#which is visually SUCH a treat
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One of the hardest things to actually accept, in my experience, is that you eventually have to forgive yourself for the harm you did to yourself. A good way to move on from that is just being able to let your past self rest in peace. Don't stomp on their resting spot, they need to be at peace. They deserve to be at peace, and so do you.
#mental health#mental health recovery#self harm tw#sh tw#self harm mention tw#(just for the implication)#i'm trying to accept the things i did when i was young to harm myself#and i'm scared to think of the ramifications my self-destructive habits and bahavioural patterns will have on my future self (if any)#(this is part of why i think we NEED to destigmatize scars. i looked at the way people with visible self-harm scars were treated...#...and so i harmed myself in ways that didn't leave scars which were MORE dangerous in the end i think)#if you have visible scars from *anything* i truly love that you're here and you're reading this (maybe)#unreality tw#(just in case? i think this post can count)#i just like the visualization of separating my present with my past#because i can treat him with the respect that i'd give to somebody else in his situation#is it healthy? who knows but it helps me remember to be compassionate so i don't particularly care
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selections from natalie baxter's 2017-2019 "alt caps" series.
Alt Caps explores the culture of online commenting and gender. Pulling text from reactions to a negative article written about me and my work on Glenn Beck's website, The Blaze, I use sewing and quilting techniques to turn the numerous reactions that question my gender, sexuality and sanity into banners that echo those made by suffragettes or recent protest signs.
#it speaks!#my header at time of writing is also from this. i love this series sm & the article in question was about her 'warm gun' series ->#<- which is also just a visual treat#natalie baxter#textile art#textiles#tw misogyny#tw ableism#duckcore#my working piece on hysteria reclamation is what prompted my posting of this so ->#hysterical studies#ceci n'est pas une femme
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crack me open or i'll go down on this sinking ship ; ᴅᴏɴ❜ᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅʀᴏᴡɴ . still the water bears the sound of my eternal plea and all i found and all i will . . .
#❀ visuals 「 桜吹雪 」 oh ¸ to die under a cherry tree in spring.#❀ ooc ¸ misc 「 語り手 」 my edits.#❀ visuals 「 桜吹雪 」 gpose.#❀ visuals 「 桜吹雪 」 all.#this one got put on twitter earlier but i think it can go here too as a treat#can u tell i couldn't decide which gpose angle to use for my actual promo LMAO
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“Primavera” is not a favourite episode of mine (not just in it being of a piece with my overall dissatisfaction with how Abigail was handled, but that’s certainly part of it). But - especially after watching the audio commentary - I really appreciate what they were going for with it. (That’s a sentiment I frequently have re: season 3 - I can’t ever say the concepts weren’t great.)
Because I love the way it plays with the concept of imagined worlds, and forking paths-style alternate realities, and with the implication that Will believes in the multiverse (“what I believe is closer to science fiction than anything in the Bible”). The show in general really ran off with the mind palace conceit from the books and honed in on the vivid, immerse potential of imagination. Mentally constructed realities, like Will’s imagining of the murders, often play as more richly saturated, more real, than reality. And the seductive power of imagination often crashes up against its perils - like in Will hallucinating killing Abigail near the end of season 1, another moment that plays with the unsettling inability to differentiate what’s real and what isn’t.
The first three episodes of season 3 are deliberately immersive, right off the bat - the broader plot and stakes of the story are ignored at first in lieu of dreamy, atmospheric character pieces that foreground their own fantastic elements and constructed potential (Hannibal saying “once upon a time” [cue curtains opening]; “all sorrows can be borne if you put them in a story”; etc.). But “Primavera” is perhaps the most immersive (and therefore disorientating) of all of them. Because, yes, plenty of the events “actually happen” within the world of the show - Will going to Palermo, meeting Pazzi, almost encountering Hannibal, etc. But it’s possibly the closest we come to spending an entire episode inside a character’s head - instead of just seeing flashes of Will’s imaginings, all of the events feel like they’re being viewed through his eyes, and what’s real gets subsumed within the fantasy he’s spinning for himself.
