okay last thing and i know this is easier said than done and i think it's less of final end point and more of a continuous journey but once you let go of your shame and embarrassment over the things that make you happy, you'll have a lot more fun
wait ive been reading some of these asks. do machete & vasco have a written out story? or comic? i havent seen any links on your page for something like that (unless I'm looking over em :"D) but I'd love to read/hear more if so!
Hh sorry, they have lots of story stuff planned out but it's all just rattling around in my head, there's no comic, written fiction, lore depository or anything substantial that I could direct you to. I mostly just design characters for my own enjoyment and then put them in little imaginary situations because it's a fun and inspiring thing to do.
This time around I thought I would make a comic relaying the events after the last time I posted, because my gosh is it easier to explain with pretty pictures than upsetting words >vO I prefer to make jokes about my situation than anything, ‘cause honestly it’s a solid way of dealing with it and I take so many medications as it is, why not add laughter to it I say! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
Despite my condition’s best efforts I still managed to organise and complete a commission with someone through emails! Thank you @waezi2 you were so patient as I arose from my grave every other day to get things done (❁´◡`❁) Fighting my body and winning to complete it was the victory I needed! The sheer satisfaction I get from a commission well received by someone is like pure nectar to me~ Sweet sustenance I just can’t get enough of! The money don’t hurt either, Disability Support Pensions do not go far in this economy 👀 This is as close as I can get to having a job and I wont let C.V.S (Cyclic vomiting Syndrome) or Chrohns take that from me!
I’m raring to dive into more if anyone’s interested ♪(´▽`) I’m just about to post a new “commissions sheet” to broadcast that very fact >vO I do love having something to draw between Ectober pages~
I'm back from a week-long break with my friends. Body is aching everywhere and I definitely partied too hard but the worst part is that I have to live with the fact my bestie has now a video of me completely shitfaced and having a breakdown over Felix from skz.
Not me literally sobbing over the floor and asking if Felix is okay because I love him so much and I need him to be okay.
Anyway. Guess I'm an emotional drunk and I must never accept + 10 shots of alcohol from nice strangers just because "I'm feeling surprisingly extravert" that one time.
it is always kind of funny, albeit frustrating, to spend years of my life rotating particular characters and ships in my head and still worry that i'm exploring them in ooc ways. lol.
sorry to everyone who's been missing me/waiting for something from me, i've been slipping in and out of depressive fog for a week or two (and in general have experienced significantly worse depression than normal for a couple years, but that’s another story)
i long to get back, too; a lot of things to read and ideas to write and people to talk to. love y'all, take care
your talks about knowing if someone is a fictive or not is fucking hilarious because like- for us SPECIFICALLY I’m essentally front personified and thus the perm fronter and front gatekeeper as of now but like!!!- for us we operate a lot on what we can (phantom) feel, hear or see- like yeah it’s not most clear but like- suddenly feeling picked up or splatted against a wall but not SEEING it happen to the body and KNOWING it’s not happening to your body is a REAL FAST reality check, drawing something and suddenly feeling like there’s wires under your skin shocking you half to death bc youmanaged to actually draw a brain buddy without realizing even more so.
would recomend checking to see if the voices register as “not yours” or “in another language”- even if you register the words and language if it doesn’t FEEL like what you know as yours/body’s you should check shit out- we primarily use body’s voice or I’m limited to it- however I DO register the spanish and such languages at times and I can 10000% tell you that juanaflippa threatened someone with a gun bc she didn’t want to see a “not my mate” throwing themself on me and I 1000% registered those words as rusian despite body being english only and the voice she had at her disposal as ONLY the body’s voice.
idk if any of this will help anyone but it MIGHT be more aproachable to ask them to say/do something a certain way involving your senses and check that way than other methods,,
AGH THATS SO TRUE. this is nicer than me going "annoy them" BAHAHA
sometimes, you come up with a rare ship because you figure their interactions or their overall themes mesh together really well, or maybe they're a relationship that's mostly off-screen and tragically underexplored, so you decide to take matters into your own paws hands and fix that.
and sometimes you just think of something completely non-serious involving them, and it ends up haunting you for the rest of your fandom career.
also one more vent but it is baffling to me that there are people in the world who aren't suicidal rn. i just keep looking at the state of everything and i think about the fact that food is becoming unaffordable and then remember how stressed i am every time i have to get groceries, and I just keep feeling like maybe it's time to give up. how the fuck is anyone not struggling to convince themselves it is worth it to be alive right now (i am envious of them). i wish i could go even just one day without having to forcibly shove down or just pointedly ignore the gnawing feeling of doom and hopelessness and subsequent urge to off myself fjfkdl