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nobodysdaydreams · 7 months

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I STARTED WOLF359 SEASON 2 AND FOUND SOMEONE I HATE MORE THAN HILBERT! (Or: my reaction to episodes 14-20 of WOLF359).

Gonna keep my intro for this one short and just dive right into it.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that. And for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs

Episode 14: The Kambaya Approach

Um… keyboard clicks and music?? WHO IS THIS? Goddard Futuristics? Who is David? Who is Saul? Rachel? WHY ARE YOU THREATENING TO THROW RACHEL OFF A BUILDING?

Ah a telephone! Could it be our crew?

Oh so THIS is Cutter. Who seems to be Hilbert’s boss. Don’t like him. Oh no did Hilbert find a way to contact him?

Oh now THERE is the telephone sound I heard at the end of last episode.

Renee? Oh so that’s her name. It’s a nice name. But I would prefer you called her “Commander Mincowski” Cutter. Give her respect, and stop acting so chipper. It’s easy to be that confident when you’re not the one in space.

And what kind of boss makes his employees work on Christmas or the day after?

Oh cool Hilbert’s name is Alexander? Wow, so cool, ✨I don’t care✨.

Cutter really seems to love the supervillain monologue. Yeah Doug, good call don’t tell them about the signal…

OH HE’S TRYING TO TEAR THEM APART. SHUT IT CUTTER. WHATEVER SECRETS MINCOWSKI AND HERA HAVE ARE NOTHING ON YOUR TOMFOOLERY.

Incredible. I did not think it was possible for me to hate someone as much as Hilbert so quickly, but he did it! Less than six minutes into season 2, and by golly Mr. Cutter did it! Round of applause for him ladies and gentlemen, truly despicable, I hope he gets his karma.

A complete waste of space. Horrible loser man.

Why do I not believe they’re actually on hold? Mincowski, please listen to him. But Doug get to the point: HILBERT WAS TRYING TO CONTACT CUTTER. HE LITERALLY SAID THAT.

Just pretend like Hilbert went insane.

YES! Taking my advice, smart play, smart play, act like you know nothing, tell them info they’d already know or could easily deduce anyway.

…Cutter. Stop calling her Renee! And stop being like this! What in the supervillain nonsense?

Oh money, of course it’s about money. And the backhanded compliments. OF COURSE DOUG IS THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB HE’S THE ONLY OTHER MAN ABOARD.

Cutter man, your laugh… I picture him in a high school uniform kicking his feet in the air on his bed as he giggles to himself like an evil little schoolboy. “Hee hee hee I’m killing people in space 🤩” … shut up Cutter.

Okay. So. I know I wanted Hilbert to die earlier. But um… I think I might want Cutter to die more. Yeah… I’d be careful with what you transmit to Cutter. VERY careful.

Oh he knows. Doug he knows. You’re screwed. You’re… you’re completely done for.

Aw, Renee has a cute laugh. She’s nice. At least she and Doug are getting along.

But… will it be easy to get Hera back online? It’d better be. They better save her.

“No I’m not.” GOOD FOR YOU RENEE! Get something out of Hilbert. And yeah, watch the programming. Make sure if you DO get her back online that Hilbert can’t influence her.

Cutter’s instructions are BS… or wait! Is that Hera? Please be Hera.

Oh it’s the voices! It sounds like the echo in an indoor swimming pool.

“I don’t know who you are. I know you have no reason to believe anything that I’m about to say, and I know there’s nothing I can do to prove to you that this isn’t some kind of trick. But please believe me for your own sake”.

Solid start.

CAPTAIN ISABEL LOVELACE! I KNEW IT! Wait is it Lovelace or loveless??? Guess I’ll find out.

Oh the Hephaestus… but… WAIT. Are they in a time vortex? Are they getting signals from the past? Because Lovelace’s mission is over, her lab is sealed off. 955 days ago, okay, so longer than their mission, and a bigger crew too, 5 people plus Lovelace. And yeah, we got the lying thing down. and… yeah the “never make it back to earth” was also quite clear and VERY unethical. They played Hilbert like a fiddle. For a smart man, he’s far too trusting. Cutter was probably planning to shoot him the second he landed.

Communications and science officer got sick? Uh… sick from what? The astrophysicist just VANISHED? Okay… that doesn’t happen. It’s space! Where exactly could he go?

One thing is clear. These aren’t missions. They’re trials. The crew are lab rats. Though I must say, this is a very poorly designed experiment. What on earth are they even testing?

Oh right, Dr. Selburg. Wait. No. The spiders!

…but why would they be experimenting with that? If my crew was dead, and I found out I was sent to die, and I was in that situation, my first thought would not be “bummer. Oh well. Guess it’s time to make some poison spiders grow 🥰”. I honestly don’t know WHAT I’d do in that situation, but I can promise you, it wouldn’t be that.

And who is “THEY”? Command? And what something else??? THE EMPTY MAN?

Are… are the crews connected across time and space? Are they each other’s empty man? No, that wouldn’t match the messages’ warnings. Would be cool though.

“You’re not the first. We were here. Get out before it’s too late for you too.”

Poor Lovelace. And we never do find out what happens. Also Hilbert talked about a lot of other missions, implying that there were more AND that he was on them and somehow made it out alive.

Was he the astrophysicist that vanished?

Also the empty man messages: “There’s no way out…but there is a way in.” In where? Where are they supposed to go if they can’t get out?

Yikes. I guess that’s it then.

Episode 15: What’s Up Doc?

I like the title. Let’s see how the dear old doctor is doing. Perhaps he’ll be more cooperative when he finds out that his boss ordered his demise. But I doubt it.

Ah. Doug’s logs. Might want to be careful with what you say. Day 583.

Red menace’s damage to our autopilot 😂 Good to see Doug has his sense of humor. I think he’s gonna need it.

51 systems with glitches? You need Hera.

He’s playing chess? Well, looks like Doug and I have procrastination in common.

I’d hate playing any game with Hilbert. Chess or otherwise.

Huh. They don’t even have a record of Isabel Lovelace in the air force. Unless… wait crazy theory time: if time warping is a part of this, maybe Isabel is from a FUTURE crew of the Hephaestus not the past. It’s a possibility.

Also side note, but anytime I share literally any of my theories from this show, I get tons of comments that say things like “grinning like the Cheshire Cat right now”. Which is funny, because I do that when I read comments on my fanfics, and that grin usually means one thing: you found the pieces. You have all the pieces. But you won’t put them together and you won’t realize what they mean until it’s too late. I hope that’s not the case here. And if you’re Sophie please disregard this. And to the other TMBS mutuals, if you’re still reading my stuff, please disregard this.

Mincowski knows about Lovelace! Oh she doesn’t remember hearing the name in the lab. Wait… can they not remember the lab?

Yeah, we might want to isolate Hilbert a bit more. Maybe a few more days.

Oh dear. “Don’t get distracted”. Doug, please tell me you brought some adderall on board.

YOU DID MURDER HERA HILBERT. HOW DARE YOU CALL HER A PROGRAM? AND YOU ATTEMPTED TO MURDER YOUR OTHER CREW MATES FOR A MAN WHO JUST ORDERED YOUR EXECUTION.

APPLIANCE?? He’s calling her an APPLIANCE? Hilbert. You better start coughing up some info.

Haha… her imitation of his accent 😂

Apple! 😋 I love apples. 🍎 Just the thing for my hypoglycemia. Nature’s instant sugar. You might want to consider the offer Hilbert. After going days without food, you should be craving something sugary right about now.

NOW HE’S CALLING DOUG A PET MONKEY? THAT IS IT. EAT THE APPLE IN FRONT OF HIM MINCOWSKI. HE DOESN’T DESERVE IT.

On that note, I just remembered I sliced myself up an apple earlier in the fridge. Bods’ snack time! 🥰

Don’t like how confident Hilbert is about the airlock. … oh Hilbert using it as leverage.

You can still be tortured Hilbert. Slowly and painfully tortured.

“You break me? You have no idea who I am what I have done what I have endured”.

Well, we know you’re a murderous loser and pawn Hilbert. Perhaps you shouldn’t overestimate yourself.

HOW DARE YOU CALL MINCOWSKI A COWARD? HE’S IMPLYING THE WHOLE REASON SHE’D JOIN THE ARMY IS TO KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO KILL BUT DOESN’T HAVE THE GUTS?

Uh Hilbert man wtf is up with your world view?

“No one who matters ends up in a place like this one”

Self-esteem issues doctor?

Also what was THAT? Doug? Empty man? Blessie?

No. Doug do not. Do not. He’s running experiments on you. He’s probably been waiting for this.

He’s annoying him to death. I love it 😂.

The good times? When you tried to kill each other?

Afraid of folks back home? Now that might actually be something. And yeah, they have been lying to you.

The truth about how you ended up here? Oh was I right? Did he do crimes?

Hilbert, I think that she’d respect Doug more than you. I certainly do.

Okay good, he didn’t murder anyone. Nice to know.

Hard drive? Oh right his secret experiments.

And he probably has more backups somewhere. But for the ones we have…

✨It’s Hammer Time ✨

He’s a geneticist? Why just question this now?

Radioactively charged microbes make more soap products… is soap products a code for something.

Renee. RENEE. You are on point, but… Doug is a friend.

Mission on the ship? Wolf359 unique energy signal different from other stars. Properties used for mutations… viruses?

Doug, Hilbert doesn’t strike me as the cancer curing type.

Man made retrovirus? Reverse cellular damage? That’s huge. Theoretically… it could reverse aging… and death.

Decima is “unmanageable”?? “Active environment??” HIS BLOOD STREAM?

That is VERY illegal. You used your colleague as incubator for your pet virus? And no. No apples for you doctor. You don’t deserve apples. Apples are for people who don't do unethical science on their friends!

Episode 16: Painfully Ever After

This one is not going to be as detailed because I'm also half doing work, but I have no self control and need to know more.

...My goodness I really AM like Eiffel. I think it's the ADHD. Let's blame that.

Also..."navigation off by a few clicks...probably not important".

