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rorichuu · 8 months

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OMG HELLO!!! i see that u do tf2 and i’d love to request smth hehehehheheALSO ur account is so pretty what ?!?!

but i hope you’re well dude! can i request some relationship headcanons with some (or all!!) of the mercs pls? or any basic headcanons !!

take your time btw:)

the tf2 mercs in a relationship + headcanons

pairing: mercs x reader (gender not specified)

authors note: MY FIRST REQUEST WAAAHH also oml thank you, you’re so sweet :( some headcanons coming your way! ... also i apologize if they're ooc, this is my first time writing for them:'(

disclaimer: minor spoilers for the comic in heavy's!

Scout:

i’ll be honest, when scout found out Miss Pauling was a lesbian he was pretty beat up for a while

that was until he realized other people exist!

he literally follows u around like a puppy dog when he realizes he has a crush on you

ALWAYS TRYNA RIZZ YOU UP LIKE SCOUT PLEASE WE'RE ABOUT TO GET BLOWN UP BY THE ENEMY SOLDIER

his love language is definitely physical touch and words of affirmation

and is ungodly touch starved

i can see him trying to find ways to touch you, and not in a sexual way... just either grazing your arm when he talks to you, or he stays shoulder-to-shoulder with you when you sit next to each other

he finds it very very comforting

and if you tell this man he looks very handsome or just occasional i love you's, he'll fold ong

his heart melts and he just wants to hold you till he can't anymore

but i think Miss Pauling and Scout would be pretty good buds after the whole "Scout constantly flirting with Miss Pauling" thing died down

and his confession was pretty cringey ngl

his crush on you was very evident so when he tries to ask you out, you say yes

(skipping down the halls with joy)

bisexual icon

Soldier:

oh man

this dude's flirting is... so hard to detect😭

but a lot of his attention is on you!

and makes a lot of exceptions for you

for someone who doesn't like loud noises and is very sensitive to outside stimuli, if you're like me and he notices it, he'll definitely find a way to be more quiet

like if you and the rest of the mercs are lined up and notices you're cowering or anxious asf, he's goes soft and let's you go

if you thank him or say you appreciate him for his efforts, his face is SO RED.

but he salutes you and said he was happy to do for a fellow compatriot

(his hearts beating so fast help him pls)

BUT if you're just as loud and upbeat as him/share his energy, he's in heaven

he loves that you like to blow shit up with him?!?! like omg this is my lover and i will marry them on this battlefield right now.

love languages is totally acts of service

like if you save this man from the enemy he's blushing so fucking hard like omg i love you

with his confession, it was straight forward and to the point (but he was beet red ... basically my hc on him is that he blushes very easily fhjrebjh)

also gender doesn't matter to him, he loves who he loves

Pyro:

HUBBA BUBBA

i love pyro sm :3

anyway

best lover!!!

gifts and quality time!!!

alwwaaaaaaays giving you gifts like omg all the time

your reaction is her FAVORITE

like they'll find a flower burnt to a crisp or a homemade corpse bracelet and he'll have the brightest aura

LOVES MAKING CRAFTS WITH YOU OMG!

jumping up and down if you give her something

like she's the happiest person in the world

bonus if you share a love for fire

campfires/bonfire dates!!

and you're probably the only one who understands him (alongside Engi, of course) so your conversations are endless!

and is suchhh a sweet tooth

such a soft and loving partner!

when pyro confesses (and you accept) he's leaping with joy quite literally

BIG HUG :)))

asexual royalty!!!

Demoman:

holy moly

VERY DRAMATIC WHEN HES DRUNK AND VERY CLINGY

which is a lot of the time cause yknow, very much alcoholic

but when he's sober he's pretty level headed NFJHBJ (comics for reference)

idk man he gives off best friend kinda lover

like he's always so hype and the best to be around

so when he found out he had a crush on you, he was pretty much head over heels

when he's drunk he's always holding you

hugs, kisses, hand holding, slumping on you

NAPS!

omg the best to nap with ong

BRO IS A FUCKING HEATER he's always so gd HOT

so if you're taking a nap with him don't get a blanket he's legit sprawled all over you

but it's kind of a different story when he's sober (he gives you your space but def rolls around in his sleep)

oh boy his confession was definitely when he was on his 100th drink

his confession was SO SLURRED

if you said yes he's over the moon

Heavy:

honestly, this man is a huge softy

and VERY protective.

have you seen him in the comics? he was 100% ready to kill a man over Medic's death (and just his natural protectiveness, like his family for example)

but dude his love language is for sure acts of service and physical touch

when he realized he had a crush on you, he always kinda stuck by you on the battlefield

even with the high of combat, his eye always finds youuu😭

i love heavy sm

and its quite obvious this man doesn't speak much, unless in his native tongue (which isn't often)

so even if he doesn't say anything, he'll for sure stand by you or take your hand

if you have anxiety, this man is SUCH a comfort

also you'd def be the one to confess

if you asked him out or asked to if you could be his partner, he is kinda shocked but is very very happy :)

lets you hold Sasha

no label, love is love

Engineer:

AUGRRHHRR SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

i'm so deeply in love with this man omg someone sedate me

but anyway

is SO polite and is SO PATIENT

he absolutely adores it when you visit him when he's working

it gets lonely sometimes because he focuses best when the others aren't around (aside from pyro) ... but when he realized how much he loved your presence, he expected almost every day for you to visit him at least once

(gets bummed when you don't)

but if you have a genuine curiosity for what he does and what it means, he tells you ALL about it!!!

he understands it can be very confusing if you haven't studied engineering/computer science, etc... so he is more than happy to explain it to you :)

BARBEQUES!!

loves cooking for you and would sooo wear a "kiss the cook" or something cheesy like that (he finds it funny and hopes to get a smoochy)

quality time quality time quality time

and pet names

omg pet names

"love", "darlin'", "sweetheart", "buttercup"

HIS CONFESSION OMG

i can kinda see engi being a bit cheesy honestly

his confession would be pretty casual! he wasn't too stressed about asking you... and would probably slip the question in mid-convo !

rfhbrtgbj much love for this man

pansexual!

