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catsandgoodbooks · 5 months

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So. Punz and George. They're both very much defined by their relationships with Dream, probably more than anyone else on the server. It's hard to talk about Punz without bringing up Dream, and it's hard to talk about George without referencing him either. They have lives, of course, but Dream is always at the forefront of their minds. Punz spent a whole year of their life just waiting for Dream's escape; George dreams away the days even after the jailbreak in a fantasy world of his imagination where everything is perfect and he can be with Dream.

But they don't really have a relationship. They don't talk, especially not about Dream, because that would show that they cared, and George is trying to deny that to himself after the dethronement and Punz cannot allow anyone to consider even for a moment that they are on Dream's side or it was all for nothing. So the relationship they do have, weak and distant as it is, is based on bitterness and perceived betrayals and envy.

George doesn't really think about Punz much. If he did, he'd had to think about Dream, and not his Dream, not the Dream that exists only in his dreams now, but the actual, real Dream. The Dream who dethroned him without a second glance. The Dream he abandoned. The Dream locked away in an obsidian prison, rotting away as George sleeps. And George doesn't want to think about Punz. Not when it pulls him out of his dreams and makes him think about Dream.

When he does think about Punz, though, he's not exactly a fan of them. They betrayed Dream; undeniably, inexcusably, they did. They had his trust, and they threw it away for a little extra bit of money. George would never do something like that. Dream left first, after all. Dethroned George first and told him he didn't care what happened to him. Dream never did that to Punz.

And that's important. Dream never turned against Punz; they were the one who chose to betray him. Dream never quite trusted George the same way he did with Punz, and, in the period leading up to the dethronement, he let George in on less and less of his plans, grew closer and closer to his mercenary. George told himself it was because Dream wanted to keep him safe. After the dethronement, he accepted the fact that Dream just didn't care about him anymore, and that it had been a sign of that.

George tells himself that if he had been in the situation as Punz, if Dream trusted him, he would of never done what they did.

Punz...doesn't have a great opinion of George, to tell the truth. They might of pretended to betray Dream, but George (and Sapnap, and everyone who was there and just watched it happen) is the one who actually did. George left. He left and didn't come back, didn't even show up for the arrest/execution (because that's what it really was, an execution, no use dancing around it). He didn't even go visit Dream in Pandora's Vault, even when he had every chance to, even when he didn't have a plan dictating that he absolutely could not do that. Not like Punz did.

Unreliable. Untrustworthy. Uncaring. Those are the nicest words for what George is, at least to Punz. Dream died, twice, and George was nowhere to be found. Just because Dream had been trying to keep him safe. To make sure people didn't try to target George to hurt Dream. And George just left, like that was an option in this game they were all playing, that none of them save Wilbur had chosen to play, like you could just throw up your hands and say "okay, that's it, I'm done" and leave with immunity, taking everything you've done with you. That wasn't how the world worked. And it didn't matter if George understood that or not, because it still hurt Dream, and that was what was important. Because what George did was a betrayal, and because they were already familiar enough with that to know how bitter it tasted. Because Punz had to constantly pretend and reap what they had sown and deal with this betrayal they had committed - not the one they were infamous for but the one in their heart and their brain and the way people looked at them and laughed with them and the way they had agreed to the plan and let Dream die and the sneaking suspicion they had, growing louder every day, that something had gone wrong and that they had to do something about it but that too would be a betrayal - but George didn't, just because he had been there earlier and knew some people longer. Because people trusted him more and he didn't have to prove how reliable he was and how much he hated Dream and all that.

And because George had Dream's love in a way Punz never could. Dream loved too freely, that much was true, but he flinches at every motion Punz that was a little too fast, a little too sudden, and makes sure to call everything a business arrangement, makes sure they're mercenary and client, makes sure to suppress any little trace of attachment that could get either of them hurt. And, even now, even after George has gone and left, Dream still loves George; Punz isn't too blind to reality to miss it. And they had kinder days together, back before everything went wrong; there were no kinder days for Punz, and there never had been.

Despite everything, they're two sides of the same coin: wishing for something that is no longer reachable, no longer possible, because things have changed and because people have changed. Because Dream has changed, partially due to the decisions they made, and there isn't anything they can do to go back to how it was. Not truly.

And neither of them really care about anything or anyone else. They're not here to fight for ideals or morals, they just want to keep the people they love safe and away from the people who would want to hurt them. They are willing to kill for it, but, because of who Dream is, and because that would put them in danger, they can't. They're not allowed to, explicitly in Punz's case, implicitly by Dream pushing George away. Because Dream wants to keep the people he cares about safe, and that can't happen if it looks like he cares about them or vice versa.

