#when the fuck did Colin get so hot?????
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Quarter Final One
Propaganda...
Edward Ferrars (1995) :
Edward gets a bad rap because he's quiet and the whole lucy steele situation but he doesn't get enough credit for how honourable he is! It's easy to have honour when it costs you nothing he knows he'll be miserable with lucy but he knows it's the right thing and to do so he sticks to his guns and does it anyway despite the opposition from his family and to me that is hot! Also yes he makes mistakes but his family are vile - he grew up with Fanny and Robert and is still a good man! Also he looks like hugh grant and plays fun games with Margaret and he understands Elinor in a way no one else does - Hot!Hot!Hot!
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Mr Darcy (1995) :
Colin Firth (1995) is book Darcy brought to life. He uses tiny gestures and looks to communicate with us and Elizabeth… his struggle is so subtle but so palpable. A beautiful asshole with a creamy nougat center. Just perfect.
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Those heart-eyes right up above☝️? Hot!
Passive-agressively drinking tea? Hot!
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The way he rushes over to see Elizabeth at Pemberley on those delicious long legs of his with that slutty wet curl hanging over his forehead? Hot!
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Fencing? Hot!
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The way he is so concerned about Elizabeth crying and takes her hand even though he shouldn't? Hot!
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This dimple-y smile of pure joy because he knows he's married to Elizabeth freaking Bennet? Hot!
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Colin Firth Darcy is simultaneously immaculately put together and entirely falling apart internally. The wet shirt scene is so iconic not (only) because ‘oooh almost-shirtless sexy man’, but because it’s a metaphor for how he’s absolutely falling apart!!! This is a private moment, when he doesn’t think anyone can see him. And then he bumps. into. Lizzie. At his house!! And the entire sequence that follows with him rushing out still doing his jacket up to catch her before he leaves. They are both on the back foot and it’s THAT moment of confusion that opens a more honest dialogue between them.
Without Firth in a lake you wouldn’t get Macfadyen in a downpour!
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There's a reason why Colin Firth is forever known as Mr. Darcy above all other roles he's had and will have! Even ignoring the wet white shirt, which has become A Thing now, he is so hot with his curly hair and his little half smiles and his intense looks of longing and his legs that go on for milessss.
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This cannot be real. My fellow Jane Austen people. Without Colin Firth’s Darcy we wouldn’t have 90% of modern JA content. He opened a door and there was no turning back for modern culture. There would be no MacFadyen standing half undressed in a field at dawn without Firth jumping into a lake first. There would be no hand flex if there hadn’t been Firth doing his best impression of a man undressing Elizabeth Bennet with his eyes and hating himself for liking it. There would be no Bridgerton without Bridget Jones. Let’s face it people. We wouldn’t be here having these arguments if Colin Firth had not been Mr Darcy.
Colin Firth understood Mr. Darcy in a way no other actor ever has. He is awkward as fuck in a way that comes across as snooty and judgmental on a first watch-through, then can be read as awkward and longing on a second time. His performance had such depth while looking extremely shallow at first glance. This man WAS Mr. Darcy. (I love 2005, as well, and I love Matthew McFayden, but he was awkward for awkward sake.) Colin Firth made Darcy's awkward look snooty and aloof.
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THE socially awkward Darcy is the 1995 Darcy - look at him coming and sitting in awkward silence with Elizabeth pointedly asking her if she wants to live a long way from her family (to obvious relief) and then abruptly leaving - vote for him please 😭😭😭😭
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Colin Firth served so much as Darcy that when they did Bridget Jone's diary, they brought him back.... AS DARCY. The smoulder. The angst. The man is the quintessential Darcy.
“Firthing” is an actual term that is used now to describe someone yearning intensely. It is named after Colin Firth’s Mr Darcy performance.
Colin Firth all the way. He's known in our household as Owl Eyes because in every frame he's mooning over Elizabeth Bennet. Unsurpassable, unmatched, golden television (and some of the worst dancing you've ever seen).
Colin has beautiful, touchable curls.
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My high school English teacher was very into using movies to teach alongside literature, which was a great teaching tool. When we read Pride and Prejudice, he used both 2005 and 1995 for various scenes. What stands out to me all these years later was when it got to the part when Lizzy went to help Georgiana after Caroline dropped Mr. Wickham's name and Darcy gives Lizzy this look:
My teacher stopped the film and pointed at Darcy's face and said, "See that? That is THE look. If someone ever looks at you like that, you know they're in love." And what is hotter than that?
Also this teacher had two cats named Lizzy and Darcy. Not relevant to the poll but I wanted you all to know about them.
The best thing about the Colin Firth wet shirt scene is actually the scene that follows where him and Lizzie are both just dyinggg of embarrassment but Darcy pulls himself together refuses to lose his advantage and runs to get dressed and chase her down before she leaves - just the mix of cringe and hopefulness at seeing her again is so well done and so attractive!!! (this is just the bit where he's running after her but I love it all!)
#hotjaneaustenmenpoll#quarter-finals#edward ferrars#mr darcy#sense and sensibility 1995#pride and prejudice 1995#pride and prejudice#sense and sensibility#hugh grant#colin firth
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𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐌 || 𝐁.𝐁. (PART II)
summary: you’ve been receiving love letters from a secret admirer and you’re desperate to reveal his identity.
contains: benedict being fucking adorable, fluff n' angst!
a/n: this one’s a bit angsty and a tad racy. enjoy! PART I
The idle days leading up to the ball inched past painfully slow. You spent them trying to occupy yourself with silly activities; knitting, painting, writing. This last did little to keep your mind from straying to your admirer, as one’s mind often drifts to the land of romance when writing. You tried to imagine the color of his eyes, the slope of his nose, the feeling you’d experience were you to finally meet at the ball. No, you scolded yourself with a click of the tongue. You would not get your hopes up only to be disappointed.
You were just beginning to paint a landscape when there was a knock at your door. You ushered in your lady’s maid, who once again discreetly placed a ribbon-wrapped envelope upon your desk and let you be. You knew your imagination would surely run wild as an unbridled stallion if you opened that letter. So you put your fine brushes away and started down the stairs. The letter could wait, you tried to convince yourself as you scurried off to the Bridgertons’.
