#where would i be without dairy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elexaria · 2 months

Text

living with ghoap was nice. two big burly fellas to keep you company, to reach the top shelves in the kitchen for you, to absolutely plough you into the mattress when you couldnt itch your own scratch for once. they were good lads.

but there were countless times where they’d be away for work, so you knew you couldnt be fully dependent on them. they knew that too, so they weren’t exactly going to object to you having fun without them. so long as you were happy and safe, they were content.

but fuck, the men out there are absolutely horrible to deal with. sleazy, there’s just… no ability to have any kind of banter with these things that think only with their cocks.

until you meet kilgöre alexander.

he’s gigantic, his shoulders probably share the same width as mount everest’s base. easily, kilgöre is the tallest man you’ve ever been with. he dwarfs simon in size, which is very telling in itself.

it’s hard to pry away at who kilgöre is as a person. he’s austrian, likes keeping himself to himself. absolutely refuses to tell you what he does for a living, because it’s on a need to know basis. “sounds like something a terrorist would say.” you jokingly coo one night at dinner, smirking as he rolls his foggy blue eyes at your comment. “har har, very funny.” he mockingly says, the corners of his lips twitching ever so slightly.

he’s one of the best things that’s happened to you in a while. he doesn’t know about the particular living arrangement you share with simon and johnny— like he says, it’s on a need to know basis. plus, you haven’t boned either of them since you met this fella. ghoap know what’s up, but they’re not bothered by it. they’re just glad to see you doing well for yourself. “ye have a glow about ye, love.” johnny coos in your ear one day, smirking as he watches you fluster and flounder around the kitchen, trying to make excuses. “it’s the vitamins i’m taking” this and “i’ve quit dairy” that. he knows the truth, simon know its too.

but there’s one thing that makes the attachment to this man absolutely unbearable.

he disappears from time to time.

some days it’s only a couple of days, maybe a couple of weeks at a push. absolutely no contact.

he swears it’s to do with his line of work, that one day he’ll be able to tell you everything. but for now, he asks just for one thing.

“just… wait for me.”

it’s been almost a month with no contact from kilgöre, and it feels like every morning with no text, no nothing, you have a growing pit inside of you that can’t stop gnawing at you, eating you up whole. what the fuck? what could he possibly do for a career that makes it so he goes days without checking his phone? it makes you feel sick to your stomach. what if he’s in a gang or something?

besides, how the fuck can you keep on waiting for someone who you don’t even know is even alive? for all you know, this behemoth of a man has been hog tied and dumped at the bottom of a lake with cinder blocks strapped to his feet. how are you supposed to wait for someone who shows no signs of leaving or coming back?

“that light in yer eyes has dulled.” johnny remarks one evening, a sad smile on his lips. your eyebrows knit together, feigning confusion. “huh? oh, yeah. uh… it’s the gluten intolerance i reckon.” you murmur to yourself, flashing a weak smile to consolidate his inquisitive gaze. “i’m fine, though.”

simon huffs as he leers next to you, skilfully flaying pieces of fish with a pensive look. both you and johnny glance at him, which only makes him grunt in response. you furrow your eyebrows at him, urging him to elaborate on what the pressing issue is.

“we reckon shit’s hit the fan with that new bloke of yours.” simon bluntly replies as he wipes off the chopping board with a damp cloth, hands gently scooping up guts, scales and delicate fish bones to dispose of. you scoff, eyes never leaving the cuts of fish meat that rest on a plate, waiting to be delicately battered and fried up.

“whatev—“

“and i know you, you’ll try and refute the truth that i know what’s going on. that we know what’s going on. so, none of this nonsense, alright? what’s up?”

johnny and simon silently watch you, their simultaneous waiting for any reaction from you making your skin crawl. at first, you scowl and huff. shifting your weight from foot to foot as you become defensive. simon cuts you off again, “none of that bollocks. tell the truth.”

you give in. on bated breath, you explain the whole situation. how kilgöre is the kind of man you had never expected to fall for, how he had managed to steal your attention even while being so elusive and secretive. how you desperately want him to come back to you, like he said he would.

johnny frowns, and simon nods in your direction, wiping his blood stained hands with the damp cloth. “fishy hands.” he murmurs, wiggling his fingers to prove he can’t comfort you with a hug. johnny nods, swiftly making his way around the kitchen island to come give you a warm hug. it’s a solid hug, one you’d never object to having. johnny’s large hands rub circles to your back, his bearded chin resting against your shoulder as he sways gently.

simon stands behind johnny, holding eye contact with you as he continued to carefully clean his hands. he raises his eyebrows in thought, before glancing down at his fingernails as he begins to meticulously clean underneath them to rid his skin of all things fish.

“this… kilgöre bloke. i reckon if he’s the one, he’s worth waitin’ for. but don’t think for a second he should get away with leavin’ you this long without so much as a text, yeah? rip ‘im a new one when he comes back.” he advises, glancing back up at you with a slight smirk when he hears you chuckle, your laugh strained with emotion.

he steps closer, carefully tilting your chin up so you can meet his gaze better. he gently wipes a stray tear from your cheek. “if he’s the man you think he is, he’ll explain everything if you ask him to. and if he does? great. if he doesn’t?” you wince at the idea, frowning.

he sighs, pressing a gentle kiss to your brow.

“then he’s a bloody eejit, as our johnny boy would say.”

#elexaria writes #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #poly!ghoap #poly!ghoap x reader #könig #könig x reader

797 notes · View notes

puhmpken · 3 months

Text

Author’s Note: This one is a filler since I am still working on “Dairy of the Obsessed” ..this one was spontaneous lmfaoo! Also requests are open feel free to give me story ideas

This has BEEN edited 🥳🎉

Warning ⚠️-> If you’re under the age of 18+ DONT interact with this post, this is your only & final warning! I do not & will not take responsibility for anything further!

You have been warned

Title: A Shape-Shifter’s Dilemma

Alastor x Reader Oneshot

written + edited by @puhmpkins-blog 🎃

W/C: 5.1K 😀 oops maybe too much lol my imagination got the better of me but please enjoy!

You always questioned where Alastor your husband would go. Most of the time you would brush it off and not think of it—Overlord stuff.

But one night while Al and you slept in the same bed he tossed and turned in his sleep you could assume he was having a nightmare

“honey..?” You said in a low ruff voice as you gently placed a hand on Alastor who stops his moving before the word he mutters out was

“charlie..”

...Now that is odd. Why would a overlord like Alastor be saying the princess of hells name in the middle of his sleep?

It made you raise a eyebrow, and questioned him.

The day following did not seem to ease your nerves one bit, he again in rather ..a rush to leave the manor

Standing next to the front doors door you watched as he moved back and forth through the living room looking for whatever he was desiring

“What's rushing for darling? This is rather out of character” You said as your eyes watched him move throughout the room

“Oh nothing to concern yourself with dearie!~ Just overlord business”

You hummed back at his bland cryptic response not wanting to pick it apart–you just decided not to question it and save yourself the energy

“Right. Just don’t go get yourself in trouble” You said smiling at Alastor standing infront of you, slightly towering over you as you fixed and cleaned off any dirt or lent that got caught on his suit as he was in your words rushing around

Moving your hands away from him, your eyes locked with his as Alastor’s reddish brown eyes, a flicker of amusement dancing within them. His lips curved from a small smile into a sly smirk, revealing his pointy teeth.

“Trouble?,” he questioned, making his one of his eyebrows raise in a cocky way , “Why..thats my middle name, my dear.” He said clasping and holding both your hands as he stared at you, before shrugging “But perhaps maybe I’ll make an exception—for you.”

You rolled your eyes to your husband's playful antics, before giving Alastor his goodbye kiss and waving him bye as he sinks into his shadow disappearing leaving you alone in the manor.

A moment of silent filling the air before

“Now, let me figure out WHAT’S actually happening.”

And that’s how this whole shenanigan began with you.

You see, while Alastor might have been expected to marry some ordinary demon, you in your case, were far from ordinary. As a shape-shifting demon, you possessed the ability to transform your identity at will, becoming a whole new demon or a manifestation of whatever your imagination desired.

The only limitations were those of your own imagination or..if Alastor was able to sniff you out, thanks to his keen sense of smell. HOWEVER, avoiding detection was usually easy enough… for the most part.

Weeks to months you’ve been keeping up on this “routine” of cat and mouse but all was paying off.

You found out Al has been to much of your dismay harboring rather a couple of secrets hidden and tucked from you. Other than your known overlord stuff he was a suppose helper at a hotel called the “Hazbin Hotel” that princess charlie owns and works at with a couple of other people almost made you drop with laughter when you first seen Alastor helping out with the hotel, you had to tell Rosie about this later.

It was easy to stay undercover and even easier to get close to him without him realizing and knowing it was you.

You made up your mind weeks ago that his territory would be fine, if you step away here and there to follow Alastor to the hotel

And that’s how you end up to the present day you.

You weren’t satisfied with knowing Alastor helps at a hotel. Yes indeed it was a shocker but that’s all? You were still puzzled on why Al said Charile name to began with

Alastor hasn’t suspected a thing yet due to him kinda being busy at the hotel or up in his office.

On the rare times you would see him, he was up in the upper balcony with nifty laughing with her, you couldn’t hear what they were talking about but knowing the both of them.. it was rather something strange or gruesome

As another shifted ended, the day ended with you back at the manor seating in your comfortable loveseat, reading a book before mere minutes Al got back, making it seem as normal as possible to not raise suspicions

The next day as things moved along you wished Alastor a goodbye as you watched him shift into the shadows and disappear off.