Medic:

I'll be honest here

his love is lowkey highkey possessive

but i think it'd either take a while for him to realize his feelings for you or would become attached VERY QUICKLY

there's zero in between

with his deep love and possession, he finds such deep fascination with your anatomy/body

not even sexually bro

he just thinks you're so incredible and puts u under a microscope

PHYSICAL TOUCH

this man hasn't felt the touch a person in years (aside from the mercs' checkups obviously)

and übercharge, if it was a love language

worships u ONG

loves to see you with such confidence when he activates the übercharge omfg

he thinks you're the most attractive thing he ever laid eyes on

confession? nah yall kinda just started dating; yall kinda just started happening

let me explain😭if someone was tryna ask you out, medic would be pretty quick to step in

uses his height to his advantage to let the person know what's up 😨

bisexual with a def male lean

Sniper:

at first you would definitely think sniper hates you

he wouldn't purposely avoid you, but he like spends zero personal time with you at first

he's always in his van and istg u wanna drag him out and force him to tolerate you

(and he'd probably find that very attractive if you did)

but if he found out he has feelings for you? oh boy oh boy

acts of service 🔛🔝

if you were in close combat with someone and you tripped, the enemy having the upper hand... you'd hear a sudden gunshot in the enemy's skull and a loud thud.

but before you could look up, he was nowhere to be found (you knew it was him and you were very appreciative)

if you brought it up to him OH MY GOD his face would be soooo red soso red

"Don't worry about it, mate..." HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT

the most bisexual man i have ever seen

Spy:

too suave for his own good dude

his love is very old-fashioned!

when spy finds his massive crush on you, is when he realizes the comfort of your presence

if you can have comfortable silence with spy is when he is totally connected/in love with you

smoking out the window/evening night conversations!

also when i tell you this man gets so flustered if you one-up him...

he'll wave it off and play it mad casual but on the inside he's malfunctioning

would definitely take you to the best, high-class restaurants and walks you home omg

HAND KISSES FOREHEAD KISSES

loves to spoil you holy shit

always buying you stuff (jewelry, clothes, shoes, personal things you like... he bought it already)

which btw love language is definitely gifting and quality time

def bisexual like cmon

rorichuu!

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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 1 month

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Miscellaneous headcanons. Maybe some weird ones later we'll see

-----------

Farah who keeps track of time by reciting little prayers under her breath. At some point she starts teaching Alex some.

Gaz who at 18 had a surprisingly grownup conversation with his girlfriend, they split on friendly terms, so peaceful in fact that they still check in on each other now and then. (as in the one couple that made we should stay friends truly work)

He loves going window shopping and he actually gives you constructive criticism on the outfits his partner show him.

Johnny who despite being a punk and a nuisance to the local neighborhood, was the sweetest boy to his ma and grandmas

Also he is so efficient in the bathroom after years of getting chased out of it by his sisters for taking longer than 5 minutes. Sits down to pee, learned the hard way that his ma doesn't want him standing.

A young Alejandro who's the worst fuckboy until he meets that one person and now he's stuck trying his hardest to get rid of that title. Just to spend atleast a year getting ignored, almost gives up but asks them for a last dance and actually gets a yes.

Owns a bunch of colorful short sleeve button ups, yknow those Hawaiian ones that only dad's and lesbians wear.

Rudy who actually isn't shy but reserved. He just is that quiet naturally. In contrast to alejandro he had one partner his entire life, they're an actual pretty happy couple with an extremely normal life (except for Rudy's job). Like they're just vibin™

His spice tolerance level is ass.

Simon volunteering at the local animal shelter in his free time. He tends to either the kittens or the extremely reactive dogs.

Refuses to drink those electrolytes sachets, the water feeling all thick makes him gag.

Price who during his youth caught a bunch of STDs including herpes.

Nowadays he gets screened regularly.

Also he has a bald spot in his chest hair.

Good MOOOOORNING TO US ALL

And my goodness Lyra I agree with all of those

Minus, Rudy can 100% handle spice but he'll sweat like crazy and go all red in the face (but he handles it, he eats it without going all "AHHHH WATER, MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE")

Also, I'm SO glad I'm not the only one that HC'S Price as being RIDDLED with STD's??? (I ALMOST went that route with It's a Match)

#asks #moots

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fat-oc-battle · 4 months

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varmint (she, killer klowns from outer space) character & art by @pencil-amateur

Varmint is an Killer Klown who is weirdly enamored with select human music and culture. She especially likes rodeo clownery and Primus. She's cheerful and energetic, but like others from her planet, has a very skewed, inhuman sense of morality. She is quite trigger-happy, and thinks potentially lethal gags are hilarious. Varmint also has a soft spot for her significant other, a gloomy and intimidating Klown named Sniffles.

varmint lore

VS.

