victor: hey, want to play twenty questions? yuuri, pretending he's not a FanboiTM: sure... what's your favorite color? victor, (not even) pretending he's listening: triangle. are you in love with me?

Yuuri: Hey, are you busy right now?

Viktor: A little bit. Why?

Yuuri: Oh, no worries. Nothing important.

5 hours later

Viktor: You were in jail?! Why didn't you say anything?!

Yuuri: You were busy!

characters as things friends + family have said

victor: have you ever been tempted by a body pillow?

yuri: no.

victor: i don’t believe you.

Yurio: I wish I could say I outdid myself, but I'm always this good. So I simply did myself.

Incorrect Yuri On Ice Quotes by @yoi-incorrect-quotes (1 - 2 - 3 - 4)

Bai Wuxiang: I'm going to ruin your happiness

Xie Lian, hysterical: My happiness?! Mine??!

Xie Lian, to Feng Xin: I'm happy? Why didn't you tell me?!

Victor: How's the sexiest person here~?

Yuuri: I don't know, how are they~?

Victor, flustered: I-

Yurio, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Olivia: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Amanda: Several traffic violations.

Carisi: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Barba: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Fin: Also, that’s not our car.

Yuri: Yurio isn't answering his phone.

Otabek: I'll call.

Yuri: Victor and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Yurio: Hello?

Yoi: *puts cigarette into his mouth, front end first* Keigo: Mm! Yoi: I-It’s a metaphor! Keigo: You’re putting it on the wrong side. Yoi: Oh. *puts cigarette into his mouth correctly*

How to Capture Cale: a guide by Alberu

Step1: Have the same attitude like Cale

Step2: Deal with bullshit Cale gives you

Step3: Be rich.

Step4: Be Alberu rich.

Step5: Be strong and have a gun

Step6: Make him your sworn brother

Step7: Be really rich. Like really rich.

Step8: Wake up. You can't capture Cale - he captures you.

people introducing victor: this is serial gold medal winner, olympic champion, figure skating God and living legend Victor Nikiforov victor, introducing himself: hi, i'm Yuuri Katsuki's fiancé!!!

Otabek, stroking Yura's hair: You're so cute and pretty. Yura, sleepily: I could beat the shit out of you. Otabek, lovingly: I know.

Boun, Sisu, Raya and Tong chilling in one room peacefully. Namaari is working at a far end table so she can get her work actually done. Modern AU?

Boun, reading a book: Hey um, guys, I have a question... why does enemies to lovers work?

Sisu, nudging Raya, smirking: why don't you handle this one. You're the one most qualified here.

Raya, hitting her shoulder gently: oh stop! Let's see, enemies to lovers... how do I explain... hmmn.... I guess... the reason why it works is that... you already sort of take the other person seriously. And when you find this common middle ground of realization and understanding, that leaves you with a spark of empathy that grows more as their actions start to become justified. Because you can see why they did what they did. And all because you already took them seriously enough that you noticed. It's hard to step out of that common ground because you start to see something in them, you see them as a person or someone like yourself in that way and then the understanding just spirals into a bond and over time, well, you get me.

Namaari, from across the room: OR YOU COULD BOTH JUST BE IMPECCABLY HOT!

Raya, wincing and blushing at the same time: Oh Dang it! DEPLA!

Namaari: What? It's about the chemistry. (Winks*)

Raya, shoving her face into a pillow, groaning: STOp—

*Christophe rounds a corner, casually barefoot and shirtless, a hand towel draped over his shoulders inexplicably* Yuri, eyes widening in a frenzy: No stripping in my house, buddy! Christophe: I was naked when I got here.. Viktor, knowing how flustered it’ll make Yuri: Chris, I for one think you look very, very attractive. Why not make it a party and take your pants off too?

Yuuri: "Take. Me. Sightseeing."

Incorrect Yuri On Ice Quotes by @yoi-incorrect-quotes (1 - 2 - 3 - 4)