Waiting a few minutes after he left you then began to get ready for your shift at the hotel, that first started with showering to rid yourself of your natural scents–you didn’t want to be tackled down by your husband as soon as you walk in through the door.

Finishing up with your shower you stepped out spraying some random cheap perfume you had bought to scramble Al scents.

As you began styling yourself from being a lady of the 1920s with elegant beauty and designer dresses to a ripped petite coat, old bleach stained black skirt with a hole at the bottom with a finish messy down hairstyle

You laughed at your reflection

Seeing what you looked like in your normal form made you laugh. Alastor would probably gasp and dropped to his knees at the things you wore.

You walked out the house being sure to not be seen

Successfully making it past the fenced gates and out of the woods you came to the main roads of hell shifting yourself into a hell creature you have been using for this whole little “spying game”

A lengthy white fur being that stood, 6ft having two red stripes covering both arms and legs. Your (h/c) just reached the middle of your back and on your head sat two cream colored pointy horns, you kept your sharp teeth to still be able to scare off unwanted demons if the occasion was to rise

Checking yourself out in the reflection of the glass windows, you made sure everything was correct: your look, your attire and your scent.

You started to walk to the hotel, the sidewalk you have taken at least more than ten times.

As you inched closer to the hotel you for safe measures stopped and sprayed yourself down one more time in cheap perfume emptying the bottle before tossing it off in the distances and kept walking

Getting inside the hotel was an easy task,

You said hello to everyone vaggie, angeldust, sir pentious and his eggo children, huskier and nifty.

‘Everyone is down here practically–well almost everyone’ looking around furrowing your eyebrows together

“Where Charlie? She's usually with you, Vag?” You said to Vaggie who was sitting on the couch next to Angel looking at the TV

“She should be in her office right now Lucy. I think she also wanted to talk to you” Vaggie said kinda nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders towards the end as she looked up from the tv to you as you nodded your head

Making a hum noise you turned on your heel and began walking to Charlie office

Knocking before you entered, Charlie sat at her desk looking at papers

“Helluva morning Charlie. Vaggie was telling me you were looking for me, I just wanted to speak to you about what you wanted” You said as you walked towards her desk and seating down in one of the chairs across from it

Charlie still having her go lucky smile on her face nodded putting down a couple of papers “Yes Vaggie was right! I was looking for you Lucy!” She said pausing as she slide over a little stack of paperwork, “It’s nothing serious promise! I just wanted you to run these up to Al~!”

You nodded silently thanking hell for the opportunity to be closer to Al

“Yeah of course I can do that” You said standing up taking the paperwork in your black gloved hands “Consider it done Charlie!” You said walking out of her office as she screamed a thank you from behind a closed office door

You hummed quietly to yourself as you walked up the flights of stairs to get to Alastor’s door

Minutes passed before you got to the door that read in bold letter

“Alastor, Radio Demon”

Knocking lightly on the door, ‘he should be in there?’

“…”

‘No response..hm that weird’ You thought as you looked over both your shoulders before you placed a gloved hand on your door handle twisting the knob before it opened slowly

!!!CREAAAK!!!

Your body mentally cringed at the noise as you pushed the door more open glancing around one more time you slipped in the crack of his door, gently shutting it closed once you entered

‘Wow’ Was the first word that escaped your mouth looking into his room now, it's his office yes, but what was beyond it that made it almost feel like you were..alive it was the bayou swamp/forest it was just how you remembered before you died all those years ago..breathtaking

Scanning the dimly lit area with the only light being a moonless night and the few fireflies that infested the air, you didn’t see Alastor anywhere in sight, just a table with a chair on it in the middle of the grassy forest.

You bite your lip gently as you looked between the paper work and the forest before groaning knowing your mind was made up, as soon as you laid your eyes on the bayou. Leaving the paperwork for Alastor sitting on his wooden desk before you walked passed it and too the bayou landscape filling as it was almost a dream

Walking slowly into the grassy area with a smile as you breathed in the smell of forest closing your eyes and taking in the sound

It was a wonderful moment of quiet before the light noise of static in the forest made you snap your eyes open,.. that’s Alastor getting closer into range of where you were standing.

Being lucky and hopeful you HOPE he didn’t see you in the clearing just standing their with your eyes closed

You ran and hide behind some bushes and trees that were away from the table and chair you were standing near–and just in the nick of time

You could hear and see him from where you were hiding the full static sound of a certain radio demon as he hummed a tune with a deer slumped dead over on his shoulder, carrying it with ease as he slammed it down on the table, you examined as he sat down making a fork appear out of thin air as he leaned his staff against his chair, before disappearing into air as he began to eat the deer raw pulling at its meat–made you want to gag in disgust

‘He could’ve cooked it’ you thought watching him munch down on his hunt you can assume. Licking his lips after a couple of bites he wiped his mouth with a napkin like a true unhinged gentleman

Before he cleared his throat his eyes shutting but his smile spreading wider, causing you to get goosebumps

“I know your there” He said making you do a double take ‘he knows i am here?’ you thought blinking as you didn’t buy his bluff

“I can sense your presence,” he drawled, his voice dripping with a sinister charm.

“You can’t hide from me.” He opened his crimson eyes as they began scanning the area. You kept your movement still as he scanned over the area you were hiding. You saw how he squinted his eyes almost immediately at the bush you were in

“Come out, come out wherever you are” He sang out in a haunting tone

“You do know as a predator.”He started in a cheery tone before his voice dropped to a dual and deep one “ I can smell you out.” His voice ringing of no radio filter

Your heart began to sped up

‘fffuck’ Is what you thought before you seen Alastor disappear into thin air—it wasn’t a surprise you were accustomed to that but you couldn’t help your heart starting to speed up as he vanished into the air

“Run,” a disembodied whisper breathed against your nape

Took you no time of convincing as you ran not looking behind you as you kept your eyes forward only hearing the sound of something chasing behind,

You hit left and right, hoping to get Alastor off of you

As you take another right you ran behind a tree, hiding behind its figure as you heard and felt Alastor run pass you

You have never done something like this, it was rather fun but dangering

Peaking your head from behind the tree after what felt like entirety you didn’t see Alastor for safe measures you transformed yourself to a small forest animal, just in case Alastor wants to sneak behind you..again

Following near your foot trail from the tree branches, you jumped from branch to branch with ease as you stopped once more hearing static noise come from nowhere, you smirked in your creature form as Alastor wouldn’t suspect a thing

Watching from above, his form essentially appeared from thin air as he had a wide smirk and a look of hunger in his eyes as he looked at the spot you were suppose to be standing

“Where are you~?” He said

“…”

After a moment of looking in all the places he would expect and assume for someone to hide, he stood in the middle of the forest arms crossed as his ears flickered now and then

“Now where did they go? I was rather hungrier for something other than deer” He said you can tell by his voice he was almost dumb struck how could he still be able to smell you but your nowhere near..weird?

You slowly shifted yourself backwards away from Alastor as you didn’t want to alarm him nor give away your hiding, you were almost clear before a vibration was felt throughout the branch and in one second the branch snapped as you land ontop of Alastor head

“...”

It was quiet not either one of you dared to move before you felt your body being picked up fully by his hand and now..the jig was up

“What do we have here..” He said looking at you “A small diversion from the person thats in here?”Alastor’s gaze bore into you, dissecting your very essence.

A wicked glint in his eyes began to take place, “Well I guess since I couldn't catch my actual food, I shall eat you little one” Pausing to smug smile before continuing “Bad luck for you?~” He said as he lifted you above his mouth

You squirmed in his hands, heart racing.

‘This can’t be how (y/n)'s story ends’, you thought desperately.

Just as he was about to drop you into his abyssal maw, you shifted—your disguise falling away

You landed on top of Alastor, who staggered back, utterly unprepared.

“Don’t eat me,” you blurted out, adrenaline surging. Alastor stood, bemusement etching his features.

“Lucy?!” Alastor’s voice crackled through the air, a radio filter distorting his words. The static hummed, raising the hairs on your arms.

“Why are you in here?” His step was deliberate, menacing. You retreated, heart pounding.

“How did you make yourself appear small? Then big?” His eyes narrowed, dissecting you. Each step he took, you mirrored, until your back pressed against a tree—literally.

Your mind raced for a lie, an escape. But then it happened—the slip up, the unraveling.

You shifted into your true form, the one Alastor would recognized.

“(Y/N)?!” His voice lost the radio filter, and you met his gaze. Confusion etched his features. You bit your bottom lip, a awkward laugh escaping.

“Erm, surprise…?” You said as you watched him back up a little from you a smile now spreading wider by the minute as the static was the buzz in the air

As it was overtook by the applause he started to emitted as he turned the other way starting to laugh

“A surprise indeed dearie who would’ve know my wife could pull such a thing off” He started.. you didn’t like how this was sounding as you moved away from the tree watching him as he created slight distances between him and yourself

You watched as a nagging feeling was telling you to start running but ignoring that you spoke up “Alastor I-” He cut you off with his words

As he appeared behind you—the Radio Demon, with crimson eyes and a dangerous smile. His arm encircled your waist, pulling you closer. “You had the entire hotel convinced of this Lucy woman,” he murmured, his voice devoid of filters. “Bravo, dearie. Truly bravo.”

