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shmaptainwrites · 3 months

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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐑 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x single mom!Reader

SUMMARY — James moves into a new apartment and finds a new friend in his neighbour across the hall

WARNINGS — mild descriptions of blood and injury, hospitals/hospitalization, a little angst and hurt comfort

NOTE — Guys this was supposed to be out Monday, I am so sorry, life is just not life-ing (ie. its midterm season) so enjoy this being posted as I am fighting for my life in cell bio. Also this has only been minorly edited by me so if there's any weird wording ot typos I apologize in advance

If no one had told you someone was moving into the apartment across the hall from you, you probably would have gone months without noticing anyone in there. You weren’t sure if your schedules were just not in sync or maybe he never really left his place. Regardless, it took at least two months before you met your new neighbour.

When you did, it was a coincidence. You were leaving and he was coming back home.

You both paused and stared at each other for a moment before rushing to introduce yourselves, only to accidentally talk over each other.

After you both stopped, he motioned for you to go first. You gave him your name and made a stupid comment about how you hadn’t met until now. Maybe it wasn’t stupid because he laughed, or maybe he was just being nice.

“I’m James,” he said. “And about not seeing me, well it probably doesn’t help that I leave at the crack of dawn and usually come back late.”

“Oh, let me guess, doctor?” you asked and he nodded. “It was either that or day-shift stripper so I figured my odds were pretty good.”

That made him laugh again and you smiled.

“I hope you rest well before your next shift. Unfortunately, I have to head out. Duty calls.”

“I’ll see you around,” he gave you a small three-fingered wave which you returned before jogging down the stairs.

You didn’t think you’d have much reason to see him again, but accidents do happen.

You knew sometimes you’d have the tendency to be a bit clumsy, but this was beyond that. Dropping your knife down next to the half cut vegetables, you looked around for something to wrap your hand in to stop the bleeding.

You thought about your options, you could call an ambulance and pay the ridiculous fee, you could drive yourself to the ER and risk getting into an accident, or you could knock on your neighbour’s door and hope he was home.

You sprung for option three, seeing as it was most immediate.

Opening your door, barely even bothering to close it behind you, you knocked on James’ door, praying that he was home and would be able to help.

It seemed as though your prayers were answered because you heard the lock click and the door open to a very confused looking James.

“I am so sorry to bother you,” you started, “but I was making dinner and the knife slipped-,”

“You cut yourself,” he filled in the blanks himself and you nodded, biting down on your tongue from the pain. “Come in, let me see if I can get you sorted.”

He opened his door wider and you stepped into his apartment, an identical layout to yours, but differing in decor and furniture.

He pulled back a chair at his small dining table for you to sit at and went to another room to grab something.

He came back with a first aid kit and sat down in the chair next to you, opening the kit and grabbing a few things he knew he would need before pulling back the towel you had wrapped your hand in and examining the cut.

“Wow, this is really deep,” he remarked. “You must be in a lot of pain.”

“Yeah, trying really hard not to pay attention to it right now,” you nodded through gritted teeth.

“Look, I don’t have a lot of stuff with me, but I think this lidocaine numbing spray should help a bit, but it will sting first,” he warned you and you nodded.

He used the spray and you winced, but just as he said the pain slowly dissipated and soon all you could feel was a dull ache. He started by cleaning the wound and flushing it with some water and alcohol.

“So what were you cooking?” he asked.

“Trying to make just some chicken and potatoes, but of course my hand and the knife decide to slip at the same time,” you sighed.

He pulled out a needle and some surgical thread next, determining what the best way to stitch you up was.

“Do this often?” you asked.

“Unfortunately for you, no I don’t,” he shook his head. “I work in oncology so I have to think a little harder about my stitching.”

“As long as it’s free, take all the time you need,” you joked.

“Oh, no one told you, my rate is 500$ a minute, I take cash or cheque,” he teased right back and you chuckled a bit.

“How about I do you a favour when you need it and we call it even?” you asked and he nodded his head.

“Seems equivalent. Alright, you’re gonna feel a light pinch,” he said and saw your face contort in discomfort and he quickly apologized.

He tried to do the stitching as quickly as possible, and then covered it up with gauze and tape to make sure the stitches were protected.

“You should probably come by again tomorrow so I can take a look and make sure everything’s okay and it isn’t infected,” he said. “I should be back around six.”

“Sure, thanks again for this. It’s handy having a doctor next door,” you smiled. “Now I should probably go and clean all the blood off my counters and order something to eat.”

“Hey, why don’t you just have a plate of food here before you go back?” James suggested. “I made extra.”

“You sure? You already stitched me up and now you want me to eat your food?”

“It’ll be nice company,” he assured you. “Unless you have someone you need to get back to.”

“No, it’s just me right now,” you nodded. “I’ll stay, the blood can wait.”

James served you a plate of the food he had made before grabbing his half-eaten dinner and joining you again at the dining room table.

“So, um, you know what I do for work first hand now,” James started. “What about yourself?”

“I like to say I’m a constant student of the world’s universal language,” you smiled to yourself, “but people don’t really know what I mean by that so usually stick to saying I’m a professor of mathematics.”

“Wow,” James looked impressed. “You don’t really look like a math professor. All of mine were a little…crazy. I never would have guessed.”

“Unfortunately not everyone can have Einstein’s hair,” you joked and James laughed.

“Do you teach at Princeton then?” he asked and you nodded. “What a coincidence. I work at the teaching hospital.”

“Oh, you must know Lisa then,” you grinned. “She’s a good friend of mine.”

James nodded, “Such a small world.”

“You’re telling me.”

You continued to eat dinner and chat about various things, most pertaining to the school or your mutual connection through Lisa. By the end of the evening, when you wished him a good night and went back over to your apartment, a part of you was happy your hand would give you an excuse to see your neighbour once more.

—

James stared blankly at his fridge wondering how he’d managed to go this long without buying any groceries. He could just eat out and put off shopping for another day, but he had time off and he probably should take advantage of it.

Without much more thought, he grabbed his house key and his coat, deciding to go to the grocery store just down the street, it would be a nice walk in the afternoon sun. When he opened his door, he saw you standing outside with a few empty grocery bags in hand.

“You heading down to the store?” he asked and you nodded with a smile.

“You too?”

“I don’t have the hardware,” he pointed to your bags. “But the fridge is empty, so yeah, I figured it was about time to do a grocery run. How’s your hand doing?”

“A lot better than last week. Thanks for asking,” you looked down at your bandaged palm. “Excited to be able to take this off.”

Just as James was about to say goodbye and wish you a good rest of your afternoon, your door opened and a young girl stepped out.

“Mom, I can’t do up my zipper, it keeps getting stuck,” she grumbled.

“Here, let me give you a hand with that,” you bent down and put the grocery bags to the side, helping her out with the finicky zipper. “Maybe we need to get you a new jacket, this one’s starting to get a bit tight, huh?”

The girl nodded and thanked you for your help by giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“Mom, who’s that?” she pointed to James and you chuckled a little.

“I was just about to introduce you two,” you said. “Nadia, this is James, James this is Nadia. My daughter.”

“Nice to meet you, Nadia,” James waved and she waved back.

“Are you friends with my mom?” she asked.

“I-I think so,” James nodded.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” you agreed.

“If he’s your friend can he come over for dinner tonight?” Nadia asked.

You looked in between your daughter and James once a few times before saying,

“You know, I think it’s his day off, I’m not too sure if he had plans already.”

James shoved his hand in his pockets and asked,

“And what if I don’t have plans?”

You bit back a small smile, “Then I would say, do you want to come get groceries and have dinner with us tonight?”

“I’d love to.”

“Nice,” Nadia grinned. “That means we get dessert.”

You scoffed and looked down at your daughter, “Is that what this was all about?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged her shoulders innocently and you shook your head, locking the door behind you and beginning to walk down the stairs, Nadia leading the way and James at your side.

“You never mentioned you had a daughter,” James said quietly while you walked down the sidewalk, Nadia running ahead to press the button for the crosswalk.

“Never came up,” you shrugged. “She was with her dad both times you saw me before.”

“She’s cute,” James said simply. “Looks a lot like her mom.”

“Thanks,” you smiled, trying to ignore the warm feeling rising up in your cheeks.

You watched as Nadia came running back up to you both and tapped James on the arm.

“Do you like apple crumble and ice cream?” she asked.

“I do,” James nodded. “I used to make it with my mom when I was around your age.”

“My mom makes it with me too,” Nadia grinned. “Can we have that for dessert tonight?”

“Sure, if they have the granny smith apples, if not maybe we can make a peach cobbler instead,” you suggested and Nadia agreed, taking your hand and dragging you towards the store so you could get the ingredients faster.

You and James did your shopping in parallel and would both send Nadia on small quests to retrieve some things you needed to keep her busy.

“You’re pretty good with kids,” you commented after he had told Nadia about her next ‘top secret mission’.

“Comes a bit with the job,” he said, sifting through the peppers on the produce stand to find a few good ones. “It’s nice to be reminded every once in a while that not all kids are going through treatment.”

“I don’t know how you’d be able to see that every day,” you shook your head and sighed. “I would be a wreck if Nadia was in the hospital.”

“Well, let’s hope that never happens.”

“James! I got the berries!” Nadia came speeding back and handed him the basket of strawberries before taking a moment to catch her breath.

“Wow, that was fast,” he grinned. “Come on, I think it’s about time we go pay for all this stuff.”

You weren’t sure whether it was slight of hand or if James had an in with the cashier, but he managed to pay for the groceries, insisting it was just paying for dinner, so to even it out you slipped 50$ to the cashier to pay for his things.

“It’s not really letting me pay for dinner if you just pay for my stuff too,” he teased you as you walked home.

“If you’re really that set on paying me back you can come help me and Nadia cook. Maybe make sure I don’t cut my hand again,” you waved your bandaged hand in the air.

“Alright,” he conceded. “I’ll be over as soon as I drop these off.”

When you got home, you and Nadia quickly cleared up a few of her toys from the living room and a few minutes later, as expected, James’ knock echoed through the apartment. Nadia beat you to the door and grabbed James’ hand, bringing him to the kitchen and shutting the door behind them.

“Since you know how to make the crumble you can wash and peel the apples,” Nadia instructed.

“Is this okay with mom?” James asked.

“I’ve tried your cooking before, it’s okay with me,” you nodded. “Nadia, hon, do you want to help with the salad? Like I taught you?”

She nodded her head and went to wash her hands quickly before standing up on a stool so she could reach the counter and cut the vegetables.

“Be very careful with the knife, okay? Don’t make the same mistake mom did otherwise James is gonna start asking for our medical insurance,” you teased and Nadia gave you the classic,

“I know, I know. I’ve done this like a million times.”

“Well, let’s make it a million and one without accidents,” James added and you mouthed a thank you to him.

Nadia was chopping away and bossing all of you around like she was head chef at a restaurant, all the while interrogating James about his work at the hospital and how he ended up in the apartment across the hall.

“Where did you live before?” she asked.

“Uh, kind of close to where your mom works,” he said. “In a house with a nice apple tree in the front yard.”

“So why did you move to an apartment then?”

James chuckled. “Good question. I um, I used to be married, but I’m not anymore so I decided to move somewhere different.”

“Like mom and dad,” Nadia nodded her head in understanding.

“Yeah, a bit like your mom and dad, I guess,” he agreed. “Do you like it in this building?”

“Yeah,” Nadia nodded. “And mom cooks better than dad, but don’t tell him that.”

“It’ll be our little secret,” James winked and finished mixing the apples with cinnamon, sugar, and a few other spices and ingredients.

Dinner was ready within the next hour and dessert followed soon after, much to Nadia’s excitement.

“Okay, moment of truth,” James sucked some air through his teeth as he served Nadia a plate with some ice cream on the side.

She dug into it and put on her best thinking face before giving a big thumbs up and a smile.

“Phew,” James sat back down in his seat and Nadia giggled at his exaggeration. He finished serving you and himself before putting the ice cream back in your freezer so it wouldn’t melt.

“So, did you enjoy your day off?” you asked.

“More than I was expecting to,” he nodded. “Thank you guys for having me over.”

“Maybe you can come again next time I’m back with mom?” Nadia suggested. “Can we have dinner with James?”

“I mean, if he wants to I have no objection,” you agreed with her.

“I’ll mark it in my calendar.”

Nadia quietly celebrated and said something about having dessert every time and you gave her a warning look that only encouraged her to continue to be cheeky.

Dessert was followed by a sugar rush, and crash and while Nadia snored on the couch you were saying goodbye to James and thanking him for spending the day.

“She really likes you,” you looked over at your sleeping daughter on the couch.

“Feeling’s mutual,” he smiled softly.

“You know, if you ever want company or a friend, my door’s always open,” you told him. “Even if it’s just someone to sit in silence with you at the end of a long day.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“And I’m sorry about your divorce,” you said. “If I can say one thing it’s just that it gets better. Eventually.”

He nodded his head and gave you a sad smile.

“Helps when you have a friend who understands,” he patted your arm and wished you goodnight walking across the hall and disappearing behind the door.

—

The couch was your favourite place to grade assignments and midterms. Final exams needed something a little more substantial considering how long they’d take when you didn’t have a teaching assistant helping you.

You didn’t know how many cups of coffee you’d gone through when you heard the knock on your door.

“It’s James,” you heard through the other side. “A little birdy told me you were stuck grading all day.”

“Come in,” you called back and he opened the unlocked door and slipped inside, coming to join you on the couch.

“I brought you a pick me up but I see that may send you into cardiac arrest,” he looked over at your many mugs littering the table.

“I have a weird thing about making coffee in the same cup,” you shook your head. “And I will take that,” you grabbed the to-go mug out of his hands, taking a sip of the piping hot drink. “God, sometimes when I’m writing these tests I forget I have to grade them too.”

James chuckled and looked over at the papers laid out on the coffee table.

“Why don’t you take a short break. No one expects you to get all the exams back the day after midterms,” he said.

“Yeah, but my TA expects me to grade all the long proofs so that they can do their part and grade the short answer stuff,” you sighed. “But you’re right I should take a break before I start taking marks off for using a weird letter as a variable, or something more complicated than that, I don’t know I can barely think straight anymore.”

James took the coffee and midterm out of your hands, putting them on the table, letting you lean back further into the couch and close your eyes for two seconds.

“Is Nadia with her dad?” he asked.

“Yeah, visiting her grandparents,” you nodded. “I hope they don’t fill her head with too much nonsense.”

James looked at you a little confused so you explained further, “They hated me, don’t know why. Maybe because they expected Mike to have a stay at home wife, but after we graduated I wanted more.”

“So you went to get your master’s and doctorate,” James filled in and you nodded.

“They thought I was trying to make their son look stupid, but they grossly overestimated my motives,” you chuckled humourlessly. “I’m just really nerdy and like math. I wanted to learn more so I did.”

“And what did your ex think?” he asked.

“Mike…he’s an interesting guy,” you shrugged. “I don’t think he’s a bad person, he was just a bad husband for me. He’s a decent dad, he’s there for Nadia, but he wasn’t there for me when I needed him to be.” you shared. “What about you? What went wrong there?”

“The first time or the second?” he asked with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No kids I’m guessing,” you said and he shook his head.

“First time, I was working two jobs to keep us afloat while she was at an unpaid internship. We both had terrible communication skills, and shouldn't have been married in the first place. The second time, I think I screwed that one up.”

He ran a hand through his hair before letting both his hands rest in his lap.

“Marriage is hard as hell,” you sighed. “I mean I wasn’t much of a picnic for Mike either.”

“You don’t have to try and make me feel better,” he assured you. “Although I appreciate the sentiment.”

“I’m serious. A marriage goes two ways and yeah sure, one person can screw up bigger than the other, but it’s not that one person is perfect and the other isn’t,” you said.

James pursed his lips and leaned forward, his arms resting against his legs. He wished it was that simple.

“Okay, my goal was not to bring down the mood,” James finally said. “This was supposed to be a fun work break.”

“I hate to tell you you’re failing miserably at the fun part,” you teased.

“Alright, then tell me why you decided to study math, of all the things you could have learnt about, why did math speak to you the most?”

“Katherine Johnson,” you said and yawned, rubbing your eyes. “I read about her in some random book in the library and I realized that numbers are what make everything in the world work. If she could send a rocket ship to space using math, then she had a superpower and I wanted a taste of it.”

“Did you get a taste of it?”

“Did my master’s degree research while jointly working with NASA, so yeah, I did,” you nodded with a smile. “And unfortunately, I have to use that superpower to finish grading these. You can stay if you want, I don’t mind.”

James looked at his watch and sighed,

“I have a meeting scheduled with the hospital board tomorrow morning. I should probably go get some sleep. Don’t stay up too late, okay?”

You patted his leg and assured him you’d be in bed within the next few hours whether you liked it or not. Your body probably wouldn’t let you stay up any longer.

James gave your hand a gentle squeeze and said goodnight, showing himself out.

—

The sound of the phone ringing echoed through the house and you called for Nadia to pick it up, busy washing dishes. When she didn’t respond, you sighed to yourself and quickly turned off the water, wiping your hands and going to pick the phone up yourself.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s James.”

“James, what’s up? Aren’t you still at work?” you asked, looking over at the clock.

“That’s actually what I’m calling about, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make dinner this week,” he said. “Something’s come up and I’m going to be here late.”

“Oh that’s too bad. We’ll just have to reschedule,” you assured him.

“Can you put Nadia on the line? I wanted to apologize to her myself.”

