#which is unfortunate given I have 2 essays left | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dreamlessimp · 1 year

Text

— chores

summary: neither you, nor nagi enjoy the chores required for functioning. still, it’s better when you do them together.

warnings: nagi seishiro x gn reader, sfw, college au (undetailed), roommates au(?), reader doesn’t like doing chores, 0.7k wc

“if i make this, you have to take down the laundry.” nagi said sleepily. in his hands was a crumpled piece of paper, an overview of the coming semester given to him by his professor.

you saw the small trash can across the room to which he was aiming for. no way he made it while lying down.

“deal.” you said, crossing your fingers. “i’m praying for your downfall.”

unfortunately, you managed to forget that nagi was a well toned athlete.

he raised his arm and after a brief judgment of the distance, he threw the balled up information directly into its target.

he looked at you. “made it.”

you groaned. “i’ll take it later.” you scooted your chair back into your desk in an effort to round off your essay.

“if you’re not doing it now then play a game with me.” he said, meeting your gaze convincingly.

“and stop being productive altogether?” you laughed. “can’t do that.”

still, after a distasteful moment of looking at your nearly done essay, you decided you did have to be productive in at least one way.

you stood up to search the room, looking for any evidence of a stray item of clothing that had escaped the clearly labeled dirty laundry baskets.

your eyes landed on a wrinkled shirt stuffed into a corner. once identifying that it was nagi’s, you quietly walked to his room and lightly threw it onto him.

“huh?” he choked out from under the light shirt, which had landed on his face. he gestured to his phone once he moved the shirt. “hey. i almost died.”

“in real life or the game?” you asked jokingly from another room.

“the game.” he huffed loud enough for you to hear.

sitting up, he saw you wandering around the main room of the dorm past the open door. after a shrug he shut off and pocketed his phone, then made his way to where you were preparing for two trips down to the washing machines.

“i’ll help.” he said, picking up his own laundry basket.

“the bare minimum.” you laughed, aiming a thankful nod to him ensuring he knew you were happily accepting. “even if you did win.”

“which i did.” he said before opening the dorm’s door and allowing you into the main area.

the two of you trudged down the multiple flights of stairs, until you made it to the darkened laundry room. you flicked on the lights with the back of your hand and quickly made the transfer from the laundry baskets to the washing machines.

nagi turned them on and after you checked to make sure they were actually on, the two of you began walking back.

then, you had a thought.

“if i beat you, you have to do the dishes.” you said with a smile as you approached the stairs.

“in what?” nagi asked. a second later though, he realized with a start that he’d made a mistake.

“race you.” you announced with a smirk. with that, you began running up the stairs, leaving nagi at the bottom to grapple both of the laundry baskets you’d left behind.

nagi was fast, but with the 2 baskets and your head start, he lost.

once he met you at the top, his face remained blank as the dropped the laundry baskets to the floor where they landed still standing.

you picked both up, and carried them into your unlocked dorm.

“the dishes need washing.” you teased, sitting on the couch.

“sounds like a pain. i don’t get why we can’t just have a normal dishwasher. doing dishes with your hands is such a bother.” nagi complained, not at all planing to complete the task at hand.

“dorm.” you responded, flatly. you yourself, hated doing the dishes.

nagi remained standing still. it’d be too much of a hassle for him to simply do the dishes, so when he saw you simply sitting on the couch, he took an alternative route.

he walked up to the couch and sat down next to you. it tinted his face red, but he continued steadily scooting himself closer to you.

by the time you noticed him, the upper half of his body was already fully leaning against you.

“do i have to do the dishes?” he said, voice muffled by his face buried into your head.

the warmth of his body pressed against yours brought even more warmth into your face. “later.” you said with a smile, as you allowed yourself to relax into him.

#nagi seishiro x reader #nagi x reader #nagi fluff #nagi seishiro #blue lock nagi #blue lock #blue lock fluff #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk #bllk nagi #bllk fluff #ssimpfics

216 notes · View notes

asteroidzzzn · 10 months

Text

dance, baby! | part 2

pairing: dancer!reader x soccer!ellie

warnings: cursing, reader is still delulu and very anxious

word count: 1.9k

a/n: hi here is part 2 yayyyyy! im rlly excited i think this is cute :')

summary: ellie williams showed up to the nutcracker to watch you, which caused you to get distracted and fall. unfortunately for you, she's decided to make a habit of getting you flustered on stage.

༊*·˚

"would it be weird to invite her though?"

"dude, you know she's gonna go anyways. she's like, obsessed with you."

"ugh, i don't know..."

you sat on your bed with jade, who was annoyed with your overthinking, convinced that ellie liked you back, while you were debating whether or not to invite ellie to your upcoming dance show.

you had told jade about the small crush you formed shortly after you realized what you felt. it didn't take long for you to fall for her. she was so funny and kind, and your heartbeat never failed to quicken when she would ramble about something she was interested in with a massive grin.

since she went to see the nutcracker back in december, the two of you spent nearly every day together, especially during winter break. in february, you told her you were accepted to choreograph your very own piece for the upcoming spring showcase, which prompted her to hug you tightly, telling you how you would do amazing.

that was one of the many things you loved about her. she knew just what to say all time to ease your nerves before you ever told her you were nervous. she could see right through you.

one thing you wished she didn't see, though, were the fleeting glances and rosy cheeks from each time her hand grazed yours for a moment too long.

you fell back on your bed, face in your hands.

"i mean, i think my dance is good. it's just... she's gonna watch it knowing that i made it.

jade blinked. "what's so bad about that?"

you let out an exasperated sigh. "it's like asking someone to read your essay. actually, asking a whole class. it's so nerve racking. everyone in the room will have an opinion on something i choreographed."

"oh, how dare people perceive you."

you chuckled. "yeah, how dare they. you know what? i'll just do it."

you typed out a message to ellie inviting her to the spring showcase in a moment of short-lived boldness.

jade had to click send for you.

on the day of the show, you sat in the dressing room applying makeup for the first piece you danced in. you wore a beautiful pink flowing dress which looked like rose petals, and you put gold glitter on your eyelids.

the dance was about how love can come unexpectedly. your favorite part was when each dancer ran across the stage, searching for their parter. once the partners were all together, the music crescendoed, and you performed a beautiful partnering section. your instructor made it for her wife and named the piece love is love.

the dance you choreographed was also heavily focused on partnering. you were given five dancers to work with, so one was left without a partner. they reached into nothing, while the people with partners disregarded each other, taking what they had for granted.

it ended with the lone dancer falling to her knees, with a spotlight shining on her, and the partners walking away in the darkness.

jade was the only person you trusted to watch the dance before it went to the stage. she loved it, but, no matter how much praise she gave you, nausea still washed over you as you made your way backstage to talk to your dancers one final time before your piece became known to the world.

you gathered the five and huddled together in the wings.

"ok guys, you're gonna do great. i've loved working with you, and thank you for making my vision come to life," you giggled softly as the girls hugged you, whispering promises to perform their best for you.

you sat and watched the dance, occasionally peeking at the audience to see their reactions. it was difficult to read most people in the room, but you could obviously tell ellie loved it, from the way she was attentively watching. she knew it was yours, because there was large text projected on the screen behind the stage stating your name and the title of your dance before the lights faded in.

you found yourself smiling wider than you would like to admit at the fact she was sitting in the front row, again.

once the dance concluded, the audience gave a large applause. everything went perfectly. you couldn't stop showering your dancers with praise for their performance.

shortly after, it was time for love is love. you met up with your partner you entered stage with backstage. you took multiple deep breaths with your eyes closed, clearing your mind.

your partner squeezed your hand. she could sense your anxiety from the way your hand trembled in hers. you were worried you would fall from the lift the two of you always struggled with.

you weren't sure you'd survive the embarrassment of falling in front of ellie (and a massive crowd, but they didn't matter as much) again.

"we got this," your partner whispered, and you flashed her a quick apprehensive smile. you entered stage during the blackout and sat down as the audience cheered in anticipation.

against your better judgement, once your head rose, your eyes found ellie's. next time you would have to tell her to sit in the back of the house. wear glasses, perhaps. she was too pretty for her own good.

you quickly turned away, and your partner guided you up. she gripped your arm and waist, pulling you onto her shoulder. you held your breath. wobbled slightly.

but you stayed.

you swiftly rolled off of her back and landed, taking her hand and running off for the next partner to enter. there was slight applause for the stunt, and quite a loud wooo! stood out from the front row.

you reentered the stage to complete the exhausting group section, eventually falling to the floor in a clump with the others, breathing heavily, holding each other close.

your gaze shifted to the audience a final time before exiting. ellie and the two people on either side of her had slipped away. you chose to push that to the back of your mind for now. you walked out during the blackout, panting as you made your way to the dressing room to grab water.

jade's yellow dress flowed as she ran up behind you, gripping your shoulders and almost tipping you over. you let out a slight squeal as she laughed, wrapping her arms around your neck.

"that was the best run we've ever done, oh my god! and your lift with marcie was so good!"

you giggled, "i know right! now get off of me, you're so sticky and sweaty, and i really need to get some water."

jade gripped your arm so you couldn't escape her hold. "actually, let's go outside to get some fresh air real quick."

"can i at least get my water first?"

"uh, no this is really important," she ushered you to the back door to enter the parking lot.

your eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "we could've gone out the side door, why are we all the way back..." your words fell short at the sight in front of you.

you recognized dina and jesse as ellie's friends, who stood giggling behind a very red ellie williams, holding out pink flowers to you. matching your costume, again. it was sickeningly sweet.

you approached her as she began speaking with a very noticeable quiver in her words.

"uh, ignore them," she gestured to dina and jesse, "i couldn't bribe them out of not being here."

you chuckled nervously, glancing back at jade. she threw up a thumbs-up with a giddy smile.

ellie cleared her throat before speaking again. "i was wondering if you... wanted to... go out with me? sometime? y'know, like a date...? we, uh, thought it would be kinda fitting to ask after a dance called love is love, cause, yeah. by the way, you were beautiful, it was so-"

you cut her adorable rambling short by wrapping your arms around her, whispering, "yesyesyes," into her neck.

she hugged you in return, nearly lifting you off the ground with how tight she was pulling you in. when you separated, the both of you wore beaming expressions.

jade suddenly punched your shoulder. "i literally told you she liked you back!"

dina folded her arms behind ellie, lifting a smug eyebrow. "yeah, so did i."

you and ellie flushed at the revelation you had been hopelessly pining over each other. despite that, words couldn't describe how ecstatic you felt that ellie reciprocated your feelings. you were over the moon.

she handed you the bouquet. "i should go, i don't wanna miss more of the show."

"yeah, i'll see you later," you pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, leaving her with a small mark from your red lipstick. once you reached the dressing room inside you immediately grabbed jade, pulling her into a hug and jumping up and down.

"oh my god oh my godohmygod!"

jade indulged your giddiness, jumping along with you as you squeeled. little did you know, ellie was doing the same exact thing, just outside the door.

༊*·˚

near the beginning of may, ellie had a huge game coming up. and what good of a girlfriend would you be if you didn't try your absolute hardest to embarrass her?

ellie situated herself into her position on the field, where she was a midfielder, whatever that was.

was this how clueless she felt while watching you dance? she joked around about how she could never understand the silly dance terminology, and she insisted you were submitting yourself to torture when you told her you're actually standing on your toes in pointe shoes.

you watched the girls run around the field, cheering when the crowd did, even though you had no idea what had just happened.

after a few minutes, your team got a goal.

"hell yeah! let's go!" you whooped among the crowd, catching the attention of ellie. you waved at her, smiling. she seemed surprised you were there, attempting to mouth something at you, but she was rudely interrupted by a girl from the opposite team shoving her out of the way.

you snorted at the way she stumbled, catching your eyes one more time before running after the girl.

you hadn't told you you'd be showing up since you had a dress rehearsal for the upcoming competition, but you wouldn't miss any of her games for the world.

she caught up to the girl, swerving expertly around her and directing the ball to the opposite side, taking a risk and kicking it as hard as she could, and she scored.

"that's my girl!" you shouted loudly, clapping for her as her teammates ran up to her, high-fiving and celebrating.

despite all the attention she was getting from her team, her eyes were glued to you, her biggest cheerleader.

nothing in the world could compare to the way she looked at you once she found you in the bleachers after the game.

"hi," you giggled into her hair as she rushed up and pulled you into a hug, spinning you around. "you were amazing!"

"you're amazing," she muttered before kissing you. after a few moments she pulled away, still out of breath from the game. "i thought you had a dress rehearsal to be at right now?"

you pushed a piece of her hair that had stuck to her forehead away from her eyes. "well yeah, but you're more important than a dress rehearsal, i already know my dances like the back of my hand. and i told mrs. morgan i was gonna show up late anyways," you glanced over her shoulder to see her team beckoning her to come over.

you pressed your hands on her chest, pushing away slightly. "your team wants you over there, and i should head out now."

"ok," she pecked your lips and began backing away. "have fun at dance, baby! love you!" she called from over her shoulder.

"i love you, too els," you grinned brightly.

you were the luckiest girl in the world.

༊*·˚

a/n: yayy im so happy with how this turned out!! (*^▽^*) btw i know nothing about soccer besides the things i've seen my little sister do when she plays so,,,,,, apologizes if i said something dumb ikik. again feedback is rlly appreciated bc im kinda sorta new to writing, anything helps! tysm for reading!! hope u enjoyed this :)

tags: @ximtiredx

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fluff #tlou game #the last of us #tlou 2 #wlw

94 notes · View notes

triflesandparsnips · 8 months

Text

Good Omens Book Club

So I have, in other fandoms, talked about the importance of what an audience can actually see on the screen. Specifically: When a constrained format (like, say, between 45 to 56 minutes of a single visual/audio input) is telling a constrained story (like, say, something that must start, climax, and resolve within some kind of structure), it's useful for the audience to pay attention to what gets given the valuable real estate of camera/story time.

