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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year

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Ok no let me explain you a thing.

I can't take it. I literally can't take this moment without making a sound somewhere in the back of my throat. It's the cutest thing ever and it's this frame here that makes it.

Look, I know this is Wan. I know Wan isn't really canon and this is the preschool episode so it's even less so. But there's something in here that is an absolutely canon thing Akutagawa does.

The scene starts off with Akutagawa's typical reverence and excitement that Dazai is sitting near him. Nothing particularly notable there. But then Dazai gets excited by what's going on and Akutagawa gives him this look and I just can't take it man.

Because that's a genuinely fond look. He's happy for him. He's happy Dazai is enjoying himself.

And that's not just a Wan thing. He says along those lines to Kyouka in one of my all-time favourite BSD scenes in general.

It just. I just have a lot of feelings about that. This is a guy who, we know from Heartless Cur and the beginning of Beast, has very little in the way of emotion - but when he does feel, it's rather all-encompassing, even overwhelmingly strong. Things like rage and desperation. It's raw survival instinct.

But then he has. This too.

Here's the thing. In the preschool chapter, silly as it is, Dazai is still fixated on suicide. He has the noose, just doesn't speak about it openly. So, it's probably quite rare that Dazai shows genuine enjoyment the way he did here - and that's worth that small smile.

In the main universe, Akutagawa remembers how Kyouka hated herself to the point of asking to be killed, then sees how fierce she is about defending her new life and self, and decides that he's glad for her.

It really means something to me that one of the very few relational emotions he allows himself to feel is happiness and pride on others' behalf.

It roots itself less in compassion or happiness itself and more in a sense of respect... but remember that Akutagawa hardly gives his respect easily. He gives his respect only to those he considers strong, and in nearly every battle, he finds himself disappointed. What he wants is kind of contradictory - he wants a worthy opponent, so someone who poses a strong challenge to him to prove his own worth as one who will never be weak again... and yet, when they lose against him, he's often disappointed they did not succeed or fight harder, and looks down on them.

Atsushi's motive, or what he initially thinks his motive is, is disappointing to him at first - Akutagawa believes he is trying to prove himself as worthy of living through someone else's acceptance and berates him for it. But that's... exactly what he has been doing. Later on, he continues to question Atsushi for his motives, in yet another of one of my favourite scenes.

He asks him over and over - "why?" And is not satisfied until Atsushi reveals that he's also looking to get rid of the shadow of the orphanage director that follows him like a haunting - that trauma? All that pain thrown in his face? He is fighting to overcome it. He is fighting via proof and change because Atsushi wants to live, and to not have to feel ashamed of that. And that's what it took for Akutagawa to trust him and respect him enough to transfer Rashoumon to him.

I think, on some level, Akutagawa is invested in seeing whether Atsushi will succeed in this. And I think, in spite of everything between them, he will be glad for him if he does.

I just really love this aspect to his character, because while he searches for strength in violence and power and physical skill, it means on a deeper level, he actually sees joy and resistance in the face of despair as true strength that's worth acknowledging.

I want him so badly to accept that as true strength within himself in the main timeline.

I also love it because Beast confirms that Akutagawa would do anything for his sister and I am now free to imagine Gin telling her brother all the things she was learning and how she was slowly connecting to the Black Lizard and feeling overwhelming pride for her but not really expressing that but Gin knowing that's how he felt regardless, anyways that is all

Is this even coherent anymore? Oh well.

#me making an analysis that reads too much into wan number 28746837 #sorry but it drives me crazy and i needed to spew #bsd #bsd meta #...i guess.#bsd akutagawa #bsd dazai #bsd kyouka #bsd atsushi #bsd gin #storyrambles

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gettinshiggywithit · 1 year

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!Celebrating your birthday with the BSD boys!

(this is part 1)(pt2{tmrw})(pt3{Wednesday})

scenario:- its your birthday and you're celebrating with the bsd bois!

pairings:- dazai x gn!reader,kunikida x gn!reader, ranpo x gn!reader

Genre:- fluff

Type:- headcannons

↪️Dazai Osamu

I feel like dazai would open with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOURE NOW ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DYING A NATURAL DEATH”

*proceeds to throw around double suicide ideas*

But jokes aside,if you’re not that thrilled at the prospect of aging (and honestly valid) he’ll definitely hype you up.

Like this man CANNOT take a compliment to save his life

But DAM can he dish em out

Probably has a full day of fun activities planned

But if you’re more an introverted and indoor person hed organise a full fun day for just the two of you at his place,movies,presents,couple-y stuff;The Whole SheBang!

Thered definitely be some dangerous activities in there

But hey! Its dazai, he probably knows what hes doin rightt???(spoiler:he doesnt)

The day ends with fireworks (whether by like using actual ones or junichiros light snow ability,we may never know)

And he tells you that theres no one else he’d rather go out as beautifully as the fireworks with~

↪️Kunikida Doppo

Has a DETAILED schedule for your day

Ofc it consist of stuff that he KNOWS you’ll love

If you’re kinda down abt the fact you’re gettin older he’ll just tell you that it’s inevitable and that it is nothing to be worried about

If be sees that that didnt help,(buddy come on) he says that time seems to have frozen for you and that you look as beautiful as the day you met

(WAN tachihara voice:WHATS THIS???? A COMPLIMENT FROM KUNIKIDA??????)

Also when you guys cut a cake at the agency,he gives you a book-shaped package and asks you to open it in private

It was a book of poems, he’d been writing them since the day you first met.and lemme tell you,theyre sweeter and sappier than anyone would ever think him capable of writing

When you thank him for it he just kinda shrugs it off but you can CLEARLY see the blush creeping up his face and can hear the lil crack in his voice

Also uses doppo poet to make you a smol bouquet of your fave flowers

Could he have bought em from a shop? Yes. But did he wanna woo you? Also yes.

What can i say,he’s surprisingly romantic

(Ps:- DO NOTT LET DAZAI GET HIS HANDS ON THAT BOOK OF POEMS!!)

↪️Edogawa Ranpo

Showers you with snacks

Literally AND figuratively

Also allows you to eat some of his(its your special day after all)

Gets you the most insightful and heartfelt gift but also something that you’ve wanted for a while

When you ask him how he knew youd wanted it,he launches into a huge explanation of how he used his special ability to analyse your body language and-yadayadayada

Please tell him ur impressed cos he loves hearin ur praises

Asks poe to write a birthday themed mystery and yall solve it together

(Ofc he doesnt out right asks,he just kinda dares poe that he cant write it...ranpo be ranpo-ing mann)

(But when poe finds out its for you he does it with even more determination than before!!{howww is that eveb possible???})

Karl also gives you a gift cos poe really likes you(you’re nice to him and say his stories are great) (future angst piece???)

Your day will end with a huge ass movie marathon

SOO MANY SNACKS

like u thought he gave u a lot in the beginning

But DAM boi is STOCKED

will feed you throughout the movie and cuddles you close

He just loves spendin this much time with you tbh🥺

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

Taglist open for anyone who wants!

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ashthemadwriter-archived · 2 years

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Chuuya Appreciation Club!

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Chuuya X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: Dom!Chuuya, Sub!reader, Some suggestive/NSFW shit under the cut, cussing done by me

Word Count: 1.6K

A/n: Head empty thinking about Nakahara fucking Chuuya

↳SFW

§ Ok I think we all believe that this guy is the best partner ever. I literally can never- NEVER see him as a yandere character and I always find yandere shit written for him ooc.

§ Chuuya can never be considered as a red flag. He is hella understanding, respects your boundaries af, will does his best to cheer you up if he catches the slightest sign of discomfort coming from you and last but definitely not least, his loyalty has no ends.

§ This guy has suffered a lot. You only need to read the novel "Storm Bringer" to get me. Like you have no idea what amount of patience he actually has. Sure, everyone considers him as short tempered and they aren't wrong, but the case is not the same all the time.

§ TBH this dude is a literal angel (of death). Have you guys watched the CD dramas? How he cares about Akutagawa and talks to him about Dazai, telling him to take care of his health properly so that he'll be able to work on gaining his tutor's acknowledgment. Or how he asked Kenji about Kyouka about whether she was alright in the agency. Chuuya hates betrayal, but still, that didn't stop him from caring about his underling, even though she was mafia's enemy now.

§ Have you... Have you seen that fucking body of his? 🚶🏻‍♀️IDK what to tell ya all this dude is flawless. His waist, those fucking abs of his, his hand, HIS COLARBONES HELP-

§ Caring and understanding af. Yeah he might not be like Dazai, reading people's mind in a glance, but he's no dumb either. At least he gives a fuck about how other people feel =| (Yeah fuck you Dazai lmao)

§ (I'm still a Dazai simp don't get me wrong but I'm just stating some real ass facts)

§ He's no yandere or sadist. He will cherish his S/o af, and I mean this. He will shower them in compliments, gifts, affection, anything he's able to do for you.

§ MATURE AF. He will never be in a relationship unless he knows he can make time for his S/o. If he's too caught up in mafia shit then he will try to ignore his feelings and might try to keep his distance from you, regardless of how painful it might be.

§ Reference to the wan ep where he was crying over a dog movie. He loves them so much but because he's always away from home he doesn't plan on getting one.

