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archangeldyke-all · 5 months

Note

*heavy breathing* I need more protective Sev, that bodyguard fic had me foaming at the mouth...anyways please may I request vigilante!sevika x journalist!reader

i was up all night thinking about this ask anon this is such a good idea

men and minors dni

"you really won't come with me?" you ask. sevika laughs across the table at you.

"fuck no."

"sevika!" you pout. she shakes her head.

"what made you think i'd say yes? you know i hate the promenade." she grunts. you roll your eyes.

"but you're just invested in this story as i am!"

"you don't know they'll strike tonight."

"right. the masked vigilante that's been picking off zaun's corrupt rich one by one won't be attending the biggest gala of the year, that makes sense. don't be stupid sev! they're gonna be there, and they're gonna take their next victim, and i'm gonna be there to catch 'em. and then you're gonna feel like an asshole for not comin' with me."

"'catch 'em'?" sevika asks. you roll your eyes.

"no, fine, not catch 'em. just ask 'em a few questions." you say, leaning back in your chair as the waitress arrives with your food.

you've been investigating this vigilante since they started their work about a year ago. you don't know much, just that they're protecting the people of zaun better than any piltover enforcer ever has. they're quick and efficient, they don't leave a trace. they'll kill anyone from corrupt businessmen who live on the promenade to lowlife domestic abusers in the depths of the undercity.

you work for the local radio station, you get a weekly hour long segment where you can talk about whatever you want. lately, this mysterious vigilante has been all you've talked about.

about six months ago, you got a visitor at work. sevika. she told you she'd heard your segment last night, and she was fascinated with the new hero of zaun. you'd never met the woman before, but the two of you became fast friends discussing the vigilante and comparing notes. and now, she's abandoning you.

"i can't believe you. you're supposed to be my partner in crime!" you pout as you tuck into your sandwich. sevika chuckles around her burger.

"i've got a job, you know." she says. you roll your eyes.

"you don't work nights." you grunt. sevika chuckles.

"maybe i just don't wanna meet my hero. aren't you worried you'll meet 'em and they'll be... normal?"

"what are you talking about, that would be amazing! a normal person taking justice into their own hands? protecting the vulnerable and poor? that's the story of the year right there!" you say, throwing a french fry at sevika across the table. she just rolls her eyes and tosses the fry in her mouth.

the gala blows. you spent half your paycheck on a dress nice enough for this, and you're definitely regretting it. it's just a bunch of rich people who make their money off exploited miners making speeches about how hard they worked for their money. at least the food's good. and the drinks are free.

you've caught no sight of anyone who looks like your mysterious vigilante. the worst part is sevika's gonna be a know-it-all asshole about it. you can already hear her now, 'i told you it'd be a bust,' and 'i can't believe you spent that much on a dress!' you pout. she's such an asshole. you're still a bit pissed she didn't come with you. you were looking forward to seeing her in a suit or dress, maybe dancing with her for a bit, making fun of rich assholes all night long as you both slip fancy silverware into your purse to sell later.

you sigh. you've been daydreaming about sevika a lot lately. the teeny tiny crush you've had on her since the moment you met her has grown ten times in size, and now you're so hopelessly in love with your friend that you can't go twenty minutes without thinking about her. fuck this, you're going to smoke.

you make your way to the balcony, leaning against the wall and fishing a joint out of your purse. shit. you don't have a lighter.

there's a man beside you smoking a cigar. you recognize him from the papers, the CEO of some chemtech company that's in deep shit right now for it's human experimentation. "you need a light?" he asks. you snatch the lighter out of his outstretched hand, lighting your joint before passing it back. "what, no thank you?" he asks with a smirk. you roll your eyes.

"my cousin was one of the poor fucks who signed up to get poked and prodded by your scientists. died three weeks later. all for a hundred extra bucks." you spit out. the man chuckles.

"i'm sorry for your loss, dear, but you should know i had nothing to do with it." you take a long drag off your joint, considering how many nights you'd spend in jail if you decked this fucker right here and now. "i was just as shocked as the public was when these accusations came to light!" he insists, his cocky smirk never leaving his lips. you roll your eyes. "what's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone, anyways?" he asks. you scoff at him.

"working." you say. he raises an eyebrow at you and you turn to go back inside. before you can push the door open, he's got a hand around your wrist.

"working? what kind of work do you do?" he asks, his eyes trailing up and down your body. "anything i can... support you in?" he asks as he licks his lips. you scoff.

"fuck you! i'm not a hooker! and even if i was i'd rather die than sleep with a spineless fuck like you." you grunt as you struggle against his hold. he backhands you, and you gasp, your hand coming up to hold your cheek.

"you better watch your mouth, girl." he grunts out, crowding you against the balcony railing. you gulp.

you're trapped. if you back up any further, you'll tip over the ledge and fall a few hundred feet to your death. his hands are pinned on either side of you, and in front of you his growing erection is pressing against your thigh. panic starts to build in your chest. "get the fuck off of me." you squeak. he chuckles.

"and why would i do that? i got you right where i want you now." he whispers against your ear. you shiver. "don't worry, honey. once i'm done with you i'll send you home with enough money to feed you for a month." tears start welling in your eyes as you push against his chest. he brings his hand up to choke you. you whimper. "if you keep makin' noises like that, i'll pay you double." he grunts.

behind him, something falls and lands on the balcony with a thump. you can't make out what it is, and he doesn't seem to notice. just as your vision begins fading in the corners, his grip on your throat releases. you gasp in a quick breath and watch as the man stumbles backwards. you blink. he's holding his own neck now, with both hands, as blood trickles through his fingers. you blink again. his stumbling stops when he backs into something, and he turns around to look at his assailant.

you look at them at the same time.

six foot something, broad shoulders, shrouded in black clothing, a ski mask over their face, blood dripping off the pink sword being sheathed back into their copper arm. you blink.

the man collapses to his knees in front of the vigilante, choking on his own blood. they don't seem to notice, their silver eyes locked on yours. the fear and panic in your body recede, something similar to glee rising up. you smile.

"sev?" you ask, tentatively. the eyes behind the mask blink. you giggle. "are you fucking kidding me?!" you ask, giddy. the vigilante before you sighs, their shoulders falling, a hand coming up to scratch the back of their head.

by your feet, the man's gargling and wheezing subsides. he's dead, finally. you step over his corpse into sevika's space, slowly reaching up to fiddle with her ski mask. she doesn't smack you away, so you slowly pull the mask up and over her face.

sevika's biting her lip, a worried look in her eye. you giggle. "you had work, huh?" you ask. she shrugs.

"i mean, technically this is work." she says. you shake your head in disbelief.

"i can't fuckin' believe you. this whole time?" you ask. she shrugs.

"i-- i didn't think we'd become friends." she admits. "i just wanted to make sure you weren't gonna expose me." she says. "i didn't really expect--" she cuts herself off. you blink up at her.

"expect what?" you ask.

"i didn't expect you." she finishes simply. you open your mouth to ask her what she means, but you're distracted by the shadow of a figure approaching the glass door that leads to the balcony.

"shit. you need to go." you say, pulling her mask back down over her face. she glances behind her and curses.

"fuck." she grunts, before turning and leaping up to catch the lip of the roof. she pulls herself up, then turns to reach her hand down for you. "come on." she says. you blink, then reach up to take her hand.

she pulls you up to the roof effortlessly, steadying you as you take your heels off to walk better on the slanted slate tiles as you both run away from the scene of the crime. sevika takes you back the way you suppose she'd came, down a fire escape, across a ladder between two roofs, then down into a dingy alleyway.

she catches you before your feet can get mangled by broken glass and pebbles on the alleyway, holding you bridal style. you giggle. she gulps. "you're ridiculous." you say. she shrugs. "did you know i was out there with him?" you ask. she shakes her head no.

"just heard a struggle." she says. "he wasn't the initial target tonight, but... i'm glad i went after him instead."

"me too." you say. she huffs above you. you bite your lip. "i really missed you tonight." you admit. sevika blinks down at you.

"i was gonna tell you eventually, you know." she says. you smile.

"it's okay." you say. she shakes her head no. "what?" you ask.

"it's not. you're my best friend and i've been keeping way too many secrets from you. i know i can trust you it's just..." she trails off.

"secrets?" you ask. she freezes. you laugh. "come on, sev, it can't be worse than 'i'm actually the masked hero you've been obsessed with for the past year'." you say. she huffs. you elbow her.

"i'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." you say. sevika raises an eyebrow at you.

"you got secrets?"

"just one." you say, shrugging. sevika blinks.

"okay." she says. you gulp.

"okay. put me down." you demand. sevika tosses your heels onto the ground before gently helping you into them. she keeps her hands on your hips as you wobble, shoving your feet into the shoes. she doesn't move them once you're done.

"so?" she asks. you sigh.

"if i tell you this and you act like a jackass i'm telling all of zaun your secret identity." you whisper. sevika laughs at the empty threat.

"no you wouldn't, you're not a snitch." she says. you huff.

"i know." you say. then you shrug, look sevika in her eye, and speak. "i'm kinda in love with you." you say. sevika freezes, her hands on your hips clenching into your flesh.

"'me' like, me? or 'me' like... me?" she asks, gesutring at her all black get up. you chuckle.

"you like you, sevika. you. the you i've actually known for half a year. i mean the whole vigilante thing is hot, sure, but. you're the one i'm always thinking about." you whisper.

"you think about me more than the new hero of zaun?" she asks, disbelieving. you chuckle.

"is it that hard to believe?" you ask. she gulps.

"a bit. you're very dedicated to your work. almost figured me out a few times there." she says. you laugh.

"so?" you ask. she blinks at you. "what's your other secret?" you ask. a smile slowly crawls up her face.

"oh." she says, like she's just remembering her end of the deal. "can i just show you instead?" she asks. you blink, then nod.

you expect her to take you somewhere, or maybe pull something out of her pocket. maybe she's gonna show you another feature on her mech arm, or maybe she's got a secret hideout somewhere.

what you don't expect, is for sevika to surge forward, both hands coming up to cup your jaw, her lips crashing against yours.

you squeak in surprise, then moan in pleasure, your hands coming up to wrap around sevika's strong shoulders as her hands move down to grip your waist. she presses you against the wall of the alleyway, sighing against your lips in relief, shoving a thigh between your legs. you gasp and pull away to look at her.

sevika's grinning down at you, a cocky little glint in her eye.

"surprise." she whispers against your lips. you giggle, then pull her down for another kiss.

your listeners are gonna be pissed when you give up your search for zaun's new hero. oh well, you think as you press your lips against sevika's, sevika will help me come up with a new story.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika

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justplainwhump · 2 years

Note

In the pet!Dany AU, where is her father in this? Or bodyguards (though they’re not necessarily reliable protection for her, I know)? @gottawhump

Deal

Have a little drabble in reply, and if you ever have more questions, lmk! It's just, Frankie being Frankie.

Set in the BBU, contains discussion of future noncon, planned kidnapping.

[Making Angel Masterpost]

"I want to fuck her," the muscular man sitting across from them at a small table in some run down fast food joint said, and Alex Nadler just raised an eyebrow.

"Please, elaborate?"

"When she's done," Mueller explained. "Like, when she's all brainwashed and cute and horny. I mean that's what you're doing with all your treatment, right? When she's done, I want to see her, and I want to fuck her."

"Training," Alex corrected, while they jotted down a note. "That's the term. Not treatment." Despite their best efforts, Alex couldn't keep their eyebrows down or their head from slightly shaking. They knew that their face was an open book. And sometimes, people just confused them. They'd offered Frankie Mueller a serious compensation, a new identity, a job at a WRU facility overseas to start a new life.

And the selling point in the end was, what Alex had written down as 'pre-sales product demo'.

"Sure," Alex said with what they hoped was a nonchalant tilt of their head. The client would hate it. Even before anything had gone down, even while Danielle Hammond still went about her daily life unsuspecting, Barlow had a clause in the contract to get a detailed report on whoever got to be intimate with her. But there wasn't another choice. They needed inside help, if they didn't want Hammond's farther to interfere with the operation. "We can make that happen."

Mueller leaned back on his chair. "It's not like, instead of all the other stuff, right? It's just an add on."

"Of course."

"And that identity needs to be waterproof. Stuart is relentless." Mueller grimaced, before he added. "That fucker."

"With your help, we'll make sure Stuart Hammond looks in all the wrong places. Do you know the Somervilles' operation?"

"Ian?" Mueller nodded, as he grabbed his soda and took a long sip. "That who you want to go down for it? Stuart is going to obliterate him for messing with Dany."

Alex nodded. "That is the desired outcome."

"Cool. And we're going to be... dead? Like, in the story?"

"Yes. Daughter of local crime lord and her loyal bodyguard, tragically killed after a kidnapping gone horribly wrong." Alex handed him a USB drive. "I want you to plug this into her computer. Has to be unlocked, apart from that, there's nothing you have to do but wait five minutes."

The device vanished in Mueller's pocket. "Can do. Anything else?"

"We'll need some items from her home. Small things. A colleague will be in touch with you."

"Cool," Mueller said again, and got up from the chair. "Guess I'm going to go enjoy the last days of my life, then." He pulled out his phone and when they caught a glance at the screen, Alex' eyebrow shot up again.

The person on the wallpaper was very familiar to them right now. Danielle Hammond, in Mueller's arm, grinning into the camera in front of some scenic waterfall.

Mueller seemed to have noted Alex' gaze. "Don't worry," he said, while he slipped the phone back into his pocket. "I'm not attached. She's a bitch. She had it coming. I'll deliver her."

Yep. People were deeply unsettling to Alex.

Mueller leaned in. "And then, you'll break her."

Alex winced. "We don't call it that."

Mueller didn't listen or care. "And then I'll..." He made a slow, obscene gesture and chuckled. "Yeah. Can't wait."

He rapped his knuckles on the table, before he sauntered off, calling over his shoulder. "Pleasure making business with you."

Alex stared past him for a while, until they gathered their documents and settled the bill. There was a lot of work ahead of them.

#bbu #future pet whump #wru #angels story #frankie #alex nadler #noncon implied

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ludmithjacques · 1 year

Text

I’m tired and I’m scared.

I like my job, I enjoy it(as much as one can enjoy toiling endlessly for eight hours towards eternally renewing goals).

But It’s far away, and gas is expensive, and I don’t get paid enough.

I’m part of a union now, because of this job, but the job has been union for a long time, and the pay is still what it is, so the union isn’t doing much as far as my immediate needs are concerned.

I’m going to have to quit and get a different job, a closer job, or one with garbage hours and higher pay and harder work that I will hate inside of a month.

Again.

is this just going to be my life? Working jobs I hate to barely scrape by with rent only to just be... Wasting my time in a chair, too tired to interact with my wife or child in any meaningful way? Destroying my body for pennies?

I’m so fucking tired.

I hate this country, I hate capitalism. hate hate hate

I don’t need to be radicalized by a single event, I am an adult and I have eyes and needs and pains.

I suffer from depression and adhd and maybe even some kind of low-level autism from what tests I’ve taken but medical insurance is so fucking expensive I don’t bother going to a hospital/doctor unless I am in non-joint related agony or actively bleeding from an open wound so I’ll never fucking know now will I?

I can’t afford it. I can’t afford anythign that makes me happy but I buy it anyway and suffer the practical cost of it and I’m so fucking angry and tired and scared that I’m just going to keel over and die one day because I can’t afford to go and questoin something that I should be worried about.

I’m tired of never taking my wife on Dates that are better than ‘grab some fast food and wander through a park and hope some festival we didn’t know about is happening’(which too be fair is something that has happened... often, for us).

I’m tired of never taking my daughter to fun places because they cost a fortune.

I’m tired of looking an HR person in the eyes during an interview and saying ‘Why Yes, getting paid a full ten dollars under what was the living wage two years ago sounds wonderful’ just so I can have money in my pocket.

I’m tired of needing to remember every detail of my life so a government agency can decide if I am despairing hard enough for help.

I’m tired of looking at something new and beautiful and right up my alley and then immediately deciding ‘I don’t really need that’ or ‘boy that’ll be fun to play in six years when it’s popularity has faded enough for it to drop ten dollars in price and maybe go on sale once’.

I’m tired and scared.

I grew up poor without really realizing it because we were lucky to live in my grandpa’s house and he didn’t really charge us more than a very tiny amount in rent just to help with upkeep of the place, and it was in a nice neighborhood so we never looked tv-poor.

I’m a 30 year-old man, married, a father, and I have never lived without aid. I have never even hazarded the thought that I’d be able to live alone, never dared consider the monetary implications of getting a place just for me and my wife that didn’t have at least one other person helping with bills.

I really like my job, I don’t wanna quit.

But this is why I can’t have nice things.

#this isn't me asking for money or hotlines or whatever #just venting i guess #im tired

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pigeontheoneandonly · 3 years

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OC Profile

Tagged by the ever-lovely @ghostxofxartemis. Thank you!!!

Tagging: @dr-ladybird, @swaps55, @rpgwrites, @pushingsian, @dafan7711, @awhellstothejoe, @pip-n-flinx, and anyone else who would like to share.

I haven’t done any Nathaly shit in a loooong time so let’s go!

My favorite art of her ever, by the insanely talented @kauriart. Seriously I still stare at this thing an embarrassing amount of time.

I’ve responded to all of these prompts as of her current statuses in Labyrinth (my ME2 novelization).

General-

Name: Nathaly Zelena Shepard

Alias(es): Zey-Zey by her dad’s family, Nath by people who refuse to acknowledge her hatred of nicknames, Bo by her N7 peers, Nathabee by her ex-fiance Todd (and I can feel the murder rising in her disclosing that to you all)

Gender: Female

Age: 31, currently

Birthdate: April 11, 2154

Place of birth: An Alliance Kodiak en-route to Arcturus Station. Her mother was reportedly Very Surprised. The unfortunate private caught on the same transport was reportedly in therapy for years.

Hometown: None, but Phoenix back in UNAS on Earth, or Hellas Naval Base on Mars, probably come closest

Spoken language(s): English, Spanish, and Prothean (thanks Cipher) natively; Dherak, Hessarin, and Vinassi fluently; can get by or communicate a bit in a bunch more. She did well enough in her basic language primer while training in spec ops to get recommended for additional training at ALI, and she kept taking lessons remotely up until her death, more-or-less for fun. As she puts it, languages are “her sole academic talent”.

Sexual preference: Bisexual

Occupation: Currently mercenary. She hates it.

Appearance-

Eye color: Blue

Hair color: Red

Height: 6’4”

Scars: Cybernetic and surgical scars from her resurrection. The damage to her body mostly obliterated earlier scarring.

Favorite-

Color: Changes by the week

Hair color: She likes her natural color well enough, but as a teenager dyed it all kinds of unnatural shades

Song: [I haven’t developed nearly enough headcanon around music in ME to begin to answer this]

Food: Tamales, the way her abuela made them

Drink: Scotch, cold with ice. No, she doesn’t care how it’s supposed to be served.

Have They-

Passed university: She has a degree in philosophy from New Stellar University, an online school, which she earned during her first few years serving as a marine

Had sex: yes

Had sex in public: …yes, technically, though she believes/hopes nobody saw them. Not her finest moment.

Gotten pregnant: yes

Kissed a boy: yes

Kissed a girl: yes

Gotten tattoos: yes (sadly, also lost, though strangely not thanks to her death)

Gotten piercings: yes, though currently only her ears are pierced, the others closed up

Been in love: yes, more than once

Stayed up for more than 24 hours: yes

Are They-

A virgin: no

A cuddler: Not really. Sometimes when she really needs it, but she’d never admit it

A kisser: Absolutely

Scared easily: lol no

Jealous easily: Not… really

Dominant: no

Submissive: no [sidenote: that one fic is a very particular dynamic in a specific context, and I wouldn’t overall characterize her as a sub]

In love: yes

Single: Hell if she knows

Random Questions (tw for self harm/suicide mention)-

Have they harmed themselves: Not intentionally

Thought of suicide: No

Attempted suicide: No. She’s occasionally wondered if there’s something wrong with her that she hasn’t ever considered it, given some of the shit she’s been through. (What can I say, her issues run deep but occasionally have stranger manifestations.)

Wanted to kill someone: The better question is how many times she’s wanted to kill someone and acted on it. The answer is not zero.

Have / had a job: She flipped “burgers” at a fast food joint at the Hellas Spaceport as a teenager (Phytoburger, “Home of the best beef that’s never lived!”). She then enlisted as an Alliance marine at age eighteen, and served until her death at age twenty-nine. Right now, she will firmly insist she’s not employed rather than make any claim of working for Cerberus.

Have any fears: Lots, most unadmitted to herself. But a big one is a fear of leaving people behind

Family

Sibling(s): None

Parent(s): Hannah and Paul Shepard. Hannah still serves in the Alliance, while Paul was medically discharged after an accident when Nathaly was fifteen, and currently lives on Mars

Children: That’s a fascinating question! And oddly not especially related to the one about pregnancy further up.

Significant other: Kaidan(?) Shit’s complicated

Pet(s): Several fish, her favorite of which is a VERY grumpy walking catfish

#nathaly shepard #i love this girl with all my heart

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rootin-tootin-cum-shootin · 3 years

Text

Dating Headcanons for Aomine and Kagami

In honour of my dear friend Jackie @todorokibois finishing her rewatch of Kuroko no Basket, and the accompanying Ace Brainrot she has as a result, I have made this. Is it stupid long? Yes. Did I have fun making it? Yep! Am I going to have her screaming at me tomorrow? Absolutely! Anyway! Enjoy this monster of a headcanon folks!

Aomine Daiki x gn!reader x Kagami Taiga

Wordcount: 2,540

Kinda an awkward fellow at first

He has the emotional awareness of a brick wall so he's not exactly the most in tune with his or others feelings

It would take quite a bit for him to even realize he has feelings for you

Oh man but once he does?

All those feelings he was denying or ignoring hit him hard and all at once

As if Daiki got hit by a bus (a bus made of feelings)

Once he has acknowledged that he likes you

Well, then he gets a little more awkward

Because he has no real clue what he is doing

He has asked Momoi about what he should do, considering she's the more emotionally aware one of the pair

But her suggestions largely consist of classic and almost stereotypical wooing gestures

So with her generic advice in mind

He will buy you flowers and ask you if you would meet him for coffee at "that one place you say you like"

(Like he totally doesn't remember the exact name, location and your regular order after you mentioned it a couple times)

Once you'd get there he would have your drink already ordered, with a nice snack for you there too

And as you sit down to chat and eat, he would hand you a nice bouquet of your favourite flowers

And ask you if you would like to go on a date with him sometime

If you don’t want to see a flustered Daiki, don't mention how this meetup for coffee could be a date.

