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invisiblegarters · 7 months

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Only Friends Character Rankings - Ep 6

Well this was an episode, wasn't it? Finally the mess really begins and now the mettle of every single person who says that what they were looking forward to was messiness is about to be tested. Because every single one of these characters is gonna bring the mess, even the one we like best. Maybe especially the one we like best. Here comes the point when they really start to tear strips off each other. Can we handle it?

For myself, I can't definitively answer that (temptation compels me to say yes but also you just never know and I refuse to pretend otherwise) but I can say I can't WAIT to find out.

Character Rankings (Fave to Least Fave atm)

SAND. Sand my darling my shit stirrer my passive aggressive asshole. I've already made a whole post about how calculated he was in his manipulation this episode - he wound Ray up and watched him go, and literally only interfered when the result flared out at Nick. Which shows me exactly how little he cares about any of these people and desperately makes me need his ex to be alive and to show up real time because Sand has some very complicated, very unresolved issues there and frankly, caring about Ray or not I think he's still in love with them.

If they are dead though that would make a lot of sense, mostly because now Sand is sort of frozen in that place of betrayal and anger and yeah, love, thwarted as it was. It would also explain his need to destroy Top at the cost of everything else.

I still wonder if it was a woman. I want it to be Mix but we keep referencing that San likes both and he's yet to be seen with a woman, so.

And nope, did not miss his passive aggressive digs at Ray either. "I see why you like him." "He's lucky he has someone like you looking out for him." Especially that first one. Lbr that was entirely a dig and while I get it - he's smarting from everything that happened with Boston before (regardless of how hard he pushes it down it's still obvious) and he figures why the hell not, no one else gives a shit so why should I, I know exactly what I am to this person and it's practically nothing so what does it matter if I use him? Tit for tat - I'm not so far up his ass (yet, there's always next week) that I can't see how fucked up it is. I just also kind of love it. I'm impressed, tbh. I was fully expecting Sand to reveal the tape to Ray out of some stupid "I just want you happy wah" thing and to have him do it this way floored me. I have said before that what I want from his storyline with Ray is mutual destruction and if things keep going along on these lines I will be very pleased. That second fight still worries me though.

I will also say that I bet I'm angrier about Ray calling him a whore (twice! In less than ten minutes!) than Sand will probably be. Sand did this, he wound Ray up as I already said, and if there's one thing that has been entirely consistent with his character thus far it's that he takes responsibility (perhaps takes it when things aren't even really his fault). He takes responsibility for his own feelings and he takes responsibility when he fucks up. I can definitely see him deciding he earned what he got, even if Ray went straight for what he knew would hurt the most - hasn't Sand told him over and over that he's not going to be bought? - he also went straight for Ray's weakest spot to get what he wanted out of him. Tit for tat.

That said, I can very much also see him internalizing that that's what Ray thinks about him. Especially if that turns into Ray's go-to insult when they fight (as I guess it might just).

I'd say he's the episode MVP, but actually he's tied with

MEW. Oh, Mew. I keep saying that it's always the reserved ones that go the most nuts when crossed and neither Sand nor Mew has proven me wrong this episode. Also the man just has a delicious sense of drama and who doesn't love that? The way he lulled Top into thinking all was well and then lured him into believing that there would be sexy times, followed up by that fucking line. I screamed and then started cackling (very quietly, it was early here and people were sleeping). MEW YOU ABSOLUTE LEGEND. I had clocked that he wasn't having fun and that he was extremely subdued about Top's showoff gift but him punching Ray really convinced me that he was gonna ignore everything Ray had been trying to say.

That said, they better not reveal that they cooked this up together because then why did Ray go full scorched earth? If it was a plan they could have executed it in pretty much any other way.

Nah, feels wrong to me. What I think is that Mew punched Ray because he was ruining Mew's on the spot plans to confront Top himself, but also because wow bestie how about we don't humiliate me in front of all our friends? Plus he knows that if he apologizes Ray will forgive him anything. It's a benefit of the whole BFF being in love with you business.

Loved the bath smile in the preview. My guess is he's gonna revenge fuck Ray, but only after Top thinks that he's forgiven him and they get back together. It'll be very messy. Why can't he fuck Sand instead that would be the ultimate revenge for both really.

Boston. Yeah, Boston. He read Ray to filth in this ep while ALSO trying to lead him into thinking that telling Mew about him and Top fucking behind his back would be just as bad as fucking Top behind his back. Like it's genius and fucked up and eighteen levels of wrong and it ultimately didn't work but jesus.

And then at the end of the whole mess he is the only one who got to go home with a dude that still wants him. And I have to appreciate that that's because Nick already knew. Sure it wasn't fun to hear I bet but it's not like it's not something Boston hasn't been clear about.

He got a reprieve this week but I suspect he knows that. He's gonna go gunning for Nick too because he's not a dumb man and he can put two and two together and get four (even though sometimes it suits his purposes to make five instead) and it's gonna dawn on him sooner than later that he has someone very very close to him who has access to all kinds of fun spy equipment, doesn't he? Why yes he does.

Looking forward to watching Mew yeet him into the pool next ep though.

Ray. I love mess, and boy howdy did Ray bring it this ep. I'm incredibly unsure why he decided to burn all his bridges so spectacularly, but well, he's drunk and maybe high definitely feeling sorry for himself and we don't always make the best decisions in those situations. Seen speculation that he fully intends on hurting himself by getting behind the wheel and yeah, that also rings true.

He also knows just where to hit everyone where it hurts and he didn't hold back, did he? If I can't blame or hate Boston for what he did last ep then the same must be said for Ray - he wasn't spewing anything that wasn't true...until he got to Sand. There it was entire untruths but I don't like Ray enough to try to unpack that, especially since my less than rosy view of Ray means that I am inclined to think the worst. Frankly what I want to say is that all Sand is to Ray, whether he's actually paying for it or not, but even I know that's uncharitable. See, growth (mine, not Ray's - I think we've got at least three episodes before we see growth from Ray).

And frankly I don't think Boston was entirely wrong that he hopes that Mew finding out about Top and Boston will send him to Ray's arms - it's not the whole reason he needs Mew to know, but yeah. it's there in the back of his mind. I still don't blame him for telling him.

But also I'm with Sand - getting in a car the way he is isn't entirely about him, he could seriously hurt someone else and that pisses me the fuck off. I have a real bug bear about drunk driving. No excuse is a good excuse for that shit and that's why he's lower than Boston this week. Fuck him for that honestly.

Top. This might be controversial, but I feel kind of bad for Top this ep. I mean, not horribly bad, I was having a great time watching everything fall apart around him, but a little bad.

And here's the reason why: I don't think that he is entirely playing a part with Mew. I do think he likes him - not sure if I buy love but he does like him, perhaps a lot. The man is a nasty piece of work who slips into cocky assholery way too easily for my tastes, but I also think that he's kind of put in that role and so goes with it. He did try to be cordial with Sand this ep - kind of insane when you think about the fact that Sand hates him, Top knows Sand hates him, and he also knows why - but he didn't switch to assholery until he took his cue from Sand. Same when he ran into Sand with his car - he was sorry and worried but then Sand wouldn't follow that script so he followed. He does the same thing with Boston when they interact.

I think he enjoys being with Mew because Mew lets him be the best version of himself. But of course the asshole is still there underneath, he can't run from it, so it all falls apart around his ears. I do think he holds genuine affection for Mew, but what does that matter when he's screwed over so many people in the past? I think he also likes the novelty of doing love and sex Mew's way, but I also believe that he'll only play the penitent for so long before he loses patience. I'm curious to see if I'm right, and how things will go if so.

Chuem. Every time this woman opened her mouth it was to be a dick. Like, damn. I knew she wasn't some sweet angel but I get the impression the only one of her friends she really likes is Mew. Curious why, because she seemed to at least like Ray well enough two years ago. At the very least Mew is the only one that she's not casually cruel to.

Nick. Babe. You're pretty but I'm gonna need you to do something okay? Yes, even if your revenge hits Sand at least it'll hit SOMEONE. Because right now you're just a succession of "oh shit" faces and I need more.

Relationships (Most to Least Fave atm)

TopMew. Yep. They finally got really interesting and beat out BostonNick. I am so curious what Mew is gonna do to Top. I already said that my top guess is making Top work for it, making him think he's forgiven him...and then fucking Ray and making sure he finds out about it. This suspicion will turn into a certainty if he finds out that Top fucked Boston because he thought there something happened with him and Ray.

Nick and Sand. I want them to hash it out and make up. I said I'd be okay if Nick's revenge hit Sand but I really won't be haha, I want them to end the show still friends. They are usually really good at talking to each other so I have some hope. Don't let these men you probably won't even know anymore in a year screw up a friendship that might actually last beyond college, guys. Also you should make out.

Sand and Top and the ex. The way I am being teased about this is not nice. GIMME. I want answers, don't care how I want them now. Make it messy please. Please please please please please I want the ex to show up like a wrecking ball and for Sand to utterly lose all his shit over it.