edith aspsens (she/he/they, home is nowhere) character & art by @thedivisionbell1994

edith is a 31 year old transmasc butch lesbian, he’s a mechanic and his wife is a professional singer. absolutely JOVIAL soul, she is so fun to be around and can light up a room immediately with just her presence. they’re extremely social, but also know their way around others who may not match their energy and will try to tone it down to make sure they’re comfortable. unfortunately her company is usually more of a shadier crowd, due to her upbringing he tends to gravitate towards others who while they may be kind, they don’t have his best interest at heart. she doesn’t exactly know her own strength, which paired with the fact that she doesn’t exactly understand when some things are considered violent can definitely make for a frightening presence! but that’s what happens when you’re essentially raised to be a human bloodhound and never really get proper counseling for it yknow? she means well- she really does, but unfortunately the lines between her humanity and the anxiety and aggression of a mistreated dog bred for hunting are extremely blurred. but honestly it’s fine to be honest her older siblings are also deranged in their own special ways. he’s also an osdd1a system! he doesn’t really like… put a name to it until the main events of the game but yea she’s got some mental illness. mostly bc as a system it sucks seeing abysmal rep, but osdd1a systems rlly get the short end of the stick so i wanted them to be an osdd1a system (even if we aren’t). like i said they have older siblings, two of which who they have EXTREMELY complex relationships with. i won’t get into the whole apsens family drama atm but basically she still idolizes their father bc she thinks that what he put them all through was beneficial to their upbringing, and shuns the two of them for fearing/hating him and keeps trying to dig his already tarnished and decayed legacy out of its grave and trying to prop it up and continue it, even if it does destroy her. deep down edith just really needs someone to tell them that they’re allowed to be their own person and they don’t have to keep trying to appease a man who never really cared for them in the first place and isn’t even alive anymore.

#oc bracket #oc tournament #killer klowns from outer space

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selamat-linting · 1 month

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yknow growing up as lgbtq with an embarrassing kink and realizing sexuality from the lens of that fetish has always made me question myself. different from other ppl who grew up as a girl and realize theyre bi later in life, the first person i had a crush on was always women. the person i have daydreams for are always girls. i might have crushes on men, and i have plenty, and i talk a lot about it, but i can never find them sexually attractive from the lense of the kink i developed when i was seven years old. thats how i know im gay basically. i even have a case where a guy i had a crush on online turns out to be a girl, twice.

i guess i found men kind of gross in general? its strange. i thought i was a lesbian and then i thought i was asexual and had a whole angsty teenage phase about it that caused me to internally ping pong between two labels. like, i feel that my attraction to men is just comphet because i cant find them hot in this spesific scenario that always gets me good if a random woman was in it. i said i was bi, but its mostly because i dont mind dating men for social acceptability and friendship reasons, and because im still unsure if im a man or a woman or neither. i wouldnt mind dating men, some of them are nice and i dont think being friends and dating have much difference anyway. i have a guy irl that i absolutely adore and would love to cuddle for hours. but would i like it if i fuck them? not really. but i guess i have to do it because thats what a good partner is supposed to do. so thats the kind of bi i was from 2013-2022. even when i decided im genderfluid, not a full time girl nor a full time dude, my sexuality is very ambiguous.

until i saw that damned dog collar gifset and it sent me to a spiral. i began to find men legit hot in a physical way, and i develop a fixation on cm punk. i began to read a few porn, and i found a some... materials that happens to have my super secret embarrassing fetish that features him in it. and turns out im into it. like really really into it. he's different. i thought he'll simply end up as yet another men i like for a few months but can never truly have the hots with, but no. i really truly find him fuckable. the streak is broken. and he broke it.

so thats why im happy to call myself bi! i really am one. unless he decides to be a girl a few years down the line ofc. but thats unlikely right?

#mental illness posting

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thrilling-oneway · 4 months

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You are so right with m/f stuff! I’m not familiar with a lot of VBS shipping discourse, but it’s annoying to see how people can’t write an analysis on how important Tsukasa is to Rui without others dog piling them and saying they’re delusional and ignoring canon for their yaoi “with no content”. (At least on twitter, tumblr is much better with this) And as someone whose also bisexual, it’s so annoying seeing people use bisexuality as a gotcha to ship m/f and act as if its progressive and that it gives them the okay to hate on f/f and m/m pairings.

YES YES EXACTLY. God I hate when people keep saying that ruikasa has no content and their dynamic is underdeveloped whenever anyone talks about them. Like as biased as I am because I like the ship, they do have a very developed dynamic regardless of if you like the ship or not. Literally there's three events about it (potato and pandemonium + it was a pretty big background element in curtain call), one of which is the third event in the game. like if you don't like ritk that's perfectly fine, but when people are dogpilling ritk shippers for talking about their dynamic/pandemonium chapter 8/wtv and saying they're reaching, especially if the person doing this is an account dedicated to another rui ship/are a rui fan, it's a bad look because you're literally ignoring a very significant part of his arc. Ignoring massively important aspects of a character you claim to like just because of a ship is low. This fandom is way too set on everything being about shipping like bruh no one is telling you that you had to view pandemonium as romantic you can view it as platonic perfectly fine and not need to erase parts of rui's character to justify your rui/female character ship.

it's an especially weird situation with VBS as well. as much as I hold the earlier EN fandom to a higher standard there was a lot of discourse around VBS and the fact that they're implied gay. like it used to be a situation where if you admitted you shipped m/f vbs you would get jumped. as a comeback people would accuse biphobia but i never saw huge amounts of people being actually biphobic. saying "an and kohane are quite heavily implied to be lesbians (and it makes some people uncomfortable to see them shipped with men)" is a true statement but people didn't need to attack others over it. not liking a bi headcanon isn't biphobic unless you're actually being biphobic about it yknow? luckily it calmed down after a while but now you get jumped for not shipping m/f which leads us straight back to the statement about an and kohane. gbr the situation with vbs shipping nowadays is much worse than the situation when i first joined, obviously partially bc of the massive increase in fandom size but mainly because people are spewing actual homophobic rhetoric over akty ankh (someone literally tried to claim heterophobia was real bc of people not liking m/f vbs a couple months ago. actually this has happened multiple times).

