#who knows though bc the ao3 tag is still pretty active
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So, I’ve been SUPER hyperfixated on Night at the Museum lately, and as a result I have watched every film multiple times in the last two or three weeks except for the last one bc it’s really bad. This was going to be a post about how shitty Night at the Museum: Kahmunrah Rises Again really is, but I got carried away with my analysis of the first film, so I’ll have to come back to it later and talk about how perfect Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb was to bookend the original trilogy and how well it shows the growth of Larry and Nick, but for now have this analysis of the original Night at the Museum.
The first film, Night at the Museum is a really nice opening film for the franchise, and even a great standalone! The film starts with an uncertain Larry Daley, unemployed and on the verge of another eviction (This is implied when his ex-wife, Erica, asks, “You didn’t get evicted again, did you?” and Larry responds, “I didnt...get evicted. I didn’t get evicted, no. I mean, I didn’t... No, I didn’t get evicted, yet.”), whose ten-year-old son, Nick, is so used to his father’s instability that he’s already making his own backup plan. Following his peewee hockey game, he tells Larry that he wants to be a bond trader because that’s what Erica’s fiance, Don, does. When Larry protests with, “But you love hockey!” Nick replies, “Yeah, but bond trading is my fallback.”
to Nick, Don is stable. Don is safe. What Don does makes his mom happy. Larry is always on the verge of some sort of collapse, and he sees his mom stress about it every single day. Nick loves his father very, very much, but he’s getting to an age where some things are starting to click for him. It’s not normal to have to move every few months. It’s not normal for his dad to have a different career every time he sees him. It’s not normal for him to be constantly worried about whether or not his dad will have a job tomorrow.
Nick is a very realistic depiction of a ten-year-old boy, in my opinion, and I think his actor did an amazing job portraying the emotions the script calls for. We only see Nick laugh in the movie one time, and it’s when Larry is teasing him about becoming a bond trading robot. This is immediately juxtaposed by Nick telling Larry that Don is stable, that bond trading is his backup plan, that he is making a Plan B before he’s even had time to think about Plan A. Larry asks Nick where he even heard the term “fallback” and Nick reveals that it came from his mother, who has apparently vented enough about Larry’s, quote, “crazy schemes,” that it has stuck as something important in Nick’s mind.
This seems to be the kick in the pants that Larry really really needed to find and stick with a job: the fact that his ten-year-old is stressed about his own future to the point of pre-planning for failure of a dream he hasn’t even cemented yet. It clicks for Larry that, because he has put so much into chasing his dreams, his own son thinks that dreaming is essentially a waste of time.
We see instances of this sort of reoccuring to Larry throughout the film each time he goes to quit. He has the most insane, unstable job he could possibly have, but it is still more sane and stable than what he has now. Because what he has now is nothing. What he has now is a failed attempt at cheating a parking meter and a boot on his car. What he has now is a son who is so embarrassed by him that he won’t even tell him about Parent Career Day. What he has now is an ex-wife who is also his best friend who cannot, in good conscience, let him take his own son for the night. What he has now is a kid who is trying to be an adult when he should be focusing on doing literally whatever he wants.
The first time Larry tries to quit, he runs into Nick and Don as he’s exiting the building, and seeing his son with such a stable father figure makes him turn around and try again. It makes him beg Dr. McPhee for a second chance. It gives him new resolve to try and do this right this time.
The second time, when Dr. McPhee fires him, it’s that same desire for stability that drives him to fight for one more chance at this job. It’s seeing Nick not believe him about getting his job back that makes him the most eager to prove himself. Hell--he even tries to prove himself to Rebecca that night! When nothing comes to life at dusk, Nick once again assumes his father is just..unstable. And Larry is desperate to disprove that. Nick takes off, and when Larry asks where he’s going, he insists that he’s going home. His trust in his father has been betrayed for the last time.
And then they run into the old Night Guards, and Larry pleads with Nick to believe him one more time. To just turn the middle piece of the tablet, and the whole museum will come to life, and he’ll be just that much less insane in the eyes of his own child. And Nick does. And it works! and they have a wild adventure of a night! And Larry saves the day! And he doesn’t lose his job! And everything works out!
And then, at the end of the film, we have a Larry who, in all his instability, manages to balance the impossible task of getting an entire museum to live together in harmony. We have a Nick who can let loose, who can allow himself to ride on the back of a T-Rex, and who can be proud enough of his father to bring him to Career Day, and whose belief in the dreams and magic of the world has been restored because his father refused to let them die. And when Larry asks if Nick is ready to go home, he says a casual, smiley, “Nope.”
#Maple gabs#Jay jabbers#Night at the Museum#Meta#night at the museum meta#Night at the Museum plot analysis#Night at the Museum Larry#Night at the Museum Nick#no one's probably in the tag these days anyway but I really have just been drowning in Night at the Museum#who knows though bc the ao3 tag is still pretty active#yes I read NatM fanfiction don't judge me /lh
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potato, potato, my little baby potato...
Pairing: Ellie x Dina
Tags/warnings: fluff, pregnancy, childbirth, domesticity, motherhood, slice of life, pregnant dina
Word Count: 1766
Synopsis: A peek into Ellie and Dina's life before JJ was born.
Author's Note: wrote this back in june of 2022 and posted it on ao3, decided to post it here too bc why not <;3 here is the ao3 link!! also idk how well this will do bc I know this site mostly has x reader fics but I love elliedina with my whole soul OKAY. please enjoyyy comments are appreciated!!
When Dina first noticed her small baby bump, it filled her with pure joy. She remembered standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gently rubbing her stomach, eyes full of admiration. Ellie was behind her, hands wrapped around her waist, experiencing a fluttery feeling in her stomach at the thought of her being a mother – which is something she never would've imagined in her wildest dreams. In a dangerous world like the one they navigated, she never believed parenthood would be an option for her, nor was she really interested in it. Ellie thought children were cute, sure, with their contagious giggles and chubby faces, but she knew taking care of one would be more responsibility than she felt she could handle. But with Dina being with her, she felt this unbridled sense of confidence. Dina was caring and loving by nature, and Ellie had a hunch motherhood would come to her easily – with Dina by her side she had someone's footsteps to follow in.
Despite being pregnant, Dina was still very active around the house, much to Ellie's disapproval. Anytime Ellie saw Dina on her feet, whether she was doing the dishes, taking out the laundry, or even getting up to put her plate in the sink, she always made a face similar to that of a displeased mother who couldn't get her sick child to lie down. But Dina always retorted with "It's not like I'm completely immobile yet, so don't worry."
Dina also spent a lot of time preparing for their baby's arrival, with the help of Ellie and some fellow Jackson residents.
Maria had connections with a lot of people in Jackson. Random strangers were kind enough to give Ellie and Dina a ton of baby-related things, like a crib, toys, and even books. They spent a whole day setting things up and figuring out where to put certain items, and when they had finished, Dina began to cry, feeling overwhelmingly grateful. Ellie was right there with her, rubbing her back in a soothing manner and holding her close, almost being brought to tears herself as she gazed upon the empty crib.
A few more weeks went by, and Dina's baby bump was getting pretty large. Dina started complaining more about her back hurting, and she couldn't be on her feet for very long. Nevertheless, she still helped Ellie around the house when she could, with small breaks in between. She began using the bathroom more frequently, which quickly began getting on her nerves, as it disrupted her sleep, or interrupted a good reading session. Ellie would always chuckle whenever they were in bed together, her nose buried in a Savage Starlight comic and Dina practicing her embroidery, when all of sudden Dina would groan loudly and reluctantly get out of bed, angrily making her way to the bathroom for the seventh time in just thirty minutes.
Then, of course, it got to the point where walking was something Dina did only when she needed to. It had been eight months and her stomach looked like it was ready to burst. Ellie found herself helping Dina walk up and down the stairs, getting out of bed in the morning, and even getting up and off of the toilet. Jackson residents also gave away some maternity clothing, which Dina often lounged about in. Even though pregnancy was miserable for Dina, Ellie couldn't help but notice how beautiful she had gotten. Dina had always been attractive in Ellie's eyes, even since they were kids, but Dina really seemed to glow now.
Before, Dina's hair was always in some sort of up-do, because she was always doing various tasks around the house and needed it out of her face. But since she's been lazing about more often, she usually wore her hair down, and Ellie was in love with how thick and long it had gotten, her unruly curls framing her face in the most breathtaking way. Her skin was brighter, and it almost seemed to shine in a way that totally captivated Ellie. Sometimes, Ellie would find herself ogling at Dina whenever she was doing some random, mundane task, to which Dina would always notice and turn into the prettiest shade of red.
Right on the cusp of her delivery date, Ellie and Dina had a small baby shower. They had a wonderful time, Dina spending hours unwrapping cute onesies, even more toys and a couple parenthood books. It all felt so normal, so domestic, that it almost made Dina cry again, but she kept it together for the sake of her guests.
