#wrote this in one sitting im gonna go pass out now gn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovesickeros · 8 months

Text

☆ even the gods bleed

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood, injury, light angst {☆} word count 2.3k

What was justice?

Focalors had asked herself that question many times during the long nights she spends awake pouring over the prophecy of a dead God, words replaying in her mind like a broken record until the sun rose like a blooming flower.

She was the God of Justice, an Archon, yet she herself lacked the answer to such a simple and yet so very complex question.

How does one define what is just and what is not? How does she know that what she believes to be just is right? Is it justice if one being alone may sway the scales of justice on a whim? What justice is there to be found in the cold, watery grave that awaits her nation?

She does not know.

Perhaps she may never know.

What she does know, at least, is that this is not justice.

It is a mockery of it.

She stands before the bloodied, broken body like the judge, her sword held so tightly in her hand her fingers feel stiff, a dull ache adding to the weight of what she's seen. For a long, horrible moment she almost thinks they are dead – something she would have reveled in, only a day prior – before she sees the subtle rise and fall of their chest. Breathing, but barely.

The rain felt heavier upon her shoulders at the realization – she was not sure if it was in relief or horror.

Her nails dig into her palm, mind stuck somewhere between that abject horror and confusion so palpable she swore she could hear the gears in her head turning.

For a long, silent moment as she stares upon the body beneath the heavy rain..she wonders if this is how it all ends instead. If the world itself will simply crumple in on itself and cease – without its heart, it will wither, after all – long before the waters ever swallow her nation whole.

Because, try as she might to rationalize it, for every drop of rain that hits her like pins and needles, soaking her down to the bone..the body of the imposter is completely dry. Even the water pooling along the stones dares not to leave so much as a splotch against their ragged, torn clothes.

She remembers the meeting so very clearly, and she thinks she is a fool to not have noticed sooner – the Creator upon their gilded throne, finger pointed in accusation at the visage far too similar to their own. The imposter. She remembers the lilt of their voice as they called for their death as easily as one would speak of the weather – and to no one other then herself would she admit the spark of fear it had ignited within her. Because beneath the divine charade there was a sick enjoyment in the way they looked upon the imposter – like a bug beneath their shoe.

She understands, now.

She had thought that perhaps finally – finally – she could do right by her people, by her Creator, if she rid Teyvat of this..intrusion.

Now she sees herself as what it all really is – blind lambs following the herder.

Perhaps she would be considered a heretic under the eyes of the law – beneath the weight of justice, heavy as the heart that bears its sins. Perhaps this is a mistake, one she would come to regret.

But for now, she sheathes her blade with unsteady hands, the sound making her ears ring – for what she had almost done, what she had already done – as she stumbles like a newborn lamb towards the broken body of..

..What, exactly? Human? Divine? She is not so sure what to call them. Creator? No. The name is bitter upon her tongue, now, burning like liquid flame down her throat.

Where once she had spoken it in reverence and admiration, it felt hollow and empty, now.

Her vision wavers as she kneels down against the rain soaked stones, the rain upon her back growing heavier as she reaches a shaky hand forth – and for a moment, however brief, she feels the weight of expectation, of a title she fears she may never live up to, wash away with the waters that fall from the heavens.

The bruises and blood smeared across their skin are like strokes of a paintbrush, their body the canvas from which such horrid art is created. It makes her ill.

Doubt wavers her composure briefly – her position is already unsteady. She has never been seen as an equal to many of the other Archons. Her own people do not see her as their Archon, but an actor in a grand play that they shall simply toss aside and replace like a broken doll the moment she bores them.

What does she have left to lose?

She reaches out again, her hand settling onto their shoulder and turning them onto their back. She..isn't sure what to do, actually. She's never been particularly physically capable – she tended to avoid fights, even if she oft provoked them – and she was certainly no healer.

Yet what choice does she have but to march on anyway? She is in the heart of the city, it is far more dangerous here then anywhere else..she had little time to make her move.

Fontaine was, after all, a nation founded on the principle of justice. To know an injustice has been made against the most Divine..the entire nation was in a frenzy.

Her eyes dart around nervously, hands clasped tight on their shoulders and her lips drawn into a taut line – someone would notice her absence. One of the Archons would point out her absence in the coordination of the search.

Her options were just as limited as her time – she couldn't just take them out of the city. Security was tight, and as much as she fancied herself an escape artist – Neuvillette could hardly keep her in one place for too long – she doubted she could do the same with the limp body of the imposter in tow.

..The Palais Mermonia it was, then.

Her room had a secret entrance that few knew about, and even fewer would dare to traverse. She just..had to hide them there for a bit and hope Neuvillette wouldn't notice anything different.

Probably.

Still, there was the problem of actually..transporting the body. As grim as it sounded. Her only solace was the fact she didn't have to worry about them catching a cold, at least, and their breaths were still audible, if only barely. So she had to resort to some..unexpected methods.

Seeing the limp form of, well, the imposter – she'd really have to ask for something else to call them when they woke up – stuck in a bubble of hydro wasn't exactly on her bucket list.

Then again, neither was treason.

Well, first time for everything, right?

It wasn't breaking the law if no one else knew about it.

..Neuvillette didn't have to know about it, really. It was fine.

She could, of course, technically try to talk some sense into Neuvillette – he'd listen to her, right? She thought she was pretty close with him..but he was also the one person more obsessed with justice then she was. Such a stickler for the law..so maybe she's breaking a few, it's fine.

But he was also pretty devout, as much as he tried to keep his worship private – with Focalors around, nothing was really secret. Maybe she could get him to settle down long enough to prove it.

..How was she going to prove it?

An exaggerated groan escaped her lips as she led the bubbled imposter – she really wished she didn't have to resort to that, it would be a lot a more awkward to explain then dragging the body around – through the winding streets of Fontaine. She's just glad she's already memorized the entire city like the back of her hand..and a little dramatics went a long way. People listened when the Hydro Archon spoke, and she was suddenly very, very glad for that fact, even if they treated her more like a mascot then a God.

And partially because she, maybe, just a little..stole a few documents detailing the layout and a little personal exploration of her own – but what Neuvillette didn't know couldn't hurt him!

After what felt like hours, though was really no more then half an hour at best, she'd managed to drag herself – soaked to the bone with rain – and the conveniently bubbled imposter up through the secret entrance and into her room.

The perceived safety, as flimsy as it was, was..comforting. Until she heard the rustle of fabric, the clearing of a throat and the pop of a bubble as she, in her surprise, popped it – and then the thud of the imposter hitting the floor.

She felt a bit of regret about that part, at least, wincing.

"Lady Furina." His voice was as sharp and cool as she remembered it always being – like fresh spring water, she'd heard it described. Soothing. It did not feeling very soothing right about now.

She turned sharply on her heel, a forced smile tugging at her lips on reflex, every muscle in her body tensed – she probably looked like a wet cat right about now, soaked with rain, but that was the last thing on her mind.