BostonNick. Still think these two deserve each other. Am READY for Boston to put two and two together and get Nick fucking bugged his car, though. And maybe he can get Nick to play the recording from him since at this point he and Chuem are the only two who haven't heard it. I am curious to see what if anything Nick does when it all falls apart. I kind of want him to ascend to unhinged lengths as yet unseen.

SandRay. I guess the mask is off now (even though I kinda think it was always off, lol). I do not ship this. They are bad for each other and Ray especially needs to just not be anywhere near a romantic relationship, but especially not with Sand who has a serious caretaking complex that is going to foster some really nasty codependence, as well as a far too patient streak which will only encourage Ray to keep lashing out at him whenever he wants (yes this ep he did what he did but I cannot stress enough that it wasn't really about Ray. Oh, he took his shots but at it's heart this was all about getting at Top. Top is a special case for Sand, he's a dude who riles him up just by existing. Ray might get there eventually but currently he's nowhere near on Top's level for Sand, he'll put up with perhaps a LOT more before he finally gets to that point).

Every week I worry that Sand is gonna enter his doormat era, and every week they've neatly dodged it happening. But oh, we still have six weeks to go and the worst fight is yet to come so that worry ain't fading anytime soon.

As I've said, mutual destruction is more fun for me so this ep wasn't half bad on that front. If things stay in this vein I might actually work around to enjoying it as a disaster ship.

In Conclusion

I'm gonna need everyone to stop it with the slut shaming, please. Boston's an ass, but he's not an ass because he likes to sleep around and I'm kind of tired of the conflation of the two.

#only friends #only friends the series #rankings

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hitemwiththeoop · 1 year

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see, i think this all summarizes as the toxicity of the fandom pushing the creativity of the authors.

it's no secret that the TLOK backlash was loud & insane and it's still is. you'll still find people trashtalking the show and talking about how better ATLA was compared to it. i feel like this has marked the creative decisions taken by bryke lately, especially when it comes to the azula redemption arc situation.

the movies also have a part in it. i mean, to have a movie especially dedicated to zuko, ATLA's fandom favorite character, says a lot, but not only that. the special focus given to kyoshi in comparison to the other avatars because of the impact she had in the fandom can be easily noticed.

my point? the creators are doing what they can to keep the fanbase pleased and i fear this is going to lead the show to a hellhole

let's begin with:

we all know how much the fandom has wanted an azula redemption arc ever since the original series' finale. we've seen it everywhere: on tumblr, on twitter, on instagram, on fanfics, you name it. it's been so much so that some have argued that the only reason the creators didn't redeem azula was because they didn't like her. aaron ehasz even said that he intended to have her have a redemption "longer and far complicated than zuko's". yet the creators never fully confirmed it, only saying it was possible she could heal in the future.

the comics give us but little hints at azula trying to become better, and in fact, it seems her mental state only worsened in the course of them. many fans have criticized the comics for their writing and characterization of the characters (when it comes to my opinion, azula's was on point).

yet when you think of it, with barely hints of it, you wouldn't see that a redemption arc for azula was ever the original intention. it wasn't ever implied in the first comics nor in TLOK, and in fact it seems it was only recently that it was incorporated. ehasz revelation of wanting to give azula a redemption arc was coincidentally brought up when the series' popularity re-spiked after years of being on the low, as it was made availaible on netflix during the pandemic.

a discussion was brought up about the representation of physicological damage and mental issues through azula's character, and realizing how much her upbringing had molded her way of being, fans began claiming she deserved a redemption arc like zuko did using her age and vulnerability as an argument. this has sparked much debate, but we ought to recognize that prior to these years, this analysis of azula wasn't visibilized the way it has now.

one has to wonder, if the series' fame hadn't resurged, would've the creators felt compelled to make a redemption arc for azula?

i've mixed feelings about this comic. it came out during the time the kyoshi's novels began becoming popular, and it feels like it was made as a move to give the fans what they'd been wanting: seeing more of kyoshi in official media. putting aside how wild it is that avatar kyoshi somehow appeared in front of suki (she could've been imagining for all we know), it does seem strange that we didn't get any more about her before in the prior comics when the chance had been given. instead, we saw a bit of roku and yangchen in the promise and the rift trilogies (and nothing of kuruk, smh).

that and that kyoshi's too going to get her own movie feels a little odd to me. she's really become the breakout character, and though i'm glad she's receiving the attention she deserves, i feel it takes away the importance other characters have in the plot and that i wish were explored also. true, we've got the dawn of yangchen now, yet i know it's not going to get nearly as much recognition as the kyoshi novels.

then, there's the new earth kingdom avatar series.

given the show's newfound popularity is no wonder avatar studios has decided to launch new media, yet, why develop another show when there's already so much to explore about the two series? it feels it's because they think no one will want to see more about korra because of all the backlash it received. it has only been recently that TLOK has found more acceptance among the fans (and more comics have been coming out because of it). yes, there's an upcoming movie about her, but the fact that it's been placed after the adult gaang movie and zuko's, one thinks it'll be the most delayed.

i'm all for avatar getting new media out and exploring the universe we didn't have a chance to see all of in the original series, but im afraid that launching all this stuff to please the fans will end up being detrimental. the games, the comics, the movies... theyre getting out all this new content as fast as they can as if theyre trying to take advantage of the popularity they've regained before it goes out, and to avoid it doing so, theyre trying to do what the fans want them to. that of course implies many things in the plot will be made so that its liked by the fans and no independent thought goes into them. that limits the creative capacity of the writers and all of those who will work at avatar studios.

honestly i REALLY hope this doesnt end badly thats all.

#azula in the spirit temple #azula redemption arc #avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of korra #avatar the rise of kyoshi #avatar the shadow of kyoshi #aang #korra #avatar studios

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swaps55 · 2 years

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Kicking this your way because I've been pondering it lately and would love to see your take... Thoughts on how to create gripping, compelling openings for stories or chapters, that do not utilize any form of in media res? ;)

What a FUN question!!! Thank you!

I spend an agonizing amount of time on opening lines and opening paragraphs for chapters and stories. The hook is so critical to getting a reader’s attention, and for me to write the dang thing, a solid opening line programs my brain and points it in the right direction. I am aimless and lost if I don’t have an opening to work with that feels good.

It’s great if I can do this with a snappy opening line – a single sentence that packs a hell of a punch. I just wrote one for an AU idea I tripped and fell first face into the other day; I’m gonna put it here, and cross my fingers that people who see it go, “WHAT,” and immediately want to know more:

Maybe, Kaidan thinks, as he looks down at the blood stain spreading across the belly of his uniform, then back up at the gun in Udina’s hand, maybe we were never going to win.

But this is more in medias res, which isn’t what you’re asking about, and it’s also not always easy to find that one snappy sentence to start a story, nor is it always the right choice. You can’t always start with a shot of adrenaline, or some Earth-shattering revelation.

So my tried and true for opening a chapter is immersion and scene setting. Sometimes the hook isn’t about what’s happening. Sometimes the hook is about grabbing the reader’s feet and planting them in the scene. I like to try and give the reader as much information as I can, as organically as I can, right off the bat, so they know where they are, whose POV they’re in, and what the mood or tone of the story is.

I do this in a lot of ways:

Focus on sensory information. Take their reality away and substitute my own, right off the bat:

The oscillating lights over the casino dance floor are a bit much, but between the music and the formalwear and Shepard on his arm, this infiltration mission almost feels like…a date.

Instead of describe the casino in boring, scene-setting details no one cares about, I went for the lights and the music and the dance floor to not just tell you where you are, but help you experience it.

Set the mood:

Kaidan shifts his posture to keep the edge of one of the crew lockers from digging into his back. His knees ache from sitting still for so long, but instead of getting up he stares across the cargo bay to what’s left of the Mako suspended in her struts.

My goal here was to evoke a feeling: Kaidan got some horrible news in at the beginning of the scene, but rather than start with that, I wanted to ramp into it by making the reader feel his discomfort. So I focused on the dig in his back, the ache in his knees: it tells you he’s been sitting there for a long time, probably by himself, staring at a broken Mako. Things are Not Right, and you have to read on to find out what and why. The hope is that you’ve bought into Kaidan’s discomfort enough that you care to know what’s bothering him.

Focus on the characters:

The griping starts before they even get to the Myeongnyang’s airlock.

“Why do they have to make a big deal out of it?” Shepard mutters, fussing with the cuff of his dress uniform. He’s been trying to button the sleeve for the last ten minutes. They’re about to pin an N7 emblem to his chest, and yet he can’t walk and manage a button at the same time.

This opening tells you something about Shepard in the first few lines, while also packing in some details about what’s going on and what the mood is. The hook here isn’t just Shepard himself, it’s how the POV character (Kaidan) views Shepard.

Open with dialogue

I rarely open with dialogue. To me, starting with dialogue gives the reader a disembodied voice. It doesn’t root them in the scene the way I like to do. Does that mean there isn’t a time and place for it? Of course not – all rules are made to be broken. But this is a rule I think really hard about breaking before I break it. But I do break it sometimes:

“So,” Shepard says, surveying the lake with a critical eye. “You have a lake.”

“My parents have a lake,” Kaidan corrects, while trying not to stare at the way Shepard’s swim trunks sit on his hips. “It came with the land.”

