✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.

The Magnus Archives/ What We Do In the Shadows (Crossover)

gaslight gatekeep girlboss by thepolysyndetonaddictsupportgroup

"Look, believe it or not, I had no intention of killing the Vampiric Council when I came here,” declares Nadja, sitting alone on the couch. “But Guillermo and I arrived at the first council meeting and did the whole, you know, the whole thing, the first day thing. Introductions and all that, yes hello wonderful to meet you, yes this is my bodyguard, yes he has slaughtered a tremendous number of our kind”--she flaps her hand absently--“normal first day things, you know? It was fine.” She pauses. “It got really fucking weird on the second day."

Or: Nadja and Guillermo seize control of vampiric politics, puppeteer world powers, and have the hottest of hot girl summers.

Unfortunately, they also really miss the stupid assholes they're in love with. With no way left to find them, they have no choice but to consult an Archivist.

DC/Danny Phantom Crossover

Teenage Hero Burnout #56: Interview With A Ghost. by STOVE

Red Robin, (aka Tim Drake) decides to host a YouTube series called "Teenage Hero Burnout'' after he makes a video by the same name talking about his own experiences. He interviews current and past heroes who started their careers as teens and discuss how it shaped their outlook on heroing & life in general.

(This fic is a one-shot. Teenage Hero Burnout is a hypothetical series that I will not be writing, but others are welcome to write their own episodes.)

All For the Game

One More Time (With Feeling) by elesary

Andrew Minyard went to sleep next to Neil Josten in their bed in Denver six years after graduation. He woke up on plane to Tucson between Wymack and Kevin, on their way to recruit Neil Josten, striker sub.

boyfriend privileges by mostly_maudlin

Andrew knows he treats Neil different. So why is it so bothersome that everyone else seems to know it, too?

Five times Neil gets boyfriend privileges, and one time it doesn't piss Andrew off.

SVSSS

The Peace Between Divine Pec- ah-hm sorry - uh…Peaks by AceOfDivineChlorophyll

Well, being kidnapped and tied up had to be the worst part of Shen Qingqiu's day right? Surely it couldn't get worse even if he was being presented to some new and upcoming demonic warlord as tribute after all it would all be mote when Luo Binghe escaped the Endless Abyss right? Well... unless the demonic warlord in question WAS Luo Binghe.

Thankfully... it might not end up going at all how he, or the demons, thought it was going to.

invasive blindfold removal surgery by postcardorigami

Part 1 of side effects may include indefinite photosensitivity

Oh, he thought absently, dizzily. Oh. I love him. I really, really love him.

That wasn’t a new thought—Shen Qingqiu had always known that he loved Luo Binghe. Thinking otherwise wasn’t a concept that had occurred to him. He’d loved him as a fictional character, as a sticky and eager-to-please disciple, as a troubled young man. He loved Luo Binghe the same way he loved the world around him: easily, wordlessly, endlessly, and in full acceptance of all faults and flaws.

But this- this felt like-

I think, Shen Qingqiu thought, for the first time in this life or the one he’d left, I think I’m in love with him.

And- and then-

I want to tell him where I come from.

or Shen Qingqiu, in order: hits the ground, pulls himself back up, and comes out. About several things.

Dreaming of Gardens in the Desert Sand by TGP

Huan Hua Palace master Luo Binghe never thought there'd be any reason to worry about the master that threw him away all those years ago. Surely, he was safe and cared for by the martial siblings he'd so thoroughly enamored.

Luo Binghe was wrong.

(Or, the one where the Jinlan City event doesn't happen and Luo Binghe's plan to slowly show he can be a righteous cultivator actually goes as he expected, with consequences he did not)

starry-eyed by shoutowo

"Shi-Shizun,” Luo Binghe says, going cross-eyed in an effort to see what Shen Qingqiu just placed on his forehead. “What is this?”

“A star,” Shen Qingqiu explains, while not explaining at all.

or, Shen Qingqiu has a sticker sheet.

