An important fact about Micah is they can hold their breath underwater for at least thirty minutes. No one ever knows how they're able to meet that amount of time but simply, they have extremely strong and healthy lungs.

Even across high school when they learnt they would use cigarettes, yet have no recollections of them ( Phobos is the one who smokes in the system, then Cryael when it came to be in early thirties ), the smoking brought no damage to the lungs that would reduce the health of their lungs.

Micah's family, with Valentine as their only sibling at the time, thought that they drowned at their backyard swimming pool when they were six years old, sitting completely still at the bottom, always gazing at the distorting lights above them. Valentine screamed pointing at the pool seeing their sibling's stilled body at the deep end.

Found alive, it was the first time when their parents cried for them.

Micah couldn't understand why when no one had ever cried for them before.

A doctor who the family visited a few days later after the incident said it was likely a form of self-stimulation Micah engaged in to self-regulate, using their strong lungs to keep them underwater for as long as possible until they couldn't handle the pressure.

Since then, for a month of researching, designing, and building, their parents turned one of their guest rooms into a sensory room for Micah and their other children who needed a space to self-regulate while their sensory needs were met.

This didn't stop Micah from continuing in staying underwater for a large amount of time. Their parents were beyond concerned for them, but they didn't force them to drop the practice, thinking there's a reason for Micah that would provide them the support that they need while no one could understand yet. Either or both of their parents would look after them by the side while Micah engaged in this pattern, using the timer to end the session once they reach to thirty minutes. Usually, Micah would leave the pool a minute or two before they were told the session was done.

This practice continued even in their early twenties.

When Micah started having therapy sessions when they were in university, they shared all of this to their therapist who asked them why they would engage in this form of behaviour. " I want to pretend that I was in space, " they signed to Dr. Alyx, " I always want to go where no one can ever hurt me again." Including themself the most.

But this practice was everything to Micah. It was their coping mechanism. It was indeed a form of self-stimulation that they do to provide themself joy or ease. It was an escape. It was finding love in the water and space and light. It was for the pain of burning. It was a reminder of hope. Micah just didn't ever know how to explain their practice to anyone until their therapist could help them really think about it and convert those thoughts into concrete words. When they could finally provide the explanation to their parents, their parents embraced them, respecting their practice as they always had since they were six years old.

Micah still engages in it to this day, primarily using it as a reminder that even when trapped at the bottom, somewhere cold and dark, the light will always be above them.

Waiting for them to come home.

Micah…

" If I'm still here despite everything, " says Mike to Evangel, " Then so will you. "

Evangel was adopted into the Everlove family when she was five years old after a fire occurred at her home at night that had killed her father, with her mother being dead since her birth due to reasons that are currently unknown even to this day. Micah was seventeen / eighteen at the time of the adoption when they were on their final year of high school, with their five younger siblings being either in the middle of secondary or finishing their middle school stage. Micah was the oldest child and longest adopted Everlove while Evangel was the youngest and latest.

Despite the drastic differences in their age and life stages that would be generally challenging for a child and adult to bond and connect easily and consistently, compared to either individual interacting well with those at their age, in little time and great ease, Evangel and Micah was able build a tight connection with each other as they have always considered each other to be their closest sibling. It surprised their siblings that Micah could still find the time and energy to interact with Evangel often, even during their post-secondary school stage.

Micah and Evangel are the only Everlove children who were taken into the family at preschool age, while their siblings were adopted at an older age group, primarily in preadolescence stage. This was the first detail Micah noticed when they were familiarizing with Evangel that slowly opened a special link to her. Though, knowing what happened that led to her being taken to the child adoption agency, Micah was most determined to be there for Evangel the moment she stepped into home when they could highly understand the fear and anxiety of being moved to a whole different environment after a traumatizing event following a series of unease and loneliness.

Evangel developed selective mutism after the fire incident, and Micah, once being muted and then having the same condition, along with their parents were the only Everloves who could teach and interact with her in a sign language, avoiding some of the communication barriers that the other Everlove siblings couldn't pass to connect with her better. Until Evangel could find greater ease with the other Everloves a year after of the adoption, Micah was Evangel's only sibling who she didn't feel nervous being with and communicating to when they were always gentle and patient to her.

