#why do i feel the same way about him lmao
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Drunk six of crows thoughts (I’m drunk)
Six of Crows = FUCKING LITERARY MASTERPIECE
Thinking about Kaz and how he is effectively the third representation of addiction in books where addiction is one of the main themes and although it’s mostly presented through Jesper (if I see one more person poking fun at/making jokes about/undermining his gambling addiction I’m gonna cryyyyyyyyyyyy) and Nina (probably quite clear but parem) but KAZ
Kaz straight up tells us that nothing he can ever do to Rollins will ever be enough to quench his thirst and you know why???? Because it’s an ADDICTION. And it started smaller, with the roper (Fillip, tortured and then left dead with a wind up key shoved in his throat) and the bank (cost him the break of his bad leg, but he was never deterred and his cane became symbolic of everything he was working for and everything that had happened to him and etc I mean COME ON) and also whilst we’re here I am FREAKING OBSESSEd with that bit in Crooked Kingdom when Haskell has the fake gaudy cane to mock Kaz and he holds them both side by side omgggggggggggg the symbolism is so loud I’m so obsessed but anyway I’ve gotten sidetracked
Kaz is addicted to vengeance and burning is every going to be enough to quell the fire or the need Kaz would literally not have survived without the hope of vengeance but it has begun to actively eat at him and it’s almost sad to see but also in a fascinating way we still want him to keep seeking revenge??? Like he deserves to achieve his vengeance but even though the reader knows he is never going to be fulfilled by it they still want to see him try?? It’s a very strange thing to have running parallel to the encouragement the reader feels towards pulling Jesper and Nina away from their respective vices whilst we actively root for Kaz to follow the path of his and I think it kind of speaks to us some kind of acknowledgment that we would be allured the same way he is????
Anyway there is like 99% chance these are nonsense thoughts lmao, I think in done now and I’m tired and still drunk so goodnight y’all
#tw addiction#six of crows#grishaverse#crooked kingdom#leigh bardugo#kaz brekker#jesper fahey#nina zenik#inej ghafa#wylan van eck#matthias helvar#something something#grisha#shadow and bone#save six of crows#save shadow and bone
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It's longpost anon, here to drop another novel in your asks! (If this isn't welcome, just say so and I'll stop, no hard feelings!!)
All the Sanguinius content lately had me thinking about him having a daughter.
What spurred this on: I was grocery shopping this morning and there was a mom with her young daughter in front of me checking out. The kid would excitedly tell everyone "Nice to meet you!" when they walked past, and it was the most adorable thing ever. She was just so happy to see people and be out and about.
TMI but I'm at that point in my cycle where I was trying not to cry in public from the cuteness lol. (I've got baby fever, send help 😭) On the drive home, I started thinking about Sangy's daughter meeting all her uncles for the first time, and her trying to shake their giant hands with her tiny little ones and saying "Nice to meet you!" It would be so precious.
Then I started thinking about the mom being too kind for her own good, seeing Konrad lurking at the edge of the room alone and quietly asking him, "Do you want to meet your niece?"
It'd be like all the air got sucked out of the room. Sanguinius would just be tense as a board. Everyone is mentally screaming "Are you crazy?!" at her in their heads.
An aside: I've just read Konrad's primarch book, and while it shows why he is genuinely truly terrifying, there is also so many sad things.. Like how he doesn't hate any of his brothers (except Corax) despite them absolutely loathing him. Despite Fulgrim shattering his trust. Despite Sanguinius basically being the better alternate version of himself. I don't think the average person could be treated the way he was and not hate their family at least a little bit. I feel so badly for him.. I don't think he would hurt one of his brother's offspring pre-heresy. Maybe I'm just deluded though lol.
Anywho-
Everyone is just on edge, ready for Konrad to show even the most microscopic indication of aggression.. But he just kneels down, silently holds his hand out to the girl and she shakes his hand as best she can, giving him a cheery "Nice to meet you!" the same as she did for her other uncles. He just stands up, stares for a moment, and then silently leaves.. (He spends the next 72 hours trying to process the 12 different emotions he got blasted with in that moment.)
Also! Sangy's daughter being weirdly attached to one of the primarchs who is not particularly good at socializing with normies is really funny to picture. Like she gets SUPER hyped anytime she gets to see uncle Guilliman, and nobody knows why because he is honestly kinda boring to talk to. (It's because when she asks him a million questions about mundane things, he genuinely tries to answer every. single. one.)
Fulgrim trying to be the cool fun wine uncle but never being able to truly capture the kid's interest lmao. He's quietly seething like, why does she like paper-pushing Roboute?! (Fulgrim gets his time in the spotlight when she's a little older and gets super interested in art)
And the Blood Angels interacting with her would be so heartmeltingly sweet. Little mini Sanguinius asking for uppies from a captain because she wants to be Really Tall. He's just like, "It would be my honor." and hoists her onto his shoulder.
When the kid is still a toddler, the mom offhandedly asks her guard to hold her daughter for a second while she does something and just kinda shoves the squirmy toddler into his arms despite his protests. He's internally having a meltdown because he is so scared of hurting her accidentally and is still as a statue the entire time.
The first time the mom refers to them as the girl's brothers, there would be no going back. Like, "Wave to your brothers!" as they're both watching the Blood Angels train. If it was even possible for them to adore their 'sister' any more, it would happen in that moment.
