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alrightberries · 3 years

Text

dante’s inferno

request: wassup homie could you maybe write a college au fic where levi and reader are rommies, then one day reader brings home an adopted cat without levi's prior knowledge? You could decide what happens next lol. Tysm 🥺

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

❈ genre: fluff, semi-crack ❈ word count: 4k

❈ summary: college au. in which you bring a stray cat to your dorm and your neat freak roommate won’t let you keep it.

alternatively: a compilation of college shenanigans where you and levi are best friends who are bad with feelings (ft. an unamused cat named dante)

❈ trigger warnings: profanity. mentions of alcohol and smoking. implied smut.

a/n: this was supposed to be loosely based on the nine circles of hell according to inferno by dante alighieri— hence the title— but i did my research wrong so now it’s loosely based on the seven terraces of purgatory according to divine comedy. i’m keeping the title tho.

Inspired by this art by @ryuichirou on tumblr.

Permission to repost art was granted by the artist. Do not repost/edit the art without explicit permission from the artist.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

i. first terrace: pride

“We’re not keeping it.”

“But why?”

“We’re not keeping it.”

“But why.”

Levi’s tongue clicks in annoyance. His eyes glance next you where the offending creature lay on your bed; tail curling, paws kneading at his your favorite fleece blanket. Quite frankly he’s a little offended when the little shit has the audacity to glare at him back.

He’ll never admit it, but his ego’s a bit bruised because the cat’s glare was slightly better than his.

“I said no,” he firmly replies, looking back to you. “It’s bad enough I have to share a room with an anarchist who has no respect for boundaries—“

“One time, I forgot to use a coaster that one time!”

“—and now you expect me to share a room with a dirty fur ball who does nothing but eat, shit, and sleep?”

“He’s a cat, Levi.” You murmur, scooping the cat into your arms. “And he has a name,” you give a nervous smile when you see your rommate grit his teeth. He feels a headache coming.

“You named it?”

“Dante is not an ‘it’.”

Levi makes a move to step closer but immediately stops when the ‘Dante’ hisses at him.

“Aw, he likes you.” You coo.

“Clearly,” he replies unenthusiastically. “Listen,” he sighs. “I respect your cat’s pronouns but that doesn’t mean he’s allowed to stay. Or do I need to remind you of the mac and cheese incident?”

Okay, maybe he was on to something. If you got caught with a pet in the dorms you’d breach your third and final warning, and you’d be forced to dorm off-campus. The fact that you were still here after the mac and cheese incident was solely because Levi pulled some strings (aka asked Erwin, golden boy of the campus who owed him a favor, to pull some strings).

But you couldn’t just let Dante go. There was something about him that felt so familiar; something about his black fur, thin silver eyes, unamused snarl, and overall grumpy demeanor. Especially endearing was the way he’d grumble and pretend to be annoyed whenever you tried to cuddle him but would complain if you stopped.

You just couldn’t figure out who or what he reminded you of.

Maybe you would’ve figured it out too if you weren’t so distracted with watching Levi and Dante stare at each other. Your eyes dart back and forth between the grouchy cat sitting on your bed and your grouchy roommate sitting on his desk. Both were slightly crouched over with their heads tilted up in a show of dominance; they were engaged in what seemed to be a glaring contest, gunmetal irises unamused and mouths taut in a snarl as they protected their territory.

You sigh. You really, for the life of you, couldn’t figure out why Dante felt so familiar.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

ii. second terrace: envy

Levi is not jealous. He’s not.

At least that’s what he tells himself as he sulks alone on his bed. His arms are crossed and his lips are in a pout, eyebrows knitted in distaste, occasionally glancing to your side of the room where you sat up on your bed. He’s sure whatever movie you chose to watch together is interesting and all, but right now all he could pay attention to was that stupid cat. Sitting on your stupid lap. Getting its fur stroked by your stupid hand. Getting all the love and affection his stupid self should be receiving.

It was him you should be cuddling, not Dante. Saturday nights were reserved for him and you, not you and a cat while he happened to be in the room. He’s been trying to make a move on you since high school and he can’t fucking believe he’s losing your attention to a cat. Sure, he’s always been too chicken to make a move and had to suffer seeing you get together with assholes— as per your type during your emo high school days— but this was a new low. He can’t wrap his head around the concept that he’s losing his longterm crush to a motherfucking cat.

When you coo at how adorable the fleabag was for what felt like the 50th time that night, Levi decides he’s had enough of the cuddle-hogging piece of shit.

Wordlessly, he crosses to your side of the room and lifts the cat from its perch, ignoring your protests as he sets it down on the floor and tells it to ‘scram, you little fuck.’ He uses a hand to dust your lap free of any microscopic cat particles Dante probably left behind before lying down his head down once he was satisfied. He grabs your hand to put it on his hair.

“Stroke.” He orders, eyes closing.

“What? No! You pushed off Dante.”

“He was in my spot.”

“You couldn’t have given up your lap pillow for one night?”

“One night?” He scoffs and turns to look at you. “You’ve been abandoning me for two weeks. That disgusting, tic-infested, rabies-carrying slob has no business sitting on your lap.”

“He’s not disgusting, you gave him a shower before you agreed to let me keep him. And I took him the vet to make sure he had all his shots. He’s clean, Levi.”

“Tch, good. Now throw him out and let him find someone else to freeload from.”

“Okay, what’s going on?” You guffaw. “You’ve been grumpier than usual. And why’re you being such an ass to Dante? He’s just a cat.”

“Don’t think he’s special in some way. I’m an ass to everyone.”

“Then why does it feel like you’re always extra mean to him?”

He doesn’t reply. His lips are downturned into a frown when he looks away with a click of his tongue, and you realize with a sigh you won’t be getting an answer from your cryptic roommate soon. Your fingers start mindlessly stroking his undercut when you get lost in your thoughts— a habit you developed through years of Levi using your lap as a pillow. He always complained the first few times you did it but you knew it calmed both him and you, and that it put both your minds at ease. Moreso Levi right now, apparently.

You’re keenly aware of how he seems to curl up into you the more you keep going. You watch as his shoulders slump down when you stroke the side of his face, and his eyebrows relax slightly. From your angle, you could even see the way his eyes close in content. Maybe even a tiny smile if you were being delusional.

Your lip twitches upward.

“Oh my god, Levi, are you jealous of a cat?”

“Shut up and play with my hair.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

iii. third terrace: wrath

“You owe me a new cravat.”

You blink up at your roommate. “What?”

“You owe me a new cravat.” He repeats. He pulls from his pocket a white piece of fabric— barely recognizable— torn into shreds, releases it mid-air. It gently lands on your open palm.

“Wait, did Dante do this?” You ask, eyeing the slik in your hands.

“Unless you went feral in the middle of the fucking night and decided to cut up my clothes, yes.”

“Oh my god, Levi, I’m so sorry. I swear Dante will never—“

“You actually owe me three cravats,” he interjects. “The first two I overlooked since they weren’t that expensive but I draw the line here.” His lips are downturned into a frown, eyes poorly concealing his clear distaste. “This one’s my favorite and it was made from silk.”

You eye the fabric in your hands once more before nodding in understanding, setting down the once beautiful cravat before taking out your wallet. It was only fair that you paid him back; he was being more than generous with letting your cat stay and keeping it a secret, and now you wonder how many bad things Dante’s done that Levi’s overlooked or simply never brought up with you.

“Sure, I’m really sorry. How much do I owe you?”

Levi doesn’t say anything. Instead he pulls out his phone and types something on what you could only assume was google, most likely looking for the same brand of the cravat your cat had just torn into shreds. You weren’t entirely sure how much those could cost, but surely you could afford—

“What the fuck!” You screech, eyeing the page with very, very hefty price tags listed. Holy fucking hell where did he even get the money to buy something so expensive. Gulping, you nervously look up at your unimpressed roommate. You already knew he was taking it easy on you; his aura was the only thing intimidating, at least he wasn’t giving you the murder eyes. And even though he was a man of his word, you were thankful he hasn’t reported Dante.

Still, it didn’t change the fact that Levi looked pissed beyond belief.

“Uhm... can I pay you with a check that’ll definitely bounce?”

“You will pay me in cash.”

“Fuck, fine!”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

iv. fourth terrace: sloth

Levi silently works on his desk. His laptop’s open in fromt of him, numerous notes from classes and books from the library surrounding him. The gentle sounds of clicking and clacking echoe throughout the room as fingers typed at the keyboard, eyes concentrated and lips pulled taught as he focuses on his task. He’s on a roll. He’s almost done with this part of his research, nothing could snap him out of this, he just needs to—

“Levi, when do you think Dante will come back to me?”

He stops typing and grits his teeth.

This is how it’s been the entire night. Ten minutes of peace before you ask him some stupid questions that could’ve been answered with common sense.

“Fuck if I care.”

“Do you think it was something I did?”

He resumes typing. “Yes.”

“Do you think he’ll come back?”

“No.”

“Even after all we’ve been through?”

“Still no.”

“I miss him,” you sigh. “I miss him so much.”

“Then you shouldn’t have left the door open.”

It’s been a week since Dante escaped the dorm and Levi doesn’t understand why you’re still so depressed about it. I mean, you only lost a cat that you loved and treasured and treated like family. Surely a week of moping around in your pajamas and eating nothing but chips and soda was catharsis enough.

He hears you shift in your burrito blanket, presumably to turn away from him so you can sulk into the wall next to your bed. Good. Now he can get back to working on—

“Levi do you think Dante-“

“Enough.” He grits, slamming his laptop shut.

“Where’re you going?” You ask, eyeing the way he hurriedly stuffs papers and books into his bag along with his laptop.

“Out.” He replies, grabbing his keys and his coat. “I can’t stand this shit anymore.”

Your head is burried in your blankets when he slams the door shut and all you could do was slump down because great. You lost Dante, and now you’ve royally pissed off Levi.

Great. Just fucking great.

Unlike your cat, however, your roommate comes back hours later, just before curfew. He doesn’t bother with a hello— he never does— and neither do you, opting to stay hidden underneath the sheets. Though suddenly, there’s a dip in the mattress followed by a pur next to your head.

Could it be?

“Dante?” You murmur, lifting your head from underneath your cocoon of fabric. Small black paws and silver eyes meet your gaze. “Dante!” Immediately sitting up, you pulled him to your lap, scratching his little head and cooing about how much you missed him as he purred and curled into to you.

Levi would never say it, but he missed seeing you smile at the little fleabag.

You turn to look at your roommate. “How’d you find him?”

“Asked around the campus. He wandered into another dorm building and probably thought it was ours.”

“Well yeah but... I thought you hated him?”

“I do.” He replies instantly.

“Then why’d you find him?”

“I hate him, not you.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

v. fifth terrace: avarice

“I fucking hate both of you,” Levi grumbles, staring at the dorm.

Towers of boxes lined his supposed to be clean dorm room. He had a hard time prying the door open since it was blocked, and he wasn’t even sure how the boxes weren’t blocking out the light from how high they were piled. Dante’s sat on a stack of box directly next to the door, purring and flicking his tail around. Levi squints his eyes and glares at the little shit.