The heat that afternoon grew more intense by the minute, but Daphne and Eloise insisted on savoring the sunlight by sitting on the garden terrace. You quietly sipped your beverage as you surveyed the garden. The flowers were in full bloom, dashes of pink and white and red standing out against the earthy tones of the greenery. Bees buzzed by and you could hear the chirping of the songbirds if you listened for it. And there, in the center of it all, were Benedict and Colin, fencing with all the grace of two combative children. You snickered whenever Benedict let out the occasional curse, or whenever he bested Colin and wore that ridiculous victory smirk.
However, the more you watched, the more difficult it became to rid yourself of the suspicion that you were feeling something more than just innocent amusement. Benedict was now covered with a thin sheen of sweat, his muscles tautened with every movement and his ragged breaths drew one of your own from you. You tried to drag your eyes away, focus on your drink, which was doing little to put out the flame you felt brewing within. It wasn’t until Eloise called your attention that you were able to see anything else.
“Sorry!” you laughed nervously, and noticeably so. “What were you saying?”
“We were saying that we must be going.” Daphne replied. “Simon is here for me and Eloise is off to visit Penelope.” She stood up, gracefully smoothing out her champagne colored dress. “Will you be staying longer?”
You glanced over at Benedict and Colin, who were striding toward your little group. “Yes, just a bit longer, I think.” Daphne gave you her warm smile and bid you goodbye for the day, Eloise trailing after her as she left. When you turned, the brothers were standing by you.
“Good heavens!” you shrieked, not expecting their looming presence.
“You’re so easily startled.” Benedict laughed as he took the seat opposite you, where Daphne had been. Colin excused himself and left you both in each other’s company. “Hot, isn’t it?”
“You have no idea.” you remarked as you took another mousy sip of your drink.
“You seem a bit – fidgety – of late. Are you doing well?” Benedict asked.
“I didn’t know you were such a keen observer.” you smirked.
He gave a sort of knowing chuckle. “You have no idea.”
You smiled, but your expression quickly faded as you recalled the pressures you had been feeling of late to marry. “The truth is I am feeling a bit low. My family wants nothing more than for me to see suitors, to select a person I hardly know and take him as my husband to live out the rest of our miserable days together.” You scanned his face for his reaction.
“Well, that sounds dreadful!” he scoffed. “Call me an idealist, but marriage is not something that can be forced. It should only ever be for love.”
“My thoughts exactly.” you nodded in firm agreement. “Have they started looking at ladies for you as well?”
“For me?” he asked incredulously, which caused you to be taken aback. “No, heavens, no! I do not intend to marry.”
“Never?” you inquired, your slight frown betraying you. “Not even for love?”
“It would have to be a love so strong it could bear any storm, one of those loves the poets write their sonnets about.” he stated with such determined an air you felt you couldn’t question him on the topic any further. “And I suggest you do the same. Do as you wish when you wish it, that’s how I intend to live.”
You couldn’t comprehend how easily he could dismiss something of such paramount importance in your life, so high up on your list of things you must do in order to maintain your social status, or even to simply keep a roof over your head that wasn’t your parents’.
“Well, I’m sure it’s different for men.” you fired back, eyes narrowing as if in some sort of philosophical duel. “Especially when you aren’t the eldest son. Life has no worries for you, it’s all just art and those women you waste away painting.”
Benedict’s face fell slack. “No, you don’t understand. I didn’t-”
“I don’t understand?” you repeated bitterly as you stood from your seat, Benedict looking up at you with the sorriest of looks. “Do you wish to insult my intelligence as well, old friend? I understand plenty, and I have learned that the world will never be the same for you as it is for me, so I will leave you now to enjoy yet another idle afternoon of your dutiless, reckless life.”
You stormed your way through the house and onto the street, huffing and blowing like a bull ready to charge. How he infuriated you! How mad he drove you! At least your letter awaited you at home, and you would feel peace once again.
tagging: @velvetcloxds @oweninadaydream @holdthegirrrl @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @i-padfootblack-things @dd122004dd
#benedict bridgerton#benedict bridgerton x reader#benedict bridgerton x you#benedict bridgerton x y/n#benedict bridgerton angst#benedict bridgerton fluff#bridgerton
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Hi!! I absolutely love yo he fics talk about carrying the Jamie tartt fic community 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
could you please write something about like the Richmond team being out at a bar and someone kissing Jamie and reader seeing and the chaos that ensues, hopefully with a happy ending but I trust whatever you want to do 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Haha hey, thanks! I write because I have a lot of things in my head, so thanks for enjoying it and for requesting!
Also I literally hate looking for gifs because I can never find the ones I want
wrote all your lines in the script in my mind
“Why did I let you drag me here?” you ask your absolute best friend the whole world, “I hate bars so much!”
Colin grins. “It’s good for you to get out of your flat and into the real world for a change. You’re getting all pasty.”
“I am not!”
You can’t help but catch onto his infectious mood. He’s still happy after scoring a winning goal, so he and Michael convinced you to go out with them even though it was almost a whole week ago.
You and Colin had grown up together, kicking the football around his backyard until age ten, when you declared you were never playing with him again because he was “unbeatable.”
You hate losing.
You two had been inseparable, even at university. Colin was more outgoing, what with football and all. You were too, in your own way, but you hated bars. And going to the club. You said it was too many drunk, sweaty people but both Michael and Colin promised that it would be fun this time.
“If I have to go, you have to go,” Michael had said to you.
You had groaned, but acquiesced. You’re not too sure of your decision anymore, especially because of how many footballers are present.
The last time you were out with them, one of Colin’s teammates had taken it upon himself to flirt with you the entire night. And he flirted very well. Like, so well that you went home that night incredibly flustered. So well that it now occupied a permanent place in your brain. You played the moment he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear on repeat in your mind, like a tab on your laptop that you couldn’t bring yourself to close.
And you told fucking Michael, who told fucking Colin, who then teased you about it mercilessly until you swore you’d tell the press about the Incident when you two were ten.
Colin shut up after that.
Actually, that’s not entirely true. You’d go out to coffee and he’d say, “Saw your footballer today,” and you’d say, “He’s not MY footballer,” and Michael would ask, “Then why are you blushing?” so you’d respond, “I’m not blushing, it’s just hot in here, alright?”
