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small-reptile-cake · 1 year

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[WARNING] KALEIDOSCOPE OF DEATH SPOILERS

Credits to @zintranslations for their translation of the novel which I binged in less than a month.

Okay. First of all I wanna say that I loved this story all the way through to the end. Aside from the author’s strange perception of women and gender in general, I have no beef with them.

But...

Y'all, I really did not like the Ruan Nanzhu twist at the end of the novel. And I'm glad it's just an Extra because it allows me to pretend like it's a not part of the main story. No tea no shade no pink lemonade to the author but RNZ being a door god not only invalidates plenty of things established throughout the plot, but also most of his actions and emotional beats as a character, it also makes many of those actions feel really twisted. I'll elaborate;

Index:

Ruan Nanzhu's actions and what those imply.

Lin Qiushi's life post 12th door.

Ruan Nanzhu's life and emotional beats as a character we are invested in.

Why Lin Qiushi should have been the door god.

1. Ruan Nanzhu's actions and what those imply.

First of all, he willingly put himself and Lin Quishi through the doors from start to finish, full risk, no breaks, no safe words, and even though LQS had supposedly just left his 12th door and was meant to be safe. Our boy had to go to the hospital so many times during the first few doors, he almost got burnt to death!! Both of them almost got incinerated!! Quishi was shot!!

It would've been a little less worse if at some point throughout the story both RNZ and LQS had died, or were meant to die but then surprisingly came out alive in the end, and then the glitch made them realize something was off about one of them. Then they would’ve looked into it at some point and Quishi would've been able to figure out Nanzhu wasn't human BEFORE CROSSING THE 12TH DOOR, actually foreshadowing the twist instead of just showing it to us out of nowhere. It would also imply RNZ didn't actually put LQS through the same lethal risk he survived once without RNZ. What if one of them perished during the second run because RNZ was unable to remember he was actually a god and could protect them if he truly wanted to? And aside from all the risk, they also had to deal with the fear of losing eachother, all because RNZ has a penchant for dram

2. Lin Quishi's life.

Are you really telling me LQS got a lifetime of memories where he was mostly alone, where his parents abandoned him and he had just the one friend, all while Nanzhu was running around living Quishi's life? With his loving parents, his contact list full of people who either worshipped him, cared enough to work with him, or directly lived with him under his leadership???? Yo, what??? And even if it wasn't intentional, it was still his actions that caused it. If you really want the twist of RNZ as a god, then either the writer could've established Nanzhu's life as his own (it still would’ve made sense for him to become unwavering the leader of obsidian and go through thousands of doors per year if he was a god), or at the very least she could've made him a mysterious stranger without a past who caught Qiushi's attention inside the doors, got invited to join obsidian (by LQS who would still be the leader in this case), and when Nanzhu really doesn't remember how he got in or what his life was like before the first door, others get to assume whatever he was about to die from must've affected his memories.

3. Ruan Nanzhu's life and emotional beats as a character we are invested in

So... None of it was real? The grief and guilt he felt over the people he lost; his seniors, his colleagues...was actually Quishi's? Nothing about him being a scared kid who had to grow too strong too fast to survive the doors and eventually take over Obsidian was real? Nothing about the supposed lover (not the friend from the tenth door, but point still stands) he lost to the doors, something that was mentioned ONCE and never explained, was really his own experience? Like, why was he even a physics teacher in the eleventh door If he wasn't human? He shouldn't have appeared for Quishi at all. That would've also worked as foreshadowing if RNZ only existed during the nightime like everyone else, because he would’ve been an NPC.

4. Why LQS should have been the door god

There, I said it. It makes more sense. A guy who was mostly detached from life by having no one around him, aside from a cat who suddenly starts to resent him before he enters his first door; which, btw, maybe Chestnut didn't like him because cats are usually more intuitive in paranormal stories, so he knew he'd never seen this man before the first door, or at least he knew LQS wasn't human and then started warming up the more time LQS spent in the real world going throuh the doors.

About LQSs abilities;

He's oddly calm in front of most harrowing events, which would make sense if he was an omnipotent god, or just knew in the back of his mind he'd already seen it all play out before.

According to Nanzhu's supernatural perception, his aura of light is greater than anyone else’s.

It's often mentioned in the novel that compared to most people Quishi got used to them much faster and needed less time to recover than anyone. Even when compared to Nanzhu, who supposedly went through thousands of doors (and who is supposed to be a god)

It’s constantly mentioned how fortunate he is about the items he encounters and how he’s constantly coming out of the doors by the skin of his teeth.

Also, Nanzhu had a troubled backstory, he had friends, had seniors, had parents who cared for him, had a past lover he lost in a tragic way (allegedly). One of LQS's best qualities is being mild-tempered and calm, the life he supposedly lived fits RNZ's character a lot more Namely hooking up with Bai Ming. . Even if this was technically all Quishi's life, according to the eleventh door if RNZ hadn't gone into the doors he still would've had a life as a physics teacher! That’s definitely not something he got from LQS’s life and memories. And if we were supposed to see it coming that he wasn't human, he should have existed only at night like all the other NPC's. Because then all we saw about Qiushi's life without the doors was that he would've stayed the same. Untethered to reality, too focused on his work and studies to live a normal life which... feels like an excuse from someone not quite human to explain their lack of experiences in life WHICH QUISHI COMPLAINS ABOUT CONSTANTLY "I'm going to die without ever having lived through most things".

To conclude: I have no idea how they're going to write the twist into the upcoming drama considering it's just an extra in the novel and a barely foreshadowed one at that, barely integrated with the rest of the novel. Let LQS be a good and let RNZ be a human with a troubled past and an unusual companion who enters his life when he’s about to enter the most dangerous of the doors and will need the support and drive to keep going.

#kaleidoscope of death #KoD #RNZ #Ruan Nanzhu #Lin Qiushi #Cheng Qianli #Cheng Yixie

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nothorses · 4 years

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This thread on Twitter (also give @Azure_Husky a follow!!)

Linked Article Transcript below

Content warnings for transphobia against transmasculine people, including violence and harassment It's easy to say that transmasculine people get male privilege and face less oppression than many other trans people, but only if you don't actually listen https://m.dailykos.com/stories/2019/8/9/1877651/-There-is-a-hidden-epidemic-of-violence-against-transmasculine-people

I hear pretty constantly from transmasculine people about the violence they face from cis people and the erasure, condescension, and "suck it up, you're the oppressor now" attitudes they get from other trans people.

We are failing the transmasculine parts of our communities. We are failing our brothers and masculine siblings. We need to get better at listening to transmasculine people's concerns and working together rather than fostering hierarchies of oppression within transness

Once transness is involved, shit gets complicated. Simple responses of "misandry doesn't exist because men have the power" assume transmasculine people have access to the same privileges as average cis men when frequently they don't.