“You especially.”

“Mrow?”

Levi’s day had been, with no irony or sarcasm at all, amazing. He got a good grade on his research paper; the guy in front of him at the cafe accidentally ordered an extra serving of (coincidentally, Levi’s favorite) tea and gave it to him for free; and he got full marks for the presentation he’s been worrying about for weeks. His class even got dismissed early so he had an extra hour for lunch. He knew you didn’t have classes, so in honor of his great day he thought he’d do something nice and take you out for lunch. His treat, of course.

But any trace of his good mood vanished when he went back to the dorms and got greeted to a room that looked like it came from an episode of Hoarders.

This is what he gets for trying to be nice.

“Levi! Is that you?” You called out.

“What the fuck happened?”

You laugh sheepishly— at least Levi thinks you do. He couldn’t see you beyond the hundred boxes that took up your shared room. He hears some rustling and the sound of things being moved around before finally your head pops out from behind a wall of brown, smiling at him apologetically before walking towards him (and tripping a few times).

“Remember when I said I’d order some toys for Dante as a surprise?”

Levi’s eye twitches. “Don’t tell me—”

“I accidentally ordered 10,000 instead of 10. Online shopping struggles, am I right?” You nervously chuckle at his pissed off face. Levi was not in the mood.

Your smile widens as you make twinkly gestures with your hands. “So uh... surprise?”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

vi. sixth terrace: gluttony

The clinic is still when you first entered.

The harsh smell of alcohol and sterile metal makes your nose grimace, and the coldness of the thermostat brings goosebumps to your arms. Behind the wall, somewhete in the waiting room, cats are hissing, dogs are barking, and you could even hear the sound of birds angrily chirping and rattling their cages.

Dante cowers in fear on the silver table, and your heart aches. His ears are down and his fur’s standing on its ends, but you couldn’t comfort him. Not right now, at least. The veterinarian still needed to do a few more checks.

You gulp, “how’s... how’s Dante looking, doc?”

“Not good,” she murmurs. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and she takes a deep sigh as she eyes the information on the chart. “It’ll take months before he can walk properly again, possibly more if we don’t do anything about it soon.”

“Don’t tell me... is he—-”

“I’m sorry, my dear,” she sighs. “But your cat is heavily obese.”

The corners of your lips twitch down into a frown, and your palm is warm when you start to stroke Dante’s fur. He calms down a bit from your touch, less on edge but still guarded as he warily eyes the doctor’s gloved hands.

“But I don’t understand,” you reply. “I’ve been following the recommended diet you put him on, and I haven’t been feeding him anything other than the cat food and vitamins you recommended. How’s he still obese?”

“Well, we could look into other solutions, but for now I think we ought to look at whether or not Dante has an underlying health problem.”

Levi tunes out the chatter between you and the vet, bored eyes staring into nothing. He’s leaning against a wall and he’s watching the cat carrier. Your bag’s slung over his shoulders and your coat’s in his arms, and he was sure you didn’t even need him to be here for “moral support.”

He mentally scoffs. You probably just needed a chauffeur to drive you for free, and honestly, Levi would rather feel like a chauffeur than a coat rack.

His eyes make contact with Dante’s, and all the fear in the cat’s eyes is suddenly gone, replaced with a steely glare and bared teeth. A warning, one no one else notices but him.

Levi gives him a solitary nod, understanding what Dante wanted to say.

Don’t tell Y/N I’ve been sneaking to the neighbors.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

vii. seventh terrace: desire

There’s something about the buzz of alcohol and nicotine that makes Levi confident—- the liquid courage in his veins and the smoke in his lungs clouding his judgement. Perhaps that’s where he finally gets the balls to cross the room, drunken eyes on your equally intoxicated ones, before he pulls you in for a kiss.

The kiss starts slow, with lips just interlocking and lightly testing the waters. But then he feels your tongue make its way inside his mouth and your fingers weave into his hair to tug him closer, and Levi loses the last threads of inhibition he has. His tongue massages yours and one of his arm wraps around your waist, the other comes down to grope and knead your ass. He feels you walk backwards and your hand pulls at his tie, dragging him with you. Suddenly he’s trapping you against a wall, lifting one of your legs up to wrap around his hips so he could grind his crotch into yours.

Levi doesn’t expect his first kiss with you to be like this; messy and full of tongue and spit, full of fingers clawing at clothes and small grunts escaping your lips. He was hoping it’d be more romantic, with warm cheeks and fingers softly intertwining, shy kisses exchanged through little smiles.

But he’s not about to complain—- he’s wanted to be with you for years, and god he loved having you like this. Loved having you all hot and desperate, trapped between his firm chest and the wall. His cock is hard in his pants, and he just about growls when he feels you start to undo his belt, the fly of his pants coming down as you got on your knees and stared up at him with innocent eyes as you pull out his aching boner. There’s a cheeky grin your face when you pump at his length, and your tongue peaks out of your mouth before—

“Levi, are you okay?”

His eyes snap open, and he’s greeted to the sight of your worried face directly above his.

“Fuck!” he yells, and his forehead slams into yours when he flinches away. “Sorry, sorry” he quickly ammends when you yelp in pain.

He’s covered in sweat, he notices. Chest heaving, heart beating a little too loud for his liking, and he silently pulls the blankets over his cum stained boxers when you sit beside him.

God, he was really hoping you wouldn’t notice the fact that he came in his pants like a high schooler. And it was before dream you even got to suck him off. How much more pathetic could he be.

“Are you okay?” He asks, and you nod.

“Yeah, m’fine, it’s just...” your eyes are distracted, staring off into space. Fingers trace his thighs, and you sigh. “You were having a nightmare,”

Levi blinks. “What?”

“You were having a nightmare,” you repeat. “Kept tossing and turning and groaning in your sleep. And you kept making these... funny faces,”

“...right,” he nods. Sure, a nightmare. A nightmare he never wanted to wake up from.

It takes about ten minutes to reassure you that yes, he was fine, don’t mind the way his cheeks are flushed, he was just... shaken up from his nightmare, is all. Then you’re back to bed, sleeping the night away, and twenty minutes later he’s on his way back to bed too; this time with a fresh pair of boxers and a content look on his face, all thanks to him finishing off his fantasies in the communal bathroom during his shower.

The door makes a quiet click when he shuts it behind him, and he freezes when he catches sight of Dante sat up on your bed, tail flicking behind him as he gives Levi a knowing look.

Levi squints his eyes, and he threateningly whispers, “you tell no one.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

epilogue

The half empty room brings a frown to your face, and all you could do was pout as you sealed up the last of the boxes.

“Why do you have to leave again?” you ask, and Levi turns around as he finishes folding the last of his clothes. He shrugs. “Cats aren’t allowed in the dorms.”

You owed him your entire college career, that much was sure. The RA’s found out about Dante, and Levi had taken the fall to spare you. He wasn’t required to move out since it was only his first strike, but he insisted on doing so so that Dante wouldn’t be alone, saying he already found an apartment nearby and he’ll never hear the end of it from you if he didn’t take Dante with him.

Bullshit. Levi had a soft spot for Dante, you knew that much. He wasn’t doing it for you, he was doing it for himself. Though normally you’d be overjoyed to know that Levi really did secretly like the cat he pretended to hate so much, this time, you were just pissed. You couldn’t believe a fucking cat was stealing away the guy you’ve been in love with since high school. Sure, you were too much of a coward to ask him out, but he was basically your boyfriend already—- the entire campus knew you inadvertently had dibs on each other.

“Yeah but... do you have to leave me alone?”

“I asked you to come with me, and you said no.” He points out. “I still don’t see why when we’ve been roommates since we were freshmen.”

“It’s different off-campus!”

“How?”

“Because it’s like... it’s like we’re moving in together, y’know?” you reply. “And it seemed wrong to move in with you when we’re not even dating.”

“Let’s do it, then.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighs, handing you a spare key to what you could only assume was his new apartment. You glance between him and the key in your hands, and he rolls his eyes when he realizes that you still don’t get it.

“I know we’re doing this backwards since couples don’t typically move in before the first date,” he says before gesturing to Dante. “But we already have a son, and I know you’re his favorite parent. We can share custody until you can move in with me.”

You blink. “What?” Your brain stopped working when Levi referred to you as a couple, and you’re pretty sure your heart stopped beating too. At this point, anything he said went in one ear and out the other. He flicks your forehead.

“Hey— ow! What was that for?”

“You weren’t listening.”

“And you’re being a prick!” you grumble. “It hurts, y’know.”

He scoffs. “What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?” he scoffs.

Your mouth moves faster than your brain, “I’d rather you kiss me.”

Wait. What?

Before you could go back on your words, Levi shrugs. Warm palms gently grab your cheeks, pulling your face closer to his. Your eyes widen and you momentarily freeze, brain definitely not working anymore. He hesitates when you don’t make a move, but then you’re shyly leaning forward, and that was all the confirmation Levi needs.

“If you insist,” he whispers, and suddenly your words die on your tongue when his lips interlock with yours.

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blackswaneuroparedux · 3 years

Text

No “wine-ing”: a season of ice and fire

A lot of you dropped very kind messages about my well being and I’m happy to say that my recovery from Covid is firmly on track and I’m close to full strength again. My exhaustion and tiredness has thankfully been ebbing away. I’m back running my daily 5 km before I start my work day and cycling to get back to full fitness.

So I managed to escape Paris before the travel lockdown and curfew was imposed before April 26. I’m a country girl at heart and I’ve always felt a little uncomfortable in big cities. I love Paris but I also get tired of it quite easily. So I headed to the chateau vineyard where I thought I could complete my recovery from my Covid illness and work remotely (the work never stops) without too many distractions.

Unfortunately - or fortunately as I prefer to see it - I was mud deep in trying to rescue our wine harvest for 2021 as frost struck over a few nights that left us reeling, and left much of the country’s wine growing region devastated. No region of France was spared as French wine producers fought valiantly over several nights to stop the frost from letting the buds finally come out to sprout. Wine makers fought with everything they could think of, and in the end resorted to fire to keep the temperature warm enough for the vines to survive the cold snap. It was a spectacular sight all across the horizons of many French wine growing regions including ours.

I’m just thankful to be there at the right place and the right time to help out.

I enjoy coming down to our chateau vineyard as it’s a welcome contrast to the busy city life of Paris. I just couldn’t wait to get dressed up (or dress down?) in tatty old clothing, rolling up my sleeves, and getting my hands dirty with any physical chores to do around the vineyard. I always have this urge to make myself useful instead being stuck behind a desk, bored to death in Zoom call meetings. I was looking forward to running and cycling in the open country air to bust a gut or two.

Mostly though I was looking forward to enjoying home cooked country food, be in the fun company of my two Anglo-Norwegian cousins and their French families, and together we’d be preening over the first shoots of the forthcoming wine harvest for 2021.