It was late at night when their child decided to arrive. Ellie was wide awake, reading her comic book, while Dina was trying to figure out a crossword puzzle. It was quiet and the room was basked in the cozy, soft lighting of the bedside lamp. Dina couldn't seem to figure out the last word of her crossword and decided to give up and try again tomorrow morning with a fresh mind. She turned to her side, groaning at the heaviness at her stomach, and shut her eyes. Ellie glanced at her briefly, smiling softly and whispering "Goodnight, babe."
The room was quiet once again, Ellie getting immersed into the fictional world of Savage Starlight, but after about five minutes, Dina was startled awake, feeling wetness trail down her legs. She sat up rather quickly, as quickly as she could, anyway, and Ellie turned to her with a confused and slightly concerned expression.
"Do you need to use the bathroom again?" Ellie asked, ready to get up and assist her girlfriend. Dina shook her head, her eyes having widened ever so slightly, cheeks flushed, and heart rate steadily increasing.
"Ellie… I think… I think it's time." Dina said. It took a little bit for the words to register in Ellie's mind, but when they did, she was immediately kicked into action, setting her comic book down and getting out of bed.
"Okay. Let's get you comfortable, yeah?" She said, peeling away the damp comforter that was on top of Dina. She had Dina lie down a little bit while still staying somewhat upright. Dina instinctively opened her legs, trying to get started on removing her underwear. Ellie helped her, pulling them completely off and discarding them haphazardly. Afterward, Ellie quickly ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, aiding Dina in rolling over so she could place it under her. She had also grabbed scissors and placed them on the nightstand.
Ellie's palms were sweaty. She remembered asking a mother at the baby shower how to prepare for birth, and Ellie tried her best to recall the woman's advice. It was stressful, trying to think while Dina was screaming at the top of her lungs, holding Ellie's hand so hard that her knuckles had turned white as bone. Ellie just tried to be as encouraging as possible, keeping her tone of voice even and steady throughout the whole process.
Eventually, the room was no longer being filled with Dina's cries of pain but instead her labored breaths and the shrill sound of a baby crying. Their child had finally entered the world.
Dina, with tear streaked cheeks, immediately reached out for her child. Ellie held him briefly, smiling so hard her cheeks were growing sore. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in this ugly, ugly world. Ellie made quick work of cutting the umbilical cord before carefully handing him to Dina.
"Hello handsome." Dina spoke softly, grinning tiredly. Ellie was overjoyed at the sight in front of her. They were mothers now. For Ellie, this was the most nervous she had ever been. Not even fighting hordes of infected had her this scared. But she was also excited to step into this new era of her life. She knew that motherhood was going to be a bumpy ride, but so long as Dina was with her, she knew that she'd get through all of the trials and tribulations just fine.
"I think I've got a name." Dina said, bringing Ellie out of her thoughts.
Ellie raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? Whatcha got?" She replied, a small smirk resting on her lips.
"How does JJ sound?" Dina asked. Ellie's smirk grew into a wide smile of approval.
"I like that. Suits him perfectly." She said.
After JJ was born, life for the two new mothers definitely became more hectic.
JJ would start crying late at night, and Ellie, wanting her beloved girlfriend to get all of the sleep she could get, was always the one who got up to calm him down. She would gently bounce him, humming some random tune to get him to relax, before lying him back in his crib. Ellie missed out on a few hours of sleep because of this, but she didn't mind it one bit if it meant Dina would wake up well rested (sometimes, though, Dina would pretend to sleep just to hear Ellie sing).
Feeding JJ could be nightmarish too. He was a picky eater sometimes, and would throw food on the floor or spit it out onto his bib, causing Ellie to roll her eyes and Dina to giggle at the sight. Dina was definitely more patient when it came to JJ but she knew Ellie would get there – slowly, but surely.
Changing diapers was mostly a Dina thing until Ellie got the hang of it. Before, she would always put them on backwards, much to Dina's confusion.
Aside from all of the difficulties, there were plenty of joyous moments that the two mothers shared with their son. Often, Ellie would play guitar for him. Whenever Ellie was out hunting, or doing some general sweeps around the outer perimeter of the house, Dina would spend that time coloring with him, or playing with wooden shapes. She tried to get him to participate in activities that would not only be fun for him but educational as well. If Dina was busy, Ellie loved to (carefully) run around the house with JJ on her shoulders, his contagious laughter bouncing off of the walls.
At night, Ellie and Dina loved to read him bedtime stories, both playing multiple characters and doing the silliest voices they could come up with until JJ slowly drifted away into a peaceful slumber.
The both of them would then climb into bed together, exchanging "I love yous," after which Dina would continue to read her parenthood guidebooks and Ellie would begin yet another chapter of Savage Starlight, the both of them sitting in a comfortable silence.
#ellie williams#tlou#the last of us#tlou fic#ellie tlou fic#the last of us fic#ellie x dina#dellie#elliedina#ellie tlou fanfiction#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams fic#the last of us part 2#tlou2 fic#tlou2 fanfic#ellie williams x reader#tlou2
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hello and welcome to this month’s fic rec featuring works that i’ve read and loved during the past weeks. as always, please check tags before reading. if you liked the fics please reblog their posts, leave kudos and write a nice comment. happy reading!
🔒 = only for ao3 users
rec tag | more rec lists
— harry/louis —
໑ Nights Like These, We'll Remember by @fallingdefenceless
(T, 1.8k, strangers to lovers, music festival au)
this was so much fun to read. i loved the characterisations and the bands and songs mentioned. it’s a sweet take on the song “Silver Tongues”.
໑ face to face at the kitchen table by @disgruntledkittenface
(NR, 2k, exes to lovers, hopeful ending)
this was amazingly written! and when the tags said “hopeful ending”, they really meant it!
໑ My Arm Might Be Broken, But I Won't Be Broken Down by BoosBabycakes / @boosbabycakes28
(T, 2.3k, established relationship, canon, fluff and humour)
omg this was so sweet and cute! the fic truly means ‘canon’ bc this is something Louis would do.
໑ 🔒 Five Zero Five by Stria / @nooradeservedbetter
(E, 2.5k, established relationship, canon divergence, pwp, dom/sub, read tags and author’s note)
remember when Louis sang “505” for the first time and we all collectively lost it? well, this fic encompasses extremely well my feelings about Louis’ cover choice.
໑ love was a pretty lie by dragmedown / @itsnothesameasitwas
(M, 3k, established relationship, college au, sex while high, read tags and author’s note)
a story based on the song “Silver Tongues”. this was so entertaining to read, i loved how their relationship worked, and even more to know it exists a sequel to this story so you know how they ended up.
໑ Together We're the Greatest by @hellolovers13
(E, 4.6k, getting back together, dystopian au, read tags)
this story fits very well the vibe of “The Greatest”. i always thought that song would make a nice soundtrack for an action movie. if you don’t like blood though, be careful with this one.
໑ 🔒 The Light Streams Out by Stria / @nooradeservedbetter
(G, 6k, friends to lovers, magic au, animal transformation)
this was such a lovely read! it had pining, longing, embarrassing moments, and lots of fluff.
໑ That's The Way Love Goes by red_PANdaaa28 / @red-pandaaa
(M, 8.7k, established relationship, lilo friendship, song fic, flashbacks)
this story was so pretty. it’s inspired by the song “That’s The Way Love Goes” and shows not only Louis’ support for Liam, but also the other way around. it hurt but i enjoyed it a lot.
໑ 🔒 High Tide by Stria / @nooradeservedbetter
(E, 14.3k, strangers to lovers, covid au, pwp, dom/sub, read tags and author’s note)
i absolutely loved the chemistry between Harry and Louis, and it showed in all the activities they did together, and i mean it bc even shopping online together was cute coming from them.
໑ Captain Cupid by @2tiedships2
(NR, 15.3k, friends to lovers, a/b/o au, nesting, touch deprivation)
this was such a fun and lovely story! Captain Niall always knows best, and this time it wasn’t the exception. there were so many moments that warmed my heart, especially the tub scene! go read it so you don’t miss out.
໑ Moments of Memories by momentofclarity / @gaycousinlarry
(M, 17.8k, friends to lovers, reunited au, old louis, old harry)
a beautiful story about second chances and reunions. i honestly loved the way everything was told, and how it felt like i was too an old friend who got to learn abt their life after years of not seeing them. it was cosy and sweet, and very hopeful.
໑ Hold Me How the Deep Night Has by @crochetsunsets
(E, 48k, enemies to lovers, magic au, historical, read tags)
my heart is still beating fast just remembering everything that i felt when i read this story. it’s about hope, about love, about time… it really cut so deep, but it didn’t hurt, i just can’t explain it. please go read it.
໑ Welcome Home by Jelon
(E, 49k, strangers to lovers, kid fic, football au, football player louis, baker harry, dad harry)
i love kid fics and this one has the best elements of one. i truly liked Louis’ relationship with Max but also the passion of his relationship with Harry.
໑ your memory over me by @shimmeringevil
(E, 64.3k, exes to lovers, greece au, journalist harry, rich louis, vacation)
loved that this was set in Greece, and all the tension surrounding the vacation, not only between Louis and Harry who were the exes, but like with everyone there. it was just delicious and so entertaining to read!