There were other things Evangel have that Micah could understand and provide her the support with accommodations that she needed, such as autism and paresthesia. In addition, Evangel experienced many instances of herself being bullied at schools, commonly in relation to the strange events that occurred by her presence that would paint her as responsible and be called names or associated with terrible things or people, with secondary being the most frequent occurrences of bulling for her to endure. These were what Micah could heavily relate to as they tried to comfort her in every way they could to ensure her that she still mattered and she's meant to exist.

While Micah would do everything to not have Evangel experience any more assaults, being merciless in getting her perpetrators in serious trouble, they always provide Evangel positivity and remind her of the goodness in her existence. Micah is deeply admired in the Everlove family with their siblings respecting them highly, though, Evangel always admired the endless love and hope Micah held to the world and its people regardless of everything that happened to them since they came to Earth, along with their passions of general arts and outer space with the nature. Evangel was similar holding these things that much, only more quietly, yet, her love still exists.

In the present, Evangel is seventeen years old with her already graduating high school in June 2023, becoming eighteen on this coming December. Since September, she has been in an arts university at Los Angelos where the other Everlove lives while she's strongly interested in performing arts, wanting to be a musical theatre performer. She is also highly passionate of poetry and creative writings, influenced by Micah's avid interest in them, as well as she is deeply inspired by their published literature and poetry books. Evangel deeply enjoys showing her works to them and vice versa with them bonding over their written works together.

Micah extremely loves Evangel so much, and so does Evangel. They share a lot of interests and hobbies since Evangel was give that had made them most closest to each other, and Evangel was extremely grateful that Micah could exist to be one of her siblings that she never got to have before. Micah and Evangel hold a lot of aspects that they can relate to and resonate with each other despite how the large space between their developments and lifestyles. Micah has taught Evangel a lot when what love can mean and how life is worth living through every little part of it. Evangel had reminded Micah that there's always something or someone to look forward to in life and that no matter the distance and differences in any ways, love will always reach out and taking your hands.

Holding you closely before there is only kindness.

Mikey Way ! :3

 ❝ Angelstar !!! ❞ Mike instantly picks Evangel up from the door entrance ⅋ gives her big twirl of a tight hug , giggling along with the child in endless delight . Warmth builds within Mike when he remembers how their father often greeted him like this , after he would return home from school or elsewhere without him . His heart skips at the pleasant thought about how love itself can e c h o across time ⅋ space . ( Mike is most grateful that it could reach to Evangel in the end . ) They carefully place her on the floor , closing the door with the brightest grin . ❝ How was school ? Did you have a good day today ? ❞ A gasp leaves Mike when they recall something . ❝ Oh ! I have something special for you , close your eyes ! ❞ They grab their backpack they left by the side , taking out a T-Rex ⅋ Triceratops plushs . After a day at high school , Mike was able to find the time to buy them that Evangel asked them for since a week ago . They have the dinosaur plushs charge towards her , laughing at her squeals of surprise ⅋ excitement , most honored that they could make their sibling be this happy . ❝ They were so excited to come home with you ! They love you so much , Eva ! ❞ Mike embraces Evangel , shining more , ❝ As much as I love you too . ❞

Honestly, Mimi's aesthetics and ambiences makes me depressed. Her vibes generally based on dissociation and distortion and disfiguration have twinges of sadness and sorrow that can make one feel sick seeing how this is a child who already knew the agony and horror and despair of the world. Who have already experienced them so many times from many people in many spaces. Who saw humanity as monstrosity and monstrosity as beings who only wanted to live, being themselves, and her friends. Then Mike's are generally more based on disconnection and distance and disorientation that can provoke these senses of nostalgia and homesickness. Finally, the aesthetics and ambiences associated with the older main Starwakers ( Micah, Phoebus, Philos, and at times Phobos ) are much more brighter, vivid, clearer. Theirs are more filled with light and hope and love.

It's like they lived their entire childhood in the dark that distorted their senses and views while their adolescence was when they're trying to find themselves but still felt more lost than ever before, but reaching to adulthood, being in an adult, they've come to understand themselves and then eventually each other with their lives. They want to live a much more brighter life, give themselves brighter days and nights to make up for the time and space that their younger selves were in being alone and confused and hurt. The transition of the system's aesthetic and ambiences over their life is so important to me. Yes, at times their younger selves had rare non disturbing and unclear imageries and introspections, while their older selves would also occasionally had the opposite, especially Phobos, but the fact that we as the audience can truly see how their perceptions and senses to life and themselves were like in the past to the present, seeing these changes, it's just fascinating to me.

places a flower crown atop of Micah’s head. it looks beautiful!

