poetry because i'm stupid (it's all one poem just a lotta stanzas)
the common sanity of crabs climbing over each other to get out of a boiling pot (do you see why i love you?)
~
your face keeps sending me for a loop
because i can't tell if i like it
your ego? fine. your interests? great!
but i want to know if i can fight it
is that a bad ask? is that a bad tell?
i feel like i'm doing abnormally well
and if you tell me i look like i cried a bit ago
i'm going to punch you until your brain swells
take a phineas gage, bitch! why do i like you?!
'be careful because you tread on my dreams.'
oh, poetry and bread, the world goes again!
and all the world revolving
could you tell i'm a clown? oh, good, you can!
i was worried you couldn't read
then again, i feel it's quite obvious
one of us has ADHD
oh, god, oh, no, yippee is dead!
wait, but i'm standing right here?
and i have a sneaking suspicion
i'm going deaf in my left ear
beauty's a myth, the world's a stage
for all us to perform
but then one man trips and breaks his ankle
and settles for a lower score
life is pain, it's easy to see
except when your eyeballs don't work (like me!)
but the only thing grounding me in this hell
is the thought that we'll forever be
will that be true? probably not
but it sure doesn't hurt to try
so please join me and hold my hand
as we step through our crazy lives
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imagine your seeing your f/o perform for the first time. their band was performing at the local fair so you decided to check them out. f/o was always raving about how good their band were and this was a chance for you to actually see them in action. you went with a few of your friends, going on rides and playing carnival games until it was time for f/o’s set. you couldn’t deny how talented they were and you were genuinely enjoying their performance. you were singing along to the songs you knew, dancing with your friends and cheering and applauding f/o’s band. it was nearing the end of their set and they did the usual thing of thanking the audience, and then thanking the council for allowing them to play today. then f/o says, “this final song goes out to a special someone in the crowd today. it’s their first time at one of our concerts and i really appreciate them coming.” your jaw drops when you hear the intro to your favourite song. you had played it on spotify for them a few weeks ago but didn’t think they’d remember it, let alone perform it for you! they make eye contact with you frequently during the song and smile at you each time. you’re singing along while trying to ignore the way your heart is racing and the burning sensation in your cheeks. it doesn’t take long for your friends to connect the dots and soon they are screaming “OH MY GOD!” while jumping and holding your hand. your f/o notices this and sends a wink in your direction. the song ends and although you’re cheering on the outside, the only thoughts swirling through your head are: they learned this song for me. they’re performing my favourite song. they’ve dedicated this song to me.
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as someone who thought he was aro for a long time and probably isn't, and now understands my desire for a relationship in a way that's coloured by that, the thing I want people to understand is that aros are not asking you to cut that out. Of course if dating/crushes are something you enjoy, that's going to make you excited and you're gonna talk about it a lot, and you're going to want to fill that niche with someone. You're just not better than anyone else. It's like how if you like the opera you might reallllyyy want a duet partner, or gush to people about how nice it is to have a new acquaintance that watches performances with you. But your opera-friend isn't superior to the friend you've always played video games with, or the group you meet up with for roller derby, just because you feel like there's something loftier about the opera, you know?
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How I entered the void so easily after 1 year of trying
So after 1 year and half of trying to enter I finally did it and I am so mad because it REALLY IS SOOOOO EASY and tbh if in this post you are looking for any sort of validation or info you smart ass already know then please REMEMBER THIS : entering the void is extremely easy. You just have to do it in a way that resonates with you.
Personally for me since I had adhd I couldn’t just stay still and affirm for 1 or even a few for 10 mins. Not just because I was lazy but because just repeating “I am in the void” for so long gets me tired and makes me think of the void more and you actually don’t want to think too deeep about it. I couldn’t wake 3 hours prior and then affirm or even have the patience to do the psych k, yes I was extremely lazy back then and unpresistent but one thing that helped me even backed then was THE ALPHA STATE MEDITATION !