Clone Wars

(you were) meant to save them by cjwritesfanficnow

The building was only five stories. With the gravity on Melida/Daan, it should’ve been over in seconds... but he—

just—

kept—

falling—

And then there was nothing around him, but he was still falling, down down down, infinitely, through space, stretched thin, twisted and pulled and the Force curled so tightly around him that he couldn’t tell where he ended and it began, and then—

And then he was falling straight out of a clear sky and down down down—

Onto another battlefield.

-

In which Obi-Wan is abruptly transported from the civil war on Melida/Daan to the Clone Wars.

(Alternately, in which I noticed how few clones there are in all my other fics, and this wouldn't leave me alone.)

Tactical Engagements by elwenyere

Even before he managed to open his eyes, Obi-Wan felt the tug against the base of his neck, the snarled thread of energy that only ever meant one thing: something had gone very, very wrong.

-----

Or, Cody, Obi-Wan, and the 212th are sent to Ringo Vinda with Anakin and the 501st, and it changes the field of engagement.

i love you vampire themed media i love you metaphor for queerness i love you blood aesthetic i love you gothic architecture i love you coffin beds i love you cross necklaces i love you canine teeth i love you intimacy hidden in violence i love you vampires

Lil comic from chapter 1 of Alethophobia by @jay-auris! Character designs by the incredible @pejntboks!

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1a. Distant shot from behind a white van parked on a patch of gravel and dirt with its rear doors wide open, pine trees in the distance against a darkening sky. Human Nandor is rummaging around in the equipment in the back of the van, muttering angrily to himself. He is wearing a green flannel with rolled sleeves over a white tee shirt tucked into cut off blue jean shorts, white knee socks, and hiking boots. The side of Guillermo's face appears in closeup in the foreground, looking at him. 1b. Shot from inside the van as Guillermo comes up behind Nandor, both now facing the viewer. Nandor has his graying hair down and hanging messily in his face as he scowls, sweat beading on his forehead. He wears a silver medallion around his neck, orange tasbih prayer beads around his right wrist, has two orbital piercings with silver hoops and a silver conch stud in his left ear, and silver vertical studs on his right eyebrow. He continues glaring at the equipment and shuffling it around with his left hand as he thrusts a camera bag out behind him with his right, snapping, "Leave Laszlo to pack everything like an overgrown child. Here, pull out the extra batteries so I can put them in the actual fucking battery cases we own." Guillermo looks down at the bag in surprise as it is thrust towards him, hands coming up automatically to take it. He is wearing a black tee shirt with a gray symbol on the chest under a sleeveless unzipped dark blue hoodie with red trim, black leggings, red sneakers, a black fidget ring on his right middle finger, and a silver cross around his neck, tucked into the shirt. 1c. Close up of Guillermo as takes the bag and removes the batteries, aiming a concerned look at Nandor as he does so. He asks, "Are you okay?" 1d. Waist up of Nandor from Guillermo's POV as he straightens up and wrestles his hair back into a messy bun with quick, angry motions. Still glaring down at the equipment, he snarls, "I dislike long car rides; I dislike being out of the city;" 1e. Reverse shot, close up of the back of Nandor's head with its painful looking bun in the foreground as he continues, "I dislike laszlo's laissez-faire attitude towards the security of our expensive equipment..." In the background, Guillermo frowns as he observes Nandor's hair.

2a. Repeat. Guillermo interrupts Nandor's venting by pointing toward his hair and asking, "Can I fix that?" Nandor's head in the foreground turns toward him, asking, "Huh?" 2b. Wide shot facing the rear of the van as Guillermo says, "Your hair, just- c'mere." Guillermo takes Nandor by the shoulders, turns him around, and pushes him down to sit on the bumper with a small, unassuming smile. Nandor looks shocked and not a little flustered, shoulders tense under Guillermo's hands. 2c. Close up on Nandor as Guillermo pulls the rubber band from his hair and lets it loose around his shoulders, covering his eyes. Guillermo combs his fingers through the strands and Nandor stills, expression hidden but cheeks going red. 2d. Close up of Nandor's face from the nose down in profile as Guillermo's hands gather his hair behind his shoulders. 2e. Close up of the back of Nandor's head from Guillermo's POV as he pulls all of Nandor's hair together neatly at his crown.

