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temporalteardrop · 3 months

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bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time

#me serving customers while chappell roan's red wine supernova is stuck in my head #me: yeah that'll be £3.60 / my brain: she did it right there‚ out on the deck: put her canine teeth in the side of my neck #rose's incessant yearnings #rose's gay little job #rose's ramblings

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mysharona1987 · 9 months

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#Lol #wine #twitter #humor #x

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mo-mode · 4 months

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AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”

Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”

#EVEN BETTER if Mr D tries to keep his cover by actually treating him like a son #Clarisse doesn’t mess with him cuz after the toilet fiasco Mr D is like “I will feed you to my cult young lady!! good job Peter :)#Percy is like “hey dad why can I control water “and Mr D is like …ever heard of that guy that turned it to wine??#Mr D: PLEASE just help me I can’t keep it a secret for much longer Mr. Brunner: you told him his brother was JESUS???#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson the lightning thief #dionysus #Mr D

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muppetsnoopy · 5 months

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they need to invent magic.spell that flosses and brushes my teeth for me and also tuckes me into bed soso cozy

#i.had wine tonite #and now im so comfy on the couch but i was eating popcorns so i must floss and brush and also couch is not bed :(#i need the claw machine (from arcade) to scoop me up and deposit me in my bed #thank u #molly is wineposting #xoxo

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blueparadis · 4 months

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when you sit on his lap, legs spread apart from each other, folded and glued along his thighs your dragon!boyfriend knows that it is time for some "instinct inspection" or as you like to put it but he knows that it will eventually end up being much more than that; it always does: either end up him getting hard when you are done or you hurt yourself spilling blood in drops. tsk, what a waste!

but today, it is going to be more than that. . .

"Say ahh," you would order, just like other days, before grazing your index finger against his fangs. At first, it does not grow, you just feel the sharp edge of his fangs on your supple skin. what a tease you are! It grows when you pull away your hand and adjust on his lap for a better grip and angle.

"Bad manners," you would say whenever you spot him letting go of his human form. he even remembers hearing that when he lowly growling in front of strangers who were following you the other night but at times like these, when the whole world is busy, when no one is looking at you two—he can let go of it; that carefully crafted camouflaged self to fool your kind and let his dormant side take over.

"It is just a bite," he would say after sucking your blood from your wrist as he held your arm by the wrist. But it is kind of frustrating, don't you think? how you are sitting on his lap, checking if he has hunted any animals or eaten your kind or not. And when you see he has been such a good boy, slowly learning to control his habits and instincts, don't you think it's a little unfair when you don't reward him? He licks the trickling blood along your hand from up your elbow to your wrist; you can see two dots, fairly distanced and round but somehow it does not hurt.

To think that you would teach him about 'control' and 'instinct', what a naive human being you are.

Even though you are still sitting on his lap, one of his hands holding yours from where he freshly sucked your sweet blood and your other hand is holding his yet you feel something tightening around your belly. You do not stop him as his tail wraps around your body, his eyes slowly getting to glow, his skin changing, shining but before he changes completely you kiss him, kiss him with full might as if you will do the moment your lips part from his.

And when you pull away, he just takes deep breaths and says, "One more time," gulping he adds, "Please," now how could you turn that down even though he has been quite rebellious.

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readerconfused · 3 months

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Mr D insisting that Percy's name is Peter and immediately afterwards yelling at the demigods to get the hell out of the camp I LOVE THIS GOD

#“are you still here?” D love you should be pretending you don't care about him #Dionysus i will be by your side always #f ck Zeus let me get D wine #the way a war happened and nothing shook him fills me with hope #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo series #pjo tv show #percy jackson and the olympians spoilers #pjo #mr d pjo

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crowleyholmes · 6 months

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Been working on this for a while and if I don't post it now I never will so here you go <3 enjoy the most self-indulgent thing I've ever spent time on - I just really needed them to hug...

#good omens #good omens fanart #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley good omens #aziraphale good omens #my art #neil gaiman #gomens #don't worry about crowley's wine glass #if there's now a wine stain on the floor #i'm sure they can miracle it away #<3

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itsafreetrialofdeath · 5 months

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my boyfriend husband doesn't believe that his cat bullies mine

pt. 2

#my art #they’re friends it’s ok #someone’s gotta keep him from stealing all of the wine #astarion #batstarion #tara the tressym #bg3 astarion #bg3 tara #bg3 #baulders gate 3 #digital art #baldur’s gate 3

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natjennie · 30 days

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he is so drunk girl at a party "you should dump your boyfriend" coded.

#the wine aunt energy. i love you chilchuck <3 #dungeon meshi #jennie reads dungeon meshi #dm spoilers

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fishermanshook · 8 months

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a new usual (yan!barmaid x reader)

content warnings: implied forced relationship, drug usage, shitty writing /hj, second person POV most of the time I think LMAO, also there are some spelling errors probably

INTRO

It was an utter surprise to the residents of the Oletus Manor when they uncovered a secret tavern inside the estate. Surely with the amount of time they’ve been trapped in the place they would have found it by now, right? If it weren’t for their newest citizen, Lilly B, the bar would have stayed hidden, covered in cobwebs and dust. But maybe, just maybe, that would have been a good thing. Because now you’ve got a certain Barmaid who can’t stop dragging you away to the place.

No one was more ecstatic about the hidden bar than Demi Bourbon, the manor's one and only Barmaid.

And why would she not be? It had felt like ages since she had been in her brother's tavern, that she soon had to take care of. So by the end of the week, the bar was in tip top shape. With its polished bar and an extravagant amount of expensive wine (which the Barmaid doesn’t even know where it came from herself.). The bar really looked like one you would find back in regular civilization. Which is where one of her favorite people came from, you!

