I'm so sorry I'm even slower then usual answering asks these days, I've got some health issues that are really slowing me up. I promise I read and appreciate every single ask, and I'll do my best to answer as many as possible when I can. Thank you for your patience ♡

"Go on. Take your anger out on me if you want..."

Good morning~

Eruri stuff for my patreon 🙈

I don’t think we talk enough about how in chapter 80 of the manga, there’s a scene with Levi literally looking back at the squad as they run into the cross of fire with Erwin. It’s almost as if he hopes that he’s fast enough to reach the beast titan before he massacres everyone. It’s small, but I think that Isayama included a panel just to show the concern and fear in Levi’s face while he looks back for his commander. I think it’s such an overlooked scene because it shows Levi’s hesitation about going with the plan. How, in terms of emotion, he is struggling but he wants to do right by what Erwin needed. Thoughts? <3 I love your perspectives.

This moment also does not happen in the anime so that's interesting!

Sorry everyone in my inbox I'm skipping to the top of the queue for this one because this is indeed one of my special interest subject topics :D, things that have a Linguistic Significance that your observation itself points out, but the thing that Levi says is indeed slightly lost in translation because it is a little bit of a japanese 202 and I don't see anyone talk about it ever because frankly it's above a lot of people's pay grade (frankly so much of the linguistics is above the pay grade of the people taking part and arguing over it smh) and they don't know/realise/have never learnt this.

But すまない sumanai or the more recognisable sumimasen has a more complex meaning than just "I'm sorry", an apology for doing/having done something wrong. In fact, gomennasai would be a better capture of this meaning.

It is a thing that you say to apologise for causing trouble or inconvenience to the other party.

Hence its use as "excuse me" in the appropriate situations like bumping into people or calling for someone's attention, and it can even be used to mean "thank you", like for example when someone has gotten a gift or gone out of their way to do something for you.

Or asking someone to do something for you.

So yes, in some way as well there is a sense of it conveyed just by the word itself in the anime to japanese speakers (well, people fluent enough in japanese culturally as well), but this is also what brings to the forefront more the two-way nature of the promise or order that Levi gives to Erwin: Erwin will lead the new recruits to their deaths so that Levi can kill the Beast Titan, and you can see as well why Levi has such a hangup over not completing his end of what is effectively a pact. It's also where the "disappointed in Erwin to have to push him in the right direction" ideas don't make sense.

So Levi is not apologising for his failure or for causing their deaths or whatever, he is apologising for asking this of them. For him. So more than just a promise to do something coming from him, it is a two-way bargain that extracted something in return. Levi was very much saying "Lead the troops and create the cover for me so that I can kill the Beast Titan", and the sumanai expresses both his apology and I suppose it's possible to say his gratitude to them for that.

I believe this is one of the scenes tiresomely used to argue how Levi cares about All of the Soldiers because of how he's looking on all of them, but also, I think you can see the interconnection of his promise and why he says that in killing Zeke/fulfilling the promise he can prove that their deaths had meaning. Which is why taking this promise and extending it out to mean every soldier ever just doesn't make sense. Or that it is some kind of generic promise that proves that he cares about all of humanity. It is a promise made to Erwin for him to lead the soldiers to hell, and in return he would kill the Beast Titan.

For funsies, Eren says ごめん(なさい) gomen(nasai) here:

[chapter 131]

So yes, I do agree with your observation and how it really shows up how he really feels the whole weight of the plan. And if I could complain again, stoic Levi where? XDD

And to end, the requisite proof language resource here:

Thank you for your ask! :)

(Usual disclaimers apply :)

hiii!! i just wanted to ask if you have any eruri fic recs where they raise children 🫶🫶

Hi Anon, I have to confess that, with one or two notable exceptions, I'm not a huge fan of fics where Erwin and Levi raise children. I did put together a rec list a while back though with suggestions from fans: Parent Eruris. It's not very up to date I'm afraid, but hopefully you'll find a few fics here to enjoy.

Are there any specific scenes from any aot content that influenced your love for Erurimike? I feel like Mike did not get the attention he deserved in aot and so I was curious :)

Absolutely agree that Mike deserved better, he was Humanity's second strongest and a complete bad ass after all. I really wish we'd got to see more of him interacting with Erwin and Levi in the manga and the anime. Of course the most iconic Erurimike scene appears in ACWNR when Mike and Erwin corner and capture Levi. We may not have much canon Erurimike content but god damn that one scene is enough to inspire endless headcanons.

I also absolutely adore this official art of the Veterans. I have so many feelings about this that I can hardly even begin to put them into words.

I also thought it was really touching in chapter 112 when Levi recalled his fallen comrades and Mike was standing there right alongside Erwin 😭 It all goes to show that even if Levi and Mike got off to a rocky start they grew to respect each other and I like to believe they became friends.

Other than that, my love for Erurimike and the fics that I wrote are primarily a product of my own sordid imagination 🤭

Thanks for your ask Anon, it's way to long since I've had an ask about the big guy.

Do you think Erwin is an introvert? If so, why?

Hmmm…I don’t think so?  The Wikipedia definition of Introversion is: 

Introversion is the state of primarily obtaining gratification from one's own mental life. Introverts are typically perceived as more reserved or reflective. Some popular psychologists have characterized introverts as people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction. Introverts often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, or meditating. An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people. Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement, introversion having even been defined by some in terms of a preference for a quiet, more minimally stimulating external environment. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate, especially observed in developing children and adolescents. They are more analytical before speaking.