Um...not critical maybe, but why is navigation off? Don't think you can just slip little details like that in there and not expect me to notice. Don't think you can use my own schemes against me.

Remember when Mincowski nearly shot Hilbert over ice cream? Those were the days...

Man this apple is delicious 😋🍎.

And yeah. No painfully ever after. We still have several seasons left. We need Hera!

I agree about the math Eiffel. I got a test coming up. I should be studying, but this is clearly more important.

Ugh. Don't give Hilbert food. Not a lot at least and not the good stuff. Just enough to keep him alive. Barely anything. I want him to be nothing but skin and bones.

Don't like the ominous music.

Everyone has their limits...oh good point! Hilbert needed a fail safe plan. DO NOT SHUT THE DOOR. DO NOT TALK TO HIM.

DON'T LET HIM FIX HERA HE'S GOING TO HURT HER CODE. EXACTLY! HE IS GOING TO TRY SOMETHING! AND I'D BE A LITTLE PARANOID TOO IF EVERYONE AROUND ME HAD SO MANY SECRETS!

"I'd do anything to help get her back online again, but I'm not letting him mess around in her mind again. She deserves better" / "Yes she does" 🥺

Hera! You need to come back! You need to know that your friends care about you!

...and...and I really hope Cutter isn't already doing anything to her to make her betray them. I really hope so.

Cranial reconstruction surgery? Wow, they really did model her after a human brain. Dangerous move.

And Hilbert. Dude. Lack of trust? You. Tried. To. Murder. Everyone. On. Board.

Why would they trust you?

"Tell me you're not still obsessing over your experimental exposure, as long as I maintain it's dormancy, you have nothing to worry about." Oh great. I can't tell you how many times I've read or heard in fiction that as long as X doesn't happen, then Y won't happen, and X is such a low probability it probably isn't even worth worrying about.

Sure, what could possibly go wrong? It's just a teeny tiny itty bitty baby killer virus 🦠🥺 all it wants to do is swim around in Doug's blood stream and not make any trouble I'm sure.

Improve the lives of millions? Uh, Hilbert. What exactly is your definition of improvement?

Yeah...how was command aware of alien life? What made them want to look for that?

"Survival depends on never ever keeping information from Mr. Cutter"

...

Oh dear.

And what does Mr. Cutter want with aliens? Probably to kill them, that seems to be a hobby of his. I guess he got bored of killing members of his own species and animals from his own planet so he decided to set his sights farther afield.

CHANGES IN PROGRAM? But...what about Hera? The Hera that's our friend? ...don't like that noise... REALLY don't like that noise.

HILBERT WHAT DID YOU DO?

HILBERT. YOU IDIOT. YOU BUFFOON. YOU USELESS DUM-DUM.

Wait.

HERA!!!!!!!!

She's alive 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

YIPPIE!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Hm. Looks likes Hera's back. A bit more sarcastic, but she's back. And yeah, get Hilbert away.

Hera saved them! I knew she could do it! 🥰

Glad alpha victor is deleted. But we should keep the gag on. He could have more code.

Good job captain. Use those direct orders!

Something to write with? Oh boy...what on earth has Hilbert been doing?

“I missed you.” Aw. “ I wanna hang out with you and talk”. Aw. See Hera. They do care. 🥺 Aw he's sleeping. 😴 Goodnight Doug. Hopefully there will be answers in the morning.

Episode 17: Bach to the Future

I like the title. Does this mean the music is coming back?

Yeah Hilbert. Have a good long think about what you've done.

Wait are they...bored? Bored because there is no crisis? But there's like a thousand mysteries on board on the ship.

"It's like someone moved everything off just a tiny bit...so small that you don't even notice anything's off until you try to find something, and then you can't find anything".

Why do I think that's not just a metaphor for Hera's brain?

Star charts? Why do I think those might not be harmless?

Rock climbing and trail hiking are good hobbies. And... yeah a bit odd she has a husband she hasn't seen in over a year and hasn't told any of them about.

HERA 😂. "I though that was a typo".

Mr. Kodeleka? (I think that's the spelling). Foreign correspondent for the globe?

Oh dear. Oh Mincowski. This is so sad. She needs to get home now. 💔

More music! 🎶📻

Aw, Hera. 🥰 I love watching them become better friends.

Why DID they send you up here? Something to keep him occupied? Keep him from being bored? What IS his job? Dying, but what else?

...not all superintelligences are created equal. And who made you randomized? Wait you did psych evals and behavioral tests? That's a lot emotionally for the first six months of your existence. Even if you have adult superintelligence auto-established, you still don't have experience using it. Or practice controlling your emotions. In a lot of ways, you’re still just a kid. A baby even.

Hera...Hera what happened to you? No, Hera you and Doug matter so much. Wait was Hera crying?

Oh yeah the music? Bach...and yeah Doug she has recording capabilities. She could play that back easily. You lost.

Only one star? Glessee 163? 46 light years away from current position? Red dwarf, similar to Wolf359? Interesting...

Did they send a different crew to 163?

555? Oh finally one she doesn't know! "Good communication habits. Be in touch with other crewmembers."

Bet over. Wow. Doug has really been holding that in.

Haha...oh dear. 59 mins 29 sec. Poor Doug. Close but no cigar. Ha, exactly.

Oh dear. Doug has broken. Hilbert ugh why is he still on the line?

Episode 18: Happy To Be Of Assistance

"Why was it that easy to kill everyone! I never thought it would be that easy!"

...uh Hera? Why were you thinking about it at all? Did Cutter do something to you? Are you trying to kill them and like...dragging your...hypothetical feet about it?

Oh good the hidden lab.

...hopefully the spiders are dead...

And hopefully this is where they FINALLY remember who Lovelace is.

Alien Mothership? Advanced scout? Back of head and under tentacles? Is this a joke? Oh it is. I like her.

Lambert? Who is this?

Day 97, early in the mission then. So who is the crew? Dr. Selburg. Dr. Who and Who? Officer Fischer? Okay so Lambert is communications? Reya? Oh so that's their AI. But it looks like she just beeps.

Ha their reactions to Lovelace😂

Yeah they have a lot of crew. Gen0 AI? Hm.

Day 383. Wait WHOSE PROJECTIONS WERE OFF? (Hilbert?)

Day 435. Selburg again. Oh Fischer is dead. Oh dear. Weird that Hilbert isn't mentioned when he had other missions. I wonder what name he was using.

Yeah...Day 944...so they left them? Weird that the timelines don't match up.

Oh wow...when they are in the room Hera can't even tell who she's speaking too. Unless...yeah something's up.

More Lovelace: At night when alone? Noise in the walls? Um...Blessie? Empty man? Anyone?

Another crew member died. Oh dear. It seems Dr. Selburg survived a good while. I hope that's not Hilbert's alias.

Oh. The crew member who died. He had a family too. 🥺.

Cutter needs to be ended.

Lovelace, I don't think Goddard Futuristics ever cared to begin with. Sam Lambert. So that's his name.

Run and hide? Dr. Selburg and Lovelace have a way off? Um...maybe don't tell them that. But I love the attitude.

Eiffel, this seems like a bit of a happy attitude, if they got away, then um... where are they now?

A message for who?

I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. OH I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT IT'S SELBURG BUT ALSO HILBERT ISN'T IT AND HE TOTALLY MURDERED LOVELACE OH HE IS SO GETTING TOSSED OUT THE AIRLOCK NOW!

Oh I do not have time for one more episode...but... dang it I just saw the title. I have to know. First I'm gonna listen to Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks to pump myself up.

One moment please.

Episode 19: Let's Kill Hilbert

And...we're back! Now it's time to say goodbye to our crazy science friend. Adios Hilbert you will not be missed! 👋 First we toss you out the airlock, and then it's back to earth to finish off Mr. Cutter and company!

Does Hilbert know enough to justify keeping him on board? The real question is: will he share enough?

And listen to Hera. She might have things she's trying to tell you as best she can.

Hera...oh Hera has PTSD. Oh dear Hera.

Um... is she trying to kill them? In comedically obvious ways so that they notice? No wonder she needs Hilbert dead, what if he gave her bad code again? Or maybe she’s just experiencing trauma.

Mincowski! No! She's trying to save you! Please just throw Hilbert out the airlock, I listened to Dixie Chicks for this! I hyped myself up!

Did Hera just say "I'm dead?"

Hera. Hera are you trying to kill Doug? Doug, I trust Hera too, but I do not trust Hilbert! Okay...looks like we're good...

Never mind.

Eiffel. What is happening? Are you on laughing gas? Are you being drugged? Oh dear. Hera what did you do?

Wait. Why is HE losing air? Hera...were you trying to kill Hilbert?

Do machines dream electric sheep? Was that Hilbert? What happened to Hilbert? OH NO.

"You're going to unplug me anyway at least I can do this for the two of you" oh Hera 🥺

I love it. Save our moron!

And everyone's okay.

Doug knows Hera's there. Aw, he's making her feel better. And she's back! 🥰

Wait. What about Hilbert? What about interrogating him about being the other doctor guy? What about killing him? Man, what a bummer.

Oh well. we can always hope. Maybe next time he can finally die. Or at least give us some information.

Episode 20: The Paranoia Game

I really should not be listening to more, but I have an exam tomorrow, and nothing gets me motivated like good old procrastination. Besides, it's not like I had much of a chance on that thing anyway. Oh, I mean, um: Don't listen to me kids, studying is important. But you'll understand if you get to certain level of school at a certain age. You discover that some things that you thought were bad and confusing are actually much more bad and confusing than you could have ever imagined.

Anyway, let's get into it.

Oh good some info on Hilbert's past missions. Hilbert it is ABSOLUTELY relevant. You were experimenting on humans without their consent!

Lovelace was incinerated? Hilbert, for your sake, you better hope that's not true.

Who is listening to this?

Oh dear Hilbert is out of his cage. And YES the handcuffs are necessary. Hilbert has some nerve asking these questions.

"Why am I in cuffs. Seriously all I did was try to kill you. So dramatic🙄"

Irregularity in backup life support? What was that?