3a. Close up on Nandor's side, elbow to hip, as Guillermo's right hand leaves his head to tap two fingers on Nandor's jeans pocket. Nandor pulls his elbow away in surprise. 3b. Repeat. Nandor's other hand obliges, pulling a second rubber band from his pocket and offering it to Guillermo, who hooks it onto his finger. 3c. Waist up of Guillermo as he steps back with a hesitant grin, hands clasped together at his sternum. He says, "There. Better?" 3d. Close up of Nandor's right hand as it lifts his phone and unlocks it with a thumb. His phone case is a Lisa-Frank-esque close up of a white horse with purple, blue, and pink spots on a backdrop of a blue sky with clouds and a rainbow.

4a. Bust of Nandor as he raises his phone up to take a look at himself in the camera, expression now softened from his earlier frustration. His hair is now twisted up into a neat, round bun at the crown of his head, one stubborn strand loose at his temple. He raises his eyebrows, liking what he sees, and says "Huh. That's very good. How did you do that?" 4b. Zoom out to knees up, Nandor still perched on the bumper of the van. Guillermo stuffs his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and leans back against one of the van doors, flushed and grinning as he aims his gaze elsewhere. With a humble shrug, he replies, "Sister taught me. She said that if I wanted to impress a girl one day, I should learn how to do basic styles." Nandor lowers his phone and drapes that arm over his raised knee, left hand palming the other to balance himself as he turns his torso towards Guillermo with a grin. He says, "Well, color this girl impressed." /end ID

They key to the mockumentary format is not the talking head segments, but the overdramatic zooms on iconic facial expressions as the most deadpan person in the room rolls their eyes or stares directly at the camera. Nothing establishes an audience connection/comedic sensibilities better

Rating show names based on their accuracy (+ thoughts):

based on this post

Community: they sure are a community. a community of mentally ill community college students who definitely all need therapy. also very gay.

The Great: catherine ii is great, peter iii sucks. kinda horrific at times, but cool story.

Suits: haven’t watched much of it. i know they do wear suits and that the main two guys have a weird relationship. megan markle and the woman who plays donna are cool.

The Office: they work in an office. jokes did not age well, but also a lot were offensive at the time of airing. funny though, and influential.

Parks and Recreation: i mean i guess they talk about parks and recreation a little bit, but honestly not as informational as you might expect.

Shameless: yeah i don’t think that family has any shame.

The Magicians: the are magicians, but most importantly they are all mentall i’ll

New Girl: she’s new, she’s a girl. it fits

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: nope. it’s pretty dark.

Mythic Quest: there’s really no quests nor are there any myths. but i do love danny pudi so i watched it.

Ted Lasso: yep, that’s the main characters name.

Supernatural: let’s hope that’s all just the supernatural and not real

The Rise of the Pink Ladies: pretty good. sad it got canceled and taken off streaming though

Good Omens: not really. i think these people always got another coming at them as soon as the defeat the previous one.

What We Do in the Shadows: not really shadows, but it isn’t a super well lit show.

9-1-1: these bitches always got something wrong with them

9-1-1 Lone Star: same as the last but country

Modern Family: these people were still making the same damn mistakes as people were 20 years before. good show though.

The X-Files: i’m going to guess it’s pretty accurate. i’m pretty new to the show though.

six characters that remind you of me! 💕

I think it is so funny when a comedy show inspires the most serious fanfic ever known to man. like it’s always sunny is such a funny show- BOOM frank died and everyone has to cope. what we do in the shadows is about silly vampires- NAH, nandor is gonna kill himself if he can’t be human again. parks and rec is so sweet- NOPE, leslie is battling a terminal illness and no one knows.

what we do in the shadows spotify playlists!

links:

nadja. laszlo. nandor. guillermo. colin robinson.

nadja & laszlo. vamp polycule. nandermo.

please like (heart) my playilsts on spotify if you like them!