This is all super fucking cute. Especially the stuff with Konrad. And you are somewhat right; we have to remember that as fucked as Konrad is, he was largely under the impression that he was doing justice and only killing those deserving of it. I doubt he would think Sanguinius’ child was evil, at least at first. He has no reason to hate his child afterall, he never hated any of the Primarchs ‘cept Corvus.
Funny note I first read this while really tired and my brain skipped lines, and at first I thought it was Konrad asking people if they wanted to see their niece XD like he had a secret child. 💀 I’m dumb
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au where hms are separately dumped into the fanon characterizations of the album. mind ends up with fanon heart and soul, soul ends up with fanon mind and heart, and heart ends up with fanon mind and soul
mind would probably figure out that something is up the quickest. for one, that creature very suspiciously never argues with him as of late- it won’t even fight back when he provokes it, only begging for the mind to “stop being mean” to it instead of reacting violently like usual. while the mind had initially thought it must be some sort of ploy, it would seem that “the heart” was just… stuck in this oddly helpless and passive state. the soul is also off- the mind hadn’t noticed before the heart began acting strangely, but the soul had started becoming… strangely nonchalant about their situation, despite being the one most compelled to become whole. although the mind enjoys the peace at first, it feels wrong soon enough. he is not meant to rule like this; tridential sovereignty requires all to rule equally, and these one-dimensional illusions of the heart and soul are not his equals. something is very, very wrong, and it once again falls to the mind to fix it.
soul doesn’t notice immediately. the ids are still fighting, and he stopped paying attention to their fights long, long ago because the heart and the mind always say the same damned things, over and over. however, as of late, the mind has been the only one driving the fights, while the heart has become much less violent. it is becoming concerning- while the mind usually starts the fights, the heart always escalates them. as the heart and mind are equals, they are both equally violent, as much as the heart and mind would disagree with that statement. this isn’t right. are really these even his heart and mind? (in the distance far away from the house in headspace, the soul can see a dot of blue and black heading his way.)
heart would probably notice the least because generally his point of view lines up with the fanon characterization. sure, maybe that automaton freak had given up on even the pretense of wanting to work together to become whole, but the heart had known it was only a pretense the entire time. the mind had also become even crueler lately, beyond what the heart had thought possible of a part of him- but why was the heart surprised? the mind electric was cruel but crude, only concerned with his damn efficiency and (seemingly) torturing the heart for the crime of wanting to experience life fully. the soul was slightly more worrisome, becoming oddly uncaring of their horrid situation. the heart figured that he had finally cracked and lost it- the soul had always been one step off the edge, and the mind had probably pushed it.
mind is the first to start attempting to find the real heart and soul. by the time soul also realizes that something is horribly wrong, mind is like 15 minutes away from reaching it. both of them have to go look for heart themselves (because he hasn’t noticed anything wrong lmao)
(how do they find each other? i dunno, i haven’t thought that far. for now i think that if they walk far enough from the house in headspace (like hours away) they find the others’ houses but i’m not set on it lol)
(sorry soul fans i’m not great at characterizing him. if any of you want to expand on this then please do)
Yeah this is basically just their fanon personalities. Half of Heart’s violence is directed into Mind, and Soul is just a bastard who’s along for the ride.
I do love me some criticisms of problematic fanon characterisation! Perhaps you could bring Whole into the mix at some point, seeing as how he’s never technically been canon?
#chonny jash#cccc#cccc au#chonny jash au#cj#cj au#chonnys charming chaos compendium#chonny’s charming chaos compendium#cccc heart#cccc mind#cccc soul
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Ok so, the idea just popped in my mind and I RLLY need someone to write it LMAO
Your Chilchuck fics give me LIFE so you were me go to, no questions asked
Could I get Chilchuck with a reader (preferably male, but gender neutral is also ok!) who miscalculated the ammount of anxiety medication they had left and ended up running out in the middle of the dungeon? Reader is having a hard time with their anxiety ticks and one of the side effects of going a bit too long without them is his body starting to "shut down" and become slightly like a ragdoll. Reader is still talkative and behaves as normal besides their head going to the side aggressively, flopping to the side and body parts just going all weak when they sit, flopping legit like a ragdoll (this os very self indulgent and has happened to me once, it is not good to say the least LMAO)
I completely understand if this makes you uncomfortable to write! And if so, a reader with severe generalized anxiety would work in the place of this request!
Hii! I'm sorry if this took too long ;-; since I have generalized anxiety and therefore I'm more knowledgeable about that subject, I'll write for a reader with severe generalized anxiety. I don't want to fuck up the other option with the ticks and such, because I don't know about the condition and I don't want to offend anyone. So hopefully this is okay!! love y'all thanks for being patient!
(Also changing my POV today) I'm so glad you love the way I write, it means the world to know that💗
"A Comforting Half-ling"
[Chilchuck Tims x gn!reader]
Warnings: none - fluff
Your hands were sweaty. You had been fidgeting with your fingers for a while, feeling a pit at the bottom of your stomach that made you even more anxious that you already were. The slight pang of pain in the chest that came from time to time the more you thought about the problem at hand bothering you as you sat on the corner of one of the rooms of the dungeon that the group had stopped by. Why were you so anxious? Simple. There was another party in that same room, and the rest of the group had decided to be all social and chat for a bit as they sat down to take a break from walking around.
