This Wednesday I've watched Wonka. And just have one thing to say:
This was the sweetest film I've ever seen in my life. Chamalet's Wonka will guarantee you a large dentist's bill, and the fourteen songs that play through the movie are worthy of a butterfly-worthy belly ache. That is not all, Mr. Bean and Hugh Grant are here as well!
I do believe Timothee is about my age - his career began in 2018. After all, most actors began acting by at least 15-25 years old, for example, Johnny Depp, who also played Willy, was like 16 in Nightmare on Elm Street! Just remember: if the film's opening/closing credits say "introducing X", that means is somebody's first debut.
In conclusion, I highly reccomend this movie. Not for the diabetics/allergics to sugar though! And bonus points...it shares Paddington's director and Harry Potter's producer.
Hope you like it!
Artwork (c) @CreativeCuquiLu
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (c) Warner Bros. Entertainment
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (c) Warner Bros. Entertainment
Wonka (c) Warner Bros. Entertainment, HeyDay Films and Village Roadshow Pictures
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (in general) (c) Roald Dahl
WATCH IT - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MyrGe8-9M0
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Necron characters scored on how well they can hold their liquor:
Imotekh: 6/10 Above average but has less of a constitution than one would think. Needs nano scarabs to keep him from getting drunk too fast. Gets real mopey when he's sloshed
Szarekh: 11/10 Has been drinking away the horrors for millennia, does not intend to stop now. Constantly searching for stronger stuff, might actually try to hit up Slaanesh if he gets desperate
Trazyn: 9/10 life of the party, tells the best stories, unfortunately gets stuck with an incredibly depressed and somehow mostly sober Szarekh at the end of the night
Orikan: 1/10 Much worse at holding his liquor than he thinks. Either violently angry or violently horny when drunk but there's no way to know which it will be
Phillias: 8/10 drinks most anyone under the table but you can detect her foot subtly tapping to the music halfway through the night. By the end she is doing karaoke
Anrakyr: 7/10. Good but not the best. Usually winds up as the DD anyways
Zahndrekh: 8/10 but acts like a 4/10 because he likes to have a good time and if he is silly enough people will buy him drinks
Obyron: sober but enjoys the mocktails Zahndrekh insists on ordering for him
Szeras: 3/10 and he will make that everyone else's problem
Zultanekh: 10/10, perfected the art of drinking, even Szarekh brightens up when Zultanekh hits the bars
Oltyx: -13/10 He still gets carded. Manages to get through one beer and then is immediately on the floor
Yenekh: 2/10 would be higher but he is doing shots early to try and get the courage to ask Oltyx out before Oltyx passes out in a corner. He has yet to get the timing right
Lysikor- ?/10 Somehow everyone else winds up drunk while he is inexplicably sober
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WWE Final Result: Eventually, There's Only One Left...
And the polls are closed.
It has been a wild week, and these thirty-two wizards have sure been through some situations. You've cheered! You've cried. You've laughed, I hope. You've written glorious speeches, made videos, edited memes, and shown off some impressive artistic prowess. To get a bit sentimental here, it was a joy and an honor to campaign alongside and against you all, and to see what awe-inspiring and absurd things you have created in defense of your wizards.
But as it always must, it has come down to one.
Our winner of the World Wizard Entertainment is, with the power of friendship, comedic bits, and unstoppable tiddies: Caleb Widogast.
Here is the trophy, it's leaving my hands— and— it's already gone. Does anyone see Mrs. Brenatto? No? Okay.
The Keeper of Scrolls has kindly invited the competitors out for drinks on the Por'co tab before hopping over to Tal'dorei to clean out Mr. Gilmore's shop of arcane foci, so there will be no opportunity for autographs, and if you are looking for glorious goods, I suggest you try the Marquet locations.
All four of Pumat Sol will be out of commission for a week—that shopkeep parties hard.
(Oh no, yeah, no one's dead, hahaha, when I said there was only one left you thought—? oh boy, no, these weren't death matches, you're thinking of Garyon Garrington's Plunder Games. No, they're not airing right now. Something about a lawsuit, I think.)
If you would like to relive the saga of the World Wizard Entertainment, you can find those posts here, along with the original rankings, methodology, poll results, and campaigning. Do peek through the notes for more spectacular commentary, as it is delightful. (And if you would like to see even more of the absurd and wacky content that did not make it into the main tag while I was trying not to clutter things, #VETHSWEEP.)
Now please check your DMs, as one lucky winner has been chosen... to pay for my ensuing therapy bill! This kind of mental tenacity ain't cheap, folks.
The Ultimate Losers tournament commences on Thursday, March 2nd, at 7pm PST. As if defeat at the hands of a kind, underappreciated teacher and animal lover wasn't enough, Ludinus Da'leth is coming BACK FOR MORE against the Bells Hells!
And lastly, thank you all so much for participating. I know some of us have had our differences, but now, at the end, we come together—and if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's Veth Brenatto's Big Naturals.
(Wait— Sorry, who's calling? Say that name again. Vinni— Vince? Vince Mc—? Nah, don't recognize him.
Put it through to voicemail.)
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LOOK AT THEIR HANDS
XIE LIAN’S MAKING A KITTEN PAW
AND IT’S SO SMOL IN HUA CHENG’S PALM
AND HIS FACE IS SO CUTE
/pterodactyl screeching/
THIS WHOLE MOMENT IS SO ADORABLE
LOOK AT MY BOY
HE IS SO SHY HE LOOKS AWAY OH MY GOD HE IS SO
S O F T
XIE LIAN IS SO CLUELESS
SO CUTE
AND THEN HE LAUGHES
I’ve been holding back my screaming about Xie Lian in the previous episodes
BECAUSE THIS IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE, HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY EPISODE
The way Hua Cheng is looking at him
He is so in love
And it’s so understandable
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Here is also a bonus quicky Wonka because yesterday I watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and I have to say one thing. I've developed a new crush, and his name is Gene.
No, seriously. Gene Wilder as Mr. Wonka is too damn cute. As sweet as to fill your entire toothset with cavities, and his two shiny piercy blueberry eyes make my tummy ache with love!
And the best part about this movie - you can watch it on a sigh. And Gene's voice when singing World of Pure Imagination 🥺🥺
Hope you like it!
Artwork (c) @CreativeCuquiLu
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (c) Warner Bros. Entertainment
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (c) Roald Dahl
Also, prepare for a s🍫tload of AI generated sillyness where he is featured as well.
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Well, I got to see Wonka tonight. As an eternal Gene Wilder fan, since his Willy Wonka is what I remember as a child, I have to say this version was pure magic.
Well done, Timmy.
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