“Sure,” you chuckled and called Nadia again. She came out of her room, rubbing her eyes and you told her James was on the phone asking for her. She took the phone from you and said hello, talking to James for a short while. You could see she was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to make it, but you heard him promise to make it up to her with a movie night one weekend instead.

“Bye James,” she said and nodded her head in response to something he said before hanging up. “He says bye to you too.”

“Thanks honey,” you patted her back. “Are you feeling okay?” you asked. “You’re looking a little tired.”

“I feel tired,” she confirmed. “Can I go take a nap?”

“Sure,” you rubbed her back. “Do you want me to come and stay with you?”

“I’m okay right now,” she yawned.

You nodded your head and watched her make her way back to her bedroom. That evening you had a quiet dinner, deciding maybe to make soup in case Nadia was coming down with something. She didn’t have much of an appetite, only eating half of her bowl before beginning to cough, one of those deep chest coughs that made you feel a little worried.

You quickly got her changed in her pyjamas and had her sleep in your bed for the night so you could keep a close eye on her.

Your instincts that something was wrong ended up being right, as Nadia woke up with a continuing cough in the middle of the night and she felt hot to the touch.

“Nadia, honey are you going to be okay here for two minutes? I’m gonna go see if I can get some help,” you said and she nodded her head while continuing to cough.

Quickly, you ran over to James’ place and knocked on the door, an arm wrapped around your stomach while you chewed on your fingernails.

James opened the door wearing a college t-shirt and sweatpants, immediately taking in your concerned features and asking what was wrong.

“Nadia got sick and I think she’s getting worse,” you bit your tongue. “I’m so sorry to wake you up, but could you come check on her for me?”

“Of course,” James nodded, placing a hand on your back as he stepped out of his apartment, closing the door behind him and walking back to yours.

You led him over to your room where Nadia was laying down and he took a seat next to her on the bed and placed his hand on her arm, letting her know he was there.

“James?” she coughed.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he gave her a soft smile. “I heard you weren’t feeling too good.”

She nodded her head.

“Is it okay if I do a quick check up to see what’s wrong?” he asked and she nodded again, letting him help her sit up.

He first touched her forehead with the back of his hand to feel her temperature and then placed his ear to her chest to listen to her breathing.

“Thanks, Nadia, you can lay back down now while I talk to your mom, okay? Try and stay on your side, it'll help with the cough.”

James motioned for you to follow him just outside of the room so he could tell you what he thought was going on.

“I think she’s caught some kind of bug that’s causing pneumonia,” he said. “Her breathing didn’t sound too great so I think it’s a safe bet to take her to the hospital, but I’d say you still have time to pack a bag with a few things and I can get Nadia ready and drive you guys.”

“James, you don’t have to do that,” you shook your head. “I already woke you up and-,”

“I insist,” he said. “You walk with me into that ER and I’m allowed to boss around the nurses and call the best doctor in pediatrics.”

“Okay,” you nodded your head and took a shaky deep breath. “She’s gonna be okay, r-right?”

“They’ll give her an antiviral or antibiotic and keep her for a few nights to make sure it doesn’t get worse and before you know it she’ll be good as new.”

You chewed on your lip and went to go pack a bag with a few of your things and Nadia’s while James helped Nadia get out of bed and into some shoes and a warm jacket with a hat so the cold air didn’t bite at her.

“Are you coming with us?” Nadia asked James after a string of coughs.

“Sure am,” he nodded. “I’m gonna drive and your mom’s gonna sit in the back with you.”

“Why do we have to go to the hospital?” she asked.

“Well, sometimes when we get sick at night that’s the fastest way to see a doctor and get the right medicine to get better,” James explained, opening his arms up for Nadia to climb into them to he could carry her to the car just as you had come out with a packed duffle bag.

“We can take your car,” you said. “I’ll find my way back tomorrow to get mine.”

James nodded his head and quickly went into his place to grab his keys and lock the door behind him.

He drove as fast as he could while still being within the speed limit, keeping an eye on his rearview mirror, seeing Nadia huddled up into your side.

“Mom, my chest hurts,” Nadia blinked back a few tears.

“Hold on, hon, we’re almost there,” you squeezed onto her a little tighter.

James pulled into the ER parking lot and grabbed Nadia while you got your things, walking into the hospital together.

“Dr. Wilson, what are you doing here?” one of the nurses asked, confused.

“I’ve got a young girl, seven-years-old with pneumonia symptoms, we should get her on oxygen, do a test for bacterial and viral infections, and get a chest x-ray as soon as possible. And call Dr. Herberts, tell her I’m calling in my favour,” he instructed while placing Nadia down on one of the beds. “Nadia, this is my friend Alice,” he motioned to one of the nurses, “She’s gonna be with you while we figure out what’s going on.”

“What about you?” she asked while James grabbed the oxygen mask from one of the nurses.

“Your mom and I need to deal with a few other things before we can come be with you, but I promise Alice is going to take really good care of you. She’s really nice.”

“Promise you’ll come?” she asked and James stuck out his pinky for her to link with her own.

“Swear it,” he nodded. “Now can you put this on for me?” he asked, showing her the oxygen mask. “It’s going to help you breathe.”

She nodded her head and let James slip the mask over her head before the nurses wheeled her off to get the tests done.

James turned around and saw you finishing giving your information to one of the attendants and she was about to inform you where to go wait, but James motioned that he had it covered and she nodded.

Your exhaustion and worry had become all muddled together and you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore, covering your mouth with your hand while James came and wrapped you in his arms.

“She’s gonna be okay,” he assured you. “You did the right thing.”

You nodded your head and reciprocated the hug, burying your face in his shoulder to hide your tears from the onlookers.

After a few more moments, you pulled away and James quickly helped you wipe away your tears with the heel of his palm before wrapping his arm around you and leading you to radiology where Nadia would be getting her chest x-ray done.

He sat with you in the waiting room chairs until they brought Nadia out and told you that you could follow them to her room in the pediatrics ward.

By the time you got there and were settled with Nadia, James looked at the clock and noticed his shift would be starting in around an hour.

“You didn’t have to stay,” you said, quietly, gently brushing your fingers against Nadia’s cheek.

“Of course I did,” James smiled. “I pinky promised.”

Nadia looked up at you and nodded, making you chuckle.

“Nadi, can James go home so he can get ready for work?” you asked.

“I’ll come back and see you later after you’ve rested,” he assured her, “But nobody's gonna believe I’m a doctor dressed in these PJs.”

Nadia giggled, “You can go. Mom says you work here so you have to come back.”

“Bingo,” James snapped and gave her a thumbs up. “I’ll see you later sweetheart.”

He bent down and pressed a small kiss to her forehead, wishing her to get better before reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze. His signal to you that everything would be okay.

You pressed your lips together, knowing you were on the verge of tears again, but begged them not to leave your eyes. Instead, you watched misty eyed as this man who you didn’t even know only months ago cared for you and your daughter without question. It was something you hadn’t felt in a long time and so you let yourself soak in it for as long as it lasted.

—

After James had left, you called your ex and explained to him what had happened and he came to join you and Nadia at the hospital. The morning passed without much eventfulness and the doctor and nurses came to periodically check on Nadia, adjusting her medication and seeing if her symptoms were changing.

You left her with her father so that you could grab a cup of coffee from the cafeteria, barely having gotten a wink of sleep last night. When you returned, you couldn’t see Mike in the room with her, assuming he’d just made a run to the washroom, but instead you saw James sitting on the side of her bed talking to her.

He was dressed in his white coat, his hair a little scruffy and messy like it normally was. It looked like he was playing some sort of game with her because you could hear laughter and teasing through the glass walls and you decided to give them a minute alone together.

“Who’s that?” you could hear Mike’s voice ask as he walked up next to you.

“Dr. Wilson,” you said absentmindedly, smiling to yourself while Nadia laughed at James’ defeat in a thumb war.

“Acting more like a candy-striper than a doctor,” Mike muttered.

You continued to watch as Nadia pointed to the IV in her hand and James examined it for a moment, explaining something to her before pressing a gentle kiss to the affected area and telling her that he unfortunately had to leave, but he’d come again later and see her. Nadia pulled him in for a hug and they exchanged cute kisses on the cheek. At least it was cute to you, but to Mike who had no idea what was going on they looked a little suspicious.

“What the hell is he doing with my daughter?” he asked you, pushing past to try and give him a piece of his mind.

“Mike, wait!” you ran up to him, but he wouldn’t stop. “Mike, would you stop and listen to me for a minute!”

He stopped and turned to look at you, “You have an explanation for this?”

“Yes, I do,” you scoffed. “He’s my neighbour. He drove Nadia and I here last night. Just lay off. He’s a friend.”

Mike didn’t seem entirely convinced, but he listened and as James came out of Nadia’s room he pushed past him to go be with his daughter.

You rolled your eyes at his actions while James came to stand with you.

“I take it that’s Mike,” he said and you nodded your head with a chuckle. “Nadia looks a lot better.”

“Yeah, doctor’s said they want to keep her under observation one or two more days just to make sure everything is all okay and then they’ll send us home with some antivirals since they don’t think it was caused by a bacterial infection,” you explained.

“And how are you?” he asked and you took a deep breath, prompting him to reach for your hand that was by your side.

“I’m tired, I’m worried, I have to deal with Mike, I just…” you shook your head. “I’m happy you’re here.”

He gave you a half smile and brushed his thumb across your knuckles.

“You need anything and you call my pager. I’ll be right over,” he insisted. “And if you need a moment alone you can sit on the couch in my office.”

“Thank you,” you said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, see you.”

His hand slipped out of yours as he walked away. You were just about to go back into the room with Nadia before you felt someone tap on your shoulder.

When you turned around you saw Lisa there with a small teddy bear in her hand from the gift shop.

“Hey,” you smiled and wrapped her in a hug.

“How’s Nadia? Wilson told me you had to bring her here last night.” she asked.

“She’s doing okay, a lot better than yesterday,” you shared with your friend.

“Will she be fine in there with Mike for a bit if I steal you?” she asked and you nodded your head. “Let me go in and say hi and give her this then we can walk.”

You went in with her and gave a kiss to Nadia whispering to her that you were going to go for a walk, but would be back soon.

“Mike,” Lisa gave him a curt nod which he returned before she turned her attention to Nadia, the expression on her face changing from one of neutrality to a smile while she handed her the gift and assured her she was gonna get better so fast and be out of the hospital in no time.

“I’m just gonna take your mom to make sure she gets something to eat so she can keep taking care of you. Does that sound good?” Lisa asked and Nadia agreed.

“James said you’d do that.”

“Oh, did he now,” Lisa placed her hands on her hips. “I’ll have to have a little chat with him later. You know I am his boss,” she winked and Nadia giggled.

You stepped out of the hospital room and once you were a bit of a distance away Lisa looked over to you.

“What was all that about right before I came?” she asked. “With Wilson?”

“James? Oh he was just checking in on me and Nadi,” you shook your head. “It was nothing.”

“Didn’t look like nothing,” Lisa raised her brows and you rolled your eyes.

“We’re not in high school. It was a rough night and he was there for it. That’s all.”

“And what did Mike think about that?” Lisa asked.

“He wasn’t impressed,” you sighed. “But he doesn’t really know how much time we’re spending together and he doesn’t need to because he’s not in charge of me.”

“He is half in charge of Nadia though,” Lisa said, making a fair point. “Just be open enough with him that it won’t be a headache when it comes to her.”

You nodded your head, and didn’t argue with Lisa when she offered to buy you something for breakfast.

“When was the last time you ate?” she asked.

“Last night, dinner,” you sighed, Lisa took the coffee out of your hands saying you shouldn’t be drinking the caffeine on an empty stomach and you chuckled a little at her motherly attitude.

You sat down at one of the tables and began to eat with her lightly chatting about a few things that had happened since you had last seen each other.

“You know, if anyone gives you trouble you can just call me,” she said.

“Is that an abuse of your power as Dean?” you asked, with a slight air of teasing in your voice.

“Not really,” she shrugged. “I’m just trying to make sure the patients here get the best care possible.”

“Especially when that patient is your unofficial niece,” you winked and she kicked you lightly under the table.

When you finished eating, Lisa walked you back to Nadia’s room before going to the clinic. Nadia was sleeping now and Mike was reading a magazine in the chair next to her bed.

“Thanks for staying with her,” you said. “I hadn’t eaten since last night.”

“No problem,” he said without looking up from the book.

You took a deep breath and sat down on the chair on the opposite side of Nadia’s bed, twiddling your thumbs.

“She talked a lot about Dr. Wilson,” he said, finally breaking the silence, putting the magazine off to the side.

“Yeah, she likes him a lot,” you nodded.

“Do you like him a lot?” he asked.

You shook your head at his question, “Mike does it matter what I feel? We’re not married anymore. I can understand your concern for Nadia, but I can tell you with certainty that he’s shown us nothing but kindness.”

Mike looked at you for a moment with a piercing stare before backing off and leaning back in his chair, opening the magazine once again.

—

You rarely liked the idea of being away from Nadia, but tonight you were feeling grateful she was at her dad’s place. The furnace had broken in your apartment and the only thing warming it was a small space heater you had in your room that was doing a job it was not built to do.

You were huddled under blankets wearing a hoodie and two pairs of pants, still feeling the cold air cut through somehow. You were just about to give up any hope of sleep when you heard a quiet knock at your door and curiously you made your way there, grabbing your housecoat as an extra layer.

When you looked through the peephole you saw James on the other side, just as bundled as you so you quickly opened the door, wondering if he was in a similar circumstance to you.

“Hey, I-I’m sorry were you asleep?” he asked and you shook your head. “My furnace broke and it’s absolutely freezing in my place, can I sleep on your couch tonight?”

“Talk about coincidence, mine’s broken too,” you chuckled. “I do have a space heater in my room, it’s not much but it’s better.”

“I-I wouldn’t want to-,”

“James, we're both freezing our asses off. Come inside.”

He didn’t argue with you and followed you over to your room. When you got there, you both stared at the bed like maybe something would change to make the situation less awkward and when it didn’t you took the lead, climbing into one side and getting under the covers.

James looked a little nervous, but he followed your lead, getting in on the other side.

It felt weird to talk so you both stayed silent, turning your backs to the centre of the bed and trying to focus on curling up to stay warm.

Unfortunately for you, you could feel your body start to move the blood away from your extremities in order to keep your core warm. It came with light shivering and some chattering of your teeth that you desperately tried to stop until you felt a hand on your arm.

“Turn around,” James said and you listened, maneuvering yourself so you were facing him, your bodies just a few inches apart. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you fully into him, letting his legs tangle with yours.

You could feel your heart beating in your ears while he brought your hands up to his chest, holding them in his slightly warmer ones, using a bit of friction to help them regain their heat.

“Better?” he asked and you silently nodded your head. “Good.”

Eventually you had regained enough heat that your body felt well enough to let you fall asleep and you could feel your eyes slowly begin to close as your head rested against James’ chest. He made sure you had enough room to breathe, but kept a tight hold on you until sleep came for him too.

—

“You slept with him?”

“I did not sleep with him,” you emphasized, pacing your office. “I slept with him. In the same bed. Together.”

“And you are freaking out about this, why?” Lisa asked.

“Because you don’t sleep in the same bed as your neighbours, Lisa!” you insisted. “But we did, a-and I was cold and he held me and…I liked it,” you finished in a whisper.

“What’s stopping you then?” she asked. “He’s cute, he’s a doctor-,”

“He’s divorced.”

“You’re divorced,” Lisa countered.

“Exactly,” you nodded. “He’s divorced twice. I’m divorced with a kid. That makes things… complicated.”

“Are you trying to stop Nadia from getting hurt, or are you trying to find an excuse to stop yourself because you’re too scared to see where this goes?” she asked you and you sighed.

“I don’t know,” you shook your head. “How can I tell that everything won’t just fall apart if I do something?”

“You can’t,” Lisa stood up and put a hand on your arm. “Just try to trust your gut, that’s all you can do in situations like this.”

“My gut is telling me to kiss him and run away,” you shook your head and Lisa nodded,

“Yeah, you probably shouldn’t do that.”

“I’ll figure it out though, right. Eventually.”

Lisa didn’t say anything, simply giving you a hug, knowing deep down you knew what the right thing to do was and like you said, eventually, you’d come to the same conclusion.

—

Hearing the knock at your door, Nadia bounced off the couch and raced to open it, knowing what was awaiting her on the other side.

James leaned into the doorway when Nadia swung the door open and said,

“What night is it again?”

“Movie night!” Nadia cheered and jumped into his arms, her eyes growing wide when she saw the assortment of treats he was holding.

“It’s not a movie night without snacks,” he said and Nadia agreed with him. You came up towards them and snatched away two of the bags of candy.

“She just got a hundred percent clean bill of health from her pediatrician, you really wanna go and mess that up with all this candy?” you asked.

“Come on, I’m a doctor, I know what I’m doing,” James assured. “We’ll be reasonable, right Nadia?”

The young girl nodded her head and swore on her allowance that she wouldn’t eat all the candy. Hesitantly, you handed the bags back and gave them a skeptical look while they walked over to the couch to get things started.

You finished what you were doing in the kitchen and brought over a bowl of popcorn with you smiling to yourself when you saw Nadia sitting in James’ lap and telling him how to use the remote for your TV. You placed the bowl on the table and went to change into something a little more comfortable for the evening, hoping that by the time you came out they had picked something to watch.

When you stepped out of your room, now wearing a sweater and some flannel pyjama pants, Nadia informed you they were just about to start the movie.