Gosh I must look really weird sitting alone in this corner. I think they didn't hear me when I said "hi." What if they think I'm an asshole? Or a weirdo? Or a weird asshole?! you thought, looking around the room.
—Oh yeah, and that one there is (y/n), they're kinda shy— you jumped, your head snapping back to stare at the middle of the room as Laios pointed a finger back at you. Everyone's eyes were on you. Never had you wanted earth to swallow you whole and never come back so desperately before.
As the conversation resumed, the half-foot's eyes stayed on you, a curious and worried expression on his face as he watched you fidget with your hands.
He excused himself softly and walked up to them.
—Hey, why don't you come with me for a second? I need your help with something— Chilchuck pointed to the door, and your feet hurried to stand up and get out of the room as quickly as possible. Once outside that room, and away from the hearing range of the others, he sat against the wall, patting the space beside him.— What's got you so jumpy?— he looks at you, genuine curiosity in his voice.
Looking at him, you wonder if it's okay to admit out loud how anxious you were about, not just talking to people, but almost anything that had to do with being in public.— You're always behind us when we encounter other parties, and you don't seem to want to be there. I'm starting to think you're not just "shy"— Chilchuck called you out.
Beginning to explain to him how you were always on edge around people wasn't the easiest task. Admitting that, you were afraid of not being seen as capable, but being seen as a bother or even a burden ate you up every second of your life to Chilchuck was hard but worth it, because now you had someone that understood you better than any of the rest of the group. Everyone gets a little anxious at times, but you were a little extra anxious about everything.
Sitting cross-legged and now intently staring at you as you finished your through explanation of how you felt almost all the time, Chilchuck sighed and placed a comforting hand over your shoulder.— I'm really sorry you have to feel like that. I get anxious for five minutes and I hate it, so you being on edge all the damn time must suck— he offered a sympathetic apology, understanding you easily.��� Whenever you feel like that, just... uh– try and tell me, or nudge me, whatever works best for you— he smiles softly, and the look on your face makes him huff softly in embarrassment and look away, retrieving his hand from your shoulder. When you give a soft laugh at his reaction he starts protesting and huffing at you, although we all know he wasn't seriously that upset.
When you hug him, however, he falls silent and sighs, taking a moment to return your embrace.
From then on Chilchuck tries his best to comfort you and help you everytime he notices you feeling anxious.
You need to buy something but can't because you're afraid of taking too long and upsetting the line behind you? He'll go with you and hold your hand. Maybe you're afraid of the guy at the stall, selling whatever it is you want to buy. Don't worry, he'll talk for you when you get nervous and start to stutter. Or even if you don't even want to talk at all.
Afraid someone is judging you? He's jokingly rolling his sleeves up and asking "Who? Who is it? Point at them and they'll never see what got them!" (They won't but that's because he's small and he kicks their knee from behind)
If you feel like everyone is judging you, though, he holds your hand and guides you away into a corridor/hallway where it's less crowded
Ever start hyperventilating? The first time he'll panic, and he'll struggle to find the words and actions to properly help you calm down. But it doesn't take him long before he has it memorized.
You're basically the only one on the group who's got Chikchuck breaking his rules about innerparty relationships, because he's grown very close and attached to you.
You're such an amazing person, you shouldn't have to struggle like this.
He gets very happy for you when you manage to do something that makes you anxious on your own. Maybe you spoke up to a whole group of people completely alone, or maybe you went and bought something that you really wanted without struggling at all.
When that happens he's sure to give you a smile and a thumbs up or a pat on your leg (you're taller than him, don't tease him about it or he'll get all red in the face and start mumbling to himself)
Overall, Chilchuck would understand you and try to help. He struggles, and sometimes you might think you're being a bother for him, but he makes sure to tell you that "no, you're not a burden nor a bother. I'm simply... not used to comforting people that often."
+ romantic established relationship headcannons
If you tell him that having him by your side is comforting, even in the slightest, he'll cough and look away, hiding his growing embarrassment.
If you ask to borrow something of his to comfort you, he's scrambling all over his words but eventually giving said item to you gladly.
You hide your face in his scarf after wrapping it around your neck and softly inhale his scent— Ah... you smell so nice. And the scarf is so warm— so is his face. A beautiful tomato red all over his cheeks and ears as he looks at you, genuinely feeling better just by borrowing his scarf.
Or maybe you borrow his gloves (if they fit) and put them on.— Okay... but why my gloves?— he asks curiously, waiting an eyebrow as he looks up at you.
You smile, wiggling your fingers after putting the gloves on— Makes me feel like I'm holding your hand— he falls silent, and he opens his mouth to speak, but the only thing that comes out is a flustered exhale as he turns around and walks away from you as he mumbles a "you're unbelievably.... cute" that you're sure he didn't mean for you to hear.
A few minutes later he'll return by your side as you're walking and extend his hand up, looking ahead— You can just hold my damn hand, you know?— he mumbles, and you notice how his cheeks tint with red once again.
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Very weird ask author so I’m sorry butttt
Ro reaction to a sleeper build MC?
