#worse people than you get loved
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If you’re loved from the start, it gets stored in your cells, your brain recognizes it as the correct way for you to exist, and you don’t even get to doubt it; you seek it out as your birthright. When you don’t have it, your brain recognizes neglect and abuse as the ‘correct way for you to exist’ and you try and reprogram it, tell yourself thousand times it’s not supposed to be like that, you’re supposed to be loved, you’re supposed to be cared for, but you have no way to seek it out and have it, so it’s just struggling with your thoughts, all on your own. Feeling like you’re deluding yourself because surely if it was right and correct for you to be loved, you would be loved, at least for some part of your life, at least by someone. You’d at least have memories of how it felt, how correct it was, and you’d know what kind of situation you want to put yourself in, so you’d have that again.
But without it, you’re just blind without a map, telling yourself something you never experienced should and does exist, you only have no idea where to get it, or how to find it. And, if you do get closer to it, you’ll get uncomfortable and triggered and feel desire to leave. And you have to get out of it, because it’s part of your stability to get away from highly distressing situations, you can’t afford to be in distress that high.
Finding ways to feel like you have the right to be loved, is something complex and hard, that doesn’t come easily to those abused and unloved. It’s the one thing we have to teach ourselves over and over, and it still only works when other people agree, and put effort into being there for us, being willing to undo some of the damage done. You’re not to blame if you cant’ figure it out, or do it alone. If you struggle with relationships and friendships and feeling worthy, it’s absolutely not your fault. You were put in a situation where this would be hard. If you can only handle little bits and pieces, that’s okay. This is something other people are responsible for as well.
#aftermath of neglect#aftermath of abuse#psychological abuse#child abuse#bonding issues#self perception#self value#feeling worthy of love#trying to convince yourself you're worthy and can be loved#when all life gives you is the opposite#but you have to keep the spirit#worse people than you get loved#and its difficult to figure out why
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Thank you. I'm sorry.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin guangyao#lan wangij#jin ling#LWJ shifting into fight mode was so damn cool. He is always ready to start throwing hands.#It's in a way that befits someone with a bit more bloodlust that his calm demeanor lets on - but nearly always in defense of someone.#What a great synergy with his personal philosophies! see that he is a Genuinely Noble Guy time and time again!#Is is also way more hilarious and unhinged than most people give him credit for? Also yes.#Nothing and no one ever said he did not or would not rip off JGY's hat mid-fight. I think LWJ needs to snatch more wigs LITERALLY.#Yes I'm delaying the part where I have to address the emotional turmoil of Jin Ling stabbing wwx. It gutted me terribly.#What is worse that realizing that someone you respected has done horrible things#than discovering someone who did horrible things being a kind and trustworthy person?#What is more horrifying that realizing other people are extremely complex and cannot be categorized into black and white?#When people hurt us or our loved ones we very much want to make them out to be irredeemable monsters. But they are not.#It is not actually such a terrible fate to just be a person. To be forgiven and forgive is possible. To change is possible.#This lesson is hard. It is something you have to actively challenge yourself to do. Black and white is the innate path to go down.#And its *why* I love Jin Ling so much. He is the character who fights the longest and hardest to challenge social and personal beliefs#He gets a pass for stabbing wwx for being so deliciously conflicted and tormented by it.#And with wrists THAT limp I can't imagine the wound was particularly deep
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no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal
#bg3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for#a bowl of beans when we first met'#and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally#oc: impulse#sure this'll go in their tag#everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then#really funny again if you think about it even longer#one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending#i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong#impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person#tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people#you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as#sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings#not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more*#if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges#and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human#connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they#were never the person you became friends with at all#and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were#friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't.#so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too#they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even#think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN.#very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.#and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope#i'm unwell.#ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained
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Every character in Mob Psycho is so lonely at the beginning of the series, but they all express it in different ways so they don’t realize they’re all dealing with the same problem!
Mob makes himself small and quiet and blends in and does his best to never make a scene and never ask for anything and never think about what he wants. Reigen makes himself big and loud boisterous and takes up as much space as possible--but it’s all show, it’s all slight-of-hand, it’s a magic trick so everyone looks where he wants them to and he doesn’t have to risk anyone seeing through him. Ritsu makes himself perfect and dutiful and studious and pours himself into the mold of A Good Son, A Good Student, A Good Brother, and thinks that if he buries himself deep enough no one can touch him. Teru makes himself sharp and brilliant and frightening and puts himself at the top of the pyramid and convinces himself that it’s a feature that no one can get close to him. Dimple does the same thing--makes himself into a god and a monster, someone who only sees humans as pawns. Never equals. Never friends.