“Come sit, quick mom,” she patted the spot next to her and James and you slipped in next to them, noticing how James wrapped his arm around you, bringing you in a little closer. You didn’t fight the close proximity and instead leaned into it more, resting your head against his shoulder.

Nadia had already leaned back against his chest, her eyes fixed on the screen and her hand shoved inside one of the bags of candy James had brought. The top of her head was just resting against the side of James’ chin and when you looked up at him he was glancing down at Nadia, a small smile on his lips. He looked content.

You could have stayed like that all night, just watching them, but you knew sooner or later you’d have to pay attention to the movie before they started asking questions.

Around halfway through the movie, James tapped your arm and you looked up at him, seeing him point to Nadia with his eyes, who was now fast asleep on him.

You chuckled quietly, sitting up a little straighter and saying,

“I can move her to her bedroom. You don’t have to stay for the rest of the movie.”

“Actually, I’m kind of invested,” James admitted. “But I will take you up on the moving her option, I’ve had to go pee since like the second musical number and she’s really squeezing my bladder.”

You bit back a laugh and shook your head, pausing the movie and standing up so you could genty lift Nadia off of James’ lap and carry her over to her bedroom, tucking her under the covers and placing a kiss to her forehead before going back out to the living room.

James was in the washroom still so you went and made yourself and him a mug of tea. When he came out, he joined you in the kitchen watching as you poured the hot water into the two colourful mugs with math puns on them.

“You take anything in your tea?” you asked.

“No, do you?”

“A little sugar,” you nodded and he offered to grab it for you, opening the cupboard in front of you and placing a hand on your back moving you slightly out of the way so he could take out the box of sugar cubes. Your breath hitched at the sudden contact and you hoped he didn’t hear it, instead masking your desire with small talk.

“I thought you had a sweet tooth,” you said. “It would explain all the candy.”

“I have a bit of a sweet tooth sometimes,” he admitted.

“I think Nadia enables you,” you grabbed your mug and passed James his.

“Oh she definitely does,” he nodded his head, taking a sip of the steaming hot drink before walking back to the couch with you.

You fell back into the same positions you were before, pressing play and continuing to watch the movie. After a few things progressed in the plot you spoke up asking,

“You think this movie’s going to have a happily ever after?”

“Sure, it’s a kid’s movie,” James nodded and looked down at you. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” you shook your head. “It’s stupid.”

James rubbed your arm, coaxing you to look back up at him again.

“You were thinking about something, what was it?”

“It’s just the happy endings don’t always happen,” you said. “I don’t know if I should let Nadi live in a world of fairytales or destroy all her hope of the future.”

“Maybe life isn’t all bells and whistles when it comes to love,” James started. “But we win with other things. I mean look at you, you’ve got an amazing daughter and you’re doing something you love with your life, isn’t that its own kind of happily ever after?”

“I guess it is,” you nodded.

“And you know, your life isn’t over. Who’s to say love is out of the picture?”

You were looking up at him and wondered how he could hit the nail on the head so accurately, like he could read your mind.

Right now, love was pretty clearly in the picture and it was sitting right in front of you.

You could feel yourself reach out your hand, gently brushing your fingertips against his cheek.

“And what if I’m not brave enough to go after it?” you whispered, feeling your heartbeat mixed with his and his shaky exhale that came with your touch.

“Then maybe,” his thumb and forefinger came to hold your chin up, his face inching closer to yours. “Maybe it can meet you halfway.”

You could feel your eyes flutter shut and his lips just barely ghost against yours when you heard a sound coming from Nadia’s bedroom and the spell was broken.

You both opened your eyes and after a moment you pulled away, just before Nadia opened the door to her room.

“Why was I in my room?” she asked.

You were still too stunned to speak, your mind racing at the idea that you were just about to kiss James, and he was going to kiss you back. You felt like a teenager, not knowing what to say or how to act.

Luckily, James was a little more composed than you and explained to Nadia that she had fallen asleep and that you both didn’t want to wake her.

“Is the movie over?” she asked and you all looked at the screen, seeing the end credits rolling.

“Yeah, it is, sorry sweetheart,” James apologized. “Can I make it up to you and read you a story before you go back to bed?”

“Sure,” Nadia agreed.

“Go brush your teeth first,” you instructed. “I’ll tuck you in once James is done reading.”

Nadia went off to the washroom and before James could say anything you stood up and grabbed a few of the dirty dishes, taking them to the kitchen to clean up. You couldn’t talk about what had just happened, not now at least, not when it was still so fresh.

You focused only on the dishes and cleaning the kitchen while James read Nadia her story before wishing her goodnight with a kiss on her forehead and waving goodbye to you and thanking you for the tea.

When the door closed behind him you let out a small breath that you had been holding and went to tuck Nadia into bed.

“Mom, are you okay?” Nadia asked, sensing your far off look.

“I’m fine,” you assured her with a forced smile. “Rest up, I have to take you to your dad’s place tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she yawned. “Night, mom.”

“Goodnight, honey.”

You kissed her on the cheek and stood up, going over to your room and sitting on the edge of the bed. You brushed your fingers against your own lips, closing your eyes you could still feel James pressed up against you, but you pushed it away.

Clearly, you still weren’t brave enough. Not yet.

—

The following weeks were awkward to say the least. You began spending more time in your office when Nadia was with her dad, just for another excuse to avoid James in the hallway.

He hadn’t made too much effort to reach out, you assumed to give you your space. You knew if you told Lisa she would just say you were overthinking things, but you couldn’t get out of your head, even if you wanted to.

You felt like you were going to stay in this crippling state of indecision forever, but you couldn’t keep it up, not when Nadia would ask questions, you needed to come up with something or someone needed to come up with something for you.

You arrived home late from campus today, this time with the legitimate excuse of grading finals. After the long hours of marking that had pushed you to extreme tedium and boredom you just wanted to curl up on the couch with a good book or something that would stimulate your brain.

Before you went to your room to get changed, you heard a knock at your door. Checking the time you wondered who it could be. It wasn’t often you had visitors past 9PM, that was unless it was James.

When you checked through the peephole, you could see James standing outside your door, waiting for a moment before knocking again.

“Come on, I know you’re in there,” he said. “Please, just let me in.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, unlocking the door and opening it, allowing him to step inside.

“Is Nadia at her dad’s place?” he asked while you were shutting the door.

“Yeah,” you nodded, still facing the wood door. “She’s at her-,”

You didn’t have a chance to finish your sentence before James turned you around, taking your face in his hands and pressing a searing kiss to your lips.

You stumbled back until you were pressed against the door, your eyes now closed while you pulled him closer to you. You let yourself run your fingers through your hair like you’d dreamt of doing the night you almost kissed, his hands moving from your face down to your waist, pulling you flush against him.

You could feel your heart beating throughout every cell in your body, so loud it almost blocked out your thoughts. Almost.

You paused for a moment, holding James’ face in your hands and pulling away. Your lips felt swollen from the force with which he had kissed you and you wanted nothing more than to do it again, but you had to ask.

“Is our history going to make this complicated?”

“It’ll be complicated if we make it complicated,” he snuck past your defenses and stole another kiss, shorter, softer. “I want this. You. I want quiet nights just the two of us; loud nights with Nadia; breakfast in the early morning; lunches in your office; dinner together like this makeshift family we’ve created. I just…I want you and everything that comes with it.”

You smiled at his words, bringing him in close to you again for another kiss, this time long and slow like you were dragging out every moment of the future you had together.

When James pulled away from you, your hands fell from his face, travelling down his arms until they were in his. You looked over at him, blinking a few times until began to pull you towards your bedroom, a small smile coming across your face.

James sat down on the edge of your mattress and you stood in front of him. His hands were still in yours, looking up into your eyes. You let your hands come back up to his hair, scratching against his scalp. You smiled when his eyes closed and he hummed at the feeling of your touch.

His hands came back to hold your waist and he brought you closer, his thumb rubbing circles around your skin.

You bent down and pressed another soft kiss to his lips, causing his eyes to flutter open when you pulled away.

“What do you want to do?” you asked, fixing his hair you had messed up just earlier.

“I want to lay down here, and hold you,” he leaned back and pulled you on top of himself, sharing another kiss with you. “And I want to fall asleep knowing you’re in my arms.”

You smiled and nodded your head, whispering a quiet ‘okay’ while you adjusted yourselves to be more in the centre of the mattress.

And just like before, James pulled you close into him, but this time you didn’t let yourself feel taken aback or nervous, you leaned into his touch, savoured when you felt his lips pressed against your hairline, sighed when you felt his hands slip under your shirt to trace mindless shapes on your back.

No equation or formula would be able to describe what you were feeling and it made you realize that maybe math wasn’t the world’s universal language after all.

TAGLIST —

@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey

#james wilson #james wilson x reader #james wilson x you #dr wilson #dr wilson x reader #dr wilson x you #house md #house md x reader #hate crimes md #house md fanfiction #house fanfiction #james wilson fanfiction #james wilson fanfic #james wilson fic #lisa cuddy

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milaisreading · 1 year

Note

Good day, dear! ^*^

I'm an anon who requested you some manager stuff yesterday and OMG YOU MADE ME SOO HAPPY! You're my favorite bllk blog now and I love your bllk manager series A LOT! Thank you so much for writing this. I'm not good enough at reviews but your writing is really good. I like everything: your long funny and cute scenarios, your imagination, manager-chan's personality. Thank you so much for writing my requests, I'm really thankful. Please stay safe and happy!~

Can I ask you for headcanons/scenarios about manager-chan takes care of boys (you can choose any characters you want) when they are sick/injured or have a mental breakdown?

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!~

With love,

Garden.

Author: OMG?! Thank u sm from the words, it means a lot🩷 I didn't expect to become anyone's favorite, since there are so many talented BLLK writers, but thank u🩷 Hope u like this one and thanks for the request! Stay safe and thank u for reading 🩷🩷

Warnings ⚠️: none in particular. Reader uses she/her and there might be manga spoilers. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to: Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

"Reo!" (Y/n) yelled in shock as the boy fell in the middle of practice, thankfully Baro caught before anything could happen.

"What happened?" Bachira wondered as Nagi and (Y/n) ran over to the boy. His breathing was pretty heavy and it looked like his face was getting redder and redder by the minute. Cautiously, (Y/n) put her hand on his forehead, flinching at how hot it was.

"He has a fever. Nagi, can you carry him to the nearest medic room."

The white haired boy quickly nodded his head and picked Reo up and ran out of the training hall.

"The rest of you continue practice. I will inform Ego-san what had happened. Please don't cause a ruckus."

"Sure!"

"Don't worry, I will keep them at bay."

"Everything will be fine." (Y/n) smiled at their words and ran out of the room, hoping that it was just a fever Reo had.

"(Y/n) is so considerate~" Gagamaru said as the others nodded in agreement.

"I wish I was Reo right now..."

"Same."

"So it's just a fever? Nothing more serious?" Nagi asked, trying to hide his concern as (Y/n) walked out of the medic room. The girl smiled at the gesture, knowing how close these two are.

"Yeah, the doctor said it is probably a seasonal flue. Reo should be up on his feet in a few days. You should go and finish the training, before Ego-san takes your phone privileges away."

"And you? I can't leave Reo alone." Nagi said nervously as (Y/n) patted his arm.

"No worries! I will stay here and take care of him. Ego-san will send one of the senior staff members to fill in my manager duties for the next few days."

Nagi's short lived nervousness and worry died down as he realized what that meant. The boy slowly leaned down and blinked at (Y/n).

"What do you mean you won't be with us during training?"

"I can hardly be with Reo and you guys at the same time." (Y/n) answered. Nagi's eyes were dotted for a moment, then it looked like a light bulb had gone off and he started coughing.

"Oh! I don't feel well either... Seems like I have to stay with you and Reo-"

"Nagi Seishiro, get back to training... and never try your hand in acting." Ego's voice came from one of the speakers and (Y/n) laughed at the statement, as Nagi didn't do well in that department. The boy huffed and after a minute or two he agreed to go, although reluctantly.

Sighing, she walked back into the room and the nurse gave her some instructions on which medicine she should give him and what to do when the fever gets higher. (Y/n) was also given a new meal list that the boy will have to follow.

'Some of this food makes me realize how lucky I am to still be healthy.' (Y/n) cringed and ran out to get the lunch.

A while later (Y/n) came back with the food, just in time as Reo was waking up. She put the tray down and walked over to where the boy was trying to sit up.

"Don't get up so fast. Your head will start spinning!" (Y/n) warned as she helped the boy up and lean against his pillow.

"What happened?" Reo asked, feeling his face get even redder at the closeness.

"Nothing much, you seemed to have caught a seasonal flue or something. Ego-san said that you will stay here for the next few days, so practice in canceled for you."

"Oh? Sorry... I didn't want to cause any issues. Why are you here though? Shouldn't you be with the team?" Reo wondered as (Y/n) went to get the tray with food.

"I am here to take care of you. Ego-san already called in for someone to do my manager job. Everything will be fine." (Y/n) grinned as the purple-haired boy blinked at her words, her words slowly registering in his brain.

'Take care...of me?! Wait! She will stay here with me for the next few days? Alone?! Breath, Reo! Play it cool! Losing it in front of (Y/n) will be of no use.' The boy gulped and even though he was sick, he felt a weird bubble of happiness light up inside of him.

And so, truthfully to (Y/n)'s words for the next few days she barely left Reo's side during the day. Whatever he needed she would get for him, check his temperature and talk over the most random things while (Y/n) was cleaning up for the day. Reo himself felt at peace after a very long time, knowing he was cared for so much by his own crush really meant a lot to him.

'She looks even prettier today than yesterday. I wonder how the others are doing without her... must suck being them!'

3 days have passed and while Reo was enjoying his time being sick, the rest...well they didn't like this new arrangement at all. Not only will Reo miss out the practices for the next few days, but (Y/n) will also be gone. Nagi didn't like any of this, the substitute manager didn't allow him to play on his phone during the break. Baro, Rin and Isagi got punished by running 5 laps for every argument, Aryu was forced to tie up his hair in a bun, Bachira was called for a time off every time he went above what was needed for the exercise and Gagamaru... well he couldn't take any more criticism on his stance at the goal, since it was the most comfortable one for him.

"This is unbearable... When is (Y/n) coming back?" Chigiri whispered as he untangled his hair.

'I miss (Y/n)'s way of tying it."

"I don't know, but I can't do this running for too long." Isagi groaned along with Rin. The two already had 2 arguments.

"I don't like this guy at all." Baro muttered.

"What are we supposed to do? Ego-san ordered her to take care of Reo. Lucky bastard..." Otoya said, glaring at the new manager, who was busy scolding Bachira and Kurona for playing rough again.

"I hate this training. If only he would stop telling me every 2 minutes to change the way I stand... (Y/n) always encourages me to do it my way." Gagamaru groaned, taking a sip of his water.

Nagi didn't speak at all, he was in a foul mood ever since that incident happened, and not being able to play on his phone and see both (Y/n) and Reo was taking a toll on him.

Kunigami kept on sulking, as the new man kept telling him to slow down at certain times, Yukimiya and Karasu got scolded at least 3 times for joking and not taking anything seriously. Hiori by now was the only one who was on the new manager's good side.

"That guy pisses me off more than Kaiser." Kurona said, sitting down next to Karasu.

"Welcome to the club. His stuck up nature explains why he isn't a manager." Kunigami said, missing the way practice used to be less stressful.

"My monster is telling me to kick a ball in his face next time." Bachira grinned.

"I would say don't... but please do." Rin groaned.

"Why are Niko and Hiori pissed?" Isagi wondered as the others turned to look at them.

"Huge issue! We need to speak with Ego-san!"

"I wish Reo never got sick or miraculously gets better!"

"Yeah, you are not the only one who wants that." Baro rolled his eyes.

"No! That new guy just trash talked (Y/n) to a staff member and said he will ask Ego-san to get a new manager." Niko and Hiori yelled at the same time. An eerie silence fell on the group and they snapped their eyes at the duo.

"What?! What do you mean change managers?!" Isagi yelled out, being the first one to get out of the shock, followed by Chigiri and Bachira.

"Alright, I am throwing hands then if that's what he wants." Bachira said, but got held back by Yukimiya.

"Did you two hear that even right? (Y/n) does a great job." Gagamaru asked as Niko nodded his head.

"We heard him talk about it outside. We need to talk with Ego-san or Teieri-san!" Hiori exclaimed.

"Hmmm... Isagi, Baro, Kunigami and I will go talk with Ego-san. The rest of you stay here and cause as much ruckus for that bastard as possible." Rin spoke up as the others nodded their heads. As much as the boy tried to keep his calm, he really couldn't. Rin held (Y/n) to a great standard and anyone who tarnished her like that man did deserves at least to lose his job.

"Your fever went down! Maybe one more day of rest and medication, and you are free to go!" (Y/n) exclaimed as Reo nodded his head. He was happy that he was getting better, but he will miss these past few days where (Y/n) gave him her full, undivided attention.

'Man... this day is both good and sad.'

"Ya know! I am happy to see you play again!" (Y/n) suddenly said, causing the girl to look up at her in surprise.

"Really? My skills are nothing special though. Far away from Nagi, Isagi or Rin." Reo said, and he really meant it. Although he had Nagi on his side while playing, he was far from his genius best friend when it comes to talent. That alone caused a flood of insecurities to enter his body whenever (Y/n) would watch the team play, as he knew she probably had her eyes more on the skilled players like Isagi or Rin or Baro.

