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pacifymebby · 1 year

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peaky blinders hc for what it would be like to be dating them/married to them!! xx

So i did married to them, hope thats alright xx

Tommy

🌿 Determined to make sure things are different this time, good and true, he wanted to marry you with the gypsies. So you had your wedding in the fields at the Golds settlement.

🌿Dangerous goes without saying, naturally, however somehow its worse than you imagined. You always thought Tommy was being dramatic when he said it would get worse once you were married

🌿 But it got worse, there have been multiple attempts on your life and Tommy is more protective of you than ever

🌿 He doesn't always show it in the best or most romantic of ways, sometimes he stays late at work, hours late because hes trying to pull together a plan that will keep you safe. He doesn't tell you often enough that its you hes thinking of, its yours and his future which keeps him going.

🌿Puts a lot of pressure on himself for things to be different this time. Hes been married in the past and failed to treat people right, he won't let himself go wrong again.

🌿When things get bad and youre scared - though you try to be brave for your husband - Tommy tries to get you to talk to him and admit your fears, says its good to be scared, shows youre still innocent, shows you're still alive.

🌿That kind of talk scares you more though and so he ends up bringing you into his lap/arms, cradling you to his body and whispering promises to keep you safe, to never leave you.

🌿Tells you stories, that if things get really bad you'll get a wagon together and dissappear never to return. You'll chanhe your names, leave everything behind, just you amd him together. You know it will never happen like that but the story comforts you every time.

🌿 Doesnt involve you in the business at all, determined to keep you pure and innocent. Even if he knows deep down its impossible.

🌿Spoils you, mostly with pretty jewellery and animals. Buys you dogs, always takes you with him to buy horses.

🌿Has a horse he keeps just for the two of you and takes you riding as often as he can.

🌿 Sometimes in the summer the two of you dissappear for days on that horse, living like gypsies where no one can reach you. These are his favourite memories. Brings himself hell from the rest of the family upon your return, but its worth it every time.

🌿 Youre one of the only people who can talk any sense into him, hes always talking to you about "mutual respect" and how hes heard its the most important thing in a marriage. So whenever you argue, and if you step out of line, he'll stop you and remind you.

🌿 "What is it we have love? Remind me eh i think I've forgotten?" "respect Tommy," you sigh. "Mutual respect, that means it goes both ways... Right," he pats your cheek lightly, his cheeky smile gets under your skin "that'll be that then eh."

🌿 The longer goes by the less he feels haunted by Grace. You're a mother to his children and he talks to you all the time about having a baby with you. Whenever you have sex he tells you thats what he wants.

🌿 Still calls you his angel, still believes you were sent from heaven to heal him.

Alfie

🐻 Good, quiet, stable and steady. Alfie treasures you and isnt going to let anything happen to you. Which means you lead a remarkably quiet life for a ganstas wife.

🐻 He keeps you out of business, and for the most part, keeps himself out of business too.

🐻 He made a joke at the wedding saying that if anyone tried to joke around and ask if he was the father of the bride, he'd cut them. You know he wasn't really joking, you know he occassionally does worry hes too old for you.

🐻 "Sure you wouldn't rather be out there with handsome young men your own age?"

🐻 The plain and simple answer is no... The longer answer is still no, but followed with lots of questions. For one, why on earth would you want to be with any of those arrogant younger men who waste all their money on snow and whiskey, who dont care for their women and sleep around... Your alfie is so good to you, devoted to you, takes care of you, hes your gruff and grumpy bear. You like thats hes a little old fashioned, that he has manners, that hes your old man.

🐻 Takes baths with you, candle lit, when the rooms all steamy he makes you lie back against his chest whilst he washes you. He hums you little tunes, tells you he thinks hes gonna write an opera one day. You joke and ask who will be his muse, you or tommy shelby. And when you make jokes like that he takes your wet hair and wraps it round his fist, tugs on it gently but harsh enough to pull your head back so that youre looking up at him.

🐻 "Remember our rules right ziskeit, you don't mention the name of the devil, we dont talk about cursed men right in this here home of ours" its like hes almost superstitious about it. Doesnt want you to say Tommys name because the man is cursed and the curse catches.

🐻 When you apologise you kiss each of his finger tips.

🐻 He bakes you bread (actual bread) all the time, especially when hes stressed, the kneeding is theraputic for him. Sometimes he gets you to help him, teaches you the proper way to do it with his hands over yours.

🐻 Eventually you move to margate together, he likes it better that way, thinks you can really be safe, thinks you'll finally be away from Tommy Shelby for good. He misses his old friend but he's glad to keep the curse away from you.

🐻 Can't sleep at night without you resting your head on his chest. Likes to comb his fingers through your hair until he falls asleep.

🐻 Likes to help you dress in the mornings, brushes your hair, lets you teach him how to make it pretty, but complains his fingers are too big and clumsy, not dainty like yours. But you like it better when Aflie does your hair for you, you feel prettier knowing his hands made you up like that.

Arthur

🍂 Tumultuous to say the least. This is one traumatised man and you accepted the ups and downs of your relationship a long time ago. Your one rule is that he never suffers alone.

🍂You want to go through everything with him, you never want him to be alone snowed up and sad drunk so even when he gets himself in a terrible state, even when he begs you to leave him because he doesnt want you to see him like that, you stay with him, you hold him whilst he cries, you weather his temper knowing he will never hurt you.

🍂 He does scare you, when he breaks things it scares you, but you know he loves you, you know its not really him but his illness, you've stood and watched him destroy a room before and then said "You gonna come here now and let your wife look after you?"

🍂 You hold his head to your chest and soothe him to sleep. Kiss his hair, tell him you know hes a good man. You tell him you love him all the time.

🍂 Despite the fact youre married he still has a complex, still thinks he doesnt deserve your love still thinks hes ruining your life, is terrified of corrupting you, but you never let those thoughts linger and refuse to take him seriously when he tells you.

🍂 "Dont be daft my darling husband, you deserve all the love in the world and I'll be damned if you get it from any woman but me..."

🍂 His heart is always in the right place even if his romantic plans dont always go to plan. Sometimes he buys you flowers but forgets to give them to you until theyve already wilted. Hes tried to cook for you and nearly set the house on fire.

You find it funny and endearing however, it means all the more to you that he tries so hard for you.

🍂 The sex is so good, and maybe a little relentless, because hes determined to be an honest man now he takes his full sexual appetite out on you and its exhausting in the best way possible. When hes pissed off you like to tease him into taking his frustration out on you sexually.

🍂 Naturally being the wife of a peaky blinder is dangerous, you and arthur both know that and your being so precious to him does mean that he is sometimes a little zealous trying to protect you.

🍂Men have lost teeth for looking at you.

🍂 And men who have actually tried to harm you... You didn't witness every death so you couldn't possibly say what happens to them...

🍂 Does make you feel powerful, you like how it makes you feel like a dangerous woman. You try to keep that secret though as arthur would hate to think he'd corrupted your morals in any way other than sexually.

John

🌼 John is a good husband because hes a good lad, a decent, honest, caring lad. He always did have a little more good in him than his brothers.

🌼 He takes being your husband seriously, he wants to provide for you, protect you, wouldnt see himself as a man if he couldnt keep his wife and home happy.

🌼 Wants a big happy family with you. Finds great comfort in sitting down at the kitchen table with all the weans running around, playing games like him and his brothers used to when they were kids, seeing you his wife there too. Its comforting to have this heavenly little bit of peace, even if its a kind of peace which is pure chaos.

🌼 Hes attentive, always checking in on his flower. He wants you to always be happy.

🌼 He's also still got the heart of a boy, hes childish and silly, likes playing games with you, will chase you around the garden, through the house, sling you over his shoulder when he catches you.

🌼 Plays with the kids, is a good father as well as a good husband, but definitely is the kind of father that ropes the kids into his tricks and uses them to help wind you up.

🌼 Cuddles up to you all the time, likes to catch your hand as you walk past him and pull you into a hug. Refuses to let you go, makes you put up a fight.

🌼 Lowkey always horny, is looking for any excuse and opportunity to fuck you.

🌼 Brings gifts back for you from the city, brings you flowers. Threads them through your hair.

🌼 Always trying to steal kisses from you.

🌼 At family meetings he stands by you, with his arm around your waist and his hand holding yours. He wont let anybody talk down to you. He takes protecting you very seriously.

🌼 Would throw himself in front of you, take a bullet for you, run into a burning building for you in a heartbeat. He takes being your husband very seriously.

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie is the sweetest husband and he takes being your husband very seriously indeed, sometimes a little too seriously, which is adorable.

🍀"I'm your husband, I've got to look after you," "Got to keep my lovely wife safe and sound haven't i..."

🍀Makes you all these promises of how your life will be when hes a world famous fighter.

🍀 Treats you like youre still courting, picks you wildflowers, takes pride in catching good meat for you. Brings you little gifts back from the city. Sometimes he steals you little gifts from the city.

🍀 A boy of tradition, couldn't see you the night before the wedding...

🍀 The wedding was in spring, it was pure and blissful, you danced the whole night with him around the fires. It was a raucous celebration by all accounts and when it came to consumating

🍀 Now he dreams of having children with you, wants to be a father to your babies so badly... And telling you that when hes burried inside you makes you both hold onto one another even tighter in your passion.

