#whenever i’m in dms or in a face to face convo. i never know when the right time is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

reluctant-mandalore · 3 years

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hello i just wanna say I loveeee your blog and your fanfics!! <3 can you write a thing where the reader is telling some things to Din that's from their homeworld Earth?? like explaining social media, pop culture things, and some animals?? i'd love a struggling Din trying to comprehend what a DM is (>艸<) o(>V<)o

Warnings: Fluff, Earth things, light flirting, not beta read, din is confused af

Word Count: 1342

Pairing: Din Djarin x gn!Reader

a/n: I won’t lie. I had a bit of trouble with this one, and I don’t think its any of my best work. But I hope its enjoyable either way! Its a little dialogue heavy, I was exploring dialogue with this piece for sure, but I also felt like it did better with more than less in terms of them speaking. I didn’t have much inspiration in mind for this one, but honestly I still think its still a little cheeky fic with a healthy amount of fluff between Din and the reader. Soooo enjoy!

Edit: og fic had a “whats a dm?” convo but it didnt really flow right so I removed it and did the spilling the tea thing instead. Hope that was fine anon! I mean... I still have that convo in my scrap doc now, so if you still wanted to see it I could publish it as a blurb. But its really up to y’all if you want to see Din confused over a dm.

The Mandalorian had immersed himself in looking through that datapad he currently held in his hands. Double checking the list of supplies you both had picked up the day earlier and making sure it had all been placed in the correct storage areas. A task which he found dull, but had busied himself with anyway. If there was one thing he hated—it was a disorganized ship.

This is where you had found him when going down to the hull. Spotting him among the many crates within its vancity and practically skipping over to join him. A bright smile on your cheeks and excitement bubbling inside of you for the day that you two had planned together.

“Hey Din! Ready to head out?”

The Mandalorian had glanced up from what he was doing, allowing his gaze to connect with yours. Soon feeling himself smile at the sight of your own grin. He had nodded in assurance, before going back to fiddling with the datapad in his hands, “I well be, just got to finish up with this here. Are you?”

“Yup! Ready whenever you are tin man!” You had said with a wink, sitting on one of the closed crates and watching as he went about his work. He had rolled his eyes under the helmet at your nickname, choosing to ignore it for the time being though and going back to focusing on the task at hand. Finding himself wanting to get it finished soon so that the two of you could leave.

“Oh, before I forget.” He had suddenly spoken, lifting his head from the screen to look towards you again, “We got a message from Fett earlier when you were busy.”

“Oh we did?” You replied nonchalantly, standing again and patting away the dust now on your clothes. Before pulling up closer to him and taking a peek at the device he was still holding, “What’s the tea? Spill it for me.”

Din had paused in his movements slowly looking up to connect his gaze with yours once more. The confusion he felt evident even with the helmet shielding his features from your view. The realization of your slip up causing a wave of embarrassment to rush through you. Although, your shyness had soon left at hearing the next question he had asked.

“What is this... spilling of the Tea?”

“It’s just a saying.” You said, resisting the laugh that had pulled at your throat from his choice of wording, keeping it down as you smiled at the confused man, “Sorry Din, I sometimes forget that you don’t always know all the same lingo that I do.”

“Ah I see... So it was one of your Earth sayings then?”

You had rolled your eyes at his words, a teasing grin playing on your lips now, “Of course it was, what did you think it would be?”

Din had shrugged, looking away again as he felt himself blush in shyness, even though he knew you wouldn’t be seeing his heated cheeks anyway, “I dunno, maybe it's one of those weird animals you were talking about the other day.”

“Hippos aren’t weird!” You had gasped in mock shock, putting on a show of seeming offended from his accusation, “They’re cute!”

“Yeah sure,” He had said, the teasing smile he wore evident in just his voice alone, “Whatever you say, Cyar’ika.”

“You’d think they were too if you actually saw one.”

After your words, you had moved away from him again, going over to look through the crates of supplies he had scattered around him. You had poked through them with interest, making a face of disgust at seeing some of the protein bars you didn’t like littered within. The expression had earned you a huff of laughter from the armor covered man. The sound of it making you let out a small giggle yourself, a flush of warmth heating your skin, as you both soon found yourselves falling into a comfortable silence.

“What does it mean?” He had asked suddenly, after some time had passed, breaking the cloud of silence within the room, “The spilling of the tea I mean. Why would you spill tea over a message?”

Hearing him speak you had looked towards him, letting out a small laugh at his questioning. His naiveness over the ordeal making your heart flutter and roll with affection for the man. An odd need to pinch his metal cheeks pulling at your mind, though you stopped yourself from doing so, knowing he probably wouldn’t be too fond of such an action.

“Well it doesn’t literally mean spilling tea.” You had said with a shrug, “It basically just means sharing some good gossip.”

Din had hummed in understanding, “I see. Though I can’t imagine Fett sharing any gossip like that.”

“Are you kidding?” You replied, giving him a look of doubt, “I bet him and Fennec sit up on that throne of theirs gossiping all day.”

A loud laugh had left the Mandalorian at your theory—a rare treat that you found yourself overjoyed with—watching him shake his head at the silliness of it all. He never knew how you came up with these ideas of yours, but they always seemed to bring a smile to his face either way.

“You know I’m right!”

“It’s not that,” He had said, another chuckle leaving him, as he set down the datapad and put everything else away, “You have such strange things from Earth. They seem unreal at times.”

“Oh I see…”

“I mean. I like learning Earth things from you, no matter how strange they may be.” He had said, looking away almost bashfully as he tried to work out his choice of words, “I… I like getting to know more about you.”

A heat had flushed through you at his confession, your heart thundering loudly within your chest, “Well in that case... I can teach you more Earth things.”

You had moved closer to him after your words, a flirty tone finding itself laced within your voice. One of your hands trailing up his chestplate and resting upon it as you leaned into him. Now toying with his cape fondly as you continued speaking, “I wouldn’t mind and it would be something nice to do together.”

“Sure.” He had managed to reply, his mind feeling fuzzy with your sudden closeness, “As long as it's not one of those strange tik tok trends you were doing the other night.”

“Tiktok isn’t strange! It’s fun!” He had looked at you with his brows raised, the helmet hiding them, but his skeptical gaze still obvious, “Ok maybe it's a little strange, but I promise you’ll enjoy it. You should learn one of the dances with me later. I can teach you one!”