It is always an emotional moment at this time of year when we see in the vineyards the glistening tears of the vines (‘les pleurs’) that tell us that the new vintage is underway. As the temperatures rise so does the sap in the vines and where the pruners have trimmed the end of the branch, we see this beautiful sight that reassures us – telling us whatever happens, nature continues. The baby buds are beginning to come out timidly but soon the stark branches of the vines will be green again as these fragile leaves unfurl in the spring sunlight.

Back in 2020 many vintners (winemakers), not just in our region but across the whole of France, were unsure what 2021 would bring. Would 2021 be a challenging vintage or an easy one full of sunshine? With the growing season starting so early, the first hurdle - and one of the most crucial - is the fear of late frost. It seems to be more and more of a problem in recent years, this late frost burying any new growth like a fast moving avalanche. For many vintners they have 2017 written into their hearts in painful tears when frost devastated any hope for a healthy harvest and for some even brought financial ruin.

For me - at the time - it was a rude introduction to the vicissitudes of the wine making business by two wine loving cousins co-owning and co-managing an old family owned French vineyard. Family fortunes rise and fall according to the harvest. All the blood, tears, and sweat poured into running an efficient high yielding grape vineyard comes to naught when you realise that you are not the master, nature is.

The risk of frost has increased in recent years due to global warming, which does not just warm but makes the climate more erratic and temperatures more extreme. Good news for the moderately temperate climate for our wine making region where hotter drier summers have produced a string of good recent vintages (2015, 2016, 2018, 2020). But the negative side of this is that frosts have become more common right up until the end of the usual cycle – last year it was on 6th May.

Except this year, 2021, now looked like 2017 because of the devastation of continued frost on the vines. In talking to the French family of my cousin’s French wife, who have faithfully made wine for a few generations they ruefully pointed out past bad frosts. Apparently 1956 was legendary with a very cold winter frost some minus 20 °C following a warm period when the sap rose from the roots into the vine foot and branches. It killed the vines. The last disastrous late spring frost before 2017 was 1991. It seems to be striking significantly every two years now and a every year to a degree. Who would have expected the devastation again this year, 2021 some forty years on.

This year, particularly around April 7th and 8th, brought despair to vignerons right across France from Champagne to Cognac, Burgundy to Bordeaux as thousands of vineyards’ new growth was obliterated by frost (resulting in zero yield for harvest 2021). There may be some new growth and some secondary budding but this is a repeat of 2017 (if not worse) and few were able to harvest any grapes worth speaking of.

My cousins had been in contact with friends and other peers who are wine makers in other regions (friendships are built at trade shows overseas and other association events) and in totality the picture appeared bleaker than previous years. The scourge of frost had been catastrophic. Around half of the vines in Burgundy have been damaged, according to local producers. Some vineyard owning friends in the Inter Rhône region told us that the whole of the Rhône has been hit dramatically and that some plots are affected 100%.

According to the CNIV, the official French council for wine appellation, the frost has affected 80% of French vineyards. We already know that we will have a very low harvest in 2021. Nearly all French wine growers have just suffered a dark week in April.

It’s not just wine growers but fruit farmers too. It’s been like winter coming in spring. Below-freezing temperatures in the Drome and Ardèche regions of central southern France have led to fruit farmers losing up to 90 percent of their kiwi, apricot, apple, and peach harvest. Even in Bordeaux the severity of the frost damaged the growth on fruit trees such as apricots, peaches and nectarines, and field-crops such as rapeseed and sugar beet.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. How does one protect the vines from frost?

There have been a variety of ways vineyard owners have been dealing with the problem of frost. There’s no one size fits all and the solutions are often handicapped by the size of one’s vineyards, financial resources, and manpower.

Two solutions in fighting frost have been aeolian wind turbines and air fans. It takes the warmer air from higher up, and pushes it to the ground. These machines can raise temperatures by up to 2C. The problem is that some of these wind turbines and air fans are permanently set so they can only be set in one direction whilst others one can wheel around to move the air and stop frost settling. Both are very expensive solutions and the cost may outweigh the gain.

Air heaters are another solution. No less expensive though. One of our vineyard owning neighbours wanted to use paraffin fuelled heaters. But he said he would have needed 4,500 paraffin-fuelled heaters to cover all his 15 hectares at a cost of nearly €50,000 for the two worst nights, and even then growers it would protect only the vines for his finest wines.

Some of the vineyards also launched helicopters to fly above their vineyards, a method that can help to prevent frost by encouraging warm air to circulate. In effect they push the cold air around so that it does not sink down to the ground causing its damage. I was all for this solution as I’m an ex-army helicopter combat pilot and so I felt my old training could be put to use in civilian helicopters. But we ruled this out once we did the maths. At about 1600€-2000€ per hour one can only fly from 6am but this is the coldest time when the sun comes up. At best the helicopter’s range of effectiveness was a mere 10 hectares. So you don’t get more bang for your buck. But that didn’t stop some vineyards that we knew doing exactly that. These were corporate owned vineyards who tend to be well heeled and can afford to spare no expense.

There are less expensive solutions but are more costly in terms of manpower.

Some vineyards used water sprinklers, allowing a fine coating hitting sub-zero temperatures as the ice acts like a mini-igloo and protect it from outside colder temperatures.

Conversely, vineyard owners hit upon another relatively low cost solution of using candles. They usually last 12 hours and so in effect can be used for the two crucial nights of severe frost. We calculated that at 10€ a candle you would need 300 for one hectare alone. Of course the chief problem is that they need to be lit by hand and hope the wind was kind.

For the biodynamic wine producers they fell back on organic solutions. They sprayed their vines with a spray composed of pectins from apples which is supposed to lower the temperature around the vines. More common and perhaps more effective was spraying vines with Valerian to give the vines some added fortification to survive themselves.

By far the most common response by vineyard owners to combat the frost was to burn fires by burning hay bales amongst the vines. The smoke causes a blanket which heats up the atmosphere. In the old days I was told they actually burned rubber tyres! For it to have any chance of being effective you have to be aware of wine direction and make sure the bales are in the right places. It also helps if your neighbours do the same.

Speaking for our chateau vineyard, we had to make tough decisions to see how our chateau vineyard could combat the frost and minimise the damage to the future harvest. Although I own a small financial investment stake in the vineyard I have always deferred to my two cousins who actually run the vineyard with their married partners on a day to day basis. It’s their life long passion and I’m happy to play a small part in getting my hands (literally) dirty in building something from the soil up and for purely selfish reasons, just love being so close to nature itself. The fact that the French family of one my cousin’s wife - they actually owned the land and were reputable wine makers for generations - added invaluable weight to the wisdom of any decision making we had to do.

We sat around the kitchen table and talked through our options whilst nursing a glass of wine from a past vintage. My cousins and their kids especially thought I was a weirdo - they’re probably right! It’s not that I enjoy it (the mud, sweat and lack of sleep etc) but it was the challenge that really got me energised. If it’s a forlorn battle against the odds that’s when I really come alive. So I was quite jolly and full of vim whilst those around me were bleary eyed and groaning for bed and a hot shower as we were out in the fields in the dead of night. We ran it like a military operation - thanks to me ha! - I put everyone on detail and even the small kids saluted and got to work on their task. We made sure we had hot soup and beers constantly on tap for our staff and workers to take a food break and take a breather. Not that they needed motivating. Every one of our staff and also volunteers worked bravely to limit the damage.

So in the end we fell upon a series of actions which indeed many of our immediate wine making neighbours also followed suit. We sprayed, we watered, we burned. We tried everything to save our vines from further damage from frost.

We concocted an organic solution that had thyme, oregano, and wild sariette to which we added valerian and meadowsweet and a dash of yarrow and horsetail as well as honey; all of which help the whole organic solution to work. In effect this helps the vine to prepare for ice, by changing the composition of the sap a little, by enriching it with sugar. The infusion is then sprayed onto the vines at least 24 hours before the first freeze is forecast. The solution only works if the temperatures stay just below freezing but no lower, at around -2C or -1C maximum. With this solution on the plants, we could increase temperatures by 1-2 degrees. If it drops even lower, to around -5C, as we had in 2019, it’s not enough. It might save some plants, but not all.

We soon followed with watering the vines using our irrigation system we had on hand. It was labouriously time consuming.

When it was clear that this wasn’t going to work out because of the severe temperature drop we fell on fire as the saving solution.

It was all hands on deck as we also roped in some volunteers to help us start small controlled fires amongst our vines. We burned straw bales and piles of wood in very large jerry cans to save what we could. The aim was to create a blanket of smoke so that when the sun came up it didn't burn the vines because of the humidity. One vineyard neighbour of ours actually used a flame thrower and lit more than 700 small fires but had to start all over again because the fires didn’t last one night.

This was our experience too. We had a lot of hectares to cover and so little man power and so we just worked around the clock until we were able to light fires and keep an eye on them should they go out. We ran between the selected vines to make sure the fires remained lit throughout the night starting around 2am to 6am. I don’t think any of us had more than a few hours sleep over a crucial 48 hour window. We took turns to cook for everyone and made sure everyone was well fed on home cooking as well as hot showers and adequately winter clothed. I’m used to being sweaty and getting by on little sleep from my army days but it’s a measure of how far I’ve succumbed to civilian life that even I found it a little hard going.

I’m not very good at lighting fires as I tend to over compensate on the fuel lighter and I feared that I would burn the whole vineyard down by trying to start a small controlled fire. I got singed here and there but nothing to complain about. Others were just marvellous in their work ethic and shared bonhomie as we tried to save our vineyard. One person on our staff did get singed with flames and in his case we rushed him to hospital with minor third degree burns. We all felt like roasted chestnuts standing between the small fires. But what a spectacular sight the landscape was with all these lighted fires. This wasn’t just our vineyard but all across the landscape of neighbouring vineyards. It looked as if the whole region was on fire. It was quite hypnotising to look at. As to its effects, it’s harder to discern. I do know that even cities of Lyon and Bordeaux had a layer of smog that was visible to others from far away.

Looking back it was both exhausting and exhilarating to experience such a time. It’s the kind of rite of passage that either breaks you or makes you. For us it certainly brought us all together more tightly than before. With our neighbours too there was a collective sense of togetherness and rather than act selfishly or just worry about our own fortunes, neighbours lent a hand towards each other in terms of equipment, expertise, or voluntary labour.

Perhaps the more wealthy chateau vineyards’ expensive techniques were able to save their best vineyards but most who could afford creating smoke blankets from burning hay bales – they were no match for the frost with temperatures down to minus 5 in some areas. Hopefully insurance had been taken out, which involves a substantial expenditure each year. We are fortunate to have insurance and the damage done to our vineyard has been mitigated to some extent. But I do know for instance that many are not insured against the effects of frost because of the cost of the coverage and many French wine producers were already struggling financially.

It was reported that many chateau vineyards in lesser known areas (Castillon, Bourg, Blaye, Côtes de Franc, Graves, Satellites of St Emilion) who could not afford these payments and who played ‘Russian roulette’, this year lost for perhaps for the last time. For them it’s personally heart breaking. For French wine making it’s a cultural tragedy. It’s hard enough for small independent vineyards (often run by families or young couples with a dream) to survive - the economies of scale as well as being aggressively overshadowed by the high volume output and superior marketing power of wealthy corporate owned vineyards - but never really expected nature, or vicissitudes of global warming, to make it that much more harder to make wine.

