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billskeis · 13 hours

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Hi, would it be fine, if I ask you for bill angst?

I don't want the reader to forgive so easily too 😫😩

Thanks, pookieboo.

ᡣ𐭩 bill’s stupid priorities

“i want to break up.” bill said. he said it so easily, as though he’s been thinking about it for a while. you stand there in the middle of the living room, dropping your glass of water, glass shattering to the floor as you physically feel sick. suddenly all air is lost in your lungs as you force your body to swallow the boulder forming in your throat from becoming any larger.

mouth agape before you could speak. what’s gotten into him? everything was fine before, but.. now all of a sudden he wants to end things? you sit down on the couch beside him, he inches himself a distance from you, your heart stings at the action, oh he’s serious.

“can you tell me why?” you hold onto your knees to prevent shaking, your breath already doing enough of that.

“i..i just want to focus on the band—and don’t get me wrong—i know you said you don’t care about me putting the band before you.. but, i can’t. i don’t want to do this to you anymore.” he begins to sit up from the couch, a hand of yours instinctively grasping onto him.

“but i never once asked you for anything more! please, i’m content with what we have just—please don’t leave me,” tears welling up in your eyes as they begin to cloud your vision, “this, we’re stronger than this, bill, it’s been years. and you want to drop it all now?”

he shakes your hand off of him. stepping further and further away from your apartment as he gathers his things.

“‘m sorry y/n. it’s over.”

“how long?”

“h-huh?”

“how long have you been thinking about this? how long were you gonna wait and plan to tell me this while i naively loved you, craved you. and cherished every single moment we’ve had with one another before you meant to break up with me.”

you’re now stood up to his level, on the balls of your feet that began to ache with impatience. as your now ex-boyfriend stands there without a single word to say. wow, so he’s been thinking about it for a while then.

you sit down on the couch, elbows propped up onto your knees as you begin to sob into your hands after emitting a small “fine. do whatever you want,” and with the click of the door shutting, it all came raining down on you as your heart bore the loss and pain of love that you had with your person.

all you could think about were the happy memories of your time with bill. it started off as meeting in elementary school, protecting him from the ruthless bullies that bothered him and tom. escalating to a vow where the three of you are bound to stick and stay together forever.

it was clear that over the years you and bill’s bond were, in short words—closer— than you and tom. sometimes during your weekly hangouts alongside georg and gustav, you and bill would secretly escape and elope to god knows where. sharing mcdonalds together, watching movies with one another. hand holding whenever it felt right, which was, all the time.

you were there with bill when times were tough and tokio hotel got an immense amount of hate. the morales were low and bill felt as though he lost all hope, but you didn’t let him. did everything in your power, actually, to get him back on his feet and now tokio hotel are back stronger and better than ever! so.. did that all mean nothing to him?

when he all of a sudden just decided to spew at you that he wanted to break up? why did he get to make such a decision himself?

oh, how poor you wish you knew ..

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

during their performance everything was going super smooth! fans were chanting, guitars were going and the set was perfect. well, the three of the members thought the flow was going perfect. whilst singing it’s second verse, bill scans the crows to see a bunch of fangirls and boys screaming and crying for the young rockstars.

all but one face, the face he yearns to see is missing. leading him to stumble on a line where he completely banks out on his line.

he quickly picks up the pace, backing his track onto the song as he shares a glance with tom. tom, who’s jaw is clenched as he strings his guitar, mouths a ‘what the hell’ to his younger brother as he then focuses on the crowd in front of him, staging a facade to not start any unnecessary drama for the media to feed and bank money on.