“I don’t dance.” He had replied quickly and sternly. Turning away in an attempt to leave the conversation, though you wouldn’t let him get away with it that easily.

“Oh come on Din…” You pouted, moving around to his front again and giving him your best puppy dog eyes. The sight of them managing to melt his heart in an instant no matter the situation, “It’ll be fun! Plus, you wanted to learn more about Earth stuff right?”

Din had sighed, realizing how his words were now coming back to bite him. Giving you one final look over before admitting defeat, knowing he wouldn’t win this stand off with you anytime soon, “Fine. But you don’t tell anyone.”

“Pinky promise!” You had said with a cheeky smile. Soon holding out your pinky towards him in offering, wanting him to swear the promise with you in that manner, the same way that two foundlings might.

The Mandalorian had rolled his eyes underneath the helmet again, but still possessing the bright smile spread across his cheeks. Soon he had held his own pinky out, interlocking it with yours and giving a firm nod of approval. Another flush of warmth flooding through you at the gesture and causing for your heart to flutter happily once more.

“It’s a deal.”

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oloreaa · 3 years

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2020 WRAP UP!

Okay here we are!! Hopefully I have not missed anyone because I truly dont mean to "snub" anyone, so here is a list of people who I feel very thankful for knowing this year, where I started out on tumblr, you have been truly bright presences and I love you very very much.

First off here are some people I don't know very well (or at all, but I admire their work) but I think have excellent vibes and I would love to get to know better/let them know that I appreciate them very very much:

@maxlordd @ollypopp @opheliaelysia @honeymandos @concussed-to-pieces @pikemoreno @huliabitch @mitchi-c @hansoulo @browneyes-djarin @cinewhore @max--phillips @din-damn-djarin @ezrasarm @dishonouringmycow @keeper0fthestars @dadolorian @dindjarindiaries @cobbvader @leo-moon @justrunamok @frannyzooey @miranhas-art @keethus-arts @hdlynn @zeldasayer @qveenbvtch @softpedropascal @marvel-and-mischief @datmando @stubbychaos @di-kut @themangolorian @vercopaanir @mcfreakin-bxtch

and so, so many more that I cannot think of right now (and tumblr doesnt let me tag more than 50 people)

And for those I know a bit better, under the cut❤:

@binggrae-banana-milk : You're the first person I really talked to on tumblr, and I cherish every single one of our interactions so much. The one time where we had watched Revenge of the Sith together and had a full on BLAST, it was incredibly fun and every time we just kind of scream at each other in dms it's so funny, how we both are freaking out simultaneously!! Also before you I never really keysmashed and now it's a part of my vocabulary lmao, ily!!!

@mndalorians : Cass. Oh, my dear Cass. Listen, you have brightened up my year by SO MUCH. I don't even want to know how many tens of thousands of words our chat consists of dhdhdh, from discovering cultural differences with each other, to yelling about the same stuff, to planning fics and telling each other of our ideas. We share a brain cell and we are literally the embodiment of Zwei Dumme, ein Gedanke. If I'm glad for anything in this year, it's starting to talk to you. You're literally one of my closest friends and I never hesitate in hitting you up, from absolute crack to heartbreak, you have the range, darling. I love you so much, you don't even know❤

@agirllovespancakes : Iris baby, oh my god. I don't even know where to start. The way how we just started talking without even KNOWING how we started talking is the funniest thing, EVER. This friendship came out of fucking NOWHERE and I am so glad for this. I can always count of you to stand by my side in so many things, and you're the other chaotic one in Tender Roasting, I adore you. The way we just go "kskssksks" and "dhddhdhdhd" at each other for literally hours because we are just losing it over each other is amazing. Ich hab dich so lieb!!!

@adikaofmandalore : Holy shit, Adi, the only thing I can think of now is that you literally deserve everything good and sweet in this world. You're one of the kindest souls on here, and I've never met anyone who is as sweet as you. I don't even know how you are real. Everytime we talk I'm literally smiling so bright, your enthusiasm for Ven is unparalleled and the way we just go bonkers at each other with ideas?? You're so supportive?? And your razor sharp wit and sarcasm is AMAZING to witness in action. Your writing is incredible and incredibly underrated and your stubbornness is admirable. You manage to power though Everything and that's so impressive. I love you very much!!!

@teaofpeach : lee babe DAMN I've never met anyone who is as funny as you. Like whenever we are talking it's just, it ends with me cackling and having the biggest smile on my face because you made me laugh so much. Such a bright presence on my dash and your TAGS are always sending me. So witty and smart and your vocabulary is unparalleled. Filthy hoe but I love you for it. You taught me so much tumblr lingo just by texting me and I always feel Educated afterwards dhdhdhd I love you so much and I trust you with every single one of my attempts at Spiciness

@mandolovian : DEV BABY my love from tomorrow🥺🥺 the time difference of HELL had never stopped us from being hoe af in the dms lmao, I vividly remember one of our first convos spiralling into thots SO FUCKING FAST that was the funniest shit ever. It's always fascinating to see what you do on the other side of the planet and I admire you so much. Like, you TRULY have big brain. How do you remember so much??? Like all these conditions and facts and like WOAH I just feel like a plankton next to you💀💀💀💀 ily SO MUCH

@goldafterglow : iris babe omg okay first of all you're the prettiest bitch I've ever seen, such a nice presence overall, you have GALAXY BRAIN, your writing style is so smooth and full of descriptions that are so amazing to read, like its. Amazing. You have unfortunately witnessed several times where I typed faster than my brain would proceed and I ended up saying the DUMBEST shit and you make fun of me because of it. Like bro I dont even mind bc any interaction with you is worth it🥺🥺🥺🥺

@chibi-liz05 : Liz oh my gosh I just love you so much. We don't talk as frequently anymore but you just have a place in my heart, you're incredibly supportive of everything and you're always there for me, no matter for what, offering thoughts and conversation about everything. You're such an absolute sweetheart and a sunshine person and I just adore your positive attitude and the way you talk, you're literally the sweetest. I love you very very much and consider this me giving you the biggest forehead kiss