໑ Gemma's Dad (Could Use A Guy Like Me) by @lululawrence
(NR, 82k, neighbours to lovers, stacy’s mom au, age difference, summer)
i loved this story bc it made me feel like i was spending summer with them (it was that or the 31°C on the day i read this). it was a sweet fic, with lots of flirting, and love all around.
— rare pairs / categories —
໑ Bound by @ladyaj-13
(zayn/liam, G, 619, vampire au, arranged marriage, vampire zayn, human liam)
this fic was amazing! it might be tiny but it had me screaming bc of how good it is.
໑ hoping it never ends by @lvinlou
(spanish, louis/sebastian stan, E, 1.2k, established relationship, pwp)
this was so hot! i usually don’t read fics in spanish but i saw this one under the pairing tag and i knew i had to read it.
໑ Quite the Pickle by @lululawrence
(harry/louis/nick grimshaw, NR, 1.4k, crack, pregnancy cravings)
this was so sweet and funny. relatable if you either dislike pickles or like gossip, or both lol.
໑ after hours by edensrose / @holdingthornsandroses
(louis/pedro pascal / louis/pedro pascal/oscar isaac, E, 16.7k, friends to lovers, coffee shop au, dancer louis, read tags)
i don’t know how else to describe this fic other than hot hot hot! but also there were so many romantic and sweet moments. it was perfect!
໑ Bloom by @ladyaj-13
(louis/liam, T, 29k, enemies to lovers, 1970s, murder mystery, endeavour au, read tags)
i absolutely enjoyed this story! i was so hooked with the way everything was written. as someone who enjoys crime solving stories, this one amazed me in so many ways, and that’s not considering the romantic aspect of it bc that was great in another level.
໑ take me back, take me back by eynap / @panye
(niall/shawn mendes, E, 32k, strangers to lovers, wedding au, coming out)
this such a fun and entertaining read. it put a smile on my face and kept me at the edge of my seat. definitely check it out!
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
tagged by @zainclaw and @andavs 🥰🥰🥰
How many works do you have on ao3?
39 apparently
What's your total ao3 word count?
288,797 words
What fandoms do you write for?
actively right now? nothing really lol. haven't published a fic since 2022. but i guess you could say 911 and teen wolf given some random WIPs in my drafts. also i randomly started jotting down some notes for a stranger things steve/eddie fic that will probably never be written.
Top five fics by kudos
01. take my hand (take my everything) (buddie)
02. taste your beating heart (sterek)
03. so show me (family) (buddie)
04. you never said a word (sterek)
05. be careful (my darling) (buddie)
Do you respond to comments?
yes, always! i usually try to wait until i have a dozen or so, which can sometimes take a bit of time, but eventually i respond to it all.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
i have a sterek drabble called and i fell heavy into your arms (688 words) that is basically derek seeing stiles die and then immediately letting himself be killed
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
most of them?? not sure i can think of one specifically that was happier than the others.
Do you get hate on fics?
ah, i almost said no, but then i remembered that for my fic taste your beating heart every now and then i'll get scott fans who think the fic should be tagged as "bad friend scott mccall" even though he's NOT a bad friend in the fic, it's just a nuanced view of their changing relationship. like, that fic is about 3 main things that include: stiles and derek getting together, solving the main mystery, and stiles and scott's friendship maturing to a place where they can love each other and still be brothers without thinking they need to be in the same pack!! like it's FUNDAMENTAL.
anyway, i had one reader who i think quit the fic halfway through bc i gently pushed back on their rage comment insulting derek and stiles for a fight that takes place with scott. the reader left an angry reply to my response, which they then deleted before i could even look at it, and then never commented on the fic again even though they'd been commenting on the fic since chapter 1.
Do you write smut?
no not really. i don't know why i'm so bad at writing sex, but i am very bad at writing sex.
Craziest crossover
i have no crossovers
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of??
Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes, someone translated my mike/harvey suits fic trembling hands into russian all the way back in 2013.
Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
i have not!
All time favourite ship?
to write? to read? no idea, so i refuse to answer.
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
i've got a sterek idea that's an AU of the netflix show virgin river. i had a pretty brief outline that i sketched out some, and even started writing a little, but it never went anywhere. i did create an AU gifset for it and every now and then when people start reblogging it i think about going back to try and write it.
What are your writing strengths?
i think i'm good at realistic dialogue? but i don't know. i haven't written in a while so i'm not feeling super great about my writing at this very moment.
What are your writing weaknesses?
i suck at setting a scene. and conveying a complex emotion. also i feel like i get v bogged down in what characters are physically doing or whatever and i try to describe it and it just detracts from the story over all. yikes ok i'm feeling worse about my writing than i thought lol
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
if the context is there to understand what's being said, great. otherwise, just adding context to the dialogue tag (he said in french, in german, etc) works. personally i'd prefer not to scroll back and forth between the fic and the notes to figure out what's being said.
First fandom you wrote in?
harry potter. on the site quizilla back in the year of our lord 2005 lol. i started off writing like. a harry/oc fic lol where the protagonist was the classic american exchange student who had her own prophecy. truly mortifying!!
Favorite fic you've written?
i have a soft spot for taste your beating heart bc it was the first long fic i ever completed and it took me 7 fucking years to write it. but i think my favorite is actually finding our way (back home) which i really think captured everything i was aiming to do. will i ever be able to do that again??? who fucking knows. probably not. on the more self-indulgent side, i really really love the margaret buckley character study i wrote called so far from who i was.
tagging!! @woodchoc-magnum, @crazyassmurdererwall, @tattooedsiren, @machtaholic, @catdadeddie, @tripleaxeldiaz, @valleydean, @thisapplepielife, and anyone else who wants to do this.
#tagged in#about kat writes#i am.#not feeling good about my writing at this very moment apparently lol
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20 questions for fic writers
I was tagged by @kieran-granola and @waffleinator-inator!!! Thank you both for the tags omg I appreciate it dearly 💚💚💚
How many works do you have on AO3?
20! (Woah!!)
What’s your total A03 word count?
309,119
What fandoms do you write for?
I have only ever written DC fic. Literally ever. I've never written fic that wasn't for DC.
What are your top five fics by kudos?
Now Kiss (Which on the one hand is very surprising to me, but on the other hand is a blessing moreso than a curse? I'm trying to look at it as a reminder that people love what I write even when I don't think it's perfect)
Know Yourself (GOD I really want to get back to this one. I want to finish it so bad, the plot of it is still mocking me from The Corkboard and I know I'm just stuck in the mud of the middle right now, which I will get through eventually)
Rooftops & Bookshops (Honestly, not that surprising to me considering it's one of my oldest and it's finished, even though I don't love the writing so much anymore and personally think I've improved significantly since writing it. That said, I do still love the plot of it and if I went back to edit, it would only be prose that I changed. But I'm NOT DOING THAT FOR THE RECORD. Also I have a soft spot for this fic bc I met one of my besties bc of it 💚)
Pieces of Me (Pieces of You) (I'm super proud of my additions to this piece. Not much more to say. @chibinightowl was wonderful to work with and gave me some incredibly helpful advice that I really think helped me improve massively as a writer)
Subtle (This is so surprising to me actually?? Like, huh?? It's one of my oldest and it's pretty fluffy, so maybe that's why?)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I love to respond to comments, I love to receive comments, but I am currently so so so far behind on responding that I'm actively stressed about it when I think about it which is not helping me with the writer's block I am currently experiencing 😭
What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably You Hear His Voice Once and You Know It Again. Like, the ending is horny, but also it's fucked up so I'd call it the angstiest.
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Maybe Good Morning? That fic is SO fluffy
Do you get hate on your fic?
No, I've never gotten hate on a fic. I've occasionally gotten a few comments that were clearly people trying to be helpful by offering unsolicited advice or saying what they want to see in a story, but I disregard those because they don't bother me.
That said, I have gotten a weird amount of comments on Now Kiss that referred to the city with gendered terms despite my adamant and intentional refusal to do so in the fic, because sentient cities do not have genders and I am non-binary. I'm assuming most of these were innocuous/from people who just are used to referring to a city in female terms, but I have also gotten some feedback specifically from people who wanted me to gender the city in female terms and mentioned that it had a negative impact on their reading, which frustrated me as a person who doesn't ascribe to the gender binary, but I am not going to go on a rant abt right now because this is supposed to be a fun thing :))
Do you write smut?
Yep! Takes me like 25 years, but yeah
Do you write crossovers?
No, I also don't particularly like crossovers
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
If I have, I don't know about it!
Have you ever had a fic translated?
If I have, I also don't know about it! Open invitation, though. Just let me know if you want to so we can both be listed as authors!!
Have you ever co-written a fic?
Yeah! I wrote Pieces of Me (Pieces of You) with Chibi for the jaytim WIP exchange, and I have a few other fics that I want to write with people, one of which is like. It's not not in the works, we've just been distracted from it 😂
What‘s your all-time favorite ship?
Okay look it CHANGES. I go through phases. That said, probably a tie between JayTim and DamiTim. The scales tip with them pretty often though, sometimes one will win over, sometimes the other will. Currently I'm in my damitim era.