"Do you mind explaining what, exactly, you did?" Not what you're doing, she notes – what she did. He was mad. Oh, she was really in for a scolding now. She twiddled her thumbs, laughing weakly, though it quickly dies out at the awkward, tense silence.

"Well, you see – it's rather complicated! I can– I can explain." Her attempts to diffuse are met with a raised brow and the sharp tap of his cane. Every single thought is plagued with the urge to run, but the unsteady breathes of the 'imposter' keep her rooted in place. "Well?"

She was sweating bullets, her nails digging into her palm as she scrambled for any excuse that could warrant her not getting hauled off and scolded thoroughly at best – she was coming up empty. How was she supposed to prove that the 'imposter' was very much not what the 'Creator' said they were? Their unconscious body was doing no one any favors, certainly.

"The Creator is lying," She blurts out, immediately regretting her impulsiveness when she feels the sudden weight of his stare – the piercing hues of his eyes that remind her just who is the strongest between them. It is not her, she knows. It never has been. "You can see for yourself! Don't you trust me, Neuvillette–?"

Her voice is cut off by the sharp click of his cane as he strides across the room in only a few steps, his height making her feel like a child about to scolded. She hated it, but she grit her teeth through the exchange. She reminded herself that this was for the sake of the 'imposter' and any affront to her ego was..tolerable.

To her credit, too, she didn't immediately lash out when she saw him poke at their body with his cane, turning them onto their back – she wanted too, though. She considered it, but the thought was quickly shot down when his stare turned back upon her, and she felt frozen in place again, her tongue a heavy weight in her mouth.

Yet she couldn't shake the sudden tenseness to his shoulders, his brows furrowed and a distant look to his eyes. It was..haunting, in a way.

She knows it well, she realizes. The realization and acceptance, the crumbling of every solid foundation you've ever known – leaving you to flounder in the waves, alone and afraid.

The gentleness in which he picks up the limp body surprises her though, his cane set aside. The rain howls like a horrid storm outside, but she cannot focus on anything but the furrow of their brows, the soft noise that escapes their lips.

"I trust that you know that this must stay between us," His voice is soft, like the gentle lap of waves against the shore, as he sets their body down against the bed, his hand lingering against their cheek with something almost like reverence – and if her eyes do not deceive her, affection. "Lady Furina."

She does not hesitate to agree.

"Well– well of course!" She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning at the feeling of her wet clothes clinging to her skin, a heavy weight that feels like it's dragging her down. "Just what do you take me for?"

He doesn't deign to respond.

It only makes her fume more.

Not that he seems to notice, unbuttoning his heavy outerwear and tossing it on the bed, rolling up his sleeves and focusing on the injured– er..yeah, she really needed a new name for them. Calling them imposter felt wrong.

"So long as you understand, then we will have no problems." She huffs again, pouting and puffing up her cheeks, sitting down on the other end of the bed with only an occasional glance towards him as he worked at peeling away the ragged clothes and examining the injuries marring their skin.

She suddenly felt out of place.

..What was she supposed to be doing?

As if noticing her sudden quietness, Neuvillette sighed, his back turned to her though his attention very much falling upon her. She really hated the feeling like she was being dissected whenever he looked at her. It was unnerving. She doesn't know how anyone else handles it..

"If you are so eager to do something, Lady Furina, then please have something brought up for when our..guest awakens. They will need to recover their strength."

Finally! Something she can do. She perks up, her heels clicking on the floorboards as she darts out like a bullet, unable to stay still for so much as a moment.

Neuvillette, for his part..

Feels an odd sense of serenity as he stares upon the troubled features of the..guest. A peace that lessens the burdens upon his shoulders, the weight of a nation upon his back.

He cannot hear the rain, anymore.

..It must have stopped.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #imposter au #focalors #furina #neuvillete #a family can be a dragon an archon and his 300 other children who reverse adopted him #u date him its a package deal sorry #u now have like 300 children g-dspeed #also tagged spoilers on neuvi's part bc its kinda a spoiler??? sort of #also this can be read as platonic or romantic on neuvi's part #can u tell i like focalors btw :)#also gonna be swapping between focalors/furina bc SOMEONE sent me a theory and it sent me spiraling im gonna be ill #u know who u r and ur days r numbered #can be read as romantic between reader & neuvi but only bc i know focalors rubs it in his face she found the actual creator first #anyway can u tell focalors is my fav pt2 i wont shut up abt her its terminal atp #focalors..................#anyway *doesnt post fr months. randomly drops a 2k word fic. leaves and doesnt elaborate*#starts out v serious ends v silly #wrote this in one sitting im gonna go pass out now gn

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f1nalboys · 3 years

Note

*deep breath* Okay OKAY SO...polyghostface ofc but Im feeling f l u f f y so maybe something where Billy, Stu, and F! Or GN!reader are all pining for each other? Like their inner thoughts and maybe realizing oh shit Im in love with two people god theyre both so perfect for me fuck. And feelings come out one day hanging in stu's room? Some smut if you feel like it, but if not the just that!

couldn't find a good point to get in some smut so i apologize BUT i really laid the fluff on there so i hope that makes up for it!!!

Poly!Ghostface x GN!Reader

WORD COUNT: 1593

WARNINGS: fluff, cursing, lowkey domestic poly ghostface, friends to lovers

Surprisingly, it was Billy who realized his feelings for the two of you first. He and Stu had been together for a few months at this point, exclusive but nothing official. You, on the other hand, were just a friend. A really close, cool, funny, hot, platonic friend. His feelings, something he tended to just shove down until a better moment to handle them (which happened to be never) hit him like a bag of bricks 2 months, 1 week, 6 days, and 4 hours ago.

He still isn’t sure why that was when he realized his feelings, either. Thinking back on it, Billy clearly had a crush on you long before then, but it took this miniscule and almost forgettable moment to realize it. Stu was supposed to be the dumb one, not him.

You and he were in his living room sprawled out onto the floor. He had a huge project due for his English 301 class and, in typical Billy fashion, completely forgot about starting it until three days before. “Remind me again how much notice you had on this shit?” You ask, scrunching your eyebrows together in mock annoyance. Billy sighs and feels his cheeks heat up.

“...A month and a half.” You bark out a laugh and he flips you off, the corner of his lip upturned. “Shut it. I just… forgot that it was a thing. And besides, now that you owe me some help, I’ll get it done in no time!”

“You’re cashing that favor in on this project?” You really were confused about that part. Billy knew that if he had just asked you would've dropped anything and hauled ass to his place to help him free of charge. You shrug. “Whatever floats your boat. Now,” You sit up and scoot closer to Billy, holding a pile of papers with his chicken-scratch on it and dropping it in front of him. You place a hand onto his knee and for some reason Billy can feel his stomach ache. Not in a bad, I’m-gonna-hurl way, but in a good way. “Can you tell me what the hell you wrote? I can’t read your handwriting for shit.”