@pisss-offf-ghostt : you're one of the first ones who read my fics when I first started out, and your continued support for everything I write is absolutely AMAZING. Like I enjoy every single one of our conversations and discussions, and I feel completely safe to hit you up for anything, no matter what. You're an incredibly kind and hardworking person and your heart is just so big, I cannot even comprehend it. It's amazing how much you care, how you interact with people on here, and I care for you SO MUCH. Love you🥺❤❤

@maybege : you're literally the KINDEST PERSON around?? And we are weirdly connected through cosmic forces whenever it has something to do about Lebkuchenherzen lmao, its uncanny. We have started out in fics in such a similar way it still makes me chuckle, like we experienced the same amount of cringe lmaooo, and now you're just here, blessing us every day with your amazing content, being the most organised person I know, and just an absolute SWEETHEART. everytime we write I have such a big smile on my face, and you BET we would have found each other irl if it wasnt for Corona🤡🤡

@kiwi-the-first : oh kiwi you're such a nice and thoughtful person, whenever I feel down youre the first one to send asks and nice messages and cute photos to make me smile and that is absolutely adorable of you🥺🥺 you're such a vocal and passionate character and its absolutely amazing to see you in action, how you go all caps screaming in the dms. You have a special part in my heart and its just so nice to be able to talk to you

@corvueros : MEG we are literally sharing one (1) brain cell and they are oscillating between "horny", "yelling at each other in all caps" and "oh my god that's such a good idea" 💀💀💀 whenever we talk I have the biggest smile on my face and I absolutely ADORE you, you're the absolute best. Such a sweet and thoughtful and excited person who can spew the filthiest thots in a manner of 0.1 seconds. You're such a bright person and I could not imagine not being able to talk to you bc you're so supportive and just the literal BEST, I LOVE YOU BITCH, I AM NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH

@blacksquadron-rougetwo : okay Hailee you have absolutely excellent vibes. Like you're always so bright and sunshiny and just so damn fucking gorgeous I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU. Filthy and tender at the same time, the QUEEN of soft horny fics like woah, and the way you talk is just so wonderful to witness. Your reaction pics are always on point and no matter what the topic is our convos always end up in all caps screaming at each other how unfairly hot the character of the week is lmao. You're such a sweet being and I am grateful for you!!

@over300books : holy shit Estela I have not known you well for a long time but you're such an incredibly supportive person with the funniest of commentary, everything you write makes me smile, ESPECIALLY all those comments in the docs!! I completely trust you with all the writings I manage to finish and everytime you help me with it you make me see my work with new eyes. You're just so damn amazing and sweet and super cheery I just love you so much. I am so grateful that we are friends and I am SO PROUD of you for finishing your degree!! Like girl WHOOOO!!!

@anxiety-riddled-mando : listen not only are you an absolutely fantastic writer, you're such an amazing person and someone who just screams "safe" at me. Like I completely trust you with my thoughts and even if we are not talking directly very often (our communication is more reblogging and telling each other in the tags how much we love them lmao) I just absolutely adore you and I just am so incredibly thankful that we stumbled across each other!!! You're such a bright presence on tumblr and every single one of your works is so incredibly amazing!!

Aaaand that's a wrap!! Thank you so much for making my year brighter, I love every single one of you so so so so so much. Happy new years!!

Love, Rea

#new years wrap up #oloreaa talks #i love u very very much #❤❤❤❤❤

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puckngrind · 5 years

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Skating Lessons part 10

Summary: Josh’s first big road trip.

Warning: swearing, fighting...

Word count: 2009

Series Masterlist

This was the first long road trip and while Josh texted, called, and facetimed you whenever he wasn’t on the ice or doing team things you missed him. You watched all of the games curled up on the couch watching Mason reenact what was on the ice. Mason decided he would wear either his Jones or Anderson jersey depending on how the team did the night before.

"The boy really won’t give up that Jones jersey will he?” You can hear Josh’s voice is tired and you are sure he’s laying in bed about to pass out from the game.

“I mean I’m pretty sure Seth is still his favorite player.” You giggle over the phone and you hear Josh groan.

“What more do I have to do?” He laughs a little then grows silent.

“Get some sleep Babe. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” “Okay, and can you stop by my place to put the package in the house? The tracking number says it will be there by noon. And don’t open it or it’s going back.” You agree and let Josh go.

Mason was super excited to head to Josh’s place even without him being there. Something about the best hiding places. There is a large box sitting at Josh’s door. It’s much lighter than you expected when you pick it up. You take a picture of your fingertip lifting up the flap and send it to Josh.

Josh: Don’t you dare! I’ll send it back!

You: The fact that I don’t know what it’s for has me curious

Josh: Us. And don’t ruin my surprises. 🤨

You look up and cannot seem to find Mason. After a few moments you find him in what he has deemed the best hiding place ever and head out. He’s bouncing up and down the hall and almost runs into a girl that doesn’t hardly look up from her phone as you quietly say sorry and scold Mason. You look back as she keeps heading in the direction you were coming from and as you round the corner you swear she heads right for Josh’s door. Mason keeps pulling you as you stop to look. She disappeared into one of the doors. There weren’t many down that way but shake it off and head down to the parking garage. There is a car parked in Josh’s other spot where his SUV is normally. It wasn’t there when you and Mason got to his complex. You process it but get distracted by Mason’s running commentary on your drive home. You make your way to the couch to watch another game and your phone vibrates.

Josh: 2 more sleeps and I’ll be laying next to you.

You: Yup. Good luck tonight.

Josh: Yup? You okay babe?

You: Yes. Don’t you need to get ready? Josh: You are far more important than warmups

Your mind keeps going back to the blonde and the car...and while Josh spends most every waking moment when you aren’t at work with you there is a thought that keeps in your mind. The comments you had read about his wheeling and others taking note that there was no way a girl like you domesticated Josh Anderson unless you trapped him. Your fingers typed out your text and hit send before you could stop yourself.

You: are we exclusive?

Josh: Why the fuck would you ask that? Yes. I love you and only you.

You: We can talk later. You need to get out on the ice.

Josh: This convo isn’t over. I LOVE YOU!

Josh: And ONLY you.