He will have steam coming out of his ears, because he will internally malfunction.

Daiki will actually be genuinely suave once he figures out he doesn't need to be so performative all the time

You like him for him, not because he acts like a character from a shojo

Honestly there's nothing he enjoys more in this relationship then getting to see you smile

Listens to you so well, he is always attuned to you.

He will play every gift he gives you off as if he didn't remember you talk about how much you loved that piece jewellery because it reminded you of something a character wore in a few episodes of your favourite childhood cartoon one time 2 months ago

And he definitely didn't pick up extra jobs in order to get the cash to pay for it

No way, it was completely a coincidence.

As you may have guessed, the ever blunt and arrogant Aomine Daiki's love language is gift giving

He just wants to see you smile

And if making or buying you a little trinket just because it reminded him of you will do that then so be it

Daiki would honestly pay any amount of money or spend any amount of time if it meant he could make sure you felt loved

Dates are often spent with the two of you just chilling around the house

Netflix and take out on the couch while you wear your PJs? His favourite way to spend a Friday off

Dates where he tries to make you dinner from scratch? Yes please, he wants to impress you through your taste buds. (Which doesn't always work the way he wants)

But he does love to take you out for lunch or dinner

He will offer to pay for everything anytime you go out

Speaking of paying even if you insist on going Dutch

He is absolutely going to attempt to pay before you can even get your wallet out

It honestly becomes a game for you two to see who can pay for dinner first.

The only time he actually lets you pay on a date if say you're going to be driving some distance for a special date

Then he's chill if you pay for the snacks while he pumps gas on your way to that festival in the next city over you both wanted to attend.

He tries so hard to be a gentleman around you

You make him more humble, and he wants to be the best version of himself possible for you. Because you make him want to put in the effort to better himself.

But all that goes out the window the moment you attend one if his games

Then his usual attitude gets even worse, he becomes an actual monster when he plays on the days you watch

The pride he feels when winks at you as he scores the final basket of the games.

Its subtle but its his way of saying "See that babe? That was for you"

This man also lives for post games smooches

His team hates it (they're jealous because you two are so damn cute)

But he will always press his forehead to yours, and ask breathlessly if he can kiss you

Once you say yes, he leans in slow and with a ghost of an I love you resting on his tongue shows you just how he feels

His hands steady on your waist, holding you close as his lips press against yours and takes your breath away. The way you some how always manage to take his away every time he looks at you

When he pulls away for a breath, your noses touching, your lips still millimeters apart, he will tell you that he loves you

All in all, he may not know exactly what he's doing, but man is Aomine Daiki in deep. He wants nothing more than to be the light in your life that you've become for him. Please take care of this Ace's heart, he's trying his best for you.

Taiga is genuinely intense when he likes you

To the point where the moment he knows he likes you, you know too

Now to other people they may think its embarrassing, but he honestly doesn't care

Once Taiga's sure of his feelings for you the man could care less if other people knew

Because why should he hide away how he feels for the sake of other people

Arm wrapped around your shoulder as you walk beside him

Always offering to help you out even if it makes him go far out of his way

Actually telling you straight to your face that he's doing all these things because he has feelings for you and wants you to reciprocate them

Taiga really can be a tactless dumbass sometimes but, hey at least its cute how he's trying to woo you

He wouldn't immediately ask you out though

No he saves that for when he's sure you reciprocate those feelings

Because let's face it, if Taiga likes you, you're most likely already his friend

So when he attempts to pursue you romantically, it is literally everything you could want

He'd honestly know just how to not only fulfill the things he knows you want and even daydreamer about having in a partner while still making it genuine to who he is as a person

Now his love language is absolutely Quality time

So when you two are hanging out together, you have his undivided attention

Taiga honestly would schedule time in his training regiment's schedule when he's preparing for tournaments

Even if its just a 30 minute phone call

He sticks to it

And when you do start dating, he ensures that you go out on a date once every two weeks, minimum

Stay in dates are accepted and appreciated

In fact it was on one of those stay in dates where he asked you to be his significant other

He also texts you quite a bit

Even if its just to say "I know you're busy but make sure you remember to stay hydrated"

Or to send you a cute picture of #2

When you do go out, its usually to do some fun or spontaneous event

A pottery class? Sure why not

Rock climbing at a gym? Let's try it out, maybe you'll even catch each other falling so you can make a corny ass joke

A Tango class? Why not! It could even help with his footwork in basketball

Taiga just wants to spend time with you so he s down to try anything you want at least once

So as long as you're excited for it he'd be happy to accompany you

Even if its just to go get groceries.

He's not terribly jealous by himself, but sometimes if you're out on a date and he's feeling like he hasn't seen you enough in recent weeks

He might steal your attention back from whomever you were speaking with.

Will take you to professional level basketball games

Heck one time you two went to see the Harlem Globetrotters and it was one of the best nights of his life

The both of you were amazed by the tricks and laughing along with the jokes.

You both even got a signed ball after one of trick shots ricocheted off the rim of the basket hit him on the head.

You two have a custody agreement for that ball by the way

But hey that was the risk of sitting court side, and at least it was a great memory

By the time you two left the gym, your cheeks hurt from smiling so widely

And as you two discussed the event as you walked back to his car, the streetlights hitting your face just right

In that moment he realized that he was absolutely and intensely in love with you.

It was honestly really sweet. But did he tell you how he was feeling? N o p e

But speaking of basketball

You are invited to every single one of his games

He wouldn't be mad if you couldn't come to every one, but he hopes that you would come support him at his big tournament games

On the days you go, he plays about 1000 times better

Riko loves those days because he listens to her and the Hyuga when they propose strategies without complaint

She especially likes it because he never loses when you show up

Yes she does ask you to go to every game and practice Seirin has.

And after every game, he takes you out for dinner. Even if its just at a 24 hour fast food joint. You two share a meal after each and every game you attend

He honestly looks forward to those times more than the actual games sometimes

Taiga isn't the type for extreme PDA but you bet your ass he loves to kiss you

No matter where you are, if you’re out together, he's giving you kisses

His hands resting on your cheeks, delicately stroking your skin with his thumbs

As he tenderly presses his lips to yours, passion and adoration oozing from his kiss

Because even though he has a hard time saying how much he loves you

The emotions he can't quite find the right words to say all come through with every press of his lips against your skin

All in all, dating Taiga would be fantastic, he's caring, considerate and always confident in both you and the relationship.

Now let's start off by saying Taiga becomes so much more jealous when he realizes Daiki is also pursuing you

The pair immediately turn it into a competition

If one of them buys you lunch, the next day the other is taking you for an expensive dinner

Taiga asking you to go to one of his games again? Sorry Daiki already asked you to go to his on that day

Daiki asking if you wanted to watch a movie at his place? Nope! Taiga bought & gifted you tickets for the concert your favourite band was putting on and had asked you to go with him months ago

Lord help you if they're playing against each other

Both will show off to the point its detrimental to their teams

You thought they were intense before? HAH! The tension between them is almost crushingly heavy now

(There's a reason for that) They bet that whoever won would be the only one to take you out for a month and the other person can't even ask.

Yes that bet is dumb

Yes their coaches kicked their asses for how they're behaving

After that they realize that maybe they shouldn't fight over you like you were a prize to be won

Because they both notice how much seeing each other fight like that hurts not just their relationships with you

But how it hurts, you in general

So with heavy and begrudging hearts they set their romantic rivalry aside

And come to you hearts in their hands and ask you if you'd give them both a chance

Because they recognize that at this point, if you haven't picked one of them

You probably aren't going to choose just one of them

And they would be damned if you chose to just walk away because of how they were acting

So after some explanations of their jealousy towards the other boy on their parts

And you willing to forgive their weirdness

You are now the happy owner of not one puppy of an Ace as a boyfriend.

But two doting Ace boyfriends!

Their individual relationships with you are mostly the same as above

But there are a few throuple dates, where you all go do something together

Heck sometimes the boys will do something without you and have little boys dates

By god can they be protective of you

Creepy old man staring at you? Taiga and Daiki are already glaring at him like nobody's business

Getting hit on and are uncomfortable? Daiki is dragging the person outside to beat the shit out of them while Taiga makes sure you're okay and feeling safe

They actually make a great team in terms of the relationship. Working in tandem to make sure you're happy, healthy, safe and feeling loved

The cuddle piles you find yourself in, are exquisite

Your back smooshed against Taiga's chest and Daiki's head resting on the top of your head while he holds you tightly

Who needs a blanket anymore? Certainly not you my dear, you have two very hot Aces to keep you warm now!

And you bet your ass those two will eventually end up kissing each other

Because well their competitive spirit towards each other never truly went away

Now their competitions look more like "who can kiss our significant other more"

(BTW the score for that one is Daiki III Taiga II, because Taiga fell asleep 3 hours before you and Daiki did the last time they played that game. Taiga still hasn't forgiven his brain for that)

The boys eventually come to terms with the fact that they think the other is hot, and sometimes (ie. Most times) they want to kiss.

They will absolutely deny it if asked by anyone but you. Because they don't mind you seeing them smooch, because then you may join them in the makeout session.

They may say they're as straight as an arrow, but every arrow has some flexibility to it under the right circumstances.

All in all its actually a really healthy poly relationship, once they get their heads out of their own butts that is

#aomine daiki #aomine x reader #aomine x kagami #kagami taiga #kagami x reader #knb #knb headcanons #kuroko no basket #mutuals #attacking my mutuals

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camillemonty · 3 years

Text

Crush

JJ x Reader|Kook

Summary: You just moved to outer banks and you are not so thrilled about your new kook life as your parents and are curious about how your summer will be. As the summer goes on surprises come along with ups and downs, tears and laughter, new friends and family.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 (p1), Chapter 4 (p2)

Chapter 5 - Midsummer

It’s been five days since the kegger, five days since you broke up with Liam. You haven’t talked to anyone but your mom and your best friend. You haven’t go out either, been distracted enough by your mom, moving furniture all around the house and the books you start reading but don’t finish. You told your mom about Liam, just the breakup, she never really liked him, and she was right, she always is. Liam hasn’t come to your house either, but for that you were thankful. You were at the dock laying on one of the benches listening to music when a boat stopped in front of you.

“y/n” you hear Sarah, as you put on pause the music.

You sat on the bench and looked at her, the rest of the group in the boat. “Hey” you smiled.

"We are going to the marsh, do you want to come with us?” she asked

“Oh don’t worry there’s no need…” you started but John B cuts you off.

“We want you to come” he said.

“Well just give me five minutes” you smiled.

You went back home to put on a swimsuit and threw a towel in your backpack. Downstairs you opened the fridge and saw a six-pack of beer, you grabbed it, the same thing with a couple of bags of chips you saw, tossing all in a pool bag from your mom, finally you took your keys and went out, towards the boat that was waiting for you.

“Wow what you got there?” JJ questioned while grabbing the bag for you as you hop in.

“Well I couldn’t come with empty hands” you shrug “I'll feel guilty about it”

John B made his way to the marsh, but not without giving you a little tour and talk about all kind of stuff that had happened in Outer Banks. As soon as the boat stopped JJ and Pope jumped in the water, the day was hot and you wanted to toss your shirt out but deep inside you felt a little insecure, so you didn’t do it, Kie was already shirtless, soaking up the sun, and Sarah was whispering stuff in John B’s ear, you just leaned back closing your eyes, face up to the sun while your hair fell out the boat, you could hear the splashing coming from JJ and Pope and the giggles between John B and Sarah. Nearly falling asleep a patting on your leg catches your attention, you slightly opened your eyes it was Kiara.

“Are you coming?” she asked. You sat and saw around you, everyone was in the water.

“C’mon Y/n” John B called you.

You stood up and took your shirt off, JJ watching every move you made, you took your shorts off, and standing next to Kie, about to jump, you felt JJ’s glare on you, Kie jumped first and you followed her, the water was amazing, removing every sign of heat in your body, you popped your head out of the water and swam close to the group.

“Good isn’t it” asked Sarah.

“Oh yes” you nodded.

“Wait till we go to the beach” JJ said.

“Yeah, you have to come with us” Kie agreed. You felt your heart get warmer.

“So are you liking outer banks?” John B questioned.

“Yes… I am” you nodded.

JJ started a water fight right after that, so the next thing you know is that everyone was fighting back in between giggles, insults, screams, and splashes. After a while in the water you all decided to come out and eat something, you were the last one to get into the boat, taking JJ hand as help, you gave him a shy smile and went to the other side, he looked at you, his eyes lingering your body almost all exposed, Pope noticed it and slapped JJ in the back of the head.

“What was that for?” JJ asked

“Just taking you out of your trance” he chuckled pointing at you with his chin making JJ rolls his eyes.

You put on your shirt and sat next to Kie to help her with the food while Sarah was grabbing the beer. Kie handed Pope a sandwich, they looked at each other and smiled, you glanced in between the two, something was happening with them. She gave you another one and chinned up at JJ, you turned at him, offering the sandwich with a smile.

“Thank you princess” he said grabbing it, his fingers touching yours. You rolled your eyes with the faint of a smile on your lips.

Sarah handed you a beer, you all were quiet for a second, enjoying the food. “So Y/n” started John B, mouth still full “Why did you move here?”

You took a sip of the beer “My dad was offered a job here” you explained.

“Sorry if I ask but how’s that your Liam moved here too?” Pope questioned.

“Our dads work together” you grab a bite from your sandwich, he nodded.

The chat went on, they all asked you a lot of stuff, and later John B and the guys started to tell you their funny stories and adventures, how they all met, the hundreds of fights JJ has been on, how they met Kiara, and that at the beginning Kiara and Sarah hated each other but that they were like best friends now. Kiara talked to you about how she wanted to make a campaign to save the turtles, and that we have to save the earth. They were all so friendly, you liked them a lot; they were their own little family and loved each other so much, you were happy that they invited you to spend the day with them. The beers were over and so all the food, the sun was starting to set behind, you were all laying across the boat, just talking. JJ was seating next to Kiara, she was next to you. You saw JJ lighting up the joint, he blows out the smoke and saw you looking at him, with a smirk on his face he extended his arm in front of Kie and offered you the cigarette without saying a word, just like the other night, you grabbed it and placed it in between your lips, took a drag, and returned it, unaware that everyone was looking at the exchange, they all glanced in between each other, with confused smiles, JJ took another drag and then offered it to Kie.

“Didn’t know you smoke” said Pope.

“I don’t” you replied.

“Didn’t know you were a liar” JJ scoffed.

All the looks on him now “I only took a drag the other night” you narrowed your eyes. The other four looked at each other again, a scowl on their faces.

“The other night?” Kie asked, the shadow of teasing in her voice.

“At the Kegger” said JJ simply. With more confusing looks, as well as widen eyes and smiles, they were getting brand new information.

“When?” was the only thing that came out of Pope's mouth.

"After I broke up with Liam, he went to ask me if I was ok and then offered me a drag” you shrug, thinking it was no big deal.

“Oh he did” John B does his best not to laugh “such a gentleman” he teased.

JJ rolled his eyes “I thought you were with a touron” Kie tilted her head in question. That's when you understood where the fun came from, he didn't tell his friends he was with you that night. You felt a little embarrassed and awkward.

“I was, this was before, and then I went back with the touron” JJ shrugs. They looked at each other, knowing they will continue to tease him when you weren’t around.

“Last jump?” Sarah offered, noticing in your eyes that you were uncomfortable, standing up at the edge, giving a glance around the boat.

“Last jump” Kie and John B agreed with her, being followed by Pope.

You were left in the boat with JJ, he stood up and looked down at you “coming?” he asked.

You nodded and stood up at the edge, looking at the others swimming, the sun already making shadows in the water. JJ stood up next to you, very close, you turned to look at him, his blue eyes looking straight into yours; you could see the smile on his lips when his hand touched your side, pushing you into the water, but even with the surprise you were fast enough and grabbed his hand, pulling him with you. You pop out your head first laughing at his failure. He came out to the surface and shook his head, getting his blonde hair off his face.

“I’ll kill you” he said laughing.

You were all in the boat, going back home. You felt tired and your skin was hot, pretty sure you had a sunburn. You saw your house in the distance and started to get your things together.

“What are you doing this weekend?” John B asked.

"I’ll probably go looking for a dress” you replied.

“For what?” JJ questioned.

“Midsummer” you said like it was no big deal.

“Are you going?” asked Sarah with a big smile on her face, you nodded “Oh my god yes!” she hugged you “we are going to have so much fun” she turned to see Kie.

“Not that I’m not excited for you coming is that I didn’t want to go in the first place” Kie explained herself.

“Don’t worry I didn’t know I was going until five days ago” you said.

"Who are you going with?" Sarah asked.

"Lane" you replied, the look on her face changed, like a sad look, you took a mental note to ask Lane about it.

The boat stopped in front of the dock and you hopped out. You turned back at them and said goodbye, they said it back and started their way home. You entered your room and threw your backpack on the floor, went straight into the shower, and put your pj’s on, downstairs you find your mom and she reproached you for the fact that you didn’t put on sunscreen. You grabbed something to eat and went back to your room, deciding it was time to text Lane.

-Hey!-

-Hey!!!- She replied immediately.

-Do you still want me to go dress hunting with you?-

-Of course I want to!-

The days went fast in the solitude of your house, you spent your day reading and scrolling through your phone. You didn’t want to go out by yourself in case you ran into Liam. You had seen him once since the breakup, he was at the front door of his house with the other guys, you were coming back home for a walk and it was for the way they saw you that you don’t want to go alone. You hated this, hated that he was your neighbor; at least until the summer ended.

Saturday arrived before you could notice it. You walked out of the third boutique and you were exhausted, you had tried on at least 20 dresses and didn’t like any of them, Lane had tried more and she felt the same.

“I could use a break right now” you sigh.

“Oh I was about to say the same thing” she nodded.

You two walked in the direction she thought this Caffe shop would be and thank god it was there. You two sat at a little table and waited for someone to come to grab your order, both of you ordered an ice tea, the heat was just too much. The guy arrived with your drinks and you both thanked him. It was deliciously refreshing.

“Can I ask you something?” you asked after a while and she nodded “What happened between you and Sarah?”

Her eyes widened in surprise not expecting that question “we were like best friends, but when she started dating John B she totally bailed on me and the girls” you nodded at her response "I don’t hate her if that’s what you are thinking”

"I wasn't thinking that" you said.

You sat tiredly in the chair, waiting for Lane to come out with dress number eight "Ok, I think I found it” you looked up, she was wearing a navy blue long dress, with little stripes on her shoulders, her back was naked, but the front was more reserved, she looked amazing.

“Wow” you said “that’s definitely going to attract some glances, good glances” you corrected.

She smiled at you and then at her reflection “your turn”

You tried the third dress you grabbed and it was beautiful, it was a baby pink silk dress, long until your ankles, it had a cut on one of the sides, but not too high, your back was covered and the V cut was revealing but not too much, it was flattering. You stepped outside of the dressing room waiting for Lane’s opinion, she looked at you and for the smile on her face, you knew she liked it.

“Oh my god it's perfect” she clapped and you smiled shyly.

The week flew and before you could notice it was already Friday, midsummer was today. You were nervous, everything Lane could talk about was the party, she was telling you all the gossip from past midsummer but her voice was a blur in the background.

"Earth to y/n" she said as she moved her hand in front of your face "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing I'm just nervous" you shrugged your shoulders.

She smiled "c'mon we will have fun" she squeezed your hand and glanced over the magazine in her lap again.

You were at a salon, she begged you to come with her to get your makeup and hair done, it was full of other girls all of them getting ready for tonight.

You look at your reflection in the full-length mirror from Lane's room and your jaw almost touched the floor, the silk of the dress waved down in your body showing the golden heels you bought for the dress, the makeup even better than what you could imagine, pink smokey eyes and nude lipstick, simple but beautiful.

"Girl you look amazing" Lane said from behind. You turned at her, she looked amazing too, her makeup a little more exaggerated than yours.

"Me? Look at you" you said, she smiled and turned around, showing her self.

She handed you a little flower crown that matched the color of your dress, you took it, confusion in your eyes "it's a tradition" she said grabbing hers and puts it on her head.

The Island Club was beautiful, the entrance was decorated with flowers and little lights. There were already a lot of people, all dressed up, you saw your parents in the distance as you walked through the entrance. Lane and you walked toward a huge glass door, outside there was a big terrace and a lot more people, most of them younger, you saw Liam, with Rafe and the rest, Rebecca hanging on Liam's arm. Lane squeezed your hand and smiled at you.

"Let's go for drinks" She spoke. You nodded and followed her.

She lied to the bartender saying the drinks were for your parents. Both of you laughed as you two hid behind a bush. Lane's eyes dilated and a silly smile appeared on her lips. You looked at where she was looking and saw Peter and his friends. Peter saw her immediately and came towards you two. He said hi, his eyes lost in Lane's as she smiled. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. All of his friends chuckled at him.

"Hey get off my sister" said one of the guys that came with him getting in between them. Lane rolled her eyes and hugged him.

"I missed you" she said as he hugs her back "this is y/n" he pulled him back and introduced you.

"Nice to meet you" you said.

"Cooper" he shakes your hand as he glances at you up and down.

You did the same thing, he was brunette as Lane, with bright green eyes and a charming smile. He is wearing a light grey tux and his hair to the side.

You were listening to one of Peter's friends talk for about an hour when Cooper that was next to Lane walked away, standing now next to you.

"Hey" he smiled at you "When did you arrive" He asked.

"Almost a month ago"

"Oh nice, are you liking Outer Banks?"

"Yes"

"I'm glad to hear that" he smiled again "have you gone to the bar at lighthouse yet?" You shook your head "well that's a problem" he said joking.

"Why?" You asked.

"Well because is a very beautiful place with a nice view and I can't believe no one has taken you there"

"Well that's Lane's fault" you replied joking.

He shook his head and tickled with his tongue "that sister of mine" you both laughed "Me, on the other hand, can make a difference and take you one of these days, if you want" he glanced at you, a flirty smile in his face.