“what the hell, bill!?” tom throws his empty coca cola can at bill, who successfully dodges as they now sit in the dressing room post-concert.

bill scoffs as he uses a small towel to wipe off the sweat and dripping mascara off his face, “you just completely fucked up our tempo. like you’ve been doing for the past couple of days, s’wrong with you??” georg plops himself down on the couch as he swings an arm around his band member. “betcha it has something to do with y/n.” he teases.

tom quirks an eyebrow, “the fuck did he do?” gustav slips in, “he broke up with her,” tom, left in complete and utter shock, not cause he was the last to know but the fact that his brother let the only person who loved his brother so much to the point they’d kill, he broke up with, “are you fucking insane!?!”

“take a shot every time tom said ‘fuck’ or ‘fucking.’” georg snorts.

“please georg, now is not the time. and yes, i did break up with them. i made it clear that i wanted to focus on the band and that.. they were a distraction.” this time, tom threw a decorative couch pillow at bill, who again, successfully evades the blow by catching it within a hold.

“you’re fucking stupid.”

“how am i stupid? how am i stupid for wanting to focus on the band? isn’t this what we would’ve wanted?? no distractions, whatsoever. you even decided to stop taking in groupies because it fucked with our tempo.”

“it fucked with MY tempo. nobody else even noticed. but you, bill, are our lead singer. and with your tempo fucked, so is everyone else’s. look at you man, you can’t even deliver your lines without messing up, it’s been like this for the past couple weeks! what will the media think?? what will our fans think?? you were never once like this when with y/n. they, in fact, helped our tempo.”

“i..i thought it’d help us..”

“well, it didn’t. and y’know what. i know you regret it. i saw you. i saw the way that your pathetic little gaze scanned the crowd in hopes to see them. well guess what, they weren’t there. you betrayed them. betrayed us, remember that vow? how could you do this? i thought you loved them.”

bill looks down as his hands, empty. as if they’re missing something. someone, someone who fits and moulds to them completely and perfectly. tom was right. he did love you. bill just thought, by breaking things off would help with his career, singing is his life, tokio hotel, the band, his fans, are all his life. but so were you.

the only thing that bill could imagine at that very moment was the touch of your hand atop of his head, comforting him to let him ‘know everything would be okay.’

all he wants, is a caress from his girlfriend.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

you stare at yourself in the mirror, waiting for your friend to come out the washroom to reveal her own outfit to you. “wow. you look amazing babe!” she giggles as she twirls you, hand holding your arm above your body in your tight-skin dress. “thanks, but ‘m not sure if i’m ready to go now..”

“are you kidding?? take all the time you need. oh! but not too long i wanna be there early enough there’s still free alcohol.”

you bite your lip. you didn’t really want to go out. after the breakup all you did was stay inside, watching movies, binge, watch more movies, stay in bed. hell, you didn’t even shower for a few days! it took hours and hours of convincing for your best friend to finally persuade you into going to a house party.

she looks at you and softens her gaze, arms wrapping around your body as you simple stand there, “i know. i know you originally weren’t planning to go out. but you need to. you need to finally get back into the world and realize that a world without bill is still worth living. hey! maybe you’ll end up finding someone else while we’re out.”

you snicker at her and pat her back for her to let go, “you know i don’t want anything else but bill. but hey, you’re right. i deserve this, and i’m worth more than bill and i’s relationship!” you pump yourself up as your best friend cheers for you, “that’s the spirit! now let’s go get our drinks on!”

“w-wait y/n!! where are you going!? we didn’t even get our third shots yet!” your friend chases after you in the crowd as pushes away the people preventing her from getting to you so easily. you stop in your tracks and turn on your feel to face her, “he’s.. he’s here! sophia he’s here i—i gotta go.”

she tugs on your hand to hold you back from leaving any further, “so what? the night is still young and there’s so many people around. he won’t notice!”

in despite of all the commotion of the people dancing, making out, laughing and drinking, smoking and grinding, there you stood in the hallway with your best friend as the two of you bickered. bill’s eyes widened in shock as he saw you here of all places. but why did it matter to him? the two of you were broken up.

he stared in awe at how you looked. glowing. the way you shine in such a dimly lit environment almost had his knees buckling. if it weren’t for the publicity of it. bill would’ve already been on the floor, a full on prayer for you to take him back. he would’ve done it, if it weren’t for the multiple spilt drinks mixed with the dirt and germs tracked onto the floor of the somewhat fraternity house. one could say it was even worse than the club.