Unlike Bordeaux, Burgundy, the Rhone valley, in the Champagne region, we heard that not many Champagne wine producers didn’t even bother fighting the frost because they thought it would have done little good. One of the reasons why so few people engaged in frost protection in Champagne is these wine makers have as their biggest buffer against frost is their Individual Reserve (RI). In case appellation requirements are not met in the vineyard, they can draw from it.

Indeed with sales still stagnating and small yield expectations, growers may have to dip in the RI because frost season is not over till after the Saintes Glaces, a period in the middle of May after which frost generally doesn't appear. But not every vineyard can do that.

To their credit, perhaps recognising the commercial and cultural role French wine has in daily life and international prestige, the French government had agreed to step in to help. President Emmanuel Macron tweeted a picture of a candle-lit vineyard and promised that help was on the way, “À vous, agriculteurs qui, partout en France, avez lutté sans relâche, nuit après nuit, pour protéger les fruits de votre travail, je veux vous dire notre soutien plein et entier dans ce combat. Tenez bon ! Nous sommes à vos côtés et le resterons.” (“To you, farmers who, throughout France, have fought tirelessly, night after night, to protect the fruits of your labour, I want to give you our full support in this fight. Hold on tight! We are by your side and will remain so." )

To that end President Macron has declared an "agricultural disaster" and Prime Minister Jean Castex has promised that the government will provide emergency relief to those who were affected. He has also removed the limit on the amount of financial compensation that can be provided. It said it would help the smaller independent vineyards and co-operatives with tax breaks as well as pushing banks and insurance companies to help out. It’s unclear if any of this will come to pass or indeed what effect it might have in the short and long term. We shall see.

It’s been estimated that at least a third of French wine production worth nearly € 2 billion (£ 1.7 billion) in sales will be lost this year. It's another blow for France's wine industry whatever assistance is given. The French wine industry has already been dealing with the knock-on effects of the Covid pandemic, with decreases in restaurant orders due to the country's series of lockdowns. Independent producers have been hit hard by the cancellation of wine fairs due to Covid. Then there have been the effects of the tariffs that former President Donald Trump imposed as a result of assorted disputes between the administration and the European Union. In late 2019, Trump hit French wine with a retaliatory 25% import duty, a cost increase that the Economist says contributed to a 14% drop in French wine exports in 2020. Last month in March, the United States and the EU announced a four-month suspension of the tariffs.

But that doesn't necessarily help winegrowers right now - especially since a significant percentage of this year's crop may already be lost. Tradition has it that it is well into May before vine growers can sleep easy without worrying about the risk of further frost damage.

Even though we did our best to save our vines we couldn’t save all of them and even had decide which ones to forgo even trying because we lacked manpower and resources at such short notice. I heard someone amongst ourselves say losing the vines that one has cultivated so lovingly was like the loss of a family member. It may seem puerile, but that is close to what many feel. Perhaps only winegrowers can understand this sentiment, but they have found themselves out in the vines in the morning with tears in their eyes. I’m not one for sentiment and displays of emotion but even I was a little moved to see the heart break in tear filled eyes of some of the older generation who have for decades given their sweat and tears to tilling the soil. We did our best to console one another and remarkably in that crucible we experienced together we all became closer.

What is clear is the tradition of wine - beyond national politics and international trade disputes - is under long term threat from something much more existential. There is a saying amongst the older generation of wine makers in our fertile wine making region who say, ‘wine history is climate history’. Wine making is about the vines, the ‘terroir’ (a French way of saying the earth or the soil), but also the climate. Nature is very much the master and wine makers are but humble servants of the soil. For those who don’t believe in climate change or think it’s overly dramatised by scientists or worse, a hoax, then I would say wake up and smell the coffee. Climate change is real as any wine producer or arable farmer will tell you. Wine can make you do or say many things, but it won’t ever make you tell a wilful lie.

The French wife of my cousin, whose family the vineyard had been for several generations, told us that the wine harvest time used to span her grandfather’s birthday - September 28 - but now, the bustle of harvest is over and cleaned up in time for his birthday party - that’s two to three weeks earlier than when her grandfather used to make the wine. As she memorably put it, things are “bien cramées” (really screwed up).

All of this means that wine producers will have to change their ways as the climate changes. All the measures taken to combat frost were in reality delaying tactics to fight a losing battle with the climate. The wine industry, not just in France but around the world, needs to evolve if it is to face up to increasing climate challenges. This might include planting more weather-resistant vines that flower later, and are therefore less vulnerable to late frosts and cold snaps.

Wine, in France, is built into the fabric of the culture. The many variety of grapes across the wine growing regions indigenously grow and adapt to the precise climate conditions of the region for centuries. Winemakers know the growth stages intimately: the look of the vines before they bud; the look of the vines as they mature over long seasons; and the fat, sugary, fragrant curve of the grapes when they’re ready to be made into wine.

That harvest point is crucial. Too long on the vine and the grapes have too much sugar in them, meaning the wine will be more alcoholic—not the subtle feel most winemakers in the region care for. Too long, and the acids that give wine some of its feel in the mouth may disintegrate. Not long enough, and they might not have developed the right balance of fragrant chemicals that give the wine its characteristic flavours.

Winemakers keep careful track of harvest dates, with some regions have records stretching back to the Middle Ages. In the 1800s, scientists and historians realised that those careful records could be used to keep track of how the climate in different parts of Europe has changed over time.

Grape harvest date records are the longest records of phenology in Europe. There are hundreds of years of records of what the summer temp was like, and we can use them like a thermometer.

Grape harvest dates reflect the temperature the grapes have felt over the course of the growing season, from about April until they’re picked. If the spring and summer are hot, the grapes mature faster and need to be picked sooner. If they're cool, the opposite is true.

Climate historians started to pull together ancient information from other sources, too. They matched up the patterns in the grape harvest data with records made from tree rings and the length of glaciers in the Alps. They used records like those to figure out that much of central Europe warmed up during the Medieval Warm Period, from around 900 to 1300. It had cooled down during the Little Ice Age, from about the 15th to the 19th centuries.

The historians saw that over the past few hundred years, temperatures wobbled around, skewing warm for short stretches and cooling down in others. But overall, climate rocked up and down around a fairly consistent average value - until recently.

Wine is first and foremost an agricultural product. The grapes used to make it are grown and harvested with intent to be fermented. This means that wine production is vulnerable to the effects of climate change from the tangible health of vines to the taste and quality of the finished bottling they create. So for this reason, all winemakers see themselves as being on the front line to see what happens with the weather, with the climate. The fluctuations we have today are more significant than any time before.

If you don’t believe any of this or think wine producers are exaggerating the dangers, then taste your wine the next time you open a bottle. The chances are it has a high alcohol content. This is no accident. Because of the changes in temperature world wide, the alcohol content of wines has bumped up from about 12% in the 1970s to about 14% today. Of course that number varies from region to region and is also due to the wine maker’s preference. But a large part of it is because grapes are maturing faster in the heat. The more sugar they accumulate, the more of it is converted to alcohol during the winemaking process.

Warming has also caused the boundaries of viable growing area to swell. Typically, successful vineyards have been found between 30 and 50 degrees latitude. But as global average temperatures continue to climb, the most ideal areas to plant are moving farther from the equator. Now, areas as far up as the island of Föhr and Stargarder Land in Mecklenburg, at the tip-top of Germany, are legally permitted to produce table wines. Belgium, whose vinous history has been overshadowed by its beer culture, quadrupled production between 2006 and 2018; it’s forecasted to become a champion, alongside Finland, Sweden and other boreal climes. Shockingly, even England has also successfully entered the modern fine wine scene.

With better wine from regions we know and new wine from previously uncharted areas, it may appear the wine world is becoming better off. In truth, however, this is a thin silver lining to ever-worsening viticultural challenges.

If the growing season becomes too hot, fruit will push through its life cycle too quickly and characteristics like tannins and anthocyanins, the compounds responsible for giving grape skins their colour, won’t develop properly. Muted acid and increased alcohol levels are also possible and often undesirable.

Variations between daytime and nighttime temperatures are in jeopardy as well. In warmer growing regions, that difference can be crucial to achieving freshness and encouraging certain flavour and aroma development.

Intense heat or too much direct sunlight can lead to dried fruit notes or create flabby and dull wines. Fruit that’s left too long on the vine can be damaged from sunburn or may simply shrivel. Vines may just shut down to protect themselves.

This is already happening in some places. Wine growers in northern Italy have already seen sunburnt crops with increasing frequency. The summer of 2019 in Southern Australia was the hottest since national records began in 1910, and it ushered in an 8% loss of white wine varieties, with Chardonnay dropping 12% to its lowest yield in the past five years. Growers in Priorat, Spain, reported devastating vine damage, scorched leaves and desiccated grapes when temperatures shot up to a record 107.6˚F.

Climate change is complicated, however, and, even though temperature is the most influential factor in overall growth and productivity of wine grapes, there’s more than rising mercury to think about.

Winter, and all of its prescriptions, is one of those other things. We typically talk about warming, yet, freezes during the winter or extreme frost in the spring don’t go away. They may become less frequent, but potentially more severe. A decrease in regular winter frosts may also encourage the spread of pests and insect-borne diseases that would normally die off during cold seasons.

Moisture is pivotal. Too much rain approaching or during harvest can lead to watery grapes and a weak vintage. Similar to mild winters, damp, soggy and humid conditions open the door to a variety of pests, fungi, mildew and disease pressures.

All of these intricacies and others work in conjunction with temperature to dictate what vines can successfully grow where and for how long—and all are increasingly unpredictable or totally upended in the face of climate change.

The people who grow, make and sell wine are tuned in to these nuances.

A greater number of producers are rethinking canopy management, vine trellising or pruning techniques, developing cover crops and extensive shading methods, increasing vineyard biodiversity and finding ways to reuse water.

Still, there are some challenges that cannot be overcome.

In the future, I expect growers to struggle with maintaining varieties in certain regions without major interventions. If they don’t make major changes, wine producers will see declining yields - already seen in Europe - and declining quality as the varieties become increasingly mismatched to the climate.

Producers have begun grafting new rootstocks and experimenting with different grapes. In South Africa, Vinpro, aided tests of drought-resistant varieties including Assyrtico and Marselan, for example. Australian producers have tried Italian grapes like Fiano, Vermentino and Nero d’Avola that thrive in warmer settings.

In Old World regions, where grapes and blends may be prescribed by law, the idea of swapping plantings is monumental.

Bordeaux is one such place, and, at a 2019 General Assembly meeting, it finally relented. The Union of Bordeaux AOC and Bordeaux Supérieur winemakers unanimously approved a list of seven “varieties of interest for adapting to climate change”: Arinarnoa, Castets, Marselan, Touriga Nacional, Alvarinho, Liliorila and Petit Manseng.

The approval of these new plantings signals just how committed the region is to preserving the future of fine wine.