Not just in the presence of Abigail, although Will constructing everything he experiences through the lens of this alternate reality in which she survives is a big part of that effect (and the uncanny qualities of their first conversation aren’t even apparent until “Aperitivo” two episodes later, when Chilton has the same lines Abigail had, and you realize that you’re retroactively seen Will’s wishful thinking playing right before your eyes). But the chapel itself feels unreal, knowing as we do that it’s the lobby of Hannibal’s mind palace, and that Will feels closer to Hannibal there. Given how near-claustrophobically character-centric the episode is, and how so much of the action is confined to its interiors, the chapel doesn’t feel like a real place so much as a projection of Will’s thoughts and imaginings re: Hannibal.
I often see speculation that a season 4 would have included a lot of mind palace content, and I think this episode is one of the clearest indications of how they might have wanted to push the envelope further with the show’s concepts there. Specifically, I think the alternate realities conceit that gets touched on would have featured more heavily - not in the sense that the show would have gone full science fiction (Bryan was always determined to keep the supernatural elements ambiguous and symbolic), but in the sense that it would delve deeper into the tension that always existed between whether what we were seeing was real, or a hallucination, or just the product of a very vivid imagination - not just through individual images, but entire affective and experiential planes. So much of season 3 feels transitional to me, like the show untethering itself from the police procedural format and pivoting fully towards experimentalism. This episode feels like a trial run at that.
#hannibal#hannibal meta#primavera#this got longer than expected (my slogan)#i think also... the tension between hallucination and imagination is like#the way this episode plays it it feels like will was always aware that abigail was dead#and was purposefully maintaining the illusion otherwise#he's not surprised at all just resigned#which is why it never feels quite right to call her a 'hallucination'#and after the encephalitis is treated the show is deliberately unclear whether will is actually 'seeing' his visions#or if they're just visual symbolism for the viewer representing more abstract though processes#or just something in between#but this feels different and more deliberate. actively wielding his imagination#in kind of a questionable self-deluding way#will graham#hannibal talk
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aous was...fine, imho, it was fine, but it was fundamentally white, middle-class british and i could accept that but i couldn't forgive it
#aous#aous spoilers#namely...paul mezcal being terrified at having seen a ghost#people treating ghosts as unnatural or weird or wrong was bizarre to me#latinos built different!#also visually the film felt Too Polished#it should've been grainier; the past and the sex all felt too clean#but mostly i can't get over the ghosts part...i.e. why would you be afraid#there's something...comforting about them being able to linger and then choose to leave#anyways things i did not like about it included seeing andrew scott in pjs. the ways money didn't seem to figure into anything.#(he's a writer but he lives in these high end flats but he spends all his time visiting his childhood home which is empty but not??)#(paul mezcal is an alcoholic who lives alone and seems to live at andrew scott's beck and call - WHAT DOES HE DO FOR WORK)#the whole sheen of ''we don't need to think about the material conditions here'' really bothered me actually#it felt necessary to engage with if we're also doing the magical realism#anyways when we left the theater this gaggle of young 20-something women were also exiting#and one of them said ''okay i think that movie forced me to process a bunch of shit i hadn't wanted to think about''#and i laughed bc i'm glad it reached out and touched her
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Hello! I hope your week has been kind to you. May I inquire of your thoughts about IDW Eggman written by Ian Flynn? I noticed his reference in one of your posts, and i would like to know how you feel about the direction Ian is taking the Sonic characters in in the Sonic franchise. I would also like to know what you think about Surge and Kit, the product of Dr. Starline's unethical experimentations. Mimic, the traitorous mercenary as well if you don't mind. Remind yourself to eat your meals regularly and to maintain a limber body!
I admittedly haven't gotten to sink my teeth in IDW- I'm currently following through @thankskenpenders' take on archie which I would like to finish before I start that. What I have seen is promising, but I don't consider myself educated to speak on those characters. I think Surge, Kit, and Mimic have very fun designs and seem to have a lot of potential, and I love the way the former two (and Starline himself) are nods to classic glitches.