“and that’s when she—bill? where’ya goin??” tom asks with a blunt accompanying the corner of his mouth.

“to get my girlfriend back!” he looks back to his older brother who’s already shooing him off, a proud smile plastered onto his face at the sight of his determined younger brother. as bill made his way through the crowd of people, one girl attempted to grab onto his arm, caressing it, as he quickly shut her down her pick-up line, cutting her off with a ‘not interested’ as he now stands in front of you.

oh fuck. oh fuckfuckfuck he’s right in front of you. god, he looked amazing. and you bet if you inched a bit closer to him he’d be wearing that cologne you loved so much. oh who are you kidding he probably doesn’t wear that anymore since the two of you aren’t dating anymore. he is wearing it

“hi.. y/n. can we, talk? please?” he shoves his hands inside his pockets, standing there awkwardly.

sophia had to slap your arm for you to realize that you haven’t said anything for a minute. dissociating as you haven’t grasped the fact that your ex boyfriend was standing right in front of you, and he wanted to talk??

anger bubbled within your core. he wanted to talk?? after all this time, and after all these weeks, he wants to talk?? it took everything in your body to not tackle him. right then and there, and just completely claw at his body for how he’s left you. the man that promised you, a forever and together.

then, you saw it, in the flashing lights for a moment. eyebags, eyebags so bad you’d know he’d only get from the lack of sleep, they were different that others, y’know? the kind that only form when something truly keeps you up at night. if you stared a little harder, you noticed too that his eyes were puffy, and he seemed.. frail.

you let in a deep inhale, and patted the sides of your thigh where your arms rest to comfort you into not lashing out at him, “five minutes, you have, five. fucking minutes. bill.” as you grab his hand and lead him into the washroom.

locking the door, you push him onto the toilet and stand in front of him, feeling a little guilty for the wince he let out from how you’ve manhandled him, “speak. and use your words fucking wisely because i did not want to spend my night talking to the man who broke me, kaulitz.”

and it was the way you said his last name. the way that your voice held so much sorrow and angst from how much he broke you. in an attempts to not sound shaky, you croak while speaking to him. but how could you not? just seeing his stupid fucking face just makes you want to crumble down, as all the flashing memories of your life together came together in a timeline as you saw him.

“i—fuck y/n, i’m lost without you.. i don’t know what i can do to get you to believe that i can make us work together, it was stupid of me to break our vow.”

“yeah, it was.”

“but, but now, i want us to work. and i don’t want to give up. i did that once and—well, i’m here now. i’m here in front of you because it was the wrong choice. please, schatzi.. give us another chance.”

“no! no—don’t you fucking call me that because you don’t get the right.”

he frowned, and it hurt to see him sad. but he had to understand, that you were sad to. and he thought that maybe, maybe by him letting you let out all the anger that you’ve held against him for the past few weeks, will allow you to forgive him. for him to yours once more.

“i gave you my heart. my fucking soul. i gave you my everything and then you up and left.. how could you!? how could you do this to me.. it’s your fault.. it’s all your fault. and now, i don’t feel as if i could ever love anyone or myself as much as i loved you bill.”

“i..i still think your my person, y/n. and i’m hoping, that i can become yours again.”

he reaches out and arm to hold your body within his, he yearned for that caress that you’d always done for him. just to be held in your arms once again, like old times. but you slap away his hand, “get away from me,” you hissed. you unlock the door and look back at the pitiful figure that sat still on the toilet seat, music somehow blaring into the small space that only encompassed the two of you. you stare at him, completely lost and unknowing of what you want to do.