🍀 He used to be nervous to have you at his fights but now youre his good luck charm... Not that he needs any luck but still, he likes to be able to look over and see his little dove rooting for him.

🍀 You insist upon being the one to help him prepare for the fight, youre the one who wraps his hands carefully. You put your forehead to his and your noses brush when you tell him to make sure he wins. 🍀You also insist upon being the one to patch him up afterwards. He doesnt like you getting your hands dirty like that, says you shouldnt be the one cleaning him up but you always argue. "Womens hands are more delicate and careful than mens, and I'm not having any other woman back here with you..."

🍀Besides its a good way of getting him alone after the fight. You love seeing the animalistic side of him that the fights bring out in him and watching him in the ring makes you want him pretty desperately...

🍀 Especially because its the only time you can trick him into being anything but careful with you. You like how hard he fucks you when he's still burning with adrenaline.

🍀And then afterwards when youre both coming down together how gentle he is with you, how concerned he is that he might have gone too hard and hurt you.

🍀He'll hold you in his lap, still burried inside you, scatter you in kisses, especially if you happen to have bruises on your neck and shoulders from his bites.

🍀"I'm so sorry little dove, do you hurt?" "Its a good kind of hurt Bonnie, it feels good," but he'll make sure to kiss every one better multiple times whilst he tells you how precious you are.

🍀Its not that he's insecure, he isn't at all, he knows you'd never pay another man any mind whatsoever, but its the principle of things... He believes in his morals and traditions and thinks other men should too... You don't hit girls, you show women respect, you protect them... And you don't flirt with other mens wives.

🍀 So if someone isn't respectful enough of you for his liking, he'll teach them a lesson.

🍀 And when he catches other men looking at you with lust in their eyes, he makes a cheeky little display of kissing you and holding you and letting everyone know youre his.

🍀 Puts his cap on your head sometimes when youre walking. Just to let everyone know youre the wife of a peaky boy.

Isaiah

🐀No one thought they'd see Isaiah married so young, but when he found out you were carrying his child he didn't exactly settle down but he did show everyone how serious he was about you.

🐀His father did the ceremony, it was small but lavish. A family and peakys affair, with a roaring party at the Garrison afterwards.

🐀He has you give up working, won't have his wife and the mother of his child going to work when he can provide plenty enough for the three of you by himself.

🐀You worry about him a lot. Not because you dont think hes capable of looking after himself but because you know just how capable he is of getting himself into trouble.

🐀And he does get himself into trouble, especially over you, doesnt hesitate to pick a fight with anyone whose eye you catch, now that youre his wife he takes his role as your "protector" extra seriously, not only that but he views you as his property, and no one else should be laying a finger or glance at those which belong to him.

🐀You tell him all the time you wish he'd calm down a little, get into less scraps but he says "What kind of a husband would i be if i didnt defend the honor of my wife"

🐀Really likes reminding you that youre his wife... As if you could ever forget it. Tells you youre his all the time. Makes you tell him that youre his.

🐀"Who do you belong to?" when hes fucking you, "You Isaiah, you..." "And only me..."

🐀Just because youre his wife and an honest woman doesnt mean youre having pure and honest sex... Hes rough with you, fucks you hard and fast and mercilessly.

🐀Although he likes seeing you in his jacket, he sees it as a status symbol that his wife should have lots of glamourous things of her own, so you have your own coat, which he always reminds you to wear. "What kind of husband lets his wife leave the house half dressed?" you tell him hes being dramatic.

🐀But he doesnt see it that way, he thinks you deserve the whole world, all the glamour and riches you could ever wish for, he isnt going to give you and his baby anything less than just that.

🐀Is definitely a dominant husband, has lots of ideas about the way a marriage should be and he is determined to do things properly.

🐀Tells you youre the reason he takes on dangerous jobs, that everything he does with the peakys is for you, to get a better life for you and your baby.

🐀Doesnt listen when you say you dont need anything other than him, that you only need him alive and healthy and there with you. That success and wealth mean nothing if you can't have him with you.

Michael

☘️ He comes off as cold to you sometimes. He doesnt mean to but sometimes he upsets you when he gets distant, too focussed on impressing Tommy Shelby and living up to the family name.

☘️ But when he realises what hes done and how hes hurt you he softens and warms to you immediately. Doesnt apologise for the way he has been because this is Michael and he never apologises, but he does remind you why, tells you its all for you.

☘️ Youre not sure you completely believe him there, you know some of it at least is feeding his ego, he wants everything his cousin has and more, but youre happy to let him believe that you believe his lie.

☘️And he does spoil you, youre his wife and so you must have the best, be the most spoilt woman in the room, he buys you the most beautiful dresses, has them made special for you.

☘️ His favourite thing is to buy you jewelery, especially necklaces. He has you stand in front of the mirror and watch whilst he puts it around your neck and fixes the clasp.

☘️ Then he takes the rest of your clothes off one by one, until youre only wearing the necklace, and he fucks you in the mirror, "look at all these pretty things i own," hes talking about you, "my beautoful wife, isnt she good letting me dress her up and fuck her whenever i choose"

☘️ Loves the symbolism of marriage, that youre his property that he owns you and can corrupt you. Likes that youre a well behaved, good girl who does as her husband tells her.

☘️ Kind of enjoys seeing how other men lust after you, enjoys knowing that he really does have the most beautiful woman. If he catches tommy admiring you he is both smug and pleased with himself whilst also pissed off and possesive.

☘️ In other words he has crossed a line and threatened Tommy for admiring you.

☘️ He's arrogant and it gets him into trouble a lot. You spend a lot of time soothing his wounded ego and talking him down from potential fights and bad ideas

☘️ You use sex to distract him a lot, worshipping him and really showering his ego with praise.

#peaky blinders headcanon #Peaky blinders imagine #arthur shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #bonnie gold x reader #Isaiah jesus x ready #john shelby x reader #alfie solomons fanfic

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fatcowboys · 4 months

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i rlly kinda need fat liberation or body positivity or whatever to be so so so So much better about includong masculine folks in their resources and conversations.

ive rarely been femme even before i knew i wasnt a woman so its not like ive really had a bountiful access to fat resources aimed towards femme folks but god damn i have felt my options shrink even smaller the less comfortable i am with femme aimed resources and how out of place my body seems within so many of those spaces and resources. ESPECIALLY ones that can accomodate my trans body, tits (that i don't hate! and don't foresee going anywhere anytime soon!) and all.

i know how few plus sized clothing brands there are (not even getting into affordable + ethically made etc etc) but if the ones that exist its an OVERWHELMINGLY femme aligned majority that i feel miserable wearing without a lot of extra styling and modification work. or the amount of masc clothes in stock at plus size resale stores vs femme clothes. or if i am looking for style inspiration or folks speaking about fat liberation finding fit insp for fat women is easy! but i have a much smaller pool of fat masculine folks (who i treasure dearly!) that ive found and return to their content regularly because its so valuable to me because its often hidden under content that, while important, has limited usefulness for me

i find this extra prevalent in body positivity spaces, where it often feels like resources and information is shared with the assumption that its been shared to other femme folks and women without specifying that is who its usefulness is aimed towards. what triggered this post right now (although its honestly always lurking around the corner, watch out if you have a single conversation with me about fat liberation) was a post about body positivity where someone shared a resource of a website where you can put in your height, weight, other info and see people who might look like you (and make it easier to appreciate their body where you find it difficult to appreciate your own). and i thought thats a cool resource! i dont get to see people who look like me, hardly ever! lets check it out!

unfortunately what wasnt included was that the subtitle for this site is "what real women look like" so while there wasn't any info stating identities of the people shown on the photos, of the few i clicked through they all were femme and while they looked great, i didnt see anyone who i felt looked like me to get what i hoped out of that site. this would have been fine if the person had posted it had stated its target audience up front, but this isnt the first time, and wont be the last time, that i got excited about a resource only to learn it actually has very little that applies to me.

if you are someone who shares content about fat liberation, PLEASE consider how much content and resources you share that can be utilized by your masculine followers as well - and at the very least, please don't state something as universally beneficially if its not. i understand why there is such a focus on this considering the history of beauty standards applied to femme folks (and more). however im unlearning those too and now also dealing with new ones as i transition that are far less talked about and i just ask we give some space for fat men, masculine people, butches and more to also create space to deal with these struggles within fat liberation spaces. especially especially especially for fellow folks larger than small fats because the need only grows.

#okay to rb!#god this got so long lmfao but. im really really tired lmao.