Something about that moment flipped the switch in Billy’s head. The only logical explanation for him to feel that way after something so… innocent was that he was in love with you. That, or he was coming down with a bug. He wasn’t sure which one he’d prefer, honestly. He fought back the idea of liking you until it was well past two am and you had passed out on the couch.

A sticky note was stick to the side of your face and there was a thin line of drool sliding down your cheek but fuck, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think you looked cute. There was something so mind-numbingly domestic about this that just had his head reeling. “I like you.” He whispered it softly, his eyes trained on your sleeping form, testing the words. They sounded nice.

You were the next one to realize your feelings for the two men. Surprisingly, you realized it at the exact same time; they had come over your house to comfort you. You had been talking to them for the last two nights about this date you were supposed to go on, your first one in a long time, but when you had gotten to the restaurant and sat for almost an hour, you realized that you had been stood up. A part of you didn’t want to answer their texts asking how the date was going. It was humiliating.

But you knew them and while, yes, they were often assholes, you knew they wouldn’t make fun of you for this. Not with how fucking awful you were feeling. You called them as you got out of the restaurant, tears flowing freely, and you could hear the seriousness in their voice when they asked where you were.

They met you at your house, staying on the phone with you until they saw you face to face, and Stu pulled you in for a bone crushing hug. “Fuck, Y/N, you alright?” He asks with his chin resting on top of your head. Billy had come up and grabbed your belongings from you, putting them in their place while Stu walked you into the living room.

“Yeah...no. No, I’m not,” You said, your voice cracking. The two men wrapped their arms around you and held you, nothing more. They let you cry, only breaking the silence to whisper soothing things into your ear. It was nice. When you finished you were exhausted and they knew it. “M’sorry for making you guys come all the way out here.”

“Stop apologizing.” Billy snapped and Stu nodded in agreement. Billy grabbed your hand and laced his fingers in yours, squeezing your hand tightly. All you could do was look at him, really look at him, as he spoke. “You’re our friend, Y/N. We love you and we fucking hate seeing you hurt, especially because of some piece of shit asshole. You didn’t make us do anything, we chose to come here because we love you. Now, go get changed into comfy clothes because we’re gonna watch the goriest, shittiest 60’s movie I can think of to make you feel better.”

Stu nods, kissing your shoulder in a soothing act, one that had you leaning into his touch ever so slightly. “Yeah! Have you ever seen us do shit we didn’t want to?”

And it worked. Billy’s rousing speech had you getting changed within minutes and when you came back out into your living room the two men had set about their own tasks. Billy was creating a fort using your dining room chairs and blankets, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth as he set it up. Stu was in the kitchen singing along to the radio, filling in the words he didn’t know with loud noises. He was getting popcorn and drinks together, even making you his ‘world famous’ nachos that he only made when he deemed the situation ‘insane, sad, or happy’ enough for one.

That’s when you realized. You knew you loved them, but up until now, you always thought the warm feeling that filled your chest when you were with them was just the kind that friends get around other friends. But this, the way your heart was thumping and how you couldn’t stop from smiling at the utter kindness they were showing you? That was love.

Stu was the last one to realize, but not because he never knew. In all honesty, he had just assumed you and Billy felt the same way about him that he felt about you and never considered the alternative that maybe your feelings weren’t as strong as his. He was watching you and Billy talk about… something and he felt himself get all fuzzy inside.

That’s not how friends feel about each other. Friends aren’t supposed to think about friends’ lips against their own, they’re not supposed to think about their friends' moans, and they’re DEFINITELY not supposed to think about their friends' bodies. And that’s all Stu was doing/ He thought about more innocent stuff when it came to both you and Billy obviously, but he’d be lying if he said his thought’s had never once been plagued by the image of all three of your bodies together.

And now here you all were, eating dinner in silence, each thinking about the other two in the most romantic, sickly sweet way possible, all while thinking the other two didn’t feel the same way. Stupid, really. Ask anyone else and they’d tell you they really did think the three of you were together with how you were attached at the hip and how the three of you got these big doe eyes and wide smiles when you talked about the others.

Something you said had the boys reeling. It took a solid three minutes before anyone spoke again and when they did, the two men were blurting out love confessions. It was pretty cute seeing them all nervous and fidgety, especially once they realized that the other was saying the exact same thing as them. “So… who do you choose?”

It was Stu who asked and the room fell silent again, both men staring at you, their gaze intense. It was enough to have you shifting in your chair. “Uhm… I’m not choosing between you two.” Billy and Stu visibly deflate. “No! No, I’m saying I’m not picking between you two. I kind of… I kind of like you both and if we’re going to do this, y’know, date or whatever, I was thinking all three of us could try it.”

“Both of us?” Billy asked before turning to look at Stu. They had been together before and you knew that, so it wasn’t a question of being with another man. They just had never once considered the possibility of adding you into the relationship. “I mean.. I’m cool with that, yeah,” He says with a grin, trying to act nonchalant about all this. Stu on the other hand made no attempt to hide his excitement.

“Score! I get to date two hot pieces of ass?”

You groan playfully, tossing your head back slightly. “Don’t make me change my mind, Stuart.”

“Ouch! The first name; you’re in troubleeeeee,” Billy teased, leaning over to you and kissing your cheek gently. Yeah, you could get used to this.

#thirsting4slashers masterlist #thirsting4slashers works #thirsting4slashers writing #thirsting4slashers answers #slashers #scream #scream 1996 #billy x stu x reader #billy loomis #stu macher #billy loomis x stu macher x reader #poly!ghostface x reader #poly!ghostface #slasher x reader #slasher x y/n #slasher headcanon #slasher fic #slasher oneshot

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a-dumb-simp · 4 years

Note

Hey! I have a request that might be triggering, there aren't any rules I could find but please forgive me if I have not looked hard enough. May i please have headcanons of the demon brothers finding mc (gn) unconscious from suicide attempt? It's okay if it's not doable as I know the struggle, please take care of yourself in these tough times. I wish you well. Love, anon.

⚠️TW⚠️

IM BACK

Also I'm gonna leave these a bit open ended and maybe make something else with it later!

It's perfectly okay! Personally I find a lot of peace in asks like this or reading fics/headcannons with angst because I love the emotions themselves and the coping process!

Thank you for the ask, I haven't done anything in over 2 weeks so this kinda helped me get back on track and I hope you have a lovely day!

⚠️The more I wrote the more into I got, so it just progressively gets more and more gruesome and horrible! So warning⚠️

Each have a different form of suicide

Lucifer

Self harm

He was waking back from a meeting with Dia when he found you

He went to check on all his brothers, and you in your rooms

Yours was the first he entered, he had missed you that day and felt bad he couldn't say goodbye in his rush to leave

He of course knocked on your door gently and found it odd when it pushed open with his touch

He almost left

He almost turned around, assumed you were still a bit angry about the morning

But he missed you

He started to walk faster to the other side of the room where the bathroom connects

He saw the light on, and again knocked, maybe you were just in the shower and couldn't hear him before he came in?