(It's only okay if Dream's the one getting hurt, after all)

#punz was raised in the middle of a warzone and became a mercenary in order to survive and get the hell out of #there #back on my bullshit #yes yes i will talk about sapnap (in conjunction with punz) someday #right now it's george time #ranty rant rant #sorry if i got stuff wrong i am so tired right now and finals are coming up #also just me inserting my headcanon #just cause #dsmp #c!george #c!punz #c!dream #dnf #drunz #who would have guessed it #my writing #long post

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rongzhi · 2 years

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Any good Chinese LGBT drama/ movie recommendations? And where to watch it?

Hmmm I thought I would have a lengthy list of recommendations but limited to just Chinese-language films/dramas, and ones that I would actually recommend, I realise that my list is a lot shorter 😅.

These are pretty much all going to be gay (mlm). Sorry for the lack of diversity 😔. Summaries are taken from Letterboxd for the most part.

Film Recs

(in chronological order)

霸王别姬 || Farewell My Concubine (1993) - China (mainland), Hong Kong - dir. Chen Kaige

Personal rating: 4/5 || [HQ link, EN subs]

Abandoned by his prostitute mother in 1920, Douzi was raised by a theater troupe. There he meets Shitou and over the following years the two develop an act entitled “Farewell My Concubine” that brings them fame and fortune. When Shitou marries Juxian, Douzi becomes jealous, the beginnings of the acting duo’s explosive breakup and tragic fall take root.

东宫西宫 || East Palace, West Palace (1996) - China (mainland) - dir. Zhang Yuan

Personal rating: 4/5

A heterosexual Beijing policeman and a young homosexual challenge each other’s sexuality.

春光乍洩 || Happy Together (1997) - Hong Kong - dir. Wong Kar-wai

Personal rating: 4/5 || [link, EN subs]

A couple take a trip to Argentina in search of a new beginning, but instead find themselves drifting ever further apart.

自梳 || Intimates (1997) - Hong Kong - dir. Jacob Cheung

Personal rating: 4/5 || [link, ZH subs]

Set in Hong Kong and China in the early 1900s, an older Wan and Wai travel through China in search of Foon, Wan's true love. Wai, whose on-and-off status with her boyfriend leads her into a struggle with self-identity, slowly learns about the life of the aging Wan. Through flashbacks, we learn about Wan in her early days and Foon, who move in and out of each other's lives.

美少年之恋 || Bishonen (1998) - Hong Kong - dir. Yonfan

Personal rating: 3/5 ~ 3.5/5 (I flipflop on this lol)

Jet is a gay hustler who one night spots a young man walking with a woman, and falls for him instantly. He does some research, and discovers that the man is called Sam, and is an apparently straight policeman.

蓝宇 || Lan Yu (2001) - China (mainland) - dir. Stanley Kwan

Personal rating: 5/5 || [HQ Link EN subs] [HQ link, ZH subs] - Bear in mind these are both the cut version of the movie. There are about 4 scenes cut from this version, which is unfortunately the most easily found.

A love story between a country boy in Beijing to study and a wealthy businessman set against the backdrop of the 1989 Tiananmen Square incident.

春风沉醉的夜晚 || Spring Fever (2009) - China (mainland) - dir. Lou Ye

Personal rating: 3/5

Hired to spy on a philandering husband, Luo Haitao soon becomes entangled in a clandestine affair with the other man. Along with Luo’s girlfriend, they succumb to the delirium of drunken nights, but how long can their tryst last?

谁先爱上他的 || Dear Ex (2018) - Taiwan - dir. Mag Hsu, Chih-yen Hsu

Personal rating: 4/5 || [HD link, EN sub]

When Sanlian’s ex-husband passes away, she discovers he has altered his insurance policy, cutting out their son in favor of a stranger named Jay.

叔・叔 || Twilight’s Kiss (2019) - Hong Kong - dir. Ray Leung

Personal rating: 3.5/5 || [HD link, EN subs]

One day Pak, a taxi driver who refuses to retire, meets Hoi, a retired single father, in a park. Although both are secretly gay, they are proud of the families they have created through hard work and determination. Yet in that brief initial encounter, something is unleashed in them which had been suppressed for so many years. As both men recount and recall their personal histories, they also contemplate a possible future together.