So when time is given and effort made to show the actual titles of actual books... well.

Figure 1. Local bookshelf weighted down by an over-abundance of literary allusions.

This is a screenshot from episode 3 of Good Omens's second season, as Jim is reshelving all the books in Aziraphale's book shop by the first letter of their first sentences. He's about to shelve Jane Austens's Pride and Prejudice ("It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.") and the red sideways book, that he is about to pick up, is Good Omens itself ("It was a nice day.").

But, unusually, we can see the title of almost every other book on the shelf. Several of them appeared in the advertising poster, too, as I outlined previously (if you click that link, be advised that I am very proud of several bits of that essay and also let's not talk about how my go-to for musical references is Middle English folk rather than, say, Buddy Holly). Anyway-- with this in mind, and the understanding that time, effort, and celluloid have been spent on getting this shot to the audience, it would behoove us, I think, to actually look at these books.

Figure 2. A pair of showrunners providing not-so-subtle ancillary notation suggesting the same thing, so really, this is a no-brainer in terms of meta fodder.

Okay, Trifles, so what about the book club

Technically, this isn't my idea. It's Neil's and Douglas's, so jot that down.

What I figure is, I can provide a list of the books shown, their first lines, and a VERY brief summary of each. Those are below. And as I rewatch the show, I may reblog this post with additions, but also...

I've read some of these, but not all of them, and not recently -- with at least one of them, though, I remember enough to know that the first line and summary do nothing to showcase the heartrending possibilities the book may be alluding to for the overall Good Omens narrative.

And further-- as I collected these summaries and first lines, I started noticing some compelling commonalities. Which I, for one, would like to confirm and dig into more deeply.

So while I'm going to start reading these, it might be a Nice Idea for other folks to do so as well. The more write-ups we can get, the greater the concordance of Interesting Insights might be available. (And if you tag me in your write up, or otherwise draw my attention, I will gladly link your essay up here for the edification of others omfg.)

ANYWAY

The "Jim Shelving" Book List

From right to left (which feels odd, but it's the actual alphabetical-by-letter arrangement), and summaries from various internet sources:

Herzog, by Saul Bellows

"If I am out of my mind, it's all right with me, thought Moses Herzog."

"Herzog is a 1964 novel by Saul Bellow, composed in part of letters from the protagonist [...] The novel follows five days in the life of Moses E. Herzog who, at the age of forty-seven, is having a midlife crisis following his second divorce."

A Series of Unfortunate Events, (series) by Lemony Snicket

"If you are interested in happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book."

The first book in the series, The Bad Beginning, "tells the story of three children, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, who become orphans following a fire and are sent to live with Count Olaf, who attempts to steal their inheritance."

The Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger

"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth."

"The novel details two days in the life of 16-year-old Holden Caulfield after he has been expelled from prep school. [...] From what is implied to be a sanatorium, Holden, the narrator and protagonist, tells the story of his adventures before the previous Christmas."

The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald

"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since."

"Set in the Jazz Age on Long Island, near New York City, the novel depicts first-person narrator Nick Carraway's interactions with mysterious millionaire Jay Gatsby and Gatsby's obsession to reunite with his former lover, Daisy Buchanan."

The Bible, (anthology) by God et al.

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."

"25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying 'Where is the flaming sword that was given unto thee?'

26 And the Angel said, 'I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next.'

27 And the Lord did not ask him again."

The Big Sleep, by Raymond Chandler

"It was about eleven o’clock in the morning, mid October, with the sun not shining and a look of hard wet rain in the clearness of the foothills."

"Private investigator Philip Marlowe is hired by wealthy General Sternwood to stop a blackmailer. Marlowe suspects that the old General is merely testing his caliber before trusting him with a bigger job, one involving Sternwood's two amoral daughters."

Nineteen Eighty-Four, by George Orwell

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."

"In George Orwell's iconic and prophetic masterpiece, 1984, a haunting vision of a dystopian future unfolds. Set in a world dominated by the all-seeing eye of Big Brother, the story follows Winston Smith, a lowly Party member whose very thoughts are scrutinized. As the Party manipulates history and suppresses truth, Winston's yearning for individuality and connection pushes him into a daring dance on the edge of rebellion."

[A title I cannot, unfortunately, read-- if anyone who HAPPENS to be familiar with the show and HAPPENS to perhaps also be on tumblr just HAPPENS to say what this book might be, that would be Very Much Appreciated]

"????"

[WOW I WISH I WAS A SUMMARY OH WELL]

Catch-22, by Joseph Heller

"It was love at first sight."

"Set in the closing months of World War II in an American bomber squadron off the coast of Italy, Catch-22 is the story of a bombardier named Yossarian who is frantic and furious because thousands of people he has never even met keep trying to kill him. Joseph Heller's bestselling novel is a hilarious and tragic satire on military madness, and the tale of one man's efforts to survive it."

Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel García Márquez

"It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love."

"The story, which treats the themes of love, aging, and death, takes place between the late 1870s and the early 1930s in a South American community troubled by wars and outbreaks of cholera. It is a tale of two lovers, artistic Florentino Ariza and wealthy Fermina Daza, who reunite after a lifetime apart."

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon

"It was seven minutes after midnight."

"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time is a 2003 mystery novel by British writer Mark Haddon. [...] The novel is narrated in the first-person perspective by Christopher John Francis Boone, a 15-year-old boy who is described as "a mathematician with some behavioural difficulties" living in Swindon, Wiltshire. [...] Christopher sets out to solve the murder [of a neighbor's dog] in the style of his favourite (logical) detective, Sherlock Holmes."

The Crow Road, by Iain Banks

"It was the day my grandmother exploded."

A Scottish family drama about a perfect murder against the backdrop of the 1990s Gulf War. "This Bildungsroman is set in the fictional Argyll town of Gallanach, the real village of Lochgair, and in Glasgow, where the adult Prentice McHoan lives. Prentice's uncle Rory disappeared eight years previously while writing a book called The Crow Road. Prentice becomes obsessed with papers his uncle left behind and sets out to solve the mystery. Along the way he must cope with estrangement from his father, unrequited love, sibling rivalry, and failure at his studies."

No Woman No Cry: My Life with Bob Marley, by Rita Marley with Hettie James

"I was an ambitious girl child."

"Fans of reggae legend Bob Marley will welcome this no-nonsense biography from his wife, Rita, who was also his band member, business partner, musical collaborator and the only person to have witnessed firsthand his development from local Jamaican singer to international superstar."

I Capture the Castle, by Dodie Smith

"I write this sitting in the kitchen sink."

"I Capture the Castle tells the story of seventeen-year-old Cassandra and her family, who live in not-so-genteel poverty in a ramshackle old English castle. Here she strives, over six turbulent months, to hone her writing skills. She fills three notebooks with sharply funny yet poignant entries. Her journals candidly chronicle the great changes that take place within the castle's walls, and her own first descent into love."

...and because I happen to know and love this book, I'm aware of the devastating last lines...

"Only the margin left to write on now. I love you, I love you, I love you."

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens book club

55 notes · View notes

slocumjoe · 11 months

Note

If you were to rate the Fo4 companions from most to least favourite how would you rate them?

I can't list them in order, because I have too many feelings on them....and also, I love them all! It's just...there's such a Rollercoaster of quality of writing, of character concept, of VA performance, of actual attention and care given to the meat-and-potatoes aspects...

Like, I can say I have a favorite (Danse) and a least favorite (Piper) and a dude in the middle who I give not a crap about (Deacon), but I still like these characters??? They're fun! Its just, I like my idea of them more than what's actually there.

So, uhhhh

RORY TALKS ABOUT THE COMPANIONS 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

this is basically a long-post of a bunch of mini-essays, so grab a snack or nice bev and get cozy

Cait, to me, is a prime example of "this character sounds better on paper". I've already complained about her three greatest flaws; being bloated, being mishandled, and being a very confused character. If I were to describe Cait, it would be that she's a troubled young woman who was traumatized all her life, but understands that it's effected her heavily and wants to work past it and better herself.

In game, she's...an Irish Girl. She talks about drinking and fucking and fighting. If not that, she's detailing her absolutely horrific life. It gives me tonal whiplash. I feel like they were too busy adding things on rather than fleshing her out. I mean, really...what is the significance of the Tough Irish Girl type in the wasteland, where everyone acts that way? Is Cait an example of your average wastelander, someone whos supposed to show the daily life in this world? Well...no, that can't be it, she's put away from others, an outsider who doesn't fit in whatever circumstances she finds herself in. She doesn't belong with raiders, she doesn't fit into the average civilian life. So, is she about ostracization and how even after being nuked, there still is a society to ostracize people? That is brought up in text, but that's not at all Cait's thing, that concept is with Hancock.

I travel with Cait to quickly get her affinity up to speedrun her "recovery" (see the Cait breakdown to learn my thoughts on That Fucking Chair) because I want her to get better...but I don't like traveling with her that much. It's not just that she often disagrees with my usual choices, she's just rather flat. I don't get the impression that the writers really considered her psychology, what she stood for, what someone should or could take away from her.

But I like her conceptually. There's a lot of fun and emotional catharsis to be had with a traumatized character like her, someone who has to navigate life after escaping her bad situations, and not knowing what to do with the survival instincts she had to cultivate, but no longer needs.

Codsworth is inoffensive to me, and I like sassy but polite characters. I find them refreshing in settings like Fallout. I had more fun imagining his lines as thinly-veiled bitching than sincerity, though. I think he's fine, just simple. Simple is best, sometimes. I wouldn't trust Beth to give the indentured servitude robot an even remotely palatable story, given how they handled the synths and their whole thing...

But Codsworth, I like having him around. He's the lemon water to the black coffee, sugary soda, whiskey, and occasional cups of tar. He's needed at a palette cleanser.

Curie should have been a main plot companion, argue with the wall. She's a Ms. Nanny who becomes a synth, which are functionally human beings. She has a lot of narrative potential, being an example and counterargument for many different things.

Unfortunately, she's kept mostly a secret, being the most hidden companion, and she's left as a simple French maid fantasy. I'm not even sure why they bothered to make her a doctor. It has nothing to do with how she's actually handled and presented. Curie's more often blushing than meaningfully interacting with the world. She talks to Amari, she becomes a synth, and the rest of her story is just her going KYAA~ at the SS. I wish they gave her some edge, some weirdness. I like my version where she's this slightly pretentious, condescending, incredibly old-seeming entity that clearly doesnt come from around here.

Danse...my boy. My boy. I adore him. You don't need me to explain why. And you don't need me to explain why his incomplete writing infuriates me.

I've said before he's very similar to Hancock, and since I have something else I want to discuss about with Johnny down in this, I'll use Danse's slot to discuss it, very quickly.

Danse and Hancock are remarkably similar people and characters, even there is parts that drift or parallel in their differences.

Substance dependency (Hancock does chems, Danse is a canonical alcoholic)

They both struggled to find their footing and place in the world, and hate the people they were in their act 1's (Hancock's takes place during his founding of Goodneighbor, Danse's after BB)

They're fiercely loyal and protective of 'their people', even if it can take a LOT for them to consider someone 'their people'

Both are suicidal and identity plays a huge part (Hancock pretends to be someone he isn't, Danse is desperate to be the person he thought he was this whole time/hates that he isn't who he thought he was)

Both of these characters are two sides of the same coin. It's just that Danse's upbringing led him to believe in authority and control being the best way to help and take care of the wasteland, Hancock's upbringing (filled with corrupt authority and control) led him to believe in an egalitarian, we-all-lift mindset where the people have the power, he's just the guy who people talk to about any issues. It's somewhat implied that Cutler was similar to Hancock, judging by Danse's few lines about Cutler.

So uuuhhh Todd where the fuck is the last 2 arcs for danse and last arc for hancock? todd? todd where the fu

As said above, Deacon is nothing to me. I like him. I don't care about him much. I think he's fun to play with, but the moment you start getting into his backstory/angst, I slide right the fuck off.

Okay, the Barb thing. Dead wife. Fucking boring story, done to death. At the point I met Deacon, I had already met Mac, Nick, knew of Longfellow and his deal. So it was like "JESUS they really dont know any other reason for a dude to be sad, do they." But the thing that keeps me from caring about Deacon is that no one can agree if Barb is real. If that actually happened.

...his backstory is supposed to inform his character. Why is Deacon doing this? Because of his backstory. If his backstory isn't real, we know nothing about Deacon, and he is, functionally, not a character. Why does Deacon lie if Barb didnt happen? Dunno. He just...does. Why is Deacon helping synths? Uhh...we needed an RR companion? Deacon's character rides or dies on Barb. If she's real, then the rest of him makes sense. She's the windex and towel to the cloudy glass house that is the rest of him. If she isn't, Deacon...doesn't matter, in any meaningful way. He's a guy in the RR who lies about everything, which means you can't care about him. Because there is nothing to care about, because it's all bullshit.

So, that's my thoughts on Deacon, in-canon. I don't know what his deal is or if his proposed deal is genuine, so I can't click with him. But in my own canon, Barb is real, so my Deacon ken-doll does appeal to me. But in Fallout 4, in text, I regard him the same as I do Tom Bombadil. To give you an idea of how flimsy Deacon is in text, a prevailing fan theory from around 2017-18 was that Deacon was Mrs. Rosa's son. Mrs. Rosa was a pre-war neighbor. Her son was a kid. The fact that Deacon is so weird and fluid and almost omniscient isn't a plus for me, it isn't a point of fascination. It's a puzzle that I know doesn't have a finished product, so I leave and go hang out with Danse, who can't speak if he isn't being absurdly blunt.