Anyway, you’re at this fucking bar filled with fucking footballers and you catch yourself looking around the room for one in particular, and Michael catches you too. He doesn’t say anything, just winks at you and pulls Colin over to an open booth.
You tell Colin all the time that you like Michael better than him. It’s because Michael knows the meaning of the word discretion.
“I can be discreet,” Colin says.
“And I can play football,” you reply.
Michael says you two bicker like a pair of siblings. He’s not wrong.
Right now, though, you’re not bickering. A few of Colin’s friends are filling in the booth. Sam slides in first, then Isaac, and then finally Jamie.
Michael is sitting opposite Sam, then Colin, then you.
You’re all squished in, ordering drinks and food, swapping stories and laughing like you’ve known each other for ages.
You suppose you sort of have.
You’ve known Colin the longest, obviously, but the next one is Isaac. You met him shortly after university because he was always around Colin. You met Sam once he signed for Richmond, and Jamie when he domineered the little triad of him, Isaac, and Colin.
You really didn’t like Jamie.
You told Colin all the time that he was a prick and a bully, but Colin wouldn’t listen.
It actually was the cause for one of your biggest fights. You two didn’t speak for three months.
Then Roy head-butted Colin and Jamie was gone, and you’re sure there are other details in between but whatever the case, Colin was at your doorstep with takeout and an apology. You watched Look Both Ways and argued about which was was the best. And that was that.
When Jamie showed back up, you were less than thrilled.
“If you fucking act like that prick again, I’ll fucking sabotage this date,” you had said. You were setting up Colin with a friend of yours named Michael. You didn’t know him incredibly well, but you had a lot of mutual friends who absolutely adored him. You were pretty sure he and Colin would click but you didn’t want Colin to act like a douche again.
He didn’t. It worked out for him.
Jamie knew who you were to a certain extent, which you suppose is why he was flirting with you that night at the club. Your distaste for him was evident, but you felt so uncomfortable in that environment. You were sitting alone, trying to make yourself invisible, when a tipsy Jamie found you and began to make it his mission to get you to a) smile and b) not hate him. He succeeded at both, as well as secret mission c) make you blush and fall madly in love with him. (Not that he knew that option existed.)
But he did that with all the girls, so you tried not to let it go to your head.
It did anyway, which is why you’re sitting in this booth in this bar trying not to look at his perfect face for to long and pretending you don’t notice that his foot is resting next to yours under the table.
“I’m gonna go get another drink,” he says, pushing himself up. You can’t help but notice the glint of his thin gold chain and the way his shirt hugs his bicep. Colin pokes you under the table.
You look back to the group and try to immerse yourself in the conversation, but you are far too distracted. Your eyes keep flicking to Jamie.
Jamie, as he orders a drink. Jamie, as he laughs to the bartender, Jamie as he… kisses a fit blonde girl in a tight skirt?
You look back to your table, eyes fixated on the chips in front of you. Oh. You suppose that settles things then.
You close the tab in your mind and try to muster up some of the old dislike you had for Jamie. It’s not really working, because all you can think about is how he drunkenly waxed poetic about your eyes and told you he had liked them even when they were angry.
This is the first time you’ve seen him since that night, so it’s not like it’s that big of a deal. What were you expecting, for him to soberly declare his love? Maybe Colin had over-hyped the way he said Jamie had asked about you the next day. Maybe he was exaggerating when he said he caught Jamie looking at the picture of you and Colin from uni that Colin had taped to his locker.
Maybe you were looking for something real in someone who was just looking for the next good time.
It doesn’t matter though, because it was just a crush. That’s what you tell yourself as you get up and tell the table you’re going to get some fresh air. “Too many sweaty boys,” you say with a nose wrinkle, and a squeeze to Colin’s hand that means I’m feeling anxious and need cold air.
You’re breezing out the door by the time Jamie returns, hair slightly tousled and frazzled expression. Michael and Colin exchange a look.
—
Meanwhile, you’re outside freezing just a little bit. The cold air is a welcome shock to your system, so you don’t mind the way you’re shivering. You take a deep breath, envisioning your lungs expanding to the point of popping. Your breath comes out in a whoosh, and you feel the anxiety beginning to dissipate. You stand, back against the bar wall, puffing cold air into the sky for a long time, tears welling in your eyes but refusing to fall.
You’re outside so long, that when the door opens and you hear footsteps coming toward you, you’re sure it’s Colin or Michael coming to make sure you haven’t been murdered.
“You plannin’ on freezing to death?” asks a voice that is neither Colin nor Michael. The owner of said voice leans against the wall next to you, mirroring your position. He’s so close you can feel heat radiating off his body, but you’re not quite touching.
You shake your head. “No, I’m not,” you hear yourself saying, “I just got a little anxious and the cold air is good for me, so… here I am.”
Jamie makes a concerned hm and nothing else. He just stands there next to you, not touching but still too close.
“Why are you out here?” you ask, breaking the silence. “Thought you’d be inside. Looks like you met someone interesting. She might be missing you.”
There’s no malice in your tone. You’re just stating facts as an observer. As a friend, maybe. The only thing that colors your words is just a hint of sadness. You’re sure Jamie won’t register it.
He grimaces and shakes his head. “Ain’t my friend. Some fan who thinks it’s fucking cool to kiss a footballer. Weren’t paying attention, otherwise I could’ve blocked it. I fucking hate it when that happens. It’s like, they don’t even see me as a real person. Just a sexy lad they can do whatever with.”
You chuckle at the way he says “sexy lad.” It reminds you of the way he had told you he had been a “wee sexy baby.”
“That fucking sucks,” you say. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize, otherwise I wouldn’t have said it like that.” You’re taking deep, calming breaths, still trying to get rid of that anxious feeling.
Jamie just shrugs. He makes no indication that he’s going to continue speaking so you ask, “So, is that why are you out here, then? Is it to get away from her? Because if anyone should have to leave, it’s her. Pretty sure we could talk to someone and get her kicked out.”
You shiver, cold air beginning to seep through your coat. Jamie closes the gap between you, his bicep pressing against yours. You stifle another shiver, this one not from cold.
“Nah,” he replies, “that’s not why I’m here. Wanted to make sure you were alright.”
Oh. That’s weird. “Why didn’t Colin or Michael come?”
