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nomoreusername · 6 months

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What You Deserve (Part 1)

Summary:After the betrayal with Teresa Aris spills darker secrets than you could have ever imagined.

Honestly, I have no clue how one person could be so oblivious, so blind, to why someone might be avoiding them. While it's true that I haven't directly told Aris the reason I'm so pissed off I shouldn't need to say it.

"Y/N,"He called, following me out of the kitchen.

"What do you want?"I sighed, not bothering to stop in my tracks.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong?"He asked again. I scoffed before accidentally letting out a bitter laugh.

"What's wrong? Seriously? You are so daft sometimes,"I snapped.

"I don't know what's going on. Can you please just tell me?"He repeated.

"Go ask Teresa,"I absentmindedly commented. He went unusually silent as I stopped to glare at him.

"I told you why that happened,"He whispered.

"No. You told everyone why it happened,"I pointed out. Like the idiot he is he was still confused.

"You explained one time then expected everyone to move on. Guess what Aris? Everyone else can move on because they aren't dating you. They aren't someone who's with you for some insane reason while also living with that girl you had to kiss might I add."

"Exactly. Had to. I wouldn't have done it if I had a choice."

"Did you say you love her?"I asked.

"Y/N-"

"Answer the question,"I demanded.

"Does it matter?"

I stared at him in disbelief at what I was hearing.

"Of course it matters. You haven't tried to talk to me one time about what happened. You gave the most vague explanation with her standing next to you, and I'm just supposed to accept it and say everything's okay between us? That nothing will change? I'm supposed to forget this? I can't because you won't even try to tell me anything. Not once did you come to me and try to tell me what went on. How do you think that feels?"

"I don't know,"He mumbled.

"Then, I'll help you. I'll put a nice visual in your head. There I am right next to, let's say Newt. He's attractive so he definitely works for this,"I stated, stopping so my words would sink in. I was aware of the worry he had felt in a pit of worry in his stomach when Newt and I seemed to quickly bond. I assured Aris he was the only boy I could ever want, and while that is still true, I wanted him to hurt at least half as much as I did.

"I'm standing there right next to Newt after we both disappeared for two days. Standing beside us is somebody very beaten up, and all I say is I have to is 'I had to'. That girl, you know what, let's just say Harriet,"I added, knowing how close they are. I wanted this to be as descriptive as possible so he feels what I had to.

No. That's the wrong thing statement. I need him to feel what I still am feeling every second I'm around one of them, or even worse, both of them.

"She's your friend too, right? Like how Teresa was mine. Beside us is an injured Harriet. You later find out, not even from me, that I kissed Newt. How do you feel Aris? Can you see it? Because I can very well give you so much more detail. I can give you every image you need,"I snapped.

He looked at me completely silent. All I could do was cross my arms and keep my cold stare.

"Some things were said, but all of them were lies. Everything was a lie. I don't want anyone else Y/N. I want you,"He repeated. By now his words were empty.

"I can't believe you when you wouldn't even try to explain anything,"I shrugged, acting like it still didn't shatter my heart to think about.

"Nothing I say is going to fix this, is it?"He asked, almost silent.

"I don't think so,"I admitted.

"So are you breaking up with me?"He asked, his voice a trembling whisper.

"I don't know,"I repeated. This time my words weren't meant to feel like a knife through the chest. They were true. "I don't think we should be together right now,"I finally spoke up.

"But is that really what you want?"He asked, his voice cracking. I just stared at the ground. "Please tell me it's not,"He begged.

"Of course not, but I can't deal with this right now. There's already so much going on. This will only make everything worse,"I whispered, my words only getting more and more true as the reality of them set in. Still, they had to be said.

"If I tell you the full truth would you stay?"He asked, seeming to struggle with the decision.

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anything right now."

"But there's a chance?"He asked.

"I don't know,"I shrugged, not knowing how anything he had to say could solve this.

"But it might be there?"

"If you want to say something just say it,"I pleaded, wanting this to be done. Not us but this conversation. My mind is a thousand places at once. This is only sending me spiraling even more.

"Then, I'll take it. Y/N, I built the mazes,"He admitted.

"You already told me that. I was the first person in the Spring who knew about what your role in WICKED was,"I pointed out.

"Not really. No,"He murmered.

His words took me by surprise. So much so that I had to look up at him. They were briming with tears.

"I didn't just build the mazes Y/N. I remember them."

"What do you mean you remember them?"I asked, taking a step towards him. He just stared at the ground before shaking his head.

"Aris, what do you mean you remember them?"

"When I came up in the box I had my memories. It was part of a plan."

For a moment my heart seemed to stop beating as all the blood rushed to my ears. I desperately wanted him to stop talking and take his words back. Instead, he kept going.