I felt like this one worked, because it cheats a little. Technically it starts with dialogue, but it still establishes the scene, the POV character, and the tone right off the bat. Also, this particular story was batshit insane, so breaking the 'rules' felt fitting. XD

Every story is different and has different needs, but the common thread in all of these, and what I continually strive to achieve, is to not just set the story for the reader, but to do it through the POV character. I don’t want to spoon feed readers plot and setting details. I want you to experience them through the eyes of the POV character. What are they seeing, thinking, feeling in that opening moment, and how can I shape that into something that gives the reader a compelling foothold into the story? Sometimes it's a big picture thing, sometimes it's the opposite.

Sometimes you hook a reader by selling them on something gripping and exciting, but other times, you can hook someone just by crafting something simple and small that effectively puts the reader somewhere else. We all read to escape, right? And as readers, we want to know that we can trust the writer to give us that escape. So use those first few lines to prove that you are worthy of their trust.

#how how writing is written #naturally when i started looking at some of my opening lines #i thought all of them were poor examples of all the things i try to accomplish #whatcha gonna do

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skdubbs · 3 years

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Dancing Child

A/N: While I am dealing with a lot of family medical stress, I humbly give this random story. I've had this in a notebook for a few years and felt compelled to post it. I hope to get back to other stories in the near future. Ambition to create new work has been hard to find while coping with my family’s current situation. And before anyone asks, the content of this story isn’t my current mindset. I've just always loved this random one-shot I wrote one day at work and it seems fitting to finally post it.

Pairing: Maito Gai x OFC

Warnings: Fluff, declarations of love, angst. Serious discussion about past contemplation of suicide, please tread carefully.

She wasn't surprised when she found him in the jounin lounge. Nor was she surprised to see him surrounded by his former teammates and other comrades. A brief cursory glance showed that the room was unusually filled for that day. Even his eternal rival, Kakashi Hatake, was slouched on a couch, reading one of his Icha Icha novels.

The kunoichi internally shuddered. She had finally come to a decision on how to proceed and, of course, practically everyone of his generation and hers had to be present for it.

I could always wait until he’s off training by himself….Maiko mentally shook herself. No, she would do this now, or else she never would.

With renewed purpose, the eighteen year old strode into the lounge. A few heads noticeably turned to see who had come in, while she knew the rest marked her entrance as well. You didn’t become a jounin without knowing how to check your surroundings unnoticed. Maiko ignored them all, her focus on the small group of male jounin standing off to the side near one of the walls.

They noticed her approach and all smiled in their own way in greeting. However, his was the brightest, as usual.

“Maiko-chan!” he greeted with youthful enthusiasm. “And how are you faring this fine and most glorious of mornings?”

The young woman stood in front of him, staring at the face she never would have thought capable of putting her mind through so much turmoil and unrest. She could feel how the others became confused and started to tense at her prolonged silence.

Maiko closed her eyes and sighed. “Right,” she mumbled. There was no better time than now. Opening her eyes, Maiko braced herself, then acted. What happened next was not what anyone had been expecting.

Maiko abruptly grabbed hold of Maito Gai’s shirt and pulled him down, meeting his surprised face in an unexpected kiss. The resounding shock from everyone was palatable.

Gai froze. Genma dropped his senbon. Ebisu and Raidou’s jaws dropped, eyes bugging out. The other jounin assembled weren’t any better. Asuma Saratobi dropped his habitual cigarette. Morino Ibikki spit out his tea, as did several others. Anko walked into a wall. And Kakashi….the bastard had the nerve to sigh and quietly exclaim to the room at large, “Finally!”

After a few seconds, Maiko let Gai go and stepped back. The Green Beast of Konoha had a frozen look of shock on his face, his black eyes fixed on her, yet unseeing. The rest of the room was utterly silent.

However, Maiko didn’t pay the stunned crowd any mind. Her attention was focused on the warmth that suddenly filled her. It wasn’t embarrassment. On the contrary, it was something quite wonderful. The sensation made Maiko feel as if she were glowing from the inside out. And for the first time in a long while she truly felt herself. The kunoichi broke into a small smile, her eyes softening. “Well, that answers that question.”

Then, without waiting for anyone to respond, walked back out the door, a smile still on her face and feeling extraordinarily pleased with herself.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

“What…..just happened?” Raidou managed to sputter out.

Genma glanced at a still frozen-in-shock Gai. “I think Yashida-san broke Gai.”

“Bu-but why?” Ebisu asked. “Why would someone like Yashida-san want to….”

As Ebisu trailed off, everyone turned to look at the object of Maiko’s apparent affections.

“Mah, for shinobi, you all really are blind,” Kakashi remarked, bringing his book down just enough to reveal his one visible eye and a mocking smile. “Yashida-san has had romantic feelings for Gai for several months now. I was starting to wonder if I’d have to shove her into him before she’d decide to act.”

All heads turned to Kakashi, dumbfounded. Kakashi merely raised an eyebrow, then went back to reading.

“Alright, but how did you notice?” Genma demanded to know, his senbon finally back in place. The others in the room silently wondered the same thing.

Kakashi lowered his book once more and looked at all those gathered as if they were extremely dense. “Because she only smiles when Gai is around.”

Genma rolled his eyes, as did a few others. “That’s not a real reason. Yashida-san smiles around everyone.”

Kakashi stared at Genma, then sighed and finally put his book away. “Then she’s managed to fool you all,” he declared. “Allow me to rephrase. Yashida-san only genuinely smiles when Gai is around. She’s putting on an act for the rest of us. A rather convincing one it would seem.”

When Genma made to comment again, Raidou stopped him. “Think about it,” the scarred shinobi said. “Why else would Yashida-san regularly join Gai for training? Or spend any extra time with him than she’d have to outside of training or missions? They go to lunch together nearly everyday.”

Now that they thought about it, Maiko did spend an awful lot of time with Gai. In fact, she probably spent more time with the green jumpsuit clad shinobi than anyone else in this room. Genma, Raidou, Ebisu, and many others started to feel rather idiotic to have missed something so obvious. But really, why would they have ever thought differently? No one honestly thought a woman would be capable of coping with Gai’s…..enthusiasm. His former teammates appreciated him as a good and loyal friend, the kind of person who had the back of all his fellow Konoha shinobi. But Gai’s personality and eccentric ways made it hard for most to spend more than a small amount of time with the man.

“With all the time Yashida-san has been spending with our dear friend, I’ve hardly had to accept any challenges,” Kakashi quipped. “So, now the only question is, what’s Gai going to do about all this?”

Everyone looked at Konoha’s Green Beast. Yup, still frozen in place, his face holding the same surprise he had since Maiko kissed him.

Ebisu poked Gai’s shoulder. “Gai-san?” There was no response. Ebisu pushed up his sunglasses in irritation. “He can’t possibly be that shocked. Surely he must have noticed something.”

Genma, Raidou, and Ebisu paused for a moment, realizing who they were talking about. They all grimaced. Then again, Gai was usually looking out for others more than himself. He likely mistook Maiko’s friendship for just that and her desire to train with him as a means to better her skills.

Genma scrubbed a hand down his face in frustration. “Alright, do we need a med-nin in here or does anyone else have any ideas on how to--”

Suddenly, Anko rushed past the three shinobi and punched Gai straight in the face, sending him hurtling into the opposite wall. He crashed into it, then fell over. However, the stunned man still didn’t react. Gai merely lay on the floor in a crumpled heap, his face remaining unchanged from its frozen expression.

Some looked at Anko in disbelief while others simply shook their heads.

“Huh,” the prickly kunoichi muttered. “You’d think that would have worked. What did Yashida-san do? Put a genjutsu on him?”

“Maa, he’s just shell shocked is all,” Kakashi replied. “The copy nin stood up and walked over to Gai’s prone form. After a moment of contemplation, he squatted down and flicked Gai in the forehead. Unlike Ebisu and Anko’s attempts, Kakashi allowed a spark of chakra to flow into the movement. “Gai, get up.”

With that, Gai finally came to. He blinked a couple times as if waking from a daze. Then suddenly, the overly exuberant shinobi flipped to his feet and charged out the door, leaving everyone staring after him.

Kakashi rose, dusted off his pants, then went back to the couch to continue reading. He pointedly ignored the others.

“Huh,” Genma remarked.

No one said anything, because all of the jounin in the lounge realized there really wasn’t anything else that could be said.

XxXxXxXxX

Gai ran all over Konoha in search of Maiko. His mind was still reeling from what had happened, his youthful spirit soaring high with elation. She had kissed him. His precious Maiko-hime had kissed him! And she didn’t do it in a secluded spot, where privacy would have hid her affections. No, Maiko kissed him in front of his former teammates, his Eternal Rival, and so many more of their jounin comrades.

The happiness Gai felt continued to fill his heart to the point of bursting. He had not dared to hope his precious cherry blossom could ever reciprocate his guarded feelings. Honestly, how could he not love her? Maiko was such a fierce, compassionate, and hard working woman. Truly, one of the most beautiful creatures to ever grace the world. The fact she could possibly feel the same….

Gai had to hear her declaration, to know for certain where she stood. He only hoped to find her before the day was gone.

