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#who else is psyched for season 3

the-last-thread-of-my-sanity · 2 months

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I’ve been thinking lately about how much the ‘curse of Ymir’ really does affect the psyche of each of the nine shifters and how it impacts the ending of the story.

Up until the end of Season 3/Chapter 87-88, the reader and the viewer have no idea that the shifters have a limited amount of time to live. They seem to possess this god-like power and they can rejuvenate and survive almost any injury. They seem unstoppable.

This is what motivates Erwin to create a plan to take one of the nine shifter powers with the serum- having another Titan in your arsenal would make a difference in winning the war.

But what the Paradisians don’t know is how holding the power of the Nine just perpetuates a cycle of violence and cruelty. It’s a curse as much as it is a power. No matter how brilliant or grand your scope is for what you can do with this near limitless power, you have to contend with the fact that you will only have thirteen years to do it.

This revelation to me is the what colors the entire last arc of the story leading into and after the time skip.

For Zeke, it amps up the level of desperation he has for accomplishing the euthanization plan- relying on Eren was still a variable that was largely unpredictable, and he trusted him more than he probably would have if he weren’t running out of time.

Going back further in the story, it retroactively explains why Ymir (of the cadet corps) would go back with Reiner and Bertholdt at all- a seemingly nonsensical choice when it seems she has something to live for in her relationship with Krista/Historia. But Ymir knows she has little time left. She has no future. So she chooses to surrender.

For Annie, it shows her desperation to get back to her father, a man who showed her very little affection, and yet if she could just make it back maybe she could live at least a year or two with him and make at least one happy memory with the man who raised her to kill.

Armin, I honestly feel the most for, because what he and everyone else thought of as his salvation, was actually just saddling him with a curse. And heaps of responsibility to try and be grateful for it. He went from a character with a singular and wholesome conviction, to someone wracked with guilt and forced to solve the world’s problems with limited time and resources.

In Reiner’s case, I actually think the fact that he knows he is going to die is the only thing actually keeping him alive in the tail end of the story. He wants so badly to face retribution for his deeds, and he can only find the strength to keep towing the line because he knows his violent demise is guaranteed.

Characters like Pieck and Bertholdt seem to accept their lot in life- but deal with this internally and develop their own sense of morals despite it- albeit in different ways and in Pieck’s case with a shade of pessimism. Falco and Marcel stand out as a characters who see the farce for what it is- but still want to subject themselves to it in order to prevent someone they love from suffering through it in their place.

Eren, though, it’s easy to see how discovering he has already lived more of his life in powerless ignorance than what he has left is what ultimately causes the collapse in his character. Combine that with the way that he sees ‘future memories’ and doesn’t see any future beyond his own, and suddenly you have a naturally impulsive and violent person living in the most fatalistic reality ever. It makes perfect sense that his fall from grace is near immediate and precipitous.

What difference does all that power make if all it means is that you become a tool for destruction with no future? That you will be forced to curse someone else so that this cruel power will continue to exist? That is the true legacy of Ymir and the Eldian Empire- you can have near limitless power, but you will never have true control over your own life.

And it makes for such interesting discussions and questions about power and mortality and agency- and all the seemingly ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways to respond to their dilemma.

Anyway, it is always ‘thinking about the moral quandary of the titan shifters’ hours around here…

#aot meta #character analysis #titan shifter #attack on titan #zeke yeager #bertholdt hoover #annie leonhart #armin arlert #ymir #pieck finger #falco grice #marcel galliard #eren yeager #reiner braun

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wrenwinchester · 4 months

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Reasons Psych and Supernatural should have a crossover:

1. Woody (the coroner from Psych) being Zachariah’s vessel.

2. Shawn and Cas talking about cats, possibly talking to cats/interrogating them

3. There are so many shared actors between Psych and Supernatural (Woody/Zachariah, Lassiter/Cain and many more)

4. Just the fact that there are literally so many “references” to Supernatural in Psych and the fact that Shawn and Gus are essentially a slightly less codependent version of Sam and Dean (anything can be a supernatural reference if you try hard enough.)

5. It would mean Metatron occasionally works part time as a security guard at an old folks home as a guy named Jervis.

6. Shawn and Gus could meet the ghost facers who got lost in their way to LA and ended up in Santa Barbara.

7. It would mean at some point Cain decided to go to the Police academy and join the Santa Barbara police department. (Alternatively one of his descendants looks just like him) (However I’m going with the first option because it definitely explains Lassiter’s fascination with the Civil War.

8. Fake FBI/Fake Psychic hijinks

9. Shawn would be a role model/older brother figure for Dean (he’s two years older than him).

10. Both Shawn and Gus and Sam and Dean get mistaken as a couple occasionally.

11. Shawn likes Bees, Cas likes Bees, and Cain (thereby Lassiter) likes Bees.

12. Shawn and Dean fangirling over cowboys.

13. The dual ADHD hijinks of Dean and Shawn, mixed with Sam and Gus being over their shit.

14. Dean hitting on Juliet only to get shit from Shawn even thought they aren’t dating yet.

15. Juliet flirting back with Dean to mess with Shawn

16. Lassiter recognizing Sam and Dean from the FBI’s most wanted from 2006-2007ish and trying to prove it’s actually them but failing.

17. Shawn Spencer, Psych season 5 episode 2, “nothing shuts my pie hole but pie.” Just another reason Shawn and Dean would be best friends.

18. Shawn and Dean both have an obsession with scooby doo.

Just Please.

P.S. I love the idea of Shawn and Dean being best friends for many reasons, however, Shawn being a passenger Princess, and Dean not allowing anyone else to drive is just too perfect.

P.P.S. Also Woody being Zachariah’s vessel is just hilarious to me.

Edit: added #16+

#dean winchester #supernatural #sam winchester #spn #the winchesters #crossover #psych #shawn spencer #juliet o'hara #carlton lassiter #Cain of Cain and Abel #burton guster #please please please #I need this #Psych meets the ghost facers

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iseathegalaxy · 4 days

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i've processed it. i have thoughts.

discussing the season (especially the finale) yesterday and today, @icantlivewithoutdreaming pointed out the conversation sorrounding the use of a "red herring" throughout s3

red herring [n] something that distracts attention from the real issue — Merriam-Webster Dictionary

i see how some may try to explain what we saw by using this literary device, however, i don't agree. why? let's see.

see loki, for example. all throughout season 1 we're told about the time keepers, how they're the maximum authorities at the TVA, how they were there at the beginning of time and how they'll be there at the end of it, and how they're responsible for the order in the timelines and for keeping the peace, which they do through the agents. now, i want to emphasise the word told because we don't see any of this ourselves, we're just told all of this is true and, just like loki and given none of us know better, we believe it because "why would they lie about this?" this is a red herring, the time keepers are a red herring because they distract us from what is actually true, and it's done in a way that we have no way of knowing if it's all as we're told or not precisely because of that, because we're told, we don't see anything for ourselves so we just have to trust what we're told. we can suspect, of course, but until loki doesn't start poking around and finding things out we're all as much in the dark as him.

now, the bad batch season 3. here we are shown everything, we're not told anything. we see the context for everything the squad goes through, we hear the lines of dialogue directly from who says them, we see all the actions and interactions, as well as the clear allusions to other pieces of media (winter soldier: tech's fall, the reconditioning program, the masked assassins, the fight sequences, the personal stakes when fighting the assassins, etc), we're pretty much presented with everything we need to connect the dots ourselves, as if it was designed for us to do excatly that and draw this very specific conclusion: tech is not dead, he just suffered bucky's same fate, he got winter soldier'ed.

but then what happens? the finale comes out and we're basically told "you see all that which we gave you? all those dots for you to connect? well, psych! it was all a 'distraction', the assassins are no one, you won't even see their faces, if they were literally anyone else it wouldn't fucking matter" and so we're all left like "...what? then... why?" like being smart and analysing the media and it's clues and hints and attempting to unravel that mystery which was clearly given to us only ended up with us being told "you're reading too much into it, it's not that deep, don't be dumb"

that's not a red herring, it honestly just feels like having been gaslit and it sucks.

#im ranting again #but i just cant get over it #i feel gaslit #i wasnt just seeing things #they put things there for us to see only to completely deny them when we saw them #why #tbb #tbb s3 #tbb s3 finale #tbb s3 spoilers #the bad batch #the bad batch s3 #the bad batch s3 finale #the bad batch s3 spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #star wars #the winter soldier #tech

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scarareg · 3 months

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Percy Jackson and The Olympians Season 1 Review (3/3)

Part 1 • Part 2

What I dislike:

Poseidon appearing when Sally called him. Actually, shout out to that scene because it made me realize a different side about the whole "Gods' worlds view" I had not considered before! The main conflict if this series is the demigods being angry at their godly parents for not being present in their lives, but what we do not see is the human parents' POV. The Gods do not respond to them either. For a human maybe the God was the love of their life, but we know for a fact that there are demigods who share same parent and are the same age. That says it all. Gods sees these "epic romances" as another affair more. Maybe they had a good time and they found you incredible, but what to a human was a few months (maybe years,if you are lucky) of magic,for an immortal God that must be like a week or something. Not everyone is a Hyacinthus or Ariadne or Psyche,sadly. So I don't think he will be answering out of nowhere just because

Percy and Annabeth being already teased about "having a crush" on each other. In my opinion,the first book is to develop their friendship, the next books have the job to do the romance. So it feels like too much,too rushed, too soon for me

There is a lack of urgency throughout the show. Partly, it was because all the monsters walk slowly and never attacked or felt threatening at all . Making the trio miss the time limit made it worst, especially because there was not consequences. The war was supposed to have started, but it didn't because it didn't happen in the books either, so all of that was pointless.