"I'll think about it" you smiled.

The two of you continued chatting for a long time, he took every chance he could to compliment you or telling you that you looked beautiful tonight, you felt flattered not in a million times you would have imagined that someone would try to flirt with you tonight, much less Lane's brother. You saw Sarah and Kie in the distance and excused yourself out to go find them.

"Hey" you said when you were close enough. Both turned around and gave you a big smile.

"Hey" Sarah hugged you, followed by Kie "you look beautiful"

"You two look amazing too" you replied.

"You are not drinking?" Kie notices your empty hands and shook her head, disappearing just for a moment to come back with another glass of champagne for you "if we have to go through this night better do it drunk"

"C'mon, let's dance" Sarah took your now empty glasses and dragged you to two to the dancefloor.

In between laughs, turns and hidden glasses of champagne the three of you were having so much fun. Even Lane and Peter's friend joined you, the girls putting on pause their fight. You were dancing with Lane, back to back to some music, until you felt a hand grabbing you by the waist and hand, turning you to face him, making you slow dance as the song changed.

"Hello" said Liam, you tried to pull him away but he was stronger and his grip on you only got harder "I just want to talk"

"Well I don't" you hissed.

"C'mon y/n, don't be a brat," he said, "I just want to know how are you doing?"

"I was doing just fine until you arrived" he rolls his eyes and grabs you even tighter, your chests squeezed into each other "don't you have a date to go to?"

He smiled "but we are having fun" his hand went down your spine. Your eyes widen while you try to push him off.

"Get off me" you mad whispered a devilish smirk on his lips.

"Don't you miss being this close to me?" He whispered back. The smell of alcohol hits you. You looked into his reds eyes and a shiver ran down your spine, remembering the night he hit you. You pushed him once more and a laugh escaped from his lips "Don't you miss the feel of my lips" he kissed you in the neck.

"Stop it" your voice almost broke, making him chuckle.

"Everything ok?" The sudden voice makes you both turn.

"Yes, everything is ok" Liam answered.

Cooper looked you in the eyes and realized you were uncomfortable, not to say scared "May I have a dance with the lady?" He asked and without expecting an answer he grabs Liam's arm and took your hand "thank you" he gently pulled you from his grip and placed your hand in his shoulder, forcing Liam to let go of your other hand, you looked at the harsh expression on Liam's face, knowing this little conversation wasn't over, he walks away and you let go a relaxed sigh.

"thanks"

"Are you ok?" He asked and you nod "not that I want to intrude but you looked a little scared back there so can I ask what was that about?" He said as you two swung around with the slow music.

"He is my ex" you explained "we broke up a week ago"

"Oh I see" he nodded "so you were scared because he was drunk" you glanced at him with surprise "you could smell the guy from like 5 feets away" he said "not to mention his eyes gave him away" you didn't say anything and kept swinging around until the song ended "do you want to go grab something to drink?"

"Yeah I would like to" you both smiled as he offered you his arm, you took it laughing.

The Van parked in front of the Island Club and the guys hopped out of it, walking to a side of the big house when they could see the party going.

"Did you texted Sarah?" JJ asked.

"Yes she told me to give her 5 minutes" said John B. as the three arrived at the beach entrance of the terrace.

JJ glanced all over the people looking for the familiar faces of the girls when he saw you, close to where he was standing, his eyes wandered all your body, looking carefully at everything your dress covered and everything that doesn't. He already thought you were pretty, even if he didn't want to admit it, but tonight you were even more beautiful if that was possible, your hair fell over your shoulders to the middle of your back, your eyes looked brighter because of the makeup and your lips looked more provocative than ever. He swallowed thickly at the thoughts that went through his mind at the moment.

John B and Pope looked at his friend in his hypnosis and couldn't resist the quiet laugh that escaped from their mouths.

"Dude, are you ok?" Pope asked.

"What?" JJ turned around in confusion, making the guys laugh harder.

"You are so into y/n" John B said.

"No, I'm not" JJ lied.

"I've never seen that face on you before" Pope stated.

"What face?" JJ questioned.

"I should have taken a picture" said Pope and JJ roll his eyes.

"Why don't you admit it dude?" John B wrapped his arm around JJ's shoulders.

"There's nothing to admit" JJ growled.

"C'mon man" Pope started.

"Shut up" JJ huffed and got out of John B's arm "Call your girl, let's get out of here"

John B texted Sarah, telling her to invite you too.

JJ took s few steps away from the boys, so he could look at you without being teased, that is when he noticed that you weren't alone. You were talking and laughing to a Kook he knew too well. Jealousy filled his veins as he saw him guide you to another place, his hand in your back. He lost you in the crowd and walked back to the boys.

"Why are they taking so long?" JJ asked.

"They are just saying goodbye" John B lied.

You followed Cooper at one of the tables, while he talked about the trip his dad made him go to. He was nice but deep down gave you the same vibe as Rafe, he liked to brag about everything he had and the things he has done, thinking that made him more interesting. But the big difference was that you enjoyed his company and the fact that being with him kept Liam away.

"Hey y/n" Sarah interrupted him "we are going to the beach and the guys told me to invite you"

You felt your chest get warmer as a smile appeared on your face, not that you weren't having fun here but the fact that they wanted you to come with them made you happy.

"Sure I'll go" you nodded "just let me say goodbye" you turned your head to Cooper, he took a step ahead and kissed you on the cheek.

"See you around" he said.

You smiled and walked towards Lane to say goodbye, she hugged you.

You followed the girls towards the beach and got out the terrace, in the distance you saw the three guys standing. When you were close enough you and JJ locked stares. You gave him a little smile and he did the same.

"Well hello girls" John b talked, the three of you said hi. "Let's get going"

The group walked to the Van and hopped in, the drive to the beach was fun, music blasting through the speaker as they all sang along the lyrics. John B parked in front of an empty boneyard. You all got out of the van and Pope pulled out a keg beer and a pack of red solo cups. When you arrived at the sand, you and the other two took off your heels and walked towards the boys, where they were already making the bonfire. You all sat around it and started talking.

"Did you liked your first midsummer y/n?" Pope asked you.

"It was fun" you nodded "for a Kook party" everyone laughed.

"C'mon I saw you having fun with Cooper" Kie teased and winked at you. JJ rolls his eyes as the same warm he felt earlier filled his chest again.

"Cooper? Copper Miller?" John B. asked as you nod taking a sip from your beer. "I didn't know he was back"

The talk went on for a few minutes until Sarah came up with the idea of playing a drinking game.

"Let's play never have I ever!" She almost screamed. The group huffed at Sarah's idea.

"Ok I'll start" said Kie as she settled in the sand "I've never swum naked on the marsh" his eyes straight to JJ, he rolls his eyes and drinks the beer "I knew it!" She laughed.

"I've never sent someone a nude" he said knowing Kiara would drink, but for the surprise of everyone, you drank too.

"Look at that" Jonh B. teased.

JJ's glare fell on you, you looked at him, his eyes a little darker than before "you go" he said to you.

"I'm very bad at this" you chuckle "but since I'm pretty sure you all had… I've never gone surfing"

They all laughed and drank from their beers. The rest of the game went on, you and the rest of the group were laughing your lungs out, half of the barrel already gone. You felt your body warmer but couldn't know if it was for the alcohol or the fire in front of you, so when you touched your cheeks and barely felt anything you knew it was the alcohol. You were now seated in between Sarah and Kie. Once every couple of minutes you glanced up to find the blue eyes already looking at you, the orange light barely illuminating his face. You don't know if it was all because of the alcohol in your system but JJ was more handsome than ever, his messy blond hair back, his arms that showed off from his tank top, the blue eyes that got brighter every time he laughed and the constant smirk on his face made you feel something deep down in your stomach.

Every time JJ catched you looking at him made his chest feel tighter, he could notice that you were examining all of him, he saw your eyes wandering his body, a smirk covered his face, glad that he caught your attention. And he couldn't help but to do the same, every time you looked away he took the chance to look at you better, your dress raised up a little for how you were seating, showing more of your smooth skin, his eyes traveled all the way from your legs to your arms, giving a glance to your collarbones and cleavage, he stopped in your face, the cut on your lips was gone, your eyes were bright and narrowed a little every time you laughed or smiled.

Let's go to the water" said Sarah all of the sudden taking you both out of your trance. Everyone agreed screaming and got up in a jump, leaving you alone in the sand.

"You are not coming?" JJ asked making everyone to look at you

You shook your head "I… I don't like it"

"You don't like the water?" asked Pope with confusion.

"No, it just that…" you shrug "It scares me" you admitted murmuring.

"What scares you exactly?" JJ asked frowning his browns.

"It's dark, I can't see my feets" all of them resisted the laugh.

"C'mon at least soak your feets a little" Sarah insisted.

You nodded and stood up, not without stumbling, realizing that you were more than a little drunk. They chuckled at you, you did the same. The guys took off their shirts and threw them in the sand. You walked behind them, and couldn't stop yourself from biting your lower lip as you looked at JJ's back.

"I'll wait for you here" you said as you stopped walking when the water hit your ankles, grabbing your dress by the edge.

They all nodded. You saw how they jumped into the water, swimming away, heads popping out in the distance, water until their necks. It gave you chills only to look at them and the thought of being next to them. From where you stand you could see John B and Sarah hugging and Pope and Kie dangerously close, JJ was nowhere to be found, which worried you, but he popped out close to them. You closed your eyes, feeling the sand in between your toes and the sound of the waves, a bad idea because since you were drunk you felt like everything around was moving. You opened your eyes again and played with the sand in your feets. You hear a little splash and saw JJ closer to you, he swam until he could be on his feet and walked until the water arrived at his waist. You took a couple of steps, water now arriving at your knees.

"I see you are getting brave" he teased.

"No, I'm not" you chuckled "maybe is the beer" JJ laughed.

"Take another step" he said and you shook your head "C'mon y/n" he insisted "here take my hand" you shook your head again "C'mon trust me"

"I don't want to ruin the dress" you offered as an excuse.

"You can always take it to the laundry" he said quickly "Just until your waist"

You gave him a doubting glare but accepted his hand, he smiled at you, making his eyes almost shut. You started to walk towards him, without realizing that with every step you made he made one too, going deeper. The water arrived at your waist quickly and you stopped.

"C'mon" he looked at you right in the eyes. You don't know why but you took another step, making him smile. JJ felt something jumped in his stomach at the fact that you trusted him to take another step. In the distance, the other four were watching you two, glances in between them.

The water was now at your chest, the fabric of the dress stuck to your body, you breathed heavily and didn't know if it was for the cold water or the terror of not seeing half of your body.

"Don't look down, look at me" JJ said and you nodded. His blue eyes looking straight at yours and the wet hair all over his head, half of his naked chest was still outside. You squeezed his hand, he took another step, and suddenly JJ had the water on his neck. "Ok, just one more y/n"

As you took that last steep you felt the sand disappeared down at your feets. "Oh my God," you whispered.

He grabbed you by your forearms, you did the same thing. He smiled at you and you did it back "See it's not that bad" he said making you laugh.

"Said that to yourself" you replied.

You looked at him now that he was so close, scanning his face, the little scar on his cheek, probably from a recent fight, his blue eyes, his lips, he was definitely the most handsome guy you have seen since you arrived in Outer Banks. You thought that since the day he leaned over the table at the ice cream shop, but you had only admitted to yourself now.

"Don't look at me like that" he said, but he didn't mean it. He liked the way your eyes wandered in his face.

Your checks tinted in red as you let go a little laugh "sorry"

The next thing he did, he did it on purpose, JJ carefully moved one of his feet closer to your leg, barely touching you. You jumped in the water pulling him closer to you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his around your waist, pulling you even closer, your chests squeezed into other others. JJ felt something in his chest, happy that his plan worked out, not sorry at all.

"Something touched my leg" you said, your mouth in his ear.

"Maybe a little fish" he said grabbing you tightly.

You two stayed like that for a while, you were too scared to talk so JJ just enjoyed having you that close.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

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midnightmoonkiss · 4 years

Text

Painful Stings & Sweet Apologies

Yandere! Izuku Midoriya X Fem! Reader

Summary: Rage fueled by failure, Izuku finds comfort in a bar, only to come home to a broken promise and a furious darling. He didn’t mean for this to happen.

WARNINGS!: blood, violence, alcohol (Izuku under the influence)

Category: Angst, one-sided fluff

Word Count: 9k+

A/N: This is my first yandere fic! I’m nervous as hell, I have no idea if I got this right lol. Though I did spend months perfecting it to the best of my abilities! Hope you enjoy~

Just To Clarify:

You’re both adults

It’s Friday

It’s cold and rainy (naturally--)

Izuku’s bedroom has a walk in closet and a bathroom

the kitchen is off-limits

THIS IS A YANDERE FIC!

Izuku is an obsessive yandere~

Cold, burning liquid rushed down the male’s throat as he gulped at the drink within the short glass.

Whiskey, or more specifically - a Jack Daniels, the honey-brown alcohol that delivered a bitter slap to all those who drank its refreshing nectar.

It wasn’t his usual drink, and certainly not one he’d ever guzzle like a parched beast.

Hell, who in their right mind would do that? Even with a single sip, it left your chest burning with its heat.

But desperate times call for desperate measures, right?

Or, more of, self-loathing times call for a quick, one-way ticket to Forget-Me Ville and Cringe Island.

The bar he sat at was lively, filled with drunken laughter and slurred speeches of men and women who have been out for far too long.

But it was Friday night, so who cared?

A rainy, cold, sucky, depressing Friday night, one of which his friends tried to make a bit better by taking the pissed off, green-haired hero out for drinks.

They certainly hadn’t expected Izuku, an innocent little guy who couldn’t handle his liquor for shit, to shoot down an entire glass of whiskey.

At first, he ordered a simple beer - a starter drink if you will.

It didn’t take but ten minutes for him to gulp that glass down, and he was onto his next drink - a sangria wine cooler. His typical drink. He always was more of a fruity guy, after all, preferring the sweet tang over the bitter bite.

But as the night raged on, and so did his inner turmoil, he kept ordering stronger and stronger drinks, until he got to the whiskey. You could say he lost his sense of reason a while ago.

He was still seething with rage, not as much as before but the mixture of anger and frustration swirled hotly with the alcohol pumping through his veins and sitting in his belly.

You could say it was keeping him warm in this lifeless atmosphere.

For the first time in what felt like forever, he didn’t think of you, his precious little darling. He could barely think straight, mind occupied with too many thoughts to be able to understand any of them. It was all a garbled mess, one he chose to ignore.

Was that a good or a bad thing? He’d find out later.

But for now?

He needed another drink.

In the beginning, this Friday seemed like it was going to be one of the best he’ll ever have.

For months this pro hero has been working alongside detectives with catching a murderous villain known by the name “Ghoul.”

They were sick and twisted, their motives unknown, their trail hard to tract.

He had only one encounter with them, but he was too late to catch them.

That’s the day he was brought in to help aid the case.

But, that day haunted him for weeks. He knew that if he had arrived at the bloody scene sooner, he could have captured that cannibalistic fuck, brought justice to those who had already died by their mangy hands.. and prevented the deaths that would ensue after.

He’d known horrible villains before, but this one was different. Their teeth were sharp, blood permanently stained their clothes, and they gave off a wolfish vibe. Yes, a hunter. One who tore flesh from human bones and munched on it until someone screamed in terror for help.

For months he helped gather intel, piece puzzle pieces together, aid with location predictions and stakeout missions, until finally - they found that bastard.

It was more of a hunch than anything really, that Ghoul would show up to that site.

Ghoul, while hard to track, left a pattern in their wake. They avoided certain areas, thrived where the poor were at their weakest. The murders always seemed to happen at the exact same time behind run-down fast-food restaurants.

It was unclear if the sicko liked a hearty human meal with their victims own stomachs filled with greasy, fattening food, or if it was just convenient to them, either way - the perp was too damn sloppy.

To regular ol’ police personnel, the murders would just always happen there, behind restaurants.

But after Deku’s team began tracking where each and every murder occurred, it was quite easy to tell they were drawing, funnily enough, a circle around the city’s map.

It was stupid, childish, and downright idiotic, but damn if that didn’t lead the team to find the cold-blooded killer.

Adrenaline and pure hatred for the villain fueled Deku’s onslaught of attacks, each seemingly more powerful and less calculated. His mind was muddled.

He was filled with rage, finally being able to see the shitty excuse of a human again, but it affected his movements. He was being hasty, careless, not his usual calculated self.

And that’s what brought him his demise.

His shoulder was harshly bitten, razor-sharp teeth tearing through the fabric of his suit and shredding up the skin on his shoulder. Their quirk pumped through his blood instantly, making him collapse onto his knees, paralyzed. He hissed in pain as the sickeningly warm liquid flowed down his arm, unable to stop himself from face planting onto the dirty gravel of the alleyway.

He had lost, and Ghoul got away.

He still remembers it, after all, it was only hours ago that it happened.

The sun had long since set, the crescent moon hung high in the sky as her stars shimmered around her. His wound was stitched up and healed by doctors, leaving only a bitter scar to remind him of his failure.

He failed not only himself but those who counted on him.

God, he sucked.

And so, he ordered another drink.

He wanted to forget. He didn’t want to feel the failure sting at his fragile heart anymore.

It was too much to take.

What type of hero let the villain get away, knowing full well that they would kill again?

They couldn’t track Ghoul’s trail anymore, for the circle had been completed - and they were left with nothing with the numbing feeling of brutal loss.

Hours blurred together as his mind went hazy. His speech slurred together, dull, green eyes unfocused and mouth blabbering out nonsense to his friends that he couldn’t even really hear. It just- came out.

Soon enough, he was being dragged out of the bar by his annoyingly sober friends.

The night had gotten colder since they first entered the warm bar, rain pelted down like freezing bullets flying from a machine gun. A dirty old awning kept them dry as they stood still at the front of the bars entrance, the loud music bouncing off the walls inside echoed down the empty streets.

Heavy streams of salty rainwater poured off the edge of the awning, splattering down into a mud puddle that emptied into the sewer grate below.

Who doesnt love the musty stench of rain on asphalt?

Hell, the smell itself, combined with the strong yet savory scent of the Korean barbeque joint across the street was enough to make him nauseous. He had drank far too much, and his stomach was suffering the consequences. He should have eaten more before drinking. How foolish.

“It’s pretty late, you should head home.” Reasoned his best friend, Todoroki, puffs of condensation leaving his mouth as the warm breath met cold air, pressing a freezing hand to the back of the freckled boy's sweaty neck to jolt his drowsy, drunken self into a more alert state. Nothing but time could sober you up, but damn if that hand didn’t help slap some energy into him.

“Yeaahh, ye-yeahhh.. I gooht you Todooroe.” God, he sounded like someone high on anesthesia after being awoken from a surgery - which he definitely would be able to compare this experience to. Being a hero meant at least a few surgeries a year. Comes with the job.

Plus, this wasn’t the first time he’s been drunk.

He sure as hell hated the aftermath, but some nights it felt as if the hot burn of alcohol was the only thing that could keep him sane.

This was just one of those nights - or perhaps it was multiple nights slammed into one from just how stupidly drunk he was. The world was blurred, and Izuku doubted he could even walk straight at this point.

The half and half hero waved down a stray taxi, street water splashing up onto the sidewalk as the yellow vehicle came to a screeching halt.

“Get home safe.” Todoroki sighed out his nose at seeing his friends out-of-it state, helping the giddy and jelly-like hero into the back seat.

Izuku pouted, grabby hands clinging onto his friend's shirt in protest.

With a half-hearted chuckle, Todoroki pried himself free from his grip, handing the cab driver more than enough yen to get the drunk boy home.

He gave the taxi driver an address, and soon the car was rolling off down the street, Izukus flushed face pressed against the cold, fogging glass and staring with eyes full of tears at his friend.

Though, it seemed as if he had forgotten a promise he made to someone very important to him. Someone who he devoted his entire life to.

Someone who he risked everything for.

You.

His princess who had been locked in a small, dark room all day, wrists tightly cuffed to loose chains on the wall. The only light provided was a rusty oil lamp Izuku had gotten at a yard sale one day. The flame was dull, and left the room covered in shadows.

The tile below was as cold as it had been since the morning when Izuku had forcefully chained you there for misbehaving the night before.

You had deserved this punishment for disobeying him.

That’s what he tried to convince, anyway.

He was only trying to keep you safe! He hated punishing you, hated the way you thrashed and screamed at him in protest - that only meant he had to be rougher with you. You had broken into the most dangerous room in the apartment, afterall.

The kitchen.

There were far too many harmful objects in there!

Knives that could slice your delicate skin to shreds, forks that could jab into your body, hot stoves that could leave you with a nasty burn, and canned food stored too high up on the shelf that could fall and hit your head.. It was for your protection that the kitchen was off-limits to you!

Plus, Izuku, your oh-so kind and sweet boyfriend, had no problem with cooking you meals to eat together. In fact, he loved it!

He felt accomplished whenever you'd hum in approval at his cooking, or even turned on if that slutty mouth of yours just so happened to moan around your utensil.

Those were the nights dinner was forgotten.

But you had been foolish, entering the kitchen for a midnight snack whilst Izuku was out on patrol. Your sneaky little self thought you were clever, leaving no trace of your betrayal.

Until you were awoken hours later by a green glow, blood running cold as a pair of murderous neon eyes stared into yours.

It had to be one of the scariest sights to date.

His pupils were shrunk, green electricity buzzing around his large body. He hovered over your trembling body, a wrapper in between his two gloved fingers.

He was so close, your noses brushed together.

You swore he could see into your soul, as well as see the fear in your (E/C) eyes.

“What is this, (Y/N)?” He had asked innocently, hurt coating his words.

“I-” you wanted to make an excuse, protest, say it wasn’t yours, but every single letter died on your tongue as his face pressed closer, a sadistic smile overtaking his features.

“You didn’t.. You didn’t go into the kitchen, did you?”

His hot, minty breath blew all over your face as he spoke, and you shriveled back in fear as insanity crossed his expression in that way you were far too familiar with.

The giggles bubbled in his throat as he tried to fight logic with delusion, “It wasn’t you, right? Someone broke in, didn’t they? You wouldn’t break my trust, would you?”

His voice was cracking, fingers digging into the flesh of the bed beneath you as his eye began to twitch.