So, what spot for such a momentous day would make sense? Knowing Maiko as he did, Gai knew it had to have some sort of significance. It would have to be a place that held meaning to them if she meant to wait for him to--

The sudden revelation had Gai putting on the breaks and coming to an abrupt halt. Could it be that simple? Konoha’s Green Beast turned toward the carved faces of the hokages. Maiko once said she considered the monument the birthplace of their friendship. Perhaps…..

Gai took off again, this time heading straight for Hokage Rock. The more time he spent running toward the mountain, the more certain Gai became in his deduction. This is where he would find her. Hei ran up the rock’s side, leaping and flipping among the faces of the former hokages until he landed on solid ground at the top. Bracing himself, Gai looked around.

And there she was. His beautiful Maiko-hime, sitting cross-legged near the edge while she looked over the vastness of Konohagakure. Her black hair was loose, free from its habitual braid as it blew with abandon along the breeze. The very sight of this unassuming and humble creature never ceased to mesmerize him. Truly, the very presence of Maiko was all it took to ignite Gai’s youthful spirit. She was a kunoichi he would always be proud to fight alongside, a friend to protect, and with any luck--

“I wondered how long it’d take you to find me,” Maiko remarked, her voice quiet as it often was when they were alone. There were no pretenses to uphold. She was not the She-Wolf of Konoha in this moment, but simply Maiko. The blue-eyed kunoichi turned her head to meet Gai’s gaze. Then, she smiled, as she only ever did for him. “I must admit, a part of me was starting to worry you might have forgotten.”

“I could never forget anything you’ve ever told me, Maiko-chan,” Guy declared, although anyone who only knew the boisterous version of Maito Gai would be surprised at how softly he spoke. “But I am ashamed at how long it took me to realize where you would wait. It’s the only possible place really.” Gai knelt down, his head bowed as he raised a fist, his inner disgust at his own sluggish deduction making itself known. “As penance, I will complete whatever challenge you deem worthy of such a transgression!”

Maiko chuckled, shaking her head at his usual dramatics. A fond smile played at her lips. “Gai, it’s alright. I knew I probably left you a little befuddled back there, so don’t be too harsh on yourself. But,” Maiko’s face took a mischievous turn, “If you really feel you must make it up to me, you can sit with me and watch the sunset. Deal?”

Gai raised his head. Maiko continued to smile at him, waiting for his decision. An answering grin came forth. “Yosh!” he cried, giving her the expected thumbs up. Gai quickly moved, settling in beside his beautiful cherry blossom as she’d bid. They watched the sun begin its descent, as well as the village below their feet transition from day to night. A companionable silence reigned between them. And while a small measure of unresolved tension existed, Gai made no move to fix it. Maiko had made the first move. He would allow her to make the next one, despite all the burning emotions and questions he desperately wished to voice. Eventually, Gai’s patience was rewarded.

“I meant what I said, you know,” Maiko quietly remarked. “This is where our friendship started, at least for me, nearly two years ago.” She was silent for several moments, contemplating her next words. It was obvious whatever she wished to say was troubling her. “I never told, but I had planned for that to be the last sunrise I ever saw.”

Startled, Gai glanced at Maiko with some alarm. He had suspected something of that nature when he’d spotted the kunoichi at the time, but never voiced his concerns. It’d been a beautiful morning, the sun having just risen above the horizon. Gai had gotten an early start to train, as he always did. And on a whim he’d decided to take a path that led to the top of Hokage Rock, not his usual route. Or so he’d thought. He wasn’t sure anymore if fate hadn’t stepped in that day. The sight waiting for him on the mountain never left Gai. A kunoichi who looked dead on the outside, yet her heart still beat. Her lungs stil drew breath. Those beautiful blue eyes that sparkled for him now had been dull and lifeless. He’d hardly recognized the living wraith in front of him for the she-wolf he’d once fought alongside. “But you didn’t.”

Maiko’s smile took a self-deprecating turn. “No, I didn’t. Because of you, Gai.”

The shinobi’s eyes widened in surprise. What?

Maiko reached over and took hold of his hands, gently grasping them in her much smaller ones. “You don’t really realize what you did for me that day, attacking and challenging me out of the blue. I thought you were quite mad, to be honest. But you kept me distracted from those dark thoughts I couldn’t shake.” A shuddering breath escaped the kunoichi. “You know why, don’t you?”

Gai nodded, not needing her to elaborate. Maiko had been on medical leave for several weeks. It didn’t take much digging to find out why. A mission gone wrong had left deep mental scars. Sadly, collateral damage was sometimes a part of a shinobi’s life. Knowing that didn’t make the fact she’d killed a child any easier to bear. He couldn’t imagine the guilt she still carried. He gently squeezed her hands in comfort.

Maiko cleared her throat, suppressed emotion threatening to overcome her. “I still can’t quite believe you managed to beat me that day. And then you kept showing up, finding me no matter how hard I tried to avoid you and you kept winning. I honestly wasn’t sure in the early days if I hated you or not.” Maiko huffed a laugh, shaking her head. “Yet it gave me something else to focus on, a reason to keep going. I couldn’t leave without beating you, I kept telling myself. What kind of shinobi would I be if I admitted defeat?”

Another silence stretched between them. Gai waited, his focus solely on the woman bearing a secret part of herself to him for the first time. Slowly, Maiko continued, her attention sliding off to the side.

“What kind of shinobi would I be if I admitted defeat….it took me a while to realize that’s exactly what I’d been doing. I never would have realized that without you.” Finally, Maiko brought her gaze back to Gai’s, those blue orbs shining with unshed tears. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that you helped save me Gai. I know it started out with needing to beat you, but it morphed into something more. You made me realize I could still be happy no matter what happened before. Yes, there will be dark days, but I can overcome them.” A single tear slid down her cheek.

Gai reached a hand up, gently swiping it from her face. Maiko smiled, leaning her head into the caress. Gai’s breath stuttered.

“Whenever we fought, you made me happy. Eventually, just spending time with you made me happy.” A soft giggle escaped Maiko. “Even your endless declarations about the springtime of youth made me happy.”

Gai nodded, his gaze soft. “Yosh, the springtime of one’s youth must always be nurtured and embraced.”

Another giggle escaped, her own eyes softening. “I’ve found myself again, since that day. I remember what it means to be a shinobi, the good and the bad. And I know I want to keep on living, so I can protect those who are precious to me.” Taking a deep breath, Maiko continued. “I guess what I’m trying to say is….thank you, Gai. For helping me and for being my friend. I wouldn’t have made it without you.”

A small part of Gai’s elation deflated at her words of thanks. While it warmed his heart to know how much his friendship meant to her, Konoha’s Green Beast could not help the disappointment he felt. Her kiss was only gratitude for all he had done, nothing more. It seemed a rather strange way to him to express her thanks, but Gai was willing to accept the kiss for what it was. Such an act had meant so much to him and he would cherish the memory. However, his own dashed feelings aside, Gai would continue to be the friend Maiko needed. If he couldn’t be more than that, he would content himself with being someone precious to his Maiko-hime, in whatever way necessary.

“There is nothing to thank me for!” Gai declared, his usual white grin taking over. He pulled away from Maiko as he stood, striking one of his dramatic poses. “It warms my heart to know I could help chase away the darkness and bring light once more to the world of my most precious cherry blossom. The power of youth must never be diminished even in---”

Suddenly, Gai found himself cut off as Maiko pulled him down to her level and kissed him. The Green Beast’s mind went blank, his body frozen from this unexpected but exceedingly welcomed assault. His beautiful Maiko pulled back, although she didn’t release him. Her blue eyes danced with humor, that smile she only ever made for him spreading her lips wide. When Gai could only stutter in response, she giggled, a sound of pure joy.

“While normally I love your declarations Gai, you’re not letting me finish,”she teasingly reprimanded. “I’m trying to tell you that I love you, silly.”

She loves me? As he stared at Maiko’s face still dancing with amusement, Gai finally recognized the deep affection she held for him. The green clad shinobi’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets, a thousand watt smile overtaking his face. She loves me!

Without warning, Gai cupped her face, pulling Maiko to him and claiming her smiling lips in a fierce and passionate kiss. Gai poured everything he felt in that moment and the woman who held his heart responded in kind. By the time they broke apart both were out of breath. And grinning like a pair of deranged fools.

Gai kept his hands on her face, cupping it as his thumbs gently stroked her cheeks and allowing all the love he felt to pour out of his eyes. “My most precious Maiko,” Gai whispered, his emotions overrunning him. “You can’t imagine how much I hoped....just how happy you’ve made me. I feel as if the fountain of my youth is overflowing, that it will never run out with just those three words!”

She continued to grin at him, a few stray tears escaping again. The only difference was this time they were tears of joy. Gai could feel answering ones clouding his vision as he tried to blink them away. He didn’t want anything obscuring his sight.

“I love you, Yashida Maiko. The most beautiful woman the kami ever designed. From this day forth, I will endeavor to prove my love to you in any way I can.” At this, Gai took hold of Maiko’s hands and held them over his heart. “For from this moment until my last, my heart is yours.”