One of the saddest things about being someone who talks about this is that i regularly get transmasculine people giving heartfelt thanks for the smallest mentions of their needs & concerns bc they're so used to transfeminine people ignoring their existence or being antagonistic

We need to do better. I refuse for some of us trans people to base our fights for equality and justice by stepping on the needs of other trans people.

I see transfeminine people I care about and respect who will sometimes share "let's make a world without men" type things and like I have had these feelings too, I struggle under misogyny and have a bunch of bad experiences with (cis, especially but not exclusively) men. *and*-

- i've seen too many of my transmasculine siblings' hurt as they are constantly lumped into "just as bad as cis men" baskets (which I also have feelings about but is a larger topic I think) & have heard from too many transmasculine people who have spent years in denial bc of this

I've heard from too many transmasculine people who have put off transitioning, tried to avoid accepting their gender, because they internalized the constant stream of this shit. And I love trans people too fucking much to keep letting it go.

I get that for many of our communities there can be some incredible trauma around masculinity, either because it was enforced on us against our will or due to violence and/or sexual assault. And i don't debate the validity of that trauma.

And also we can't extrapolate our trauma into "this segment of trans people, by virtue of their gender, is worth less (or worthless)".

I mean if we want to dig into it, a lot of us transfeminine people get attacked by transphobes under the auspices of trauma regarding specific genitals or gender expressions or body types. And most of us can agree that their trauma doesn't mean they get to denigrate us.

Honestly I'm tired. And also I acknowledge that my tiredness about this cannot be even a mild fraction of the exhaustion of the trans people targeted and erased by this must be.

So I'm calling on y'all and asking you to please do better by *all* trans people. I get the joy and relief in venting about men. I do. We live in a misogynistic society and a lot of us suffer under the hands of a specific gender and sometimes we need an outlet.

But at the very least please be aware of when your venting is in a public space where it *is* going to harm and affect others, and specifically other trans people (since I don't have the spoons to get into a larger discussion about cis men currently)

Know that every time we make vent-jokes (or not jokes) about how everyone who is masculine is worthless to us, we are directly damaging other trans people, and possibly painfully forcing some to deny themselves or stay closeted because who would want to become The Enemy, right?

And I feel like I *have* to keep talking about this because if transmasc people stick up for themselves, I see how often they get shot down as just another "not all men" concern troll or like they're trying to talk over feminine people

Hell I've seen threads where a transmasc person starts the thread to talk about transmasc issues and *still* people have declared it derailing or speaking over others. How do we address their oppression if they aren't allowed to discuss it anywhere?

So as a transfeminine person I've got allyship privilege here where I may be condemned as having internalized misogyny or being an assimilationist or something but at least I can't be seen as just another dude talking over women

(i use the binary language there thoughtfully bc a lot of these Us vs Them dichotomies tend to erase nonbinary people or pretend that all nonbinary people are centre or feminine of centre on the gender spectrum)

Just. Do better. Please. Like. Just listen to transmasculine people with an open heart for a bit and hear the intense transphobia and discrimination they also face and consider the impact of your words on them.

It sucks to see people who are generally caring and thoughtful about many types of oppression just.. Let it all go when a chance to lump transmasc people in with The Enemy comes up.

Addendum: I've had a couple people express concern that I'm saying that transfeminine people shouldn't address when they are facing transmisogyny from transmasculine people and I hope that it is clear that isn't what I am saying at all.

Transmasculine people can be transmisogynistic, absolutely! I've had experiences with that too. What this thread is about is the fact that for *some* people, transmasculine people as a whole are considered less marginalized by dint of their masculinity and it isn't that simple.

So saying broad statements about transmasculine people isn't "punching up". Its horizontal violence if it's coming from other trans people or can be punching down if it's coming from cis people. That is what this thread is meant to address.

By all means we should be discussing and addressing transmisogyny. But transmasculine people discussing the specifics of their own concerns isn't in and of itself transmisogyny. We do no one any favours by trying to silence that.

This thread isn't about transfeminine people never speaking ill of transmasculine people or vice versa. Its about calling-in a specific subset of transfeminine communities for treating transmasculine people as a whole as disposable and The Enemy.

#trans #trans rights #transmasc #transgender #trans man #not horses

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redwinterroses · 3 years

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I’m doing my very best not to format this as a literary analysis paper but that’s basically what this is so forgive me if I slip back into those old habits at all. And I'm going to tag @betweenlands and @fluffy-papaya in this because guys look what your fic made me brainrot. XD

(This is a long one, y'all. We're talking 2k words. Sorry.)

That said:

Hey, let’s talk about the bead curtain in Dog at the Door.

That dang bead curtain, and why I’m currently fixating on it, and how I think it has symbolism that may or may not be intentional.

(At this point, I’m assuming it’s intentional. Everything about this fic is intentional. Including the pain. Heh. “The only difference between a running gag and a recurring theme is how seriously you take it,” says Solar. Cool. I’m taking it seriously.)

The curtain first shows up in chapter one. It’s one of the first things we see in the van, and the first thing we know about it is that Doc finds it obnoxious. Ugly. Revolting. Renbob loves it, obviously, but Renbob has odd tastes. Doc, on the other hand, literally uses his hatred of the curtain to motivate him to get out of bed in the morning.

The Red King, when he shows up, also has similar dislike of the thing, but his reaction is a little more measured, a little less extreme. More distaste, less disgust. He finds it “distasteful” and compares it to wearing a labcoat without a shirt (lol). But he doesn’t loath it like Doc does, and when Doc suggests (in chapter 13) that they take it down and use it for friendship bracelets, he’s as displeased with that idea as Renbob is. He has an ambivalent opinion, overall.

And then Ren. Ren actually reacts the least to the curtain—but ends up with the most dramatic interaction with it, which we’ll come back to in a second. He simply says (chapter 24) that normally he’d find the beads hideous, but that the light of Doc’s eye reflecting off it into the shadows makes it oddly peaceful.

There’s exactly one other use of the word “curtain” in this fic, and it’s this line right here:

“I haven’t done anything but possess him and lead his soul back to the controls.” RK throws his hands up in the air. “He’s put himself behind the curtain because he thinks I’m out to get him. My only crime is the original contract I made with him, doctor.”

In this instance, RK is talking about their “imperfect metaphor” of Ren being behind the curtain that separates the “driver’s seat” from the rest of the van that is Ren’s mind/soul. He’s saying that Ren has deliberately put himself in a position of defeat and surrender because he (Ren) doesn’t think there are any other options.

M’kay. Right about now, any sane person is going, “Red. Why are you so fixated on this bead curtain. It’s a running joke at best.”

And... I mean, sure. Kinda. But also definitely not.

This is the part where I really step out on a potentially-shaky limb with all the confidence in the world, because here’s what I'm seeing: the dividing line between life and death is often portrayed in literature as a curtain.