You didn’t like how he was taking the situation as what he said to you in a flare voice on confirmed how much you actually DID piss off Alastor with this little disguise

“You should run now.”

Those four words holding a threat of the unknown and you wanting to at least talk for yourself turned to face Alastor his crimson eyes only reflecting the pure chaos he was about to inflict on this game of catch with you, as you shook your head

“Please let me explain” You urged, desperation coloring your voice.

“5” Alastor your dear husband replied, holding out his hand. The air crackled with tension

“Al please—…”

“4..” He sung out as he closed his eyes, standing tall. One hand rested behind his back, the other poised like a pendulum. The smile of him showing his sharp teeth made you swallow harshly

“3” He warned out to you knowing your still there as he opened one eye to look at you breathing out short “Hmm..a shame your going to let me catch you so easy” He said shutting his open eye closed

“2 dearie” He warned out now holding two fingers as he began to shift in his stances his neck elongated he was slowly shifting into his demon form, and that’s when you finally decide to run

You huffed and panted as you switched your form a couple of times to give you longer distances away from Alastor as you made it deeper into the Bayou the ground under you turning slightly squishy as you kept running not interested to turn around

You ran for what felt like hours before you stopped down near a swamp bank hunched on you knees as you gain your second wind, taking a few more breathes you stood up, the air was quiet you couldn’t hear the static of Al, so you have to be far from him? or he just turned off that noise so he could stalk and pounce on you

Whatever the case maybe you took a breathe in and out as you looked ahead of the lake, nothing but more forest—

You thought different ideas like turning into a winged creature and flying back towards the rooms door to get out of here, but you didn’t know how high you could fly and since Alastor can’t fly nor has wings, you doubt that celling is high enough to get high enough where he couldn’t hit you out of air

Best option was to keep running or go into the swamp water, it would give you better opportunity, reflecting your options about it you heard the ground beneath you move with vibrations ‘fuck he already found me’ you thought coming to the defeat you were going to let yourself be caught but that was until you seen that fucken demon form mere seconds before he seen you, you bailed out dipping yourself slowly in the cold water taking a big breathe before dunking yourself under

Seconds stretched into eternity as you held your breath, your lungs screaming for release. The vibrations in the ground intensified, and you knew he was near. What was Alastor going to do when he catched you? He wouldn’t actually hurt his wife? You thought of as your heart hammered against your ribs, and you wondered if you should be actually concerned

Alastor scanned the area, seeking his dear wife. You pressed deeper into the water, your head submerged further, only the top part of your head concealed by a stray lilypad.

Minutes passed—or perhaps it was mere seconds—before you surfaced. Gasping for air, you wiped water from your eyes. Alastor wasn’t in sight.

You continued walk towards the edge of the pond before crawling out of the pond, lying down on the edge of it your knees still submerged as you sighed out in relief, shutting your eyes for what felt like a second

Before you heard, the clearing of a throat—a sound that sent shivers down your spine. Opening your eyes standing above you was the oh-so-familiar radio demon. You smiled, but before you could vanish into the water, Alastor’s grip closed around your arms. His purr was a velvet blade against your skin.

“Come now, darling,” he drawled, his tone deceiving. “We don’t want you to get wet. Let me assist you in this rather…exchange.” His strength pulled you back, and you squirmed, defiance flaring. But Alastor was stronger, and you found yourself pressed against his chest, dripping and caught.

“Let go,” you demanded, but he only laughed—a predator savoring its prey

“Now, dear, this is part of the game.” His eyes bore into yours, crimson flames dancing. “I’ve caught you, and now you’ll be the prize I win.” His tongue flicked across his lips

As Alastor carried you through the forest he hummed a simple tone, making you more on edge

You both arrived at another clearing?

“This isn’t where we started Al” You said as he set you down, gently helping you get up, as your eyes shifted from the scenery to him

Alastor’s gaze was going up and down on you, as you caught little symbols manifesting themselves around him as he was now a step or two away from you

“Come here” He said in a commanding tone, a chain manifesting around your neck as your eyes widen to metal chain outline with the color of green. Your hands immediately shot to your neck trying to grip and claw at it. You felt a tug come towards Al before you leaned your body away from it trying to keep space, digging your feet lightly in the ground

One real yank got you to move forward unprepared, the earth meant your face very quick and you instantly felt blood in your mouth

“Ah, be good for me, Y/N, and just obey,” he murmured, his grip unyielding. You crawled on your knees and hands, inching closer to him. The chain around your neck tightened, lifting you off the ground. Alastor’s crimson eyes bore into yours.

“My dear sweet little wife, Y/N,” he drawled, his voice devoid of filters. Each word carried weight, punctuated by his southern accent. “You, dearie, violated our little agreement.” His fingers traced the chain. “We had an understanding, did we not?”

Your breaths came in ragged gasps. “I didn’t mean to Al” you whispered

His chuckle echoed through the clearing as he lowered you gently to the ground, ensuring the fall didn’t harm you.

“So, my doe,” he began, his voice a velvet blade, “please give me an explanation. Why has my wife been running around disguised as a Lucy person, working—” His fingers closed around your hands, the chain that had bound you vanishing into thin air. “Her dear, softly delicate hands at a hotel that deserves none of her attention?” His words hung in the air, a question wrapped in menace. “Rather than be in a manor that belongs to her and her husband? Have I done something wrong?”

You sighed out as you nodded taking your hands out of his, to his displeasure “All this started because i heard you mumble in your sleep rather a month or so ago..princess name Charlie” You said with embarrassment flaming your checks as you looked away from Alastor not wanting to know what expression he held

The air was quiet between the both of you, not a word was spoken—You felt like you were holding your breathe with the tension in the air before you felt the touch of your husband on your hands again

“Mon cher~” He purred out making you look at him, his face of course held a wide smile but the look in his eyes held anger with something else glimmering around it “Nothing could replace you”

“No hotel” He said his hand holding out your arm as he kissed at the palm before saying, “No demon” Alastor continued raising his head kissing you at the center of your arm, looking at you in the eyes before kissing more up your arm while saying “And certainly no Lucifer daughter could take my eye off of something as ravishing as you my doe~” Al kissing up you between each pause as he at your neck slowly peaking at it having you basically in his lap with your back towards him, as you moved your head to side to let him continue as he only chuckle at the gesture

Al with his free hand grabbing at your chin to make you look at him as he stared into your (e/c) “But my dear mon cher, you agree at my words as if you understand, but it seems as though you forgotten who I belong too” He said letting go of your chin as both of his hands traveled down to your hips resting there “You forget who's name causes thrill of different emotions within me, so let me remind you~”

Alastor leaned into you, as you meant him half way kissing him

A passionate kiss with some underline aggression made the kiss much more thrilling as Alastor fought for dominance with you trying to dominate over him

With a deep chuckle he pulled away from the kiss, “You being defiant won’t end well for you dear” You looked up too him as you bite your lower lip holding on too his bow tie slowly undoing it as his hands trailed up and down your legs

“No words so be it” He shrugged before pushing you down to the ground, your back laying on the grass as he spread your legs open wide, everything on full display for him to see

He leaned his head down as his ears pushed back towards his head as his eyes half lidded looking up to a red face you “Mm~Darling your so intoxicating with that look on your face” He said before plunging his head down open his mouth before eating your pussy

Your eyes shut closed as your hands went immediately to his hair gripping and pulling at it, as you mumbled out moans holding onto Alastor head down as he kept eating you out

“Al~!” You said in low moan as you felt yourself starting to come undone down there “Alastor..I..I am going to—”

Before you could muster and get out the words to warn your husband, the sensation of Alastor mouth moved away from you leaving you in almost blank state, so close to clarity but yet so far …

You whimpered as you looked down to Alastor who’s face was smirking as he shook his head licking his lips slightly “You think after the charade you pulled your going to get to cum that quick and easily?” He said and laughed “Dearie we are just starting.”

Alastor in a instances flipped you over making you rise to all fours with help of his shadows tendrils you were now ass up face down, with your arms being held down by the shadows tendrils, you whimpered trying to move against them as you felt a burning sensation on your bottom causing you to move it from side to side

Alastor watched in trans like state as you moved your ass after he smacked it only making his boner go harder, as he rub on it through his pants

“Al, let me out of this! I don’t want to be—Ahh~!”You said feeling a familiar feeling slide in you as your eyes rolled behind you, you clawed at the grass alastor pushed all himself in you

“Mmm~There you go Mon Cher~” Alastor said rolling his hips as his head tilted backwards, both of his hands gripping on your hips keeping them in place as he began slowly pumping in and out of you

You moaned as you moved with his thrusts, arching your back as Al grunts and low moans could be heard

Alastor started to pick up in speed as you could only speak out the simple word “Al~” Which was music to the radio demons ears

“Oh (Y/n)~” He said as he kept up fast with his thrusts moving one his hand to your hair, gripping at it pulling you backwards as your head flung back

“Open your eyes.” He said making you slowly open your eyes as meant with the eyes of crimson red ones as his smile was deceiving as his eyes showed pure lust that was feeling “Fuck.” He said as gripped tighter on your hair yanking almost at the root as you moaned with each thrust

“I am going to finish in you.” He said in not a question but as a command as you tighten around him bring him closer as he shut his eyes letting go of your hair before opening his mouth and bitting at the back of your neck as you moaned closing your eyes feeling yourself reaching edge as you reached climax sametime as Alastor

Couple months later drawed by quick before you knew it you were back at the manor, watching over Al’s territory sipping tea as you smiled mindlessly, yeah there was really nothing to worry about.