Unshed tears glossed over his love’s eyes, causing the last light of the setting sun to glint off of them in a spectacular way. Gai could hardly breathe. This unworldly creature loved him. She was his in as many ways as he was hers.

“And you have mine,” Maiko whispered. “From this moment until my last. Because you’re my light, Gai. You prove to me that even in the darkest of hours there is always hope for tomorrow.”

Gai understood and accepted. He was her reason for hoping, to look toward the future. Over time, Maiko had become something similar for him. They would be each other’s rock, the pillar of support even if the entire world were crashing down around them. “Are you sure that’s not just your own blossom of youth finally coming out?” He teased.

Maiko let out a short laugh, then fell victim to another, then another until she was gasping for air from the laughter that had overtaken her. The merriment of the moment claimed Gai as well, and within moments the two were holding each other as their sides shook, tears of joy ran freely, and their smiles grew so big it hurt.

It was then that Gai wondered if he could ever be happier than what he felt there upon Hokage Rock, the vanishing sun encasing them in the last of its colorful hue and Maiko wrapped up in his arms.

XxXxXxX

Apparently, as Gai soon learned, he could.

Two months later, Maito Gai and Yashida Maiko were married at the fire shrine. No one who had seen the kunoichi’s bold actions in the jounin lounge were surprised. It even came to light that the Third Hokage and Kakashi had kept a running bet going on how long it would take for the two shinobi to finally get together. Unfortunately for Kakashi, he found himself handing over 50 ryo. The copy nin made a promise to be more scrupulous in the future.

Then, barely nine months later, Maito Natsumi was born. Ahd she became the newest reason for her mother to continue finding joy in the world. Before even another two years passed, the little girl was joined by her sister, Harumi. By the time Gai was assigned a genin team, little Izumi had also come along. And their happiness was complete with the arrival of the youngest, Ayami.

Years later, after the Fourth Shinobi War, Madara’s defeat, and Gai’s retirement, Maiko would reflect on how happy and full of love her life had become. And in spite of everything, she had never feared the darkness again. Nor would she. After all, she had many brilliant beacons of light shining to guide her way.

#maito gai #naruto fanfic #maito gai x ofc #tw suicidal #fluff #angst #this hasn't been proofread #I don't really care at this point

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moon-forest-princess · 3 years

Text

An In-depth Elven perspective on Mind Power Subliminals (p2)

This is PART 2 of my post HERE. Please read that one first if you haven't!!

She goes on:

"...I am tired of people thinking this work is about subliminals. I do not give a s--t about the subliminal community or what they think of me. What I do is so far beyond this. That community is a pebble compared to the mountain I offer."

"I never even shared my magnum opus. The most powerful beautiful hybrid to exist. Affirmations are thousands of words long and the most beautiful affirmations ever written." "What kind of inspiration graces such a person? [...]They trashed me because they wanted an excuse to steal my work for their own. They wanted to tear me down so they could rise. They are not able to match my level of creation."

"I shall not ever make a subliminal again. This was a gift I was preparing to give. These humans showed me they did not deserve such a gift."

"You think you should be held at the same level as me? I am looking for generals, captains, and warriors. You first have prove yourself to me as soldier before you can be upgraded to a captain or general. I want to forge you to be among the most powerful in the cosmos."

"I won't give power away freely. I will test you and put you through the trials. You have to show me you are worthy. You want me to write a post to prove myself to you? It is you who needs to prove yourself to me! I have shown you who I am."

Hey, maybe I'm being a hypocrite for saying she can't gatekeep the Elven Path this way, while claiming she is not part of the Path herself... but it all comes down to one truth for me:

This is not Elven wisdom. This is not Elven love. All of what she said is just... arrogance--dare I say human arrogance--plain and simple.

And I am fairly certain she doesn't even identify as Elven herself, she is just speaking for us.

But it's bullying and arrogance under the guise of 'tough love'. As the old saying goes, you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar... and all of her posts and interactions with others just reek of vinegar. She was trying to vet her followers by being as offensive as possible, to find those who she could make the most promising of lemmings out of.

I am trying my best not to sit here and armchair diagnose her, but I will say this reminds me of a narc's rage fit. The temper tantrum they throw when no one wants to take the bait and follow them into their highly decorated cave. We are all foolish idiots and ungrateful peons who are ~ jUsT jEaLoUs ~ for not accepting their bait gift.

The very phrase "I won't give power away freely" goes against the nature of the Elven Light Path. It is not a lineage of power passed down from a great Elven leader to their followers. It is a journey unique to each who walk it. We are here to inspire others to find their power within themselves and Light inside of them. We are not able to "give away" any power of this sense because we are not the makers of our power, we are the wielders of it. And that goes for any human person on this earth, in this universe, no matter what your soul connects to. No one is above or below another. We all hold the same amount of power. It is simply a matter of claiming and wielding it. But NO ONE can give it away or grant it to someone else. We simply are to share our gifts and inspire others to do the same. It doesn't mean life will be all sunshine and rainbows, or to ignore the bad things that happen.. quite the contrary. It means we focus on the darkness to bring in the Light.

And we do this with the powers we can give away. The power to inspire and encourage and give hope. To heal. Or to warn and help others understand. These are the gifts we are given to give away, but these are not the powers she is talking about.

She talks about making soldiers or warriors out of her listeners/users quite a lot.

"Not all warriors are equal. Not all beings are equal in power. You have to work for what you become." "I am exactly what is needed to prepare us and get us through what is to come. I fight alongside my warriors. I lead the charge into enemy lines. You have yet to see the full power of my wrath."

Seeing herself as a the General and commander of it all, of course. But what she seems to fail to understand is that while yes, not all warriors ARE equal, that doesn't mean they have less power. It just means they hold a different type of power.

I am one who she would probably call a weakling. I am a novice Priest, and a Lunar Elven Soul. But I do not fight the way she fights. I am not hardhearted or determined for justice a way a solider on the frontlines might be. The way that she describes a soldier to be.

The real war is not with flesh and bone. It is not a physical war that can be fought with rage and wrath against people here and now. It is a war that takes place in the spiritual. The mental. The emotional. The psychological.

It requires wisdom, kindness, love, compassion, empathy, a humble spirit and a servant's heart. It requires the ability and strength to not allow human conditioning of pride and power to cloud your mind. It requires knowing when to speak and when to hold your tongue. It is more akin to a chess match, not a game of tag.

Yes, an army needs foot soldiers who can directly combat the real world forces here against us... but to deny and discount the true war in the spiritual is a real red flag.

Alright. I've been rambling for a while now and I think I've made my point. Mind Power is a woman who took the concept of the Elven Light Path, as if she was speaking "for the Elves" and was using it as a way to...well, control others. Or attempt to. So the claims of her trying to control people? Not so far fetched.

She does not speak for us as Elves, for the non-human bodied Elves, or those who walk the Elven Light Path. If you have been drawn to the path, but stepped away out of fear because of her, I can assure you, that is not what this path, nor those who truly follow it are like. One can follow it alone, or walk it with friends. While we have shared experiences and are able to connect, the Elven Light Path is NOT a cult or exclusive club and should NEVER feel that way. If you are truly curious, I would suggest learning about it through the High Elven Wisdom and Love videos.

Anyway...

I am glad Asherah Aphrodite is far from the subliminal community and seems to stay out of the Elven Light community online as well (at least on Facebook and Youtube, from what I can see). Her Facebook group seems to still be up, and has a good number of members. I can only hope they realize the kind of person she is soon.

I know it's kind of old, stale news but I wanted to give my input because I wasn't around during the height of the drama surrounding her, and as someone familiar with both subliminals and the Elven Light Path, I felt compelled to give my perspective on it!

#mind power #mind power subliminals #subliminals #subliminal videos #subliminal community #elfkin #elvenkin #elven soul #elven awakening #elven light path #elven light #spriritual #spirituality #my ramblings

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lesbian-ed · 5 years

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How do you move on? I've been in love with this girl for years and I only recently realized we'd never truly be in a committed relationship and it broke my heart. I miss her and I think about her everyday. I joined Her and I've gone on a few dates, but nothing has stuck. I don't really want it to or expect it to, but it still sucks.. I'm completely emotionally unavailable. I feel like I could sleep around and feel nothing. I've never felt like that before. How can I move on?

First and foremost, Anon, I think we need to dispelthe notion that moving on and getting over a broken heart necessarilymean jumping on to the next woman in line. If, as you said yourself,you are emotionally unavailable, my experience is that trying to bewith someone else to break the spell won’t aid you in the least.

See, moving on isn’t about moving on to the nextgirl, but moving on with life, with ourselves. You shouldn’t be attempting toerase the mark this girl has left on you by inviting lots of other women into your bed because it won’t have any effect if youhaven’t done the proper ‘digesting'—it’s no use to strain your bodyto fit in with another while trying to mend your heart and change yourmind. There’s a whole process involved, one of letting go and‘enjoying’ one’s solitude.

