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the-whispers-of-death · 4 months

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The Stars and the Moon

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Male!Reader Summary: You are outside the base, just staring up at the night sky and enjoying the peace the sight evokes. Ghost joins you. Content: Fluff, so much fluff, Ghost so soft he's most likely ooc, Closed off!Reader, desi!Reader, Reader has been in the military for a while, a tiny bit of cursing (like one bad word). Word Count: 990 words Author's Note: Simon currently has the hold on my brain rot, RIP my love John Price. I'd think he'd love to star-gaze, so I wrote this with him in mind and then he was like "What if I just loved Reader more than the stars and the moon?". He took over my brain to write for me and I just couldn't stop him.

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You stood outside the base, a few steps to the left of the entrance to the base. It was a chilly night tonight, a soft breeze ruffling your clothes and your short-cropped black hair.

Your eyes were on the starry night sky, taking every detail of the twinkling stars and the bright full moon. It was peaceful, a respite from all of the chaos of war.

There was no bloodshed here. No screams of pain that permeated the air. Just you and the stars.

Until you heard the door to the base open and a pair of heavy footsteps walk over to you, interrupting the peaceful silence.

“What are you doing out here, lad?” Ghost asked as he settled right next to you. His honey-brown eyes that were the only features of his that were showing beneath his balaclava and white skull mask went to the night sky, as if he too wanted to find the peace in it that you did.

You sighed, sitting down on the concrete ground, no care that there were chairs that you could’ve sat on. “Just looking at the stars, needed a reminder that not everything is drenched with blood,” you murmured.

Ghost was silent for a few seconds before he grunted and sat down on the concrete, joining you. “Guess the stars, they are pretty.”

That was the last thing he said before silence washed over you two, a familiar occurrence. Both of you had at least ten years in the military, having seen your fair share of traumatic things. So you two often gravitated towards each other, two broken soldiers seeking each other out in hopes you’ll bring out the light in each other.

“Though, you know, you’re more peaceful than the stars ever could be,” Ghost said after a few minutes, his gruff voice so soft that it was barely a whisper. He turned his head to look at you, his piercing brown eyes boring into you, taking in your brown skin that had a few old battle scars on it, your brown eyes which twinkled in the moonlight. “Lad, you know that, don’t you?”

You turned to look at him, raising a brow. “I’m just a soldier, Ghost.”

“Simon.”

No one on the Task Force ever called him “Simon”, except for Price, but even then Price didn’t call him by it that much. And most of the time when others tried to call him by first name, he’d correct them with his call sign. But you… You got to call him “Simon” now.

“Simon,” you said, memorizing the way it rolled off your tongue like it belonged there. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m surely not more peaceful than the stars. They’re breathtaking and a symbol of all that’s left to explore, a symbol of a vast universe. They’ve been written about in poems for centuries to evoke feelings of content and beauty.”

Ghost scooted closer on the concrete to you, his warm gloved hand resting on your thigh. “You’re breathtaking,” he murmured, his voice full of awe. “The way you move, the way you laugh, the way you don’t take any bullshit. It’s breathtaking, absolutely mesmerizing. Sure, the stars are evidence of a vast universe, but who needs a vast universe to explore when there’s you?”

His hand on your thigh tightened and he pulled you closer, so close you were almost sitting on his lap. It was enough to get your heart racing.

“What good are the stars and the moon if they’re not you? They can’t make me feel safe like you can, they can’t make me laugh. They can’t complete me.” His other hand languidly moved along your side, up your neck and jaw until it cupped your cheek, so gentle and tender. “The stars are beautiful, but there’s nothing more beautiful than a good man, a man who knows of war and bloodshed and still fights for the greater good. And that’s you. You could’ve retired by now, settled down, but you’re here. You’re here with me, along side all of us, getting your hands dirty with blood and ashes so that those back home can sleep well at night.”

Your eyes fluttered at his words, your body melting against his touch. “Simon, I’m not all you make me up to be. I’m not some perfect human being.”

Ghost nodded, leaning in until his forehead pressed against yours. “I know. And that what makes me love you.”

His confession took the breath out of your lungs, your eyes wide as you stared into his.

“These past few months that we have grown closer have only made me fall in love with you,” he whispered, his lips so close but so far away due to his balaclava and mask. “And I can’t hold it in anymore. Please, please tell me to stop, to go away, and I will.”

“Don’t,” you replied, shaking your head when he wanted to pull away, your hand reaching for his, which still cupped your cheek. “Don’t leave, don’t go. I’ve fallen in love with you too.”

Your heart ached for him, your mind never strayed from thoughts of him. Of his laugh, his corny jokes, the way his presence filled up a room. On the surface, you thought your want—need—for him to be by your side was because he was your friend, the only one who took one look at your broken, closed off soul and said he’d stay by your side, but you knew that it was deeper than that. You were just as entranced by him as he was by you.

“Stay with me,” you begged softly.

“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” Ghost said, no longer trying to pull away from you. His eyes closed as he pressed his forehead against yours just the tiniest bit harder. “As long as you'll have me, I’m yours.”

“Then let me be your stars and the moon.”

“Be my universe.”

Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated!

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x male reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley fanfiction #ghost cod #call of duty #cod mwii #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw2 #my writing #fanfic #fluff #ghost x male reader #cod x male reader #cod modern warefare 2 #cod #cod x reader #desi!reader #:)

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wufflesvetinari · 2 months

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ok fine, wyllstarion rec list

the demons bade me write this. i have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings and a fabulous bookmarks list. come with me....and you'll be.......in a world of pure wyllstarion nation

note that this is like. an intermediate/advanced, 201-level list. i am trusting you, and assume you've already read asidian's body of work. you've read nothing is safe. you're reading Nothing Like the Sun &etc. Really anything that appears on the first two pages when sorting by bookmarks/kudos is disqualified due to pre-recognized excellence. (you could, however, go read them again)

are you back? good. now read:

"We Happy Few" - @geometea. listen to me. listen. i am looking deeply into your eyes. read this fucking fic. it's hard to shill without spoiling anything, BUT: wyll is a still-pacted grand duke. he used to have a bunch of unresolved romantic tension with astarion and now hasn't spoken to him for 15 years. now take that premise and add body horror, beautiful ominous surreal images, and SURPRISE BIG EMOTIONS. just trust me on this one, guys

"Crossed Blades" - @rebelontherocks. this is a...i think i have to call this a cozy sex romp. wyll and astarion are married, wyll is a busy duke, astarion needs more enrichment, astarion invents a very silly sex game by roleplaying teenage-wyll's smut books. wyll is So Deeply Into It. i love this fic for its characterization, its banter, and its commitment to paralleling character psychology to what sounds like an absolutely wild in-universe smut series (that is sketched with an impressive amount of detail and care tbh??).

"Comfort" - @acephalouscreature. short and sweet. wyll is injured and everyone expects astarion to take care of him. luckily, astarion has a dastardly plan to fake feelings for wyll by thinking about his feelings for wyll. you sure fooled them, astarion!! also featuring: astarion trying to figure out how to comfort someone by thinking about horses

"False Compare" - @jellyfishline. i'd recommend checking out their work generally, but i fell in love with this one first. wyll writes a sonnet! astarion is mean about it until he isn't! deeply in-character with an emphasis on how each of them communicates affection. gorgeous prose

"how to escape the torment nexus" - @ushauz. this series is incredibly unique, set in a fucked-up bad end where wyll is a lemure, astarion is still on the run from cazador, and almost everyone else is dead. where this really shines imo is wyll's POV: he's been through literal hell, doesn't remember his life, and is wading through his unconscious attachment to astarion like a foreign language. (side note also read Heart of Stone for a great lae'zel character piece)

"An Acorn in the Moonlight" - @anonyhex. this is one of the first wyllstarion fics i ever read and it has a special place in my heart!! it's particularly cathartic to read for Wyll reasons, including him actually getting to Have Emotions about what Ulder put him through. and they are so sweet with each other!!

"temporal displacement" - @purplecatghostposts. ok this came out like. yesterday but listen, i LOVE outsider pov of an astarion who's learned to show affection somewhat, seen from the eyes of someone who doesn't know his history and has no reason to suspect All Of That. and when that "outsider" is a dying 20-year-old wyll who just saw astarion step out of a time portal. well.

"nothing to make a song about" - themortal. for when you want something meaty and casefic-adjacent, set in a post-canon where wyll is the blade and not the duke (for once). contains bonding on the road, getting romantically snowed in together, and Symbolic Fetch-Quests.

i am also watching closely: "One of Those Prince-Types" by @lesbianralzarek and "sigh no more" by @tomorrowsrain. both are one chapter in and promise to be meaty, with execution that already feels very very promising

SPECIAL MENTION TO "Like Death (or Birth)" by The_Dancing_Walrus, which has some fraught implied background wyllstarion and is just generally completely baller. astarion kind-of sort-of accidentally adopts yenna, who got fucked up by her time as a potential sacrifice to bhaal. it works! i promise it works

#wyllstarion #bg3 #astarion #wyll ravengard #bloodpact #leading you gently by the hand through wyllstarion nation #fic rec

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itwasthereaminuteago · 3 months

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Just some Dom Frank smut that I've had in my wips for ages 😊

Frank Castle x female reader (with some Billy Russo x reader at the very beginning)

You've got a friends-with-benefits thing going on with Billy and realise you have a little kink which he's not really into, but he has a solution...

Warnings: choking kink, praise, pet names, p in v sex, teasing, begging. Please reblog if you enjoyed so that others may do the same! Please! Thank you 😊

Billy is fucking you hard, driving himself deeper and deeper with every punishing, sinful thrust of his hips, making you lose yourself almost completely. He brings his hand up to caress the side of your face and you arch into his touch as he skims it down the side of your neck to your chest where he pinches and teases your nipples. He grins wickedly, diving down mouthing and grazing his teeth over the plush skin of your tits as you moan. You grasp for his wrist, dragging his hand back up to your neck, whimpering as you can feel your peak drawing ever closer when his fingertips brush over your throat.

But Billy gently draws his hand away. "Scotch." He says. His safeword.

Your eyes widen as the word hits your ears and you try to calm your breathing as you both slow down and come to a stop.

"Oh Billy, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay, kitten." He replies, carefully pulling out and laying down beside you. "I guess we never covered that particular area." He smiles but you still feel awful for trying to get him to do something to you that he isn't entirely comfortable with.

"I- I didn't really know I liked it, until just then… but I'm still sorry, I should have asked you first regardless."

“It's alright, don't worry about it. But hey, I'm glad you've discovered a new kink!" You share a smile as he cuddles you into his arms and kisses you sweetly.

You and Billy had been friends with benefits for a few months now. You were both currently single and relished the opportunity to cut almost completely loose with each other. You found each other attractive, had a lot of fun, and most importantly it was a much-needed tension release after a stressful work day where you just wanted someone else to take control and make you feel good.

Later on that evening he came to you with an unexpected proposal.

"I feel so shitty about leaving you hanging like that before, so I was wondering if you might be cool with me setting you up with a good friend of mine. I think he'd be able to give you what you need, maybe a little bit more than I can?”

You look up from your phone, rapt and curious at the suggestion. "Billy, are you for real? You'd really do that for me?"

He looks surprised that you'd think he wouldn't. "’course I will baby, I just want to see you happy! If you like I'll tell him all your preferences. He'll only go as hard as you want, and you can play here at my place if it makes you feel safer. I'd be there in the next room if you needed me, but Frank's a good guy, he'll take good care of you I promise."

You sit up straighter at the mention of Frank's name. "Wait, it's Frank? You mean your marine buddy Frank?! I didn't know he was into–"

Billy chuckles. "Yeah, not many do. But you like him,” Billy smirks as he teases you, “don't you?"

You give him a sly smile back, he's not wrong. "Well, from what I've seen…" you murmur, thinking about the few times you'd briefly met, once when you went to meet Billy at the gym and Frank came striding out of the showers, shirtless. And then there was the size of his hands…

Billy laughs even louder seeing a dreamy expression cross over your features. "Alright now kitten, don't get all fired up just yet. I'll go see him tomorrow and we'll talk it over okay? See what he says."

You leap into Billy's arms. "You are much too good to me Russo! You know that?"

He nods and kisses the top of your head, still amused. "Yeah, I know."

Frank was apparently very eager to help you out and so Billy arranged a little introductory session for you both at his on the Friday night. Billy had clued you in on what Frank was into as you'd wanted to know, even though this was primarily for your benefit.

"-and you call him 'Sir', yeah?"

You nod. You were melting already.

"Hey girl, think you got a lil bit of drool hanging out the corner of your mouth there…" Billy laughs and you give him a playful punch.

"Shut up! I'm just… a little excited."