Gage is a character that deserved a better DLC. The more I think about Nuka World the more I kinda wish it was just Gage and the handmade rifle, instead the map...but that's about Nuka World. Gage himself could have easily been a swing and a miss and fall face-first into the dirt, but he's a surprisingly well-written character? There are layers of psychology with him. You can look at an action or opinion he has, and map it to something that happened to him. You can literally unravel why he does what he does, is who he is. His writers had a concept for him, and they worked backwards to understand why he would become that way.

What really sells him is his VA. Rolston put his whole pussy into that performance. Gage has so many lines that would be utter cringe if not full-assed. The "That vault suit makes your ass look great" line comes to mind...i've seen modded followers with similar lines, and jesus christ i want to pepper spray some of them. It helps that Gage has multiple faucets to his personality. It also helps that he is intentionally distinct from the other raiders, and occasionally doesn't associate with them, himself. It gives him standards and principles, which help give him shape and dimension. Good character. He isn't my favorite, that's Danse, but he's up there.

Hancock is such a waste of a character and it boggles me no one else seems to think so.

He starts on a bad note because his core reason for existing, is Beth wanted a historical figure reference. There's a reason he gives you a history lesson about John Hancock, it's so everyone knows exaclty what Johnny Ghoulie is a reference to. It's not even so much a reference, because it is a direct mimicking. I cannot stand the moments in 4 where something exists because the team learned a fun historical trivia fact, and wanted to pepper in that they did research. I've already bitched about their love of this with the Railroad at some point on this blog.

I genuinely wouldn't mind Hancock if he wasn't pulling so limp-dickedly. It's specifically the contrivance of explaining why this dude is called John Hancock, in John Hancock's clothing. It's okay if they pull from history and allude to it, But Hancock is just...some history stuff tacked on, with no real thought or care. The clothing, the name, the catchphrase. I feel like this is Disney's Hamilton on Ice.

But moving away from that...what is the point of Hancock?

Is his character about drug use and addiction? NOPE, only Cait's addiction is noteworthy. Okay...idenity issues, since he's larping? Not really. It could be, but that's not at all of interest to the story/writing itself. The Hancock thing is an aesthetic, not a trait. So, don't have that either. Is his character about leadership, in any capacity? Kinda, I guess. He briefly mentions insecurities and guilt about it a few times. But if I said "Hancock's story is about leadership", most people would raise an eyebrow and ask why. Not because it's...wrong, it's just not prominent enough to say that's his story, definitively.

So...what is the point of him? What should I take away from Hancock? Duty to the people? Preston does that, and does it better/more explicitly. Regret about past actions? Mac does that. Protecting the people from political corruption? Piper's thing (AND WE'LL GET TO FUCKING PIPER.) What is there to Hancock that isn't done by another companion? It isn't his depression because ALL these bitches be suicidal. What is unique to Hancock? Pretending to be someone else? Deacon. Drugs? Cait. Trying to figure out who you are, removed from the expections that come with having been someone else? Nick. Leadership, and the failures of it? Danse. Struggling to navigate the world in a new, different body, as a new person, functionally? Curie.

The only thing I can think of is mentioned only twice, and is immediately brushed off; the questionable nature of your leader being buddy-buddy with you, and acting like 'one of the bros' even as they hold power over you and have resources you don't. Parasocial government, if you will. It's brought up by Finn and Bobby No-Nose and is shut down/forgotten.

So...the only thing unique to Hancock, and it's regulated to, like, 3 individual throw-away lines. 2 of which you can miss.

Great.

Again, I like him. I just like him when I'm writing him, and can actually have him work through his shit and concepts. But as he stands, he's just...hey, y'know John Hancock? New Vegas also pulled from history, but New Vegas had shit to say about it. There was debating. There was actual philosophy and politics. There wasn't some dude named Caesar who was just...hanging out. What does Fallout 4 say about John Hancock?

Here's something you can say about Hancock; Hancock owned slaves. He inherited them from his uncle, Thomas Hancock. He later freed them due to terms in Thomas' will. But the guy Fallout 4 meagerly puts up as a figure of freedom and independence, and duty to fellow man, was a slave owner, and had slave owning family.

So, what does that mean for our Hancock? Who looked up to this guy, mantled him, and this guy is, in some way, a perversion of his own ideals.

And our Hancock's favorite quote is from Lincoln. Who started the Civil War. Did Lincoln own slaves? Contested, i couldn't find any clear answers. But Hancock mantles a slave owner, using a quote from the president that would try to outlaw slavery, while pushing for freedom and independence and anarchist rhetoric.

Is that the best you can do with Hancock? No. But it's an example.

MacCready, I've compared to a can of Campbell's soup. He's simple, he's decently-done. He's not Codsworth's lemon water but he isn't Cait's tar. I often struggle to write MacCready because he's so simple. There's not much there, he isn't a complex character. He's not even a complex person. And I like that! I like that the grumpy mercenary is a normal guy, who's just going through the motions and has simple desires. His type is often tar and I'm happy to see that subverted.

Its just that his lack of complexity means there's not much to say about him that you don't already know. He's accessible, which is a good thing. Most people don't want to drink tar, but if you're reaching for a fun beverage, you're not often reaching for water, either.

I think the best thing about MacCready is how excellent he is as a romance option. I think he's the strongest romantic choice in the game, period, largely due to him being a simple guy. I would go for MacCready IRL, because he's a good dad, he has good work ethic, and he's emotionally available and isn't afraid to talk feelings, without being a clusterfuck of issues. I love Danse, but you have to talk him out of suicide before you do anything, and he himself will admit that there's going to be a lot of issues simply because he doesn't know what he's doing or what he wants out of his new life.

You don't get that with MacCready. He knows what he wants and who he is and what he cares about. He's such a solid romantic interest, and there's incredible fic potential with the Sole Survivor and MacCready both as soon-to-be grieving parents.

On the flipside, I can't understand people who romance Nick and think its all sunshine and roses. Mini-rant, but /rad-roche (i think thats their user?) has the right idea, with Nick being a hot mess of unresolved issues who is never not projecting or in denial. Nick is not fit for a romantic relationship, not in the state you see him in game. Especially not before Far Harbor. Especially if you don't get the good ending of Far Harbor. I know, bisexual women, I'm sorry. He's got more shit than Danse and Hancock combined. I write romantic Nick prompts as if this isn't the case, but make no mistake. Me giving yall what you want is not me under the impression that this is a good idea.

Anyway. Nick himself.

Dead wife. Booo. I've already complained about his dumbass quest, which i really dislike for all its contrivances. Also, I find him mismatched with the world around him, and I wish there was more attention paid to that. He's a stock character playing out in real life (in Fallout 4's real life, that is). He's a 40's noir flick detective. This character does not belong in a post-apocalypse. This is an urban setting character. Fallout is not urban.

But that doesn't mean he can't exist! I just wish they went more ham with it. I mean, how does a detective function in a lawless wasteland, full of secrets simply because there's so few people see shit happening, know what goes down? It's an information blackout, out there, and a detective is all about information. Nick deserved to be let loose and go full camp on it all. Instead, we got 2 piddly little piss stains of "mystery" side quests. With someone as clashing as Nick, you really need to either sand down the edges to make him fit, or make the fact he's so weird part of the Thing. Nick is played incredibly straight, and given that that man is clearly lgbtq+, i find that almost a waste. Let this man be deranged. This is why Far Harbor is best Nick. He's holding together in the base game, but i don't want him holding together. I want him to suffer. I want him to monolog like Hamlet before driving a cane into someone's forehead.

Now, as for Piper...

Oh, Piper.

You were doomed.

You were so fucking doomed.

I've written about Piper and her shitty paper multiple times, so if you want a refresher, go to my blog > pinned post > meta section, and find the Piper posts. My peer review of The Synthetic Truth will be your best look into what I think of Piper.

The thing is, if you removed her awfully done journalism aspect, I'd like her base form! When she isn't going on and on about shit that's either wrong, baseless, or presumptuous, she's sassy, she's community-orianted, she's mischievous, she's kinda sardonic. She has a sugar problem. She's a burnt out 20 year old with a parentification issue. There's a lot to like here! The problem is they set up the journalism, fuck it up, and then veer hard-right and crash into the "I'm raising a kid when I'm not even an adult either" thing, where it had no build up or time to unfold naturally.

In my own little world, Piper's journalism fuckups are addressed and have consequences. I don't want her smoothed out and perfect, I want her glaring flaws to be intentional and acknowledged. And that just doesn't happen in text.

Ive also got a ramble on my thoughts on Preston. I've said before I don't like his voice acting most of the time, and I actually got a lot of pushback?? But the people who disagreed didnt...disagree...they just pointed out that John Gentry had a gnarly recording circumstance. I think it was that his first takes weren't supposed to be the final product, because he wasn't really intended to be the VA? Something like that, I forget. Point is, I said John Gentry obviously had a rough time in the booth, and wasn't given a fair shot, and people went "No, his voice acting is good! John Gentry just had a rough time with his line recording and wasn't given a fair shot!"

M-ma'am. Thats...what I said.

If it makes anyone feel better, I don't like the majority of the voice acting in this game...a lot of it is very 'modded skyrim character.' Remember the Skyrim Romance Mod? Thats what most of it sounds like to me. Remember Mrs. Peabody? Holy shit. Do not let anyone involved in that cook ever again. I also have personal beef with Nate. The male VA for the SS...someone, somewhere, made a bunch of choices. It was the wrong one, frequently. (The only good male SS line i can think of is the one romancing Danse. Has some texture to it. It's shy and cute, very good)

As for Preston himself, love him, love my paragon good-guy characters. He's such a sweetheart but he's down for bloodshed. I adore those kinds of characters, those "do no harm, take no shit" types. He's treated as a fluffball by fanon (when not suffering racist ass takes or absolute disregard), but Preston has got some lovely edges to him. If you go through his dialogue page and his approvals, you'll find he can be hard at times. There are moments he approves of 'asshole' choices, which is very fun. I love this dude.

Anyway hot take. IF HE WAS WHITE, ALL OF THESE BITCHES WOULD LIKE HIM. YEAH. I SAID IT. He'd be a depressed white man who's buff and kind and snarky, and you Danse girlies, you Nick girlies, you Deacon girlies, all of them would love him too. He is tailor made for standom but nooo, he isn't #FFFFFF so I guess he's doomed to stupid ass settlement jokes.

Yall lack taste. Hawk puhtoo.

SPEAKING OF AWFUL FUCKING TASTE, LEAVE MY BABY X6-88 ALONE.

X6-88 is so unappreciated. Grotesquely so, by both Bethesda and fans.

X6-88, I've said many times, is a spoiled rich man's cat who sits all poised and hisses if you so much as look at it if you're below a certain tax bracket. He's fussy and egotistical and snippy and dislikes bugs, children, water, heights, and generally anything above ground. He gushes over Danse and thinks he's the coolest. He'll let you kill the Institute if you're Railroad or Minutemen and have high affinity with him. He'll brag about getting to travel with you with his courser buddies. He's a fucking dork.

X6-88 is a nerd/prep who could be goth if left in a Hot Topic to run wild, but until then, he's in a suit for his private school and he's going to sit on HIS bench at recess and snipe at the rival school children with his friends and then he goes home and complains that his english eacher failed him on his Roman history test for writing it in perfect Latin. That is X6-88.

If you don't like X6-88 we cannot be friends. Fuckiung look at him. He's such a little shit. He's perfect.

35 notes · View notes

tristandelarkadien · 9 months

Text

On Clive & Maurice, pt. 1

Let me try to write out my thoughts on one of my favourite novels, and explain why the casting changes the implications of the movie.

I watched Maurice a while back. The film, not the novel. I had looked forward to seeing Hugh Grant, as I thought him a good choice for the main character. Needless to say, I was surprised and confused to see him playing Clive. Even more surprised and confused to see a small blond actor playing Maurice, and not Clive.

The blond guy was not a bad choice. I am sure he was a good actor. But he came across as more emotional than expected. The fact that he seemed a bit smaller than Clive's actor gave them a different dynamic than the one I had come to expect from the book.

I will lay out my ideas here. If this has already been touched upon in some prior essay, I apologise, but the sadly now ephemeral nature of Tumblr's search function makes it hard to locate.

(I also do not wish to turn this into an 'X is better than Y' debate. Both the film and movie are lovely stories, and they both deserve attention from their respective/shared devotees.)

I would love to cite or review the books involved, but unfortunately, they are outside of my reach due to reasons of money & location. I have endeavoured to cite what I am able to, in hopes of one day being able to afford scholarly literature written on the subject.

Introduction to Romantic friendships

In the early-to-mid 19th century, muscular christianity crossed over with ideals of manliness to create ideas about intense friendship between same-sex people being a precursor to romantic love with individuals of the opposite sex.

This friendship was meant to be mutually enriching. After the embers of passion had given way to mutual companionship, the two were to have a strong, but ultimately ‘normal’ friendship, less passionate than that of youth, as that emotion was now to be directed towards women.

These friendships were depicted in didactic children’s novels, as well as bildungsromans / Coming-of-age tales. We can see this in Tom Brown’s Schooldays, where a school matron puts the unruly, boisterous Tom together with meek, religious Arthur who looks younger than his years.

