#while I'm embarrassing myself
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Soap: *slamming the door open*
Ghost, visibly startled: what the FUCK, Johnny!
Soap: shitting all by yourself, handsome?
#while I'm embarrassing myself#i might as well post this one as well#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghostsoap#soapghost#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#el rambles#incorrect cod quotes#incorrect quotes
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YAY HERE IT IS!!! 💙💕💙
Okay, so it's not the greatest most best thing in the whole entire universe, but it's SOMETHING, I dunno, very silly!!
GEHFJBDXISGBM FRANNY 😭💕💖💘💖💕💖
🦈🍋: Crush?? Whaaaat....??? No waayyy....what are you TALKING about...
#welcome home fanart#welcome home#Lemi Nayde#Welcome home oc#Franny joyful#Welcome home Franny#Julie joyful#Animation#I'm not amazing with it-#FRANNNYYYY#I LOVVEE YOUUUUU#EMBARRASSING MYSELF IN TAGS FOR YOUUU#*dies*#Hope you liked the animation 😭💙#I ate a whole box of thin mints like a raccoon on steroids yesterday#I ate them at like 11 pm or something#While scrolling through Franny Fanart EHAHEHAHHHEHAH#I need to be stopped 🦈😭
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okay last thing and i know this is easier said than done and i think it's less of final end point and more of a continuous journey but once you let go of your shame and embarrassment over the things that make you happy, you'll have a lot more fun
#on this journey right now#and i think it's going okay#as a chronically insecure person with terrible self worth LMAO i am always defaulting to: oh but people see this and it's embarrassing#but i'm learning to ask myself why i think that and where the shame comes from#maybe someone does see me fall flat on my face but i'm a human being and human beings do that#it's okay#i've done it before and i'll do it again and life will continue#generally accepted that into my every day life and working to incorporate that into writing#i have so much to say about this topic but i think at the end of the day#i will remember the fun i have sharing the things i love#more than i will remember how awkward i felt for a little while#it's okay to be embarrassed that's natural#but dont let it stop you from doing the little things that make you happy#think of your child self etc etc etc#okay goodnight love you byeeeeee#✿ shut up willow
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wait ive been reading some of these asks. do machete & vasco have a written out story? or comic? i havent seen any links on your page for something like that (unless I'm looking over em :"D) but I'd love to read/hear more if so!
Hh sorry, they have lots of story stuff planned out but it's all just rattling around in my head, there's no comic, written fiction, lore depository or anything substantial that I could direct you to. I mostly just design characters for my own enjoyment and then put them in little imaginary situations because it's a fun and inspiring thing to do.
#answered#friendofbones#this is actually kind of new to me as well I've had these guys for a long while#and have been thinking about them more or less every day for years#but until this May or so I've mostly kept it to myself because at some point I got really embarrassed and skittish about sharing oc stuff#a proper long webcomic would be the optimal way to go about dealing with this whole thing but it's a massive undertaking#I don't think it's a very feasible option I'm afraid#and I've never written fiction let alone in English which isn't my native language I'm not sure how that'd turn out#I'm sorry to disappoint you it's terribly flattering you think my character nonsense is interesting and want to learn more
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Home is where Freddy is
Chapter 1
Part 9 [First|Prev.|Next]
Support me on Ko-fi
Ok! New part and this time it's the right one XD
Tho for those who saw it already, welp I'm so sorry for that spoiler- but i still hope yall enjoy it 🥲
Also, the first panel is and most likely will be the one time i actually give Vanessa nails in the comic XD
Hands are hard man-
I dont have much else to say this time either, well i do, but i feel like it's best to leave it as it's separate post and not ruin the comic-
(Comic without dialog under cut)
Thanks for reading!!
#gaaah I'm still so embarrassed by that!#and upset too...but for other reasons other then embarrassing myself that I'll probably explain in the future#uhm i dont wanna scare anyone but i feel it should be good to give a heads-up that I'll probably post an update about the comic#an update that...isn't the comic#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#security breach#home is where freddy is#I'll admit this will probably be the last post for a while now
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Photo
This time around I thought I would make a comic relaying the events after the last time I posted, because my gosh is it easier to explain with pretty pictures than upsetting words >vO I prefer to make jokes about my situation than anything, ‘cause honestly it’s a solid way of dealing with it and I take so many medications as it is, why not add laughter to it I say! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
Despite my condition’s best efforts I still managed to organise and complete a commission with someone through emails! Thank you @waezi2 you were so patient as I arose from my grave every other day to get things done (❁´◡`❁) Fighting my body and winning to complete it was the victory I needed! The sheer satisfaction I get from a commission well received by someone is like pure nectar to me~ Sweet sustenance I just can’t get enough of! The money don’t hurt either, Disability Support Pensions do not go far in this economy 👀 This is as close as I can get to having a job and I wont let C.V.S (Cyclic vomiting Syndrome) or Chrohns take that from me!