"Oh, you should be, baby." You can't help notice Billy's slightly wistful look as he says it. "You're in good hands."

When Friday evening arrives Billy lets you get settled in and informs you that Frank's waiting in his bedroom whenever you're ready. You're slightly nervous but when you open the door and see his large form sitting on the side of the bed suddenly all you feel is a buzz.

"Hey princess, how're you doin'?" He asks in a low drawl along with a smile that makes you want to bark. He looks so damn fine you want to squeal.

Instead you greet him politely, reining in your giddiness and desire. "I'm good thank you, Sir."

Frank grins, a slight chuckle bursting past his lips in a way you found cute. "Did Bill tell you to say that sweetheart? Y'know he's just messin' with you? You can call me Frank if you want."

You return his smile, nodding. "Yes, Sir."

Frank makes a satisfied sound and laughs again, softer this time, his deep brown penetrating gaze making you feel weak at the knees. "Mm, alright. C'mon over here, let me see ya."

Just this simple request has your body feeling like it's ablaze. He stands up as you slowly walk over to him, his eyes running over you like warm honey, taking in the way your soft cotton summer dress hugs your curves, the hem ending just above your mid thigh.

“You're a very beautiful woman.” He says with a note of sincerity and awe, bringing his hand up to gently trace the side of your jaw. You feel the heat flush up into your face.

"What's your safeword honey?"

"Cloud." You reply hazily. You're practically purring already as his fingers graze over your rapidly heating skin.

Frank nods. "That's good, mine's 'bullet'. “How're you feelin' sweetheart?'' he asks, "Think you wanna play some?"

You start to lean into his touch as his thumb strokes across the small smile on your soft lips. "Yeah." You respond, and Frank grunts his approval as you start to lick and suck on his thumb as he gently slides it between your lips.

"Such a good girl. Damn. Bill told me you were needin' a little somethin' extra. S'that right?" he gently probes, and you feel your entire body start to tingle with the anticipation of what he's going to do with you next.

You take the digit deeper into your mouth as he guides you down to kneel in front of him, swirling your tongue around it and hollowing your cheeks to suck just a little while you look up at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah, we're gonna get on real well. How ‘bout we see what else that pretty mouth of yours can do, huh?"

He slowly palms over the noticeable bulge at the crotch of his jeans and you can feel the saliva filling your mouth, dripping out of the corner as he presses his thumb down against your tongue. Yes sir, please sir you think as you nod slowly as he removes it and unbuckles his belt. The clinking sound of it being undone has you soaking into your silky underwear already. This is what you need. Just him to keep telling you what to do, to take complete control of your body and mind and make you feel like nothing else matters.

As he pulls his cock out in front of your face you can't stop your eyes widening and the eager moan that escapes you. He's big, long and thick, and as he strokes himself to full hardness you shift about on your knees, your tongue darting out to wet your lips as you catch sight of a drop of precum leaking from his tip.

"Look at you, so damn perfect an' all ready f'me.”

You push up onto your knees, keeping your hands to yourself until he tells you otherwise, your mouth open and tongue out flat and wide as you wait for him to give you what you're craving. Instruction.

“Yeah, that's right. You know what to do princess."

His cock is mere inches from your mouth, just out of reach. He finally moves forward to rub the head of it over your waiting tongue, moaning as the addictive musky taste of him spreads across it. You slide your mouth on, stretching your lips over the fat head of his dick, closing your eyes as you slowly begin to suck on it.

"Ah-ah sweetheart, look at me. Eyes on me." He corrects, watching you take a little more of him in, beginning to move back and forth and shallowly fuck your mouth as you obey and look back up at him. He groans letting his head fall back as you lap your tongue along the bulging vein on the underside.

"Oh yeah, that's real good baby. Gonna give you some more just like you want, huh?"

You moan your agreement around his impressive girth as you pull back and ready yourself to swallow him deeper. He's gentle at first, he pushing his fingers through your hair, cradling the back of your head lightly as you take him in as far as you can, gagging slightly until you can figure out how to breathe. Your eyes start to water as you gaze up at him. He's telling you that you look so damn pretty, and you feel the wetness between your thighs increase ten fold as his big hand and thick fingers wrap around your throat to guide you.

"Oh- fuck- attagirl, there we go, fuck that's it."

You think he's gonna finish off in your mouth the way he's groaning and grunting fucking your mouth, obviously enjoying the way you're taking him and letting him use you. But you're silently begging him with your eyes not to, because you're throbbing, aching for him to get inside of you, to be able to feel that massive dick fucking you until you can't think thoughts.

Thankfully he slows his movements, pulling out his dick and wiping your messy spit covered chin with his thumb. He lifts you up to your feet and gently pushes you back on the bed where you land with a soft bounce. As you struggle to regain your breath he's chuckling at your gawking stare as he strips out of his clothes revealing his muscular chest, defined rows of abs and thick thighs that you dream of being suffocated between.

"Hope you weren't thinkin’ I was neglectin' that pretty little pussy of yours..."

Of course he knows what you're thinking but you still shake your head. "No sir." you mewl, your body aflame from the way his eyes rove over you. Frank prowls up your body, his hand slipping up under the hem of your dress and gently cupping your mound, middle fingers stroking so teasingly up over your folds through your damp underwear. You yelp as he takes his hand away only to slap your cunt hard, the pleasurable pain jolting through your whole body like an electric shock.

"Don't lie to me."

"N-no sir!" You whimper as he rubs you again through the flimsy fabric, grinning as he feels the fresh flood of your arousal soak his fingers.

"Well shit. Look at that baby. You like sucking cock that much?"

"I like sucking your cock, sir." You pant, trying to grind yourself against his hand for some immediate relief. He lifts it away, slapping your pussy lightly again making you cry out in frustration.

"Gimme a colour sweetheart."

Billy had said that you would be in good hands. You were gonna have to get him a present or something for this.

'G-green!"

"That's a good girl." He smirks, curling his fingers over the waistband of your panties, peeling them down your ass away from your soaking core, and inching them ever so slowly down your trembling thighs.

"Heard you don't like bein' teased, princess…"

Your mind reels wondering where he's going with this, your breath shallow and fast as he bares you to him, tossing your ruined underwear across the bedroom. He kneels on the bed at your feet,

"On your hands and knees f'me."

He commands and you obey. It's that simple. He takes his time appraising you, his fingers drifting over your ass cheeks and carefully rucking up the hem of your dress to your waist.

"Cute." He remarks, noting how your breathing changes as he moves up behind you, his hand resting on your hip. You gasp you feel the firm head of his cock run between the folds of your puffy, sopping cunt. He rubs it up and down the length of your slit, over and over so slowly, and every time you think he's going to sink right in and fill you full he doesn't. You want nothing else so badly but to push back into him, to have him thrust inside and probably split you in half but he hasn't said that you're allowed to.

You want to scream.

"Doin' real good for me, such a good girl."

You shiver at the praise, but you need more, he has to understand how much you need him.

"Yeah, you want me to give you some more don't you? I know, I know sweetheart." He says soothingly while pushing his cock forward between your legs and bumping the head up against your clit. When he draws away yet again you can't stand the tease anymore and you break.

"Fuck, please!" you whine.

Frank smacks his hand down on your ass cheek and you cry out, heat blooming out over your skin as he runs his palm over the stinging spot.

"Please what?" He asks you so casually, as if he's completely ignorant to the fact you're almost dripping wet down the inside of your thighs.

"Please, sir… I-I need it, n-need your cock so bad, please!" You try, staring straight ahead as you dip your back, making your hips tilt up hoping he'll see just how ready you are for more. You breathe out a shaky whimper of relief as you feel the warmth and pressure of his giant hand grip around the back of your neck holding you still as he takes his cock in hand and slides it close to where you're aching for him to shove it. But he doesn't, and he so clearly knows what it's doing to you.

You want this teasing, this cruel punishment and yet can't stop your pathetic sobs of desperation, can't stop the tears from rolling down your flushed cheeks as you plead with him repeatedly.

"Shh-shh c'mon pretty girl, you know I got you." He says shushing you gently. "Deep breaths f'me hm? You good?"

You manage to drag in a shuddering lungful of air so you can tell him you want this, you want him to keep going, keep making you feel.

His fingers grip the back of your neck tighter when he hears your confirmation to continue and finally– he gives you what you need, forcing the thick head of his cock into your needy pussy. You moan and mewl as he stretches you open, despite how wet and ready you thought you were it's still a tight fit and he pauses for a few seconds, feeling you contract around his tip.

"S'that what you need huh? Feel good?"

You groan as he holds himself still, only the first couple of inches of him inside you. Then he moves, so slow that the tears return, running down the drying tracks on your skin as he thrusts gently back and forth, only fucking you with the very tip of his cock. Pushing in and popping out, so painfully slowly, in and out, again and again.

"Mm, that's all you deserve for now baby. That's all you're gettin' till you play nice."

The next time he pulls out he smacks his hard length down against your ass, thrusting himself between the cleft of your cheeks for a while leaving you completely empty. You do nothing, say nothing, just moan and let him use your body until he wants to reward you. And reward you he does…

You inhale sharply as you feel the sudden loss of contact, but then he buries his face in your cunt and starts licking and fucking you with his tongue. He grips firmly around your thighs, pulling you back, flush with his hot mouth as he works you up until your legs are shaking. You gasp as the coil deep inside tightens as he keeps it up, reacting to the increasing pitch and volume of your moans. You're gonna come any second and you know he's not told you that you can, that you're allowed to. You don't know what to do, the feeling is welling up from deep inside, it's getting closer and he won't let up, craning his neck to flick your clit with the tip of his tongue and delve his tongue into the steady stream of slick arousal leaking out of you.

Fuck, god… please, just a little more, so close, it feels so fucking good- almost… there–

Frank stops, pulls away.

You're shaking, crying, your cunt is throbbing.

He stopped.

Suddenly you don't know which way is up, whimpering as he spears you with his cock, sliding all the way into you until you can feel his hip bones hard up against your ass. You twitch and pulse around him at the sensation.

Fuck it's so good it's so good, you babble as he drags you up off your hands, his arms binding you to his warm chest as he starts to rut you hard and fast, his beautiful fat cock dragging so deep against your soft inner walls. Frank claps a hand over your breast, squeezing and fondling then tugging and pinching hard at your nipple while his other massive paw slides upwards to your neck, and you whimper and whine as it easily circles your entire throat. You lean into it, showing him that this is what you wanted, what you were being a good girl for. He holds you firmly while his hips thrash, fucking you so hard you can't speak, can't think about anything else but how perfect it feels, how you want nothing else but for him to fill you up, use you how he pleases.

He tightens his grip and growls as your pussy squeezes around him in response.

"Yeah," he rasps into the side of your neck, his skin smacking against your ass every time he thrusts up into you. You can feel his heavy balls almost brushing your clit. "Good girl… c'mon and let me hear you."

Every time he buries himself inside a pitiful little whimper falls from your open mouth. You wonder if Billy is listening next door, maybe getting off on the sound of the two of you fucking.

Frank's tightening, vice-like grip snaps you back to the moment and you're aching for him and starting to get a little lightheaded which makes everything feel so much more intense.

“Fraaank…” you pant.

"You close sweetheart? Goddamn, I know it, can feel you flutterin' honey, feels so good."

He's relentless in the way that he fucks you, but it's not without tenderness and sensuality. His lips kiss the sweaty skin of your shoulder as he holds you upright, your back flush against his broad chest, his hand still around your neck and one splayed over your stomach as he starts to ram his cock repeatedly right into that perfect spot.

“C'mon sweetheart, I got you,” he grunts, "go on, go off for me baby...”

When his hand slides down lower and you feel the electric sensation of the rough pads of his fingertips start rubbing over your slick clit, there's no going back. You're a hot, whimpering mess ready to fall over the edge.

He half-whispers, voice low and gruff by your ear. “Fuck that's it, fuck, yeah…”

He slams up into you as your body finally quakes around him and you let go completely with an uninhibited moan of pleasure, feeling the rolling fire of your orgasm exploding out in powerful waves through every nerve. You're barely aware of anything after that, only half registering the deep groan of satisfaction from Frank as he finishes inside you with several slow, deep rolls of his hips.

Everything feels warm and gooey, sounds are muted and distant for a while until you hear him again as you slowly come to, blinking your heavy eyelids open to his concerned voice.

“Hey, hey… you okay sweetheart?”

You gradually become aware that you're being held, warm and grounded. Frank's propped up on the mound of pillows at the headboard and you're laying against his broad chest as he trails his fingertips gently up and down the outside of your arm.

“Not too much?” He asks, angling his head to make eye contact with you.