Marks and Rec: Misc #2447

(Dialogue from What We Do In the Shadows.)

DOES ANYONE JAVE ANY WWDITS FIVS THAT ARENT NANDERMO CENTERED?! I LOVE NANDERMO AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY SURE BUT I WANT SEANLO PINING, GUILLERMO STRUGGLING WITH HIS LOSS OF BABY COLIN, LASDJA RELATIONSHIP (THE UPS AND THE DOWNS, THE NIGHTLY CUDDLES AND THE FIGHTS OVER LACK OF COMMUNICATION) I WANT POLYCULE FICS AND LASZERMO AND QUEER PLATONIC BESTIES NADJA AND GUILLERMO AND THE GUIDE AND COLING BEING IMPORTANT PLOT RELEVANT CHARACTERS!!!

willingly walked into the circus to get clowned. i don’t know what i expected.

Shadows AU rec list

I was talking to someone the other day about AUs in the Shadows fandom, so I wanted to provide a lil rec list of AU fics. This is not in any way comprehensive, and I was pretty hard line about my definition of AU, but here ya go!

Also, I mostly read E, so someone else should do a lower rated version.

Completed Multi-Chap

Violet Hill by DbCoopersKeychain  E - 136,589 words - Vampire Blacksmith Nandor and Baker Guillermo 

as below, so above by ghostoftonantzin E - 31,203 words - Rape/Non-Con - Serial Killer Nandor kidnaps Guillermo and locks him in the basement till Stockholm Syndrome kicks in

Ranch N’ Rider Weekly: Special Edition by yougoadedme E - 36,058 words - Cowboy Nandor and Cowboy Guillermo

Superhero AU (series) by ghostoftonantzin E - 10,502/10,164 words - Superhero Nandor and Office Guillermo

Guillermo the Heartless by HeartlessMemo E - 81,836 words - Rape/Non-Con - Guillermo is a vampire and Nandor is a rather abused human familiar

WIPs

true love, one way or another by ghostoftonantzin  E - 15,906 words (as of Dec 13, 2023) - Graphic Depictions of Violence - Ex-Military Nandor stalks Popstar Guillermo

You Have Bewitched Me, Fangs and Blood by seaandsky E - 78,691 words (as of Dec 13, 2023) - Vampire Nandor and Trained Slayer Guillermo Pride & Prejudice retelling

hounds of love by andiforyou E - 103,390 words (as of Dec 13, 2023) - Erotica Writer Nandor and Priest Guillermo fall in love over Nandor’s book

Love Cake by burnseternally, ChaoticSmirk  E - 104,441 words (as of Dec 13, 2023) - Baker Guillermo and Office Nandor (with a very cute family)

Alethophobia by Jay Auris (nighthawkms) M - 149,937 words (as of Dec 13, 2023) - Nandor and Guillermo are part of a camera crew working on a documentary

Scenes from an Alliance by Interrobam M - 152,563 words (as of Dec 13, 2023) - Vampire Warlord Nandor and Professional Slayer Guillermo enter a political marriage

a song of love from long ago by returnofthelu M - 5,050 words (as of Dec 13, 2023) - follows the plot of the musical Hadestown, Hades Nandor and Persephone Guillermo fall in and out of love

Necromancer's Guide to Seed Extraction (4th Edition) by Inadmissable Not Rated (E) - 30,293 words (as of Dec 13, 2023) - Vampire Nandor and Semen-Stealing Witch Guillermo

One-Shots

i need you baby, to warm the lonely night by Jay Auris (nighthawkms)  E - 2,920 words - Guillermo and Nandor meet (sexily) after a luggage mishap at a wedding

too fine to fondle by andiforyou  E - 6,560 words - Guillermo and Nandor are contestants on a sexy reality TV show

evviva il coltello by ghostoftonantzin E - 7,035 words - Ottoman Warrior Nandor and Castrato Guillermo (it totally works)