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shwarmii · 9 months

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how can you like drunk angst over first kiss?? 🥺

anon is regarding this post here, specifically my tags

characters discussed belong to @dakotawritesif / @disenchantedif

omg, so easily lol

bc its not just drunk angst, it is drunk angst about knowing their ex is gonna DIE, UNNATURALLY, AND SOON and pining/having never made up with them

but also im an asmr/audio-roleplay connoisseur*, so like, uh, also the following here. yeah. this primes me up to LOVE drunk ex scenario regret/pining shit lol (you'll have to excuse all these audios being men btw, i have a soft spot for deep voices and there isnt many deep-voiced women VAs in the audio-roleplay community (unfortunately foR MEEEE UGHH), much less many that have a video involving this niche Drunk Ex trope anyway lmao rip (same with the audios all being either "for Anybody" or "for Females". i don't currently have any "for Males" in this niche, even tho im the type of enby that listens to all three types of "for [you]" audios. alas. boo hiss))

none of these are "Luci-Inserts" btw, moreso "Evidence of why OF COURSE I AM MORE HYPED FOR DRUNK HALLWAY OVER FIRST KISS", like a vision board kinda sorta lmao

When Your Ex Drunk Calls You (I Miss You) (Slurred Speech) (Funny) (ASMR) (M4A).. (Fun fact: this VA is Scottish. also M4A = Male For Anyone, not just M4M (male for male) or M4F (male for female))

(this one is by the same Scottish VA) When You Drink With Your Ex (Kissing) (Exes to Lovers) (Drunk) (Regret) (Wholesome) (M4A) (ASMR)

(more of this Scottish VA bc he makes me laugh) When Your Crush Drunkenly Confesses To You (Singing Idiot) (Taking Care Of Him) (Silly) (ASMR) (M4A) (bonus there is a morning-after part two to this one yay)

Your Drunk Best Friend Wants You Gor Valentines [M4A] [Tsundere] [Confession] [Sober Listener] (and this one has a part two about the morning-after too)

ASMR Voice: I Should Have Told You [M4A] [Drunk Voicemail] [Ex-boyfriend] [Missing you] [Regret]

Audio Roleplay for Women | "Orbit" | Drunken Confession

Audio RP: Your Ex-boyfriend Asks For Another Chance [M4A] (not drunk but i love this one) (also it has a part two as well yayyy)

this one ((M4A but he does say you have a "pretty face") bc i do like Luci being upset someone is going to hurt the MC) and this one ((M4F) because i like the frustration lmao rip) also fit the vibe but neither are drunk or exes lmao rip

like, you would think as someone who is chronically ill to the point that my meds say "absolutely no alcohol (and one used to say no weed, idk if im still on that one, id have to go check)" that i would not give a shit about drunk scenarios buT I DO LOVE IT IN FICTION SO MUCH. my irl friends also like getting drunk on/off, or high, and my forced sobriety due to meds (and also family history, let's be honest. i do come from a long line of addicts, apparently, best i dont get involved, and i never have been) means i get to play Designated Driver pretty often. so i do recognize some realities/fantasties in the scenario. but also, god, i love the trope because it allows for such forced vulnerabilities, i fucking love whump fics, and a drunk ex fic is really just a whump fic with no bruises

and, ngl, i do think it is more likely we will get a First Kiss pov somewhere down the line if it loses than i think we will get a Hallway pov if it loses

plus, they were like what, 10?? 11??? idk how old they were when Luci/MC got together. but i know these fuckers are fresh out of high school and Luci is getting drunk, which means biTCHES ARE UNDERAGE DRINKING (which is an interesting characterization for Luci that i think reveals a lot about the Rivera parents as well as Luci's connections to wealth/alcohol), so there is that drama of "hide, hide, hide!!" if nothing else

and, again, then there's not only the angst of "ah, my ex-partner and/or -best friend" and the wanting to make up platonically/romantically but there is also the angst of "i knOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON AND IM NOT READY TO GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS" kind of "lost time", "call for rain-check until you can't" angle too. plus, i could see Luci being protective or frustrated or terrified, there are so many fun angles no matter the platonic/romantic additional feelings involved. and, because of how this pov works, there isnt going to be a kiss or anything happening. so it's just going to be slow-burn (to friends or lovers, idk your mc) and pining (platonic pining is a thing), i love that for me specifically lmao

but i do, like, get it. i get what you mean. if i thought this ask was mean-spirited, i wouldve deleted it and not answered; but i read this as "lol yeah that is fucked of me huh lmao you right". bc, YEAH, first kiss is romantic, drunk in your shared hallways is NOT lmao rip but i dont care if its romantic or not, i care that its making my guts get all twisted up. and the angst of (1) drunk ex that needs to taken care of (or needs to run away from you, either or) (2) thinks youre going to be murdered/in an accident and die soon and (3) may/may not still be in love with you and (4) knows they dont have enough time to reconcile with you and make-up for lost time... ngl, that is going to impact me more than a first kiss. im ready for the tragedy. fucking love this kinda shit

also i have my own hcs about my mc, Giselle "Gigi" Kraven, and Luci Rivera's first kiss. so. that probably also plays a role in all this bUT HEY!! IM STILL TRYING FOR THE 50/50 LMAO RIP WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER, MY COMRADE 🤝 YOU GET (DOOMED) FLUFF AND I GET (ALSO DOOMED) DRUNK ANGST, THAT'S A WIN-WIN LOL

*i would like to add: i have no idea if any of these VAs have drama or something. i dont pay attention to the fandoms, except vaguely for Redacted Audios because of the theories and world-building happening there (which the video here doesnt have much to do with), but otherwise i am so fucking ignorant bc i do not look these people up, i just watch their videos. i have been burned too many times by the Steven Universe fandom and other such communities and whatnot to get involved in fandoms i am only casually into, so i just only stick my nose into fandoms/creators i am die-hard into and dont delve into the rest, thanks for understanding if i may be out of the loop ✌️

#shwarmi #me #disenchanted if #disenchanted #luci rivera #edit: ngl the Cardlin video (or however you spell his name) swuicks me out a bit bc he says ''[I miss] Your body..'' and i went #EW UGH GROSS GET AWAY FROM ME but it was two words so ill allow it to stay on the list bc not everybody is so anti towards the #idea of other people seeing them as sexy. gahh i hate being seen as sexually appealing. makes me wanna gag ugh #*squicks

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bulbabutt · 17 days

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I haven’t watched TFP, but I was curious about your tag mentioning the TFP hated women so much that it drove you crazy on your Arcee design post, so may I ask what you mean?

(And like, yeah, Transformers being misogynistic isn’t a big surprise, but I’m asking for the specific problems TFP has, rather than say TFA, which I’m more familiar with)

((Still really fucking pissed at TFA Arcee’s treatment too, btw))

OOF OKAY WELL LETS SEE HOW LONG THIS GETS

number 1: agreed on the animated arcee treatment. that show suffered from the blackarachnia versus arcee dichotomy of women, the good and the bad, on top of the using a womans tragic backstory to push forward a mans character motivation. they did it TWO TIMES, with BOTH their female characters. their characters dont end up being their own because their backstories both feed in to their respective male counterparts motivations (optimus and ratchet) and like...... while i LOVE animated they didnt do a very good job at all with the women (sari is more so a child character as a whole than a woman character, but also something something all 3 women are like biologically weird plot devices? so thats. hrm. also the oversexualization of sari when shes forcibly aged. also shes south asian and so the oversexualizing hits harder etc etc) basically its a whole can of worms but a good scene setter to talk about prime with.

so animated is cancelled because "the hub" network is making its own transformers show, but this ones written by the live action movie writers. uh oh. those arent written very well at all. i believe their intention was "you can write a movie but way longer and do more stuff" which isnt really... how that should work. anyway the way both minorities and women are represented by those bad movies is really bad, theyre very pro military anti minority conservative garbage that i genuinely think has warped a lot of young minds at the time and its a problem now. human women being objectified and placed as reward in the narrative and all that. robot women WE CANT DO ROBOT WOMEN THATS TOO CONFUSING!!!! oh ok you get one. ok she died. are you happy women? now a show written by them.

now on its surface, here we finally have a girl transformer in the main lineup, thats good! on its surface, arcee is a main character, a badass warrior. if youve been on my blog ive talked before about this weird mid 2000s switch up to making girl characters becoming less girly and more like. idk tomboyish? more cool and into guy stuff, that kind of comes about from the ALL MALE writing teams going "well we dont know how to write a girl/we dont wanna be sexist" but they dont actually know how to write women. so arcee's characterization is like. oh shes cold and serious and has a tragic past. its like a dude character, how do we write tragic backstories for dude characters? we fridge their women. so we just do that in reverse. what they did with her was give her TWO tragic backstories, one being that her "partner" cliffjumper dies and shes mad and wants revenge. and the other is that her "partner" tailgate dies and she wants revenge. basically her motivations allllll revolve around men. its not about what she goes through, its all about that she's a "woman scorned". its not even that it implies romance, the show never gives you a clear picture of what "partner" actually means in either context. this is topped off by pairing her with a teenage boy. in fairness, three of the transformers get paired off with a kid, but oh boy do a lot of problems arise from this specific pairing.

so number one: women being objectified is a problem in general, but it comes across worse when the woman can turn into a literal object and you dont think about the repercussions of that. jack darby sees a cool motorcycle parked and he just... he sits his ass down on it. it violates her personal space, and then he continues to use her body to show off to teenage girls. this is the basis of their relationship, that she looked like a cool vehicle he wanted so he claimed her. yes, he didnt know she was a person, but narratively we do. this will continue to be a thing over the series, arcee is jacks object now, he owns her and thus can use her to show off. what does arcee think of being used this way? not important. outside of her relationships with jack cliffjumper and tailgate, we dont really know a damn thing about arcee. its all about her traumas over MEN. be it romantic or platonic, the show cant tell the difference, because jacks MOM enters the picture like "you seem to be out late with some GIRL who is she" and thus there is beef between the two. because... you know women.