You reach up your hand around the back of his head, leaning up as you pull him down to kiss him for the first time. It's a sweet kiss, relaxed and easy considering all that you've just done together. He's got the cutest smile you've ever seen on his face after you break away, this big unit of a man is maybe even blushing slightly.

“No this was perfect, thank you so much Frank, I couldn't really ask for more.” He hands you a glass of water and you kinda do wish you could indulge yourself a little more and lie in his arms for longer, but you're aware that Billy's just outside and you both should probably get cleaned up anyway. As you carefully push yourself up you can't help notice Frank seems almost reluctant to break up your little post coital moment.

“Y'know, anytime you need a little somethin’, you just let me know, hm?” Frank offers, and you know you'll definitely be taking him up on that. You slip out of bed and he's right there making sure you don't fall over your own wobbly legs on the way to the ensuite to shower.

“You comin' with me, big guy?” you ask him with a raised brow and a soft smile, glad when he returns it and shadows you, turning on the hot spray of the shower and helping you wash.

When you emerge Frank heads into the kitchen to pour you all a drink and you go to find Billy. He's in his office with his headphones on and gives you a smirk when he sees your blissed out expression, taking the headset off and putting it on the desk.

“Looks like you might've had some fun. Frankie, did you treat her right?!” he shouts through to the kitchen, and you can't help the huge grin that splits your face.

“Yeah he most definitely did.” You reply, your fingers playing with a pen on the edge of his desk. “I was thinking that maybe, we could all have some fun together next time..?”

“Oh we're already planning a next time are we?” Billy teases, and you smack him on the arm, shushing him as Frank appears in the doorway to hand you both a glass of bourbon each.

“You can count me in.” Frank responds before taking a sip and Billy grins.

You couldn't wait.

#frank castle x female reader #dom!frank castle #frank castle smut

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outofmydepthatapublicbeach · 3 months

Text

on the balcony- Julien Baker x fem!reader

summary: After a long leg on tour, you and Julien are talking at a small get-together with the band and all the crew. You find yourselves alone on a balcony, and something gets confessed.

jj chats: hiii everyone!! this is my first kind of real fic!! i really hope you all enjoy it!! my requests box is opened and i would love to get some of y'alls ideas!!! see you later by gorgeous gorgeous people!!! <333

word count: 800ish

warnings: RPF, kissing, they're both v awkward, i think that is it!!!

feedback is encouraged and i'd love to get some just please be kind!!!

The party was starting to get stuffy, the air was humid from the heat emitted from the bodies of your friends and co-workers. They were celebrating the end of a successful American leg of the up-and-coming band; boygenius. The lead singers and band were somewhere in the middle of everything, everyone talking their ears off. You held a water bottle in your hand, taking a swig from it in an attempt to cool down.

In the crowd, you spied your favorite ⅓ of boygenius: Julien Baker. You two had grown a close bond throughout the tour. In the beginning, she was quite opposed to the service you offered: make-up. But when one of the first shows in the scorching heat of summer left Julien’s pretty face completely sunburned, she figured you might know how to prevent that.

You bonded over tinted sunscreen and the lip gloss. You thought that was it at first. But after the first show she had implemented your advice she had come up to you, generously thanking you for their help.

“It’s probably not! Just doing my job!” You blushed, nervous about the tattooed woman in front of you.

To your surprise Julien looked almost as nervous as you felt, she spoke “Hey, could I have your number? In case I need any more help with skincare or makeup or something!” a dry laugh left her lips.

You practically ripped your phone out of your pocket, handing it to her. She entered her number and smiled before walking away.

Later that night, on your way to your hotel you got a text: Hey! It’s JB! Want to meet up for breakfast tomorrow? We don’t have rehearsals until the afternoon.

Your heart practically jumped out of your chest and that’s when you knew you couldn’t just be her friend.

At about the same time you saw Julien in the crowd, she saw you. In a not-so-graceful way, she excused herself and made her way over to you, almost tripping on a bunched-up rug on her way.

“Hey you,” Julien smiled, her hands empty, one finding their way into the pockets of her Carhart zip-up. “What’re you doing all by yourself?”

You sighed, pointing to your fellow makeup artist, who was currently wrapped in a guitar tech's arms, swaying to the music that sounded like a whisper at this moment. “Got ditched. But it's okay. I was about to leave anyway, parties aren’t really my thing.”

“Yeah I’m not a big fan of parties either, do you want to go somewhere quieter?” She asked, looking at you with big brown eyes that reflected purple due to the LED lights that lined the room you were currently in.

“I’d love that, let's go.” Out of habit with other friends, you went to grab her hand. Julien tensed for a split second, before wrapping her fingers around your hand as you led her out of the room and into a hallway, maneuvering between couples pressed against walls and friends laughing until you eventually made it to a balcony that overlooked the city. The breeze was cool, which left you chilly, but the warmth from the woman next to you and the giddiness that heated your heart was enough to make you forget all about the cold. You turned to face Julien again, taking in all the features of her face.

She was staring out into the city, a slight smile forming on her face as she watched the skyline twinkle like stars do in the sky. You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone as beautiful. You turned back to the city, your eyes focusing on a particular car that was zooming down the streets.

“Beautiful.” You heard Julien whisper next to you.

“Yeah the city is so pretty at night.” you giggle.

“No-” a pause, “No I mean you. You’re beautiful.” Julien said, her voice raising itself an octave.

You turned to Julien to see her face flushing. “I think you’re beautiful too J,” You smile, as your face heats up.

The moment freezes, and suddenly all that is real in the world is the woman standing in front of you, before you know it you’re both leaning forward, gentle lips pressing together. Her hand that is encased with yours tightens, while the other moves to cup your face, pulling you into her. Your chest flushed against each other, lips now crashing together, less gentle, more need.

Suddenly Julien pulls away, then breathlessly says “I like you, like really like you, and I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I met you.”

You can feel your heart swell a lot before saying “I like you too.” The two of you stand there giggling like teenagers for a while before you decide to rejoin the party. But for the rest of the night, your hand never leaves Julien’s.

#julien baker x reader #julien baker fanfic #julien baker fluff #boygenius x reader #lgbtq #lesbians #makeup artist! reader

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misthogansnk · 6 months

Note

I’m requesting for some fluffy and romantic Syzoth/reader content lol

Syzoth love at first sight and then getting to know each other (I’m okay with fem reader or GN I’ll leave that up to you. :) )

I hope you like it and thank you very much for the request 🥹🐊💚

Remember that I am accepting requests for Syzoth x f.reader🐊🐊

Syzoth x FemReader (fluffy/romantic)

Syzoth had barely arrived at Earthrealm, having fulfilled his promise to bring Johnny and the others to the portal. He was greeted by Liu Kang who told them to go to the monks, but it was not until then that she appeared. "Lord Liu Kang, do you request my help?" y/n spoke, her voice was the first thing that captivated him, he instinctively directed his gaze towards her, oh my gods, in her eyes she was beautiful, he smiled shyly as he watched and was captivated by every feature of that woman. . beautiful. He never thought that a hot blood would captivate him, but the intrigue and the desire to get closer took over him more and more, it was only two minutes that he saw her, but in her mind they were an eternity.

Unfortunately he had not seen her again, it had been a week since he saw her for the first and only time. She tried to forget him and focused on trying to fit in. She didn't know how long she would have to stay there or if she would ever be able to return home. He felt uncomfortable under the gaze of the monks.

"Don't pay attention to other people's looks, they only judge without knowing" Syzoth had his back turned but he recognized that voice, his heart was racing and he didn't understand, he knew it was her, because he was sweating cold, his stomach seemed like a feast of butterflies, alone He saw her from afar once, what was wrong with her? Why was he embarrassed to look at her? "Are you OK?" he y/n he had spoken again but this time she touched his shoulder, she had touched him and he couldn't react, he felt helpless. "You cast a spell on me!" Syzoth uttered with his cheeks flushed with a greenish tone, but not before realizing his words and covering his face "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, forgive me, I didn't mean to..." looking away quickly but Something made him nervous and he turned his reality around, the laughter of the woman that attracted him so much. She wasn't a mocking laugh, she was tender, almost nervous. "Well, first of all let me introduce myself, my name is Y/n, and from what I was told you must be Syzoth, it's my pleasure" his warm smile was reciprocated "The pleasure is all mine y/n"

"I brought you something, I know you have problems with human food and I also know you ate a bug."

Syzoth just scratches the back of his neck again embarrassed "Johnny..."

Y/n hands him a container with a lid "My duty is to make you feel comfortable, and I thought you would be hungry, I bought this at the market, they are insects, I don't know if you like them or not." ...be careful when you open it, I had a hard time putting them there" her green eyes fixed on her, he had gotten her the food. "You shouldn't have done that y/n, thank you very much."

"Do you mind if I join you for lunch? I want you to feel at home, and by the way, if you don't mind, I'd like to hear stories."

"Doesn't it make you sick to see me eating bugs?"

"Of course not, who knows if I'll eat one too" she winks at him making him notice her little joke and in response Syzoth takes her hand taking her to a quiet place to get to know each other better. The days pass and their routine intertwines their hearts. Lunch together, walks, and late-night talks brought them closer and closer. Syzoth used to pick flowers in the gardens to decorate Y/N's hair.

Kung Lao saw them together once, and it didn't take long for him to tell everyone that a huge lizard was sleeping on Y/n's lap and that in the process he was pampered like a kitten and that he even saw them kiss, which intensified the banter and Johnny's comments. This helped though, since they hadn't actually had their first kiss yet, but they were more than determined that on their next walk they would make the rumors true.

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sunshine-theseus · 6 months

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Midas' Touch

Cortnee Vine x Reader Summary: It's hard not to fall in love with a girl like that warnings: - not completely proof read. - i haven't written for fun in so long and i suck at knowing if i'm using the correct tense so i'm sorry about that😭

It's hot. Too hot to be doing much more than rondos and some light running for warm up before heading back to change into our kits and hear a few last words from Garrath.

And that's exactly what we do. Well, until I spot flaming red hair out of the corner of my eye as I'm heading back to the tunnel. The feature is familiar on its own, but odd when combined with the sky-blue jersey that adorns her.

A smile that could warm even the coldest of hearts is thrown my way and I stumble over the back of Holly's foot. I quickly apologise before scurrying back to the locker room.

I had only met Cortnee at the World Cup, when I got my first call up for The Matildas. We weren't close in comparison to people like Kyra and Charlie, but we roomed together and got to know each other reasonably well.

This was the first time I'd seen her since our defeating departure and I'm more nervous than I was during my debut. I had admittedly developed somewhat of a crush on her during the World Cup, but I'd managed to forget about it within the whirlwind of transferring back to the Brisbane Roar from Liverpool.

Until now.

~~~~~

I'm lining up when I spot Tameka approaching me with Harley, who is dressed in a number 13 Roar jersey that is 3 times too big for her. Before they get too far, Harley is running full speed into my open arms, giggling as I sprinkle her face with kisses.

Meeks was originally in the starting XI, but Garrath made the decision she would make a good boost after half time when players began to tire. That meant Harley was now my mascot, and I have no complaints because she'd the cutest little thing, unless she starts blabbering secrets. Which she tends to do, a lot, when she's excited.

"Are you sure you're okay with her? She can be a lot."

I smile softly at both of them.

"Of course it’s fine. She’s a sweetheart”, and with that, Tameka says goodbye and walks out to the sub bench with the others.

As I’m putting Harley back down so I can hold her hand on the walk out, I see the same flash of red hair pass by. I’m following her with my eyes when Harley tugs on my hand and whispers “Have you ‘n’ Cortnee kisseded yet?”

I can feel myself burning up, but simply shake my head no before grabbing her hand and following the rest of the team out onto the pitch as she giggles softly beside me.

~~~~~

It gets worse as we begin to shake hands with the Sydney. I’m last, and Harley’s starting to spew random words and facts she knows as we walk down the line. Cortnee is a mere metre away when Harley begins waving to her and jumping up and down, begging for her attention.

I shake Cortnee’s hand and I nearly choke at how beautiful she is up close. Her eyes are brighter than I remember, and her hair is golden under the burning sun, her freckles are like constellations and I nearly reach up to trace them.

But our greeting is cut short when Harley jumps into her arms and asks “is it hard being away from your girlfriend?”

Not a second later, Tameka has Harley in her arms again and Cortnee and I are blushing, but I’m moving onto the next person before we can say another word, trying not to look back at her as she jogs back and forth lightly before taking her position.