I do not love that Percy has a sassy attitude towards Zeus from the beginning. I feel that showing him being nervous while talking with Zeus in Book 1 is a great juxtaposition to the end of Book 5 when he is confident and being his sassy self in front of all the Gods, shows character growth

Minor complaint about Olympus: all the thrones look the same instead of being designed according to each God. Wish they at least make Hera's golden,that happened in myths, it is canon

In the books Luke tries to kill Percy with a scorpion showing how he really is joining the dark side, here that didn't happen and that is disappointing

Annabeth following Luke and Percy to the woods while she is invisible is weird,isn't it? It does not makes sense why she did that and just makes you question her intentions and if she has done stuff like that before. I genuinely hate it

We do not get to see Percy having to choose between staying at Camp all year or going back with his mom. It is important because it shows what kind of guy Percy is and what his priorities are. He is a mama's boy and he going back to Sally speaks volumes about his loyalty and love for her

This version of Gabe did not deserve to die. He was just some dude, maybe useless but he did not hurt anyone or anything so the punishment is no proportional to his actions. If they town down the aggressions, is only fair to do the same with the punishment. Also, the casting does not hel. Mr Timm Sharp has a wholesome vibe. He really reminds me of Paul Rudd. I can see him playing the role of a loving father just like Paul did with Scott in the first two Ant-Man movies easily

This is not about the show itself, so I didn't know where else to put it but I genuinely love to see the interviews. The cast is super fun, have better chemistry just being themselves than in the show , and overall I have a better time watching them than the show,sadly

#Percy Jackson #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #Percy Jackon and the Olympians #PJO Series #PJO Show Crit #PJO Show #pjoverse #rrverse #rr crit

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oscar-fastri · 3 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/oscar-fastri/741434686381883392/finding-out-nico-rosberg-attended-international?source=share

please elaborate on this, i'm very curious

hi anon!! so, here's some context first (from nico's wikipedia page)

i'm going to preface this by saying that this is based on my personal experience with international school and my interpretations of nico and his actions. this is in no way actually representative of his actual person or experience, i'm just a fan theorizing and analyzing :)

(this is continued beneath the cut because i got very rambly and long-winded)

a few things about international schools, particularly international private schools such as the ones nico attended:

it's typically parents from affluent backgrounds who send their children to these schools. think businessmen/entrepeneurs, celebrities, politicians, high-earning doctors/lawyers/etc, and yes, professional athletes.

it's very expensive. very, very expensive. ism's annual tuition starts at 8500€ and can reach 31200€, not including lunch or extracurricular activities (and if you don't participate in extracurricular activities like sports or clubs you'll be ostracized)

application processes are... interesting. yes, it's possible to get in on pure merit, but scholarships are few and far between and often decided arbitrarily. nepotism, money, and influence are very often stronger factors in a child's acceptance.

due to all this, it's a very insulated environment where your social circle consists almost entirely of other people from a similar social and financial background as you.

another effect is that there's typically a pretty small student body. international schools are often k-12 but can have as little as 200 students for all their grades combined, as opposed to public school, where it's quite easy for a high school (3-4 grades, depending on your educational system) to accept thousands of students.

students are therefore pretty hierarchical and, quite truthfully, malicious. social status is the currency in this environment because everyone is well-off. everyone has everything they could ever want, so how do you become more?

you become loved, of course—or at least as close as you can get to being loved in a place like this. or you become insanely successful, but then you'll be hated for shining brighter than everyone else.

you also guard everything you already have (popularity, beauty, reputation, resources, connections) jealously. you are possessive over what is yours because if you are not you will be left with nothing.

finally, true friends are few and far between. you're much more likely to make associations and alliances than actual, genuine connections.

(seem a little familiar yet? no? you don't think international schools parallel formula 1? okay then, let's continue)

now that i've finished psychoanalyzing this demographic, let's move on to nico, who:

grew up in this environment on top of competing in karting from a young age

was famously known for being pretty

was also famously known for being nice(r)

actually shared his resources with one lewis hamilton as a child

speaks five languages. random, but when you learn so many languages, you pick up things from people around you. you become malleable, in a sense. the way you think and the way you perceive the world is multi-faceted and has been shaped and reshaped so many times. (*cough* personal experience *cough*)

refused to be defined by his father's legacy, yet was always shadowed by it

was extremely cautious around the press as a young driver. he knew how to protect himself from those who were out to hurt him, not physically, but his reputation, psyche, emotional state, etc. i've found that most formula 1 drivers take at least a season to realize this and learn, but nico knew from the beginning

was notably a careful driver

genuinely believed he could keep a good relationship with lewis once they were teammates and given championship-challenging machinery

when everything went to shit, he put his head down and basically changed his entire lifestyle to make sure he would win

did everything he could to win. everything. there's a reason why lewis still seems to be traumatized from 2016, and it's not just because he lost the wdc. do you see him avoiding max? not really, but he's admitted to running away from nico in the lobby of his place in monaco (oh, did i mention that they're still living in the same building?)

retired once he had achieved his goal of winning the world driver's championship

retired before the title could be taken from him, because no matter what anyone says, having something taken from you is different from giving it up willingly. now, he gets to keep a piece of his victory that will never be tarnished by defeat

did not tell toto about his retirement in person

did everything he could to win his wdc

but also still considers lewis as his best friend

is once again living in the upper echelons of society, raising his daughters with his wife, the picture-perfect wdc who left with his head held high and is now enjoying the fruits of his labor

we see so many other wdcs continue to fight, to try to hold on to that glory. lewis, seb, nando—their golden days are arguably over, yet they won't stop until their bodies force them to. nico, on the other hand, left, something that seems impossible for any other driver.

i think it is because he grew up in privilege. he has always had something to fall back on. even if he fails, he will always be nico rosberg, formula 1 racer, son of world champion keke rosberg (who won his wdc in very unusual circumstances). if anyone else fails, they would have been a failed formula 1 driver first and foremost. he may have disliked comparisons with his father, but that doesn't mean they didn't protect him in a way.

that's not to say that nico didn't fear defeat just as much as anyone else or that he didn't crave the title. i don't deny that he wanted it just as much as anyone else and that he fought for it with everything he had. i hold a lot of respect for him for what he went through during those years.

it's just that nico, once he had it, no longer felt the need to keep chasing the high, especially when it comes with the risk of flaying himself open again. why would he do that, when he's already experienced it for the first time, when it's the purest?

there's a kind of hunger that only comes when all you have is racing, a kind of hunger that people like nico rosberg will never know. this is the hunger that sebastian vettel, fernando alonso, and lewis hamilton, who all came from less fortunate backgrounds and never had the perspective that nico has, will always have in them.

(some may ask, now, then why is max verstappen not like nico? why is he not satisfied yet? i contend that his father's way of raising him has instilled an even keener and rawer version of this hunger in max. also, he's already hinted at leaving in 2028. max and nico are the two sides of the coin that is being the formula 1 driver son of a formula 1 driver. ironically enough, they both clawed their first championship from the myth and legend that is lewis hamilton, triumphing over him in the dying moments of a season, but not before giving everything they had.)

on the other hand, the fact that nico was able to regard lewis as a friend for so long, even when they were competitors, and is still calling him his friend today, speaks volumes to me about his character. there are few people who are capable of experiencing the things he has and keep their heart open, if guarded.

hell, even keke rosberg barely trusted lewis in the early days of their friendship, but nico welcomed him in with open arms and still defends and praises him to this day.

however, there is also very few people who could have done everything he did to win—mind games, hard racing, burning a decades-long friendship to the ground (from both sides)—and not run away screaming whenever they hear lewis' name. i wonder what went through his head during that year and right after.

i just find it fascinating how this little piece of information sheds so much light, at least for me, into nico's character. he has layers! like an onion! isn't he neat?