“your five minutes is up, goodbye bill.” slamming the door behind you as you left bill, who notices the tears that began to fall and stain the fabric of his jeans.

i think this was so shit

no ending of them tgt cuz im evil :p would write a p2 but im also so lazy and have so many reqs , bare w me

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x y/n #tokio hotel x you #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel angst #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x y/n #bill kaulitz x you #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz angst #2000s #fyp #billskeis

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kharmii · 2 days

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A collection of messed up family dynamics. The translations were confusing on these first ones, so I'm going to attempt to give a summary of what I believe is going on. Comic starts out showing why Dabi and Geten complement each other well. Child Dabi (Touya) is burned by his own quirk, so his mother with an ice quirk uses it to calm the pain. Meanwhile, Child Geten sees ReDestro get burned, so he used his ice quirk to comfort him as well.

Side note: Some fans head canon Geten got his quirk awakening by seeing ReDestro get burned. That's an interesting idea. It would mean ReDestro had him before he knew the full extent of his power. He may have just known the potential through the Himura name and therefore he still saw him as a powerful pawn.

Anyway, Geten, -while asleep dreaming- grabs Dabi's hand while reliving the memory of using his ice quirk on ReDestro's burns. This makes Dabi relive the memory of his mother using her ice quirk on his burns. Geten tears up in his sleep from the memory. Dabi wipes his tears, then dabs blood from his ripped stitches onto Getens mouth (Geten exclaims 'What!?') and they kiss.

I'm not sure if Geten wakes up disgusted, or if he is still asleep and his dream turns bad. He yells "YOU!!" in a way like he's full of disdain and also says, "This must be someone's ploy!"

Dabi replies, "Don't blame others."

Geten: What a place...Shhh...

Dabi: You came here half asleep, right?

Geten: I do not remember!!! Lion tongue! (reference to his mouth being spikey, unpleasant).

Dabi: ...Ice Yarrow...(same, yarrow has thorny stems) The inside of your mouth is also cold.

Maybe I'm just too hot...Yeah.

Dabi gets drowsy from the cold and says, "The cold one....I don't hate it.................

Geten kicks him in the head and says, "Do not sleep!!! Wow. I hate it!

Once again, Dabi has memories of being soothed by his mother's ice quirk while at the same time, Geten (who looks similar to Dabi's mother) has memories of using his ice to sooth someone's pain.

Geten says, "The hot one too. I hate it."

That's when the reader realizes that he was acting out in frustration over Dabi being in pain just by existing.

Meanwhile, Dabi is feeling blissful and relaxed from being chilled so much. He tells Geten, "In that case, please do it just right."

They are good again.

Next collection is a sad 2-part comic showing Child Geten being looked after by ReDestro. Geten can't sleep one night -and feels sick at heart- so he comes to sleep in ReDestro's room. ReDestro says, "Can't you sleep, Apocrypha?" then tells him not to act like a dog.

Geten bringing a dog bed into ReDestro's room then getting told not to call him 'Dad' while still being comforted and cuddled represents to me that he's being raised as a beloved slave, not a son. This way, ReDestro can brainwash him into being constantly agreeable and a comfort to him (as opposed to how biological children can be infuriating and total pains sometimes), and he can be emotionally distant enough to put Geten's life in danger during quirk training while not having to fear for him the way he would a real son.

Goofy comic where Geten collects Meta Liberation War books, and ReDestro tells him he should distribute them to other people to spread the word. Geten doesn't want to share. Since the text is small, I'll post a translation here:

GETEN'S COLLECTION

Curious: We have finally surpassed 600,000 copies!

Re-Destro: Wonderful.

Expressions that are easy to understand for young people...

However, I have always been concerned about the changes in the wording of the original text.

It's important, but it's still a shame

I would like you to consider making a complete reproduction version when you reach the million copies mark. It's my dream.

Geten: million………ReDestro... I can buy 50 more books this month. *looks sharp* Your dream is mine!!!