Erwin definitely has some of these characteristics, he is certainly reflective and analytical, but I wouldn’t say he prefers to concentrate on a single activity at a time. One of Erwin’s defining characteristics is that he’s thinking in multiple directions, ten steps ahead of everyone else. It would be easy to argue that as a military commander, Erwin can’t possibly avoid spending time with large groups of people, however the role of the commander is by necessity somewhat solitary.  There is some evidence from both the manga and the supplementary content that Erwin did socialise with his peers and subordinates. He seems to have been quite gregarious as a cadet for example, and we know he attended social gatherings with his soldiers, including the night before Shiganshina, and the welcome party for the 104th. Of course we can’t say definitively whether he enjoyed these events, but did make the effort to put in an appearance.

Having said that, we also know that Erwin avoided company after expeditions and preferred to dine alone in his office with Levi, although that is perhaps a natural reaction to the trauma of leading men to their death, and less evidence of introversion

I also had a look at the definition of extroversion, and I might be inclined to argue that Erwin fits more of these characteristics

Extraversion is the state of primarily obtaining gratification from outside oneself. Extraverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. Extraverts are energized and thrive off being around other people. They take pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings, such as parties, community activities, public demonstrations, and business or political groups. They also tend to work well in groups. An extraverted person is likely to enjoy time spent with people and find less reward in time spent alone. They tend to be energized when around other people, and they are more prone to boredom when they are by themselves.

Erwin certainly works well in groups, though he doesn’t play by the book and has a tendency to play his cards very close to his chest, revealing the full extent of his plans only to those he trusts. I think on balance Erwin is an ambivert, he demonstrates both introverted and extroverted character traits, and falls somewhere between the two.

Hi lost! I'm sure your inbox is overflowing so I'm sorry for adding to the pile! I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate how much help you give to the aot/eruri community and that you're such a bright spot in my experiences on here! This fandom is one of my favs I've ever been in and you're a huge part of that! Thank you for all you do! 🫶💝

Awww thank you so much ❤️ It's honestly a pleasure to have been part of this amazing fandom for so long. The generosity and creativity of the Eruri fandom never ceases to amaze me and I've met so many good friends over the years. It's lovely to know you're enjoying the fandom so much too 🥰

hiii! I will start saying I love your fics very much and they help me a lot when I'm writing my own with all the English and grammar rules

my question is how can I find beta readers for eruri fics, because I feel more comfortable showing to people who like the shipp and if is there any place I could talk to them or it's just moots you find thought the internet 😭😭

Thank you so much! I'm glad you've found my fics useful :)

In terms of finding a beta, you could just try asking around the fandom. There's a very active Eruri writing community on twitter and I have seen people asking for betas there and getting lots of replies. Some of the folk there also run an Eruri writing discord called Devoted Hearts and writing event, EruriWriMo, which is a great way to meet other writiers. You can find out more about Devoted Hearts and EruriWriMo here: @EruriWriMo. I know there's an active Eruri fandom on TikTok too but I don't go there so I'm not sure if many writers hang out there. Don't be afraid to ask around, it's a very friendly fandom. Good luck!

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD!❣️ Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people you adore! Absolutely no pressure but. It's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out <3

How do you think Levi is doing post war regarding grief? I've seen a lot of people say he's happy and theiving, living his best life in peace and that it fits his character because he always moves on and fights and he wouldn't cry for decades or something lol. I just saw a lot of people completely dismiss the idea of him not being "happy" and having trouble adjusting to his new life without fighting and actually having time to grieve for the first time in his life, which i find questionable since he IS the most emotional character and always cared about remembering his friends, especially Erwin. I feel like grieve is portrayed pretty one dimensional though, like it doesn't have to look like just one way (like it can look like mikasa but it can also look like Levi who is still actively trying to help people) but i also think that grieve is a big part of Levi's character and we should talk about it! I'd be interested on your take about this though :)

Oh man I have a lot of thoughts about this.  I totally agree with everything you've said, however I can also understand people's reticence to dwell on grief, it's a difficult and overwhelming emotion. I know there are a lot of fans who want to believe that postwar Levi was able to live his best life, unencumbered by grief, and enjoying his freedom with Gabi and Falco.  And I also know that there are some fans who are really offended by the idea that Levi would spend the rest of his life grieving, never moving on from those he lost during the war. Certainly living a hollow, grief stricken life is a terrifying prospect, however grief isn’t that simple.  One of the best explanations of grief I’ve come across said that when you lose someone you love, you don’t just forget them, or replace them, time can never heal that wound or fill that void. However with time and patience your life can grow around that absence and expand to encompass new people, new love, new experiences.  The absence is always there, it becomes part of you, and your life continues to grow around it. I think Mikasa is actually a good example of that.  It’s clear that she continued to love Eren for the rest of her life, but that didn’t stop her from loving other people and going on to raise a family.  I don’t think she ever “moved on” from Eren, no one could ever replace him,  but I do think she was still able to find love in the world.  The Ackermans were fierce and constant in their love and their loyalty; both Mikasa and Kenny remembered their liege, their chosen person, to the end of their days, and I see no reason for Levi to be any different.  I believe Erwin’s absence would have left an indelible mark on Levi, and I don’t think anyone could ever replace him, however I also believe that Levi was able to forge a new found family with Gabi, Falco and Onyankopon and I hope he was able to end his days peacefully. 

If you're interested, I've written several fics about Levi's life after the war that explore his grief for Erwin and his fallen comrades, and his new life with Gabi and Falco.

The Permanence of the Young Men

A Good Man

That And So Much More

おひるね