He stared down at you, curly green hair brushing against the sides of your face, waiting far too long for an answer he would never get. His bottom lip wobbled, feat tears welling up in his eyes and falling onto your pale cheeks as his body shook with anger and sadness.

He was already stressed about the following mornings mission, and to come home to his princess betraying his trust was not something he enjoyed.

And so, you were punished.

But he had promised you wouldnt be locked in there for long, he knew how you feared the dark. He had conditioned you to fear it, after all. It was his greatest accomplishment.

You were always so willing to cuddle into him when the lights were off.

A few hours turned into nearly an entire day, the only indication you had of this was past experiences, skin around your wrists rubbed raw from the metal cuffs, and the unusual sting of your ass and bare legs burning from the freezing tile beneath you.

That was the least of your worries, though.

Worst of all - the flame, which was holding you together and keeping you from crying out for help to those who might hear you in this soundproof room, which would no doubt get you a harsher punishment, was about to die out.

That flame, albeit small, was your only hope of surviving this.

Izuku was typically a very reliable person, it was strange for him to not keep his word to you. He devoted his being to you, worshipped the ground you regrettably walked upon, why would he break his own promise?

The thought of being trapped in the dark, the echo of your chains taunting your delirious mind had you close to tears. You didn’t want to be alone here anymore.

You watched in horror as the flame got smaller and smaller, tears now rolling down your cheeks as you pleaded under your breath for it to last longer.

The air vents around you provided enough oxygen for it to survive, but that damn oil..

Where was he?!

Suddenly, the door to his apartment flew open, giggles seeping through the house and teasing your ears.

Then, there was no more light.

A screech tore from your throat, a desperate call of his name as you thrashed around, tears pouring from your eyes.

You felt as if you couldnt breathe as your head whipped around the space, desperate for more air and light as your lungs seemed to scream.

You couldnt feel the cold chill of the floor anymore, body numb as adrenaline pumped through your veins.

What was in the dark?

How big was this space again?

Rather, how small was it?

What was that noise?

Did something just touch you?

There was wind, there was wind, no. A cold chill?

Oh god what was that-

Loud, clumsy footsteps made their way closer and closer to the locked metal door. You sobbed as your heard the jingle of keys, metal scraping against metal as he fumbled with inserting them into the lock.

Until finally, you were basked in the honey-dew glow of the bedroom.

You fought to control your breathing as he dropped to his knees, taking far too long for your liking to get the cuffs off.

But at least now you know why he took so god damn long.

You could smell the putrid miasma of alcohol wafting off him the moment he stepped into the darkroom, tainted with the salty effluvium of rainwater as it dripped onto your skin from his damp, messy hair.

Rage bubbled inside you as he giggled once more at your tear-stained cheeks, “D-did yoou miss mee?” He slurred, a giddy smile on his face as the stale stench of what he had been drinking all night circled around your head like a rotten wreath.

Instead of answering, like you knew you should have, you turned your head towards the door, soaking in the light you were previously deprived of. Even if it was just a mere minute.

At your silence, his smile quickly turned into a frown. Big, forestry green eyes welled up with sadness, bottom lip trembling, “(Y-Y/N)?” He couldnt help but reach out, scarred fingers wishing to wipe away those stray tears from your face.

You missed him.

That’s why you were crying, surely.

He wanted to comfort you, say that he was there now and that you could both cuddle until twinkling dawn.

You weren’t alone anymore.

He was all you needed, and he was right beside you.

He’ll always be there for you, and you’ll always be there for him.

Because you love each other.

“D-Don’t cry-”

His cold hand was smacked away, and his usually sturdy body was shoved back so that you could scramble out of the freezing closet.

You needed space.

More room to breath.

To be on flooring that didnt feel like ice cutting into your flesh.

Hell, you were sure the skin that had the unholy misfortune of touching the floor were burned red at this point from how long you had to sit there.

Not to mention your poor wrists, you couldnt even bear the sight of them being so raw. You were pretty sure they would bleed if you even touched them. Your body was screaming in pain, stomach growing for food, mouth parched from not being given water so that you wouldnt make a mess on the floor.

You were weak, shaking, and afraid.

That bastard had the gall to say not to cry, to look concerned when he knew damn well how much you absolutely despised the dark.

At first it was a childish fear, but the moment he snatched you from your regular life, that fear became a reality. There were countless nights you’d be punished by being left alone in the dark.

He didnt want to hurt you, no, and he never has, but damn if he hasnt conditioned you to be afraid.

Storms were the worst.

What was once a peaceful white noise turned into a terrifying nightmare once the moon rose in the sky.

There were times you were locked in that closet during violent storms, screaming and begging to be let out.

Sometimes you were, other times you werent as lucky.

Though it was only raining right now, each pitter-patter of the droplets against the window or balcony made hairs on your neck stand up. The sound was previously muted in the closet, but now it was hitting you like a freight train on a track that never seemed to end.

You heard him scramble to his feet as you wiped your tears away, the creak of the floorboards as he stumbled towards you.

A subtle bang made you jump, his foot no doubt hitting the chest at the end of your bed. Everso the clumsy one, even in an illuminated room.

Suddenly, he was right behind you, arms wrapping tightly around your middle as his head dropped to your shoulder, nuzzling his cheek against your neck.

Perhaps it would have been pleasant, comforting, even, if he wasnt soaked to the bone. The cold water from his dark grey, long-sleeved sweater was now seeping into your own thin clothes, freezing wet hair sending shivers down your spine and it presses against your heated, sensitive skin. Some drops even went down your back, ripping a gasp from you.

This wasnt comforting at all.

This was suffocating.

You squirmed in his grasp, desperate to get the hell away from him.

You were already pissed, and him wrapping around you and squeezing you tight like a snake to its prey was the cherry on top of your disastrous sundae.

With a grunt, you used the rest of what little strength you had left to rip yourself free from his ‘hug,’ nearly tripping on your own two feet as you rushed away from him.

He pouted at you as you shoved yourself into a corner of the room, finding comfort in being able to see all around you, no surprise attacks from behind, only what was in front of you.

Your breath was heavy as you glared at him, nostrils flaring and jaw clenching.

Truly, you had some nerve.

But it was hard to help it.

He broke a promise.

He never does that, and yet in your time of need- he wasn’t there for you.

For once.

He knew damn well you were locked up, scared shitless, expecting him to return home in a few short hours, yet here he is - looking absolutely clueless as to why you were suddenly so angry at him.

Tears streamed down his drunkenly flushed cheeks, hurt by how you shoved him away again.

All he wanted to do was snuggle you, his body exhausted yet numbed by the alcohol still burning in his tummy.

“Where..” you started, voice low, scratchy, and dripping with venom that reached deaf ears. “Where have you been!”

Just as he was about to open that mouth of his, no doubt about babble nearly incoherently - form logical excuses with evidence to back him up, say he lost track of time which you know damn well he never did, you shut him up.

You hated dealing with him when he was drunk, hell - you hated dealing with his obsessive ass most days.

But drunk? Drunk he got worse. He was clingy, more emotional, and worst of all? He didn’t have a filter.

He always managed to hide those more sinister desires under that sweet mask of his - until alcohol brought it out.

God, the smell of it made you sick to your stomach, but luckily you didn't have any food to throw up.

No thanks to him.

“What the fuck, Midoriya?!” You leered at him, noticing quickly the way his eyes darkened in that way they always did when you referred to him by his family name - the name he hated being called by you of all people.

“I’ve been trapped in that room all goddamn day! You said it’d be a few hours? What the hell happened to that! Look at the fucking time! Nine hours! Nine hours I’ve been stuck in my own personal hell! I can’t feel my fucking legs because of you!”

“I-” he attempted to start, the firm grip he had on his sanity quickly loosening with every shout you threw at him.

You cut him off, again, pent up rage now overtaking your sense of reason and fear, “What the hell happened?! You know what! I don’t even care! Not only did you,” You pointed a trembling finger at his stilled body, “break a promise! Something you swore you would never fucking do, you also had the nerve at laugh at me as I was trembling in fear!”

You looked like a mess, body shaking and bent over itself, one arm clutched around your waist as if to hold yourself together as that accusing finger stayed trained on him. Your hair was messy, frizzy, soaked with sweat and oily as hell from being denied a shower. Your clothes, thin and girly - much to your utter distaste, but to his satisfaction - now damp thanks to his carelessness.

All of this was because of him.

It always was.

Every single thing that went wrong in your life always seemed to be because of him nowadays.

You couldnt believe you let yourself fall for that misleading smile all those years ago, only to end up like this.

A mouse in a lions den.

But hell if that would stop you from squeaking your heart out till his razor-sharp claws ultimately caged you back in.

“Do you see my wrists?!” with a strangled sob, you held up both of your arms to show him the mess he already knew was his fault, “look at them! They hurt so fucking much because you left me in those disgusting handcuffs! This is all your fault!”

Your knees were wobbling so bad you swore your legs would give out at any second, but you’d be damned if you didnt hold your ground to this lunatic.

True, some days he was nice, normal, even. But days like these, or days much worse, you were reminded of just who he really was.

A monster was stretching it. He never intentionally tried to hurt you, your friends, or even your family.

No, he just stole you from your apartment in the dead of night, convinced the reason you were crying was because of the thunderstorm and not because some psycho snatched you from your window like some sort of 1970’s movie trope. That night he cradled your thrashing body to his hard chest with his strong arms, cooing at you and whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you begged to be let go. You were just scared of the storm~ He would keep you safe~ He is the number one hero, afterall~

That was all utter bullshit, straight from the beginning.

And even now he was still wrapped in the delusion that you loved him as much as he loved you.

A fated pair.

Please.

But you still held on to the pathetic hope that one day he’d snap out of it, return to the Izuku you knew from the beginning and not the person who now stood a few feet in front of you, staring with cold, emotionless eyes.

“I’m sorry.” he says impassively, face as blank as a new canvas - unreadable and dangerous in every way imaginable. It was hard not to feel as if he was just waiting to strike, already calculating his next moves like he always seemed to do. It was far easier to deal with an angry Izuku than one where you couldn’t read his already complex emotions, thoughts, anything. He was the definition of expressive, and it truly took a fuckin bullet to the back of his head for him to be like this.

So clearly, you hit a nerve.

Wonderful.

“Oh?” Despite knowing the implications of the situation you found yourself in, it was impossible not to laugh at such a pathetic fucking apology.

Knowing him, he probably was sorry, deep down inside. You knew he didn’t like seeing you hurt, especially if it was because of his doing, and yet- you pressed on.

Pent up anger was a nasty thing to deal with, especially since it’s been brewing inside you for so long.

“Are you now? You don’t fucking seem sorry! If you were really sorry, you wouldnt have done it! But look where we are! You’re such a fucking-!”

“Shut up.” he growls out borderline maliciously, stumbling slightly as he turns to walk out the door. He was clearly fed up, his strong hands clenched into threatening fists, but so were you. Even if you were undeniably frightened to confront him, you wouldn't let that stop you from pushing yourself off the wall - your safe space - and wobbling after him.

“Look at you! You can’t even walk right! How drunk are you, huh? Washing away your feelings again, are you? What about my feelings! Huh?!”

You were pushing it.

You really were.

The entire house felt it, the air chillingly still as Izuku had to grind his teeth together so as to not lash out at you.

He didn’t want to.

That was the last thing he wanted to do, but all that stress and self-hatred previously washed away was coming back up to the burning surface that cages his discretion.

Heavy breaths blew out his nostrils as he made his way to the living room, desperate for you to get the hint from his hunched over body that he wanted you to fuck off.

Yeah, he messed up, deep down he knew he did but currently his mind was far too clogged to even begin to comprehend it.

You were like an annoying mosquito, your words morphing into a persistent buzz.

He was ignoring you, and that made you livid.

He always ignored you when your problems were deemed irrelevant, or when he found you were being far too vexatious.

He always did this, always.

You were trapped in a cell with some asshole who didn't even want to listen to you.

Obviously, you had enough.

Typically you’d back off, go fume in another room or punch the wall till the skin around your knuckles tore open and dripped blood everywhere, making him snap out of whatever state he was in just to suffocate you in his toxic love.

Oh how life proved to be full of surprises.

A low growl of your own slithered passed your teeth, eyes practically burning red as if you prayed you had a quirk that could do something against him.

“You’re a selfish bastard! You fucking piss-poor excuse of a hero-!”

SLAP!

A shrill scream tore from your raw throat, the echo of skin burning against skin dizzying you as you were thrown back onto the floor.

Boiling hot tears streamed down your face as you sobbed out of pure fear, body shaking uncontrollably and you shuffled backward, desperate to get yourself as far away from him as you could currently manage.

It had all happened so fast, you didn't even have time to register it as it occurred.

One moment his hands were gripping the back of the couch with such strength you could see his knuckles turn a ghostly white, and the next, crackling, neon-green lightning surrounded his body, illuminating the dim apartment in a slimy glow. Before you even had a chance to register just what happened, he whipped his head around, his eyes, typically blown wide with sickening love and sparkling under delusional illusions, were narrowed and glowing in a way that sent shivers of immense regret down your spine. His arm whipped back with his hand, the very hand that delivered a painfully paralyzing slap.

He always spoke with his hands, and you just happened to be too close to him at that moment.

The reddended skin of your cheek burned, and you swore you could feel more than just tears streaming down it.

You were stuck shaking on the floor, imaginary bile rising in your throat, and all you could do was stare at him with wide, bloodshot and terrified eyes.

He had never laid a hand on you like that before, you didnt know what to think.

He always promised to do you no intentional harm, to never lay a finger on you with intentions of making you cry out in pain.

He had never acted so feral and out of line before.

It.. it scared you in a way you never felt before.

The gap between you grew, you really were just a mouse trembling in a lion's den.

“P-princess-” he shakily called out, voice weak and uneven, quirk diminishing into thin air like it never was there in the first place.

His own eyes were wide and filled with immense regret, tears already pouring down his flushed, freckled face.

He took one step forward, and you scrambled back, hand coming up to touch at your cheek, shock making you feel faint at the sight of blood coating your trembling fingertips.

You felt sick once again, empty stomach feeling as if it was collapsing in on itself to push even the tiniest bit of nonexistent food out.

You didnt know what to do.

Choking on your own sobs, you tried desperately to shuffle away from him, but he only came closer.

You cried out the moment he dove at you, your hands clasped together tightening against your chest as if to hold yourself together as this bear of a man wraps his arms cold, soaked arms protectively around you, his large shoulders violently shaking as he buried his snotty, tear stained face deep into your unruly tresses.

The stench of alcohol burned your nostrils, edging you on to try and push his heavy chest away. You tried, but you failed miserably, resulting in his arms pulling you even closer to his sweaty and damp body. It was disgusting.

“L-let go of me!” you wailed, your own tears stinging your eyes as your vision blurred and you could no longer tell just what you were staring blindly at, the dimness of the living-room paired with the suffocating embrace of your captor swallowing you whole.

You couldnt take it.

You could barely breathe at this point.

“p-p-ple .. plea-s-se..!” your cries intertwined with his own desperate ones as he babbled nearly incoherently on about how sorry he was, how he never meant to do something so horrible.

“I’m not a monster!” he howled out, desperate words seeping with ululation.

He was desperately trying to convince himself of that.

He wasn’t talking to you at all.

He was talking to himself.

He wasn’t a monster.

He’s not like him.

He’s not like that piece of filth.

No, he’s so much better.

He’s a good man.

No, no, he’s not a monster.

He’s your hero.

He could never purposely harm you.

No.

It was an accident.

An accident.

You’d understand.

He knew you would!

You always understood him.

You were like two peas in a pod!

You forgave him, surely.

Yes.

Yes!

You did the moment he hugged you, the moment he started comforting you.

He was a good man.

How could you not forgive him?

He loved you so, so, so much.

You knew that-

You knew he would never do such a thing.

His breathing was even, eyes wide and straining as he stared at the floor, a crooked smile on his face as he repeated the words over and over again in his twisted mind.

He never met to hurt you.

No.

He didnt.

“Plea-” you tried once more, biting your wobbling lip as he squeezed you even tighter.

“No, no, no, no, no, no..” he heaved out, hand coming up to gently pet your oily hair as if to calm you. His head shook back and forth in your hair, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m so sorry, honey.”

There was nothing you could do.

You were stuck alone in a mouse trap, the cold, metallic bar snapped down on top of your frail neck.

There was no escape.

There never was.

His form of ‘love’ far too strong for you to even attempt to.

And so, you gave up.

Just like you always did.

There was no point in resisting him.

Sticky blood trickles down your raw cheek, dripping down onto the chilled bare skin of his neck, still cold from the damp clothes he wore, instantly catching his wondering attention.

“You.. you’re bleeding?” he whispered guiltily, already feeling a new wave of salty tears building up in the corner of his eyes.

His large left hand trailed up the skin of your neck, idly collecting the thin trail of red liquid onto his fingertips and smearing a path up to your jawline, stopping the moment your shivering form flinched.

He frowned at the red mark taking up half your beautifully innocent face, a small cut resting in the middle of it where no doubt the ring he foolishly wore as an accessory swiped.

Guilt made his stomach churn, the familiar burn of acid rising in his throat.

A deep inhale, and he swallowed it down, arm still wrapped around you, languidly rubbing your back as he stared with nothing short of pity at your wrecked state.

Your lips wobbled, holding in a reply as you force yourself to look into the vast abyss of darkness that was the hallway of your apartment instead of his orbs gleaming with concern.

Concern.

Concern for something he caused.

At least he had a heart, but you were still scared shitless and wanted nothing more than to run away. You were still fighting to regulate your breathing.

His thumb suddenly pressed against the slap mark, ripping a yelp from your throat as your head flung back to avoid any more contact. It was then that you noticed a pounding headache echoing inside your skull, yet another reason to aid in the water running down your face. Pain consumed your body, and you wanted nothing more than to escape this shell you were trapped in.

Openly chewing on his lip, both of his arms went back around you, cradling your delicate form to his chest.

Without a word, he stood up, practically forcing you to have to wrap your bare legs around his waist to keep yourself steady, something you were trained to do by him. He loved it when your legs were around his waist whenever he picked you up.

It became a regrettable second nature.

Heavy foot steps brought you back to your bedroom, and then into the bathroom connected to it.

Your fears crept up your spine at the pitch black room you were forced into, remembering how you were in a similar position just a few minutes ago.

When would this cycle end?

Ah.

It wouldnt, would it?

You were set delicately down atop the cold marble counter as if you were a fragile piece of glass, which, in many ways, you were. The tears had at least stopped, but your body continuously shook like a chihuahua, your breathing still hard to control as fumbled around mindlessly with your fingers to serve as a distraction.

He flipped the light on, momentarily blinding your sensitive gaze with its bright light.

Sniffing, you wiped at your nose, watching as he walked about the bathroom, grabbing a wash cloth just to run it under cool water. The rain was still heavily pouring just outside the wall mixed with the loud splatters of the stream against the white sink. It would have been calming had cold water not splashed up onto your bare thighs, making goosebumps prickle along your skin. Your thighs were nearly numb at this point.

After ringing most of the water out, he held it up to your cheek, staring at you.

Taking the cue, you hesitantly took the cool, wet cloth from his grasp and gingerly pressed it to the swelling skin on your face. You hiss out in pain, dry sobs wracking your body at the stinging pain and the fact that he was still far too close for you to currently handle.

The pain on your cheek paired with the numbing cold was a good distraction.

You chewed on your lip as you squeezed your eyes shut, freehand gripping tightly at the hem of your shirt as you listen to him fumble around in the cabinet hanging over to the left.

You jumped the moment you felt his larger fingers ghost over the ones holding the cloth to your cheek, cautious (E/C) eyes opening ever so slightly as you looked over at him.

You couldnt help but feel idiotic as you suddenly felt flustered at the intense gaze he was giving you, eyes now gleaming viridescent in the white light of the bathroom almost staring right into your soul.

It was like he was reading you, pulling words off your own frail pages just so he could recite them to you.

He did this often.

Keeping silent, staring for long periods of times as he tried out scenarios in his head of the words he was going to say.

It gave you chills, but yet, it made you feel like you were the center of his drifting attention.

The sun his planets revolve tirelessly around, repeating the same cycles like a record forever skipping on repeat.

In these moments, though, he became an enigma.

Not exactly something your fragile state of mind entirely needed right now.

You shivered when his palm came to cup your soft jawline, thumb absentmindedly tracing over your parted lips.

His mouth opened, ready to say something, but he stayed quiet.

Mouth shutting, he leaned forward, tentatively bringing you into another hug.

“I’m sorry.” he repeated, the words nearly as quiet as your stilled breath, but you had nothing to say to it. And he knew it.

He was used to you staying silent.

He would prefer it most of the time.

So he could sink into his fantasies, the deluded fantasies that you loved him wholeheartedly, that you chose to stay silent as to not hurt his feelings, and always forgave him no matter what.

That you would forever and always be his.

He wouldnt give you the choice not to be.

He wouldnt let you leave when you’re his favorite person in the whole wide world.

The only one he needed.

And he was the only one you needed.

Yes.

Of course.

You didn’t need anyone else but him.

And he didn’t need anyone else but you.

So what if a few more people died because of his mistake, he would capture Ghoul eventually. Regardless, he would always come home to you.

Always.

And that’s all he needed.

He chucked against your neck, having buried it in the crook as his mind slipped through his shaky fingertips.

The Big Bad Wolf and his Little Red Riding Hood.

God how he loved the comparison.

Perhaps he was addicted.

Addicted to you.

Even now, as he inhaled your sugary sweet, natural scent stained with the metallic smell of dried blood.

Pulling back, he gazed into your hesitant eyes, delicately resting his forehead against yours.

His hair, now dry and no longer dripping with salty rain, tickled your skin, making you involuntarily take in a deep breath.

Closing his eyes once more, he soaks in the moment of your warm body in his frigid embrace, nothing else mattered to him.

Just you.

Only you.

“L-let me see your cheek,” he asks softly, words not as wobbly as before, afraid that if he spoke too loudly in such a thin atmosphere, everything would shatter abruptly like glass.

Your body moved on instinct as if you were used to doing as he asked immediately no matter what, pulling the cool cloth away from your burning cheek.

Resisting the urge to sniffle and flinch away, you allow him to rewet the cloth, holding still as he dabs lightly at the small wound.