(i wrote this at 1am please forgive any unhingedness)

#av.spills #av.essays #psychoanalyze f1 drivers with avery!#i'm adding a lot of tags cause i worked hard on this and i want to be affirmed. sue me.#nr6 #lh44 #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #brocedes #formula 1 #formula one #f1 #f1 analysis

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brookheimer · 1 year

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truly do not understand how people are JUST NOW seeing roman as a geniune character with depth and not just "haha funney man mommy issues sexual problems lol!!! 🤪" like listen i started watching succession like. 3 weeks ago. and people that were watching this from the second it came out couldn't see the importance of his character until now?? fucking eleventh hour??? anyways hes the queen of my heart 4 ever and ever

no literally like i genuinely just... cannot conceive of someone watching multiple episodes of the show and still not taking him seriously or seeing how tragic he is. it's one thing to think he's an asshole -- he is -- and it's another entirely to think he's a one-note sex-freak funny-guy who isn't written just as carefully and tragically as kendall and shiv. and it's not like this is new news either -- in the second episode, when logan was in the hospital, everyone was trying to figure out who would run waystar and roman was like can you guys shut the fuck up and worry about our dad? and then roman made greg go back to the penthouse to get him something that smelled like logan?!?! this was, again, EPISODE TWO!!!! and somehow people are only saying just NOW that, like, 'turns out roman roy is the most caring/empathetic/family-oriented/etc of them all'! like oh wow turns out logan roy is a bad father. turns out kendall roy is an addict. turns out shiv roy is not the best feminist activist. we have known all of this for a very long time and none of it contradicts the other parts of the characters -- logan is a bad father and a good businessman who is honestly not wrong about his kids, kendall roy is an addict and he is trying so hard not to be and to escape the cycle of abuse, shiv roy is a bad feminist and entirely the product of a family and an environment that refused to value her for her entire life simply by nature of her gender. why could everyone acknowledge these things for the other characters but not roman? why couldn't roman be both an asshole and a deeply tragic character like everyone else?

like, just bc you can't reconcile the unlikable aspects of a character with the nuances of their backgrounds/psyches/etc doesn't mean those depths don't exist, it just means you fundamentally missed the point of his character for at least 3 entire seasons. crazy how articles are really out here saying shit like 'improbably, roman roy shows emotion' like that is actually so incredibly embarrassing ? like, you're a cultural critic at a well-known magazine, your job is literally just getting paid to watch and analyze television shows, and it took you until the final season of succession to realize that roman roy is an interesting character and not just perverted comic relief? why would you admit that to the world for real

#queen of my heart 4 ever and ever 4 real. like . so real #idk what i'm gonna do w myself now that i no longer have to defend his honor. just kidding i am going to spiral about him anyways #also welcome to the lovely world of succession anon! enjoy your time here and by enjoy i mean undergo severe emotional pain #<3 #succession #asks #anon #roman roy #casey shut the fuck up about roman roy #<-- i have made a new tag for me rambling about roman #shouldve done this with like amy brookheimer and people too tbh but cest la vie #100 #this time on posts i didn’t expect to get notes

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shimamitsu · 9 months

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feel free to share your thoughts in the tags!

brief summaries if you need to refresh your memory below

scene 11: pt. 2 of shimamitsu's little misunderstanding. the next day, mitsumi asks mika for advice and realizes what she really wanted to say to shima. after school, she tells him that things are dull when he's not around. shima tells her he doesn't want her to believe or even listen to the rumors going around about him. he says it's the first time he's been real friends with a girl. the chapter ends with mitsumi calling fumi and asking her if she can feel that way about a friend

scene 19: the chapter starts with a flashback of young shima reciting lines to cheer his mom up. after both shima and mitsumi hear their classmates talking behind her back, shima talks to her. shima wishes she doesn't get hurt and never changes who she is inside. they dance to the musical number they're preparing for the school festival for a few seconds. after that, mitsumi tells him that she trips up a lot, but that makes her a pro at jumping back up. the chapter ends with their classmates singing happy birthday to shima and his mom finding a festival flyer in his room

scene 22: at the school festival, ririka accuses shima's mom of making him act for her sake again. after picking keiri up, shima's mom leaves. mitsumi realizes ririka did it on purpose and before she can say anything else to shima, mitsumi strikes her famous anteater pose. while doing his last show, shima wonders what the thing he feels towards mitsumi and kanechika is and realizes it's jealousy. after the show, shima tells ririka he doesn't want to follow her down a destructive path anymore and that he enjoys his school

scene 27: after the events of pt. 1, makoto hangs out with her senpai from her club. when she mentions yuzu and he calls her "the pretty one", she starts overthinking and gets frustrated. they part ways, she calls yuzu and shes asks makoto to hang out. when they meet up, yuzu tells her she looks super cute and fixes her hair. while listening to her speak, makoto thinks that being friends with her makes her happier than yuzu will ever know. the next day, her senpai sees her in the hallway and he thinks she was cute the day before

scene 29: while chatting with a co-worker, nao-chan reminisces abou the days she spent taking care of young mitsumi back in her hometown. in a flashback, nao-chan picks up mitsumi from kindergarten and mitsumi shows her a flower crown. nao-chan tells her she'd always wished to be a pretty girl who wears pretty things like her. after a while, mitsumi gives her a flower bracelet, nao-chan asks her if she's cute and mitsumi answers that she's super cute. back in the present, mitsumi's family receives the new year and her dad calls nao-chan. she tells him she'll visit them this summer and bring mitsumi's friends with her

scene 31: after the events of pt. 1, mika tells mukai she's gonna confess to shima and asks him if it would gross a guy out to receive chocolate from her. mukai tells her the average guy would be psyched. mika confesses, shima turns her down and she cries while saying she's glad she's allowed to fall in love. the next day, the girls share sweets and mitsumi gives shima a little heart shaped chocolate

scene 33: mitsumi and her friends hang out after school to celebrate her birthday. nao-chan meets up with goro, her boyfriend, and tells him that even if she loves mitsumi, sometimes she can't help but feel she has the life nao-chan always wanted. the next day, nao-chan makes her pancakes. the chapter ends with mitsumi telling shima her aunt's the best

scene 39: after yuzu's friends set her up on a date without her knowing, she has an argument with them and goes home early. the girls find out about this from shima, so makoto visits her and tells yuzu she wishes she'd tell her when she's hurting. while crying, yuzu asks makoto if it's ok if she doesn't have many friends, and makoto tells her it is

scene 45: mitsumi and ujiie compete for the position of student council president and mitsumi wins. ujiie cries and tells her how he really feels about her and that she wouldn't get his struggles. mitsumi also cries and says she gets it and tells him she knew all of it was impossible for her while thinking about shima and her friends

scene 46: mitsumi and shima go on a picnic date. after having a talk, they decide to break up. even if he agrees, shima still feels upset. mitsumi reassures him and tells him that no matter who he is, she'd still like him, and that's why she wants to be friends. the chapter ends with both of them walking while holding hands

#pls vote i'm curious and also bored #i have a list of my fave chapters and there are like 20 of them but i picked the top 10 for length reasons... it was hard #most of these are fan favorites anyway #skip and loafer #skip to loafer #using the tags so more ppl see it hehe

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sattlersquarry · 2 years

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& now i'm covered in you (steve harrington x female!reader)

Summary: (Post Season 3, inspired by Taylor Swift's "ivy") Despite having a boyfriend, you find your feelings for your best friend Steve Harrington growing tenfold over Christmas break, 1985.

Word Count: ~6k (I got carried away ahaha)

Warnings: (I'd say this one's 18+, maybe) Language, alcohol use, mentions of sex, angst related to general unhappiness and loneliness, mentions of nightmares, and canon-typical violence. Also lots of mutual pining. Extra TW for abusive, manipulative behaviors from an OC (this is a Tyler Didn'tGiveHimALastNameBecauseHeSucks hate page).

A/N: I felt unhappy so I wanted to write a fic about feeling unhappy and then kissing Steve Harrington. It turned into this. Enjoy!

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 14th, 1985

MY PAIN FITS IN THE PALM OF YOUR FREEZING HAND / TAKING MINE, BUT IT’S BEEN PROMISED TO ANOTHER

It’s a slow Sunday morning at the Family Video, and Steve Harrington wishes he were anywhere else but here.

His job is essentially dealing with one annoying customer after another, all day, for eight hours. It’s passable when Robin’s scheduled, but since she’s still a high schooler and just works part-time, Steve is left to fend for himself a good chunk of the time.

The bright spot in his miserable existence at the video store is when you come to visit him.

When he first got hired in October, you used to come twice a week to rent movies and talk with him. You always did a great job sounding impressed with Steve’s (albeit limited) movie knowledge when Keith hovered nearby.

As of late, the space between your visits grew significantly. And if you rented a movie, you’d use the curbside drop-off box to return it instead of coming in to see Steve. He tries not to take that personally. He rationalizes it, knowing you’re probably just busy with your classes at Roane County Community College. That was it. Nothing else.

He tries not to think about how your avoidance could have something to do with the events at Starcourt last summer. About how maybe it was related to waking up next to him in an underground Russian bunker, bloodied and bruised and drugged out of your mind. About how maybe you didn’t want to see him because you blamed him for—

Ding, ding! The bell above the door signals your entrance. Steve looks up from the returns he’s processing, wondering if he’s summoned you with the power of thought.