AND YES GOD THIS FANDOM'S APPROACH TO BI HEADCANONS IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING. Like people only use it as a way to make m/f ships more queer and try to 1 up people with it because oh yes male/female couple are not the norm at all and they're so cool and different and if you add a bi/pan hc on top of that it makes you more progressive (/s). HCing a character as bi does not give you cool points and the fact that so many people only do it for m/f ships pisses me off to no end because people treat it like Straight 2 when bi people can be in m/m and f/f relationships. People can hc whatever they want ofc but it's so obvious sometimes that people are only using bi hcs as a way to quickly round off their hcs for every character so they can multiship or justify their m/f ships as queer and at that point I'd rather they just hc'd them as straight because I don't like seeing my identity used solely for the purpose of making a ship more queer because someone doesn't want their m/f to be a hetship.

#sorry this is late i forgot to hit post for 2 days orz #asks

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cowboyjen68 · 2 years

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Hi Jen, and hello every butch reading this. I need your help.

I don't know where to begin, this has veen a problem for me for almost a decade now. I've followed you (Jen) for a few years now, and you're a very comforting figure to my brain, so I was hoping you and possibly others could help me out a bit. If not answers, then some good advice, open mindedness, patience, and possibly links to resources and helpful places. I've wanted to reach out to older butches and such about my issues with gender for a while, because I've flipped between a few and always have my mind coming back to butch in some form or another. Whether I act on it between each circle back or not, it stays.

I came out as some flavor of trans around 13, and then moved towards binary FtM around 14 or 15, which is when I met my first partner ever. I've had a ton of jumps back to being just kind of butch but in a weird middle butch state of not lesbian, not ftm, not anything but butch. I grew up in the midwest for 10 years (starting at 10,) and came out as a lesbian at 11 or 12. Regardless of how I was identifying in highschool, I was bullied and catcalled as a lesbian my whole childhood, seen as a d/ke, called it, I got the worst of it all, had girls try to kick my ass and dudes try to "turn me." I hung out with the fem cishet alt girls half my height and half my weight, carried them around, I was the ugly tall bitch that protected them. Had a wicked shaved head, wearing mens clothes handmedown, mens boots, brought a swiss army knife everywhere and my own wallet and housekeys. Getting pencils thrown at my head, smoking weed in the girls room, forced to change in the gender neutral stall for gym cause the school didnt know what to do with me. Guys would honk as they went past and shout dyke at me, so I started trying to blend in with highlighter shirts and jeans etc. Typical midwestern shit. I feel that despite now living as a man, i had the lived experience since a very young age (even before moving to the midwest,) of a butch. I am now fully living life as a cis man, stealth, and dating an amazing queer trans dude whose possibly genderfluid, and also very fem. He also identified as a lesbian for a long time and experienced a lot of toxicity there, and was nonbinary in his past, and I met him when he was agender and queer. He's amazing, I'm going to marry him, and he's everything I love in a partner. Feminine, went to cosmetology school, pretty nails, chubby, likes to bake and shop and wants to cook me steak, wants me to carry his stuff and his groceries, calls me his scary dog privleges, wants to scratch my sideshave. He realized he was trans and came out after we met, and I've been his biggest support against everything else, and I always will be. I love him, I'm attracted to him and he's the only person i ever have been. So I dont think I qualify anymore as a butch, despite using the term and being a butch for so many years. I was a butch, I still feel it even if I'm not really into many people at all including women (also on the aro/ace spectrum haha), but now I'm a man, I have a beard, I have a boyfriend I will never leave, who knows how I feel and loves me and we both know no matter where we end up gender wise or sexuality wise that pretty much me and him are it, and if it contradicts, who gives a shit, yknow?

My dating history has always been feminine nbs, feminine trans boys, and femme lesbians. I have never dated a masculine cis man, masculine nb, anyone masculine at all. For lack of better terms due to my situation, I have always been butxh4femme and at least masc4fem. I have always been the guardian and gentle giant of my fem partners, I also am mostly a stone butch due to sexual trauma and asexuality. Due to my aroace-ness, I've also hardly dated literally anyone lmao! Maybe 3 people longterm and seriously in my entire 21 years. This is getting really long, and I'll be honest, I've been yelled out of all communities I've been in for being so damn complicated. I'm scared I'll hurt mt partner and he'll feel I don't see him as he is, I'm scared I'll hurt lesbians despite living and growing as one most of my life, I'm scared I'll hurt me by identifying as butch because I feel like I'll have to detransition. I also kinda look fuck ugly without a beard nowadays, cause lord knows I've shaved that shit fullon twice now because of this exact issue.

I want to be called sir, and I love being on T. I hate getting a period, and my bottom dysphoria is agonizing, but I probably wont get bottom surgery. I want to not be catcalled. I want to get top surgery eventually, and maybe I don't want a full beard. I wanna cut all the sleeves off my shirts again and get some sexy workboots and jeans. I know I want my pretty femboy boyfriend on my arm forever, I don't care how he ends up identifying or me either, and to see him wear his dress on our wedding day. I want to be butch but still be seen as a man, but I don't think I'm allowed because so many people have shit on me for it and said I'm not. But I still wear my keys on my belt. I still lift the heavy shit, emotionally or physically, every day for him. I still do my role, I still protect the people around me. But I don't want people to look at me when I say butch and assume me or my boy are women, out of respect for him and me too.

Advice needed, please, anybody that's willing to help me and help me find my path. It's been so back and fourth so long. Thank you.

- R

i am sorry for taking so long. Fall is a very busy season with all my jobs ramping up and getting ready for winter on the homestead.