What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Oh, don't even ask me that. I don't doubt my ability to finish ANY of them on principle that if I start doubting, I've already given up. That said, the most complicated/on the backburner one of them right now is What Are You Waiting For? (which is a bummer because I really am excited about it, but I try to just write what I'm feeling inspired to write in any given moment, which right now is nothing fandom related unfortunately)
What’s your writing strengths?
Hurt/comfort and angst, or so I have been told. Also, dialogue.
What’s your writing weaknesses?
Probably over-editing and being too hard on myself when it comes to my writing in the first place. Also, I really struggle with descriptions of places.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
If I did, I'd need someone to double check that everything was correct, but as long as someone else was willing and able to make sure it was right, I would!
First fandom you wrote for?
DC lmao, but the fic I wrote had no plot and shall never see the light of day
Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
I Know What My Brother Is, hands down. I love the prose SO much it's just. akdfjakl. I'm REALLY happy with it.
Okay! No pressure tagging (and sorry if any of y'all have already done this) @chipmunkery @this-was-a-terrible-idea @ragnarokhound @cheetahleopard @deepwithintheabyss @zeroducks-2
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stole this from @wingsyouburn because why not! Not going to tag anyone, but if you'd like to fill this out yourself, consider yourself tagged!!
How many works do you have on AO3?
384 :')
What's your total AO3 word count?
1,836,435
What fandoms do you write for?
Yes.
Ok but real answer? Current active ones are FF, Fire Emblem, and 13 Sentinels. I'll bounce around tho, depending on what inspires me. Like I always dip in and out of any video game fandom.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1) Sweet Dreams (Witch from Mercury, sulemio)
2) Finally, Beautiful Stranger (FFVII, aerti)
3) Wings of Valor and Compassion (Overwatch, pharmercy)
4) Give Them Something to Talk About (TLOU2, Dina/Ellie)
5) No Safety in Desire (BotW, Urbosa/Zelda)
It does please me that my top fics are all femslash HSKDJAJD
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I definitely try my best to!! Unless it's very rude or makes me uncomfortable in some way, then I either don't comment on those specific bits or just ignore it altogether. I've had a handful of people make very backhanded remarks and I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it's really awkward when an absolute stranger treats me with too much familiarity just bc we share the same ship.
What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably Limbo? It does not have a happy ending and ends on a very horrifying note. What Becomes of Practice also comes to mind, seeing that the main character goes through hell and ends up dying, though IS reunited with her father in the afterlife 😭
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
God I really don't know. I'm more of an angst writer, so a lot of those happy endings are prefaced with a lot of pain lolsob so I feel pretty much any of my angst with a happy ending fics can qualify for this!! Tho I have received a ton of comments about how fluffy and cozy Finally, Beautiful Stranger's ending was, so I'll pick that one!!
Do you get hate on fics?
Not regularly, but it has happened. I've gotten "ew this is gross" remarks on just writing about gay people. I've gotten weird comments about a brief nightmare scene in a fix-it fic, despite tagging for it, bc "she's suffered enough, why would you do this". And more recently, I've gotten some "this doesn't make sense, why would this character ever be depressed/angry" bc I guess female characters who are conveyed as bubbly in the source material aren't allowed to experience any range emotion outside of that and shame on me for wanting to explore darker themes, like recovering from trauma and depression. Bonus points when the male pov character does way more fucked up stuff and no readers call him out on it (sorry, I'm still very bitter about this)
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Hell yeah! All my smut, even my attempts at pwp, always incorporate feelings and more often than not gain a plot along the way. I can't help it. I love the build-up and tension leading to the main event. I need to give my readers blue balls, I guess fjlahdskdh
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Not really. I'm more of an AU person than anything. Even going through my fics, the only proper crossover I've written was If You Had Life Eternal, but even that is like, reimagining Warcraft characters in the Diablo universe and that's kinda it.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
SADLY YES >:/ thankfully, it was removed from FFN, but I really hated that someone copy-pasted my fic and just changed the character names to fit their ship.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have!! Several times!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope. The closest I've come is like, sharing ideas on a single continuity with someone else and then writing it out on my own. I do like collaborative stuff with people I trust, but I don't want to co-write anything lolsob
What's your all-time favorite ship?
EVER????? It varies from fandom to fandom, even year to year. Celes/Setzer will always have a special place in my heart, even if I don't write for them as often anymore. But right now, keinatsu is dominating my life and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.
What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
God, so many. I have my one Setzer fic that I posted the first chapter, managed to write the second one two years later, and then…. did fuck all with it. Also remembering the Darill/Maria/Setzer longfic I wrote and even did an initial editing pass, but that's now rotting on my laptop. It got a bit too personal at one point and I don't know if I'll ever share it :/ oh and that one Overwatch longfic I got 80k~ into and then abandoned bc the fandom was shitty and I didn't want to invest any more time in it
What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue, describing scenery, evoking all kinds of emotions.
What are your writing weaknesses?
jfc I'm incapable of shutting up and keeping things short
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I guess it depends? Like I used French in Darkness/Starlight for Jidoorian and the only times Setzer spoke in that was when he was open about his feelings, but didn't want Celes to know. But if the reader translated those parts, they could get more insight as to where his headspace was at. But normally, I would want things written out in a way that's understandable to the audience. If there's a phrase or whatever in a different language, I try to italicize it, but that's it.
First fandom you wrote for?
Vividly remember writing about my self-insert OC in a post-canon FFVII/Sailor Moon crossover that lived in spiral-bound notebooks at the age of 11. But the first fandom I actually posted something for online was Metal Gear Solid back in like… 2001???? It was forever ago lolsob
Favorite fic you've ever written?
This changes over time, but I'm still very proud of What Leads You Here. I put a lot of work into it and am so happy I could share it with the fandom and even happier that a ton of folks enjoyed it!!
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Here's what I missed on ! Tumblr !
It's pretty weird to return to this site after so long. (I'm not exactly a "Twitter refugee" as they seem to be called lmao, more like someone who, because of the whole Twitter stuff, realised that there are still people on Tumblr? And apparently the site stopped their weird filtering/post banning system bc they now allow porn again? Anyway,) I don't remember when I was last active on Tumblr because I deleted my old blog some years ago, but if I had to guess I was probably active from around 2013 to 2015/16 at the latest? And boy, there's so much new stuff...
Firstly, the quality and functionality of themes seems much higher? Maybe that's just because I'm older now, but there are just so many original and innovative themes and pages that, like, are so interactive?? And such a broad variety as well!!!
Adding on to that: Javascript is sort of forbidden?? The work-around is pretty fast and easy (just ask support for permission basically), but still, that sucks lol.
Then there's the whole "you can have an account but no actual blog"-thing?? Idk if I really like that. A lot of people seem to use the site like that, so it's apparently at least somewhat popular. But as a Tumblr-conservative (as in conservative about Tumblr, not a conservative on Tumblr) I must say that having a blog and customizing it was sort of the whole Unique Selling Point of the site, so... interesting choice. (As long as that's still possible I'm still happy either way, I think)
The whole Dashboard experience in general is just so different now. For one, there are ads? I'm not a fan of ads (shocking opinion, I know) and I'm sure had they done it right Tumblr could have become like Ao3 and not even needed them. Still, I don't mind them too much (haha certainly not bc I use adblock :) idk what that is, sounds very morally wrong to me) and I read somewhere that the premium version is only 40€/year, which isn't a lot a lot, but still unfortunate.
I can't even tell which features are new and which aren't most of the time (except for the replying to posts? and THE CHAT?? now that there is one I can't help but wonder why there wasn't one from the start?). I think there's a lot of stuff Tumblr implemented that used to only be possible through xkit before.
Speaking of which: xkit! There's a new version - xkit rewritten - and it's incredible. I didn't even think about re-installing xkit until I stumbled upon a post that mentioned it. Now that I am aware of its existence again, god have I missed it. Being properly on Tumblr without it just isn't the same, man...
Pretty sure the search and follow tags/trending/etcetc stuff is completely revamped as well, but I don't think I used that very often back then anyway. Once I followed a big chunk of blogs I just found new ones through snowballing.
The last thing I can think of that noticably threw me off was the slang? Like wtf is a blorbo? (I actually think I get that one now) What are those other scrinkly, scrumblo, beedy weeby words? Why do I feel several generations older all of a sudden? I can feel the immediate and visceral impulse of disgruntled rejection welling up inside me everytime I see people use any new slang word (or meme, looking at you old scorsese movie that doesn't exist) whose invention I wasn't there for. (please if you've been (back) here for a while, feel free to educate me on the new tumblr etiquette, memes and slang words, I'm curious, I wanna know)
Though that being said, the overall vibes have not changed much. It is still a site that embraces its nerdy lameness and unnecessarily deep deep-dives into ANYTHING. And after the last few months to years of seeing people attacking anyone and anything, and feeling angry/depressed every time I spent some time on my social media site of choice, I think this is a very nice change of pace.