I don’t know how I forgot it. The rush of the pre-game had me occupied, but as I plant my feet on the ground, the fact I’m always her marker, even in scrimmages at camp, hits my like a truck and I know this may possibly be the hardest game I’ll ever play if I can’t get her out of my head.

~~~~~

I had been doing pretty well so far if I do say so myself. I’d managed to stay focused on the game and had converted a free kick from Sharn into a goal in the 27th minute that put us in the lead: 1-0.

But now my focus is beginning to waver, at possibly the worst possible moment. It’s the 88th minute and Sydney was just awarded a corner. We’re all gathered at the goal, marking whoever we could, to stop the ball that was about to come flying in, from crossing the line. But as I’m pushing back into the player behind me, I feel her hands on my hips and warm air hits the back of my neck.

I’m turning to tell her off, but my breath gets caught in my throat again. Why won’t she leave me alone. Let me focus on this game before smiling so sweetly at me and sending sparks through my body.

Cortnee cheekily nudges me forward as the ball curves through the air but I can’t stop myself from falling to the ground, my focus has been completely removed from the ball. And yet… I still manage to stop it as it rolls, or more so is kicked into my face rather harshly in an attempt for Sydney to score an equaliser.

A groan resounds across the pitch but I’m standing before the ref can try to call the medics over. I’m not letting a little ball to the face stop the game this close to the end, I’m exhausted and can’t take more than whatever added time we’ll already receive. Well, that’s what I’d like to think.

“Nice try Y/L/N but you know the rules! You’re getting checked for a concussion, don’t try to fight it.”

Such a nice lady, yet suddenly the bane of my existence.

The concussion assessment takes no more than 30 seconds, and by the time I’m running back on, we’ve started the (gratefully) 2 minutes of added time. The medics also add the fact I haven’t broken my nose but I will develop a nice bruise that may scare Harley and my niece and nephew for a few weeks.

~~~~~

I’m standing back in front of Cortnee when the final whistle blows, Brisbane won, we’ve won, 1-0. Before I can take off to hug and celebrate with my team, the bright hair and cheeky dimples are the only things in sight. And before I can try and comfort her for her loss, lips softer than I could have ever imagined, are pressing hard against my own.

I’m not sure I’d ever reacted faster than I had in that moment, grabbing her face while her hands wrap around my waist. But I pull back with a wince and lightly grab my nose.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since our first match at the world cup when you scored your first goal” she whispers softly.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I first laid eyes on you” In that moment I think about how I’ve never seen someone as beautiful as her.

“Well, I guess Harley knew something we didn’t”.

“She knows to get what she wants. I think she secretly set us up”.

“The three-year-old?” I giggle and peck her on the lips.

“She has her ways”.

“Does this make us… girlfriends?” I quickly ask.

“I’d fucking hope so”.

I grab Cortnee’s hand and drag her over to Sharn, Tameka and Harley, the youngest of which has a cheeky smile as she screams “CORTNEE AND Y/N KISSEDED” and claps her hands.

~~~~~~~~~~

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT IS THE CUTEST FUCKING STORY EVER” Alex screams as we sit on the pitch, warming down from today’s training.

We’re back at camp for the Asian Olympic Qualifiers, and it’s the day before our match against the Philippines. Cortnee had wanted to have the physio check out her leg, the tension in her hamstring seeming to be causing her more grief than anyone wants, so I was sitting with Alex, Mini and Sam. It’s an odd combination but I’m glad to be getting to know more of the girls.

“That was actually fucking sickening. Kristie is going to love hearing it later.” Sam laughs at the mention of her own girlfriend.

“I genuinely think that was what Harper and Harley spent their time on all of last camp because she kept asking about you two as well. But it was about damn time.” The comment from Mini has me slightly shocked. Was there anyone who didn’t think we should get together?

Before I can ask anything, Tony is calling us to gather round to say some words and give us feedback before sending us back to the hotel. I’m standing on the end when two arms snake around my waist and a gentle kiss is pressed to the top of my head. I lean back into her but don’t say anything until we’re told to get going.

“What did she say?” I lean into her some more as we walk back to the locker room.

“It’s just a little tension, I’ll be okay to play tomorrow”

~~~~~

She most certainly was not okay to play. Cortnee was subbed on and within 10 minutes was back sitting next to me on the sub bench with an ice pack on her thigh.

To give her credit, the injury was predominantly from a collision on the pitch, but I was selfishly mad she didn’t tell me. So, while I held her hand as we took a lap around the pitch and signed shirts and took photos with fans at the end of the game, I didn’t talk to her.

Or in the locker room.

Or on the bus to the hotel.

Or at dinner.

Or as I watched her pack her bags and leave back to Sydney because she needed to start healing as soon as possible.

All I did was give her a peck on the lips and watch her uber drive away.

An hour later she texted me about a fan she’d met at the airport, who was shaking so bad she had to take the photo. I liked it but didn’t reply.

But now it was our final match day, and I don’t have Cortnee to have breakfast with, something that had become somewhat of a tradition for us whenever we could.

I have no clue as to why I’m so mad about it, but as I sat with Sam and Steph at breakfast, I knew I needed to at least call her and apologise. So I did.

The phone rings, almost too many times, but eventually the girl I love is staring back at me.

“I’m so sorry for ignoring you!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you!”

The lines are rushed out by both of us, probably louder than need be as I get weird looks from some of the girls.

“No no you have no reason to apologise Cort, I literally got so mad for no reason, I should be helping you heal not ignoring you!”

“I still should have told you, let you help me. I love you and you just want the best for me.” We’d never actually said those words. But I blurt them out before I can stop myself.

“I love you too!”

Everyone around me is giggling as I blush.

I look back to Cortnee on my screen. She’s out in her backyard, laying on the grass, her hair is splayed behind her, golden, touched by the hand of Midas. Her eyes are as blue ever, her cheeks rosy, dimples deep. Then I hear her laugh and I don’t think I could love anyone more because I’m melting in my seat as we quickly bid each other goodbye.

That night I play for her, and as we celebrate, Sam and I both call our respective partners together to let them know. And when we hang up I turn to Sam, unable to stop smiling.

“I’m going to love her forever.”

#woso x reader #cortnee vine x reader #the matildas x reader

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deeply-unserious-fellow · 1 month

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...The love potion is Hell Viagra. Guys tHE LOVE POTION IS HELL VIAGRA-

Like okay maybe its not *exactly* that. I don't think Viagra like, actively turns ppl on or whatever, BUT I think it's primary intended purpose IS something similar. It's get horny juice. Cuz like, think about it for a second. Why sell something that's JUST advertised as a date r*pe drug? Why would you do that? Like, I get that it's hell, and bad people gonna do bad things, but the audience for that kind of thing is probably relatively limited. Plus, there are definitely people down there that would be VERY put off by a company that sells something being actively advertised as for date r*pe. Like, a lot of the sinners we see seem to be. Normal people. Which is also why Val shooting up the hotel would be considered bad for the Vees image- A lot of the truly nasty shit the Vees do has got to be kept at least kind of under wraps because a decent portion of Hell's population probably still wouldn't be okay with actively supporting that shit, no matter how much they're being encouraged to indulge in their worst impulses. It's like how, in jail, a lot of the time ppl will gang up on the worst criminals and beat the shit out of them or smthn. Like even the drone ad that explicitly stated one of the features was spying on your neighbors felt more like it was implying just spying rather then like, peeping on them naked. People are more likely to openly say they've been sticking their nose into their neighbors business then they are to say they've been peeping. Still not good, but like. Vaguely more socially acceptable and appealing to a wider market.

There's also the fact that, from the advertisements we've seen, it doesn't really look like that's what it's being advertised for? One of them is Velvette doing a magical girl pose and the other is Val(who is the porn guy. Aka the romanticized sex genre) and Vel just like, laying there together all sexy like. It's vague, but none of it, besides the name if you're genre savy(which I'd like to point out that not everybody is involved in media criticism enough to realize the issues w/ the love potion trope, which wasn't even taboo until a couple years ago tbh), really screams "use this to make people have sex with you against their will!" That, along with the fact that the love potion definitely CAN'T act how love potions normally do in fiction(making the person who ingested it fall deeply, head-over-heals in love with specifically the person that gave it to them), because that would be too difficult to mass produce, and the other usual approach(fall in love with the first person you see) is just too impractical unless someone is truly desperate, I think the use that gets ADVERTISED is "use this to make your sex better and more fun, just like in those pornos we also sell!(buy our shit)" rather than date r*pe.

That doesn't mean I think the Vees like. Actively discourage other uses though. A sale's a sale and one of them is fucking Valentino there's no way they care that much. Any negative reviews along the lines of "somebody used this to fucking drug me" probably get deleted and nothing is ever done about it because, in the end, as long as the suffering is invisible nobody's gonna care. This take doesn't really make the Vees any less shitty, it just makes them more ~realistically~ shitty.

It also makes the love potion a little bit funnier. Like just a lil bit. Bcuz it means you can make Hell Viagra jokes :)

#hazbin hotel #the vees #hazbin velvette #hazbin valentino #hazbin vox #it's applicable to all of them so why not #analysis #gal overanalyzes random shit

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vickysaurus-art · 5 months

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My art in 2023

January

Microraptor and the Flowers. I started this year out making paleoart watercolours and never really stopped. This one is about a Microraptor investigating the first flowers she's ever seen. The flowers are Lingyuananthus, a lovely little fossil flower described in an even lovelier paper that was not behind a paywall for once.

February

Orthocones Descend. Having moved into a new apartment and made a timeline covering the walls, the paleozoic looked awfully empty, so I made a big effort to expand my horizons and do art showing creatures I'd never drawn before. Showing orthocones descending vertically on their prey made for a fun composition too.

March

Sinosauropteryx does not want to share its tree. I still can barely believe we know the colours of both Sinosauropteryx and Psittacosaurus. Dinosaur colours always felt like something we'd never figure out without literal actual time travel before we figured them out.

April

Hadrocodium's mossy home. I got the idea for one of the tiniest mammals of all time making its home in some moss on a tree while hiking in Switzerland and coming across some truly impressive moss beards.

May

Procompsognathus's cliff climb. Although the foreground cliff itself and the contrast between foreground and background didn't come out quite as well as I'd hoped, I still really like this art featuring the three main branches of archosaur (dinosaur, pterosaur, and pseudosuchian).

June

Anomalocaris, Dragon of the Cambrian. The realisation that most Cambrian creatures were tiny gave me the idea of a whole bunch of them hiding from a 40 cm long Anomalocaris while in positions reminiscent of a D&D party facing off against a dragon.

July

Caihong and the Kalligrammatids. Kalligrammatids were neuropterans that superficially resembled large butterflies, but unlike them their wings were transparent! I combined them with the gorgeous iridescence of Caihong and backlighting for a fun experiment.

August

Spring on the mammoth steppe. When the time came to do some art set in the Quaternary, I decided to depict a real life location and how it would have changed in the past few hundred thousand years. This spot is just west of Baden-Baden (which is in the glacier valley to the upper left), on the edge of the Schwartzwald. I also enjoyed depicting an ice age spring. It wasn't always snow and ice.

September

Darwinius and Geiseltaliellus's stare-off. The Paleogene was the last remaining Phanerozoic period I hadn't done any art of, so I drew this little scene in the Messel Pit formation.

October

Inostrancevia family at sunrise. I hadn't drawn Permian synapsids in a while at this point so they were overdue for a paleoart. I also felt like going absolute ham with my reds. The sunrise and Permian volcanism made for a convenient excuse but really, this is just for me.

November

Wind, Courage, and Wings. This one's a birthday gift for my friend, depicting a lovely fable in Genshin Impact about how the wind god Barbatos taught the first birds to fly.

December

The Zanclean Flood. 6 million years ago, the movement of the continents cut the Mediterranean off from the oceans. Since more water evaporates from the Mediterranean than it receives from rivers, this resulted in the sea drying up and becoming an incredibly deep, dry, salty lowland. Until 5.3 million years ago, when the Strait of Gibraltar formed and the entire sea was refilled in a massive flood. This depicts the early days of said flood seen from the tip of the Rock of Gibraltar.

If you've enjoyed my art this year, consider leaving me a tip! Or have a look at last year's art too.

#paleoart #my art #palaeoblr #2023 #my art in 2023 #watercolour #definitely not gonna tag every creature appearing in these #cw: bugs

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praeluxius · 2 years

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Picturesque Undressed - Viviz/Gfriend Umji

18+ Umji x Male Reader smut

Masterlist

Word count: 4,133

Five years—not that any of them would know it. Five years since you were hired as a student photographer and freelancer to shoot promotional pictures for Gfriend. You’ve been a fan ever since, and when the opportunity arose to work with both Cosmopolitan and Viviz on a promo shoot, you snatched at the chance. Although you understood that your pictures wouldn’t make the editorial, you had the opportunity to place these three girls in your viewfinder yet again, always amazed by the view you would find. It may only be half of the group you remember, but it’s three more than you had seen in a long time.