Your writing was a lot to absorb and I admit I read it several times and had to come back because it weighed on my emotions and heart heavily. I was driving tractor last night so I had lot of thinking time. I went over in my head how you much feel, how I could possibly answer this with any coherant advice or even just some comforting words.

You are only 21, my advice if you were my child (i have 3--25 year olds, a 22 year old and a 16 yo), would be to slow your roll. 3 serious relationships by 21 is a lot. At a time when we are sort of socially and mentally programmed to be free and using our energy to exlplore our individuality you were putting efforts into maintaining viable relationships with other people who were probably also trying to figure themselves out. I was 23 before I even had one serious relationship and i was probably still NOT ready for it.

When we never live a single life or a life on our own it becomes hard to separate who we are from our partner. It is normal to bounce off of each other and to both want badly to share the same values, identity and interestes EVEN if as individuals those things might never have lined up.

I am NOT a therapist nor can I possibly know you or your exact feelings, I can only go by what you told me. When I am asked for advice I am honest but kind, go from my experiences and or those stories I have been told by friends. Sometimes what I say is NOT what you want or expected to hear. That is okay. You can take what I say or leave it. Or use what helps, ignore what doesn't . So here it goes.

My point about you both meeting young,and thus relying on each other to work on your individuality comes into play here. You are both, I am guessing around 21. Neither of you have had any time to forge exactly who you are. Stastically what are the chances of two women who both lived as a lesbian meeting after you transitioned and the partner ALSO being trans but not coming out until AFTER the fact. Until after the relationship has progessed.? Speaking in terms of how many trans people are in the population that feels like quite a statistical anomally. What are the chances? Now I suck and math and I know the percentage of any given population in the LGBT+ community as compared to greater society seems sketchy, based on shitty research and at best a bad guess. It just gives me a bit of pause and might give you some food for thought, a chance to think over outside influence vs life long dysphoia or other factors.

I preface this by saying I can in no way know you or your partner or pasts or any actual feelings, only what you have told me. I appreciate your stark honesty and your willingness to admit you are struggling. Reaching out is hard even as an anon. Is it in any way possible your partner was influenced heavily by wanting badly to share your life, your values, to feel more inline with you and to feel more close to you and to solidify the relationship in a space that she perceives as more comfortable to you. OR perhaps even your friend group?

You talk aboout pressure from all sides to be this or be that and if you are a trans man I am sure she was getting not too subtle pressure to not use lesbian even though she was maybe just fine with that, it felt right. There is a vicious push from inside the house to tell people how to describe their sexuality and relationship when it is no one’s business. Others feel uncomfortable when two people live their lives as they see fit and don’t rely on how people perceive them to be happy. It makes some people nuts in fact.

To your concern about detransitioning or not or what makes you happy. I know detransitioners and they slide just fine back into the lesbian community they used to have or they have found their own new lesbians friend group. It is not impossible. At many events I have been to in my life, women’s festivals included, there were tans men there who lived soley as men outside the protective walls of women spaces but were happy to be seen as women within the safety of the limited time and space of the event. You can find community among lesbian no matter how you land, it just takes a little bravery and ultimately being okay with yourself.

I am not going to tell you it is easy no matter the path you choose. Reidentifying as a woman with a full beard and staying on T is never going to be as easy as just saying “I am THIS “. You would have to spend time coming back out, explaining etc until such a time you formed a community who knows you and understands your past.

Everything you described that you love is everything I love about being butch, I am short, 5′3 so I didn’t experience some things like you have as tall woman in high school, BUT I was definitely clocked as a lesbian even with great effort to be seen has just wearing “typical midwestern shit”. My entire wardrobe was T shirts, sweatshirts, jeand and tennis shoes. I gave up my beloved cowboy boots because others said they made me “look even more like a boy” and in the 1980′s I tranlated that to “butch lesbian” even if I did not have those words. I knew damn well what they were inferring.

I also know lesbians who take T and remain in the lesbian community, they just feel they need to pass more as men in the larger world for their peace of mind, safety, job, whatever. So deciding that lesbian and butch is right for you does not mean you can’t continue to utilize tools that help you to feel okay.

This is getting a bit long and I will admit I am unendingly biased, I have never denied that and don’t hide the fact that I think being a butch lesbian is wonderful. GIven all the factors and insecurities you have shared with me being a butch seems like the path of least resistance. Cutting back on T, not constantly worrying about “am I or am I not” and getting back to the basics of what you seemed to understand as you were coming out, before there was transitioning on your table. EVEN in the face of bullying and knowing being a lesbian was not desirable to the outside world you could not escape it and you came out. Perhaps because when you can’t escape you meet something head on and embrace it since that pulls power from the outsiders.

When you and your partner are alone, away from all others. In the safety of you bed, talking softly and about your day or your plans tomorrow, the world gets no say. You both know that is true in your hearts and please don’t let those in the world, in our own community poison that with pressure and accusations. DO NOT give them control of your heart, of your love.

Best of luck and butch hugs to you.

#butch #femme #trans man #love #pressure #lesbian

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hiseternalmayfly · 2 months

Note

7. What is your F/O fashion taste? 11. Does your F/O know how to cook? If so are they good at it? 12. What is your F/O favorite flavor? (sweet, sour, bitter, salty and umami (savory)) 13. If your F/O could be a fan of any video game what do you think it would be? 17. If you could matching tattoos what would it be? 19. Is your F/O a cake or pie person? 20. Is your F/O a morning or night person? 21. Is your F/O a coffee or tea person? 23. Does your F/O have a pet? If not in canon what do you think they would have if given the chance? 24. Is your F/O the type to want to live in the city or live out in the country? 27. If your F/O was in “avatar: the last air bender” what type of bender would they be? (air, water, earth, and fire) 28. Is your F/O LGBT+? 29. Does your F/O have any artistic hobbies? (Knitting, drawing, painting, etc) 31. What type of scent does your F/O remind you of? 32. What’s something you see often that has little to no relation to your F/O but always reminds you of them? 33. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names for your F/O? 34. What does your F/O house/apartment look like? (or what do you think it looks like) 35. What season reminds you of your F/O? (winter, spring, summer, fall) 39. What is your relationship like with your F/O? 42. Is your F/O the type to read reviews, or just go with their gut 45. What’s a fad you can see your F/O taking part of? 47. How well does your F/O know tech? (such as computers, smart phones 48. What’s some advice your F/O would tell you?