"What do you mean? Not everyone can copy as fast as you can, basically make themselves invisible. Just because you aren't like Rin or Isagi or anyone on the team, doesn't mean you aren't a great player." (Y/n) started speaking, and Reo's full attention was now on her. The boy could feel his heartbeat quicken and his cheeks started to turn a light pink shade.

"Y-you think so?"

"Of course! You survived this long because of your own skills, not Nagi's. Don't put yourself down. I for one, find you great!" (Y/n) said, giving him a closed eyes smile. Reo felt his heart nearly leave his chest at the last part.

He was about to answer back when the doors to the medic room opened rather quickly, startling the duo.

"What?"

'Not now... we had a moment!' Reo groaned as he made the voices of Chigiri and Bachira out.

"(Y/n)! Please come back, this is getting unbearable!" Bachira said, running to Reo's bed where (Y/n) was.

"What do you mean?" She wondered.

"What Bachira wants to say is... this substitute manager sucks." Chigiri said honestly.

"He is strict and yells at us for no reason most of the time. Aryu even has to wear his hair in a bun." (Y/n) winced a little at that part, knowing Aryu hates that a lot.

"So I am guessing you are disappointed in the arrangement Ego-san and I came up with..." The girl laughed nervously as the other two nodded their heads.

"Well not really. Please tell us you are coming back soon." A pouting Bachira said as he tugged on (Y/n)'s shirt. The girl looked between the duo and Reo before sighing.

"Well, Reo should be up on his feet and training tomorrow, we are just waiting for what the nurse has to say." (Y/n) grinned, patting the said boy's back.

"Ahh that's good then." Chigiri and Bachira said in unison as Reo pouted a little.

'Well, at least I got compliments and care from her these past few days... It felt really nice to hear all that.' The purple-haired boy thought as he smiled softly.

'He really got all that care and attention from (Y/n) alone to himself... how do I make myself sick?!' Chigiri wondered.

'Do I need to take cold showers or pray for a flue now?' Bachira thought, trying to stop himself from glaring at Reo.

Meanwhile on the other side of the building, Ego was looking dumbfounded at the four boys in front of him.

"What do you mean fire her? She is the only one who could put up with you idiots."

"That's what we said! So you won't listen to him?" Rin questioned as Ego nodded his head.

"I won't. Now get out of my office, I will deal with that man."

"Thank you, Ego-san." Isagi said, genuinely feeling relieved that the man was on their side.

"I still think we should beat him up."

Baro whispered to Kunigami, who nodded his head.

#blue lock anime #blue lock manga #bllk x reader #bllk #reo mikage #reo x reader #blue lock requests #its a mess #isagi yoichi #bachira meguru #rin itoshi

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taurussbabe · 1 year

Note

Heyyy!! so I do not know if you are accepting requests but if you are can make Charles x reader wave she is a newly formed doctor of formula one and he does not trust her much until Charles gets hurt and needs care which forces the two to approach

It's not about liking

a/n: thank you so much for this request anon! absolutely loved writing this, hope you like it! word count: 1k pairing: Charles Leclerc x doctor!reader Tw: car crash; mentions of ferrari and their dnf's

“Hey Y/n!” Pierre said as he walked towards you, leaning in to give you a hug “How are you?”

“Hey, I’m good” you answered and greeted the French man, heading to your office. Meanwhile Pierre was talking to his friend “You still don’t like her?” he asked Charles.

“It’s not about liking, I just think that’s weird they hired someone so young and unexperienced.”

“You should give her a chance, she’s really nice” Pierre yelled before entering the Alpine garage.

You were watching the race on your office when you saw a car lose control, roll over and hit the barriers. It was never a good feeling whenever someone had an accident. You couldn’t see whose car it was, only that it was one of the Ferraris.

Soon enough, you got a call saying it was charles’ car, the call was also letting you know that he as coming for a checkup. You knew charles didn’t trust you enough and that obviously affected you, but you also knew that this was your chance to prove yourself to him.

Someone came in with charles and helped him sit on the bed.

“Ok, I’m gonna need you to take your helmet off, please, do you want me to help?” you asked softly but he didn’t answer you, just took off his helmet and balaclava.

You just thanked him and asked if he knew where he was, and what had happened and a series of other questions, ruling out concussion.

“Ok, look, I think you have some fractur here, so we have to go to the hospital.”

“We?” his voice came out rougher than usual, probably because of the scream he let out on radio and because he hasn’t even said a word since he came in the office.

“Yes, we, I’m your doctor if you get hurt on service, so let’s go.”

You were in the waiting room, you had talked to the doctors, and they were now doing some tests on Charles. Soon, a doctor came in announcing he was being put on a cast.

“Hey.” He said as he entered the room.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Better” he answered as you head towards the street, immediately feeling the cold breeze hit your face. “Thank you, by the way.”

“Oh, no problem, I was just doing my job.”

“Yeah, but your job is to be my doctor, not to be nice to me when I was a total jerk to you earlier.” A small smile crept onto his face as he said it and you realized he was truly sorry.”

“It’s fine, you were upset, I understand.”

“Well, you don’t have too, so, I’m sorry, I really am.” You smiled at him and nodded softly.

You were talking outside before saying to charles “Hey, look I actually live nearby, we can walk there and I can drive us both to track, if you want to, of course.” You offered.

“Yeah, that would be great, if you don’t mind, of course.”

He let you lead the way, considering he didn’t know the way to your place. “Hey, thanks, by the way, the other doctor may have mentioned that the fracture could have gone unnoticed easily, but you saw it, so thanks.” He knew those words meant a lot to you and made you extremely proud, yet you still remained professional.

“Again, just doing my job.” You said and shivered from the cold.

“Wear my jacket.”

“What? No, of course not, it’s yours.” He forced the jackets onto your shoulders and smiled.

“Keep it.” He smiled.

The rest of the walk to your place went easy-going, and the conversation kept flowing easily.

After you reached your car, you started driving you both to track, making a joke how ‘it wasn’t a Ferrari, but you hoped it would be good enough for him’ just to tease him. Once you reached the track, charles got out of the car and asked if you wanted any company, but you sent him home to rest, because he definitely needed it. And without even realizing it, that night he went home with a smile on his face, despite the horrible crash he had been on. Maybe Pierre was right, maybe he should have given you a chance earlier, maybe you were nice, just like he said.

After a week, you were now in Spain, travelling with the drivers, when Charles approach you.

“Hello” he said in a singing way as he got closer.

“Hi, ready to watch the race instead of being in it?” you ask him, knowing he would be pissed, but instead, he just smiled and nodded. “You only have to miss two races, it’s not that bad.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Hey, I was meaning to ask you, do you want to watch the race from the garage, so you don’t have to be alone watching it?”

“Oh, that’s very sweet of you to offer, but I have to be in the office in case someone needs me.” You could see his expression changing until his face suddenly lit up again.

“I can watch it there with you, I’m not needed in the garage anyway, if you don’t mind of course.”

“Yeah, that would be nice.” You smiled at him and he smiled back at you, his dimples appearing as he did so.

That weekend and the next one, charles joined you in your office, as you both watched the race together, earing some looks and jokes from, mostly, Pierre and Lando.

“You like her, mate, just ask her out already.” Said max as he and Lando tried, unsuccessfully, to convince Charles to ask you out.

“I don’t think she likes me, I was very rude to her before.”

“Mate, I’ve seen the way she looks at you, she likes you.” Lando said, which made him blush and look down.

“Charles” you called him out.

He turned around at the mention of his name and smiled when noticed it was you who was calling him.

“Hey, how are you?” you asked the Monegasque in front of you.

“I’m good, so much better, thanks to my amazing doctor.” You laughed before continuing with the conversation.

“Listen, I don’t know if I’m crossing any boundaries or anything, but would you like to maybe go out sometime?”

“Yes” he said very quickly, and then realized how desperate it sounded so he just said again, this time more calm “I would love to.”

Turns out, Pierre was 100% right about you, you were indeed amazing.

#charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x female reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #taurussbabe #charles leclerc fluff

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metalheadsforblacklivesmatter · 10 months

Text

Today's Disability Pride month post

Object permanence

I see this one misunderstood a lot because people think of it in the context of babies. But ADHD object permanence is different from baby object permanence.

What is it?

So remember yesterday when I said if I get a planner to manage my time blindness, I forget it exists? So in the context of babies it's "If you put the planner in the box, the baby thinks the planner is gone." But in the context of ADHD it's "I put my planner away in a drawer. My brain is actively thinking about something else. That planner is GONE to me. But if in 5 days my friend is "I'll write this in my planner." I'll be like "Shit. My planner is still in that drawer." It's not that I forget that the planner exists. The idea of planners ever existing at all completely escapes my mind. (Okay but if it's hidden in that drawer for 5 years I will probably forget that I even bought it).

How do you manage it?

Honestly. I really don't fucking know. I try to not keep things out of site. Out of site out of mind. If it's something like "I need my computer to work." Then it can be put away. Because the idea of needing a computer will remind me that I have one. But if it's "I bought this pretty necklace". I need to store it out in the open otherwise I'll forget I have it because I don't NEED it.

If you store everything out in the open, won't it collect dust...

Yeah... listen. I don't know what you want me to say here. If I don't see it I forget it exists. I just found a pair of headphones the other day that I didn't even know I had, which was really annoying because I really needed a pair of headphones. If you got any tips and tricks let me know.

I still have a whiteboard I need to put up because I keep forgetting I have it. I also have a binder I need to organize my important information in but I keep forgetting to do that because I keep forgetting I have it. And I have weights I keep stubbing my toe on because if they get put away I'll forget I have them and my doctor says I need to exercise more.

Wow this is the first time you've raised awareness for a thing and not had advice

Yeah. Because I don't understand how you have all of the things that can possibly exist perfectly organized in your minds. Like how the fuck are you like "Ah shit. I need to wrap this present. I'll use this wrapping paper I bought 3 years ago." It's weird. It's weird and it's creepy that you just remember shit like that.

I was like "I should do some exercises because the doctor said so". And I was doing the exercise like "this would be a better exercise if I had weights." I DID HAVE WEIGHTS. THE ONES I NEEDED WERE RIGHT BY MY FEET. HOW DID I FORGET I HAD THEM.

-fae

#object permanence #disability pride month #disability awareness month #disability awareness #disability pride #adhd

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woso-fan13 · 9 months

Text

Sicktember 2023: 9

White Coat Syndrome

“Y/L/N,” Dawn shouts across the locker room, “my office, now.”

“Oooh,” your teammates say sing-songily together, “Y/N’s in trouble.”

It’s like you're instantly transported back to primary school, the principal calling your name over the loudspeaker. Without a doubt, your peers would tease in the exact same way. The only real difference is that your teammates are adults and should definitely know better than second graders. The punishment would almost definitely be the same too- missing out on recess is pretty much the same as missing practices and games.

With a hot blush across your cheeks, you quickly head to Dawn’s office. You knew better than to keep her waiting. You knock lightly, waiting for a response before you enter.

“Hey, Dawn, how are you? You look great, you’re absolutely glowing. Are you using a new skincare routine, you’ll have to tell me your sec-“

Dawn cuts you off by clearing her throat.

“Hello, Y/N, it’s been awhile since we’ve had some good one-on-one bonding. I was thinking we could play a game,” Dawn says, surprisingly meeting your energy and excitement.

“Ummm,” you hesitate, confused, before sitting down and nodding, “okay, yeah! It’ll be fun! Which one do you think?”

“How about 20 questions? It’s one of my favorites.”

You know Dawn must have an ulterior motive, but you can’t figure it out.

“I know that one, I’ll start. Dawn, what’s your favorite color?”

“I like light blue. Y/N, who was your soccer idol growing up?”

“Oh, that’s easy: Mia Hamm. If you played on the team, what position would you play?”

“Probably goalie, less risk of an ACL injury. How about this, if you could be any member of the staff, who would you be?”

“Coach, I love all of the tactics behind it. Oh, it’s hard to think of questions. Umm, what’s your favorite drink?”

“Water,” she answers bluntly, “do you think I’m an idiot?”

“What?” you respond, about to continue when she interrupts.

“Y/N, you’re supposed to answer the question before you ask one. So, again, do you think I’m an idiot?”

“No, no of course not. What are you talking about?”

“Well, I’m not sure if you remember, but you missed camp two months ago because you had covid. And you missed camp last month because you developed asthma from covid and you had to go to the emergency room multiple times. So, my next question, did you think I would forget that you’re required to have a full work up from a pulmonologist before you’re allowed to train or were you simply hoping to avoid me?”

You freeze, eyes wide. You knew that you were supposed to see the doctor, but the doctor scared you. The only reason that you had even gone to the emergency rooms those times was because you couldn’t breathe and one of your teammates had to drag your blue-lipped form in.

So you put off the appointment, hoping that everyone would ignore your lack of medical approval if you played really well. Besides, you had brought the emergency inhaler that you had gotten at your most recent emergency visit, so you would be fine.

Dawn sighs, “go get your bag, you’ve got an appointment in 30 minutes. If you get the all-clear, you can practice tomorrow.”

You know better than to protest, going to grab all of your things. You stop for a moment and watch your teammates warming up, jealousy filling your body.

You walk back towards Dawn’s office, expecting her to pass off car keys and directions. Instead, you find her standing with her bag, keys in hand.

“Are you ready to go?” She asks.

“You’re coming with me?” You question, “I thought you would have to stay for practice.”

“I thought you would like the company, but I could be wrong. I guess I’ll go back to practice and you can go alone.”

It was almost comical the way your face instantly paled, the blood draining. Your hand reached out automatically, trying to stop her from leaving.

“Please, no” you say quietly.

“Alright, come on then. We have to go.”

You quickly follow Dawn as she begins heading towards the exit, afraid that you would be left alone. You couldn’t decide which was a worse option- having to go to the doctor alone or never being able to play soccer again.

#uswnt players #uswnt x reader #womens soccer #uswnt woso #woso imagines #woso #reader insert #uswnt imagine #woso imagine #woso x reader #uswntsoccer #uswnt fanfic #woso fanfics #uswnt imagines #uswnt reader

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nburkhardt · 1 year

Text

Somebody Loves You, You Got a Friend (part 5)

Other parts: one, two, three, four.

I know I said in the last part we’re meeting the CC boys, but I forgot about this. So we get a bit of what’s happening outside of Steddie’s bubble! (We’re fast forwarding a bit, Steve’s like five-six months along. Also if anything doesn’t seem accurate to real life, pls ignore that oh and the show timeline…don’t look too closely pls 🫡)

Being in a small town is still sometimes stupid, Steve will always say this. Because of how fucking true it is.

It wasn’t too long ago when all the town could talk about was “poor Joyce Byers, her youngest is dead” and then found alive it switched immediately to “poor Barbra Holland, just so young” and now? Now it’s his family.

Thankfully the rumors and gossip is about his father leaving suddenly and not about him being pregnant at sixteen.

Currently he’s hiding his tiny baby bump, because according to the doctors, he’s thirteen weeks along and the other day he noticed his stomach rounding out. So, he’s taken up to wearing a bit bigger shirts and sweaters. Since the doctors and his mom told him scent blockers can be harmful, he’s had to stop taking them.

Instead, he helps mask his scent with Eddie’s scent.

“How you feeling today?” Eddie whispers to him, as he subtly scents him.

He shrugs and notices Nancy and Jonathan staring at him, turning away, “the nausea is better today, I think. Right now I’m really wanting a cheese pizza oh, and a chocolate brownie”

Eddie laughs and pushes him just enough to start walking, “good thing it’s lunch, then?”

They make their way out of the school, Steve hearing multiple people whispering about them but ignoring it. It’s not new that he’s friends with Eddie, plus he isn’t really ‘King Steve’ anymore either. If anything, being popular was a huge disappointment.

As they reach his car, they hear someone shouting Steve’s name. Confused, and not finding anyone immediately, Steve’s a little surprised to see that Nancy and Jonathan followed them.

“Um, what’s up?”

Nancy looks between him and Eddie then narrows her eyes, like she’s trying to figure something out. “We wanted to talk to you about something”

Confused even more, he looks between the other couple before glancing at Eddie, who’s just as confused. “Ok? Can’t you say it in front of Eddie?”

Jonathan shook his head, “uh, we can’t- probably shouldn’t. It’s- it’s about my brother”

That’s when it clicks, it’s about the stupid Upside Down.

Again.

Shaking his head, he hopes they can’t tell his scent is spiking with anxiety. Eddie immediately picks up on it though, “Stevie, we should leave before our lunch break is over, yeah?”

Thank god for Eddie.

“He’s right and I really want some pizza, maybe another time?” He’s lying, there’s not going to be a next time for as long as he can ignore them. He can’t be involved with them anymore, especially with the tiny life growing inside of him. “Come on, Eds”

Eddie gives the other two a blinding manic smile before climbing inside the car and Steve just smiles and then they’re gone.

They drive to the closest diner that serves pizza and brownies.

They’re in the furthest corner of the whole place and hidden behind a wall, giving them the privacy they’ve been wanting. Steve’s not at all hiding the fact that he’s scenting Eddie and Eddie has a hand on his stomach underneath the sweatshirt.

“You know, I was told you can’t feel anything yet. There’s like a few more weeks, then apparently you’ll be able to feel them moving and kicking” he whispers against Eddie’s neck, “have I told you I love your scent?”

The alpha chuckled, “yeah? Your scent is better, it’s even sweeter now”

Shaking his head, he sits up and looks at Eddie, “it changed?”