Again no response

He was genuinely worried

You're a fragile human for fuck sake, you can't survive here without him...

He frantically got out his key and pushed the door open, only to find you

In the elegant pristine silver bathroom, covered in your blood.

You body twisted and a look of pain and fear in your tense muscles, nearly looking asleep during a nightmare

He stood shocked for a moment, all his memories of Lilith subconsciously coming back, his memories of seeing the blood and pain on his brothers faces after the fall.

He reached for you without noticing

His eyes filling with tears and not breathing

finally got a hold of your wrist and felt the warmth in your body

You blood smearing around his fingers

It gave him hope and shocked him back to where he was

He calmly picked you up, didn't let his tears fall and walked you to his room

He bandaged your wrists tight and secure, and sat by the bed reading a book

He couldn't even bring himself to wipe the blood off his hands forever staining the pages with this memory, with you

He couldnt get passed the first page, not be able to concentrate for a minute on anything

Once again he was lost

And he refused to let anyone in again, he couldn't take it

Mammon

Hanging

He had a modelling shoot and left you at home by yourself, he never regrets anything more

He was walking back into the house his sunglasses falling off his nose as he yelled for you

As he walked in his glasses completely slipped off his face

He attempted to grab them on instinct but just dropped them immediately

He ran to you

Your body limp and slightly swaying from the ceiling, he reached for your arms and pulled you down

He would give up everything he owned at this moment for you to be okay

He gently laid you down on you bed and looked you over

Thankfully you were still breathing, albeit rough with a minor hitch

You were okay

He couldn't stop repeating it

He reached out to touch the mark now deepening in shade on your neck and moved back like it burned him

The rope burn only searing in his mind what had happened

did he cause this?

did he make you want to leave so badly?

He can't stand to just sit in this silence

He ran and told Lucifer and immediately walked out of the house

He had no idea where he was going but he couldn't be there without your voice

He couldn't be there

Leviathan

Overdose

He had left his room for the first time since yesterday

You usually cane to join him and sit with him when he got a new game so you could still enjoy each others company but you didn't

He noticed pretty early on but thought maybe you were just busy

He decided to take a small break, something he would only do for you, and found you in your room

You were convulsing on the floor with a puddle of blood around your mouth

A pill bottle rolled back and forth, recently dropped from you hand

Eye slightly rolled back and whimpering

Small twitches in your hands and legs

He just fell

He fell to his knees and screamed

Scrambled on the floor to grab you

He felt so helpless and knew it was unfair that he couldn't do anything

He screamed until his throat burned and he was hyperventilating

More blood came up and couldn't help but cry

His brother of course heard and Lucifer came running in

He took your body running to get you to either Solomon or Diavolo, maybe even a human hospital

while Levi struggled in Mammons arms

He just wanted to help, it was unfair he couldn't help you

It was all his fault really if he had just checked on you earlier

If he hadn't been a disgusting piece of shit and somehow put a game over you

If he had just maybe never met you

Never saw you again

That would help right? He's the one that made you do that yourself...right?

Mammon was the one to carry him back to his room when he passed out from the panic attack

Satan

Gunshot

He had anger issues and you knew that

Dammit you knew that going into this relationship

So why when he found you with a gun to your head did you say you couldn't take it anymore?

Did you mean him? Did you mean that you couldn't take him anymore?

He understood to some degree he truly did, he just wished you were pointing the gun at his head instead of yours.

He grabbed your arm right before you pulled the trigger and the shock of the bullet hitting the mirror behind you caused you to pass out

He caught your body and felt the overwhelming rage again, but he couldn't actually feel it

He was numb to whatever else he felt other than regret

Because obviously you regret him, you regret this, what you have

He couldn't find any other reason

other than him

So he picked up the gun

Spun the fucking chamber and pulled it to his chest

He would have done the same as you but he felt it was more fitting to be shot through the chest

His heart stopping would be better for you right? This would be best for you!

Lucifer found him, and kicked the gun from his hand

Satan didn't even put up a fight, he just slumped to the floor

And let Lucifer carry both yours and his bodies elsewhere

He didn't care

Asmodeus

Drowning

He went to take a relaxing bath, he had a tiresome day with all those people flirting with him

He saw you at the small party at the beginning but got somewhat lost in the eyes of Solomon, they had fun of course but he would always be loyal to you

It was just a bit of harmless fun, right?

He got ready, put on calming music and opened the door to his luxurious bathroom

Only to find you already in the water

At the bottom of the tub

Turning blue

He didn't hesitate to pull you out

Already screaming questions and accusations at you as he realised you were already passed out

You were cold in his arms shivering and twitching constantly

He started doing CPR as he screamed for his brothers

He did mouth to mouth and all he could think was that he hoped this wasn't your last kiss

He couldn't let you go like this

The image of you in his bath sunken and blue, cold and icy sent more chills up his spine

He didn't even notice his older two brothers rushing in, taking you from him until he woke up a couple hours later

He wanted to find you he wanted to search for you, he wanted to apologize because he knew what he had done but all he could do was stare at his wall and cry

For once he let himself fall again, fuck his beauty he just wanted you

He had nothing left except himself and right now he felt as cold as you own body had

Beelzebub

Falling

I'm so sorry

He came back from the gym ready for you to attack him with hugs and was confused at first why you didn't

He instead gathered some snacks for you, assuming you had a bad day and wanted to make you happy :)

He got to his room and still couldn't find you, every day you two would come back here and hang out so what happened?

He heard his phone go off and was going to ignore it but thought it might be you

fuck he almost wished he would have ignored it

”I’m sorry, I love you, I know this is going to hurt both of us but I'm done. Goodbye.”

He knew where you were and what you were doing immediately

You had told him before of your attempts and he had reassured your crying and hugged you all night

Belphie joining in at one point

He found you at the edge of the Devildom, a cliffside over the city

Beautiful really, but at the moment is was Beelzebubs worst nightmare replaying itself

As you turned to fall you caught his gaze and smiled a bit

All he could see was Lillith, a flashing image of his sister smiling while falling replayed as he couldn't move

He couldn't scream, he was frozen just like last time...

When he saw the smile on your face turn to fear as you made your final decision he reached out

He felt the fear wash over him, he knew this moment, he replayed it in his head every fucking day

Saw her falling backward and failing, failing to grab her...

He ran once again, not caring if he died just wanting to save you, wanting to take your place

If he could switch places with Lilith he would have, and he would have done the same for you

Wanting to finally do good

Wanting to redeem himself for what he did to Lilith

He caught you arm, his wings making a faint buzzing noise and pulled you back up

Neither of you spoke

He eventually pulled back and found you to be sleeping, drained of all energy after that

He fell asleep with you, and you both stayed there for the night.