“Y/N!” he says, his bored expression brightening. “Hey!”

You give him a shy smile and wave.

“Hey, stranger,” you say, the gentle lilt to your voice making Steve’s heart melt. You stamp your boots, shaking snow onto the doormat. “Sorry, I know it’s been forever.”

“Don’t even worry about that,” Steve says, waving your apology away like a pesky fly. “I know you’re busy with finals.”

You join him by the counter, and the two of you catch up a little more: you talk about your classes, he talks about his job and his misadventures in babysitting.

At some point, the conversation shifts to relationships. Steve hopes he doesn’t sound too eager when he asks, “Are you…seeing anyone?”

He’s expecting you to say no. He doesn’t know why—you’re pretty, really pretty, and kind. And smart. And you smell nice. Long and short of it, you’re a total catch.

So he shouldn’t be surprised when you say, “Actually, yes.”

His eyes widen. He plasters on a (fake) smile and says, “Whoa! Awesome! Who’s the lucky guy? Someone I know?”

You shake your head. For some reason, you can’t look Steve in the eye while you explain, and instead pick at your fingernails.

“He’s from a small town in West Roane County,” you say. “I met him in my psych class. His name’s Tyler.”

“Tyler,” Steve repeats it, trying not to make it sound like a curse. “What’s he like?”

“He plays baseball,” you add. “And he’s in a band.” You start scratching at a stain on the countertop. “He’s pretty nice.”

“Pretty nice?” Steve says, eyebrows pulling together. “Y/N, you deserve better than ‘pretty nice.’”

“He’s fine!” you say, a little exasperated, as if you’ve had this conversation many times before. You meet Steve’s eyes, something akin to defiance flashing in yours. “He’s great! I really, really like him.”

“That’s great,” Steve says, lying through his teeth. “Super great. I’m glad you’re happy.”

You falter. Your expression twists to one of regret, for just a moment, before you turn away.

“I should get going,” you say. “He’s meeting me at Enzo’s for lunch. But I’ll see you around, all right?”

“Sure,” Steve says. He runs a hand through his hair. “Hey, listen, sorry if I said something to upset—”

“It’s fine, Steve,” you say. A lie. You beeline toward the exit.

You’re halfway out the door when Steve steps out from behind the counter and blurts out, “You still having those nightmares?”

You pause in the doorway. You consider just leaving, pretending you didn’t hear him. But you knew you were being a bit short with him, and you didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

You turn back into the store and shrug.

“I mean, sometimes,” you say. Another lie. You have them every night. Nightmares where you wake up in that godforsaken elevator again. Nightmares where you watch as the soldiers beat the shit out of Steve, out of Robin, out of you again and again and again, and over and over and over.

Steve doesn’t say anything. He studies you, honey-brown eyes shining like opal in the mid-morning light. He’s waiting for you to elaborate, so you do.

“I was seeing a therapist about them,” you admit. “But I was tired of wasting 100 bucks a week sugar-coating the horrible truth to someone who would never know what really happened. So I stopped going.”

“It’s hard,” Steve says. He cautiously steps closer, as if you’re a jittery animal he doesn’t want to spook. “Listen, if you ever want to talk about what happened, I’m here for you. Okay?”

Your heart twists. For a moment, you want to drop the facade. You want to tell Steve every bad thing you’ve been thinking and feeling lately. But you can’t do that. You can’t give him that burden.

So you pull him into a hug (so he can’t see your face) and say, “Thank you, Steve.”

He hugs you back, and you relish in the feeling of his arms around you. You want to stay like this forever.

But you can’t, because your boyfriend is waiting for you at a booth in Enzo’s.

Steve watches you go, a splintering feeling exploding in his chest. He tells himself it’s only because he can tell that something’s wrong, that you aren’t being fully honest. That it has absolutely nothing to do with his unrequited feelings for you, the ones he’s had since the two of you became Scoops Ahoy coworkers in May.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27th, 1985

YOUR TOUCH BROUGHT FORTH AN INCANDESCENT GLOW / TARNISHED BUT SO GRAND

Steve doesn’t see you again for almost two weeks.

Christmas comes and goes, and he finds himself wondering about you and your elusive new boyfriend more often than he should.

You visit the store two days after Christmas with Tyler in tow.

“Who’s that with Y/N?” Robin asks, peering out the store’s large front windows from the sci-fi section.

Steve looks up from the tapes he’s organizing and almost drops them at the sight. A tall, muscular guy with piercing eyes has his arm around you as the two of you walk through the parking lot. Steve doesn’t miss how you seem to sag under the weight of the guy’s arm.

“That,” Steve says flatly, “must be Tyler.”

The two of you enter the store.

“Hey!” you say, pulling out from under your boyfriend's arm to give Robin a quick hug. “Merry Christmas, a little late!”

“Merry Christmas Y/N!” Robin says, hugging you back.

You turn to Steve and hesitate, before giving him a quick hug as well. You try not to think about how good his new aftershave smells: like cinnamon, like peppermint, like everything cozy and warm.

“I’m glad you’re both here,” you say. You gesture to Tyler. “This is my boyfriend, Tyler. Tyler, these are my friends Robin and Steve.”

“Nice to meet you, man,” Steve says, holding out his hand. He hopes the smile on his face doesn’t look too forced.

Tyler gives Steve a once-over before shaking his hand, and then shaking Robin’s.

“Y/N’s mentioned you two,” Tyler says. He puts his arm around you again. “Says you worked in the mall together, at some ice cream shop?”

“Scoops Ahoy,” Robin says. “God, I do not miss that uniform.”

You and Steve chuckle in agreement. Tyler squeezes you a bit tighter. You stiffen.

“Sucks that it burned down,” Tyler says. “Y/N says you were there when it happened. That’s fucking crazy.”

“Yeah,” Steve says, eyes flicking to Robin, and then back to you. He clears his throat. “Crazy’s one word for it.”

“Did you like, see the flames—”

“Hey,” you interrupt, before Tyler’s morbid curiosity of the mall “fire” can send you into a panic attack. “I’ve got to run to the bathroom. Is there a key, or something?”

“Nope!” Robin says. “It’s just down the hall to the left.”

“Great, thanks. Ty, why don’t you pick out the movie?”

“Sure, babe,” he says, sounding a bit bored. You kiss him on the cheek and disappear down the hall.

“Need any recommendations?” Robin asks Tyler. “I know all about the foreign films and horror, and Steve’s big on the action-comedies—”

Ding, ding! A new patron enters the store—a pretty girl, around your age, wearing a low-cut sweater and bright red lipstick. Tyler’s focus immediately shifts, eyes hungry as he watches her walk toward the romance movie aisle.

Robin scrunches her nose up in disgust and shares a look with Steve, who looks pissed.

“Huh?” Tyler says, turning back to the duo when the new object of his attraction is no longer visible behind the shelves.

“Movie recommendations,” Steve says sharply. “Need them?”

“Nah,” Tyler says. He pats Steve on the back a little harder than necessary. “I’m good, champ.”

Steve bristles. Tyler breezes to the romance movie aisle.

“Holy shit,” Robin whispers. “He was totally ogling that girl!”

“He’s more than ogling,” Steve hisses. “Look!”

The two of them eavesdrop as Tyler flirts with the pretty patron, complimenting her lipstick, her sweater, her ass in those jeans. It’s shameless and pathetic, but the girl giggles and twirls her hair around her finger.

“He’s a total dog,” Robin says, crossing her arms. “We have to tell Y/N.”

Steve’s seeing red. He wants to do more than just tell you—he wants to knock Tyler down a peg. Or two. Or seven.

Before Robin can stop him, he’s charging toward Tyler and the girl. He grabs a VHS copy of Sixteen Candles off a nearby shelf.

“Hey, Tyler,” Steve says loudly, sauntering down the aisle. He slaps the tape into Tyler’s chest. “I found the movie your girlfriend was looking for.”

“‘Girlfriend’?!” the pretty patron says with a scowl. She huffs and flounces away, shoulder-checking Tyler on the way past.

If looks could kill, Tyler’s glare would send Steve six feet under.

“What the hell, man?” he says. “What about bro code?”

“We’re not bros,” Steve snaps. He steps a little closer. “Have some respect for Y/N, okay, ‘champ’?”

You emerge from the store bathroom and join the boys in the romance aisle, clueless to the tension.

“Ooh, Sixteen Candles!” you say, noticing the tape in Tyler’s hands. “I love that one!”

“I’m not watching this girly shit!” Tyler barks. He chucks the tape at you. You flinch and fumble, dropping it to the ground. “Let’s go, Y/N.”

“Wait,” you say with a frown. “Aren’t we going to rent a movie—”

“We’ll just go to the drive-in!” Tyler says. He storms toward the exit. You follow, and don’t hear Steve calling you to, “Hold on, Y/N—”

“It’s a little cold for the drive-in,” you say with an awkward laugh, “don’t you think?”