Screwdriver is missing. Huh. I wonder where it could have gone...check his pockets.

But then there is the empty man...and Blessie...

Shut up Hilbert. You had someone else help you get the screwdriver. The invisible empty man or someone else. Your promises mean NOTHING Hilbert.

✨ Nooooooooooooo... ✨

Oh you know who took it do you Hilbert? BLAMING THE ROBOT? She has a NAME Hilbert. And if she wanted you dead, she could do that in much worse ways than stealing the screw driver.

"Everything is always Hilbert's fault"

IT KIND OF IS HILBERT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO GET ON YOUR HIGH "I WOULD NEVER STEAL A SCREW DRIVER HORSE" YOU TRIED TO MURDER EVERYONE.

And do you REALLY think even IF Hera did this, that her whole plan is gonna go like this: "Well we were cool with Hilbert being on board earlier, but GASP! a stolen screwdriver? I can deal with multiple counts of attempted murder and unethical experimentation, but this is simply a bridge too far. TO THE AIRLOCK!"

Yeah. And also. How does she steal the screw driver?

Oh goodness. She is the brains you are...not brains.😂

Hilbert. YOU are the one involved in a conspiracy. You're seeing plots where there aren't any. I guess the old saying is true. The wicked run from no one.

"How do you like that" "I like it just fine"

...no comment.

Oh poor commander. I hope they didn't...

...oh they did.

Good heavens. Have you all forgotten about Blessie? Have you all forgotten about the empty man?

"Mistake Eiffel was going to make"..."Evil plan Hilbert was cooking up" PLEASE 😂😂😂

I love that these are the same voice actor. It makes in 20x funnier too.

The perfect crime? Do you know how crazy you sound?

Poor Mincowski. She needs to go back home and be with her husband. After all this she deserves it.

Hilbert. It involves Large powerful magnet. 😂😂🧲

Yes PLEASE put your clothes back on. Good heavens.

Ah yes. Those sounds. PLEASE question them.

What if we are not the only ones here? FINALLY. Hilbert, I don't like you but at least we're getting to...wait Hera I thought you did detect something moving about earlier.

WHAT IS GOING FOR THE TOOL BOX?

Tentacle with a flower? Of course, Percival B. Eternal, you silly goof!

But uh...why would it want a screw driver? EXACTLY! It is a bad thing! Why has no one been asking more questions about this?

Well hopefully we'll FINALLY get more of dear Blessie. Thank you for listening to my reactions my friends. I'm enjoying season 2, and hope to have more for you soon. Bye-bye.

#Bods Wolf359 Reactions #Wolf359 reactions #Wolf 359 reaction #wolf 359 reactions #wolf 359 #wolf359 #renee minkowski #doug eiffel #hera wolf 359

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psychicmisfortune · 11 months

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a bunch of portal 2 incorrect quotes (will be updated often)

Wheatley: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

GLaDOS: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Wheatley:

Wheatley: *sobs*

Chell: You fucking scared him,,,,

Chell: Breathe, just breathe.

Wheatley: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

GLaDOS: Awww, that never bothered you before.

Chell: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Wheatley's birthday invitations.

GLaDOS: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Chell: "Wheatley's birthday".

GLaDOS: So, what do they say instead?

Chell: "Wheatley’s bi".

GLaDOS:

GLaDOS: Works out either way.

GLaDOS, to Wheatley: You have room temperature IQ.

Wheatley: What's room temperature IQ?

Chell: 73°.

Wheatley: How much is that in IQ?

Chell: *looks at Wheatley*

Chell: Baby boy. Baby.

Chell: *looks at GLaDOS*

Chell: Evil.

(alternatively)

GLaDOS: *looks at Chell*

GLaDOS: Baby boy. Baby.

GLaDOS: *looks at Wheatley*

GLaDOS: Evil.

GLaDOS: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.

Chell: I like how this is a "fun" fact.

GLaDOS: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.

Chell, at GLaDOS's funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Chell, leaning over GLaDOS′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

GLaDOS: Yeah, no shit.

GLaDOS: Why do you hang out with me?

Chell: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

GLaDOS: …

GLaDOS: I feel a bit sorry for you.

GLaDOS: Where are your parents?

Chell: What are parents?

GLaDOS: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said. *laughs fucking manically*

Chell: Did it hurt when you fell-

Wheatley: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Chell: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Wheatley: ...

Chell: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Wheatley: Chell, do you love me?

Chell: ???Sure???

Wheatley: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

Chell: ??Probably...???

Wheatley: I mean something really, really—

Chell: Wheatley, what did you do?

Wheatley: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant.

GLaDOS: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

GLaDOS: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Wheatley: You mean you stabbed them?

GLaDOS: They ran into my knife.

#portal #portal 2 #incorrect quotes #glados #chell #glados portal #chell portal #wheatley #wheatley portal 2

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greenerteacups · 10 months

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have a few questions for u! i loved your latest chapter, i believe it’s my favourite one to date together with the yule ball special :)

01. since u’re writing a (very intense) re-write of book 1 to 7 canon, how happy/sad were you about draco’s arc in the books and films? it always bugged me that him and the slytherins didn’t get to shine that much in both aspects, and that’s why we never really got to appreciate them a lot when the books and films came out. would love to hear your take on this!

02. not sure if this has been asked before, but what thing/s inspired you to write lionheart? i recall reading it was because of your love for to all the young dudes, but i’d love to hear you talk about this more

03. if j* r****** weren’t as awful a person as she was (and so terribly closed minded too) do you think there would have been a way for draco and hermione to be together in canon, or at least be some level of friends, if not together romantically?

04. i’m a narcissa black-malfoy apologist and stan, and can i just say, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for writing her in such a beautiful and heartbreaking way. i cannot wait to see how you write her arc in books 5-7.

05. an absolute, absolute shot in the dark - but since friday’s last update was sort of a cliff hanger - would you be open to a double update or an earlier than usual update this week? we aren’t entitled to anything but i swear to you, i was biting my nails and at the edge of my seat fr the minute i ran to the friday update. draco and sirius’s conversation was too real and too beautiful i sobbed so much.

i love you!!! may the universe bless you with all the good karma (is my boyfriend, is a god, is the breeze in my hair on the weekend)!!!

hello! thank you for all the questions, wow!! will probably answer some in separate posts because tumblr usually censors my craft glitches out when i write long asks BUT

how happy/sad were you about draco’s arc in the books and films?

[looks at 400,000 words of AU fic about draco's arc] oh yeah i feel normal and care a regular amount about it

Man, it makes me sad. It makes me sad that almost all the Death Eaters are also children of Death Eaters, establishing this as a familial cycle of violence and hatred, and that's just... left to sit there in the narrative, implicating.

Draco’s arc in particular is a flat downward descent from schoolyard bully into a fascist death cult, and it’s bleak as fuck. like, if these books are written from Draco’s POV, it is some gruesome and deeply cynical stuff, guaranteed. which is a shame, because I think “reluctant and begrudging reformed villain” is an amazing character type that he could have fulfilled perfectly. doesn’t even have to go on tour with the Golden Trio, either; because I lost hope for Redemption Arc after the end of book 6, my ideal world going into book 7 was just having Draco stuck in Grimmauld Place, being bitchy and ill-tempered about the Order’s witness-protection equivalent, while the others treat him like a house-elf. “oh, yeah, that’s Draco, he used to bully us but now he has to ask us to buy the tea he likes at the grocer’s,” etc. I mean, full redemption would have been great, and by far the most rewarding for him/me personally as a reader, but I kind of figured by the end of HBP that it wasn’t in the cards. JKR writes characters in a particular way when she’s interested in them as people, and Draco was just never written with that level of attention or care.

he’s not even given a particularly rewarding antagonist arc. he doesn’t follow through and kill Dumbledore, thus giving him something irrevocable and life-scarring to repent for; but neither does he join the Order (e.g., Disappearance), meaning his ultimate contribution to the war effort is just this listless, choiceless trend of enabling. he’s forced into the plot with the Vanishing Cabinet, but can't kill Dumbledore; he tries to hide Harry’s identity from Bellatrix in Book 7, but it doesn’t work; he tries to catch Harry in the Room of Requirement and fails, then has to be saved by Harry from fiendfyre his own incompetent sidekick conjured. cringe failson. it’s also hilarious put in contrast with this fanon we have of hypercompetent draco — it’s like we all saw him and were like god bless can we please get this man a skillset. jesus christ he is getting killed out here.

but anyway tbh I think the most character development we see from him in all 7 novels is when Hermione slaps the shit out of him in POA (call that spell of Shutting the Fuck Up the way he doesn't even try to retaliate). The bathroom scene in book 6 is huge, because it’s the first time we get a modicum of sympathy for him, but that’s not followed up on — we just sort of leave him with “yeah, that’s tough.” we don’t even know why the Malfoys go back to Voldemort, because by all accounts, they seem miserable. Lucius seems miserable even before he hits his Flop Era in book 6-7, but he’s also broadly miserable all the time when we see him (likely bc we only see him when he’s plotting/scheming/exploding in rage when Harry manages to yet again Scooby Doo one of his plots, but who knows). I think the seventh book subtly implies the Malfoys are so close with Voldemort because of Bellatrix, and [spoilers incoming] I myself lean heavily on that thread in later sequences in Lionheart, but in the books it’s up to the reader as to how much the Malfoys really believe in the Dark Lord versus just comply with his orders from fear.

#greenteacup asks #draco malfoy #lionheart #thank you! i hope karma is a relaxing thought <3 #sweet like honey etc etc

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 1 year

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oh goodie, more teasers for Clementine Book Two

because if anyone is keeping one eye open at all times for Clementine Book Two news, it’s me... and probably only me, let’s be honest.

We have a look at four new pages, except they’re not full pages, they’re more like chunks of pages here to show us something that makes us gasp and go, “oh no, Clementine! That’s not good!”

Let’s talk about ‘em. It’ll be quick, there isn’t too much to talk about, but it’s worth updating y’all on.