Demi had a regular curiosity to anyone new in the manor, but it would usually leave after learning more about the person. But for some reason, you never left her mind, even when you’d been here for more than 3 months now.

Demi dismissed these thoughts, thinking that you and her had just been closer friends now. After all, she was the first person you came in contact with after your first game. Which, despite winning, was still stuck here.

Demi soon came to the realization that this, these feelings, were nowhere close to how she felt about anyone else. These feelings grew stronger with every touch, every glance, every word you two had spoken to each other.

But these feelings grew outside of the lines that separated love and like. No, they hurdled over the one that had deemed these feelings were borderline obsession.

Demi felt as if she needed to have you, or else her heart would explode into tiny little pieces before being blown away in the wind. So, Demi did what she had to do.

—

The barstools had been whipped down and put away, and the expensive wine had been corked and locked up behind a glass barrier. The only person left in the room was Demi herself; and you too of course. She couldn’t let you leave her sight, not with such dangerous beings out and about!

But they wouldn’t be, for them as well as the other Survivors have fallen fast asleep, exhausted from their matches. They slept peacefully in their spectate dorm rooms, not daring to look for you. As everyone knew where you were and more importantly, knew who you were with.

The Barmaid was busy wiping the inside of a wine glass with a dish rag that has most definitely seen better days. She’s humming an unfamiliar tune as she sways her hips, that’s surely going to be a tune you won’t forget.

You rest your head in your arms as you look around at the empty tavern. The bar used to be full to the brim, a new place to explore and become familiar with, a place to party and forget about the scars that still sting and itch from the day's matches. But the room has become empty (at least when the Barmaid isn’t in it, which you don’t know because you're always around her. And most certainly not by choice.).

You’ve tried to help her, by taking a broom and starting to sweep, but Demi always complains.

“Oh darling! Please, you'll hurt yourself! Don’t you see the (nonexistent) wooden splinters in this broom? Just go back by the bar and sit pretty for me doll face.”

You’ve tried to wipe down the counter, the pairing protected by their own glass barrier, varnish the bar, but you’d usually get responses similar to this.

So as you stare off into space, you’ve yet to realize the bottles and other ingredients the Barmaid has pulled from different drawers in the room, how she keeps locking and unlocking the wine cabinet, and how she hasn’t stopped turning around and looking at you.

You're about to doze off into a well needed slumber, but Demi slams down a wine cup. It’s filled with ice cubes and the liquid looks like a grapey purple.

“Drink up hun.” Demi says, but not before going back and opening up another drawer and producing a matching purple umbrella and plopping it into your drink.

You’ve done this before, this isn’t something out of the ordinary. But this drink pulls you in. It’s different, it’s brand new, and acts like a breath of fresh air from this stale empty manor.

You know you should be careful, but you’ve got a strong desire to take a sip. You can’t help yourself but reach for the glass and put it to your lips.

The drink is cold, and like its color, tastes grapey and sweet. It’s delicious and something you drink up in mere seconds. All while Demi looks at you with her head in her hands. She’s wearing a small smile, like she’s looking at a child playing with their toys.

When you finish your sip, you can’t ignore the warm bubbly feeling in your stomach that dares to increase with every breath you take. All of a sudden, the room looks like it’s getting darker. Like a play was about to finish its final act. Before everything goes black, you watch as the Barmaid swiftly makes her way behind you and catches your falling body in her arms.

“Sleep well, princess.” She says as she places a chaste kiss on your lips.

And with that, the act was finished.

— End

note: hey guys! i'm here with my first piece and i really hope you guys like it <3 it’s total ass and I hate it just as much as the next guy but I needed to get something out there so 😭

(2023) ©️fishermanshook — do not steal, translate, plagiarize, or repost my work on any other platform

#‧₊˚🌿✩ ₊˚ GREEN WITH ENVY.#identityv #identity five #idv #idvfic #idv x reader #2nd person pov #i think #uhhhhh #idvfanfic #please be kind you guys this is my first fic 😭#idv barmaid #identity v barmaid #yandere #yan!barmaid #wine wine wine #not actually that much wine tbh #identity v

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critter-of-habit · 1 year

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There's a WALL of them

#the last of us #tlou #the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers #mine #art #tlou art #ellie williams #i did this in an afternoon with 3/4 of a bottle of wine shhhhhh #tlouart

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yourhoneymoongirl · 4 months

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pixiegeldof · 14 days

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CHAPPELL ROAN PHOTOGRAPHED BY KIRT BARNETT FOR POLYESTER ZINE

#chappell roan #polyester zine #hot to go #red wine supernova #queer #lgbtq #popstar #pink pony club #polyester #coachella #a

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tetrabytez · 9 months

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Something that I've personally wondered about for a long time.

You know the drill. Reblog for sample size.

Part Two

#hopefully this was comprehensible #im really curious so i hope this gets lots of votes #polls #poll #sample size #dark chocolate #red wine #coffee #food and drink #personally i only enjoy a tiny amount of red wines if theyre on the more aromatic side

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thursdayes · 9 months

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cannot get enough of these guys (man-shaped ethereal beings)🪦

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robinwithay · 2 months

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the fact Crowley knows Aziraphale's "something's wrong" voice implies that Aziraphale has called him for things being "wrong" that aren't, presumably, world-ending catastrophes. like the hinges on his bookshop doors being a bit squeaky. or a customer that won't leave. or any number of things he doesn't need Crowley to fix for him but are a convenient excuse to call him and pout down the phone until he rushes over and rescues him

#good omens #ineffable husbands #and then i mean he might as well stay for tea. or wine. or forever.

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