(And it’s interesting to note that the curtain is a barrier, a separation, but it’s only a curtain, and this one is made of beads at that. It’s a flimsy and fluid barrier, easy to pass through. Back and forth. Surrender and control, life and death.)

In fact, even in this fic it’s used that way: RK may be referring to the metaphorical bead curtain in their van of an explanation for how his and Ren’s relationship works, but in the story at that point Ren is convinced that he’s dead. Or is supposed to be dead. And by putting himself “behind the curtain,” he’s surrendering to that. Almost insisting on it, because that’s the truth of how he sees the world right then and he can’t process any other possibilities. He’s basically saying “I’m supposed to be dead, and this side of the curtain is death, so that’s where I’ll stay.”

So if the curtain in the metaphor represents the two sides of that, it’s really interesting to look at the various characters’ reactions to the literal bead curtain and see how it reflects their attitudes toward death—and specifically Ren’s death.

Renbob is... chill. He has an entirely comfortable relationship with the bead curtain, with life and death, with his own emotions—even with dealing with the emotions of the others he’s chauffeuring across the universe. While he isn’t immune to the grief of losing (or thinking he’s lost) Ren, he deals with it in a relatively healthy way—at least as much as we see. I think there was a possibly-canon ask at some point that said he was journaling and meditating so... yeah. Renbob’s got this. And 50 other bead curtains in storage. He’s the only character in the fic who passes in and out of the curtain regularly and without it being a big deal.

To put it simply: Renbob is on good terms with whatever happens in life, up to and including the end of it. (Renbob is arguably the equal and opposite of Grimdog. Two sides of the same coin in more ways than one.)

Contrast that now with Doc. Doc is... not a fan of the bead curtain. It represents a loss of control to him, (“freakin’ hippies”) and a separation from what he loves. In the past, he and Ren were on opposite sides of that conflict, and the beads still somewhat represent that tension (though in a mostly nostalgic, and not actively-antagonistic way.) But the language Doc’s narration uses to describe the beads is strong. “Obnoxious.” “Accursed.” “Horrendously evil.”

Nearly as scary as his best friend trying to kill him.

It’s played for laughs, obviously, and it is funny. But if we project the symbolism of “the curtain represents death” onto Doc’s reactions, it gets a bit less amusing. And it really fits with Doc’s attitude toward Ren’s death in the whole fic. It’s the worst thing he’s ever faced—to the extent that until RK’s seemingly-permanent presence forces him to, Doc doesn’t even try to process it. He goes right to work on the prosthetics, growls at anyone who tries to make him do anything he doesn't want to do, accepts RK as “New Ren,” and pretends that he’s going on with life.

He refuses to look at how weird the whole situation is, because if he does that he has to deal with Ren being gone forever. He ignores the thing that’s right under his nose and pretends it’s not there until a moment of quiet or actually having to interact with it brings it back to his attention, and then his reaction is vitriolic.

Doc hates that curtain, and he hates the concept of death, the concept of losing control. Even in his nightmares, he holds tight to what little control he can take, even if it’s just taking the initiative to sit in the snow and let it kill him faster. Hold onto that thought, because I’ve got more to it, but we have to talk about RK and Ren first.

RK holds both distaste and acceptance of the curtain. He doesn’t like it, but he doesn’t want it destroyed either. The distaste, notably, is when he’s with Doc, and the acceptance comes from being around Renbob. The Red King, as a blood god, is not exactly unfamiliar with death. It’s literally in his job description, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. A necessary evil, if you will.

It doesn’t hurt either that, at least up until Ren, RK has always been the one on the other side of the curtain, completely in control of the situation. He goes back and forth on his attitudes, but in the past he has been the one in control and the bringer of death. His reaction is negative, but not emphatic—the way someone who has plenty of indoor plans might react to a rainstorm.

Ren... now, Ren. Ren has, like I said, the least recorded reaction to the actual, physical bead curtain. But. But. While he normally would call it hideous, “there’s something oddly peaceful about watching light fractals spin off the walls, cutting off into the shadows.” The shadows, it’s worth noticing, are specifically implied to be RK/hiding RK in this moment. Doc’s light and RK’s shadows interacting with the curtain bring peace to Ren. He passes through it easily to find Renbob.

Ren has already accepted his death—he accepted it long before the fic even started—to an extent that he’s actively insisting on it for a large portion of the story. It’s only when he realizes that Doc is in potential danger that he starts fighting RK for control of the situation again. (“Stay away from Doc, you bastard. He wasn’t part of our bargain. Leave him alone.”)

He dislikes the bead curtain, but he doesn’t hate it, and when seen in the (literal) light of Doc’s protective, watching eye—even if he is asleep at the moment, bless—even the shadows of RK’s presence are suddenly beautiful and peaceful to him in a way that, without the “reflecting fractals” of the beads, wouldn’t be possible. Again: this is the chapter where Renbob’s influence is felt, and his peace with life and death directly affects Ren and his reactions. (“It’ll all sort itself out, eventually, and I’ll be here for you while it does.”)

And then...

And then Ren rips down the curtain altogether.

The separation is gone. For better or for worse, that divide between control and surrender, between RK and Ren, between life and death... it’s gone. It’s scattered across the floor of the van, glittering in Ren’s hair, and in the carpet. Ren has broken through that barrier, and now we just have to wait to see what the consequences of that are for him.

But... we can already see at least one consequence for Doc. Because now there is no more illusion of control and surrender for him to maintain. That division is no longer there, and we see Doc’s first real surrender in the whole story. Even in his nightmares, he was still in control: he knew it was a nightmare, and he fought against it until he “gave up”—in a way that still put him in control. He chooses to sit in the snow so it’ll kill dream-him faster.

He acts like he doesn’t care, but it’s still not that: he takes control in the only way he knows, aware that everything is only a dream and no matter what how it treats him, he’ll still wake up in the end. He looks at the nightmare and says basically “Do your worst, I dare you, but you won’t get what you want from me.”

But now—now he surrenders to Ren. He gives up. His core truth (“I’ll do anything to protect those I love,” which I talked about in this post) looks like it’s not going to be enough to save them. He can’t save Ren—from RK or from Ren himself—and that means he’s lost in the worst way possible. In this moment, it looks like Ren doesn’t even trust that Doc’s core truth—that he will do anything to save his friends—is true.

This is Doc’s lowest point: that Ren seems to think Doc’s loyalty and love have failed. And to Doc... that’s a fate worse than death.

So he gives up. He tells Ren to kill him, and he fully expects him to do so. Doc doesn’t want to die, but at this point he has completely let go of any control of his own fate. Even when facing down Ren with the Skizz blade, he held tightly to his control of the situation. He literally takes the sword in his own hand and removes it as a threat. But now—now the curtain is gone. The illusion of control is gone.