Jamie shrugs again. “Colin said some shit about fuckin whatever and Michael said the same fuckin shit, so…” he trails off.
You look up at him. “Jamie. You’re not making any fucking sense. I don’t know if it’s the cortisol flowing through my body or if you’ve had too much to drink, but you have got to be a whole lot clearer.”
That seems to get his attention, and bring him back to the reality that you two are outside, in the fucking cold, and he’s chatting with you as if nothing is wrong.
Jamie puffs out a breath, watching it coil into the air. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, then settles on: “I ain’t drunk.”
You’re still looking at him. He’s right. He’s stone-cold sober.
“I wanted to make sure you were alright. Colin said that you’d probably rather see me than him so… I dunno, I fucking came out here. I’ve been thinking about you ever since the last time we talked.”
Your cheeks flush bright red, and you’re grateful for the night sky. You keep taking your deep breaths.
Jamie continues, “You flirted with me for fucking five seconds, and it’s like- I forgot you hated me. Didn’t care about anything anymore, you just smiled at me fucking one time and I felt like I was floating.” He stares at the sky. “I fucking hate talking about feelings and shit, and you’re basically Colin’s sister, so I figured I didn’t have a chance. But I’ve been fucking head-over-heels since the first time you glared at me.”
You’re pretty sure this is an anxiety hallucination. That’s a thing, right?
Jamie is no longer staring at the sky, but looking at you. He breathes out a laugh. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to make it weird.” He moves to go back inside but you grab his arm.
“Jamie,” you say. The look on his face when you say his name is so hopeful, that you feel your heart shatter and reform almost instantaneously. “Jamie, you- you like me? You came out here because you like me? And that’s why you were drunkenly flirting with me last month?”
“Yeah, yeah it is.”
Your hand is still on his arm, and you’re standing face to face. You’re still breathing heavily, but so is he. You slowly run your hand up his arm and cup his face. He’s staring at you, mere inches apart, as you stand on tiptoe to reach his lips.
He kisses you back with the hunger of a starving man, arms wrapped around your waist the moment your lips make contact. You’re pulling each other closer, forgetting the freezing cold, when you hear an, “Oi, boyo.”
It’s Colin and Michael, walking out from the bar, headed home.
You and Jamie break apart and Colin points to him. “Break her heart, Michael and I will break your fucking legs.”
Jamie grins and nods, and you just roll your eyes. You’re going to have to tell them everything, but right now they’re walking away and it’s fucking cold, so Jamie’s pulling you back to him again to pick up where you left off.
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt#ted lasso
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Morning Smiles
Roy Kent x Teacher!Reader
Warnings: Language
0.5k words
Teach Me Tonight Masterlist
“Morning.”
There was that voice, that voice you tried all last night to get out of your head as you recuperated from the first day with a glass of wine and a Colin Firth movie. It was deep and gruff, with a growling edge that had goosebumps spreading across your skin. It was the kind of voice you bet sounded great whispering in your ear, and you’d even let yourself imagine the kinds of things you’d want to hear.
But all you could do was plaster on that sweet smile, the same one you offered to every parent, and cheerfully chirp, “Good morning, Coach Kent! Good morning, Phoebe!”
The girl high-fived your extended hand before turning and giving her uncle a kiss on his bearded cheek. Without another glance at either of you, she ran off in the direction of her friends, who were standing outside your classroom, waving and shrieking for Phoebe to hurry up join them so they could play before school started.
“Ready for another day of that? All the screeching and whatever the fuck it is kids do?”
Oh. Shit. He wants to fucking chitchat.
You laughed awkwardly, fiddling with your lanyard, hoping the sound of your jingling keys would obscure the sound of your heart pounding wildly inside your chest. “I better be, I’ve got a year of it ahead of me.”
He nodded, bright eyes showing you that Roy Kent was interested in what you were saying. “More like nine months though, right? Then you get a well-deserved break.”
“Yeah, and I spend most of that preparing for the next group. Not as much downtime as one would think.”
“I’m sure.” He studied you for a moment, taking in your second-day outfit: a skirt and plain t-shirt and those white sneakers again. Light, cheery, simple. Charming, in his opinion. Attractive, even. “With so little downtime, I assume you live on coffee?”
You ignored the stutter of your heart as you shrugged, ignoring the burning trail his eyes had left down your body. “They don’t tell you this in teacher school, but you’re kind of required to have an I.V. of the stuff ready to go at all times.”
His smile surprised you; it’s a really fucking nice smile, so nice it had you wondering if he scowls all the time because the world wouldn’t be able to function if he smiled too often. Your brain sure as hell stopped working the moment you saw it.
He knew. He had to know; otherwise, why did his smile turn into a smirk?
“Should let you go,” he hummed after a much-too-long moment, raising his eyebrows.
You couldn’t let him leave with the impression of you as a mute, staring dolt. “Yeah, we’ve both got long days of corralling energetic children ahead of us.”
Roy’s surprised laugh had your face feeling red-hot. “At least yours are actual fucking children. Eight-year-olds acting like eight-year-olds is almost cute. Twenty-year-olds acting like eight-year-olds is pure hell.” He tapped two of his fingers to his temple, bidding you a small salute. “Best of luck to you.”
“Have a good day,” you murmured, offering a half wave as he turned away.
Once he’d disappeared into the parking lot, you blew a stray hair out of your face. That man, with his leather jacket and deep brown eyes and infrequent smiles, was dangerous. You wondered how you were supposed to go inside and focus on reading and writing and math when you had the image of Roy Kent’s grin in your head all day.
#roy kent teach me tonight#roy kent x teacher!reader#he's here he's there he's every fucking where#roy kent#roy kent x reader#roy kent fanfic#roy kent fic#roy kent fanfiction#roy kent fluff#ted lasso#ted lasso fanfic#ted lasso fic#ted lasso fanfiction
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It’s a meme, Batman
Bruce never thought he would say this, but he regrets pushing Damian to make friends.
If he’d known all those years ago it would result in a media scandal that was practically a cosmic watergate, he would have kept Damian confined to the cave for the rest of his life. The worst part was that it was all harmless, just teenagers having fun on an improve show.