FIN!!!

Extra! Extra!

(Y/n) and Al strolling through the park. hand in hand as Al hums a tune

Al: “I do say mon cher, I think I never told you why I was saying Charlie's name”

Y/n: “Yeah you haven’t, do share”

Al: “You wouldn’t believe it! Charlie in my dream was trying to paint my Radio Studio, it was all going to be rainbows with fluffy pink unicorns if I didn’t say her name”

Y/n: deadpans

Al: Only telling you the truth dearie~!sings out

Y/n: Your truth is utter dogshit sometimes

Al: gasp Darling!

527 notes · View notes

drchucktingle · 28 days

Note

wait now i am curious! out of the following places where would you have a casual meal with a fan? dairy queen, mcdonalds, burger king, wendys, arbys, jacks, jack in the box, hardees, carl jrs, or subway? (note hardees/carl jrs are same thing but different sides of the US. jacks and jack in the box are different, but also limited by being eastern or western us)

honestly i am not a hardcore ANTI FAST FOOD buckaroo or anything, buds can eat what they want, but none of these. mostly because they do not have nearly enough vegetarian options at any of these restaurants. some are finally trotting out impossible or beyond burgers but thats still not a lot of work with.

also they all serve food that is a little too messy for the mask

in perfect world i would say, for DINNER WITH A FAN, i would probably trot to sushi with good vegetarian options (there are very good vegan sushi places in city of devils that chuck trots to). and rolls that are small enough to get a LITTLE soy sauce and wasabee goin and then i can pop that in my mouth without making too much of a mess.

#buckaroo lifestyle

406 notes · View notes

banamine-bananime · 26 days

Note

Growing up I lived in an area with a lot of cattle farming and I was very scared of the cows. Do you have any cool facts that will make me either more or less afraid of cows?

oh hmm let me think on that!

facts related to how to interact with cows so all parties feel and stay safe:

they have a very prey herd animal mentality. they want to move with their herdmates. they want to watch any potential threats like people and move away from them. they don't like loud or unfamiliar noises (they're sensitive souls. sometimes if i visit a dairy wearing waterproof coveralls where the cows are only used to people wearing cotton coveralls, just the whisper of waterproof pants rubbing against each other can spook them) or abrupt movements or going into areas they can't see well (and they have difficulty with depth perception due to their wide-set eyes for 300 degree vision, and with high-contrast, so going from sun into shade or vice versa can look like stepping into a white or black void for them and they don't like it)

based on this, we know the keys to low-stress cattle handling are consistency in how you interact with them, calmness (small movements, quiet words to let them know you're there), moving cows in groups big enough to have friends but small enough you can control the whole group without them milling around or the ones in front stopping and causing a traffic jam, and slowly moving them by just barely getting in their "bubble" of "whoa, you're a little too close for comfort, i'm going to move in the other direction" without ever getting into their "YIKES RUN AWAY FROM THIS THING" bubble

the last point involves understanding pressure and flight zones and point of balance:

from Mississippi State University Extension:

from grandin.com (highly recommend as a source of information about animal behaviour and welfare!!! temple grandin my idol since i was like nine i love her so. and i tear up when i think about how much she's done for millions of animals ;_; she's a genius and no lie revolutionized low-stress handling):

pet cows that get doted on enough to bond with people may not see people as a threat so the normal ways we use pressure zones to iinteract with cows don't necessarily do anything for them. you would lead them more like a horse, using a halter. or lure them with treats.

beef cows typically have little contact with people, often just processing (vaccines, preg checks, quick exam for any health problems) a couple times a year, so they can be very wild. doesn't mean they're aggressive, the overwhelming majority are non-aggressive but they have very large flight zones, so if you don't recognize that and approach too quickly, getting deep in their flight zone, that can get you into a dangerous situation where they get aggressive as a last resort. that said, they do usually still choose flight unless their calf is with them. "never get between mom and baby" applies as it does with any species

dairy cows are in between beef cows and pet cows. they interact with people regularly, several times per day, and it's respectful but not doting. kind of a business relationship with their handlers. they're not terrified of people by any means, but they haven't been, like, hand-fed treats to get over their instinctive wariness of potential-predator-like animals, and they know sometimes handling results in unpleasant experiences like medical treatment or pregnancy checks, so they avoid touch and have a flight zone, though it's small (and sometimes they'll calmly let you walk right up to them unrestrained, or approach you and lick you out of curiosity). very very rare to have an aggressive dairy cow (as in, one that attacks you instead of moving away when you're bothering them a little. really bothering them and ignoring body language when they can't move away is much more likely to get you kicked)

bulls are not docile. not every bull will be aggressive, but you should assume that every bull has the capacity to become aggressive with little provocation, and always keep a respectful distance and know your escape route if you have to be in a pen or field with them

cows love exploring with their tongues. any time you're in a dairy barn there's gonna be at least one friendly girl mlem mlem mlemming who won't leave you alone

adding on to the above, there is a slight caveat that you still have to be a LITTLE wary of friendly cows. 99% of the time they're just friendly but sometimes cows in heat will try to mount people. you don't have to be scared of friendly cows but if they're right next to you just keep them in your line of sight so you can move away if they make like they're going to mount. again, not common, never happened to me, but something to be aware of

signs of a happy, relaxed cow: lying down, chewing cud or eating, tail hanging down relaxed, moving slowly with her herd

signs of a slightly wary cow (you have entered the "pressure zone"): standing still/stopping what she's doing, turning towards you, ears turning towards you (watching the ears is a very good way of knowing what she's paying attention to), tail swishing or raised a bit away from body

signs of a distressed cow: vocalizing (they also moo for other reasons though), tail swishing, fidgeting/pawing/looking like she wants to move but doesn't know where to, freezing up and intermittently making erratic movements (back away a little)

signs of an aggressive cow: head down with attention on you, pawing ground, turning to show you their broad side. (turn sideways and calmly but swiftly walk away diagonally)

#cattle #veterinary

263 notes · View notes

systlin · 11 months

Note

People that are absolutely convinced anyone can be vegan/vegetarian baffle me. I eat meat fairly regularly and I am already courting a B12 deficiency (for anyone who doesn't know the easiest source of B12 that the human body likes to absorb is red meat, you can get it from other sources primarily leafy greens I believe but your not getting as much because it's not as easy for your body to absorb) my levels aren't low enough to be considered clinically deficient but it's a near thing so my doctor has told me to take 2 B12 vitamins every day. I'm hoping this fixes my levels because if it doesn't that's a sign of a much more serious problem where my digestive system is biologically struggling to absorb B12

Gods, I feel you

When I got my Chron's diagnosis, the gastroenterologist and I talked about diet. High fiber is my enemy. I'm mostly OK now thanks to maintenance medication, but even now I can't have more than a single handful of nuts or popcorn without Suffering after. Raw vegetables are iffy; I can eat a couple of radishes or carrot sticks, but celery sets it off and raw broccoli or cauliflower is misery. I can have ONE small bowl of salad a day, which sucks because I LOVE salad. I have to be careful to limit servings of raw fruit, which also sucks because I adore cherries and pears and peaches.

Cooked vegetables are mostly fine, though I still have to keep the broccoli and brussels sprouts servings small. Cooked fruit is fine too. Beans are iffy. I can have some, but not a lot, which sucks because I love beans. Tofu is OK, but during my flare it gave me worse gas.

During a flare, my safe foods were cheese, meat, eggs, milk, fruit juice, vegetable juice, white bread, and cream of wheat. It was a fucking nightmare to try and get all the nutrients into me that I need. You will note that most of these are in fact animal products. I was under literal medical orders to keep the hell away from non-juiced fruits and vegetables.

Of course, a bunch of people came out of the woodwork to tell me that I could heal myself by cutting out all dairy and wheat and going vegan/raw vegan. People still do this regularly. I've deleted ten out of my inbox since yesterday.

If I tried to go vegan, it would be very, very rough on my traitor-ass large intestine and would probably send me into a flare. If I tried to go RAW vegan, it would probably mean surgery and might kill me.