“I know it hurts,” he breathes out, “shh, shh, it’s okay.” it was always so strange how his voice still managed to calm your nerves even after all you’ve been through.

Deep down, you knew he was still that loving and energetic boy you met back at that coffee shop.

If only you knew how sinister and twisted he could really be.

Perhaps.. perhaps you wouldn’t be in such a situation now.

But there was never any point in pondering the what-ifs.

All you could do was fight your mind from seeking normalities in such a relationship as this, if you could even call it that.

You wouldn’t succumb to his desires like you always did.

You wouldnt lose yourself.

No.

You couldn’t let that happen.

Or was it too late already?

You hissed when you felt the stinging seer of rubbing alcohol dotted onto your cut, cleaning the wound.

“It’s okay.” he repeats, cooing to you with a reassuring smile that should have made you feel sick all over again.

You let him apply antibiotic ointment and a small cheek bandage, his hands shaky yet careful. You could say he has experience in applying bandages.

It was uncomfortable as it sat on your raw skin, but it’s not like you were going to go and rip it off. That would feel like ripping off a wax strip on a sunburn.

Humming, he gingerly wipes away the dried blood on your neck with the same washcloth, not minding how blood-stained the innocently white fabric became.

Next came your still aching wrists. There wasn’t much he could do for your legs, but at least he had roll-on bandages on standby.

Turning the cold tap on, he lets you run them under cool water before gently dabbing the stray droplets away, careful not to press too hard.

He really needed to invest in softer handcuffs, it’s just- those were the only ones he had, and he didn’t use them often. Besides, it never got this bad before. But that wasn’t a good excuse.

He’d have to order some online tomorrow..

Applying more ointment around the area, the kind that offers instant relief, he wraps your smaller wrists up as best he could, cringing himself whenever you’d flinch.

He’d make it up to you.. Pancakes in the morning, perhaps?

Izuku then begins to sluggishly put away everything he brought out of the cabinet, tossing what needed to be tossed into the trashcan.

He was slow, almost as if he was trying to keep his balance, which he no doubt was.

Standing in front of you once again, he wrapped his arms around you, whispering “up” in your ear.

It was something he would always say when he wanted you to wrap your arms and legs around him so he could carry you like a baby.

But who were you to refuse?

It wasn’t as if he couldnt pick you up without your limbs wrapped around him, it was more for your comfort rather than his convenience.

So, tentatively, you wrapped your still shaking arms around his neck, doing the same with your legs around his bent waist.

“Good girl.” he praised as he began walking back into the bedroom, stopping just at your side of the bed to place you down at the edge.

Numbly, you let him remove your rain-soaked clothes from all the hugging, sitting on the bed in just your panties as you watched him toss the clothes in the hamper by the door

It wasn’t the first time he insisted on treating you like a child who needed help changing, but at least you didn’t have to walk.

It was hard to remember if it was a good or a bad thing that you didn’t care about being nude in front of him anymore, not even bothering to hide your chest as he came back over with a fresh set of clothes - the strawberry patterned pajamas he always seemed to adore you wearing.

You always looked so innocent in them. The shirt is far too large for your frame, the sleeves hanging off your hands and the large v-neck exposing your collar bones and parts of your shoulders. The bottoms were the regular run of the mill pajama pants, soft as cotton and comfy as hell.

The top truly was the part of the look that tied it all together.

He couldn’t help but smile as your arms immediately raised as he pulled the shirt out of the pile, making quick work of slipping it over your cute head and helping your arms into the sleeves.

He liked to take care of you.

You needed him to, after all.

You were his innocent, helpless little darling, after all.

Pulling your pants up, he guided your body down into a resting position, dragging the thick, grey, and black patterned comforter over your stilled body.

Such a good girl.

He tucks loose strands of messy (H/C) hair that fell across your face behind your ear, being mindful of the wound.

He stares at it for a moment, his expression holding that of worry and regret.

Pushing off the bed, he stumbles his way to the kitchen in the dark, having turned off the light as he went, the layout of the apartment burned to memory so he could easily avoid furniture.

In the kitchen, he opened the freezer and grabbed an ice pack, one he would commonly use on his own sore muscles and bruises. It hurt his heart knowing he was the reason you had to use it for the first time.

After wrapping it in some paper towels, he trudges his way back into the dark bedroom, eyes wracking over your balled up form, covers bunched over you like a shell.

“Put this on your cheek..” he whispered, placing the pack just in front of your face.

He would love to be the one to hold it to your cheek, but his mind was still hazy, and his words were still slurred. Events could sure as hell sober you up a bit, but damn did that nausea always come back crashing in through the brittle window full force when you’d least expect it.

Rummaging through the drawers once more, he picked up some of his own fresh clothes and made his way into the bathroom again.

All he wants is to sleep, but he also didnt want you to smell dried sweat and rain on his being throughout the night.

He knew you missed him, him and his warmth, you always did, right? No question about it. You must be longing for him even now.

Wanting him to hold and comfort you just like always.

Numbed adrenaline pumped in his veins as he stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash away his filth and regrets.

God, it felt so good to be able to somewhere warm for once.

The entire night he’s felt nothing but cold.

Not even the fire in his belly or the breath stolen from his lungs could’ve warmed him up.

He was mad at himself. Mad that he lost control and hurt the one thing that mattered the most to him.

Mad that he let himself get disgustingly drunk.

Mad that he walked in the rain like a dumbass just to soak your clothes and make you feel as cold as him.

But at the moment, too many thoughts were flying in his mind for him to properly think, no, he couldnt really even say he was thinking at all.

He was just letting the water splatter on the back of his neck, forehead resting on the cold shower tiles and he watched as water swirled down the drain like a whirlpool. His hair stuck to his cheeks like glue, but he couldn’t find himself caring.

Absentmindedly, his fingers brush across the fresh scar on his broad shoulder.

He swore the longer he stood there, watching the clear flow of water, the looser his grip on himself became.

He couldnt really say he felt anything at all anymore.

When did he lose himself?

Was he ever even really found?

Ah.

With you.

You were the missing piece in his complicated and skull biting puzzle, the one who made him whole and lit up his dull life. You were the reason he felt things anymore, you were the reason he still managed to get up and save people with a clear conscious.

You always had such a positive impact on his life, and he knew he had just as good a one on yours.

A wobbly smile tore his flushed face in two, you both really did need eachother.

He was so happy to have you in his life.

Knowing you’d never leave him.

Turning the boiling hot water off, he stepped out, the plushness of the bath-mat embracing his wet feet as water continued to pour down his nude body.

It felt, it felt so hot suddenly.

His breath came out in exaggerated pants, hands sweeping his hair from his face as the burn of bile rose in his throat.

Lunging for the toilet, he emptied his stomach into the glistening white bowl.

Gasping for air, Izuku whipped his mouth on the back of his hand, still trying to catch his breath as he fumbled to flush.

God, he needed to sit down.

Shakily turning the bathroom faucet on, he washed his hand, making quick work of brushing his teeth before lazily drying himself off.

Ignoring the other clothes he brought in, the toned hero simply pulled on a pair of black boxers before walking out of the bathroom.

Green eyes immediately looked at your form, just to see the soft rise and fall of your chest as you soundly slept, the ice pack sitting comfortably on your cheek.

You looked so adorable.

You always did.

Smiling once more, he walked over to the bed, pulling back the sheets just to slide his larger, warm body in and next to your own.

He sighs blissfully the moment he tugs you into his embrace, relishing in the feeling of your soft body against him.

Removing the icepack from your cheek, not wanting you to awake to a cheek burning from the cold, he places it on the nightstand before snuggling closer to you.

You always fit so perfectly in his big arms.

You were meant to be by his side.

And you loved it, didn’t you?

Eventually, he fell asleep, soft snores echoing around the quiet room filled with the downpour of rain still pouring down outside the large glass windows,

But you were still wide awake.

It was hard to remember the last time you got a good night’s rest, especially when the room was spine-chillingly dark..

Hard to remember what life was like before you even met your own personal nightmare.

You were used to the exhaustion, the dark circles kissing at the skin under your eyes becoming normal the day you were brought here.

Oh, how foolish you were.

You should have locked your window that fateful night.

But heroes are quite stealthy, aren’t they?

Was this even reality at this point? Or all just a figment of your imagination, protecting you from the true horrors before your very eyes.

Either answer wasnt one you wanted.

But you never had a choice.

Tears slipping from your eyes like they always seemed to do, you stared longingly off into the distance, the warmth pressed against your back pulling you further into your own bubbling madness.

All it took was a signal thought for this to all become normal.

For the pain to wash away with your tears.

‘Maybe this is ok.’

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tomathomatommy · 2 years

Text

Tw if you've been through poverty/homelessness for a while (esp. While young)

It's kinda disheartening, you know, this will be I think the third year now where I cannot afford to buy my friends gifts from myself this year. Though I would really prefer to. I really hate joint gifts. I don't feel like I have nice enough clothes to wear for holidays. Everything has become daily wear. I deeply appreciate anything new I am able to get due to my clothes being between 2-vintage years old. I need a winter coat. A hat, gloves. A scarf. Things that fit so I'm not freezing or layering so much I can't take anything off.

I can't describe how badly I have wanted fast food. It's been a few weeks now since I got groceries and I have basically just been filling my body with sugar. I want to take the bus, or have it delivered, or walk. But I'm maybe a 10 minute drive from a 7-11 but I'm not in the city so there's no sidewalks or anything to block snow, along with busses not coming out here. I can't have it delivered because of food stamp rules.

The mistreatment from my roommate is getting too much. My food is being eaten (I am on food stamps, they are not), Everything is consistently dirty (I wish I could say I had part in it), I am expected to take care of animals and do a lot of these household chores, doesn't matter what I'm dealing with during that day. [Edit: the mess has to do with her bathroom sanitation issues, food waste, food trash, normal trash, etc. These are all things I should not have to clean up as they are around 10 years older than me. It was never specified to me when I moved in that I would be getting asked to watch her dogs for free. I also offered at the beginning to clean her house for her regularly, but was told that wasn't necessary. I am deeply grateful that I have been able to live here this long, but this treatment on any human being isn't okay in my opinion.]

I have now applied to every job I am qualified and able to work at in walking distance throughout November. The only place that had promise will not deny my application though they intended to hire me if i changed my hours on the application. Everywhere else has denied me or ghosted me.

I really really try my best to push through every day and see the good parts of it, and to always work toward the betterment of my quality of life. I'm now in a state where I feel like it's out of my control. Even if I did get a minimum wage job right now, it would be spring or summer before I have the money to leave. And she's hoping I'm gone around January.

Now my roommate has attempted at support or helping me, and when I respond with initiative to work on this together I am left on my own. I have made many efforts to communicate. Even yesterday I sat down and was clear and frank about my job searching, and if there is anything I can do or she would like me to do, since it looks like I won't have the money by the end of the month to even put anything on a lease.

I'm not asking for money, I'm not asking you to care or support. I just really don't have a place where I can talk about this and I have more objective eyes reading.

Yes, there is a roof over my head and blankets. But think of how much use you can get from that when you are never wanted from there. I got here in July and it has felt nothing short of humiliating and patronizing I have to depend on others for most things and it makes me feel sick every time because I know how capable I am. [Edit: yes, if I would have gotten a job when it was warmer this would be easier. I am not saying I'm not at fault at all. But due to location, transportation, being uneducated and unmedicated, I feel I understandably made mistakes. But I don't believe that is any reason for anyone to be treated like this.]

#negative post #i keep trying to tell myself every day that its not all that bad #cause if i think about it too much its going to break me #tw poverty #thom vents

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idreamtofthereaper · 4 years

Text

Jung Jaehyun As Your Ex (Clarity Oneshots)

NCT 127 // NCT DREAM // WAYV // Clarity Main Masterlist

A series of oneshots for different groups, for each member, wherein instead of them being your boyfriend, how they will be as your ex.

The Build Up

Emotional af

you guys were high school sweethearts

and it was evident that your relationship was going nowhere

well, not for the public to know

graduated high school, then college, then got a job and have great careers

but none of you ever thought about proposals

marriage

family

kids

holding each other’s hands by the rocking chair staring at the sunset and sunrise

because you couldn’t see doing all that with Jaehyun

and he never mentioned everything with those to you

he asked you out to dinner, even if there’s no occasion

for others this is sweet, swoony

but it has just become a habit

dinner at some fancy restaurant every friday

that was all it, a habit from the past

the dinner was delicious as always, especially after a tiring day from work

the night was spent engaging with small talk

and guess what

it’s about work

and the dinner ended, the last conversation about how the stocks were dropping

the valet grab the car and opened the door for you as jae went around to his door

the drive was silent af

and since the both of you got back from work late

the streets were empty, the lights and some shops and fast foods were providing light

with the silence enveloping everything, you remembered everything

how before, the both of you would sing to the songs in the radio

not taking cars, but walking to fast food joints

fast food adventures

you were so enveloped with your thoughts you didn’t realize a tear was falling from your eyes

at the stop light, jae noticed

“Hey, everything alright?” He gave you a handkerchief from the pocket of his suit.

You nodded then took the cloth from his hands, damping it on your eyes as you sniffled. You turn to him with a warm smile as you handed the cloth, worry evident on his expression “I’m okay.”

He just nodded, placing the cloth at the pocket of his slacks as he continued driving.

you remembered how the first time he bought a car

his main problem was how to hold you while he was driving

he wanted to hold your hand, your thighs, everything

but now, he wouldn’t even glance at your way if you weren’t crying

the emotions got too much that more tears started pouring again

“Jae, pull over.” You said with a broken voice, signalling at the sidewalk.

“Wh-”

“I want to walk, pull over. Please.” Without questions, though with confusions, Jae pulled over. Before he could utter anymore words, you exited the car in a hurry.

You finally let out all the emotions you’ve been feeling. Sobbing and sniffling as you walk away from the car. Only stopping when Jaehyun grabbed your wrist. “Yn, tell me what’s wrong. Please.”

“Jae, are you happy with this? With us?” You asked finally, a question that has been bothering you. “We aren’t the same Jae, this is not love. We’re only staying for each other because we feel that we have to.”

Jaehyun stared emotionally at you before pulling you towards him, whispering comforting words as he rocked the both of you side by side gently. “We’re okay, I’m happy. I’m happy with us.” He whispered on your ear as you sobbed.

But then, you shook your head as you pushed away from him. His hands still on your waist, but you created a space now. “I’m not. Jae, we can’t go back the way we used to.”

“No, no. I’ll change, I’m sorry-”

“That’s the point, we shouldn’t have changed. Why did we change? I’m tired, Jae.”

He caressed your back, comforting you. Eventually, he felt your weight lighten and upon a glance, he saw you already had your eyes closed but definitely still awake. “Let’s go home, yn.”

The Break Up

You knew he carried you to the car

and he tucked you in after changing your clothes

and cleaned your face

upon waking up, you saw him at the edge of the bed.

He looked at you with a smile

his eyes were red and puffy

but he still put on one of your favorites

his smile

“It’s early, let’s walk?”

since it was pretty early, not a lot of people were in the streets

only the joggers and those going to work

but it still wasn’t crowded

he made small talk, pointing out to things he found interesting

“hey, remember when I was late in one of the exams and you had to sneak me in the classroom?”

“how could I forget, I almost lost my scholarship for that”

“yeah, your mom loved me a lot for that”

the walk was such a nice and refreshing thing

how the both of you took a trip down memory lane to remember how it wasn’t that complicated before

the both of you stopped at the park, sitting down at one of the benches under a tree

“About last night, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” You started, rocking your legs back and forth, Jae listening intently while nodding his head. “I don’t know, I just got overwhelmed. With my emotions, with everything. I don’t know. I hate it. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lashed out.”

“Maybe you should. It gave me a lot of stuff to think about, and I agree.” You looked at Jaehyun softly and with curiosity. “Yn, we’ve been together for so long and I wouldn’t have become the person I am if it wasn’t for you. This past few months, I was only thinking about me, thinking about you but never about us. Are you still happy, yn? Do you want to make us work?”

You stayed silent, looking at Jaehyun intently. You look away at a distance for a while to think about it more, then turn back to him with a soft smile. “No, Jae. I think we both need to grow outside each other. I think it will be better for the both of us.”

Jaehyun nodded with a smile, a sad smile. He leaned close to you, making you close your eyes but not flinching or moving away, as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. “Thank you so much for everything, yn.”

The Aftermath

You didn’t went home after that, you went to your nearest friend’s house and cried on their shoulder

telling them everything that has happened

all the while Jae was packing up the rest of the stuff he hasn’t packed last night

at the last bag, before he even left the house, he looked at the place one last time with a smile on his face as he soaked in the memories through the years

the house was the first big purchase the both of you made after college

how the both of you fought over how the kitchen should look like

he reminisced over every fight, love making, slow dances, karaoke and celebrations that happened between the walls of the home

a tear fell from his eyes when it landed at the framed photo by the shelf

it was the both of you after high school graduation, then college, then when the both of you got a job

he thought about leaving you a note, but decided that would make things more harder.

he closed the door behind him, leaving the house but not the memories

never the memories

Moving On

the first few months was H E L L

everything was new, you were alone

with e v e r y t h i n g

but you managed

and from the looks of it, Jae was too

it was 2 years now

you became the CEO of the rival company you were previously working at

and you found out Jae became the COO of his

after he moved out, Jae moved in with his mom for a while before finally getting a place of his own

and he knew about what you’re doing too

his business partners couldn’t stop rambling about you

and the same goes to your end

everyone was rambling about the handsome bachelor

and basically pushed you to make dealings with him

you didn’t because that would be weird

and jae had the same thought

but then, the both of you had the same partnership with this company

and lo and behold, the both of you met at the ball

jae was with a girl, presumably his date, when you walked in

he couldn’t miss it, he literally felt the conversations at the venue stopping when you walked in

chin up, chest out, in a tight and flattering red outfit

you smiled at the first person that approached you, even grabbing a drink

the person then introduced the both of you

jae was wearing an all black outfit as the man approached, you clinging to his arms

he was shocked, the both of you were, when the man introduced the both of you to each other

but then, jae wore a charming smile as he held his hand out

“Pleasure meeting you, Ms. Yn. It’s Ms, right?”

“Yes it is, I’ve heard a lot of great things about you, Mr. Jung.” You replied, shaking his hand. The girl beside him, who turned out to be his assistant, introduced herself to you.

After the greetings, the man excused himself to make a toast.

You were tapping your foot restlessly as you stood beside Jae, trying to listen intently to what the man was saying. Your focus was destroyed when you felt a breath brush your ear. “You know, my focus was never really good. You never really helped.”

You smirked at the familiar voice. Jae leaned up as you turn to face him over your shoulder. “It’s not my problem you get easily distracted, Mr. Jung.”

“In fact it is, Ms. Yn. Red has always complimented your body well.” He replied with a smirk himself, taking a sip of his champagne as he waited for your retort.

“I have a feeling it’s not the color, Mr. Jung.” His reply was postponed when the people around you clapped.

The both of you then clapped along as the man then said his closing words of the speech. “We want to thank everyone who attended the party and those who entrust our company with theirs. Our company, Clarity Enterprise, will make sure that everyone’s trust and efforts of our partners and our own won’t be put to waste.”

Another round of applause resonated, then the lights dimmed and the floor cleared. A slow song playing at the background as a couple of people went to the dance floor.

“I know there’s a queue for this dance, but to be fair I was always the first in line.” Jae appeared in front of you and offered his hand.

You looked at him sweetly before nodding, taking a last sip of the champagne before placing it on the table. “I guess you are.”

hello this is the author I was crying the entire time I was writing it I’m sorry it’s so long

#jung jaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jung jaehyun imagines #jaehyun imagine #jaehyun oneshot #jaehyun oneshots #jung jaehyun oneshot #jung jaehyun oneshots #nct #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 oneshots #nct 127 oneshot #nct angst #nct au #nct jaehyun

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jubilantwriter · 3 years

Text

No Idiots Were Harmed in the Making of His Reality

(AO3) (First) (Epilogue)

Summary: The gang goes to an unnamed popular fast food joint after Pico commits mass murder in the name of protecting his duo of idiots. And this is the thanks he gets.

Or: An unfortunate fast food employee gets the misfortune of meeting the trio in their finest hour.

Word Count: 2127

////

There’s only so much a job description can prepare one for. For instance: making burgers, serving customers, taking orders, so on and so forth. That’s what this minimum wage job suggested she would be doing. But it didn’t come with the fine print. It didn’t tell her that she’d be making burgers, sandwiches, chicken nuggets, fries, so on and so forth under pressure as customers ranged from dead-inside but patient patrons to Karen levels of impatient and entitled. There’s caveats, little sidebars, unmentioned stressors that go overlooked because her job is solely to serve the people shitty, shitty burgers.

And it barely even helps her pay rent. The things she’s seen on the job only serves to make her wonder how long it’ll take for her to become either bitter and jaded or completely desensitized by the bullshit this hellish existence can throw at her. Maybe it’ll be a mix of both.

The door opens and swings shut with a heavy, muted thud. Cashier Girl looks up, already exhausted two hours into her shift as she catches sight of the next batch of cus-

Oh. Oh no. Oh no, they look like trouble.

A tall, bubbly young lady in a figure hugging dress smiles sweetly in that, “I’m going to try really hard not to create problems on purpose for you”, sort of way, which happens to be Cashier Girl’s favorite kind of customer. Granted, this girl looks nothing like trouble. She looks like the exact opposite of trouble. But the two men she has in tow makes Cashier Girl think twice about lowering her guard around the pretty girl.

Standing next to her is some dude with cyan-colored hair, a red cap turned backwards in a very dudebro kind of way. He dresses sloppily, like he just rolled out of bed and threw on whatever happened to be in reach, which also just so happened to be the same clothes he wore the day before. His clearly white shirt is stained with something… she hopes is nothing but the results of him being a messy eater. Or maybe he got into a knife fight and won? That has to be the answer for the mysterious, rusty stains and splatters on the right side of his shirt.

However, the one who really sets off her anxiety radar is the taller young man standing next to the cyan shortie. The guy is covered in blood. Not only that, but she’s pretty sure he’s toting at least two guns on his person. And to top it off, he’s wearing a sweater vest and a turtleneck in this kind of weather! Granted, it is a bit chilly, but that level of layering just feels like overkill. He glowers with his arms folded over his chest, clearly hating everything about this experience. Is that dried blood on his face? That is absolutely dried blood all over his face.