Everyone has walled themselves off from genuine connection, convinced themselves that there’s an important reason they’re alone that isn’t just that they’re afraid, and the series is about all of those walls being torn down, bit by bit. There are a million ways to be lonely, but the solution to all of them, every time, is vulnerability and kindness.
#mp100#the Themes . . .#everyone can parallel each other because everyone has THE SAME PROBLEM#no matter how different the mask they put over it is#the only answer is to take off the mask!#and it's scary and it gets you hurt so you can't do it with everyone#but you have to trust people!!#you have to trust the people who love you!!#you have to acknowledge that the ugly parts of yourself are no worse than the ugly parts of them#and trust them with it!#god i wish i wasn't cursed i could be so fucking coherent about this
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For anyone else who is gonna struggle surviving the next 3 weeks with the angsty and tense situation of Callowmoore here's a few things from the last 2 episodes that I feel were underrated and will assist in trying to keep me sane/emotionally stable:
- Matching messed up hands built for holding
- Fearne nervously playing with her hair as she approaches Ashton
- Ashton wanted Fearne to be either the last thing they saw if they died or the first thing they saw when they succeeded
- Fearne's admittance corroborates Ashley's 4SD revelation that Fearne is in love with someone in the party but doesn't know how to process the emotions
- Fearne wanted Ashton to be happy, while Ashton wanted to feel whole so they would be worthy of the Hells
- Ashton twice tried to lead a search for Fearne, and instantly clocking onto Chetney saying he followed Fearne
- Fearne making herself look as radiant as possible before giving Ashton the cold shoulder
- Ashton only rose to Chetney's provocations until he said 'You hurt Fearne'
Use how you will
#godspeed my poor damaged psyche#critical role#bells hells#callowmoore#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#fearne x ashton#ashton x fearne#strangely enough I don't enjoy having a dark and sad pit sitting in my chest day to day#3 weeks and we don't even get a cute M9 reunion in between to distract us? this was worse than Callowmoore's sistergate 3 week wait#also 'a little'? Sweetie people don't jump into lava for a little you got the big L and it's not Lesbian(s)#Feel like Laudna was a bit cruel this ep (Ash has been there for her a ton and she kinda villainized him) but we'll put it down to Delilah#much of Ashton's trauma has been overlooked or left to them to internalize but still nobody has told them that they are loved#and Ashton Greymoore needs to be told they're loved! (by Fearne)#but yeah time for more positive mental scenarios that 99% won't happen (but when that 1% does ho boy)#couldn't have just had Fearne go 'no talking' and sleep on Ash's chest to hear their heartbeat as her touch soothes Ash's pain could we?#or final fight scenarios where Ludinus is a walking harness and Ashton tricks them into absorbing their titan powers so he'd explode#they could've even had a talk in the woods because they wanted to find her so bad but was not gonna test Imogen's patience#I for one though will have at least one where Ashton seeks out Mori for advice (Fearne too but separately)#Tal I need you to use all your romantic arsenal in the feywild (Percy's worst travel experience) to win back Ashley's beautiful faun girl#bonus prompts for 'You will always be perfect to me' and 'Promise you'll come back to me' they pop up often in my scenarios#taliesin jaffe#ashley johnson
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People who are worried they aren't helping with climate change or any other big world problem bc they do something like make video games or art or are a cashier at a grocery store:
You are helping. You are making the art that helps me, an environmentalist actively working to restore biodiversity and ecosystems, get through each day. You are helping those of us on the front lines enjoy living or take a well-needed break. The person loading my groceries into my car is making it so I can eat that week and have enough energy to do my work. If you want to do more, you can volunteer, donate, and boost the voices of local community leaders working to protect and restore the local ecosystems, but don't feel bad if you can't. We are all in this together.