In normal clothes MC looks like skinny but then! as soon as they take it off, it reveals MC really has a body of Greek god
Hehe love this!
Cassandra: Speechless and suddenly feeling very hot under the collar starting at MC's body. Like I say, she is always attracted to masculine traits and muscles are an absolute instant home run for her. This is certainly a surprise but a very welcome one, girly will fantasize about undressing MC more often because of this and insists MC always wears their current style of clothes so she can be blown away everytime they undress.
Valeria: Asks how you manage to hide such bulk and wonders if she could get fit like you and do the same thing because she would love to shock people the way MC does. Asks to touch MC's abs often and loves poking at the firm muscles, might even ask if she can play punch MC to see just how firm they are.
Tomás: HE IS SO SALTY LMAO 🤣
Gets cocky feeling like he is the stronger one between you both and you just make his jaw drop by taking off your shirt? Absolutely not. How very dare you? You just single handedly punted his masculinity right over the horizon. He stops talking to you for a while and starts bulking up to compete, especially if MC is male. Although, he might still be very bothered if MC was female, he gains quite the inferiority complex from this shit.
-
Ludovica: MC just took her breath away, honest to God she swoon a bit as she fans herself. She was not expecting that, although she was curious why MC always felt to firm to touch when she felt them over their clothes. Continues to swoon every time they undress because she honestly forgets quite often just how swole they were, the image of them in her mind never compare to seeing the original again.
Aurelio: Openly checks MC out as he gives them a one over from head-to-toe a few times. Also happily surprised and wonders if they visually downplay their muscles on purpose? Not like it matter because he is complimenting them up a storm and even suggests they show off a little more. What? Noooo, it's not just so he can show you off. What are you talking about?... Okay yeah it's mainly for his own pleasure but come onnnnn, how are you going to rob the world of such a delightful sight?!
And if MC is a lady... lil bro gets absolutely weak in the knees. I have said before somewhere he has a secret thing for bigger amazonian type women. Salavates openly as he stares at her muscles, will never ask but hopes she will pick him up and carry him around so he can experience the fantasy.
Elio: Regardless of MC's gender he responds with, "Well damn. What were you hiding all of that for? Congrats, you have been promoted to doing all the heavy lifting around the house now. Since you so evidently can handle it. Please and thank you darling." With a shit eating grin as he subtly checks MC out.
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Yeah I said I probably won’t be posting anything butttttt it’s pride month and this meme is too funny not to be redrawn with Luz and Pip
Till this day Pip has never found out what Luz meant by that
Luz was basically being like the homophobic dog but in an ally way because she can feel her gay-dar go off every time she sees Pip and has attempted to let him know that she’s not only accepting but also a queer person herself… it uh didn’t work lmao
Luz fr
Apologies to those who can’t read my shitty handwriting but it basically says:
Luz: it’s pride month, Pip. You know what that means!!
Pip: huh
Pip: what
Pip: do you want us to do like?
Pip: a gay-lph? (gay glyph)
Pip: what?
I don’t think I’ve mentioned it at all but Pip is gay, but doesn’t really think it’s anything to like hide or be outward about due to growing up with the extremely accepting culture of boiling isles as it’s already extremely normalised and embedded into their society so it’s no biggie in his eyes.
So because of that he doesn’t really talk about it but as luz doesn’t have that context she thinks that he’s extremely deep inside the closet and that she can help him feel more accepted by giving hints that Pip straight up doesn’t get because of a) the gay culture scene in the demon realm is different to the human realm and b) the boy is ‘tismed up, still an extremely nice gesture from Luz as I don’t think she felt like her sexuality could be accepted in the human realm at all which is why she assumes it’s the same in the demon realm so I can just imagine what a really sweet moment it was she realises that homophobia straight up doesn’t exist there
#the owl house#toh#toh au#art#original character#golden heir au#the owl house au#oc#owl house au#oc stuff#pride month#luz the owl house#luz nuceda#luz the human#luz toh
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"I just want you to do me no good
And you look like you could."
🤝
"You have got that face that just says
'Baby I was made to break your heart'."
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i would love to hear about the ollie and handler crack ship here’s a silly doodle as well
LOVE THE DOODLE YOU SEE THE VISION!!!
Also this got my ass to design Ollie so:
(Love him - Also redesigned Reggie for this too so thanks!!)
And idk if it's moreso a crackship or a rarepair that only works in an AU (HACKS up Starstruck), but Reggie's line of "...and I hope Ollie made it out too. I hope a lot of things." It's totally me reading into it but like,,,,I want them to talk because Ollie is not dead to me in my heart of hearts.
Maybe the only change is like Reggie taps into the communication on the radio in Hot Water instead of using the earpiece, so Ollie ends up hearing him also? And they end up getting along really well (with Reggie having to jump through a couple hoops to be like "haha what agency..."). There's an Agency base in the South-East coast of Australia and maybe the Agency ends up adopting him after he washes up on the shore with the escape pod (after HEAVY questioning).
Alas take a doodle of my own:
Transcript (it's just canon lines):
Ollie: "She's being controlled, it's not her fault."
Reggie: "Agent, I have 0 experience dealing with giant security squids."