Belphegor

Stabbing

He woke up to a gagging noise, horrible and painful

Reaching over to feel you against him and only felt the cold bed

He saw the light in the bathroom and nearly fell back asleep, until that awful gagging noise came back

It was ironic really seeing you choke on your blood the same as before

Instead of his hands around your throat your own blood coming up...cutting off your breathing

He would have been glad to witness this a while ago

Would've probably paid to watch the show

And now,

He was stunned, reached up to his own throat and squeezed a bit subconsciously

He can't remember how many times he's apologized for it, can't remember how many times you've said it was alright

Did you do this because you thought it would make him happy? is that why you would do something so fucking stupid?

He ripped off his shirt and torn a piece to wrap around your torso, the blood from the stab wound already bleeding through

You stupid fucking human, he knew this was a bad idea, he was idiotic for letting you fool him.

He picked you up and carried you to Divaolo himself, personally begging him to help you

He pushed everything aside because of you and this is how you repay him?? This

He can't go in to see you so sits outside the room you're in and prays

He prays

To whoever can hear him that you survive

Because if you don't, he will burn Earth himself.

#I'm so sorry #I had to look up ”different way to commit suicide” and it brought up a helpline instead of statics✨#asmodeus obey me #lucifer obey me #obey me #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me!#satan obey me #angst #obey me angst

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cupidhaos · 3 years

Text

not just on christmas

pairing: choi seungcheol x gn reader

word count: 2.8k

genre: fluff, angst w/ a happy ending, non idol au, slice of life, xmas fic

summary: after breaking up with seungcheol, you look back on some winter memories that you made together as you prepare to spend christmas eve alone

warnings: none

song rec: the best thing i ever did | twice

a/n: okay so this is like the first written fic that i’m posting that isn’t part of any of my social media aus and i wont lie im a little nervous im kinda shy (ಥ﹏ಥ) OKAY ANYWAYS i wanted to post this cute little cheol fic i wrote as a kinda christmas present to u all!! and if u don’t celebrate xmas then its just a present!! i hope u enjoy it bc honestly winter activities r so cute!! i hope ur all staying warm and healthy!! <33

choi seungcheol was the love of your life. the two of you had planned your futures out together, under the assumption they’d be together still. but as you sit on your bed sadly watching reruns of some cheesy holiday romance movies - you begin to think otherwise.

a misunderstanding and a wrong choice of words has now led to this misfortune that left you with a pile of tissues surrounding your bed. you don’t move from the spot on your bed until the buzzing of your phone was heard. lazily picking up your phone, you press on the call button to answer.

“hello, who is it” you groggily greet the person on the other end of the line.

“be ready in five minutes. i’m on my way” was all that they said before ending the call.

you weren’t even able to get a word in before the call had ended. sighing and placing your phone back down on the bed. you slowly get up and look at the picture frame that was placed on the side of your bed. it was a photo of you and seungcheol smiling happily on one of your very first dates.

“seungcheol! hurry up!” you called out to your boyfriend as you walk ahead of him, holding onto his hand tightly as you dragged him behind you. seungcheol lets out a low chuckle as he continued to let you drag him - slightly putting pressure on his feet against the ground to give you a harder time.

this didn’t stop you though as you continued to pull him behind. both of your mitten covered hands clasped within one another.

“i don’t even know how to skate!” seungcheol retorted playfully, though his voice was muffled by the scarf that covered half of his face. you just shrugged him off in response as the two of you neared the ice skating rink.

“i don’t either - but that makes it even more fun!” you told him cheekily as you two get in front of the outdoor ice skating rink.“two people please!” you said to the clerk, holding up two fingers.

“oh yes! two people please! one for me and one for my beautiful date.” seungcheol states as he gestures towards you with that last sentence. your face turns red as you try to hold back a smile “stop” you whisper to him as you playfully hit his chest.

“what?” seungcheol whispers back in feign cluelessness. you felt your face heat up even more as seungcheol wrapped an arm around your shoulder - pulling you closer to his warm body. he holds both of your hands up high as you two continue waiting for your skating shoes.

“excuse me!” he announces loudly, causing your eyes widen. you attempt to try and put your hands back down before he can say anything, but it didn’t help that his grip held you tightly. a couple of people passing by turn to look towards the two of you as he continues to ignore your attempts of stopping him. “this person right here!” he loudly says as he gestures down towards you.“is my very beautiful date!”

seungcheol then puts your hands back down as you hit his chest again. all he does laughs in response and pulls you closer to his chest. you bury your face into his sweater and he wraps his arms around your shoulders as he continues laughing at your reaction. you just shake your head at his antics as you shyly hug him back.

sooner or later, the two of you are in the ice skating rink.

“seungcheol!” you yell out at your boyfriend who was now the one to pulling you. he smiles as he watches your attempts in stabilizing yourself.

“aw come here” he coos as he pulls you closer towards the edge of the ice rink. you grab the edge and you both begin to skate slowly.

“you said that you didn’t know how to skate.” you pout at your calm boyfriend. seungcheol just shrugged though as his smile never wavered “guess you can say i’m a natural like that!”

you roll your eyes at him before he turns around to fully face you. grabbing your hands - you feel yourself slowly glide towards him. he mimics the pout on your face as he brushes a strand of hair from your eyes. you feel your breath hitch as he leaned in close.

your eyes fluttered shut as you waited for what was to come. that was until you felt his hand leave your face. opening your eyes, you see seungcheol staring at you with a playful grin. “you can get a kiss if you catch me!” were the last words you heard before he turned around and quickly skated away.

“choi seungcheol!” you called out with a laugh as you slowly started to skate towards him.

with a sigh, you slowly place the photo back down. a couple of minutes later, you hear the honking of a car outside of your apartment - indicating that your ride was now here.

the car ride was silent aside from the music quietly playing in the background.

“where are we going?” you quietly asked as jeonghan continued driving.

“you’ll see”

ten or so minutes of driving, you two finally reached the destination.

“why are we at a cafe?” you question after a couple of minutes waiting inside of the cafe. the waitress brings your drinks to your table and jeonghan just shrugs in response to your question. as he grabbed his cup to take a sip from it - he spits it back out quickly and you just hand him a napkin as you give a judging look towards your friend.

“okay - so that was hot. i suggest that you wait a while until you drink yours.” jeonghan suggests as he gestures towards your cup. you looked down at the cup of hot cocoa - staring at the swirls that the deflated foam created at the top of the drink.

“you have some whipped cream right there.” seungcheol pointed out as the two of you stood in the middle of a park on a cold winter afternoon.

“huh? where?” you ask, looking back up at him. seungcheol stares at you for a moment before quickly leaning in - catching his lips with yours. you didn’t have anytime to react though, because once you processed what was happening he had already pulled away.

“sorry i just had to - but hey! i got it!” he cheers and all you can do is laugh. you grabs his hand again as you both continued through the snow covered park. swinging your arms back and forth as you walked throughout the park.

it was silent between the two of you before you felt something soft land on top of your hair. curiously looking up, a wide grin soon spreads across your face.

