This ruined my life

Going into The Fight (trying to sleep without jumpscaring myself awake over nothing (in which 'nothing' is spiders, hornets, or most recently a creepy closet door that opens, I guess? that's what got me last night. twice)) wish me luck

that feeling of wanting to talk about hyperfixations/special interests to someone but not knowing how to put it into words anymore after a lifetime of being told "shut up no one cares stop talking about the things you like" By literally everyone in your life and learning to completely suppress that part of yourself into numbness

the hollow mind anniversary has just got me thinking about when i used to absolutely adore the show and not constantly think about its wasted potential. like what made hollow mind So Good was that it rewarded us viewers for paying close attention to detail and the foreshadowing they laid out for us. and even though we knew like 90% of what was confirmed in the ep it was still riveting to watch. compare that to the convoluted rushed Mess that the show has been since the collector's introduction and massive diversion of the plot from what they had been building up to (aka the Day of Unity being the final climax/fight of the show) and man they really dropped the ball there. and no, this is not solely disney's fault, the writers made a conscious decision to add in the collector after being notified they were getting a shortened s3 and also hadn't finished writing s2 yet. this is on them.

it's just such an utter disappointment that they decided to upend the show with such a needless plot twist/escalation instead of sticking with what they'd been telegraphing to the audience for most of the series and focused on giving their large cast of characters well paced satisfying conclusions instead of unsatisfactorily cramming as much as they could into the specials.

i would like to stop obsessing about the dumb thing where i was scolded a little for being distracted but its a tangible single thing my brainworms can latch onto instead of the many many other shit things in the background that are objectively way worse or scarier

I DESPISE the new layout of the Tumblr app. There’s a whole ass icon for TumblrMart, which I’m NEVER going to use, plus Tumblr Live, which I’m ALSO most likely never going to use. These icons were replaced with the search one, which I frequently use, and the one for YOUR BLOG’S HOME PAGE, which I ALSO use literally every single time I write my replies (since I always write them on mobile). I’m sorry, it’s bullshit and I hate it.

oh this would be such a bad idea

"team rocket is superior to team plasma. we are but rodents under their boot."

this is a jemaine clement appreciation blog

would sell rocket out for a cornchip

4. which muse of yours is your all time favorite? if you stopped writing them: why?

QUESTIONS FOR MUNS. // @faultyconscience && tagging @pulchramsolis who also asked this

Elijah. I have to say Elijah. I love how much I got to explore that character, I love how many people I got to know through him. I loved so much the obsessively examining the stills we got when he came back to tvd on s04 and I loved how often I was right when digging into him. I just have the fondest memories of writing him.

I stopped cause the originals is objectively bad for Elijah's character. They started using him for fanservice, they started trying to impose the fanon idea of the character onto canon and the fandom itself was hell so I ended up distancing myself of the character. But I still love him and I love writing for him, I just do it less often.

hahaha my sister spent all day with a friend who has covid and only told us when she got home haha isn't family wonderful

finished my broyals chess scene <3

go through a nighttime routine and find out what kind of villain you are

calmly evil

you chose your path fully aware of what it entails. you're the suave villain, unflappable, smooth as silk. you're capable of cruelty without breaking your facade, and live with the consequences without hesitation. when you die, you're surprised. through all of your planning and posturing, you had forgotten that you too were mortal. but even as life slips through your fingers, you manage that smile. that same smile.

sometimes I think about how I was legitimately the most hated and bullied kid in my entire class, and probably entire school. I knew this as a fact. there was nothing I could do about it. not just by the kids either, but the teachers/staff as well. all because I was autistic and unable to speak and they didn't want to treat me decently. and I ask why. (rhetorically of course, because I know all the excuses given as answers)

being an autistic kid and knowing damn well this is true, that you're the most hated person in the entire building with not a single person on your side, knowing you're the main target for everyone's aggression every day, is....truly something. you know. like carrying the weight of everyone's hatred and negativity on your back alone, being their punching bag, internalizing their hatred for then. from ages 4 to 18. nonstop. never getting better. never knowing why. not being able to stop it. never getting any help. on your own and alone. blamed for it all.

yet i'm simply told to "get over it/stop caring" and get blamed for it fucking me up and having a lasting effect. lmao ok. let me just forget more than half my life existed at this point and magically get better! thanks!

also Ruby Sunday’s costume is giving Yet Another Contemporary Human Companion Vibes

ugh i need to email my GP reception again about how THIS form of gel testosterone is also 1) out of stock and 2) not available to order by lichrally any pharmacy in my area either :/

might be time to get an appointment and go over to stab butt i guess