Tyler looks down at you with a sleazy smile, grabbing your belt loops and pulling you flush against him (in the middle of the goddamn Family Video).

“I mean, I know a couple ways you can warm me up. Like what you did last night…”

Shame burns through you. You hate how Tyler talks about sex so flippantly and in front of your friends.

You hate how he looks at you. Not like a person, not like a girlfriend. Like a sexual conquest.

You hate how he touches you, like a possession.

You don’t want to spend your night at the drive-in having subpar sex in the backseat of Tyler’s Ford. You want a cozy night in, with candy canes and warm blankets and hot cocoa and marshmallows and a movie you’re actually going to watch.

You gently push Tyler away from you.

“I’d rather just stay in Ty,” you say quietly.

Tyler’s expression morphs back to anger.

“Fucking hell,” he grumbles. “Fine. Get your dumbass movie and let’s fucking go.”

He leaves to smoke outside. You fidget with the hem of your sweater and watch him for a moment, too embarrassed to face your friends again.

You feel a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Here,” Steve says softly. He hands you Sixteen Candles. You stare down at it, unable to look him in the eyes. “Is this still the one you want?”

You nod. Steve squeezes your shoulder and drops his hand.

“C’mon, I’ll get it checked out for you.”

You follow him to the counter, dragging your feet the whole way. Neither of you say anything as he finalizes the rental. Steve catches Robin’s eye from across the store and gives her a look. Robin nods, interpreting the signal.

“You know,” she pipes up, joining you two by the counter. “Steve and I only have an hour left of our shift. If you hang with us until then, we can go get food after.”

“Sounds fun, Rob,” Steve says. “What do you say, Y/N?”

You want to; you really do. But—

“I shouldn’t,” you say. “Tyler’s pissed, so he won’t want to wait.”

“Tell him to buzz off!” Robin blurts out. She sucks in a breath. “Look, I’ve got to be honest. I don’t love the way he treated you just now.”

“He’s just got a temper,” you say, waving away her concern. “It’s fine.”

You reach to grab Sixteen Candles from the counter. Steve stops you, holding both your hands in his.

All the air escapes your lungs. Steve’s touch is tender and warm. He’s looking at you with concern, empathy. He’s a gentleman and would never loudly boast about sex. He’s the perfect antithesis of Tyler.

For a fleeting moment that you aren’t too proud of, you imagine that sex with Steve in his BMW would be leagues more enjoyable than anything you’ve done with your boyfriend.

“Y/N,” Steve says, voice low. “Is Tyler…hurting you?”

“No!” you say, much louder than intended. “No, no. Nothing like that.”

“You’re sure?” Steve asks, brows furrowed. “The way you reacted to him throwing the tape—I mean, anyone throwing anything at anyone makes them flinch, but I just—”

“It’s not like that,” you repeat. “But thank you for looking out for me. Both of you!”

You want to say more. You want to admit that you’ve been thinking about breaking it off with Tyler, because you have the sneaking suspicion he’s cheating on you. You want to break down crying because he’s your first serious boyfriend and it’s not going the way you envisioned at all in your head, and you’re starting to wonder if you’re even capable of being loved at all—

Beep! Beep! Beeeeeeeeep!

“HURRY UP!” Tyler yells from outside the store. He honks his car horn twice more.

You quickly pull your hands out of Steve’s and mumble out goodbyes, before grabbing the movie and running out of the store.

Steve frowns as you climb into Tyler’s car, the splintering in his chest from a couple weeks ago back with a vengeance.

“Oh, that guy sucks,” Robin says, watching with disdain as Tyler peels out of the parking lot. “What are you thinking, intervention?”

“Maybe we put a hit on him,” Steve says darkly. “Or, hell, we handle it ourselves. I’ve got my bat. Do you think Sinclair would let you borrow the wrist rocket?”

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31st, 1985

YOUR OPAL EYES ARE ALL I WISH TO SEE / HE WANTS WHAT’S ONLY YOURS

Now that the majority of Steve’s friends are nerds, any parties he throws these days are of the D&D variety.

It’s New Year’s Eve, and he’s allowing Mike, Dustin, and Lucas to run a special holiday-themed one-off campaign at his house. The other guests include Robin, Erica, Max, and you.

Well, you’re supposed to be there. But now it’s almost an hour after the scheduled start time and the impatient Mike started the campaign already, and you’re nowhere to be seen.

Worry blooms in Steve’s chest as he checks the clock for the fortieth time.

“Dude!” Dustin says. “It’s not midnight yet!”

“I know!” Steve says. “I’m just worried about Y/N. She should be here.”

“She’s probably just driving slow,” Lucas says. “The snow’s coming down pretty hard.”

But another hour passes, and another, and you still aren’t there.

Steve slips away during the one-shot’s final battle to give you a call.

He thinks for a second that you aren’t home, until he hears: “Hello?”

“Y/N, hey,” Steve says lightly. “Happy New Year, almost.”

You squeeze your eyes shut.

“Oh my God, Steve,” you say. “I’m sorry. I know, I suck.”

“You don’t suck.”

“I do. Totally, utterly, completely suck. I’m late.”

“It’s no big,” Steve says. He fidgets with the phone cord. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay. My car’s a piece of shit though and wouldn’t run, and the taxi fares right now are insane because of the holidays, and I called Tyler and asked him to drive me and he said he would, but that was, like, two-and-a-half hours ago and I haven’t heard from him since.”

The mention of Tyler spikes Steve’s blood pressure.

“Oh. Tyler. You’re…still with him?”

You blanch.

“Oh, um, yeah.”

You can almost hear his unspoken question: But why?

You aren’t sure why, but you find yourself verbalizing the thought you’ve had for weeks: “I think I’m going to break it off though.”

Steve tries not to sound too excited.

“Really?” he says. “That’s good! Seriously, you deserve better. He was a total jerk to you the other day.”

“Yeah,” you admit. “He was. He’s like that a lot more than I realized when we first started dating.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Steve says cautiously, “but why exactly did you start dating him?”

Because I like you. Because I’ve liked you since the summer, Steve Harrington, but you never made a move and obviously don’t feel the same and I just wanted to be wanted for once in my stupid life—

“I like baseball players,” you say, twisting your mouth into a smirk.

Steve’s mind flashes to the nailed baseball bat in his car trunk.

“What about guys who are burnt-out basketball players and swimmers,” Steve teases, “who also happen to be capable with a bat?”

Your chest starts to feel warm. No way he was actually flirting, right? No. He’s just joking around.

“Hmm,” you say with a chuckle. “I’ll have to circle back about that one.”

In the background, you hear the D&D group cheer.

“Sounds like they just won, or something,” Steve says, pushing the phone closer to his ear to block out the raucous noise.

“I wish I was there to see it,” you say. Before you lose your nerve, you quietly add, “I wish I was with you, Steve.”

The double meaning is not lost on Steve: with you, as in physically at the party. But also with you, as in I-wish-I-was-dating-you-and-not-that-shithead-Tyler. Steve’s mouth drops open.

He’s about to ask you for clarification, or to tell you he feels the same, but you curse.

“Shit, Tyler’s here and he brought his stupid friends. I guess he’s not giving me a ride. I’m sorry, Steve. I’ve got to go.”

“Wait, Y/N, I’ll come get you or—”

Click. You’ve disconnected the call, leaving him reeling about your maybe-confession.

He stares at the phone, mind buzzing in tandem with the droning dial tone.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1st, 1986

OH, I CAN’T / STOP YOU PUTTING ROOTS IN MY DREAMLAND

You had wanted to break up with Tyler as soon as he came over, but he brought all his friends, and his friends brought wine coolers, and you had to spend your New Year’s Eve as the designated babysitter, making sure no one got alcohol poisoning.

With a drunk Tyler passed out on the mattress next to you, you went to bed thinking about how you were going to end things. You drifted off to sleep, worried about what his reaction would be.

For the first time in almost 6 months, you didn’t have nightmares.

In fact, you had quite the opposite: a rather amorous dream about someone else. The kind of dream that has you feeling flushed, your insides fuzzy and hot.

When you wake up the next morning, Tyler is already gone, and he isn’t answering his landline. Instead of trying to track him down, you decide to make it up to your friends for missing the D&D party. You invite them to go sledding on the big hill by your apartment complex.

At some point during the festivities, you drag Robin aside and away from the others. You confide in her about your interesting dream to try and get some clarity.

Instead, she just laughs and laughs.

“It’s not funny!” you say, glaring at her.

“It is pretty funny, though,” Robin says with a giggle and a snort. “I mean, we’ve seen a lot of wild shit, but you having a sex dream about Steve—”

“It was not a sex dream!” you hiss.

“Okay, whatever. A ‘romantic’ dream about Steve. Look, I don’t know what that means, but I do know one thing: both dream-Steve and real-life-Steve would treat you a hundred times better than Tyler does.”