Each of the various tactics being implemented worldwide take lots of time, tests and research. Some experienced wine producers think it would take about 21 years to change course because of how long it takes to plant vines, grow grapes, and then create and age a wine; finding sustainable farming practices for a plot takes trial and error.

Further, the methods being devised now may not be applicable down the road. Though there are several models in use to try and predict changes, they are attempting to track a nonlinear problem that’s dependent on a range of forthcoming scenarios.

Basically, the only thing we do know for certain is that it will get warmer, and that we may be able to anticipate that heat before it hits us.We have to be asking what we can do now to preserve the integrity of the grapes and vineyards we work with and look for where our opportunities are to continue making wine. The one line that works for everyone is to cut carbon emissions, that is the emergency action that needs to be taken.

We’re all starting to see this and we’re all affected. We know we can’t turn it backwards, and we’re not even sure we can slow it down. But we have to try.

Think on all this the next time you take a sip of wine.

#wine #vineyard #frost #climate change #environment #economic disaster #harvest #france #bordeaux #bourgogne #champagne #weather #wine business #personal #personal pics #family

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grailfinders · 3 years

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Fate and Phantasms #104: Geronimo

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making FGO’s best (by default) Native American servant, Geronimo! He’s a skilled tracker and summoner, but still finds the time to be able to gut people with daggers and arrows. Good for him, it’s nice to have hobbies.

Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy

Race and Background

Geronimo’s a variant human, giving him +1 Wisdom and Dexterity, Survival proficiency, and the Weapon Master feat. That last bit gives him an extra +1 Dexterity, plus proficiency with four extra weapons of your choice, as long as they’re simple or martial. (Not entirely sure what that leaves out, to be honest.) Definitely pick up some bows though, we won’t be able to get those from your classes.

You’re a medicine man, but the closest we’ve got for backgrounds is Acolyte, so we’ll make due. This gives you proficiency in Insight and Religion.

Ability Scores

Your Wisdom should be as high as possible. You track, you notice things, and you cast spells. That’s all wisdom. After that is Intelligence. Nature’s an Int skill for some reason, and you’re pretty smart in general. After that is Dexterity; you’re good with knives and bows, that’s all dex. Also-like many servants, calling what you normally wear light armor would be a generous statement. Your Constitution isn’t bad, you survive getting stabbed pretty well. Your Strength is a little low, but you don’t really need it that much. Finally, dump Charisma. It’s not that you’re unlikeable, you’re just not the kind of guy who takes center stage.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: You’re going to be a druid eventually, but rogues get more skills and you’re pretty skilled so...

First level rogues get proficiency with Dexterity and Intelligence saves, as well as four rogue skills. Grab Stealth, Perception, Intimidation and Investigation. You can sneak up on people, track them down, and scare the crap out of them. Not necessarily in that order.

You also get Expertise in Stealth and Survival, doubling your proficiency bonus with those skills. You can also make a Sneak Attack while using finesse or ranged weapons, gaining extra damage when you attack creatures you have advantage over or are distracted by other enemies.

You also learn how to speak Thieves’ Cant. It’s a language.

2. Druid 1: Bouncing over to druid learns you some Druidic, as well as how to cast and prepare Spells, based on your Wisdom. You get Guidance and Thunderclap as your cantrips, but like most casters you’re pretty flexible when it comes to your other spells. Since you can prepare spells each day I’m not even going to bother bringing them up in text unless they’re absolutely vital to the build.

As a rule of thumb, healing, tracking, or Things That Could Feasibly Be Done Without Magic spells are a solid pick, but you are a caster, so feel free to go nuts.

3. Druid 2: Second level druids join a druid circle, and the circle of the Shepherd will help you summon totem spirits and support your party. You can use Wild Shape twice per short rest, turning into a beast of cr 1/4 or lower that can’t fly or swim as an action. You can’t cast spells as an animal, but you can concentrate on them. Alternatively, you can spend a wild shape use to find a Wild Companion, effectively casting Find Familiar without a spell slot. In this case, the familiar only lasts a number of hours equal to your druid level.

As a shepherd, you learn the Speech of the Woods, learning Sylvan and gaining the ability to talk to animals. You can also summon a Spirit Totem as a bonus action once per short rest, creating a spirit with a 30′ aura for a minute. Spirits fit into three categories- while they come with animals already attached, you can feel free to flavor them however you see fit. The bear spirit gives creatures of your choice in its aura temporary hp and advantage on strength checks and saves. The hawk spirit lets you use your reaction to grant advantage on an attack against creatures in the aura, and giving you and your allies advantage on perception checks while in its aura. Finally, the unicorn spirit grants advantage on all checks to detect creatures within the aura, and using healing spells inside or outside the aura also heals all creatures within the aura a number of hit points equal to your druid level.

4. Rogue 2: Now that we have one subclass, let’s grab another. First, you have to get a Cunning Action, letting you dash, disengage, or hide as a bonus action.

5. Rogue 3: Again, trying to avoid beating around the bush here; you’re a Scout, getting the peanut butter of ranger all up in rogue’s chocolate. Scouts are Skrimishers, allowing you to react when a creature ends its turn within 5′ of you to move half your speed without provoking attacks. You’re also a Survivalist, doubling your proficiency bonus in Nature and Survival, as well as making you proficient in both skills. This and expertise are not exclusive, so have fun with that +12 to tracking.

You also have the optional feature Steady Aim, spending all your movement as a bonus action to gain advantage on your next attack.

6. Rogue 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Dexterity for a better AC and better attacks.

7. Druid 3: Third level druids get second level spells. Enhance Ability replicates your entire skillset with a single spell, giving advantage to all of a creature’s ability checks in one category. You can also use Moonbeam now, a (literal) pale reflection of your noble phantasm.

8. Druid 4: If you’re still eager to break character despite your alternative uses for wild shape, Wild Shape Improvement lets you transform into beasts of CR 1/2 or lower, and swimming creatures are now on the table. You also get another ASI, so bump up your Wisdom for stronger spells and better tracking.

You also get a new cantrip, Druidcraft is just plain useful, and you’ll be able to ruin your DM’s attempts at making things more dramatic on the fly.

9. Rogue 5: Fifth level rogues get an Uncanny Dodge, using their reaction to halve the damage from a single attack. Armor isn’t really your thing, so any kind of damage mitigation is a smart move.

10. Rogue 6: Use your second round of expertise to improve your Perception and Intimidation. You’re scary, and good at being a lookout.

11. Rogue 7: Your Evasion means that you’re now really good at dexterity saves; failed saves deal half damage, successful ones deal none.

12. Druid 5: Fifth level druids get third level spells. Not much else is happening here.

13. Druid 6: Shepherd druids are Mighty Summoners, giving your summoned beasts and fey more HP and magical attacks for overcoming resistances. You’re summoning the guardian spirit of your people, they should be better than the average coyote.

14. Druid 7: Congrats on the fourth level spells! Moving on.

15. Rogue 8: Use this ASI to bump your Dexterity up even further to be the sneakiest and stabbiest you can be.

16. Rogue 9: Ninth level scouts get Superior Mobility, giving you an extra 10 feet of movement. This can also be applied to your swimming and climbing speeds, which you won’t have unless you wild shape.

17. Druid 8: Eighth level druids get one last Wild Shape Improvement, increasing your max CR to 1 and removing all other limitations on your wild shape. You also get one last ASI, so bump up your Constitution for a bit more health.

18. Druid 9: Level 5 spells, nice.

19. Druid 10: Remember how I said in the last shepherd feature that you’re summoning the guardian spirit of your people? Now you’re actually doing that. When you summon a Guardian Spirit, summoned beasts and fey that end their turn in the totem’s aura regain half your druid level in HP.

You also get one last cantrip. Gust will help break up any cloud-based hazards you have to deal with, and hide your skywriting.

20. Druid 11: Our final level gets you level 6 spells, and we actually have one to talk about this time! You finally get Sunbeam to fully complete your noble phantasm.

Pros:

Your high stealth and animal army makes it very easy to sneak around in combat. Set up your own distraction, pick off enemies with sneak attacks, and the rare few who notice you will still have to eat a dozen attacks of opportunity if they try to go after you.

Survivalist and Expertise stacking is just silly, quadrupling your survival proficiency. We didn’t stick around rogue long enough for Reliable Talent, but a +28 to tracking is good enough that it doesn’t matter. If something physically exists, you’ll probably be able to track it down.

Mixing Wild Shape with a rogue’s damage avoiding abilities makes you really hard to kill, especially if the enemy’s distracted by your pets.

Cons:

Mixing in rogue gave you some solid weapon attacks, but it also removed your higher level spells. This means you miss out on stuff like Planeshift and True Ressurection. Shooting people really hard is nice, but it might not outweigh the cost here.

Defensively Rogue/Druid mixing is fine, but it’s not as great on offense. Wild Shape and Sneak Attack do not mix at all.

Summoning spells and your Noble Phantasms (Sun/Moonbeam) are both concentration spells. Unless you wild shape, your constitution isn’t that great, plus you’ll have to pick and choose what you’re doing.

#Fate Grand Order #Geronimo #D&D 5e #FGO #Fate and Phantasms

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x0401x · 4 years

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Jeweler Richard Web Short Story

Deviated a little from the usual translations to deliver a short story from Tsujimura Nanako’s official site for Seigi’s birthday. The fandom is kind of a mess right now, so here’s a bit of lighthearted content (and also to celebrate the release of volume 10′s digital copy).

Raw version here. Please consider supporting the creators by purchasing digital copies of the official releases: Novel || Manga || Fanbook

(Quick explanation before-hand, to spare confusion: there’s a mention of Fukuzawa Yukichi in this story. He’s a historical figure whose face is printed on 10,000-yen notes.)

Biography Series of Ramen-Specialized Natakaya ―Case of the Storm-and-Stress Pudding―

My name is Nakata Seigi. I’m the owner of Nakataya, a commonplace ramen shop that you can find anywhere. I run the shop in a certain part of a certain rural town. At Nakataya, the costumers choose their ramen’s stock, and no matter what anybody says, I recommend the soy sauce one. Tonkotsu is also popular lately. Our neighbor on the right side is the English pub “Jeff & Harry”, and on the left is the Sri Lankan restaurant “Genie in the Lamp”, so there’s crowding during the lunch break period of nearby companies, but most of the customers are regulars.

The regulars always said that my ramen was delicious and ate it all. That made me extremely happy. But, if it was possible, I wanted to meet a new costumer for the first time in a while. It could even be someone who would strictly reprove me for drifting about so complacently.

Just as I was thinking this, selfish of me as might be, it happened. The shadow of a person I didn’t know passed through the red split curtains of the Nakataya.

“Welcome!”

“Pardon the intrusion.”

It was a man with a neat silhouette. His blue eyes were like a piece of ice floe that had flowed from a northern country, sparkling brightly as they reflected me. His golden hair formed fluffy waves. His brown leather boots glistened. He wore gray slacks over a white shirt that shone a beautiful white, to the point it could make one say it was a bit too much for visiting a ramen shop.