§ The most husband/boyfriend material of all the bsd boys. Like, you don't have to worry about him manipulating you, using you to get his way, or leaving you after he got tired. He's there for you all the time, unless you don't want him to be.

§ Have you seen the amount of responsibility this guy has? Just give him one task, and he will do his best to make everything perfect. Even when the task is cooking. He will do his best or might make his underlings to be in charge of the food but still-

§ Will never harm you. In anyway. He might snap out sometimes and say some mean stuff, but he'll be feeling like shit afterwards so prepare for a hell of an apology with whatever it takes for you to forgive him. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but at least he's actually sorry =|

§ Tbh I can't see him having a breeding kink cuz as I said, he doesn't see himself in place to be ready to get a pet, let alone become a father. But if that happened? He'll be there for you and the baby.

§ BEST DAD IN THE WORLD. Thought you gotta look out for the baby cuz they might be spoiled a bit too much.

§ Loves you with his life. All he thinks about throughout the day is when he'll get home and make himself comfortable in your arms. Likes to be in charge, but there are some times when he's softer than usual and if you bring it up, he won't deny you. After the first time, he will be the little spoon half of the time, cuz he needs it and you both gotta receive love equally, right?

§ CUDDLES. CUDDLES. CUDDLES.

§ Cuddles with this man is life. I mean please he smells so good T^T if I ever get my hands on him Imma stick to him like his personal Koala bear for the rest of my fucking life.

§ His hair omg his hair omg please😭😭😭 Caress it. Brush it. Inhale its scent. Wash it when you're in the bathtub with him. Tbh he will be jealous of how you're obsessed with his hair lmao, but who's he to complain? As long as he's receiving attention and care from you :>

NSFW Content under the cut fuck off minors. (I don't give a shit if you read it I was no better myself when I was younger just don't interact lmao)

↳NSFW

§ Where do you think this man's height went, huh? That's right! His penis! 🚶🏻‍♀️

§ MF is so big lmao. Your reaction when you see it for the first time is soooo satisfying to him. He'll smirk at how you're looking at it being shocked, scared and excited.

§ "What is it doll? Like what you see huh?" "Can I suck you off Chu?"

§ SUCK HIM OFF

§ PRETTIEST MANLIEST GROANS EVER.

§ The only thing slipping out of his mouth is low pitched moans and endless praises. I mean how can he not praise you? You look so pretty down there, bobbing your head up and down on his length while staring at him with your pretty eyes.

§ "Look at you doll- Fuck, How could I ever be this lucky to have a filthy angel like you by my side? S-shit! Calm down a bit princess! We have all night and I'm not going anywhere"

§ He loves brat taming. Having control over you while you're shivering from his slightest touch? He's in for it.

§ Likes degrading, but will never cross your boundaries. As I said, you're his princess and you gotta be treated like one, hm? It's not your fault that you're head over heels for his fat ass cock, we all are and nobody can blame you 🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️

§ Can we talk about his stamina please? ENDLESS. ENDLESS.

§ MF is strong af. Won't give up unless you reach at least three orgasms. Whether you want more after that or not, it's all up to you; but those three first orgasms are a must for this man.

§ King of aftercare. literally. Will do whatever, WHATEVER you ask him to. You're in the mood for food? will go out and buy you some. Care for a shower? You're in for it babe. Wanna chill in the bathtub with him? Oof! You might even have another round there. You just wanna get some sleep afterward? Help yourself! Rest your head on his arm and leans against his chest to hear his heartbeat getting faster and faster.

§ I think he would be into bondage. Your moans are the prettiest melody he's ever heard of, why not hear them a bit longer while enjoying the sight of you squirming under him?

§ But you're not gonna get yourself off completely tho. The only one who can make you come is him and only him. No man or toy has the right to do that except him.

§ IDT he would be into Heavy BDSM. Light spanking, blindfolding and tying you up is satisfying, but the rest is a no no. Doesn't like to see you in pain. If you're a masochist he might give you what you want, but the idea of hitting you isn't really arousing to him.

§ He will not get his way unless he hears you screaming his name. You have to moan ok? If you don't he's gonna feel like you're not enjoying this. He needs to hear you whimpering over how his cock is hitting your G-spot, how his fingers are running a marathon in your pussy or how his tongue is made for your swollen clit. If he catches you holding back your moans? Well, challenge accepted man. Will arouse you and arouse you until you're a crying mess. Crying of pleasure btw.

§ Speaking of his tongue on your clit...

§ FACE SITTING.

§ You have to come on his tongue at least once. I mean you look so pretty with your face all flushed up, desperately moving yourself on his tongue to get yourself off like a fucking whore, and your taste is more addicting than any kind of alcohol he's ever drank; you gotta give him at least one orgasm like this, right?

§ Say his name when reaching your orgasm and he will go feral.

§ His grp on your waist gets tighter and his pace faster than before, earning loud screams from you when thrusting into you through your orgasm. Likes to shut you up by kissing you, cuz your moans sound even hotter like that, silenced by his hungry lips.

§ Kissing is a must during the act. You're lips are never leaving each other unless you're in a position where your mouths are unable to make contact.

§ The man appreciates every inch of you, regardless of how your body shape is. Doesn't give a shit about looks tbh, as long as he loves you and you love him back, he's in for it :)

So yeah, let's worship the fuck outta this man together🚶🏻‍♀️

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daz4i · 7 months

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@mike-queerler hi hi i didn't wanna derail casino's post so! other instances of transgenderism in bsd (the original tag was partially a joke but these are stuff that certainly makes you go Hm):

kouyou and kyouka being based on male authors, yet being depicted as. well. girls (p sure that's where the common hc that kouyou is trans came from)

q, and that one wan chapter i unfortunately don't know how to find rn. i can't remember who it is but there's someone questioning if q is actually a boy, but it ends with smth along the lines of "when i saw how cute his face looked when he's happy, i stopped caring about whether he's a boy or not"

gin's whole Thing. like presenting as generally androgynous (at work at least) and not correcting anyone when they refer to her as "he" or call her a guy

these are just the most obvious i can think of tbh, not even getting into other androgynous characters (sigma is most obvious, tho fyodor, nikolai, kenji, chuuya are all characters I've seen confuse readers about their gender too) or dazai using gender neutral language etc (bc that's more a homage to irl dazai's writing. still, not gonna stop me from being insane abt nb dazai) and other smaller things that are easier to brush off hehe

also, this one's I'm certain is accidental, but aya and her dad's thing about how she's a failure at being a woman is so. both transmasc and transfem pain. and that last chapter where she talks abt how she never wanted to be an ideal woman but wanted to be like him! is! while not great! even more of a transmasc thing imo

and ofc chuuya being a short guy who speaks in an excessively masculine manner, doesn't remember his childhood + that more angry once a month joke. and his story is all about questioning your own identity due to the people around you - your family especially, or at least people who claim to be your family and that they know what's best for you - insisting you are something that you're certain you aren't, and you have to stick with it and keep believing in it to make it through and truly be yourself, and generally coming to terms with your identity, can be very easily read as a trans allegory as well

tldr: transgenderism. fuck yeah 🔥 if asagiri did even one of these things on purpose then well. i think that'd be really cool 😌 but even on accident it's still p fun!

#there might be other stuff i don't remember rn too!!! feel free to add more guys 😌🖤#and i hope this post isn't too overwhelming hehe :P

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growling · 2 days

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anyway. bsd wan time

ep1 + ep2: (as grouped by aniwatchtv.to as i see there are actually 3 episodes for each separate. does this make sense)

ep1:

bungou stray dogs real:

holy shshsiiit i can't believe it its th. the stray dog............

its the stray dogs we've been hearing so much about...................

DOG CHUUYA he's so fucking tiny...... stop doing this to him 5'3 is average height he is taller than me 5'3 is average height *keeps repeating myself over and over clutching my knees rocking back and forth*

ruffshoumon........ doppo pawet......

"kunikida's abili- dammit, arfbility- creates whatever he writes in his doppo pawet notebook. alas, dogs cannot write"

beast beneath the hydrant.......

kitty :3

special arfbility no longer hooman

oh it's the human guys again. hello atsushi. kys dazai.

whats inside the locker:

dazai i need you burned alive

though i hate him slightly less in this style <3 makes me forget he's a jackass <3 this is a subject to change depending on whether he interacts with any women in these

"he's gonna banish it to the darkness"

the onii-sama one made my heart stop functioning until i fucking died. i am now speaking to you from the restricted area.

RANPO!!!!

i am having so much fun right now. engaging in whimsy.

an unfruitful exchange:

PORT MAFIA SPOTTED

CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE IS NOT SMALL!!!!!! STOP CALLING HIM THESE TERRIBLE THINGS HE IS NOT THAT TINY HE IS AVERAGE HEIGHT CHUUYA IS AVERAGE HEIGHT HE IS TALLER THAN ME HE'S AVERAGE HEIGHT AND TALLER THAN ME I AM ALSO AVERAGE HEIGHT HE IS TALLER THAN ME HE I 5'3 IS NOT SHORT IT IS AV

Tachihara lines this is more screentime than he ever had in every single prior season. who is this mysterious entity anyway

ep2:

let's go flower gazing:

kyouka spotted

CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

port mafia silly momence. they deserve it sometimes

chuuya lightweight lore

akutagawa is yearning rn

i never said this before but unfortunately (for akutagawa) i ship him with dazai in a toxic fucked up unsafe insane nonconsensual age gap trashfire way. from the literal moment we saw them in the season 2 early episodes flashback. maybe they can feed me today

chuuya passed out..... its so unfortunate i am not present in his vicinity at the very moment and cannot take advantage of his vulnerable state. i mean i mean its very fortunate thats so good for her jsut jokinh haha....

