An important fact about Micah is they can hold their breath underwater for at least thirty minutes. No one ever knows how they're able to meet that amount of time but simply, they have extremely strong and healthy lungs.

Even across high school when they learnt they would use cigarettes, yet have no recollections of them ( Phobos is the one who smokes in the system, then Cryael when it came to be in early thirties ), the smoking brought no damage to the lungs that would reduce the health of their lungs.

Micah's family, with Valentine as their only sibling at the time, thought that they drowned at their backyard swimming pool when they were six years old, sitting completely still at the bottom, always gazing at the distorting lights above them. Valentine screamed pointing at the pool seeing their sibling's stilled body at the deep end.

Found alive, it was the first time when their parents cried for them.

Micah couldn't understand why when no one had ever cried for them before.

A doctor who the family visited a few days later after the incident said it was likely a form of self-stimulation Micah engaged in to self-regulate, using their strong lungs to keep them underwater for as long as possible until they couldn't handle the pressure.

Since then, for a month of researching, designing, and building, their parents turned one of their guest rooms into a sensory room for Micah and their other children who needed a space to self-regulate while their sensory needs were met.

This didn't stop Micah from continuing in staying underwater for a large amount of time. Their parents were beyond concerned for them, but they didn't force them to drop the practice, thinking there's a reason for Micah that would provide them the support that they need while no one could understand yet. Either or both of their parents would look after them by the side while Micah engaged in this pattern, using the timer to end the session once they reach to thirty minutes. Usually, Micah would leave the pool a minute or two before they were told the session was done.

This practice continued even in their early twenties.

When Micah started having therapy sessions when they were in university, they shared all of this to their therapist who asked them why they would engage in this form of behaviour. " I want to pretend that I was in space, " they signed to Dr. Alyx, " I always want to go where no one can ever hurt me again." Including themself the most.

But this practice was everything to Micah. It was their coping mechanism. It was indeed a form of self-stimulation that they do to provide themself joy or ease. It was an escape. It was finding love in the water and space and light. It was for the pain of burning. It was a reminder of hope. Micah just didn't ever know how to explain their practice to anyone until their therapist could help them really think about it and convert those thoughts into concrete words. When they could finally provide the explanation to their parents, their parents embraced them, respecting their practice as they always had since they were six years old.

Micah still engages in it to this day, primarily using it as a reminder that even when trapped at the bottom, somewhere cold and dark, the light will always be above them.

Waiting for them to come home.

Like the other psa post we made about not wanting anymore of people to ask us how we're doing / how our day is since we're technically never going to be truly okay unless my abusive mother is out of my life, I don't know if this is a permanent thing to add onto the guideline or not as well, I think I will say this anyway that for the time being, if people can be sure to trigger tag or place a warning of " child distress " where out of any context in illustration, audio, or writing a child ( either as a muse themself or muse's childhood self ) is in physical or mental distressful position / state, especially if they're described as crying; that would be extremely much appreciated.

On an additional note, because we do explore and interact with Micah's childhood self and their child alter, Mimi, quite often and they had experienced various forms of distress across their life and in childhood, we will use this specific tag, #child distress cw. As most people know, Micah is often in a distressful position / state across the series ( prominent example was across July - August after the massacre event, Micah was at their most vulnerable state ). We will be using #distress cw if anyone needs it at all or at times if they are not at a certain mental / emotional state to read / see an intense piece involving Micah or other Starwakers.

Lastly, the Starwake System is an intense system of individuals who have their extreme experiences at time, even for a quick moment. We will never reduce or remove the intensity that any Starwakers would think and feel and behave for anyone because we wouldn't do their characters justice by not following any aspects of them ( personality, mental health, etcetera ); it would be wrong to water down parts of their identities, so this is a gentle reminder that as that is the case, we can and will at least provide warnings of distress and any other applicable sensitive contents when necessary.

Honestly, Mimi's aesthetics and ambiences makes me depressed. Her vibes generally based on dissociation and distortion and disfiguration have twinges of sadness and sorrow that can make one feel sick seeing how this is a child who already knew the agony and horror and despair of the world. Who have already experienced them so many times from many people in many spaces. Who saw humanity as monstrosity and monstrosity as beings who only wanted to live, being themselves, and her friends. Then Mike's are generally more based on disconnection and distance and disorientation that can provoke these senses of nostalgia and homesickness. Finally, the aesthetics and ambiences associated with the older main Starwakers ( Micah, Phoebus, Philos, and at times Phobos ) are much more brighter, vivid, clearer. Theirs are more filled with light and hope and love.

It's like they lived their entire childhood in the dark that distorted their senses and views while their adolescence was when they're trying to find themselves but still felt more lost than ever before, but reaching to adulthood, being in an adult, they've come to understand themselves and then eventually each other with their lives. They want to live a much more brighter life, give themselves brighter days and nights to make up for the time and space that their younger selves were in being alone and confused and hurt. The transition of the system's aesthetic and ambiences over their life is so important to me. Yes, at times their younger selves had rare non disturbing and unclear imageries and introspections, while their older selves would also occasionally had the opposite, especially Phobos, but the fact that we as the audience can truly see how their perceptions and senses to life and themselves were like in the past to the present, seeing these changes, it's just fascinating to me.