"Oh, Master Brown," went on the little matron, when the rest had gone, "you're to have Gray's study, Mrs. Arnold says. And she wants you to take in this young gentleman. He's a new boy, and thirteen years old, though he don't look it. He's very delicate, and has never been from home before. And I told Mrs. Arnold I thought you'd be kind to him, and see that they don't bully him at first. He's put into your form, and I've given him the bed next to yours in Number 4; so East can't sleep there this half."

Tom was rather put about by this speech. He had got the double study which he coveted, but here were conditions attached which greatly moderated his joy. He looked across the room, and in the far corner of the sofa was aware of a slight, pale boy, with large, blue eyes and light, fair hair, who seemed ready to shrink through the floor. He saw at a glance that the little stranger was just the boy whose first half-year at a public school would be misery to himself if he were left alone, or constant anxiety to any one who meant to see him through his troubles. (Tom Brown, pt 2, c. 1)

It doesn’t take long for the two to get better acquainted, in a way that enriches both of them, according to the dominating ideology of the age. Tom instructs Arthur in how to ‘fit in’ and not get singled out for bullying, while Arthur makes Tom’s fighting instincts kick in to protect Arthur, rather than roughhouse.

"What a queer chum for Tom Brown," was the comment at the fire; and it must be confessed so thought Tom himself, as he lighted his candle, and surveyed the new green-baize curtains and the carpet and sofa with much satisfaction.

"I say, Arthur, what a brick your mother is to make us so cozy. But look here now, you must answer straight up when the fellows speak to you, and don't be afraid. If you're afraid, you'll get bullied. And don't you say you can sing; and don't you ever talk about home, or your mother and sisters."

Poor little Arthur looked ready to cry.

"But please," said he, "mayn't I talk about—about home to you?"

"Oh yes, I like it. But don't talk to boys you don't know, or they'll call you homesick, or mamma's darling, or some such stuff. What a jolly desk! Is that yours? And what stunning binding! Why, your school-books look like novels!"

And Tom was soon deep in Arthur's goods and chattels, all new and good enough for a fifth-form boy, and hardly thought of his friends outside, till the prayer-bell rang. (Tom Brown, pt 2, c. 1)

Seeing Arthur set a good example by praying leads Tom to remember his own religion, which he has forsaken by refusing to pray before bed.

Tom was sitting at the bottom of his bed unlacing his boots, so that his back was toward Arthur, and he didn't see what had happened, and looked up in wonder at the sudden silence. Then two or three boys laughed and sneered, and a big, brutal fellow, who was standing in the middle of the room, picked up a slipper, and shied it at the kneeling boy, calling him a snivelling young shaver. Then Tom saw the whole, and the next moment the boot he had just pulled off flew straight at the head of the bully, who had just time to throw up his arm and catch it on his elbow.

"Confound you, Brown, what's that for?" roared he, stamping with pain.

"Never mind what I mean," said Tom, stepping onto the floor, every drop of blood in his body tingling; "if any fellow wants the other boot, he knows how to get it."

What would have been the result is doubtful, for at this moment the sixth-form boy came in, and not another word could be said. Tom and the rest rushed into bed and finished their unrobing there, and the old verger, as punctual as the clock, had put out the candle in another minute, and toddled on to the next room, shutting their door with his usual "Good-night, gen'l'm'n."

There were many boys in the room by whom that little scene was taken to heart before they slept. But sleep seemed to have deserted the pillow of poor Tom. For some time his excitement, and the flood of memories which chased one another through his brain, kept him from thinking or resolving. His head throbbed, his heart leapt, and he could hardly keep himself from springing out of bed and rushing about the room. Then the thought of his own mother came across him, and the promise he had made at her knee, years ago, never to forget to kneel by his bedside, and give himself up to his Father, before he laid his head on the pillow, from which it might never rise; and he lay down gently and cried as if his heart would break. He was only fourteen years old. (Tom Brown, pt 2, c. 1)

It is also evident in David Copperfield, where David moons after a boy named ‘Steerforth’ who eventually forsakes him. (Notably, asking if the ‘vulnerable’ boy has a sister is done in Tom Brown as well.)

‘Good night, young Copperfield,’ said Steerforth. ‘I’ll take care of you.’ ‘You’re very kind,’ I gratefully returned. ‘I am very much obliged to you.’

‘You haven’t got a sister, have you?’ said Steerforth, yawning.

‘No,’ I answered.

‘That’s a pity,’ said Steerforth. ‘If you had had one, I should think she would have been a pretty, timid, little, bright-eyed sort of girl. I should have liked to know her. Good night, young Copperfield.’

‘Good night, sir,’ I replied.

I thought of him very much after I went to bed, and raised myself, I recollect, to look at him where he lay in the moonlight, with his handsome face turned up, and his head reclining easily on his arm. He was a person of great power in my eyes; that was, of course, the reason of my mind running on him. No veiled future dimly glanced upon him in the moonbeams. There was no shadowy picture of his footsteps, in the garden that I dreamed of walking in all night. (David Copperfield, Chapter 7)

They reunite as adults, the 90’s miniseries has Steerforth kiss David’s head at that point. David still looks up to Steerforth at this point, which eventually leads to Steerforth forsaking him. The point here is that these friendships were not supposed to go on for too long.

And yes, depending on children to raise children in a milieu without adult supervision can definitely go wrong. Even the writers of the age knew it, both Vachell (The Hill) and Hughes (Tom Brown) mention abuse in their novels. Talbot Baines Reed (The Fifth Form at St: Dominic) mentions a clear cut example of grooming. I mention this, because it will be relevant later on.

From the above passages, we can extract the following framework: An ‘inexperienced’, vulnerable boy, is shielded and educated by an ‘experienced’ boy. I can write multiple essays on the topic (And I just might), but at the end of the day, this is what we need in order to move on to part 2.

#Maurice #Maurice 1987 #Boarding School Canon #Edwardian #e. m. forster #Essay #text #1910's #Great Britian #19th century

10 notes · View notes

thatseventiesbitch · 2 years

Text

@einsteinsugly said: Yay! The whole T9S verse, even with my own personal edits, is just so unfathomable to me. Mostly the Jackie and Kelso parts, because Jackie would never go back to him. Not in a healthy state, anyway.

Jackie deserves so much better than the fate T9S has given her, which is the main reason T9S irks me. If the story was pushed to 1998-9, E/D's daughter wasn't named Leia, and Jackie and Kelso weren't a thing (maybe an offscreen J/H ending, with their daughter joining Lucy [not Leia] on her adventures?), I'd be legitimately excited. Alas, the premise is solid, but the details suck.

Anywho, since Eric and Donna's travel bug was cut short in my TWA verse in 1985 because of Kate, I can totally see them dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. Not in 1980-2, though. Because as I said in my reply to your essay on T9S's premise, I honestly see Donna having an abortion in most cases, since she and Eric are so far from being ready, it would be a disservice to their child. To go through the same turmoil she did.

The only times I see her not having one is if Eric (or Jackie, maybe) spilled the beans about her pregnancy before she could nip it in the bud (like in season 6, if she was pregnant), or if she and Eric were separated (for whatever reason). and her aching heart overruled her head (like in Drops of Jupiter). And Eric wouldn't even fathom naming his daughter Leia, because Leia was a sexual fantasy. Not someone he idolized, like Luke, per se.

To me, the unexpected pregnancy would have to realistically occur between 1983-7. After they're done with college, and are young, traveling professionals (they're working in Cape Town, South Africa in my verse), only for it to be unexpectedly cut short. Speaking of which, I have a bunch of chapters of Ebony and Ivory (the main E/D fic in my verse) written, but I only have three chapters posted. All of my stuff is on AO3 at this point (I only posted on FF in the very beginning), and I have a bunch of ficlets, moodboards, and essays within my verse in the Eric and Donna tag. And the Jackie and Hyde tag. And the Red and Kitty tag...

Yeah, I don’t blame anybody for not being interested in That 90′s Show. Different strokes for different folks, and all that. If Eric and Donna were treated the way Jackie and Hyde are being treated, I’d be effing pissed too.

I think circumstances outside the show/characters led to Jackie and Kelso being written as back together, and that’s really dumb, lol. I’m with you - Jackie could have appeared alone without mentioning any romantic partner, so it’s all left up to fans’ imaginations. Or sure, mention that she’s going home to Hyde off-screen. But the writers/producers have shown that they don’t have that kind of creativity, unfortunately. They were unwilling to do it when Topher left in season 8, too.

I have a lot of questions about That 90′s Show and skepticism too, but hey, I haven’t even seen it yet so what do I know? I’m going to reserve judgement until it comes out. Maybe it will suck. Maybe it will be great. Probably somewhere in between. I will take what I like and use it for inspiration, and I’ll ignore the rest, same as always with this show. It has disappointed me before and I’m sure it will again, but that’s why fanfic exists!

I don’t think Donna would get an abortion, but there are a lot of different ways to interpret the characters and of course we’re each entitled to our own. When she thought she was pregnant in the show, abortion wasn’t something that seemed to be on the table. The characters all sort of acted like it was inevitable that if Donna was pregnant, she’d be having the baby. Brooke and Kelso’s unexpected pregnancy was treated the same way. Roe v. Wade happened in 1973 so abortion was certainly legal and available (especially in cities probably, like Madison, Milwaukee or Chicago) but I don’t think it was by any means common. At least, not in Point Place.

I think Donna would be well informed about her options, though, and I think she would think about them seriously if something like this happened. I also think that finishing college would be a deal-breaker for her. And she wouldn’t want to rush into marriage, just because she was being rushed into parenthood. Eric would have to react better than he did last time, too. I think he’s capable of acting more maturely, though, and I also think that fatherhood would be something Eric would take seriously and would be the catalyst for him to finally grow up.

Hmm, I think their kid would be raised with a lot of love and support, not only from Eric and Donna but from Red and Kitty. I bet Leia had a pretty happy childhood (albeit imperfect). One of the things I’m looking forward to about That 90′s Show - other than Eric and Donna’s on-screen reunion! - is seeing Red and Kitty interact with their granddaughter. I have a feeling they helped an awful lot when Leia was small.

#einsteinsugly #that 70s show #that 70's show #that 90s show #that 90's show #eric and donna #eric x donna #eric forman #donna pinciotti #leia forman #red and kitty #red x kitty

11 notes · View notes

halfax-a · 1 year

Text

Lin and tumblr

The past year has changed how i use this website quite a lot, and i have feelings about it. Here, i’m writing a mini essay to help me make my mind up what to do about it all.

The first big painful truth i have to face is: i don’t like my dashboard anymore. I find it increasingly hard to sit and just scroll through and pay attention. I know that a few years ago it used to be better balanced - divided into fandom content, meme content and music content.

This year, more than ever, saw the absolutely bonkers avalanche of fandom content, which cannibalised both music and meme side of things. I experienced genuine mass hysteria with the flood of people, and i don’t regret that or hate that, but all of it ended up feeling more like witnessing a group of friends having an absolutely insane party - through the front window of their hourse, having your nose pressed to the glass.

Why it felt so much like that, can be anointed to how i chose to interact with tumblr - 2022 was the year i fully turned to blog-crawling. It ended up impacting me a lot - in ways you can see (7 fandom posts in a row reblogged from one blog), and in ways you can’t (all those hours reading and internalising and the r word). Waking up every day, obsessively searching up 5 to 12 different blogs and spending up to 3 hours just reading updates (combined with my brief stint on twitter in the summer) fucked me up quite well, i think.

Well. Actually. This is not new behaviour for me. Obsessive checking of tumblr blogs, forum threads and twitter accounts dates back well into 2016. But this is the first time it has fucked with my enjoyment of this site, and i am at a loss what to do.

I feel trapped. My brain does not think it can go without tumblr, because twitter, instagram, even the mighty youtube have surrendered to this blue hellsite, and let it reign the supreme doom scroll hole of my life.

At the same time, i recognise that i am not really truly having a good time on here(or at least as much as i used to). The more time i spend on specific blogs, the less i am on my dash, which means the less opportunities i have to make connections with my remaining mutuals, and to make new ones.

I feel trapped and i feel isolated. A few years ago i used to know at least 5 blogs that were guaranteed to appear in my notes at any given time. There were more tag games, more casual @/ing and more interaction. Nowadays i feel quite alone. Yes, i did bring this onto myself with 1. aforementioned blog crawling and 2. jumping into excessive fandom posting. I’m just afraid that getting out of there is not as easy as it used to be.

I’ve seen a lot of people move on, or drift out of my circles over the years, which makes reconnecting with old acquintances/old topics of interest difficult or downright impossible. And as i get on in age (in my old age of 22), i get increasingly nervous seeing 16,15, 14-year-old on here, and interacting with their blogs.

I am also a bit at a loss for how to curate my dash to regain that optimal meme/fandom/music equilibrium. Meme culture has changed a dizzying amount since 2018, and i know i have been left behind. With music and fandom cannibalising and engulfing each other (in that shiver-inducing mass of conciousness known as “mcr fandom”), i am left to try and find some “general” content. But from where??????

All of these things combined has made me feel like i might have to ditch tumblr soon. Either i put in massive amounts of energy, overhaul my dash and find out what i enjoy (while being concious of how to keep the parts of fandom that are truly enriching for me, when the mass hysteria inevitably starts again), or i log off, block, and try to keep my doomscrolling urges fed on fanfiction and youtube shorts.

With my unfortunate mental state, i sure know which seems easier

Now. Why am i still here at this very moment then?

It’s because of drafts!