“There’s no way Steve feels that way about me, though,” you say. You spare a glance at him further down the hill, where he’s cheering for Erica as she speeds away on her bobsled.

“You’ll never know unless you tell him how you feel,” Robin says, playfully poking you in the shoulder. “Who knows, maybe you had that sex dream—”

“Again, NOT A SEX DREAM!”

“—because he was thinking about you, too.”

She winks and wanders to Mike and Lucas. You accidentally catch Steve’s eye. You give him an awkward smile and turn away, praying he didn’t overhear you and Robin…

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1st, 1986 & THURSDAY, JANUARY 2nd, 1986

SO TELL ME TO RUN / OR DARE TO SIT AND WATCH WHAT WE’LL BECOME / AND DRINK MY HUSBAND’S WINE

Steve never gets the chance to talk with you one-on-one during the day of sledding. It seems like you’re avoiding him. Every time he tries to strike up a conversation, and maybe bring up your statement from New Year’s Eve, you make some excuse to go on a hot cocoa run or grab an extra hat for Dustin and his cold ears.

Which is why when your roommate Molly joins the fun, Steve doesn’t rebuff her advances when she bats her eyelashes and asks, “Sled with me, Steve?”

“Sure, Molly,” he says with the kind of grin “King Steve” should’ve retired two years ago. “Sounds fun.”

He doesn’t miss how Robin’s coughing fit sounds suspiciously like: “Dingus! You’re a dingus!” as he and Molly climb onto the sled. He doesn’t miss how Erica loudly whispers to Lucas, “Wait, doesn’t Steve like Y/N?”

He definitely doesn’t miss how you look sick to your stomach, how you turn to Robin and say, “I’m not feeling well. I’m heading in.” How you make some comment about some party Tyler is throwing, how you want to rest up before you go.

Steve doesn’t see you for the rest of the day, and although you have plans with freaking Tyler, he politely declines Molly’s offer to go to the diner for a bite.

Later that night, however, he does see you again, in less-than-stellar circumstances.

It starts when he gets a phone call from Nancy Wheeler at 1 a.m.

“I’m sorry to call so late,” Nancy says as Steve rubs his bleary eyes, “but this is urgent.”

Panic rises.

“What’s going on?” Steve asks, imagining Russians and demogorgons and rips in the fabric of space-time.

“It’s not Upside Down stuff,” Nancy clarifies. “It’s Y/N. She just called me, and I think something’s really wrong.”

This doesn’t lessen Steve’s panic one bit. Cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear, Steve rushes to get dressed while Nancy explains that you called sobbing, absolutely hysterical.

“I couldn’t really make out what she was saying,” Nancy continues, “but she gave me an address. I would go get her, but my parents are out of town and have the car with them. I’m worried about her, Steve.”

Steve assures Nancy that he’s on it, thanks her for the information, and breaks about a dozen traffic safety laws to get to the address in record time.

The address takes him to a house on the edge of town. It’s very obviously a house owned by college boys, due to the amount of red SOLO cups littering the front yard, the music pumping through the windows, and the frat-house flag waving on the porch.

The party is loud and overwhelming. Steve cuts through the crowd, elbowing drunks left and right and loudly asking, “Does anybody know where Y/N Y/L/N is?”

His saving grace comes in the form of a bored-looking designated driver sitting at the kitchen counter.

“Is Y/N wearing a pink sweater?” the DD asks Steve. “With, like, little hearts on it and shit?”

Steve nods, remembering how cute you looked in it earlier during sledding.

“I saw her go in there,” the DD says, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the pantry.

Steve thanks the guy and slides open the door. His heart cracks into 70 pieces when he sees you sitting on the pantry floor hugging your knees to your chest, sobbing.

In one of your hands, you’re gripping a bottle of wine like it’s a lifeline.

“Y/N,” Steve breathes out, rushing to sit next to you. He puts a hand on your back. “What happened? Are you okay?”

You continue to cry and shake your head no.

“He has a girlfriend!” you say, hiccuping between every word.

“Who?” Steve asks, although he has a sneaking suspicion.

“Tyler!” you say. You take a swig of wine and start to slur your words. “I came over early and I found him making out with some girl. She’s been his girlfriend for three years. Three fucking years!” You bark out a hollow laugh. “I figured he was cheating, but turns out I was the one he was cheating with!”

“Oh, shit,” Steve says. He wraps an arm around you. You lean into him and lay your head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You drop the wine bottle and roughly wipe your eyes.

“I don’t even know why I’m fucking crying,” you say. “I only came tonight to break up with him anyway. And he treated me like shit. But…ugh, it’s stupid.”

“What?” Steve asks, voice gentle, as he runs a hand up and down your arm—a comforting touch.

You suck in a breath. If you were sober, you’d keep your mouth shut. But your alcohol-addled brain doesn’t give you the chance to stop yourself.

“It was nice to be wanted for once,” you mumble. “I’m just so tired of feeling this way. Feeling so goddamn lonely. So fucking unhappy.”

You’re glad that you can’t see Steve’s face, because if you could, there’s no way you’d have the confidence to keep going.

“I don’t know why I feel this way,” you continue. “I have you and our other friends. I have my parents. I have classmates I’m getting to know. I have a part-time job that pays well and I’m taking courses I’m interested in and I’m constantly surrounded by people and my life is good so I should be happy but I’m just not.”

Before Steve can respond, you start to ramble: “I’m unhappy, and I don’t know what to do or how to change it. I feel stuck. Stagnant. Like I’m in quicksand and I’ll keep getting pulled down until there’s nothing left.”

For a moment, Steve doesn’t respond. Insecurity chips away, making you worry that you overdid it. You clear your throat and start to backpedal:

“Sorry, ignore me, it’s stupid—”

“It’s not,” Steve says firmly. “I promise you, it’s not stupid. Honestly, I get it. Really, I do. My life is not what I wanted it to be and I constantly find myself wondering if it’s fate or if I did something stupid in a past life and now I’m being punished.”

You bite back a badly timed joke about his tenure as King Steve.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it,” Steve adds, “but this is just a small blip in your life. A small, insignificant blip. You feel stuck now, but you won’t be forever. You have such a bright, awesome future ahead. And you’ll find a guy who treats you wayyyy better than fucking Tyler.”

“Oh yeah?” you scoff. “Like who.”

“Doesn’t matter who.”

You look up at him, faces so close you can see every freckle and beauty mark on Steve’s cheeks. Steve has to remind himself to breathe when your nose almost touches his.

“Like you?” you whisper, the wine making you bold.

“Maybe,” he whispers back. His sincerity throws you off guard.

Your eyes pull to Steve’s lips. The urge to kiss him feels like a necessity, not just a desire.

You start to close the space between you two, but Steve pulls away. The one thought rattling in his mind is, Not now. Not like this.

“Let’s get you home, okay?” Steve says, helping you to your feet.

Embarrassment washes over you. Of course he doesn’t want you. You figured as much.

You’re unable to look any of Tyler’s friends in the eye as you clumsily exit the bustling party behind Steve.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 2nd, 1986

MY HOUSE OF STONE, YOUR IVY GROWS / AND NOW I’M COVERED IN YOU

You spend your Thursday hiding in your room, hungover and embarrassed about…well, pretty much everything. You can’t believe your drunk ass blubbered like a baby and almost kissed Steve. You have no idea if there’s a way to bounce back from that.

Steve calls your apartment a few times during the day, but you have your roommate lie and say you’re at your parent’s house.

Molly comes into your room around dinnertime and says, “You need to call Steve back. He won’t stop hogging the line. It’s getting desperate.”

You drag yourself out of bed and decide to do one better: to go see him.

When you enter the Family Video, he’s slouching behind the counter, watching St. Elmo’s Fire on the miniscule store TV. He doesn’t even look up from the movie and, in a bored monotone, says, “Hey, so we close in 15—”

“Don’t worry,” you say, “I’ll be quick.”

He straightens up and looks to you, instinctively running a hand through his hair.

“Y/N, hey!” he says. “Sorry, I thought you were a customer. I mean, you are a customer, but I thought you were a stranger—”

“No worries,” you say. You clear your throat. “I have something for you. Two somethings, actually.”

You reach into your bag and place two items on the counter: the Sixteen Candles tape you rented the other day and a square-shaped Tupperware container.

You remove the Tupperware lid and reveal a cookie cake with a message in blue icing: “I’m Sorry :( ”

Steve raises an eyebrow, looking down at the cake and then back at you.

“What are you apologizing for, exactly?” he asks, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“For last night,” you say. “I shouldn’t have gotten so wasted. And I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you. I’m really sorry, Steve.”

Something unreadable flashes across Steve’s features. He fidgets with the Sixteen Candles box.

“No, don’t apologize,” he says. “It’s fine, really.”

He doesn’t say anything else, and you don’t say anything else, and for a moment the only sound to be heard is the movie in the background.

“I can get out of your hair,” you say, “if you need to close up—”

“No!” Steve says, quicker and louder than he means to. “I mean, why don’t you stay? You made this cake, you should at least enjoy some of it. Right?”