You just have to find what works for you, find a method technique whatever you want to do that doesn’t seem like a chore. So In a post back then I found on @gorgeouslypink acc talking about doing the alpha sate meditation and I tried it back then and I felt really relaxed and it was a good feeling but like I said back then I was realllly lazy so after a few mins I stopped. Then many months later passed and I was still looking for anything and everything on the void. Then just like two days ago I came across another post which was pretty simple and the technique I used was called the DISTRACTED TECHNIQUE.
All there was to do was the usual you get into a comfortable position and then she said to use the alpha state meditation and used the one gorgeouslypink recommended. So I used it and then what she tell you to do is to just think of anything else just get distracted basically and this WAS SO GOOD 4 ME because back then I had adhd so it made it harder to concentrate on just affirming and so yeah I just thought of random things and then at some point where I was completely distracted I felt my body like lift up 😭 if that makes sense I just can’t clearly describe it. It felt really like a shift and I was like ‘panicking’ in a way but I wasn’t actually panicking I just kinda became aware what was going and then I got scared a little but I just relaxed shortly after. Also my fan that was making like a loud noises was coming in an out and then I only hear it in one ear and then I didn’t hear anything and I just stayed there wondering if I reached the void and i actually was!!! I didn’t feel my body it felt like I had no body at all and it was pitch black just like how I imagined the void to be. For a few minutes I just stayed there feeling the most surreal peace I have ever felt. I needed that peace fr 💀.
So then I affirmed for my desires all I said was “I have all my desired results from my subliminal playlist.” Then just to be extra sure I just said “I have everything I want.”
At that point I got really excited and then I wiggled my toes to get out because I was too dam happy I needed to see all my shit the moment I wake up and then I slowly started getting out and when I tell you I cried for like a good dam minute when I woke up and saw how DIFFERENT. My room looked. I literally screamed onto my pillow. I was so dam scare and yet excited to see how I looked.
WHAT I MANIFESTED :
Desired body and face
Having silky straight tailbone length hair cuz mines was originally curly
And everything in my sub playlist
My desired boyfriend and guys I made him be like Gojo Satoru ( because we are all delusional over him 🤪) and let me tell you he is so tall, handsome, sexy and a literal god. He is so silly too 🩷
Moving countries I now live in ny
Never actually meeting my ex and all the people in my old school forget me and have actually never even met me. Like if u asked them about me they have never heard or known me before
Extremely rich rich like hella bands
Got rid of my anxiety and mental health issue
Plus +++
NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
Even if the circumstances seem to be eating you alive don’t mind that too much. Even if all seems hopeless don’t give up because you already know nothing can decide or be unless you give it power to be. So stop being goofy and take responsibility and DONT STRESS!! You don’t see God stressing do you. All he has to do is blink and whatever he wants to happen, happens. Plus a lot of confidence came from non dualism that I owe a huge thanks to @trynafindbarbiee she really said it like it is !!
YOU GOT THIS ML 🩷🩷🩷🩷
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I'm Marinette, just a normal girl with a normal life. And this is my boyfriend, Adrien, who is TOTALLY NORMAL and NOT MAGICAL AT ALL, teehee. He's really sweet, isn't he? Yeah he's so wonderful and amazing and perfect and I love him so muc— DON'T TOUCH HIS FUCKING RINGS I'LL KILL YOU. Adrien oh my god sweetie please please be careful with those oh my god if you don't I'll puke. Anyway, how did we get together? Well, you see, the local catboy didn't want me anymore and— ADRIEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KEEP YOUR PARENTS' WEDDING BANDS ON YOUR FINGER PLEASE. OH MY GOD IM GOING TO CRY AAAAAAAAAAAA I'M PANICKING IM PANICKING IT'S FIEN IT's fine it's fine! Teehee! I'm normal he's normal we're suuuuch a normal couple. I just love him so much. I watched all three of his parents die
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