You watch the screen as Josh skates on and his face says it all. Even with the pissed off look on his face he still did Mason’s secret signal. You notice Nick leaning over him as he stretches and pats him on the back. The game starts and Josh is a little more aggressive than normal. He slams anyone in his path into the boards and his shots are off. You put Mason to bed and finish watching the game alone but texting Bethany. Then it happened. You aren’t even sure who the player was but Josh was immediately in his face. The guy laughs and Josh swings. Both drop gloves and fists are flying while the refs try to break it up. You are annoyed at Josh but watching him fight was a slight turn on.

Beth: I’m pretty sure I saw Wilson say your name before Josh decked him.

You reread the text and look up at the screen. Josh and Tom Wilson were sitting in the penalty box. Tom with a smirk on his face and Josh’s pissed off look now included a bloody lip.

You: What? No.

Beth: rewind. Right before Josh swings Tom is saying something and the last part is your name.

You did and while you saw what Bethany was talking about there was no way that was your name. You send a text to Josh.

You: I’ll be up when you are done.

It isn’t long before your phone rings.

“Can you please tell me what you asked if we were exclusive?” Josh breathes out you can tell he’s pacing his hotel room.

“Josh, why did you get in a fight today?” You didn’t answer his question because you didn’t want to talk about the blonde and the car.

“I was crowding the crease.” Josh kind of barked out you. “You didn’t answer my fucking question (y/n). WHY did you ask if we were exclusive?”

“I don’t think you were crowding the damn crease Josh. And are we?” There is a snap to your voice that Josh has never heard.

“If you don’t know we are exclusive I’m not sure how I can prove it to you. I mean I fought Tom Wilson today because of you so...” He trails off.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Tom Wilson kept chirping about you and I snapped.” You hear the plop of Josh’s body hitting the bed and the groan out of his mouth meant he was hurting from his scuffle.

“Josh, what DO you mean chirping about...me?” Your voice cracks at the idea.

“He was being an ass like always. Seth told him to back off but I think it just fueled him.” He groans again as you hear him shuffle.

“But...why...how...I don’t understand. Are you hurt?” Your mind races.

“I mean I’m a little sore but nothing a cold tub and biofreeze won’t fix. I wish I was snuggled up to you though.” Josh pauses and you let the silence happen. “So does this prove that it’s you and only you? Who or what made you think we weren’t exclusive? Did someone DM you? I told you not to look at the comments. I sure as hell don’t.” You remain silent taking in the whole afternoon.

“I’m pretty sure I saw a blonde heading towards your apartment today. There was a car in your spot when Mace and I left too. Josh, is there someone else? I’ve let down all my guards because I trust...” Josh cuts you off.

“(y/n), stop. There is no one else. There will be no one else. I love you more than anything. I don’t know who the blonde was but she wasn’t in the building for me.” He groans again and you don’t push it but you feel your walls slightly go up.

“I’ll see you in two days.” You whisper because your mind was racing. And it raced the whole next day.

Josh: Meet me at my place. We are flying in from Pittsburgh after the game. I need you in my bed.

You look up from the text to Mason and Bethany who are sitting across from you eating at one of the new restaurants she’s been begging you to try.

“You are blushing.” Beth looks at you then back to the coloring page in front of Mason. “You do that a lot now.” She eyes you again and you go back to text Josh.

You: Yes.

You simply text and go back to your conversation. You hear chatter from behind you and giggles. “Ask her. Ask her.” You look up and two girls are standing at your table. “Are you Josh Anderson’s girlfriend?” One of the girls asks.

“Uh, yeah. How do you...” You start and the other cuts you off.

“We are big fans. Would you mind getting a picture?” You look over at Bethany and Mason. Beth’s mouth was hanging open and Mason didn’t even look up from his coloring page. You stand and take a selfie with the girls. They thank you and you sit back down.

“Um...” Bethany stares at you. “Did that just happen?” You just stare at her. “Like those were fans that recognized YOU.”

“Yeah. That’s never happened. I just don’t know. Amy said it comes with time. This whole thing.” You stared at your phone not knowing what to do. “And there you go again talking about Queen of Hockey Mom’s like she’s your bff.” Bethany tries to break you out of your trance. It sort of works.

You drive over to your parents to watch the game and get Mason tucked in before heading to Josh’s after the end of the game. You wondered if he would text you after the loss.

Josh: Getting on plane.

You: Sitting on your couch.

You snuggle in a turn on Devils Wears Prada waiting for Josh to get home. The door opens and you hear his bag hit the floor. You sit up and he’s stripped off most of his suit before reaching you.

“Can you really think there is anyone else (y/n)?” His lips are on your neck before you have are even standing. Josh shakes off his pants and continues, “why am I almost naked and you still have all your clothes on?” He tugs off your cardigan. “You did all that yourself.” You breath in sharply as Josh crowds you again.

“You are so damn sexy.” He scrapes his teeth down your neck again.

“Josh can we talk? You had fans that came up to me while I was out with Beth and Mace.” Josh pulls you in and tugs again at the hem of your shirt. You push him back again. “I’m going to need coffee if we aren’t sleeping tonight.” You break away and pad to the kitchen to start some coffee. Josh follows you and you notice the bruise on rib cage. Your fingers grace the area.

“it doesn’t really hurt.” He leans into you. “And did these fans take your picture?” He stops to look at you.

“Yeah, I took a selfie with them. Did this Tom guy really talk about me?” You stare at Josh and he shakes his head. You flinch. Josh cups your face and kisses you gently. “Oh, Mason made you something.” You break away and head to the door. Leaning down to grab your bag all of a sudden Josh’s door opens and the girl you saw the other day is standing there.

“Are you FUCKING kidding me? I...I....” You look at the girl as you hear Josh move from the kitchen. You don’t give him the change to speak. “I cannot do this.” Your eyes are watering and all you here is Josh yelling out your name to stop. Your phone vibrates as you almost run to your car. Tears falling down your face. Josh is at your car door as you fumble. You cannot hear him through the pounding in your ears. You look down at your phone where there is a picture of Josh talking to a girl while they were in Florida. Josh is begging you to get out of the car. “(y/n), what the hell? That’s my...” You cut Josh off and point your phone at him.

“Had a fun roadie huh?” You snap at him and don’t give him time to respond before you pull your car in reverse and see Josh standing in his boxers with his hands in his hair.