#idk i know realistically JJ and Reggie will probably never interact so like this is the one I can root for right?#<- ollie is probably still at the bottom of the ocean#alas. i think they could be silly together. because like. idk. they have the same vibe to me#i feel like they would have a GREAT TIME at a barbeque actually#i digress#in terms of the art though!!! Ollie!!!!!!!!n#I've never drawn dreads before shdjdkf i had to redraw the hair on that first one genuinely about 6 times#idk it came from like. if he's been underwater for a long time dread would prolly be somewhat convinent in terms of hairstyles#also we don't talk abt how ollie probably knew fabby because it's implied she was working down there????#tbh she probably hated himshsjekdld he would be clueless#and uhhhh back on my I can't draw reginald crane in a way im happy with ever. an example ahdkdlf#I've liked exactly 1 drawing of him I've ever done i think i need to do a completely different design over just the little tweaks here idk#anyways ty for the ask sorry it took so long to answer you can see why lmao#it was fun though!!! like i say it got my ass to draw ollie finally and i do like his design#ieytd#i expect you to die#[agent moose's art]#reginald crane#ollie ieytd#oh ship name ummmm#hm#earpiece??? uhhhhhhh radio signal???? idk#leavung it for now im so bad at naming things
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reading dungeon meshi
#random thoughts#it has the kind of plot i hate where you retread the same plot point repeatedly while making progress elsewhere#like hi falin bye falin#like i cared about them finding falin. then they found her. and now she's gone again.#i don't like marcille but in like. a compelling way. she's my favorite archetype of character who is specifically female for some reason?#lady who thinks her way is the right way and she's morally right and therefore everyone else is wrong#high conscientiousness with low openness to experience. see themselves as agreeable dutiful and restrained while not being any of that#they tend to take on moralistic causes but they usually don't have a defined reason for WHY they're doing it so it just comes off as preachy#and the narrative tends to take their side with no basis in why#like when marcille tried to prove herself with the mandrakes and put everyone in danger and senshi conceded he was ALSO in the wrong???#and even marcille was like 'that wasn't my point at all'#that entire chapter made me mad it was so good#it's also doing that thing i hate when a piece of media introduces too many characters at once#like who's who what's what who is important who should i remember#i love the detail put into the cooking sessions!!!#i love how all the characters are so fucked up and not even in plot-important ways#like chilchuck's cowardice is very important to the plot but senshi was straight-up willing to let a man die for his flavorful cooking lmao#laios is. my man. i need him carnally.#i get that the whole 'got eaten by dragon' thing was not meant to be the Whole Plot but i feel like the background plot is just not my thing#either that or it wasn't set up in a compelling enough way?#idk. im still reading#all in all i think dungeon meshi might just not be my thing? plot-wise i mean. i love the characters and the general premise#of monster biology and environmentalism and cooking and augh#i don't like how everytime senshi corrects marcille on something so far he ends up going 'i guess i also need to learn a thing or two'#like on the mandrakes? the man has FIELD EXPERIENCE he was entirely in the right to prefer his method!!!#and on the environment thing? first of all marcille's whole thing is building artificial dungeons she SHOULD care about the food chain#SECOND OF ALL telling marcille she shouldn't kill so many fishmen isn't playing GOD or whatever#that kraken was a fucking. extenuating circumstance. it was literally there just to make marcille's argument credible#animals killing each other through the food chain is different from marcille using what is essentially a rocket launcher#god i ran out of tags. peace and luv bruvs 🤟 kind of have a hate crush on marcille now. need her
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totally normal non-weird beat doodle that has no insane creepypasta joke au baggage (<- BLATANT LIE (WARNING FOR GORE/BODY HORROR IN LINK))
#jet set radio#pokepasta#creepypasta#beat jsr#explorers of death#crossover#blood#jsr eod#me making the eod jsr joke au like ''theres no way ill think too hard about the implications of this and get genuinely sad''#<- GUY WHO ALWAYS THINKS TOO HARD ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF JOKES AND GETS GENUINELY SAD#for those who arent familiar with explorers of death (why would you even look at this post? go read it)#[SPOILERS] squirtle (who beat is in the role of in this au) Wins at the end by murdering vulpix and thus becoming the True Hero#but like. the myras are essentially meant to be the Same Person yknow. and just fucking hate each other#beat and corn are. yknow... presumably. friends. not to even fucking mention gum as shadow who is SUPER doomed#so. basically. me joking aroudn like ''lmao joke eod crossover au where the ggs murder each other''#''........OH GOD. I JUST MADE A FUCKING AU WHERE THE GGS MURDER EACH OTHER. WHY DID I DO THAT?''#EXPLORERS OF DEATH ALWAYS MAKES ME SAD WHY DID I THINK /THIS/ WOULDNT MAKE ME SAD#also the worst part is the reason i even started thinking about this too hard is becasue me and pseud put eod!beat in our joke crossover rp#WITH THE GODDAMN YOYO WAREHOUSE (LONG STORY)#SO IVE BEEN FORCED TO THINK ABOUT HIM LONG ENOUGH THAT ITS MAKING ME FEEL SHRIMP EMOTIONS#ABOUT THIS GODDAMN AU THAT INTENTIONALLY DOESNT ACTUALLY HAVE ANY INTERNAL CONSISTENCY#THEY STILL LIVE IN TREASURE TOWN LIKE ITS A PMD GAME FOR GODSSAKES#every day i spiral further into my ouroboros of madness and its my own fault
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reading thru old meta posts on qian qiu and there's like, some stuff I agree with sure but there's also a lot I don't lol. w like yan wushi especially. there's a lot of. I think too much conventional-mindedness in approaching yws even from the ppl who did like him as a character. saying he's a difficult character, and is meant to be a difficult character, but then still framing him along more conventional moral frameworks. yet another apartment 'complex'? strange, I find it quite simple moments.