I know 'enjoying’ might seem a bit inappropriate whencoupled with the word 'solitude’ in light of an unsuccessfulrelationship, but there are elements of enjoyment to be found inbeing alone once one has surpassed that initial moment of disbelief,hurt, possibly despair. There is nothing novel in recommendingsomeone time in dealing with issues of feeling, I’m sure, andthere’s a reason why people will tell you to wait and let timeflow, but what most fail to tell you is that you cannot sit idly bywhilst consumed by the thought of this one girl, the errors orproblems that led to this outcome, wishing things were different—onthe contrary, I think one must use this moment to assess things asrealistically as possible. If it didn’t work out, then it wasn’tmeant to be—otherwise, logically, it wouldn’t have broken, wouldit?

There is a difference between grieving what we thinkmight have been amazing and condemning ourselves to misery by believing that that was the one chance for happinesswe’d get in this life. The first is a feeling that comes and goes,for, even in the future, when we have left this wholly behind (and itwill happen if you let it, if you make it happen), we still do findourselves wondering 'well, what if?’ but we don’t lose sleepover it anymore; it’s casual, human curiosity. Whereas the second option can lead us to a statevery close to what you’re describing, in which we become somehow verydependent on the memory of what was and on the desire of what couldhave been (or should have been, in our minds), dependent onthe idea of the woman that does not want us back. And that is bad.

It’s common in the first weeks following a break-upor another kind of romantic disenchantment, but to suffer years ofthis, of being shackled to one person who is clearly not at allshackled back to us?

You ask, Anon, how to move on. One must allow time tosweep away the dust of our sadness—but, and many will not like mesaying this, one must also give oneself permission to move on; onemust, at some point, actively pursue the overcoming of our sentimentif time by itself won’t do the trick. And to do that does not mean topursue someone else—but, perhaps, to pursue ourselves.

Now, personally, I dislike psychology and I do notwish to present myself an expert on the matter (Sappho forbid!), butthese sorts of issues, of over-dependence on an ex-girlfriend, onwanting what didn’t come to pass or what has already ended (or neverbegun, depending on the case) always seem to me linked to issues ofconfidence and self-esteem, as if one found it hard or unfeasible toimagine oneself without that person in one’s life. But the truthgenerally is that the person in question is already out of ourlife and we have not yet accepted that reality. For fear, perhaps; ofnever being loved again, of never loving someone to thatdegree again, of never settling down and finding happiness in thearms of any other woman… Reasons abound.

But we tend to feed on a handful of illusions and allof these motives for fear are just that: illusions. Nobody losesvalue by not being corresponded in love; nobody ceases to beimportant because one person in the world suddenly thinksdifferently; nobody is doomed to sadness because we believe ourselvesunloved and/or unloving. I wager we put too much value upon others’perception of us, that we base too much of our happiness on otherpeople—wonderful people, sure, women who stand out in a crowd,otherwise we would not have loved them, but even so we should notforget ourselves to their benefit. We should have the courage to facelife as it is; to choose to move forwards, to leave behind that whichgives us nothing.

Someone might argue that to love a woman still,albeit she loves us not, might give us some strength here and there;that this ideal, romantic, self-sacrificing love is ‘inspiring’; thatit is the only force driving us onwards, that it compells us to make something outof ourselves so those cherished eyes will once again befall us… And I would be forced to respond that livingfor someone else, and especially to that degree, is no way of living.It shouldn’t be difficult to verify that these circumstances are farfrom healthy—and to cling to a love with so much potential for harmis masochistic to say the least. We build prisons out of our owndreams, sometimes, and pain from our joys. With all the romanticismwe tend to use in approaching relationships, it’s a fairly commontrap to fall into.

You might accuse me of being unromantic or unfeelingto speak of these things in this tone, but I assure you I know allabout seeing no way out, about being chained to someone I loved whowould not bat an eyelash towards me. We all have at least oneexperience with this kind of thing and we must find ways to breakfree from this conundrum.

I said earlier that moving on might have something todo with finding ourselves rather than someone else to replace thewoman we loved. That’s also got to do with self-esteem. Many will saythey are incapable and unwilling to love themselves because theybelieve the 'love yourself and others will love you’ line a fallacy;whether it is true or not is completely negligible, because you don’tneed to love yourself, just accept and, perhaps most of all,respect yourself.

Respect your faults and qualities, the time you needto get back up again. Get to know yourself a bit better, enact a bitof harmless selfishness (as in 'I want to see that film in theatresand so I shall, regardless of company’ rather than 'fuck mum and dad,I can spray paint my room and turn up the heavy metal to full volumeif I want to’, mind you), spend time with yourself.

That is, I think, the best and only way to trulyheal. Talk to yourself, listen to yourself. What do you like doing?What are your wants and needs? What are your dreams? What’s yourfavourite smell, food, colour, book, film? Maybe you enjoy walking orswimming or sculpting or meditating or writing. Immerse yourself inyourself. Amidst the chaos of contemporary life, despite thepressures of study or work or peers or family, take a few minutesoff to be with yourself. No, you will not find a void there—and ifyou do, who better to fill it with something nice than you?

You mentioned putting yourself out there, trying toget in touch with other women, but I think sometimes we need to getin touch with ourselves first. And not just when getting over abreak-up or something of the sort, but as much as possible.

It well may be that this is nothing but my own,hyper-individual view on the matter and that many people willdisagree, but, alas, I was the one to answer your question on thisblog today. These are methods by which I have risen again afteradversities of the heart. For we rise again always, Anon. We mustsometimes help ourselves to do it, occupy our hands and muscles andthoughts with something other than our perceived failures, dosomething with ourselves for ourselves rather than for others, wantto be better for ourselves rather than for a partner. In theend, there are few people we can rely on in life apart from thatperson we see in the mirror staring back at us every day.

To finish this (and spare you any more of myphilosophy of life), you will get through this, Anon. It might seemlike a dead end right now, it might seem like you will never leavethis spot of stagnation, but you will. You must want it, as well, ifjust a little bit; be courageous and shed this shell. Breathe. Letyourself be alone for a little while, let it sink in that it did notwork—and that you are not obliged to make anything with anyone elsework at the moment. Focus on you. Find what brings you pleasure anddo not insult your own intelligence and spirit by thinking only shegives you pleasure in life; it isn’t true, not for you, not foranyone. We are made for more than to serve as partners to others,adorable as they might prove to be. If you are currently unable toopen yourself up, then don’t. Don’t go looking for women you’re notyet ready nor willing to bring into your life. Take what you have atthe moment and make the best of it for the time being.

The pressure to find a new girlfriend might even dieout. And that’s a good thing, because we tend to find the mostfantastic and remarkable partners precisely when we aren’tlooking—when we’re ready to live a life with them ratherthan for them, if you know what I mean!

Be patient with yourself and listen to yourself. Bekind. Be to yourself what you’d like others to be. You’ll do just fine.

/Mod T

#Anonymous #break ups #heartbreak #moving on #answered asks #mod t

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tempinksailblog · 6 years

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"ive been through hell and come out singing." template whispers, staring into his eye sockets, his scalding glaze the furious- yet almost smug wrath of ten million stars. (ink and temp in that kingdom au with the dialogue "I've been through hell and come out singing" used somewhere or represented by the drabble)

Dance of Hell

Ink was made to host a ball tonight, an annual thing kings before him would do. While he saw the ball as useless, it wouldn't bother him at all if he really didn't have to attend. Since he did though, he decided to force someone else with him.

Template sat at one end of the ball because of this. He watched Dream teach Pale how to dance close by. Dream's family seemed to stick to themselves in a corner of the room compared to the main group of elegantly dressed dancers. In fact, they were even dressed more simple. The family of six occasionally switched who they were dancing with, Time even seeming happier as he laughed and danced away compared to when Ink explained him before, and Template wouldn't be surprised if it became a family of seven one day with how Pale has been so accepted.

While this family wasn't questionable since they were all well known, Pale made it be that way. Dream and him acted close, and Pale would refuse each young girl that wanted to dance with him. Template overheard his excuse as simply wanting to dance with just Dream. Pale definitely didn't exactly fit in to say the least.

Template could say that he didn't either, but for a different reason altogether. Ink had forced him to wear a dress, probably to look like some maiden for some purpose, but the reason why was still beyond Template. Whether it was to embarrass or shame him, or some other plan Ink had waiting, he didn't know. Either way, it felt like a tipping point for Template, annoyed by having to constantly deny mens' offer to dance with them. He didn't mind the dress really by itself, but all the strangers flocking to him self overwhelming, especially when they asked questions he didn't know or just couldn't answer.

Template was glad when Ink came over, he could bet he's turned down all males in here already. Either way, maybe he could ask to leave. He would prefer it, for some ment seemed to ask again an hour or so later.

"Are you having a good time?" Ink did his dumb grin, like this was all according to plan. Template almost scoffed at him, but restrained himself.

"No." Was all Template decided to respond with. Ink chuckled, before standing beside Template.

"I'm not enjoying it either." Ink announced, watching the crowd dance about. "I tend not to enjoy these sorts of things, nor the interaction with all these nobles." Template seemed a bit surprised at first.

"You say that as a higher rank." Ink seemed to get a laugh out of that one. Template just waited for a response.

"Right, yet I am just as much as a lie as them, though I'm only here for the people of this kingdom. The nobles just want to take over or have money, that's why they offer their daughters like property." Ink slowly seemed to grow serious, subtle enough for Template to not realize when. "That's why I wish to not bother with them, hypocrite or not."