刻在你心底的名字 || Your Name Engraved Herein (2020) - Taiwan - dir. Liu Kuang-hui

Personal rating: 3.5/5

In 1987, as martial law ends in Taiwan, Jia-han and Birdy fall in love amid family pressure, homophobia and social stigma.

Extra mentions (haven't watched these ones yet but they have decent reviews):

夜奔 || Fleeing by Night (2000) - China (mainland)

Saving Face (2004) - U.S.A

盛夏光年 || Eternal Summer (2006) - Taiwan

Drama Recs

Most of the LGBT dramas I've watched are trash or censored, sorry to say, and I tend to watch movies over dramas, so what's left for me to recommend is just from the HIStory (Linked: wiki with summaries) Taiwanese webdrama anthology:

HIStory1: My Hero (PR: 3/5)

HIStory1: Obsession (PR: 3/5)

History2: Crossing the Line (PR: 3.5/5)

History3: Trapped (PR: 3.5/5)

#text #answered ask #movie recs #long post #all the movies i recced are dramas basically #there are a few movies out there (that i've seen) that are more lighthearted but also.... not good lol #personally i don't think a movie has to be 'good' but this is a rec list so...#unrelated but i ended up rewatching farewell my concubine for the first time in a while yesterday and one of the top letterboxd reviews #is a terrible take lmao #shoutout to sally on letterboxd you uncultured swine lol #but that's what happens to most chinese movies on letterboxd -u-'#either barely anyone has logged it #or it's popular to the point of there being a bunch of white film bros writing reviews where they manage to add something #offhandedly sinophobic #or otherwise add how they think the director became a sellout later uwu but THIS film is pure bc blah blah (yes this is about zhang yimou)#(white film bros - speaking broadly)#anyway. lol.#my letterboxd rant no one asked for.#i just think we should be allowed to downvote reviews on there that's all

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chirpos-pencil · 17 days

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I get like an uncomfortable 'zap' through my body whenever anyone declares Makoto to be Komahina's 'child' or just generally infantalizing him...

#yes I understand they say it as a joke but still...considering how often Makoto is infantalized; treated as a fully naive child;#'needs' Kyoko and Byakuya to hold his baby hand through the trials or something like that...#it gives a bad taste to my mouth?#under pictures of komahinaegi; i see some comments designating Makoto as their 'son' and it just....urk...#He's an adult man dealing with a lot of emotional baggage. Instead of turning to despair or becoming resentful;#he turns towards hope and forgiveness #He's not afraid to fight till the end for the sake of his loved ones and a better world; He doesn't hesitate to be reckless if it #meant protecting his loved ones #I don't understand how he became a 'baby' or just a 'naive hopeful little child' in the first place...#apologies for this rant...#chirpos chirps

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ultramarine-spirit · 1 year

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please let's go back to the day who made me a princess chapter 100 came out when Diana showed up and everyone was freaking out

I remember that Diana was even a trending topic on Twitter 🤧

The golden days 💕

That was honestly one of my favorite moments in WMMAP's serialization!

I really love how Spoon handled Diana's character. The concept of a character haunting the narrative (at first figuratively, but in the end quite literally) is so compelling to me.

I don't even need to explain how important Diana was for Claude. All of his actions and, subsequently, the plot of the manhwa come from Claude's inability to cope with her death. He regularly has dreams and visions of her (that were later revealed to be Diana's ghost, but I also want some of them to be Claude's sad fantasies because that's kind of funny) and can't help but see Diana in Athy. The man is literally haunted by the memories of his lost love. Good stuff.

But she was also incredibly important to Lily, who dedicated her life to Diana's child and risked being murdered by Claude in more than one occasion. And died for her once. Of course, Lily loves Athy immensely, almost like her own daughter and not just because of Diana. Felix too remembers her very fondly.

And then there's Athy, who despite repeating again and again (almost as if she wanted to convince herself) that she can't possibly miss a mother she never knew, how could she do so when that's such a foreign concept to her, how could she mourn for someone she never had, actually does miss Diana. A whole lot.

Can we talk about this parallel? Please?

This is all common to the novel and the manhwa, but where Spoon's own take diverts from Plutus' is that she made Diana more of a character than a narrative device. Diana actually meets Athy, we get to see glimpses of her characterization through Claude's memories, she has actually been there with them all along. Literally. In soul-ghost form.