speaking of jacks mom: she should have been in the show as a regular paired off with ratchet. shes a nurse and hes an ambulance. are the writers stupid? its so fucking obvious. but no, she exists to have beef with arcee on behalf of being jacks mom. which makes it more clear that they're trying to say..... SOMETHING weird about jack and arcee.... aaaaaand then as a romantic interest for fowler. shes here because of her son and romance partner.

arcee is this cool warrior whos done all this stuff and is trying to keep the world safe and her people a secret, BUT JACKS MOM THINKS SHES IN THE GARAGE! so she better get back there for his sake! also shes so cool and level headed and doesnt want to drag race a punk kid who's making fun of jack BUT THEN HE SAID SHE WAS FAT SO NOW SHE CANT HELP BUT BE MAD! thats basically her personality as it stands throughout the show. oh she also makes fun of bulkhead for showing emotion one time. cuz like.... girls! being! sexist! to! show! theyre! cool!!!!

anyway. theres an issue with the writing of all the kids, cuz their plot relevance is really weak and felt super forced to keep them all in the story, many other versions of tf have done this better, but they basically force a relationship between characters and say "yep thats it thats the set up every child has their own pet robot, done and done"

one of these kids is MIKO. oh miko. in a world in which this show was good they would have combined the child characters and just had it be miko, because this poor girl is so disrespected by the narrative. she's presented as a "wild child" and thus paired off with bulkhead, whos a big bruiser who now has to act as her handler. she gets into trouble with the transformers a lot, like sneaking on missions and not taking the disguise part seriously. cuz like....shes stupid or something! haha isnt that funny! shes an exchange student from japan, she offhandedly says things about getting detention and things about her home stay parents being afraid of her. we get NO ELABORATION. we meet jacks mom, we see raf's family, THIS PART NEVER COMES UP AGAIN. miko clearly has no support system outside of the transformers, and she is often disrespected and made fun of by jack specifically and the narrative never makes him feel bad about it. each kid feels ownership over their robot, and the most change she ever gets to go through is having bulkhead almost die and so she's sad about it (also this is the only time she has a heart to heart with arcee. ABOUT A MALE CHARACTER) like if we could combine all the kids traits into one kid and have it be miko, a wild child whos good with computers and make june darby her home stay mom who eventually notices she keeps being missing that would make it way stronger of a character. also shes suffering from that alt asian girl colour streak syndrome, cuz she wouldnt be characterful enough if she wasnt also alt. if she didnt like punk music and monster trucks who would she be? the writers dont care.

and then for our LAST girl character we have blackarachnia I MEAN AIRACHNID. totally new character. uh. okay so you know how blackarachnia in animated was just like.... a succubus? which felt bad there? its worse here. shes a very one dimensional villain, which is fine, but they couldnt even keep her as being arcee's arch nemesis without literally redoing the same backstory they had just given her with cliffjumper. first they write cliffjumper as her partner and he's killed by starscream. then okay, arcee has an old nemesis from cybertron and thats airachnid what did she do? kill her PREVIOUS partner tailgate.

o_____O

you just....... you did it again? are you serious? they could only think of ONE way a woman would have any motivation and they just. did it two times. and they made that the basis of the whole beef, so even though this story could be the one to give you some toxic yuri ass relationship between these two women, it literally ends up being about men. AND THEN it's "shes gonna kill jack, arcees NEW partner"

do you see what im getting at? every woman revolves around men. they cant have motivations outside of men. they cant have any traits that make them interesting on their own. and even then, they dont know what to do with airachnid when she joins the decepticons so they just have megatron try to get her killed and she fucks off for a while, coming back to be turned into a LITERAL. LIIIIITERAL SUCCUBUS at the end. im not joking, they make her suck the energon out of men and shes on moon somewhere just doing that and thats how her story ends. like you can tell they casted a lot of bigger voice actors and had to get rid of them somehow but JESUS. double down on the issue with animated blackarachnia here ffs

aaaand. im pretty sure thats all the women. but yeah. none of them are well characterized, none of them have much agency if any at all. and on top of that, they are NOT allowed to be girly. arcee isnt pink PURELY because it would be weird to have a boy ride a pink motorcycle. arcee actually HATES pink (even though she is partially pink) and the writers literally make her say that. like why. just to show off "see shes not a GIRLY girl. shes just a girl"

like prime is bad for many reasons, like its depiction of disabled characters, turning bumblebee into raf's pet robot (who raf can magically understand without ANY explanation) without a care in the world for what he thinks or feels until he can speak again. like theres smalllll amounts of times he gets some good characterization, but for the most part he has no agency (see speed metal, an episode where jack asks RAF's permission to use bumblebee in a race, not bumblebee cuz he cant talk how could he have a choice). theres also weird characterization of bulkhead, which didnt really hit me until seeing him in RID alongside that grimlock, its only 2 black voiced characters who are very violent and clumsy and not very smart. uh. thats not good! there's also levels of homophobia to its depictions of starscream and knockout, things we can look back on now like "haha its camp" but at the time like. no they were writing it that way cuz its funny that they're queer. starscream being a complete fop IS the joke. calling him a "stiletto heeled freak" IS the joke. its a really bigoted show on top of just being written SUPER poorly. so you can all around TELL its written by the writers of the movies.

this got ramble-y but you activated my trap card, prime is the worst show because its presents itself as super cool and serious and dark while being written by bigoted idiots who couldnt write their way out of a wet paper back. "oh we ran out of money to pay this actor so we killed their character" THEN STOP MAKING BRAND NEW CHARACTERS MAKING YOUR TEAM DESIGN MODEL AND RIG THEM AND HIRING BRAND NEW PEOPLE TO PLAY THEM EVERY 2 EPISODES JUST TO HAVE THEM NARRATIVELY DO NOTHING AND THEN DIE!!! dumb. dumb show. dumb show so stupid. so stupid and it thinks its not stupid because its so so stupid. (doing the frankie from community bit cuz this is the way i calm myself down cuz the show makes me so mad because its so stupid lmfao)

#the tf binge thoughts #when i got this ask i said to the editor 'this is a worm on a hook and im a stupid little fish'#cuz i gen was like. hrm this could backfire on me but also. rambling on about shit like this is fuel to me and it was REQUESTED #so i gotta give the people what they want

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inchidentally · 21 days

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https://www.tumblr.com/inchidentally/747256567724965888/httpswwwtumblrcominchidentally74724237341699

Heyyy!!! Thank you for articulating this and actually, I think that’s eventually the plan. Look, my auntie used to work for two professional athlete as their social media manager (basketball players, 1 established nba starand the other 1 an up and coming nba player who is now in the nba). And i remember the up and coming nba star had a gf before and my auntie suggested to gently introduced her to his social media to curate a wholesome image for the player. You would think that that’s gonna “ruin” him for the fans (esp female fans) but actually, my aunt claims that introducing a long time gf in the picture will only make the female fans swoon. They like a good guy. A loyal guy. A wholesome guy. So that’s what they did. Just include her in some of the photos. Also asked the nba player to mention her more. And then get her more involved. She’s still private and their rs is still private but the fans know her and they have a healthy rs. Like they know that that’s her man.

Now, relating to Oscar. Remember he added a social media manager this year? Kym Illman talked about this in one of his videos. So obviously, Osc and his team are making deliberate moves to grow his social media following. What also *just* started happening more this year? Yes that’s right- Osc became more open to his relationship with Lily. He posts her more. He even tags him now. Literally the exact same plan as what my auntie did with the nba player. My guess/theory is they are going to gently open Lily to the public more. I think they are doing this delicately because this girl is not just some pr girl. This is actually Oscar’s gf for 5 yrs. So i think they are being very cautious about it. I predict that we will soon hear her voice and listen to her talk a little. Maybe just a short one but we will soon get to know her better (in a controlled way because i really think that Oscar and her want to keep their rs private).

But I agree. My auntie said that letting a longterm gf remain in the background and be mysterious is actually going to fuel more obsession. So giving the public just little bits of her and allowing them to get to know her personality better is a much better plan. It’s like eating small meals throughout the day rather than skipping meals and then binging at night. It also allows the gf to be less of an idea and more of a real person. Keeping Lily this “idea” can quickly become this overly sweet and toxic deification of her. She’s not an idea. She’s a person.

Also, it really helps with Oscar’s image. Trust. It also going to keep him out of the “gossips” and crazy fangirl interest/obsession. Since they like Lily and they like the fact that Oscar has been with her for 5 yrs, they are most likely going to not be romantically obsessed with him. They are going to adore the fact that he’s a wholesome guy and how lucky lily is to have a man like him. Instead of obsessing to be his gf. Something like that.

Also remember Nico Rosberg? Before he married his wife, he was with her for years and years. He is a party boy and yet we dont really associate him with the party scene the way we do with single Lewis. Lewis said Nico is more of a party animal than him and yet Nico rarely got that image. It’s cause the public knows him as someone who’s been in long term relationship. So Oscar’s team opening Lily more to the public (again in a controlled way) is good not only in making Lily less of an idea and more of a real person to the public, but also Oscar’s image. It keeps the crazies and speculations away.

I’m sorry I wrote a whole essay. I just read your opinion on this and I totally agree.