See, in my mind, it is possible to Finish Tumblr. During my years here, i have amassed a significant amount of drafts - gifsets, link masterlists, audio, video and photos, and each of them serves a purpose - to remind me to Consume that thing. The day i listen to the final album, final song, the day i watch the final tv show, movie, the day i let that final draft go; that’s when i can say i have Completed Tumblr, and can log off with a light heart.

So, i haven’t acknowledged it, but i actually have a concrete goal in mind here, and as long as i work on that, i’ll be shackled to this blue hellsite

#me and my obsession with finishing things up.....#obsessively going through my watch later playilist on youtube. going through my read later on ao3. going through my bookmarks on chrome.#using up my makeup. etc etc etc #i'm a bit fucked there #i think it's because i feel i have no control over other aspects of my life #so i tidy and rule with iron fist over these little digital lists that ultimately don't matter at all #ohey i ran out of steam in writing problems and solutions #i don't think i'll actually leave tumblr. not for a while #i just am a little unhappy about my experience right now #anyways i think my fingers are settled now #they have created #A LOT #today #good god #kudos to you if you actually read all that #it's bedtime #bye bye

2 notes · View notes

stonewallsposts · 8 months

Text

August Reading

Far from the Madding Crowd- Thomas Hardy (1874)

I know, you want to say "maddening" rather than "madding", but that's not the title. Madding means frenzied. The story's protagonist is Bathsheba Everdene (the inspiration, as I understand it, for the Hunger Games' Katniss Everdene's name). She starts the story as poor girl. She meets a shepherd/farmer who falls in love with her and proposes. She refuses him. Later she inherits her uncle's farm, fires a corrupt manager, and takes over managing the farm for herself. In the meantime, the shepherd farmer has lost his farm due to an unfortunate incident, and she hires him to watch her flocks.

She is also courted by a neighboring farmer, who she refuses as well. But she does fall for a charming soldier. The soldier is untrustworthy though and after they are married, loses her money to gambling. He ends up faking his death, then leaving for a few years. In the meantime, she continues to interact with the shepherd, and is pursued relentlessly by the neighbor farmer.

At some point, the soldier is found alive, and presents himself to claim Bathsheba. The farmer, angered at the return of the husband, and the loss of his own prospects, shoots the husband, then turns himself in to the police for murder. At the end, Bathsheba realizes the shepherd has been her constant companion and they are quietly married.

Jane Eyre- Charlotte Brontë (1847)

This is my third read through Jane Eyre, a novel well worth reading multiple times. My focus this time was on each of the places she lived as eras, and what her struggle was in those epochs.

They are, in the most general sense:

Gateshead Hall- learning to stand against injustice

Lowood school- learning that standing against injustice doesn't mean returning evil for evil

Thornfield- standing against the personal temptation to compromise

Moor House- standing against manipulations, particularly of a good cause

I also read letters from Charlotte Bronte and her sisters for context, and 5 of the essays written about the novel at the back of the Norton Critical edition. This constituted another 150 pages of reading alongside the novel

La solitudine dei numeri primi- Paolo Giordano (2008)

Prime numbers are numbers only divisible by themselves and 1. there are also 'twin primes', numbers that are close, such as 17 and 19, but never touching. The story is about Mattia and Alice, two young people who lived through life-altering tragedies as children. Mattia had a twin sister who was retarded. One day, they were invited to a party, and Mattia, certain that his sister would ruin the experience, left her alone in a park. When he returned, she was gone, and never found again.

Alice was given skiing lessons that she hated, and in one day, she got separated from the group and went over a cliff where she permanently damaged her leg. These two go to the same school, and end up crossing paths. They both sense that they are supposed to be together, but Mattia in particular can never seem to overcome his character and let himself free. Even as adults they reconnect and understand they should be together, but can't get over their personality quirks. Like the twin prime numbers, they are close... but never touching.

The Early History of Rome- Livy (27-9 BC)

This massive History of Rome, or in Latin, Ab Urbe Condita, From the Founding of the City, originally comprised 142 'books'. We have 35 left. This Penguin Classics version contains the first 5, which cover the founding of Rome to the conquest of the Gauls in 390 BC.

Book 1 covers the monarchical period up to about the beginning of the Republic in 509 BC.

Book 2 covers the early republic from 509 – 469 BC

Book 3 is titled the Patricians at Bay, covering from 468 – 446 BC

Book 4 is titled War and Politics and covers from 445 – 404 BC

Book 5 is titled the Capture of Rome and covers from 403- 390 BC

Rome and Italy- Livy (27-9 BC)

This collection from Livy's books comprises books 6-10 and covers from 389 BC to 292 BC, as Rome moves from one of the city states of Italy to the premier power in the peninsula.

Darkness at Noon- Arthur Koestler (1940)

The story follows Rubashov, a communist party apparatchik, who is arrested and then killed for treason against the revolution. As Rubashov is first arrested, then undergoes a series of interrogations, he wrestles with the consequences of the part he played in the revolution, and how the ideology developed from what they had initially hoped to bring about, to the current state of affairs.

This is really a fascinating dive into the psychology of what happens when the lofty goals of socialism are put into action, and how the movement necessarily turns so brutal.

Arthur Koestler was a Hungarian Jew, who joined the German communist party, but quit in 1938 after seeing the direction Stalin had taken the Soviet Union.

Under Milk Wood- Dylan Thomas (1954)

This is actually written as a radio drama / play. It was adapted to film in the 1971 version starring Richard Burton, which helped to sort through some of the nonsense... but I have to admit I didn't really enjoy this. It covers a day in the life of a fictional Welsh town. 'Nuff said.

0 notes

dead-loch · 8 months

Text

I’ve just had my first decent night of sleep in 2 weeks and for some reason I have woken wanting to cuddle anyone here or anywhere who is considered uneducated (and note I said uneducated NOT willingly ignorant).

I used to hide this from everyone except those who already knew but I never graduated high school. I didn’t drop out, actually, although at this point, for my own mental health, dropping out may have been the better choice.

I grew up with a mother who forced me to attend an extremely strict & conservative catholic school, no matter how much I begged her to let me attend the arts school in our city. (My mom would later wish she had let me change schools.)

Being queer and trans in the early aughts was hell. It’s honestly astonishing to see how much things have changed (and in some cases, in some ways, gotten worse but in others, gotten much better). I don’t think I had a single happy day in that school. Unfortunately the teachers and staff were abusive. It was never the other students (which is usually the problem in high school) but the adults who truly didn’t give a shit. But anyway. In my last year, I was depressed and literally unable to get out of bed for months. I failed one class (history) by 5 points. And thus, no high school diploma. I’m honestly amazed I was even able to attend exams.

What really kills me is that I remember that I loved learning before high school (and actually problems began for me in elementary but those were personal). I loved writing. I loved reading. I used to search universities for the one I wanted to attend and as a child I’d picked Oxford because it sounded fancy and it was far away.

Unfortunately, these hopes and dreams were literally and figuratively beat out of me.

What I’m trying to say here is that there’s a difference between lacking (formal) education and being willingly ignorant (that word is important, because it indicates a choice being made). Lacking formal education can make things incredibly difficult, and as a now 32 yr old, I can see the many ways that not having attended university especially can be detrimental. People learn to craft arguments and defend their points of view in structured ways that you probably won’t learn just being out in the world. I think that’s really valuable because often I can only describe my feelings (thankfully I value feeling and emotion but people often look down on that too).

With no high school diploma (and employers having no context), I’ve had to fight for a lot of what I’ve accomplished. While fighting tooth and nail every day working jobs I hated that didn’t even pay me enough to live, I began volunteering at an art gallery. From there, I was offered a paid position. From there, I began a career in arts administration that spans almost a decade and would culminate in communications & marketing management. It’s not an exaggeration when I say that every single other person I have ever worked with had at least one degree.

And then in 2021 I decided to try for something more. I left a full time salaried position which had given me financial stability for the first time in my life and pursued what was in my heart & soul, which was being an artist. I was accepted into a very small program (in fact the only program of its kind in Canada) and suddenly I was back at school, with all of that trauma I hadn’t fully processed.

It was hard. The last time I’d written any kind of essay was in high school, and to be honest I couldn’t remember anything about that time or anything I might have learned. I felt like an idiot in theory classes because the writings were heavily academic and not accessible (this is a whole issue and not just for me).

And guess what.. attending an arts program didn’t fix all of my problems. I missed out on a lot of what people learn throughout their 20s if they get a post-secondary education. I also still have a lot of rough parts when it comes to educators, because I still struggle trusting them, even though the ones I met at this school were amazing and supportive and a complete departure from the ones I had in high school. It really sucks that so much of who we are is shaped during a time where we have little to no control over our environments. But them’s the breaks.

I think what I’m trying to say here (and I honestly have no idea why I’ve just decided to be all introspective this morning— I literally woke up 34 minutes ago) is that high school does not need to define your life. That’s not to say that not receiving a formal education won’t make things difficult. I’m not advocating for one or the other, because there are a lot of reasons someone won’t do well in school. But next time you meet someone who didn’t graduate high school, I hope your immediate reaction won’t be to think that they’re stupid or ignorant. Some of us have just been through it. Others need different environments than the ones we currently have to be able to learn. Still others may have had to make a difficult choice. And even with a high school education, attending university is often something you need access to resources for, and some of us don’t have those resources or don’t want to spend time fighting to get them.

I will say that from the outside, the one really good thing about attending university seems to be that you learn to express yourself and your ideas in very clear ways. Also reading comprehension. I have a lot of trouble expressing myself and I’ll often just give up because the thoughts come out really jumbled and not fully what I was intending. I think that’s invaluable and i think they’re starting to do that in high school too (based on the current people I know who are still there or graduated recently) which is great.

But really the whole point of this is that it hurts me so much when people who don’t have a formal education think they’re stupid because of it and I just want to say, clearly, that you are not. I also want to say that a lot of university grads will (knowingly or not) use their education as a tool to make others— the seemingly uneducated— feel inferior. Instead of speaking in language that is accessible, they will use heavily academic language to make you feel like you have no idea what you’re saying and therefore nothing you say has any weight (instead of using it to, you know, help others understand something). Fuck these people. That’s all I have to say about that.

#education #formal education #learning #high school

1 note · View note

ad-elie · 1 year

Text

Meet the Linguist

as told by Marguerite Adélie Chrysanthe.

Summary: In which Sato Akari gets in touch with her other side, wanting to figure out what Aunt Olga writes about.

2014,

Tokyo, Japan.

The beginning of

PHASE 3,

Akari is growing curious.

Ep. 8

Warning tags: dysfunctional family, toxic dynamics, abuse

Note:

Kinoshita Jun makes an appearance.

Sunada Mamoru is Jun’s roommate 1.

Yamashiro Shigeo is Jun’s roommate 2.

Adélie is still a university student.

There are many things she learnt about; art in form of music and dance. Among those things include foreign languages.

Unfortunately, outside of the Korean — Japanese — Mandarin languages which hold similar roots, she barely does anything else.

English is a given, in an international school. Her family makes sure of that. She also somehow feels easier about expressing her feelings in English.

Perhaps it is the lack of emotional ties to the language, but she just gets more comfort from the international language.

So when a handwritten journal belonging to Aunt Olga comes into her possession, she is filled with a new purpose in life.

Months before, she takes a few trips back and forth to visit Aunt Olga, who grows older and is even the one telling her to come for a last meeting.

One last time, as she says. Adélie sits by the elderly’s side and they discuss a lot of things, mainly Sato Olga encouraging her to have a good life.

“I only want you to be happy,” she had said, her smile seems to be harder to appear than usual, though the mischief in it is the same.

Brushing her thumb on Olga’s wrinkled hand, she sighs. It gets harder to hide her sadness, despite knowing her aunt had lived a good life.

Before it is time to leave, Adélie leans down to give Olga a kiss on the forehead, a silent goodbye in her despair.

“おばさん、大好きだよ.”

¹I love you, auntie.

It is a solemn ceremony, one where everyone bows her head and wipes their tear away with a handkerchief.

After all, Olga has lived long. It is not unexpected. Some even recall how the smart woman knows her time has come.

Wondering whether she should wait until the period of mourning to start the process or if it means respecting her aunt’s wishes, she eventually decides it is time.

Adélie needs to find a translator, one that wouldn’t care enough about her other alias: Sato Akari. A whole other life she lives.

While she might need to come up with a plan, for now, the lass has a class to attend. Off she goes.

The class theory is particularly easy, in terms of her getting to just sit and take notes instead of actively participating with improvisation.

“こんにちはみなさん!”

Getting through some theories and anatomical movements, such as footwork, Adélie bites on the top of her pen.

Sakura is seated by her side, where they usually spend time other than during practice. As the star pupil, Nakada is predicted to be the one who debuts from their class.

Going through a rambling lesson of communicative and artistic aspects of dance, their teacher sends them off with an essay to complete.

Making notes of what she needs to get done by next week, adding the assignment into her list, Adélie then packs up her things.

“See you at practice,” waving at her peer, who returns it with a brilliant smile that melts any jury’s heart.

Yamato sensei calls for her just before Adélie manages to escape with a flurry of other students.

“Would you be a dear and lend your notes?” She gestures towards one of the students left, who sits there, unamused.

Proceeding to explain about his recent disappearance beforehand, to which Adélie nods.

“It’s Kinoshita Jun,” the tall, quiet ‘Fujikawa’ says. “Somehow she always remembers me as Fujikawa.”

Offering a small chuckle and her note, she falls into steps by his side. Aware of fairly smaller stature, it is even made more clear with his height.

“Adélie,” she responds, then checks her watch. “You can return that on the next class. I have to go. Study group.”

He rises a hand, waving at her after slipping her notebook inside his binder. Without any other explanation, she vanishes by the corner.