#josh anderson #josh anderson imagine #my andy man 77 #skating lessons fic

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connor-murphy-trash · 5 years

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Connor Murphy X Reader

AN: I have been having a rough past few days so I wanted some Connor fluff. This is roughly based on how my girlfriend and I met, online and in person. So for me, this is double the fluff. It brought up a lot of memories. So this is dedicated to her. I hope you enjoy! (Its also almost 3:30 am so I’m sorry if anything is worded weirdly or anything haha)

TW: Brief mentions of mental illness/suicidal thoughts and being high (It does not go into any details of any of these)

Word Count: 1,548 (I got a bit carried away oops)

Type: Fluff

You and Connor met online

Tumblr to be exact

When he started following you

You checked out his blog to make sure he wasn’t some creep or porn bot

You found that you both posted similar stuff

And you had a lot of the same interests and hobbies

So you followed back

A few days later

Connor was a bit depressed and wanted to talk to someone

So he didn’t feel so alone

But he didn’t really have any real life friends he could just randomly hit up

And the ones he could have were all busy

So he decided to DM you

He didn’t expect to get a response

Why would you want to talk to a random person on the internet?

Little did he know you were also depressed and lonely that day

So you guys started talking a bit more over the next few days

You learned a lot about each other

One of those things was that you lived only 3 hours away from each other

You expected him to say he was from across the country or something

So you thought it was cool that if you wanted you could meet up so easily

But at this point, you didn’t know each other anywhere near well enough to even be thinking about that

Over the course of the next few weeks, you two grew extremely close

Honestly, you were developing a slight crush on Connor

Okay, maybe more than just a slight crush

So much so that

Your heart would go “akajidnsjkyuso” everytime you heard your Tumblr DMs go off

And you would rush to your phone

All you wanted to do was talk to him

Connor understood you and your troubles more than anyone

You could send him a huge rant at 2 am

And he would be right there to help you through whatever issue you were dealing with

Whether it was mental health issues

Or family drama

Or anything at school

He would listen and try to help

He cared when no one else did

And you did the exact same thing for him

You made him feel so special

Like he was wanted

Like he was needed

You never belittled him for his bad thoughts or actions

Whenever he thought he might do something stupid

You would talk him down

You were each other's main support systems

One day you posted something on your blog being like

“Wow I love being so unloveable”

Or something like that

You were depressed and lonely

And just ranting

But Connor was a bit high when he saw that

So he decided to send you an anonymous ask

“I have the biggest crush on you. You probably won't ever feel the same about me, but you are loved.”

To say you were shooketh™,

Was an understatement

You responded by asking them to come off anon so you could talk and get to know them

That kinda scared Connor

He didn’t think it through fully

He didn’t want to make things weird

But he did want you to know

He decided this was a convo sober Connor should be having instead

So he put off telling you

“Just until I’m sober tomorrow”

But the next day first thing in the morning

You texted Connor

Freaking out

Your parents just surprised you with tickets to see your favorite band in concert

Of course, your first thought was to text Connor

He loved the band too and he would be so happy for you

So you told him

And he was like

“Holy shit when is the show?”

So you told him

And he just said

“Fuck you, stop messing with me”

And you were just like

“???” Why would I fuck with you about this?”

“You found out that that was the show I was going too and you are trying to fuck with me and say you are going to be there.”

To say the least,

You fucking S C R E A M E D

Because omg

You were both going to the same concert

Not only were you going to be in the same room as your favorite band

But also your online friend/crush

You were ten times more excited now

Also ten times more nervous

What if you met up and he decided he didn’t like you and didn’t want to be friends anymore?

He was having the same thoughts run through his head

Thank god high Connor didn’t tell you it was him who has the crush on you

You would meet up and think he was weird and creepy

Anyways

You both pushed away your anxieties and made plans to meet up

You were going to be with your best friend and he was going alone

You planned on meeting up in line to get in

You both were going to be there early to try and get a good spot in the front

But you didn’t see him at all while waiting

You texted him and said he was at a dead stop in traffic

He was freaking out

He didn’t want to miss the one chance he had to see you

Eventually, they opened the doors and let everyone in

You got fairly close to the front

But not right next to the stage

It wasn’t until the very start of the opening band that he made it inside

He was towards the back of the room

After the opening band was done

Connor texted you to ask where you were

So you held up your flashlight hoping he would see it

It was a struggle but he finally made it up to where you were

Without thinking you instantly hugged him

He was a bit surprised

But he hugged back just as tight

Maybe even tighter

It was so surreal to get to see someone who you knew so much about

But had ever met before

You ended up introducing your friend to him

And everything was smooth sailing

The concert was epic

You may or may not have cried a few times

But its okay because Connor did too

Shh don’t tell anyone

Everything was so real

Connor,

The band,

Everything

After the show was done you guys went outside

You ended up talking a bit

You asked your friend to take a picture of you and Connor

Which they did

You looked a bit rough

Considering you were sweating and it totally looked like you had been crying a bit and your hair was messed up, etc

But you didn’t care

You were with Connor,

The person who has helped you through so much,

The person who you trusted with your life,

The person you were in love with

Connor said he needed to tell you something

And that it was kinda important

You were a bit scared but went with it anyways

He told you that he was the anon

And that he really really liked you

More than friends

You nearly d i e d

You just kinda froze

He instantly started rambly and saying it was fine if you didn’t like him back

But he just needed you to know because it was killing him on the inside

You quickly reassured him that you did like him back

He was so relieved

Then in his nervous awkwardness, he asked if he could kiss you

You, of course, said yes

One of his hands ended up on your hip

The other was in your hair

Yours were cupping his face

The whole thing was so perfect

You would say that sparks flew

You both pulled away with small smiles on your faces

“Fuck”

Connor randomly said in a slightly upset tone

You thought you did something wrong so you instantly started apologizing

“No, wait! You didn’t do anything wrong Y/N. I’m just an idiot.”

And you were like “Why?? That kiss was perfect??”

“I did this in the wrong order. I should have asked if you wanted to go out with me before I kissed you. God, I’m so weird. You probably think I’m just a creep who just wanted to make out with you.”

“Are you?”

“No! God, no!”

“Then I don’t have an issue with you asking me out now.”