mike's eyes brighten up when he senses yosuke's presence approaching to him. just as he greets him, his gleams flicker out of surprise at a sensation resting on top of his head. he tilts his head to find... ah, it's a flower crown that yosuke made for him! scarred fingers lift to touch the delicate head piece, sensing nothing but the love that mike can feel radiating from them, as weaved together by the kindest hands of their close friend. they wonder what they look like with the flower crown... mike can not recall the last time when they had worn something as lovely as this flower made headdress. ( they hope they look beautiful enough. ) they smile, shine more. they would love to make one for him too one day. « thanks, yosuke! this looks wonderful! » mike leans closer to give the other a light headbutt, sweet giggles slipping from them.

Thinking about Astereus when xe's a [pre]teen :]

" if you sit on the swings, i'll push you. " mike blinks in surprise at the sweet offer from @yosukeh. they have been at the playground after they had a nature walk deeper into the park. mike kept eyeing at the swings, the urge to go on it being heavy in himself, and it seems like yosuke have noticed where their focus was dwelling on. mike loves swinging so much, it's one of the best parts of a playground. vague memories waver: mike would often swing alone in the golden evening light, ever trying to reach for the sky with the moon and stars. they may still be stuck on earth, but the feeling that he was with the sky was everything to him still. mike's lips curl into a warm smile and he gives yosuke a hug, thanking him for the offer, before they run to the swings, giggling in endless delight. (above them all, the stars shine strongly, loving mike more.)

Call Mike Mikey Way and you'll instantly earn a specialiest best friendship with him.

Mike offers Rei an assuring smile when given he was given confusion over what he believes she can come to enjoy, even if it's something she isn't most familiar with it. They like to think they are great at teaching, so they hold high confidence in helping her with this. «  Cuddling is one of the best things to exist,  » they sign quickly to @primordyalsoul, bouncing on their heels with a happy soft smile, excited getting to ramble about it. «  It makes one feel so safe and happy, like nothing in the world can get between them and another. It means a lot even to get to do it with someone who you love and trust so much.  » After a time passed of them stargazing, Mike did ask Rei for cuddles in their sleepy state. She didn't know what they are, hence this very moment. With both of them resting on the field, Mike opens his arms, loving and trusting her, entirely and endlessly. «  Lemme show you, Rei! Treat this like a hug and I'll show you how the rest works!  » Mike encourages, their smile widening more.

mike is rarely affected by the cold. he can not remember the last time that he was so, but knowing the fact that winter have always been his favourite season, he believe it must be when he was younger, at a delicate time when he couldn't understand the wonders in the kind snowfalls and endless ways of seeking warmth. it is not often that he feels cold. ( nothing matters in the end when all he can feel is the burning — you have always been part of winter: you are haunted and unholy in the deep dark. ) though as concerning as it is for some others, he is more than content to travel with little layers of clothes, allowing coldness to devour their unprotected skin and veins. their parents would always remind them to wear an extra before leaving a building, though, mike could never listen as winter howls in their existence, wishing to be held.

the offer surprises mike — or rather, does @lifesver simply drape his jacket over their shoulders without giving them a chance to either accept or reject. it is a gesture that leaves mike shivering by the delicate intimacy. time slows when winter approaches, as each day passes, the atmosphere becomes colder and darker with stars flickering. in the evening, mike had invited leland to walk with them after classes. the sensations from leland's fingers linger over their body, something akin to burning ( and burning and burning — ), although mike does not lean away from his presence in anxiety. when they try to return leland his jacket instead, not wanting him to experience the cold that they can barely sense at times, to find the assurance in his gentle smile — softly, mike melts, their cheeks red and eyes brightest. « thank you so much, lestar. »

mike embraces him from behind, but make them walk still, being his protection now.

Micah Xenowake 🤝 Me / Astrifer The autistic struggles with seatbelts

A memory when Micah almost drowned saving Evangel.

" EVANGEL! "

Their body slams through the blistering cold. The light fades behind burning body while they swim towards the abyss that attempts to swallow a child whole. With their heart beating loud against their ribs, there is a gurgled screaming only they can hear.

After Micah graduated from their university, as a celebration, their parents decided to take the family to Big Bear Lake village for a week, visiting Snow Summit on the final day. Micah was twenty two and Evangel was nine when the incident happened at a lake of the woods near the village, 5pm. Micah had been to the snowy areas of Los Angeles several times before on their trips and this was Evangel's first.