Lily called it all the way back in chapter 14

Don't get me wrong, I really like how in the novel Claude and Athy (more Claude than Athy, really) learn to move on from Diana's death. Athy mentions that she wouldn't mind if Claude decided to have a new relationship (not that he ever would, though) because he deserved it. Or how she apologized to Diana in her thoughts for being glad that Claude was moving on, even if that was selfish, because Claude wasn't just Diana's lover, he was also her dad, and she wanted him there for her, not endlessly chasing after a ghost. There's also this line about the visions Claude gave Athy becoming blurrier, after almost 20 years his memories of Diana were starting to fade away, even if she still appeared beautiful in Athy's dreams.

I think all of that is quite powerful and healthy. People shouldn't live for the dead, Athy taught that to Claude. It's a pretty realistic outlook on grief, so even if (or maybe because) it's less romantic, I love it. That's what Diana would have wanted as well.

But Diana wasn't really a character in the novel, and that's a very valid criticism of it. She was little more than a plot device. Which, no matter how in love I am with the character haunts the narrative idea, I can see how could be an issue for some people. This, in my opinion, is the best change the manhwa introduces to WMMAP. Spoon made Diana a real character, even with her limited screentime. I can tell it was an important moment for Spoon because she made a whole dedicated blog post about it. Chapters 100-101 were just amazing. And okay, Athy deserved to meet her mom. C'mon.

Chapter 100 makes me tear up every single time I read it and this was not an exception

It's a less realistic depiction of moving on from a loved one's death, but the end result is similar to the novel's. Athy notes that Claude started taking care of himself, and actually sleeps in his bed. She has dreams of the life the three of them could have had, but doesn't look back in anger or bitterness, but with love for the mother that was always looking over her.

Also call me corny, but I adore how love is literally the most powerful force in the narrative. Forget imperial mana and black magic, Diana's love for Athy and Claude was so great that she was able to affect the real world (despite being dead, despite how a part of herself had already reincarnated!) to save Athy and assure her of how much she loved her.

#yes i did tear up writing this #thank you for giving me the chance to rant anon #who made me a princess #i suddenly became a princess #suddenly became a princess one day #wmmap #sbapod #sbap #athanasia de alger obelia #athanasia #athy #claude de alger obelia #claude wmmap #wmmap claude #diana wmmap #wmmap diana #wmmap meta

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bisexualsafespace · 6 months

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"sexuality isn't fluid!!!"

have you ever considered that we are talking about people in general, not people in general with emma into extra account.

#lgbt #lgbtq #gay #mspec friendly #mspec safe #mogai #sexuality isn't fluid #yes it is you aren't given elevated status #unfluid sexuality became more mainstream because of political lesbianism.#people are more aware of unfluid defined sexualities because of the work of political lesbians.#yes unfluid/STE sexualities are more known #but that doesn't give you the talking stick. stop being exclusionist #thanks for reading my stupid rant

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fitzrove · 2 days

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WHAT'S THE POINT

#!!! if bad books (according to me) are as popular as good ones if not more. what's the point!!!!!!!#this extends to fic too. some of my worst tropey fics that i churned out in 2 minutes became really popular while stuff i felt passionate #about went ignored kdkfld (this is largely abt old fic btw not elisabeth stuff. i know you guys like your [redacted])#whats the point of working hard to make something good if people are just as happy and fulfilled with bad stuff as long as it exists #🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲#there is no point haha i mean personal fulfillment? i guess but its not that fulfilling to not have the chance to show ppl your work #sorry i promise i dont have a martyr complex 💀 and in the grand scheme of things its not like im some creative genius #the thing is. i work hard on stuff because i think not giving my best for personal projects done for personal fulfillment is wasting time #but then the disproportionate amount of effort vs online attention really stings. they dont often correlate #there is no point haha. i'm not good at being happy or content and i'm neurotic about the things that make me happier to do #rant #'have you considered taking antidepr*ssants' yes but my other mental illness says no to them. their tongues are battling for dominance

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aroacettorney · 5 days

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perhaps the reason why aup ended like *that* is because it was not supposed to have a happy ending in the first place, but sayren didnt have the guts to deal with readers' backlash for when they finally kill off the main character so a half baked happy ending is what we get 😔