#the only people who should feel bad are the ones actively contributing to the problem more than anyone else is#i mean rich people who take private jets not you who threw away a plastic bottle instead of recycling it#and fill up their giant swimming pools during droughts (and dont even swim in them!!!)#i personally chose my field bc i didnt want to stand by as all this bad crap happened#and because i love being outdoors and i love critters#but everyone elses jobs are important too#even people who cant work are valuable bc you give us a reason to fight for a better world for you#eventually i may have to stop working if my health gets worse but that doesnt mean i wont be valuable#i hope this makes sense#ramble#conservation#environmentalism#save the earth
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The reason this fandom hates IDW Optimus isn't because he's a cop (plenty of people are fine with Prowl) or because he's a bastard (most characters in IDW are) but because he commits the crime of being an actual person who's messy, flawed, and makes a shitload of high stakes mistakes fitting for the intense situations and pressure he's put under constantly.
But we can't have Optimus actually react to his situations by lashing out or being unpleasant, no, he has to have the personality of a cardboard cutout of G1 whose only defining personality traits are "dad, funny, nice," and if he ever vents negative emotions it can only ever be #relatable depression or him being sad on his own without ever letting it show during the important parts of the story. If Optimus dares do things like be angry or frustrated or bitter it's just a sign that he's a bastard and LITERALLY the worst Optimus ever. If Optimus ever makes mistakes or does wrong things in the heat of anger/frustration/stress it's because he's just an evil bastard with no redeeming traits.
God forbid Optimus go through an unending gauntlet of war, politics, atrocities, near-complete loneliness, and a seemingly endless cycle of violence for his entire life and come out of it kind of bitter, angry, and tired of dealing with people's shit. He's not allowed to be a realistic person, context doesn't matter, sympathy doesnt matter. IDW Optimus doesn't fulfill the fandom's fantasies of Father Figure or Perfect Cultural Icon or Twinky Fucktoy and since that's the only reason most people care about Optimus in general, the fandom collectively trashes on IDW OP.
All because he can't fit into the overly simplified and childlike double standard the fandom has where if any other character is messy and flawed, that's good writing and interesting and compelling, but if OPTIMUS is messy and flawed, he's Literally The Worst and he's an asshole for no other reason than He Sucks, context be damned
#squiggposting#ive been here too long and seen the same shit too many times#i'm tired of going 'maybe it's just a difference in taste' nope#the issue is literally just double standards and people not reading the text or taking things out of context#and the worst part is if this were just something OP haters did i would get it#after all if you just dont like OP then of course you arent gonna find anything interesting or compelling#but i see this shit from literally other MOP fans who supposedly love M and OP#but their OP takes are shit and i can count the no. of people who write IDW OP on one hand#i kind of thought that at least among other OP fans there would be deeper readings but if anything it's worse#fandom OP content is 50% haha funny dad jokes g1 knockoff OP and 50% yaoi uke twink sad baby OP#so unimaginative. so fucking boring. so immature#to style yourselves some sort of mature TF fans and then viciously reject the One OP who#dared to be written a little darker and more flawed than any others#it's literally just people refusing to give a chance to any nuanced take on OP#they just want him to be There and Nice and for his biggest flaw to be Being Annoying About Equality or something#might delete later might not
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I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.
Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.
If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#this is one of the big reasons i was ashamed of admitting when i am in pain#and it's one of the reasons i was ashamed to address the pain i have#and i'm angry about that actually! nobody should fear being labeled as essentially having munchausen syndrome because...#...'young people NEVER have pain or disabilities and you're a liar!'#i really do want to start addressing my pain because i know it's not normal but holy shit batman it can suck sometimes#i honestly like talking to my dad about this because he also has a lot of pain (moreso than i do now) but he actually TRIES to listen...#putting this in the disability tag but i still don't feel right about labeling my own pain as such...#...but i know so many people with disabling pain who would relate...#...maybe it's internalized ableism on my part or maybe i just want to be respectful of people with worse pain#this is me really just reflecting on m the fact that i haven't ever had an amazing body in a lot of ways (though i am lucky still)#i'm still thinking about having an emergency cane to help me get up when my pain is bad but idk if it's worth the investment#so if anybody reading this has suggestions (esp. for those with back pain)... please hook me up i will platonically love you forever
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Little Bits I got from the hangout (Spoilers for Kaeya’s Hangout)
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Things in parentheses are my own thoughts rather than canon stuff.
- Kaeya is a very kind person at his core. Both to those he loves and total strangers.
- So many people love Kaeya. From the staff at the Winery to the KoF to the citizenry of Mond to mild acquaintances to total strangers, Kaeya is truly loved by those around him.
- The KoF are all co-parenting Klee together, though they disagree a bit on exactly HOW to parent her.
- Kaeya is a great schemer but he TERRIBLE at coming up with fake names (Albert Rich...really?)