Before Eddie can answer, the pizza is there. Along with two brownies, which Steve immediately grabs a slice. “Uh yep, I never realized how good this was” he nearly moans at the pizza, then he eyes the brownie and grabs a piece.

“You aren’t-“

Nodding, he puts part of the brownie on top of his pizza and takes a bite. An overly satisfied smile on his face, causing Eddie to laugh and shake his head. They eat mostly in silence, especially since the omega is happily eating the pizza with the brownie on top.

It’s only once they’re back in Steve’s car heading back, when he remembers. “Hey, you said my scent changed. What does it smell like now?”

Eddie lets out a hum, leaning over and taking in his scent before answering, “there’s a hint of I think cinnamon? It’s really faint, I only notice it when we’re scenting each other”

“I’ll ask my mom about it, this is still all outta my knowledge. I knew some of it but there’s things I didn’t know. Like, your scent is overly calming to me? It’s weird, I mean, before even back when you shoved me in my car at that party, I really liked it but it didn’t calm me down.” He explained as he parked but didn’t move to get out, instead turned to face Eddie, “I already knew the basics for pregnancy and all that. But apparently the baby will be able to hear both of us? It’s so weird. This is weird”

Eddie laughed, reaching over to grab his hand, “it’s metal as fuck, pretty boy. You’re growing a human, like right now. I know it’s not what we wanted but, I’ll be honest, I’m so damn lucky it’s you.”

Almost immediately, his eyes start to sting as tears well up, rubbing at his eyes, he laughs before shaking his head. “Please don’t make me cry, you sappy alpha.”

Eddie grins, “Your sappy alpha, princess.”

A Week Later

The Harrington house is quiet and all three people are currently asleep. It’s only eight in the morning on a Sunday anyway.

Steve has his face shoved by Eddie’s neck, arms wrapped around the alpha and their legs tangled together, peacefully sleeping. Eddie’s just as peaceful, with one arm holding Steve close and the other is thrown over his eyes.

Steve’s mom, Janet, is waking up only because of their annoying doorbell going off. She huffs, pulling on a robe and stopping by Steve’s room to see the boys still asleep.

The bell rings again and she sighs, pulling their door shut before making her way to the front door to be met with Nancy Wheeler.

“Hello, can I help you?” She never formally met Steve’s ex-girlfriend. She was too busy helping her ex-husband.

The teen is shocked to see her, clearly and she doesn’t know how to school her emotions yet, because the girl looks disappointed that she answered the door, “uh- yes, i’m here to talk to Steve?”

Frowning, “I’m sorry but Steve is asleep right now, is this important?”

She can tell Nancy’s an alpha that hasn’t figured out a way to control her emotions, because the girl is still disappointed and it seems frustrated, “I just need to talk to Steve, you’re his mom, right?”

“I am, and I won’t be waking him up just for a chat. You can come back later or wait until school tomorrow” she’s just as frustrated, if not more. This is the girl that called her son ‘bullshit’ and she doesn’t ever want to see that sadness and that self-doubt in Steve again.

She watches as Nancy clench’s her jaw before trying and failing to school her face and straighten up, “I’m sorry ma’am, but this is important enough to wake him up. It- it’s about Will Byers and-“

Janet shakes her head and gives a sharp smile, “My son isn’t the police or involved with what happened to Will Byers and I won’t be waking him up just to see his ex-girlfriend.” And promptly shuts the door before Nancy can say anything else.

If she listens closely, she can hear Nancy let out a frustrated huff and walking away.

Shaking her head she doesn’t bother going back to sleep, goes into the kitchen to start on breakfast since the night before Steve mentioned craving pancakes.

The smell of bacon and pancakes is what helps wake Steve up, the other thing is the light kiss on his forehead.

Blinking away the sleep from his eyes, his lips curl into a smile at Eddie, the alpha is smiling at him and he can suddenly feel a hand rubbing at his waist and stomach, “good morning, Stevie”

“Morning Eds” he sighs and leans into him for a few seconds and then he’s bolting out of the bed and into the bathroom, throwing up last night’s dinner. Groaning he feels a hand start to rub up and down his back, “Eddie, I swear I’m never going through this again”

The alpha laughs then helps him up. After brushing teeth and putting on decent clothes, they find his mom humming softly to the radio and busy flipping pancakes. Despite the fact that he was just nauseous and didn’t want food, he wants nothing more than the food his mom is making.

“Oh! Good morning boys” she smiles and turns the burner off before pulling him into a hug with a kiss to his forehead, “how are you feeling, sweetie?”

Shrugging, “just weird, I guess?”

“Yeah, that won’t be changing much” she smiles, “come on, I have enough pancakes and bacon. Would either of you like eggs?”

As they’re eating and having small talk, it isn’t until Steve’s finished his food that his mom looks at him with a pinched look, “mom?”

She sighs and looks at him, “Sweetie, before you woke up someone came over looking for you. She was pretty determined to talk, but I told her no. I just wanted to let you know incase she shows up again”

Confused, he sees Eddie equally confused and before he can open his mouth to ask who, his mom says it, “it was your ex, Nancy, I don’t know what was so important. She said it was about Joyce’s son, but you aren’t involved with them.”

For a quick moment he panics at the thought of Nancy pulling him back in, but he’s been better at standing up for himself other than just relying on others.

He doesn’t bother waiting, he’s determined to stay out of their mess. He has more important things in life.

Eddie’s waiting in the car while he’s standing on the Wheeler’s porch. He takes a quick moment to control his breathing and then knocks on the door.

It’s thrown open by Mike, who immediately glared at him, “what are you doing here?”

Rolling his eyes, “your sister wanted to talk to me and so I’m here”

Mike rolls his own eyes before turning and yelling for Nancy, then he just stands there waiting and honestly just glares at him. It doesn’t bother him, it makes sense. Then before he knows it, Mike’s being pulled away and there’s Nancy.

“You can’t keep avoiding this, Steve. You’re in this now” is the first thing out of her mouth, “are you going to help? The kids almost got hurt without any help and I thought-“

“I went over to that house just to apologize to Jonathan, Nancy. Not to throw my life away fighting monsters, did you forget we’re also kids? I’m sixteen. You’re sixteen!” He’s never been ashamed to fight dirty, “I thought that the supergirl closed that stupid gate, anyway?”

He watches as Nancy’s frustration grows, and he suddenly realizes how much they wouldn’t work at all. Ever.

“It doesn’t matter! We need help and you’re in!”

Shaking his head, he decides it’s not worth fighting and just says, “it does matter and I’m out. I’m not your boyfriend, I’m not even your friend. Leave me alone and I’ll stay out of your way”

And he simply walks away.

—

That’s it for now! I’m sorry for making Nancy into this pushy person but I mean…she kinda is that way in canon? She’s an older sister with younger siblings so of course she doesn’t see that she’s still only a kid too. She’s pretty much like this throughout the whole fic btw 🫣

NEXT TIME for sure the CC boys make an appearance 😌 (just a heads up, the unnamed member is named Grant in this)

Taglist: @spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @zerokrox-blog @callme-keys @maya-custodios-dionach @rajumat @yellowdevilkitten @munsonfamilyband @steddierthings @tartarusfairy @mx-jinxous @zombiethingy @lunaticmarunatic @izzy2210 @carlyv @thelittleclare @estrellami-1 @sierra-violet @grtwdsmwhr @epiclazershark @bookworm0690 @forest-fogg (if you would like to be added to this or the permanent tag list, let me know!!)

#steddie #steddie fic #omegaverse #steddie a/b/o #steve x eddie #a/b/o fic #omega steve harrington #alpha eddie munson #nburkhardt writes #stranger things fic #steve harrington x eddie munson #I should probably start tagging this mpreg lol #mpreg

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theaspen · 2 months

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summary : Jay seems to keep appearing in your alternate nightmares. He acts as your night in shining armor, always helping you in your sleep. But when you try to stop the nightmares altogether he doesn't like it.

Genre : Thriller, angst.

pairing : Jay x you

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of blood, death and suicide. If you are sensitive to these subjects please don't read!!

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Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

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Authors note: It's honestly SO embarrassing that I'm posting this now LMAOAOAOA.

Uhm. I'm sorry. I hope you guys enjoy and leave some nice comments or feedback or anything tbh. And send me an ask, or comment below to be added to the tag list.

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Are you sure?” My uncle asks sceptically.

“Yes I'm sure.” I tell him firmly.

This is the 10th time he's asked me this question today alone. What's a therapist gonna do? Besides, I'm sick of him pretending to care.

“Uncle, I'm not really sure why you're so insistent on this. Is it because the press is outside? They want to interview you?”

It's a sharp dig at him and I know it. He's never cared about his own brother, never visited.

He scowls at me, “Careful, might I have to remind you that it isn't your father that's taking care of you, putting you in the best room with the best doctors.”

I glare at him as he walks away from the room. Well atleast the pathetic nice act is gone.

Kyungsoo enters my room soon again, throwing a careful glance at my uncle. He was a big shot after all. With his more than successful firm.

“You good?” He asks.

“Yeah, um I think I'll just go for a walk.” I tell him rather shortly.

“Sure.” He says quietly, probably assuming I had an argument.

But truth be told, I'm avoiding him. I'm getting attached to someone who's just tolerating me for their job. It's not his fault I know but I can't get attached to those who won't stay once I'm up and gone.

My mind goes to Jay for a tiny second. Hm. Maybe I should talk to a therapist. The dreams stopped for two days and usually I would be overjoyed at the idea of not just one but two full nights rest.

But I woke up feeling uneasy, I made a promise to Jay, someone who exists only in my head. But I made a promise nevertheless.

There are so many things I want to ask him, so many.

Why do I have no dreams? Why is it that I only ever have a blackout or nightmares?

Why is he saving me?

I know I shouldn't, but my curiosity has gotten the better of me. I look down at my fisted hands and open them. There are two sleeping pills, I stole it from a nurse's bag when she wasn't looking.

Sleeping pills and I aren't the best of friends. Sure they help me not have a meltdown from not being able to sleep for almost 20 hours but they also give me the worst types of nightmares. Which right now happens to be something that I need.

“Goodnight.”Kyungsoo tries to smile at me.

I meekly smile back , eager to down the pills and meet the one person who actually wants me to stay.

_________________________________________

The pills go down my throat ten minutes later. The small light creates a shadow of me in front. The shadows shift, turning and twisting and I watch fascinated as they give a performance for me.

I'm not afraid, a part of my brain thinks. What are the shadows going to do? They've been with me forever. Taunting me, trying to manipulate me. I've never given into any of their tricks. I've never trusted them.

But when I'm all alone now, in a tiny closet peeking out from the hole and watching the shadows linger my heart picks up its beat.

They come and they disappear again and again. I look through the tiny peep the closet gives and realise soon as they go behind every nook and creek that they are looking for none other than me.

My hands reach out to clasp my mouth shut. My body folds itself as small as it can possibly go. Will the shadows think to look here too?

I shut my eyes forcefully. My other senses heightened until I could feel everything around me. The musty smell of the closet, my fingernails digging into themselves. My feet numb, paralyzed.

My breathing becomes slower, my arms start to unclench. I think they're gone. I think I can get out now. Escape to a place where they can't catch me.

Before I know it, before I can even pull my hands away from myself. There's a strange hiss that comes inches away from me. A hand grabs my ankle and pulls me hard enough that I don't have time to scream.

My head bangs against the hard wooden doors as I'm being pulled away. The impact is so hard that I can only clutch my head and groan as the hands keep pulling me away, dragging me on the rough wooden floors.

The splinters catch on clothes and skin. My chin is bleeding, but I can't even stop. Can't even catch a hold of myself as I try to catch myself breathlessly.

There's a sharp turn to the right, and that's when I know that the shadows aren't just pulling me along aimlessly , they have a destination in mind.

My eyes scan around desperately trying to catch hold of something to stop.

Just then, a hand- a solid, real and warm hand catches me. A sudden stop to the journey.

I know who it is before I can even look up. I clasp my hands with his. The shadows aren't pleased, they hiss and linger around My ankles.

But when his hand keeps tugging me in, the shadows start to dissolve, materialise into nothing, losing their power.

Jay's hands pull me again, even when the shadows disappear, he doesn't let go and I don't either.

When I gain a little strength into my limbs I finally pull away from the embrace. I look into his eyes, they are wide and scared, maybe even more than mine.

“Thank yo-”

“Why didn't you come?? You made a promise and you leave me all alone here?!” Jay yells angrily.

I pull away completely. I was happy to finally see him again, but seeing his bloodshot face. The look of absolute rage in his eyes makes me stop. Brings the familiar uneasy feeling back into my stomach.

“I'm sorry.” I mumble.

Jay looks at my crestfallen face, and immediately his face softens.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was just scared you left forever.” He says softly, “You're hurt a lot this time. Come here, let's clean you up.”

He rips off a piece of his sleeves and starts dabbing it on my wounds.

His reassuring words don't chase away the moths in my stomach.

“Jay..do you think I should see a therapist?”

Jay frowns at my words, “A therapist? What's that?” He asks curiously.

“Umm. It's someone who helps you with your problems, like stress, anxiety…nightmares.”

Jay stiffens upon that. His hand paused on my chin.

“But why…? I can save you. I save you every time.”

I shake my head,

“I can save you again, you won't even have to get hurt next time. Just trust me. That's all you need to do!”

I take his hands in mine, his eyes are trembling,

“What happens when you can't?”

“..what”

“What happens when one day you can't save me? I can wake up, but what about you? What if something happens to you instead?”

He shakes his head intently, “I don't care, I only exist because of you. If you're gone, then I'm alone again, I have no purpose.”

I stay silent at that, avoiding his eyes.

The world around me seems to shift again, faster than it did before.

“I think I'm waking up now.”

“Yeah.”

“Can't you…can't you appear in my dreams too? Not just nightmares?”

“I don't know.”

I can feel my resolve slipping at the sight of his tired face. He looks my age, but at this moment his face seems to have gone through a millenia worth of sadness.

“I'll come back okay?”

Jay just nodded. His fingers slip away from mine as he watches me disappear again. I never stay for long. He wonders whether it's because I can't or I don't want to.

Jay fidgets with his fingers even after I'm gone.

He thinks long and hard about how he could make me stay. Every time I've left, it's only because he saved me.

What happens when he makes me believe that she can't escape the nightmare anymore?

________________________________________

Taglist : @sunjaylove @ryejigyu @keikeu

@excusemeimquirky @lollllllliiiiiiiiiiiipop

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shion-yu · 3 months

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Not Your Fault (part 3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Shu comes down with Alex's cold from last week, but it seems like it’s hitting him way harder. Final part, thank you for reading! Fill for my @badthingshappenbingo space "Secret Caretaking." Original work, 2,361 words. No TWs, CW mild emeto, Alex is 13 here.

The thing about Shu was that if someone near him was sick, he always went down eventually. This had been true forever and Shu was bound to catch every cold and flu that made the rounds at the office he worked in. Usually he could push through it to the chagrin of his coworkers who had the joy of listening to him cough and sneeze for the next several days, but when he woke up this morning Shu knew right away that there was no way he was leaving the house today. Thank God it was a Saturday.

It had been a few days since Alex had come down with a bad head cold. He'd been truly sick for about two days, but as soon as he started feeling better he went back to his old self, attempting to sneak off to Ryo's as soon as he could. Shu liked Ryo a lot and was extremely glad that Alex had a friend, but he had tried to convince Alex to stay in bed for another day. "You still have a bit of a fever bud," Shu had sighed. "What if you get Ryo and his parents sick too?" Alex's face had soured, but apparently pointing out that he could hurt his friend Ryo worked because he had stayed home until the fever was gone. He waited for the twenty-four hour fever free mark and then escaped immediately. Shu was just glad he was feeling better.

Knowing how his own body worked, Shu had been trying to get plenty of sleep and chugging Emergen-C for the past several days. He was actually hopeful that it had worked and he’d somehow been spared despite living in the same household as a germ-ridden teenager all week.

Now though, Shu knew whatever Alex had come down with had hit him, and it was hitting him hard. Shu groaned and turned over to look at the time on his phone. It was ten AM on a Saturday morning; he never slept in this late. Crap, where was Alex?

Shu forced himself to sit on the edge of the bed. It felt like his bones were creaking in pain and his headache was splitting. He stood up, was hit with a rush of dizziness, and sat right back down. He felt his legs quivering like he'd just attempted to do some monumental task. Had Alex felt this poorly? When he'd wrangled the teen to the doctor he'd just been diagnosed with a viral upper respiratory infection, nothing too serious, but Shu felt like death. If it wasn't for Alex he would have given up attempting to rise from bed at all, but he told himself this was part of being a parent. He'd signed up for this, and parents didn't get sick days off.

Shu wobbled into the kitchen, leaning heavily on the walls as he went. To his relief he found Alex right away in the living room, sitting on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons. He glanced briefly at Shu then did a double take, his eyes widening. "Holy shit, you look terrible," he said.

Shu snorted with laughter which turned into a chesty cough. He had to sit down. He flopped heavily next to Alex, black spots dancing in his vision. "Thanks a lot, kid. Did you eat breakfast?" He asked, wincing at the pain in his throat.

"Yeah," Alex said. "I think you should probably not be worrying about me right now though."

"It's only a cold, you know that," Shu said dismissively. "I'm just a wimp." He managed to give Alex what he hoped was an encouraging smile but was interrupted by a loud sneeze which he barely managed to direct away from his distant relative turned foster child. "Huh'AEESHUHh!" He groaned, the powerful sneeze ripping painfully through his aching sinuses.