#qian qiu#yan wushi#sorry so many of you are still hung up over the *chapter 45* '''''betrayal''''' rip but i'm different#(though I wonder if I'd feel this way if ppl hadn't made such a big deal of it and so I was expecting The Betrayal to be like. worse lol)#like for me since I was expecting *a* betrayal when I hit it in chap 45 I was like. this is it? lmao I thought it was sth actually serious#and then ppl like I can't let it go or I can't get over him saying he doesn't regret it - like god forbid women do anything forreal#the thing about yan wushi is he is not just master-less he's also in many ways *peer*-less#and that's why to him he was so much on the 'what a shame you're like the one guy who maybe could have been my rival but you're not'#I think ppl see rival as like. could be my enemy. but it's like. someone has to be your peer to be your rival#and it's very much established that yan wushi even before his power level is like maxed up has this wild potential#there's that chap where sq reflects on what qfg said abt yws having the potential to be better than him#but also I think it's a huge mistake to see/think of yws as amoral#he HAS morals. they're just not the same as yours#he doesn't care about the greater good as a rule but he's also not completely indifferent to it#and like. I think it's also a simplification to say that 'sq breaks the rules of yws's world of human nature being inherently corrupt etc'#I think that's a belief that yws holds about human nature but I think he's also like. smarter than to believe in absolutes?#and besides. to say it that way I think frames it as if yws is in denial about sq's existence and nature#I just don't get that sense from him - imo he sees sq as more of a curiosity than a like aberration#he's testing sq's bottom line not necessarily bc he's convinced sq is secretly evil but he because he wants to see what sq's bottom line is#and he wants to know that because sq's nature is so different than his own or those he generally encounters and understands from people#he's squishing sq like a dog with a chew toy not because he wants to destroy it but because he wants to see exactly what kind of noises#he can get out of it and exactly how far he can squish it before it starts being too much#(but also I think bc he sees sq's potential to be on his level and wants to see if that can get teased out)#in a like... bonsai shaping kind of way#yes he's pruning the tree back and sometimes pruning & shaping quite hard#but as with the art of bonsai - it's an interactive dance and like only the tree can add material#and for all that you can prune & shape the tree you will never know exactly what the tree will do#SQ is also like a tree in the sense that like you have to prune to get read of dead growth & also encourage new growth#and SQ goes from that like houseplant side of the meme that's like i'm allergic to tapwater#to flourishing under the adversity and the 'i can eat thru concrete'
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fuuta is so interesting tbh
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#i voted innocent already but i'll see the drama audio as soon as there's a translation that i can watch/listen to after i do homework asap#i can really understand fuuta. he reminds me of me if i go too far#and so i think that in all honesty yeah guilty -> innocent -> innocent#unless he still might benefit most from a guilty vote this time around#he's really interesting bcs he's actually really similar to us. the viewers#'hoisting up morality and feeling good' he's calling the milgram project out and US. but he's now also being a hypocrite#which is interesting. he said in 'bring it on' smth smth about evil hypocrites are shit! he's like them now ngl#and so guilty vote i think was best. for the first. but ultimately he deserves innocent i believe#the 2nd trial i am unsure about bcs it will of course affect the last trial. and also the rest of the prisoners one way or another#and there is real danger of someone dying... but also idk they might have said that to scare us but this is deco*27. i believe that#the site is so slow oh my god bless i was able to vote almost immediately LMAO#i think fuuta obviously shows regret. also i don't think he was the one who started the flame but the one who added more fire to the flame#and he's. like. 'follows the flow' and 'coward' but 'good at heart'. and ultimately he should be forgiven i believe but yeah yeah?#he's at fault but not the most at fault but he deflects all taking of responsibility and i think that's wrong#i REALLY understand him with that. i was the same. and that's why now i'm still not fully honest with saying my true thoughts#because it's really just hard but ultimately you NEED to. and idk whether an innocent or guilty vote would be best ngl#hmmm tbh nothing is truly certain yet though. lots of theories still but for me thats the gist ^^ ?#he needs to be open about his feelings and thoughts. man up. take responsibility even if it likely is true he isn't the most at fault#because he still is. but at the same time the whole 'spectators' and 'pressure' makes me think it may be some sort of#yk. following the flow. peer pressure thing. and he was the one that was either the loudest in the end or the one who lagged behind#i think he was looking for some sort of validation of sorts maybe. seeking the applause. because he's 'last in line' ???#'blame-shifting'. i think he's a victim but he's still at fault one way or another but i think he isn't the main/first perpetrator fr#'one mistake and now i'm out of chances' he's defending himself and making excuses but also he's also right#maybe i'm projecting because i really relate to him (not to the extent of causing someone's death ofc but kid me was stupid)#'not my fault not even slightly' now THAT'S wrong. but it's more that he's in denial rather than now knowing that he's wrong#last tag! but yea tldr he's regretful but he still needs to get more out of denial. from experience innocent might actually help w that ngl#fuuta kajiyama
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Honestly "I could give you the world but you'd poison the seas" is Frosscore enough that it could apply to most people who have ever cared about him. But also, it should clearly be about Lis. Combine that with Aloy's "Elisabet is the only reason you even have a planet to return to" for greater impact. Boom