“look! it’s snowing!” you gasped, causing seungcheol to look up as well. he looked back at you though as he watched you from the side. you admired the snow that fell softly, landing gently on top of your head. seungcheol lets out a small chuckle as he takes off the scarf he was wearing, wrapping it around your neck.

“huh?” you ask as you look back towards your boyfriend. he just shrugs though as he continues to adjust the scarf around your neck. “you looked cold - and i can’t have you getting sick, can i? i mean who else am i gonna kiss?”

you felt your face heat up at that last comment and seungcheol’s face did as well. he looked back up at you while giving you a knowing look. with an over dramatic gasp, he points towards your reddening cheeks.

“look! your cheeks are already red!”

your eyes widened as you bring your hands up to cover your face. he just grabs your hands with a laugh though - pulling them away from you “stop hiding your face - you’re cute.”

shaking your head, you raise a finger up to point towards his cheeks. “what are you even talking about! your cheeks are red also!”

the blush on seungcheol’s face reddens as he struggles to look for the right words to respond back with. you just give him a small smile though as you unravel the scarf from around your neck. seungcheol puts his hands up to stop you, but is too late once you wrap the long scarf around both of your necks.

“there we go! now both of us can stay warm and none of us will have to get sick.” you state - making the smile on seungcheol’s face grow ten times its original size. the two of you continue to smile at each other before seungcheol brings his hands up to softly cradle your face.

“and i can continue to kiss you.” he adds on as he squishes your cheeks playfully - right before leaning in to give you another kiss. the warmth of the kiss satisfies both of you as you continued to stand in the park as the snow falls gently from the cloudy sky.

“hello? earth to y/n?”

you quickly snap out of your thoughts as you look back up at your friend with a lost look “i’m sorry - what did you say?”

jeonghan just laughs at you which causes a pout to appear on your lips.

“i knew you weren’t listening. but i just wanted to talk to you again about joining me and shua for christmas eve tonight.” jeonghan offers you. you automatically shake your head though, kindly declining him “jeonghan i already told you that i didn’t want to bother you guys.”

a frown formed on jeonghan’s face at your comment. “you’re not bothering us! he invited vernon and the others over also so it isn’t an issue at all. we want you there with us!”

you just wave him off once again as you decline “it’s fine. seriously jeonghan - don’t worry.”

the frown on jeonghan’s face just deepened as he gave you a worried look. “how could i not be worried? you’re gonna be all alone on christmas eve.” he tells you with a pout. you just gave your friend a reassuring smile as he took a piece of his muffin and stuffing it in his mouth.

“seriously jeonghan i’ll be okay.”

the two of you finished up your food and headed back towards your apartment. as you exited the car, jeonghan leans over his seat and leans out of the window.

“i have to go and prepare for tonight, but just remember that if you ever change your mind - the party starts at 7, okay?” he yelled out as you walked away you just nod your head and gave your friend a thumbs up before entering into your apartment complex

as you came in, you sigh loudly. your shoulders immediately slumped as you plopped down onto the couch. another memory soon coming to mind.

“god you two are disgusting” jeonghan grimaces and joshua just laughs next to him. seungcheol sticks out his tongue playfully as the four of you continued to walk together. you just laugh from where you stood next to seungcheol as he squeezes your hand.

“you’re just jealous that i got a cute date with me aren’t you?” your boyfriend teases. joshua and jeonghan both scoff loudly at his question.

“whoever said we don’t like being single! you and y/n are just gross all the time!” jeonghan retorts.

“yeah! you’re both rubbing in your lovey dovey stuff all in our faces to mock us” joshua adds on. seungcheol just rolls his eyes at his friends as you all walked through all the decorative lights and attractions at the park.

“it’s not my fault you two decided to tag along on our date”

this causes the two roommates to gasp dramatically. jeonghan turns to joshua, ignoring seungcheol’s presence “joshua let’s go and check out those goats in the petting zoo since we’re apparently BOTHERING the love birds here”

“i think that’s a GREAT idea jeonghan!” joshua loudly announces before the two of them stalk off towards the direction of the petting zoo. its quiet for a little while before you and seungcheol turn to look at eachother.

“wanna go see the lights now?” seungcheol offers you, a wide smile spreading across your face.

you excitedly nod at his offer and the two of you quickly make your way towards the lights display. you both gasped as you began to look at all the bright christmas lights in awe.

“cheol look at that one!” you point towards another bright display a bit farther off. you both began walking towards the display smiling brightly as you stare at everything in awe. dropping seungcheol’s hand, you fish for your phone from your pocket to take photos of all the bright lights. seungcheol smiles fondly at you as he also takes out his phone. he starts to take pictures of the lights as well before his phone slowly drifts towards your direction instead.

you continued to take photos of the lights as seungcheol continues to take photos you. you glance towards to the side, causing seungcheol to act as if he was taking photos of the lights around you instead. a shy smile forms on your face as you place your phone back into your pocket. grabbing onto his hand, he puts his phone back into his pocket as well.

“i kinda wanna go see the goats now.” you sheepishly admit, causing seungcheol to laugh.

“honestly me too, i also may feel a little bad for sending shua and han off like that. don’t tell them i said that though”

bringing a hand up to your face, you feel a tear fall from your eye. glancing towards the clock, you just now realize just how long you had been sitting there.

the clock blinks 5:47 PM as you quietly sigh.

“ah screw this. i have nothing else to do i might as well go” you mumble to yourself. getting up from the sofa, you slip on your coat and quickly put on your shoes. as you open your door to leave, you feel your heart stop as you see who was standing on the other side.

seungcheol’s eyes widened as he freezes in his tracks - one of his hands in the air as if he was just about to knock on the door. you felt your breath hitch as you both stare at each other in shock.

“hi”

“hello”

you shake your head from your thoughts as you look down towards your shoes.

“what are you doing here?” you ask him quietly, gripping the sides of your coat nervously..

seungcheol looks away as he sheepishly scratches the back of his neck.

“jeonghan told me you were spending christmas alone and i just- i don’t know i guess hearing that led me back here. i was worried.” he admits, mumbling the last part under his breath. you felt your throat close up at his words.

“you were worried about me?” you asked, eyes widening at his confession. he quickly looks up at you with furrowed and confused eyebrows “i always worry about you.”

you weren’t sure what to say, all you could was stare at him in shock.

“i miss you” seungcheol blurts aloud, his face quickly turning red.

“you miss me?” you asked with a surprised look on your face.

“i’ve been missing you. i’m sorry about the fight, and i’m sorry about what i said. i want us to be how we were before. i just - i want you back.” seungcheol confessed as you stood in front of him frozen.

“but only if you want to be together again! but if you don’t i understand-”

“-i miss you too.” you confess, cutting him off. seungcheol stops in his tracks as a smile spreads across his face. the same smile that always made you heart race.

“so does that mean we’re together again?” he asks, hopefulness laced in his tone. you just laugh at his nervous demeanor.