NO TYSM ANON <3<3 fr like I've always been invested in how the women partners to famous men are treated in any fandom and it's always seemed by far the best tactic to offer up a little bit of contextualizing her into the fandom space - while maintaining a healthy distance for her own safety/sanity - and then before you know it she's fully accepted and all the delulus move on to another rpf ship or another man they want to pretend they could somehow have for themselves.

"less of an idea and more of a real person" EXACTLY. like god of course she wants to keep people as much out of her business as possible and if ppl could be sane and normal then the ideal would to continue as is. but a part of keeping those boundaries from being pushed by fans is a controlled release of content rather than nothing at all. I'm hoping that's what is being built up.

and I totally forgot yea that he'd added a sm manager and that the opeightyone acc has become more active in the same way LN4 is where content can be released through those channels as opposed to their personal accs. I feel like apart from when his humor and sarcasm means that it's clearly him (and the emojis lol) he's pulled back for the most part from his public accs. it's a shame bc we won't get to see those interactions with other drivers anymore but w how much fame doesn't suit him it was probably inevitable!

#inchreplies #f1partnerstalk #and yea oscar is HumanTM after all and his bland image is thankfully all ppl seem to want #which is why they need to manage Lily's publicity carefully to continue that #side note that I love how Carlos is clearly the one wanting to be more public about Rebecca but she's adamantly not replying to his comment #or posting him #and remember how lunatics thought that she was charging for carlos content in ig #and they thought she was suddenly going to be posting him a ton and was paying ??? paps etc #but then she dropped it from her ig and they're still waiting for when she supposedly will start posting him for clout !!!#it's been a whole year but y'know they're still holding out !!

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transmutationisms · 1 year

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HI really love your thoughts on stuff. do you think succession - as a tv show with a script - makes all of its negative statements negatively or positively? this is something im having trouble with, specially with shiv and the overwhelming misogyny. i understand its quite literally real life. but they know the importance of media as a statement that defines real life - its sort of meta, but the whole thing with whether or not calling mencken, knowing it would affect politics, is something that can reflect on the show itself. i dont think i fully agree with what they do to shiv in the way they portray the misogyny. it feels like a "and thats how it will always be" more than "thats how its been". idk. maybe I just hate misogyny and cant stand to see that. but everything is a statement. what do u think?

well in general i agree that, yeah, the show is more interested in satire and criticism than offering any kind of imaginative solution or alternative. so, if you want to watch something that suggests alternatives to logan-style misogyny (& i'd understand why) then i think you're going to be dissatisfied with this show. like, obviously even with logan gone, his influence still haunts the company and the family, and anyway the broader structures of capitalism and its use / exploitation of women were always much larger than logan alone. all of this also applies to how roman and kendall (& to a lesser extent connor) are punished for failing to live up to standards of masculinity; logan feminised kendall to punish him for business failures and derided roman for what he saw as a more innate femininity that made roman disgusting to him.

i actually think gender is a strong suit for the show. it's very deeply interested in how they each relate to standards of bourgeois masculinity and femininity, and how these strictures are confining and punishing (often literally, as logan used them as tools of his abuse). for shiv she lived up to some of logan's femands for an heir (her emotional repression, flashes of killer instinct) but was ultimately always doomed by the fact that logan saw her as permanently being his little girl, denied a body (bc this was less disgusting to him than thinking of her as a woman) and never the right fit for his corporate mould, even when she was trying her hardest to fit it. roman and kendall ofc pick up on this and the way her gender can be used in itself to lock her out of the upper echelons of power (a walking pair of teats, all the men got together in man club). but ultimately this is a dissection of misogyny and masculinity, not a suggestion for escape.

i have mixed feelings about the sort of ethical argument here. it is fair to say that succession has a fundamentally conservative ethos in the sense that the satire and snark angle is uninterested in offering solutions or imagining alternatives. it's grounded in exploring capitalism, fascism, the resulting gender politics, &c, and to the extent that it challenges these things, it's by portraying them as worthy of mockery. it's not a leftist political treatise. but like, i think there's a can of worms to open here in terms of asking how revolutionary a television show is capable of being simple by virtue of the medium. like, even if the content is radical internally, does is matter that the form is still one embedded in capitalist production, ie, that the show is a commodity on the same market? i identify the root of misogyny within the capitalist mode of production; how far is something made within these parameters capable of going in offering any kind of alternative? and also, do we care? like, am i watching tv because i'm looking for radical politics? again, this doesn't negate the critique of succession's critique. but i do think it's a bit... trite? to ask tv to be some kind of moral guide---particularly on a show where the premise is such that any 'challenge' to misogyny would still be constrained within the bourgeois world the characters inhabit.

#he doesn't even trust water

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cbk1000 · 3 months

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HI!! ID LOVE TO KNOW UR THOUGHTS ON THIS (if u dont mind me asking)

Why do u think so many women gravitate or feel more comfortable reading/writing mlm fiction?

I don't think it's that they necessarily feel more comfortable reading/writing m/m fiction, I think it's that so much of media revolves around men that m/m ships are overwhelmingly more numerous because it's slim pickings for female characters. I saw a post on here a while ago that broke down all possible ship combinations using the Marvel fandom as an example, and there were infinitely more choices for m/m ships simply because there were so many male characters. Fandom is also a space, in my experience, with a lot of queer people, so I think a lot of what you're seeing with the preponderance of m/m ships in fandom is simply a lot of queer women wanting to tell queer stories, and having, in many fandoms, more, and more well-developed, male characters and relationships between men to explore. And too I think it might be that we see a lot of intense male relationships portrayed on screen, and have even coined a whole phrase, 'bromance', to make sure people understand that the romantic elements they're seeing are not, in fact, actually gay, because God forbid. I imagine seeing a story that looks queer, only to be told that it is not, is frustrating for people who have spent a very long time waiting for representation in media, and fandom gives them the opportunity to redo those stories by making them explicitly gay.

When we're talking about traditionally published fiction versus fanfiction, while I have read some gay novels written by men who, I think, are gay (I won't list them as examples of gay fiction written by gay men because off the top of my head, only one author I'm thinking of is for sure out as gay, and I'm not positive about the others, and it's none of my business how they identify), most of what's available in the m/m genre does seem to have been written by women. But romance as a genre has always been dominated by female writers. It's the one genre where they aggressively outsell male writers. Any romance, regardless of the sexuality of the main pairing, is more likely to have been written by a woman.

Also, I think, no matter how open-minded they are, straight male writers are less likely to write in detail about a gay couple. They might have a gay couple or character on the side, but most of them likely are not going to set out to tell a story about men being in love with one another. There will always be exceptions to this, of course, since it's a generalization, and Sebastian Barry is one such example of a male writer who, so far as I know, identifies as straight but wrote a novel about two men falling in love for his son, shortly after he came out as gay. But men, even those who are not anti-LGBT, have still usually been socialized not to act in ways that might be perceived as gay, and writing a gay romance is going to be perceived as pretty gay. So you narrow down your potential pool of writers a lot when you take out the majority of straight men, leaving mostly women, who don't have to worry that they'll be taken as a gay man if they write about one, and gay men, who are kind of, you know, already gay. Obviously there are a lot more female writers, gay and straight, than there are gay male writers, so again the chances of a woman writing m/m are just higher based on sheer volumes and the fact that romance stories are overwhelmingly a space made by women for women.

#writing #fic #slash

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neptune-ian · 22 days

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meant to add for my ask about relationships / soulmates etc. that society has made it so complex nowadays in terms of finding a partner, I do think older generations had it easier in that area as they did not have to try so hard and I do think so many women or girls try so hard to get guys attention or say they maybe want to manifest idols being their relationships it is like no one tries being single anymore or everyone is in such a hurry to get a partner even if they are young or naive. I kind of laugh sometimes when theres young idols and tarot readers make it sound like they go through girls faster than tissues if I were them dating would be the last thing on my mind as they have eons of time to date later on in life but again I think fomo is so real these days.

If someone else has an item then everhone else has to have it as well, if someone else has a partner then so many others want a partner and if someone else looks a certain way then everyone else tries to look or dress that way. like people are scared of being by themselves or if they dont have a clique they dont belong somewhere or if they dont have a relationship they must be always on trend or they have to have latest brand names, so no one tries to stand out anymore or just be themselves. and even tho we are often told to be ourselves it does fuck all to be honest cause like no ones going to give u any attention cause someone else will always be trying to get it instead

I remember being in school and seeing so many girls just getting into makeup and thinking I dont know if I need makeup im not overly pretty then my "friends" bck then would always be trying to get guys numbers and this was in mid 00s mind you so we were still somewhat using old phones and school wouldve been bedlam or hell if we had have smartphones back in those days. iPods were our main entertainment or distraction but even so there was still some

Social media, dating apps, going outside, LGBTQ+ clubs etc… for you to higher your chance of meeting « the one ». I don’t believe society completly made it harder but I’d say people did made it harder and less meaningful but I got you ✅. Example : (not exhaustive)

Dark feminine energy

(My butt yes…)

That’s one of the most stupid things TikTok/spiritual community and women have put in a high position. How come you have/should break men hearts because they are bad and you are good??? Why would you have to manipulate??? Why only showing your strenght and acting like a superhuman when you in fact need to be vulnerable (atound trustworthy people) and accept your emotions? Why fo you have to be « dark » to be powerful???? What’s the point of all that???