That’s how the two of you end up sitting side-by-side on the rough carpet of the Family Video, backs leaning against the counter as you tear the cake apart with your hands.

Through the wide front windows of the store, you watch the sunset dip below the horizon, painting the bottom third of the sky purplish-pink. Higher up, the sky is a dark indigo. You imagine the view from outside almost looks like a Christmas card, the two of you housed in the cozy glow of the store, its exterior draped in half-melted snow.

Between bites of cake, you two chat about everything and nothing. It’s nice, it’s easy, it’s friendly. It’s familiar. But there’s a buzzing in your ear, a pounding in your heart, and you want nothing more than to grab Steve by the collar of his stupid polo and kiss him until you can’t breathe anymore—

“Can I ask you a hypothetical question?” you blurt out, before your mind takes you to someplace you shouldn't be.

“Shoot,” Steve says, turning to face you. You meet his eyes.

“Let’s say there’s a girl,” you say, “who likes a guy. And she’s liked him for a while.”

Steve drops the piece of cake he’s holding.

“And for a long time,” you continue, “she was too chicken to make a move, so she didn’t say anything, or do anything. But the feelings just kept growing and growing, and covering her completely, like ivy.”

Steve swallows hard. You can’t tell if the wild look in his eyes is because he’s horrified or because he feels the same. You pray it’s the latter and keep going.

“Instead of doing the smart thing and telling him how she feels,” you ramble, “she convinced herself he only saw her as a friend, so she did a really stupid thing and dated a really shitty guy, but that shitty guy’s gone, and she needs to finally tell the first guy she likes him but that’s really scary and—”

Steve’s kissing you. You're not sure exactly how it happened, not sure when he moved closer, but now he’s kissing you and it’s perfect.

He cups your face in his hands and kisses you like he’s fighting for his life. Like there’s a fire in his soul, blazing away, and you’re the only one who can tamp down the flames. Like he’s covered in ivy too, completely enamored with you.

You kiss him back, grabbing a fistful of his dorky green vest. You kiss him like nothing else matters.

“Wait,” Steve says, pulling away, cheeks flushed. “The guy in the story was me, right?”

You laugh, and Steve is convinced it’s the best sound he’s ever heard. He wants to record it on a cassette and put it in his Walkman so he can loop it all day long.

“Yes, Steve,” you say. “You’re the guy, and I’m the girl, and I’ve liked you since June.”

“I’ve got you beat,” Steve says, grinning. “I’ve liked you since Scoops employee orientation. But I thought there’s no way you’d want to be with me. I mean, you’re you.”

“Holy shit,” you say. You think of all the missed opportunities, the wasted time. “We’re idiots. The two of us? We’re actual idiots.”

You both laugh, and then Steve kisses you again. Outside the window, the sun sinks completely, leaving nothing but a crescent moon shining in the dark winter sky.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x female!reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fanfic #god i hope this does well #please reblog if you like it :)#st fic: ivy

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herowithbadpublicity · 7 months

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Who is Hal, really?

Like, we see so many different versions of him. We’re introduced to this awkward, neurotic, definitely not Mitchell, vampire in season 4. Oh cool, he has these friends he’s been with for years, that’s great!

Hal literally kept Leo chained up with the sole purpose to watch him kill people (and make money, as he mentions betting on the fight). This was actually in a prequel clip, not in the show - if you saw the clip, Hal and Leo’s relationship dynamic completely changes when we see them on screen together for the first time.

Throughout the show, Hal implores people to be his keeper, to watch him and make sure he doesn’t commit anymore sins. First Leo. In some ways, this is extremely cowardly - Hal puts the responsibility on others. If his inhibitions drop and he’s placed in just the right situation, he does awful things and can say “oh they didn’t watch me close enough”. I’m surprised Leo kept his promise - if I got free, the guy who initially kidnapped me would be getting these hands.

I really really like Hal and Annie’s dynamic. She is so opposite of him, and from the very beginning you see his discomfort. Then, when Kirby shows up, we get a scene where Hal wants to confess his sins. Part of it is because he would rather she hear it from him, but another part is something Hal does frequently - burden others with keeping him clean.

Who is Hal though? There are 3 parts of Hal. Of course there’s the awful part, that killed Cutler’s wife and who is 100% capable of becoming a genocidal dictator. Then there’s the part we see most of the time. Seemingly harmless vampire with obsessive compulsive tendencies, endearing in some way and obviously trying his best to stay out of trouble. But there’s this other part, that we only see a few times. It’s when the two overlap. There’s some glimpse of it with his prequel - he’s a “slavemaster” but he’s hesitant and ashamed, and wants to be someone else. We also know that this is the in between, as he references the cycles of bad and good Hal.

I think, living for over 500 years, Hal has had to develop a way to cope with everything he has done. There are old ones like Mr Snow who seem chill and totally fine with being menaces to society. But we SEE Hal is capable of acting without malice, of choosing to do things to keep others safe.

I propose then, that Hal, upon becoming a vampire and murdering people left and right, had at one point realized his psyche could not manage and be okay with it all. So, what better way to cope then to organize who you are. Hal is neurotic. He creates a line - bad Hal and kind Hal. It becomes black and white for him - he either goes full villain, or he is safe. He treats the bad part as another being, trying to separate his sins from who he is as a person. I suppose we can also see it as vampire Hal and Vampire Hal.

I struggle at times when trying to figure out who Hal is for real. Is this the true him, proper, neurotic, judgemental. How do these traits present in Vampire Hal. He dresses classy, he manipulates, and he harms. The judgement in this case leads to murder. Try to imagine Hal, the one awkwardly holding Eve, and when he turns Cutler. How can one man behave so contrastingly? The blood eases the anxiety and the pressure. Hal can let go, fall into habits. Without blood, he has to always be mindful.

So, other than being a story telling device; I see the Jekyll and Hyde aspect of him being a coping mechanism. He either fights the urges and the habits, vampire Hal who keeps a schedule, or, he goes full Vampire.

#just me rambling about Hal #Hal meta #that’s all over the place #he’s such a fantastic character #hal yorke #being human #being human uk

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terapsina · 6 months

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8 TV shows to get to know me

Not tagged, except indirectly by @norcumii (hi, you don't know who I am but I adore your fics).

Stargate SG-1 (*whoooooooshhh* 'Close the iris.')

Leverage ('sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get').

The Vampire Diaries (the first 3 seasons + American Gothic (I might have developed into a feminist partially out of spite and in self defense to watching this show now that I think about it)).

Charmed ('was it a demon? 😧' / 'No, it was w a t e r m e l o n 🍉😭.')

Avatar: the Last Airbender (just watch the whole thing (because it's eeeeexcellent) but keep in mind that The Southern Raiders is my favorite episode).

Buffy the Vampire Slayer ('No weapons, no friends, no hope. Take all that away and what's left?' / 'Me!')

Psych (🎶 IN BETWEEN THE LINES THERE'S A LOT OF OBSCURITY, I'M NOT INCLINED TO RESIGN TO MATURITY... 🎵)

The Pretender (honestly you can just write - miss parker the pretender - in a search engine and as soon as you get the pictures you'll probably immediately know me better).

Tagging: @vorpalmuchness, @isagrimorie and anyone else who wants to do this.

#meme #terapsina rambles #tv shows #stargate sg1 #leverage #tvd #atla #charmed #psych #btvs #the pretender

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girl4music · 9 months

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Angel: "What?"

Cordy: "What?"

Angel: "What do you want to say?"

Cordy: "Ah, me? Nothing. What makes you think I wanna..."

Angel: "'Cause I know you.”

Cordy: "Well, it's really… none of my business."

Angel: "And that always stops you?”

Cordy: “Actually, it is my business, *our* business, because we're trying to do a job here, and what affects you affects me, and anyway, I don't like to see you suffer more than you have to. I don't think you should blame yourself, or feel guilty for her death."

Angel: "I don't."

Cordy: "Good. Glad to hear it."

Angel: "I didn't even know who she was when I killed her."

Cordy: "Not her! Angel..."

Angel:

*After a beat*

“Oh... you… you want to talk about..."

Cordy: "She was the love of your life and she died.

*Angel sits down on the stairs, facing Cordy*

*Steps closer*

And you weren't there when it happened.

*Sits down next to him with a sigh*

You couldn't help her fight. You couldn't save her. You couldn't die with her."

*Angel doesn’t answer*

—————————————————————————

Cordy: "And how about you?"

Angel: "I'm o..."

Cordy: "And don't say 'okay.' Angel, please. I know you. Ever since you've come back from your grief trip I can tell that something's not right. And, and *obviously* it's not. Buffy's dead, and I don't mean to diminish that. I miss her too. I just wanna say… I know that James with all his Romeo and Juliet madness, opened up a lot of wounds for you, but you'll be okay."

Angel: "I am okay."

Cordy: "Then what's the problem?"