STOP POKING THEM. DAZAI KYS!!!!!!!!!

get the incest siblings out my screen

wan! shorts:

chuuya wild beast instict. lets keep them that way forever

to the baths:

ranpo <3

why are you stopping him huh..... youre just jealous of his infinite joyful whimsy and thats why you actively just hate to see him living his best life..... i hc him to have autism, adhd, AND npd you know......... this is literally so disgustingly ableist and hateful towards him

kunikida you hopeless man.

DAZAI STOP FUCKING HUMPING HIM WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY IS IT ANIMATED SO FLUIDLY

holy ffuck sskk bath when <- no hope left for me anymore

CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!

Chuuya is accurate representation on how its like to be the short guy. im not saying she is, i mean 5'3 is average height, heh, just, you know....

he's minor-coded

jumpscare. atsushi's dreams post-s2

higuchi. stop. stop :|

she has stopped <3

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i-eat-mold · 8 months

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Idk if this has been said yet but

I was reading some of Dazai Osamu’s shorter stories (the ones he published in magazines etc) and I came across this:

(Note: this is a personal translation, I have not been able to find an English version of this story)

“In the end, men are not like fireworks, who end their short lives with large and beautiful explosions before the eyes of thousands of people”

-Dazai Osamu, “Flower Lantern” (1939)

Which unsurprisingly reminded me of this episode of the BSD Wan:

“When I go, I’d like to go just as beautifully”

But yeah. No idea que whether Asagiri intended this, but I thought it was interesting. I am also aware that Dazai wrote a short story called “Fireworks” (I believe), which might be the one referenced there. But I have not read that one yet and I really don’t know much about it.

Or maybe this is all completely unrelated and I need to go touch some grass

#I really need to touch some grass #reading this man’s work breaks my heart in so many pieces like #I know he was kind of an ass #and I don’t really like the anime version of him #but BOY does he make me feel things #osamu dazai #port mafia dazai #sokouku #writers #literature #BSD #irl dazai osamu

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animated-enbys · 2 years

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Masterlist of Non-binary Characters (in-progress)

‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐

Color Guide:

Canonically Non-binary | Unknown Gender | Genderless | NB-coded or Headcanoned

‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐

Types of Media Formats:

‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐

Raine Whispers

Media Format: Cartoon

Title: The Owl House

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically confirmed to be non-binary; uses the pronouns they/them.

Crona

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Soul Eater

Gender: None

Notes: Creator couldn't decide whether to make Crona male or female, and then just never bothered to choose. Japanese doesn't use pronouns like English does and so it is easy to just always refer to a character by their name and avoid gendering them. Early translations just made assumptions on their gender, but modern translations use gender neutral they/them pronouns when referring to Crona.

Hange Zoë

Media Format: Anime / Manga / Live Action

Title: Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyōjin

Gender: None

Notes: Creator has not given a gender for Hange and specifically directed translators to refer to them gender-neutrally only. Early translations made the mistake of referring to Hange with feminine pronouns, and the Creator actually went through the effort of having them go back and correct it.

Double Trouble

Media Format: Cartoon

Title: She-ra

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically confirmed to be non-binary and voiced by Jacob Tobia (they/them). Canonically uses them/them pronouns. In the original version of the show they were a woman, but they were changed to non-binary for the remake.

Asuka Yuu

Media Format: Anime

Title: Stars Align / Hoshiai no Sora

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically confirmed non-binary! Also the only anime character I know that has actually called themself non-binary.

Nathan Seymour aka Fire Emblem

Media Format: Anime

Title: Tiger & Bunny

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Have to review, but Nathan is portrayed as NB-coded and uses the Japanese personal pronouns "watashi" (gender neutral) and "atashi" (feminine casual).

*The pronouns are more complicated than that, but I'm simplifying it.

Yumeno Kyūsaku, aka "Q"

Media Format: Anime / Manga / LN

Title: Bungō Stray Dogs

Gender: Unknown

Notes: Their gender is never clarified in canon, but in a chapter of BSD: Wan other characters attempt to figure out Q's gender only for their plan to be foiled when Q chooses to use the "Multi Purpose Toilet" (for elderly, children, and babies) instead of either of the gendered ones.

Kino

Media Format: Anime / Manga / LN / VN

Title: Kino's Journey / Kino no Tabi

Gender: NB-coded

Notes: I haven't watched/read any of this series, but to my understanding they spend most of the series as "unknown" gender only to eventually be "revealed" as female. They are very androgynous in appearance and are fine with being perceived as such.

Fujioka Haruhi

Media Format: Anime / Manga / LA

Title: Ouran High School Host Club

Gender: NB-coded

Notes: Canonically they are female however they are shown to not care much about their gender or gender presentation. During their first appearance they are mistaken for a male and then proceed to spend most of the series crossdressing and pretending to be a boy, and yet are totally unbothered by this.

Envy

Media Format: Anime / Manga / LA

Title: Fullmetal Alchemist / FMA Brotherhood

Gender: Genderless

Notes: Although frequently referred to by fans as he/him, Envy's gender is technically never mentioned in canon. Supposedly, the guidebook actually lists them as non-binary or genderless, but I've yet to be able to find a source for that. They are able to shapeshift into people irregardless of gender, and their preferred form is described as androgynous/genderless.

Rimuru Tempest

Media Format: Anime / Manga / LN

Title: Reincarnated as a Slime / Slime datta

Gender: Agender

Notes: Originally a human male, Rimuru was reincarnated as a Slime in another world. While Rimuru has the ability to transform into a human or animal form, Slimes have no gender and thus no matter what species Rimuru transforms into, their body will always be genderless. Fans will usually either refer to Rimuru as he/him or they/them.

Media Format: LN / Anime / Manga

Tsubakino Tasuku

Media Format: Manga / Anime

Title: Wind Breaker

Gender: Unknown / Transfemme

Notes: Their gender identity is never officially stated, however they are AMAB and transfeminine. At one point they do apparently refer to themself as a 'big sister', but it's important to note that Japanese does not have a gender neutral term to address an older or younger sibling with; The closest is kyōdai which technically actually means brother(s) but can also be used for mixed gender siblings, though it's still not really something that you would address someone with, and rather more something to use when talking about them in the third person, for example.

Inukashi

Title: No. 6

Gender: Unknown

Notes: Their gender is never clarified and other characters are canonically unsure of it.

Tachibana Hotaru

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title:

Gender:

Notes:

Tenjou Utena

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Revolutionary Girl Utena

Gender: NB-coded

Notes: A girl whose dream is become a prince, Utena has masculine hobbies/interests, a princess love interest, and eventually cuts their hair short enough that they are mistaken for a guy.

Asra Alnazar

Media Format: Visual Novel

Title: The Arcana

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically confirmed to be Non-binary; uses he/him pronouns.

August Willenheim

Media Format: Video Game

Title:

Gender:

Notes:

Chara

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Undertale

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically uses they/them pronouns.

Kris

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Deltarune

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically uses they/them pronouns.

Frisk

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Undertale

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically uses they/them pronouns.

Napstablook

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Undertale

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically uses they/them pronouns.

The Knight

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Hollow Knight

Gender: Genderless

Notes: All of the "vessels" in Hollow Knight are canonically genderless.

Zer0

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Borderlands 2

Gender: Unknown

Notes: Is frequently referred to with he/him pronouns in-game, but their actual gender and pronouns — along with basically everything else about them — is canonically unknown.

FL4K

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Borderlands 3

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically non-binary, Fl4k uses they/them pronouns.

Boogiepop

Media Format: LN / Anime / Manga / LA

Title: Boogiepop series

Gender: Unknown

Notes: Boogiepop is described as having an ambiguous appearance and voice, and seeming both masculine and feminine at the same time; their actual gender, if they have one, is unknown.

Lake

Media Format: Cartoon

Title: Infinity Train

Gender: NB-coded

Notes: Canonically female, many fans perceive Lake as being strongly non-binary coded.

Thirteen

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Boku no Hero Academia / My Hero Academia

Gender: Unknown (past); Female (current)

Notes: For most of the series' run Thirteen's gender was unknown. Due to the presence of two canonically trans characters in the same series, and the fact that the creator intentionally avoided stating Thirteen's gender, Thirteen was long believed to be non-binary. Now that the character has been "revealed" as female, fans continue to headcanon them as non-binary.

Frankie Stein

Media Format: LA

Title: Monster High: The Movie

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Character was originally female but was changed to non-binary in the Live Action adaptation, where they were portrayed by Ceci Balagot (he/they). I chose to include them in this list because, while they are technically only non-binary in the live action movie, they are still at heart an animated character.

Testament

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Guilty Gear

Gender: Agender

Notes: Canonically confirmed to be Agender (musei) and in the past, androgynous/bigender (ryōsei).

*Both musei and ryōsei are categories under the X-gender umbrella; X-gender is the term for the Japanese equivalent of non-binary.