- Kaeya was a very shy child while Diluc was rambunctious. Diluc would get them into trouble and Kaeya would go along with whatever Diluc wanted. (I hope that we get a bit more of their dynamic when they were younger explored and that we see more of what Diluc did to be a good brother to Kaeya)
- The entire winery loves Kaeya. Not just Adelinde, not just Adelinde and Elzer. Everyone. They watched him grow up into the man he is today and they consider him a member of the family.
- Adelinde has covered for Diluc and Kaeya’s antics in the past. (probably why she’s so adept at covering for Diluc’s darknight hero stuff.)
- Tunner knew that something bothered young Kaeya, that there was some sort of deep-rooted issue that it’s implied Kaeya never talked to them about. (If Tunner knew, it is very likely that others at the Winery knew that this kid had TRAUMA. My guess is that at some point somebody brought it up to Crepus, who had noticed something similar, and he then asked Kaeya about it. Whether Kaeya confessed at that point...IDK)
- Klee is the cutest thing to ever exist and she loves Kaeya so much (that is not opinion, it is fact).
- Kaeya sometimes forgets which lie he has told to a person before and uses it twice. Diluc WILL call him out on this, before inevitably capitulating to whatever Kaeya asks. (Standard older sibling behavior, you put up a fuss but ultimately you will do literally anything to make them happy. It’s why I think Diluc is the older of the two, even if Kaeya also has many older sibling traits).
- Kaeya got sick fairly often as a child, but has grown up to be healthier. Adelinde took good care of him whenever that happened. (Chronically ill Kaeya truthers rise up! Also, he was probably sickly because of a few factors: not having the immune system for Mond’s diseases, probably living in the Abyss, probably having malnutrition, he was abandoned in the MIDDLE OF A STORM, and because winters in Mond are harsh).
- Adelinde knows exactly how Kaeya likes his food.
- Adelinde cares a lot about how maids are supposed to behave, but only on the surface level. If Kaeya can word something correctly, she’ll happily capitulate.
- Kaeya knows a lot about the winery business. (Supports my personal headcanon that Kaeya was supposed to take over the Winery’s business after Crepus’s death, but then the fight happened).
- Kaeya loves to act and would consider doing it full-time. He is also apparently very good at it (wow shocker. Boy who was raised as a child-spy and is constantly lying is good at acting.)
- While onstage, Kaeya is allergic to subtlety. (I love this. 10/10, throw off the shackles of destiny and toss a prop into the audience).
- Kaeya doesn’t like to bask in the glory of the good things he does, sneaking out just as songwriting preparations are getting good (Kaeya is also fairly shy at his core, but the persona he’s formed won’t allow for that).
- Kaeya is known to be thoughtful and is a good gift-giver.
- Venti wholeheartedly accepts Kaeya as a child of Mondstadt, considers him a friend, and wants to see him throw off the shackles fate placed upon him. (I actually liked Venti a lot this hangout. We get to see him be silly but also wise, understand how he feels about the whole ‘worshipping Barbatos’ thing, and watch him encourage the creativity of others. Plus, imo this hangout basically confirms that Venti 100% knows about Kaeya’s predicament and more than anything wants to see that Kaeya is happy and cared for in Mondstadt).
- (Kaeya at least suspects that Venti is Barbatos. The way the english VA acted things was a little too pointed to seem like genuine lack of knowledge about Venti’s identity.)
- Barbara cares about family the most, to the point that she will suggest that over even the worship of Barbatos himself (this is unsurprising, but also very sad considering how rarely she and Jean get to interact as sisters).
- Diona will sing hymns about fish-related foods and Venti 100% supports singing about that over Barbatos (also unsurprising).
- Diluc CAN AND WILL kill anyone who harasses his staff (somebody please draw fanart of Diluc fucking bumrushing poor Captain Wu to defend the maids, the image is simultaneously sweet and HILARIOUS).