#not to be obsessed with not only my own playlists but also my own writing but. man. poetic cinema#starting to think that the reason fross is always self-sabotaging is because he's already convinced that everything will inevitably go wron#and instead of waiting for it to catch him off guard he just. poisons it a little himself first.#and maybe then it won't hurt as much when shit does hit the fan!#(< look at this dumbass (me) having the exact same realization about my characters five separate times bc my memory sucks 😔)#but just look at his history. every time he tried to do something the right way in earnest it got fucked up for reasons out of his control#so. i could see it. why put in the effort to do things the right way if he's gonna get disappointed in the end?#it's almost like the hurdles that he himself creates are a test. and smth can only be worth pursuing if it can endure those hurdles first#it makes sense why his redemption arc starts once he's stuck on earth and he's like.#''ok now nemesis is gonna kill me for sure. there is nothing i can do to make this situation any worse. guess i'll wash the dishes fml''#lol#but i also think about pre-apocalypse fross practically begging tilda to let him have something that's uniquely his. even if it sucks#(putting a pin on fross's anxieties about being cloned and his disdain towards aloy and beta in that regard)#because he feels like he's always been pulled by external forces and he doesn't know how to break free. doesn't think he even WANTS to#because it's all he's ever known. and stepping outside of his comfort zone is scary :')#but of course he doesn't have the emotional awareness to even be aware of any of that lmao. pity#oc: fross#oc tag#ramble#anyways. sorry i put the meat of this post in the tags. i didn't expect to write this much lol
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💌 : How would they plan a romantic evening for a significant other?
I'm cheating I choose all of your blorbos
YELLSSSS JUSTIN THERE ARE SO MANY BLORBOS!! This has also been tricky to think about because 'a romantic evening for a significant other' is not (necessarily) the same thing as 'a date', and also all of my OCs have either not been in an actual relationship in a long time, or have not been in one uhhh ever at all lmao
Elyss's idea of a romantic evening is private and intimate; I feel like she would plan something like an evening walk in the woods, but depending on the other person maybe also something cozy, like staying in and reading together by the fire (preferably the other person reading out loud to her)? I don’t think she’d plan anything near water for a romantic evening in case it distracted her (unless her partner can also breathe underwater, in which case yes yes obviously yes WHAT could be more romantic than sharing the overwhelming joy and peace of the quiet depths with someone you love)
Idri gets all her ideas about Romance from books and goes over the top setting up a fancy candlelit dinner, dancing, roses, chocolates, wine, rose petals all over the bedroom-- a very archetypal Whole Shebang. She can't cook, so the fancy dinner is at a fancy restaurant. She's the exact perfect blend of self-aware of how ridiculous it all is and playfully playing into that, while also being completely earnest about wanting it to be really fun and nice-- winking at them over the rose in her teeth, but only because she knows it’ll make them laugh
For Juniper, I feel like a part of her might be inclined to try to Do Things Correctly, especially if she’s not very confident yet in the relationship-- dinner, flowers, candles, dressing up probably. But if she’s more comfortable, she’d plan something less formally by the book, but more romantic to her, personally-- something like stargazing together, or getting up early just to watch the sunrise. There would still be flowers, but it’d be less ‘an obligatory bouquet in a vase’ and more ‘a bed of druidcrafted flowers she’s set up where they’re going to be stargazing’ or ‘a wild blossom tenderly tucked into her partner’s hair’
Aubree dotes-- she's cleaned the whole house, she's got a hot bath with candles and fancy soaps ready for them, she cooks their favorite dinner and dessert and presents it all as artfully as she can, and there's a bouquet of wildflowers on the table cause you've gotta have flowers if you're being romantic, she’s gonna give them a back rub at some point, etc. There’s also gonna be a lot of wine, cause wine pairs well with dinner and with dessert and with a cheese board and with backrubs and romantic bubble baths and suddenly that’s A Fair Bit, haha
Melliwyk is not especially good or well practiced at romance, so I think she’d struggle to figure out how to plan a romantic evening at all :’) I think she’d generally lean on Going Out (because that's what people do, isn't it?)-- a nice restaurant, or a museum or something-- preferably stuff more in line with the latter, because what could be more romantic than bonding over experiencing something interesting together? She probably would also bring a gift-- specifically, something personal and handmade
Nyssa’s romantic evening emphasizes sensuality; this is wine and chocolates in bed, surrounded by flowers and silks, and if you’re not already naked you’re overdressed. Her ‘plans’ aren’t any more specific than setting aside the entire evening, but the loose plan is to lounge and bask and talk and feed each other grapes and get drunk and play music and kiss a lot and get frisky whenever the spirit moves them
Kethri is the kind of person who loves going out and doing stuff, so I think a romantic evening (as opposed to a basic date night) would be a private night in, to center the relationship/ her partner and how much she cares about them. She’d dress up however she knows her partner likes best, and she’s probably written a song just for them, which she plays for them over after-dinner drinks by the fire. Kethri tends to be really playful and cheeky, so I think if she's planning a romantic evening it's going to highlight her tender and sincere side
Felix, even moreso than anyone else, is very minutely tailoring his to his partner’s tastes. In general, he really loves seeing people light up about the things that interest them and make them happy, so in a relationship, being able to do that for his partner would be the height of romance for him-- especially if it gives them an opportunity to get excited and talk about what interests them, like going to a play by a playwright they love so they can discuss the themes afterward, or whatever.