Akiyama Mizuki

Media Format: Video Game / VN

Title: Vocaloid / Colorful Stage / Project Sekai

Gender: Unknown

Notes: Their gender identity is currently unknown and highly debated amongst fans. To my knowledge, they are believed to be AMAB and transfem. I believe they were originally mistakenly referred to as she/her in translations, but that was corrected in what I've seen referred to as the "pronoun purge" when the translators realized Mizuki's gender was actually unconfirmed.

Inga

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Un-Go

Gender: Genderfluid

Notes: Inga sometimes appears as a young male, and sometimes as an adult woman. Neither of these are Inga's own true form, but Inga seems to like using both. In actuality, Inga may not actually have a gender. If they do, it is currently unknown. But in practice they tend to swap between male and female, so they could be classified as genderfluid.

Piccolo Jr.

Media Format: Anime / Manga / LA

Title: Dragon Ball, Dragonball Z, Dragonball Super

Gender: Agender

Notes: Piccolo comes from an alien race that reproduces asexually via eggs. Members of this species appear masculine and are typically refered to using he/him pronouns, however concepts of gender do not appear to exist on their home planet, Namek.

Orochimaru

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Naruto / Shippuden / Boruto

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Originally only NB-coded, a conversation between them and their son in the sequel series, Boruto, is seen as confirmation that they are non-binary. In the conversation, their son asks them if they are his mother or father, and Orochimaru replies, "There have been times when I was a man, and times, a woman ... Outside appearances don't matter. The will to uncover all truth ... That is the core of my being."

Sapphire

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Princess Knight

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Sapphire is described as having been born with "a blue boy heart and a pink girl heart". I've also seen them described as having the body of a girl and the mind of a boy.

Osana Najimi

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Komi-san can't Communicate

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: While they are never directly stated to be non-binary, they are described to be of ambiguous or unknown gender.

Francois

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Dr Stone

Gender: Unknown

Notes: They are androgynous in appearance, and the creator has intentionally chosen not to identify their gender.

Mogumo Ryuunosuke

Media Format: Manga

Title: Love Me for How I Am

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically identifies as non-binary!

Asher

Media Format: Cartoon

Title: Kipo and the Wonderbeast

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically confirmed to be non-binary and uses they/them pronouns.

Kazi

Media Format: Cartoon

Title: The Dragon Prince

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically confirmed to be non-binary and uses they/them pronouns.

Angel José

Media Format: Cartoon

Title: Craig of the Creek

Gender: Agender

Notes: Canonically uses they/them pronouns.

Jess Chambers / Kid Quick

Media Format: Comics

Title: Generations Shattered #1

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically confirmed to be non-binary and use they/them pronouns.

Goh

Media Format: Anime

Title: Pokémon Journeys: The Series

Gender: Androgynous

Notes: Canonically male, but was intentionally designed to appear androgynous.

Blanche

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Pokémon Go

Gender: Unknown

Notes: While they were never canonically stated to be non-binary, Blanche's gender has never been clarified and they have been solely referred to using they/them pronouns in all translations.

Stevonnie

Media Format: Cartoon

Title: Steven Universe / SU Future

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Canonically stated to be non-binary and intersex. They are a "fusion" of two people, Steven and Connie, and use the pronouns they/them.

Shep

Media Format: Cartoon

Title: Steven Universe Future

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: They appear as a minor guest character, the romantic partner of Sadie Miller (she/her). They are canonically non-binary and use they/them pronouns.

Bloodhound

Media Format: Video Game

Title: Apex Legends

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Bloodhound has been canonically confirmed to be non-binary.

Tenou Haruka aka Sailor Uranus

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Sailor Moon

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: Haruka has been canonically described as "both male and female" and the creator of Sailor Moon has confessed to drawing them differently depending on whether they're currently wearing masculine or feminine clothing.

Entire Cast of Houseki no Kuni / Land of the Lustrous

Media Format: Manga / Anime

Title: Houseki no Kuni / Land of the Lustrous

Gender: Agender

Notes: All characters in this series are genderless.

Neferpitou

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Hunter × Hunter

Gender: Unknown

Notes: Their gender has never been confirmed and is highly debated amongst H×H fans.

Radical Ed, aka Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV

Media Format: Anime / Manga / LA

Title: Cowboy Bebop

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: While only NB-coded in the original anime and manga, they are officially confirmed as non-binary in the Live Action TV show where they are played by non-binary actor, Eden Perkins.

Finn

Media Format: Cartoon

Title: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Gender: Non-binary

Notes: While canonically non-binary, Finn never actually appears in the show. They are the future child of the main couple and were only ever shown in sketches/concept art.

Ranma

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: Ranma 1/2

Gender: Genderfluid

Notes: A cisgender male, Ranma falls into a magic hot spring and is cursed to transform into a girl any time he is touched by hot water; subsequently, cold water turns him back into a male. While effectively genderfluid, Ranma is unhappy with his curse and would rather be rid of it and simply remain male all of the time.

Fushi

Media Format: Anime / Manga

Title: To Your Eternity / Fumetsu no Anata e

Gender: Genderless/Genderfluid

Notes: As an orb, they do not technically have a gender. They are comfortable in both male and female forms and do not hesitate to swap between them, however they have at one point stated that they feel a bit more like a guy due to their most commonly used default form being male.

Other names to be added:

Hänsel and Gretel - Black Lagoon

Kurapika - H×H

Kalluto Zoldyck - H×H

Dareka-san - Our Dreams at Dusk

BMO - Adventure Time

Mermaid Sisters - Carol and Tuesday

Desmond - Carol and Tuesday

Lady Oscar - The Rose of Versailles

Boy Meets Maria

Hinase Arima - The Gender of Mona Lisa

Seibetsu X

Nanachi - Made in Abyss

Nanashi - Samurai 8

‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐‐

This list is currently in-progress.

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wastageofbandages · 1 year

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What is Bungo Stray Dogs

TW: Suicide, Violence, Abuse/Trauma

Bungo Stray Dogs ("Literary Stray Dogs") is a Japanese Manga Series and also now has an anime. This series follows the members of the "Armed Detective Agency" as they try to protect Yokohama from the mafia. This show mainly focuses on the weretiger, Nakajima Atsushi who joins others with gifted supernatural powers to accomplish different tasks including running a business, solving mysteries, and carrying out missions assigned by the agency.

This is the summary I searched on Google, more specifically Wikipedia on what Bungo Stray Dogs is about. However, after watching this show and rewatching it, I had a different view of the entire show itself. The view I have now is from S1-S3, the manga which has not been completed and also BSD Wan.

❗This blog is also not spoiler free, so proceed at your own discretion.❗

When I first heard of this anime, what was only known to me was that the characters had supernatural natural abilities and the setting was mafia/detective.

After watching all three seasons, Hitori Auyumi, Dead Apple and Wan, this series shows that it’s capable of a little comedy, but mostly dark comedy due to Dazai’s constant jokes about suicide. It may not seem like it at first but there are hidden dark themes in the series.

Each of these characters has always been finding their purpose to live, starting with Atsushi’s background as the Orphanage Director always abusing Atsushi, calling him worthless, and lastly, throwing him out of the Orphanage. It was the one thing that reminded Atsushi that he should have never been born yet his determination of wanting to live.

Akutagawa’s purpose to live is quite simple, since he and his younger sister used to live in the slums, survival such as basic needs (water, food, a roof over their heads) was something they had to fight for. He had to fight for both his sister and himself for their survival, so naturally, his purpose to live is for his family. The rest of them have their own sense of purpose for wanting to live. (I’ll slowly make posts for them!!)

Not only have they been finding their purpose in life, but also have gone through their own trauma such as Atsushi’s past with the Orphanage Director, Yosano’s past with Mori (taken from the manga) with Mori emotionally abusing her, forcing her to heal war patients. Akutagawa has also received trauma from Dazai during Dazai’s Port Mafia Era or from the time Dazai took in Akutagawa till Dazai left the Port Mafia. Kyoka’s trauma is in relation to her own ability, Demon Snow, which was used forcefully to kill her own parents but given by her own mother before she died.

Every one of them has gone through some sort of their own traumatic past, their own personal sort of hell when they were younger and it has made them grow in some sort of mature way, making them more mature and sensible (maybe) in making decisions. They’ve also questioned themselves if what they do could give them a reason, or approve them of living. In that sense, each of them, at any point in their lives has questioned themselves whether they were worthy of living as human beings.

In that sense, each of them wants to have redemption in life, it can be any sort of redemption, character arc redemption, redeeming themselves of humanity at some certain point, or redeeming themselves of validation from the people they work with, their enemies, or even themselves.

In general, it’s an entire picture of what humans seek in life. Validation from others, gaining back their dignity as a human and getting accepted in society. When I first searched on google what does the title Bungo Stray Dogs means? Bungo means literature, hinting that each of these characters is based on dead authors, but most importantly, what does Stray Dogs mean?

The meaning of stray (on google) is something wandering around, something that is lost. Usually, the word stray is used on domestic animals such as cats or dogs, so when you see a domestic animal around your neighbourhood, it’s usually referred to as a stray cat or a stray dog. I don’t know if your parents say this, especially the moms (no offence but I’m sorry to use all the moms as references (mine included), but my mom would usually say, “Don’t touch it, you don’t know what sort of bacteria or disease that stray cat/dog has gotten on their fur or themselves.” It always reminded me of the time when I used to get bullied in middle school and my classmates would call me a disease. I got outcasted, thrown away, and out of society, the same as those stray cats/dogs that my mom would usually tell me.