I always had my heart racing a little when meeting new costumers. With my chest throbbing, I smiled at the novel guest. “What can I get you?”

“...ing.”

I hadn’t been able to hear it well, so I leaned my body over the counter.

The customer was standing upright at a distance of about two steps away, looking at me straightforwardly. And so, he said, “Pudding, please.”

“Pudding?”

“Yes.”

Had I heard it wrong, I pondered.

However, he repeated once more with a clear voice, “Pudding, please.”

“A pudding.”

“Yes.”

“Please wait a moment.”

Pudding. Pudding, in a ramen shop. I wondered if he had mistaken the establishment. Maybe for the English pub next door, which had a blueberry and brandy sauce pudding in its daytime menu. Just for the heck of it, I checked with him, saying this was a ramen shop. But he didn’t budge. Pudding. With an unyielding will, this stunning person sought a pudding from me. He was asking the owner of Nakataya for a pudding.

I see. This is determination. I accept that resolve of his. The only thing I can do is make him a pudding.

“Please wait a bit.”

“All right.”

The possessor of a Caucasian beauty sat gracefully on the counter’s stool, like a silver fox spirit curling up its tail and lying down. It was a waiting posture. He didn’t playfully peek at his smartphone or move around unnecessarily. I intuitively sensed that this man was the real deal.

Thankfully, there were no other customers in Nakataya yet. There was still time until the busy noon hours. And as I recalled, I had a memory from the distant, distant past, of eating a delicious pudding made by my mother.

Thanks, Hiromi. You doing well?

The ingredients were eggs and sugar. All I needed was a cup-like vessel.

I made the caramel. Produced the pudding mixture. Poured it into the cup. Then cooked it at low heat, borrowing hot water from the equipment that I used for boiling the noodles.

Sure enough, the pudding was done. With nipping sounds, yellow confectionery landed on a saucer.

“Sorry for the wait. Here’s the pudding.”

“Thank you.” From the counter, he stealthily took the pudding and the spoon.

He ate it.

Grasping the spoon with his right hand and bending it into a comfortable angle, he held the pudding’s saucer with his left hand, which seemed to accompany the action. Even though the tableware looked prone to making clinking sounds, it didn’t produce a single noise. He aimed purely for my pudding.

You had to be like that when eating something, I perceived.

I had never met anyone who ate pudding as earnest and wholeheartedly as this man. That was to be expected. After all, I was the owner of a ramen shop. I seldom saw people eating pudding. But I could tell.

He was my shop’s savior.

I swallowed my saliva with a gulp and asked gently, “How was it?”

“Absolutely superb.” He grinned, stood up straight and took out his wallet, leaving a fee on top of the old register.

It wasn’t the price of a pudding. Our ramen was 400 yen per bowl.

“Thank you for the meal.”

As he took his leave, what he left behind was a 1000-yen note.

From that day onward, he came by daily. Always during a time when there was no one else around. And he would say with his cool voice, “Pudding, please.” When saying so, he would sit at the counter. Always on the second seat from right to left.

From the other side of the counter, I would reply, “Roger!” And then, I would make a pudding for him.

Ever since that time, I had studied. While devoting myself to the way of ramen on one hand, I also analyzed puddings from many angles, such as what a tasty pudding was like, what it took to please someone with a pudding, what types of pudding were both delicious and good for the health and what pudding was from a metaphysical viewpoint. A cook should never neglect the pursuit for knowledge.

“Nakata-kun, aren’t your goals kinda weird lately?” the younger brother of the next-door pub’s owner had asked, making a dubious face at me, but that wasn’t the case at all. If I only thought about ramen, I wouldn’t be able to run a ramen shop. Frankly speaking, the fact that this person had showed up when I was thinking that I needed a breakthrough must have been, yes, destiny.

This road was going to lead me in the right direction. The direction I should go. This pudding customer was just like a Polar Star for me.

The amount of money that he would leave changed from day to day. He never cut off from the 1000-yen notes, which I was nothing but grateful for, considering the cost price, and they linked miraculously with the results I had estimated each time, so that was as expected of him. He was clearly a pudding pro. I couldn’t imagine just how many places I would have to go through to develop a palate like that.

Which was why honing my skills was worth it.

Today’s pudding was a bit different from the usual. Perhaps a sign of this had been transmitted to him too, as the gorgeous guest raised his eyebrows only a little higher than normal and looked at me. Could he notice it? Could he? Not just the taste of the pudding, but also this sense of presence?

Putting my utmost feelings into it, I placed it on the counter. “Here you go. Pudding in a bowl.”

What I had laid there was a ramen bowl. It was a simple white one, bearing the characters for “Nakataya” in red. The inside was completely filled with a yellow pudding. Depending on what you thought of it, that quantity might well be fitting for torture. I was the only one who had to know just how many egg yolks and how much sugar I put in it. But I was fully aware that this man didn’t love pudding with a half-hearted resolution.

He accepted the bowl with a cool facial expression, letting show a delight that might have been there or not. His movements were very natural, as if he were merely receiving a ramen with a tiny bit more toppings than usual.

“I shall be having it.”

“Go ahead.”

I tried to offer a Chinese spoon instead of an ordinary one, but the man stopped me with a hand. Of course, I had already anticipated as much and made the arrangements. As I promptly gave him the usual silver spoon, the man grinned.

This person’s smile was extremely beautiful. It was like a white flower blooming at the break of dawn.

With unwavering hand movements, he steadily thrust the spoon into the pudding bowl. A heap of pudding appeared on top of the spoon. It seemed to have about the same amount as a cup-sized pudding. And like magic, he nimbly swallowed it in one bite. Holding my breath, I saw the scene through.

A spoonful. Another spoonful. Yet another spoonful.

Just as always, with unfaltering hand motions, he proceeded to eat a pudding that had about ten times more volume than usual at a steady pace. Of course, he also didn’t leave any of the caramel accumulated at the bottom of the bowl. He held the bowl with his two hands, as if drinking up to the last drop of a ramen, and like a hero having a high-grade victory sake, he drank the caramel in one go with a gulp.

Once he set the bowl on the counter and softly wiped his mouth, he quietly looked at my face. Without realizing, I had been clutching the hem of my apron with both hands.

“How was it?”

“You have finally mastered the way of it.”

“Then that means...!”

He nodded as if extremely satisfied, small lips forming a broad smile like a sculpture of an angel. Taking his wallet from his pocket, he tried to present Fukuzawa Yukichi to me, but I stopped him with a hand. I had been receiving too much until now. And I had already gained plenty of something bigger than money from him.

He must have realized that too. Putting the banknote back into his pocket, he chuckled with a whiff. “This is the supreme fine item that I had been seeking.”

“That’s great. Hum, just who are you...?”

“My name is Richard.”

“Richard”. I wondered why. It was my first time hearing it, yet it sounded somewhat nostalgic.

Having eaten the pudding so delightfully, Richard-shi crinkled his blue eyes slightly and laughed with a snort. “To think you had been hiding a skill of this level. I am impressed.”

“Same here; how can I thank you for not turning your back on my abilities?”

“I pray that this pudding will be a significant step towards the path of your cooking.” He reached a hand to me across the counter.

I frantically wiped my hands on the apron, gripping his hand back. It was a moving scene. I would probably continue to pursue the way of ramen. Meanwhile, I would be making puddings for this person – for Richard. I had that presentiment.

And then...

“Here he is! Ricky, what’re you doing?”

The one who had barged in like a storm was Jeffrey-san from the pub next door. Flustered, he strangled Richard, who sat composed on the stool. Richard’s expression didn’t change even at a time like this. He was game.

“Nakata-kun, I’m so sorry. This is our cousin who came from Hong Kong because we asked for assistance. Geez, Ricky, we were thinking something was off ‘cause you never showed up even though we properly told you where the pub was. You can’t take advantage of Nakata-kun just because he’s nice! Well, Nakata-kun, we’ll come over again with Henry to eat shoyu ramen. Adieu!”

As if dragging a large suitcase, Jeffrey forced his cousin along and left. When disappearing on the other side of the split curtains that hung at the exit, Richard smiled faintly as if to say, “Farewell, then”. I smiled back too. Things like “No, it isn’t the time to be putting on airs like that. What’s the meaning of this, slacking off even though you were asked to help with the pub and ordering pudding from the next-door shop?”��weren’t important. I wasn’t thinking about that. Because, for me, polishing my skills was what mattered. Still, that guy’s love for pudding was trouble.

Hm? “That guy’s”?

I rubbed my eyes.

Does that mean Richard? Speaking of which, his face when he ate my pudding for the first time was like that of a surprised child, and—and then—

I woke up.

My name is Nakata Seigi. I’m an university student who attends Kasaba University.

What was that? That Nakataya thing? Although just for a little while, I had been living the life of a ramen shop owner. But pudding. Pudding at a ramen shop.

He was an unbending man even inside a dream, I thought as I checked my phone, which rested next to my pillow. 10:00 PM. It seemed I had dozed off while lying on my bed as I reviewed a textbook. He probably wouldn’t get mad at me if I called him now.

The line connected after three dial tones. Richard. His cool voice as he asked if something had happened was making me feel somewhat pained right now.

“Richard, hum.”

“Yes.”

“Would you... be even a little bit happy if I said that I was gonna make... a whole ramen bowl of pudding?”

The response was a dangerous “Haah?”. That was when I shook off the remains of the dream.

“Hm-hm, it’s nothing. Don’t mind me. It’s fine, really. Yep. Yep. Well, then.”

Honestly, what was I doing? This man was a royal milk tea and pudding extremist. A significant change in size would also affect the taste and texture. Logically thinking, there was no way he would be pleased with something like that. I knew that.

But the dream version of me probably wanted to see Richard’s face of delight, and I now wound up taking it seriously.

“My bad, my bad. I’ll make it in the usual proper size and with the same old taste.”

For a moment, he pressed me about why on Earth I had suddenly talked about that, but I escaped it by beating around the bush. Because I could see that he would tell me not to call him while I was still half-asleep. I couldn’t bring myself to take much of his time either.

As I was about to hang up with a “well, that was really all, so see ya”, Richard said lastly with a voice that sounded purposeful, “Aah, right, right. Your birthday is coming up soon. Make sure to think about what you want to get.”

Aah. Now that he had mentioned, it was May. I used not to think much of birthdays in the past, but maybe because of a thankful increase in the number of people I had to celebrate it with, I also became conscious of and started thinking about it.

He was trying to fool me with non-committal words like “aah, right, right”, but he must have had it properly memorized since long ago. We had a bond where I could tell as much. I was very happy that we had been able to build such a relationship. That was why, rather than things like “I wanna get this” or “I wanna go to this place”, the wish I wanted to make come true might have been something along the lines of, “I want a tiny memory”.

“It’d be great if we could go eat ramen together one day.”

“Yes, that is true.”

Eh?

Before I could think that an idiot like me had heard it wrong, the call ended. Richard. That Richard. Could it be he had just given the OK to go eat ramen with me? That Richard, who was just like a heaven-sent child of gemstones and Ginza.