ReDestro: It's apocryphal to buy wastefully anymore...stop and distribute the stock for missionary work.

Geten: I won't give it to anyone!!! Your dream is my treasure!!! Wasting it!?!?!?

(My pocket money has decreased)

Art credit: yaoi, hrak (yaoi), My Hero Academia BL 3000+ bookmarks / （※注キャプション）荼ホ＋外荼外の今までに描いた漫画 - pixiv

#geten #dabi #redestro #curious #rei todoroki #touya todoroki #fire and ice #dabiten #the adorableness #messed up family dynamics #koi fish

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merlinshutup · 2 years

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5x13- The Diamond of the Day: Part 2

#*rewatch #*mygifs #and thats a wrap #wow this was just as painful as i knew it would be #mann #this episode was arguably so good yet so awful #i cant believe this is the end of this gif series wowee #tho now im definitely up for gif suggestions so hmu haha x

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pandora15 · 1 year

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i just think that it's really horribly painful that ilum, a place that is so sacred to the jedi and so important to their culture, eventually is converted to a superweapon that probably killed millions upon millions of people in the form of starkiller base and it just so horribly goes against everything that the jedi stood for that i just.

honestly this is probably one of the most painful things about star wars to me.

#i've been really obsessed with jedi fallen order lately #so i've been watching a lot of youtube videos about it in my free time (ie. when i'm not playing it)#and i stumbled across someone pointing out that if you return to ilium later on in the game you can see the trench forming #that would eventually become a part of starkiller base #and i just. it just all hit me at once #even though i knew about it before and probably had the same reaction back then #i kinda just forgot about it i guess?#but. /wow/ that's just unspeakably painful #anyways #i'm sad about star wars what else is new #ilum #star wars #jedi #jedi positivity

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waitineedaname · 1 year

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I could pick a million different things that make me emotional about the kageyama brothers, but right now I'm thinking about ritsu reflecting on the original ???% incident during the final arc and how part of the reason he was so hurt by it wasn't just the actual physical injury or the trauma of the incident itself, but also the fact that shigeo wouldn't fucking talk to him about what happened. It's extremely likely that ritsu has been lying about what happened that day ever since it happened, like he probably told his parents that same lie about the bullies hurting him and shigeo protecting him, and the only other person who would know the truth is shigeo, but shigeo started shutting him out after that. I get the impression that before, they were the kind of siblings who told each other everything, which is why it hurts so badly that shigeo shut down so much and stopped letting his brother in, especially when ritsu is just a kid dealing with the weight of a lie like that to protect his brother. Idk, it just puts ritsu always being like "you know you can talk to me about anything" in a different light

#mp100 #ritsu kageyama #wow another sol post about ritsu??? who could have expected this!#I just rewatched episode 11 and I am feeling so many things #ouuughhghgh kageyama brothers they plague my every waking moment #idk it just recently occurred to me that ritsu definitely didn't tell their parents what actually happened #bc they would probably treat shigeo differently if they knew he had almost killed his brother and several teenagers #so ritsu has been dealing with the weight of that lie since he was NINE. THAT'S SO YOUNG TO TAKE THAT ON.#and he just wanted to talk about it with his brother! the only person who might understand! but shigeo wouldn't let him!#they hurt me. I am going to explode.#i was just thinking about something that always kills me in fanart #which is injured kid ritsu and teen shigeo #like. dealing with the guilt of hurting your kid brother like that #and it's especially painful when injured kid ritsu is shown forgiving him #AUGH.#so yeah I was thinking about that too much and now we're here

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finncakes · 1 year

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if i project on her hard enough i'll get a cane :]