973 notes · View notes

smute · 2 months

Text

random hill to die on and i could honestly make a 3 hour viddy essay about this but here's the short version: "save some pasta water for binding your sauce" is probably one of the most misunderstood cooking tips ever. yes, its an old trick and yes, its something that can be helpful under very specific circumstances but at this point almost every pasta recipe i come across seems to mention some variation of it and in most cases it's complete nonsense.

firstable, let me explain where it doesnt work: adding pasta water to a random sauce (tomato for instance) will not make it thicker. whatever miniscule amount of starch you're gonna have in there wont make a difference when you're also adding ladlefuls of water at the same time. its pasta water not cornstarch slurry. and thats not something you want in your tomato sauce anyway. tomato paste is an excellent emulsifier all on its own (along with egg yolks, mustard, butter, cream, milk, and many other dairy products) so in order to thicken a tomato-based sauce you have exactly two options: evaporation or more tomato paste, which basically amounts to the same thing: less water, more everything else.

pasta water on the other hand can be useful for diluting a sauce (tomato or otherwise) that has been cooked down too much. while adding wine or juices (or just plain water) for deglazing makes sense at the beginning of the cooking process, watery things added to an almost finished sauce will simply... water it down (duh) and (in the case of wine, vinegar, etc) introduce unwanted raw flavors. there's also a good chance that cold liquids won't mix well with the sauce and ruin the consistency. for this, broth works very well, but pasta water would be a more neutral option flavor-wise. the salt and temperature honestly make the biggest difference here. plus, pasta water is something you're probably gonna have on hand anyway as you will likely be boiling your pasta shortly before serving.

the same goes for loosening any other emulsion, like an emulsified butter sauce or carbonara for example. this shouldn't be necessary but if your egg and cheese mixture clings to the pasta a little too much and everything just clumps together, a small (!!!) amount of pasta water can help the sauce reach a creamier consistency without diluting the overall flavor too much.

however. the Pasta Water Trick (TM) that everyone talks about but so few recipes seem to get right goes like this: you finish cooking your pasta in the sauce and you also add a little bit of pasta water to that mixture. a single cooked spaghetto will probably yield more starch than an entire cup of pasta water, and cooking your starchy pasta for a minute (or just tossing it) in the finished sauce will make a huge difference for the consistency. that alone can be enough, you can stop right there. but now you run the risk of binding too much liquid. this is where the pasta water comes in. it's hot, salty, starchy, and it's right there on the stove, so it's perfect for making sure your sauce doesn't disappear completely. THATS ALL

btw. all of this works a lot better with fresh pasta and a lower water to pasta ratio. fresh pasta gives off more starch than dried pasta, and it works even better with homemade pasta that's still covered in flour. the cloudier the water the better.

in any case, pasta water = a little bit of starch + a whole lot of water (and salt). thats why it only makes sense to use it in situations where you need both the starch AND the extra liquid (and salt) or if you know that you'll evaporate most of it later on. think of pasta water as a better alternative to cold water or as something that you can use when you dont have any other cooking liquids on hand. and always keep the salt in mind.

tl;dr: pasta water can be a useful tool for emulsification but if anything it's a thinning agent rather than a thickening agent.

#smute: ''here's the short version'' *writes one million paragraphs*#anyway #needed to get this off my chest #&

153 notes · View notes

bleubrri · 1 year

Text

grocery shoppin’ baby-time fluff with bo \^o^/

before you even turn onto the aisle, you can hear your daughter squealing with laughter. bokuto is crouched in front of the cart, meticulously balancing an absurd amount of blueberry yogurt pots in his arms which she apparently finds hilarious. her heels kick back against the metal below her seat and the whole cart jolts from her excitement.

you stroll up, a poorly subdued smile etched onto your lips as your boyfriend struggles to clear the last few from the shelf.

“you realise we’re not buying all that, right?”

kotarous eyes dart up to where you’re leaning against the cart, smoothing your fingers over your baby’s hair. he pouts, yogurt tucked under his chin as he stands to face you, “it’s her favourite.”

you chuckle, reaching for one of the packs cradled in his arms. “last week her favourite was peach-mango. and the week before, she would rather throw yogurt in your face than eat it.”

bokuto counters your argument, “okay that was once, and i’ve got a feeling blueberry is the new wave. trust me on this, babe.” he grins at his little girl, babbling and waving her fists in agreement. you’re unconvinced.

you smirk, remembering empty yogurt pots littering his desk and berry flavoured kisses when he’d pick you up in the mornings. “oh yeah, whys that?”

bo puffs out his chest, strides over to your place beside the cart and confidently unloads his haul with the rest of the groceries. (which—now that you’re looking— seem to have been given a similar treatment, if the months supply of cereal boxes and apocalypse-prep level of crackers are anything to go by).

“because,” he drawls, “it’s in her blood! right, muffin?” he blinks expectantly at your daughter, who kicks her heels even more fiercely and giggles up at her daddy.

bokuto beams, scooping your little bundle of sunshine into his arms, turning to you with her perched on his hip and a smug smile on his face. “see?”

you roll your eyes playfully, reaching out to tickle the rounded tummy underneath her dungarees, “okay traitor, majority rules.” and dropping the pack that you’d swiped into the cart.

you watch with a droopy gaze as he spins her around in triumph, bubbly laughter filling the aisle and your heart squeezing in your chest. oh, you love them so much. you wonder if she’ll ever comprehend it, if he could ever understand all that he’s given you. you think you could burst into tears right here, feel your heart melt under your ribs and pool out at your fingertips right in the dairy aisle, watching bokuto babble nonsense at your baby like it’s the most important thing in the world.

he nods solemnly, leaning in to whisper, “tell mama we got the cookies she likes.”

you laugh, reaching out at the grabby hands made in your direction. “let’s get out of here before you two bankrupt us.”

“how could you do this to me?” bokuto whines, chin against the table and shoulders slumped in defeat.

you fight the smile that wants to emerge as you spoon the last of the yogurt into your daughters mouth. the dinner table has a pile of unopened yogurt packs in the corner, and a much larger trail of empty pots surrounding where bokuto slumps. he looks expectantly at the little girl perched in her high chair with strawberry-banana residue smeared onto her cheeks. she claps her hands and gurgles.

you make a show of wiping her down and chattering to her, “wasn’t that yummy! shall we try a new one tomorrow, hm?”

kotarou drops his forehead to the table with a resounding thud, muttering to himself, “i think i’m gonna throw up..”

even when she gets a little older and will eat most flavours without much fuss, there’s the odd pot of blueberry that remains untouched until after her dinner, when she’ll proudly deposit it in front of bokutos place and state that “daddy can eat it!”

he doesn’t have the heart to refuse her. he accepts it with vigour, “oh you treasure! thank you for sharing, baby.” and spoons down every mouthful as she watches him with glittering eyes that match his own. it’ll never fail to make you laugh when she totters off and his face drops into a groan, pushing the infernal blue pot as far away as possible.

#self indulgence time #i love that big beefy sunshine boy #˚⁀➷｡˚ selfships !#｡･:*:･ﾟ★ bokutoverse #bokuto x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #bokuto x you #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #bokuto koutaro x reader

721 notes · View notes

derpinette · 10 months

Text

i put raw cow's milk in my hair yesterday & it came out so shiny & fabulous & soft & wavy ^_^

#where would i be without dairy #long time not using that tag #& i made homemade cheese it came out kind of bitter thou:-/#i have 0 energy for making butter no way am i shaking a jug for fifteen continuous minutes or whatever i am but 1 Bone #cow's milk is so amazing the lactose taste is out of this world i could drink 1 million gallons of it for breakfast lunch & dinner #i have a screenshot from /ck/ where it says something like ''i stopped eating. just drink this all day'' literally me so much #my classmate told me that she had actually had milk for every meal but she also told me she was born on the same day #& same hospital as me ( we were around 7 when she told me this BTW ) & that she remembered seeing me as a newborn #but then she invited me to mcdonalds for her birthday which was in march in the third grade. & i still have the gift(s) from the party #my ends were screaming for moisture before this & i saved them with the power of Milk

13 notes · View notes

tyxoxo · 11 months

Note

ohhh in that case, can i request poly relationship with jeno and jaemin + double penetration? and maybe both of them being really touchy with each other

warnings: fruity nomin, dp, anal, rimming, oral (f&m receiving), pussy slapping, fingering, degrading, butt plugs

a/n: this is vastly different from what i envisioned in my head, which isn’t a bad thing. i just had 2 different versions sitting in my docs, contemplating on which one to follow through with. and i decided to go out of my comfort zone and choose the one with a lil’ crack. hope you enjoy!!

@n0hyuck bless u boo! 🫶🏾

Jeno and Jaemin couldn’t hide the shock on their faces, in fact, they were flabbergasted.

You had just suggested to try out their most sought out fantasy, without even knowing.

“Wait, are you serious?” Jeno eyed your lips, making sure he read them right. Meanwhile, Jaemin began to salivate, knowing he heard you right.

“Yeah! I mean… I know how much you love anal, and I know how much you love creampies, so why not?”

You pointed with your head as the three of you sat along the love seat, labeling Jeno for the former and Jaemin for the latter.

“Okay but babe, you do realize that’s a tight fit, especially for two holes?!” Jaemin held up the number 2 sign in front of his face, being careful to not drop his bowl of ice cream that he purposefully let melt before taking a spoonful.

“I knowww, but…I wanna try. I don’t care if I have to tap out or take breaks. As long as I try, i’m happy. Wouldn’t you be too?”

You turned your head back and forth rather violently, searching their expressions for any sort of giving. Praying that they would atleast try this with you.

Something told you in the pit of your stomach that they were only acting surprised for the sake of not blowing their devious cover. There were too many times to count that you suggested trying something new and hearing a flurry of questions about “where this came about?” Only to discover later that they were waiting on you to make the first move.

None of this meant they weren’t experimental. It just meant that they were verifying that you were sure you wanted to take both of their huge cocks at the same time…or indulge in any other wild fantasy that crossed your mind.

Jeno paused upon taking his third bite of his ice cream, lips barely touching the cold, metal utensil. You kept your eyes trained on your pup boyfriend, watching as he leaned forward to look past you and at the bunny that was to your left.

“Are we deciding or are we just gonna sit here and stuff our faces full of ice cream?”

You broke the silence, head falling backwards in an annoyed sigh. Maybe this is where they drew the line. But based on the amount of times you all spooned together, sweat slicked bodies kissing sloppily on your shared bed,

how was this any different, besides the addition of some double penetration.

“We’ll do it.” Jaemin made the final call, holding in a smug grin as he slurped his Neapolitan ice cream straight from the bowl.

“What! Really?!” You jumped in your seat, causing Jeno to clutch his bowl for dear life, in fear of spilling his dairy treat.