He’d gotten the link to the livestream through Oracle, who’d been laughing so hard he was worried she’d been injected with Joker venom. He got more worried when her laughter increased at the knowledge the whole family was in the cave. She insisted he play the livestream on the main computer, and like a fool, he’d trusted her and did just that.
It looked to be….the improve show Whose line is it, anyway? But the usual comedians, Ryan Stiles, Colin Morchie and Wayne Brady were sitting next to host Drew Carey and—Damian in his Robin uniform, Phantom, Superboy, Royal, Fireworks, and Wendigo. He heard the others laugh and ask the appropriate question ‘what the fuck is he doing??’ A question he himself was asking.
He took a step back to asses the situation; Royal, Dove Elopeman, was a metahuman born in Lapa, Rio Di Janiero who was apart of the new batch of superheroes. Royal had bronze skin a similar shade to Damian’s, with black wavy hair just below her shoulders and purple eyes. Royal was brought in fairly quickly after Martian Manhunter realized just how powerful her mind-control ability was, after he’d spent three months under her control, during which she found and took control of Khloé Kardashian and not only robbed her but blew up her house. She had a surprisingly pronounced figure for her age, 14, and used her body to get close to people and then take them down, usually incredibly violently. Royal showed no remorse for her incredible viciousness, due to her usual targets being sex traffickers and pedophiles.
Fireworks, Lydia Lippet, was a metahuman born in Perth, Scotland who has the odd ability to bring anything she draws to life. Fireworks was African with curly hair dyed baby blue styled in a side-parted bob, with metallic gold eyes. This ability was realized at a young age, but thankfully her parents didn’t use it for their own gain. Her parents raised her as if it was perfectly normal, and Fireworks did nothing too extreme with her powers until she was 13, when she brought a Pokémon into existence, the first time she brought something to life with her powers. This immediately made the Justice League aware of her existence, and once the JLD looked into her and went ballistic at the implications of what she was capable of, essentially forced them to bring her in as a new hero. Thankfully she was open to the idea, but unfortunately also expressed no remorse or sympathy for her actions.
Wendigo is the newest, and most unfortunate case. She had silver skin and was tall, about 6’9, and usually her hair was white but now for some reason it was hot pink. It was still incredibly long, almost touching her ankles, and her eyes were ultramarine blue. Research shows that before she was born the Native American tribe she was apart of went through a famine, in which many of her tribe resorted to cannibalism in order to survive. The reason her parents abandoned her deep in the Canadian forests is largely unknown, as is her parents location and names, but it is abundantly obvious they had committed cannibalism, which apparently caused a spirit of winter to latch onto her as a fetus and merge with her body and soul. That’s what the LJD concluded after a three-day long ‘study’ of her. This ‘study’ was concluded after Wendigo was rescued from Lexcorp, having mutilated and eaten over thirty of his men and injured Luthor himself. She didn’t speak, and only communicated with sounds and birdcalls, and, like the others, was violent without remorse.
Phantom was somehow the easiest to understand. He had light blue grey skin and pure white hair, as well as Lazarus green eyes, tongue, and blood. An Ohio resident, Danny Fenton was recruited after the Justice League investigated the Ghost Investigation Ward and the Anti-Ecto Acts, after it was found he was not only partially undead but also the only person capable of fighting against these world-ending threats without rascist-like judgement. Phantom was nervous about joining, mostly because of Deadman’s constant harassment about being ‘twinzies’ but agreed on the notion that his sister would get a full ride into any college she wanted. Phantom isn’t violent on purpose, but ends up being so due to him not knowing how to hold back.
Phantom was one stage with Damian, while the girls and Superboy were sitting with the host and other comedians. Everyone was laughing, and even Damian had a slight smirk on his face. Royal reached into the hat and pulled out a slip of paper, snorting and covering her mouth as she read the slip. “Batman….interrogating the Joker.” “Roll for an image!” Fireworks called, her accent thick as she pressed a button that caused the projector to roll through a variety of images before stopping on a very odd one that caused Tim to choke and Stephanie to begin roaring with laughter.
It was two over-sexualized wolf woman wearing skimpy clothes with different game logos with the words ‘Face it, you’d play with both of them’. Phantom leaned back and hovered in the air, laughing as Damian turned to fireworks with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t choose it, it’s just from the internet.” Fireworks drawled, taking a hit from her vape and blowing pink smoke out through her nose. Damian and Phantom stared at each other for a second before they both smirked, Phantom cracking his knuckles before leaning forward. At Drew Carey’s mark, the bit began.
Phantom and Damian stared at each other in silence for a second before Damian, in a perfect impression of Bruces voice, said “What is this.” Phantom, in the Jokers voice, replied “It’s a meme, Batman.” Immediately the crowd, and his children, were roaring with laughter. He could already feel the building dread. “I don’t understand.” Damian said in his voice. “What do you not understand?” Phantom replied in Jokers, somehow sounding tired of him at the same time.
“I don’t get the joke.” God, how was Damian making him sound exactly like him but also so pathetic at the same time? “Well, you see, people only usually play on one console.” Phantom held up a finger as he levitated in the air in a casual position, making the room(and his children)laugh again. He motioned to the picture. “But both these woman are so attractive, you’d wanna to play with both.” Phantom playfully stuck his tongue out at the end, to the humor of everyone.
“But they aren’t consouls.” Damian said in his voice. Phantom pulled out his phone and began pretending to text. The crowd and his kids laughed again. “The shirts their wearing have the consul logos on the—“ “What are you, some kind of furry?” Oh god how did he learn that? Another part of his brain knew that realistically it wasn’t that outlandish, but it felt like just yesterday he was eight and had brought home a cat he’d named after Alfred.
“You’re the one here wearing an animal costume.” Phantom still sounded judgmental, and for a second it was silent before Damian grabbed him and slammed his head into the wall. The crowd and his kids laughed again, and Drew Carey called scene. He looked back at his kids. Dick, Tim, Duke and Stephanie were sitting and roaring with laughter. Cass was kneeling down and trying to help Jason, who was curled into a ball on the ground and crying with laughter.
“I think the best part about this….” Drew started, but stopped to laugh again before continuing, “I think the best part about this is the implication that Batman knows enough about internet lingo to know what a furry is, but not enough to understand memes.” Damian nodded at him. “That is a true statement.” The crowd, and his kids, laughed again. He felt the dread grow at Phantoms motion for silence.