Therefore, I believe that the two words, Stray Dogs in the title Bungo Stray Dogs, also mean that these characters are outcasts, they’re thrown far away from society. Maybe that’s the reason why they’re trying to find a purpose to live, a reason to get accepted into humanity, to prove their worth.

In general, this series is worth watching and reading. Due to the amount of dark theme, it may not be age-rated, the age rating is around 17 due to the matured and sensitive content. Watch and read at your own discretion, but definitely, it’s in my recommended anime list.

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd atsushi #bsd dazai #bsd mori #bsd kyoka #bsd yosano #bsd akutagawa #i need heeeeelp #please send help #broken and mended #bungou stray dogs

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note-boom · 2 years

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Getting Around Here...

All right, we’ve reached the point where I’ve been told I have 1000 posts on here, so I’m gonna make a navigation/what’s this blog about post so I don’t go insane...

What’s This Blog About?

Basically this started as a realization that I was saving way too many BSD-related links on the app I use to keep track of all my obsessions, reactions to things, etc. So I figured a Tumblr blog would be the solution, and now this is my archive of things I would usually just save as a link elsewhere (plus some thoughts of my own to spice it up a bit.)

Navigation Stuff

Now how do I tag things for future explorations?

Fandom Tags: #bsd, #bungo stray dogs, #bungou stray dogs (will be updated if I switch/tack on other fandoms)

Character Tags: In general, I just use [acronym] [character’s most used name]. Like #bsd atsushi. Sometimes, I use two like #bsd edgar allan poe/#bsd poe or #bsd gogol/#bsd nikolai gogol but only when I’m not sure what their most used name is. There’s also #bsd characters (for unnamed characters or just incorrect quotes) this one (when there are too many characters to tag) and group specific tags (armed detective agency, port mafia, bsd guild, soukoku, shin soukoku, there’s no naming consistency)

Meta Tags: #bsd musings (for literally anything that contemplates bsd) #bsd theories (for theories, specifically) #character analysis (metas about characters)

Specific Media Tags: #bsd official art, #manga things (anything that features the manga panels) #anime things (anything that features anime screenshots and the like) #light novel things (anything referring to the light novels) #stage play things (anything featuring stuff about the stage play) #bsd fanart, #bsd edits, #bsd gifset, #bsd fanfic. Of course, there will also be tags for the light novels specifically, which is usually just bsd [light novel name], and wan.

Additional Tags: #humor, #alternate universe, #crossover, #random fandom spamdom (generally fandom related either because of my tags or the post’s contents itself) #bsd fandom slander (mostly a subset of humor that lovingly slanders the characters) #not fandom spam (has nothing to do with the fandom specifically) #spitting nonsense (my posts) #rambling in the tags sorry (when I get a bit TOO carried away) #note re-reblogs (currently nonexistent but the time will come...i advise blocking this tag lest you wake up to find 50 posts rereblogged because I didn't want to queue them...)

Spoilers tags will be tagged bsd spoilers (for all of them), manga spoilers/bsd manga spoilers, and anime spoilers/bsd anime spoilers.

In (Rambly) Conclusion

Why am I writing this like a three-point thesis...ah never mind.

And that’s how I sort out my obsession with this stupid show. If any other piece of media seizes me by the throat like BSD has, then I’ll probably start posting about it here (but my fixations are usually short lived and thus onto main sideblog they go).

I tend to...ramble in the tags a lot, which I mildly feel bad for (there’s a reason why I generally just privately save things). So if you’re seeing this because I spam reblogged you and you wondered who in the world was crowding your notifs with tags, I’m sorry. I also try not to crawl out of the tags too much, though, just do so if they don’t fit my rambles (oops....)

I try and lessen the blow by slapping most everything on the queue (but I don’t tag what I queue, let there be CHAOS), so maybe that helps a bit?

That said, I DO love tags, so feel free to spam reblog whatever you want from here and comment-tag as much as you want...I LOVE seeing people say stuff (whether I agree or not, this IS just for fun). I don’t usually use the comment/reply section or the like button because I don’t actually do anything in my main blog (I just work off sideblogs, heh), so I’ll likely abuse the reblog button a lot or just hope my vibes of appreciation are psychically felt.

OH RIGHT!! Asks are always open. Feel free to scream at me about literally anything, ask anything, or share cool links and shiny stuff I can reblog/save (the last one especially because I am a magpie of fandom things). I generally have to be asked things to talk about them, so I do warn you that the right ask can really get me going.

And with that, back to spamming I go!

#spitting nonsense #to those of you who reached the end of this post i am shaking your hand #also some additional stuff?#i cope with liking bsd by bullying everyone as much as sobbing over them #and....honestly i cant think of anything #edit: bullying everyone meaning bullying the characters....should have clarified

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kunikinnie · 3 years

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playing horror games with them

featuring: Kunikida, Dazai, Ranpo, Chuuya, and Akutagawa

A/N: I just played a horror game with a friend so it fueled these headcanons

Kunikida

he must love you so much for him to even agree to this

he doesn't want to play because he's not scared, just to be clear. he just thinks it's a "waste of time"

but if he gives in, he'll only play with you alone, no one else

also no recording and definitely no telling Dazai anyone

monsters, zombies, stuff like that don't faze him too much. so if you want maximum entertainment get the ghost ones

good luck if he's playing a first-person game with a lot of jumpscares tho. you might end up with a cracked monitor.

he tries to suppress any scream because it's not manly and they all end up as high-pitched squeals. super cute.

if he's playing a scroller-type puzzle-heavy game with TONS of atmosphere, he'd be pretty shaken the entire time

is actually pretty good in solving puzzles

until something scary actually happens. his mind just goes blank and the mouse stops moving

you have to help him then lol he might faint

even if you think you're weak against horror, he'll definitely get scared first

don't leave him alone either he will cry get mad at you

Dazai

he'd readily agree. he might even be the one to suggest it in the first place.

he prefers fast-paced games than slower puzzle-heavy ones

also VR! he loves that it feels really immersive

he might be great at solving puzzles, but he might find them to be a bit boring

will crack jokes here and there, whether or not they're funny or even appropriate is up to you

jumpscares do get him sometimes, but he just jolts slightly when they do

he'd rather you play tbh. he likes watching you get scared have fun

loves it when you cling to him out of fear or ask him for help

But whether or not he's playing, he will try and scare you. Don't say I didn't warn you

Ranpo

he absolutely loves games, but he personally just doesn't enjoy horror

he thinks they're just cheap tricks, one after the other. it doesn't scare him at all

but he'll play if you promise to buy him lots of snacks

like Dazai, he prefers the faster-paced first-person games with chases as the main mechanic since it has some thrill

slow scrollers are booooring

of course he's the best at solving puzzles

praise him for it. the smile you get is worth it

if you get scared easily, he'll tell you in advance if there's a jumpscare coming. it's really sweet

but if you're the one playing and you don't get scared easily, he'll give you a false sense of security just to mess with you

hey it's more fun that way

Chuuya

yk those streamers that curse every 5 seconds when they're scared? yeah that's definitely him

he's not that knowledgeable about horror, so it's fun watching him play

because of this he's a bit slow at first, trying to understand how the game works

but once he does get used to it expect the screen to change like, 5 times a second (for the first-person POV games)

he just moves too fast because he's both scared and impatient

you know he's terrified if he's louder and rambles more than usual

scare him every now and then. he'll get mad, but the reaction is always worth it

lowkey sucks at puzzles. he's not dumb it's just that he doesn't understand the logic in some games (this is totally me lol). also very impatient so don't give him puzzle-heavy ones

says he hates playing but totally enjoyed it. 80% chance you can convince him to do it again

he also totally content just watching you play. he'll have his arms wrapped around you if you're scared

Akutagawa

for your own physical safety, please don't try this at home

if you've seen BSD Wan chapter 119, you'll know why

like Chuuya, he needs some time getting used to it. Actually, no he might not really get used to using controllers

this man has been living under a rock his entire life, so be nice to him

be ready lol gets too emotionally invested

will try irl things to beat in-game enemy

"why can't I use Rashomon to cut him down??"

"honey, it's just a game"

VR is out of the question. He can and will destroy it accidentally

he reacts more when you're against monsters than ghosts

when he's scared, his brain just malfunctions. his face becomes paler and he doesn't move at all

hold his hand the entire time to reassure him please

but if you're the one playing, he'll just be confused the entire time lol

why did that scare you? he can't understand it. if you get so scared then why do you keep playing

if you get scared he'll just pat you in the back. this boy is awkward af, but he does care about you

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 years

Text

Ok finally, finally, here is part 3 of my touch and relationships series: Partners! I'll be covering Kunikida and Chuuya here.

Here's Part 1: Friends in case you missed it, and Part 2: Mentees, underneath!

I Like to Write Things — So I realized that 3 am me is not coherent and... (tumblr.com)

I Like to Write Things — Part 2 (Mentees) of my notes on touch in bsd! If... (tumblr.com)

Now without further ado, let's start with Kunikida! This is actually the first solidified dynamic we see in the series and I think it does a good job of setting up the tone for not just the two characters, but also the series in general.