"Uh huh. Bless you," Alex said, scooting a few inches farther away from him in disgust.

"Thangks," Shu said, snorting up the snot that had begun to drip from his nose. God his head hurt like hell. "You good here if I go back to bed?" He genuinely couldn't fathom doing anything else right now. Was he just getting old that this was hitting him so much harder than it had Alex? Was this what having a cold at thirty-five felt like?

"Yeah. Pretty sure I'm safer away from you and your biohazard zone," Alex said dryly.

Shu didn't point out that Alex was almost certainly the one who'd given him this awful cold. He just nodded and shuffled back to bed, making a pit stop at the bathroom to urinate and grab the thermometer. It had barely gotten a break between uses, he thought as he placed it under his tongue. He looked at his haggard expression in the mirror and grimaced. Should he call his mom to watch Alex, he thought? He didn't think he could keep up with the rambunctious teen like this. He decided against it for now though, not wanting her to think he couldn't handle single parenting just like she had. Alex was thirteen, he didn’t need a babysitter, but he did need to be watched closely to make sure he didn’t do anything problematic.

The thermometer beeped and Shu looked at the flashing 101.8 on the tiny screen. Not good, he thought to himself. He downed two Tylenol and then brought the rest of the bottle with him to the bedroom. He collapsed back into bed and fell asleep before he had time to think about anything else. He spent the rest of the day coughing and sneezing and using an entire box of tissues. His sneezes were most certainly audible in every room in the house. Every cold Shu had seemed to go straight to his chest and this felt like no exception. He could practically feel the junk settling lower and lower in his lungs despite the absurd amount he was already coughing up.

Around lunch time, Shu wobbled to the kitchen to grab more water. Alex was at the table doing school work, which was a nice sight. “Hey bud, you doing okay in here?” Shu asked, wincing at how hoarse his voice had become in comparison to this morning in a mere few hours.

“I’m definitely okay,” Alex said cautiously. “You look almost dead though.”

“I’m really okay,” Shu reassured him, which was absolutely not backed up by the way he suddenly grabbed the edge of the counter to avoid losing his balance. Alex stood up quickly, face alarmed. Shu waved his hand in his direction, trying to make it seem like he hadn’t nearly fainted. “It’s great you’re doing school work,” he said in an attempt to distract Alex. Predictably, this caused Alex to scowl and go back to what he was doing. However Shu could feel Alex’s concerned expression on his back as he slowly inched back to his bedroom.

He tried to rest, but the cough was really painful and Shu could feel his fever going up despite the Tylenol. He kept thinking about Alex. Could he really trust the kid to take care of himself all day? What if he skipped eating? Not that he usually did that, mealtime was the one thing Shu could actually rely on Alex to show up for but still. Alex was his sole responsibility and Shu wanted him to have more than just enough. He wanted him to feel comfortable and happy. He wanted to take care of Alex so all those bad memories he had became more distant. It seemed like such a monumental task at times though, and right now Shu was in completely new territory. How did he keep an eye on Alex when he could barely lift his head off the pillow?

He made it to dinnertime without incident. Shu hazily warmed up soup for himself. Alex was nowhere to be found. There was a note on the table: ‘At Ryo’s for dinner.’ At least Alex had bothered to let him know where he was and it was somewhere safe. Shu shivered and managed about three bites of the soup before his stomach rejected all of it and more. He dashed to the bathroom with energy he hadn’t known he had and spent the next half hour vomiting into the toilet. He was glad that Alex wasn’t home to hear it. Afterwards his temperature was 102.6. Ouch. Alex’s own fever had peeked at 102.3 that first night he was sick. Shu hoped his own illness was following that same trajectory and it wouldn’t get any higher.

He forced down a single saltine cracker and two more Tylenol in the hope that it would stay in his stomach, then went back to bed. His stomach and head ached, his chest felt heavy, and Shu was beginning to grow concerned. He hadn’t been this sick in a while and he hadn’t had a kid to worry about that time. He needed to hurry up and get better. He needed to sleep.

He woke up an unknown amount of time later to the feeling of a cool hand on his cheek. It felt nice... Shu forced his eyes open and squinted at the form above him. Alex? Shu was confused. Why was Alex in here?

"You were moaning in your sleep," Alex explained, noticing Shu's eyes were open now. He looked embarrassed to be caught. He also looked worried. "You feel really hot."

"Just a fever. I took some Tylenol," Shu said hoarsely, although he had no idea how long ago that was now. “What time is it?”

“Two AM,” Alex said.

“Oh,” Shu said, confused. “Did I wake you up?”

"It’s alright," Alex said, and scurried out before Shu could ask any more questions. Shu didn't expect him to come back and he didn't for several minutes. By this time Shu had almost fallen back to sleep and was barely conscious when he saw Alex slink back into the room with a wet washcloth. He closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep to save Alex from getting more embarrassed. He felt the cool, damp cloth be placed on his forehead and then heard Alex leave again. Shu fell asleep with his lips turned in a smile.

The next time he became half conscious it was only because he was so goddamn cold. He was shaking uncontrollably with aches and chills. He curled into a ball and tried to wait out the pain, but he felt awfully alone right now. He missed his mom. She was always so good to him when was sick, brewing tea and rubbing his arms and legs and giving him the hot water bottle to ease his chills... Just like... Right now?

Shu opened his eyes. Somehow the hot water bottle had appeared in his arms, as well as an extra blanket on top of him. He listened carefully, but there was no quiet chatter of Chinese radio in the background that always accompanied his mom wherever she went. He did hear the sound of water running in the bathroom though, and then Alex's voice saying something like, "He'll be fine, Ry, right?" Shu wanted to reassure Alex he was definitely going to be fine, but he felt too weak and sleepy and soon lost consciousness again.

The quiet chatter of Chinese radio when he came back to his senses was a sure sign his mom was there now. "Ma?" Shu croaked, forcing his eyes open.

He could smell his mom's distinct perfume as she came to his bedside and rubbed his chest. "Háizi. Boy call me, say that you sick."

Shu slowly processed what that meant. Alex had called his mom, Fulu. "Where is he?" Shu asked.

"Friend house," his mom said. "He upset, think you dying."

"Ugh," Shu said, concerned at the thought of upsetting Alex. "Ma, didn't you tell him I'm fine? I always get high fevers..."

"He no listen. Just like his bàba," Fulu said. She handed Shu her phone, silently instructing him to do exactly what Shu already wanted to - to call Alex. He didn't think it was worth correcting his mom right at this second - that he wasn't Alex's dad. Alex was his kid, and so it almost fit. He wanted it to.

Shu's hands shook as he found Alex in Fulu's contacts and called him, pressing the phone to his ear. Alex picked up right away. "Is he okay?" Was how Alex answered.

Shu coughed in surprise. Alex sounded genuinely worried. It would have been touching if Shu didn't feel so guilty about it. "Alex? I'm fine bud. I just have a fever, that's all. Same as you did, just a little worse. I promise."

There was silence on the line for several seconds. Shu was worried he'd hung up. But finally Alex said, "You weren't getting any better, even though I did the same stuff you did."

Shu felt a rush of affection. Alex really had been trying to take care of him, even though it was supposed to be the other way around. "It'll be a few days, and then I'll be right as rain," Shu reassured him as confidently as possible. "Do you want to stay at Ryo's this weekend?"

"Can I?" Alex asked hesitantly.

"Of course, if it's okay with his parents. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable. I just need you to understand that you don't need to worry about me. Thanks for calling my mom. I'm glad you got help when you were scared."

"I wasn't scared," Alex shot back, but Shu knew he was lying. "Can you call me again when you feel better?”

"I feel better hearing your voice," Shu said with a smile.

"Ew."

"Sorry," Shu laughed, which quickly became several wet coughs. "I'll text you every time I'm up, alright?"

"Alright," Alex agreed. "Um... I hope you feel better soon."

Maybe it was because he felt so rotten, or because he was relieved that Alex was okay, but Shu felt tears spring to his eyes. He swallowed and tried not to let his voice waver as he said, "Thanks buddy. I will. See you soon."

#shionwrites #sickfic #fever whump #parental relationship #bad things happen bingo #It's All My Fault #oc: alex #oc: shu #whump #illness whump #flu whump #sicknario #male cold #sick whump #snz #oc sickfic #emeto #secret caretaking #coughing

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moonstruckme · 2 months

Note

omg hi! I love your writing so much and I’ve seen that you asked for doctor Remus requests and he’s on my mind day and night, I simply love how you write him. I don’t know if it’s a thing in other countries as well but in mine you have to go to the doctors around your birthday for like check ups and stuff like that, mine is coming up and I’m already dreading it (mostly because of the blood test, I end up fainting every time😣) but I’m sure it would be better if it was with Remus instead🥰

Thanks for requesting sweetheart, hope it goes okay!!

cw: description of anxiety, mention of needle, implied blood

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 972 words

The doctor’s voice is so soothing you keep almost forgetting where you are. You don’t even think he’s doing it on purpose.

“Alright.” He catches your ankle before you can kick him, sharing a smile with you as he pockets the small mallet he’s been using to test your reflexes. “Everything seems perfect.”

“Thanks,” you say, then feel stupid.

You don’t know why you’re acting like he’s complimented you. You’re getting flustered by his raspy timbre and attractive hands (which had, just a few minutes before, felt gently along your neck and the underside of your jaw like you were a thing to be treated with care. Not that that’s important). The doctor—Remus, he’d told you to call him—smiles politely anyway.

“All that’s left to do is get you sorted at the lab,” he says, typing something quickly into his computer, “and then you’re free to go. Ready?”

“Um, yeah.” It’s a struggle to hear yourself over the beating of your heart. You can only hope you sound normal. You’d known this was coming, and still it’s giving you the cold sweats. “I just feel like I should maybe warn you, I tend not to do well with the blood test.”

He glances over. “You’ve had problems before?”

“I sometimes faint.” Your foot starts jiggling of its own accord. You don’t notice until Remus’ gaze drops to it. You stop. “Every time, actually.”

“That’s fine,” he says, straightening and turning away from the computer. “In that case, I’ll probably keep you in here so we can do it with you lying down. Does that sound alright?”

You blink. “Um, sure.”

The nerves are hard to miss in your voice now, and you can’t quite meet Remus’ eyes as he directs a gentle smile your way. He gives your knee a squeeze on his way to the door.

“I’m going to go get some things,” he tells you. “I’ll be back soon, but while I’m gone I just want you to practice taking some deep breaths, yeah?”

You nod. Another flash of that small, reassuring smile as he goes out the door.

You try to do as he says, forcing your lungs to fill and then empty and attempting to ignore the pounding of your heartbeat. You can feel it in your face, in your temples, in your teeth. You’ll think you’re starting to get it to slow, and then a pair of footsteps will come down the hall and it’ll speed right back up again.

It’s almost a relief when Remus comes back, putting an end to your apprehensive torment.

“You can go ahead and lay back, love,” he says, holding the supplies low where you can hardly see them, and you take care not to try. The paper crinkles underneath you as you flatten out on your back. Remus chuckles when it tears a bit and you wince. “You’re fine, it can’t be helped. I’m just going to feel for a vein, alright? Not doing anything just yet.”

You keep your gaze on the ceiling as his gloved finger probes gently at the crook of your elbow. It’s hopelessly plain and undiverting up there, no tiles to count or anything.

“How are you feeling?” Remus asks conversationally.

“Okay.” Your voice comes out with a bit of squeak to it, not entirely convincing.

“Keep breathing for me.” The warmth of his touch leaves, and then a rubbery tourniquet is being tied around your arm. “I don’t want you to worry about fainting. It’s perfectly alright if you do, but we’re going to do our best to keep that from happening, okay?”

You nod. “Okay.”

“Good, just try and stay relaxed.” His voice drops lower, and now you know the soothing effect is intentional, each of his words mellow and mollifying. “Any plans for after you leave here?”

“I, um.” You tense when you feel the cold wipe swipe over your elbow. Remus thumbs over your forearm calmingly. “I don’t know.”

“Seems like you deserve a sweet or something after this, yeah? What sort of things do you like?”

“I did buy myself ice cream,” you admit, “to have after I get home.”

“Smart girl.” There’s a smile in Remus’ voice. You’re tempted to lift your head and see it for yourself, but you don’t. “I like the pre-planning. What kind is it?”

You feel the odd bite of the needle into your skin, and your breath catches.

“You’re alright,” he promises you, rubbing the inside of your forearm again. “What kind of ice cream did you get, sweetheart?”

You swallow. “It’s that new, fancy gelato kind.” Your voice sounds higher than before.

“Oh, I haven’t tried that yet. What flavor?”

You’re starting to get a bit dizzy. “Chocolate cherry?”

“That sounds fantastic. I’m quite partial to chocolate myself.�� You feel something shift, and Remus says, “Nearly done. You might be convincing me to pick some of that up. You’ll have to come back here and give me your thoughts once you’ve finished it.”

You laugh a little, and he echoes it.

“Keep still,” he reminds you.

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be.” You feel the needle come out. It surprises you, a quiet whimper slipping from inside your throat. He tsks kindly. “All done, love. You did really well.”

“Seriously?” You lift your head, and Remus’ eyes are faintly amused as they meet yours. He’s sticking a bandage over your arm.

“Very seriously,” he confirms. “You did beautifully. That ice cream is well deserved.”

The laugh that leaves you is light and pitchy with disbelief. “Thank you. I really owe you your own ice cream, after this.”

He wraps a hand around your elbow, helping you to sit back up. “Careful,” he says lightly, “I might hold you to that. Next time I see you, I’ll be expecting a detailed review at the least.”

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i-bring-crack · 3 months

Text

And another reason why I love Solo Leveling Ragnarok is because it slaps you (sneaky but it's there) with the knowledge that yeah, [TLDR] Jinwoo made the most dumb decisions of his life due to him trying to put every single problem in the universe on his shoulders.

Jinwoo as a person

Is someone who has been put through so much since he was young, we get it, we see it, since he is just 14 he was the only man in the house, so a lot of social roles were placed on him. And even though his mom had raised him with care and did all she could to save the family, 2 pressures were already placed upon him when his dad left. 1, that as a man he should help out everywhere and at every time, he was an older sibling as well so he had to protect Jinah this time as a brother and a father, and 2, his mom was a normal housewife, she started to work yes but the family hadn't expected this big of a turn in their life which probably made him even more pressure to succeed, to earn money or something so that he could take care of them as well. (And I can somewhat relate to this based through experience, as well as other familiar experiences I've noticed sometimes. How people slowly start to look for a way to earn money rather than trying to pursue their passions. All they keep thinking about is a way to be financially stable and it leaves a hyperfixation with being rich, working until exhaustion, and sometimes not doing well at school because it's a waste of things they are never going to use. It could also go differently in the case of Jinah where she studied as much as she could to become a doctor. But to Jinwoo, he never got to become or find a passion of his that he liked, even when he had both parents, he never had a reason to pursue anything and simply was swayed into becoming a detective by Jinchul.) So overall, Jinwoo had slowly begun to think less of himself as a person and more as another tool inside the house that should push their weight around to help.

And then he loses his mother to a comma. Not only is he now having to take care of his sister, but also his mother because she doesn't die, she becomes another wight he has to try and keep alive, and her being, well his MOTHER, he would do almost everything to save her. Now, all of his help is entirely cut off. The parents he was supposed to trust on and lean on are gone. And he is now the only lifeline for Jinah, who isn't even an adult so he can't lean on her or make her work, it would be against all he is trying to work for, which is giving Jinah a better life, giving his family a better life.

And this self solitude goes on for 4 more years. No, in fact, it keeps dragging him into more solitude during the four years of working, pushing his weight around, and literally trying not to die make his psyche more stressed on relying everything by himself or else he is a failure of a person.

To the point where HE is the one that sees himself more as a failure than the rest. The people around him are often bothered by his weakness, yes, and he does get the nickname, but that isn't what's going to affect him more in the long run, rather its the fact that he sees himself not worth saving more than the others. Like how he thinks Juhee might be mad at him for always being so weak and constantly getting injured. To the point where even some of the readers agree and think Juhee would never like someone like him in the first place. But thats completely the opposite actually. Juhee cared for him! Invited him on a date! Tries to STAY BEHIND, I REPEAT STAY BEHIND FOR JINWOO. And Mr Song wants him to live, wanted him to get out of the temple, another person in the LN warns him of the lizards. ONE side story literally is about a worker (who I had mistaken for jinchul my bad it's never said actually who he is) who tries his best to get him to safety. There were, are people who cared about him, about his being.

And Jinwoo doesn't see that, most fucked up part is that people need to read more indepth to see that most of the self hatred comes FROM HIM and the people he fixated upon that he thinks think hate him. His weakness is a big part of his problem, but his self worth exceeds more of the problems later on.

So he doesn't see himself as someone that needs to live on. He doesn't see himself as person in his own house but rather a breadwinner or the only thing keeping the household together. He doesn't think he can be anything better because he doesn't have a college degree or is even smart. The best thing he excells at is hunting, and yet he is the weakest.

His only choice is to become stronger.

And now that's fine in his own right. It's what he wanted it anyways (wrong mistake kiddo, he never had ambitions in the first place except survival), so what if he has been mentally exhausted over the past 4 years, basically going through a war but instead of people it's monsters that are very very bloodthirsty (and totally not someone who could reason with them, talk and have their own lives outside of this world but has been forcefully put into this dungeon with the constant command in their heads to kill and destroy everything. No, sir, those stones right there are not brainwashing crystals! They are just profit you can gain by killing them!)