Ren is the one in control of the situation—for possibly the first time in the fic—and he chooses to remember that Doc is his friend, that he’s missed him. But Doc leaves it all to him. Even when Ren backs off, Doc stays in that surrendered state (“I can’t do anything right, unlike [Martyn.]”). He realizes that he's been in the passenger seat the whole time, and he’s now where Ren was before: no longer even trying to take back the driver’s seat.

The curtain is gone. Now we just have to wait and see who ends up on which side of it at the end.

#long post #dog at the door #datd #i got about halfway through this yesterday and then was told that the bead curtain was important to today's chapter #and I thought: okay. I'll wait and it'll probably blow my entire theory out of the water.#and then NOPE turns out I'm pretty sure this is where it was going all along and I'm just a nerd who happened to notice

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sycrx · 4 years

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hello again it’s your backyard eldritch horror cel here with the poisonous hellfire that is Barty Jr.

( cis male | he/him | jordan connor ) —— isn’t that BARTEMIUS “BARTY” CROUCH JUNIOR ? yeah that is them, sitting there at the HUFFLEPUFF table with those other SEVENTH years. when sybill looks into that crystal ball of hers, she sees ceramic venetian masks; crafted bedheads; the fleeting feeling of emptiness; angelic faces with demonic thoughts; bitten cheeks; burning pages of coded texts; immaculate silk ties and stupidly wide grins. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty ROGUISH, INSINCERE, and GUILEFUL. apparently they’re a VENIT TEMPESTAS and PUREBLOOD but i’m sure that’s not related. —— [ cel : akdt : 22 : she/her ]

𝑰. 𝐻𝐼𝑆𝑇𝑂𝑅𝑌 » though never dubbed ‘ deviant ’ / here lies a renegade : craving & hungry , caged . deadly / half - dead , but he’s never unleashed .

see : ( alice ) for further crouch information / bg tw ; manipulation , psychopathic tendencies

barty jr. is mr. crouch’s first and only son ; and it’s a fact that’s let him sleep easy at night for as long as he can remember. he was a favourite early on and all he had to do was the very bare minimum to keep that title, watering the soil here and there and watching it grow without struggle. it was never a question of if for him, the way it was with his sister — but of when . he knows alice would be a greater challenge to surpass in the face of his father had they been identical ; but they aren’t, and that was the end of that for him.

growing up, the idea of justice was cemented in barty’s mind in a way he could barely understand. his father would be sceptical of his endless questions on ‘ why ? ’ while his mother easily brushed it off as how selfish children could be. when rebutting alice as a prime example of understanding, it didn’t take long for barty to catch on to the safety of matching an accepted standard over his own. a mere watering of security.

in fact, bartemius snr has actually always been quite suspicious of barty, and hasn’t been nearly as easily won over as henrika. he’d been there for when barty was nothing but a sulky, quiet kid who seemed to transform overnight. ironically enough, his play to the opposite side of the spectrum even has him coming off too soft at times, something unfavourable to law enforcement. still, despite this, barty has managed to play his cards right, and still received that ministry seat over the much safer choice of his sister.

barty always had a very calculated relationship with his siblings. to come off kind and open enough to seem like he was trying without ever pushing the bar for it to actually make them close . and with their parents — it was easy. a little reminder of the favouritism to alice and her disdain was clear enough to make his distance understandable. an inclusion of his mother and she’d be shooing him away from his younger sister on her own terms, making the girl just as hesitant to reach out in turn.

—— plot related !

when alice was revealed as the founder of ‘for the light’, barty was equal parts shocked and enraged — he had no idea anything was even happening behind closed doors ( much of that thanks to alice purposefully trying to keep her siblings in the dark ), but was moreso mad at the implication of how his not being involved could look on his part. he knows only time awaits for the task of getting in as a plant — but with alice’s fed jealousy and the pull from his parents to stay out of it — he has much work to do to rid himself of a dangerous “neutral” status.

of course, barty isn’t neutral, and secretly aligns himself with the death eaters to the knowledge of very few, aiming to prove his worth to them before taking on the role. for now, though he has caught the attention of voldemort himself, he clearly isn’t to be trusted too easily by most, thus leaving them in the dark.

𝑰𝑰. 𝐴𝑁 𝐼𝑁𝑆𝐼𝐺𝐻𝑇 » the crown sits light / never fallen , the weight of its veil sitting nice on his nose , the glint in his eye hidden . behind him sits history ; and the front awaits a feast .

barty is, by all accounts, the epitome of a two-faced bastard.

he started off fully mimicking what he knew worked — and at the time that was just his sister. but while alice bloomed into her own person, her own mix of kindness and strength — barty took to the security of the former’s blanket. he became the softer one, the one who shone smiles and acted above and beyond in kindness for others, who stood for fairness and could listen and see the pain in others. because that, what he realised, was just it : he felt nothing. empathy was an entirely foreign concept for barty. he had no struggles of his own and saw everyone else’s problems as a thing they merely had to accept . but being raised in the home that he was, it was easy to learn what that empathy should be. when his father would talk about raising up walls to prevent emotions from clouding your judgement, he was making way for a game : one that helped barty create those emotions to begin with.

his mind is just constantly reeling in a way Very typical of a crouch, but it’s never exactly a noble thing and he’s learned to hide every inch of that in a face of faux - joviality.

it should probably be stressed that only a very select few would be aware that he can be anything but delightful . an intelligent character that spends enough time with him might catch on to something — especially if they’re a seer / legilimens or have another reason to just “feel it”. but know that barty would be weary of spending too much time with these types to begin with. this man goes on to fool albus dumbledore with his manipulation. not to mention sirius as well, who is still canonically hella powerful / intelligent as a wizard and v adamant in his moral compass. it’ll take a lot to suspect him, unless he fuels the fire himself.

so essentially, he will come off as a really happy, chill dude. the type who might be a solid quidditch player and dueller, but he’d never hurt a fly. he’s never lost his temper and he’s never seen taking anything too seriously. and again, this is all because everything he does is just so calculated.

𝑰𝑰𝑰. 𝑆𝑈𝑀𝑀𝐴𝑅𝑌 »

i forced mhairi to make the twins geminis rising Just for this bastard and i feel like that’s a great start to establishing his Power

he’s very much just a devil in disguise, and though he will always act like nothing short of a pure cinnamon roll, he’s probably plotting your downfall for stealing his quill that one time in first year.

also generally just privileged to shit, both from being from a powerful family and being utterly babied in it. has definitely said “i mean it's one banana what could it cost? 10 galleons?”

see his stats here , and some random headcanons that didn't really fit anywhere here if you want more for some hellish reason.

𝑰𝑽. 𝑊𝐴𝑁𝑇𝐸𝐷 𝑃𝐿𝑂𝑇𝑆 »

( play mates ) ; basically the people barty can use as his friend group. those who are either willing to overlook the odd hint of who he really is, whether through lack of care themselves ( e.g. those siding neutral / venit without being so apparently evil he’d avoid them ) or just people who are as innocent / forgiving as barty pretends to be .