"I didn't know much about the Scorch Trials, but I didn't think anyone would die. I didn't know I had to do this. Please Y/N. I didn't know anything would go this far."

"So Teresa, and Thomas, do they know?"I asked.

"No. Just Teresa,"He confessed.

"And what did you do when we were in the mazes,"I repeated.

"The Beatles Blades,"He whispered.

"So you were a spy? While we were suffering, while my friends were dead, while I almost died that one time when I touched the fake sky, you saw all that?"

"Some of it,"He muttered, sounding like he was filled with well deserved guilt. I wonder is it's real or it's an act. Maybe because he wants me to believe him. He's good at fooling me.

"You've been lying to me. People are dead, and you sat there and watched. We were all in the freezing snow, sometimes secretly crying ourselves to sleep, which you probably saw as well, right? Did you watch while I sat against the walls and pathetically, silently sobbed?"

He stayed quiet as tears he didn't deserve to cry steamed down his face. He deserved to feel like breaking down, but he didn't deserve to do it. He didn't deserve anything.

"Did it feel nice? To stay in a place that didn't involve risking your life by running mindlessly like a lab rat? Did you like seeing the way I desperately skated the maze? How about the times the Griever's would drag away the bodies or when we'd have to kill and even banish our friends? Did you enjoy it?"I taunted, my voice low and full of venom.

When he didn't say anything I stepped forward until I was right in front of him. He trembled as he looked up at me.

"Was it nice Aris?"I repeated, dangerously calm.

"No. No. I swear. Just please, I didn't think anything would be like this. Please Y/N. Listen to me,"He begged, trying to make me look at him. I slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me,"I scowled.

"Please. I'm different now. If I could take it back I would,"He swore, now hysterical. I couldn't even look at him as I turned around and tried to leave only for him to hold my wrist and keep pleading for me to just look at him.

"If I look at you I'm going to hurt you, and I mean it. I will do what you did to Thomas and more. I will leave you looking like someone who crawled out of the Greiver hole,"I promised. Because his words may be empty but mine never will be. I will always follow through on what I say, and I will mean it.

"I don't care. Just look at me,"He begged, more sobs seeming to echo through the Berg. I pulled my arm away, and he didn't stop me.

"Please. I can't live without you,"He uttered as I walked down the hall.

I didn't stop to think about the next words that left my mouth as I turned to face him. He had dropped to the floor and had the nerve to look me in the eye as he seemed to feel some remorse for what he had done. He didn't feel remorse when he lied to all of us though. In fact, he still was. He has trapped us for years.

Maybe if he had admitted everything to me from the start I could have found some middle ground. He didn't though. He had sat there and acted like a terrified Blondie as Beth kept saying we should banish him. She had said from the start he was bad news. Several other girls had.

And what did I do? I protected him. I had even saved his life in the maze, and he had essentially been spitting in my face. He had used me. Maybe me falling in love with him was another sick part of his plan. It wouldn't surprise me anymore. Nothing would.

That's why I said what I said next.

"Then, die."

He clapped a hand over his mouth as he started to cry harder.

"You look more pathetic than I did believing you. You sit there and bawl your eyes out. It will never make me come back to you. Each tear you shed only makes me despise you more because I did that so many nights. I cried and cried while I thought about if I had a family, friends, or even I was in some twisted prison, and you know what you did?"

He just buried his face in his hands while his hysterics continued.

"You let it happen. If you truly think you need me to live then you better find a way to stop because I can't stand you. You better learn how to stop needing me because I will never love you. Aris, I hate you,"I scowled, wanting to kick him until he was covered in bruises. He had manipulated everyone, and just because he told me the truth he had some twisted expectation that I could not only forgive the betrayal, but the way he had ruined my life. Just the thought of him, the sight of him, disgusted me.

He screamed into his hand, and I heard the agony in his voice that I had caused. The part of me that had empathy, and had loved him with all my heart, almost felt remorse for all I had said. Then again that love for him was fading. With each tear another part of me hated him more.

I didn't even feel satisfied that I had successfully broke him into nothing. I didn't feel anything at all anymore. Even that hatred was replaced with this numb feeling as I looked at him. Hearing him try to muffle his cries, pleads for me not to leave him, and his yells of regret, just left me feeling sorry for him.

Everyone must have heard his screams because the others can rushing in. Well, only Sonya and Harriet.

"What happened?"Harriet asked, her confusion quickly becoming replaced with concern as she stared at the way Aris had crumpled to the floor.

I looked back at him one last time and said my final message.

"He's just throwing himself a pity party."

With that I left my worried friends in the room and my broken ex-boyfriend laying on the ground.

#one shot #mini series #angst with a sad ending #angst #no fluff #tmr aris #aris x reader #aris jones #wicked #tmr #the maze runner #the scorch trials #aris tmr #Spotify #part 1/3

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