Exploring the woods, Evangel was excited to see the frozen lake and she wanted to skate on it, a thing she always wanted to try since she learnt it from cartoon shows. Micah hesitated to let her do so due to the possible danger she could place herself in, but after being faced with pleas, unable to ignore, they let her skate in some minutes. Eventually, Micah was pulled to join her so she could have more fun with them.

The ice skating was one of Micah and Evangel's best memories.

Then there was an air splitting crack beneath the pair.

Micah tried to call their parents for emergency aid while they encouraged Evangel to crawl across the sheet of ice with them, although after a few movements were made, the frozen lake broke and pulled Evangel into the coldest darkness.

Without a thought, Micah jumped through the gap, screaming down to their sister.

In five minutes, after fighting the initial shock, they reach to Evangel and grip onto her. Her weight with their own together dragged the pair further to the bottom.

In ten, Micah tried to swim upward. The cruel coldness brought greater difficult in keeping their breath in and propelling movements consistent while focusing on getting themselves out of the water.

Fifteen, they could no longer feel anything. Muscles weakened, movements falling, their bodies sink.

Sixteen, the lights started to fade. Seventeen, Micah tried to pray. Eighteen, darkness reached to them. Nineteen, Micah could be thinking they didn't want to die after all.

Twenty, bubbles reached to the water surface.

Twenty three, a hand reached out of the gap before it was grabbed by the villagers and authorities, the parents of Micah and Evangel taking the cold bodies out before they were immediately taken to the emergency.

Few days later, Evangel and Micah woke up in their shared patient room, side by side. Evangel made out barely alive still recalling the event while Micah couldn't remember most of it. Micah couldn't recognize any of their family or where they were. The only thing Micah at this period thought of was the prayer that they made. It still burnt deeply on their tongue. No saints or deities ever saved them, they thought. It had always been Micah who tried to save themself and those they loved in the end─

They were the one who saved Evangel and especially Micah. Micah is too good for this world, they believed, too full of love, endless errors in their forever devotion, it's sickening. God killing.

Gazing at the night blessed sky from the hospital window, at all of the deities above, it cackled, hiding its cracked face with its frost bitten hands, lungs and eyes burning more, all bearing icy water.

The stars violently shuddered at Aphisto's presence.

Micah refers to each specific past part of themself with a short variation of their name and their respective used pronouns because they do not see themself the same as those past selves. Having a dissociative disorder that often place Micah in a position where they have distance or challenges with certain aspects of themself or their life, they find it easier to treat and perceive each past part of themself as a whole separate individual, which the Starwake System did form alters who took after those past parts. M and Mimi are likely not linked to any of the old names that Micah were given by the people who knew them from when they were one to five, before the Everlove family took them under their care, but these names are what Micah would refer them to as for easier conveniences while they want their self given names to be connected with their current one that they picked up when they reached to teenhood, Michael.

M ( it / its ) is a name referring to their youngest self before the age of five.

Mimi ( she / they ) is a name to their youth self from mid five to early fourteen.

Michael ( he / they ) to their adolescent self from fourteen to eighteen, but in as a short affectionate form while having a teen alter, the system calls them Misha.

Mike ( they / it / he / she ) was the name they then shortened after Michael when they graduated high school and prominently went by this short form from eighteen to mid twenties.

Micah ( they / xe / it ) is the name they then decided to go by as a nickname default when they reached to mid thirties and were fully settled with going by their current name. Micah is less likely to react or respond to anyone who calls them Mike due to them associating the name with their respective past self.

Been constantly rereading the writing Chuck did in response to Micah giving Charlie his birthday gift today without even knowing when his birthday was and it's just. It's just so beyond remarkable to think how Micah could even sense that in 365 days of a year, they would be able to have the right sense that they would get someone's birthday correctly. Out of 365 days for Micah to choose one day to do something special for another with their birthday while they don't have any knowledge of it, Micah still picked the day when they were born, and it wasn't from their Awareness that would give them precognition or anything about their Antigodeus self, but it's just the fact that Micah would love another so much, their own heart spoke louder for this person than their Antigod ability, a thing more natural than otherwise, and that reminds Micah this that they can still be, in a way, human despite being an Antigod, which would make Micah so relieved when they have always feared into believing they would lose their grasp on their humanity from being an overpower Antigod with this highly rare knowledge that nothing is real as everything is fictional as they are.