Cashier Girl sucks in a deep breath through her teeth and puts on a well practiced smile. “Hello! May I take your order?”

“Yes please! Um,” the lady in red nudges the shorter man with a smile, “what were we going to order again?”

“Beep!”

...Beep?

“Oh! Right! Can we get the 2 for $5 deal?”

She could understand all of that from a single beep?! “Of course! And what would you like?”

“Badoop.” The cyan-haired man nudges the blood covered ginger, and boy, did it look like Little Boy Blue was poking a stick at an angry bear. “Skdeep!”

Having been in the industry for a long, two years has given Cashier Girl the ability to see when someone is about to take a dive into the deep end fairly quickly. The ginger twitches an eye, lips pulled into a snarl as he breathes out a little too deeply. Not quite like a sigh, but like a bull about to charge headfirst into a china shop on purpose. He sucks in a harsh breath through gritted teeth and hunches his shoulders up. Oh wow, he’s really restraining himself.

“Just get me…” And of course Probably a Murderer understood everything Little Boy Blue said. “The nugs and burg.”

With the way he’s restraining himself, she wants to believe that he once worked in the same industry as her. No wonder he’s a murderer. Good for him, good for him. Doing what the rest of them can’t do.

“Alright! And is there anything else I can get for you?”

“Hmm.” Pretty Miss Sunshine looks over to Little Boy Blue who shakes his head before turning back to face Cashier Girl. “I think that’s it!”

“Alright, your total comes to $5.40.”

“Beep!” Little Boy Blue pipes up excitedly and starts digging around in, what she assumes is, his back pocket. The short man pulls out a crumpled, moist-looking five dollar bill. He straightens it out, and Cashier Girl swears that a good quarter of the bill is stained with blood. Probably a Murderer must have noticed the blood too, because he suddenly stiffens and glares at Little Boy Blue.

“...Boyfriend.” Oh shit, are they dating? Is Miss Sunshine just a lady friend of theirs? “Isn’t that the fuckin’ money I lent to you a couple weeks back?”

Oh damn. Cashier Girl looks between Blue and Murderer, Blue either oblivious to Murderer’s growing rage or too wildly confident that the bloodstained ginger won’t actually hurt him. As interesting as the tension may be, she still needs the forty cents to complete their order.

“Sir-”

“Ba beep!” Boy Blue nods vigorously, but she knows it’s not towards her. Murderer lets out a long, aggrieved sigh as he massages his temples.

“So. You’re tellin’ me.” He points to the money on the counter and back at Boy Blue. “You spent… how long at my apartment? Botherin’ me for some extra cash for food, refusin’ to leave for a good few hours, and then completely forgettin’ about gettin' the fuckin’ food you were supposed to get? After I gave you the goddamn money?”

“Oh, I remember that day!” Pretty Miss Sunshine speaks up a little too cheerily given the mood. “We were supposed to get some Chinese takeout, so Boyfriend disappeared for a bit to ask you for some extra money since he was short some.” Wait, are they all dating each other? What the hell? “But Boyfriend came back looking all happy and without any food, and when I asked where the food was, he said he totally forgot! We ended up just using Daddy’s credit card since I remembered I still had it, so we still got food in the end.” Miss Sunshine beams brightly at the flabbergasted Murderer. “You don’t need to worry about that!”

“That’s not what I was pissed about!” For a yell worthy statement, Murderer does an awfully good job at keeping his voice reasonably leveled in this shitty fast food restaurant. “And you had a credit card this entire time?! Why do you fucks keep comin’ over to my place to ask for cash?!”

“Ohhh, well, Daddy took it back after he found out I still had it. But now I’m borrowing from Mommy instead-”

“Oh, so you just have another credit card you could be usin’ instead of my money-”

“Excuse me,” Cashier Girl says as politely as possible, seeing how Murderer’s hand is twitching over one of his guns, “but you still haven’t paid the full amount.”

“Boop!” Boy Blue quickly begins to dig through his pockets, his confident smirk slowly morphing into a stricken grimace as his movements grow more frantic. “Sk-skido, bap de doop-”

“Do not fuckin’ tell me you do not have forty fuckin’ cents.”

Ohhhh shit. Cashier Girl feels torn between wanting to see Murderer fucking snap because man, they really are just running his patience into the GROUND, and wanting her goddamn forty cents so that she can move on with these customers. Murderer’s face turns a bright shade of red as he inhales a deep breath through his nostrils and breathes out heavily through gritted teeth once more, the process repeating a few times before he reaches for his back pocket and pulls out a ratty wallet that’s literally being held together with duct tape. Quietly, they all watch as he shakes some coins out and carefully counts out forty cents exactly.

“There,” he says softly in that tone she recognizes from parents who are this close to losing their absolute shit towards their children, “five fucking dollars and forty cents.”

Cashier Girl looks up and sees Miss Sunshine finally starting to sweat just a bit. Still, she keeps up her cheerful demeanor as she addresses Cashier Girl. “I think we’re good now, right?”

“Uh, yes!” She takes the money and tries to get a read on Murderer to see if this shift will be her last one, but he’s got his arms crossed as he stares directly ahead. The stony expression can only spell doom for the two standing next to him. “Your number is 69,” haha nice, “and your order will be out shortly!”

“Babeep! Pi-!” Blue probably tries to make the same comment that Cashier Girl internally made to Murderer, but he’s quickly shut down by the dark glare Murderer shoots down. He quickly laughs nervously and clears his throat, rubbing his arm as he looks away sheepishly. “H-hm… bop.” Blue takes the receipt and nods his thanks, going over to stand by one of the dividers with Miss Sunshine in tow. Murderer, however, remains where he stands, now making uncomfortable eye-contact with her. Anger still rolls off of him in waves, but she’s starting to wonder if being angry is just his default.

“Oi,” he begins, and she quickly glances behind him to see if there are any other customers behind him. None. She’s not sure if she’s disappointed or a bit glad that there’s no one standing behind him. “Honest opinion - you think this joint is a good enough reward for savin’ their asses?”

Oh boy. Cashier Girl has no idea what he means by “savin’ their asses”, but if he means it literally then… She sucks in a breath through her teeth and tries not to grimace. He grunts in response and squeezes his eyes shut with a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, thought so. Really shouldn’t have taken them at their word when they said, ‘their treat’. Ain’t nothin’ been their treat so far.”

Oof. That’s right. That five was originally his that Boy Blue was supposed to pay back, and the forty cents were definitely his. The guy basically treated himself by force. They both share a silent look before he sighs heavily. As much as she’d kind of like to hear more of this dude’s story and why he’s even friends (datemates? They did call Little Boy Blue, “Boyfriend”, after all) with them, she still has a job to do, and chatting with customers for longer than a certain, nondescript time could get her in trouble. However, much to her relief, the ginger takes the initiative wordlessly and wanders back to the pair, sulking in his blood soaked clothes.

Despite clearly looking like a group of troublemakers (especially Murderer), the three keep to themselves, Blue and Sunshine chatting amongst themselves and nudging Murderer every once in a while in some dangerous gambit to get his attention. Each time they do that, he grips his arms tightly, before stiffly looking over to them as they jabber on about something Cashier Girl can’t hear. All he does is nod and look away, intent on focusing on some spot on the wall and practice what she assumes is deep breathing exercises. For a dude covered in blood, he’s doing a real good job at showing restraint.

Finally, their number is called. Little Boy Blue grabs the bag with glee and nods his thanks to her co-worker before heading back to the group. He practically thrusts the bag into Murderer’s face, and the ginger looks ready to bite his hand off when he catches sight of Blue and Sunshine’s faces. They both look so… genuinely hopeful? Like some shitty nuggets and a burger will be enough to quell his fury. Cashier Girl is about to suck in a sharp breath when his expression softens. He takes the bag and almost manages a smile, before seeing the blood on Little Boy Blue’s clothes and hardening his expression back into an annoyed glower.

They all leave without much fanfare. The door slams behind them as she hums to herself, thinking back to this strange group of people who made less trouble than she expected. A smirk rises to her face before she schools it for the next batch of customers.

At least she knows now why he still hangs out with those friends of his. What a softie.

#friday night funkin #fnf #fnf boyfriend #fnf girlfriend #fnf pico #this was posted to ao3 a looong time ago so it's about time i posted it here #cashier girl my beloveeeeed #a working class hero she is #my friend wanted to see this scene and gosh da r n it #so did i #so here it is #he's so mad

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vintage-story-time · 3 years

Text

SPYING ON MOM by Donna Allen

CHAPTER ONE

"You look hypnotized," Pat said.

She smiled at him. He was damn cute. He was also very young. She had picked him up in a fast-food joint near the office. She'd had her eye on him for weeks and now here she was with him in a motel room, her tits uncovered to his hot eyes, his cock out of his pants, big and swollen and his prick-tip dripping. This was just what she was in the mood for after a hard day selling real estate. A randy young stud with an

athletic body and an eager cock.

She had been right about him. He had a big prick. It was always a guess, of course. You couldn't tell just by looking at a man what he had down there. She'd been fooled too many times. But it was nice when she guessed right.

She licked a cock to be thick around. That was more important than how long it was. She licked a thick cock and big nuts. She hadn't seen his nuts yet. If he had balls to match that prick, she'd have nothing to complain about. She never complained about decent equipment. The equipment was more important than the face or the brain. Screw the face and the brain, what she wanted and needed was a working cock!

And that's what he's got, she thought. She held her tits in her hands. Her blouse was off and her bra was off and she held her tits on her palms and bounced them a bit. She had nice tits, heavy enough to be low-slung. There was a time, years ago, when she'd bounced them around as a dancer in a club.

All that was over, now. She had a successful career as a real-estate broker. She also had a ten-year-old divorce and a teenaged son about the same age as this young man.

It's four o'clock in the afternoon and I'm as

horny as an alley cat, she thought..

Was she overdoing it? She didn't think so. The illusions she'd had as a girl had been replaced by a keen sense of reality. That was why she had made a success selling real estate. She knew there were only two things important in the world: money and sex. She wanted both. She wanted all she could have..

She smiled at the guy again. His name was Wade. Kneeling down in front of him, she leaned forward and pressed her tits against his upright cock. His prick felt warm in the valley between her tits.

"Nice?"

"Oh yeah!" he said.

"You've been looking at my tits ever since we met. Now you've got them around your cock."

"That's right."

She didn't want to ask him how often he had a woman old enough to be his mother come on to him. She didn't care. There were thousands of women out there who wouldn't mind taking her place. They wouldn't mind having a hot young cock on fire between their tits.

She pulled away. "Let's get the rest of your clothes off, okay?"

"Sure, Patricia."

"Call me Pat." "Okay, Pat."

"Let's have a look at you."

She could tell he was nervous. His fingers were fumbling as she helped him undress. But he had nothing to be shy about. He had a delicious body, big shoulders, all the muscles, everything she liked. And the equipment. Big cock and big balls. There was enough fuckmeat there to make a girl quiver. What a hunger she had for young men! What a shameless hedonist she was!

I love it! she thought. She could feel the anticipation tying knots in her belly.

"What do you do?" she said. "You must do something athletic. With a body like this."

He shrugged. "I played some football in high school."

"Did you finish school?"

"I dropped out."

"You ought to go back."

He looked at her as if she was crazy. "What do you want to talk about that for?"

"Yes, you're right."

She moved close to him and kissed his lips. She ran her fingertips along the underside of his cock and then dropped her hand to cup his balls in her palm.

"I like your body," she said. "I like what you've got down here."

After that, she dropped to her knees. She wanted a taste of him. That juicy pink fuckknob. They were all different. When she'd been a girl, she'd been obsessed with cocks. All that sucking she did in high school. She'd been careful not to be too promiscuous. Her father would have killed her if he'd known what was going on. She had to get married early. She had to in order to save her sanity. So what if it didn't last? She had come through it all right, hadn't she? She had a grown son. She had her own business. She had this well-hung guy to ball for the next few hours. She had nothing to be sorry for.

She started licking his cock. Up and down with the flat of her tongue, sniffing and licking, and then at times moving underneath to lick his ball-bag. A man she once knew had told her she was a very oral woman. He was right. She enjoyed using her mouth. She enjoyed the feel of a cock between her lips. What she was doing now was postponing the pleasure of it. It also gave her a chance to smell him. She loved the sweaty smell in a man's crotch.

God, his balls were lovely! Like two walnuts in a pink leather pouch. And above the bag, his thick cock straining to hit his belly. She gave a last fuck from his balls up along the underside of his cockshaft to the tip of his prick. He shuddered. That was nice. She liked to make them shudder.

Holding his nuts in her palm, she closed her fingers around the upper part of his ball-bag and pulled his ball sac. Then she ran her lips over his cockhead and took it in. His fat juicy fuck knob in her mouth. He groaned. She swirled her tongue around and wound his cockhead. She rubbed her tongue-tip back and forth over his piss-hole.

He'll remember me, she thought. She wouldn't see him again. She never saw them after the first time. But like the others, he'd remember her-that gorgeous blonde who picked him up and gave him a time in a motel room.

She sucked on his prick. Of course, he liked it, but she always thought she was the one who enjoyed it more. Any woman who didn't like a cock in her mouth was either crazy or a liar. Even some lesbians liked it. She knew one did. Josie West, the girl she'd worked with years ago. They still talked on the telephone on occasion.

Josie always claimed the only thing a man was good for was a bank account and a cock to suck.

She took more of the guy's prick in her mouth, down to about half the length of his cockshaft. She knew he wanted more, but she stopped there and pulled back and let his fuckknob drop out.

"Nice," she said. "Do you like it?"

The guy groaned. "You know it!"

She looked up at him and smiled. It turned her on to see the pleasure in his eyes. He was hot for her. Of course, in the state he was in, he would take almost any woman, but she was the one who had him. And she'd get hers, too. She always made sure of that. You had to prod them when they were as young as this, but she would make sure to get hers.

She knew some people thought she was a determined woman. Maybe she was. She was determined to do more with her life than dream. She wanted too much.

What she wanted now was a mouthful of jism. Holding his cockhead between her lips, she stroked his fat cock with her fingers. It didn't take long. He was caught by surprise. He was already on the edge because of his excitement, and in a moment she had him spurting his load in her mouth.

He groaned as he came. "Jesus, what did you do that for?"

"To calm you down. And because I like it. Sit down and rest while I get my clothes off."

She finished undressing. Now the rush was over and she could begin to enjoy the sex the way she liked to enjoy it. She hated rushing things. They were always so hungry for it. That was the only real disadvantage they had. An older man knew enough to take his time. A teenaged guy was like a young bull in a china shop.

She gave him a show. As her tits wobbled around, she could see the heat in his eyes. She knew she had a great body. A solid round ass and long shapely legs. Heavy tits with prominent pink nipples. Some of them always went crazy over her tits. Her tits looked ordinary under a dress when she wore a bra. But once the bra came off, the weight was there, and they had a lovely ripe-looking shape.

When she was naked, she stretched out on the bed. "Come over here and be nice to me."

He was on her quickly. She kissed his mouth. She pushed his head down to her tits and he sucked her nipples, one after the other. Then she pushed his head again and pulled her knees back.

"Down at the candy counter," she said.

He wasn't bashful about it. Sometimes when they were too inexperienced, they hesitated about eating her. She always insisted. She loved it. If they were too awkward, she told them what she wanted. She loved having a mouth on her cunt. She loved seeing her juices on a man's face. The young men looked so cute when they came up for air. Suck my cunt, she thought. Suck out all the goodies.

This guy did a passable job of eating her. He'd certainly had his mouth on a pussy before. He knew where her clit was. He knew enough to nibble at it until it felt so good she had to start pumping her pussy at his face. She held his head with her hands and fucked her cunt at his mouth.

"Keep sucking," she said. "Keep sucking until I tell you to stop."

After a while, she pushed him away. His cock was like a bar of steel again. That was why she felt no qualms about forcing them to go down on her. Most of them loved it. They loved getting their mouths in a wet pussy. Their hot little mouths. She loved it when they were good at it. She'd had a lesbian do her once. Not Josie, someone else. She'd never made it with Josie. They were nothing more than friends. The les-

bian had been the best at sucking her pussy. But a man could come close. And a man had a cock and that was what she needed.

"Let me fuck you," the guy said.

She smiled at him. "Yes, it's time. You can get behind me."

She liked it best that way. Kneeling with her ass in the air and the cock behind her. She rolled over now and knelt on the mattress. She knew the effect it had on him. He could see everything she had, her cunt and asshole, everything hanging out. He looked so cute with cunt-juice on his lips.

In a moment he had his hands on her ass and his cock rubbing against her pussy. She was wet and wide-open, and he had no trouble sliding his fuck-knob inside her cunthole. She quivered with pleasure as his thick cock filled her cunt-channel. Young as he was, he knew how to fuck. He had a strong cock and he knew how to use it. She hadn't made a mistake in choosing him.

"Do you like doing it this way?" she said. He drove his cock in deep. "Yeah, sure." "Would you like to fuck my ass?"

"You mean it?"

"Yes, but fuck my pussy first. I'll tell you when to switch."

She could sense his excitement by the way he pumped at her cunt. He was like a young stallion, his balls swinging against her clit each time he slammed forward. She rested the side of her face against the mattress and spread her legs wide. She squeezed her tits with one hand. In this position her tits hung far down and the squeezing felt delicious.

After a while she told him he could switch.

"Do you really want it in your ass?"

"Of course I do. Haven't you ever done it?"

"Sure," he said. But of course, it was a lie. If he had done it before, he wouldn't have asked if she really wanted it.

He pulled out of her cunt and she told him to go on and stick his cock in her ass. She was ready for it. She had visited the bathroom when they first arrived and she had greased her asshole with Vaseline. Life didn't amount to much unless you went after what you needed.

She pushed out, opened her asshole to make it easy for him. She knew she could take him without any trouble. It was sweet that this was his first time. He'd never forget her now.

A deep groan came out of his throat as he slid his cock into the hot grip of her shitter. "Oh Jesus!"

"Is it good?"

"It's great!"

"Take your time. Make it last. It's nicer when it lasts a long time."

He took her advice. He stroked slowly. His cock sliding smoothly in and out of her wide open ass. It was funny how when she was a girl she'd never thought she could go for it. Now she liked it better than the other way.

He was skillful enough to keep fucking her ass nearly five minutes. By this time, her asshole and shit-tube were loose and buttery, and she had already come twice.

When she had the third climax, she clamped her ass with his cock and he lost control. With a groan, he slammed his cock forward and shot off in her bowels.

Afterward she brought a wet towel from the bathroom and cleaned him up.

He lay back on the bed with his folded arms under his head and his breathing heavy. He looked down at her as she wiped his cock with the towel.

"God, you're something," he said.

"Too much for you?"

"I could fuck you for a year."

"We don't have a year, we have only a little while. Turn over and I'll do something nice."

He had a puzzled look on his face as he rolled

over. How innocent he was! It was fun getting him to lose his innocence. She always had more fun with a teenager. A grown man expected everything and gave back very little. A teenage guy was grateful.

She played with his ass. She ran the wet towel up and down his asscrack to get it clean. He started squirming, complained she was tickling him. She told him to lie still. She told him he might learn something.

She liked his ass. She gripped and rolled his asscheeks and then spread them apart to expose his brownie. His puckered little eye. She went down on it. Holding his asscheeks open, she tickled his bunghole with her tongue.

"Oh Jesus!" he said.

"No good?"

"Do it again!"

"Get on your knees so I can do it the right way." She didn't always do it. She never did it to a grown man. Only to the guys. They brought out the lust in her.

When he was on his knees, she crouched behind him to rim his asshole. He groaned as she loosened his Ms-bud with her tongue. Then her tongue was inside, swirling in her shitter, in and out as he trembled at the feel of it.

"Do you like it?" she said.

"Oh wow!"

She was amused. How she loved getting them hot! She pulled his balls and cock back and sucked the knob of his prick. Then she licked his asshole again, long swipes of her tongue with plenty of saliva. Soon she had his ass loose and open.

She made him get on his back again. His cock was iron-hard, his balls tight against the base of his cockshaft. His prick looked about to explode. She teased his cockhead with her fingers. "You liked that, didn't you?"

"Yeah!"

"It's called rimming."

"I know. I thought it's something only queers do."

"Now you know better."

She played with his cock and balls, teasing him by keeping the touches light and feathery. Then she told him to pull his knees back. He was like putty now. He would do anything she wanted. When his knees were pulled back, she rolled her thumb over his asshole. Then her middle finger. He made a sound of pleasure as she pushed her middle finger inside his ass.

"Nice?"

"Christ, you're making me crazy!"

"But you like it."

"Yeah!"

She added another finger. His asshole was loose enough to take it easily. She moved the fingers in and out a few times, and then she leaned forward and took his swollen cockhead in her mouth.

He went crazy. He squirmed on the bed as she blew him. She screwed her fingers in and out of his ass as she sucked his cock. He couldn't last. Another few seconds and she had what she wanted. He bucked off the bed as the jism spurted out of his prick. All that sweet cock-cream. The nice thing about guys his age was they always had a gallon of spunk to give her.

When Pat arrived home, she called out to Stuart, but there was no answer. Then she walked to the open door of his room and she saw that he was asleep. He was under the sheet with the reading light on. The air conditioning was off. She could tell he was naked under the sheet. She could also see he had a raging hard-on.

She and Stuart had been alone together so

long there were no walls between them. Most people were surprised when she told them she had a teenage son. They said she looked too young. Yes, it was true. She did look too young to be his mother. But his mother she was. They were friends. She fucked men whenever she was in the mood, but the only man she really cared about was Stuart. They did everything except that. They had all the bonds except sex.

When he began to grow up, they stopped walking around the house without clothes. Sometimes she was sorry about it. She liked looking at him. The way his body developed. And she knew he liked looking at her, too. But they never looked at each other these days. Not unless it was accidental.

Sometimes he would unexpectedly come into her room while she was dressing, and he would see her in a bra and panties. Or she would see him under the same circumstances. She saw him all the time in his jockey shorts. The bulge of his cock and balls. Sometimes it drove her crazy. All that lovely cockmeat in the pouch of his shorts. So what if he was her own son? She wasn't made out of stone, was she? She knew what his cock looked like. She had seen it often enough when he was a kid, and then after that

on occasion. She had even seen him hard a few times. Like now. When he was sleeping. His prick standing up like a telephone pole. She wanted to see it again. She had just fucked a guy in a motel room and here she was with a letch to have a look at her son.