( exes / prospects ) ; barty is not interested in love, but he can keep up an act. his relationships would likely come off as very superficial to those involved, never rooting themselves too deep and often lasting no longer than a few months at best. being just as strategic as everything else — he’d essentially go through girlfriends ( specifically ) with the intention of finding someone who’d both help him in name and not risk asking too many questions down the line ( and could be easy to dispose of oop ) .

( a taste of it ) ; these would be the people who’ve caught a glimpse of what barty’s capable of. usually through an action affecting them directly, though jr would be relentless in his innocent denial.

( a raw look ) ; i can’t really see this as a thing with the characters we have so far yet — but anyone who would be unwaveringly venit-leaning / a death eater might have barty reveal himself in all honesty to them ; that is, as a sardonic, apathetic egomaniac. or at the very least, as somehow being on their side ( to their potential confusion, if y'all want some drama )

idk sis feel inspired ?? shoot me with it

#petrificus.intro #tbt /#there he is...... the Literal Worst

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reeree1500 · 5 years

Text

The Return- Part 10

Disclaimer: YALL IM SO SO SO SORRY.😭😭 I have been horrible and not updated this story for at least a month.😬 I can explain though... University has been kicking my ass and between that and my co-op placement at a law firm.😅 Ive had absolutely no time to do anything😩 BTW IVE MISSED YALL SO MUCH❤️And Ive read all your messages and asks. And yes my mental health is now better and y'all are so understanding and supportive 💕 honestly could not have asked for a better group of individuals☺️❤️

Part 1 part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 11

Anyways onto the storyyyyy.....

Warnings: ANGSTY AF (kinda figured out that im probably a smut and angst writer at this point🤷🏽‍♀️), sucky ass grammar and spelling like always, my cliche imagination and the fact that Im probably a horrible human being😬😩 Also made it extra long cuz I felt baddd

PLEASE DONT KILL ME FOR THIS ONE😬

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @cutegyrl927 @wuxiesalt @readsalot73 @cindy-exo @affection-rabbit @amy8220 @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms @limbo-limbo-limbo @ragnarssonsbitch @supernaturalvikingwhore @ifihadwings128 @paintballkid711 @jenny-the-lover @funmadnessandbadassvikings @blonddnamedhandz @hallowed-heathen @pinkrockstar19 @ivarthethiccness

Sorry if I missed any of you💕 Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Also requests are open, and I’ve got a ton of them to do and finish. Hopefully Ill be able to post them soon enough

Arthur’s POV

“Arthur please! Open the door my love, I know what it may seem like to you, but I assure you that its not.” (Y/n) pleaded from the other side. I sat down on the mattress in our chamber contemplating whether or not it was true. Should I believe what my wife so desperately is trying to reassure me off. Or should I stick with my gut feeling and tell her how I have felt for the last 4 years. Her constant pounding on the door finally gets to me and I make my way to open it. “I wish to be left alone at the moment (y/n).” Her arms circle around my waist and I can feel her face wetting by back with tears. “Arthur please, talk to me. Why have you run off. You know that I love you. I do not want him, all he does is bring me pain and you take that away. So please, talk to me!” (y/n) murmurs into my back. As much as it pains me to do so I pry her hands off of me and sit us down on the bed. All I do is long for her touch, but this is not okay. I cannot keep feeling this way and go on pretending that I could have ever stood a chance against him. “(y/n), look at me. I love you and I always will. But its evident that you love him. and I honestly can say that I know I will never stand a chance against him, because the thought of you possibly running back to him has always been on my mind since the day we got married.”

Her eyes showed so much pain that confessing this felt as if I was driving a knife through her heart. “Arthur, I love you. What can I do to show you that. Yes I confess that I was in love with him, but that was long ago and I have left it in the past in order to build a future with you. Whom I love and who I share and will continue to share beautiful children with. So please don't shut me out, Arthur.” She says leaning our foreheads together and holding my face in her gentle hands. “Ok, however I want to be able to process things by myself. So I have decided to have the guest room across the hall prepared only until I figure things out.” With out giving her a chance to fight back, I place my lips on hers and savour the kiss as if it were our last. Meeting her eyes was something I wanted to avoid as I knew that just looking at her broken expression would make me change my mind. I hastily make my way out of the room, but sneak a quick glance over my shoulder to find my wife staring off into the direction where I once sat. With tears streaming down her eyes...

Your POV

What had I done? Why was I such fool to not see what my husband was clearly going through? Millions of questions rushed into my mind about how to go about this situation. I loved Arthur, I was clear on that. But he spoke the truth, there was something in me that could not let Ivar go and it took hurting my husband and Ivar to figure that out. As I sulked I forgot about the doctor whom I had asked to see me earlier. I was having really bad stomach pains and my breasts were more tender then they had ever been. So I wanted to make sure that I was not sick, as that would have been the last thing I needed on my plate at the moment. “My Queen, are you alright? Do you wish to push back this appointment, I dont mind coming by later when you're better.” The doctor spoke from behind me. “Yes, it seems so. Ill let the servant girl know if I need you doctor. Im sorry for the inconvenience.” “Nonsense your majesty, it is my pleasure to serve you.” With a bow the doctor retreats from the room and Im left to my own thoughts once again...

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“(y/n), wake up... its seems that you fell asleep on the floor. Come on I’ll help you up.” Upon hearing Hvitty’s comforting voice my eyes flutter open and I cant help the tears that song come down my face like a cascade. “(y/n)! are you alright are you hurt anywhere? Why are you crying?” Hvitserk’s eyes scan my face and my body looking for the source of my pain, which is held in my heart, but he’ll never know that. “Arthur... He...” I try to find the words to say. “What! What did he do! Did he hurt you? I swear ill kill him!” With that Hvitserk tries to let me go and run out the door, but somehow I manage to stop him. “Hvitserk, No! He didn't hurt me. I hurt him... He believes that Im in love with Ivar, and I fear that their maybe some truth to it...” I say just above a whisper, with my head held low. “(Y/N), Ive known that since before you were married. It was obvious, but I would never say anything to you because I found that it was best if I kept such observations to myself, before I found out about your father.” Lifting my head and staring directly at him, I move my head to the side with a puzzling look. “What do you mean about my father, Hvitserk?” Hvitserk now mirrors the same lost look that I have on my face. “I thought thats why you and Ivar had gotten together, because Ragnar’s not your father...”