As far as IDW Eggman, as I've said, I'm very interested in what Flynn and Stanley do with him! They're definitely a bit darker than I've always liked my take on Eggman- my formative Sonic game was Sonic Adventure 2, which featured Eggman as a protagonist in his own right, albeit a "dark" one. I've always liked the idea of him as half-honorable, and it's a balancing act to frame that with just how brutal and ruthless he can be. But I've grown to be fond of that- I think half-honorability stands out a little more when the other half is that... coldly efficient.
As I said in the post, I think it's interesting to take Eggman as someone who may have had noble intentions as a 'fixer' once but who's gone a good few strides further than that. In a warped way, he always 'helps'- but you may not appreciate his help. I think that plays well with him as a manipulator and a trickster who tends to play people against each other for his own profit and amusement- if he's always harmless or always terrifying that's a potentially fine character (there's much I like about SatAM Robotnik after all!) but it doesn't really hit me as Eggman in the same way.
Almost everything I've gleaned secondhand about the Mr. Tinker arc is fascinating to me because of that. Especially the way Sonic confronts Eggman afterwards, and makes it clear he isn't opposed to Eggman regaining his memory (Sonic is not someone who likes to take power or options away from even his worst enemies) but upset that Eggman threw away everything he had as Mr. Tinker, to which Eggman replies, almost wistfully, that that kind of life was "peaceful"- but he's got bigger fish to fry.
As I said in a previous post, at the end of the day, Eggman's meant a lot of things to a lot of people, and while I'll always have my own takes on the Sonic cast, the biggest thing I can hope for is that new versions of the story will experiment further. That willingness to try new things boldly is, in my opinion, one of the things that's kept the Sonic franchise as youthfully full of vitality as it is. I can't really find it in my heart to hate any version of Eggman- they've all got something going for them, from the silly to the horrifying to the aforementioned half-honorable to the completely vile.
#Sonic the Hedgehog#like whether or not you like SatAM Robotnik you absolutely have to give the man points for /style/#Jim Cummings' performance and the visual framing and the vast geigeresque horror of robotropolis#modern-era gameverse Eggman is my formative bread and butter- but I'll certainly spread the other takes on it like jam#this is admittedly why I'm so fond of building my own AU- and reading others'#there's just so many fun bits from different takes of the same character and it's tempting to treat it like a salad bar#and I guess my appreciation of that leads to that Eggman in my AU is a very complicated and contradictory guy!#even making him a cyborg the way I did- I wanted to emphasize that he's tricky and complex#SA2 positions Eggman as a direct rival to Tails which is fun when Tails is kind of a box-of-tricks 'fixer' type#trying to learn and manage a little bit of everything to prove how important and special he is to other people#it gives an impression that Eggman is actually the same way- age and experience have just given him a much bigger toolbox
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tbh tho this is EXACTLY what merfolk relationships look like
and they just keep track of this. in their heads. all the time.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#they dont have gendered pronouns but they do have tone modifiers for every other fucking word depending on their relationship to the other#and their mood. and if theyre referring to multiple people at once or just one person. and often layered on top of each other too.#merfolk have poor vision but they DO inherently think of things in a more ''three dimensional'' way than we do#considering they live underwater and youre operating with another axis just to move around anywhere#which then gets applied to the rest of their everything#ESPECIALLY language because theyre nerds who went hard into the sound focus#their visual art in comparison has simpler elements than ours (but a lot more focus on light/movement)#this is why merfolk have some very unique spellcrafts and theyre notorious for complicated and detailed spellwork#like yes a part of it is the fact that theyre older than the other species and have had more time to work on it#but also they can just DO really unique things compared to other cultures because they emphasize layered detail in this way#this is also why - from the outside - so much of miranda's job looks like parties and balls and attending to the courts#because again. its all about the emphasis on who has what relationship with who and how to operate within that.