#kaeya#genshin impact#kaeya hangout#kaeya hangout spoilers#venti#bro this hangout made me like Venti so much more#adelinde#mvp#best person in the world love you ma'am#tunner#getting a lot of development for random NPCs was not was I was expecting but I 100% support it#diluc ragnvindr#he is also a fundamentally kind person he's just worse at it than Kaeya is#I would also kill anyone who tried to harass the winery staff Diluc is so right for that#klee#she is the star of every show#like...this post is about Kaeya but everything I do is about Klee#I also now want to write about how the KoF co-parent her and what that looks like#idk I just love how much Kaeya is loved#like...people write Kaeya angst all the time and I like it and I write it too#but sometimes I just want to see characters be soft and show kindness and then RECEIVE that softness and kindness in return
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i think i’ve learned a lot when it comes to not applying my own values to the media i consume
for my script analysis class yesterday, we discussed two gentleman from verona, and nearly every classmate of mine was up in arms about how sexist the story is.
and i'm not saying it's not, or that it's not infuriating to read. but i'm also not putting my energy into getting upset about something written 500 or so years ago. and i'm not about to put my own beliefs onto these characters that are not me. i'm going to let their choices speak for themselves, and interpret it in the context of the story.
all that said, this now brings me to the point of alastor in episode 5, and how viscerally people are responding to it. those of you up in arms about the choices he’s making, and the violent threat he gave husk, you’re missing the entire point of his character, of this place they’re in, of the story being told. he’s an overlord, and he became an overlord by killing much bigger overlords and broadcasting their deaths over the radio.
HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON.
if you started this show with the belief that every character working the hotel is a good person, you’re in the wrong place. watch the good place if you’re looking for a good wholesome story about getting dead sinners into heaven, because that’s not what this show is about.
you’re more than welcome to hate him after seeing the way he exerted power over a being whose soul he owns, but you’re doing the media you’re watching a disservice by writing it off so quickly. if you don’t like to be uncomfortable watching media, watch something else. this is an uncomfortable show, it handles uncomfortable topics, and it’s going to be an uncomfortable ride, and if you’re not up for something like that, then you should take a break from it and pick up something else. you don’t have to get online and defend your own ideals while you watch a show that goes against your ideals.
#hazbin hotel spoilers#that’s not even touching on the fact that husk was an overlord too#he also owned souls that he used as currency to supply his gambling addiction#he’s also not a good person!!#the majority of these characters are in hell for a reason: they’re not good people#i quite frankly love the way this show blurs the lines between good and evil#our heroes are sinners and overlords and demons. while the enemies are angels. but that doesn’t mean our heroes are good people.#you HAAAVE to come to terms with that!! you have to stop seeing the world in black and white or you’re not going to survive this world#if you’re upset because alastor was cruel to husk fine! be upset! but explore why you’re taking yourself out of that world.#in this world sinners own other people. there’s no ifs ands or buts#‘oh alastor is a poc why would he own people’ he was a serial killer when he was alive do you really think you can apply your values to that#(and this is me speaking as a poc. specifically a mixed race poc.)#i cannot speak to who vivzie is as a person. but i’m interested in the message she’s writing and thus far i’m finding it compelling#it’s a similar story as the good place but it’s going the distance to explore even worse people than those in the good place#i don’t think it’s responsible to write something off just because unsavory things happen in it.#and she’s giving us so many different types of representation that don’t involve race (although we’re also getting a lot of hispanic rep)#just like cool your jets and maybe process some of the anger you’re feeling. and maybe nothing will change.#but if you act. instead of react. if you understand why you’re feeling some type of way and then make a choice.#that’s so much stronger and more responsible than reacting and not thinking anything through#hazbin hotel#alastor#husk#hazbin alastor#hazbin husk#anyway let me get off my soapbox#long post
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tbh the more setting details i notice the more i realize how the other Vees are signaled as complicit/participant in Angel's abuse.
It's not just Velvette's 'love potion' being used in an attempt to roofie him out in the world - it's a huge poster of her advertising the 'love potion' put up in Val's studio, notably paired with a Voxtech 'Trust Us' poster on another wall. When Vox is walking past posters in his first appearance, Angel Dust posters are noticeable, along with a Love Potion advertisement that features both Val and Velvette and a poster that just seems to be for the Vees in general. When Angel backs away from Val in his dressing room, a scene where he's been taken out of sight of Charlie and is alone with Val - up pops a Love Potion on his dressing table to one side of him, and a Voxtech camera trained on him on his other side. The other Vees are present, in spirit. When Vox and Val fuck off at the end of Poison (and there's YET MORE to be said about that moment) and Angel finally has his moment of genuine breakdown, there's a Voxtech camera in the foreground pointed at him. Even when he's 'off-camera' he's not safe from observation, and even when he and Val are 'alone', the other Vees are there.
also Velvette is wearing the same outfit she's wearing in the Love Potion poster as she is in the finale, I don't think that necessarily means anything but well. i noticed it
#the vees#angel dust#hazbin hotel meta#happy days in hell (hazbin tag)#abuse mention#cw abuse#mainly been noticing the hell out of this bc of the handful of people who'll be like#'i like the other vees but not Valentino i hope they get rid of him/leave him etc'#bc the implication is always 'valentino is worse than the other two'#but like. aside from their own terrible activities it really is crazy how much 'no comrade. OUR abuse victim'#shows up in the setting and staging details#which i love. they're all SO awful and SO tight-knit i am foaming at the mouth to see more of them next season#but also goddd Angel's life somehow gets Worse every time you pay closer attention. baby.