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Ivar’s POV

“Aghhhh!”Is the sound that comes out of my gritted teeth when the medicinal herbs are placed on my face. “That hurts like a bitch, get out! Ill do this myself if I have to. GO!” I yell at the servant girl who tried to cleanse and tend to the cuts on my face. “Ivar, please let the servants tend to you. I still cannot believe that Arthur punched you in the face. Hehehe, you deserved it though, how could you question the paternity of his children and not expect him to want to kill you?” Bjorn laughs as he chugs the rest of his drink down. “Well, if you actually cared about your children and the heir to your throne, you’d also be quite upset to find a Christian King claiming to be their father. Those children are mine! And its pretty evident, just look at Marjorie. She's my spitting image.” I snarl at him as the anger begins to rise in me again. “Ivar, thats your mistake and why you’ll never get (y/n) back. You believe that everything should be yours. And that people are things you can govern over, but they're not. Because those are children. And yes they may be yours, but you cannot take away what they have known because you want to be selfish.” He says with a stern look on his face, whilst getting up from his chair and making his way to the door. “Now get ready and fix yourself we have a intimate dinner to attend to with MY sister and the love of your life.” Unbeknownst to us, there was Freydis on the balcony listening to our whole conversation. And little did I know that it would come to be the thing I regretted the most.

At the dinner I notice (y/n) sit on the opposite side of the table from Arthur. This wouldn't have affected me if it wasn't for the look on both of their faces. They seemed distraught and broken. Arthur masked it well, but (y/n) was an open book for all of us to know exactly how she felt at that moment. Not much talking happened, besides Marjorie and Erik shouting at each other on who was better at riding. They reminded me a lot of myself and all I wanted was to tell them the truth, that they were my children and that they would go back to Kattegat with me to learn about the true gods and not the fable that had been told to them about their so called ‘God’.” “(Y/n) are you alright, you do not seem quite like yourself tonight.” Bjorn states with a concerned look that we all share. Even Arthur looks a bit concerned, but his body language makes it seem as if he is alright and nothing is wrong. “Sarah, could you please put Marjorie and Erik to bed? Its getting late for them and they have their lessons early in the morning.” She says with a stern and cold look in her (e/c) eyes. “Su...sure your majesty. “ At that Bjorn stands up as if to accompany Sarah, but is quickly stopped by (y/n)’s icy glare and venomous words. “Sit your ass down.” At that we all look astonished, but Hvitserk only stares at her with sadness and what seems to be sympathy. He must know why she is like this then.

Bjorn slowly sits back down on the table. A shocked look graces his face, as he cannot comprehend why she is acting this way towards her beloved older brother. “How long.” Is all she grits out through her teeth. “What do you mean, (y/n)?” My eyes meet Hvitserk’s own and the realization dawns upon me. She knows...

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Your POV

“Stop with the bullshit! I cannot take anyone else lying to me!” I scream as I bang my hands against the table, stunning everyone in sight. “How long did you know that Ragnar was not my father! How long have you kept the truth from me! How long have you known that Athelstan was my father!” I could careless about everyone staring at me as if I was a mad woman. I had been lied to my whole life. All I had known had been a lie, and the people who I trusted the most in this world had been the ones keeping it a secret from me. “(Y/N)... I..I’ve know since the moment you were born. But father had sworn me into secrecy and I could not break a promise. This doesn't change anything though. You are still my sister and you will always be.” Bjorn says in a haste as tries to come closer to me, but I step back and move as far back as I can. “Did you know? Tell me! Ivar did you know that we were not siblings!” Ivar didn't even have to answer. I knew from the look in his eyes that he too had been lying to me.

“I knew.” Arthur says staring right at me. “I knew that you weren't his daughter and I knew that Ivar wasn't your brother. But I kept that information from you because all I wanted to do was have you by my side. I’m sorry, for the pain I have caused you (y/n). Im sorry for being selfish and not telling you the truth, but I now see that I was wrong and as of tomorrow you are free to go back to your country. I promise that your title and lands will not be taken from you or from the children. May they be mine or his. But I cannot go on with this facade anymore.” Arthur says in the most calm demeanour as he stands up and comes to me. “You hypocrite! How dare you make me feel like shit for harbouring feelings for Ivar when you knew all along and knew that my whole life was a lie.” I scream as I run at him and slap him across the face. But before I can get another punch in I feel a strong grip holding me from behind. From the shocks and the utter feeling in my stomach I knew it could have only been Ivar. As I try desperately to release from his vice grip, my whole world comes crashing down when Sarah enters the room. With blood all over her.

“Your highnesses...Erik.... he.. he..” She tries to say through her shock. “What! What is wrong with my son!” Ivar, Arthur and I scream at the same time. “He.. he’s dying!”

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We all simultaneously run after Sarah towards the doctors quarters. Ivar with his brace on, manages to run faster than all of us and busts the doors wide open. if I wasn't so worried about my son or upset about the fact they all knew Ragnar wasn't my father, I would've been impressed. “What are you doing! Get away from my son!” At that Ivar rushes towards the doctor who is bleeding Erik out. Grabbing him by the collar he slams the doctor on the wall and his sclera go into bluish hue, showing that he is in danger of breaking a bone. “Ivar stop it! Let the man go, he is just trying to help.” “Help my ass! I will not let you harm my son, do you understand me! I will not let you harm him!” At that Ivar lets the doctor go, but not without staring him down. And the doctor looking like he is about to shit himself. Rushing to Erik’s side I notice something strange. The colour of his skin is now fading and his eyes have bags under them. But what hits me the most is the memory of Uncle Rollo teaching me about poison. “He doesn't need to be bled, he needs medicine. He’s been poisoned...”

“Mama! What is wrong with Erik! He will be okay right? He has to be okay!” Marjorie begins to say as she shakes with fear. Before Arthur or I could say something to console her, Ivar bends down and takes her hands in his. “Marjorie, listen to me. Your brother is a fighter and so are you. After all were related aren't we?” Ivar says as he lifts her chin. “Yes..I suppose that we are. Is it true what they say though? Are you our father?” At that Ivar turns to me looking towards me for permission. At this point I think to myself how hard it was to learn my whole life had been a lie and that I would not want that for my children, so I nod. “Yes, Marjorie I am your father. And no your mother is not my sister. It was something that we had to say because she needed to be kept safe.” He says ever so calmly. “Safe from who?”She questions “From my mother. Your grandmother.”

Cough*Cough* Spurts of blood cover me in seconds. My attention becomes focused in on my son again. “Where is the damn antidote! Please someone hurry!” At that Hvitserk runs into the room with a small green vial. “Here take this it should help him. Lagertha gave it to me before her and father left. Something about it would come in handy some day. Here.” Shoving the vial in my hands I open it quickly and lift Erik’s head. “Drink this Erik. It should help you, my darling. Please be strong, I know you're scared, but you’ll be alright ok. Everything will be ok.” I say through tears. Today had been the worst day by far. “Mira... please help my son. I know you're always with me, but please help me now. Pray for my son and ask God to save him.”