“Haha!”

I tossed my phone onto the bed, rolling onto my back and flapping my limbs. It was the Nakata’s dance of joy. Holy shit. That came from an unexpected place.

Thank you, version of me who was the owner of Nakataya.

Ramen with Richard. For the moment, I didn’t know any better birthday present.

Author note: happy birthday, Nakata Seigi-kun. Just like a certain someone, let me also gently watch over you gradually growing up healthy and comfortably.

#housekishou richard shi no nazo kantei #the case files of jeweler richard #jeweler richard #richard ranashinha de vulpian #nakata seigi #jeffrey claremont #henry claremont #tsujimura nanako #web short stories #my translation #richard

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urban-homesteading · 3 years

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Making Money from a Mini Farm: A Series

Selling fertilized eggs

Step one: Chose what you are going to sell

If you are selling fertilized eggs, then all you need is a flock of hens and the appropriate number of roosters. But non pure bred eggs will bring a very low price and you might only be able to sell small numbers of these eggs. It is much better to chose a breed of chickens and then keep only those in your flock. Although you could always keep more than one breed, that would necessitate confining your chickens, which is not something I recommend.

Rarer breeds and colors will bring more money. Shipping eggs is pricey, so you will need chickens rare enough to make it worth it for your buyer.

Step two: The legalities

Your flock must be certified by the National Poultry Improvement Plan for you to legally ship hatching eggs. Most states also require a health permit as well as pullorum and typhoid testing. Talk with your county extension agent or your state’s NPIP representative to find out what you need. There are hefty fines for illegal egg peddling, so don’t omit this step!

Step three: Marketing

If you don’t want to deal with the hassle of shipping, sell locally. Pin notices on bulletin boards at veterinary offices and feed and farm-supply stores, and take out classified ads either in newspapers or online—such as Craigslist (Facebook often does not allow the sale of any animals).

If you’re willing to ship eggs, list them at online poultry auctions, such as EggBid, FeatherAuction.com and Rare Breed Auctions. You can also sell eggs at eBay and Amazon. There are several hatching egg groups at Facebook worth investigating, as well. While you’re there, run a search for Facebook groups devoted to the breeds you’re selling. Join and find people interested in buying.

When you place ads, be very explicit about what you’re selling. Point out how many eggs you’ll send. Eggs are usually sold in groups of 6, 8, 10, 12, 24 or 36. You can also include extra eggs to offset any eggs damaged during shipping. Including extras at the rate of one extra per six eggs ordered is a good idea: Seasoned buyers expect it, and it promotes good will. If you don’t plan to send extras, say so.

Hatching eggs are normally sold without guarantee. Even if you send fresh, fertile eggs, they can easily be damaged during shipping or your buyer may not incubate them correctly. Buyers usually expect a 40 to 80 percent hatch from shipped eggs.

Step three: Gathering your precious cargo

Washing eggs removes their protective bloom, so keep them clean by lining nest boxes with plenty of bedding, changing it as often as needed and collecting eggs several times a day. Carry eggs gently to the house. A towel-lined basket is good for this. Sort the eggs and store the ones you’ll sell as hatching eggs large-end-up in a clean, closed carton between 55 to 70 degrees F and at roughly 75 percent humidity.

You’ll need a hygrometer to make sure your room’s humidity reading is in or near the ballpark. Pick one up at a drugstore or online, and follow the instructions. It’ll show your room’s humidity level as a percentage. Boost the humidity, if necessary, by placing a small bowl of water beside the carton. Elevate one end of the carton by slipping a book or block of wood under it. The following day, move the book to the other end, alternating ends until you ship the eggs. This keeps the yolks from sticking to one side of their shells.

When sorting, set aside well-shaped, average-sized eggs as hatching eggs. Avoid large eggs that might be double-yolkers—these rarely hatch—and unusually small eggs, as they tend to produce small, weak chicks. Remove any with bumped, wrinkled or otherwise flawed shells and any with hairline cracks. A tiny amount of soiling is usually acceptable, but it’s better to send clean eggs. Remember not to wash them, though! You can use a soft bristle tooth brush to gently brush at any crusted dirt, but only give a couple of swipes as to protect the bloom.

Step four: Shipping

Once you’ve sold your eggs, package them carefully and don’t skimp on wrapping material. Many shippers favor bubble wrap and shredded paper. They carefully wrap each egg in bubble wrap, leaving the ends open for air circulation, then pack them in a mailing carton with lots of shredded paper cushioning in between.

Eggs can be packed in any type of cardboard carton large enough to allow for plenty of cushioning material, but it’s hard to beat flat-rate priority boxes from the U.S. Postal Service, which ship to any state at any weight at a fixed price. They’re sturdy, free and sized exactly right for most shipments. A medium-size box is great for up to 15 eggs and costs about $14 to mail; the large flat-rate box holds up to two dozen and ships for about $19.

It never hurts to package incubating instructions in every package. Shipped eggs should be rested for 24 hours at room temperature before being placed in an incubator or under a broody hen. A good way to handle this step is to print copies of a university-generated bulletin about incubating chicken eggs and tuck one in each box.

The USPS is the only carrier that ships hatching eggs, so plan to mail your package via priority rate or, if the buyer chooses to pay extra for shipping, overnight mail. Write “Fragile—Hatching Eggs” somewhere on the carton and also “Do Not X-Ray,” as the postal X-ray machine’s rays could affect the hatchability rate. Ask your buyer if he or she wants the post office to hold the eggs for pickup rather than exposing them to a bumpy ride in the carrier’s delivery vehicle; if so, mark the carton, “Hold for Pick-up: Call (your buyer’s phone number).”

Contact your buyer to let him or her know the package is on its way and provide the tracking number from your priority mail receipt. Ask them to contact you when the eggs arrive and again after they hatch.

#chicken #hen #chick #rooster #chickens #hens #roosters #chicks #hobby farms #farming #livestock #mini farm

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compoundgrowth · 2 years

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Buying a Car in 2021

What should be a simple "coming of age" experience, seems to have gotten worse and worse over the years (in the UK). Those who are starting jobs and need a car in the coming months will have a few routes to go down. Buy new... said nobody ever, unless you come from a family where that type of money is readily available. Even then I don't think this should ever be an option, it's almost guaranteed you're going to bump a wall or take out a drain-pipe (or two) when parking. Doing this with an older car is fine, but with a new car? Probably not. The second route is leasing, not only do you have all the issues of a new car, you don't even get to keep the thing after your term (in some cases you can purchase the vehicle). Leases are ridiculously expensive; £150-£170 per month is on the low end of things, with an initial rental fee of £1,600+, any damage to the vehicle you'll be charged for massively. At least if you scrape your brand new car you can choose to ignore it or fix it yourself, with a lease car, not an option. So that leaves one final avenue, buying on the used market.

I've been using sites like AutoTrader to try and find local deals, but at the moment, the asking prices are extremely high! Not only that but the "warranties" on these are just ridiculous. A one month warranty on a something that costs £2,000+ is just astonishingly terrible, in most cases this won't even cover the entire car, just the engine and transmission. It feels like dealers are just trying to make a quick buck, see if they can sell off something they know is destined for the scrap or auction. So what can you do? If you are in the market for purchasing a second-hand car, I highly recommend carcheck.co.uk. It tells you the MOT history of vehicles and can sometime be telling if the vehicle has passed a "questionable" MOT. Take this 2004 Jaguar X-type (not a typical second-hand car, but many other 04 plates are this price; fords, golfs, etc...) for example:

The price isn't extortionate, however when we use carcheck.co.uk to check the MOT history, we see some not-so inspiring information. To name a few; "Offside Rear Outer Suspension component mounting prescribed area excessively corroded significantly reducing structural strength Sill (5.3.6 (a) (i))". The car was sold five days after this MOT, in which there's no possible chance the list of red which contains many significant failures was fixed, and they have the audacity to provide a one-month warranty.

So what can we learn from this? The second hand car market in its current state is difficult for buyers of any kind, with one month warranties on cars that should probably be sold for scrap or go to auction for a much lower price. Websites like carcheck.co.uk help prevent against making a mistake such as the now-owner of this vehicle, whom will be very upset once that one-month warranty window is over. Make sure you get your car-to-be inspected before purchasing, whether that's by a family friend who knows a thing or two, or a garage. Best of luck to everyone trying to purchase a car in this market, hopefully there was some useful information in this alongside my ranting that helps you in your purchasing decisions.

#writing #cars #buying a car #car #buying #motorvehicle #advice #carcheckup #secondhandmarket #good advice #note to self #helpful #united kingdom #britian #cash for cars #automobile #jaguar #vehicle

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raleighliving · 3 years

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Budget Living Raleigh

Living in any city you’re gonna look at higher costs of living. Rent, utilities, and insurance all add up before you even factor in groceries. But just because you’re living in the city doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have nice things.

If you find all your money is being eaten by rent, and your bed is supported by the ground itself, then this article is for you; cause we’re going to talk today about bargain hunting in Raleigh and what to look for when you want a good deal on good furniture. Maybe I’ll do this again for groceries or other such things but for now we’re just focused on general niceties.

Best part of this is it’s gonna be fairly general too. Anything I mention here you could probably find or do in any American city or small town since the institutions are fairly ubiquitous.

If you find yourself lacking furniture, decorations, or just general quality of life enhancers my answer boils down to two main points: Thrifting and Resale stores. At times they can seem similar enough but there are fine differences that separate the two using fairly recognizable criteria.

“RL,” I hear you say between fistfuls of knockoff Cheetos and self-loathing, “Of course if you want bargains you go thrifting! Did you JUST hear about Goodwill recently?”

Yes, in terms of hot takes this is especially dull but what I can lend to the conversation isn’t about how prices at thrift organizations are cheaper than retailers, how you should support your local thrift organizations, or even the general good they provide to low-income communities; what I’m looking at is knowing what you have and what you can expect to find when visiting.

Take Goodwill, for instance, since everyone has seen at least one in their life. Outside of their larger outlets where you’ll find more furniture, walk into any Raleigh Goodwill and you’ll have seen all of them. 90% of the floorspace is dedicated to cheap clothes with a backwall full of knickknacks and a small bookshelf. If you’re lucky, there may even be a sofa or two and some paintings along the wall but most of what you’ll find is cheap clothes.

Now, if that’s what you’re looking for that’s great! However, I’ve grown to have a deep distaste for the homogeneity of local GCF stores. Customers can donate their clothes, toys, and other items to GCF at any store locations; but those items are shipped to processing and then distributed to other GCFs across the country based on inventory need and sales patterns. What you see in one donation center/store you’ll likely see in every other with maybe the odd rare find if you’re lucky.

GCF aside your options for Raleigh include org thrifts, mom and pop stores, and discount thrifts to provide some much needed variety in your day-to-day shopping. Each with their pros and cons, yet all sharing the glorious benefit of providing furniture and clothing for a fraction of the price of bigger brand stores.

Org thrifts (short for organization thrift stores, creative I know) are exactly what they sound like. Thrifts run by an organization or charity, similar to Goodwill's, with a stated goal of helping others and supporting the organization financially over seeking a profit margin.