“Seems like fate is pulling you back to me,” Jun’s tone is clear of seriousness. His keenness on teasing her is immense.

Adélie rolls her eyes, a faint smile fills her face. The other students nearby crane their neck in interest. “I doubt that. Yamato sensei does.”

This morning, at the next class, their beloved teacher announce a new group work, which would be in place until the semester ends.

Somehow, she gets her way of putting Adélie together with Jun. The lass wonder if their teacher spent the last week coming up with it.

“Alright,” she takes a moment to assess the upcoming lesson. “We should have more than enough time to get this done.”

Coming up with a plan, since a busy schedule is in place for both of them, she agrees on meeting tomorrow after class.

“I have practice until 5,” she had said, to which he responds about his own practice until 7. “How about 8?”

“Sounds good to me.”

By the time she heads out of practice, sweating and pulling her ponytail tighter, Adélie is glad to take a much needed shower.

“Hey,” Suzu greets Adélie, toweling her damp hair as the other girls chat about the routine.

Closing her locker, she smiles back. “Hi. Sensei seriously was in a mood.”

𝘈 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘥 refers to repeating each routine at least five times, all from the beginning with every wrong move from one student.

Suzu holds both of her hands up, tremors rippling through her limbs. “I know! My hands are still shaking.”

Inspecting her peer’s trembling fingers and offers a sympathetic smile. “Oh, my. I usually try to massage them for a bit.”

“I’ll give it a try later tonight, thanks,” Suzu opens her locker, changing into her hoodie and sweatpants.

“Heard about Yamato sensei’s assignment. Who did you get partnered with?”

“Jun,” she responds, tying her shoes and double-checking both ribbons are tight enough.

Suzu slams her locker shut, having just finished braiding her hair back. “Oh, the new guy. He’s from Europe, I heard.”

“I got Sakura,” the mentioned partner arrives, grinning as she hears her name. Adélie smiles at her fellow dancer.

“Talking about Yamato sensei? Heard she’s a bit strict, but grades fairly,” Sakura dries her hair, musing out loud.

Suzu’s dark eyes glint with sheer excitement. The wickedness means she is up to no good.

“Who told you that? Loverboy?“ Giggles erupt. It is no secret that Sakura happily flaunts her relationship with a senior.

When everyone filters out of the room, Adélie is among them. Suzu and Sakura announce they would work on the assignment and parts way.

A few hours later, she finds herself standing in front of Jun’s house. He lives off-campus with some roommates, which she finds out when a gorgeous modelesque figure opens the door.

“Hey,” he stares at her for a moment.

Adélie offers a small wave, pushing her awkwardness aside. “I’m here for Jun.”

“Kinoshita!” Seconds later, thankfully, Jun himself appears. His hair is dripping wet, clearly fresh from the shower.

Holding a towel against his hair, he regards her with an even stare. His glance finds the clock. “You’re early.”

“I’m right on time,” about ten minutes before their promised time, which to her, is in the nick of time.

Another Adonis figure splays on the couch, watching a game on the television. Goodness. She wonders if Jun’s friends are all that attractive.

Sunada Mamoru, the one who opens the door and Yamashiro Shigeo, the one lounging on the couch, as they introduced themselves.

“Hey, head on up. I’ll catch up,” by the third session, she is comfortable enough to waltz into his bedroom.

On the shelves by his desk, she sees the stack of books, written in Russian. While she might be unable to decipher it, Adélie stares at the novels.

Jun’s voice startle her. A part of her is glad she didn’t touch anything. That would’ve pulled her awkward side out. “Those are my grandparents’.”

Turning around, she hopes she didn’t jump in surprise. “Oh. Sorry.”

“No worries.”

For his credit, he doesn’t seem at all bothered. Simply plops down on the bed and starts skimming through the textbook.

“Just ask your question, Chrysanthe.”

Looking up from her book, a frown etch on her lips. “What? I didn’t say anything.”

“You have that serious thinking face on,” he remarks, his lips quirk in a charming smile. She gets why those girls talk about him.

For a moment, Adélie let the silence hang in between them. Jun doesn’t let on as well. She sighs, relenting.

“Do you speak Russian?”

Jun sets his book aside, regarding her with his full attention. Her brow raises slightly.

“Yes,” he nods slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Why do you ask?”

Adélie bites her lower lip for a moment. She eventually decides.

“Alright,” she toys with the leather end of her notebook. “Have you ever considered being a translator?”

His dark eyes glimmer in amusement. “No, that’s not a part of my dream job.”

Deciding she needs to stop beating around the bush, Adélie heaves a breath, tension rolling off her shoulders.

It’s now or never. The worst he could say is no. Well, maybe he’d taunt her and poke fun at her, but she can take that.

“Would you mind helping me with some translation?”

Jun regards her with an almost amused look, though her assessment could be way off and he is just enjoying this. Who knows.

“What’s in it for me?”

Giving him a look, gauging whether he is serious, Adélie goes through her mind. What could she offer him?

“I’m joking,” he explains, then something in his eyes shift, a moment of seriousness. “What do you need translated?”

“It’s a journal,” she starts, licking her lips. It suddenly feels dry. Adélie is rusty when it comes to talking about her family.

Jun taps a finger against the closed book, his gaze somber. “Mind if I ask why you need it translated?”

“My aunt left it for me when she passed,” Adélie decides to let him know that piece. He nods, mum.

Thankfully, he didn’t push. The lass was close enough to crawl back into her shell and seal it from any other proding.

“Just bring the journal the next time we meet, so I can get started on it,” was Jun’s parting words two hours later.

Their assignment for the day is finished and she is dying to head back for a quick routine before heading back home to Evelyn.

⠀⠀⠀

つづく。

0 notes

imjusttpeachy · 4 years

Text

bumpy roads & broken promises. (c.h.)

EDIT: Lmaoooo I did not expect this to actually get notes, thanks guys! I already made it onto someone’s fic recs-- I feel special. Actually might end up writing more if this gets more attention. :^)

I wrote this as a vent/comfort fic for myself but figured others might like it. Corpse has been my new safety youtuber ever since the old nosleep reader--deep voice/no face gamer went to shit so... yeah.

Heavily inspired by @mmonamona ‘s fic “Petty Fights and Lonely Nights” just more angst.

playlist

feng suave - sink into the floor

current joys - a different age

feng suave - venus flytrap

rei ami - do it right

summary: Corpse gets frustrated with work and snaps at the reader when she tries to ask what’s wrong, triggering a bad memory from a past relationship.

word count: 2, 932

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, shouting, panic attacks, reference to past relationship trauma (no retelling, nothing detailed)

(angst, hurt/comfort, crying! lots of it)

>>>

“God would you just fuck off already?!”

Frozen. Your body tensed up as the deep growl echoed through the cramped dark room.

You had been staying at your boyfriend’s apartment for about a week while you were on break from college. Flying out from the UK to California so you could spend as much time as you could with him before ultimately having to return to 5am facetimes while drowning in papers and essays.

Even before you’d booked the tickets, Corpse was already apologizing for everything under the sun. The size of his apartment and its cleanliness, the fact that he couldn’t do much more than order take out for you, his irregular sleeping patterns.. the list could go on and on. And while you assured him every time that you didn’t care, that you were coming to see him— not his apartment, not home cooked meals, and definitely not to scrutinize him for things he couldn’t control due to his mental health. But he wouldn’t buy it.

Not one bit.

He’d offer you a weary half-smile, pulling you into his chest or ruffling your hair before placing a soft kiss on your temple and changing the subject. You didn’t press any further knowing how often he was at war with his own mind and couldn’t help but think the worse of every situation.

As the days carried on, you’d spent most of your time tangled up in each other. Whether it be a movie, or playing some co-op games, or even just laying in his bed with him, you could barely stand to spend any time apart. But, of course, you were adults with responsibilities that would tear you from one another eventually. While you did miss his presence every second he wasn’t around, you couldn’t help but try to make his life even better for when he got back and for when you’d eventually have to leave him once again. Now, a week into your stay, his apartment was a good amount tidier than how it’d been when you arrived. The cupboards and fridge were stocked with groceries that would hopefully last for some time after you left, on top of the home made meals you’d make together or for him everyday. New picture frames were hung up on the wall of the two of you that you’d gifted to him when you arrived; it actually started to feel like home. Well, as much as it could without those familiar strong arms wrapped around you every second of the day.

Unfortunately, this evening was one of those times. Corpse had already been locked up in his office for a few hours now, the sounds of button mashing and frustrated exclamations making its way through the thin walls every so often bringing an amused smile to your face. He’d woken up a bit anxious already knowing he’d have to both leave you alone and put up a brave front for the stream that was planned that evening. You didn’t push him or try to talk about it, knowing that it would just make it worse; so you two had spent the day as it normally would (though he always looked and felt on edge) until he was forced to retreat back into that dreaded workspace.

You occupied yourself on your phone and laptop for a while, checking up on friends, reviewing anything you’d need for the upcoming semester, just scrolling through your socials— y’know, the works. But by the time you’d gotten bored with your scrolling, you’d notice it was a perfect time to start dinner that you’d hopefully be able to eat together with Corpse. You’d gotten to work right away, doing your best to be as quiet as you could to not disturb his work as the different aromas began to spread through the small kitchen in his apartment. Finishing up the dishes after the meal was all cooked, you dished up two servings and set them on the coffee table in front of the couch before you went to retrieve your other half.

Turning the knob of his office door slowly, you peered into the dark room; only the silhouette of the floppy mop of hair you adored so much was able to be seen in the dim light of his computer monitors. Taking a hard look at his right-most monitor you notice an editing software pulled up instead of the usual live chat he had on while streaming, so without any worry of interrupting you opened the door and stepped into the room. It was a cozy room for sure, and it always seemed to smell just like him— which of course is a given but with how much time he spent in this room, it was even more so present. Walking up slowly to his right side so you wouldn’t startle him with just your voice you watched his gaze flick to your form before steadying itself back in the monitor. Furrowing your brows at his strange behaviour but not letting it get to you, you opened your mouth to speak.

“I made dinner!” You smiled down at him, taking a few steps back toward the door so he would be able to get out of his gaming chair without you in his space. However, the hunched form of your focused boyfriend didn’t move an inch. Your heart sunk a little at his attitude but decided to just try again.

“Corpse, baby, dinners ready.”

“I’m not hungry.” The short statement left his mouth in a low grumble, if you hadn’t spent all this time with him studying his voice and begging him to speak more to you, you probably wouldn’t have been able make it out at all. You huffed out a sigh, this was new for him, you really hadn’t seen him as anything other than the cuddly baby you’d grown to know and love. But, you thought to yourself, love would come with days like this and it was bound to happen eventually. Trying your best to not get frustrated or angry with his snappy attitude, you kept your voice light and cheery as you tried again to coax him out to eat.

“Corpse you’ve barely eaten today I-“

“I said I’m not hungry.” Startling at the angry tone you’d never heard from him before, you could feel yourself start to get choked up. Pulling your hands up to hug your arms, trying to sooth yourself, you could feel yourself starting to slowly freeze up. Goosebumps ran over your skin, a chill snaking it’s way up your spine as you gulped, trying your best to muster up the bravery to speak again. You didn’t know what had gotten into him, he knew how the tone affected you— he was usually even the one to comfort you after an episode triggering something like this. As your mouth began to run dry, you took a deep breath deciding that he would definitely come to his senses in the next moments, you opened your mouth to speak again.

“Is everything alri-“

“I’m FINE! I’m not a FUCKING CHILD I don’t need you constantly checking up on me! God would you just fuck off already!”

You didn’t even notice the tears dripping off your cheeks until they splashed against the bare skin of your hand. Slipping into the defense mode you knew so well, your body switched onto autopilot as you began to backpedal out of the room, almost tripping a few times as you sputtered out a choked “okay, I’m sorry,” before closing his door once again and stumbling messily down the hallway to his room. Your mind was moving a thousand miles a minute yet was completely blank at the same time, and before you knew it you were tucked away inside the dark closet in his room.

This was the routine, this is where you’d be safe.

Trying to slow your erratic breathing you hugged your knees even closer to your chest, praying that in some way it would ease your shaking body. But inevitably, you felt the sobs that you’d kept trapped in your throat since you’d left break through. Your chest heaved with the breaths you took to keep your sobs as silent as possible. You thought you had trained yourself well enough for this, you’d done this a million times before— but in the back of your mind you knew that this time it was different. Shrinking into the corner of the closet, the only thing on your mind was all the broken promises he’d sworn to keep.

>>>

Corpse sighed, his body weighing him down in his chair heavily, head aching with all the work he’d been doing that evening. Pulling his attention back, he stretched his arms as his sore eyes glanced over at the clock in the corner of his screen. 11:34pm. Fuck. That much time had passed already? Raking a hand through his hair he yawned sleepily, he knew he should probably spend more time working before calling it a night but all he wanted to do was curl up in bed with you-

Shit.

Finally snapping out of the heavy trance he’d set himself in every time he sat down to edit, he thought back to the last time he had seen you— calling him for dinner where he snapped at you to leave him alone… almost 3 hours ago. The memories of the past moment flooded into his head and seconds later he was scrambling out of his chair and out into the hallway. It was dead silent, Corpse felt like his heart was practically breaking his ribs with how hard it was pounding in his chest. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Gripping at the right side of his shirt he rushed into the living room, rubbing frantically at his eyes as they darted around the room quickly looking for any sign of you.