“I’ve had this one saved in my note app the day the interview was shared.” He grinned, before clearing his throat and speaking in Jokers voice. “You know, my father….”
Jason gasped and sat up, whispering in joyful disbelief, “oh my god.”
“…..was a gamer.”
Everyone began laughing so hard he almost couldn’t hear his brain imploding. Jason was choking on his tears, Colin Mochrie had his head on the table, Wendigo was looking around from her seat like a confused puppy. “….And a weeb.” Jason fell back and Cass was hovering, unsure if he was actually in pain or not. Dick dropped down to help, but he was also laughing so hard he was falling over.
“And one night….he got gassed up on his G-fuel CRAZIER than usual….” Fireworks began slamming her fist on the table, wheezing with excitement and leaning again Superboy, who was coughing on his laughter. “Mommy grabs the Wi-Fi to defend herself. He doesn’t like that….” He leans forward, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. “Not…..one……bit.”
“So….” Phantom almost broke character at Wayne Brady saying ‘I’m crying’ in a choked voice. “He takes out his phone and turns on his 4G.” Phantom was leaning forward so much Damian had to lean back. “He turns off the Wi-Fi on his PC and connects to his phone….” He leaned forward again, making Damian lean back even more. “….laughing while he does it.”
“My mother can’t stand the sight of him!” Jason and Dick were now laying next to each other, Cass making very worried hand motions. Stephanie was making calls and spreading the word of this live-stream. Duke looked dead. Tim was calling Conner to inform him of his little brothers whereabouts, also crying.
“She just wants to have dinner….TOGETHER….and not have him have KFC in his room anymore!” The crowd is roaring with laughter. Wendigo was chirping worryingly at Superboy, who was crying like Royal and Fireworks. Phantom watches the crowd laugh. “They eventually get a divorce.” This causes everyone to begin laughing again. Bruce felt like dying as his phone begins to ring, the caller ID telling him it was Barry Allen.
#danny phantom au#dp x dc au#original character#really spur of the moment thing#Also sorta helping me with character design#damian wayne#jon kent#danny fenton#danny phantom
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Unsolicited 20
Warnings: bad self-thought/talk, bullying, insults, low self-esteem, money problems, oral/noncon, coercion, cum, some untagged sexual and dark elements.
Wouldn’t mind some feedback! Lloyd was driving me nuts so I had to do it. Thank you in advance 💜
Masterlist
Your cheeks are flushed with heat as the server returns with your entrees. Lloyd shamelessly keeps his hand nestled between your tingling thighs, clamped in an attempt at modesty. He sits forward to eat with his free hand as you can barely keep your head from wobbling. You feel as if everyone in the place has witnessed your undoing.
“Mmm, better get it while it’s hot,” he scoops up a mouthful of season potatoes, “I’m not spending money for nothing, babe.”
He pinches you before finally removing his hand. He takes his knife, not bothering to wipe the glisten from his fingers, as he cuts into his filet. You slowly sit up as your eyes flick over to Colin as he reads over the bill.
He avoids meeting your gaze but you’re happy for it, humiliated and hot. You pick at the lobster tail with your fork and peer down at your plate. This night couldn’t be over soon enough.
“Aw, don’t pout, baby, I’m just getting started,” he bites into a chunk of juicy beef, chewing noisily.
“Hey!” There’s a shout and the clatter of a tray as empty dishes crash onto the floor. You look up as a man shoves a waiter out of his way, skidding on his soles as he stops beside Colin’s table, “what the fuck is going on here?”
Your mouth falls open as Lloyd reaches for his whiskey and finishes it with a pop of his lips, “looks like he got my message.”
“What?” You look at him as he watches with delight.
“Tell me you haven’t dreamed of this. Look at the coward, he’s about to piss his pants.”
“Wh–why?”
“Oh come on, you should be thanking me,” he leans back and drapes his arm over your shoulders, “in fact, you’re gonna thank me. On the way back. When we get there. And so on. The night is young, sweet cheeks.”
You look back to the scene across the restaurant, reminded of the night you came and Colin left you alone and nearly sobbing. The words he said to you then and after. The accusations that proved to be little more than projection.
For once, you agree with this douchebag at your elbow. He deserves this.
“That’s my fucking wife!” The much bigger man drags Colin out of his seat. Your husband couldn’t be called small but he was shorter and more slender than the bull shaking him by his collar, “my slut of a wife!”
Those words sting and you tilt your head. You know what it’s like to be on the receiving end yet you can’t feel sorry for the blond grabbing onto the angry man’s arm. She did this. They both did. They ruined two marriages for what?
“Do you ever come here without making a scene?” You lift your cocktail and drain it until there’s only a few chips of melted ice.
“I don’t do quiet,” he shrugs and goes back to his meal, “and I like a show with my dinner.”
You sniff as a gaggle of waiters try to calm the raging man throttling your husband. The mention of police moves the rabble towards the door but not without chaos. Table wobble with the impact of the intertwined man as heels click in their stead, following the fight outside.
“I need another drink,” you put your glass down, “preferably a double.”
Lloyd raises his hand and whistles, “garcon.”
You cringe and sink down lower. His quick response would be flattering if it wasn’t completely patronizing.
💎
Your stomach is unsettled, the pasta sitting like a lump as your anxiety flickers in your chest. You sit back in the low car seat and frame your forehead with your hand. A nice relaxing shower somehow ended in you being wound tighter than before.
"Baby, better keep me awake, you don't want me falling asleep at the wheel, do ya?" Lloyd says as he steers out into the street, giving his stomach a slap, "god, that was good, wasn't it?"
His hand slips down and he flicks his belt. You straighten in your seat as his eyes flash at you in the rearview. You repress your agitation and reach between the seats, bending over the stick as you pull back the tail of his belt.
It's just one thing after the other, you gripe inwardly, this man will never let you relax. Never let you catch your breath.
You unhook his belt and open his fly. You want to get home and go to bed. He's just a man, you get him off and he'll be ready for the same. He's hard as you reach beneath the fabric, unsurprised by his lack of briefs.
You take him out and stroke him mechanically. Men are easy when they have their pants down. Your husband proved that. With his own boss. His ex that he never shut up about. You should've known. You were never good enough and now look at you.