IT’S THE SAME SH*T AS « Alpha Male » 💀

Also the « baddy », « lady boss » thing where you only need money and to show off that you are « better » than every other human being and nothing else…

Light feminine energy

Same thing. Why would you have to be submissive to whatever people tell you? Why would you mostly refer to your womb and reproduction capability? Aren’t you more than just a walking huge belly? Or a poor docile looking thing? Aren’t you allowed to fight for yourself even if that means being alone against the world???

Tell me HOW are you supposed to create a genuine and long lasting bond when all you got to do is breaking people’s heart, treating them like less than human, your sexual objects, your slave, your toy, your garbage, your opposite and inferior being? Explain me how you are supposed to be open, vulnerable, giving, loving and supportive when you just act dense and indifferent toward the opposite gender (or same sex in some case though it’s seems more rare?)??? That does not make any freaking sense. Think a minute : will you dare tell me that being the dark feminine energy people brag about will actually help you having a good self esteem AND relationship? For the first option it may work but mostly on a superficial level ; you are not listening to your own needs. The second option? Dont even daydream about it cause it won’t happen.

Are you not allowed to dive into your OWN energy (be it masculine/feminine/androgyne)???? And stop showing how strong you are and finally allow yourself to open up to genuine people (that will one day or another come into your life)?

That’s what stops people from finding a partner, all they want is to perfectly fit into a « cool » and trendy category just to show off. That’s so stupid and I personally feel bad whenever someone rely (and relates) to those trendy things. (Dark/light feminity/alpha/omega/baddy/boss lady/mascu/incel…) - it also keeps perpretrating gender stereotypes.

#neptune’s talk #neptune’s anon ask

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freebooter4ever · 2 months

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Hey thanks I thought I was the only one who didn’t like the joke. Everyone laughed yuck

Ahhhhh yeah :/ i thought the joke was definitely funny, but with that harsh twinge of sadness at just how normalized and accepted this sort of sexism STILL is.

' i was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes, i get older but your lovers stay my age '

And its not necessarily a damnation of the man himself - obviously rami is a favorite of mine but i dont think hes ever dated anyone over 30 and is veering towards jake and leo disease too, and i still think rami is one of the most brilliant character narrative builders in the business currently - but its a damnation of a culture that treats romantic partners not as equals but as disposable play things with an expiration date. Look, i got flirted with by much older guys in pittsburgh all the time - usually it was cute, they were friendly, very complimentary and flattering about it, and they never treated it seriously or asked me out. Then i came to LA and the difference was night and day. Older (rich) men here feel entitled to younger women in a way that is frankly scary - at one point in a bar when a guy in his 60s was hitting on me my muscular male friend had to physically step between us and scare the guy off to get him to go away.

And it doesn't help that im sort of in the 'one of the guys' category, so i've heard the way these super rich dudes talk about the models they date behind their back while hanging with 'the guys', and, ugh, its not nice. I will say one thing for sports dudes - i imagine guys like ja*gr have way more respect for young women who are passionate about health and fitness than computer science executives.

But there's negatives in the sports world too - yall know how much i adore taylor. But even i recognize that she's not 'sports bro hot' - she doesn't have silicone, her make up is understated, she doesn't have that social media defined 'hotness' that sports fan dudes expect their sports heroes to date. So while i was naively scrolling insta looking for cute snapshots of taylor and travis being all lovey dovey at the end of the game, a good half the comments were men complaining about her. Saying they cant understand why travis is dating someone so old, that she will never be able to give him kids, that she's already showing her age (both of them are 34 btw). So far travis seems to ignore these types of comments but it would be hard to judge him for giving into peer pressure because this stuff is just so prevelant and exhausting.

And it does effect us older women - while i was dating Pilot Boy i was absolutely hyper aware of the fact that here is this rich, handsome, successful, and extremely smart guy dating beneath him. Like we bonded over being literally the same age - we had mutual friends in college without even knowing it. But i was always questioning like what does this guy see in me - why isn't he dating a gorgeous 25 year old whose only goal in life is to live on the beach with him??? Like he was honestly more the type of dude i would be friends with while he dates hotter women, lol. So i really was not surprised when he ended things (i was mostly sad that we couldnt stay friends and continue geeking out on airplanes and history together LOL), it just felt like it made sense, of course he wouldn't be serious about me, a guy like him should be dating a fresh, youthful, less bitter and cynical 25 yr old blonde. Six years in LA and this is just the pattern i see repeating itself over and over.

And im the romantic - when i fall in love its ALL in. Usually it's personality, usually its intellectual - that comfort in finding someone who just understands how you think. I love being so close to someone that you know them better than yourself, that you can communicate wordlessly. Shared humor, shared experience. As i age im learning that i actually dont pay much attention to the signs of aging when it comes to attraction - who notices wrinkles when what you're in love with is that look in their eye when they smile at you? The mental connection between romantic partners is the most important for me in my book. For me this typically means someone within the ten year range plus or minus - though i prefer it even within a five year age gap.

#But i also really feel for the women because when i was 22 i got myself into a relationship with a man a decade older #Who only valued me for my youth and tight skin #And even back then no matter how much in love i was (and i have since deleted all the posts but even after he dumped me i was still #coming on this blog sighing about how much i loved and missed him)#The feeling of being only valued for your youth was still skeevy to me #In the back of my mind i knew that this was a trait i was eventually going to lose because everyone ages #And i was not confident enough to think i would ever have any value beyond Young #And thats not to say there are not relationships with age gaps that are healthy - there totally are look at ally and justin they ARE love #Its just a very specific type of relationship where the older partner keeps dating younger and younger and only values youth #that creeps me out #And in our culture that narrative usually is an older man with a younger woman and i tend to side with the woman #THE GOOD NEWS is if you notice in the clips and gifs it looks like the younger guys on the pens are laughing a lot less than the old guard #i think the newer generation - the dudes in their 20s are starting to realize how shallow all this is and that things are changing #and that the generation of women after me will deal with a lot less pressure #At least i hope!!!#Jrnlsht #Sorry this got long

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magnoliamyrrh · 1 year

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When it comes to prison abolition I wish people would focus on specific crimes or types of crimes instead of this binary approach. There seems to be no space for nuance in western leftist thought these days, you have to go all the way in one go or it isn't worth doing.

Okay the current system isn't perfect but it's better than letting pedos, rapists and sex traffickers get away with continuing to abuse women and girls. Domestic violence too, there's just so many areas where justice already doesn't exist for victims. Until abolitionists can provide a good answer for those crimes they should admit that their theory doesn't yet work in every scenario.

Let's go back to focusing on drugs, theft and other crimes against corporations, the imprisonment of those suffering from severe mental illnesses and general anti social behaviour. Crimes where imprisonment does unjustly impact people's lives and we do already have noncustodial solutions we can implement.

"there seems to be no space for nuance in western leftits though" youre certainly right abt that and its annoying as all hell. there are prison reformers who hold more nuance on this generally, but many prison abolitionists act like they're almost traitors for not being fully on board

and it bothers me that the keep treating this part of the issue as some sort of annoyance, thing we can think abt afterwards, or minor issue. or on the other side they wanna treat rapists the same way theyd treat some poor person who stole food,,,,,,like no, all of these things are actually incredibly common, and sadism and predatory actions are not same at all as many crimes. as far as im concerned theyre much less explicable than even many cases of murder and i will 100% vouch for the reform of a murderer than a rapist, particularly a pedo. and my conclusion frankly is i dont think these ppl rly care abt the saftey of children, girls, or women much

like, as you said. ill admit any day the system is fucked too. and yes the system is the consequence in america of colonialism and slavery, and in many parts of the world the prison system implemented by imperialists has been a tool of opression. and yes the system puts at a disadvantage and targets certain kinds of people and for certain kinds of offenses it makes no damn sense. like i think were all on board with this part of things??? and clearly countries like the semi-socialist northern euro ones have shown that better, more humaine systems can be implemented. im all on board for reform when it comes to 98% types of offenses, and generally i think prison reformists make very good, grounded points which seem feasible. and they suggest changes which we may actually see in our lifetimes

but then prison abolitions want to take it to such...... levels that it stops making sense. to an extent i get it, like i definitely get wanting to abolish the system and implement something new, the issue is that that "something new" makes little sense when you hear them speak. because they define annny form of incarceration or being restricted in movement as prison essentially, and we must get rid of that. so, frankly, by their own logic i dont even know if they could force rapists and pedophiles into """"recovery programs""" for any period of time - maybe theyd just let them go immediately and theyd have to voluntarly show up our of their own good will 🥺 (im sure thats gonna happen) - because anything else would be taking away their bodily autonomy.. ...really, truly, even though these ppl call themselves leftists this is such a ??? western individualistic opinion to hold?? like putting individual bodily autonomy and "rights" in any damn case, no matter how dangerous, above the wellbeing of society at large strikes me v v much as western individulism taken to an extreme