“(Y/N), baby?” He rasped out, voice caught in his throat, walking through the living room and spotting the now cold meals she’d prepared waiting uneaten on the coffee table. His heart sunk as he hurried to the kitchen only to see the rest of the meal out on the counter, not doing anything to ease his mind. He called your name again and again; rushing back into the living room his eyes darted to the front door, a tiny bit of relief pricking his system as he saw the door was still locked and latched, as well as seeing your shoes and jacket by the door. Rushing back into the hallway he peeked into the bathroom, flicking on the light switch and with no sign of you, continued down the hallway to his room.

“(Y/N), please baby.” Flicking on the light his eyes scanned the room not catching a single sight of you-- when he heard it. Slowing his breathing down as much as he could in his panicked state he focused in his hearing on the small heaves of air coming from the closet. Stomach dropping, Corpse collapsed onto his knees, legs giving way from underneath him when he realized where you were and what was happening. Crawling his way toward the closet door he stopped right outside of it, he heard your breath hitch and knew you were holding it out of practiced instinct which made him want to vomit. But it wasn’t about him right now, so with a deep breath he finally managed to whisper out.

>>>

“Princess, I’m gonna open the door okay?”

Finally releasing the breath you had been holding, your lungs heaved for air as light flooded into the dark closet. Peeking an eye out from where it was buried in your knees, you blearily made out your boyfriend’s blurry figure kneeling outside the closet. With your body feeling like it was completely out of your control, sobs once again began to rack your huddled form as you shrunk away from him as far as you could into the corner of the closet.

“I’m gonna come in and sit with you okay, I won’t touch you unless you say I can alright?” You could hear some shuffling before hearing the door creak shut again engulfing the both of you in almost complete darkness, save for the few streams of yellow light coming from the cracks of the door. Corpse stared forward in complete silence, long legs bent uncomfortably and body hunched over in the cramped space of the closet trying to give you as much space as possible but knowing that the first step was sitting with you. The man beside you sighed softly, feeling his heart splinter with every heaving sob that raked over you; he could feel his own tears prick at his eyes and a sob starting to well up in his throat but he held them back. Mustering up the courage and will he finally opened his mouth to speak.

“(Y/N) I am so, so fucking sorry,” his voice pitched just above a whisper because he knew if his voice got any deeper that it would startle you and scare you even more than how you were already feeling right now. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking. It never should’ve hap-“

“Y- You br- broke your promise.” Your reply came in watery, stuttered breaths; the knot in Corpse’s throat came right back up, tears filling his waterline as much as he tried to keep his composure for your sake.

“I know. I know I did.” The man beside you managed to choke out thinking back to the day where he first lost his temper around you. You’d told him everything about your experience with your past relationships and how you were treated, what you used to cope and what he could do to avoid that in any way possible. He promised that day that he would never again raise his voice, or move too fast even when he was angry or frustrated, and made sure to note down anything that would possibly trigger you to completely avoid altogether. And he kept those promises… until today. Tilting his head to glance over at you, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the closet to see you staring straight ahead, tears pouring endlessly down your damp face as your body still shook with soft cries.

“I can’t lose you (Y/N)” Corpse’s voice shook as he tried to figure out the right things to say that would keep you from walking right out that door.

“I’ll do anything. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’ll be better, I swear on my life I’ll be better. Anything you need— it’s yours. I just.. I can’t lose you. Not like this.” He hated how much he sounded like he was pleading when he’s the one who fucked up. The last thing he wanted to do was manipulate you into staying with him which was exactly what your ex did when they made the same mistake time and time again; something he swore he’d never even think of doing. But here he was, and here you were glancing up at him with bloodshot eyes, hair sticking to your tear slicked face and body shaking so much you’d think it was below freezing in there.

Tearing your gaze away from his, you heaved a watery, shaky sigh trying your best to get your thoughts in order. While you had your issues, you knew he had his as well; and with as much patience and understanding he gives you with your snappy, frustrated, sad days, you needed to give back that same patience and understanding with his own. You needed to be brave here.

“Baby-“

“C-Can you just hold me? Please?” You sputtered out just above a whisper, and before you could even unwrap your arms from around yourself Corpse was pulling you into his lap; strong arms encasing you as he pushed his face into your hair. That’s when you found out he was shaking just as much as you were, chest rising and falling erratically with contained sobs as he tried to keep his brave demeanour up for you. Tucking your head under his chin he leaned back against the wall as he crushed you to his chest, the droplets hitting the top of your head giving way to the fact that he was crying too. Pulling your arms up from your side, you slowly wrapped them around his shoulder as he pushed his face against the crook of your neck, sobs finally giving way as he cried helplessly into your shoulder; further dampening the already tear-soaked cloth of the hoodie you were wearing.

“I’m sorry,” Corpse sputtered, hooking his chin over your shoulder so he could keep up with the heaving of his chest, pulling an arm up from around your waist to rest on the back of your head. As much as he wanted to run his hands all over your body and bury his fingers in your hair to feel and memorize every inch of you, he kept them still not wanting to overwhelm you more than this kind of touch already did.

“I love you, I love you so much, I love you..“ he whispered over and over into the darkness of the closet as you both began to breath slower as one. Shushing him softly, you repeated the soft words back to him before wrapping your arms tighter around his shoulders, ensuring him that you were going to be alright.

There would be bumps in the road but Corpse was worth it.

__________________________________

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse imagine

904 notes · View notes

demigoddessnation · 3 years

Text

(excessive) Teresa slander

and everything wrong with it

— an essay by me

1. People lose sight of the real villain in the story. We were really given this power-hungry, violently elitistic organization put in charge of a decaying world and decided to pin the entire blame on a teenage girl. Teresa was a pawn in a game she deliberately wasn't provided full understanding of. A rather biased pawn at that. The actual evil behind all this were the people who had the power of life and death in their hands - those who could exploit a potential cure to their personal gain and advantage. While those people would've been driven by selfishness and lusting after population control, she was motivated by her own moral compass, which was unfortunately very much manipulated from the very beginning.

2. She was (to her death) a kid. She's a fictional character, yes. But slandering a teenager for not being lawfully good is like pushing penguins off a cliff and frowning when they don't avoid the fall by flying. Like any young person, she had a cause she wholeheartedly believed in and supported. She allowed herself and her friends to get hurt in the name of this cause which she believed transcended the pain of the individual and worked for the greater good. It's not easy to agree to this when all you know of the world is pain, loss and death, and though her decisions didn't work out, they were made with the sternness of someone who's lived through too much for their age.

3. There's a suspicious hint of ✨misogyny✨ to it. Interesting, really, how all the hate goes to Teresa whereas she didn't exactly execute all the betrayals and scheming by herself. Aris also had a significant part in all that, but people seem to dismiss his role in that case. Maybe it's the movies that watered it down, but he was in the epicenter of events just like her. Also, if you dig further, you'd see that the rest of the guys are all constantly having their trauma discussed in depth (specifically the Ivy Trio and Gally) while Teresa's past is hardly ever acknowledged. Trauma can't and mustn't be compared between characters and to say that every single one of them was severely (unfairly) traumatized is an understatement, but ignoring traumatic experience for the sake of villainizing someone is profoundly wrong. If you're going to be judgmental, do it fairly and correctly, without picking and choosing whatever appeals to your own personal opinion.

4. "I laughed when she died" shouldn't be a thing. Again, she's a fictional character, yes. But on a mental level our brains can't functionally distinguish between fictional characters and real people (that's why falling for a fictional character can feel as intense as falling for someone in real world). There's still something inherently wrong with laughing at someone's death, just saying.

5. Even if there is intense hate for Teresa, it shouldn't be directed to Kaya Scodelario. There's this fine but important line to draw between a character and the actor who plays them. The case with Kaya and Teresa is one of the most problematic parts of this fandom because the actress can't possibly be held responsible for something her character has done!! This is a role and it in no way means Kaya condones what Teresa's said or done. People get paid to act in movies, not to magically merge with the person they're scripted to play. Also, Kaya is a very kind and educated person. She's not from the Maze Runner or Skins, she's an actual person with actual feelings. Everyone needs to respect this and treat it accordingly.

6. Teresa has been demonized and manipulated for so so long. Even if you don't understand her point of view and motives, it's still heartbreaking to see how badly and harshly life had treated her since she was a child. The very first time she was found as the only survivor in a village of dead bodies, she was thought of as a ghost, an evil omen. She has always been "the only one" - the only one immune, forced to watch her family die; the only girl amid a group of guys with a variety of underlying trauma and issues; the trigger for change. It doesn't help that she used to be separated from the others with Thomas and labeled an elite subject. She was meant to be an outcast and the fact that she never really got to bond with them contributed to her being clay in the hands of WCKD. Even if she was fed a lot of information about the world, the cure and the vileness of the WCKD trials, she would still choose to side with the organization because the promise of finding a remedy prevailed in her mind, as opposed to the mindset of Thomas whose righteousness did get him in some difficult situations but kept him from becoming a radical idealist (which made him more aware of how impractical and painful the process of finding a cure actually was).

7. The story wouldn't have worked without her. Maze Runner is a great analogy for elitism, class division and government problematicness but its most impactful message comes from how the readers get to see the victims of the global catastrophe that is the Flare. We get insight into the Cranks, the violent work of WCKD and the mass panic that quickly spreads worldwide but what truly works out the resonance here is the fact that we see that the group of main characters isn't entirely impenetrable in their righteousness and incorruptibility. We have a bunch of broken people who set off on a journey to find life outside of running and fighting for survival. However, without the chaos factor that's Teresa, the battle against WCKD seems linear which can't possibly be true since the line between good and evil is basically obliterated at this point of global deterioration. She's the turning point where you realize that there are no winners in the war, nor are there good or bad guys, only victims and opportunists.

In conclusion, I hope to see a day when the psyche of characters is better explained and understood instead of bashed the way it is now. There's some really great character building going on in TMR and it's a matter of time we progressed past the need to point fingers left and right when we could take in the bigger picture of the story. The way we react to characters like Teresa actually says a lot about how we would react to her behavior in real life, and sometimes that could be limiting us from figuring out that at the end of the day people like this exist and will continue to exist under the influence of grand promises, corrupt authority and crisis.

#the maze runner #maze runner #tmr minho #tmr newt #tmr thomas #tmr #tmr teresa #tmr gally #small rant

158 notes · View notes

thetrashsean · 3 years

Text

“Why wasn’t Life is Strange 2 as popular as the first game?”

A lot of people like myself have wondered what exactly made Life is Strange 2 go so relatively unnoticed compared its predecessor, Life is Strange 1. And when you think about it, you may come up with the few obvious generic answers, such as the lack of Max and Chloe and just the original cast in general. However, I think there was a lot more at play here that prevented Life is Strange 2 from reaching the amount of success/popularity the first game had. So I want to take the time and break down what exactly happened to Life is Strange 2 and the things that hurt the game’s ability to really connect with the audience of LiS1.

Disclaimer: We do NOT know how well Life is Strange 2 was for Dontnod and if it was a success or not. No sales numbers have been given out to the public so there’s no way of knowing for sure how well the game did. What we do know is that LiS2 did not receive the same amount of attention/popularity as the first game. That can’t be denied, it simply didn’t. However, based on the fact that Dontnod have recently announced they are working on six new games at the moment and are now expanding their studio, even if LiS2 was a “flop” it doesn’t seem to have had much of an effect on them (most likely due to the success of Vampyr). Dontnod is going to be fine either way. Another thing I want to mention is that this is not a anti-LiS2 post and that I am a fan of the game. I’d consider myself a pretty big fan actually. I have my problems with the game of course and don’t agree with a lot of the writing decisions but I enjoyed the game very much overall. But for the sake of this post I will try to be as unbiased as possible, giving out only what I’ve observed when it comes to reactions from the fandom on different websites and forums. So with that all being said, let’s dive in to this.

Here I will be listing the many different reasons as to why Life is Strange 2 failed to reach the same amount of popularity as LiS1 or even BtS managed to achieve. This list isn’t in any particular order but some reasons are bigger/more important than others.

For some background, there was a lot of hype going into Life is Strange 2. The teaser trailer for it with the cop car trended at #2 on YouTube, a huge feat for the series. It generated immense amount of views and comments in a short period in time, completely surpassing Before the Storm’s announcement trailer in just a few weeks. So what exactly happened to all that hype? Where did everybody go? Well, let’s break everything down.

1. The lack of Max and Chloe: Yes I said that this list wouldn’t be in any particular order in terms of importance but I think it’s obvious this one is one of, if not the biggest reason as to why LiS2 failed to match LiS1’s popularity. When the protagonists Sean and Daniel were first revealed, the reception was pretty divisive. Specifically, a very vocal part of the community were baffled and disappointed at the lack of Max and Chloe present within the trailer and subsequently the game itself. This instantly turned off a lot of people from the game, as they couldn’t connect with the new characters or simply didn’t want to. At that point in the franchise Max and Chloe as well as the original cast from the first game had been the face of the series for almost three years. It’s understandable why it was hard for people to just…move on. To this day people are still asking for Max and Chloe to return. The Life is Strange subreddit is still dominated with Max and Chloe fanart. Whenever the social media accounts for Life is Strange post anything Max and Chloe related it gets way more attention compared to a post about Sean and Daniel. Whenever a post online goes viral about Life is Strange you can bet it’s most likely about Max and Chloe. Hell the only reason why episode 5 of Life is Strange 2 trended on Tumblr was because of the fucking picture of Max and Chloe. On the releas day of episode 5 of LiS2 the top post on the subreddit was the Max and Chloe picture. It was almost as if that one photo of them completely overshadowed the entire episode. Point is, Life is Strange 2 lost a lot of momentum the moment it was revealed Max and Chloe would not be present. Case closed, let’s move on.