#for a happy ending of a story to be narratively satisfying the characters gotta actively work hard for it #this happy ending feels empty because quite frankly speaking ludger did nothing to deserve it #he has zero character developments from the beginning to the end and has always been the same #well except for his emotional state getting worse over time #bc instead of making any attempt at all to healthily address it like a mentally mature 40yo adult he let it swallow him whole #(not that im necessarily blaming him but its quite frustrating to see him remain unchanged if aup is meant to be a redemption story)#his OPness is inherent #his genius is inherent #(this is not to say he isnt hardworking / only relying on his inborn talents but the author repeatively failed the 'show dont tell' checks)#(bc it was only implied in the past and we've never truly seen it in the canon present timeline either)#his kindness is inherent #ngl dad!ludger content doesnt appeal to me as much as dad!edgeworth cuz the latter is the fruit of the character's growth and hard labor #while the former is well... its just who he is #usually i love found family content but in aup it bores my mind out bc his interactions w the students + owens are so static & predictable #it was heartwarming at the moment of adoption but later on i find it as tedious as reading generic established romantic relationships #was it because of the lack of tensions and conflicts i wonder #they all became his yes men and no one ever actively challenged his unhealthy mindset or behaviors #anyway id have been more interested if he recognized his biases/favoritism/prejudices towards some certain characters & worked to change it #but welp. that would require character growth which is too much to expect from him ig #he has learnt quite nothing from his journey and tbh aup would ironically feel more meaningful if it ended on a tragic note #ofco i got noblesse'd again 😔#would i kill for aup to have a happy ending? yes #would i rather have a sad ending over the half baked and empty good ending we get? also yes #if it must burn then let the whole world burn. cuz at least it would be more much memorable and impactful that way #and i wouldnt have to feel this disappointed and lose all of my interests in one of my only two beloved aroace MCs in aup </2 #rant

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infizero · 11 months

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also his drawings. make me insane. im pretty sure ive made a post about this before a while ago but i just love looking at his silly little drawings it adds so much to his character. even after everything he's been through he's still got some humor and lightheartedness in him. and he's really good at drawing too!! so it's likely something he's been doing since he was a kid

#will always believe in closeted art kid michael who became a bully so he wouldnt get bullied himself <- REAL TO ME!#anyways all his drawings are fun but i still cant get over the little hearts he scribbled in the margins of that one page #theyre just so simple and....... human. i dont know ToT #this guy is literally an undead purple zombie and he's doodling little hearts in a book #it just reminds you that michael IS a Real Guy. like canon fnaf kind of sucks ass when it comes to actually attaching any people or real #human emotion to the events of the games (very much focuses more on What Happened over actual character stuff)#(which is fine but not what i rlly look for in media usually lol.... which is why i love stuff like og fnaf vhs #which is much more character-driven)#but anyways. i think his comments and drawings in the logbook work wonders in making michael feel more real #and less like just unseen protagonist who we know about vaguely #thats why i cling so hard onto little things like his habit of chewing gum. or just him liking to draw in general #usually i dont like when fandoms make One Trait of a character super prominent/their whole personality #but with michael we know SO UNFATHOMABLY LITTLE about his character/personality that these little scraps of info are rlly all we have #in terms of his character beyond The Things That Happened To/Around Him #OH also. his love of that stupid fucking vampire show is SOOOO near and dear to my heart #another thing that makes him so painfully human. yes he is serious protagonist guy who goes thru the most unimaginable shit ever #but at the end of the day. he like many of us enjoys a stupid cartoon that he probably takes way too seriously for what it actually is #his comment about it in the logbook still makes me laugh THIS MF IS PROJECTING ONTO A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN HIS LITTLE SHOW #HE JUST LIKE ME FR #ANYWAYS holy fucking shit i did NOT mean to go on this long of a rant #i just fucking love michael afton so much im sorry #serena.txt

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anoddopal · 6 months

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🐰 Thoughts: [Pre]Alabasta/Alabasta Arc

[WAIT A SECOND OFFICER! I CAN EXPLAIN MYSELF! ➡️ The ritalin tells me what to write and I just spew out nonsense as it comes to me. Anyway, here goes a stim-induced attempt to express a bit more about how these two became an item.]

[POSSIBLE TW: One mention of n00dity, also kinda ominous language towards the end... Listen he's a liar but aside from that they go on to have a very unproblematic relationship!! He just has to be knocked down a peg first!!]

It all starts when Bun-Bun Silva is hired at Rain Di.nners [not Bar.oque Works] to care for the Banana Gators/Ban.anawani that surround the establishment. Prior to her filling the role, it was a difficult position to fill. A job like that isn't exactly an opportunity many people would jump at-- save for a smiling local who seems much more interested in staring at the beasts during the hiring process than looking another human directly in the eyes for longer than necessary.