She resisted the impulse. Maybe it was too kinky. But she had never denied to herself that Stuart excited her sexually. It didn't bother her. She didn't care what people would say about it. They hadn't fucked yet anyway. All she did was think about it. And maybe Stuart thought about it too. The way he stared at her tits when he saw her in a bra. She had to look at him now.

She told herself the sheet had to be adjusted. She wanted him to sleep comfortably. He had the sheet bunched up on one side and all she would do was straighten it out. She lifted the sheet and held it up long enough to get a good look at his cock.

There it was, that lovely hard prick, stiff as a poker and slanting back toward his belly. She hadn't seen it like this in a long time. How big he was! That glorious cock-knob. His swollen pink balls. He had his father's coloring. Lots of dark crotch hair. He wasn't a child any more. This was a young man with a man's equipment, and a woman had to be blind not to be turned

on by him. It made no difference that he was her own son, her mouth watered as she gazed at his cock.

She finally left him. She turned the light off and walked quietly out of his room and down the hall to her bedroom. She could feel the beating of her heart. She was sweating. Oh baby, she thought. She stripped her clothes off and stepped into the shower.

So he turned her on, so what? That had happened before. But this time, it felt different. That gorgeous cock he had! She was certainly cock-crazy. She had always been cock-crazy. She lathered the soap over her body, fondled her tits and pussy and carefully reamed her asshole with a fingertip. She remembered the feel of Wade's cock in her ass. Stuart's cock would feel better. Stuart had more cock than Wade. Longer and thicker. She closed her eyes and shuddered as she thought of her son's cock in her ass.

She thought about all the guys she'd had. The teenagers and young men she'd picked up whenever she was in the mood fat it. Maybe it was all a cover for the lust she had for Stuart. Maybe that was it.

She rubbed her cunt. She thought, about Stuart as she masturbated. Could it possibly

happen? Would they sooner or later wind up in bed together?

Why not? she thought. It was what she wanted. It made no sense any more to delude herself. She wanted Stuart. Just the idea of it made her quiver from head to toe. Was it possible? She decided that if it was possible, she would find a way to do it.

She came thinking about that. The orgasm ripped through her pussy as she thought of Stuart in bed with her. That lovely cock sliding in and out of her cunt.

Yes, she thought. That's what I want!

#SPYING ON MOM by Donna Allen #Chapter 1

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96harmony96 · 3 years

Text

Chapter 4 part 1

It took an endless moment to realize jauregui and I were still alone in the room, that the voice I’d heard had come through a speaker. Jauregui stood at the far end of the sofa, flushed and scowling, her chest heaving. Her tie was loosened and the fly of her slacks strained against a very impressive erection.

I had a nightmare vision in my head of what I must look like. And I was late getting back to work.

“Christ.” she shoved both hands through her hair. “It’s the middle of the fucking day. In my goddamn fucking office!”

I got to my feet and tried to straighten my appearance.

“Here.” she came to me, yanking my skirt up again.Mortified by the sudden intrusion into our privacy, I scrambled up and back into the armrest, yanking down my skirt.

“…two o’clock appointment is here.”

Furious at what I’d almost let happen when I should be at work, I smacked at her hands. “Stop it. Leave me alone.”

“Shut up, Camila,” she said grimly, catching the hem of my black silk blouse and tugging it into place, adjusting it so that the buttons once again formed a straight row between my breasts. Then she pulled down my skirt, smoothing it with calm, expert hands. “Fix your ponytail.”

Jauregui retrieved her coat, shrugging into it before adjusting her tie. We reached the door at the same time and when I crouched to fetch my purse, she lowered with me.

she caught my chin, forcing me to look at her. “Hey,” she said softly. “You okay?”

My throat burned. I was aroused and mad and thoroughly embarrassed. I’d never in my life lost my mind like that. And I hated that I’d done so with her, a woman whose approach to sexual intimacy was so clinical it depressed me just thinking about it.

I jerked my chin away. “Do I look okay?”

“You look beautiful and fuckable. I want you so badly it hurts. I’m dangerously close to taking you back to the couch and making you come ’til you beg me to stop.”

“Can’t accuse you of being silver-tongued,” I muttered, aware that I wasn’t offended. In fact, the rawness of her hunger for me was a serious aphrodisiac. Clutching the strap of my purse, I stood on shaky legs. I needed to get away from her. And, when my workday was done, I needed to be alone with a big glass of wine.

Jauregui stood with me. “I’ll be done by five. I’ll come get you then.”

“No, you won’t. This doesn’t change anything.”

“The hell it doesn’t.”

“Don’t be arrogant, Jauregui. I lost my head for a second, but I still don’t want what you want.”

Her fingers curled around the door handle. “Yes, you do. You just don’t want it the way I want to give it to you. So, we’ll revisit and revise.”

More business. Cut-and-dried. My spine stiffened.

I set my hand over her and yanked on the handle, ducking under her arm to squeeze out the door. Her secretary shoved quickly to his feet, gaping, as did the woman and two men who were waiting for Jauregui. I heard her speak behind me.

“Scott will show you into my office. I’ll be just a moment.”

she caught me by reception, her arm crossing my lower back to grip my hip. Not wanting to make a scene, I waited until we were by the elevators to pull away.

she stood calmly and hit the call button. “Five o’clock, Camila.”

I stared at the lighted button. “I’m busy.”

“Tomorrow, then.”

“I’m busy all weekend.”

Stepping in front of me, she asked tightly, “With whom?”

“That’s none of your—”

Her hand covered my mouth. “Don’t. Tell me when, then. And before you say never, take a good look at me and tell me if you see a woman who’s easily deterred.”

Her face was hard, her gaze narrowed and determined. I shivered. I wasn’t sure I’d win a battle of wills withLauren jauregui.

Swallowing, I waited until she lowered her hand and said, “I think we both need to cool off. Take a couple days to think.”

she persisted. “Monday after work.”

The elevator arrived and I stepped into it. Facing her, I countered, “Monday lunch.”

We’d have only an hour, a guaranteed escape.

Just before the doors closed, shesaid, “We’re going to happen, Camila.”

It sounded as much like a threat as a promise.

___

“Don’t sweat it, Camila,” Mark said, when I arrived at my desk nearly a quarter after two. “You didn’t miss anything. I had a late lunch with Mr. Leaman. I just barely got back myself.”

“Thank you.” No matter what he said, I still felt terrible. My kick-ass Friday morning seemed to have happened days ago.

We worked steadily until five, discussing a fast-food client and contemplating some possible tweaks to ad copy for a chain of organic grocery stores.

“Talk about strange bedfellows,” Mark had teased, not knowing how apt that was in regard to my personal life.

I’d just shut down my computer and was pulling my purse out of the drawer when my phone rang. I glanced at the clock, saw it was exactly five, and considered ignoring the call because I was technically done for the day.

But since I was still feeling shitty about my overly-long lunch, I considered it penance and answered. “Mark Garrity’s—”

“Camila honey. Richard says you forgot your cell phone at his office.”

I exhaled in a rush and sagged back into my chair. I could picture the handkerchief wringing that usually accompanied that particular anxious tone of my mother’s. It drove me nuts and it also broke my heart. “Hi, Mom. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m lovely. Thank you.” My mom had a voice that was both girlish and breathy, like Marilyn Monroe crossed with Scarlett Johansson. “Clancy dropped your phone off with the concierge at your place. You really shouldn’t go anywhere without it. You never know when you might need to call for someone—”

I’d been debating the logistics of just keeping the phone and forwarding calls to a new number I didn’t share with my mom, but that wasn’t my biggest concern. “What does Dr. Petersen say about you tracing my phone?”

The silence on the other end of the line was telling. “Dr. Petersen knows I worry about you.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I said, “I think it’s time for us to have another joint appointment, Mom.”

“Oh…of course. He did mention that he’d like to see you again.”

Probably because he suspects you’re not being forthcoming. I changed the subject. “I really like my new job.”

“That’s wonderful, Camila! Is your boss treating you well?”

“Yes, he’s great. I couldn’t ask for anyone better.”

“Is he handsome?”

I smiled. “Yes, very. And he’s taken.”

“Damn it. The good ones always are.” she laughed and my smile widened.

I loved it when she was happy. I wished she were happy more often. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow at the advocacy dinner.”

Sinuhe Cabello Barker Mitchell Stanton was in her element at society functions, a gilded shining beauty who’d never lacked male attention in her life.

“Let’s make a day of it,” my mom said breathlessly. “You, me, and Cary. We’ll go to the spa, get pretty and polished. I’m sure you could use a massage after working so hard.”

“I won’t turn one down, that’s for sure. And I know Cary will love it.”

“Oh, I’m excited! I’ll send a car by your place around eleven?”

“We’ll be ready.”

After I hung up, I leaned back in my chair and exhaled, needing a hot bath and an orgasm. If Lauren Jauregui somehow found out I masturbated while thinking about her, I didn’t care. Being sexually frustrated was weakening my position, a weakness I knew she wouldn't be sharing. No doubt she’d have a preapproved orifice lined up before day’s end.

As I swapped out my heels for my walking shoes, my phone rang again. My mother was rarely distracted for long. The five minutes since we’d ended our call was just about the right length of time for her to realize the cell phone issue hadn’t been resolved. Once again, I debated ignoring the phone, but I didn’t want to take any of the day’s crap home with me.

I answered with my usual greeting, but it lacked its usual punch.

“I’m still thinking about you.”

The velvet rasp of jauregui's voice flooded me with such relief I realized I’d been hoping to hear it again. Today.

God. The craving was so acute I knew she’d become a drug to my body, the prime source of some very intense highs.

“I can still feel you, camila. Still taste you. I’ve been hard since you left, through two meetings and one teleconference. You’ve got the advantage, state your demands.”

“Ah,” I murmured. “Lemme think.”

I let her wait, smiling as I remembered Cary’s comment about blue balls. “Hmm…Nothing is coming to mind. But I do have some friendly advice. Go spend time with a woman who salivates at your feet and makes you feel like a god. Fuck her until neither of you can walk. When you see me on Monday you’ll be totally over it and your life will return to its usual obsessive-compulsive order.”

The creak of leather sounded over the phone and I imagined her leaning back in her desk chair. “That was your one free pass, Camila. The next time you insult my intelligence, I’ll take you over my knee.”

“I don’t like that sort of thing.” And yet the warning, given in that voice, aroused me. Dark and Dangerous for sure.

“We’ll discuss. In the interim, tell me what you do like.”

I stood. “You definitely have the voice for phone sex, but I’ve got to go. I have a date with my vibrator.”

I should’ve hung up then, to gain the full effect of the brush-off, but I couldn’t resist learning if he’d gloat like I had imagined she would. Plus, I was having fun with her.

“Oh, Camila.” Jauregui spoke my name in a decadent purr. “You’re determined to drive me to my knees, aren’t you? What will it take to talk you into a threesome with B.O.B.?”

I ignored both questions as I slung my bag and purse over my shoulder, grateful she couldn't see how my hand shook. I was not discussing Battery Operated Boyfriends withLauren Jauregui. I’d never discussed masturbation openly with a woman or man, let alone a woman who was for all intents and purposes a stranger to me. “B.O.B. and I have a longtime understanding—when we’re done with each other, we know exactly which one of us has been used, and it isn’t me. Good night, Lauren.”

I was so grateful to be home after the day I’d had that I practically danced through my apartment’s front door. My heartfelt “God, it’s good to be home!” and accompanying spin was vehement enough to startle the couple on the couch.

“Oh,” I said, wincing at my own silliness. Cary wasn’t in a compromising position with his guest when I barged in, but they’d been sitting close enough to suggest intimacy.

Grudgingly, I thought of Lauren Jauregui, who preferred to strip all intimacy out of the most intimate act I could imagine. I’d had one-night stands and friends with benefits, and no one knew better than I that sex and making love were two very different things, but I didn’t think I’d ever be able to view sex like a handshake. I thought it was sad that Jauregui did, even though she wasn't a person who inspired pity or sympathy.

“Hey, baby girl,” Cary called out, pushing to his feet. “I was hoping you’d make it back before Trey had to leave.”

“I have class in an hour,” Trey explained, rounding the coffee table as I dropped my bag on the floor and put my purse on a barstool at the breakfast bar. “But I’m glad I got to meet you before I left.”

“Me, too.” I shook the hand he extended to me, taking him in with a quick glance. He was about my age, I guessed. Average height and nicely muscular. He had unruly blond hair, soft hazel eyes, and a nose that had clearly been broken at some point.

“Mind if I grab a glass of wine?” I asked. “It’s been a long day.”

“Go for it,” Trey replied.

“I’ll take one, too.” Cary joined us by the breakfast bar. He was wearing loose-fitting black jeans and an off-the-shoulder black sweater. The look was casual and elegant, and did a phenomenal job of offsetting his dark brown hair and emerald eyes.

I went to the wine fridge and pulled out a random bottle.

Trey shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and rocked back on his heels, talking quietly with Cary as I uncorked and poured.

The phone rang and I grabbed the handset off the wall. “Hello?”

“Hey, Camila? It’s Parker Smith.”

“Parker, hi.” I leaned my hip into the counter. “How are you?”

“I hope you don’t mind my calling. Your stepdad gave me your number.”

Gah. I’d had enough of Stanton for one day. “Not at all. What’s up?”

“Honestly? Everything’s looking up right now. Your stepdad is like my fairy godfather. He’s funding a few safety improvements to the studio and some much-needed upgrades. That’s why I’m calling. The studio’s going to be out of commission for the rest of the week. Classes will resume next Monday.”

I closed my eyes, struggling to tamp down a flare of exasperation. It wasn’t Parker’s fault that Stanton and my mom were overprotective control freaks. Clearly they didn’t see the irony of defending me while I was surrounded by people trained to do that very thing. “Sounds good. I can’t wait. I’m really excited to be training with you.”

“I’m excited, too. I’m going to work you hard, Camila. Your parents are going to get their money’s worth.”

I set a filled glass in front of Cary and took a big gulp out of my own. It never ceased to amaze me how much cooperation money could buy. But again, that wasn’t Parker’s fault. “No complaints here.”

“We’ll get started first thing next week. Your driver has the schedule.”

“Great. See you then.” I hung up and caught the glance Trey shot Cary when he thought neither of us was looking. It was soft and filled with a sweet yearning, and it reminded me that my problems could wait. “I’m sorry I caught you on the way out, Trey. Do you have time for pizza Wednesday night? I’d love to do more than say hi and bye.”

“I have class.” He gave me a regretful smile and shot another side-glance at Cary. “But I could come by on Tuesday.”

“That’d be great.” I smiled. “We could order in and have a movie night.”

“I’d like that.”

I was rewarded with the kiss Cary blew me as he headed to the door to show Trey out. When he returned to the kitchen he grabbed his wine and said, “All right. Spill it, Camila. You looked stressed.”

“I am,” I agreed, grabbing the bottle and moving into the living room.

“It’sLauren Jauregui, isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah. But I don’t want to talk about her.” Although Lauren’s pursuit was exhilarating, hier goal sucked. “Let’s talk about you and Trey instead. How did you two meet?”

“I ran across him on a job. He’s working part time as a photographer’s assistant. Sexy, isn’t he?” His eyes were bright and happy. “And a real gentleman. In an old-school way.”

“Who knew there were any of those left?” I muttered before polishing off my first glass.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry, Cary. He seemed great, and he obviously digs you. Is he studying photography?”

“Veterinary medicine.”

“Wow. That’s awesome.”

“I think so, too. But forget about Trey for a minute. Talk about what’s bugging you. Get it out.”

I sighed. “My mom. she found out about my interest in Parker’s studio and now she’s freaking out.”

“What? How’d she find out? I swear I haven’t told anyone.”

“I know you didn’t. Never even crossed my mind.” Grabbing the bottle off the table, I refilled my glass. “Get this. She’s been tracking my cell phone.”

Cary’s brows rose. “Seriously? That’s…creepy.”

“I know, right? That’s what I told Stanton, but he doesn’t want to hear it.”

“Well, hell.” He ran a hand through his long bangs. “So what do you do?”

“Get a new phone. And meet with Dr. Petersen to see if he can’t talk some sense into her.”

“Good move. Turn it over to her shrink. So…is everything okay with your job? Do you still love it?”

“Totally.” My head fell back into the sofa cushions and my eyes closed. “My work and you are my lifesavers right now.”

What about the young hottie bazillionaire who wants to nail you? Come on, Camila. You know I’m dying here. What happened?”

I told him, of course. I wanted his take on it all. But when I finished, he was quiet. I lifted my head to look at him, and found him bright-eyed and biting his lip.

“Cary? What are you thinking?”

“I’m feeling kind of hot from that story.” He laughed and the warm, richly masculine sound swept a lot of my irritation away. “sHe’s got to be so confused right now. I would’ve paid money to see her face when you hit her with that bit she wanted to spank you over.”

“I can’t believe she said that.” Just remembering Jauregui’s voice when she made that threat had my palms damp enough to leave steam on my glass. “What the hell is she into?”

“Spanking’s not deviant. Besides, she was going for missionary on the couch, so she’s not averse to the basics.” He fell into the couch, a brilliant smile lighting up his handsome face. “You’re a huge challenge to a girl who obviously thrives on them. And she’s willing to make concessions to have you, which I’d bet she’s not used to. Just tell her what you want.”

I split the last of the wine between us, feeling marginally better with a bit of alcohol in my veins. What did I want? Aside from the obvious? “We’re totally incompatible.”

“Is that what you call what happened on her couch?”

“Cary, come on. Boil it down. shepicked me up off the lobby floor, and then asked me to fuck. That’s really it. Even a guy I take home from a bar has more going for him than that. Hey, what’s your name? Come here often? Who’s your friend? What are you drinking? Like to dance? Do you work around here?”

“All right, all right. I get it.” He set his glass down on the table. “Let’s go out. Hit a bar. Dance ’til we drop. Maybe meet some guys who’ll talk you up some.”

“Or at least buy me a drink.”

“Hey, Lauregui offered you one of those in her office.”

I shook my head and stood. “Whatever. Let me take a shower and we’ll go.”

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deanstop13billyjoeltraxx · 3 years

Text

Superposition

a deancas college roommate-AU

Chapter 7 is up on AO3! Chapter-by-chapter masterlist here.

The Gift of Memory’s an Awful Curse

Dean woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He didn’t even bother to check the caller ID before answering with a groggy “Hello?”

“Dean.” It was Bobby’s voice on the other line. “How you feelin’?”

“Fan-friggin’-tastic.”

“Don’t be a baby,” Bobby chastised. “The guy who drove you to the hospital came by the shop yesterday, told me what the doctor said.” Dean groaned. “You’re not comin’ back in until Thursday, you hear?”

“Come on, Bobby,” Dean protested, rubbing his eyes with a free hand. “Honestly, I’m already feelin’ loads better.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Bobby deadpanned. “No, you stay at home and get some rest. I can hold the fort for a week.”

“Whatever you say, old man. Hey, have you looked at Ca- at the guy’s car?”

“Barely. But, seein’ as it’s an old Honda, my best guess is valves are bent.” Bobby was quiet for a moment, then, “Dean, the guy told me his name was Cas Novak.”

Dean closed his eyes, silently begging the powers that be to grant him strength. “Weird name.”

Bobby snorted. “So you’re tellin’ me that’s not the same Cas Novak you met at WSU? The same one you brought home for Christmas? Well, that’s mighty strange, considerin’ he looks exactly like —”

“All right, all right,” Dean said. “Yes, it’s him. Why are we talking about this, anyway?”

“Just wonderin’.”

“Is Ellen still comin’ down for Christmas?” Dean asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from Castiel.

“She called this mornin’, said she and Jo’d be here on the 23rd.”

Ellen and Jo were family, mutual friends of John and Bobby. Since Dean could remember, John had been sending him and Sam back home to Lawrence to spend Christmas with Bobby. He didn’t realize until he was older that it was less “go have fun with your Uncle Bobby,” and more “I can’t stand the holidays and would like to be unconscious for most of them.” A few years before his dad died, when Dean was maybe fifteen, the Harvelle’s started joining them. It became a tradition, the Harvelle-Singer-Winchester Christmas affair.

“I can’t wait to see ‘em,” Dean said, smiling up at the ceiling.

“Yeah, well. When’s Sam gettin’ in?”

“Tonight,” Dean replied. He looked at his watch. Was it really already noon? “‘Round eight, I think.”

“Damn, am I excited to see that boy,” Bobby said. “Well, you two head down here when he’s done gettin’ settled. He’s finally old enough to have a few beers.”

Dean rubbed his mouth for a moment. “Bobby,” he said, “he’s not even gonna be here. Well, he is, but he’s hangin’ out with some girl in friggin’ Kansas City after Christmas.”

“Good for him. ‘Bout damn time, too, he hasn’t even mentioned a girl since that Ruby broke his heart when he was sixteen.”

Dean thought he was going to explode. Was he the only one who saw how cosmically wrong this whole thing was?

“Right,” he grumbled. “Well, I gotta go to the store, get some actual food in the house.” Dean pretty much lived off of ham sandwiches and the occasional fast food burger. “I’ll see you later.”

Dean stood up, testing the waters of movement. He didn’t immediately feel like vomiting, and the room didn’t start spinning, both good signs. Turning on the light in the kitchen, he noticed he still had a mild light-sensitivity, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. Satisfied, he grabbed his keys and the sunglasses Cas had given him, and headed out the door.

As he drove to the Wal-Mart at the edge of town, he wondered idly if he would see Cas again. Dean supposed, at the very least, he might see Cas when he and Bobby had his car fixed. Unless Bobby fixed it before Dean got back to work. He snorted at the thought. That was unlikely.

Thinking about Cas led Dean to thinking about his final days in Wichita, as it always did. He didn’t remember most of that May, or the rest of the year, for that matter. He’d spent the nights drunk and the days endlessly hungover. Dean couldn’t remember going to a single class after his father died in January.

What Dean could remember, what he always remembered, was Cas. Cas waiting for him to return from whatever dorm party he had found, Cas forcing him to drink water, Cas taking his vomit-stained clothes to the laundromat. Cas bandaging his hand after he punched the brick wall of their dorm room one too many times. Cas holding him as he cried.