.. they dont have answers. they just dont. its either deflection, minimizing the issue, acting like youre the crazy one for asking, or some completely unrealistic bullshit abt making these men see the light - as if they dont already understand they should rape or beat women and children - or reintegrating them into the same communities that they traumatized. prison abolitionists wont admit that they have no real damn solution because, like western leftits in general in most cases, they a)dont actually care abt feminism b)dont have a fully understanding of what theyre talking about and are just screaming slogans and saying what sounds good to be right and woke and make themselves feel good and enlightened c)are allergic to actual nuance and discussion or being challenged

it also pisses me off too because ive seen a lot of them pull that woke version of noble savage shit, in which they pretend like the nonwestern world or the world pre-colonialization was this lovely perfect place with no issues no violence and everyone sat in a field and braided flowers in each others hair and talked abt their feelings. or something. when in fact, the concept of punishment for certain things has Definitely existed pre colonialization??? for gods sake even chimps, apes, several other animals have a concept of "actions have consequences" and they punish, either physically or through social exile, members of their species who have crossed a line. Several native american tribes had quite physically harsh and borderline torturous forms of physical punishment for what they deemed to be crimes, or would exile ppl (which in certain cases, like in winter, may as well have been a death sentence for some). In phillipines before colonialization for certain communities the punishment for rape was death. For gods sake islam too,,,, like,,, have these ppl never read qur'an and seen that physical punishment is one of the forms of punishment prescribed for certain offenses which are seen as affecting community negativity? Theres obviously a million other examples out there. I dont know what these people are smoking to think that the concept of "actions have consequences" was invented by the white man or whatever

#anyway. sorry for the rant #youre right

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moonlightcookie · 2 years

Text

hey since there was recently a big ol Dramabomb on twitter over seamoon, i figured i would finally put into words how i feel about all this, esp the whole "toxic seamoon shipper" myth.

transcript under the cut

[transcript: anyway since i saw some more dumb shit this morning: lesbians being protective of seamoon isnt just us "making it our whole personality" (and even if someone were, who cares? not hurting anybody) or us thinking we're defending the honor of a fictional ship. i dont know how else to beat it into ur dumb fucking skulls that representation MATTERS. we get defensive we ppl wanna shit on + disregard canon lesbian representation bc there's so little good rep out there! especially coming from a huge franchise that isn't a childrens cartoon (e.g. SU, SPOP, TOH)

we get defensive when we see ppl treat characters we see ourselves in BECAUSE of their canon lesbianism like shit!! because to me personally, if u can't even respect fictional lesbians, how tf can i respect u to respect ME, a real living lesbian??

i honestly don't know how to make this any clearer for yall: we are NOT telling you that u HAVE to ship or even actively enjoy it. all we're asking is for you to respect it and the fact of it being canon, and ESPECIALLY to stop giving us grief when we say it's canon, since that seems to be the biggest issue with people for some reason?? just because a ship is canon does not mean you can't also ship something else, as long as you're not erasing lesbian rep (meaning Dont ship sea fairy with men, moonlight is less strictly lesbian coded so go ahead ig)

if you prefer one or both of them with some other women, go ahead. despite my personal feelings on it, it's not like... problematic or anything? i have genuinely NEVER seen a seamoon stan harass someone for shipping, say, bluemoon, kumimoon or sea fairy/ice captain. additionally, never ever EVER have i or even seen any other seamoon tell anyone to kll themselves over the ship. NEVER. if yall wanna claim that shit, yall gonna have to provide names and screenshots otherwise you're just talking out of your ass + only serve to further push the stigma of seamoon/its fans. i know seamoon is still enjoyed (or seen neutrally) by the majority of the fandom, but it still hurts to see such a vocal minority be so vitriolic about something that means so much to me, as a lesbian who sees a lot of myself in moonlight.

this is something ive had to fight for + deal w for at least 3 years, across different platforms. this is so much more than just a fictional ship to me (+ other lesbians), these two are a beautiful representation of who we are, how we love, and especially the hurdles we face in our relationships.

transcript end]

#moon.txt #sf #ml #seamoon #figured id post all this here too bc. its relevant! i was the one who got the whole toxic shipper thing started #all bc i made a post 3 yrs ago saying seamoon was canon #and ppl got mad at me and harassed me over it and i defended myself!

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foolish-moods · 1 year

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STOP substituting "woman" with "female"

for the love of whatever the fUCK is out there i am so sick of seeing and hearing this shit and it's gotten bad enough it inspired me to make a god damn tumblr

if you dont know what im talking about or do this but dont know why its bad then let me yell at you for a moment ok there are two reasons, lets start with the simplest: first reason!! GRAMMAR: there are two clerks, one is a man and the other is a woman, you dont know any other defining details about them cause yer blind and stupid but you gotta differentiate them so what do you call them?? man clerk?? NO it's MALE CLERK and FEMALE CLERK! makes sense cause its correct!! yeah good okay we established the proper use of the word "female" now lets move on ok two dudebros who paid for tater tot's course on not getting laid are hangin and one of them just went the bar cause people do that i guess and the other asks "hey did you meet any females?" THIS IS BAD why?? because "female" is SPECIES NEUTRAL female what? cat? bird? elephant? snake? you are speaking NONsense and lunacy you twerp that isnt how you formulate a proper sentence you are being DUMB do you say "male's clothing"? no you say "men's clothing" cause NO SHIT i shouldnt have to explain why it makes sense if you know anything about english grammar so why the fuck would you ever say "females" when referring to human women??? yeah alright buddy i hear you, context matters, no shit the dudebro is talking about human women there isn't any elephants in a bar (idk) so why do is it such a big problem???

Second Reason: Dehumanization

The modern popularity of using "female" in substitution of "woman" began amongst so called alpha male influencers such as Fresh & Fit and the now nearly household name Andrew Tate. Their absurd misogynistic ideology is painted in a veneer of masculine self-help, hustle culture, and playing the role of surrogate father figures for estranged and impressionable boys.

Knowing who these men and their followers are already gives a clearer picture of the reason behind the improper use of "female". Whether consciously or not, they use the word in place of "woman" because it is a quiet way of degrading women, speaking of them as being lesser. After all, female is not a human centric word, it is a descriptor that can be applied to animals and even objects. By saying something like "females are so annoying" they could be talking about dogs or women, implying the two are equal.

Even without the consistent vitriol that these influencers spit about women, their intentions are made more evident by the fact that they almost never substitute "man" with "male". They are consistent to the point that they will say "men and females" and it is not on accident.

Okay then, so what? Incels and their pack leaders say and do things far worse than misusing "female" so why am I nitpicking it in particular? It's because of their outreach. I think if you ask a teacher who Andrew Tate is there's a decent chance they'll know the name and that alone is awful. But if you ask them about using "female" improperly then I think you'll find them, and a lot of people, less aware of its insidiousness.

This is where my rant comes from, the wider usage I've been noticing happening among people who are far removed from self proclaimed alpha male influencers. I have seen it used by both men and women, young and old, in casual and professional settings, even by friends and family, and I've seen its usage increase as the popularity of these sexist influencers rise. It's not a coincidence, like a meme it spreads and although in only a small way it still contributes to the erosion of the the already fragile state of women's rights and social treatment.

All of this is perhaps less about the improper usage of the word and more about the further implications behind it. What does it mean if someone who is a kind and reasonable person refers to women as "females"? In my opinion it's a sign we need to be more diligent about the little worms that wriggle into our brains and effect our words, thoughts, and actions. Hopefully this particular instance of subtle bigotry will be ultimately short lived and have little impact, nevertheless, I felt the need to yell about it into the ether.

#women #female #incels #toxic masculinity #grammar #rant #ranting #dehumanizing language #self awareness #women's issues #social issues

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sereniv · 2 years

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Not a terf genuinely asking

Anon ask: if trans women aren't male what are they transitioning from

EDIT: Buckle up this is long. but i hope i was able to answer the question?

Ill reply about trans women but this obviously applies to other trans people too (myself included)

It can be complicated when it comes to sex and gender and what science says and what different societies believe.

Because science says "We have common combinations (what western society says is biological male/female) but there are also less common yet still significant combinations (intersex people/and others) that happen that boils down to male and female being a social construction rather than a biological truth"

And our society says "I lack the education and experience of those who fit outside what i believe is male and female, therefor i have a hard time being open to said education and experience. This is mainly because of colonization, white supremacy, and corruption (bigotry) in science.

So gender, how one presents ones self, gender roles, sex- the way we categorize these things are limiting, because it is a fact that not everyone fits in those boxes

Not to mention the more accepted trans, intersex, and other people who fit outside societies idea of male and female, the more we will see that its not small minority of people. They are not anomalies.

So what is a male? Society says its someone with XY chromosomes exclusively. Society also likes to say that someone born with a penis is male, someone with higher testosterone.

Science says, that there are people with different types of chromosomes makeup like xxy or xy females. People who have a penis but also a uterus. Someone with testicles and a vagina. Whos chromosomes can vary

And we still put them in boxes, and for intersex people that can mean invasive sex changing procedures without their consent.

No one is looking into what chromosomes people have, they just look at a childs genitals and decide by the vagina or length of penis/clitoris

So societies idea of male is limited and even new. Sciences idea is naturally complex, but there can still be bias within the community (as there is racism, sexism, etc)

So a trans women born with a penis and xy chromosomes. Society says shes male, science might put her in the category of male.

So to many, and maybe even to herself, a trans woman can transition from male. A sterotypical common combination of what one considers Male.

But what I like to think of in general, is that we should be born as people. A baby. A baby with a penis, a baby with xy chromosomes But what about male is so important?