She takes good care of those gators. Excellent care. She’s happy to show up to her job and do whatever is needed. There’s never a complaint from her end. A bit of a quiet enigma- Silva doesn’t talk much to anyone she crosses paths with at the casino, staff or otherwise. As he does with all of his employees, Cro.codile keeps tabs on her, especially since she’s responsible for the health of his beloved pets. Sometimes the warlord overhears her chattering away to herself/the ban.anawani… she says more to them in a day than she’s ever said to any person at Rain Di.nners during the several months she’s worked there.

She has to be some sort of spy. He’s certain of it. Nobody is that enthusiastic about working with a species of animal that most people run screaming from. This is all a sad attempt to infiltrate his organization.

But after calling her into his office for a little talk he realizes that there’s nothing malicious going on. She really is just a completely innocent, if not eccentric person. And once he asserts that fact, Silva is dismissed.

Or rather, she would be under any other circumstances. Normally, Cro.codile wouldn’t bother with more one-on-one interactions. He’s not a person who entertains potential wastes of his time.

But there’s a lot more going on there than she lets out during that meeting. He can tell. He just can’t tell what it is. And that bothers him. Cro.codile can see how well she works with his pets- the gators are unusually affectionate and happy when she’s around. Silva can also be assertive with the animals, something that’s needed to maintain a safe dynamic with the apex predators. Cro.codile… appreciates that. [He’s not keen on anybody knowing but he is a big animal lover!!]

An offer for dinner is placed on the table. An offer that she almost doesn’t take. An offer that leads to a tension-filled first ‘date’. It becomes apparent to the pirate warlord that this isn’t going to be easy. Silva will not make it easy. Those big brown eyes constantly flutter over him; an attempt to figure out what’s going on in his head, just as he’s trying to figure out what’s going on in hers. Despite how sweet Silva can be, she’s equally as prone to scrutiny. There's a nervousness that radiates off of her, a hesitant wariness- she doesn't want to make any wrong moves. Yet at the same time she will not grovel or cave. Huh. In a way it almost reminds him of his own general caginess. The both of them aren’t keen on letting just anybody in. Someone has to be special for that to happen. The other party has to prove that they’re worth it.

That’s okay. Crocodile can wait and see. He's been patient over the last few years in regards to his scheme to overtake Al.abasta anyhow- why not divert a little in his free time? Everything is going according to plan. In the end, he's always in control.

The courtship undertaking is a give and take. Little tidbits of insight bubble up more and more over time. And they're... peculiar perceptions. It’s not often that somebody manages to catch his eye. And it’s certainly not normal for him to take a legitimate interest in someone who touts a lot of the traits he claims to despise.

Annoying. Weak. Soft. Pathetic. Naive. A bleeding heart.

Yet at the same time; Guarded. Private. Careful. Just a bit cynical/jaded. Even a bit of a misanthrope.

Ah... she's just enough of a realist to know that notions such as fulfilling dreams and obtaining justice are novelties few can afford. Yet her acknowledgment of how sobering reality is does little to crush her stubborn optimism. The world should have crushed someone like her long ago. And while while it certainly has bent her, she refuses to let it break her.

Humans are hypocritical in nature. Sir Cro.codile is no exception. Ironically someone like Silva - someone with so many facets he’s incapable of appreciating in others - is exactly the type of person he can trust with his life. With his secret. As a consequence of the connection between them continuing to build, that’s exactly what he ends up doing.

Silva doesn’t worship him like the hero the rest of the country thinks he is. She doesn’t shrink in terror because of his warlord status, either. Instead she’s curious about the man behind all that. Someway, somehow, she manages to point out his “positive” traits. She values his person in a way nobody ever has before. Cro.codile can’t help but let a thin lipped smile spread on his features every time they’re alone together.

When he isn’t dealing with his shady enterprise or mummifying invading pirates, he ardently seeks her out. She’s endearing to him. The way she likes to hide under his plush fur coat. The way she holds his rough, calloused hand. Hell, sometimes she even reaches out to hold his hook. When he’s trying to catch up on mundane work she often hangs out in his office, sprawled out on a chaise lounge while she babbles away about whatever is on her mind. [There are many, many conversations about animals that take place between them!] She has a penchant for sass and playful banter, but Crocodile finds himself uncharacteristically unbothered by it. There’s something about her audacity that he finds amusing. He hardly minds the misguided nagging. Something lurches in his chest when she places tiny kisses along the length of his facial scar. There’s probably a corny phase to insert here about how pirates adore their treasure, but in Cro.codile’s case? He absolutely covets her. If anyone dared made her feel uncomfortable he’d reduce them to nothing more than a dried out husk.