“i mean… technically… if you really want to be...”

seungcheol just smiles before he takes something green out of his pocket.

“i brought mistletoe just in case this was the route we were to go down.” he says with a grin. you just look at him with a confused look on your face. “cheol that’s basil.”

he looks up at the stem of basil leaves he held above the two of you with confusion “but… jeonghan told me this was mistletoe”

“theres a bit of a difference between the two - how can you get it mixed up?

“i don’t know! i was in a rush and i just knew that it was green! can you just act like its mistletoe?”

“but it’s basil -” you start off with a laugh, before being cut off by a soft pair of lips.

out of all the things that were to happen tonight, kissing choi seungcheol underneath a stem of basil leaves hanging above both of your heads was something you would’ve never expected.

m.list

#kwritersworldnet #seventeen #choi seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol x you #seungcheol oneshot #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fics #written fics #seventeen oneshot #seventeen imagines #merry christmas!! its still xmas where im at even tho its ending soon AFHSDFHW #anyways happy holidays and if u dont celebrate holidays i hope ur days are filled withjoy anyways!!#aye who else in love seungcheol tho i know i am #i wanted him to be the first one i posted a written fic for

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qtyanan · 5 years

Text

Flashback

Summary: “You and Mark hadn’t seen each other in years. Now he’s famous, and you didn’t think he’d recognize you.”

Pairing&Rating: NCT Mark Lee + female reader ; FLUFF, slight angst

a/n: this is longer than expected, and super sappy, and it took me forever to finish it... but wow, soft mark hours are REAL and im gonna cry over him gn

“Where do you think we’ll be in five years?”

“Mark, it’s like 3am, I thought you were asleep.”

“Well, you’re not asleep.”

You blindly reach towards Mark in the darkness, trying to hit him with a stuffed animal, causing him to snicker. Weekend sleepovers together were pretty normal, sleeping in the same bed wasn’t a worry from your parents since you’ve known each other for so long. Mark randomly saying things and asking questions about the past or future in the middle of the night was more common than sleeping

“Really, though. Do you think we’ll still be friends in five years?”

“I don’t know, probably,” you weren’t really sure on the answer, but you didn’t really have doubts. You two had been friends are as long as you can remember - classes, clubs, and sports were taken on as an unstoppable duo. Now you’re in eighth grade, half a year away from high school, and you’re closer than ever. It seems like nothing could tear you apart - and you liked it that way.

“I bet we will. I hope so, at least,” his voice sounds so sincere, it seems as if he had been thinking deeply on it for a while before he spoke of it.

“Yeah, me too.” With that, he let out a delighted chuckle, and you both fell asleep.

It had been six years. Six years and that conversation still plays in your mind late at night when you can’t sleep, painfully missing your favorite childhood friend.

Not even a month after that sleepover, he moved away, seemingly never to be heard from again. All of your friends in class pestered you about where he went, and it only upset you more - because he didn’t tell you he was leaving.

Him becoming a kpop star was probably the last thing you thought would happen to him; it was quite a slap in the face. BTS got you into kpop, then EXO, GOT7, now you’re into many different groups, including NCT. When you found them, and saw your prepubescent best friend, all grown up, dancing and rapping, you thought it was a dream.

Now they’re on a world tour, and Canada is one of the stops. You could never pay for a fansign ticket, but finally, you managed to save the money to be able to attend.

There were so many people around you. Many had some kind of merch, a lightstick or a sign. You could even count maybe 5 girls crying about meeting NCT.

Your hand was in your pocket, nervously sweating and gripping your ticket - second row, 5th seat. In your other hand, was a baby pink gift bag with a little stuffed animal in it. Years ago, Mark had left the little bear at your house, and it seemed like a nice time to give it back to him. The wait in line outside seemed to take forever, and it added to your anxiety.

You couldn’t understand why you were so anxious. He was your best friend, shouldn’t you be happy to see him? But you were so scared - what if he didn’t remember you? What if you went up to meet him, and he doesn’t even look twice? If you told someone, would they believe you? Of course not. The negatives in this situation made it hard for you to breathe.

The girls sitting next to you on either side both shifted excitedly. One had a mask on and didn’t turn your way, but the other smiled at you.

“Who’s your bias?” She asks, and you couldn’t control your smile. “Mark,” you say, and she smiles and nods. It was hard not to bias him, since you knew how he was off camera.

“Aw, he’s so cute. He’s my bias too, he seems like such a sweetheart!” She squealed in delight, causing you to blush a little bit.

This is it. As your row stood up and walked towards the fansign table, you felt like you could pass out. Yes, you were so excited to say hello to the other members, but it was almost the moment of truth - and you could only think of the bad.

As you took the seat in front of Mark, he didn’t look up at you at first. For that half second, you really admired him. He looked so grown up, you realized just how long it’s been. You suddenly felt a wave of so many emotions wash over you.

“Hi! What’s your name?”

“Y/N”

He had his sharpie in his hand, your album in the other, ready to sign it like everyone else - but he obviously froze. Your stomach dropped, gulping hard. He slowly looked up at you, his eyes wide and mouth open. You almost really did cry, but then,

“Y/n... [your full name]..?” He went quiet, and you smile, nodding at him, trying to hold back your tears.

“Hey, Mark, long time no see,” You chuckle, trying to joke so you don’t actually cry.

“Wow, yeah, oh my gosh, how have you been!?” He said quickly then started scribbling something on the inside of the album cover. You laugh at his awkwardness, shrugging at the question with a little “eh.”

“Here, I brought this for you.” You put the gift bag on the table, causing him to raise a brow at you. “It’s actually yours, from forever ago..” He looked inside the bag, and you noticed him take a big breath. He looked at you with big, glassy eyes - he felt this emotion too, he never thought he would see you again, or if you would even know where he was.

“Y/n... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you-” He spoke quietly, but you were being pushed along to the next member by the manager and the girl next to you. You gave Mark a small smile, then shifted over to Johnny.

“Y/n, huh? Mark talks a lot about you.” Johnny gives you a little smile, causing you to blush madly. You glance over at Mark, who’s blushing as well, and he gave you a quick glance with a happy smile.

When you finally arrive home, the day seemed like a dream. It was late at night, the drive home was only an hour, but you were tired. You kept playing the day in your head - he recognized you. Right away. That alone made you happy, but what you wouldn’t give to spend more time with him.

Oh yeah, he signed your album, but you didn’t look at it yet. When you opened it, you knew his writing - his signature, and then... a number? He wrote ‘Whatsapp’ in messy letters. Of course, you message him right away, hoping at this hour, he’d answer.

And he did. All you said was ‘hey.’

‘you still live in the same house, right?’

‘yeah, why??’

‘go to the park, i want to see you’

Your heart was beating in your ears. You didn’t think it would lead to that, but at the same time you expected it. It was late, yes, but you hurriedly slip your sneakers back on and go back out to your car.