The shoot had just ended, much to the relief of all the staff and the final solo shoot model: Umji. You take a seat and scroll through the pictures you took—some of these will be great behind-the-scenes shots. If any of these three girls have changed the most over the past few years—it’s the maknae. Gone is the shy nineteen-year-old who teased her unnies for years, replaced by a confident young woman who deployed an arsenal of sultry gazes throughout the shoot.

You flick to the first shot of Umji’s solo shoot.

Taking an attractive photo of Umji as she posed with pouted lips was maybe the easiest snap of your life. Under the studio lighting, her complexion glowed, every detail of her soft skin highlighted. Her eyes, in particular, seemed to captivate everyone in the room; the white eyeliner enhanced one of her best features. The exposed shoulder and collarbone demanded equal attention as the striped shirt clung to one shoulder but fell completely off the other.

You flick quickly past the one with her exposed back for fear of becoming far too excited. You recall taking the photo; focusing on such a simple task for you became so tricky under the distraction of her bare back and exposed legs. The legs you avoided photographing because, with those images saved, it would become infinitely more difficult to hand the company camera back.

The final picture you took as the shoot came to a close. The main photographer had called an end to the shoot. In an instant, Umji looked towards you, you met her eyes, and she met your lens as you clicked and the shutter snapped. Now you sit here at stare at the result. Through the image, the stunning girl looks back at you as if staring into your soul. You start to feel a little hot under the collar, your cheeks burn, and you fidget in your seat.

The uncomfortable feeling peaks as the top of your peripheral vision is filled with two bare legs stepping toward you until they come to a stop. You look up from the camera, away from Umji’s stare, only to be replaced again by Umji’s stare—except this one is real, and she is smirking at you.

"I look good there, don't I?" Umji asks with bravado. Her confidence stuns you for a moment, but after a shoot like that, she must feel good about herself.

Though her comment didn't need a reply, you struggled to find one for a few flustered seconds until Umji continued, "walk with me for a moment. I'd like to see the rest."

Umji places her delicate fingers on your wrist and guides you to your feet. She lets go and strolls ahead of you, her half-exposed ass swaying as she walks, with the patterned one-piece hugging the tense muscle. If there's one place, in particular, that girl had developed the most—it's her ass and legs. Her workout schedule must have blessed her body with some of the tightest features you had ever seen; her ass is so firm you could bounce a quarter off it.

Under the trance of her body, you blindly follow the young woman down a brightly lit, white corridor until you reach a changing room door, which Umji opens and steps aside to let you in. You walk by without hesitation into the square room with four white walls. Umji closes the door behind the pair of you, followed by the sound of a soft click.

The changing room was decidedly bare with only the essentials: a long desk lining the left side of the room covered with assorted make-up and hair tools; a small table in the centre of the room with drinks, snacks and what you assumed to be Umji's handbag; and in the far right corner is a black leather corner sofa.

Umji breezes past you and reaches the desk, perching herself before turning back to you. "Show me the one you were staring at before I interrupted you.”

You look down at the camera in your right hand, the screen still illuminated with the shot of Umji. You outstretch your arm, presenting the camera to her, which she dutifully accepts. “Wow, I look good; you take good photos. This one is intense. It's like I was staring at you—and maybe I was.”

“I was always told I have an eye for beauty.” It's a cliche comment for a photographer and one you had heard several times, but you bite your tongue, realising the flirtatious subtext of your comments.

She smiles and quickly flicks through the pictures as if looking for something. The gallery won’t move any further. She looks at you and scowls with disappointment.

“All these photos, and you didn’t take a single shot of my body in this outfit?”

“I um—I didn’t want to—”

“What? Am I not hot enough?”

“It’s just that I have to keep it professional.”

“You can take professional full-body shots. I guess you just don’t like my legs, whatever.”

“No, no, you’re so fucking hot I just—” You bite your tongue for the second time in succession before letting your mouth fall open. Your breath hitches, and no words come out. You feel the colour drain from your cheeks and freeze as cold as ice in embarrassment.

“If I’m so fucking hot, why didn’t you take any sexier pictures?” She leans against the desk behind her, stretching out her slender body.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say—”

“So I’m not hot?” Fuck. She has you stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either admit your attraction and risk coming across as a pervert or deny it and insult her. The next ten seconds seemed to last ten minutes. With Umji now leaning against the desk, you could see your own face in the mirror behind her, as white as a sheet and as if you had just seen a ghost.

She lets you marinate in your thoughts for a moment. Clearly enjoying watching the gears turn inside your head as you searched for a professional response.

Then she offers you the cruellest lifeline. It’s not a way out or a respite from your situation; she just pushes you in one direction. “You can tell me. You already said it once.”

You swallow non-existent saliva like razor blades.

“You are hot.”

“Nuh-uh. That’s not what you said.”

“You’re so fucking hot.”

“There we go. Now take a hot picture of me, will you?” Umji had become so much more confident in her body, and taking it in now, you understand why. Not only had she matured, but she had worked hard on toning her body. Her thighs are slightly muscular but still soft enough to melt between your fingers, the thought of which runs through your mind endlessly.

“An actual picture, not a mental one,” she says, making you realise she has been holding the camera for you to take.

“That is a company camera. I can’t risk taking pictures here with this.”

“Here then.” Umji places your camera down on the desk and then turns and bends forward to reach down into her bag of belongings on the table. She fishes out a polaroid camera. “Make it a good one.”

She turns and places the palm of her right hand on the desk. You pull the camera up to your eye and drop to one knee for a better angle. She leans forward, pushing her ass out towards you. Her knees meet, but there is just a tiny gap between her tasty thighs. Her back dips and arches, pushing her ass into the air and flexing its full shape. Umji looks over her bare right shoulder, placing her left index finger into her mouth, just between her teeth, where she bites lightly. She lets her full lips rest against her digit, slightly separated from each other by the obstruction. Again she glares at you with sultry seduction. Perfect.

You push lightly with your finger, eliciting a loud snap from the camera followed by a whirring. Umji turns and removes the photo from the front of the camera.

She holds it in front of her face. “Wow, you’re good. I do look so fucking hot here.” She imitates your voice again.

“Please, you made it easy.”

She turns back to the desk, doing something you can’t quite see. “Take a seat,” Umji says, tilting her head towards the corner sofa against the far wall. You sit down facing her and place the camera on the other side of the couch.

Umji saunters towards you, swaying her body with each step; her full thighs jiggle a little with each step. “Fifteen minutes.” A blunt statement you don’t fully understand and you reply with a puzzled expression.

“We have fifteen minutes until someone comes and knocks on that door,” she clarifies.

“Let’s not waste another second, then.”

“Let’s not.” Umji concurs. She grabs you by the shirt, pushing you to the side, so you’re now laid flat on the sofa. Her hand releases your shirt but remains against your chest. Slowly, she snakes her hand down your torso until she makes contact with your tight trousers.

“You enjoyed taking that photo a little more than the rest. It must be so tight under there. Let’s help you out.”

You reach for your leather belt, excitement takes control, and begin to unbuckle the cold metal until Umji stops you. “Ah ah. I said let me.” She throws you a serious look, halting your movements.

Umji resumes what you began. Unbuckled, unbuttoned and unzipped—she quickly pulls down your trousers and underwear in one motion. Umji stops at your thighs and looks at your freshly exposed, erect cock for a moment, and smiles before continuing her action and pulling your clothes free of your legs.

Suddenly you're exposed to the cool air as your cock stands at full mast poking into the air but not for long as the cover of your trousers is replaced by the warm mouth of Umji. With one hand resting on your stomach and one holding one of your thighs, Umji rests for a moment with your cock filling her mouth.

She plays gracefully with her tongue around your length, swishing it from side to side, brushing over your cock. Umji swirls the tip of her wet muscle around the head of your cock with playful freedom. Your eyes flutter uncontrollably as pleasure shoots around your body from her playful teasing.

"Yes Umji, that's it." You grunt quietly to encourage her.

Umji slides her hand from your stomach down to the base of your cock. She wraps her thumb and forefinger around it and rubs slowly, matching the small movements with her mouth. She slides your length in and out of her wet cavity and covers your entire cock in her saliva.

Umji suddenly sucks hard, making you twitch before sliding her head completely away from your cock with a small pop as her lips leave your body.

"That's good enough," Umji says while smiling to herself and admiring her work. As much as you didn’t want her to stop, you thought better of interrupting her as she moved with purpose, finally discarding the shirt that had hung loosely on her arms.

With both hands on the back of the sofa, Umji lowers her body onto yours, and your slick cock slides between her bare thighs—the whole time, her head is turned towards you, watching as your face contorts in pleasure. The soft flesh of her thighs embraces your cock in a gentle hold, the pressure isn’t intense, but there’s just enough friction on your sensitive tip to send small jolts of pleasure through your body. You effortlessly slip in and out of the small gap between her thighs as she slowly shifts her body on top of you.

“The camera,” Umji says as she raises a hand behind her head. “Take one now.”

You reach out behind you, and as you lay your hand on the camera, you hesitate as Umji sinks again around your cock. You grip the metal frame and tense your whole body as she descends, eliciting a laugh from Umji. The control clearly made her feel good.

“How’s this angle?”

You pull the camera up to one eye, close the other, and then centre the view onto the posing Umji, who leans her upper body away, exposing more of her thigh and ass to you. “Keep still… It’s hard—to take… a picture,” you say between sharp breaths as she rocks her body.

From maybe the most effortless photo of your life with Umji bent over the desk to the most difficult as you try to maintain focus while her petite body rubs your sensitive cock. Her pillowy flesh squeezes your length, making it increasingly difficult to take a photo. Somehow, some way, you find enough focus to quickly take a photo of her before succumbing to the pleasure and dropping the camera back onto the couch.

Umji continually rises and drops her right leg on you, holding the left in place. Each time she goes up, pulling your stiff cock down and trapping the head between her thighs before rubbing back down on your cock. Her movements have caused the fabric of her one-piece suit to ride up between her legs, exposing all of her ass and being worn like a thong. The view here was almost perfect. Everything which attracted you to this young woman is on show, from her athletic legs, her toned stomach and her deceptively full ass all the way up to her stunning face.

There is one image left that you can’t quite formulate in your head, and you need to see it for real: this young woman's expression as she impales herself on your cock.

“How long left? Five minutes?”

“Maybe ten, give or take a couple,” Umji replies.

“Then fuck me. I want you.”

Umji’s mouth opens slightly as she takes in your words, clearly a little surprised by the desperate undertone in your voice.

“Oh, you must want me bad. Really bad.”

The voice in your head calls out and reprimands you. You’re supposed to play it cool. Don’t be so needy; you’ll look desperate. For better or worse, your brain shouted at a brick wall; the mind had conceded to the needs of the cock.

“We don’t have long, and I want to see your pretty face when you cum.”

Umji slides your cock out of her pre-cum-covered thighs and then opens her legs and repositions, so one sits on either side of your body and your stiff cock presses against her abs. “I can show you that. Now lay there like a good toy and let me ride your cock until I cum.” With each passing second, it seems that Umji’s confidence grows, and she is intent on putting on a show for you. One at a time, Umji slides the straps of her one piece over each shoulder, then lifts her hands out of the fabric and pulls the patterned cloth down her torso to expose her chest.

“You’re even hotter than I ever imagined.”

The mounds aren’t large, but they’re perky, enough to cup in your hands. Her hard nipples poke into the palm of your hand as you take hold—the soft flesh moulding to the shape of your grasp. A slight whine of approval escapes her parsed lips, encouraging you to play a little rougher—a tug and a rub eliciting similar, louder responses.

“Do you think about me a lot? I bet the only reason you’re here today is to stare at me and think about me riding your cock. Well, today’s your lucky day.”

With her eyes closed and her head thrown back, Umji lifts her body and suspends her crotch over yours. A hooked finger does the job, pulling the bottom of her one-piece to the side, and it exposes her glistening slit. The soft skin of her folds glimmering right above your equally slick cock.

You take your hand to your cock, with a finger and thumb at the base. You swish it like a wand against her pussy, casting the spell to open her folds to accept you inside. Up and down, you tease, probing inside her folds. Each time you slide down towards the wanton hole, she inhales in anticipation and exhales the air in a soft moan when you push against her swollen clit.

“Stop fucking around and put it in me. We don’t have time to waste.”

Umji re-assumes her control, placing her hand on top of yours and wrestling control of your cock. She pushes it down, placing it against where she wants it the most. She sinks her whole body in a swift motion. Your stiff cock slides into her, pushing out her walls and filling her up.

“Oh fuck, you’re so big!” Umji’s mouth falls open wide, an expression halfway between shock and ecstasy. She slowly releases her body weight onto you, allowing herself to sink completely down and embracing all of your cock inside her. Resting, Umji appears to be acclimatising to the sensations inside her, but you don’t allow her the opportunity to relax. You use your core to buck your hips upwards, catching her by surprise as she unwittingly lets a short moan escape.