By that point, he was blushing so much

He is such an anxious bean when it comes to you

He just wants everything to be perfect for you

So after he collected his thoughts

He asked you out

He said he didn’t know how well it was going to work because of the distance

But he was willing to try if you wanted too

You said you would love to go out with him

You guys ended up talking for a little while longer but eventually, it was time to part your ways

Neither of you wanted to say goodbye

Tonight was so perfect

You didn’t want it to ever end

Once you got into the car with your friend

They send you the pictures of you and Connor together

And one more

Of you kissing

That night you sent it to Connor saying

“Do you like my new lockscreen? ;)”

Now every time you are on your phone,

You are reminded of the most perfect night of your life

#deh x reader #dear evan hansen x reader #deh #dear even hanson #dear evan hansen the novel #dear evan hansen novel #deh novel #connor #connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #connor x reader #x reader #headcanons #writing #liz is writing #liz is creating #fluff #deh fluff #connor fluff

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studylustre · 6 years

Note

(matcha latte anon🍵) hello carol!! first up, i wanna tell you that i love reading through your posts alot!! especially the soft boy™, it's so cute!!! >u

matcha latte (!!!) and the second time i met him (which was 2 weeks after), he remembered my order which was really nice and unexpected. also, i was with my friend that day, and i offered some yam chips (in a container) to another female collegue (since i am more used to seeing her, and also because i’m kinda shy to give him). he came to the table and gave back my container, and had a very small talk, in which he offered us drinks/ice cream but we declined. after my friend left, i continued studying and suddenly, he came to collect my cup which i was going to say thank you, but to my surprise, he placed another new cup of matchalatte for me!! i was shocked and didn’t know what to do so i just mouthed a thank you to him. at this point, my heart is already melting, considering this is the first time anyone has offered me a drink like this. we also said bye when he left. our third encounter: the next day, in which he came but i don’t think he had work. he sat at the chair in front of my table, but i was so HORRIBLY SHY that i didn’t look up that much. i have no idea if he was looking at me or not but it remained like this for about (more than) 5 minutes long?? after that, he went to stand near my table and said “no matcha latte today?” so i replied “yea mocha today” !!!! but we were interrupted by the female collegue who said “haha you talking to customer ah” *in chinese* but in like a jokingly manner. then i think the situation got shy and he said no in chinese once again and then we bid farewell :c. it was such good memories and i never met him after that, and i thought i never will. the only info i had about him was that he’s a year older than me. i think i’m a person who falls in love quite easily haha, so i couldn’t stop thinking about it for quite a while. fast forward to jun 14, i signed up for a school camp (i usually don’t go to camps) with 2 of my friends. it was a camp with 5 different schools. as time passed on during the first day,i couldn’t help but notice this guy felt familiar?? i kept noticing the way he talked, the way he walked, and it hinted me that it mIGHT be him ?? (i’m not very good at remembering faces, and also his hair is also wayyyy longer than before) during that night, i was talking to my friend about how i had a feeling that it was him, but i don’t know if i really want to know if it’s him (bc he seemed close to this girl, and my self-esteem is quite low :c). but i decided that i should just ask him. during the next day, i didn’t see him around often, but i couldn’t quite find the courage to ask him, and i don’t really want to do it infront of my friends. when the camp was nearing to an end, i almost thought i won’t ask him, but man i just went with it, go up to him and awkwardly goes like “wait, did u work in a cafe before?” he seemed hesistant so i thought i got the wrong guy, but NO! IT WAS REALLY HIM! aaaa but we got interrupted again, and one person asked if we were cousins LOL.we didn’t manage to talk alot, but found out we’re in the same school??? but he’s year 3 while i’m year 2. once again, i was really amazed to meet him again such circumstances, and that we were in the same school all along?? i thought i would meet him sometime soon,,, but turns out i was wrong.. i didn’t have any contact of him and once again, as time goes by, i didn’t think much about him again. fast forward early to end jul-early aug, i signed up for a japan uni talk (once again, not something i usually go for but somehow did). on that day, i was thinking about how long i’ve never met café guy but was happy cause i’m over it. but life decides to (idek what life is trying to do to me) bring him back into the picture again! i was waiting for my friend when i suddenly saw this familiar looking guy, i only saw him walking two steps (he’s blocked by a pillar) and i had a gut feeling that it might be him. but this time he was wearing glasses and his hair is short now. after seem peaking around here and there, it turns out it really was him??!?! at that point of time, i was very shy and awkward, it was hard for me to say hi or anything, i was just freaking out. to sum up that day, i basically didn’t manage to say hi to him (regrets :cc). but my friend, managed to find a mutual friend of both of us’s instagram. i went to follow him and found café’s guy instagram eventually!! to sum up, i eventually used my main account to follow him, in which he followed back ( that was like almost a 3 day process uwu). also, i dropped huge hints to lowkey scream *i’m the matcha latte i hope u remember me!!!* aaaa he dm-ed me and ask if im the matcha latte girl!!! we talked abit (not alot really) and (yesterday) he said he’s working but at another chain of the café (which is about 3 mins walking distance to the café i met him & usually go to). he asked what time i was leaving, and since i was meeting my friend, i said around late 5 to 6. he then said his break was only at 6plus, so i thought maybe i can wait a little longer to catch him (but i was a little afraid to meet him as well haha) i was going to pack my bag when he came!!! he immediately came to my table and talked to me!!! but my friend called me so i had to pick up, when it ended, he came back to my table again and we talked for about 20mins?? it was nice talking to him (some context: my mind usually goes blank when making conversations with people!!! >u

hi angel!! sorry for the late reply - i saw ur ask a little while ago but bc i didn’t have my laptop (it was off for repairs) i couldn’t reply :(( anyway, it sounds like ur both mutually interested in each other!! i think u should go for it. i mean, from what i can tell, it sounds like u kinda like this guy (u seem rly excited whenever u catch glimpses of him and idk i feel like he definitely made a big impression on u bc why else would u a) remember all your interactions b) get so excited about seeing him time and time again and c) bother to tell me all this, right? ✨) like it just seems like u both have interest in each other but are too shy to make a move. i think u should go for it bc u’ve already nearly lost him several times now - u only get so many chances and i feel like u might regret it if u don’t do anything and just let this opportunity slide… also i think u might be overthinking it - you may be different people, yes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing?? also u guys don’t really know each other all that well yet so it’s really too soon to be worrying so much, just try to take the time to get to know each other better and then see how things go once u have a better grasp on who he is etc. u have nothing to lose from giving it a shot, especially since u already hope for it to work out, so why hold urself back and deprive urself of something that could potentially make u a really happy? everyone’s scared of things and it’s natural to be scared of something like this, but it would be a shame to let that fear hold u back from something that could be really great