You push your mouth around him, grazing him with your teeth.
"Eh, put some love into it," he flinches and rests his hand on your head, "fuck."
You loosen your throat and grimace around him. You bob up and down, the noise making you sick, stirring the storm already whirling in your stomach. He clutches your air as you ignore the ache in your jaw.
Your eyes water at the sudden awareness of yourself, of what you're doing, of how you won't stop. You have nothing and this man made sure of that. Tonight wasn't a favour, it was just another reminder of his power over you.
You drag your tongue up and down, flicking around his tip. You wiggle your nose and force back the haze of tears. No, he won't see you like that. He's seen enough. You're just buzzed, maybe a bit depressed.
You bring your hand up and work him diligently. He groans and swerves as he squeezes his fistful of hand.
"Jeez, baby, you're gonna get us in trouble," he chortles and shoves you down, "ah, you little slut, you already got me ready to blow."
He takes over, guiding your pace as his fingers stretch over your skull. He drags you along his length and groans.
"Yeah, you gobble that dick," he slithers, "I'm gonna cum and you're gonna drink it up, yeah…."
He pushes you to his limit and his hips buck. He snarls and slams on the break, spilling down your throat as he sputters. He grips the wheel tight and holds you in place and drowns you until you're gagging.
He lets you go and you sit up, coughing as you spit up his cum. You fall against the leather as your body vibrates and you cover your face in shame.
"Please," you rasp, "I want to go home."
"Home," he shifts back into gear with a scoff, "what home?"
#lloyd hansen x reader#dark lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen#dark!lloyd hansen#unsolicited#the grey man#the gray man#series#dark drabble#drabble#dark!drabble
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can I ask what bridgerton books you’ve read and if they’re worth it
i read “the viscount who loved me” yeeeeears ago. and it is still probably my fav regency romance novel. it’s not even perfect. i just loooved the characterizations. (they’ll NEVER make me hate you book kate) and i think the banter and slow burn in the first half of the book was SOOO good. and literally what so many romance novels LACK. bc insta-lust/love just doesn’t pack the same punch. i’m sorry
also i litchrally claimed kate as a women of color in my own delusions back when i was literally reading a standard White Ass Regency Romance Novel (BEFORE there was ever any show) bc i just loved kate that much. and was like WHOS gonna beat my ass⁉️ (this was after still star crossed lol) she was a woman of color. TO ME.
plus they described kate as “dark” and edwina as “fair” in the book a lot which i know just meant hair/eyes but i was like. slay! no take backs! LDMLSJSKSJ
(so despite everything about the way the show did kate i did absolutely WIN in that aspect)
next. the second book i read was “romancing mister bridgerton”. (again. this is before there was ever a show) bc i liked the little of penelope i saw in kanthonys book. but then. well. reading that book is when i realized “the viscount who loved me” might have been a fluke bc WHAT in the world. “romancing mister bridgerton” was just 350 pages of penelope getting dogged by the boringest MOST bitchless man on earth. the way she PINED for colin from literally page 1. PAGE ONE. but the book doesn’t spend a SINGLE second making him compelling in ANY way, shape or form was MIND boggling. AND THEN gave him the audacity to treat HER like shit⁉️
and the WHOLE TIME the book is like they’re friends to lovers btw!!! hehe <333. NO THEY WERENT! DONT piss me off rn. that man was NOT her friend. he was nice to her ONLY when he deemed her below him. and as soon as he found out she had success in something he didn’t, it was immediate disdain and disrespect for her. that’s not a friend?!
ALL WHILE! she falls all over herself bc of how bad she wants him. i wanted to get her the fuck out of her OWN romance when i was reading that book. i could not believe what it was selling as real true love. garbage
next. i was debating if i should check out another book after that mess. bc i didn’t know if the other were also bad. and eventually just decided to start from the beginning (moment of silence 😞) and pulled up “the duke and i” and then as im reading the synopsis i stumble on a review detailing the plot and that describes the actual sexual assault in that book that gets played off as romance.
aaand i have NOT touched another bridgerton book since
i Have heard eloise’s book and romance is awful by mutuals who have read them all. and benedict’s is not very great either. francesca’s book may be the only worthy follow up to tvwlm. those 2 are generally considered the better ones of the series.
i’m still recovering from the ones i have read though so wont be able to confirm any time soon
in conclusion:
the viscount who loved me (my best friend still idc. not perfect but very gorgeous to me)
romancing mister bridgerton (hot garbage. argue with your mother)
the duke and i (burning books is not always bad. it would be fine here)
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Somewhere Only We Know - ONE
Chapter Warnings: goodbye earl (pet death), spoilers for 2x01 kinda??, this is a bit rushed bc it’s exposition but we get into the fun stuff next chapter
Masterlist
“Oh fucking hell.”
You hadn’t expected the first game of your new job to end like this but here you were creating Canva tribute posts for a deceased dog. Keeley directed you to make sure that you were focusing on solely sympathetic posts and honoring Earl. You had the press conference pulled up on one of your monitors to ensure you were catching what was being said along with the social media feeds.
And of course Ted Lasso did an excellent job honoring Earl. That man made your life easier.
A knock sounded on your office door and you raised your head to find Keeley peeking into your office. “You survived your first day! Better than Earl, I’d say.”
You choked back a laugh and motioned her to come in. “Christ, Keels, poor things not even buried yet.”
“Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to come see how you were getting on. Rebecca looked at the Insta with me and I have to say, your graphics are a hoot. Are you up for a task to do sometime this week?”
“Yeah, of course. It is my job, after all.”
She grinned. “Right, right. Well, Rebecca bought Barkingham Palace in honor of Earl and I would love it if you could go get some photos and videos with the dogs. They have some named after the players too! We have some little dog jerseys you can bring with you.”
“I can do that. Anything in particular you want to see?”
She bounced up onto her feet and shook her head. “Nope! Make it cute, make it fun. I know you’ll do a great job. You’re doing fabulous, babes.”
Raising your coffee mug in salute, you returned back to your work as she fled your tiny office in a wash of pink and glitter. Considering the tasks she could have given you, hanging out with a bunch of dogs wasn’t bad.