Their dynamic is at once straightforward and deeper than it seems. Dazai annoys Kunikida. Kunikida gets mad. Kunikida typically inflicts some kind of bodily harm on Dazai (played for comedy).

Yet, they work really well together. In terms of a professional partnership, I'd say it's the best in the series; they near perfectly fill in each other's weak spots as seen in the fight scene in the Entrance Exam story where they switch opponents. Kunikida respects Dazai because he always gets results, while he keeps them both on track. And I think Dazai respects Kunikida too. He speaks quite highly of him and his potential as leader to the younger members of the ADA, and despite thinking of him as straightforward, even simplistic, I think this might be something Dazai likes about him. Kunikida is exactly who he appears to be. He says exactly what he'll do and does it. He wears his ideals on his sleeve. Dazai can trust him for this very reason, and indeed, Dazai seems comfortable getting in the man's personal space (indirect contact).

On the flip side, for however well they work together, their relationship does not currently have much personal depth. The only significant direct contact between them is Kunikida's rather aggressive berating to behave on the job. It's a workplace relationship, not a personal one.

Wan implies that Kunikida actually does worry about Dazai but it seems that he's uncertain of whether to broach more serious topics in a workplace environment and so he doesn't say anything. On the flip side, Dazai sees fit to warn him about the dangers of taking his ideals too far, but otherwise doesn't really "get serious" with him.

And I think that's intentional. It's a strong partnership but relatively shallow on a personal level. Kunikida is a very consistent person who won't change the relationship. It's a safe dynamic for Dazai. And that's why, any contact between them is of a humorous nature (note, there still is contact - it is a significant relationship), as at this point, it doesn't really go beyond surface level. I wonder if their dynamic will develop more after this current arc... I certainly hope so.

And that brings us to the final dynamic, Dazai's former partner, Chuuya.

Their dynamic is easily one of my favourites to explore, as we're given a lot of content to work with and they're also foil characters. On a surface level, it seems as though Dazai's dynamic with Kunikida shares a lot in common with his former one with Chuuya - he certainly likes to irritate them and they both have a quick temper and tend to lash out as a response - but here's something interesting I noticed.

In the comedic scenes where Chuuya attacks Dazai, I can't remember an instance where he actually makes contact. Dazai dodges his strikes. Even in the scene where Dazai reveals his arm is uninjured in the fight against Lovecraft and Chuuya gets pissed (because he was worried...) he's still only readying a fist to punch him and his other hand is on his collar, not making direct contact.

When Chuuya does make direct contact with a blow, it is decidedly not played for laughs. I think about scenes where Chuuya attacks Dazai in the dungeon after his betrayal, or when he kicks the gun out of his hand in Fifteen, or when he punches him in the face during the DHC. These are callouts. They force Dazai to confront himself, something he hates doing. Any actual violence between them is no gag but carries a definite kind of emotional weight - another expression of the tension that constantly exists between them.

Unlike Dazai's relationships with Kunikida or Odasaku, which are comfortable and consistent - emotionally safe, his dynamic with Chuuya is fraught with conflict - emotionally unsafe. Connection with Chuuya often brings him pain and internal discomfort with himself because they are just so darn similar at their cores - so, Dazai dodges. He evades direct contact from Chuuya, so they can never really have the true slapstick dynamic he has with Kunikida or the comfortable coexistence he had with Odasaku.

Of course, the violence from Chuuya is countered by his very obvious concern and worry when Dazai gets hurt or is in actual danger - pushing him out of harm's way in Stormbringer, rushing over to him when he gets hit by Lovecraft, and the punch he gives him to save his life in Dead Apple. All this with his admittance of trust and the light punch to his chest after the Lovecraft fight, and it's fairly obvious that while Chuuya can't bring himself to admit Dazai matters to him, he does.

And if that were the end of it, then maybe we could assume that there's no reciprocal care on Dazai's end. Except, there's so much evidence this is not the case and most of it stems from the fact that for someone who avoids contact from Chuuya, he sure initiates an awful lot of it. Let's make a list of notable instances here:

Gets in his personal space regularly

Pats his head in Fifteen

Pokes him in the cheek to deactivate his ability in the Fifteen omake

Grabs his hand in Fifteen's fight scene anime adaptation (a rare mutual contact) or indirect contact (also mutual) in the novel with the drape

Carries him on his back so he can say goodbye to The Flags in Stormbringer

Catches him falling out of the sky after Corruption in Stormbringer

Nullifies Corruption in the DHC by touching his cheek then letting him rest in his lap

Nullifies Corruption at the resolution of Dead Apple much the same way

Implied to have laid him on his back and cleaned the blood off his face after the fight against Lovecraft

I... what do I even say here? Dazai initiates a ridiculous amount of contact between them, and when looking at it in chronological order, it seems these particular gestures become more emotional and less teasing as time goes on. Unfortunately, many of these instances of fondness occur when Chuuya is injured, grief-stricken or otherwise exhausted, which may contribute to Chuuya's apparent doubtfulness when it comes to Dazai having any helpful or "good" intentions.

Ultimately, the characterization of their dynamic when looking at touch shows two people who clash but care about each other... but are also both so emotionally constipated and prideful that they can barely admit that to themselves, let alone each other. I am begging for the return of the prison arc to kickstart at least some present-day development for them.

And that brings me to the end of my touch and relationships series which was really just more me rambling about Dazai's relationships with other people in the series. Hope this was enjoyable anyways.

#bsd #bsd meta #bsd analysis #bsd dazai #bsd kunikida #bsd chuuya #kunikidazai #soukoku #skk #storyrambles #fr i would love to see more main story content like in that wan chapter #where kunikida thinks he's talking to dazai from behind a screen #and decides it might be a good way to broach his concerns about dazai's attempts and open a dialogue #...only to find that dazai wasn't actually there lol #also soukoku admit you care about each other challenge #it's getting ridiculous at this point

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luv-fedya-archived · 3 years

Note

ELLO! I saw you saying your reminder soo... :D can I request for akutagawa, chuuya, and ango with an s/o (female preferred!) who somehow still has his job but is extremely chaotic and lazy? (Likemebutwithoutthejobpart-hfhfhsdjdofsjf) For example, nearly all the time people only see s/o either: snoring on the couch, chasing a cat down the street, sleeping on their desk with mountains of paperwork (that they somehow finish) around them? Thank you!

Akutagawa, Chuuya, and Ango with an lazy/chaotic s/o

notes : ask and you shall receive :D (also i didn't know whether you wanted a oneshot or some headcanons, so i dabbled in a bit of both, i hope thats ok :))

pairing : Akutagawa x reader, Chuuya x reader, Ango x reader (pronouns not specified)

warnings : one mention of something that can be taken as murder

word count : 997

akutagawa

he probably supervises you as one would a kid

by that i mean he hunches over you as you work, while maintaining that face that he has in bsd wan

he's just

not sure on how he could help you, or even if you need help in the first place

if/when he does help, he's willing to go to lengths to help you (there's a professor assigning you too much work? he's happy to help out :))

as for being chaotic

he himself is relatively not chaotic (he may be violent at times, but there's a line between violence and chaos)

he would try and drag you away with rashomon from anything that might encourage you to cause mass chaos (spoiler: he gives up)

a little fucking around wouldn't hurt. or so you kept telling yourself. how you found yourself in this situation, you do not know. what you do know, is that you have a very pissed akutagawa standing over you.

"(Y/n.)" his voice, deep with disappointment only sinks you deeper into regret. looking at him with a sheepish smile, you hope to sooth his nerves. which backfires horribly. you snicker uncontrollably at the sight of his face, covered in doodles. he only scowls in response

it was elise's idea, really. well, you suppose it was also your fault for entertaining the idea in the first place, though it would have been hard to turn her down. chuckling nervously, you looked around the room, avoiding akutagawa's gaze

"(Y/n)." he repeated. his voice was deceivingly calm, but you knew better than to be lured into a sense of false security.

"hm?" you turn to look at him now. as your gaze lands on his face, you struggle to smother giggles again. your eyes find a lazily drawn cat -your handiwork- right in the middle of his forehead. and that was it. you burst into another fit of giggles, unable to hold them back anymore.

you stopped as something cold yet soft suddenly met your chin. finding akutagawa's hand tilting your face up to the light, you grin slightly.

"does that mean you forgave me?"

His response came as the sound of a marker’s lid coming off. sensing what's about to come, you try to move back, only to be blocked by rashomon. akutagawa's eyes held a rare sight, a mischievous glint as he leaned close to you.

"now" the faintest of smiles playing on his lips, his breath tickles your neck

"why don't we see how that pretty face of yours looks with marker, hm?

chuuya

concerned for you

he knows you can get your work done but he's worried about you being overloaded with work, especially if you're rushing it all in at the last minute

offers to pitch in to help you if you seem like you're struggling

gives you reminders when you seem like you're getting off task

but every once in a while (and very begrudgingly), he might indulge you by doing whatever chaotic things you're doing with you

oh boy

imagine chuuya, one of the executives of the port mafia chasing a cat down the street with you

if you ever bring it up to another person, he would deny it profusely (although there probably was a large amount of people seeing you guys do so, but oh well)

laughter echoed down the street, the sound parting a path through the sea of people, attracting curious glances and turned heads. in front of you was a stray cat, who was very much ahead of you. it was getting faster, in comparison to you, puffing as you tried to maintain your pace. at the rate you were heading, you would soon be outrun.

stopping to catch your breath, you glanced behind you at chuuya, who was, not so surprisingly, not tired even in the slightest

"the cat got away" you pouted as the cat darted away around a corner and into an alleyway

"that's too bad. to think you dragged me all the way out here just to give up" he shook his head in mock disappointment

"yeah. its such a shame" you sighed, feigning disappointment. "but then again, why would i want the cat when i can have you?" you smiled, all traces of disappointment gone, a mischievous glint in your eyes

"whatever" he scoffed, a light blush tinting his cheeks a rosy hue.