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A few hours had gone by and nobody had moved from the room. Arthur sat on the chair next to the bed with his elbows on his knees, looking straight and focused in on Erik. Bjorn and Hvitserk sat by the fireplace and were wetting some towels so that we could place them atop Eriks head. I sat on the bed next to my son and caressed his beautiful face hoping for a miracle. I had dismissed Sarah and told her to take Marjorie with her, but she would not budge. Sarah left, but Marjorie stayed and sat in Ivars lap asking him if Erik would pull through. Ivar was sweet to answer as best as he could, and I could tell that he truly cared for his children even if his demeanour wasn't the greatest. I knew that deep in my heart I would have to let him get to know them, but it still hurt especially knowing that he now was married. “Wait, where is Freydis? I haven't seen her since yesterday.” I say looking towards Ivar. “I dont know earthier to be honest, she's probably looking at some damn flowers anyway. Its best if she's far away anyway.” “Why would you say that about your wi-” “she's not my wife, at least not yet. Were not actually married, (y/n). I just said that to piss you off.” Taking a deep breath I go to stand up from the bed in order to fetch a bucket of water and some new cloths. Instead I end up on the floor cradling my belly, with a burning sensation in my chest and blood pouring out from my mouth. “(Y/n)! Mama!” I can hear the shouts around me. “Fetch the doctor! Now hurry!” The voices around me begin to fade and not before long I can feel myself drifting away.

“My baby... Save my baby...” And with that everything turns pitch black...

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greennct · 5 years

Text

johnny in a café

look at his lil face in this photo eye- !!!! anyway i love johnny i love cafés here u go i guess :))) i feel like this went on for so long i had to end it where i did, but it seems kind of unfinished to me, so if u want a part ii, lmk! 💞💖💘

(1.8k words, fluff, johnny makes a dick joke, swearing as you can tell lmao)

song rec: coffee break by lucas & jonah nilsson y'all know i had to

To be completely honest, you had never really cared for kpop idols.

Don’t get me wrong, you didn’t have anything against them, you had just always been too busy with your schoolwork to genuinely pay attention to one particular group, and aside from the huge hits which came on at every party, you couldn’t say you knew very much about the industry as a whole. It wasn’t that you disliked them, you just didn’t know enough about kpop to formulate an overall positive or negative opinion.

Maybe that was why your friend Minhyuk tolerated you working in SM’s café. He had scored the job there a few summers ago (”Due to my charming personality and unparalleled good looks,” he had informed you), and you were the only one in your friendship group that he had let in on the secret, presumably because of your indifference towards the company. You had been looking for a place to study in peace close to campus ever since your college days had commenced, and you decided that the café was an adequate spot. Since Minhyuk knew you weren’t concerned with idols’ lives, he was confident you wouldn’t cause trouble, and convinced his manager to let you stay there for hours, so long as you gave him a ride home at the end of his shift.

Although it was usually annoyingly busy, filled with tourists and teenagers attempting to spot their favourite members, and the coffee was watered-down Starbucks-esque bullshit, the seats were comfortable, and walking there took less than five minutes from your lecture hall. As long as you kept your head down, and your headphones in, you found the place was tolerable, and after a while you grew to harbour a small affection for the pink walls (although you never got used to the huge posters of the SM idols boring holes into your forehead that were replaced every week).

Unfortunately, your uninterrupted bliss was not destined to last. The end of your study salvation came in the form of a tall, permanently smirking idol, who suddenly started gangling through the café at least once a week. Whilst most of the idols who frequented the café came through as surreptitiously as they could, cap pulled over their head, mask pulled to the side as they stage-whispered their order, this boy was the complete opposite. Rattling off his group’s order ostentatiously, he made sure to send frequent winks over his shoulder at the fans almost weeing themselves at the sight of the back of his head.

The first time he came down, there were so many squeals you took out your headphones in alarm, afraid the fire alarm had gone off, or there was some other emergency. Fortunately, it was only the boy who had caused the ruckus, and you couldn’t help but to roll your eyes slightly at all the fuss.

This was probably your first mistake.

It seemed no one else in the café had noticed your unimpressed expression, apart from, strangely, the boy himself. To your utter surprise, he sent a wink directly your way, and a finger heart a few seconds later, when he realised that instead of being met with a scream, you had just frowned slightly. The ‘fanservice’ was uncomfortable for you, not only because his sudden attention drew others in the café to look at you, but also because, well to be frank, you had no idea who he was. You didn’t have a clue what he did. For all you knew, he could’ve been a particularly attractive manager the fans had taken a liking to.

Nevertheless, you simply shoved your earphones back in, and got on with the rest of your work. He returned the very next day. This time, the café was less crowded, so though there were still some scattered gasps and shrieks when he walked in, you could keep your headphones in. You made sure to keep your eyes glued on your screen for the duration of his visit, pointedly ignoring him in hopes of avoiding contact with him this time. When he left without acknowledging you, there was a fleeting moment of disappointment. You put it down to lack of sleep.

The boy didn't return for the rest of the week, and to be honest, you kind of forgot about the noisy kpop idol, mind more fixated on your looming midterms. It was only when Minhyuk practically yanked you over the counter the following Thursday morning, that he even crossed your mind again.

“Guess who asked for your name this morning!” He hissed, eyes wide.

It was clear from your deadpan expression you weren’t about to start listing possible culprits, so you were given the answer practically immediately.

“Johnny Seo!” Minhyuk gaped at your blank face. “Okay, I knew your kpop knowledge was bad, but how can you not know who NCT are?!”

Clueless at his indignant expression, you simply scoffed, grabbed your coffee cup from his hands, and sat back down, ignoring his protests, begging to show you “Just one music video!” No matter how curious you were as to who this Johnny might be, as long as you had exams, you did not have time for boys, famous kpop idol or not.

After a few hours of studying, you finally cracked. You reasoned with yourself that surely a quick Google wouldn't hurt during your 15 minute break. 40 minutes, and about 300 open tabs later, you had to admit, he was cute. Somehow he managed to look both sweet and sexy at the same time, exuding the cocky charisma that had irked you the first time you had saw him. You decided he looked less annoying when he wasn’t able to open his mouth. Planning to focus on his group’s discography next break, you were just about to close the browser window when-

“Hey.”

Slamming your laptop shut, in a desperate attempt to hide your browser history, you kept your eyes focused on your shoes. Having just watched an interview, you knew exactly who the voice belonged to.

“Hi, Johnny.”

“Oh, so you do know who I am! Guess you just got a little starstruck last week, huh, babe?”

Your nose crinkled at the sentence. No matter how good-looking Johnny was, there was no bigger turn-off to you than rudeness.

“I had other things to do. Bigger fish to fry and all that.” You kept your tone curt, still avoiding his gaze, unable to trust yourself to not accidentally reveal what you had just been doing for the good part of an hour.

“Pretty sure the biggest fish around here, is uh, standing in front of you, if you know what I mean.”

Your nose crinkled in disgust. Ugh. If you’re going to make a dick joke, at least make it funny, or at least, have some semblance of logic within its reasoning, you thought.