Angel: "That I'm okay. That losing Buffy didn't kill me. That I could deal with it. In all those years no one ever mattered. Not like she did. And now she's gone. Forever.”

Cordy: "And you're still here."

Angel: "Yeah. I just feel like I'm betraying her somehow."

Cordy: "No! If you were a loser, if you were some sick obsessed vampire, you'd go to a Snod demon, or whatever, and get your heart cut out. But you're not! You're a living, breathing... Well, living, anyway, good guy, whose still fighting and trying to help people, and that's not betraying her, that's honoring her."

Angel: "You think?"

Cordy: "I'm Cordelia. I don't think. I know. Okay?"

*Cordy gives him a big grin, which draws a small smile in response*

Angel: "Okay."

So I’m on to Season 3 of ‘Angel the Series’ and this first episode was dealing with the aftermath of Buffy’s death in Season 5 of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. How it affects Angel and specifically how he keeps the grief of his loss to himself but Cordy can see through him.

But listen - Everything I’ve just quoted above showcases how much better of a relationship Angel has with Cordy over what he ever had with Buffy. All of THIS is what a RELATIONSHIP is. The way they just know each other that they can’t lie to one another. The way Cordy draws information out of Angel like no one else can and is so perceptive in figuring him out. The way he opens up to her with a minimum amount of prodding from her. The brick wall of non-communication that was Bangel is nowhere to be seen in Cangel. This entire conversation is about Buffy specifically and what Buffy means to Angel. Yet through it I can see that were it in reverse and it was Cordy that died and it was Buffy giving this speech….

There would honestly be nowhere near the breakthrough on revealing Angel’s emotions because they’re both one in the same when it comes to communication. They both hide away from each other in moments of being in need of someone to talk to. Maybe it’s just because they have more time and purpose to do significant character interaction in Angel’s own show when it comes to drawing out information from Angel’s psyche, but I just see so much more between Angel and Cordy - just friends - then I ever saw between apparent “love of their lives” Angel and Buffy. This level of intimate relation to one another is on the level of Spuffy or Tillow. This is what you’re supposed to have in a relationship where the people in it are actual partners. Honest and open communication. Buffy and Angel never had this… really ever. I mean I brought up the interaction and conversation they had in ‘Forever’ as the only time where I truly saw Bangel as genuinely relating to one another and this was well passed their heydays.

I really love what I’m seeing in this dynamic. This is what makes Angel - the character and the show - interesting to watch. He finally has someone who KNOWS him to the point where he cannot always brood away in silence and pretend like no one cares. Because that’s not interesting to watch. It’s just sad. Thank fuck Cordelia is in this show as a main character because not only is she better for it. But she makes HIM better for it as well! That’s precisely what was needed for either of them to be considered even half as interesting of a character to me as Willow or Spike. And okay - there’s still a lot to live up to there. But it’s a start! This is what I wanted to see in Bangel but I never could because they were so incompatible when it came to being each other’s sounding board. It was like they were trying but they were never breaking through that communication barrier between them so as much of a whirlwind romance that they had - that was written… there was just nothing holding it up other than all the physical intimacy that they shared. And that’s just shallow. There was no depth to it. Not like there is with Cangel. With what I can see in them.

#angel the series #hearthrob #cangel #angel #david boreanaz #cordelia chase #charisma carpenter #relationship #communication #dynamic #character representation #character development #meta

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in1-nutshell · 17 hours

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Okay okay, enough torturing Ophelia. How about we bully one of Megatron's other kids from across the multiverse, eh?

And I have just the one in mind.

Ironhold (that's G1 Megatron's kid, right?)

First off, I was curious if you may have also had an idea for Ironheld's alt-mode?

Now, to the main course!

So, in a nutshell: during the events of the '86 movie, was Ironhold there during the battle of Autobot City, or were they elsewhere on some other Decepticon operation when they received the news of their father's "death". And going from their to season 3, what's their relationship like with their reborn father, Galvatron, as well as Cyclonus, Scourge and the Sweeps. Considering how different as people Megs and Galvatron are (despite being the same person, technically). Megatron was sadistic, megalomaniacal, and an all-round psychopathic lunatic. But Galvatron is absolute raving lunatic, impulsive with anger-managment issues to boot (lest we forget the episode in which the Decepticons sign their leader into the literal psych ward).

I was tearing up watching that movie. I want justice for how they did everyone who died dirty in that movie.

In a nutshell...

Ironhold was there on the front lines of the attack on Autobot city with their father.

They had been traveling on another ship of their own to Autobot city when they heard the massacre that happened on board the other ship.

It was horrifying to hear as they shakily landed the ship.

This wasn't how the war was supposed to end...

They found themselves once again in front of Prime ready to shoot.

Megatron saw them and was ordering them to shoot.

This wasn't how the war was supposed to end...

They don't know how, they don't know why they did it, but they dropped their weapon and helped Optimus up.

No one believes what has just happened.

Ironhold tries to persuade Megatron to hold his fire, to talk this out with them and Prime...

Ironhold didn't know what hurt more.

The look on their father's face or the pain in their fuel tank when he fired his canon.

They black out to only wake up inside Astrotrain with everyone but their father present.

Rumble has their helm on his lap with Soundwave and the minis guarding their body.

The news of Optimus and Megatron's death shook them to the core.

This wasn't how the war was supposed to end...

...

As for Galvatron, he is the reason Ironhold quits the Decepticons.

They cannot stand this version of their father.

They try to everyone else to see that this is a bad idea, but no one would listen.

Not even Rumble.

It physically pains them to leave in secret to warn the Autobots on what's to come.

It takes some time for the bots to get used to their newest member, but they have to admit, having Ironhold to the fold is one of the biggest advantages they have had so far.

This wasn't how the war was supposed to end and Ironhold was going to make sure a better ending would happen.

For Megatron.

For Optimus.

For Rumble.

#transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #g1 transformers x platonic reader #g1 transformers x reader #ironhold #nutshell summary

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piratefalls · 4 months

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Get to know me

Tagged by @kiwiana-writes!

Last song: I Knew You Were Trouble, Taylor Swift

Last film: Good Grief (2023)

Currently reading: Glitterland by Alexis Hall

Currently watching: I'm working my way through a rewatch of Psych! Currently in the first half of season 3.

Currently consuming: Water, which is my primary beverage of choice.

Currently craving: Warmth, my god. One more arctic air event like this is gonna be my supervillain origin story.

tagging: @punkrockinchairs @newyearknwwme @ejunkiet @skellytonace @skinnyscottishbloke and anyone else who wants to do it!

#about me

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brightmalcolm · 8 months

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I'm having prodigal son thoughts about the potential, lost season three now that I'm lurking your blog again. I think if they made it, they would've have had Martin die and Malcolm go on trial for it. There would have been a huge debate for the first part of the season about what charge they would hit him with ("he killed a serial killer" vs "it was self defense" vs "it's straight up murder" vs "he's a whitly"), but ultimately bc Malcolm is the Surgeon's son and some politics in the DA's office, he would've gotten charged with murder in the first degree.

Also, the murder charge would create the opportunity to have flashbacks to the Martin's original trial back in the 90s (I feel like they were holding off showing that for a reason for the first two seasons). There would be parallels between the cases, Jessica reliving everything again, Malcolm's guilt, Ainsley might be pushed to try to exploit the case as a reporter (or even start killing people (like the DA) to try to protect Malcolm), and the Martin hallucination would return.

The prosecutors may try to use Malcolm's mental health as an angle and we may possibly have gotten Malcolm spending time in a psych ward (which I would have been interested in seeing how they portray that, after my own time in one) and maybe forced to go off his meds.

Season three exists in my head. Fox can't cancel my imagination (gripping the edge of the sink as I say this)

definitely agree with this! I know a lot of the fandom says it's self defense so malcolm wouldn't get arrested (and I agree it was self defense and we as the viewer know this but no one else was with martin and malcolm when it happened) but I think it would be more interesting and dramatic from a storytelling perspective if malcolm did get in some legal trouble for what happened. also I think if they killed martin, they wouldn't want to get rid of michael sheen, so he'd be in flashbacks, like you mentioned, and I agree we'd see malcolm's hallucinations of him get worse. I can just imagine martin haunting him and telling him it was all his fault and he is just like he is now, just another killer.

I think it would be interested if they went back to what they hinted at with the FBI firing malcolm in the pilot, with people assuming malcolm must be mentally unstable and thus dangerous, and how that would influence the perspective of people who think malcolm is guilty. ainsley would try and control the narrative through the media, but that might just backfire on her to the point where she takes matters into her own hands like you said. and of course the NYPD team would support him but outside of them, the general public thinks he must be guilty, and that he and martin were somehow working together. and maybe we could finally find out about that flashback of martin guiding malcolm to stab a body in the woods during the infamous camping trip!!!

there is just so much that could be done with season 3, it's a shame it didn't get renewed but I know I'm preaching to the choir with that one :(

#answered #who-is-a-heretic-now

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