"hey, look!" you gasped as you pointed towards none other than the cat, cautiously peeking its head out from the alleyway. "better catch up!" you laughed as you took off once again, leaving a confused chuuya in your wake

"so much for being more important than the cat" shaking his head slightly at your antics, he took off after you, and into the rays of the sinking sun.

ango

although he's the more hardworking one in the relationship, you manage to be both lazy and get work done

even though he knows that you're perfectly capable of getting your work done, he probably attempted to get you to be more organized at some point, but to no avail

so he settled on reminding you to work every now and then

sighs every time you're up and about doing chaotic things

wouldn't actually stop you unless you go too far/do things that may or may not be illegal

a sigh made its way out of his throat as he observed your sleeping figure. you were working - attempting to work would describe the situation better - until you fell asleep - again. although, if he were to be completely honest, you did look quite cute, snuggled amidst the mountains of paperwork that barricaded your desk. your mouth was slightly agape, gentle snores providing a soothing backdrop. he hadn't even realized he moved his hand until slender fingers brushed over your hair, brushing several stray strands out of your face.

he would wake you up later, ango decided. for now, he was going to enjoy his time with you.

aaaaa im sorry for taking so long with this, but here you go :)

#i hope none of the characters were too ooc #enjoy :)#bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #akutagawa x reader #chuuya x reader #ango x reader

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multisfabulis · 2 years

Text

Death’s Hypocrisy and Life’s Antithesis

Word Count: 3636

TW: Discussion of death and suicide

I can feel my soul wanting to leave my body as I type this out because I'm super nervous over how this will do. Not only is this the third ship fic I've written this year, this is both my first BSD fic (a fandom I've been in since 2016) and my first DazAtsu fic (my OTP since my foray into BSD in 2016) AND it's the last fic I'll have written and posted for 2021. At least I fulfilled my promise of writing more than two fanfics this year!

So how did this idea come about? Well, I've had this HC scenario of Atsushi being in a suicidal state of mind and Dazai helping him out of it while making himself out to be a hypocrite since 2016 (I believe) but I never thought I'd turn it into a fic due to lack of confidence in my abilities and not knowing how to flesh it out beyond the bare bones. Then, over the course of time as I worked on my confidence and my skills, I eventually came around to the idea of turning my HC into a fic. Then Wan! happened (Episode 11 or 12, you know which moment I'm talking about specifically) and I stewed around for months until this fic came into existence earlier this month.

I didn't even plan on this being my first fic in either category! I planned on my first BSD being a SigAtsu fic because I enjoy living in rarepair hell and my first DazAtsu fic was going to be a Kagerou Days fic with death and tragedy but then Wan! happened and I postponed both. That was honestly for the best.

I want to apologize for the philosophizing, Dazai and Atsushi possibly being OOC, and for the pacing. Although I wrote this with the purpose of posting it once it was done, I also wrote it with the intent of indulging in 19 year old me's HC and I'm fully aware this would never happen in canon as it stands now. Still, I hope this fic is enjoyable to read, despite its issues!

One last thing, I do plan on writing more BSD fics! Some of them are DazAtsu while others are for other ships and a couple are even crossover fics! Those will be posted sometime in the future but this is me testing the waters for now!

Read on AO3 | Read on DeviantArt | Support me on Ko-fi!

What is life? A question humans have asked themselves dozens upon hundreds upon thousands of times throughout their existence and it was a question that seemed to have no “correct” answer. If you were to ask ten random strangers plucked off the street what life was, they were bound to give you wildly differing answers. A person’s interpretation of the concept relied on a multitude of varying factors, such as their past, their present, and what they believed would be their future. They also didn’t remain static; they could change due to any number of reasons and in a matter of years, months, weeks, or even days, depending on what happened. The answer was ever evolving, making it unlikely, if not impossible, to ever truly know it.

For Dazai Osamu, his answer was this. Life was dark, full of death and despair with no end in sight, no hope of it ever getting better. It was hard to tell when it began or even if it “began”, suggesting the possibility he’d known of a life without the perpetual feeling of emptiness within it. Sure, his life went from absolute certainties to hypothetical implications over the past few years of his existence but it didn’t erase his insatiable desire for death. It always followed him, whether in the world of the living or in dreams, it stuck to him like a second skin. Life, as it stood now, was tortuous torment, something he became accustomed to long, long ago.

The question he sought the answer to was, what was death? It was the end of life, the state of being dead. Children could understand such a concept once it was explained to them in easy and simple terms. However, what he really wanted to know was “What is death?” Would it give him the peace he lacked? Would death be able to fill the void that was inside him? Did death really mean the end of someone’s life or was it a term people used to describe the process of a soul leaving its mortal vessel to move on to the afterlife to exist for however much longer? Then there was the belief that someone was never truly gone if they lived on in others’ memories of them. It’d be just his luck to die only to realize a facsimile of him was still alive by that method. He’d never receive any rest, if that were the case.

It was another one of those moods again. The ones where he pondered on the meaning of life, death, and other abstract concepts before coming to the realization they’d never be completely understood. Usually, when he found himself thinking such things, he’d stow himself away in a secret place for some time until he was done. Today, it occurred during work so he naturally snuck out while no one was looking and came up to the roof, with mostly everyone none the wiser. Ranpo knew because he was Ranpo and Kunikida tore the place apart trying to find him till he eventually checked the roof. As disruptive as these moods were, they did get him out of doing work and they had the added bonus of pissing Kunikida off so it was a win-win scenario.

Everyone should’ve already been on their way home by now. However, he still had to finish his case reports and send them out before the day was over. He played around with the idea of doing work for a moment. He could write up his reports and be on his merry way but procrastination’s always been a hard habit to break and putting them off for another day was so tempting. Oh, what was he to do?

Yokohama was just as lively today as it was every other day. Cool air came to chase away the late summer heat as night crept ever closer. Down below were the sounds of people walking and talking and traffic, the typical ambiance of a city. The clear sky above was streaked with vivid hues of red, orange, violet, and blue as the sun set over the horizon towards the west. It was an all too familiar yet still comforting sight to see for a dead man walking.

He heard the door behind him open with a loud creaking of its hinges. Just by the process of elimination, there were only a handful of people who knew he’d been up here today. He turned around and was greeted by---

“Atsushi-kun.”

Atsushi didn’t say anything. It wasn’t surprising, since Dazai noticed he hadn’t been acting quite like himself over the past few days. He still had his snark and was keeping up with both work and Dazai’s antics but it was easy to see he was half-assing it so as to not worry anyone. Whatever was going on, Dazai figured it was nothing too serious and wanted to give Atsushi some time to work through it on his own. Now he was wondering if, perhaps, that was the wrong thing to do.

“Did Kunikida-kun ask you to come fetch me?” he asked before letting out a fake exasperated sigh. “I swear, it’s like he has no trust in me at all!”

Instead of beating around the bush or try his hand at lying, Atsushi replied with a simple yet curt, “No, he hadn’t.”

That was a tad concerning. He said nothing more and stood beside Dazai, resting his arms and head down on top of the railing. He hadn’t seen much of Atsushi today so he wasn’t sure whether something terrible happened while he was out working on a case or if his childhood decided to rear its ugly head up again. There was a good chance it was either-or. Regardless, now was most definitely the time for him to step in and give his lovely kitten some help.

Before he could open his mouth, however, there were a couple things he saw that gave him pause. Atsushi had an almost listless quality about him, like it took everything he had to just stand there and do little else. Then there were his eyes, which were setting off alarm bells in his head. They looked darker than usual, the violet and gold muted to the point they seemed lifeless. They never lost their light, even in the worst of situations, so Dazai was really starting to worry over what was happening with Atsushi. Panic was a feeling he hated having.

“Dazai-san, can I ask you something?” Atsushi called out, motionless.

Despite his gut instinct telling him it was a bad idea, Dazai replied with, “You know I’ll always answer your questions to the best of my ability so ask away.” This might give him a clue as to what was troubling Atsushi so he decided to indulge him.

“Do you think--” he stood up straight, keeping his eyes transfixed on the city before him-- “if someone were to jump from this height, they would--” his grip on the railing tightened and he swallowed nervously-- “die?”

Okay, that was very unsettling to hear. Atsushi would never ask such macabre questions, much less entertain the thought of them. He was someone who fought to survive, to live life and see all it had to offer. To listen to a person who enjoyed even the smallest pleasures of the world wonder if a fall off of a building would kill someone went against his character.

Slipping the mask on, he attempted to brush off the question as a morbid joke with, “Why, Atsushi-kun, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were asking that to see if you wanted to try it for yourself!” It was meant to be a chance to prove him wrong, even in the vain hopes he wasn’t. “But I know you’d never---”

“And what if I did?” Atsushi asked, cutting him off mid-sentence. “What if I said I did want to try it?”