ALL FOR VASH!!!!!! >:3 PLEASE GO CRAZY WITH HEADCANONS I LOVE YOUR BRAIN [@apertures-angel]

IM GONNA HAVE TO PUT THIS UNDER A READ MORE CAUSE ITS SO MUCH I'll just cut out the ones I've answered. Only real Mechanical Mayfly fans will read them all /lh

What is your F/O fashion taste? How do I even describe that taste...leather with 1000000000 belts? He likes red long coats thats for sure! For a guy who wants to be left alone he sticks out like a sore thumb.

Does your F/O know how to cook? If so are they good at it?

Yeah! Though its mostly simple cooking cause yknow...he's on the run all the time. He at least knows how to make eggs. That's all a guy needs right

If your F/O could be a fan of any video game what do you think it would be?

FORCING HIM TO PLAY SPLATOON! I think he'd like Animal Crossing though and probably sky! Anything where he can chill and be passive

Is your F/O a cake or pie person?

Cake-- Chocolate cake to be specifc

Is your F/O a morning or night person?

I think he's a morning person which makes us horrible together cause I just know he'll be up and I won't wake up for like 6 more hours. I am holding him hostage for cuddles

Does your F/O have a pet? If not in canon what do you think they would have if given the chance?

Does that one cat count? I'm gonna count it cause I think he'd love cats...and dogs. He'd have as many animals as possible

If your F/O was in “avatar: the last air bender” what type of bender would they be? (air, water, earth, and fire)

Knowing he's a plant...I'd probably say water? I kinda imagine if he was more like his sisters in the bulbs he'd provide water!

Is your F/O LGBT+?

...Do I need to point to the couch scene? He's fruity as can be! We're lesbians. I he/him lesbian'd him Freya.

Does your F/O have any artistic hobbies? (Knitting, drawing, painting, etc)

Omg...I'd love for him to learn how to knit. That'd be so cute imagine him making little scarfs and sweaters for the local kids that's so cute.

What type of scent does your F/O remind you of?

Hmm...a sort of leather smell? It's hard to describe but it's a strong one.

What’s something you see often that has little to no relation to your F/O but always reminds you of them?

Dandelions! Cause they're as yellow as his hair.

Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names for your F/O?

Spikey and Typhoon are the two I like to use :3 and of course for me he uses Mayfly

What does your F/O house/apartment look like? (or what do you think it looks like)

If he had one it'd be a mess probably. He's just too tired from doing shit for so many years hes like "yeah I'll deal with this later."

What season reminds you of your F/O? (winter, spring, summer, fall)

Summer! Since Gunsmoke is so fucking hot. We gonna be dying of heat together.

What is your relationship like with your F/O?

It's perfect! We should get married truthfully...he's my soulmate and the one for me <3

Is your F/O the type to read reviews, or just go with their gut

He's going with his gut and then regretting it later when he gets food poisoning.

What’s a fad you can see your F/O taking part of?

Do you remember that challenge way back when...I think it was the planking challenge where you laid on something crazy in a plank form? He'd so that!

How well does your F/O know tech? (such as computers, smart phones

Very well! Sadly since the technology was lost during the big fall he's a little rusty but he can still use lost technology extremely well :) Better than most of us really.

#rambles #✌️#f/o ask game

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romanticfistfightz · 5 days

Note

omg can u tell us about the lesbian ocs 🥺

OMG YES YES YESSSS!!!!!

okay so . the demon and girl . the girls name is mira faryniak and shes my first oc ever made . shes a trans girl with a trans brother bc i thought its fun for them to do the Switch and shes also bi. and a chill person and she likes reading books and shes generally goth but i havent drawn her goth yet:(( and she has a dog. i think. she had a dog when i first made her but then i kinda forgor but i think im gonna canonically give her a dog. also shes into witchcraft but i dont know enough to decide what kind etc so just in general

and the demon!!! her name is zaria and mira accidentally summoned her bc she bought a random spellbook from olx and read a spell bc she was trying something out and summoned zaria who hasnt been on earth in soo many years she kinda forgot the rules of yknow. dont fall in love with humans. so now shes chilling on earth relearning how to function in general . so shes hanging out with mira reading and helping her out with spells and stuff

the two furries!! the cat one is jen and shes a purple calico cat. hes also nonbinary (he/she) and disabled and had top surgery just bc she wanted to. also uses a cane !! and jens a butch. i dont really have much character-wise for either of them though:(( the dog furry is ash!! shes trans and an african wild dog and femme. also has hearts as pupils bc i thought its cute<3