And so what if he gets to live through one of his worst near death experiences that also increased his trust issues through the story?

He gets to be strong! Everything is forgiven, right? (Right, Ashborn????) All the pain and psychological damage he gets to suffer before that or afterward (liking learning to kill people) is immediately rewarded with more points! More strength! More power!

Oh, you don't even have to worry about all those monsters resenting you or hating your guts because you will arise them, and they shall become your most devoted slaves forever! Yes, the only people Jinwoo gets to live with for his immortal life, the only people in which Jinwoo can rely for help are the souls of his enemies and no one else. The souls who tried to kill him, who tied to kill everything he loves as well.

What's the point in this now, though? It's not like the author wanted to give Jinwoo some depth over his characters mental state. Instead, it was the opposite because he managed to deal very well while under that constant pressure. And besides, he likes hunting. He likes it now! (no, he feels satisfaction over holding power in those situations, he was disgusted at having to kill someone, he was angry at himself when he fought rasaka, he hated the ice Monarch for killing gunhee and escaping from his grass so easily than him being a threat. He doesn't like hunting. He just hates being hunted.) There's no need to dwelve on the story because he gets to have a good happy family (who he can never reveal his true self to) and some friends (that he tried to reach out to search because he knew they would never meet in any other circumstance) and a good boss (who knows the true extent of his power and leaves him to be however he please because he has saved the world and also because there would be no way he can stop him from doing whatever he wishes, even if he creates eternal torment for others.) And he has a wife as well!! (Who the story is completely vague about whenever or not Haein truly remembers everything or doesn't at all and just knows that he is pretty fuking powerful. And both of these already are basically a tight rope for her to walk on. It's not like im thinking haein could do something to upset jinwoo, but there's no way she isn't at least somewhat scared by the prospect of what might happen if he gets mad with her. He can do anything. He can even hide your existence, wipe out the memories, and create new ones, there is no one out there that could come close to ever challenging him, nothing out there that could save you if he changed his thoughts in any way.)

And he also has a son!

A son who means everything to him. But someone who can challenge those views of putting every weight on his shoulders as well.

Solo Leveling's Ending

It was great for others, not for some. Personally, I love it as a Shonen and powerfantasy fan, but not as a literary fan.

First of all, there was no reason for the cup of reincarnation to exist, yes, even though some of the past timelines had been alluded ever since the demon castle and its ruins looking the same as SK. The 'one last chance to wrap it up' is complete deuz ex-machina and just absolutely cleans away all the reason for everything in its story. There's no more advanced technology or clean energy resources (new add-on from the anime) There's no people who could get away from poverty and earn new jobs from this industry that requires all kinds of people. (Yes, even non awakened! Like they could study, the monsters gather knowledge to help create more technology or work in a guild. There wasn't much stopping them if the monsters could literally step away from the dungeon, and also, most of the side characters we know of from the US also use their skills more than having a rank.)

"There's no deaths from monsters as well! Thats good right?"

And yeah, it is! But you know, what could have also been well is if Jinwoo could have still let mana come into this world. Magic didn't have a bad outcome for his world. In fact, magic was the entire reason Jinwoo could get to become so omnipotent as he was. But instead of bringing it back to everyone, maybe even finding a way for people to become strong in their own way like make systems of leveling up for others, he instead decides to keep it all hidden. Not for himself, but absolutely hidden.

"But if he didn't, then people would fall into a comma and die, and there's no cure around the Sleeping death!" There is, and it includes a monarch's blood, which if we ignore the sequel. There's no way he can find a demon and create a monarch to drain him every time for mass production. However, he is also, you know, a freaking God. He can shape reality, shift time, he can raise the dead, he can open gates to mine mana crystals so they could sustain the lives of the comma patients, and even then he has the Rulers at his side who could possibly help him find a cure. Of all things if he isn't able to find a cure for Eternal Sleep after all of the power he has in his hands (and not to mention that dream Antares in the extra thought it was just a little disease he could so easily cure) then this would... idk, man, but he still has a stock so he could cure his mother again and give two others for the scientists to study it at least. He has everyone at his disposal. He can find a cure.

Secondly, the story singlehandedly erased every reason for us to love anything about the story apart from jinwoo.

Your favorite characters? Oh, they are alive, alright, but they aren't as you've met them before. Oh, Haein? Is she the badass swordsman who had experienced death and had her own fallout in life that shaped her as a person while also overcoming her own traumas against Beru? Yeah, she is just an athlete now and then a stay at home wife! Swords? What are those? Loosing? Nah. Thinking about the possibility of what kind of being has been attached to you emotionally and psychologically because he thinks that becoming human should also abide by the gender stereotypical tropes and should therefore find a wife first instead of looking for a therapist out there or deal with his psychological problems first before thinking about trying to date a 13 year old (wait no, it's um, trying to make her to date you, leave big hints, and then tell her that for 10 years you has been trying to chase her bc you were the only person he deemed worthy enough to marry. Why? Who knows(strong and beautiful)! The date must have been such a well off success that it seems he has carried those emotions over it and practically decided to latch onto you, being also the only person he WILLINGLY shared all the knowledge to. Yeah, no pressure, baby.)

Oh, Gunhee? His death? Now its more of a pointless sacrifice than a desth for delevopment. Jinwoo still had the reason to kill the monarchs bc they were at some point going to kill the world. Sure, it wasn't as personal, but, you know. Now Gunhee gets to live again, and then we see him die again. Slow clap, everyone, thank you. His death literally meant nothing now. Jinchul crumbled and tried to put himself in his place, but now that doesnt matter since we dont even HAVE a reunion of Jinchul and Gunhee in the next timeline so their entire relationship is gone. Poof. Jinwoo mourning? No, Gunhee just comes back again and gets to live off as a wealthy philanthropist!

Sung Il Hwans sacrifice that impacted whenever or not jinwoo lived through the monarchs attacks? Oh its okay he is alive now! You know it's not like I had wept literal tears for both of these characters only for them to come back in like 3 arcs later. I guess our emotions meant nothing now! Could have just... Not killed them and then gone back in time. Nothing would have changed, Jinwoo would have still wanted everything to be rewinded.

Jinwoo saying, "Too many people died," felt a bit obtuse in my head, though. Too many suffered yes, but like only two, 3 if we count Adam White, that we cared about where dead. And that's about it if I remember correctly. Like the story could have left of a bittersweet note at worst and on a wholesome ending for the future at best.

It wouldn't have been bad even when many died. And yes many did die that we never cared about, but they also died to protect everything they died.

Say, if Jinwoo died, would a random fodder character say his death shouldn't have happened and decided to rewind it all back to beginning instead, would that have left a good impression, to suddenly erase everything he stood for, his powers his title his struggles, all gone because, oh he died from circumstances that could have been prevented? Many things are preventable, disease, war, conquer. But if you just rewind time then it shouldn't matter that they died now. Those who protected their families out of their own will, went through tooth and nails to fight and live on? Yeah only Jinwoo can do that, only Jinwoo should make that descision. So anyways who cared whenever or not the hunters decided to put their lives on the line (and also it's not like during the 10 years until the final war people weren't allowed to retire or just not work as hunters even though they were awakened COUGH Joohee, Soohyung COUGH)

(Or it's not like Guilds, Essence stones and Awakenings could have absolutely benefited other countries in the world to relapse from the economic and social problems while also creating clean energy resources for the enviroment— And not to mention that this entire system isnt based on nepotism at all for those in power but rather sheer luck of who does and doesnt awaken.)

Lastly I would have tied the point back again to the free will of the people, but it's pretty clear from the last chapter what I mean, yet also I need to instilled the point that he never asked. He never thought about what others might think. When the United States got him on camera, he didn't care and never told them the truth. He doesn't think whenever or not his victims would like to get revived or take revenge of constant hell upon their killers. Neither does he care about criminal acrivity outside of Seoul, apparently bc there is no news of criminal activities being taken down globally (yeah, you have the power of a god, but we are so grateful for you never using it except when it disturbs your ambience! It's not like people are being actively enslaved and under constant dictatorship out there. North Korea? Oh, there's no need for you to help them out.)

And what's worse is that his own powers attract even more enemies to a world that has no way to defend himself, and no way to instantly learn about mana!

Great wonderful thing Jinwoo, this is the same as turning back world wars to them never happening even though they had shaped the entire world that we've come to known. But at the same time also keeping the powers on a ticking bomb as to when they will start the wars again.

But hey, he is pretty omnipotent! So what if there are extraterrestrial enemies in his curf and destroying earth every time they decide to come (oh man, it sure does wonders to see more natural habitats be destroyed for no reason and with no way to explain it! I mean where else would he fight them? The cities? People would get to know about magic then and he can't have that happening!) He can best them all with his shadows and then leave as if nothing happened.

There's totally not a single consequence that could come from all of this!

Consequences

To make this faster imma make a list:

The most frequent ones seen in Solo Leveling Ragnarok.

Gates appear and the whole world is in shambles as to what to do! Thus leaving to many people outright confused and many deaths as well (more, had it not been for Jin-Chul's work)

Suho could have died! Because why tell your son in highschool —since you didn't want him to eb alone in middle school, and in his teenage years he still doesn't know the source of any of his powers or his true nature. Up until what age was he going to be kept in the dark jinwoo? WHAT could have happened if Beru hadn't come to save him? Does he also have that death resurrection thing??? I don't know! No one knows!

Oh yeah no monarchs means that everyone who managed to survive the war is now fighting each other because there is no actual order or some higher power for them to listen to. It's become an anarchy on its own and a bunch of them have decided to break into tribes or states to live! Great! If we read out history book for two seconds you know how badly those things go!!!

Cha Haein was basically forced to survive through sheer will and raise a small village on her own. (Oh and how surprising it seems that the elves were reasonable enough to even tall to her and not outright kill her. My goodness. Could it be they also have a consciousness?)

Esil was forced to see her family be killed, after Jinwoo wiped the rest of the nobles, because the gates had dragged her back to her world since she was the only one who possessed demon blood.

The entire race of the dragons went almost extinct. (And that ones between good and horribly bad because they ALMOST went extinct)

Places like North Korea and Ireland have irreversible damage due to the open field gates which have left many to die. Others include Russia and China but they aren't as fucked however the landscapes of their country have changed a lot due to the mass of open field gates.

The ones that came with the side effects:

In the end, possibly another chunk of the population has died yet again (but do we care? No not really, it's not like Jinwoo had the possibility to save this by giving some backup information— or did he just left it all in charge to haein in the case this happened? It wasn't made clear with that bc she was supposed to tell suho about it in case their father disappeared but like... wow she really got a lot of weight on her hands at least give her some of your shadow army so that she can take care of any alien invasions— no? Just kaisel?...ok (honestly he is pretty great I have no qualms with Kaisel. Best shadow in the whole series) but like, you expect her to protect everyone with that? And no, the necklace isn't viable here, there was no other shadow to help her explain the necklaces' feature for her. JINWOO YOU HAVE AN ARMY— AHHHHHHH

Memory confusions between the past timelines and the others. You know because the Rulers had inhabited certain bodies and like I'll Hwang their memories might have hmmm, idk, come back.

Leaving only a few people with the memories of the past did not in fact help him at all, Sung I'll Hwang thankfully got his memories back soon or else he would have also been lost to the power. Thankfully Zhigang and Thomas met Suho or else it would have been another Christopher Reed situation of spirited away.

Too many people began to focus their faith on the foreign religion because they wanted answers to the many problems that where occurring and wanted to also protect their home (cough siddhart sough)

The other possible ones that are not implied but could appear:

Mana condensation. The changing of wildlife and nature as a whole (which is never talked about?! I get it, not relevant to the story. But damn if it didn't do incomprehensible damage.) (Although this one is a vague good or bad thing but a side effect nonetheless)

Again, setting back the age of progression (not only due to the things that could have been invented from mana but also because the gates everywhere would make for a hard situation in which to invent anything at all.)

Leaving open windows of opportunity for the universe to be threatened. In this case, he left many of the races he was supposed to exterminate, alive, bc killing the monarch would already be enough for him. This instead led to a worse possible idea bc 1, had he completely wiped out the other races he could have easily taken away any possible enemies from his sight. "Oh but he wouldn't kill monsters who are weak and defenseless" well too bad Odysseus now you are stuck with demons who are scared of you and resent you for the rest of their lives and will trade with anyone for more power to stab you where it hurts the most. Also, jinwoo had time to finish off everything. Two years was equal to 27 years, he could have dipped in and out and killed the remnants that he might have not noticed were still alive.

This one, though, I also blame it on the Rulers. Bc they would have been the first ones to know or had gathered knowledge that, yes, actually, the monarchs can come back since the fragments of darkness linger around and try to find other hosts for them to live through, it's why the monarchs haven't been able to truly pass on and why the monsters are so keen in finding sacred relics or building temples– because a monarch can come back, and in fact HAS to come back in order to maintain some order in their dimensions. And like, they would have known that, right? They have fought for centuries upon centuries. It feels like a shitty plan for them to not have at least CHECKED if another monarch could have spawned somewhere else, especially when Jinwoo was doing most of the dirty work out there by fighting the giants in his own home.

I think I probably repeated some of these, and it sounds like I'm throwing shade at Jinwoo for being a dumbass (only I can do that. No one else deserves to shame him.) but his actions are more than justified in terms of how Jinwoo is personality wise. It's also more bitter than maddening to see how all of these could have been prevented had Jinwoo decided not to play his part of lonesome hero and instead talked. About everything. From the war to the mana to the crystals. He didn't need to instantly go on a podium and say all the things. But at least, when he had his son or when he came back from he war, he could have talked with his parents about this newfound power. Slowly, he could have shown it to more and more people, especially those he knew about that had honest and good intentions (Adam White, Norma Selner, Thomas, Zhigang, Jongin) he wouldn't have needed to put himself out there as much and he would have relied on others believing him until there would have finally been enough people to understand about mana before finally letting it in. And maybe the Rulers could have come, some other species as well to help humanity interact with them for a while, let Rulers take care of this earth for some time while he goes to other worlds for a moment so that he can slay enemies to other places instead and come back again to see the progress. If they ever wanted to then maybe jinwoo could have given some of the hunters their memories back, and knowing how they took it in this timeline, Jinwoo would have been sure that they wouldn't have been sacred of him nor hated him for the things he had done. He would have had more people to understand what he went through alone, he would have had more friends, the freaking romance would have made a bit more sense in the end with all the memories gathered instead of one-sided (and wouldn't have much of a power imbalance). And he doesn't even need them to be strong enough to hurdle monarchs or giant monsters on their own. He just needs for them to be there for him. That's it. That's it.

Daul and his friendship theme [in Dungeon Reset] and in Raganrok.

Idk whenever or not Chugang had seen the flaws of his own character as much as everyone else, or if he had listened to his criticisms about the one dimensional personality of his own characters, or he just thought Daul was a good writer, could be any of these could be not but one thing for sure is that, he chose right.

Mainly because I haven't seen Infinite Reset, I won't be able to comment much on whenever or not his theme always revolves around building a safe foundation with friendships. But from what I've gathered in Dungeon Reset, a lot of his characters aren't insanely strong or if they are have cheat codes, they aren't completely overpowered in the way that they can best every single thing without anyone's help. There's still others who are stronger or others who can help the MC gather not only the strength needed to fight against the villains but also to help uncover more of the lore as it goes on.

And it works so well in Ragnarok because: We have this prodigy of a child who can not only level up but has been gifted by his father with a whole Shadow Dungeon as well as inherited some of the powers, and yet he isn't a strong man from the start.

Suho is someone who needs help constantly. From the beginning of the series, he never won a fight alone in its entirety. He won it thanks to an external help and his own internal progression. He levels up, but he isn't completely broken (though he is stronger than his father in some levels because he chooses to add more of his points in strength rather than intelligence. He is like a "what if Jinwoo had invested more points in strength all the way instead of suddenly shifting his focus to intelligence.") From the top of my head I remember his fights where he had to rely on either the monarchs help, the help of the successors, or the help of other S ranks and A ranks (Miho in the Villain Arc, Ryo in the Pyramid and India arc), and even his dad's deus ex machina help to get through his fights.

But he doesn't see it as something bad, and the story doesn't pain it as bad. Suho wants to get strong, yes, but he doesn't distance himself when he needs help, and he doesn't become someone that leaves everyone behind after like two arcs. Granted some of the characters are only making appearances here and there, but they get fleshed out more as they appear.

Taking the case for Miho, who is almost the least explored, we do still see her in the arcs how her character evolves from someone who values her strength as is very observant, to someone who is upright and bossy, and slowly from then on we get to find out that she is someone like that because she has the same justice morals as her dad, and she is also the one who leads most of the paperwork while her dad is out there fighting for most of the battles. And she is just the least characterized. Then there is Zhigang, who suffered through the possession of the Itarims and thus becomes someone more bloodthirsty but wants to fight against that in order to protect others. We see Thomas confronted by his ineptitude and his emptiness of his power. We see Lim Dogyun and Taegyu having to reconcile with their past that separated them from the first place. We see Siddhart be swayed by his hero complex due to everything around him. They are characters in their own right (and they could be more explored. Yes. This also isn't the end, so I can't say whenever or not they will or to what extent)

The protagonist from Dungeon Reset also shows that train of though, often getting help from others, giving something in return. His actions make him a leader, whereas Suho's actions make him someone to be loved more, rather than lead.