“Well, it’s only a hypothetical scenario, isn’t it?” Dazai smiled uncomfortably, growing increasingly disturbed by how the conversation’s going. “It is hypothetical, right?”

An agonizing moment passed by before Atsushi answered, “…Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.”

“Atsushi-kun, you--” He placed a hand on his shoulder to slowly turn him when---

Atsushi shook it off but it was enough. It was only a glance yet what Dazai saw struck fear into his core. What little light there had been in his eyes previously was completely gone, replaced with a dead hollowness. They were too similar, too close to the ones Dazai remembered staring back at him in the mirror during his days in the Mafia. It was an uncanny resemblance and he needed to do everything in his power to right this wrong, because it didn’t fit sweet Atsushi.

“What happened? Can you tell me?” He thought if he approached this gently, it’d coax an answer out of Atsushi. It didn’t work. “I’m here to listen if you wanna talk about it.” More silence. “Atsushi-kun, I want to help you but I can’t do that if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

He let out a sigh. “I thought you of all people would understand this.”

“I do but that doesn’t mean this is the right way to go about it. What you’re thinking of doing isn’t going to solve everything, it’ll just make it worse.” God, he sucked at this. Not only was he the absolute worst person for this, it was his darling Atsushi he had to talk back from the edge. Anyone else would be better suited but it was just his luck to get caught up in this.

“You think I don’t know that?” He turned away from the railing to face Dazai. “That’s all I’ve thought about over the past few days and I still feel like this. If anything, it’s only made me feel worse.”

There was one tactic left he hadn’t tried yet. The very thought of using it was contemptible but desperation called for drastic measures. “Think of all the people that’d be affected by your passing, Atsushi-kun. Think about how Kyouka-chan would feel if you were to die.” He felt like scum for bringing her into this. “You have so much to live for so that’s why---”

“Don’t give me those empty platitudes, Dazai-san, we both know you don’t believe in what you’re saying.” There was barely restrained anger in his voice and he glared at Dazai with heated intensity. “How can you ask me to live when you don’t even give yourself the same courtesy? You’re-you’re a hypocrite, Dazai-san!”

He deserved that, especially for trying to manipulate him. Atsushi was right; Dazai was a hypocrite. How could a man like him talk someone out of committing suicide when he couldn’t extend the same mercy to himself? He craved death like it was his life’s purpose; he wasn’t qualified for this.

Yet, because it was Atsushi, Dazai had to help him. Whatever was making him think he should die, he needed to be convinced it was only temporary. A proven hypocrite’s point still stood.

“I may be but it doesn’t make what I said any less true.” Atsushi averted his eyes, most likely ashamed of his earlier outburst. Dazai’s voice took on a softer, kinder cadence as he said, “You can choose to believe what I’m about to say next, all I ask is for you to listen, okay?”

Gently, he grabbed Atsushi’s hands and held them in his own. It was clear to see the difference between them in how they viewed life. Dazai’s were stained in so much black blood, they showed naught a trace of the “human” underneath. Atsushi’s, meanwhile, were pure white with only a splash of scarlet. He couldn’t stomach the idea of killing someone while Dazai felt the countless amount of sins crawling up his back. They were life and death yet the reaper was giving his antithetical partner the encouragement to keep going. How paradoxical.

“You’re right, I’m a hypocrite. What right do I have telling you to live when I don’t tell myself the same?” He stroked the back of Atsushi’s hand with a thumb. “But it’s because you deserve to while I don’t. You’re a good person, Atsushi-kun, and I’m a poor imitation of one. You want to save people, you have saved people, and it’s because you are and choose to be a good person.”

Dazai, in a rare moment of candidness, cast his gaze down to their conjoined hands before continuing on. “In some ways, you’re what I strive to be yet I know I can never reach you, no matter how hard I try--” his grip tightened ever so slightly upon sensing Atsushi’s incoming protests-- “and that’s okay. I’ve committed far too many crimes to ever be redeemed, I know I’m destined for hell but you still have a chance.

“The world will always be a dark and harrowing place but--” he looked up and took a deep breath in-- “you, along with everyone else in the Agency, fight to make it less so. If you were to die here and now, the world would lose that little bit of goodness, that little bit of light only you have.

“That’s why I ask--” he cupped Atsushi’s cheek, peering into his eyes that seemed to be regaining their natural brilliance-- “for you to live. Don’t die, not yet, not until it’s your time to go. Live, Atsushi.”

Atsushi stepped back, turning away from Dazai, who was unsure on what he should do next. He felt too exposed standing out here but he didn’t want to run and hide again until he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Atsushi would be all right. The mask had a tendency to slip whenever they were together but this might’ve been the first time Dazai let Atsushi into his walls, if only for a moment. It was strange and not at all appropriate with the kind of relationship they shared. Yet, if his precious Atsushi was ever in this situation again, he’d bring them down without any hesitation.

Each and every word was said with the utmost sincerity. He spoke out of the depths of his heart, even if he was a demon masquerading as a human. He wanted to believe he got through to Atsushi, stopped him from potentially going through on a mistake that’d cost him greatly. He held on to hope like it was a lifeline.

They may have been on the side of light but they were there for very different reasons. Dazai only wanted to fulfill his dear friend’s dying wish of becoming a good man in spite of all the atrocities he’d committed. Atsushi wanted to do good, whether it was by helping people or doing the right thing, which was more selfless and noble than Dazai could ever be. The world could care less if another monster like him were to die but if it were Atsushi? It’d be worse off.

Several minutes went by as he wondered if he had possibly crossed his boundaries when he heard it. A quiet sniffling, followed by a shaky intake of air and a soft whimper, like someone was crying but trying to hide it. It was a sound he recognized, having listened to it many times before.

Tears threatening to spill over filled Atsushi’s eyes. His shoulders trembled as he bit down on his lower lip to keep himself from sobbing. As sad as the scene was, it brought Dazai some much-needed relief. Atsushi was going to be okay.

“D-dazai-san…” A tear rolled down his cheek before he wiped it away. “I’m sorry for… worrying you and for yelling at you earlier.” Then, as if he couldn’t hold it any longer, the dam burst open as a myriad of tears fell to the ground. “I’m sorry that I let you down, that I’m just a disappointment and---”

Maybe it was from hearing the absolute pain and guilt in his voice or the pitiful way he looked at him. Whether it was one or the other, it didn’t matter. It was enough for Dazai to grab Atsushi’s wrist, draw him into his arms, and just hold him for however long it took till he stopped crying.

Atsushi didn’t return the sudden hug, likely too shocked to do so. This was very much out of Dazai’s comfort zone and it wasn’t like him to make spur-of-the-moment decisions based on pure emotion. However, what Atsushi needed right now was an equal, not a mentor, and Dazai hoped he was filling in that position somewhat. If this left Atsushi feeling better after everything, it’d be worth it.

“You could never disappoint me,” he whispered, smiling fondly. “You always manage to find a way to surprise me, even exceed my expectations.” His arms tightened ever so slightly around him. “You’re more than you think you are.”

Dazai gave Atsushi one last squeeze before pulling away a moment later. Atsushi stood stock still, no doubt stunned from everything that just happened, and he had a flush of embarrassment on his face. Knowing he was going to be all right, Dazai felt confident that they had nothing left to discuss.

Atsushi called out in a meek voice, “Dazai-san, I---”

“I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, Atsushi-kun.” Dazai walked past him towards the direction of the door. “Kunikida-kun will kill me if I don’t finish my work and I’d rather my death be at my own hands.” He opened the door, the creaking of its hinges echoing from inside the stairwell. He turned back to Atsushi. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

Before more could be said, he went inside and descended the stairs. He made it down one flight, deciding to get off on the floor above the Agency. Going home sounded appealing but he’d be risking bumping into anyone from there and he really didn’t want to deal with them after what happened. He walked further in, wanting to ground himself back to reality.

That was… a lot. He was used to high-pressure situations, fights where his life could be snuffed out by a split-second decision but this was different. Dazai, a man who yearned for the sweet release of death, had to talk down Atsushi, someone that lived life to the fullest, from suicide. Not only was it a complete reversal of some of their earliest interactions but he opened up to him. He was a former Mafia executive that kept even those closest to him in the dark about his intentions yet he bared just a piece of his soul to save his protege. How things change over the course of 4 years…

Atsushi was special. There was no other way to explain it; Atsushi had endeared himself to Dazai with his honesty, his faith, his loyalty. He deserved the right to live, the right to exist. He may be young and inexperienced now but there was nothing stopping him from reaching his potential if he continued on this path. Dazai was sure he’d get there in a few years’ time, even if he wasn’t there to witness it someday. Maybe he should try to stay alive until then, if only so Atsushi wouldn’t be sad over him not seeing how much he’d grown.

Dazai let out a sigh and leaned against a nearby wall. When had Atsushi become so important to him that he was considering prolonging his tormented existence? It was made in jest but it was still a joke he’d never think about normally. He would be the death of him, either metaphorically or by his own hands. Honestly, if Dazai were to die via murder, he’d like his beautiful tiger to be his killer.

How cruel yet fitting it is for death to love life.

#airi's writing #DazAtsu #Fanfiction #Bungou Stray Dogs #suicide tw

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