#legal agreements are multilayered and come with terms and conditions a mile long and you need to have a very careful hand on the pulse#of all of this#even moreso because royal families go even harder with treating the lineage as the individual and the merfolk#as just limbs and organs of this equation#this is why it was so important that miranda be good at manipulation and speaking and just *charismatic*#literally making people do what she wants or needs them to do is just what makes the merkingdom GO and operate#and why she (and the other royals) occupy a space a little like a public performer does as well#and why royals showing personal favor and having close personal relationships is frowned upon as#mixing pleasure and business#since those relationships ARE their business and so much of the underlying politics#if youre showing undue favor to someone because you personally just like them then you aren't judging them based off of actual talent#merfolk complicated! merkingdom complicated!#(the merkingdom is also SUPER fucked up but thats tangential from this tangent)
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it's 2023 and i'm still bitter about how kuroshitsuji, a complex slow burn mystery manga, got absolutely massacred by its shitty semi-episodic shota/fujobait anime adaptation
#like yeah the manga could be a bit questionable in the earlier parts (cough corset scene cough comedic relief grelle + soma & agni cough)#but almost all of that got retconned once yana toboso was allowed to have more creative freedom over her work#(and her editor's interference is something we Know had a p drastic effect on the series bc it Literally Gave Us Grelle (toboso wanted to#have a female jack the ripper but her editor said that if she did then she would've had to be working w a man. so in response toboso#decided that madam red's partner in crime would be as effeminate as possible so grelle was created in the vein of buffalo bill and then#only in her next appearance a few arcs later when the book of murder arc was over and done with was she acknowledged to be a trans woman#not the best situation for girlie overall but the manga started treating her much better over time + she slayed)#but the anime was on a whole different level s1 Literally ended while teasing a kiss between a grown adult and a 12 year old#and then s2 just made up random bullshit including a brand new 14 year old to ship bait w adults#and it doesn't help that whenever the series comes up everyone in the surrounding area becomes 50x more susceptible to false info#(see: undertaker's real name being shared around on an image that's literally watermarked by a TUMBLR HEADCANONS BLOG)#so there's a p decent subset of ppl who believe it was originally meant to be a yaoi (rumor that began from the same hc blog)#or that yana toboso is a shotacon (pr.osh.ippers on twt made that one up to try and win arguments)#i want the series to get the fmab treatment w a shiny new anime made by some1 other than a-1 pictures#bc we've seen what happens when they try and adapt the arcs that came out after they committed to the random bullshit plots of s1-2#in the form of the book of murder circus & atlantic ovas. which are excessively plain and just streamlined disconnected and heartless#renditions of the manga arcs which will make no sense to anyone who hasn't already read it. they're like ufotable's fate route ova but at#least that has higher production values and is somewhat visually interesting#romeo.txt
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God FORBID I want to take up space OUTSIDE of my 100 sq ft basement bedroom-prison, in this house, where I LIVE
#franposting#everytime im like oh ok living here isnt the absolute worst#shit like this happens#for fucks sake all I wanted was to set up bro 2 small weight bench in the downstairs bathroom#WHICH IS THE SAME SQUARE FOOTAGE AS MY ACTUAL BEDROOM#its HUGE and doesnt have yknow a bed desk dresser etc#and no one uses the downstairs bathroom except me and my dad#but NOOOO my mother is insanelt controlling and it makes visual clutter and she refuses to treat her actual obsessiveness#so i was given the option of the garage (cold dark spiders and we dont have an interior entrance qnd also its full of my dads shit)#or laundry/storage room (cold unfinished full of spiders and dust which im ALLERGIC TO#and also it doesnt have a door or a lock and i would straight up rather lift with the gym bros#than in view of my family#the gym bros are LESS judgemental#y do u think i do all my physio excercises in the bathroom or bedroom behind a locked door#i dont want to be PERCEIVED by my family#god forbid