“Yes, now go get yourself ready. You’ll need all the preparation you can get.” Jeno’s tone had turned serious, reminding you that this wouldn’t be a walk in the park.

You hurriedly rose from the couch, grabbing your long finished bowl of ice cream to put in the kitchen sink.

“Okay!! Give me twenty!!” You yelled, the last bit of your sentence turning into a yelp upon Jeno giving a harsh slap to your ass as you skipped off to the kitchen.

The rush of adrenaline would only grow bigger the more you prepared. And hopefully it would be enough to drown out your embarrassment if this ended up being a massive fail.

—

As soon as you closed the door to your shared bedroom, you darted towards the chest that was always kept underneath the bed. In it, was an assortment of toys, collars, and most pertinent to tonight’s events, butt plugs.

Over the months of making things official with this “whole throuple thing”, it only took a few weeks to train yourself up to the various sizes of plugs. Even with three inches in diameter being the largest, it was nowhere near the girth of your partners, not by a long shot. And trying to find anything larger proved futile, even with the help of Jeno’s advanced internet surfing skills.

You rummaged through the box, eventually grabbing the glimmering metal toy. All five of them adorned a heart shape at the base, with rose gold being the unanimous color of choice for every single one.

You tugged along your bottom lip, heart dropping into your stomach at the realization that this was really happening; that they would stuff both your holes full tonight.

With a firm grip on the toy, you powerwalked out of the room to the bathroom, beginning your prep that had no guarantee of being 100% advantageous, but the least you could do was keep the positivity alive,

for your asshole’s sake.

By the time you finished, it was well past twenty minutes. But it was worth it. You did all of the proper washing, and freshening up, in addition to welcoming the toy inside your puckering hole.

You hoped that Jeno or Jaemin didn’t hear you gasp from the pressure as you inserted it slowly. But considering the Shonen anime blasting from the living room tv, you were drowned out accordingly.

With a brief, mental pep talk, you stood up quickly to force yourself through the initial discomfort. Staring at your now-naked figure in the mirror helped the tightness subside, albeit at a snail’s pace.

The amount of times you jogged through the house at times like these were too many to recall, but it was all part of your jittery excitement. Jaemin was the first to notice you frolic back to the bedroom with your clothes in hand, slamming the bedroom door to get their attention.

He nudged Jeno square in the oblique, dragging his boyfriend’s attention from yet another anime opening.

“She is something else…” Jaemin chuckled with a shake of his head, even rubbing his eyes to accentuate his amusement.

“Well I hope she’s ready. It’s been well over twenty minutes and i’m catching blue balls just sitting here…” Jeno palmed himself, veins tensing along the hand that he used to pat down his obvious boner.

He sounded annoyed, but all in good fun, or atleast Jaemin hoped so. Because otherwise, he would split you in half if another minute passed.

“I think she’s good now. Let’s go check.”

Jaemin grabbed the remote, turning off the tv while Jeno headed down the hall to the bedroom. The bunny followed close behind, eyes lowering to view his pups tiny waist that flashed through his oversized tank top.

Upon opening the door, their mouths almost dropped. You were already getting to work, legs butterflied out on the king sized mattress: one hand rubbing along your clit and the other tugging at your raised nipple with every subtle roll of your hips.

Jeno and Jaemin always took a moment to bless their investment in a huge mattress, allowing all sorts of fun to be had without the worry of tumbling overboard.

You felt the bed dip from both of their weights combined, smiling with your eyes closed to let your wild imagination run free. Just like you guessed, it seemed that Jeno was the one to your left, attacking your chest with open-mouthed kisses and fiery touches. You could tell just by the coarseness of his fingertips, roughed up from hours of practicing guitar.

Your back arched into his suckling lips, and even further into Jaemin’s touch as he cupped your cheek, turning you slightly towards him for a searing kiss.

You could still taste the remnants of his ice cream, which was surprising considering the time had passed. But based on his love for the dessert, there was no doubt he went for back seconds in that timeframe.

You moaned into his mouth, feeling cooled off from the iciness of his tongue.

Electric shocks surged from your tummy, all the way down to your core as you felt their hands interlock and make the journey together.

You let their fingers replace yours, raising and swinging your arms back behind their heads to guide them towards your lips.

What followed left you speechless, too breathless to even keep up with their tongues that explored every inch of your mouth. With more than just two people, lip smacking filled the room, maximizing the filth that you loved and craved so much…

The way their combined fingers worked your pussy caused you to pull back for air, chest rising and falling in copious amounts. But you were finally able to see your two treasures, multi-tasking while they devoured each other's mouths.

Saliva began to pool along the corners, spilling past their jawlines and ending up in droplets on your ribs.

Your head fell back, but not without a whine that rang up to the ceiling above.

It was all considered a dream, to be able to witness moments like these. And for them to be so in tune with each other, practically rubbing your clit in the same speed and intensity was enough to make your juices flow onto the sheets below.

Jeno was the one to break the kiss, leaning forward to get a full view of your drenched hole clenching around air, begging to be filled with anything that offered a release.

His clothed cock was poking against your thigh as he lay there watching you wiggle under their united touches; his second head overly eager to move things along. Jeno always had the least amount of patience out of the three, but he could hold out on his aching cock to watch as he buried his fingers deep into your pussy.

He raised his head back up towards you this time, eyes scanning the way you tugged at your bottom lip, the way your eyes screamed “fill me up, please.”

As he descended his tongue to yours, you felt his middle and ring fingers push past your lips, easily sliding inside your wet hole at first. He swallowed the moans that fell from your mouth, tongues darting out consistently to wrap around each other.

Jaemin sucked along your neck, setting as many lovebites as he could while rubbing your clit in circles.

“How does it feel Nono?” Jaemin hummed behind your right ear, kissing anywhere that hadn’t had proper attention.

“Bitch can barely take my fingers.”

Jeno growled into your mouth as he struggled to bury his digits to the knuckle, not even caring if his words weren’t coherent enough for Jaemin to hear through his lustful kisses.

“Let me feel…” The bunny propositioned, wanting to see just how tight you really were.

Jeno obliged, switching places so smoothly, like they had done this exact scenario before.

Jaemin accompanied you now, sliding in slower than Jeno but with just as much enthusiasm.

“You’re so tight love, and we haven’t even seen your pretty little ass. Are you sure you can take us both?” Jaemin cooed against the curve of your armpit, finding more places to plant tender kisses.

You knew all too well that Jaemin wanted his teasing to get to your head; to happily ruin your decorum in exchange for a cum slut that kept begging for more.

“I c-can, I can do it.” Your voice barely came out in a sigh against Jeno’s tongue, feeling your orgasm creeping closer in the depths of your walls.

With the onslaught of pleasure, you felt yourself crumbling between your two treasures. They both quickened their pace, Jeno even slapping your clit in unpredictable bouts of energy.

“Prove it.” Jeno spoke through the harsh slaps, the height of his hand getting higher and higher as you responded to the addictive sting.

They both carried you to your release, with Jaemin adorning a cheeky grin to complement his almighty foreplay. Jeno was already at work undressing himself, keeping his eyes on your climax in the process; not wanting to lose sight of what he considered lewd art.

“Look at the mess you’ve made.” Jaemin brought his drenched fingers up from your core, letting all three of you admire the way his digits shined under the dim light.

Jeno was naked by the time he saw Jaemin play with your juices; his own essence shining along the tip of his cock.

You had just started to come down from your high, breath being swept away yet again upon seeing Jaemin scissor his fingers in midair. Your juices spread like delicious sap, clinging to the webs of his fingers with every alternating motion.

No other words were spoken as Jeno grasped Jaemin’s wrist, bringing his boyfriend’s glistening fingers up to his drooling tongue.

There’s no way you could’ve prepared yourself for that—witnessing Jeno suck Jaemin’s fingers clean like it was tonic. Staring at you with hooded eyes, with a look of pure ecstasy.

The subtle pop as he finished was the last you could recall before a flurry of motions swirled past your body. Jeno managed to flip you onto your stomach within seconds, rushing to get behind you so he could see if your training paid off.

You automatically perked your ass in the air, settling with a downward dog while you waited for Jaemin to undress.

Jeno’s tip kept leaking, like a steady heartbeat now that he saw your butt plug. You’ve worn them before, but it was as if he relived the very first time he ever saw you with it—the rose gold metal and how it sat so perfectly inside you.

absolutely mesmerizing…like it was made for you.

Jeno fell to his knees, hands immediately coming up to knead the soft flesh of your ass. You wiggled your hips in response, along with a subtle whimper from his intense massage. The way you shook it effortlessly, would forever be burned in his mind.

And the way the heart shape sat so snug between your cheeks made him release a guttural growl from deep within.

“So fucking perfect…” He whispered with two matching slaps to your skin, adding another for good measure.

You yelped each time, and a third was yet to be heard as Jaemin was already poking his tip at your mouth.

You were in your own world, for once; somehow missing the fact Jaemin stripped himself naked and positioned himself in front of you.

“How does it look back there?” Jaemin inquired: already knowing the answer. But hearing it would make up for what he missed.

“Fucking incredible.”

Jaemin chuckled upon hearing the expression, always amused by Jeno’s laconic personality. He peered back down to your fragile form, swiping his tip along your lips to get a reaction.

“C’mon, open up.”

It was hard to do as your energizer bunny said, especially when Jeno was pushing your butt plug in and out and at an achingly slow rate. You were sure it was to see how your tight hole contracted at the sudden emptiness, just calling out to be stuffed again.

