"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"
dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.
but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.
the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.
so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.
we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.
now leave us alone.
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[🦇 / october 2023 ] commission for @renkindle !! 🍜 (they/them for left, it/he for right)
[ID: a digital drawing featuring two portraits of anthro characters with sharp, stylized black linework. on the left is ghostie (they/them) a dark teal colored fluffy dragon wearing a black shirt with a grey hoodie underneath. on the right is ren (it/he), a fennekin wearing a beige shirt, a teal short-sleeved hoodie, and an olive plaid bandana. ghostie rolls their eyes, saying "in the mood for 'men, huh?" to ren, and ren looks back at them with a smug smile. (in this context, 'men is short for ramen). /end ID]
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Too 5 horniest sex scenes
There were actually a lot of really solid sex scenes this year. For you, I will cheat and add extras.
Masumi and Ritsu in College in The End of the World With You
I actually think these are better in retrospect because we got to see what these two look like ten years later.
Yang and Phumjai Knocking Down Their Own Store in Love in Translation
I just know this was a fantasy for Yang and he absolutely still has that footage somewhere. They both had beds upstairs!
Namnuea Showing Sailom the Real Him in Wedding Plan
We did not get enough focus on characters who have experience sharing that with each other.
Kim Sung Min and Yoo Joo Hyuk in Love Class 2
We don't often get solidly built boys together in BL, and once again we got two men who knew how to fuck going at it.
Boston and Top in that Car in Only Friends
Top was trying to send that boy into orbit the way he jackhammered him! You know Boston's ass was clean and ready for this moment that he orchestrated.
That First Night Between Nail and Him in For Him
Nothing like a rebound hookup. Bonus if he looks exactly like your ex, amirite??
Saengtai Blowing Patts in La Pluie Ep 7
There's an extended version of this in the special episode on iQIYI. You should check it out. My man Patts was about to lose his mind in this and got what he needed to keep going.
Kon Diao and Yi on the Couch in Naughty Babe Ep 6
Let us never again mention the thumb incident in episode 8. Instead, let's talk about Kon Diao taking charge in this scene and blowing Yi so good that he had to keep his socks on.
King and Uea Explore Kinks in Bed Friend
King was trembling in anticipation when he shared this with Uea.
Ask Me Top 5 BL 2023 Anything
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Random BL Superlatives: 2023 Edition
It's the end of the year and I'm feeling the need to give out some awards! We talk a lot about best show, best actors, best writing, best directing, blah blah but I gotta be honest, these are the categories that really spoke to me this year. In no particular order:
Best supporting garment: Porsche’s sweater, A Boss and A Babe
Did I create this entire list just to have an excuse to post about this sweater one more time? Maybe so.
Best performance despite a terrible wig: Daou, Love in Translation
This man managed to perform one of the hottest scenes of the year with that bowl cut monstrosity on his head. Respect must be paid.
Best new terminology: BGP, Bump Up Business
BUB gave us so many gifts, but I will always be most thankful for the business gay performance concept (BGP), a term that is highly relevant in discussions of the bl industry.
Best advice: "Unfuck it," Tien in La Pluie
It's not only the succinct phrasing, but also the delivery method.
Best ex who deserved better: Alan, Moonlight Chicken
Yes, I will be staying on the Alan apologist beat in 2024, thank you for asking.
Best unexpected needle drop: Wetter, The Eighth Sense
The moment this show captured my full attention.
Best WTF ending: The End of the World With You
You can probably still hear my scream of "WHAT" echoing in the hills. (Actual ending not pictured in case y'all decide to watch).
Best gut punch line: "Have you been well? Without me?", Our Dating Sim
Sure Shin Gi Tae, Lee Wan deserved it, but did I??
Best adorable child: Tane, Our Dining Table
Need I say more??
Best weapon: sparkle murder dust, Khun Chai
Truly the MVP of this show. I can't find an actual gif of the dust in action (too violent to be depicted) so enjoy these pretty men instead.
Best great character trapped in a bad show: Boston, Only Friends
My beloved, I will seek vengeance in your name.
Best use of music to fuck me up: Plumeria, I Feel You Linger in the Air
Cocktail and Tee Bundit, you know what you did!
Best meal: Chicken curry and cheese naan, What Did You Eat Yesterday?
Yes, this category is kind of a cheat so I can mention WDYEY on this list. And what about it!
Best unhinged energy: Nawin, Laws of Attraction
He may not have succeeded at stealing back his man but he certainly stole the show.
Best bl horror: Grand Guignol
I just need to make sure all you jbl fans know that this movie exists and that Issei fucked Mr Unlucky!!! IYKYK.
Best character comeback: Phupha, Our Skyy 2
From boring stoic love interest to actually compelling and kinda funny leading man! See what a little flirting with Pat Jindapat can do for you?!
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