#critical role #cr3 #laudna #laudna cr #cr laudna #i NEED to go to a doctor #cause if my pain can be helped with physical therapy that would be nice...#idk. i'm figuring out this chronic pain stuff -_-#never realized i had it cause i was raised to just not ever talk abt my pain ever so #and i still have that guilt of feeling like i'm faking it eugh #anyway in good news i used my knee brace today and it helped ! nothing fancy but my leg wasn't throbbing in pain by the end of the day !#like it still hurt but WOW. who fuckin knew.#i really want to try and get a cane. it'd make my walk to work so much easier #and it'd mean i can go on walks with my friend TwT #but i don't think my mom would ever get me a cane if i ask or would get mad if i got one wah...#ok i shut up now :)

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mid-nightowl · 6 months

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…can i ask you to share more of your thoughts on fem!jaytim vibes

hi cory!!!! yes, yes i can :) <3

most of my thoughts come from this lil snippet and my tags.

my thoughts on fem!jaytim can be boiled down to this line: “Her successor fascinates her. She kind of wants to let him dissect her, little freak that he is.”

like tim is a freak who would absolutely want to dissect and take jaye apart piece by piece just to get to the bottom of whatever the hell is wrong with her (obsessive) and jaye would let him bc she wants to know what the hell is wrong with him (affectionate).

It’s almost a scientist and their never-ending experiment, but not quite?

like the dissection, its the act, the intimacy, the trust in being vulnerable and completely open on the table for them to see, a show and a sight but not a performance, it's the ‘i’m going to take you apart piece by piece, not to fix you or change you, but just to understand you’, and 'i’m going to get my hands dirty and dig into you, and it can be voluntarily or not, it can be with anesthesia or nothing but im going to know you whether you like it or not,' paired with 'you are going to have to cut me open to get to know me, it has to be cold and violent, it has to be artful and methodological.'

but jaye started off with ‘i want to destroy you, take you to the brink, the edge of despair and fury and hatred and let you go without any catharsis,’ kind of like capturing a wild animal, testing on it, and then releasing it back into the wild with a tag to see what it will do after being changed (will it return back to it’s normal routine or will it come back for more?)

and then tim kept coming back. and that's when jaye is like alright yeah, i'll let you rip me open and give me a name (or maybe give me back my name?) and tim does, and he does it carefully, adoringly, obsessively.

and i think tim’s obsessive focus, paired with the idea of the knife/scalpel = love, is what jaye would respond to best. she was raised in violence, and probably thinks that fighting and pain is caring and love, AND she’s never been a priority in anyone’s life. so for tim to obsess and know her in ways that no one else has before (or have even bothered) is captivating, exciting, and absolutely mind-boggling, and i think jaye would get possessive, like ‘this robin, this little freak is mine.'

i, hmmm. running out of coherent thoughts after this, so um i guess enjoy? <3

#asks #felinemotif #i don't write/talk about jaytim very much; ive always been a jaydick girlie #but this was a lot of fun to think about and like actually get down my thoughts in a somewhat coherent manner #i think there's another piece here about the dissection as an intimacy that only requires the subject and the surgeon/scientist #and the idea of labelling and taking photos of the parts something about learning and teaching but also remembering #another part: once the dissection is done once tim knows all of jaye does he stay?#which i think devolves into jaye going out of her way to prolong the dissection bc she thinks it may be temporary between her & tim #whereas tim is thinking okay i know all the pieces and parts which means im the perfect partner for jaye #no one knows her better than me AND no one will get to know her like i do #(the whole dissection thing too like tim is not afraid about hurting jaye whereas bruce is bc he knew her before)#(bruce thinks “dissection” would = change bad or good while tim knows it just means learning and knowing)#like it's going to be painful before it gets better and bruce doesn't want to go through the pain of knowing this version of jaye #bc it means acknowledging what he's done or not done #and tim's a fixer at heart but to fix things you gotta know what you're dealing with #problem is tim fell in love and realized fixing things would just make it worst so #he is very content with his tall gf that could kill him with her thighs and lets him do his freaky experiments<3 #okay wow i was not done with the thoughts ajfkagjbsg imma stop now #jaytim #fem!jaytim

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