#why me?!
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well…
𝖨'𝗆 𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗇𝗒．
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Due he got more slitherwings and ditto???
I came back from work to see more in his yard???
Apparently there’s even more eggs to deal with now
I do not know. Please contact your local pokemon rangers with photographic evidence. I am an old professor who sleeps around, smokes weed and fights with a sword.
I cannot help you with this.
I still do not know how Proteus bred.
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my first day subbing EVER and ...
twenty minutes before the bell, one student decided to sucker punch another student
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As if my day couldn’t get better, besides the cursed fanfiction and people drinking in the Kool Aid, having a big argument in my comment section that escalated to unbelievable proportions, this freaking person is at it again with copying my story!
DUDE! Changing the names and pronouns of two characters does NOT constitute not copying another person! Gain some shame! Like how dare you?! This is so disrespectful!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/41188017/chapters/103253505
Because this is strike two I am sharing the link! And they do NOT have permission to f_cking repost my story with a couple of name changes and a few word changes here and there!
They go as far as copying THIS!!!
The Blacks & the Greens:
-Mushroom! – she screamed angrily, shaking her feet to attempt to rid herself of the dwarf.
The little man started sniggering and let go of her at once, clapping his hands happily.
-If I ever catch you spying on me again and looking up my skirts, you will be Syrax’s next meal! Got it?! - she threatened. - And father will hear about it as well!
-Apologies princess, apologies. But I am drawn to you as a bee to a flower! AS A BEE TO A FLOWER! – he yelled happily, shaking his hat. - Oh… the princess is not alone I see.
Mushroom’s deformed face studied Prince Daemon looking up and down. His smile was malicious.
-Welcome back to the capital, my prince. - he said, giving her uncle a clumsy bow.
A ball fell from his hat as he took it off.
Prince Daemon smiled at the fool, but the smile did not reach his face.
-Should I find you spying on us again, dwarf, and you won’t have many reasons to smile about. And go before I throw you from our side.
Rhaenyra looked from the fool to the prince. A small part of her almost felt bad for Mushroom… that was until she remembered how he had once stolen her smallclothes.
-I hate that little creature! - she told her uncle. - He is always snooping and spying on me. I turn around and he’s there!
The copycat:
“Mushroom!” Daemon screamed angrily, as pushed the dwarf away from them.
The little man simply laughed as he let go of his aunt’s leg at once and and clapped his hands happily. But Dameon was not amused.
“If I ever catch you spying on us again, you will become Caraxes’ next meal! Got that?” He threatened. “And my father will hear about this as well.”
“My apologies, prince. But I am drawn to your aunt as a bee to a flower!” He yelled happily as he shook his hat. “Now let me say hello to the beautiful princess.”
Mushroom’s deformed face looked intently at Rhaenyra’s as he studied her up and down. He had a malicious smile on his face.
“I welcome you back to King’s Landing, my princess.” Mushroom said.
Rhaenyra smiled at the dwarf, but her smile did not reach her eyes.
“Should I see you spying on my nephew and I again, Mushroom, and you will no longer have any reason to smile about. Now go before I throw you out the window.” Rhaenyra said.
Daemon looked at both his aunt and the fool. A small part of him felt almost bad for the dwarf. That was until he remembered that he had once stolen his small clothes.
#wtaf!#tiffany or whatever your name is do you mind STOPPING!#this is insane#can't I get one day of f_cking peace?!#the blacks & the greens#ao3#is this something I can report?!#why me?!#I am SO DONE!
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i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.
this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.
anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:
#why mexico please don't ask me that.#dream interpreters would love your views on this please advise...
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.
#i love reading your examples! however next person to be like um actually this exists?? it’s on sight#i know it exists. i think it’s fun. that’s why i think more people should do it.#sometimes i think the confessional style loses impact because everything has to be excavated from the depths of the soul#and somehow. confessional writing seems to be going with the most disaffected bland sound possible. odd.#i love deeply personal songs! i love when songs sound like they mean something to the artist!#something something wider issue of mining trauma and being performatively vulnerable for quote unquote content#idk i don’t have the actual knowledge to write about this well there’s just something not landing for me recently#mine
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watching bridgerton and obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the way socializing has worked in the past, but honestly the idea of a "calling hour" is so appealing. office hours for friendship. you can show up unannounced at my home between 1 and 3pm. you must leave by 3pm. I may give you a pastry. lets bring that back
#bridgerton#lauren says things#i know the calling hour is for romantic prospects#(at least in bridgerton)#but there IS something to be said for having social rules! I like it to an extent!#no I don't have a panic disorder rooted in social anxiety why are you asking me that#and tbf one CAN just do this!#but working out social contracts with friends is hard and scary lol
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#Dungeon Meshi#Delicious In Dungeon#dungeonmeshiedit#senshi#dmgifs#mygifs#this was so funny to me jdsaghjsdhg idk why#this is exactly how i look waiting for my water to boil when im cooking#500#1k#5k#10k
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spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.
for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing
#spock baby im sorry but it looks like the backdrop of one of those alpha male podcasts#nurse chapel is stronger then me because if i saw this frat boy ass decor i would have immediately gotten the ick and left#the lack of coherent design is so funny#ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW TO CURTAIN IS COVERING THE SHELVES WHICH IS SUCH A SMALL THING BUT IT MAKES ME SO MAD WHY SPOCK WHY#i hope bones never saw this room because he would have a fucking field day#star trek#star trek tos#spirk#jim kirk#spock#tos
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my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring
#this is a silly goofy mood post pls no being weird or taking it too seriously ok? ok :)#yes yes ur engaged congrats but also why would u get me excited about a rock#when no rock#eslyea#geology#rocks
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
#spilled ink#warm up#“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol#btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can#run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her#but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!
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One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"
#the fries were brought back to the kitchen and he got ones that just had salt on them instead#chef asks me why#uhmm#how do I explain#well he has this tattoo
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“their relationship is too deep to be sexual” what’s deeper than dick in hole. please tell me
#people missing context this was about the wwdits show runners pulling a 2012-era queerbait#and was a joke#also if you're going to send me an anon asking me why i hate ace people. miss me with your homophobia thanks
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Like I literally have second hand embarrassment for Vox after seeing what Alastor ACTUALLY is like in a rivalry.
Like homie wishes he could be that close to Alastor 😂😂
#can we get an F in the chat for my man Vox 😂#I can imagine Vox like crying in his little incel tv room being why won’t Alastor say fuck you to me 🥺#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel spoilers#alastor#lucifer#hazbin vox#staticradio#radiostatic#sorry this isn’t my usual content but I couldn’t help myself#this show is wild
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learning that self deprecation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.
#people will fr go ''god im such an ugly loser LOL i suck at everything i do and i should just kms“#and then go “why does no one want to be around me”#maybe because your attitude sucks. maybe because i said 'those mean things you say about yourself arent true'#and you spent five minutes arguing with me about how im wrong.#00
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