Cause 4 Paws, Raleigh/Durham Rescue mission, and Dorcas thrift stores all provide a wide variety of products while using the store proceeds to help the less fortunate; but with phenomenal prices. It’s not uncommon for a thrift store run by one of these organizations to have fifty cent books, clothing sold by the pound, and furniture/power tools under the $40 price tag if you’re lucky. Plus, not to sound like a broken record but, your proceeds go towards good causes like animal adoption and feeding the homeless.

Most thrifts of this nature are run by religious organizations, so if you’re at odds with supporting that sort of thing you might be more interested in the other two options; but otherwise this type of thrift store typically comes with very few downsides.

|Image Credit: Dorcas Thrift on Nextdoor

Of course, one of those other options is the standard mom and pop operation. Not linked to any specific organization or franchise, these tend to be small businesses run by local families serving a smaller radius.

Prices as a result tend to be a little higher than your average thrift store since it’s, y’know, a business; and the selection can be a little below average, usually consisting largely of estate sale leftovers, but this also works to their favor.

There’s no central distribution center for these businesses, so what people sell/donate to these stores comes from nearby communities typically. So if you find one near an upper class area like Honeycutt Rd or Ebeneezer Church Rd, they’ll typically have nice furniture, art, and electronics for thrift store prices.

There’s not too many of these, but my personal favorite is Fabulous Affordable Treasures in Southwest Raleigh. A decent assortment of clothes and decorative pieces (and a very relaxing general environment) makes it a positive visit even when I’m just browsing.

|Image credit: Affordable Treasures Facebook

Finally there’s Discount thrifts. They’re not too common, and are usually supported by an organization additionally although not all are, but if you find one check back with them regularly because it’s almost guaranteed to be worth it.

These thrift stores operate by having a degrading price scale; setting prices when the object comes into inventory, and then lowering them based on how long its been with them or the condition it was received in.

Stores like Habitat for Humanity ReStore and Petersons Consigning Design use this, and typically offer discounts upwards of 60% if you wait long enough. On top of having equally large selections of product from org thrifts, they offer plenty for the savvy shopper.

The downside is, the best possible price you can receive for any given product is a gamble. That sweet leather armchair you have your eye on might be dropped from 40% to 50% in the next two days, but if someone finds the price acceptable where it is then that products gone forever (or at least until something similar winds up in inventory).

|Image Credit: Petersons Consigning Design website

Regardless of which thrift store you choose though, you’re bound to find a bargain in one eventually if you check back every once in awhile. I’ve only mentioned a fraction of the stores available in Raleigh, if you find a few favorites of your own and check back regularly, you’re bound to find something you’ll love at a price you couldn’t find anywhere else.

Of course, if you’re looking for more niche deals you could always use programs like Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist for people just looking to get rid of their junk. They’re easy to use and both are incredibly active for the Raleigh area; but if you’re looking for something a little more...interesting then I’d recommend checking out liquidation stores.

There’s not many of them in Raleigh, but recently this past week a store by the name of Treasure Hunt Liquidation opened up with an interesting premise. They buy tons of returned and opened merchandise from places like Amazon and sell them to other people on a degrading price scale similar to the thrift stores we mentioned above.

Fridays the price-per-item is $10, and then day by day it drops till it hits $1 per item on the following Wednesdays (and they close Thursdays for inventory). large bins full of boxed or repackaged goods line the floor with everything from car parts to 3D printing filaments depending on when you can get there.

Additionally, you can purchase pallets of goods as well; with some of the more high ticket items ranging from $300 up to $1500; but generally containing some of the more desirable items like bikes and kitchen equipment.

Overall, the whole experience is like a giant rotating lootbox; you’re never quite sure what you’re gonna get when you go but you’re likely to find something that at least catches your eye, even if it doesn’t come home with you.

|Image Credit: Treasure Hunt Liquidation facebook group

You can’t find everything you’ll ever need at stores like these, but you’ll definitely be able to find affordable furniture and clothes even on a college student’s budget. Even a few dollars saved can make a huge difference though, so if you get the chance or see a store on the side of the road that catches your eye, be sure to at least stop in and see what they have for sale.

Or, if you’ve read this and have some books/clothes/toys to donate please consider donating or selling them to your local thrift location. These secondhand finds can make all the difference in the world to a kid who wouldn’t be able to get them otherwise. Regardless, hopefully at the very least this article kept you entertained, and I hope everyone reading has a great day!

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optimisticobjectpeace · 3 years

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what is vermicomposting

Vermicomposting or worm composting turns kitchen scraps into rich soil that smells and feels like earth. It is almost entirely made of worm castings and it is a kind of super compost. It's rich in nutrients and contains the microorganisms necessary to create and maintain healthy soil. Clemson University Extension lists these benefits in their article about worm composting.

Provides nutrients for the soil

Increases soil's ability hold nutrients in plant-available forms

Improves soil structure

Improves the drainage and aeration of clay soils.

Sand soils have a higher water retention capacity.

provides numerous beneficial bacteria

Vermicompost can be used to top-dress the most deserving and demanding plants, as it is usually only made in small quantities. It can be mixed with regular compost to give garden soil a boost. It can be mixed with potting soil to give plants a boost. Properly made vermicompost is mildly scented and suitable for indoor use.

vermicompost bed for vermicompost process

It's easy to turn table scraps into valuable vermicompost bed when you have the right supplies and worm bins. Planet Natural offers everything you need: worms and a container, as well as books to help you get started. Let's get rotten!

A worm bin generally requires little maintenance. Worms can be a low-maintenance household friend. They do not need to be fed daily, make no noise and only require their bins to be cleaned once every three to six month. These worms can be a great learning opportunity for children. They not only teach them biology, but also provide an environment lesson. It's not just good for the plants to compost with worms. It is also beneficial for the environment. It helps keep food waste and organic material out our trash and reduces the need for landfills. It's no surprise that it is encouraged by the state, county, or city municipalities who handle waste disposal and its costs in dollars as well as environmental damage. Spokane, Washington provides information (PDF) on worm composting to encourage residents to try it. Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada has a page on City Farmer News. It not only provides a how-to video but also provides worm bins for residents. You can even call the hotline to get composting information. California also has an interactive animated game that teaches vermicomposting basics and benefits. It's called The Adventures of Vermibed the Worm.

You will need to have worms, a container and bedding, in addition to the readily available kitchen scraps. Planet Natural has all you need for starting a composting garden.

Your family's kitchen waste will determine the size of your worm container and how many you can use. Keep track of how many suitable wastes you produce for at least a week to determine the size of your vermicomposting system.

vermicompost process

While "A worm, a worm, and a worm are a worm," may be a good summary of your thoughts, not all worms are created equal. You shouldn't use your garden-variety night creepers. To survive, they must worm their way through dirt and not eat organic waste. Many of the smaller worms that are found in your garden are not suitable. Lumbricus terrestris is the most common. L. terrestris, which is also adaptable, is a deep-soil dweller, while vermicomposting worms are litter-dwellers who do not require or want to dig more than a few feet.

Eisenia foetida worms are needed for composting. Also known as red wigglers or brandling worms, they can be found in the genus Eisenia foetida. E. foetida can eat up to its entire weight in garbage per day, will reproduce rapidly, and will survive many different feeding conditions. Composting bins will also be a good choice for Lumbricus rubellus, which are manure worms. You can be sure that your bin's worms will thrive and do the job you ask them to.

How many red wigglers do you need? Experts in vermiculture recommend a one to one ratio: one pound worms, roughly 1,000 worms to one pound garbage daily. Mary Appelhof is also the author of Worms Eat My Garbage. She recommends two pounds worth of worms per pound of garbage.

Another thing to remember is that worms multiply just like rabbits. It could be that worms multiply like rabbits! They can multiply every 90 days if they are given enough food and a home. It is possible to start slowly and get fewer worms that you need. The resulting worm population explosion can be overwhelming.

Bins

A good worm composting container is simple to use and highly efficient. There are many fine commercial bins that you can choose from.

The trays in a stacked worm box are used in succession. Each tray is placed on the next line after the previous one has filled up with compost. The trays are designed to allow worms to migrate up to the next level. Once they have finished with the current tray, they can take it out and empty it. Then, the new one can be placed at the top of each stack. It doesn't attract worms if it is empty. Worms will only move in if there is food waste.

Homemade bins

It is possible to make simple bins from wood or plastic. Because worms don't like light, it is important that the material is opaque. It is not necessary to have a tight fitting lid. Worms aren't likely to escape their quarters. Tight fitting lids cut-off ventilation. However, it is essential to have some kind of cover to protect from the sun and keep out moisture.

The size of your bin will depend on how many worms you have and how much garbage you want to recycle. There are a few structural rules that apply to all. First, worms need more floor space than they do head room. Commercial bins that appear tall are usually made up of multiple shallow trays, stacked on top one another. A bin that is only 12-18 inches (30-40cm) in depth should be sufficient for a single room. Drainage and ventilation are essential. These plans (PDF), are for a functional wooden bin made by the folks at Seattle Tilth. You can find more general ideas for bins, such as using a plastic storage container as a bin on this University of Nebraska Extension page.

Because worms are sensitive to light and noise, they often prefer a corner of the basement. They can survive in temperatures of 55-77 degrees F (13deg-25degC). Most basements will be suitable. It is possible to keep worms bins outdoors during summer, provided they are kept in shade. There are many ways to keep a bin of worms in your kitchen or living room. Bins can also be taken inside to keep warm during winter months in colder areas.

Bedding

#1 WORM BEDDING

Coconut Coir Brick

Coir Bricks

Alternative to peat that is more eco-friendly ProCoir can hold 8-9 times its weight of water.

$4.95

You will need to provide the right bedding for your worms. It should take up about one-third to one half of your bin. Remember that worms love water so their bedding should contain at least 75 percent water. You can make bedding from newspaper strips, shredded grocery bags, cardboard or egg cartons (no glossy papers), composted manure or old leaves, coconut cocoa coir or a combination of all of these materials. Make sure the material you use is safe for the worms. They will eat your table scraps as well as the bedding. You can use cardboard or paper to make your work easier. After separating the material into small pieces, wring them thoroughly. Bedding should be damp, but not wet.

Add a few handfuls of dirt and some crushed eggshells to half-fill the box. The dirt is roughage. You can also add a small amount of cornstarch or sand to the box. The eggshells are calcium. As you place the bedding in the bed, fluff it up. You need to provide a space for the worms to burrow. This will help keep insects and odors away.

Introduce the Worms

Once the bedding and bin are set, make a depression in the bedding and place the worms inside it. You can then leave the worms in the bedding with the lid closed or askew, and a low overhead light. They will burrow under the bedding if they are exposed to light. Allow the worms to adjust for at least a week before you feed them. Too soon and the food will rot and smell, which is not a good start for your new venture. Make sure you bury your food in the bedding, not just spread it on top. Leave them alone for at least a week. Then, check to see if they are eating, and adjust the quantities.

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