“Ya! I’m the one fucking you here. Let me use you.”

Umji places both of her hands on your chest, her soft fingers resting on your shoulders as if pacifying you. With furrowed brows and fierce eyes filled with determination, she sets the pace, slowly riding your length. Her hips roll to a sensual rhythm as if savouring every movement inside her tight cunt. Her tense walls push and pull on your cock with every motion designed to draw pleasure from you.

The bobbing breasts above you come closer to your face as Umji leans forward, tantalisingly close to your mouth but just out of reach as your shoulders remain pinned to the couch. “Oh yes. Yes. Yes! This is amazing.” A breathy tone to her words. Her pace increases as she chases her desire to cover your cock in cum.

After placing a hand on each of her hips, you buck up again into her with a little force and authority. Umji’s hands slip from your body and onto the sofa. Her head falls into the crook of your neck, and her black locks fall over your face, filling your nose with a mixture of lemon shampoo and lilac perfume—an unusual combination, but you wouldn’t change it for anything else right now.

“Fuck me! Go on!” She shouts into your neck, the vibrations of her words radiating through you and tingling your skin. Faster now, you pump up into her pussy that remains suspended above your cock, with your lower body leaving the couch each time you fill her tight hole.

“That’s it, right there! Harder!” You match each thrust with a push down on her slim hips, forcing her to meet your cock with more force. A series of whiny moans flow into your ears as you fuck her into what you assume to be her orgasm. Her whines hit a climax, so you can only think she did too. The tightening pussy around your cock confirms your thoughts.

With all of Umji’s energy committed to the sensations inside her tight cunt, she is powerless to stop you from taking complete control, and you lift yourself from the couch, placing her in your old spot. You take a moment to admire the hot mess beneath you. Strands of her hair have stuck to the side of her face and forehead. Her cheeks are flush with colour. Her chest and stomach heave as they draw oxygen in through her mouth, which seems frozen in a permanent smile.

You look down at the thin strip of fabric pushed to the side of the slick pussy between her spread legs. Accidents can happen. You take the material in each hand and pull it apart at the seam with a loud tear. “What was that? What are you—?” You interrupt her by sliding into her with a hard push, planting yourself inside her again. A loud gasp and the words: “Ah! Fuck!”. And with that, you’re back to fucking her with such ravenous energy that everything else which follows from her mouth is saliva-muffled syllables that don’t resemble any words of the languages you know.

With her mind orgasmed into mush, everything Umji did from here on out was contradicting. She screamed out as if wanting the whole building to hear, but she sunk her teeth into her lip to stifle the moans. Her hands flail loosely against your chest, bracing against your body weight and your aggressive pounding, but her tight folds hold onto your cock as if treasuring its existence, begging to be fucked harder. Her legs instinctively tighten around your waist, denying you the space to move your hips, yet every time you pull back, the heels of her foot on your lower back pull you inside.

“I’m so close,” you manage to say through sharp, strained breaths. Umji turns her head to the side as if trying to bury it into the couch and then brings up one arm to cover her face.

“Cum—.” You only hear the first word and lean down closer, putting your head right by hers. A little louder, she repeats, “Cum in me, please.”

You relax your mind and let your orgasm take over. The moment you had dreamed of for years, finally, you get to fill your favourite maknae with your cum. Pure euphoria takes over as you pump her full of cum. Shot after shot from the end of your sensitive cock into her grateful hole. The once confident Umji can only lie on her back, with her glowing face buried into her arm, taking every drop of your seed.

You dismount her and sit back on the edge of the couch, still admiring the limp girl in front of you, cum dripping from between her spread legs, a film of sweat on her glowing skin and a satisfied smile on her face. Just to the side of her and a little up, on the other side of the sofa, lies the camera you most recently used, still with the polaroid hanging from the front. It reminds you of the confident young woman who rode your cock just minutes ago and had now become a twitching, whining mess beneath you.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Three sharp rasping knocks on the door spring you and Umji to life. Umji rises from her momentary passive state with an alerted look on her face and her hair a mess that she desperately tries to tame.

“I need one more minute! Don’t come in!”

“What’s taking so long? Do you need a han—”

“NO!” Umji coughs, realising how aggressively she shouted. “Actually, could you bring me some more water?”

“No problem, one minute.”

While Umji had her long-range through-the-door conversation, you had taken the opportunity to retrieve and wear your previously discarded clothes.

Umji reaches out and grabs your hand, using you as leverage to rise to her feet. “Thank you,” she says before pointing you towards the door.

“Quickly, out before they come back. Don’t forget your camera.”

“I won’t, oh, and, Umji?”

“Yeah?”

“That was amazing.”

“I know.” She replies with a confident smile. You turn and head towards the door; a hand appears on your shoulder as you place your hand on the doorknob. “And don’t forget these. They should be useful.”

Umji places the two polaroid photos you took of her into the palm of your hand. You hold them tightly and step out into the corridor, looking for a bathroom where you can ensure you don’t look like you’ve just nailed an idol in a changing room.

You glance down at the two photos in your hand and notice the black writing scrawled along the bottom. On closer inspection, you make out the digits of a phone number.

A/N2: Thanks for reading, enjoyed writing this one and hope you all enjoy reading.

#male reader #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #idol x male reader #reader insert #smut #girl group #viviz #gfriend #umji #Kim Ye-won #kim yewon #m reader

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mysticmellowlove · 1 year

Note

“So so greedy, aren't you supposed to be good for me? The best?" They were referencing the words he had said to them when he finally asked to become their boyfriend”

How did he go about asking us to be our boyfriend?

do you know how long it took me to track down this line, oh boy!

Also, I slipped into first person halfway through so I had to go back and rewrite the beginning. lol whoops

It was raining. While I wasn't a sentimental person there was something about the rain that made me want to sit and think. Coincidentally that was exactly what I was doing. This was only because I had missed my bus though, which put a dampener on the afternoon.

For others though it seemed to be the perfect opportunity to get closer to me.

My head tilted upwards as I heard the steps of someone rapidly approaching. A man ran under the bus shelter, his hands over his head as he tried to get away from the water. As he lowered his hands though he seemed to stare at me in shock. He seemed to be a little younger than I was, his clothes soaked through from the pelting rain.

I tried to push my confusion down as he simply stared at me in wonder, his fists tightening at his sides.

"It's you..." He trailed off, his tone breathy and light as he stumbled towards me. Worriedly, and a little bit creeped out, I shuffled to the side of the bench I was sitting on. Was he drunk or something? He seemed to stop in his tracks at my hesitance, a deeper blush overtaking his features.

"I'm sorry for scaring you... I just..." He mumbled to himself as I sighed, today couldn't possibly get any weirder. If I had to admit it he wasn't that bad looking, especially when he was all cute and blushy.

"You just?" I questioned him, my senses being overtaken by my boldness for a moment. His eyes snapped back to me as he fiddled with his fingers. I motioned to the seat beside me and he scrambled over like a lost kitten. A small smirk rose to my features as I watched him fumble with himself.

"Well, it's just that I think you're really beautiful. I've been keeping my eye out and... well I think that I love you." I looked over at him bewildered. I had barely spoken to him before, we barely interacted. I had only seen him in passing a few times, yet here he was confessing his love for me.

He seemed to notice my confusion and tried to placate me but he soon stopped and looked down at his lap.

"I don't want anyone else to have you so.... can I be your boyfriend?" The exchange was strange, really strange but life had been so dull lately. I did the same thing every day and when I got home I thought the same thoughts until I went to sleep. Maybe, just maybe I could give this whole relationship thing a try.

"Why not, you've piqued my interest." He seemed to deflate, probably assuming I'd reject him outright but he quickly perked up. A doe-eyed look was on his face as his mouth slightly dropped open. Moments later I was wrapped up in a tight hug as his head nestled into my neck.

"Thank you, thank you... I promise I'll be the best boyfriend ever!"

#sub male #sub yandere #gender neutral reader #ask #love for anon

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moonlight-tmd · 6 months

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Anything insecticon bee.

Mating habits? Wing talk? How he sleeps so deep they all check to make sure he isn’t dead.

Prowlbee or Blitzbee

I knew i'd see you in my ask box sooner of later~

The hibernation protocol is like stasis but it gets into action automatically when it gets cold. Let's say like, late autumn- Bee will get cold but still function normally til mid-November, but after that his Hibernation Protocol will kick in and he'll eat more and move slower and after one week of it working he'll get all cozy in berth with multiple blankets and just snooze. Not even the plant's alarm will wake him up.

The first time his protocol kicked in everyone was worried cuz Bee was- well, not acting like Bee! Then they went into panic cuz Bee disappeared and there was no trace of him. Only 2 days later Ratchet found him sleeping under one of the boilers they had(the only one working at that time) with a blanket. Still, he had to shake him awake cuz he would not wake up to him calling. Panic might have been eased but still they were hella worried about him, Prowl goes in every morning to check on Bee snoozing in his room with blankets and heaters so he wouldn't crawl into some weird space again, others check in whenever they pass by his room, Ratchet comes to do a scan around noon everyday until Bee is waking up and being active again in late February. Still there was no way Sari wouldn't have woken him up for Christmas- she did succed because she jumped on him while blasting an air-horn to his audial. She does this every time before Christmas. And the others scold her everytime for it.... Bee doesn't mind as much, he likes spending time with his team. Honestly he'd be sad if he missed Christmas with them. Sari also wakes him up on Valentines Day.

ProwlBee: Prowl would essentially move in with Bee and spend his free time with him, cuddling and meditating as he listens to Bee's slow vents.

BlitzBee: Blitz lives with Bee in his room so of course he's gonna act as an additional heater for his hummel- he just lays next to him and wraps his arms and legs around the big Bee-rrito and snoozes too. He wakes up around noon and goes to bed very late. (habit from his decepticon days) Most of the time he stays in berth with Bee just napping and cuddling or sits by him sculpting.

Now onto wings! I imagine seekers/fliers would use their wings to attract or impress a potential mate. Insecticons do the same. Of course, there was no way Bee could do it before he went into the cocoon. So after Bee hatches and has those features showing, he will defo do unintentional displays for his beloved:

If ProwlBee: Prowl has knowledge about animals- and insecticons now that there was the deal with the cocoon- so he knows Bee is doing it to impress him. Which there is no need for, but damn it's working.

If BlitzBee: Blitz is half-seeker, he knows the whole ordeal with seekers trying to impress potential sparkmates with their wings. He's done the same with Bee, even if Bee didn't realize. Bee's wings are the most beautiful ones he's ever seen, and when Bee spreads them out and flutters them so they sparkle- Sweet Primus, he's so smitten. He will also flutter his own wings, Bee has a strange feeling about them- like they're the most impressive part of Blitz.

And i know what you want- i saved it for last. And a reminder that i do not write transformers the "usual" way: here is my version of how they do the interfacing.

Spoiler just in case: NSFW, alien biology

So, you have the normal transformers junk written out in the post i linked. Insecticons have it a bit differently as you imagine. Although for Bee it is mixed cuz he is not full Insecticon like Waspinator or Blackarachnia.

Insecticons, for all i could come up with, have a hidden slot under their abdomens(back thingy). So they do the deed the normal, sexual way. That slot is also a way for eggs to come out so the larva can hatch.

Bee also has that slot. Now interfacing is a little bit tricky- he still interfaces with his sparkmate(Blitz or Prowl) like regular transformers would. But everytime it happens he has to have a rag or towel wrapped around his abdomen cuz that slot gets kinda leaky when they get kinky...

So a normal cybertronian would have 4 tendrils and 1 reproductive strut. I imagine that because Bee's biology has changed slightly, he only has 2 tendrils and 1 reproductive strut. And while transformers can release the reproductive strut on command- insecticons? eeh not really. So it's often hard to see which wire is coming out of where cuz the fluff on his belly keeps poofing up due to static and blocking the view- Bee has to put gel in it to keep it down. While the tendrils and the reproductive strut can't really intertwine or else whoops, Bee and his partner can still play with it.

If you're asking for kinks then there's the feeding kink, wing kink, glossa kink(?), biting kink and i don't know what else. The tendrils themselves are kinky enough to play with i guess. I mostly write for BlitzBee so yeh, i dunno what Prowl would be into.

I had a very funny not-canon-to-this-AU scenario in my head earlier;

So Blitz and Bee decide to get funky now that Bee is different and see if there is some new kinks to discover... They did the deed once.

The following days Bee is feeling odd, he's not as energetic and he can't retch up honey to give to Blitzy as a treat.

At some point Prowl gets concerned and tells him to go to Ratchet for a scan, Blitz goes with him. So they do the scan and Ratchet literally just stares at the result image with wide optics and semi-scared expression.