Silva makes him feel so… so… well, she makes him feel. There’s a certain kind of power she holds over him; the power to worm her way into his thoughts, his life, his heart…

… How did this happen? How could he have let himself become so weak? He’d resent her if he didn’t love her so much.

It wasn’t supposed to play out like this. He wasn’t supposed to get in this deep. She was an anomaly; not part of the plan. This has all gone too far. She doesn’t even know about his master scheme- Cro.codile makes sure he keeps his work life and his love life separate. Silva only knows as much as the general population of Al.abasta does as far as his profession goes. He’s smart enough to know that she’d recoil from him if she knew that he was methodically bringing her homeland to ruination. It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie, he figures. How ironic was it - that the very person who knew the absolute most about him - had no idea as to what would occur because of him in the near future?

She’ll know soon enough, he tells himself. On that night she’s curled up next to him in bed, with nothing but his green fur coat to cover her naked form. A pretty gemstone ring glimmers on her left ring finger; opal and rose gold, just like she told him she wanted. All Crocodile can do is reflect over how she managed to best him. A feat that nobody before her had ever been able to achieve. His vision for the future changed the very minute she came into his life. He can admit that [to himself]... Part of him was aware of that from the very beginning.

That doesn’t mean his objective to usurp the Kingdom of Al.abasta is going to be thrown to the side. Rather, he simply adjusts his plan to include her in it. Not that he’s going to need a queen, but he’d love nothing more than for her to be his. How romantic.

It’s not like she’d reject the idea. He’s confident Silva is far too loyal to detach from him once everything is said and done. She's just as invested in what they have together as he is. What’s she going to do? Say “no”?

[Huh? Well of course he’s still an awful person. What- did you think the power of love was enough to change the man?]

Of course, the course of events don’t play out in Sir Cro.codile’s favor. He's defeated and sent to Im.pel Down. Al.abasta is saved. Silva packs her bags and leaves her home to find a new place in the world. They’re [as far as they know] separated permanently. It's over.

...

Or maybe... maybe it's merely a little break? Maybe fate has something else in store for the both of them... an inevitable unconventional crossing of paths? A reunion of sorts?

...

Maybe it's really only just begun. >:3

#Did I take exactly a month to write an infodump post in present tense?#Yes. Yes I did.#NGL I'm not very pleased with my writing at the moment- but this is as good as it's going to get for the time being.#This was actually meant to be about their ship dynamic and detail some specific scenarios but it quickly became a rant about BACKSTORY LORE #I guess that will have to be a different post!#sorry for getting all cryptic at the end there #listen there's drama okay. how could there NOT be drama??#Spoiler Alert: These two are going to be back in each other's arms and more invested than EVER-#i feel like a fool for posting this #there are probably so many typos and incorrect fluidity to the sentence structure and IDC IDC #smoking sandman husband #S/I: Bun-Bun Silva

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somethingsgottasaveyou · 5 months

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My favourite hobby is looking through comments of tour announcements of bands that decide to tour with All Time Low just to see them make a fool out of themselves

#ahh yes this is about the used #it used to bother me #but now i will just go to the band's tour announcement's post #it's been months and the person of the allegations vanished and it's a fact the 97 was a made up number #and yet there's still people out there making fools out of themselves #playing the 'i can't believe you'd do this' card #every. time.#it's almost funny #it's especially funny how people make shit up #like nobody got raped. nobody accused anyone of that. get your facts straight #this became a full on rant whoops #all time low

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autisticlee · 6 months

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sometimes I think about how I was legitimately the most hated and bullied kid in my entire class, and probably entire school. I knew this as a fact. there was nothing I could do about it. not just by the kids either, but the teachers/staff as well. all because I was autistic and unable to speak and they didn't want to treat me decently. and I ask why. (rhetorically of course, because I know all the excuses given as answers)

being an autistic kid and knowing damn well this is true, that you're the most hated person in the entire building with not a single person on your side, knowing you're the main target for everyone's aggression every day, is....truly something. you know. like carrying the weight of everyone's hatred and negativity on your back alone, being their punching bag, internalizing their hatred for then. from ages 4 to 18. nonstop. never getting better. never knowing why. not being able to stop it. never getting any help. on your own and alone. blamed for it all.

yet i'm simply told to "get over it/stop caring" and get blamed for it fucking me up and having a lasting effect. lmao ok. let me just forget more than half my life existed at this point and magically get better! thanks!