I’m raring to dive into more if anyone’s interested ♪(´▽｀) I’m just about to post a new “commissions sheet” to broadcast that very fact >vO I do love having something to draw between Ectober pages~
#OKKennyMay#chronically ill#chrohns disease#Comic#cyclic vomiting syndrome#If you're wondering about the fire#long story short my body has little to no control over it's temperature and sometimes it tries to overheat me to death during my episodes#it makes it such a hassle constantly changing out ice packs and devouring ice only to vomit it out trying to cool it myself down physically#In a room that's colder than ice but feels like a furnace to me#all the while in a desperate and delirious haze#needless to say it's a bit of a wild time but i've got a really awesome mum who keeps me alive during these moments#I'm determined to be more honest about what's going to in my life for my own sake#i'm tired of having nightmares about people knowing details about my illness so i'm just going to rip the damn bandaid off#no matter how embarrassing or horrifying it is to relay at times I gotta do it#because i'm tired of being ashamed for things I have no control over dang it! It's not my fault my body doesn't work right >:V#hey if you read all these tags thank you#I appreciate you
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I'm back from a week-long break with my friends. Body is aching everywhere and I definitely partied too hard but the worst part is that I have to live with the fact my bestie has now a video of me completely shitfaced and having a breakdown over Felix from skz.
Not me literally sobbing over the floor and asking if Felix is okay because I love him so much and I need him to be okay.
Anyway. Guess I'm an emotional drunk and I must never accept + 10 shots of alcohol from nice strangers just because "I'm feeling surprisingly extravert" that one time.
Fucking hell.
#i'm an embarrassment to myself#at least my friends had a laugh while supporting my desperate love for felix#but still#i'm an embarrassment.#felix#skz#stray kids
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it is always kind of funny, albeit frustrating, to spend years of my life rotating particular characters and ships in my head and still worry that i'm exploring them in ooc ways. lol.
#txt#part of it is reasonable because i do worry projection gets in the way (while at the same time it can also add dimension)#and so i feel like... other people just Get those characters/ships better bc they can look at it more clearly#i also just generally don't know how people work on account of barely interacting with anyone irl and being so inexperienced at life#the other part is just... that it is such a fucking crime to write ooc these days that it's really annoying to have to worry about#obviously i want my faves to feel in-character i want my creations to be enjoyable but also... i don't think it should matter#as much as people make it matter sometimes#and so then all of the above all wrapped together then creates another issue of: people know me as a person who is#obsessed with this character/ship#how embarrassing is it to be known as that person but still write them that badly jl;sldjfklskd#AGAIN IT SHOULDN'T MATTER I SHOULD BE ABLE TO JUST HAVE FUN WITH IT but ough i really...#hate that piece regarding writing#with drawing i can visibly see when a character doesn't look like themselves#but with writing it's so mental and hard to put myself outside of i feel like i'm just reaching around in the dark at all times#and i kinda hate that :|#if it is that much of an issue for me i should rly open myself up to concrit and so forth but y'know#two wolves inside you: wanting to be good at this thing i do for fun vs. also... doing it for fun....#i guess fandom being so social is what underlines it all as so dire for me#maybe if it were just a piece of writing i flung out into the void rather than attaching it to myself and my personality and fandom presence#it wouldn't feel so life or death lol#oh to be the kind of person that is never active bc they put all their time into creating#they drop one creation a month and say nothing until they drop the next one
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Just some more Enderal shitposts.
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(Part One)
#enderal#enderal forgotten stories#vynblr#shitposting#jade the prophetess#calia sakaresh#dijaam onêlys#jespar dal'varek#zar'ah#cw: depression#cw: suicide mention#cw: mild nudity#i imagine jade just saying the “mourning wood” comment while enroute to the aged man's manor#not realizing she said it out loud#and jespar behind her being like “excuse me???”#but yeah i put way too much time and effort into these than i should have#i'm embarrassed with myself#please do not perceive me#i am cringe but i am free
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hm. feeling annoying and embarrassing to be around today. dont like that.