#i loooove talking abt my ocs you can ask me abt my ocs forever and ever<3

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pherre · 1 year

Note

Regina spektor anon again (hi!!!) Getting through mash at an unbelievable pace cus ive been putting it on while i ink a 20-something page comic. Im at the end of s7. Margaret being part of hawkeye and bjs little crew is amazing. Her lightening up a bit and also getting more, like, consciously written as sad and hardened by her experiences is soo good. Also i think by s7 theyve finally (correctly) landed on the idea that she does not need to be paired off with hawk or charles or any main cast male in order to justify her presence. Thank god for that cus her Platonic Chemistry with ppl, esp hawkeye, is off the charts. Shes my favorite character i think (her and hawkeye anyhow)- shes just so compelling. Shes also getting a little more masculine sometimes. You see her in fatigues and shit like that which yknow👀. Sapphic hotlips agenda (i know what was up when that old childhood friend came to visit). Btw I love Charles. Hes awful and elitist and a chauvinist but hes definitely a far better foil than frank cus he's capable of holding his own against bj and hawk and he's not a warguy rlly. (I say this with great affection for larry linville and for frank as a character, cus he was great too!! Its just that i like charles more) and watching charles warm up very slowly is great. I tend to not be on charles's side but its very satisfying to watch hawkeye get put in his place sometimes and it also makes it a lot more satisfying to see ppl get one over on charles because its actually a challenge. Speaking of which, i loved in love and war and inga Very Much. What stellar episodes. I demand More slamming hawk into the ground about his misconceptions and fuckups (affectionate) especially regarding women. Also the show made me cry again- when hawkeye tells radar off and makes him cry, margaret's little dog monologue, and especially especially when mulcahy punches that wounded man during the xmas ep??? :,>( the shame he felt was so relatable and touching. again thanks for introducing me to this series, its such a joyful experience to get to know this piece of art and experience it. Ooh oh also, i wanted to weigh in on the Where To Start Debate. While im not a purist and i think any way a person comes to a piece of art is valid, imo the best way to do MASH is to start from the start. The sexism and racism was genuinely very disheartening, and the cornier, sitcom-ier writing does make it feel a little less essential than subsequent episodes and seasons but honestly if you're in for the longhaul it ultimately deepens the experience cus so much of subsequent MASH is invested in interrogating its past, generally thru giving margaret more of a voice and by complicating Hawkeye's role as the guy we the audience are meant to agree with and identify with. The satisfaction that comes with deepening Margarets characterization and taking her problems more seriously is partially predicated on, for example, the early shows casually dismissive attitude regarding instances wherein she was sexually assaulted or harrassed or demeaned. I hope they continue doing that. I know that that isnt an experience everyone wants, but it feels rlly cool to watch the show learn empathy and grow from its crueler, fratbro-ish perspective to something more holistically empathetic. Sorry thats soooo many words dont feel obligated to respond if its too much. I just have thoughts. Thanks.

aaaaaaa hi anon!!!!!! i love reading your thoughts dw <3

margaret's character arc is definitely one of the best things in mash. everyone say thank you to loretta swit for fighting for her character

and yes wlw margaret is so real!!! some ppl hc her as a lesbian, i personally prefer to think of her as bisexual bc her relationships with men on the show are too important to her character to consider them comphet. 2 me. all headcanons are beautiful though love is love

i'm so happy you like charles! he's definitely a more fitting antagonist for the kind of show mash became by season 6. the way his character is explored does add a lot more depth to the show (and at some point i feel you'll find yourself rooting for charles too lol. maybe! maybe not) and dont worry there will be more slamming hawkeye into the ground. maybe too much even

and i think you're right about starting mash from the pilot! part of my enjoyment of mash is about seeing how it changes, evolves and confronts its own shortcomings. for some people that might not be the case though, so i generally think if someone's not vibing with season 1's pacing or jokes but still wants to check out the show, s2 is a solid place to start. it has a soft pilot AND it's one of the best seasons of television ever like literally win win

youre always welcome in my inbox!!! i'm v jealous of you experiencing mash for the first time tbh so i'm living vicariously through you lol

#im not against starting with season 4 i just cant imagine missing out on henry and trapper lmao #but if you're here more for the drama/character moments than the comedy than its a perfectly reasonable way to start #the right way to watch mash is with love in your heart #its me talking #vanya watches mash #long post

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fluffomatic · 2 years

Note

do u have any tips for identity struggles? :(

i’m a lesbian as well and i worry that i might be bi. i don’t wanna be bi (not that there’s anything wrong with that ofc) but sometimes i find men attractive and it makes me really upset and uncomfortable :,( i don’t think that it’s legitimate, men gross me out irl, but Hehhdkfkrjbenfn yknow :(

Bestie trust me I go through the same shit. For the longest time I really thought I liked men, I saw them and I liked the way they looked. I've had plenty of boyfriends that I found attractive! But of course they all ended cause even though I found them visually pleasing I wasn't really attracted TO them, if you know what I mean? That may not make sense 😅 another thing that I had to come to terms with as a lesbian is wanting men to be attracted to me. Like every guy I meet I want them to find me hot and I want them to have feelings for me but I never want to pursue anything with them. Apparently thats actually really common for lesbians! I don't know why it's a thing? Maybe it's like a self esteem thing I dunno.

Let me try something that might help. Say you're a cat person. You love cats so much! The only animal you'll ever want in you life is a cat. But you look at dogs and go "Hey! That's a really cute dog!" You like the way the dog looks and maybe you want the dog to like you too! But you wouldn't adopt it cause you just don't like the idea of having a dog in your life. You can always appreciate the way something looks but not want that thing for yourself. It's difficult to struggle with your identity, and you don't have to label yourself right away. It takes time to figure things out! If you're a lesbian, that's great! And if you're bi? That's also incredible!! Just take you're time to figure it out and try not to rush to a conclusion focus on one label and try to force yourself to fit that label. Sexuality and gender identity is fluid! Hope this helps!