The next thing everyone in the plant hears is a scream accompanied by a loud metallic thud.

So turns out, because Bee's biology changed- he got sparked. (they got all confused which wire is which, whoops.)

Oh, and did i forgot to mention? Insecticons can have up to 20 larva per brood.

Lucky that Bee is only part-insecticon so he ended up having 8 Newsparks in him... which they ended up terminating cuz there is no way they would be able to handle it.

Yeah... Blitz and Bee interface rarely now in fear of it happening again. They still get kinky sometimes, you don't have to have direct contact to have fun.

Altering the non-canon scenario: If Bee did keep them, his other insecticon protocol would kick in- similar to how he was unaware when he was making a cocoon, Bee essentially becomes kind of feral and builds a small hive/nest in the basement. There was a storage room no one ever went into so it was a perfect place. So he disappears and nobody knows where he is until Prowl hears something when he's in the basement and finds Bee hissing and a pile of insecticon eggs in the hive-nest. Once the littles hatch he goes back to normal, dw.

The way Bee having eggs would happen; Newsparks incubate in the Sparkchamber but then get moved to a special compartment in his abdomen where eggs get formed around them and they get laid. Then like normal insecticons, Bee would cover them with honey that the eggs absorb nutriens from and the Sparkling-larva is growing, just like what Bee is after the cocoon. Then once they hatch they still eat the honey until they can eat solid food and energon. Then later on they also cocoon themselves.

I'm getting way too scientific with this, geez.

I know you probably wanted some NSFW action but honestly i can't make myself write it like this. You gotta send me a direct ask for me to ditch my dignity and aswer honestly. Also give me a prompt cuz no idea what or how to write nsfw.

If you weren't asking that- oh well, now you know just in case.

#maccadam #tfa #ask box #tfa bumblebee #blitzbee #prowlbee #long post #tfa au #part-insecticon!bumblebee au

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feladi-fority · 1 month

Text

Happy Homestuck day everyone!

Fuck, insane I'm still obsessed with a comic THIS OLD but what can you do.

I feel like people often focus on what Homestuck did poorly or just discuss the characters or the comic abstractly, so in this post I wanna go into a bit more detail about what I think this comic did really really right which I'm yet to see done in other media.

The dialogue is just fantastic. Hussie really knows how to write naturalistic internet style dialogue and it breaths life into characters which otherwise are very flat. So many of the characters are objectively very simple but the dialogue is just so good they still feel like real people. Like Nepeta is objectively very boring, but the dialogue made her feel real enough to make past me kin her.

The format gets a lot of attention for using flash animation and games, but I think the real biggest strength of Homestuck's format is the pesterlogs. I read through Kill 6 Billion Demons a bit ago which is a very similar comic to Homestuck and despite loving it I found I didn't grow nearly as attached to the characters as I did HS. The reason I've come to as to why is that in K6BD the standard comic formatting just doesn't allow natural the characters to be normal people and have normal conversations without totally killing the pacing, so to maintain a fast pace it has to keep that to a minimum. In Homestuck, however, the pesterlogs allow characters to just kinda talk about whatever for normal amounts of time while not requiring the plot to just stop around them. John can ramble about his love of Con Air while doing important ectobiology shit. This gives the audience time to get to know these characters while maintain the lightning fast pace of acts 3 and 4 and a bit of 2 and 5.

The time travel, holy shit like I have NEVER seen time travel done so well, I used to think I hated time travel in media until I read this comic. The comedy gotten through time-traveling chat clients and the use of stable time loops for the story is just so masterfully done. The fact HS manages to have very few plot-holes in terms of its time travel internal consistency is seriously impressive compared to other stories featuring it. I crave so badly a story which can reach the peaks of the lil' Cal reveal and the conversions Karkat had with Karkat.

The fandom hooks. Like most stories are out here letting the fandom do some shipping or have a fun set of factions or a magic system to sort their fav characters into. Homestuck is here quadrupling the potential ships. "My story has 4 elements and what element you have is determined by your personality" Homestuck has a character personality sorting system with 336 possible combinations. Your story has one cool unique world to imagine being in? Homestuck has several. How would your fav react in the Hunger Games? How would they react to their entire planet being destroyed and being sent into a game designed to allow personal expression as much as possible! The lore is also overcomplicated but it does a great job at helping the audience through it. Like fuck this shit was crack to my neurodivergent ass.

The [s] pages were fucking AWESOME, like I am yet to feel the emotion the best [s] pages did since I finished reading the comic for the first time. The complexity of the storytelling means that when it's being told visually you need to actively interpret what's happening, causing strong moments of "oh shit!" when you realize what you just saw, further making an already awesome animation even better!

The way the comic mythologized the feeling of growing up online was so fucking cool to my terminally online ass. It made the worldbuilding feel so much more compelling than similarly complex fantasy worldbuilding ever has.

I might have missed a few things Homestuck did really well I'd like to bring up so I might make another post later, but like, damn. Homestuck was an incredibly unique work and I haven't seen anything like it since. One of my goals in life is to make a work that makes other feels how this comic made me feel cuz nothing has scratched that itch for me, but who knows if I'll succeed at that.

Either way, happy 413! I'm a derse sylph of heart btw <3

#homestuck 413 #homestuck #413

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reginavulturum · 4 months

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Terry's Birthday: Fandom, the Internet, and Citations

Or, a too long, too in depth essay on a fictional character's birthday

If you aren't thinking I'm a total nerd by the time you're done reading this than you didn't really read this. But, let's start at the beginning. Recently I posted a timeline I made for "Batman Beyond" and in the time since I made that post there's been something I've seen pop up in tags which I'd never heard of before. A few people were saying that Terry's birthday is August 18th. I was really interested in the source of this claim because I had no recollection of ever seeing it anywhere before now. I looked it up on google (as you do) and found this date scattered around the internet. Case closed, right? But I quickly realized there was a consistent problem on every site I came across. None of them cited a source for Terry's alleged August 18th birthday.

Just look it up yourself and you'll find that the date is ubiquitous across the internet. Yet, as far as I can tell after all my research, it's also completely unconfirmed. I mean, I may have missed something, but if I have than someone else is going to have to point it out to me. I also made a post prior to this one asking people to cite a source for Terry's birthday and no one has so far. You can have a look at that post if you want to know what I consider a good source on this subject. In any case, if this date or any other had been confirmed in any piece of media or in an interview with any DC creator involved in Batman Beyond than I think I would have found a citation for that source somewhere by now.

Right now it kind of seems like August 18th is fanon that's been recycled into "canon". This seems to have happened through a process of source-less wikipedia edits being parroted across reddit threads, sites featuring profiles of comic heroes, other wikis, etc. The less popular June 27th birthday for Terry seems to have gone through the same process. Here are links to some of these sites: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

As my research continued I came across some possible witness testimony of the first mentions of these birthdates:

a.) In this archived thread from the DCAU wiki, in quotations below, I've copied an excerpt of an exchange between two users that I feel is most relevant to this post (emphasis mine):

"So, I've noticed lately that a lot of different sites have been stating Terry's birthday to be August 18th with various years attached to the date. The earliest mention of which I could find is an edit to his wikipedia page in 2008 (which prior to the change stated his birthday was June 27th). I don't remember a mention of when he was born on the show or tie-in comics, and the third volume of comics didn't come out until 2010, so would anyone here know where these dates originate from? -- ReachingForRevolution (talk) 17:48, September 26, 2013 (UTC)"

"I've done some extensive timeline research, and I never came across a good source for those dates. All I saw was a wikipedia edit war with those two dates, but neither is correct AFAIK. The most cited year of birth is 2023, which is speculation as well, but there's at least some foundation for that. --Tupka217 17:56, September 26, 2013 (UTC)"

b.) A similar claim was made in this thread. The relevant excerpt, written by the user "Yojimbo" on October 16, 2023, is in quotations below (emphasis mine):

"No official birth date was ever given.

There was a wikipedia edit war in the 2000s but no source was ever given for either disputed date, June 27, 2023 and August 18, 2023."

As I've travelled down this rabbit hole, I've begun to suspect I won't be able to find exactly where it began, but this is as close as I've gotten. Allegedly, sometime around 2008, there was an edit war on Terry McGinnis' wikipedia page between at least two users over the birthdates of June 27th and August 18th. Now, how or why that edit war even started, I don't know. Why those dates, I also don't know. What I do know is that August 18th is the birthdate that gained the most popularity in the end and spread across the internet.

I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes with this post or call anyone out, really. If anything, this post exists because the subject was interesting to me and I've found the journey enjoyable. If you want to say Terry's birthday is June 27th or August 18th, then please do. Fandom is about fun, not perfectly sourced and cited dissertations on fictional teenagers' birthdays...unless, of course, that sort of thing is fun for you. I know I've loved every minute researching for and writing this...because I'm a massive nerd...but I certainly don't adhere to a strict reading of the timeline myself which is something I plan on covering in an upcoming addendum to my timeline.

In summary, my own research has produced no officially confirmed birthday for Terry McGinnis. This leads me to believe that August 18th and June 27th are fanon birthdates. It may be that I've just not found the citation for one or the other of these dates so I'm open to anyone who can provide me a good source. But really, none of this matters in the grand scheme of things, although it's interesting to see the way user edited/moderated wikis can sometimes bring less clarity rather than more. I'm sure this isn't the only example of that. Assuming I'm right and these birthdates are fanon, I wouldn't consider this a cautionary tale or anything so dramatic. Instead, I'd say this was a case study in the interaction between fandom collated information about fictional works as it exists across the internet and why the adage, "cite your sources", will never die...or something like that...

#batman beyond #terry mcginnis #dcau #this was supposed to be up like a week ago but I got sick on Jan 5th and haven't felt well enough to post this until now #anyway don't take this too seriously because I certainly don't #Terry's birthday can be whatever you feel like #despite my confidence in my research I'm open to being proven wrong on all this and will happily take the L in a follow up post #I'm honestly embarrassed by how deep I got into this subject it's so unimportant and I'm not sure anyone will find it interesting

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gnomey22 · 28 days

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Failtopia Ship Popularity

The shipping side of the Failtopia fandom has never really been all that popular, considering how small the 'fandom' itself actually is compared to how many people casually watch the series, but what does exist about it is quite interesting. Not necessarily in a good way, but it's fandom shipping, of course it isn't.

What I specifically mean is, both existing seasons of Failtopia have had surprisingly similar formations of ships, and I'd like to break that down, explain why exactly the nonsense happened this way, for no other reason than my own enjoyment, and the five people who will ever read this post.

First off, the Erica ships.

Failica and Eribo are easily the most popular out of the S1 and S2 circles respectively, having far more vocal supporters than any other ship in the runnings. The connecting thread between them is clear to anyone who's watched the series - They both feature everyone's favourite character, Erica. A key difference between them, however, is also very obvious. The former is an F/M ship, and the latter is F/F. This discrepancy exists because, while Erica being a lesbian is possibly the single most popular headcanon in this entire fandom, it didn't become popular until S2. In S1, Erica was seen as a tsundere for not liking her male best friend, but once everyone collectively realised where her affections more likely were, a majority of people jumped ship. (Not necessarily to Eribo, at first, but I'll get to that.) Given her fan-favourite status, partially because of her attractiveness, it was only natural that the centre of the shipping scene would revolve around Erica, but it took until a certain outing to a botanical garden for people to get their acts together on what ship.

Next up, the inconsistently implied secondary ships.

Roseyawn and Marion don't even come close to the Erica ships' popularity, but they're definitely part of the discussion when we're talking about the most popular ships. The peaks of their popularities would probably rank at the third and fourth spots, but it's clear which one has more staying power, given the immediate end of the other. Both ships were heavily implied as a possibility throughout their seasons, with Rose and Pirahnyawn seeming to carry out an actual relationship in S1, and Mar and Orion flirting fairly often in S2, with Mar's romantic feeling being outright canon. However, Orion is a married man, and turns Mar down every time he tries to go further than flirting. On the other hand, when I say that only one Failtopia ship has been de-confirmed as endgame, I do not mean them. I mean Roseyawn, given that Pirahnyawn's daughter was canonically born and raised by him alone. Both ships exist directly because of canon interactions, but the same idea also works to their detriment - Roseyawn more than Marion.

Then, we have Lanchi.

Not two ships this time, but a single one that lasted throughout both seasons, the only one to do so. For good reason, too, even if it isn't obvious on the surface. It originated in S1 for much the same reason Roseyawn did, because of certain implications in their interactions. However, unlike Roseyawn, these interactions actually spelled out a positive image of their relationship. They failed to reach the heights of their fellow ships' popularities, but they were undeniably the third place contender. The very same statement applies to their popularity in S2, a season where Lanc doesn't even feature, but Chi does, and her lore explicitly states that the insane actions she took during the timeskip between seasons, were inspired by Lanc. She takes on his mannerisms throughout the remainder of the season, so even when Lanc himself is not present, the spirit of Lanchi remains prevalent. The other two S1 ships did not have this luxury, so they both died out.