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If you go with the theory that Dazai came from a super rich family and changed his identity once he was no longer with them, what if Bruce had met Dazai before he was Dazai?
Lol the whole "rich old-money Tsushima family" theory is very beloved to me, though im not sure how true it will end up. I have this inkling that Dazai's backstory is Not as dramatic as other's characters, but also at the same time!
Theory that Dazai was a rich kid with his parents having been tied in some way to the mafia (just like the Wayne family!) and then they suddenly die and at somepoint he is put under the care of Mori who's a trusted personal doctor of the family (and runs an underground clinic JUST like Leslie Thompkins, the Wayne's trusted doctor who runs an underground clinic on Park Row), and gosh thinking abt this potential backstory, dont you think about how if Alfred wasn't around, and Leslie was more of a control freak, she and kid Bruce would have marched up to Carmine Falcone's bedroom, slit his throat, and taken over the biggest organized crime family in Gotham. Oh. That's a cool batman au wait.
Ahh well anyways. Bruce meeting kid Dazai sometime during his misc. time going around the world and learning different fighting techniques and kid Daz or Shuuji or whatever being the. troubled. kid he is gets absolutley facinated by Bruce's quest for justice or whatever.
#NO NO BUT HEAR ME OUT#i have this theory:#Yokohama-elite Tsushima family gets tragically killed.#young shuji gets orphaned by the horribly traumatic event. his depression gets worse. his entire sense of morality gets tilted on it's axis#and shuuji is a smart cookie! he knows his family's money isnt honest. and his parents were involved with the port mafia.#and he knows that the Old Boss. who's been on a paranoid reight of terror in yokohama was responisble for his parents death. and he wants#VENGENCE!#well less death bc to dazai there's nothing more painful than losing the people he loves!! so he rather die than experience any more pain#enter Mori! who saves him and probably mentors him in many ways and shares his sentiments abt the mafia's Boss. so! he stikes a deal#'i'll take the knife and you can just watch. the port mafia will be in our hands in no time' dazai goes along with this plan because#a. he doesnt care either way b. he wants the man responsible for his parent's deaths dead. therfore! time to welcome the new leadership!#<- thus making dazai Asagiri's take on batman#ask
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hey lads if you’re not gonna comment on a fic you enjoyed, at least leave a kudos man
#delete later#on like half of the stories i've written on ao3 or more#i don't even get 10% of the viewers leaving kudos on my work and that's just kinda tiring man#we've come so far from the fanfiction.net days where writers solely thrived on comments and private messages to KNOW if their work is well#received by the online people#now you can just press a BUTTON to know that you enjoyed a story and it only takes like half a second!#there are so many people online who are constantly BEGGING everyone to PLEASE comment or review or let them know somehow that you've enjoyed#their work because we get so little feedback often and it is demotivating af#but if you're not gonna comment AT least leave a kudos rather than staying silent and consuming the stories like it's nothing#one thing i loved in the beginning of the ml fandom was how interactive everyone was with fanfics and how it had such a positive status#people were happily reblogging and leaving kudos and commenting LOADS back then#now???? it's literally SILENCE#back when my writing was worse prepandemic i easily got hundreds of kudos in a few days#but now i'm struggling to reach even 200 kudos in three months on my newer oneshots#engagement rate is soooooo bad now and it's demotivating af#i think this is why i prefer to write and send drabbles on discord because people there do respond and react to my works and it gives me the#push to keep going
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the thing about aplatonicism is that just like aromanticism and asexualism, it doesn't inherently mean you don't want friendships, every individual apl person has different needs and wants in regards to friendship and each person will go about it differently.