#answered #matcha latte anon

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datingadviceonreddit · 4 years

Link

I’m 17F, the guy I like is a 17M and I’ve liked him since like freshmen year of highschool when he was dating my ex-best friend. I have never had a guy friend that I get along so well with. Ever. It’s just that weak in the knees, butterflies in the tummy can’t stop smiling when you talk kind of crush that is so crippling and life wrecking that you literally can’t think. Our convos are soooo good when he actually talks though (he’s pretty shy) like I’m always laughing when we talk and he’s always teasing me and I never see him talking that way with other girls, (and that’s saying a lot bc my close friend is a knockout, like she’s SO pretty all my guy friends like her no joke.)Anyways this stupid crush is coming in and intruding upon my normal thoughts and taking up my every waking moment to the point where I CANT SLEEP. (Currently typing this like a madwoman at 3am) Ive tried to get him out, really, I’ve even started talking to this other guy 16M that is really cute and sweet and we’ve gone on a couple really good dates. At that point I hadn’t seen my crush for months (COVID) so I thought my feelings were fading. BUT THEN I find out It turns out my sister is actually his younger cousins best friend. WHAT. THE. FUCK. So she accidentally on purpose tells me that he was actually planning on asking me to mofoking prom. But as friends. So I was like uhm excuse me that information is NEWS TO ME. May i just take this time to let you all know that he has not texted me once. Not a snap chat, not a DM. He watches my story and thats basically it. Anyyyyways I invite him to volleyball with a big group of friends and he says he can’t come. Whatever. THEN HE MFKING SHOWS UP TOWARDS THE ENDS. When I tell you I almost went into cardiac arrest.... okay but here’s the catch: I walked over and it was soooooo awkward like he was basically pretending I didn’t exist it was hella weird. He didn’t acknowledge me or anything and I was uhm excuse me the fu ccc? So I got into his face and was like hi hi hi hello and then he was smiling and stuff and being all teasing and normal again and I was just like THE FU CCL? This is what has me overthinking the most. It was soooo weird. Like I was right next to him, and he was talking to other people and stuff and I was talking to my friends near him and he just looked straight ahead, like he was actively trying not to look at me. Wtf is that bs? (Ok I’m his defense I didn’t rush up to him or say anything when he first came onto the volleyball court but I was NERVOUS ok?) Also not to throw in another sidebar, but I was also low key terrified to talk to him bc I kinda made a mistake a couple weeks earlier and partied with his best friend and I was rlly drunk so I was kinda flirting hella with his best friend and likeeee if he really does like me then I would be fucking pissed off too. It would be awkward right? So back to the main story, he’s just hellla shy like whenever we’re in groups it just seems like he wants to talk to someone one on one and not talk in the whole group like when we are and I’m talking to other people he kinda just shuts down and goes on his phone. But when we were in a group and he and I were talking he seems rlly invested in what I’m saying and it makes it rlly hard to focus aha. For example none of the guys their noticed that I cut my hair, but it was the first thing he mentioned when he actually aknowledged me. ALSO whenever we’re in the group it feels like he always positions himself near me or facing me but he doesn’t touch often. Anywayl later I kinda looked at his hand while he was on Snapchat and he was definitely snap chatting a girl and it just kinda made my heart sink bc I was under the impression that he just didn’t use Snapchat very much and that was why I hadn’t heard from him all summer. So I know this is literally all just my mind thrown all over a page and it’s probably so overwhelming but basically I can’t tell if this guy is actually interested in me or if only sees me as a friend, or if he liked me but actually hates me now bc I flirted with his best friend, or if he’s never liked me and I’ve fantasized everything, including our friendship, in my head. If it wasn’t already obvious I tend to overthink. I just need some clarity.(If you actually read all the way through this you’re amazing omg) via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

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hellaspicaay-blog · 7 years

Text

@ my crush(er) A.H

I’ve been hurting, crying, and drowing in my thoughts. I reminisced on the great times we had during summer school p.e. Everything was a learning experience. I learned so much from being around you and having you in my life. You made me want to better myself. I remember after realizing that I was digging you I knew I wanted to change my lifestyle. I wanted to eat healthier for you. I would try to enhance my features for you. I’d elevate my physique and all for you. Although you were so nice to me and would compliment me, I realized that behind your actions towards me was just a friendly motivated one. I read too deep into it. I interpreted everything so that’s it’d match how I felt about you. I projected my feelings onto you so that the whole thing would fall on hope to keep it going. I remember when I was with Taylor and Jenn at the quad talking about something during fall of 2015 and you came into the circle to talk to me. You told them that you needed to talk to me and I felt so special because you grabbed me by the arm and lead me out the circle just so that it’d be the both of us having a conversation. I remember that shy awkward smile you were giving me while asking me if I was gonna do cross country and I said yeah. I remember the excitement on your face. The tone of your body movements. You made me feel like a somebody. You made me feel capable. I’d always have you on my mind. Not sexually though. Your character and the way you just were was enough for me. Your beautiful mind and generous heart enchanted me. You believed in me. You hyped me up. You would always say hi to me whenever I’d pretend I didn’t see you during passing period. Was this always how you treated your guy friends? I felt honored to have you in my life. I remember taking a make-up test for Ms. D and I turned it into her. As i turned in my paper to her, you came in the door and greeted her. Then you told her how she should give me an A. After that you were complimenting me from my glasses, to my shirt, to my whole outfit and said how cool I looked. I was so awkward and was like “noooo” but with an awkward smile. I don’t know. Maybe I read too deep into your actions. Maybe I just have never met a guy that’d be so nice to me like you have to me. It was refreshing to see a guy interact with me so deeply like that. I will be honest, I joined cross country because I wanted to get fit and try something totally new but also because you told me to do it. You were the one that made me think “yeah I think I wanna do this” because I still wanted to be around that energy. I remember before the first cross country practice we passed by each other and I asked if you were going to practice and you were like “aww nahh man. Not today. But I’ll be going to the next one.“ I was kinda disappointed but I understood your decision. A few practices came and you still never showed up. I was filled with disappointment. Then finally you showed up to one practice and you acted like a stranger to me (or maybe you. Were just neevous around me and tried to conceal your feelings for me lmao 😭😭 I thought ahhaha). There I was hurt. It was weird cuz you’d treat me like I was a somebody sometimes then you’d treat me like you didn’t know me other times. As conflicted and frustrated I was trying to make sense of our whole relationship. Trying to understand you and my place in your life. I’d convince myself that it was no big deal. You were a straight guy just bein hella nice to me. Then track season came and I was excited to do hurdles. This time I did it for me (but kinda for you too cuz I didn’t wanna lose hope on a future with you in it 😭😭). But anyways on one bus ride to the practice you saw me sitting alone. But you just ignored me, no “hi” no “heyy man” nothing. I was questioning my worth to you. Then the next practice you were cheering me on on hurdles then we were talking about something and you started awkwardly laughing with that cute ass smile. Omg. Now you got me even more confused. But fast forward to senior year, I knew it was a new beginning. I was looking to forget bout you and build a new foundation within myself. I’ve “accepted” that you were not gonna be my bf. I’ve gotten through months not checking your Instagram on a daily basis. I thought I was healed. Then spring of 2017 came and it was college decision time. I got accepted into your school and some others. I was conflicted on whether i should choose sj or ucm. If I chose sj, I knew my feelings for you would rekindle and I’d look for hope again for the both of us. But while making my decision, it brought back all of those suppressed feelings. I tried to hide them again. I remember I unfollowed you prior to this dm on instagram. I dm’d you on how sj was and why you chose sj. Of course, you replied and gave me some good insight. Nothing more and nothing less. I was conflicted and frustrated again so I asked you some more questions yet I got the same tone in response. You had a girlfriend already at this point. Anyways, I had to think of my future too, so I chose ucm cuz I knew I’d be away from you. This was unhealthy for me to be so stuck on you and attached to your energy.