#those assholes are lucky I didn't have the heartless soul to take revenge on them or something.#instead it just became internalized trauma 🙃#lee rambles #autistic #autism #actually autistic #school trauma #what would they have done if i lost my shit and lashed out at them????#the most i was ever able to do was take a plastic knife and stab an apple at lunch while glaring at a table of the kids #that scared them enough to leave me alone for a few days. then theh forgot and back at it again #why is it always the victim's fault and the bullies win? even years after the fact. why cant my brain “get over it” like people tell me :/#and yes i was able to get a therapist. no it hasnt helped yet. i do all the coping stuff she suggests already #basically distractions and whatnot. no it hasnt cured me.#she always tells me i have good coping mechanisms. im doing a good job. i deal with things reallt well. ok why am i still a mess 🙃#its almost as if theres no cure and only pretending #what am i rambling about. this sounds like an emotional rant but i genuinely feel nothingness atm. just reminiscing how fucked up it all was #why were things like that allowed to be put onto one single child and why did they never get any help or justice and are blamed #s i g h s #also ive always felt like no one believed me when i said i was the most hated and bullied kid at school. it is 100% true lmao unfortunately

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canthaveshitinkamurocho · 2 years

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uh AU where Haruka expresses natural trauma responses due to not only the effects of working in the idol industry but also her entire life ig [click 4 quality]

#no but actually Haruka is so strong #she needs therapy i KNOW she does #also I feel like being an idol was something she wouldve loved to do if she werent in the position of having to leave her entire family #mirei was kinda shitty for that i like mirei but #haruka deserved better #haruka has been kidnapped SO MANY times #and has watched multiple people die in front of her #and became a mother figure for her siblings at an early age #AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE SHES 100% OKAY????#anyway yea thats what inspired this #rant over goodbye #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #rgg #yakuza 5 #haruka sawamura #the option to press yes or no before moving on to the final round #of the princesses league made me emotional idkk

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juneviews · 1 year

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yesterday I was having a bad day & bingewatched the entirety of project alpha, and... tell me why I cried a minimum of 3 times lmao, I was so invested ;_;

#axelle rants #project alpha #fluke was done so wrong I'm so mad #but apart from that pretty much all of my faves won so I'm pretty happy with the result #I'm glad nat won even after getting booted off from his alpha seat bc I used to not care for him before but then seeing him as a beta & -#- then win by surprise was the perfect conclusion #but again fluke really had the shittiest luck & got eclipsed by william when he pretty has as good of a voice as him #he was deffo the best singer with william & became my fave so I'm very sad for him I hope he doesn't give up :(#but yes anyways loved that program so much & it cheered me up after a couple of really shitty days

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textsfromhunterxhunter · 2 years

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‘mothering’ being a neutral term in this instance 🤔

#for real though they became my favorite for several reasons and what was actaully happening in this scene was a big factor #yes they did bad things before but they were the only one besides meruem that treated Komugi with even an ounce of respect #chimera ant arc spoilers #Hunter X Hunter #texts from last night #sorry for the rant lmao #Neferpitou

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aria0fgold · 7 months

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Wait, actually. I got another OC semi-ramble to say. Aint bout Alec and Ray this time, but bout a non-human OC that is now bouncing around my head cuz of one of the snippets I wrote.

Can yall imagine how mind-breaking it is to actually have a character in a story that is self-aware and fully knows the fact that everything in their world is nothing more than a fabrication made by a human behind a screen typing everything out with a predetermined fate that they're powerless towards it?

Meet Alerik, Creator of All in my original and vast universe. He is... a mess to write for. Mind-breaking for me and him honestly, whenever I think of his self-awareness it's like I go on a philosophical journey and an existential crisis that neither of us is prepared for.

But can yall also imagine how lonely and heart-breaking it is to have that character, that instead of going through with the bad route of breaking free from it, continues to love and love and love and just continues to hope, making the best outta his own situation even if he's fully aware bout everything, so he comes off as carefree instead?

Yeah his life is a mess...

#aria rants #yes he has a similar name to alec im aware of that and so is he #i can explain #so like... i had a time in my life where i got obsessed with the name alexandre. it was my favourite name that id use it a lot #alexandre/alexander. alex. alexa. xandre/xander. alexis. alexiel. any form of that name ive used for so many ocs #alec is also a form of alexandre and it became my all time favourite #so obviously i gotta name the creator of all another form of that #but nothing clicked (and also cuz ive alrdy used up all the forms that i know of to other ocs)#then i found the name aleric and so... yeah #but because it looked too similar to alec i changed the c of aleric to k. which is why his name is like that #and besides the name meaning of aleric fits him anyway #im powered by adrenaline again #sleepy debuff but with sleep.... rush?

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