Wow... much exciting. I’m sure those hands are meant to be Clementine and Ricca’s, and they’re touching... anyone who has been a follower of my blog for a long time now and knows anything about TWDG knows that it’s all about the *hands*....that’s how you can tell they’re in love.

Except they’re not really holding hands yet. I guess they’re not quite ready for love yet. I see Tillie’s really taking the slow burn route then.

Yeah, the big “oh no” is that Clementine has a fever, and as we’ll see in the next page, it might have something to do with her leg. Remember how in Book One Rabby was lookin’ at her leg all, “Clementine, you have to wash your leg to avoid infection, infection bad, don’t get that.”

We didn’t see Clementine do much of that in Book One... which if she was doing it, that’s something you’d think would be shown to us, no? Kind of important?

Alright well, the cat’s still alive at least.

Also I’m assuming this is after they got away from the weirdos who grabbed Olivia in the previous teaser pages we got. Clementine’s got a fever and they’re covered in mud, shit, and blood...not great things to have on an infected leg, y’all.

Also, “We’ll eat fish.” .....insert AJ’s “I like fish!” line here.

Oh wait, you can’t, because AJ’s not here. Because he’s back at Ericson. Because Clementine left. I bet her leg wouldn’t be covered in mud if she had just stayed... just sayin’.

I really like that establishing shot with the moon and the clouds... I said this previously, but I think Tillie’s found a better footing with the art in this one. She’s always been great with shots like that, even in Book One, but also the characters look a little better, too. They’re still not my favorite design and I don’t think Clementine looks like Clementine, but I see improvement.

Anyway, what I take from this is they’re still traveling and Clementine’s not doing great.

Yeah, that’s all I really have to say. I said there wasn’t too much to talk about as the big takeaway from this teaser is that Clementine’s feverish and her leg might be infected, which isn’t great. I’m sure she’ll put through, though... unless Tillie’s pulling a power move and killing her off in the second book only to turn the third book into....I dunno, Clementine’s adventures as a walker? She dies and it’s revealed to be one big dream and she never actually left Ericson? This Clementine turned out to be a fake and the real Clementine shows up to take her out?

I guess we’ll have to wait to find out.

Do y’all have thoughts? Are you excited for Clementine Book Two? I doubt you are since most aren’t, but you never know.

Personally, I’m excited to be disappointed, but hopeful to be proven wrong. Either way, I win.

#twdg #twdg clementine #clementine book two #lemme know your thoughts #not me checking insta this morning and skipping out of bed to make this #i don't skip i swear #it was more like a long groan and crawling out like a cryptid to scurry here #because *this* is important sksksksks

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atopearth · 7 months

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Piofiore: Episodio 1926 Part 7 - Henri Lambert Route & Overall Review

Henri wearing glasses showing a gentle smile is so beautiful. I honestly wish for him to be happy so I'm looking forward to this route! Henri working as a translator is so nice! It's something I would love to do as well, so it makes me like him even more haha. Seeing them get to live peacefully is nice, and they're so silly but I can understand why they would think they shouldn't try to "change" their relationship but c'mon Henri!! No girl leaves her home and everyone she cares for, for a guy she doesn't love! The two of them holding hands and eating lunch together is cute~ I hope they get to live more openly without fear of being chased soon. The more excited Lili was to return home, the more obvious that the Phantom probably killed the children, but I still hoped that it wouldn't happen. They were such a happy little family. I know they need a reason to leave and face their problems, the Phantom and everything, but this is just so so cruel. I feel terrible for Liliana. I can't imagine how it must feel for her, she's the one who cared for the children the most and saw them the most, and she had to be the first to witness the bloodied house and see their bodies, I can't imagine the devastation. But I also feel bad for Henri knowing that their deaths were because of him.

Honestly, it's crazy to think that in the first game, I really felt nothing for Henri. But after seeing more of his story in 1926, his feelings and now seeing many more thoughts and emotions from him, I can't help but wish that Henri can be happy despite the things he has done. Otherwise, it's really sweet to see how happy the guys are to see her well. I always appreciate how kind Gil is in expressing how much he cares for Lili and how he's always willing to help her if she needs help. Even Yang's roundabout way of telling her he's happy to see her well was cute. I understand Henri's reasons for leaving Lili with the Falzone but I'm still hurt😭 He's too considerate for his own good, he doesn't care about himself enough. And I agree with Nicola, if I lived Henri's life where his family all died because of this Key Maiden thing and the Falzone, and then I was forced to live with distant relatives of the Falzone that hated me, yeah I don't think many people would not want revenge. Lmao at Lee being surprised at Yang saying he cares about needing to protect all the innocents dying in Burlone. You could feel Yang's sarcasm😂 Wow, Sebastiano actually killed every single former employee of the casino, all those poor people.. I actually really like how Lili isn't recklessly wanting to go look for Henri and instead just asked Orlok to give him a letter for her, I think that's very sweet since she understands everyone wants her to stay safe. I never knew I needed this, but a little Nicola and a little Henri playing together all the time back in the day is the cutest thing ever, I want to cry at the potential of how happy and sweet Henri's life could have been if he stayed at the Falzone manor with him. It just breaks my heart seeing them smile so happily.

I'm so glad Sister Sofia showed Lili the letters Henri sent to her. Lili always put Henri first and never sent any further letters back to Sister Sofia after the first one because she wanted to protect Henri and prevent any chances of people tracing his whereabouts, but Henri always put Lili first by constantly updating Sister Sofia of their lives and apologising for taking Lili away from her. He's such a thoughtful and silly guy😭 Dante, Nicola, Orlok and Sister Sofia planning a way to help Lili meet Henri without him running away was the sweetest thing ever. Everyone knows how hard she's been trying to fake being cheerful, so seeing them care so much for Lili is really heartwarming. I love how they all helped her meet Henri, and I'm so happy that he's realised how important it is for Lili to stay with him. Lmao when Nicola was making fun of how Sebastiano said Yang wasn't beautiful😂😂 It must have been difficult for Henri to go back to the Falzone manor, but I'm glad Giulia welcomed him so warmly and he can have some happy memories here. I'm glad Nicola helped Lili understand that she loves Henri, like lady, no one abandons their whole life for sympathy! It's so sad that Sebastiano dug up and stole Chloe's (Henri's sister) remains but Henri only thought about how it's good that Sebastiano is focused on him and not Lili. Honestly, I do enjoy how crazy Phantom is in this route. The fact that he killed beautiful women who looked like Chloe to gather parts of them to make the perfect Chloe is just so insane but very fascinatingly him.

I love how the guys encouraged Lili to give Henri a kiss to cheer him up lmao, but dang was she brave to actually do it! I felt so bad for Lili, Henri is really an idiot😭😭 I know he thinks nothing of himself and that's why he doesn't believe Lili could ever love someone like him, but that was sad. Nicola laughing at Henri for restraining himself was funny though, made me feel a bit better. I love seeing Henri interacting with all the guys, they're all so different and fun. Lmao at all the guys picking on Henri for having not done anything with Lili this whole time even though they eloped and lived together for so long. I died when Yang said he was a eunuch😂 I love how even Dante shyly joined in taunting Henri into doing the job of disqualifying Lili from being the Key Maiden haha. Henri is the best kind of partner for food outings! He'll notice when you can't decide between your options and just chooses both for you and he'll let you eat the best one while he eats the leftovers of the one you prefer least. Lili is so lucky🥹 I loved their date and I loved the confession. Henri expressing how much he loves her and how he thought he didn't deserve her but couldn't help but continue to want her was very sweet. Henri kissing Lili over and over again, and teasing her so gently was so nice to see, so happy for them🥹 Henri feeding her breakfast was the cutest thing ever! I didn't want to remember the pain of those poor children getting killed by someone as insane as Sebastiano, but it was also heartwarming to see Henri finally give Lili the handkerchief they sewed for both her and Henri.

Even though Sebastiano is a nut, I do recognise that his actions were probably the best way for him to force Henri to become the version of him that lived on hatred and vengeance again. And by doing all that, Sebastiano would be the focus of that hatred, so it would make him happy that Henri is so focused on him and constantly think about him. In his own twisted way, it must have made him so happy to see Henri think about him so much this whole route. It was obvious that by this point, there's no way Henri would still be super hung up over Chloe and her remains, but it was nice to see him actually say it to Sebastiano and make him die knowing that Henri will never be who he wanted him to be. It's sad that Chloe's remains will never be truly found since Sebastiano either hid it somewhere they can't find, destroyed it or locked it in that box that will explode if touched in the wrong way, but I think it's fine. The dead will remain dead and there is never any guarantee they are resting in peace as bones anyway. I loved the ending, it was so sweet seeing them smile so happily together freely in France continuing the peaceful life they had, the flower ring was beautiful! Honestly, definitely the best route and highlight of this game haha. The tragic ending was pretty cruel to have Henri go with her on such a happy date (that I enjoyed too!) and then have him end the night telling her she needs to sleep with someone and that he wouldn't recommend Yang and refuses to be the one even though she clearly expressed that she wants him. That ending was definitely much more devastating than I expected. I felt so terrible having to think of Dante's torture and Henri's mental breakdown. The only solace that could be found was that Gil died in a way that he would have liked and Orlok got to die with Rosberg, whereas everyone else was forced to die at the hands of things or people they hated the most and were forced to die with extreme regrets. But I guess I feel the worst for Lili because she will continue to live being imprisoned, shackled, raped and broken by the hollow shell of the man she loves and the crazy guy who will never let them go. Probably the most tragic ending in this game tbh and now I feel too down about this whole thing to go sleep lol! Lmao at the bad ending where Sebastiano uses a saw to cut Lili's head off, what a guy.