Because when we say that one is attracted to men, usually what comes to mind is someone with a penis. But what if a man was born with a deformity, and has no penis? Or had to have it removed due to some disease.

Is he now not a man? Because some people (terfs) would move back to chromosomes, yet you dont know for sure what someones chromosomes are when you date

so what really makes a man?

Is it the roles one has? or the socialization? That changes from place to place from era to era.

So it comes down to, a human person with traits that typically are boxed together and labled Male.

We are born babies. and we should be taught the same values regardless of our genitals, and we should be allowed to wear whatever color or clothing style we want.

It all comes down to the difference between Male and Female can be vast and it can be the same and it depends on who you ask

So a trans women might feel that she used to me a man. That she was born a boy, and felt like a boy, up until she didnt. Realizing that the way she saw herself was different than how society sees her. And thus begins her transition from her definition and reality as Male, to her definition, and reality as a Woman.

On the other hand, maybe you have a trans women who was born a girl, but no one else saw it that way. And so by her definition and reality as a girl, transitions to what fits. Aka: She changes her name or goes on hormones or gets surgery or changes clothes or even just changes pronouns. Until she feels that it reflects how she percieves herself

Because at the end of the day, cis women can be hairy, they can be butch, they can have muscles and angles, some have no uterus some have no reproductive organs at all, etc.

But because people want to define womenhood by trauma experience, it warps into white christian view of what a woman is, which ends up targeting poc and intersex people.

What should define womanhood is euphoria. The fight for being a woman. Not trauma, but togetherness. And acknowledging that what society says is a woman is not a fact. Not by science, but more importantly not by reality

So yeah, sometimes trans women do transition from men. And sometimes they simply transition into what they need to be percieved as to thrive emotionally and mentally

Also something i forgot is socialization and the patriarchy. Terfs like to claim that trans women grow up male, but fail to understand that if applied to other scenarios it falls apart and just really isnt an argument

For example. Someone who grows up with heterosexuality everywhere, isnt socialized as straight, they are socialized with homophobia.

Even someone who might grow up a boy and identifies their past self as male, should not have to define the person they are today

Theres a lot of things we grow up with in this society, bigotry being one of them. This doesnt mean you grow up a bigot, but you grow up with it like on tv. All it takes is realization of predjudices or ignorance, to change how you view and interact with things

so a trans woman who identifies her born self as male, and so was technically socialized as male, doesnt mean that that is an inherent truth to her person. Because once she realizes that "Hey, actually I think im a girl" her mind has already started experiencing the constriction that is transphobia and transmisogyny. She notices bias that include her now.

Just because you are socialized one way doesnt mean it sticks, but it also doesnt define you, or doesnt have to be. Also socialization is complicated and has a lot of factors in it like how someone was brought up. did society socialize them or the parents or both etc etc.

Gender Euphoria will always top connecting gender through trauma. Because not every gendered trauma is the same.

Black women historically and now have had a very different experience than white women when it comes to misogyny, sexism, or even being seen as human let a lone a "proper" woman.

And historically, when white women were trying to gain rights they left out black women. so their womanhood is not the same pain and trauma and experience.

Thats why misogynoir as a term exists. Because the trauma that they face is different from the trauma that other poc face or white people. And that is just like the tip of the iceberg.

So instead, i think womanhood should be based in positive connection. That doesnt mean womanhood is always positive. but it means that the relation to each other is based off of euphoric sense of gender. If it feels like home, then your a woman.

Womanhood should be fighting for women, whoever may fit under that. Not truama as a whole (since everyones is different), but collective pride. It should be hearing being refered to as a woman and feeling joy and connection.

And what makes that different from any gender? you can just say anything and now youre it?

Thats whats so great about it. Its widening the spectrum of identity, yet still keeping connections under common frameworks.

Example: a cis woman, being happy and comfortable, resonates with other women in all forms, and is proud of who she is. Then shes looking around and she sees the cis men, and that community is nice but woman still feels at home.

then she sees the trans men. same thing, shes not a man shes a woman. Then she sees the nonbinaries, and that kind of calls to her

And suddenly, she has one foot in the woman community and one in the nonbinary. She now has a new community that she feels euphoria with and fights with but she is still a woman. She is both. Seperately and as one. And really only something she can experience, but she sees other women in front of her, experincing the same thing except in their own unique way.

And shes allowed this because she has oppened herself up to defining her version of womanhood without changing others, and if she had closed herself off and defined womanhood by her genitals or what she looked like or even the pain of descrimination, there would be people excludes from her idea of what the community should consist of, and then she would never feel that euphoria

and to only fight for one portion of womanhood. because once youve got equal marriage, gotten rid of sexism, then there are still racism left. theres still intersex people. you leave other women out of the fight because all of them isnt welcome in your definition.

if that makes sense

I am WAY off track lol I am very adhd and autistic. even reading this back its barely coherent so sorry. someone translate for me lol

but yeah, trans women transition from their former selves, to their current selves. And i dont think theres any point to looking any further than that

A trans woman is a woman, because that is how she percieves herself. Holds herself. How she connects with other women. Her experience of womanhood is inherent, because she is a woman.

#ask #anon #WHEW #i hope this makes sense i try so hard to be coherent #lol what if this didnt answer the question and just made things more confusing im sorry #theres a few things i can tell are just stupid but i can not change bc #ive overwhelmed myself by rereading what I wrote #its too much words

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onewomancitadel · 2 years

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thank You for answering my previous ask. Your reply was perfect. The "Jaune cant date Cinder kuz she a murder" argument was always so silly to me. They r trying to make some moral claim but it doesnt add up. Like what so the better option is to have Jaune become a killer by murdering her? Wouldn THAT ruin his character by their logic? I dont really get the stigma against men saving women either. I think the idea is that it makes men look like clueless simps and women look like useless idiots???

Hi again, no worries. (: Ask in question.

I mean to be entirely frank I've literally not interacted with a single person who has expressed these ideas to me about Knightfall (definitely Cinder though, and the idea that Jaune will kill her etc.) because I keep to myself on Tumblr. I've mostly only interacted with people like this regarding Reylo, but I've heard it all before.

I don't think it's really a claim about what stories ought to be told for the sake of preventating harm though, as I said in that post.

Like what so the better option is to have Jaune become a killer by murdering her? Wouldn THAT ruin his character by their logic?

Well, yes it would, but they don't understand Jaune's character because they've ignored every single scene he's in ever, as well as the entire point of the Haven confrontation with Cinder. They invented a different story in their head: Cinder is evil, obviously you're supposed to kill her, please ignore the point of Jaune's Semblance which is literally compassion and support as a superpower.

I dont really get the stigma against men saving women either. I think the idea is that it makes men look like clueless simps and women look like useless idiots???

'Simp' is one of the worst words ever invented. I don't like reading it one bit.

I think 'man saving woman' is a flat reduction of the Knightfall dynamic (as proposed) though, but I know what you mean. I don't know how we got to the point where 'You don't have to do it alone, let me help you and see you for who you really are and could be' is somehow a bad thing, but it makes me feel uneasy. It's just very strange that kill death murder is a more acceptable and 'less regressive' conclusion than like, connection.

But yes, there's an assumption there that it's foregrounded in misogynistic tropes, e.g. classic damsel in distress scenario. I'm not sure that 'simping' factors in (as in, as an actual influencing bad trope) since this, as a 'problem' seems to be a relatively recent (?) and bizarre idea - not sure how extending affection and compassion to a woman (aka the foundation of romance and generally relationships) is... behaviour to be looked down upon?

I also think these kinds of tropes are always contextually sensitive.

If anything I would put forth that Knightfall is specifically a relationship that would reconstruct the knight and Maiden in the tower trope (i.e. damsel in distress), especially as it's so literally reverse Salem/Ozma (the first maiden and knight). Especially because you've got the holy knight who is also Joan of Arc inspired (famously nonviolent) tied to the Maiden who is a maiden because Maidenhood grants magical powers. So yes, considering how traditional gender dynamics are influencing the pairing is worthwhile, but I don't think there's anything regressive here. Quite the opposite.

But as I said I don't think that's really the angle being argued from because trying to take it seriously when it's not about that will leave both parties dissatisfied. It's not really a topic I'm earnestly interested in debating.

The reality is that most of the people who take issue with Knightfall in this context probably want some other ship to happen or they don't understand Jaune's character and think that something textually rejected back in V5 (him trying to kill Cinder) will somehow happen. So if their interpretation is so countertextual and missing the fundamental themes of the show I'm not sure I'd waste time worrying about their analysis.

Obviously that isn't to say some people might take genuine issue with Knightfall but they're not the people I'm talking about. You're allowed to like and dislike things in equal measure, you just don't need to use pseudo-social justice rhetoric to defend your point. That's part of how we ended up with this mess. If it were actual earnest concern I might take such criticisms more seriously. But because they show their hand thinking that romance is regressive (?), compassion is regressive (?), and Cinder shouldn't be redeemed (?), I don't have reason to really care.

Thanks for your ask. I understand gossiping is fun and so is judging other peoples' opinions, but I also suggest you try to find a space where you're not being subjected to this stuff all the time. Unless that's your idea of fun. (:

#seraphina's asks #user: anonymouse #knightfall

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