A honk startled Dean from his thoughts, and he realized he was sitting at a light that had obviously been green for far too long. He sped forward. Maybe he wasn’t okay to drive.

Dean groaned as he pulled into the parking lot. It was packed. He wasn’t sure what he expected — Christmas was little more than a week away. Shit. He had been so busy in the shop that he had forgotten to buy a single gift. Bobby was easy — a fifth of Maker’s Mark and new trucker cap would be enough to bring tears to his eyes. Sam was more difficult; he lived in a different world. Dean thought he remembered that Sam liked Lord of the Rings in high school…

The year before, Dean had written him a check for ten thousand dollars, with “college” written in the memo. Sam had tried to give it back after realizing that was essentially Dean’s entire savings account, built up from working at Singer Auto Repair during the day and bartending the college joints at night. Two years straight. When Dean refused to take it back, saying, “You go and you get a damn degree, all right?”, Sam hugged him until he couldn’t breathe. Dean smiled at the memory. No way he was outdoing himself this year.

Dean picked up the basics from Wal-Mart — eggs, milk, some salad kits for Sam, a couple bags of coffee, some orange juice. He felt like a douchebag, wearing the sunglasses inside, but the fluorescents were unbearable. He grabbed two six-packs of beer to bring to Bobby’s, then surreptitiously added a pack of hard seltzers for his apartment, because, hey, he liked to switch it up.

Dean paid for his groceries and headed to the liquor store to pick up the whiskey for Bobby. Upon seeing a case of boozy eggnog, he couldn’t help remembering his first and only Thanksgiving in Wichita. They downed two pints of the stuff while watching It’s a Wonderful Life. Dean teased that maybe Cas, with his angelic namesake, was his Clarence. Then he fashioned a halo out of toilet paper and they laughed until their ribs hurt.

Dean grabbed a pint at the last second. For good measure.

Sam arrived at Dean’s apartment just after eight, and, Kansas City be damned, Dean was beyond happy to see him. Sam coughed out a laugh as Dean whacked him on the back in the midst of a hug.

“‘S good to see you, Sammy,” Dean said, radiating warmth. “Let’s go, Bobby’s itchin’ to give you a beer.”

Dean let Sam drive the Impala to Bobby’s, peppering him with questions about UT the whole time. Sam gushed about his pre-law classes, which Dean tolerated only because he had just gotten home.

“How’s your head?” Sam asked when he had finished nerding out.

“Fine,” Dean replied. “Fluorescents still make it hurt like a bitch, but honestly, I’m fine.”

Sam turned into the shop parking lot, the windows of Bobby’s apartment above providing the only light against the dark. “Hey, you never really answered my question yesterday.”

“What question?”

“That guy, who drove you to the hospital,” Sam said, carefully. “Was it Cas?”

Dean shut his eyes, willing himself against getting out and slamming the door behind him. He was not looking forward to this conversation. “Yeah. It was Cas.”

“He’s back?”

“No. I don’t know, man, he’s on his way to Kansas City for some big boy job.”

“Did you guys… You know…”

Dean gave him an incredulous look. “What, did we kiss and make up like some Hallmark movie?”

“Dean —”

“Sam, just leave it,” he growled. “Come on. Bobby’s waitin’.” The kid had been home for thirty minutes, and he was already giving Dean a headache.

Bobby greeted them with the biggest smile Dean had ever seen him wear. He pulled Sam into a tearful hug and clapped Dean on the shoulder. The three made their way to the kitchen.

Dean was driving, and still concussed, so he contented himself with a diet Coke and a few slices of the pizza Bobby had ordered while Bobby got beers for Sam and himself. Sam asked how the shop was going, earning about ten minutes of Bobby begrudgingly praising Dean for all his hard work. Dean fidgeted in his seat, face flamed from the compliments, doing his best to insist that it was a team effort, really. Sam beamed at him.

Dean changed the subject, prompting Sam to tell them both about college, despite having already heard the spiel on the drive over. Dean let his mind wander while Sam talked.

Bobby had been the one to call when Dean’s father had died. Dean remembered, it was the Monday after his nineteenth birthday, a snowy January morning. Classes had been cancelled, so he and Cas were watching Dead Poets Society in their room to celebrate.

“Wait, pause it, I gotta take this. Hey, Bobby! How’s it goin’?”

“Dean, I hate to be the one to tell you this. John…”

“Dad? What’s wrong?”

“He’s dead, son. I’m sorry.”

Dean had dropped his cell phone on the floor. It shattered.

Dean remembered emptying his school backpack and filling it with clothes, his toothbrush, some shampoo. He walked straight to the Impala, his hands shaking, tears clouding his vision.

“Dean. Dean! What happened?”

“I gotta go, Cas. I’ll explain everything later.”

“Dean, the roads — we have class!”

“Screw the roads and screw class. Family emergency.”

He’d made it to Lawrence in record time.

He hadn’t even told Bobby he was coming, but he was waiting for Dean anyway. He found out that John had had one too many at the bar that night, but insisted on driving home, anyway. He ran into a tree going sixty, died on impact. Sam had been spending the night with a friend. Bobby drove him down to Amarillo, where John had been working one of his odd-jobs that was sure to dead-end when he started leaving beer bottles on site. Dean didn’t speak the whole way there, not until they picked Sammy up. Sam was crying. Dean wished he could cry, too. He felt like he was going to fracture into a million pieces. But he’d felt that before. Not this bad, never this bad, but broken all the same. He did what he always did. He hugged Sammy tight and told him it was going to be okay, everything is going to be okay.

The next thirty-six hours were spotty. A small funeral, just the three of them. Dean telling Bobby he wasn’t going back to school, he had to take care of Sam. Bobby staring daggers. He’d take care of Sam, Dean would finish that degree if it was the last thing he did. An argument, the only time Bobby had ever yelled at him. Dean and Sam sitting on the couch, sharing headphones and listening to Black Sabbath. Bobby pushing him out the door. Driving back to Wichita, numb.

The painful memory was interrupted when Bobby said his name.

“...We’d love to meet her, right Dean?”

Dean shook his head and blinked. “What?”

“Sam’s girl,” Bobby supplied. Sam blushed, looking at Dean.

“What about her?” Dean grumbled.

“I was gonna bring her around,” Sam said.

Dean wanted to be righteously angry with Sam for not telling him sooner, and for dipping out on him at the first sight of something better. But the kid just looked so damn hopeful.

He let out a long-suffering sigh. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’d love to meet her.”

They stayed at Bobby’s until midnight, reminiscing about past Christmases, the years Sam and Dean spent under Bobby’s roof. Eventually, Bobby whined about being too old to stay up so late, and that was their cue. Sam was properly tipsy, and Dean was exhausted. They bade each other good night, and Dean and Sam headed home.

Dean didn’t bother putting on music for the fifteen-minute drive. The Impala was silent as Dean drove, watching the yellow streetlights pass.

“Dean,” Sam said, “What’s up with you today?”

He was talking with the level of verve only achievable through alcohol. Dean gripped the steering wheel a little harder. Drunk people always asked too many questions.

“Nothing.”

“No, no, no, man.” Sam waved his hand for emphasis. “You’re messed up. You’ve been messed up. You know what —” he shifted upright in his seat “—you gotta talk to Cas.”

“I’m not gonna do that,” Dean said shortly.

“Why not?” Sam demanded.

“I’m just not, okay? Jesus. You need to go to sleep.”

“Not true,” Sam argued. “Listen, I know that he left or whatever, but I’m sure he had a good reason, you know, and you loved him, Dean —”

Dean slammed on the brakes. The Impala screeched to a halt as the light in front of them turned red.

“What?” He asked in a low voice. “What did you say?”

Sam scoffed at him. “I mean, you weren’t trying to hide it or anything.”

“Sam,” Dean warned. “Stop talking. I mean it.”

“I’m just saying, the way you talked about him, the way you two were at Christmas, I’m pretty sure nothing he could have done —”

Dean punched the steering wheel. The Impala’s horn sounded. Sam looked at him in shock. The light was green. Dean took a deep breath and hit the gas, both hands gripping the wheel for dear life, now.

“We’re done talking about this,” Dean said.

He felt like he was having deja vu. After Cas left school, just after spring break, Bobby had called Dean to see how he was getting on. He’d put Sam on the phone. Sam was only fourteen, but already smart as hell, sometimes able to see through Dean’s bullshit.

“How’s Cas?”

“He’s a shithead, that’s how he is.”

“Dean, what? I thought —”

“Yeah, well, stop thinking. Fucker is gone. Guess he found someplace better to be.”

“What happened?”

“Fuck if I know. But this is the last time I’m talking about that son of a bitch.”

Dean pulled up to his apartment, anger and regret swirling in his head. He shouldn’t have yelled at Sam. He knew that. But Sam — well, sober Sam — knew better than to bring up Cas in any capacity.

Sam exited the Impala silently. Dean’s outburst must have been enough to shatter the alcoholic haze. Dean locked the doors and led Sam up to his door.

“What’s that?” Sam asked.

Dean looked up from fumbling with his keys. There was a brown paper bag taped to his door, his name written on the front in clean, capital letters.

“No clue,” Dean replied, ripping the bag off the door. He unlocked the door and headed straight for the bedroom.

“Dean, come on,” Sam started, but Dean interrupted him.

“We can talk about it in the morning. Get some rest,” he grumbled.

Dean closed the bedroom door and set the bag down on his bed. He took off his jacket. Shed his t-shirt. Unlaced his boots. Splashed some water on his face. Brushed his teeth. Traded his jeans for sweatpants.

Finally, when he could avoid it no longer, he opened the bag.

Inside was… the Tombstone DVD. Dean picked it up, brow furrowed. He opened it, and the disk was there, along with a Starbucks napkin, tucked into the left side. This, too, had his name in that same, clean script. He unfolded the napkin, and read:

DEAN—

I WAS IN THE AREA THIS EVENING, SO I STOPPED BY TO SEE HOW YOU WERE FEELING, BUT YOU WERE OUT. YOU GAVE THIS TO ME IN COLLEGE. IT’S ABOUT TIME I RETURNED IT TO YOU.

IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, FEEL FREE TO CALL.

—CAS

Cas had written his phone number below the note. Dean frowned as he looked at the DVD once more. That dumbass. Dean had given it to him, it had been a gift. If this was some sort of peace offering, it was crap. He grabbed his phone and punched in the number.

DW (12:52 am)

movie was a gift, u keep those

DW (12:53 am)

but i guess u don’t want shit from me anymore

He knew he was being a dick, but, well, Cas had been a dick first. And it was late, anyway. Cas was probably already asleep. He didn’t expect a response tonight. Actually, he didn’t expect any response, at any time. He threw his phone on the pillow and got up to turn out the lights.

Dean flopped into bed, but was surprised to feel his phone buzz.

CN (12:55 am)

Apologies. I did not intend to upset you.

Dean squinted in consternation. Why was Cas even awake — wasn’t he some capital-A-adult, now? He was an accountant, with a job at an honest-to-god accounting firm. Shouldn’t he eat his BLT for dinner and be in bed by eight p.m.? Dean snorted at his own mental image.

He didn’t bother to respond, finding nothing more to say. He laid back down in bed, but his thoughts were too loud for sleep. He stared at the ceiling fan. It offered no advice.

Dean sighed. He was pissed. At Sam, at Cas, at himself. Still at his dad, always at his dad. So he did what he always did when he had nowhere to direct the anger.

“You motherfucker,” he whispered to the fan. “You waltz in here, with your college degree and your cushy office job. You drive me to the hospital and pretend you care. Well, guess what, you’re not allowed to care. You left, okay? We were friends, we were… We were family. I needed you, but you didn’t care then. So you can’t care now. You don’t get to come back here and remind me of everything I almost had. Fuck you. In every possible language, fuck you, man.”

The pressure behind his eyes lessened. The anger was still there, still burning beneath the surface, but this was enough for now. A temporary catharsis. A way to keep his sanity. He didn’t believe in God — couldn’t, really, after everything — but this was the closest thing he had to a prayer. He’d started after John died, after he’d realized that burying the guilt and the sadness in alcohol was killing him. When Sam got the scholarship to UT, he’d done it again, voicing the jealousy and fear that he’d never allow himself in the daylight. He didn’t know if it was healthy, but he also didn’t care. It kept him going. He could walk into work every day with a smirk on his face, call Sammy and crack jokes, flirt with female customers after he changed their oil. Screaming into the void kept the “passed-out drunk” nights to a minimum. It kept him from becoming his father.

His only lifeline. He was not, would never be, John Winchester.

-----

tagging @nguyenxtrang :)))

#destiel #supernatural #destiel fanfic #superposition

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1102

survey by joybucket

What color are your eyes? They are dark brown. They’re actually really more of black because of how dark they are, but that sounds creepy so let’s just go with really really dark brown.

What's your favorite type of milk? I don’t take a lot of milk and am not familiar with most of them.

What's your passion? What a deep, introspective question three questions into this survey lmao. My interests are always changing so I don’t really give much thought into this. I don’t let myself be bound to just one thing.

What's your favorite color? I really like the way baby pink looks on everything.

Are you shy? Sure, but I’m trying to break out of that shell. Based from hundreds of past experiences, being shy is the easiest way to be forgettable and I’m tired of people never remembering my name or anything about me.

What is/was your favorite school subject? History. Anything about it I will surely enjoy.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yes.

What's your favorite quote? I don’t keep track of quotes.

What is your natural hair color? It’s black.

Do you like it? There’s nothing to complain about. I’d love to have it dyed just to try out something new with my look, because it’s been black and untouched for 23 years; I guess it’s just a matter of when I’ll push through with it.

Are you happy with the way you look? I wish some aspects were different, like my hair to be less frizzy, my front teeth to be straight, my eyesight to be clearer, etc. But it’s also whatever; I don’t really focus on these things too much as I’ve never been the type of person to concentrate on my physical looks.

What would you change about your appearance if you could? ^ Well, those things I listed. Also, to have boobs?? Puberty never did anything for me in that department.

What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I’d move the bed up against the wall because that’s always been more my vibe. If I had the energy, I’d buy a storage container and place all Gab-related stuff in there so I can finally hide away those things (but not entirely throw them out). I would also fix my closet, all three sections of it. I’d also love to get a homey and soothing night lamp and be able to regularly buy scented candles to de-stress at the end of the day. In other news, my room has remained stale for so long and needs a revamp HAHAHA.

Are you rich or poor? I’d say we are in the middle, but our financial situation throughout Covid has been making me increasingly worry.

Are you double jointed? Nope.

What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? The time I ripped my ear piercing, and my foot infection from snorkeling. Also getting my blood drawn, but that’s only because I’m a big baby when it comes to sharp things.

Do you like shots? See above.

Are you afraid of spiders? Our spiders are never too large or look menacing where I live, so not really. I’m aware of how big they can get in other places though so I totally understand the widespread hatred for spiders lol.

Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? Not sure if it’s an allergy, but my legs quickly get irritated if they’re exposed in a grassy area for too long. My face also doesn’t seem to appreciate face masks, (the skincare kind), but I’m not sure if that’s an allergic reaction or if face masks are meant to do that.

Name a food that you like that's green. Green curry, or broccoli.

Do you like to read? Yes. More of non-fiction, though. I haven’t read a fiction book since I wasssss probably in middle school or early high school.

Do you know what your purpose in life is? No. I don’t stress out over stuff like this lol, I just make sure I’m happy where I am and at the same time, still feel fulfilled with the things I’m doing.

Are you lonely? I can be, but I guess it’s just meant to happen sometimes.

What's something you are good at? Reading people. Sometimes to my benefit, sometimes otherwise.

What's a color that looks great on you? Olive green and maroon are my favorite shades.

What's something you would like to improve at? Being creative. My work requires a lot of it and I end up being a shitty teammate whenever we have to do brainstorming, because I literally just stay to the side, unable to think of anything.

Do you believe you have great potential? Yes.

What's one word to describe you? Right now? Tired.

Are you spiritual? Nope.

What's one thing that you get a lot of compliments on? My writing.

What's one hidden talent that you have? I dunno if it counts as a talent but I memorize a great deal of songs from Jay-Z and Kanye’s Watch the Throne album, which has always been a fun ‘talent’ to whip out and surprise friends with when we’re partying at a club/bar and a song from the album is suddenly played.

What are three girls' names that you really like? I love Olivia, Mia, and Harper. I’ve probably listed those names a thousand times on these surveys by now.

What are three boys' names that you really like? I like Liam, Mason, and Lucas.

What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? The prettiest place I’ve been to was probably Palawan.

What is your favorite pizza topping? Just cheese is fine with me. If that doesn’t count, bell peppers come second. I can definitely live without the other usual toppings like pepperoni, beef, etc.

Name a food that you like that's red. I said green curry in the green foods question, and I’ll answer red curry here, haha.

Are you color blind? Nope.

Have you ever had a crush? Yes.

Can you type fast? I can and I do on a daily basis.

What's your favorite type of cereal? Erm, I’ve never tried them before but I’m drawn to cereals that are rather sweet lol, like Reese’s Puffs or Hershey’s Kisses cereal line. The thing is, they’re classified as one of the luxury imported brands over here so their prices are very unreasonable for a box of cereal, and I never get to have them as a result. Otherwise I don’t enjoy cereal too much.

What is one of your dreams? I would love to have a family.

What are your top three favorite colors? Baby pink, white, and mustard yellow.

What is your favorite book? I don’t have one.

What is your favorite amusement park ride? Ones that would provide enough thrill but won’t make me pass out, like the octopus.

What are three middle names you wouldn't mind having? Idk, I’m fine with my second name. I actually really like the name Isabelle and at one point I unsuccessfully tried to make it my main name, back when I still hated Robyn.

Are you flexible? Not really anymore. I used to be, kind of.

Do you consider yourself religious? Not at all. I haven’t been in around five years. I’ve been atheist since I was in the 4th grade, then I had this very sudden (but very brief) change of heart back in senior year when I started praying a lot. I went back to atheism as soon as I started university.

Are you bold? I can be, but it’s not one of my principal traits.

Are you spontaneous? It’s nice to be every once in a while, but I’m not always.

Do you have a significant other? No.

What's your pet peeve? Lateness.

How tall are you? Just a little over 5 feet, which does not classify me as tall at all.

What's your sexual orientation? Demi. I’ve also been increasingly self-identifying as asexual, so let’s go with that too.

Can you sing? Nope.

Can you dance? Nope, but I still do it when I’m alone.

Can you draw? No.

Do you play an instrument? I mean, just the recorder, but I don’t know if that counts.

What school subject do you hate the most? Chemistry. I struggled with it both in high school and in college. I hated physics and geometry too, but at least I got better at them as I got older. Chemistry is just far too complicated for me to appreciate.

What's your least favorite color? Most shades of yellow and neon green.

Do you eat healthy? I wouldn’t say I exclusively eat healthily, but I do keep a good balance in the food I consume. I enjoy my junk food as much as I like eating vegetables.

Do you think you look better with short or long hair? I’d say short.

What's a color that doesn't look good on you? White.

Are you passionate? Sure.

Are you doing the most you can with your life? Right now, with the world falling apart around me? I definitely try to. I have a great job, I spoil myself and try out new things for myself every now and then, I’ve pulled myself out from the rut I used to be in a few months ago, etc. I guess I can say I like where I am.

Are you proud of yourself for the way you are living? See above.

Do you love yourself? I've started taking a couple of steps down that path.

Do you have regrets? Sure.

Do you have wishes and dreams? Of course.

Do you have a huge secret you are keeping from the world? I suppose so.

Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah, I get quite a lot of compliments on my penmanship in general. I liked practicing my writing as soon as I learned how to properly hold a pencil, so I guess all those times served as good training.

Name a current favorite song. I dunno but Hayley is set to release a new album by tomorrow so a couple of songs from there will most definitely end up being a favorite.

List a song lyric that you like. “Can you live with what you know about yourself when you're all alone, behind closed doors?”

Are you happy? I think so. I’m definitely not as sad as I used to be.

Are you a generally optimistic person? I try to be, but I allow myself to be negative or realistic sometimes.

Have you ever had something horrible happen to you? Between deaths in the family, depression and other mental health issues, and personal life events that were less than nice, absolutely.

Have you ever been abused? Sure.

Have you ever been harassed and/or bullied? I was bullied as a kid because of my name, and as a result it was difficult to make friends for years. I’ve never been harassed though.

Do you love nature? Yes, I love being around nature when I get the chance.

Are you free-spirited? I wouldn’t consider myself that. I like being on the careful side when it comes to many things.

Are you carefree? Not really.

Would you say you are an overcomer? Yup.

Are you a good friend? I hope I am.

Do you like animals? Love them, except insects.

Do you meditate? No. I actually tried yoga for the first time yesterday because that’s what my workout app had planned for me, but I quickly learned that I am way too impatient for it, lmao. The whole session was meant to be I think 30 minutes? but I quit by like the 14-minute mark and did another program. Idk, I guess it’s just not for me.

Do you pray? No.

What month were you born in? April.

What's your favorite season? We don’t have the usual four seasons but I’m gonna go ahead and say winter because it’s what appeals to me most.

What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I want to keep coming back to Sagada.

What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? Thailand.

What's your favorite type of tree? I don’t have one.

Are you laid-back? I tend to be uptight most of the time, actually.

Are you hard on yourself? Yes.

How's your self-esteem? It’s been getting better, but sometimes I still can’t help but feel insecure.

What medical conditions do you/have you had? Scoliosis.

What are you allergic to? I have had itchy, irritable reactions to face masks and grass before, but not sure if they’re allergies.

Do you like to try new things? For sure, as long as it’s not a crime or if it involves my fears lmfao. Like I would be willing to skydive or dye my hair a strange color, but I’d never scheme a burglary or jump in a tub of cockroaches.

What's one word to describe your style? Chic.

What's one word to describe your bedroom? Plain. I definitely need to mix it up so that it can feel more like who I am.

What's one thing you like about yourself? I like that I’ve always been able to surpass difficulties and come out a better person from them, instead of letting them consume me.

What's one thing you dislike about yourself? I need to stop blaming myself for things out of my control.

Are you competitive? To a fault.

Are you faithful? Sure.

Can you cook? Hell no.

What's your favorite restaurant? Ramen Nagi.

#survey #surveys #kinda basic-ish but not really which works out v well for me

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