#a bit of a rambly list on my thoughts of the changes on here over the years#god i remember when i first made an account here#my english was terrible#i did not have the first clue on how to change my theme or what that was even called#AND i was a full on larry shipper directioner (my first url was sth along the lines of “larrystylinsonmonstaaa”#i say along the lines...#i think that was it exactly#making myself a tumblr account in 2022 just so i can go on an internet powered nostalgia trip#this time i'm going to fully (and self-aware..ly?) embrace the cringe though#off into the void you go
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i usually keep my freak outs in the tags! rarely do i comment on the post directly in a reblog. i understand both sides though. for me, as a fic writer, i love feedback and reading someone’s thoughts. it doesn’t matter where they’re shared. this is the first time i’m hearing about accounts being blocked for this though. wow :o but valid. freedom to block whoever you want. i’m also not sure why i said reblogs specifically because sometimes i’ll make my own posts and end up talking to myself lol.
also, there’s definitely been a change with reblogging. it’s so evident and sad tbh. i’ve been on tumblr since 2014/15 and started writing fics in late 2016. however, i wrote for two other fandoms before discovering kpop, so i totally saw everything you said about interactions, discourse, huge accounts, relationships between mutuals etc, but in other spaces. it’s also interesting to read what you wrote about people heading to twitter. i’ve see the exact kind of posts you mentioned there, but i didn’t consider they might’ve left tumblr. the shift is also obvious when you see someone in your notifs who doesn’t have any reblogs. do you block those accounts? i never have, and idk if i should.
(that is another can of worms indeed. i used to be active on the shawn mendes side of tumblr (yikes lol🥴) and i remember feeling so intimidated by certain blogs. i feel that way a little bit now, but it’s no comparison to how it used to be)
cheers to all those anons. y’all amused the hell out of me. i still see some with similar energy these days… oh nostalgia
please... don't even get me started on fics... i never posted my fics on tumblr (onyl links to them) but even on Ao3 it's pretty much dead... if i didn't love writing so much I would never waste a second of my life writing with the number of feedback ppl nowadays give to ff authors. which is very little.
yeah... some blogs were really weird about it. believe it or not one time a blog vague posted about me because I had tagged someone under their post (it was fantaken pics) and then they went on and on about how tagging ppl under their post messed with their notes. they were so rude... I ended up blocking them. like nope. i do not want that energy on my dash idc how many followers u have. but yeah personally I don't think that's something anyone really has the right to be mad about. this is a free website and people are free to do whatever they want (so long as it doesn't include any female body parts ofc *clown emoji*) and even if it mildly annoys me I never get that heated up over it and I definitely don't block bc of it slflsd
yeah I remember how intimidating big accounts used to be... and it feels like a lifetime ago when u think about it...
maybe some people just... idk, grew out of the phase? I don't want to believe that ppl who used tumblr for years would move to twitter. it makes no sense. there are definitely people who just found other interests and left and thats normal. what's not normal is those people not being replaced... this stuff usually happens in a cycle. some people leave and some more join but I don't see anyone new around here. seriously, do u know a stan account who is new? literally everyone I know here has been here since I joined this fandom if not earlier.
edit: I forgot to answer to this one!!! abt empty blogs, I don’t usually check the blogs in my notes unless they look really sketcy (/are obv a p08n bot) but ive definitely seen blogs that are completely empty and even have the default icon and stuff. i usually leave them along and give them the benefit of the doubt. maybe they’re fans who don’t want to be active and post stuff and just want to consume and keep up with their faves.
#there's no way to know how many of ur followers are still active sadly#but i can confidently tell u that I got at least twice as much interaction last year when i had about half the amount of followers as now#if u go to my archive last year and filter 'ask' tag there will be A LOT of asks in each months archive#now? maybe 2-3 a month#and it's not like our ult aren't active#when i was a vixx stan blog vixx were active for about 2-3 months in totall in the 2 years i stanned them#and we still had a TON of interactions with our moots and the big accs#starlights would make content from old videos even when there wasn't any new content and we always had so much to make discourse about#monsta x too has so much content that if they stopped releasing content right now we'd still have years worth of content to talk about#they have SO MANY VARIETIES ITS INSANE#as i mentioned the other day i blame this on streaming culture too#people literally don't know how to have fun#they think everything they do has to in some way benefit the artist and that is so messed up#ask#anon
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Hello friend,
I don't know if you're active anymore, but I recently read your 2016 Liberty's Kids fanfiction on Ao3 on a dare from some friends to read the only non explicit m/m libertys kids fic. While it was begun as a joke, we find ourselves quite invested, and I was wondering if you would consider updating, or at least telling us what was going to happen next. Thank you very much.
A fan.
I gotta admit, I woke up to this and ran through several emotions from confusion that someone was reading that fic, mild terror that someone found my old writing, and joy that someone enjoyed my writing so much. You are right, I'm not super active on tumblr, though it's mostly bc I am...something of a lurker. About everything. The fact that you were able to track me down here I gotta say I'm actually impressed considering my digital footprint is p small and that's mostly accidental. The last time I posted on that AO3 account was I think a few years ago and I'd mostly abandoned it to the fates too, this tumblr just happens to be a attached to my main. Now I've got a whole different AO3 with different fandoms (not even the ones here I primarily write DA, SWTOR and admittedly very gay CON fics...). I still have access to that one bc I refuse to get rid of literally any accounts.
That being said: I cannot explain how much I absolutely giggled at the fact that in being dared to read the only non-explicit m/m fic for Liberty's Kids you were forced to read was the one with Extremely Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood and Bodily injury. And, in all honesty, it probably would have gotten explicit at some point, likely not graphically so, since I was writing All In Red and Blue in highschool but depending on when I finished it and where it went. The one thing I actually don't know if I have access to is the google drive with the draft for it or outline. I'm sure you saw in the tags a whole ass OC that was to be a big part of that story who just never shows up bc I'm...terrible at updating and the only person who really wanted updates at the time was my now fiance who we just brainstormed the plot for together and then I never finished it. There's a large part of me that has always wanted to go back and rework that fic and come up with an actual plot for it, but idk if you and your friends would want to wait for me to attempt that lol.
But to truly answer your question, the short answer is: it didn't really have a plan or plot. The long answer is: I intended it to be extremely whumpy, before I knew what whump was. I had a vague outline of where I wanted it to go, with Bryan ending up being unable to return to England, stuck in a war that he can't fight in, and looking for somewhere to make a home. Eventually that was where William would come in (the oc per the tags) and there was going to be plenty of physical and emotional pain and healing including Bryan trying to let go of the events with Tom that he never had any control over or choice in, to be happy. With a large dollop of survivors guilt and finding the balance of grief and letting himself...well live. In all honestly, I'm not sure I could've written it all to be as good as I wanted back then, considering the difficult subject matter, but I wouldn't mind giving it a shot now.
I think, were I to take a stab at it now, I'd probably go with something a little less straight-forwardly hurt/comfort. The same overall aesthetic and ideas would apply, but I would probably change it to have an actual plot after the first chapter and half a second chapter that's sitting in my drafts. The easy answer would be to have him join up with the main cast and carry out the plot of the show, of course, but tbh I'd have to go watch the show again and I'm not super interested in trying to match styles with a children's show to that degree? Although a gritty rewrite of Liberty's Kids would be pretty great... Regardless, I think unlike my original plan, I'd force Bryan to get involved in the conflict again for some extra oomph. I'm not even sure I'd go for a second romance now, although I would make it considerably more slow-burn and chaste than what I was planning like 6 years ago.
I'm sure you weren't expecting such a long response to this question, but no ones asked about that fic in years and your ask gave me a lot of nostalgia and feelings. I would definitely consider reworking it and making an actual plot for it, if ya'll are really that invested. I'm also very curious if you or your friends had any thoughts as to where you wanted it to go, if you'd be willing to tell me lol. Idk, thank you for tracking me down, this was a really nice little smack in the face of nostalgia
#old writing#Im literally so fucking pleased by this ask I cant explain it#like its so funny and heartwarming that you found that fic of all fics and then tracked me down!#my fiance is going to laugh so hard#they helped me write a lot of that fic when I was still a nervous writer#we had Libertys Kids (and other fun americana) watch nights over rabbit#yes rabbit#at that was how we met/started dating bc I was the clueless Canadian and they were an actually knowledgeable about history American#that fic holds a very special place in my heart
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hi lost! i’ve been lurking around here for quite a while now because your blog brings me such a calm when i start feeling confused or angry when it comes to this fandom. things have quieted down now that the anime is on pause again, and i think that a lot of people left after the manga ended. but it’s also sad bc it’s hard to find blogs that are still active. tumblr only recommends me ones that haven’t posted in years so i’m just hanging around the tags, but even they are pretty non-eventful. i only hope the fandom starts buzzing again once the anime continues, but considering how toxic everything became last time scares me. i love your blog because eruri is pretty much the only reason i’ve stuck around for so long but it’s hard to find active blogs that would be like yours :(
Thank you so much Anon ♡ I'm glad you enjoy my blog and that it's a place you can come to chill and relax.