i try to exist outside my room prison#cant use the downstairs lounge bc allergic to upholstery#upstairs is loud and no privacy and everytime i sit in view of anyone#and also theres just no space????? plus my mother is always watching hallmark movies at volume 500#ITS A VERY SMALL BUNGALOW WITH TOO MANY PPL#but also i cant afford to move out in the GTA and thats where the jobs are wnd where my job is#and im not moving in with randos and have no friends in the area needing roomates#literally fucking kill me#everydya i miss my shoebox apartment. it was so#so so small and lonely but it was safe and private and mine and i was allowed to exist without judgement and rules#im not an exquisitely unwell suciidal teej anymore but i still feel like im losing parts of myself#theyre dying and im never going to be whole and it just keeps shrinking and shrinking#and i KNOW im weird and have odd needs for my living situation to keep me mentally sane#and its selfish and whiny of me to want very specific kind of roomate and not strangers in this economy#or to just live alone
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#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ REFLECTION . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ MIMI . ›#[ this character's demeanor and appearance are so painfully similar to Mimi's that ]#[ it's genuinely terrifying me to see an actual vivid visual of Mimi in action y'know ]#[ Mimi had her hair cut that short like in this imageset when she was around 9 to 14 ]#[ before she cut it much more shorter as an attempt to appear strongly masculine reaching into teenhood + high school period ]#[ yet Mimi did enjoy having a more fluffed out hair a lot mainly because the look of it would remind them of the moon ]#[ which in this style especially ; they loved to add glitter and sparkles to their fluffy hair treating them as stars ]#[ also the clothes in tie dye patterns / colouring and this necklace... very much Mimi's kind of attire style ; I adore her dearly ]
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I know we all already know this. But the "I'm still here" sequence from treasure planet is objectively an earth shaking piece of cinema
#ramblings of a lunatic#i don't have brains rn bc its late and I'm stupid but like friendly reminder im obsessed#like. okay first of all the fact that the song is crafted to fit Jim and his journey? phenomenal. more movies do this#bc yeah you can always try and get the rights to songs that already exist that kind of apply to your character/scene#but there's shrimp emotions stored in the craft and care that goes into making sure the song is imbued with the core of your movie#HE'S STILL HERE!! THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT#THE SMART AND SWEET KID HIS MOM REMEMBERS IS STILL THERE. HE JUST NEEDS THAT GUIDING PRESENCE THAT HE LOST#PARALLELING MOMENTS OF HIS DAD IGNORING AND ABANDONING HIM W/ SILVER BEGRUDGINGLY AND THEN OPENLY EMBRACING HIM#AUGH. I'M GOING SICKO MODE!!!!!!!#AND a lot of story and relationship development is told entirely in the visuals. which is always a treat to watch#AND the animation and cinematography is beautiful#idk I'm just such a fucking chump for this movie. i love it to bits i think abt it all the time#gonna go put im still here on a character playlist bc cringe is dead and i value my own enrichment now#everyone go watch treasure planet. please
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Approaching an analytical thought here in relation to how delivery can change the implication of a very similar statement, and how there is still a very thickly implied "however" in relation to the degradation of aging when it is respected vs. not respected, but:
You see the border of her coat is torn, and stained with sand
Vs.
His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake
Both commenting on the state of degradation of their coats, venturing into a "but/yet" for Gus, but then a continued lowly picture of Grizabella (which has it's own implication towards Gus in regards to aging, however that's another thought)
And then:
She haunted many a low resort
Near the grimy road of Tottenham Court;
[...]
And the postman sighed as he scratched his head:
"You'd really have thought she ought to be dead"
Vs.
At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy
When he sits in the Sun on the vicarage wall
The olderest inhabitant croaks:
"Well, of things, can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! Oh, my eye!"
Illustrating through language and delivery through the POV of a nameless human character a sense of regality and delight at the sight of Old Deuteronomy but pity and distaste for the similarly older Grizabella.
Connections - perhaps purposeful perhaps not.