By the time Jeno sat there probing you at a faster pace, you finally welcomed Jaemin into your mouth.

It was the perfect setup: you throating Jaemin like it was your last night on earth, and Jeno swiping the flat of his tongue from your clit up to your plug, like the savage tease he was.

Each time you moaned on Jaemin’s cock, he thrusted faster, loving your hums of pleasure that surged around every inch.

“I love when you moan on my cock—feels so good.”

His hands explored wherever he could touch, but he found it his favorite to pet the top of your head, admiring your willingness to be facefucked like a whore.

You fought through the jabs against your uvula, trying to keep your eyes staring up at your boyfriend. But the feeling of the plug leaving you for the last time caused that familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach to grow. Jeno’s tongue darted inside your puckering hole, switching the direction of his wet muscle to swirl in circles.

If you managed to cum from just rimming alone, they would never live it down. Maybe even brag to their friends that their cumslut of a girlfriend loved her ass being eaten from behind—an unhealthy amount.

Jaemin was beginning to feel the same high as you, and telling by the lack of rhythm behind his thrusts, he was undeniably close.

His grunts had turned to moans, and a thin sheet of sweat coated his abs like polished gold.

“Jen…please. I need to fuck her, now.”

Usually Jaemin kept his composure, but the need to fill your pussy crept closer to the devil on his shoulder. There was just something about a creampie that he adored so much.

Jeno ignored him, not intentionally.

But he had managed to fight through the tightness in his balls to tongue fuck you…so why stop now?

Jaemin took it upon himself to prop your head up with a single finger, giving you a look that you knew all too well.

Snap Jeno out of his drunken daze.

You backed your mouth off of Jaemin’s length, crying out to Jeno like you had lost your owner.

“Jeno! Please! Fuck me…fuck my ass please!”

Your desperation proved successful, causing him to undergo the transformation that would potentially leave you cock drunk for the rest of your life.

Jeno rose to his feet, choosing to keep the position that would allow him to indulge in your backside as much as he wanted.

Meanwhile, Jaemin laid down on his back, shimmying down until he was eye-level with your breasts.

Based on the fluidity in their movements, there was no way they didn’t have this sitting in the back of their minds for months.

You stayed still through it all, knowing they would guide you like they always did, regardless of their so-called naïveté.

“Spread those legs for me…” Jeno spoke from behind, caressing the back of your thighs as a cue for you to adjust.

Upon his command, you had switched from downward dog to a more simplistic doggy, allowing Jaemin to rest his legs in between yours and hang off the edge of the bed.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Jaemin looked up past your chest, hands squeezing your hips in case of your need for ressaurance.

“Im read-oh fuck!”

Jaemin was the first to enter, to your surprise. You were always caught off guard by his girth, but knowing another stretch was coming, caused your entire body to shake as his groin met yours in a single stroke.

To finally have something, anything inside you after all this time, made you feel as if you were floating, ascending to absolute nirvana.

Jaemin smiled at his own stunt, pride blooming at how delicate you were. His grin continued to spread wider as you struggled to hover your upper half above his own, eventually burying your face into the covers for mental support. You gripped the sheets on both sides of his head, not realizing you could’ve confided in him—rather suffocated him with your breasts squished against his face.

You felt so full.

Jeno was not far behind, first wanting to savor how you reacted to Jaemin’s cock. He knew he would achieve the same results; being just as thick, if not thicker than Jaemin.

“Can’t wait to claim this ass again. All mine.”

His last words still couldn’t have prepared you for this. You jerked forward from the initial burn as he started out slow; but just like you predicted, no amount of training could’ve prepared you for the unique contour of his cock.

For your sake, Jaemin stayed still inside you to the hilt, allowing Jeno to inch further and further inside.

Jeno felt resistance barely a quarter of the way in, much to his liking. He hissed as he came to a stop, knowing it would take a while before you could adjust.

All you could do was breathe through the initial discomfort, knowing the pleasure would come eventually.

“You’re doing great baby, take your time.” Jaemin leaned his head over to the side to touch yours as he continued his praises, affectionate touches aiding in your journey towards an accomplished trial. One that you managed to propose all by yourself.

Jeno was sure he would get yelled at now, as he began to bottom out despite your initial struggle. But somehow, the pain was subsiding quicker than both of you thought.

Your hole accommodated every ridge, every vein, and before you knew it, Jeno had already exited out; only to piston inside you with a powerful grunt.

“Fuckkk. So tight, mmh, can barely move…”

Jeno’s unhinged vocabulary paired well with his harsh slaps to your ass, occasionally adding a death grip to the flesh of your flushed skin.

“Taking both of us so well…”

The stark contrast in Jaemin’s tone and choice of words offered the right amount of balance, causing you to finally set a rhythm for them to follow.

You produced as much strength as you could, managing to suck Jeno further inside each time your cunt met the base of Jaemin’s cock. They returned the same amount of energy, tugging on your skin with each connection that drew you closer to your release.

The sounds of skin slapping from not only two but three bodies filled the room, and soon enough, bed creaking followed.

“Don’t slow down, please don’t stop.”

Jaemin was the one begging now, wanting to chase the satisfaction that almost made him feel unworthy of receiving it.

You were unreal.

Jeno and Jaemin felt beyond lucky to have found someone like you. A total freak that wasn’t afraid to ruin their image if it meant you could get whatever you wanted. And here you were, with two boys that went absolutely feral over you; all the more welcomed to be wrapped around your finger.

“Its t-too much! I’m so close!”

You finally formed the words that had been hidden behind moans the minute you felt your stomach tie itself in knots.

They too felt their respective releases, bound to erupt if you kept up with the pace that you did. Just the mere sight of your thighs quivering, breasts bouncing, and ass jiggling was enough to make that familiar band snap between all three of you.

“I can feel it, goddamn. Keep squeezing, just like that.”

You cried out into the sex-filled air as a whirlwind of euphoria washed over you like a hurricane, collapsing onto Jaemin yet again as you felt white heat shoot inside you from both ends.

Jeno mustered a few more snaps with his hips before you clenched down so hard that his thrusts came to a freezing halt, jaw hanging slack at your ability to get him stuck.

Jaemin shoved himself upwards, tip practically hitting your womb as his cum jetted out in thick spurts.

Your entire body convulsed for what felt like the lapse of a moon, but you wouldn’t trade the response for the world.

The only comprehensible thing now, was getting out of this position without making too much of a mess. But you could always leave it up to them to do your bidding.

Nothing that a bit of cum play wouldn’t fix.

The three of you eventually steadied your breathing within minutes. And you tried to suppress a giggle as you watched Jaemin splay his arms outwards in a surrender, him even matching your cheeky grin.

When you looked back, Jeno seemed to be looking for hints of a round two, still eyeing your backside as if he didn’t just fill you to the brim with a shotglass worth of cum.

“Oh my god. You are exhausting!”

You yelled back at him, rolling your eyes at his unbelievable stamina.

He took it upon himself to give a dumbfounded look, refusing to believe that cleanup and bedtime was in order.

“Whatever…”

He got back at your scolding by exiting you without warning, to which you whined not only from his lack of subtlety but from the slap to your ass cheek that he gave as a parting gift.

Jaemin followed suit but with way less savagery. You purposely gave him a loud peck on the lips before he slid from underneath you; hoping Jeno heard it. And before you could prepare for the wave of cum that would flow from your holes, he jumped on the bed, lips showing an obvious pout.

You remained in all fours as you shook your head in disbelief, deciding to give him a kiss for his great work.

To say your guts were rearranged, was an understatement.

#jeno smut #jeno hard hours #jaemin smut #jaemin hard hours #nct dream smut #nomin smut #jeno x reader #jaemin x reader #request #mxm

594 notes · View notes

m00nlight-ramblings · 5 months

Text

AU Halsin College Boyfriend Headcanon

Requested: yes

Actually obsessed with this AU. Halsin as a college student makes me laugh you know he would be the biggest party animal ever.

This man is playing sports. I see like, football? But could really do any of them. He is a himbo and loves being on a team...his teammates are some of his best friends.

He leaves things in your dorm room, like it's an apartment...clothes, toothbrush, his favorite stuffed bear he loves to sleep with, snacks...

And in turn, he loves having your things at his place. He keeps all of your favorite snacks stocked, and it seems like every time you visit, he has a new little gift for you...slippers, new pjs, etc.

MOVIE NIGHTS. He loooooves watching movies with you, all snuggled in bed after dinner.

If he sees you walking across the quad, he will immediately b-line for you and walk you to your next class, even if it makes him late (its okay, his professors love him).

Be prepared to never carry your books or backpack ever again.

When it's a nice day on campus, he can be found on the lawn with a big group of people, hanging out on blankets and soaking up the sun.

Speaking of "big groups of people"...Halsin is someone who loves to meet all types of people, and is friends with everyone. He doesn't fit in with any clique, and he always invites everyone he knows to sit with him if he sees them in the cafeteria.

You two are known on campus as the College Sweethearts...everyone knows you'll be together forever and live happily ever after.

He somehow has managed to know where you sit every class, and every once and a while, you'll find a little candy/treat/card on your desk when you get into class. Just because.

He is definitely an environment science major.

Halsin throws the biggest and best (definitely most notorious) parties with his friends. I'm talking red solo cups on the lawn, possibly a broken window or two...absolutely wild.

And everyone is invited, of course.