There's no denying that the Eruri fandom here on tumblr is much smaller and less active than it was about 5 years ago. Some fans moved on after chapter 84 when Erwin died, a whole wave of people left the platform after the porn purge, while others hung around until the manga ended and then drifted off or left in frustration. It's always a bit sad when fandoms start to dwindle and people move on, especially if you're still invested. To some extent it's inevitable though, fandoms are always in a state of flux and they all wax and wane over the years.
Having said that, reports of the Eruri fandom's demise are very much premature. Against all the odds the fandom survived the death of Erwin, the tumblr purge, and the end of the manga and it's now more active and creative than I've seen it for years. NSFW Eruri week was huge this year, there’s the Eruri wedding zine in the works and there are new artists and writers appearing out of the woodwork every week. It's just that most of this activity is on twitter rather than tumblr. I know a lot of people dislike twitter as a fandom platform, me included, as it’s a wide open public platform that really lends itself to drama, harassment and dogpiling. I don’t think there’s any doubt that fandom has become more toxic as it has moved out of closed curated communities, such as LJ (though gods know that was no fandom utopia), to open social media platforms, such as twitter, where it's much harder to control who interacts with your content and on what terms. Having said that, there are always ways that you can curate your fandom experience, even on twitter, by liberally blocking and muting accounts and topics that you don't want to engage with, or by locking your own account.
Personally speaking I have a foot in both camps. I hang out on twitter on a daily basis, but I have no plans to leave tumblr any time soon. I've got too much content here to simply abandon it, and I still enjoy answering asks from other fans. If you do want to follow me on twitter, I’m @losteruri over there. And of course I'll always be on AO3 at Anteros / Lostcauses.
I have no doubt that when the final season of the anime airs the whole SnK fandom will explode into life again, and I expect the ending of the anime to be just as divisive as the ending of the manga was, so my advice would be to block out as much of the toxicity as you can and just focus on things you enjoy, like Erwin and Levi and their amazing, inspiring relationship.
Have a good week Anon ♡
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Tagged by @redoaktreehill !
Thanks for the tag, now onto the questions:
How many works do you have on AO3?
Sixty-two!
44 = BNHA
6 = Persona 5
5= Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
2 = Danny Phantom (but one of those is a crossover with Justice League and John Constantine)
2 = Miraculous Ladybug (but one of those is a crossover with Batman)
3 = The Batman, Constantine and Justice League crossovers
1 = Assassination Classroom (a crossover with BNHA)
1 = Sk8 the Infinity
1 = Fire Emblem: Three Houses
What's your total AO3 word count?
876408 words!
What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?
1) The old Bait and Switch (10,019 kudos)
2) #NewestWayne is trending folks (5663 kudos)
3) (The original) A fraudulent claim to immortality (4442 kudos)
4) Rooks and Bishops don't get to choose their moves (3941 kudos)
5) Blood Stains The Skin Red (3620 kudos)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I respond to most comments! Though most of the ones I reply to are ones where I can actively engage with the commentary, like if someone asks a question or suggests something I could edit.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
Uh... give me like half an hour to scour for fics that AREN'T pure angst....
Okay so it's either 'Care to be my Ganimard?' Or 'Rival Soup' which are both crack slightly shippy Persona 5 fics about Akeshu's dynamic! Could also be 'You're telling Me A Shrimp Fried This Rice!?' Or 'Iida isn't the boss of you' which are my only crack BNHA fics but Fried Rice is a more happy emotions after sadness kind of ending rather than like fully happy and Iida isn't the boss is incomplete so-
Pretty much everything else is either currently unfinished, abandoned, being rewritten or you know... without what you would typically call a happy ending so these two are really my only options, you wouldn't think I don't like reading angst.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Now that's a loaded question.
We've got Izuku dies in this one where it does what it says on the tin which was a sleep deprived 'ha but what if' rewrite of Kamino fic, Nomu 2.0 which (as described by a commentor) has Of Mice and Men vibes. Disrupted Celebrations is another contender because Izuku goes through every stage of grief and then gets to go through survivors guilt AND imposter syndrome before ultimately not having a good time!
For P5 it's probably Where Justice Goes To Die which is a 2/2 fic with a twist and any 2/2 fic HAS to be angsty and bittersweet or it's just not a 2/2 fic you know?
It's hard though because a lot of what I write is angst...
Do you write crossovers?
Yep! All the time, some of my favourite fics I've written are crossovers but that's mainly bc they're my little passion projects? Like I write most of my fics bc my brain refuses to shut up but my crossover fics always end up with like 40 page gdocs before they're even written because they're my babies.
Also when I still wrote on wattpad my first like major serious fic was an OHSHC/AssClass fic so it's in my writing blood you know?
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
A couple of times
I don't tend to write ships as a main focus but my only ship fic has gotten a bit of hate, mainly by one commentor who didn't like the ship or the characterisation (even though I used both a Character X salt tag and claimed it would be slightly OCC-ish to start with) and who didn't seem to like reading tags properly. I couldn't actually write for that fic for a while because everytime I clicked on it to update I just... kept looking at those comments and feeling like rubbish but then some random reader just started arguing back for me and I kind of realised that people will always dislike things but you're writing for yourself and the added ppl who will read your work despite its flaws because they've also exhausted every other fic under the pairing tag!
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
I'd like to be able to write smut, if only so that I could convince myself I'm not practically victorian in my inability to not be instantly red in the face with the concept of smut. However since its a running joke between myself and my friends that every fic I write is already smut I'd never live it down if I actually wrote any.
There was a brief escapade though into the world of writing smut, but I doubt anyone that follows me on tumblr ever actually read my stuff on A03 at the time the fic in question actually existed, and if you know which deleted fic I'm talking about no you don't.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Like 5 times on Wattpad? Can't remember which ones since I've blocked out most of my Wattpad content but I remember being really upset about it.
And an entire first chapter from my only ship fic on AO3! The account got reported pretty quickly since there's a limited number of fics for the ship so you can notice pretty quick if somethings a repost.
And tagging....
@adorable-deku & @aobawilliams !
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true colors
@renegadesnet event 10: pride
↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]
Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.
Simon wanted a bigger flag.
No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.
AO3
Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.)
Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3
Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨
I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol
With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.
But I see your true colors shining through.
I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.
So don't be afraid to let them show.
Your true colors,
true colors are beautiful like a rainbow
Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.
There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.
That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.
But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.
Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.
That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.
Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.
That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.
When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.
“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”
“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.
Hugh was already awake too. “What?”
“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”
Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...
And, yes, the flag was completely gone.
But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.
“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.
Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.
“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”
Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.
They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.
While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:
“I lied.”
Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”
“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.
“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”
Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”
Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.
“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”
“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”
But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.
Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.
On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.
“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.
It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.
During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had asked him if he could bring him water.
Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.
“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.
And something hurt.
Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.
And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.
But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.
He just said: “No.”
And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”
He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.
Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.
The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander the situation.
He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.
In fact, he said something… helpful, even.
“What about a flag made of light?”
Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.
Because he said that phrase constantly.
“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”
But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”
And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.
So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.
Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.
They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.
Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.
(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)
Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.
Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.
Simon wanted a bigger flag.
No. He wanted two.
The biggest pride flags he could find.
***
That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.
“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”
Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.
But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)
“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”
“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.
“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.
“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.
“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.
Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).
After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.
But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.
After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.
Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.
Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.
The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.
“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”
Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.
He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.
“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”
Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.
Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.
“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”
“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.
Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”
Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.
“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”
Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”
“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”
“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”
Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”
“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”
“Huh.”
Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.
So he decided to believe him.
“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”
Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.
Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.
“Oh, sh—”
“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”
“Matching flags, very romantic.”
Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”
Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.
“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”
He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)
(Because… it was a phase, right?)
Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”
“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”
Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”
They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.
He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.
***
The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.
Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.
He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.
And far away.
Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:
“Get in here, kid.”
And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.
It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.
At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.
“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.
“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.
“The turkey,” Simon added.
Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”
Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”
“The ham.”
“The—”
“Dad. Move.”
Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.
When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.
Simon joined too. Just because.
And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.
With the A/C on, of course.
He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.
Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).
When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.
“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”
Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”
“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”
“Definitely.”
He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.
(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)
“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.
Max looked at him, confused. “What?”
“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”
Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.
Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.
He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”
“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.
“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”
“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”
“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.
Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.
“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.
He closed his eyes and nodded.
After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”
“The butterfly hair clips trend?”
“The pin thing.”
“What about it?”
Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.
Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”
He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”
He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.
It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”
“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”
Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”
Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”
“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”
They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.
“I feel bad.”
“Why?”
His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”
“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”
“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”
“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.
But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”
Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.
“What's wrong?” he asked.
“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned
Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.
He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”
As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.
And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…
He smiled.
And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.
Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing. I think I'm just… happy.”
“Well, I’m not.”
Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”
Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.
“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.
The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.
And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.
Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.
And all he wanted to do was to exist.
When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.
That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.
Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.
Love wasn’t temporary.
And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.
Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.
Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.
Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.
Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”
He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.
“Together.”
And Simon agreed. “Together.”
***
“He’s going to fall.”
Simon rolled his eyes.
“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”
“But what if—”
“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”
Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”
Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”
Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.
Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.
When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.
Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.
But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.
Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.
Simon felt proud of what they were.
He was really proud.
And he hoped they were proud too.