A couple months later, it was July 04, 2017. My brother’s girlfriend gave me the idea to throw a going away party. I was diggin the idea. Long story short. I was contemplating on inviting you or not but i ended up inviting you and you said “aww thank you so much man, I’ll definitely be there” or something along those lines. I was excited yet had doubts that you wouldn’t come. Fast-forward to my party day. After taking pictures with some people my bro opens the door and it’s you. YOU. My mind and heart could not process it. You, A.H. Came to my party (omfg 😭😭). So I give you that bro handshake and I tell you that they’re all in the backyard. I end up not walking you there cuz I’m nervous as fuck and I don’t wanna make it obvious that I got feelings for you. So I walked to the front door instead and went outside acting like it was for a purpose 😭. Then you started vibin and catching up with some old friends etc. omg. THEN Bodak yellow plays and I’m groovin to it and I see you groovin to it too. You start dancing towards me and reach for a bro shake. I come to you like a magnet and say “you know this song?l and you’re like “Bodak Yellow. Heck yeah man.” Then we start jammin to it. Then you start up a conversation with me. And my ears are all open and listening. BUT THEN my dad had to tap me on the shoulders and tell me to bring the box of pizza to the table for my other friends when they could just go inside and eat what they please. Anyways, I follow the order. And walk back out and you’re already talking to jamie L. So I give you your space and just go back to doin my thing.

After that party I cried so much about how blessed I was. I cried about 5-8 times on and off (even when I was brushing my teeth lmao). That was the highlight of my fuckin life deadass. So I start thinkin about all the ways you made me feel. Etc. i just had to let myself feel it all out. Make sense of it all. Try to accept what was and what is. I asked one of my favorite artists (and he responded. ILY Steve Lacy) about this and he gave me a some great insight on everything. I just had to connect all the dots and ask so many questions to the universe and myself. I’m a firm believer of “EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING WHAT IS MEANT TO BE WILL BE.” I had to reconnect with my inner-self. And keep myself with myself. I did hurt. It was hard to sleep. It was hard to keep you off my mind. And it was hard to not feel. I had “not in that way” by Sam Smith on replay along with “Bad Religion” by Frank Ocean and other songs on replay because of all the overwhelming and frustrating feelings that I’ve been keeping suppressed. This is my only outlet (tumblr). I didn’t feel comfortable telling anyone even my cousins (even though they tried so hard to get it out of me and open up about my struggles. IM GAy. There I said it. But I hate telling people because they just disregard all the baggage and deep pain you went through living with all the internal conflicts. It’s so heavy on me. I guess I hate how no one will understand my pain which is why I refuse to open up about my sexuality. Along with it comes so many misconceptions and negative assumptions that I just cannot deal with. Anyways, back to you A.H. I realized that I do love you even if we only talk here and there. Even if you don’t feel the same. I’ve learned to accept that you won’t be my bf. And I guess I’ve been holding onto you for so long because I relied so heavily on hope that things would eventually work out for us. It’s been two years. Ever since the summer of 2015 to today August 08, 2017. I realized that the Universe has been sending me signals to move on and to let go. And to understand that what is for me will come into my life. God knows what he’s doing and maybe you just weren’t the right guy for me even though I really wanted you to be. So yeah, even as I type this I have doubts. I worry that what if I’m just not trying hard enough and that you’re just struggling to let your feelings out for me and all of that. But then, I reexamined your instagram and our convos. You have all you need. You have a girlfriend, you have a wonderful family, and you have so many people who love you. You are happy and that is all that matters. I love you and I’m working to fall out of love with you for myself. It’s time for me to heal. And it’s time for me to invest in myself more and the people who truly love and care for me. I’ve been so lost because of my selfish motives. It was such a blessing to cross paths with you it truly was. You made me who I am today. I definitely learned so much about “love” and friendships. I learned about myself and the universe. You will always have a place in my heart, but we just were never meant to have something more than what I thought we should have. Maybe I’ll see you next lifetime? Hmm, who knows. The Lord is beyond amazing and I need to trust him/her more and build with him/her more. I love you A.H. This is me releasing all of my suppressed thoughts about you so that I can be one step closer to healing myself. You will do so many amazing things in life especially since you’re such a great soul. I’ll be here on the side cheering you on. ILY. And I’ll miss you.

Sincerely, PJPT 💛💧✨💜✨💗✨

#unrequited feelings #unrequited crush #unrequited love

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