He is not afraid to show PDA to you...stolen kisses in the hallway, holding your hand while you walk...he is proud to call you his partner.

You absolutely have to keep him on track with homework for every class, unless the class involves nature or animals. He has his definite interests, and if it doesn't fall into that category, he thinks there are much better things he could be doing.

Definitely loves weekend naps with you. If he's not at practice or class, he's snuggling with you under the blankets until the sun goes down.

Then, it's date night, which he always plans. Fancy dinners, long drives, the mall, going to museums...he loves doing everything with you.

His favorite drink at a party is a vodka Redbull. It just makes sense.

He makes sure you (and all his friends) have enough water while at house parties. He will NOT let you have a second drink on an empty stomach or without having at least 8 oz of water in between.

He decorates your dorm door for every holiday, to make sure you stay in the holiday spirit, no matter what holiday it is. (And also, just to cheer you up if you're feeling down or stressed with homework).

THE LOUDEST AT GAMES!!! If he's in the stands, he is SCREAMING in support.

You get a "ice cream?" text at least once a week from him at around midnight. Before you can even respond you hear a honk from your window and see him standing outside his car, ready to drive you to Dairy Queen.

Halsin LOVES making you playlists of songs that remind him of you, or ones that he thinks you'd like.

Always reps the college merch - sweatpants, sweatshirts, he loves it. He's proud he's in school!

He definitely chases the ducks at the school pond when he sees them.

#halsin romance #halsin x reader #halsin x tav #bg3 halsin #halsin #halsin x you #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #halsin au #halsin headcanons #halsin headcanon

160 notes · View notes

scientia-rex · 6 months

Text

So if I'm saying not all adult-minor interactions are inherently creepy, and in fact the vast majority of them are genuinely platonic, then what should you look for to decide if something is creepy?

"Why would an adult talk to a minor?" is not a slam dunk. You have friends, family, teachers, coaches, mentors, librarians, acquaintances, people who have the opportunity to enrich your life.

But people who want to take advantage of the specific qualities of youth are very real. Many of them are good at hiding it, though not all. Most teens can think of someone overtly creepy--that guy you know because he works at the local Dairy Queen and always gives your friend extra ice cream and has a sword collection. (Real life example, don't come for me.) And you NEED to be cautious around that level of creep. Don't be alone with them, don't let them give you a ride anywhere, don't give them your contact info if you can possibly help it, tell other people in your life that they creep you out. But some of them are a lot less obvious.

Abusers tend to seek out positions where they will have access to minors. Sometimes that's professional--teachers, coaches. Sometimes it's social--church group leaders, Scout troop leaders, or just hanging out with a group of teens despite being older than all of them. If you have a group of 16-17 year old friends and a guy old enough to buy liquor is hanging out with you, it's not because you're all so mature. It's because he's immature. He doesn't know how to have positive, healthy relationships and friendships with people his age. So he's looking for people who have less emotional maturity who hopefully won't notice his deficits.

And when you're a teenager, it's easy to miss that. I missed it! When I was 17 I started dating a guy who was 25. I thought we had this beautiful, star-crossed love. Except, looking back, he was a tier 1 loser. He didn't have anything going for him. He wasn't trying to grow as a person or learn or get better. He was wallowing in his untreated depression and substance use, and fucking a 17-year-old made him briefly feel better about himself. That was not love. It couldn't be. We were at points in our lives that should have been wildly different. We didn't have anything real in common, just sex--because I was, at 17, horny, which is normal and okay! But exploring that with HIM? Big mistake.

"Why would an adult form a romantic relationship with a minor?" Because they're looking for someone they can manipulate into getting everything they want and give nothing back.

The rule of 7 isn't perfect, but it's a decent rule of thumb: take your age, divide by 2, and add 7. That's the youngest you can date without being definitely pretty creepy. So at 40, I could potentially date a 27 year old--but I gotta tell you, even the people I know in their early 30s seem pretty young to me! So your mileage may vary. But if you're 13 and a 20 year old is trying to romance you, get the fuck out of there and tell a trusted adult.

#csa tw

177 notes · View notes

heartfullofleeches · 1 year

Note

please elaborare on alien yan and them thembo cow reader

(Just a not so little dairy farmer and the extraterrestrial who's got the hots for them and not totally isn't trying to lure them onto their ship)

Fresh mountain air, wide open fields for you and your herd. It wasn't always easy, but this was certainly the life for you.

Early on, you did everything thing to conform to human society. Taken in by a family in a place where people like you were the norm life was pretty easy - say for strangers tugging your horns when you were too small to defend yourself and mooing at you on the street, but that problem took care of itself once you towered over your bullies later on with the strength to match.

The only challenge you faced afterwards was a thirst for a life that never was. Living in a bustling city, you never experienced the outdoor life yourself, but you grew up on the romanticized portrayals - and fell more in love with the real thing when you finally got a taste visiting a close friend's family farm. It was then and there you decided to pack up and move out to the country once you had the funds. As luck would have it, that friend called you up with an offer you couldn't refuse when they heard about your future plans. Overnight, you were the new owner of a farm and on your way to living the life of your dreams. Wished they'd told you more about the surveillance cameras you found hidden around during a deeper inspection of the place, but you'd manage.

You adored the change of scenery. There was a town a couple miles out so you weren't completely alone, but you had your animals to keep you company. Majority of your business comes from that town, but you've been taking a little break recently to take care of your herd and the bizarre events happening around your barn. You normally let your cows go free range, but two of them have gone missing without a trace. You've found strange symbols carved into the wood of your home and fields, the stocks from the harvest bundled neatly at your doorstep. Day by day, you started to regret not asking more about those odd cameras - especially since your friend hasn't answered any of your calls recently, but now's not the time to focus on that.

You've got a visitor.

Tires crunching atop the gravel road, an old beat up truck pulls up to the side of your house. No deliveries were scheduled for today, so you guessed they might've needed some assistance or looking to by something for the road. As the driver steps out of the vehicle, you're fairly surprised. They were big as you if not bigger; a slight hunch in their back obscured their full height. You've never met a human around your size and you couldn't see any features so far that would mark them as a hybrid. It was hard to see most of them really. A baseball cap was pulled over their eyes and the lower portion of their face was covered by a cloth mask. The only reason you knew was because they were staring right at you, all the way over at the open barn. The bovine at your side nudges your shoulder as you look back.

"I'll be back back soon. Okay?" You stroke her head and lead her back to the rise of the ground, picking up the filled bottles of milk and your bucket on your way out. The driver is inspecting your front door by the time you make it down the small hill to your humble home, picking at the flaking wood with their black nails. One foot on the porch and they're back focused on you. You still can't see their eyes or face, but their cheeks crinkle like they're smiling.

"Afternoon."

Their voice is...off. It's scratchy and hoarse like they haven't had a drink of water in days, but it reminds more you of static. Must be rough for truckers this time of year. "Afternoon! What can I do for you?"

The driver looks their feet, brows scrunched as they mutter to themselves. "H...ha.. Happen to have something to drink on you? I'm quite parched from my... travels."

"Course, kind of our main business here." You joke, reaching ingo your bottle for a glass. "On the house. Not to sound rude or anything, but you sound like you need it."

You hand the fresh bottle of milk to the stranger who graciously it off your hands - popping the top and taking a curious sip of the sweet cream. Their jaw shifts as they swish it around on their tongue, stiff shoulders relaxing some.

You fix the bill of your hat, horns making the task the toughest of your load. "Hope it's to your liking. Comes fresh from barn!"

The stranger studies your face and horns; eyes slowly falling to your chest and the cow print pattern of your tee. In a flash they're throwing their head back and down the entire bottle, lapping at its rim and snaking their slender tongue down its hole. It hits the bottom of the glass, pulsing against its floor. Maybe they were a hybrid -longest tongue you've ever seen. They stop only when their hat starts to slide back to fix it. You've never seen anyone so excited for your milk before - you hope the girls will be happy to hear this when you feed the herd later on.

"So, what are you doing in this parts? Haven't seen a delivery truck come by that wasn't one of mine in months."

A hairline crack runs the wall of the bottle. "I.... "ve just been on the road with no destination in mind. Searching for my place in the universe, but the country air is nice too. Think my trucks finally giving up on me, and I saw a sign for your farm down the road. Do you have a room I can stay in till I get it working? Food won't be an issue for me.. I can repay you with my services for now and send some money late on. Please..."

The poor thing. You rest your hand on their shoulder. "Slow down, it's alright. You don't have to pay me back or anything. Just focus on getting back on your feet, okay. The guest soon is a little junky right now since I haven't unpacked all my things, but you can wait in the living room while I'm moving things around. Welcome aboard."

Patting their arm, you swing the screen door open and step inside, inviting the in. Walking closer, their attention is taken by the wind chimes handing above your door, moreso the stains they reveal. The stranger takes off their coat and throws it on the chair outside your home. Your tail swings behind you with each step you take - so close yet so far. No - patience. They already had one slip up earlier with their lines. They'd rehearsed so many times, but not once did they conquer the hypothetical where you asked about them. It was the most logical option, so of course they skipped it. Their sweet cow would do nothing but offer a hand to the unfortunate. That's why they loved you so.

In their searches they found nothing to save this planet from its fate, but in the end one member of it's superior class would live on - in the stars.

#yandere oc #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere x you #yandere #yandere blurb #yandere insert #monster reader #yandere drabble #yandere alien #hybrid reader

545 notes · View notes