#renegades#archenemies#supernova#renegades trilogy#hugh everhart#simon westwood#adrian everhart#max everhart#everhart-westwood family#the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree#obsi's writs#i should get an oscar for the homophobic storm joke
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End of the Year Review!
I was tagged by @maelerie a little while ago and finally sat down and Wrote It...
1. What fandoms did you create for?
Still stuck in helltalia but I’ve been regaining a bit of enthusiasm I though I’d lost thanks to find some wonderful people to talk with!!
2. How many works did you make this year? Fics (posted on ao3 or tumblr or wherever), edits, gifsets, moodboards, playlists, fanart, vids, meta?
Technically I’ve published 7 fics which sounds like a huge downgrade from 2020’s 16, but to be fair, one of those 7 fics is a hefty multichapter, so if I cheat and say each chapter counts separately, then we’re right there at 15 xD
Also the reason I say published is bc I’ve got an uncountable amount of unfinished drafts, random drabbles, random bits of whatever, so counting how many works I made this year is…. Nope, not happening
3. What are you most proud of?
Uhhh I guess I’m most proud of Only a Month or So as it is my long-awaited return to writing a multichapter fanfic as I go (and not posting it after I’ve finished it first). I really love what it’s got going for it and is really this excuse to have a silly distraction from the hell that was this year!! It’s very self-indulgent, but honestly so is all my content, but I’m glad that people have been enjoying it with me!!
Two other fics I really loved to write this year Quite Foolish and First Time. They were my indulgences into nationverse and ended up being very exploratory on the way I portray Romano in that setting with lots of headcanons squeezed in. I’m also really proud of both’s writing style since I do feel like I’ve emulated a nice middle ground between a more modern style and a Victorianesque style. I think they’re some of my best writing work up to date
4. Any stats you wanna tell us about?
Well I suppose I published a little over 80k in words this year which is pretty neat I think, especially bc I felt insanely unproductive and bleh, but I’m still hanging in there!
5. What inspired you this year? Any specific works or creators?
UH tbh I was extremely uninspired this year like the pandemic has been terrible to my mental health, motivation and inspiration and I’m honestly happy to have been able to create things at all
However, there have been some wonderfully kind and amazing people I’ve gotten to know a lot better over the year (or grew closer to very recently) who have been so supportive and encouraging that I probably wouldn’t have posted half the things I did without them, so thank you for being so very lovely. Most of them aren’t even on Tumblr (heck I’m barely on Tumblr) but a special shout out to @maelarie for indulging me in my rambles and being overall just a sweet and fun person!!
6. What’s a piece you didn’t expect to make? Why?
PFFFF I suppose Rainy Day was the biggest surprise to me?? Cause I haven’t touched usu/k in years, but I’ve always enjoyed the pairing in a cardverse setting so to finally write smth for that was fun
But to be fair most of my fics are surprises to me, though prumano might be a constant, the setting/plot always changes
7. What are you excited to work on next year?
I honestly have no clue xD I mean I have OaMoS to continue and then everything else is as unknown to me as it is to you. I do have one fic waiting for Pru’s birthday on the 18th which is about him and my Brandenburg OC (official debut, finally) and Pru’s elevation to a kingdom. I might also finally finish the sequel to Distraction and go through my older notebooks to find some more started but never finished fics I still enjoy and would like to finish
Tag some people!!
honestly.. none of my regular mutuals on here seem to be at all active anymore so like if you see this and you want to ramble, just say I tagged you like go wild fellas <3
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AO3 Tag Game
Tagged by @anchoviesinthenightsky
wh- who me?
Ty for the opportunity to not shut my mouth ahhah
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 6
2. What is your total AO3 word count? 57,343 wtf
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? well I did write two oneshot Zelda fics at 13 and one oneshot Harry Potter fic at 15 but we don't think about those. (and i just remembered I have a trashed Ace Attorney wip buried deep in my drive somewhere) So I honestly consider Luca the only I've written for for real.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
actually it's the same order for hits/bookmarks/comments except one of them
Cliff's Edge (450 (you nasty people <3))
make me crescendo (176)
you've been hiding all your life (139)
sickeningly sweet like honey (108)
always be this close (82)
5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yeah I try to reply to all. I think there's like two with just an emoji I haven't replied to. But it usually takes me a little time, esp right after publishing something, to reply, I save them up a little. But like now, when it's been a while since publishing and I think a week or more since a new comment, I get excited and rush over immediately haha.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? well all that are ended have happy endings. The angstiest rn is probably the Alberto angst one, hold my breath for me, but if it actually goes somewhere story-wise and not just short standalone chapters, I'm hoping to veer it somewhere happy. Boy deserves to heal. I kind of doubt I'd ever write something w an angsty ending. For me what's the point of escapism if it's not happy and carefree (I say, following Eli's planned tragedy with hawk eyes HAHA). I'll get out more angst when I finish the untitled Big Sad Gay Fic but that'll have a happy ending too.
7. Do you write crossovers? Never tried or considered.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? No
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Well. You already know. I write anything I want to, tbh. I think my "genre" is "spicy vanilly" like I'll add elements of kink but keep it pretty soft and gentle still. Sorry to go on a tangent here but truly believe that's to do w my identity being somewhere on the ace spectrum, if kink goes too far I just don't understand it. I feel like I write all my pwps from a very emotional perspective rather than a physical perspective, and for me it's hard to grasp kinks where I don't understand the emotions of it. I guess! I do enjoy occasionally reading stuff that's kinkier and more physical, just yeah. I don't understand it enough to write it.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't know! Probably not?
11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, though I'm working on some stuff with @albertolovesluca! not co-authoring but we're bouncing ideas for each others' fics and it's lovely and he's helped me a LOT! I've not really interacted enough w people before to have anyone to talk ideas with so it's been a very fun and rewarding experience<3
12. What’s your all time favorite ship? Well I'm a hyperfixator at heart so that changes whenever I change fandoms but the actual OTP that remains after years are probably Klavier/Apollo from Ace Attorney, I periodically fall back into them even now, something like 12 years (fuck! I feel old) after getting into them. All the rest have mostly faded away, though the biggest ones have been Davekat (Homestuck) and Wolfstar (Harry Potter) but I feel like nothing can compare to Luberto since I haven't actively participated in fandom or writing before them.
13. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Zelda
14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Hmm I think my favorite published one is you've been hiding all your life bc that one's so intensely personal to me. Like reading it back I'm a little more "eh, it's alright I guess", but it was such a profound and transformative experience to write. I feel like it untangled some knots inside me. As a whole I think make me crescendo is my best pwp at least. I think it's hard to compare the pwps with always be this close but that one was really, REALLY fun to write. 3
Though I feel pretty certain the Big Sad Gay Fic will be my fav when it's done, simply bc I have never done anything properly multichapter, it's very personal to me, and I believe in its concepts and am in love with some of the more pivotal scenes I've written... I think! We actually made some progress on completely rearranging a lot last weekend but aren't done so it's all a little up in the air rn!
Ok I'll tag everyone I can remember are authors, but really anyone who wants to, grab it! Have fun!
@morganskii @love-your-enthusiasm @imbeccablee @sgtalligator (yours is on Wattpad but I suppose the questions will work either way!) @albertolovesluca @someonehidethetequila @big-meows @beartofry @themeganator5000 @annie-mantic @jofngve @curioserprime
I'm not sure how many of the tags work, think I exceeded max tagged but hope you get the memo! but no pressure ofc! (aka most of the people on my to-read-list but I haven't gotten around to... sorry! 😬❤️ I hope to get a little more energy and time when my cold finally fucks off!)
#skypieposts#not to toot my own horn even more but i'm literally at 999 kudos total and i've been hopefully refreshing my stats all day#skypiechats
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Is it bad that I really enjoyed reading the kinda fandom history/fanw*nk history posts abt j*nsa? XD Tbf I'm also a bit addicted to fanlore articles. XD Anyway I think in the tags of one post you mentioned j*imexs*nsa starting as an antijb thing? Would you mind elaborating on that? Sounds like an interesting, albeit bonkers, story, too.