"In some situations, that makes sense, I guess..." Template tried for a good response, but that's the best he could come up with at first. "They don't seem like the best people."

"Indeed, and nor am I." Ink chuckled softly, but then ge gave a grin like he found a way to push Template's buttons. "Did you know Error use to be a noble?" Template definitely stiffened up from that, taking a bit to shake his head. "Well, he was, but he went bankrupt and threw a fit. When he came up to me as a peasent begging for money, I turned him away. I knew he gambled, so since then he's sworn mutiny, and you see what that went to."

Template tried to not make it look like he was trying not to hold back his disgust or his discomfort, but watched as Ink grew a satisfactory smile. He knew he got what he wanted, but said no more on it. Instead he just moved in front of Template and offered a hand.

"Care to dance?" Ink asked, his smile softer than before. Template hesitated for a bit, but took his hand after a moment. Ink soon had led him to the area where everyone else was dancing, managing to be in the middle of it all.

They slowly start to dance, Template growing more and more awkward. It felt like all eyes were on them, and was proven true when he looked around. Maybe it was worse to dance with the king. If he danced wrong or stepped on Ink's foot, would he be shunned? At the same time, did he really care? These nobles may only see him twice at most, right?

He just focused on Ink, who smiled at him. "I hope this isn't too much for you." Ink says, but no louder than a mumble. He had a formal tone this entire ball, making Template a bit angry with the mix of the tone and words as if he couldn't take this all alone, yet slightly nervous as well.

"I've been through hell and come out singing." Template whispers, staring into the other's eye sockets. His scalding gaze is furious, almost the triumphant wrath of ten million stars. Ink finds it almost compelling, to see how that rebellious spirit from his little 'kingdom' still shines bright within him, only restrained by its vessel. After all that Ink has tested him with, the skeleton still finds it's way to intrigue him, and annoy him. The deity, his crown on his head, continues their dance with a small smile.

"Oh really?" Ink's grin showed a plan, one Template knew he wouldn't like it. Ink danced a bit more with Template, his smile not going away, before he decided to dip the unexpecting black skeleton in his arms and pull him into a kiss. Gasps sounded off through the crowd, while most continued dancing.

A lot of things felt drowned out by Template's thoughts though, which were filled with questions, embarrassment, and confusion. He could feel his cheekbones heating up, and stay that way even when Ink pulls away. He could even feel a slight residue of anger from earlier boiling a bit.

The king lifted Template up, or otherwise he would have never himself. Template saw Ink bow a bit in acknowledgment of the others, and then moves to leave while strolling holding the black skeleton's hand. Template allowed himself to be leg out of the ballroom, glad for it.

"Why did you do that...?" Template asks once they're out of the ballroom and into an empty hall. Ink smiled at him as he stopped their walk.

"To get nobles off my back. Me not wanting to be with anyone can be a double edged sword, but hopefully they take the bait and leave me be." Ink responds, now waiting on Tenplate, who slowly let the feeling of being used sink in. It was just a kiss, it didn't really matter in the end, did it? Then again, he might become a topic amount others, one he didn't sign up for as he's forced to he known. It's not like Template could struggle against the kiss either with eyes on them, and it would make him lose the game.

"I see..." Template mumbled and continued to allow himself to he led away and back to their room. When he basically signed up for this, he didn't really think it would go this far.

"You can at least get dressed into something else back in the room." Ink mumbles to him, looking over. Template nodded slowly, but didn't really care to so so since he mostly wanted to just lay down, and that's what he did.

Ink chuckled softly as he glanced over, before heading out of the room. It seemed on cue for Time to storm over. The king just grinned seriously at his advisor.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Time yells, glaring down Ink. The king's grin grew as he chuckled.

"Just getting nobles off me and that was my plan." Ink answers, making Time look more angry and digusted with him.

"And how far are you going to go with this plan?!" He scowled, but it didn't seem to take much effect on Ink.

"As far as I need to go. Another lie won't matter." The king states calmly and begins to walk away.

"The more lies you pile onto your tower the more it has a chance to fall!" Time yells after him, but Ink was already heading out of sight.

~ ~ ~

A a a a a!! Done!! Finally!! This is the last prompt I have, so ill work on a part to another project of mine before I write any prompts sent after this! I might have a few more kingdom ideas too!

~Mod Taco

#mod taco #ink sans #template sans #dream sans #pale sans #time gaster #tacowrites #kingdom au #ask prompt #anonymous

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ionlyknow1truth-blog · 7 years

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Snoke, the real villain of the trilogy and Kylo, his victim lackey

The purpose of this post is as stated in the title. It is not meant to justify Kylo's actions, it is meant to delve deeper into some of the Why's of his actions (there are many). With that out of the way let's dive in.

When I first read The Force Awakens by Alan Dean Foster a lot of important key moments stood out to me that I had either missed in the movie, or that had been cut from the movie altogether. I say 'key' moments because they go much deeper than what is seen on the surface, and the actions of each person makes much more sense when viewed in the light of this. One of these scenes is the very first time we see Kylo and Snoke convening together in the creepy meeting room. They are still hunting for the droid which got away, and Hux has just been reprimanded by Snoke. And then we have this,

'When next Snoke spoke there was an intimacy in his voice, a familiarity that stood in sharp contrast to the commanding tone he used with Hux.

"I've never had a student with such promise - before you."

Ren straightened. "It is your teachings that make me strong, Supreme Leader."

Snoke demurred. "It is far more than that. It is from where you are from. What you are made of. The dark side - and the light. The finest sculptor cannot fashion a masterpiece from poor materials. He must have something pure, something strong, something unbreakable, with which to work. I have - you." He paused, reminiscing.'

This is called Love Bombing. It's what every successful cult leader uses to acquire and keep his followers. It's stroking the follower's ego, insisting they are doing good on their own, while at the same time subtly taking that statement back by insinuating that the follower would not be where they are now without said leader, or as Snoke puts it, 'the finest sculptor' i.e. himself.

His voice changes drastically once he's done with Hux, speaking to Kylo with intimacy, as though he truly cares for him. Notice that Kylo 'straightens' when Snoke compliments him. Kylo wants Snoke to be proud of him, while his immediate response is to give full credit to Snoke. He's been trained well. This is brainwashing 101 in progress.

Snoke is just getting warmed up with his repeated indoctrination, something that becomes clear, the more we observe Kylo, that has been pounded into him for quite some time. Pay close attention to what Snoke tells him, a mantra Kylo has had drilled into him time and time again,

"Kylo Ren, I watched the Galactic Empire rise, and then fall. The gullible prattle on about the triumph of truth and justice, of individualism and free will. As if such things were solid and real instead of simple subjective judgments...."

Snoke is not finished but I want to stop here for just a second to analyze what Snoke is saying. He lumps truth and justice with being gullible and subjective judgments. That's actually contrary to truth and justice. It's a blatant lie, but Kylo is blind to this. He also adds to these 'simple subjective judgments' individualism and free will, as though those things are dangerous and wrong. He's basically saying, 'follow me without question and you will not be a gullible simple fool like so many others.' This instills in a person that they are very lucky not to be like the average person, simple fools; that they are in turn uniquely special and therefore better than everyone else because they are one of the few who know the 'real truth'. It also frightens them into complete and unquestioned obedience. Who wants to be a gullible fool? This is actually some pretty heavy stuff going on here. And Snoke is not finished yet,

"...The historians have it all wrong. It was neither poor strategy nor ignorance that brought down the Empire. You know well what did."

Ren nodded once. "Sentiment."

"Yes. Such a simple thing. Such a foolish error of judgement. A momentary lapse in an otherwise exemplary life. Had Lord Vader not succumbed to emotion at the crucial moment -had the father killed the son - the empire would have prevailed. And there would be no threat of Skywalker's return today."

Now, I think we all know it was compassion that moved Luke to save his father and vise versa. That is actually what is stated in RoTJ. Compassion was the operating factor.

When Snoke prompts Kylo to tell him what it was that destroyed the Empire, Kylo automatically replies Sentiment. There are two things here I want to talk about. First, what Snoke just did is called 'conditioning'. Conditioning is training or accustoming (someone or something) to behave in a certain way or to accept certain circumstances. Kylo has done both. His response is an immediate programmed one. He's accepted these teachings and his circumstances, or at the very least he believes he has.

Notice how wily Snoke is: "Such a foolish error of judgement. A momentary lapse in an otherwise exemplary life." What he's really saying is, 'You are not foolish, you are an exemplary life, if you follow my teachings and not give in to sentiment.' This is extreme manipulation.

The second thing I want to talk about is compassion and sentiment. Here are some definitions from different dictionaries for the word sentiment:

•the tendency to be swayed by feelings rather than by reason.

•mawkish tenderness

(Mawkish: sentimental in a sickly or feeble way).

•a romantic or nostalgic feeling verging on sentimentality.

•a thought influenced by or proceeding from feeling or emotion.

•exaggerated and self-indulgent feelings of tenderness, sadness, or nostalgia.

And here are some definitions for compassion:

•a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

•pity inclining one to help or be merciful.

•sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it.

Wikipedia has this to say,

Sentiment 'is the literary device which is used to induce an emotional response disproportionate to the situation, and thus to substitute heightened and generally unthinking feeling for normal ethical and intellectual judgment.'

Compassion 'motivates people to go out of their way to help the physical, spiritual, or emotional pains of another and themselves. Compassion is often regarded as having sensitivity, an emotional aspect to suffering, though when based on cerebral notions such as fairness, justice, and interdependence, it may be considered rational in nature and its application understood as an activity based on sound judgment.'

See the differences between the two? Sentiment is equated with selfishness and often based off of nostalgia. It is acted upon with irrational thought, while compassion is genuinely caring and wanting to help another, with a rational mindset. BIG difference.

Luke had compassion for his father, not sentiment. He acted out of selflessness, and was ultimately willing to die because he did not want to harm or kill his father. It wasn't irrational thought that made him do this. It wasn't a wistful sentiment that caused him to confront his father. It was because he genuinely cared about him and he acted on that feeling knowing full well it could cost him. It was a rational decision. Luke was willing to forfeit himself if there was the slightest possibility his father could be saved. That's the opposite of selfish thoughtless emotion.

Nor was it sentiment that caused Vader to intervene on behalf of his son and save his life. In an amazing turn of events, we see Luke's compassion melting the hardened heart of a formidable villain who in turn gives his life up for his son. Luke was willing to lay his life down rather than destroy his father, and that act is what 'broke the curse' and compelled Vader to save his son. There was nothing self indulgent or feeble in either of their actions. Yet Snoke tells Kylo it was sentiment that caused Vader to fall, and the entire Empire fell because of that. He goes on in this same passage to tell Kylo that Han is on the Millennium Falcon with the droid, and it will be his greatest test ever. What he is saying to Kylo without having to actually say the words is this: 'If you kill your father you will not be foolish. The fate of the First Order rests on what you do concerning your father. Will you make the same mistake Vader did over simple and irrational and selfish emotions?' He primed Kylo for this 'test' with his dramatic and deceptive speech.

What is really ballsy is he puts the safety of the entire First Order on Kylo's shoulders!! Whaat?? With such a burden, is it any wonder he killed Han? He's been brainwashed to believe the First Order alone has everyone's best interests in mind, that they are right and lawful and good, while his father is a lying murdering thief. Yes, those are heavy statements I'm not going to get into here because that's a whole other topic. But it's what he's been programmed to believe. He is being told here that killing Han is not murder, it is right and necessary, and it is for the good of the First Order, and by extension the entire universe itself. We see then, why it is that Kylo falls. He listens to the wise leader, the One who 'knows what is best', and carries out the deed. Snoke is the modus operandi, and Kylo Ren is his victim lackey.

#tfa novelization #meta #Kylo ren and Snoke #Kylo Ren

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thinkaboutrunning · 3 years

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Things I can't run without

I know, running is supposed to be the most basic of all exercises, except maybe walking. We should be able to run without any additional gear, even without special clothing. And if we must do it that way, we certainly can. But, it's so much more fun and so much more pleasant when we arm ourselves with available gadgets and gizmos. I've tried many and kept only a few I can't run without, sort of. From run trackers to podcast players, here's what I use.

I started "au naturel" wearing my ancient sports shorts from high school (I was lucky they made them so stretchy that I could fit in) and sneakers I bought for walking. They were comfortable and felt great. Sneakers were already moulded by my feet. Those were simple, chafing and blister-free runs.

The more serious I became about it, though, the more I started reading online and offline about things advertised as "essential" to improve my running. To tell the truth, I was mostly interested in finding a way to measure the distance I ran. Those were the days just before GPS became omnipresent. Sometimes I drove the route I was going to run to measure the distance on the car's odometer; on one occasion I even talked a friend into following me in a car. He avoids me ever since.

I turned to the internet, bought a Nike+ pedometer, put it on my shoes and paired it with my iPod. It was inaccurate, for sure — for example a marathon I ran with it was measured as a 45 kms run, full 3 kms longer than actual distance — but it was ingenious when it comes to motivation and goal-setting. Now I could set the weekly, monthly and other goals in distance and time. And, it had a feature I miss ever since - a "Power Song". I could pre-program my own pick-me-up tune and then play it whenever I want or need it during the run by pressing and holding iPod's menu button.

If you promise not to laugh at my taste in music, I'll tell you the song that carried me through the heavy-legged final stages of quite a few marathons and half-marathons; it was Christina Aguilera's "Candyman". Other than catchy melody and cheerful vibe, it also had the perfect beat-per-minute rhythm to which I could match my stride and get some badly needed speed. When I evolved to more sophisticated distance trackers, I lost that Power Song feature and miss it ever since!

I already outed myself as the non-purist runner. (The purists being runners who don't listen to anything other than the sounds of their surroundings and their own breathing.) Yes, I run with headphones, and am not apologizing for it. Nowadays, my phone is my tracking device and a few "essential" apps keep track of my runs and make them more enjoyable. Before I bare my running soul and sole in front of you, I want you to know that I'm kind of an old geek. I like to experiment and try new things all the time, sometimes to my own detriment. One can't know if something's really good until he tries it, right? So, here are my running essentials.

A GPS-capable smartphone is a must. I have an old-ish iPhone 8 which still tracks my distance quite well.

Comfortable headphones. My ears are large — I know, I'm not proud of them and didn't ask for them, but there they are. Most of the earbuds and other fancy small earphones won't stay in my ears. They wiggle and slide out after a few running steps. So, I'm looking for headphones that hook in place in some way. Trust me, running with an earbud that needs to be tucked back in every few steps can ruin your mood run! The current ones I have is the simplest of simple sets of Panasonic wired sport headphones with plastic hook over the ear. What I look for in headphones? I want them light, with some sort of hooking solution either over ears or around the head. Waterproof, or at least water-resistant is preferable. Because, no amount of sweat or rain can stop us, right? Bluetooth wireless are great, but tend to be heavier due to the battery they need to function, which makes them fall outta my ears easier. Also, some bluetooth headphones have connection problems, even though my phone is in my waist-belt less than a meter down from my ears. Further, I prefer earphones which sit outside my ear canal, thus allowing me to hear the sound of my surroundings. It's always useful to hear the car approaching. I know it spoils the sound quality, but ask yourself do you really need a studio-quality sound while running on the road?

I've seen people running with fancy over-the-ear noise-cancelling headphones — I'd love me a pair of those for when I'm on an airplane, but there are two problems I have with them in running situation: they tend to be hot and make me sweat even more; they make me unaware of the traffic and things approaching me outside my field of vision.

My favourite run-tracking app is iSmoothrun. It has more data of my run than I really need, but hey — better too much than not enough, right? It tracks the mileage on my shoes, too. It has easily programmable intervals with great audio feedback. And it syncs with many running community and tracking sites, from Strava to RunKeeper and many in between.

Running community site I use is RunKeeper. It's neither better nor worse than the others. I have used it since 2010, all my running data since then is there and even though I tried Strava and many others, I haven't found a compelling reason to switch, yet. RunKeeper is owned by ASICS, which sort of guarantees they'll be around for a while. But really, it's the matter of preference. I can only suggest that, when you find the site that works for you, stick with it and keep all your data in one place.

One more essential app or site is a weather app. I'm currently running in Europe and use two weather mobile websites which, between them, give me the most accurate hourly forecast: Yahoo weather and Norwegian YR. In North America I trusted The Weather Network the most. Whichever app you choose, I suggest check if it offers the wind speed data per hour. Also "feels like" feature for temperature, whether it's the humidex factor (humidity index) or windchill (in the winter) is very helpful when you need to decide what to wear for the run. All the sites I mentioned above have it.

When it comes to on-run entertainment, there is your music app, whether it's the streaming one (Apple Music, Spotify) or just music playing one. I can't help you much with it, as I'm using Apple Music because it's pre-installed and all my music is there.

Then, there's a podcasts app. Podcasts are radio on demand on any topic you can think of and many you never thought of. They are great way to break the monotony of a long run. My "weapon" of choice is Overcast.

Finally, for the book-loving runners among us, there's an audiobooks app of your choice. On Apple's platforms Apple Books app (former iBooks) doubles as an e-book reader and an audiobook player. Personally, I'm a big reader, but find the audiobooks not affordable, especially at my reading pace of 3-5 books a month. I tried Audible too, it gives one book a month within the subscription, the rest costs extra. Too much for my pocket!

Then I found the solution! There's an iOS app (I'm certain there's something similar for Android too) called Epub Reader. It not only lets me read ebooks, but it also reads it to me. There is selections of voices to choose from and some of them sound almost human. When a book is so good I can't put it down for a run, I listen to it in the same app, while running. My version of the app takes only epub formatted ebooks, but there are plenty free online book conversion sites to help if your book is in a different format. You can try ToEpub, or just search for "free epub converter online".

There you go — these are the gizmos that made my runs enjoyable for years. What are yours? Also, if you have any question, just ask!

#running #gadgets #apps #tracker #fitness #tips #runner #gear #tech #headphones #earphones #advice

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