#thanks for the ask!#answered asks #lgbtq #identity issues #pride month #lesbian #biseuxal #serious

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ragnarssons · 2 years

Note

PERJURY. Possibly multiple counts too?! And yet there are still people who think she's telling the gospel truth 🤦‍♀️

I mean, just at the top of my head, let's make a list of everything Amber Heard lied about that are just simply out there: - the posters on her walls?? cuz her mother sure tells a different story - maybe even her father being an abuser cuz, it's just out now and even on the stand she either talks about it or don't?? - anything where she states that her father is a good person, since yknow, the dude is a known animal abuser and runs dog fighting rings (idc it's a personal judgement here, but if you run illegal dog fighting rings, you're a garbage human being and i hope dogs eat you one day) - her dogs being smuggled into Australia - donating money to charities, including dying children - "i have been a good wife" or whatever, cuz you know, cheating on your husband while he's on the other side of the world, with several people in his own penthouse isn't being a good wife - lied about not doing cocaine ever and not having any problem with alcohol when we have proof that she did cocaine (and more drugs) and when she's VERY DRUNK in several of the audio tapes that were admitted to court - not to mention, a shitton of pictures of her with bottles of wine on her own social medias account - obviously lied about using Milani's councealer during her marriage, since it wasn't even created while she was with JD. - lying about Arnica (and not Amica) cuz it doesn't fix a broken nose within 24hours or less (actually it doesn't fix broken noses at all) - "i was not sick during coachella" when her own "bff" testifies that she threw up during the entirety of coachella because she was so drunk and full of drugs - "i didn't even own a car when i was with jd!" vs "i was financially independant during the entirety of this marriage" like it's either one or the other yknow... - "the cop who arrested me for domestic violence in 2009 was homophobic" *shrugs* cue that same cop being a lesbian, openly pro-lgbt activist, but whatevs - her fake activism for BLM when it was trendy By the way, there is no "possible" multiple counts, it's A FACT. It's out there, just by reading the disparities between the UK file and the VA file. Or between the 2016 file, the 2020 file in UK and the 2022 file from today. These DO NOT add up. The stories in it kept changing. Over and over again, for six years. She has FOUR different accounts, told ON THE STAND of how Johnny Depp lost his finger. Like?? And that's without mentioning all the things she said, then her sorry ass loser freeloaders friends said differently. She can't keep up with her own lies, so keeping up with her friends (ex-friends) lies is even harder, yknow!

#amber heard #johnny depp #tw domestic abuse #answered

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pinktatertots99 · 3 years

Note

And also for the Misc Prompts - 5. Can I pet your dog? Do I know you? Fooooor I don't know? Maybe the Padpa Troll Marvus, was it?

AIGHT i can do this, iiii can do this. -blugh first time writin hiveswap shit that isnt au stuffs-

human au time!

Sentence Starters

5. “Can I pet your dog?” “Do I know you?”

------------------

your name is marvus xoloto, world renowned slammin poet for the masses and you have found the goodest of all the holy spirits creatures in your sites.

your currently covered up in a plain purple hoodie, black baggy pants spray painted commissioned sneakers and a fanciful insignia'd purple mask. granted you just needed to hide your luxurious mane and keep your show paint off and most people wouldn't recognize you except for your super fans and stalkers.

your sitting in a seat on the subway, decidin to take some time off and enjoy the sites of this city before you'd have to go back and work on getting your shows ready and rehearsing but right now you will not do either that unless you pet dat dog a couple seats away from you.

nobody else is sitting in them so you have clear view of dog in sight. a usual lookin brown and white collie you think? them lassie lookin dogs yknow the one. attatched to it's leash is its owner who looks like she stepped out of a lesbian cowgirl romcom in faded jeans, button up brown shirt, cowboy boots that're definietly for work then fashion, matching brown gloves and her hair chocolate brown hair cascading over her sunkissed skin.

you look around, barely anyone else is around your sitting area or on the left side of the train while they all be on the right side as you move to slide over; she doesn't notice. you slide to the next and she takes her phone out. you decide to stay like this cause sittin side to side ain't your thing.

her dog notices as their tail wags. you put on your best extroverted personality but tone it down enough to not be noticable if she knows you as you speak up.

"ayuh, min' if pet ya doge?" she looks up at you confused. "wha?"

"c'n i pet ya dog?" you ask more bluntly as she looks between you and her dog. "ohh yah shure thin'." she replies her accent thick and country as the dog gets into your sight and yo go pettin em. "her name's lady."

"niiiiice lil lady." you respond petting under her chin and side of her cheek as she nuzzles into it, melting like butter on a kitchen counter when it's ninety-nine degrees in california. your heart is melting at the sight that you don't notice cowgirl giving you an eyebrow arch.

"...do i, know ya?" she asks as the subway stops, you smirk under your mask. "dun th'nk so." you respond taking out your bejeweled phone cased phone in purple, gold and pink. "is it aigh't if i snap a flash?"

"pardon?"

"take a pic."

"oh! yah shure shure." she responds moving the dog to calm down. "i uh, got myself a blog a' pics a' her, if ya wan-" your already bringing up your phone's notes as the other passangers go first as you take down her site's account and both of you wave eachother off once you leave.

___________________

your name is skylla koriga and your currently sitting on your couch, lady in your lap as your in your shorts and tank topped pajamas with a towel over your hair. your currently checking out your social media accounts, looking at one of your new followers with the name name 'MX:O)"

you decide to click it, and proceed for the rest of the evening nearly rolled over and almost knocking your head on the small table you have when you screamed and realized THE marvus xoloto long renowned slam poet is following your silly dog blog and wondering how!?

#hiveswap #hive swap #hs #home stuck #homestuck #fanfiction #marvus xoloto #skylla koriga #i made this #michi!

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cattles-bians · 3 years

Text

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

#this one's fucken LONG!!!!!!!!#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

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