Overall, I kinda wish I did the tragic ending before the good ending because that shit was brutal LOL. Now my impression is that I finished this game with everyone dying haha! Anyway, it's all good, I'll live because even though it was a tough ending to swallow, I liked it because it truly was a tragic ending compared to some of the other ones. Basically, Henri's route was wonderful and exceeded expectations. I really didn't know what to think about him when I first started this route because I didn't like his route in the original game and felt it was too shallow in terms of story and just the whole running away with Henri thing. But dang did Henri's existence and personality change my mind not long after hahaha. Not only was the plot engaging with how Henri fended against Sebastiano along with getting to know a bit more of their history together and Sebastiano's obsession but the romance was so beautiful too. Innocent and filled with the desire to be together but feeling like it's better to not be together, but then in the end still choosing to be together, I love that shit hahahah. It was also really fun to see all the guys appear alot throughout the whole route because their interactions were just so fun and supportive! Sebastiano was also a much more compelling villain this time around and his insanity just went off the charts which I loved. I feel like the reason why I didn't like him in Alternativa is because Sebastiano's character was basically made for Henri, so without Henri, his character feels like "nothing" which is probably what he himself feels like too lol. Very satisfying in all aspects imo. I would totally read this route again.

Overall Review

All in all, I would give this game an 8/10 just for Henri's route itself haha, it was so good. Otherwise, I really enjoyed the romance in Nicola and Gil's routes. I will always be weak to Gil the gentleman haha. I would rate Nicola's route above Gil's just because Teo's struggles were nice to see and much more understandable compared to what he does in other routes, whereas I just wanted Gil's dad to disappear every time he appeared lol. Yang's route was nice and sweet but that wasn't what I signed up for with Yang, so even though it was nice, it felt kinda lacking. However, in terms of side character interactions, I probably loved the route the most just below Henri's because I actually really liked Rui and his story when it came to Yuan. I thought I would love Yuan more but I honestly fell for Rui instead haha. It's actually adorable how cute he was with the twins and how much of a good guy he was to admit his mistakes towards judging Lili and respecting her afterwards. I have to say though, I also like Lee much more in this game because his interactions with the twins in Alternativa was so fun haha. As usual, when it comes to Dante, even though I did enjoy the route much more this time around, I do think the story with Raul and the Falzone was pretty weak and bland, it doesn't help that other than being pretty, Raul is pretty much useless as a person with no personality lol. I also warmed up a bit more to the romance between Lili and Orlok but it's pretty outrageous that Orlok doesn't get any steamy scenes or just more romance focused CGs, but yeah as usual, Orlok isn't my type so I wasn't really into it anyway. So my favourite to least favourite route would be Henri, Nicola, Gilbert - Yang, Dante and then Orlok. Definitely recommend playing this game even if just for Henri's route tbh, it was so worth it haha. It's got pretty similar vibes to the original game and I'd say even though there are quite a few boring moments too, I still very much enjoyed it, 8/10.

#piofiore episodio 1926 #piofiore

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neocitybooty · 2 years

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I Choose You [M]

Genre: Smut, Office AU, Multiple Partners, Fluff, Angst, M/F

Pairing: Jaehyun x Johnny x Original Character

Warnings: Oral sex, Sub/Dom dynamics, bodily fluids, masturbation, vulgar language, choking, rough sex, multiple partners, unprotected sex

Word Count 2.5k

Summary: Carmella requested a transfer within her company and moved to the other side of the world. She soon realizes she bit off more than she can chew once she starts working at the home branch...

A/N: This update is full of smut. I think I'm entering my Johnny era next because what the hell? HE HAS ME SO FERAL. But um yeah I am struggling to stick to the original plot with him because I just want so much more for him ;__ ; his character is truly something else. But please enjoy this and hopefully it doesn’t make y’all too feral ;/

Chapter 3

Mela sat on her couch in silence. It had been a week since she revealed to Jaehyun that she was seeing someone new. Judging by the consistent silent treatment, Mela gathered that Jaehyun was not taking it well. But she really didn’t know what else to do, rather than continue to live her life. She didn’t feel as though she was at fault.

“He is treating me like I killed his pet or something.” She later spoke to her friend on Facetime.

“My goodness. Men are so dramatic. Has he at least been greeting you like usual?” Mela’s friend, Kay said through the screen.

“Greeting? I wish. He doesn’t even personally put the daily folder on my desk anymore. He sends Joo to do it!”

“Wow. Well, I mean it could be worse… He could’ve just fired you. I honestly don’t think he’s that mad. He just needs some time. After all, he did just lose his little kitten. Or whatever he calls you.” Kayla said stifling her laughter.

“Oh, he’s very sick. That’s the most family friendly thing he’s ever called me.” Mela said, putting a hand over her mouth.

“Family friendly?!”

“Yes, in comparison to cockslut!” Mela threw her head back in pure embarrassment.

“Wow y’all must’ve been having mind-blowing sex. A cockslut?! Have you taken a pregnancy test? There are certain things that men only say when they are fucking raw.” Kay chimed from the other end.

“I don’t think I’m pregnant because it’s been a few months and he- you know….he was also cumming in other places..” Mela trailed off.

“Girl, you swallowing his kids?!” Her friend stared at her with her mouth wide open. “No wonder he’s acting this way. This man is in love with you. You can’t just swallow his kids and then move on to someone else, Melz.”

“If he really loved me, he would’ve made me his girlfriend and made it clear to all those other women that he wasn’t a single man. But he didn’t.”

“I don’t know. I get the feeling you and him are endgame.”

“Here you go prophesizing again.”

“Prophecies sometimes come true.” Kay shrugged.

“Anyways..I wish I could chat longer but I invited Johnny over for a movie night,” Mela stood up and showed her friend her lace and satin get up. A cami and extremely short shorts.

“Ass cheeks hanging out and everything. You’re actually insane.” Kay raised an eyebrow while smirking and nodding her head.

“I’m horny.” Mela pouted.

“Call Jaehyun.” Kay shot back, this time her smile showing teeth.

“Bitch.” Mela stuck up her middle finger and then hung up as Kay started to laugh.

She was just barely filling up her bowl of ice cream when Mela heard her doorbell ring.

She walked over to the door and opened it with a huge scoop of ice cream still on her spoon.

“Looks like you were getting the party started without me.” Johnny said, stepping inside and pulling Mela into a warm embrace. “Are these pajamas? You didn’t mention anything about a sleepover.” He took a step back to analyze Mela’s set.

Johnny was wearing gray sweats and a white t-shirt, but Mela thought his outfit was perfect for the occasion.

“I think you look fine, plus you don’t have to sleep over if you aren’t prepared.” Mela assured Johnny.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter for me. I sleep naked.” He said, not breaking eye contact.

“Oh,” Mela said, unsure of what to say next.

“Would that be alright with you?” Johnny asked, stepping closer.

Feeling flustered, Mela was only able to let out a simple “Yeah! Of course.” And she stuck the spoon full of ice cream into her mouth and rushed back to the kitchen to continue filling up her bowl.

Johnny smiled as he watched her run off, her butt peeking from the bottom of her shorts. She was so interesting. Not only a week ago, they were making out in a dim room, but now she was acting shy over some minor piece of information.

“Do you want a bowl?” Mela called from the kitchen.

“Yes, please!” Johhny replied, as he took off his coat and shoes.

Her place was cozy. It was clean, very new, and extremely large. Johnny wondered how she was able to afford it on a secretary/assistant salary. The interior design looked as though it was straight out of a magazine. She had an eye for design. Johnny walked around the spacious living room, in awe.

“I’m assuming you like what I’ve done with the place.” Mela came back balancing two bowls full of vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips sprinkled on top.

Johnny turned to look at her and immediately smiled. “You are so cute.” He said, before walking over and grabbing both bowls from her hand.

They sat and Mela turned on the movie after they were settled.

Johnny finished his ice cream before Mela and pulled her onto his lap.

He hadn’t been paying much attention to the movie. It was just too hard to concentrate. Johnny knew he only agreed to this night because he wanted an excuse to see Mela. It sounded silly but she was so busy that he didn’t see her as often as he would’ve liked.

They had been seeing each other for about a month and she seemed to always be working. And if she wasn’t working, she was tired. They had gone on a few dates, but their time together seemed to always have a time limit. Mela worked hard and Johnny knew it wasn’t his place to complain.

He watched her as she sat, fixated on the screen. She slowly licked the ice cream as she relaxed into Johnny’s chest. Johnny closed his eyes as he took in Mela’s scent. He finally hugged her, and she quietly moaned, in satisfaction and as a response.

“This is…nice.” Mela sighed. With the way her last few months at the company played out, the feeling of relaxation had become foreign to her. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been like this with Jaehyun.

Jaehyun.

Why was she thinking about him?

Mela didn’t have much more time to think about it, as Johnny’s hand started to roam.

“I think I am going to be spending the night.” Johnny said, before kissing Mela on her temple.

“Hm?” Mela put her spoon back in her bowl and set it in on the table.

Johnny didn’t respond. Instead, he turned Mela’s face toward his own and gave her a gentle but reassuring kiss. He then followed with another kiss, powered by a little more force. Johnny, wanting nothing more than to feel the warmth from her lips, let the kiss linger a bit longer than usual before opening his eyes. Mela opened her eyes at the same time, and the synchronization transitioned into something electric between her and Johnny.

Next, they were kissing frantically as Johnny hurried to rid Mela of the minimal clothing she was wearing. He only took off her top, when he suddenly stood up, while still holding Mela and she naturally locked her legs around his waist.

“Which way to your room?” He asked in between kisses.

“Up the stairs, to the right, door at the end of hallway.” Mela responded, out of breath.

Johnny shook his head. “Too far. We’re fucking here- ”

He pressed his lips onto Mela’s once more and inserted his tongue when she moaned, immediately asserting dominance. Instead of sitting back on the couch, he held Mela against the wall, squeezing her ass as he felt wetness on his lower abs. He let her drop slightly so she could be aligned with his boner.

He pressed himself into her and she gasped and wrapped her arms around him tighter. “Please stop teasing. Fuck!”

Johnny only chuckled and continued, enjoying the sound of Mela’s ragged breathing. He walked over to the couch and laid her down gently. Once she was fully off his body, Johnny tugged the bottom of his shirt upwards and pulled it all the way over his head and off completely.