#/vent#/personal#pls ignore if you're in a good mood i do Not want to be a bummer#dyou ever like... swing violently between extroverted and introverted??#idk i feel like that's the only way i can explain it#while i'm in an extroverted mood my anxiety makes it feel like i'm on a rollercoaster#like pushing myself onto the ride (being social) is hooorrible but i've learned that it's worth it in the end and i have fun#but then when i swing back to feeling more introverted it's like#suddenly the most dramatic fucking crash#and every interaction i've ever had makes me feel sick to think about#even the good ones somehow#and i'm embarrassed about the fact i exist#like i feel annoying and embarrassing 24/7 even on good days but on bad days it's like it's eating my body from the inside out#wish i had a normal brain hahaaaa#uggh. anyway. sorry for this but what use is a tumblr blog if you don't document your decent into insanity.
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beep boop I am on the verge of finalizing this Gator ficlet, and I am so afraid to post it, honestly. Terrified.
#I just feel like#what if it's not good enough#because I've been so inspired by other gator stories and I feel like I'm not really like....a storyteller u know?#I just write stuff so people can mindfuck their faves#and while I definitely love it when other people do that#for some reason mine feels like background noise and embarrassment lol#I think I am just really struggling with my writing ability and having confidence in myself lately idk#depression swallows my self esteem whole fr#anyways hi
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sorry to everyone who's been missing me/waiting for something from me, i've been slipping in and out of depressive fog for a week or two (and in general have experienced significantly worse depression than normal for a couple years, but that’s another story)
i long to get back, too; a lot of things to read and ideas to write and people to talk to. love y'all, take care
#signed: vika's ghost#also i've caught a cold so there's that too#terribly sorry for being overdramatic i'm just... tired of being tired and i wanted to talk about it a little bit#it's very important for me to talk about everything that's wrong with me. i tend to avoid that but now i'm trying to learn and to make peace#creative drive and ability to hold thought-out conversations keep slipping out of my graps and it kinda hurts more#— in a good cathartic sort of way but painful nonetheless — to remember what they felt like at all#i miss wanting to work on my wip and i miss having the attention span to write out headcanon and i miss having headcanons#and i miss talking to my fandom friends#(i did it just last week but i already miss it. it's one of the things i'd like to be able to do every day)#and i miss the ability to connect with art and i miss the ability to focus on written word and i miss commenting#and i miss discussing ideas and i miss interacting and i miss having fun. god i just miss having fun.#kp my apologies for not making much progress on bb&b; myself my apologies for not writing any of my other wips or outlines or posts;#da gc gang my apologies for not following up on any of the things; every fic writer whose work ended up in my to-read pile IM SORRY#jack & kp specifically i love your stuff#also jack my apologies for taking a While; & the rd gc apologies for never writing out any of the cool au thoughts i'd had after some point#really，i've been meaning to. everything requires way too much effort. everyone is so fun and i miss having fun#take care，remember me fondly，i'll be back，please stand by#if tomorrow morning i find this embarrassing i'll chalk it up to a fever or something.#idc i'm allowed to have it. world won't blow up if i'm embarrassing on the internet once or twice or honestly even forever#vikarambles#vent
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your talks about knowing if someone is a fictive or not is fucking hilarious because like- for us SPECIFICALLY I’m essentally front personified and thus the perm fronter and front gatekeeper as of now but like!!!- for us we operate a lot on what we can (phantom) feel, hear or see- like yeah it’s not most clear but like- suddenly feeling picked up or splatted against a wall but not SEEING it happen to the body and KNOWING it’s not happening to your body is a REAL FAST reality check, drawing something and suddenly feeling like there’s wires under your skin shocking you half to death bc youmanaged to actually draw a brain buddy without realizing even more so.
would recomend checking to see if the voices register as “not yours” or “in another language”- even if you register the words and language if it doesn’t FEEL like what you know as yours/body’s you should check shit out- we primarily use body’s voice or I’m limited to it- however I DO register the spanish and such languages at times and I can 10000% tell you that juanaflippa threatened someone with a gun bc she didn’t want to see a “not my mate” throwing themself on me and I 1000% registered those words as rusian despite body being english only and the voice she had at her disposal as ONLY the body’s voice.