Finally, we have the ones nobody wants to acknowledge.

These ships were only temporary in popularity, and mainly came about because of sheer desperation from the fans, scrounging for some shipping fuel they felt was missing at that point in the series. S1 had D*koboat, a literal pr*ship that likely only got its cult following because it was an alternative to Failica after Erica temporarily left the narrative, even having the same tsundere dynamic if you imagined it. S2 had Friendshrimp and Erichi, two ships that only barely don't count as pr*ship, because of technicalities regarding the ages of Friend and Chi, even though those weren't confirmed during the very short timeframe where these two ships gained their tiny followings. Shrimp, like Erica, was a fan-favourite that people wanted to ship, but they quickly realised that they just didn't have any good options. Erichi was, unfortunately, the original F/F ship for Erica, but because their relationship was made so clear to be nonromantic, it didn't last. They couldn't last, because they weren't made for that purpose.

TLDR: The big three ships of S1 were outdone by the big three ships of S2, and the other ones do not exist in Ba Sing Se.

#failtopia #failboat miitopia #failboat #not tagging characters #will tag the ships I favoured #eribo #marion #lanchi #and that's it #hope you liked the rambling #you probably didn't care and that's fine

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9leaguesofmirrors · 7 months

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Meet-(Not)-Cute (a Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe fanfic)

I've realised that I've written a few fics where Lisgoe is the one battling with his feelings, but never really explored things from Ross' POV. Since I also haven't explored how these two actually met, I figured this was the perfect time to look into it! I also feel like my recent fics have been a bit heavy so I hope this one lightens the mood

And yes, I know these two are played by the same person and therefore would be the same height, but I know in my heart that Lisgoe's that little bit taller

Usually, Ross didn't get into debt. He kept a small book on his desk and it was enough to keep him in check. But he was human, despite his robotic tendancies, and that means he makes mistakes - not that he's ever want to admit such a fact. Long story short, things got busy at work and it caused him to fall a little behind. He was visited by two idiots, one short and fat, the other tall and twiggy, but they didn't stay long. After the fat one left crying, the twig followed suite and that was the end of it

Well, that was until he got another knock on the door which, since he was occupied with work he'd brought home, he ignored

"I know you're in there!" A voice shouted, accompanied by furious banging at the door "Open up, you bastard!"

Well, Ross thought that was rude

Soon, the thumping at the door proved to be relentless and Ross had no choice but to open it. Even if it was just for his own sanity

As soon as it was opened, Ross was greeted by the sight of a man that seemed to loom over him despite the height difference only being a few inches. He was a strange combination of rough and smart; he wore a black, fitted suit jacket (no collared shirt, like a plebian, just plain black), but in a way that suggested he cared little about looking tidy - buttons undone, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was slicked right back, which just made his features look more angular

The first thought that crossed Ross' mind was he looks like the leader of a gang

Well, that was the first thought he let settle in his head. His actual first thought was quickly pushed out like a splash of water: at least this one isn't disgusting to look at

"Can I help you?"

"Are you Ross Gaines?"

Oh, you weren't putting that on, your voice really is that nasal

"You can fuck right off with those snarky comments and all!"

"I apologise, I didn't realise I'd said that out loud. What's this about?"

"This is about you not paying your debts on time." The man rested his hands on his hips, his teeth gritting together "And then you decided to get mouthy at the knobheads I work with."

"If this is about the way I treated your co-workers, then may I suggest you you find more competant people?"

That was clearly the wrong thing to say, because the man had taken two steps towards him. Suddenly, Ross caught a waft of his scent. There was a hint of cheap cologne and a lot of cigarette smoke, he clearly... hang on, is that... of course he has a tattoo. Yes, on the side of his neck was a black bird. As if I needed another reason to not want this man anywhere near me

"Nothing says vulgarity like a tattoo."

"I didn't ask for your opinion, dickhead!"

As soon as he said that, something clicked and Ross knew who this man was. He'd known him only by name and reputation, but this was the first time he'd seen him face-to-face

"Joseph Nigel Lisgoe."

"So you've heard of me," an arrogant smirk graced his face "that's good."

"I thought you'd be taller."

With great amusement, Ross watched as his smugness turned to annoyance. However, this was short-lived when he felt himself getting grabbed by his shirt and pulled towards Lisgoe

"If I wanted shite crack like that," he sneered "I'd lick a dog's asshole. I don't care about my subordinates, what I care about is the fact I needed to drag myself out of the house on what should be my day off. So where's my money?"

There was a moment of silence, which Lisgoe clearly wanted filled. He was showing no signs of relenting, Ross watched as his eyes dragged up and down his own frame with a stare that could only be described as steel. Cold, hard steel

For some reason, he could feel his stomach swirling, probably something I ate was his immediate thought

Suddenly, Ross felt his shirt being let go of, which resulted in him stumbling backwards slightly

"I have your money," came the calm reply "and I would've given it to you without all these dramatics. After all, this isn't a regular occurance, is it? I'm good with my debts and-"

"Well," Lisgoe interrupted with a sharp tone dripping with mockery "aren't you a good boy."

Ross wasn't proud of his immediate thought and buried it deep inside him. He just focused on the growing feeling in his stomach, but he just made a mental note to visit the nearest pharmacy as soon as this delinquent was out of his sight

"Are you expecting an invite inside?" He managed to maintain a level tone "Because I was in the middle of working."

"And I was in the middle of watching Dexter, but I'm stuck here talking to a rat in a wig!"

Once again, rude- hold on, did he say Dexter?

"I didn't strike you as a fan of Dexter."

"Funny, I knew a wannabe sociopath like you would enjoy it."

After a moment of consideration, Ross decided to take a chance

"If you're really irritated about missing your programme, you can catch up here. Since you're already here, as you eloquently put it, 'stuck here'."

"If you're trying to sweet-talk your way out of-"

"I'm doing no such thing. You'll get your money, but it's your day off. What's the rush?"

Lisgoe was clearly considering the pros and cons of taking up this offer. His gaze was directly on Ross, lazer-focused. Tense jaw. A slight bite on the corner of his lower lip

Before Ross could say anything, he was being barged past. Lisgoe had made his way through the door and into the living room, throwing off his jacket and throwing it onto the arm of the sofa before letting himself fall back next to it

"You could at least hang up your jacket." Ross followed, clearly unimpressed by his slovenliness "This isn't your house."

He watched as Lisgoe rolled his eyes and raised two fingers at him before leaning back, his arms on the backrest. Thanks to his short sleeves, his intricate tattoos were on display

"I hope they're not too vulgar." He said in that mocking tone when he noticed Ross looking "I'd hate to piss you off further."

Ross didn't even register the attitude, he was looking at the drawings that marked Lisgoe's arms. Tattoos really were ugly things, but the black-and-white that adorned his arms weren't the worst that Ross had seen

I need to get my stomach checked, it's spreading to my chest. Probably a virus. Speaking of viruses, if the one on my sofa doesn't stop slouching-

"Are you just planning on fucking standing there?"

That effectively snapped Ross out of his thoughts and he sat down beside Lisgoe, turning on the TV and turning on Dexter

Ross was thankful for the silence that followed, it gave him an opportunity to focus on something else and ignore the brash, cocky man beside him. Which was nice, because the constant swearing and general pissy attitude was too much. Not only was it testing Ross' patience, but it was making things complicated. Like the fact that the stench of cigarette smoke and abundance of tattoos, traits he usually despised, didn't seem so bad anymore. Or the fact that he let the most feared man in Royston Vasey into his house to watch Dexter. And the fact that said man was digging into his trouser pocket and- he's pulling out a cigarette box. Is he joking?

"Go outside."

"I was going to, Hindenberg!"

"You're going to get ash on my sofa, I paid good money for-"

"Jesus christ, I'm going!" Lisgoe got up and headed for the back door

"Outside."

"Oh yeah, let me just phase through the door! Fucking open it for me!"

Ross got up and let Lisgoe out, standing at the door as he went out and lit his cigarette

Dirty habit... he thought to himself as he watched him raise the cigarette to his mouth. For some reason, his eyes happened to hone in on the way Lisgoe's lips wrapped around the end of it. It was obvious he'd done it before, because he inhaled a lot of smoke without choking, he sucked on the cigarette before tilting his head back and blowing smoke into the air before looking at the cigarette with a satisfied look

Suddenly, Ross was very aware of the virus he seemed to have caught. His symptoms seemed to be everywhere; there was a fizzing in his stomach, his chest felt tight, and there was an odd, tingling feeling in his pelvis... wait...

No. Not happening

"Do you want my money or not?" He snapped, growing impatient

"I'm waiting for you to give it to me."

"It's inside."

"Then bring it outside, you stupid little man."

"I'm not that much shorter." Ross muttered as he went back inside to retrieve what he owed

The transaction was quick and, before he knew it, Lisgoe had one foot out the door

"I hope I never have to do this again."

"What? Collect my debt, slob on my sofa or get your cigarette ash everywhere?"

This was met with a glare as Lisgoe, once again, moved his hands to his hips

"Does acting like a smarmy jackass turn you on or something?"

"I don't know, does being an inconsiderate pest turn you on?"

"What turns me on is none of your fucking business."

"It's a good job I don't want to know."

Lisgoe's eyes darted down and up. Then his eyebrows raised slightly as a smug smirk graced his lips

"Right."

"You can leave now, Lisgoe."

"Might stay and piss you off more, bring some colour to your cheeks."

"Go on, shoo. Enjoy your day off." Ross did a dismissive motion with his hand "I want you as far away from me as possible."

Once again, Lisgoe's face was one of disbelief and he looked Ross up and down again

"What if I just stayed here?"

"I'm closing the door now."

As Ross started to shut the door, he was stopped by the slamming of a hand against the edge of it. Lisgoe had stopped the door and was now staring right at him. That's all, just staring. And he was moving closer, as if he was going to-

"Move, I need my jacket."

Wordlessly, Ross let him pass. Then he leaned against the doorframe and let out a frustrated sound. First he gets interrupted while he was working, then not an ounce of courtesy is shown to his living room, and then, to make matters worse, he was insulted every 5 minutes

His immediate thought was does this man have no shame?

Then his thoughts turned to the feelings in his stomach, but that was quickly discarded

"Don't say a word."

Ross turned and saw Lisgoe next to him, there was a buzzing in his pocket and an impatient look in his eyes

"Is that your-"

"I said shut up!"

"If this is a test, then-"

Lisgoe let out an annoyed huff and answered his phone

"Yes Hammonds... I can't, I'm on duty... yes, but those cun- um, Barry and Glenn needed me to deal with a tricky target... no, I haven't. We argued for a bit and now he's shut the door again." As if to add conviction, he slammed his fist against the door a few times and paused before talking again "See? This might take a while... of course I'm trying hard enough... fine, I will."

He hung up and turned to a very confused Ross

"My boss." He explained "He's an absolute wanker, worse than me and that's an achievement. I knew he'd want to see me and I'd rather walk on hot coals than deal with his shite. So I'm staying."

"You mean here? Or are you going home?"

Lisgoe's face crunched slightly, as if he was rendering whether or not he'd heard the question right. His right eye twitched slightly with confusion

"Home. Obviously. Why would I stay here?"

"We, well, you stopped watching halfway through an episode."

"So?"

"So I'm telling you that I hate leaving things unfinished."

"Finish it yourself." Lisgoe shrugged "That's not my problem."

Gaining a surge of confidence, Ross took a step to the side, as if inviting Lisgoe back inside

"It was just getting good, and I'd hate for you to miss it."

"Fucking hell, your head's wedged up your arse, isn't it?" Lisgoe's teeth gritted again "Fine. One episode."

One episode would turn into one season, and Ross would start falling behind on his debts a little more often - resulting in Lisgoe visiting more

And soon, Lisgoe would start coming round on his days off for reasons that had nothing to do with work. They'd move from Dexter, to the Final Destination films, then to Saw, until they no longer felt the need for such distractions

Months later, they'd no longer see the point in living seperately. Which means, eventually, they would know each other better than anyone else. They'd see each other at their lowest, their highest, worst and best, things nobody else was allowed to see

And then, suddenly, they'd eventually realise that they'd found someone that made all of Royston Vasey's bullshit worth living through

But right now, neither of them knew that, so Ross simply said:

"One episode it is."

#league of gentlemen #the league of gentlemen #joseph lisgoe #ross gaines #gainsgoe

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