Mela mindlessly reached for his abs and ran her fingers down, feeling the hard ridges along the way. Johnny grabbed her hand to stop her before she reached his sweats.

“Not yet.” He shook his head and started to remove Mela’s shorts.

“No underwear? You planned for this to happen, you naughty girl.” Johnny smirked before reaching out and grabbing one of Mela’s breasts. “I’ve never been much of a titty guy but yours just look so delicious. Do you mind if I taste?” By the end of his sentence, Johnny was circling his lover’s nipple with his tongue as she bit her lip and nodded rapidly.

“I think you meant to shake your head, but I can’t blame you. I’m sure you’re having a hard time…. you know…. concentrating.” He said while his free hand reached into his sweats as he leaned back in and took Mela’s whole nipple into his mouth, once again.

Her back instantly arched as Johnny heard her gasp, her breathing becoming more intense as she tried to stifle a moan. Mela was caught off guard, waiting for Johnny to reveal his rock-hard cock from underneath his sweats. But it seemed he wasn’t going to pull it out anytime soon.

“Johnny..” Mela softly whimpered.

“I’m not done yet.” He said moving to the other breast. He then pulled his hand out of his sweats. Mela was hit with confusion because she felt his hand move when pulled it out, but she didn’t feel his hand anywhere on her body until….

“Oh my!” She cried out. Her legs began to shake as Johnny’s two fingers slide deeper into her warmth. Johnny simply ignored her and started to slowly pump his fingers in and out. He smirked to himself as Mela’s chest rose and dipped. Johnny was a pleaser and damn proud of it. He found joy in seeing his partners come undone under his touch. Having the upper hand whenever he pleased…If he could make her squirt just one time, he’d be satisfied. They had all night, and he was going to take advantage of the fact.

Johnny finally unlatched from Mela’s slightly swollen nipple and looked at them both, satisfied with his work. Maybe he was a titty guy, after all. Just maybe.

“Johnny, please.” Mela mustered out, finally floating back to reality.

“Please, what?” He asked, mocking concern.

“Johnny…”

“You must not want it bad enough, if you can’t even ask for it.”

“I do! I want you inside me. PLEASE!” Mela desperately tried to remove his sweatpants. Johnny intercepted and stopped her before she could succeed.

“I stand corrected. But I’m the one in control right now. Okay, princess?”

Mela gulped and nodded. She was finally able to concentrate long enough to take in his body in all its glory, not just his abs. His skin was smooth, with a healthy glow and his abs became more defined at each inhale. His eyes were glazed over and his lips looked chewed, as if they were given a lot of attention. He looked like a sculpture, overall.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Johnny took both her hands and held them above her head with one hand. He leaned in close to her ear and spoke.

“I’m going to finally give you what you want. But your hands need to stay up here.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and lifted himself back up until he was standing. He then pulled his sweats down, along with his boxers, and stepped out of them both.

“Oh.” Mela said as his cock springed out and slightly bounced. It was much larger than she expected. And yet, she was still eager to go on. More wetness immediately emerged from her as she tried her best to not let the feeling overcome her. She spotted two veins protruding on each side of his member and reached out, but Johnny stopped her.

“What did I just tell you?” He placed her hand back above her head and warned, “Next time, I won’t be so nice.”

He then positioned himself back in between Mela’s thighs and pushed her thighs forward so her knees were slightly touching her shoulders. He dragged his throbbing cock along her slippery folds as she started to squirm.

“Such a pretty and inviting pussy you have.” His eyes fluttered shut and he bit his bottom lip and with a groan, he pushed himself into Mela’s opening.

“OH my God!” Mela grabbed onto the end of the couch, to try to take away from the searing feeling of being torn open. This only motivated Johnny. He placed a hand on each side of the younger woman’s head and started to thrust. Hard. If he couldn’t make her squirt with his fingers, he would make sure his dick made it happen. He watched Mela as Mela’s lips formed an “O” and more of her fluids continued to coat Johnny’s eager cock. Her welcoming heat, paired with the friction was causing the familiar sensation in his dick. He was close, but not before…

He reached for where his body met with Mela’s and found her clit. Mela cried out as soon as he started rubbing her sensitive bud. He could tell by her sudden breath intake that this ending was going to be very messy. His eyes wandered to the bulge that appeared in her lower belly with each thrust and he just watched while in a daze. He was momentarily distracted from his nearing explosion but broke out of his trance with Mela screaming.

“Johnny, baby please!” She started gyrated uncontrollably as a string of inaudible words came out of her mouth. Soon after, Johnny saw a fountain of liquid spraying from her as she left his dick completely, soiling the couch and hitting Johnny’s abs.

“Shit.” He looked Mela, chest heaving and legs shaking. “Are you okay if I finish?” He asked, his question laced with concern.

Mela looked at him, through half closed eyes and nodded. He then slowly slipped back in with a low growl. He immediately sped up, frantically chasing his release. His heart racing as the sound of his balls hitting Mela’s skin filled his ears. This time around, Mela wrapped her arms around Johnny’s neck as he dipped for a kiss. It was urgent, needy, and passionate. She moaned into her mouth as he went in deeper. The familiar sensation had returned.

Mela felt Johnny twitch while inside of her and he suddenly broke the kiss and groaned. “Fuck!” Mela felt her insides being sprayed with his warm cum before he collapsed next to her.

All Mela could think about was how her new couch had been ruined. She turned to look at Johnny and he seemed to have already fallen asleep. She mustered up enough energy to grab a blanket from the wooden basket near the couch. She covered them both and laid next to Johnny, ignoring the wet spot she had created earlier.

She had to arrange for a new one, first thing in the morning.

Johnny wrapped his arms around Mela’s waist as he made a noise of approval, still asleep.

She saw Johnny’s phone light up as he received what seemed to be a long string of text messages, but her eyes shut, and she fell asleep before she could question it any further.

Chapter 1 Chapter 4

#Johnny Suh #Jeong Jaehyun #nct 127 #nct #nct smut #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #kpop fan fiction #nct 127 smut #Jaehyun #Johnny

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winderlylandchime · 6 months

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Hello, how are you? Hope you’re doing well and that your weekend is/was great. I am here to let you all know that qaf has officially ruined our entire family. While I have been keeping my cousins, my aunt and occasionally my uncle and parents updated on how my brother is watching the show and it’s been keeping us entertained (some of us more than the others). It has finally come to the point where my mom sent me a looooong text message, asking me to take him out since he can leave the house now so that he can (and i quote) ‘get away from the tv gays ruining his life because he needs to be around real people since the world doesn’t revolve around this show’ Basically she asked me to force him to touch some grass. So I did. I asked my neighbor to come with us and we went out to a bar that was having like a throwback night or something (we went bc the songs were old and good) and we hung out and he actually behaved like a functional adult. He even left his Team Brian shirt at home and was talking about random shit and not once did he mention qaf. He was only upset on the car ride there like a little kid but he quickly recovered. And then of course it had to happen, because why wouldn’t it? We were sitting at our table (and i wanna say they have a dj but it was more just a dude with a computer and a playlist and he was killing it) and we were talking and laughing and then as my brother is talking, he just kinda starts almost like glitching, like half talking but he’s clearly distracted and he’s looking off into the distance and my neighbor asks him if he’s okay and he lifts his finger up to shush us and then he goes ‘it’s the song..listen..’ and we’re listening to it and neither of us recognize it so i ask him what song is it? And he goes ‘its the song from prom’ and my neighbor is trying to mess with him so she looks at him and goes ‘Wow cant believe you remember your prom’ and this dude looks at her all annoyed and goes ‘no, not my prom, it’s the song from Justin’s prom’ HE SAID THAT AS IF ITS HIS KID HES TALKING ABOUT. Like Justin is a person that is present in all of our lives and she’s an idiot for not knowing this simple fact. And now I’m confused because i don’t recognize the song! So I’m like ‘no, youre wrong, that song is save the last dance’. And this fucker goes ‘nooooo, this us the song that played when Brian walks in. Before they dance.’ Guys, it was Faded by SoulDecision. I checked when we got home, the song played for just enough seconds for shazam to pick it up. Probably less than 20 seconds. I mean he did watch the episode few days ago and he has the song on his playlist BUT the bar was LOUD AS FUCK with people. We weren’t sitting anywhere near the speaker so it even took me a second to hear the beat/melody of the song and this moron heard it from a distance and recognized it because Brian fucking Kinney walked into a scene while the song was playing. I feel like i am being beaten at my own game.

I am surprised that afterwards he didn’t do anything dumb or embarrassing ngl. But that alone made me realize that he is a lost cause forever now. I’m kinda proud ngl. But yeah, this weekend he was literally forced to touch grass, so to speak and even then qaf found a way into his life.

Your mom said he needs to touch grass. Oh my god. (The world doesn’t revolve around this show? News to me!)

And then they played the random song from prom at the bar. The universe is sending your brother a message! I’m dyinggggg. I remember one of the first fics I ever read in qaf, which was written before shazam, where the author could not figure out what that damn song was. And your brother is recognizing it in a busy bar.

He may not know it yet, but he’s a tumblrina!

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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shiny-jr · 2 years

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wait omg please

will you please feed me with literally anything relating to Naiche

like even basic headcannons or a small drabble about a day with him

i love him so much oh my god

Warning: Yandere thing (like none, really). Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Naiche.

Note: My reaction to this ask. Sorry it took so long to reply, but I finally found the time. And wow, was it a shock to hear about that character again. Naiche was like, one of my first proper yandere ocs. Just to put into perspective how old this story is to me, I published it in 2018. I was still in middle school when I was writing and updating it. I'm in college now. However, since it's a story I'm not particularly proud of despite being one of my most popular ones, I tend to forget about it. Oh, and if anyone's wondering why I'm writing this instead of stuff for the 3,000 follower special, I stopped for now. It was way too much, and I was getting bored and overwhelmed. Maybe I can accept similar requests next time or something, but for now I want to clear out requests before taking anything else. Anyways, I was sitting here wondering what I should write for this. I even had to go back and reread a few lines just to get a grasp on his character (so sorry if I portray him differently, it's been so long). But then I thought, you know who he reminds me of? San, from Princess Mononoke. Isn't that a comparison? I once wrote a god!Naiche thing for a friend, so I figured I'll make this like another little AU.