2. The release schedule: Words cannot describe how frustrating the release schedule was for LiS2 when it came to it’s episodes. For those reading this who didn’t follow LiS2 until the game was finished, each episode took around 3-4 months to be released. This was because Dontnod bit off a bit more than they could chew with the road trip story in having to create new locations and character models from scratch. The reason why this wasn’t a problem for LiS1 was because Max was for the most part always in the same locations around the same characters (I’m pretty sure you roam around Chloe’s house like 4 times throughout the season), which made development a lot easier since the devs could just reuse a lot of the assets. Unfortunately, this wasn’t possible for LiS2 due to the nature of it’s story. The wait times between each episode made a lot of people leave the fandom due to loosing interest or simply forgetting about the game altogether. This also impacted youtubers/streamers as many of them either stopped coming back to play the new episodes or they’d not be as connected as they were in the previous episode due to the amount of time that had passed. One of the reasons why LiS1 gained so much popularity was because of youtubers/streamers and how they would bring in their audience and would pretty much make them fans of the series. With quite a handful of youtubers/streamers quitting LiS2, the game was not able to draw in as much of an audience as previous games did. This is how detreminetal the release schedule was for LiS2.

3. The marketing (or lack thereof): Square Enix really fucked up on this aspect. Due to the ridiculous wait times you would think Square Enix would try and advertise the game heavily when a new episode was about to be released, right? Well they didn’t. Not at all actually. Throughout the games release schedule from September 2018 up to December 2019, I had not seen a single ad for the game. Nothing on YouTube, nothing on reddit or any other websites, it was like Square Enix had completely forgotten about the game’s existence. Now don’t get me wrong, SE did do a few things with LiS2 like starting up the community series on their YouTube channel and also the dev updates that came after episode 1 (that stopped after episode 2 for some reason) but these went relatively unnoticed to people outside of the fandom and did pretty much nothing. I believe SE was trying to wait until the game was fully complete with all of it’s episodes released before actually marketing the game (and they DID start advertising the game after episode 5 came out) but that’s just WAAAY too long to go without any type of advertisement. I understand marketing teams have budgets and what not, but you’re telling me there was no way for SE to market each episode in anyway as they were about to be released? Seems a bit ridiculous, don’t you think?

4. The road trip story: I completely understand why Dontnod wanted to branch out and do something different with the story of Life is Strange 2 and I respect them for stepping out of their comfort zones. However, it can’t be denied that the road trip story where characters are cycled in and out as Sean and Daniel make their way to Mexico was a very…questionable decision. Seeing as how LiS1 was loved for it’s world filled with a reoccurring cast of characters that developed as the story went on, it’s really easy to understand why LiS2 was so off-putting for a lot of fans. It was off-putting for me, even. It just…wasn’t fun having to leave these truly interesting characters behind because the plot demanded it. This left a lot of characters feeling underdeveloped to many people and by the time you meet new characters you already know they’re most likely gonna be gone soon anyways, so it made it even harder to connect with them. Couple this with the fact that LiS2 lacked any type of mystery unlike LiS1, speculation and discussion fizzled out a few weeks after each episode was released. LiS1 kept people speculating and wondering about what would happen next, while LiS2 left a lot of people struggling to care.

5. Politics: Yeeeeaaaaah I think I had to put this somewhere on the list. While many of the people who tease and mock how LiS2 handled its political topics were most likely not fans of the series anyway (the type of people who called LiS1 “Life is Tumblr” and hate Chloe), I do think it’s important to realize that some people just don’t want politics in their games, period. I’ve seen people online come out and say that while they agreed with what the writers were saying when it came to the political topics, it overall still came off very forced and one-sided to them, lacking any type of nuance or subtlety. I could write an entire essay discussing if the politics in LiS2 were handled well and whatnot but this is not that post so I’ll just leave it at that.

6: Lack of a prominent female cast/wlw: This is a bit more tricky to talk about (for the record the person writing this is a black gay guy) but I will try and write about this the best way I can. For many women, specifically queer women, Life is Strange was a series they could expect representation from. Max, Chloe, Rachel, and Steph are all popular characters amongst the fandom and even other wlw ships such as Marshfield, Chasefield, Chaseprice, etc are popular. So when LiS2 was revealed to be about two (hispanic) males, the queer women within the community were understandably upset. It felt like DN were simply throwing away the community that for the most part made up the entire fandom. At the time I simply found the situation ridiculous and overblown as many people were dismissing Sean and Daniel as “generic straight males” (even though it turned out Sean was bisexual in the end) before really getting to know them. However, looking back I totally get why people were upset. A lot of the fanart/fanfiction that was made for the LiS series was mostly created by queer women, so when the franchise pretty much stopped giving them representation, they left in search of other media (like She-Ra, which honestly has better wlw rep anyway). LiS2 is also mostly male dominated in terms of its cast, and features no queer women as well, which is really disappointing in my opinion.

7. Price: This one is pretty simple. When Life is Strange 2 was first released the full season costed $40. This was a pretty big jump in comparison to LiS1’s $20 price tag (original price was $25 however) and BtS’s $16. Obviously people would be more skeptical about buying a sequel that is pretty much double the price of its predecessor and has completely new characters. With the pretty mixed reception from gaming communities I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people saw the price and decided to either watch a playthrough or simply not check out the game at all. With the first episode now free the base price has been lowered to around $30-32 I believe so yeah.

8. Daniel Diaz: Some people just don’t like kids, and I wouldn’t be surprised if people grew easily frustrated with Daniel early on and once he got more irrational and bratty as the story progressed they just stopped playing altogether. Even if you do like kids, or at least don’t mind them like myself, Daniel can still be quite a pain.

9. Not having control of the powers: This one is honestly really disappointing and I know it was to a lot of other people as well. In LiS1 Max had the ability to rewind time and do certain scenarios and conversations over and that basically acted as the more interesting gameplay segments. In LiS2 Sean doesn’t have the power, his brother Daniel does. This leads to the gameplay feeling much more boring and mundane. There are also no interesting puzzles this time around, most likely because Dontnod didn’t know how to implement them without the rewind power so they just…didn’t even attempt to add any. The power itself, telekinesis, is also much less interesting compared to rewinding time, according to a lot of people.

SO YEAH that’s basically it for me. I know this probably came off a bit rambly/incoherent but I tried my best to be as clear as I possibly could. I don’t doubt there are other reasons at play as to why LiS2 failed to meet LiS1’s success (such as liscensed music not being quite as good as LiS1) but I think I hit the main points I believe were key reasons. And the thing is, there isn’t just one main reason why LiS2 didn’t do as well as LiS1. It’s overall very unfortunate so many things went wrong with it that ended up making people lose interest in it. I think the lack of Max and Chloe hurt the game the most right off the bat, but the other reasons just led it to do even worse. Oh well.

I hope any of the people who read this enjoyed it (it was a BITCH to write). I’ve been wanting to get my thoughts down about this for SO long but just never had the motivation/time but I finally did it!

Again, thanks for reading! If you have any disagreements or just thoughts in general don’t be afraid to reply or dm me about it and I’ll be sure to reply! Now back to reblogging Marco posts….

#lis2 #lis #life is strange #life is strange 2 #max caulfield #chloe price #sean diaz #daniel diaz #lis2 spoilers #pricefield #amberprice

145 notes · View notes

pluraldeepdive · 3 years

Text

Mid-continuum VS. Median

Disclaimer: This is a post covering a deep dive of archived events that took place in the past. DO NOT harass or send hate towards anyone mentioned.

Introduction

Mid-continuum was an early label created on the Internet sometime in 1996 by a plural named Vickis. Many individuals, both dissociative and non-dissociative, felt drawn to this term and it became quite popular. Unfortunately, it also ended up grabbing the attention of the anti-DID/OSDD movement. Later in the 2000′s, an anti-DID/OSDD organization coined the term median to replace mid-continuum. Median became more popularized, and mid-continuum subsequently fell out of usage. This post will be going over what I discovered while deep diving Internet archives regarding this subject.

The Precursor to Mid-continuum

In 1997 and earlier, many of the DID-focused websites at the time, such as Astraea’s Web, were spreading around a psychological model known as the dissociative spectrum (or continuum). This older model was conceptualized by Braun in 1988. His model suggested that dissociation lay on a continuum from normal experiences (daydreaming, zoning out, etc.) all the way to polyfragmented DID.

Archive of article by Joan A. Turkus, M.D. (1997)

Proof that this article was shared on Astraea’s Web.

Note for readers: Sources on this post do not reflect up-to-date research and treatment on dissociative disorders.

What was the Mid-continuum?

1. It was based off of the psychological model.

At the time, many individuals in the dissociative community felt drawn to Braun’s dissociative continuum model. One individual in particular, named Vickis, came up with a term for people who identified somewhere in the middle of this continuum. They called it mid-continuum dissociation or just mid-continuum for short. They called those who identified under the label mid-continuum dissociatives. Vickis eventually created a webpage dedicated to this concept called the Wonderful World of the MidContinuum.

2. It was created for dissociative folks.

It was sometime in 1997 when Vickis announced their new webpage to alt.support.dissociation, a Usenet group that was created for people with dissociative disorders. In their message, they stated that mid-continuum folks were dissociative folks who did not fit all of the DID criteria.

You can find an archive of this message here.

You can find an archive of the mid-continuum webpage here.

On their webpage, Vickis explained that mid-continuum was a label for anyone who felt like they had dissociated parts and fell somewhere in the middle on the dissociative continuum model. A quote from the homepage:

“Everyone dissociates. At one end of the dissociative continuum is ‘normal’ or ‘common’ dissociation that nearly everyone engages in[...] At the other end are the behaviors that characterize ‘classical’ multiples, who may have large numbers of very distinct insiders with little internal communication, serious difficulties with time loss, amnesia, and so on.

Between these two extremes, there is a lot of gray. Ranging from having different ‘roles’ that you live out in different situations, to having an ‘inner child’ or ‘inner children’ with varying degrees of separateness, to having ‘ego states,’ ‘parts’ or ‘fragments’ that don't seem to be whole people, to having some but not all of the diagnostic criteria for what is now known as DID[...]”

3. It was created out of respect for folks with DID.

At the time of mid-continuum’s coinage, the DID diagnosis was still usually called MPD or multiplicity in the online dissociative community. Several people, including Vickis, believed that it was disrespectful to call themselves multiple if they didn’t have DID. This seemed to be another reason why Vickis coined the mid-continuum. They believed that calling their own experiences multiplicity would minimize the struggles of those who experienced DID.

From their essay on the subject (archive here):

“[...] someone elsewhere in this thread said something like ‘I don't want to call myself multiple because I don't want to minimize the sufferings of those who are really multiple’. And I can really relate to that. That's why I say I'm not-quite-multiple usually. Because I don't lose time and never have, I can't possibly know what that's like... I don't have barriers that prevent communication between parts... I don't have the struggles that people who are further down the continuum from me have, and I would never want to minimize their issues by claiming that my own are the same.”

4. Mid-continuum folks often had OSDD.

A lot of Vickis’ writing on the mid-continuum reminds me of OSDD (formerly DDNOS). It makes me wonder why they did not mention it more. The only mention I could find was made in 1999, where Vickis offhandedly expressed that mid-continuum folks usually ended up diagnosed with OSDD if seeking a diagnosis. (X) It’s likely that they didn’t mention it more because there wasn’t a lot of recognition for the disorder back then, and Vickis also seemed to prefer less clinical labels for themself.

The Precursor to Median

Over several years, mid-continuum had gained quite a bit of popularity across the Internet. Many anti-psych websites began to take issue with this due to mid-continuum’s origins. For example, many psych-related words such as DID, alter, and host could be found listed as derogatory to empowered and natural multiples on Dark Personalities. (X) Mid-continuum was unfortunately subjected to this as well. “Since many people feel the idea of a continuum to be inaccurate, many are seeking a new term instead of mid-continuum,” Dark Personalities stated. It wouldn’t be long before some anti-psyches tackled this challenge.

What was Median?

1. It was created to replace mid-continuum.

In 2003, the natural multiplicity organizations Lancers & Pavilion decided to take action. (Read my post on Lancers/Pavilion here.) They stated that it was a mistake for the mid-continuum to be based on psychology and dissociation. (X) Furthermore, they seemed to be a bit perturbed that Vickis believed multiplicity was exclusively caused by trauma. (X) As a way to right what they saw as wrong, they came up with the term median to replace mid-continuum. (X)

On the Pavilion website, Astraea’s Web wrote an essay on the midcontinuum and why they came up with the median label to replace it. You can read that essay here. This excerpt sticks out to me the most:

“It's important to allow the concept to be inclusive of everyone who fits, regardless of past abuse history or origins, much as is currently being done for 'multiplicity.' With its roots in the abuse-dissociation model, midcontinuum is too limiting; it is no longer useful to us. Median creates a certain measure of psychological distance and gives the concept a fresh start, without the dissociative baggage of the past, and embraces all who feel they are more than one.”

To summarize, mid-continuum was a label that was created by dissociative folks for dissociative folks. Non-dissociative anti-psychs decided to replace it because it wasn’t useful or inclusive enough for them, and it was too psychological. That’s why they came up with median.

2. It was created to exclude people with DID/OSDD.

The Lancers/Pavilion did not intend for people with dissociative disorders to use the median label. Their philosophy was that people with DID/OSDD could not actually be plural, multiple, or median. The organizations believed that only “functional” and “non-disordered” individuals could be plural, multiple, or median. If a person with DID/OSDD was able to function up to their standards, then Lancers/Pavilion considered the person to no longer have DID/OSDD.