idk if any of this will help anyone but it MIGHT be more aproachable to ask them to say/do something a certain way involving your senses and check that way than other methods,,
AGH THATS SO TRUE. this is nicer than me going "annoy them" BAHAHA
#ask#anon#reminds me of when Sal got stabbed inspace and then when he fronted the pain carried over to our IRL body#psychosomatic pain is a bitch#sorry i swear a lot btw if you guys would prefer i do not then i can censor myself more in the future#from susie#Also this is less of a 'do they exist' exercise and more of just me sharing but:#speaking of languages this reminds me of when Kurapika would front they actually speak with an accent that you know is from Japanese#and its a nightmare when they learn new words theyve never heard of because#if they have NEVER HEARD or seen it before they will READ it in their accent#and its like. ok thats normal right? its not hurting anyone?#but the reason its a nightmare is because he fronts a LOT. and it RUBS OFF on the front so like#all of sudden we're pronouncing Simon Petrikov's name wrong (Peterikovu)#and were SO EMBARRASSEd...#also our body is ASIAN (Filipino) and currently live in Asia please do not assume I'm white while I tell that story lol#anyway thats Anecdotes With Susie#btw we love Kurapika and he is so valid for this#i tell the story bc its funny that this happens involuntarily#he masks/catches himself when hes in public though
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sometimes, you come up with a rare ship because you figure their interactions or their overall themes mesh together really well, or maybe they're a relationship that's mostly off-screen and tragically underexplored, so you decide to take matters into your own paws hands and fix that.
and sometimes you just think of something completely non-serious involving them, and it ends up haunting you for the rest of your fandom career.
#this is about ranka/yuna/the bat#technically i had two things inspire this but it was almost entirely the joke#1) vampire/werewolf/vampire sort of vibe#2) [while staring up at the ceiling at an ungodly hour of the morning] 'what happens if two vampires bite you at the same time'#this is a little embarrassing to put up; at least with these tags exposing myself#so this will be deleted before i go to bed (hopefully soon)#i haven't had very serious thoughts about these three in a while. but i still think of them sometimes. i hope i don't jinx myself with this#(knock knock knocking on wood)#(to clarify; as an ot3. i've got serious bat/ranka and bat/yuna brainworms; and yuna/ranka is thought of less but still occasionally)#my only fuel for that is ranka's quote about how yuna spoils her alongside the other pb girls#okay that's all i'm leaving before i embarrass myself more with my niche ships#goooooodnight#if you see this post; no you don't
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sui tw (nothing to actually worry abt dw fjdkdl)
also one more vent but it is baffling to me that there are people in the world who aren't suicidal rn. i just keep looking at the state of everything and i think about the fact that food is becoming unaffordable and then remember how stressed i am every time i have to get groceries, and I just keep feeling like maybe it's time to give up. how the fuck is anyone not struggling to convince themselves it is worth it to be alive right now (i am envious of them). i wish i could go even just one day without having to forcibly shove down or just pointedly ignore the gnawing feeling of doom and hopelessness and subsequent urge to off myself fjfkdl
#i was doing so well for a while 😭😭 what the fuck happened !!!!#i wish i could get back to whatever mental place I was in when i was like... actually feeling stable#i feel like ever since the end of february I've just been very unstable and struggling and idk why#its embarrassing honestly. humiliating kind of. like i can see that I'm being insane and off-putting but I can't seem to stabilize myself#or at least not for any meaningful amount of time. i get like maybe a day's reprieve or maybe two days if im lucky#and then im back on shaky ground and cannot scramble back up to stability for a while#this is so frustrating fjfjdkl like... what is going on. what happened. why can't i just be normal for a while fjfkdl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide tw
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maybe I do secretly have all these
-tier headcanons about Coluan development, Brainiac's aging, reason for their species-wide asshole personality but it's insane
#it's not 2009 anymore I can embarrass myself online whenever I want. But I'm also not like.. 10 I have self control. I do!#the entire reason I read any of this was to obsess about Coluans im not even#but in the process I also decided to obsess over Winath I have about 4843 headcanons about that culture too#random text#brainrot's back I should see myself out (of the fandom for like. a week)#but I haven't read HoB yet... I haven't been in the mood for comics in a while
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