Executive Mentality by Interrobam  E - 3,737 words - Closeted CEO Nandor and Professional Dom Guillermo

i've been dreaming of a true love's kiss by Jay Auris (nighthawkms)  E - 22,851 words - follows the plot of the movie Enchanted, Magical Prince Nandor and Downtrodden New Yorker Guillermo

Fake Wings by cookinguptales  E - 12,794 words - Wingfic

the lion's devotion (the lamb's downfall) by UnfortunatelyObsessed M - 20,988 words - Vampire Nandor comes to confess to Priest Guillermo

I’ve Got You Under My Skin by returnofthelu M - Vampire Pirate Nandor and Selkie Guillermo

Support me on Patreon or send a tip on Kofi!

A commission from andieandiiandee(@TikTok) based on chapter 14 of “Hounds of Love” by @andiforyou!! ❤️

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1. Waist up of human Nandor dressed in a chainmail shirt with chest plating, a silver sword dangling from his left ear, a brown leather belt, and a brown leather baldric over his shoulder attached to a real sword at his hip. His hair is half up, twin braids from his temples forming a bun at the crown of his head and held in place by a leather clasp threaded with a stick. He is leaning against a doorframe, arms crossed, and staring offscreen with hooded eyes and a small smile, a pink heart floating by his face. 2. What Nandor is looking at. Waist up of Jeremy and Guillermo from the back as they chat idly, the vague idea of a coat rack in front of them. Jeremy is wearing long white robes. Guillermo, half turned toward Jeremy with a smile as they chat, is making motions to shrug off his puffy winter coat. 3. Extreme closeup of Nandor's eyes as they fly open in shock, cheeks flushing red. 4. Close up of Guillermo in profile, from the bridge of his nose to just below his chest, as he shrugs his coat off to reveal his bare shoulder and arm in a plain black tank top, a golden chain around his neck disappearing into the shirt. His right hand, wearing a leather glove, pulls out a piece of black fabric with a dotted white design. 5. Hips up of Guillermo from Nandor's POV on a glowing pink background, surrounded by golden sparkles, as he drops the coat completely and throws a poncho over his shoulders to complete his outfit. He is paused in motion, eyes downcast, pink mouth pursed, arms raised chest-high as the poncho flutters into place around his shoulders. It is black and translucent, decorated with a silver beadwork pattern of spiderwebs. The end of the poncho hits right at his waist line, edges scalloped like bat wings with silver pearls adorning each peak. Four short makeshift spider legs are sewn to the bottom of his tank top, two on each side. In the background are pink-tinted close ups in Nandorvision: the flex of Guillermo's bicep, the stretch of his fingers beneath the glove, and the roll of his back and stomach beneath the tight tank top as his arms stretch overhead. 6. A pink-tinted Nandorvision fantasy: full body of Nandor and Guillermo in their current outfits as Nandor grabs Guillermo at the waist and dips him, knee pressing forward between his legs and head dipped to mouth at his neck. Guillermo's arms are looped around Nandor's shoulders and he is smiling blissfully, hearts floating around his head, cheeks flushed as he tilts his head to allow Nandor access to his throat. His left leg hitches around Nandor's hip as Nandor's right hand creeps beneath the hem of his tank top. 7. Shoulders up of the real Nandor, staring slackjawed at the visions before him, cheeks flushed red and eyes wide, irises gone pink to reflect where his mind is at. 8. Small corner panel of Nandor, chest up and casting a shadow on a sparkly pink background as he comes back down to earth. He blushes, flustered, and closes his eyes with resignation, thinking to himself: "I'm going to be beating suitors away with a stick..." /end ID

My thoughts recently...

It’s time for another patented…

PartTimeSarah Random GIF Drop™

the blind leading the blind | T | 1.6k (Chapters: 1/1)

Nandor tries to work through his anger regarding Guillermo's turning and betrayal, with most of the familiar's items being collateral damage in the process. Most of them.

This is about Nandor finding Guillermo's glasses while he destroys his room <3