You remember the park of course. It was mostly fields and trees, but you two would sneak out and play on the swings when you were younger. The last time you two went, Mark fell off his bike and hurt his ankle, so you had to call your mom and you two got in trouble. As you were driving, you snickered thinking about it.

But... You couldn’t help but to feel nervous. It had been years, you didn’t think at all that you were ever on his mind.

There wasn’t a single car on the road. The air was a bitter cold, it had snowed when you were on your way home, but none of it stayed on the ground. Every time you stopped at a red light, your stomach would turn again. You tried to calm yourself, but for some reason, it was just hard. You didn’t realize that you missed him this much. Now he had asked you to meet up at your childhood hangout place, and none of it seemed real.

The gates to the park were closed, and a padlock kept them shut. You knew it would be like that, so you parked down the street and cut through the trees to the lonely swing set. You looked around, you didn’t see anyone. But, sitting alone on a swing, was a single person. In the bright moonlight, you could just barely make out that it was Mark. His back was turned to you, and you could see that his head was hung low, and he was holding himself from the cold.

“Hey, Mark Lee,” Your voice startled him, but he stood and turned to face you. You couldn’t read his expression in the dim light. Neither of you walked closer for a moment, and the tension in the air made your shoulders go rigid. He didn’t say anything for a bit, he just stared at you.

“You look exactly the same.” He finally said, taking slow steps towards you. You look away, afraid to see the look in his eyes now that he’s close enough to see it. His words oddly made you feel warmer, but you still shivered when the wind blew.

“That’s surprising, it’s been six years.” You didn’t mean for your words to sound bitter, but they did. You hear him take in a heavy breath, and when he says nothing, you finally look up at him. His brown eyes glistened in the moonlight, and the shadows on his face made him look mature and defined. “You look different, though.” You say, a dry laugh following. “Older.”

“Well, it’s been six years.” He mocks you in the joking way, and you couldn’t hide your smile. This makes him smile as well, and while you looked away again, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“It’s been... six years...” He sounds breathless this time, like it finally settled on him how long it’s been. This forces you to look back up, and he now has a sad smile. His eyes are apologetic, same as when he tried to speak to you at the event. In a way it hurt you. His face holds pain in the situation, but in a way, this was his doing. He was the one that left to be an idol. You didn’t hold that against him, but you were still upset that he left without telling you. You didn’t think that you two were ever going to part, and you still can’t believe that now his life has gone so differently from yours. He seems to be having an amazing life, but you’re lonely without him, and for some reason... mad.

But the way he looked at you, you didn’t show your anger - it melted away when he put his hand on your arm.

“I’ve missed you, Y/n. You don’t have to believe me, but I think about you all the time.” You wouldn’t believe him normally, but even Johnny said it. “Y/n, huh? Mark talks a lot about you.”

You chew on your lip nervously, you have no idea what to say to him. What does a person do in a situation like this? You just stare at him for a moment. He’s closer to you now, and you see just how tired he is. His blonde hair is messy, different from how you saw him earlier.

“Are you okay, Mark? You look... so tired.”

“Mark, please, calm down.” Johnny tries to make Mark sit down, but the younger is pacing across the hotel room, almost pulling out his own hair. “I am so stupid!! How could I not have said more?! It’s been years and I barely said anything!! She probably hates me for leaving...” Mark’s almost on the verge of tears as he speaks frantically, and all he wants to do is scream.

“She came today, so she doesn’t hate you. Just talk to her some more-”

There’s a ding from Mark’s phone. He quickly picks it up, then looks at Johnny.

“It’s Y/n. Oh god, what do I say?!”

“Maybe you should go and see her. You said we’re pretty close to your hometown right?”

“Yeah...yeah! But how will I meet her anywhere?”

“I’ll drive you, just tell her to meet you somewhere.”

The moments that happened before he came here played in his head, but he said nothing to you about it. He just gave you a small smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“I just haven’t been sleeping well. Surprise, surprise, right?” You just give him an awkward smile. This made you chuckle. He’s always had trouble sleeping, he used to tell you how his mind was moving too fast for him to fall asleep. He always wanted to listen to soft songs to sleep, or he would ask you to sing along to a song you knew well.

“I guess things like that will never change.” You say, and for some reason, your words lingered in the cold air for a moment. Without any thought, you put your hand over Mark’s, feeling how cold his fingers are. You took both of his hands into your jacket sleeves, something you used to do as you two waited for the school bus during winter.

He feels another wave of emotion flood over him, and this time, he can’t seem to keep the tears away. He sucks in a shaky breath, looking down at your hands.

“Mark...” You feel this aching pain in your chest at seeing him like this.

“I-I’m sorry, Y/n...” His voice cracks, and he can’t bring himself to look up at you.

“Mark, look at me.” Your voice is soft but stern enough for him to obey, his body relaxing slightly at the sweet look in your eyes. “I’m not mad at you. I never was.” You tell him, holding on tightly to his hands now.

“R-really?”

You can see his tears glistening in the moonlight, and you release one of your hands to wipe his cheeks. He flutters his eyes closed, resting his face against your hand.

“Really, Mark. I’m so proud of you. I just want you to be happy.”

His lip quivers at your words, and he closes his eyes tightly. “I’m not happy. Not without you being my best friend.”

The feeling his words gave you made you want to burst into tears, but instead, you threw yourself into his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck. He doesn’t hesitate to hold you, gripping your jacket with a death grip, as if he knows you’ll disappear any second. You stand in silence for what feels like forever. His embrace doesn’t loosen at all, and you’re okay with it. You miss his hugs, his smell and his warmth. He’s taller and more muscular now, making the way he holds you make you feel even warmer.

“Please... keep contact with me, okay? Please...” You say into his shoulder, feeling a little ridiculous that you begged him like that. He takes a deep breath into your hair as if imprinting your smell into his soul.

“I promise, Y/n. I don’t want to leave you again. God, I’ve missed you so much...” He loosens his arms around you just enough to be able to look you in the eye, watching how the moon and stars seemed to be held in your eyes.

The thought of being able to see and talk to him more made a weight lift off your shoulders. A happy smile forms on your face as you nod at him, and he nods back.

“So, uh... I had to sneak out to see you... I should probably get back before my manager kills me.” He awkwardly chuckles, but even with saying that, he doesn’t let you go - God please, not yet, just a little longer.

“Yeah... My mom might kill me if she finds out I’ve stayed out so late.” You giggle, making his chest warm up. You wouldn’t believe how much he has missed your laugh.

“I’ll text you, okay?” He finally lets go of you, and you shiver from the cold air once again. He nod at him, waving goodbye to him as he runs to Johnny’s car. You stand there for a moment, watching as they pull away. It takes a moment for you to actually comprehend what just happened, and you ended up standing there for almost 5 minutes. Your phone chimes, and you look down to see another message from Mark.

‘get home safe. I love you, dork.’

bitch im so fkin soft

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