dw I don't think it's bad I mean... we all enjoy catching up on wank we weren't part of (and my friends the things I could tell you abt spn fandom or when I was around at the sidelines for the worst rpf fic ever..) but anyway *deep breath* SURE THING LET'S SAY IT I mean....... it's not like it hasn't been years and I can talk abt it so whatevs, under the cut because reasons, also I'm saying now that a lot of this was what I deduced from circumstances and you've got to take my word for it unless someone who was around then remembers it and can confirm my impressions bc it was a lot less obvious than the j*nsa stuff
but going from the premises again:
I got a tumblr in like may 2011, read asoiaf june-july of that year, started being active on the tags around august-september 2011 so it was before S2 aired and 95% of the people that were bnfs/around then aren't on tumblr anymore/are here rarely these days so you've gotta take me at face value
in the main asoiaf bnf group there was this one jc shipper who like... I mean she's still active on twt and blocks everyone shipping jb on sight but good bc let's just say she's a piece of work not to mention that she spent months/years writing meta abt how jb was like fanfic stuff and had no book basis and how if you liked j but not c you were a misogynists which was wildly popular
I would like to add that person is basically... let's say everyone in jb fandom who ever got harassed knows exactly who I'm talking about and I'll leave it at that and was not for ship and let ship let's put it like that
so basically this person was on my dash bc I followed ppl who followed her and I saw a lot of jaimes*nsa stuff from her
in the sense that like... she was doing with it what I did with jonc/brynden back in the day when I was wanting to convince the world they were the crackship that was promised as in posting abt it/spamming it/discussing how it made canon sense/more canon sense than jb anyway and the likes, and like there was a fairly numerous amount of stuff for that ship back in the day - like before S2-3 aired jaimes*nsa had pretty high fic numbers/fanwork numbers considering that in canon they haven't interacted once
and that went hand in hand with keeping on trying to burn ground around jb before S2 aired/before they met in canon with that meta
and like... it's not like it started as an antijb thing in itself bc I'm sure that there must have been someone into it before the show aired same as there were ppl who as I was reminded lately wrote brienne/loras hatesex and so on, but the explosion which was during S1-3 (then it lost a bit of traction I think mostly bc jb exploded and sansa/tyrion happened on the show and the ppl involved kind of went more on twitter and didn't produce that much content anymore tho it still has numbers™) was also continuously fanned by person above + her followers who most likely were like... genuinely into it but again the antijb meta was around quite enough at the same time, so
also like... let's just say that back in the day I was the main t*robb ship contributor and I also wrote jb though less but jb was smaller as a fandom so I did post when the ao3 tag was at like... 30 fics or smth so I separately had my foot in both ponds and like until S3-S4 any t*robb fic where jb was the sideship would get tangentially less views/reviews than ones where they were not which in itself wouldn't be a problem bc obviously maybe ppl wouldn't ship one of them, but then there was this uuuh specific case
where someone who followed me for the t*robb who also followed her at some point asked me in private if a 22k t*robb fic that was the sequel to... my most famous/popular jb one let's put like that had a lot of jb in it because they were die hard jc people and it was triggering to them (which... I mean fair enough but in retrospective using that term instead of 'you know I really don't vibe with jb and I'd rather not read it' felt a bit like they were trying to guilt trip me ngl), I said that they showed up together in two scenes and were in the background and at most it was 1k worth of fic and the answer was that it was way too much so they were going to have to skip and like again their prerogative but idk that conversation kind of left me like is this some kind of roundabout way to say that it'd be better if I didn't sideship them? idk but until S3-4 I had the distinct feeling that at least for my own stuff having both ships together meant less readers and ngl I didn't update the infamous t*robb wip fic for a year because I was planning to make jb fairly prominent as a sideship there and I was there like 'oh god what if I get wank over it' and I didn't but again I would like to state it wasn't just because of one person, it was... the general atmosphere that seemed unfriendly unless you stayed on the jb tag/kept both separate
and I would like to add that the moment S3 happened and it sailed anyway bc it was going to was when the targeted harassing of anyone who was active on the tag started ssssso :|
basically like... I have a lot less evidence to go on re ^^^^ than the j*nsa stuff because that is well-documented the rest is my very humble opinion about the background of when j*aimesansa started getting popular but like it also was v. prominent in between jc people (same with the jcsansa threesomes) who were also following that person - I would like to also add that a bunch of ppl who shipped both were absolutely lovely and nice to interact with in other situations and not harassing anyone about it and again nothing against ppl into it as a thing but the moment of its peak was in conjuncture to the burning ground around jb moment driven by that specific person so *shrug*
#1#2#4#5#3#anonymous#ask post#anti-jaime x sansa#anti jaime x sansa#anti jaime x cersei#anti-jaime x cersei#anti-cersei lannister#anti cersei lannister#again it's me going with what i recall but i'm p. sure some ppl who were around then can corroborate#*in jb fandom i mean
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weekly (monthly?) media roundup
ok so I do want to actually do these on some sort of schedule but unfortunately, as you already know, brains,
listening: Malice in Wonderland by Fangbanger, which I found from a tumblr post that described them as band for “if you have a complicated relationship with gender, had a falling out with god, hate the government, or just think that vampires are neat" and y’know? yeah. my notes on this song from several weeks ago are that I might not know any of these people’s genders but I do know they’ve listened to MCR
youtube
reading: the new Cassandra Clare book, Chain of Iron. it’s boring and homophobic. in the first book of this series, we find out that the heroine’s brother is gay and in a relationship with a man who has no intention of ever coming out publicly because 1) the book is set in 1903 in England, it was literally illegal and 2) he’s trying to have a career in politics. the heroine decides that this means he’s ashamed of her brother and doesn’t deserve him, and she is present and active in their breakup conversation.
above is the relationship chart I made from the first book, it really hasn’t changed much except now the main guy and the main girl are married, the lesbians got back together and then broke up again, the main girl’s gay brother hooked up with one of her husband’s friend, who’s a Good Gay and therefore worthy of love unlike the Bad Gay ex who is constantly mocked by just about every character for. checks notes. caring about appearances and manners given that his life and career are based on those things. the brother and his new love interest break up because the brother still thinks he’s a bad person for ever having dated his ex. also the main girl has now platonically run off to Paris with her husband’s platonic soulmate who is allegedly in love with her but it’s really unconvincing that he’s not actually in love with her husband (he’s not for very stupid lore reasons, the whole ‘parabatai are magically prevented from being romantically in love, except for these two straight people, when historically parabatai pairs were two men’ makes my fucking blood boil)
you might ask why I still read these books even though they make me angry and the answer is the 1) the aesthetic slaps 2) some of the characters are fun 3) the premise has enough potential that it could be good if it was good 4) sometimes I need to get cathartically angry abt bad fiction bc it just. does not matter
watching: so many things that I’m gonna just. run through them real quick
Word of Honor: gestures vaguely at how it’s slowly taking over my blog
Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty: love a found family, eh about the politics, can’t believe I predictably got a new fave character within the last two episodes of the show because one of the main characters is betrayed by his second-in-command and I think treason is the sexiest part of a relationship
SamBucky show: in the original draft of this post I said that it was so boring that week (episode 3) that I completely forgot about it until I saw the draft below this one talking about how bad and boring it is. at least more happened in later episodes and they’re finally giving me some tasty queerbaiting but the premise and the politics are. wow. it sure is military propaganda
My Hero Academia: new season is fun, love a tournament arc. don’t love that they tell us right away that the double agent character is a double agent, it was more fun in the manga when you’re not sure if he’s a traitor or not for a pretty long time
Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun: new season is cute, there sure is some gender happening. there’s a tsundere bisexual catgirl
Backflip!!: I usually avoid high school sports anime for backstory reasons but my roommate wanted to watch it with me and oh boy these gymnasts sure are gay for each other huh
Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood: my roommate pitched this to me as ‘cyberpunk but in the 1930s’ and there sure is dark lighting, lots of glowy neon stuff, and government oppression, which are the most important elements of cyberpunk apparently. not sure how I feel about it yet, because there’s a cool shapeshifting lady assassin with a revenge quest but there’s also a trans character who was revealed to be trans in a way that I personally did not enjoy. yes you can have transphobic villains but like. hmm. maybe the audience shouldn’t find out that someone is trans because the villain cuts his shirt away specifically to ~put him in his place. or maybe I personally am just sensitive to that but either way no thank you
on the other hand, the main character is sick as shit
The World Ends with You: god I love an anime about the power of friendship. I’ve only had these kids for two episodes and I would lay down my life for them
Nirvana in Fire: we’re only three episodes in and I did spend the first half of the first ep being like. oh god which of these people are actually important who am I supposed to care about here. and then by the end of the first ep I knew which ones I cared about and am now very afraid for their safety. do love the political intrigue though
playing: got through the first mission of Brigmore Witches. I love a good undercover mission, I wish I hadn’t been too afraid of like. alarms going off if I freed the other prisoners because I think Comrade Daud should do a jailbreak, and Lizzy Stride can call me anytime
also recently have played various ttrpgs including Firebrands, more Things, Eldritch and Terrifying, Link, and of course more Beam Saber (oh shit I meant to do my recap post for last session OOPS)
making: Zan and I made some real good chicken parm the other night, vaguely based on this recipe. by which I mean, we looked at the recipe to see how many eggs to use and how long to cook it and pretty much nothing else. the egg marinade step seemed unnecessary and I made the sauce the way I always make tomato sauce, which some day I should write down because it does in fact fuck. the secret is a shit-ton of oregano and basil and no chunks of tomato because fuck that. bad texture
Zan made the zucchini which also slapped, using some of the leftover bread crumbs
writing: I’ve posted a couple of things but most recently I wrote some rarepair femslash. this is the first fic for this ship on ao3 and the second ship in the f/f tag for this fandom that’s actually about the women in the show (as opposed to showing up in the f/f tag because it’s marked as “multi” or like. genderbent versions of the main m/m ship) but like. look at them. they’re terrible evil assassin women and they’re in love. anyway I’ve gotten over being embarrassed about having written a sex scene and moved on to wanting people to read my fic. there’s sparring as foreplay it’s a good time
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