Thinking about Astereus when xe's a [pre]teen :]

Little Micah being so excited whenever there's an eclipse and xyr parents would take xem and xyr siblings out to the best viewing spot to admire the eclipse with their snacks and cameras. This happened until all of the kids ( except for Micah, of course ) reached at middle school age, but If the eclipse would occur outside of their home country, then you'll bet Maria and Caelum would let their kids have a one to few weeks vacation trip so that they could have the opportunity to catch the eclipse. Even though Micah's parents didn't understand why xe'd seem like xe had fallen in trance and stared above, even without xyr special glasses, whenever the sun and moon were together, Micah was always the most enthusiastic and delighted about this special celestial event, so xyr parents were happy for xem as long as xe's happy too.

mimi with their chimera plush. 💖🦁🐐🐍✨

NO WAY THIS IS SOOOO MIMICORE

Something something when a child finds more joy and comfort in the monstrosity than humanity because humans has done nothing to give them the space where they can be themself while feeling only safe and happy and loved, and the child can feel more free and like themself with the monsters that are different to and treated differently by humans, something the child can relate to...

One of my absolute favourite details about Mimi is how her preferences and interests and beliefs are complex and insubordinate and paradoxical. Her favourite colour is rainbow, her favourite animal is chimera, her main plush is a dinosaur and dragon hybrid she combined with the latter wings torn to be stitched to the former's back while the plush has two heads with tails and four arms; she always draw smiley faces on the figures in her pages like the sun and flower, she thinks dandelions were the gifts made by Earth for the sun and moon whom she love, the snowflakes are the stars fallen to Earth so they can find new homes; and she always believed she's actually the child of the sun and moon who are usually busy protecting the Solar System and especially Earth hence she's placed in the world that's supposed to love and care her.

Many children and adults saw them as a complete strange child for what they think about and believe in, although even with all of this judgement and annoyance, Mimi had never let this negativity remove and reduce any of their love and beliefs and joys, instead only the pain and confusion they had felt towards the world increased. They would believe and experience--- love more strongly, and many people really did not like that and were even unsettled by her. It's quite fortunate that their adoptive parents were extremely accepting and encouraging of everything about her, and would not hesitate to strike people down for attempting to change any parts of Mimi. In addition, Adoniram was the first person at her age who held positive reactions to anything about her, which led to them becoming best childhood friends.

Mimi is known to be rebellious and non-conforming, and even then, Micah is still the same, yet rather than being vicious and unruly with these traits, Micah on the other hand is a lot more calmer and gentler. Though, just because Micah became softer does not ever change the power that their beliefs and passions and love hold. Their love holds less teeth and claws, it holds many wounds and scars, but it will not die.

Not ever.

Micah Xenowake 🤝 Me / Astrifer The autistic struggles with seatbelts

Micah refers to each specific past part of themself with a short variation of their name and their respective used pronouns because they do not see themself the same as those past selves. Having a dissociative disorder that often place Micah in a position where they have distance or challenges with certain aspects of themself or their life, they find it easier to treat and perceive each past part of themself as a whole separate individual, which the Starwake System did form alters who took after those past parts. M and Mimi are likely not linked to any of the old names that Micah were given by the people who knew them from when they were one to five, before the Everlove family took them under their care, but these names are what Micah would refer them to as for easier conveniences while they want their self given names to be connected with their current one that they picked up when they reached to teenhood, Michael.

M ( it / its ) is a name referring to their youngest self before the age of five.

Mimi ( she / they ) is a name to their youth self from mid five to early fourteen.

Michael ( he / they ) to their adolescent self from fourteen to eighteen, but in as a short affectionate form while having a teen alter, the system calls them Misha.

Mike ( they / it / he / she ) was the name they then shortened after Michael when they graduated high school and prominently went by this short form from eighteen to mid twenties.

Micah ( they / xe / it ) is the name they then decided to go by as a nickname default when they reached to mid thirties and were fully settled with going by their current name. Micah is less likely to react or respond to anyone who calls them Mike due to them associating the name with their respective past self.

Typical Astrifer behaviour getting xemself teary eyed and emotional over Micah fucking Xenowake

No but I do think it's cute when Mimi infodumps to Phobos about the things she enjoys so much like dinosaurs and rainbows while it's fronting and it's nodding along, only appearing grim and never saying a word, and one would think it doesn't care, but it most does as it's making notes to later steal dinosaur toys for her, Mike, and Micah.

Mimi is the Starwaker who Phobos is most protective of, not because it thinks she, a child, needs protection─ it believes she is far capable of defending herself, but it sees itself in her across many aspects that it doesn't ever want anyone to reduce or devalue.

Those doing these with Mimi is also doing them with Phobus as well. Mimi and Phobos shares a lot of attitudes and behaviors, in fact. Phobos came into being as a reaction to the pain and traumas the system would experience and endure since early childhood. It carries all of the negative and traumatizing memories they had while also holding attributes after their abusers, yet, it was also fundamentally created after Mimi's aggression and cynicism, the rage she holds against the world and distrust of humanity. How Mimi would think of and feel about and treat to those around her, Phobos can most understand her more than any other Starwakers besides Micah.

There is an underlying selfishness in Phobos' need to protect Mimi and her values, having a harmful mentality that if Phobos fails to prevent someone from harming Mimi because of her attitudes and behaviors, or having to force Mimi to change them that it also holds as it believes she has the full right to have them, it will be dishonoring her and itself with their shared values. Although despite it having a selfish motive in its protection, in its own ways, it does care about Mimi. It lacks patience with everyone in and outside of the system, even at times with its in-sys partner, Philos, but Mimi is the only one who it can have some tolerance towards her presence, even if it's being tense.

Phobos does want to be there for Mimi to fight back against the times when loneliness was all she had for so long. Micah is an individual who Phobos perceives and treats to entirely differently because their motives and values are not like Mimi's at all, so it does not hold the same interest and obligation it have with Mimi while looking after her. Phobos does protect the Starwake System as a whole, but with Mimi, it have a stronger distorted compassion for her that one day, with a lot of support and guidance given over time, it can be more genuine while its compassion spreads to other Starwakers and non-starmates as well.

Very Mimicore vibes, actually