He chuckled, seemingly unfazed that you weren’t joining in with his laughter. “Well, listen, babydoll, I’ve gotta run, star member of the world’s biggest boyband and all that, but why don’t you take this,” he slid a note onto your textbook with a set of digits on it, “And give me a call. Whenever.”

With that, he was gone. You could finally lift your head up. Sighing, you picked up the scrap of paper Johnny had left. There was a fleeting moment when you considered selling the number, but you ended up just tossing it into the bin, pointedly ignoring Minhyuk practically hyperventilating in the corner over the interaction between you two.

Thankfully, Johnny didn’t come in for a few weeks after that. You began to think you were safe. You had realised the boy had started weeping up on you in small ways. You no longer scoffed when you saw billboards with his face on it, started listening to his music when studying, even wondering what he was up to from time to time. As far as you were concerned, the further away Johnny was, the better.

As soon as you began you relax again, Johnny turned up.

“You didn't call.”

He seemed confused, towering over you once again. You considered pretending to have not heard him, after all, you still had your headphones in, but eventually decided it was better to just reject him as early as possible.

“You didn't ask if I was going to. You just gave me your number.” You accused, practically ripping the buds out.

“Well, I didn't think-”

“No. You didn't.” Turning back to your computer, you were about to resume your music, when you realised he was still talking.

“But... Why not?” His voice faltered slightly, though you had no sympathy for him.

You scoffed, twisting in your chair, rolling your eyes right at him. “Because, though it might seem crazy to you, Mr. Seo, not every person on the planet is head over heels in love with you!" Your voice got louder, and you cursed yourself silently for being so easily riled up by him.

To your complete surprise and utter frustration, Johnny simply laughed at your little outburst, previous blip in confidence nonexistent. “Not yet they aren’t.”

You cursed how obvious your blush was. It completely undermined your statement, and both you and Johnny knew it.

He slouched off, sending a lopsided smirk in your direction as you groaned. You were going to have to find a new café.

As much as you hated to admit it, Johnny did start to creep into your thoughts more often. You kept frequenting the café, despite telling yourself that you needed to find a new one, and didn’t care for the tiny shiver of adrenaline every time you heard the gasp of someone recognising an idol. You were surprised to find yourself dismayed as the time started to stretch between Johnny’s last visit.

Running your hands through your hair, you sighed, unable to focus that evening. It had been a stifling afternoon, and since the cafés air-con had broken, you were literally the only customer in the entire building, trapped into waiting until Minhyuks shift ended. Sighing for what felt the the thousandth time today, you read and re-read the introduction to your essay, unable to be productive at all. You were ridiculously distracted by that stupid boy! Maybe you should take another class, you considered, your brain seemed to have a lot more free time than you liked. All you could think about was whether or not Johnny was in the building, whether he forgot you, whether he thought about you, what he was doing right now, why-

“Feeling as sweet as you look, Princess? Because let me tell you, it’s not exactly a pretty sight to-”

This time, upon hearing Johnny’s voice, you were shocked to have to suppress a smile. Distance really did make your heart grow fonder. There was no denying it now. You liked Johnny, the most obnoxious, self-absorbed person you knew.

“Never call me Princess again.” You deadpanned, figuring it was safest to ride out your surely temporary crush on Johnny, until he had moved on and you were safe to study in peace.

“Sure, Princess.” You tried not to notice how nice the word sounded when he said it. “Are you free?”

“What? W- why?” You prayed Johnny hadn’t noticed your stutter.

“Why not? I wanna take you on a date. Nothing’s stopping me.” A pause. “You aren’t nervous, aren’t you?” Of course he had picked up on it.

“Of course not!” You found your voice again.

“Okay, then lets go!” He reached for your hand, as if the matter had been settled.

“Excuse you? I have work! Essays and projects and a million other things that I need to do!” This was a lie. Your latest piece of homework was due in two weeks.

“So what I’m hearing is... later.”

“Whatever.”

“So, that’s a yes!” He whooped, grabbing you out of your chair and spinning you around.

Your face had never been redder in your life. Spluttering, you managed “I didn’t- I wasn't-”

“Oh, but you did! You were! I knew you couldn’t resist me!” Johnny crowed. With that he practically sprinted out of the door, and you were left flushed and wondering what in the world you had just agreed to.

Johnny didn’t come back to the café for another four weeks. You found it morbidly ironic that the when you finally decided that you wanted to see him, he was nowhere to be found. You ended up staying later than you needed to, having finished all your work and instead pottering around on your laptop, glancing around the café every few minutes. However, Johnny started to become more and more elusive. You tried to reason with yourself that since he was an idol, he had an extremely busy schedule, and even if he wanted to take you out, he couldn't. You knew he had a comeback coming out, as the promotional posters for it had been stuck all over the building. Yet as the distance between his last visit stretched longer and longer, you wondered whether you had imagined the boy’s interest after all.

Of course, after all your agonising and pining, you didn’t even notice Johnny when he actually did come into the café. Your headphones were in, as usual, attempting to drown out the boy talking loudly on the phone next to you. A light tap on your shoulder made you jump out of your skin, your terrified expression automatically melting into a smile when you saw who had been the culprit of your shock.

“Johnny!” You beamed.

“Woah, don’t look too happy to see me! I won’t be able to recognise you, from the Ice Princess you were last week.”

Wrinkling your nose slightly, you shot back, trying to distract from your flustered face “Four weeks ago, was the last time you saw me, not last week.”

“Not that you’re counting.” was the cheeky reply.

You chuckled. Touché.

Johnny flipped the chair opposite you backwards, sitting with his two legs resting comfortably on either side of the back of the chair, leaning on it’s top rail with his broad chest. You couldn’t help but notice how endearing his boyishness was.

“So, are you free now, Princess? Still up for the date I was promised?”

“Uhh...” You pretended to check your calendar app. “I guess I could spare an hour or two.”

“Wait, seriously?!” Johnny almost fell of his chair.

“You act as though I didn’t agree to it the first time you asked me.”

“I know, I just didn’t think you were actually serious! I mean,” You raised your eyebrows. “Well, we both know you’re out of my league!” It was his turn to flush. You were shocked by his words.

“You. An idol. A person whose job it is to look attractive. Thinks that I. The most average person you will ever meet. Is out of his league.” Your voice and expression were so deadpan, Johnny leaned over the table to ruffle your head affectionately, giggling.

“You’re hilarious, see? That’s what I’m talking about.”

You stood up, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. “Let's go, Seo.”

“Hey, that rhymed!”

You forgot to roll your eyes, too busy blushing when Johnny brushed your shoulders with his fingertips, wordlessly taking the bag from you and shifting it onto his back instead.

“C’mon, Ice Princess. Let’s go someplace with real food. The coffee here is awful - I only came down here to talk to you, anyway.”

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