#see like it's reasons like this that it's important that grizabella is a significantly older woman#you know like...it means more that way#i have a masters degree in bs - this is the bs i choose to focus on#Grizabella#Gus the Theatre Cat#Old Deuteronomy#extemporize back chat#but then even when we align the delivery and language used in Gus alongside Old Deuteronomy#gus' age related disability is treated very much as a 'oh it's such a shame what's become of him because when he was *younger* blah blah'#there's that big 'BUT' there#which is why when performers play this as a 'pishaw here goes the old fool again' it's kinda disrespectful - implies that he is only#respected for what he was not what he currently is which is another argument altogether#vs old deuteronomy who is *more* respected in *spite* of his age related disabiliy and his age in general#grizabella visually limps - old deuteronomy is implied to have one - you see what im getting at here
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Tell me about Flesh and Bone...?
Congrats, you successfully found a tomb show vid based on title! (This title is just the song title, most of my wip titles are.)
This is a (concept for a) reboot vid about Wu Xie grappling with his mortality. The idea is to kind of follow the arc of the show in terms of the approaching end of his life, time in hospitals, going into him eventually finding the cure. I also want to talk about how Wu Xie feels about being a human person in a slightly superpowered body as compared to Xiaoge's extremely superpowered body (and immortality).
The tiniest of snippets because I cut the song down to ~3 and a half minutes, but I've only got about 30 seconds of clips on a timeline and I'm not actually sure I like any of them.
#this isn't abandoned but I haven't worked on it in at least 6 months and probably more than that#I was thinking about it as a festivids treat for teyla last year but it was too complicated and going kind of slowly#the concept is not currently very tomb focused which makes it hard to be visually fun#but I have an outline and some clips and I think this could eventually turn into something good#asks answered#dmbj#we'll see if it stays a reboot only vid the clips I've got right now are from reboot#but I don't think I can resist a wu xie keeps getting put in the hospital section
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Female Warriors of Light: Design Comparison 1
#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#au ra#roegadyn#viera#hyur#hyur midlander#hyur highlander#lalafell#elezen#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv screenshots#I want to have an easier time comparing visual directions and tones#also I've encountered a lot of media that stops characterization for ladies at either 'this woman is here and strong'#or 'spicy woman vs innocent woman'#or 'this woman is only here to be someone's love interest I guess'#I'm a fan of the idea of multiple defaults though which means treating various demographics as normal#and from there just exploring the range in human potential individual character by individual character#in other news I don't have a lady character whose color scheme is mostly green#I got very preoccupied with orange and purple and yellow#but green is missing#I have teal but that feels like cheating#still need a goth also#and a blond
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another day, another person claiming Yang has 'anger issues' when all she has is an explosive temper that she has always had demonstrable control over
#rwb/y#worst part is it was on a post talking about Yang's character being reduced for IQ#(how'd you figure that out when we're only three episodes in and it's primarily a recap of the volume she had the least focus)#like half the shit being complained about when it comes to removed aspects with Yang are stuff that tie into later volumes#which aren't exactly relevant in a one and done spinoff show where she's not the central character#if they were to put stuff in from her trailer it'd be setting up arc stuff the show isn't going to touch on#there's no need to put in stuff that is not relevant to the story#but claiming they reduced her character is a REACH when we don't know how the rest of the show is gonna play out#but on the 'anger issues' point#Adam has anger issues. Cinder has anger issues. fucking Jaune has anger issues#Yang has never been driven to blind screaming irrationality when she gets angry#you just treat her anger as negative because it has a visual indicator without paying attention to how she uses that anger#meanwhile every other character whose anger leads to more self destructive actions is basically given a free pass#PSA Fandom: if you go into the show not expecting Yang to be 'the dumb angry one' you might fucking notice how nuanced her anger is
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the art direction and especiallyyyy the environmental design in sa2 is just :D so good. so vibrant!! so lush! now i understand.. the bar was set here and many times it has not been reached.... sad!
#i dont LIKE the treasure hunter levels BUT#the environments in them are soooo good#the jump between sa1 and 2 is just a real treat#but anyway comparing like#the frontiers cyberspace environments#which are very pretty!#to the sa2 ones its like oh man... yeah i see why ppl were a bit disappointed#cyberspace feels so empty. which is given like watsonian justification#but also. it is still visually disappointing#myaa
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