I for example am aplatonic and don't specifically feel platonic attraction as in, i don't feel a drive to befriend people. I don't get "friend crushes" or ever get the desire to befriend specific people. I am personally, very open to the possibility of friendship if someone else approaches me and we vibe. I am not platonically attracted to them, but I also do get enjoyment from socializing with others in that way and can become attached to them, etc. Platonic attraction does not equal caring about someone/being good to them. Attraction is not moral in that way. it just is.
Just like how some ace people still enjoy sex, even without sexual attraction. Some aplatonic people still enjoy friendship, and some don't. And that's okay! There are so many types of relationships out there that people can form and explore what makes them happiest and it looks different for every person and that's such a wonderful thing.
#my husband and i are both aplatonic and it manifests in VERY different ways for each of us but like. its neat its cool#i don't have many friends bc i don't seek ppl out but i love talking to people. i am a very social anf i like to think friendly person#i also have incredibly strong morals about treating people with kindness and trying to make the world a gentler place.#bc platonic attraction does not determine how good a person is or their morals#you can have 0 friends and still be a good person who treats people well#we NEED to get away from the idea of 'person with no friends = bad'#bc like. its a bad concept. its inherently flawed and bigoted and shit. tbh#the power of friendship isnt the most powerful thing actually its not any worse or better than any other relationship#friends arent worse or better than romantic partners or family or coworkers or strangers#its just another relationship and subset of attraction and putting it on a pedestal isnt a good thing actually#just how ace advocacy that relies on claiming romance is the best thing in the world is flawed#aro advocacy that claims friendship is the most important thing is just as flawed#all are equal. theyre not better or worse just different#rot posts#anyways unprompted apl post its just been on my mind
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i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.
#it wouldn’t have to change any of the actual plot of the season. except MAYBE amy’s choice but even then i think amy’s choice would be the#one episode where they should be adults. if only for the half where they live in a village in that dream.#because that’s the kind of future that children would dream up. they live in a little cottage and nothing ever goes wrong and their best#friend visits them all the time even though they’ve grown up.#they aren’t actually adults there just children with an idea of what they should be as adults and acting accordingly#and it would still end the same way.#but idk its just. rory’s 2000 years waiting for amy inside the pandorica is already tragic. yes.#now imagine its a kid. a kid in a little roman soldier helmet who will never grow up. who will not leave his best friend.#he loves her and she’s more important than the whole universe and that sort of love is supposed to MEAN something in a fairy tale!#its supposed to melt the ice out of hearts and transform people from stone.#and what that love means here. is that he will have to wait 2000 years. a child and a box.#little rory and the amelia who followed the doctor’s letters to the pandorica. and she doesn’t recognize him again.#and amelia in the pandorica… 2000 years a child trapped in a small box waiting to be rescued.#s5 is already fucked for them but it could be worse. it could be so much worse.#and it would make the doctor choosing to take her place in the pandorica to save the universe later even better.#because who else but the doctor would put the fate of the universe on the shoulders of two children and realize much too late what a#monstrous thing he’d done. and still have to hope. have to hope. that amelia would remember him fondly enough to bring him back to reality.#the logistics of all of this would have been a pain lmao. child labor laws in acting and all that.#BUT. hypothetically. it would have slapped.#doctor who#amy pond#rory williams#<- also this entire time ive been referring to him in my head as rory pond so much that i fuckin. forgot his actual last name.#and then like if you want them to be adults in s6 or whatever you can just timeskip to them getting married and still have amelia remember#the doctor there. it would work. it would.#amelia pond au
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I know everyone likes the "Fenton parents are dead/evil" route to drive Danny to Gotham, but I propose: "the Fenton parents have to send Danny away to keep him safe/cut off contact (since they're technically contracted to the government and the GIW is the definition of shady and spies)"
#the bee talks#dp x dc#if you cant tell im tired of every fic/prompt going “the fentons are evil :) and danny had to run away”#yall can push danny to gotham without making his parents evil.... im just saying (as someone who loves emotional angst and what's worse than#his loving doting parents having to come to terms with their halfa son and send him away with no one else to watch over him?!?!?)#or alternatively ppl could always do the “they're in a coma and the giw are after us”#the lack of evil parents would also make more sense for danny to willingly get adopted? (if they arent evil then no bad parent trauma)#but also a delicious conundrum of “i have parents (but for safety reasons i can't have them)” and “oh kinda vibing with wanna be parents”#no hate btw!!!! its just very overdone!!! and i feel like people are forgetting how much maddie and jack love their kids above all else!!!#i love a good angst as much as the next guy but i gotta have variety too
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