What happened...?

Your vision was blurry, and there was a horrible throbbing pain in the back of your skull. Your back ached from sleeping on what felt like a mat on the uneven stone floor of a cave, it felt like all your limbs were sore. It was quiet, with only the sound of birds chirping in the dawn's light, accompanied by your quiet breaths. However, upon focusing on the sounds, you recognized something or someone else breathing. Your head snapped to the right where the sleeping figure was.

Crimson red hair, warm eyes like the colors of flames, a sharpened spear in his loose hold. It was the prince of the forest, Naiche. There were rumors about him, but only the nasty kind. He was a terrifying and vicious man that attacked humans alongside three black wolves. Ah, right, you had saved him from being killed in Captain Faust's settlement. And in thanks, you were attacked by the red-haired man as soon as he became conscious again. But, by some good luck, he must've remembered your effort to prevent his death so he carried you to a spring where the Deer God healed your fatal wounds.

Now, here you were, most likely in the den where he and his wolf kin lived. The wolves were nowhere to be seen, so you were able to feel slightly more relaxed. Not much though, considering the man next to you had nearly killed you. Sitting up slowly, you stretched your tired limbs, but your heart nearly stopped when you saw Naiche beside you, this time with his eyes open.

The man watched you silently, frowning all the while. It was clear you were still a threat in his mind, evident by how tightly he was gripping the spear that lay beside him. He didn't stir or make an effort to get up, not quite yet.

You were unsure how to proceed. You knew he understood you, because of the rather brash and quick interaction you had after saving him. He used his voice to clearly express his intent to end your life. And he likely would have, if you hadn't had saved him from Faust. "Thank you... for, uh... helping heal me."

"I didn't heal you. The Deer God did." He replied curtly. Yeah, if his tone was anything to go by, he was not happy. "If I were the Deer God, I would've let your blood paint the spring red and your lifeless corpse be the dirt from which nature grows."

Wow, talk about dark. "Then why didn't you leave me to die after we left the town? Why didn't you feed me to your wolf friends?"

At that, he seemed offended. Naiche stood up and replied quickly, "They do not eat filth that will taint their system." Rude.

"You didn't answer my first question."

His frown increased as he scoffed, "Why didn't you allow your disgusting human friends the pleasure of killing me?"

Avoiding a question with a question... "That's... complicated. It seems horrible to just stand to the side and let them tear apart a person. Besides, I needed to see the Deer God to heal my curse, and they say you're one with nature."

Seemingly unsatisfied with the response, he scrunched up his nose and spat, "Selfish."

"It's selfish to want to be cured and survive...?"

With no response readily available, and not wishing to continue the conversation any longer, Naiche picked up his spear and began walking out of the cave. "You're awake, now beat it."

Well, isn't he just charming...

#yandere guy #yandere writing #yandere #my oc #my stuff #a soldier's daughter

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thedelolos · 1 year

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Neverafter Episode 5 Live Thoughts

Under the cut

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE GEMS ARE YOU SILLY MAN

“The mechanic of confusion” you said it ally

Ooo we got updated icons for the characters that we didn’t see last episode

Lou Wilson I love you never change

BEATS TO STUDY TO im cryig

Seriously the new dome effects are cool as hell

So this is “You and your party walk into a tavern” opening?

I can’t take the cock and toad seriously bro

“A bunch of woodland creatures in a cloak” ah yes three racoons in a trenchcoat

Rosamund’s hair is so curly wow

I really want to know her subclass PLEASE i’m thinking it might be beast now because of the cloak of beasts?

YLFA DRUID

YLFA DRUID???

I AM IN LOVE WHAT SUBCLASS

I’m thinking moon or wildfire?

The fire on her cloak in her dream makes me think wildfire Also they have another person who can heal thank goodness

The owl getting scared is really funny

The disappearing glass jar

So pib

Okay yeah red blowing the fire hotter makes me think wildfire, that’s actually a really cool way of skinning it

“Why does everyone think I’m flirting?” Gerard got that autistic boy swag

Lou you're killing me with that description of pinocchio

YES PLEASE TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR MOM

She’s awful and i hate her

“How did we know to come here?” Zac asking the big brain questions

Calling it now the bad fairy that pinocchio is talking about is the step mother

Psa do not trust the fairies at all

Do you think brennan practices crow noises just randomly?

Zac’s little dance when PIb is getting scritches is so cute

I KNEW IT WAS THE DISH FROM HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE

Ally and Lou playing keep away with the invisible book is so funny

Committed arachnid i’m dead these are so funny

THE SPIDER TALKS

Wait does this mean we’re gonna get miss muffit too??

“Honking like thunder”?? Hmmm the gander??

It’s really funny bc i just finished crown of candy where we had ranger liam and now we have ranger rosamund and it’s just really funny to me

Rangers really are the best in campaigns like this

Wait does that mean that we don’t get anymore cindy??

Oh okay nvm

Ooo this is very interesting, there’s someone writing in the book

WAIT THIS IS DOPE SCHEHERAZADE

So does this mean that the other owners of the magic books are just people who have collected tales in different cultures?

WOMEN IN ARMOR AGENDA LET’S GO

Aesop too?? So it think there might be some kind of truth to my theory my game theory

Yes babes pls make a better plan

Stray together, stay together

“Im just kinda pushing on your frog abdomen” ALLY

Okay okay so we need to find a laughing dog and a cat with a fiddle

The goodberry thing is so smart, i’ve never thought of that before

Senator i miss you

Senator i love you keep prancing

“This is all temporary” okay take a shot he said the thing

No no con saves only vibes

WHAT ARE THE BEANS are they like levels of exhaustion that you carry through your lives?? If you hit 6 levels typically you die so maybe at 6 beans the character is perma dead?

Is the boar one of the 3 little pigs??

I like geese and the gander is terrifying

Okay okay they got a good stealth let’s just hope that they learn from last time and dont get caught, please y’all be safe

YO THE DARK LIGHTING THAT’S SO COOL

WE 110 percent are getting the spider that sat next to miss muffet, “nobody wants to be friends with me”, the town name sounds similar to tuffet, i think i’m right???

#neverafter #neverafter spoilers #d20 neverafter #d20 spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 neverafter spoilers

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dorothydalmati1 · 7 months

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Obscure Animation Subject #79: Xavier: Renegade Angel

Originally scheduled to post on Twitter a week ago, alongside the upcoming others I announced, but delayed them and moved all subjects here due to horrific TOS update. Also it was announced recently that Elon was going to add fees to EVERY SINGLE USER ON THE PLATFORM! Yeah no joke, this is already making leave the site FOR REAL THIS TIME! I was debating to leave Twitter because of the 101DS fandom, but then Musk makes yet another change to kill the whole website! Wow!

Anyways Xavier: Renegade Angel, this is shit! Actually intended to be shit, like this show is so dumb it’s hilarious! It’s smart at being dumb. What I mean by this is how they subvert our expectations on how jokes are going to play and stories themselves. This show fools us into thinking something on screen is going to be important only for it not to be… or is it? See, this show can twist brains when watching, everything is going at a rapid pace and there’s so many jokes and details per minute, this show may require some rewatches just to fully grasp what is going on. I’ve seen a lot of surreal yet intelligent shows such as 12 oz mouse, and this show reminds me of that, except obviously without the heavy focus on an arc.

This is a one of a kind show that should be seen to be believed. It’s crazy and a piece of crap, but in a good way! It’s 2000s Adult Swim after all, as it ran from 2007 to 2009.

Also in two episodes, the PFFR got more crazy so… LOL!

#obscure animation #Xavier: Renegade Angel #adult swim

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thegeminisage · 1 month

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IT'S time for. a star trek update. last night we watched ds9's "duet" and tng's "timescape," both of which blew my tits clean off

duet (ds9):

i dont know why every single one of kira's episodes go SO fucking hard but i am ALL about it. like we're getting so many good kira episodes that grapple with the history of cardassian occupation i'm shocked no one cried "overkill." she's a really good actress, and she always channels that rage/grief mixture SO well, and the guy she had to work alongside this episode was also very good, it had my jaw on the ground the entire time

trying to figure out the twist to this one was so fun and it was paced perfectly - again, i got to it right before the reveal, which is the most satisfying experience for me because i get to feel smart and not like the writers are treating me like i'm stupid but also like the episode is followable

i LOVE that as always sisko has my girl's back. in-universe, as a member of starfleet and the federation, he's in a position of massive power and privilege over her, but he always leverages it to help her out as much as he possibly can

also, i liked that odo brought her a drink when she was upset. like, i felt a genuine madness pass through my brain. i know odo/kira is canon later and while i do TRULY love whatever odo has going on with quark (we've been missing that lately...) i think i'm gonna Really Really Really Love what he's gonna have going on with kira.

my one minor nitpick with this episode is the false idea that if this guy WAS just a file clerk then he isn't still a war criminal. i'm sorry, but if you're filing papers for war criminals, there are only two scenarios: you were coerced/drafted, or you weren't. and if you weren't coerced/drafted, you're complicit. shit, you COULD be coerced/drafted and still be complicit, depending, but at least that actually IS the gray area this episode wanted "file clerk" to be.

that said, the final scene was so well-acted i can totally give them a pass. that guy ready not only to give up his entire life but be executed in public by people who hate him for something he technically didn't do JUST BECAUSE he felt complicit - when kira herself, vengeance personified, felt that he WASN'T complicit - mwah. that is such a complex mash-up of ideas and attitudes and it was so raw and honest. i just wish they had thrown in a "yeah he was drafted" in there for me specifically, then it would have been perfect