Um, also, this is a crossover ship I’ve only very casually indulged but this is SO specific to them I can’t just generalize about it: if the partner is Melliwyk, he has boobytrapped her entire house. Like, this is the ‘scavenger hunt that leads to the bedroom’ thing, but instead of clues that are just sheets of paper that amount to ‘look in the toaster’ the clues are all, like, meticulously planned escape room puzzles and actual riddles and shit. Also, they actually lead not to the bedroom but to a hot bath and an actual dinner, because the woman needs to be lovingly tricked into eating and relaxing literally ever
Ask about my OCs?
#come to think of it that's also maybe the most thoughtful and romantic thing someone could do FOR felix#'I invented an elaborate mystery for you to solve and rube goldberg'd the shit out of your house' means 'I love you' in gnomish#anyway thank you my love I'm sorry it took me TWO WEEKS to answer but you DID ask the trickiest question of ALL of my blorbos lmao#I know I had also tagged ambrose tsakesh and indigo in the ask prompt post but man I JUST ran out of steam sjhdjgf#tl;dr: ambrose is achingly capital-r Romantic and indigo takes them out stargazing and talking about destiny#(indigo employs the same strategy with casual hookups but actually he's completely sincere in either case)#tsakesh-- I'm not sure? I dunno why I'm having such a hard time with him on this question 🤔#nyssa is weird because with her cultural background I don't know if she groks romantic love BUT she would be very good at being romantic#oh make the other person feel deeply and personally loved?? slam dunk babey I can do that!#none of them would be bad at this in a way that's funny lol they're all either very charismatic or incredibly sincere (or both)#except mel but she's also not stupid ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like- her inability to plan a good romantic evening is that she doesn't think to do it at al#she forgets her own birthday half the time. she forgets to EAT#but if she DOES think to plan a romantic evening at all it's not gonna be like comically bad or anything#ask thing#not art#my OCs#elyss#idri#juniper#aubree#nyssa#melliwyk#kethri#felix
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muu, why did you turn out this way.
#and by that I mean muus really unhealthy habit of finding the person who dislikes him the most in a social group#or he finds to be the one who holds him at the greatest distance#and makes them his social project to prove to them that time with him can be as valuable as it is with anyone else#this has been an ongoing thing since he was sixteen so really I have to wonder tho like what fragment of his character#is the one most responsible for that level of behavior#the only thing I do know is that it IS a mother wound hence why those same men he will plead to get good attention from are#strangely categorized in his mind at time as mother or sought motherly connection from as I have Examples#and I should also say that muu has only successfully established a close friendship with 1 one of these chosen few#and that was royce because he refused to accept the narrative that the only thing that man was ever going to was hit him lmao and he won#but everyone else was very much so a loss so really his numbers are like 1 in whatever at this point#which is really why at this point in time I have to kind of nudge to people that if he appears obsessive about your character#or abnormally needy in a way yet moody in an almost less than age appropriate manner than one would expect from a 26 year old#it is because is That person that makes him feel bad about himself and he won't Just Tell them That
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2023 reads // twitter thread
Never Been Kissed
adult demi mm romance
a film studies graduate managing his town’s dying drive in theatre is desperate to save it, and tries to convince a reclusive local director to show her lost media film
also his ex crush/best friend is the new social media manger there
#never been kissed#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#ok first i was looking at GR to write my little blurb and it and all the reviews ONLY mention the romance plot none of the old movie subplot#that was the only interesting thing to me but i guess the romance part is more significant#the set up of the romance plot which is all mentioned in the blurb was kinda stupid and unnecessary#like i don’t get the conflict between them at the start. lmao what was the point in the email thing. just to make it immediately awkward?#would the history & suddenly in the same job not do that just as well?#i was fully expecting the other email guy to show up late in the book or something but that was just. never mentioned again#the mc is. pretty infuriating tbh#half the conflict at the start is them not getting a chance to have. conversation because the MC keeps stopping the LI from telling him anyt#thing. either by saying “i don’t want to talk” or just cutting him off with what he assumed he’s gonna say.#even later in the book he keeps cutting him off which still causes problems!!!!!#“he promised we could communicate but was keeping a secret” bitch you never let him tell you anything#alloro people are so annoying. also he’s like an annoying film fan. like not in the misogynistic way but….#+ he’s come out as gay but feels like something isn’t quite right identifies as queer (idk why he can’t use gay….what’s with people thinking#that asexuality and gayness are mutually exclusive identities). like yay for queer also but?? both are true#overall: sure i guess?? i liked the grumpy old lady. everything else i didn’t care about much#uh there’s also a ‘totem pole’ misuse reference somewhere in there
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