And I mean loved more because he isn't usually in a leading leading position. He orders his shadows around and does rake on the lead in things a lot of the time, but in the case where he can't deal with something, he would let another take on the lead (I.e Haein in the Ice Elves Kingdom arc. Taegyu in the Villain arc. ) or he would have a small rag group of teammates (which, apart from the shadows, always changes depending on the arc) rather than a group that follows him here and there.

Not to mention the fact that the shadows speak more now, and there isn't as many as before with Jinwoo, so all of them get to extent their personalities as well, leading Suho to not be completely lonely for most of the time. Even the system in some way isn't just a blank screen, but rather Suho has Beru and Ammut, who act as a guide and a trainer, respectively.

Inadvertently, that leads to Suho's character of protection even more than before. He gets to admire his dad and his mom for what they have done and for how much more powerful they are than him. But it doesn't make him any less blind to the fact that, yeah, taking all the power for himself and having all the responsibilities as well, was a bad idea in the long run.

Father and Son

In regards to the cup, I think everyone would have made that decision. Turn back time and let people live happily ever after. That's all good. What sets the problem is the things that come after that.

And while the story mentions it, Suho also put in a new light of his own, that he wants his father to be recognized for his actions instead of taking it all alone for himself.

Now, does Jinwoo ever ask for a reward after saving the world? No. Does he need it? Absolutely. And that knowledge did always bug me as to why he would just try to keep himself from being known, try to gatekeep magic and monsters from the world. Why did he want it all to disappear and for himself to never be entirely understood. Because, again, just by going from Solo Leveling and its side stories, we never get to truly know if haein ever recovered all of her memories or if she was just told by Jinwoo what had happened before.

Then, the title slaps me in the face. Yeah, it's solo leveling. It's everything coinciding with lonelyness, Beru in Raganrok as well (and by extension, the other author) had emphasized at some point that he levels up alone, he lives alone, he slowly keeps driven to hide away everything that he is and everything that he has truly become— In the same way he hides away all the pain from being noticed by his sister, in the same way rhat he wanted to hide his profession of hunting from his mother, in the same way that he wanted to hide his awakening from everyone else, in the same way that he wanted to hide his trauma through more and more reckless fighting, in the same way he wanted to hide his potential lost of feelings as he is Leveling up, in the same way he NEVER brought up the fact that his father died right in front of him,— He closes himself because he thinks that if the people were to know of him, hate him? Worry for him? Fear him? Whatever he is expecting of others it scares him.

"But he actually just wants to live a normal life!" If he did, he would have given up his power to someone else, or he would have stopped himself from using his powers altogether. But he doesn't. He heals Haeins foot, he gives some mama to his friend so he can run faster, and he uses his shadows as well as other powers to do some criminal activities. He doesn't want a normal life. He just wants some escape. He is hypocritical with his own statement by already doing things that are out of the norm. "Oh, but she needed it, or they deserved it." Yeah, and he could also do that as well to others, heal sickness, hunt down other criminals out there in the world that pose a bigger threat to the living than anything, but he doesn't. Not to mention that the more mana he spreads, the more the enemies are going to notice him. And if he doesn't want to deal with that then he should have healed Haein with magic (maybe use something else that could have been nice) or hunt down criminals at all!

In the end, he had already come so dark to achieve all of his powers, and he can't just leave all of his responsibilities behind as much as he wants ro, so he has to come and accept it that he will never go back to the way it is.

And maybe he has already started to notice that? Or maybe he will get to notice that when he and Suho reunite again? Everything he knows bout earth is just recent, and he doesn't seem to be mad that Suho has decided to become a monarch of a different race instead of being the Shadow Monarch. And while I can't say much about Jinwoo's feelings right now or the state of his mind rhat he might be in right now, there are is a few hints out there that he could still feel as though it is always his duty to put every responsibility on him.

We see this in the reunion with Suho as an illusion. Suho sees his greatest fear, which is letting his own father down, unable to reach his maximum (or unable to reach the power he needs for Suho to help his father carry some of his burden). And he is worried as well that he IS Jinwoo's biggest weakness. To that, Jinwoo responded that it didn't matter and to use his full extent of his shadow powers either way. Once again, leaving Jinwoo to put on more responsibility on himself for the sake of others.

However, for the first time, and due mostly to the circumstances rather than himself, he has to expose that weakness even without being present. He has to learn to trust his own son, which he loves enough to do so, and finally, fucking finally get someone to help him out on earth. This man had it not been for son, who again, he does trust –because he knows him more than anyone else, it's his only child, it has the same powers as him, it's basically the only one who can relate to him: as a human and monarch. Suho also learns about his loneliness the more he hears of Jinwoo's story from Beru. He takes the risk of giving information about Jinwoo for the sake of not letting be alone anymore. That's his gift to his father, to let him acknowledge that no matter what, he won't stand alone anymore. Not as long as Suho is here and leveling up for him.

Ps: Incredibly funny of Suho to also be such a contrast to his dad that even Antares likes him. And it's not the 'Oh, he is just so nice that everyone can't stand his niceness cinnamon roll' Not it's the opposite. He will aggressively befriend you for your powers/skills/because yes. No questions asked.

Pss: Jinwoo will do anything for Suho, even change his lonely attitude of him it's making me sob. WHY DID IT TAKE YOU A SON FOR YOU TO FINALLY RELY ON SOMEONE THAT WASN'T DEAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. What's worse is the fact that it isn't an entire change of the original Jinwoo since in the last extras, he did want Suho to fight alongside him. Despite his C type parenting, he was doing all he could to love Suho as well.

But, you know, I wish we kinda got to see more of that father and son bond Daul *shaking Kakapage* Give us some flashbacks of them Daul! It's not that hard Daul!!!!! WHERES THEIR FISHING TRIP—

#happy valentines day #i got send to the hospital in the meantime bc yalls dumbass had never been vaccinated from very bad disseased like ever #how the fuck did i survive covid i have no earthly idea considering i could have just as easily died from freaking polio #anyways have reason 1283920 to read SLR #and totally not because im translating it no no no i dont self promote like that #solo leveling #solo leveling ragnarok #sung jinwoo #sung suho #sung su ho #cha hae in #solo leveling spoilers #solo leveling ragnarok spoilers #only i level up

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daryandricky · 11 months

Text

SWEAR

Chapter 6 AUDACITY

Summary: Shane tells reader that Rick didn't make it after the hospital was overrun, causing reader to travel with her former military brother to find somewhere safe.

Summary of chapter: Shane tells Rick some news. Reader finds a store with supplies.

Warnings: Swearing, torture, sa, pregnancy, basic walking dead shit.

I had some serious writers block with this one.

masterlist

Rick's POV

He's beautiful. He stands tall and proud. His breaths are even and thunderous throughout his chest. His antlers are unique, going in which ever direction they pleased. His gaze is piercing. He's beautiful.

All three of us watch the deer in starstruck. We feel at piece as we watch another being who isn't trying to tear into our bodies and devour us. I don't think Carl's ever seen a deer in real life. Neither his father nor me were big on the hunting game, so this was a rare thing for all of us to witness. A gunshot rings through the air, cutting the serene moment with a sharp knife. My ears ring for a moment, leaving me disoriented as I watch Carl's young body fall to the ground.

Shane puts pressure on his son's wound, not giving the shooter a chance to explain himself before rightfully demanding help from the man. The man, Otis, sends him to his farm, saying a doctor lives there. That was all Shane needed to hear before he was off, running as Carl's life depended on it. I stayed back with Otis, making him walk with me.

I'm met with Shane sitting on the steps, hands and face covered in his son's blood. I tear my shirt and start to wipe his face the best I can. I don't want him to see himself like this. I'm sure I know how he feels, the same feeling I got when I walked out of that hospital, that same feeling when I found my house empty of life, my wife and unborn child gone. I don't say anything, knowing it might make the situation worse, like when Shane would talk with me it would lead to disagreements and arguments. So, I stay silent, wiping the gore from my friend's face, trying to stay strong myself.

"They kicked me out." He says, whispering. "Yeah, was probably too crowded in there."

His eyes grow wide as he looks at his bloody hands. "I need to tell Lori." He stutters out before sighing frustratedly. "She's gonna be so pissed man."

"This wasn't your fault Shane, there was no way we could have prevented this from happening." He scrunches up his face and shakes his head. "Nah, we never should have gotten that close to it." Shane stands up abruptly. "I need to get Lori."

I place my hand on his chest, stopping him. "No Shane you need to stay here with Carl, I'll go. Okay?"

"I can go find her." I hear an unfamiliar voice say. I look up to see the farmer's daughter, leaning against the door frame. "You don't even know where they are and it's dangerous out there."

"I'm a big girl." She says as she pushes herself off of the door frame. "And I know this land like the back of my hand, give me a direction and I'll find them."

"Are you sure, I mean I could go with you?" I ask not knowing if I can trust her. She cocks her head in Shane's direction before speaking, "He needs you here."

I nod my head a little hesitant. "They're about 10 miles east of mile marker 58."

-----

That was yesterday and now, Shane and I are sitting on the porch swing, not saying much. It's peaceful to just listen to the birds chirping and the occasional squeak of the swing. Shane takes a deep breath, seeming anxious. "Carl's gonna be fine man. He's strong like his dad." I say smiling, nudging his shoulder, trying to reassure him.

"That's not what this is about." He whispers as he plays with his wedding band. My smile falters as I look at him, trying to read his expression. "Did you and Lori have a fight?" I ask, not really sure what's going on.

He looks up at me with uneasy eyes. "Y-Ya can't get mad at me man. Promise me you won't get mad." I watch him with uncertainty before nodding my head. "Shane what's going on?"

He rushes out a "Lori and I think she might be pregnant." In a whisper. My eyebrows furrow, "I didn't catch any of that man." Shane lets out a huff before repeating himself clearly. "Lori and I think she might be pregnant."

The air feels like it was knocked out of my lungs, my heart is heavy, and my mouth is suddenly dry as I watch Shane, trying to figure out if this is just some cruel joke. "Are you serious?" I ask shocked.

He runs his hands through his hair avoiding my gaze before letting out a soft "Yeah." I stand up from the swing and lean against the railing of the porch. I look out to the field, speechless. "Rick, man, you gotta say something." Shane says as he gets up and stands at my side. "Don't got nothin to say." I purse my lips and look at my hands.

Shane throws his head back in frustration. "That's not fair man. It's not like we planned for this to happen, it just did. It was supposed to be a one and done deal with Carl. I would never want to have a baby in this!" He spits out angrily. I nod my head and let out a shaky breath. Shane's face contorts to regret. "I-I didn't mean it like that Rick."

"Yeah, well you said it." I say bitterly before making my way down the steps, ignoring his pleas.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Score!" You say as you walk past a shelf that still has a few cans of vegetables. You greedily stuff them into your bag and make your way to the medicine aisle. Unsurprisingly, its mostly wiped clean, except for a few spare bandages and a tube of ointment. You sigh in annoyance before swiping them off of the shelf. They'll help a little.

You hear a bang on the other side of the store. Drawing your knife, you quietly follow the noise. You're met with a padlocked door and something continuously bumping against it. You don't want to open it, but there might be some medicine that Dylan could use inside. You look around trying to find something heavy. A piece of wood, previously boarding the windows, lays a few feet away.

You start to hit the padlock and after many, many tries, it breaks open, sending a walker straight into your face. You swing the wood into the side of its head, effectively lodging it inside. Taking a step over its body, you enter the storage room. There's a first aid kit sitting on the top shelf. You excitedly reach for it, but before your fingertips even graze the kit, the floor creaks below you and breaks.

As you fall, your head hits a pipe, knocking you out prior to you hitting the ground.

-----

Rick was supposed to meet you at this new restaurant a few minutes from your apartment, but he hasn't arrived yet. After waiting for him for about an hour and calling him numerous times, you decided to leave.

Tears brim your eyes as you angrily slam the car door. You thought things were going well with Rick, as you have now been dating for almost a year and a half. But he had been acting, well, weird these last few weeks. His responses were short and quick, he wasn't as affectionate as he used to be and worst of all, it seemed like he was avoiding you like you were the god damn plague. You just chalked it up to him being busy with work, but deep down you felt like it was something else.

Your hands grip the steering wheel tight as you drive home. You didn't want to believe your thoughts. There's no way he would. He'd never cheat. Would he? The thought fills your stomach with nerves and gives you a headache. Your phone starts to vibrate, and you fish it out of your purse and see Rick's name. You take a deep breath trying to steady and compose yourself before answering.

"Hey." You whisper into the phone.

"Baby, I'm so sorry there was a drug bust 30 minutes before my shift was supposed to end and they made me process the guy and you know how long that can take." He rushes out, eager to explain himself.

"It's okay Rick." You say rolling your eyes, you haven't really believed anything that came out of the man's mouth lately.

"No y/n, it's not." He pauses, "I'll make it up to you ok. I'll come over to your place and we can make dinner together and watch one of your romcoms." He tries.

"Yeah, sounds good." You say unexcitedly, not really in the mood to see his face. But you know this will be a good opportunity to bring up the things that has been bothering you.

"Okay, I'll see ya in about 25, okay?"

"Okay." You hang up the phone. You look around and realize you have arrived at your apartment. The call must have made you zone out. The thought makes you cringe as you think of what could have happened by you not paying attention.

You unlock the door to your apartment and shed off your jacket and shoes before plopping on the couch.

Before you know it, Rick is knocking on the door. You open it with a frown covering your lips and Rick's expression quickly changes from excitement to sorrow. You turn around not saying anything to him and sit back down on the couch, crossing your arms. Rick watches you confused before following you and sits down as well.

"Baby?"

You stare straight ahead, not sure how to start this conversation. "Baby, I said I was sorry, there was nothing I could have done. You know we aren't allowed to keep our phones with us while were on shift and how-" You cut him off, whispering "Are you cheating on me?" You ask, sitting rigid.

Rick gasps and thinks he misheard you. "Y/n I would never, ever cheat on you or do anything to mistreat you." He says grabbing your hand as you avoid looking at him. You're already crying, and tears are starting to form in his eyes. "Why would you ever think such a thing?"

You whip your head in his direction, giving him a 'are you fucking kidding me?' look. "Jeez Rick, I don't know, maybe it's because you've been constantly avoiding me, you've been "working" really long hours, you barely touch me let alone kiss me and you won't fucking talk to me!" You finish angrily.

He bites his cheek and shakes his head. "Like I fucking told you a million times, we're short on staff so I need to work those extra hours every god damn day." He says annoyed.

"No, you aren't."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, y/n?" He asks frustrated.

You pick at your nails while you speak, "I called Lori, she said Shane's been home at his usual time every day." You whisper.

"Well, she's fucking lying." Rick yells out as he stands and starts to pace. You give him a begging look. "Please just tell me the truth, Rick."

He stops with his back to you and runs his hands through his hair. "I can't tell you." He says looking down at his feet.

"Then I can't do this anymore." His head snaps over his shoulder in your direction, looking at you with wide eyes. "I-I can't be in a relationship that is filled with lies and deceit. I can't fucking do it Rick."

"Thats not what this is!" He says pointing his finger at you.

"Then what the fuck is this, Rick? You're acting like everything is fine and nifty when really, we need to get our heads out of our fucking assess and figure out what the fuck is wrong with our relationship!"

He places his hands on his hips. "I was planning my proposal."

You look at him shocked. "Sorry?" You ask gulping. He sighs and digs a box out of his pocket before coming to sit at your side. He opens it and shows you the ring. "I went ring shopping today, was the last thing I needed to do before proposing to you on Saturday." Tears prickle your eyes as you delicately pick up the ring. "It was supposed to be fast, I already picked it out online a few days ago but something was wrong with my account and the bank froze it. By the time I tried to call them to fix it, they were already closed. Had to borrow the money from Shane." He says sheepishly.

You look up at him frowning, with tears streaking down your face. "I'm sorry I ruined it." You say as you place the ring back in the box. "You can still do it on Saturday if you want." You say meekly. Rick chuckles and scoops you into his arms, placing you on his lap. Your knees are on either side of his hips as you look down at him, weaving your fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck.

"Oh, I'm still planning on doing it, took me nearly three weeks to plan it out." He says as he rubs his hands up and down your back.

You sigh and lay your head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I never should have accused or blamed you for anything."

He cups your cheek and looks down at you. "I'm sorry for making you think I would ever cheat or do anything to jeopardize our relationship. Y/n I promised when we started dating that I was never going to hurt you and I plan to stick to that." You nod your head and kiss his jaw before sitting up.

"I know you would never do that, but, I mean c'mon baby you were acting so suspicious and weird." You whine. He laughs and cups your cheeks, staring into your eyes. "Do you know how hard it is to keep a secret from you? I don't know how but you know anything about everything. I knew if I was around you for longer than an hour you would have chiseled away on me like you were fucking DaVinci or some shit, and you just fucking did." You let out a giggle as you stare down at him. Rick brings your face down to his, placing kiss on your lips. You pull away and grin at him. "You gonna tell me this plan of yours?"

He chortles at your question. "Not a chance in hell."

You click you tongue and shake your head. "Yeah, didn't think so."

-----

You hear whispering above you, but your eyelids are too heavy to open. It seems far away, like they're conversing on the other side of the room.

"We can't just fucking leave her!"

"Why not?"

"She's hurt and fucking pregnant James!"

"Well, we don't know when or if she's gonna wake up."

You see a light shine above you through your eyelids, making your face scrunch up in discomfort.

"Shh! Guys she's waking up."

#rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes #the walking dead #twd rick #the walking dead x reader #twd x reader #oneshots #imagines #fanfic

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