THE ENDING. i just wouldn't have felt right if he had just gone back home and everything had been fine. like he HAD to get stabbed because he WAS complicit. it's such a good fucking way to show that the effects of the occupation last and last and last and LAST. "innocent" cardassians don't get to get away from it because innocent bajorans couldn't and the cycle goes on and and on and on, the way it perpetuates itself in kira every day, except maybe this time she sees this guy die and it moves her an inch closer to be able to breaking it. wow. goddamn.

timescape (tng):

I LOVED THIS EPISODE.............the front half of s6 was so rancid but the last handful have mostly been really really good. this one was so cool because the first time picard froze i genuinely, for a split second, thot my stream froze. all the special effects/scifi elements were brilliant - picard's long nails, the rotting fruit, the disrupter killing beverly, the time cuts, the frozen crew

IT WAS SPOOKY! i actually screamed out loud when one of those romulans who wasn't supposed to be moving jumped geordi. i was like "oh no oh no that guy is LOOKING at him look at his eyes" and then almost as i finished the sentence and i jumped. SORRYYYY if i find that the scariest possible thing it's not my fault they made me watch chucky when i was 5. i do remember another frozen romulan ship episode where the same thing happened and ALSO scared me

it was nice to have the gang back together also. watching them share dinner and yammer on about their little field trip was really cute. even picard didn't annoy me until a bit later in the episode. (like, he showed NO emotion when he heard about beverly. i could understand him putting on a stuiff upper lip and going no no i don't have time to go and see her when i can't do anything but he DIDN'T EVEN MAKE A FACIAL EXPRESSION! come on man.......show us u care. also, why wouldnt he take those romulans guns but still feel okay moving worf's hand? either fuck with the time frame or don't, dude.)

data being worried about geordi bc geordi is his bestie :( <3

RIKER FEEDING THE CAT! i'm so sad we didn't get to see the cat but it was really funny he's afraid of the cat now. ALSO, whatever riker and beverly have going on when he goes to sickbay. girl leave picard. riker could do so much better and HE wouldn't knock you up with an affair baby

the fact that there are biological organism in the romulans warp core is bonkers. every time i learn something about the romulans it gets weirder and weirder. why would you blow THEIR planet up. it should have been the klingons. it would have played into worf's whole deal AND then they would have been in the 2009 movies more. and we could learn more about the romulans, who are fucking crazy apparently

TONIGHT: ds9's "in the hands of the prophets" and tng's "descent," and i have been BANNED from reading the summary of the latter because apparently it looks Just That Promising. it's finale time babey

#personal #star trek blogging #ds9 lb #tng lb #after we finish ds9's first season i can do an official liz character ranking.

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quinntamsin · 1 year

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She'd only seen the Gates perhaps once in her life before this. They reached far into the sky and were blanketed in clouds. She rested aboard her captain's ship, a feeling of languor threatening to overtake her. Eying the tall woman who claimed command of the Spiteful Harlot she sat up. A den den mushi in her hands was spouting some nonsense she could barely make out. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHITEBEARD IS DEAD?!" and at those words Qwynn froze. Edward Newgate, the strongest human in the entire damn world was dead. How? The zoan user instantly shifted into her leopard form and leaped from her place sleeping on the prow of the boat. --- SPOILER WARNING! CONTENT WARNING: Mass character death, brutality and abuse. *The droning voice of Sengoku in the background.* We finally reach the penultimate Arc of the Summit War Saga. This arc was hands down one of the most painful to watch. Not because it was dragging at times, and oh did it drag. But because we all learned that this big rescue mission was nothing but tragedy. I knew what was going to happen, I spoiled One Piece all the time for myself. Hate me if you want, but I like staying updated on the Manga as my mental illness. That being said I watch the show in spurts between work and commitments to my patreon work. So, wow, lets do this, I'm not breaking this one down to bits of the arc. This is going to be a pure bad good and ugly. I want to do it this way because this was the hardest hitting Arc I've seen since Enies Lobby. The Ugly One thing about Shounen ANime is they really like to drag out fights with a lot of twists and what not. I say this as someone who grew up on shows like Yu-Gi-Oh and OG Dragonball Z. This story was great, it added a lot of nice twists and bits but there were a few low points for me. It doesn't dragon on a Naruto Level. I can't put my finger on it, but a lot of ways I really didn't think it should have taken Luffy more than five episodes to get out of the exit ring. This part of the battle is perhaps the most where I got frustrated watching. It really started as the push for the harbor was about midway through. The story where we finally get Squard's stab into Newgate. Watching him do so, learning more about the backstory of Ace and much more was heartening. But there are a few episodes that break down to pretty much "Keep going get going" and then only a little bit of progress is made. This entire Arc is about a losing war, and yet, damn it ground hard into me. And this is the only critique in this regard I can think of! So I was going to do a bad, but fuck it, I already did that. The Good I simp for this show. It calls me like the Jezabelle she is! Now lets talk about what this Arc did so damn well, it made me fucking cry. We already know Oda is kind of against killing people off. He let Crocodile live for FFS. There are even points where it was obvious that people like Moria should have been dead, but nope they are still alive. Hell, its also been revealed that perhaps a certain giant is still alive! Spoilers aside, this entire thing is pretty fucking filled with despair. An entire story about the despair created by the fucking World Government. Yeah, lets not ignore that the world of One Piece is rand by a genocidal government okay with wiping out entire nations and islands for convenience. So watching them murder not only a bunch of pirates, but lying to get them to betray each other makes sense. Sure, we can easily view the Marines as good guys if we already didn't know better. What we see really is a group of people trying to save on eo fhteir own. Attempting to use overwhelming odds but all they ace is three fucking tyrannical gods, and their pragmatic Commander. The Whitebeard Pirate Alliance fall in droves as they are cut down by the Warlords and the Admirals. The Vice Admirals join the fray and as Little Oars dies to save his friends they use his fucking body to climb over. This is some seriously dark shit. All the while we watch as Ace is reminded of how his entire life all he's good at is getting other killed. DAMN ODA! Squard's betrayal in of itself was another great ploy by Sakazu aka Akainu, a truly tyrannical figure. This shows that the Marines as the sword arm of the World Nobles is not above fomenting mutiny. Yeah, it's a good strategy, and honestly it just reminds us that these are not good people. They have NO scruples. Whitebeards death was just so damn disquieting. He just stood there as he finally lost his strength. Then to have his devil fruit powers stolen by that bastard Teach made it even worse. Teach truly is a fucking near Xanatos level villain. This guy has played Newgate SINCE he joined and sacrificed former friends to get what he wanted. All of this culminates into the final death of Ace, and damn, I knew it was coming. I knew it was going to make me cry, yet by the Nine it tore into me. ACE and Luffy are members of ASL, and three kids who grew up in a world that despised them. It it weren't for Crocodile (yes I follow the Croco-mom theory) hadn't saved his boy Luffy would be dead. Gay Canon I will say that this entire episode is laden with fucking masc characters so I can't spin a a lesbian scene here. Honestly, I would headcanon Luffy as a trans masc and Ace as his adopted brother still. Spin up Hancock as his love interest and there we go. TBH with how tall Hancock is I'm reminded of T4T couple memes I see now and then. Now, let's talk about adopted dads. Newgate actually TREATS his suborinates as his kids and grandkids. He treats them well and defends them with all his might. This can easily be seen with cultish as we're talking about a macho-man figure who gets everyone to call him pops. But easily there is nothing in that manner. Honestly in this story I see Marco's desperation here to save Ace as a man trying to save his husband. Marco and Ace FIT as a couple and I really do like that as an angle. For sapphic ships we are still kind of at a loss. The only Warlord Present who can remotely being seen as mingender or "as a womxn" is Hancock. Everyone other major character minus perhaps two vice admirals are androgender spectrum. Now, a rare fic story featuring Hancock and Hina maybe? I mean, there's not a lot of optinos from this storyline! Though, I think a story with Vivi and Hina would also be another good option for an aftermath rare pair set up. Conclusion Wow, yeah, this was a post long time coming and to be honest I've been in a fairly deep funk overwhelmed by real life. Heh, anyways, lets sit back and discuss some final thoughts. The Marineford Arc is a solid conclusion to the Summit War Arc. I really dislike the dub translation of "War of the Best" but whatever. I watch the dub because I get distracted and write and I can't always be reading subtitles. (I use to be a purist, but fucking ADHD and other issues messed it up). Back to the story, this epic battle specifically brought us what we wanted. The despair felt by pirates and the rebels against the might of the Marines. Without the Gura Gura no Mi, the battle would have been harder for everyone. YES, the Division Commanders are powerful. But we are talking about the fucking Warlords of the Sea. One of which is a total meglomaniac who is powerful enough to spider sling across clouds for fun. Aokiji bikes across water because he's so precise with his power. This was a last hurrah for the legends of Whitebeardss Era. Sure Kaido and Big Mom were his mates, but the old man truly was one of the Greats. What we see here is a foolish attempt by the WG to quash the Supernovas. To kick them while they are down and prevent the rise of another Pirate King. Someone capable of challenging the false gods of the Celestial Dragons and put Im on the backfoot. This wasn't going to happen, but what I witnessed was the not just a last ditch effort to save on of their own. I watched a generation's hope of freedom get crushed as villains like Teach, Kaido and Big Mom existed off in the distance. I mean Teach stole a fucking fruit and now has shit that is just plot plate armor level crazy. But yeah, as we go into the New World I'm itching for watching a few Admirals getting a beat down. Hottakes:

Holy fucking shit Marineford is a ridiculous space. I keep forgetting how big Marine ships are as well. Those things Dwarf most of the ships from any of the early arcs.

Are paddle wheel boats a standard? I'v seen three so far, the Kuja Pirate's ship, the one Momonga had and Whitebeard's ace in the hole.

Whitebeard is an interesting figure, I think he should have jumped in. Oars death felt so needless, it just shows that people loved Ace. And this was a means to "punish" him for just existing.

I really just hate Akainu, he's such an asshole.

Aokiji is beyond OP, he's a devil fruit user but he can free sea water. That's a ridiculous cold point to achieve plus averting a common devil fruit weakness.

Well fuck Blackeard for being able to steal fuck powers.

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