Three days later, you found yourself at Barkingham Palace with a golden retriever demanding pets and a staffie jumping up in an attempt to lick your face. You laughed in delight as dogs scrambled around you. You had successfully slid little Richmond jerseys over a few of the dogs heads and now a tiny Pomeranian was proudly sporting a Rojas jersey. A Border Collie wore a visor and whistle and you snapped a picture. You sent that one to Coach Lasso and received a GIF of a dog laughing in response.
Two Spaniels with McAdoo and Zoreaux jerseys made a great video with the way they tumbled over each other. One of the media guys you had recruited for help with capturing photos got a few shots of you being tackled by a Labrador wearing a Bumbercatch jersey.
The dogs were so cute that you even put your information down to volunteer in the future when you and Mikey, the photographer, packed up for the day. There was one little dachshund that kept following you around but there was no way you could get a dog, especially when your new job required you to travel frequently. Volunteering would help get in some well deserved snuggles.
By the time you got home, a few texts were waiting for you. Keeley asked for a few picture previews so you fired off some of the photos you had taken on your phone. One was from Higgins reminding you to swing by HR on Monday to finalize your travel waivers. Two were from unknown numbers who identified themselves as Sam Obisanya and Colin Hughes. They both sent friendly texts welcoming you to the team and you made a mental note to figure out what their favorite dessert was so you could make it for their birthdays. You sent a thank you text to both of them and sent them each a photo with a dog in their jersey.
Stripping off your fur covered clothes, your first priority was to take a shower before curling up on the couch and editing these photos for your post tomorrow. The TV played in some low drone in the background, some kind of stupid reality dating show where hot people dated and fucked like rabbits. It was mind numbing and didn’t require thought and you liked having something playing in the background as you worked.
You had a few videos already on the Instagram story from today and you went to check the engagement. Swiping your finger along the screen, you were relieved to see thousands of views and shares. People loved puppies and they loved football. If you combined the two, it was gold. One of the videos of you getting tackled by some of the loveable dogs made it in and people were loving it. Rebecca even texted you with a, “LOVE! So cute!!” so you were feeling great about your work.
Verified accounts were bumped to the top and you recognized a few of the players names. Zoreaux, Jan Maas, and a few others had viewed the stories, along with a name you didn’t recognize. Jamie Tartt. Was he the guy from that one underwear model? Or was he the Givenchy ad? You looked up at your television screen. Oh, never mind. He was the reality TV show manwhore.
Exiting Richmond's account, you changed your Instagram over to yours. There was far less engagement, but your simple baking account didn’t appeal to as many people as a football league. You loved designing different desserts, trying out recipes, and balancing out flavor combinations. Combined with your love for photography and design, you had a pretty prolific home baking account. It was the account you showed Keeley as your portfolio and now she and Rebecca both followed you. Oddly enough, Higgins did too.
Your face was rarely in the photos because you ran a one-woman show, but occasionally a friend would snap a great candid. Most of your pictures were treats, flowers, cool spots around London, or whatever you found cool. You liked showing your personality through photos and you didn’t care if your face wasn’t in there. The memories were present and that’s what mattered.
A few new followers had joined the fray and you were surprised to see some of the Richmond players among them. It wasn’t like you hid the account, but it wasn’t something you advertised as your name. Keeley must have told them.
But then there was that name again. Jamie Tartt. Why would some footballer turned reality star care about your panna cotta fails and award-winning lemon bars? Why would a guy who isn’t even playing for Richmond want to follow you, the social media manager?
Fuck it. It was too late to question the motives of some stranger. He was just another follower. Another number for engagement profiles. Maybe he was just interested in your slutty brownie recipe. Whatever, you needed to sleep so you could get to the stadium tomorrow and get these photos out.
Tag list: @shiptheship
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Disappointment
Part four
Warnings: arguing, crying, drama, breaking up
Words: 5394
—————
As soon as he got to work... it started again... his intrusive thoughts. Mean, debilitating thoughts. No matter what he did, he couldn't get rid of them. Why his brain wasn't cooperating with him?
He entered the police station in an angry mood. He noticed that Mare was standing at the front desk talking to someone. He didn't give a damn. He didn't even say hello to anyone. All he dreamed of now was coffee and his office. He headed to the kitchen and smiled at the sight of a full pot, freshly brewed coffee. He reached into the cabinet for a mug and poured a hot drink, inhaling its wonderful smell. He was already about to go to his office when....
- Has culture left you, Zabel? - Mare blocked his passage.
- I don't feel like talking. Let me through - he said with irritation.
- And do you know what I don't feel like talking about?
- I'm rather not interested in that - he rolled his eyes.
- What is the matter with you? Do you miss sex? - Mare laughed.
- I'm not complaining about the lack of it - he tried again to walk through the door.
- You are behaving really strangely. I think I will inform the chief to talk to you and set you straight. Zabel, we here do not tolerate such behavior. You might be in a bad mood. Okay. I understand, but you are supposed to behave culturally when you see me talking to the wife of the chief of our police station.
- What? I didn't know it was his wife - he made big eyes.
- She is a terrible gossip. In addition, she is in charge of inspecting all government employees in the county. There is no problem for her to transfer someone to another county. You wouldn't want that, would you?
Colin swallowed his saliva loudly.
- Fuck... no... of course not. Sorry, really. We've worse days with Marg...
- With Marg... well, exactly. Why is she away from work for so long? - Mare raised her eyebrows in thought.
- I... she gets sick... you see for yourself what the weather is like - he shrugged his shoulders.
- Interesting... just explain to me why the attendance list says Marg is on indefinite sick leave. And best of all, your signature is there. Don't make a fool of me, Zabel - she looked at him menacingly and closed the kitchen door. Now no one could hear their conversation.
- Mare...
- Talk! What did you do Marg? Is she dead or what? Well, because... I guess she's not pregnant?
- Mare... I...
- Oh my gosh! Are you kidding me? You're kidding me! Holly shit! I don't believe it! - Mare started laughing even louder.
- Mare, please be quiet - Colin tried to silence her.
- You came here a few months ago to help us with our investigation, and now you're going to become a daddy.
- I really didn't plan it - he sat down resignedly at the table and grabbed his head.
- Do you know what contraception is? - Mare also sat down at the table.
- Very funny - he looked at her and shook his head with dissatisfaction.
- How long has it been going on?
- But what?
- God, does it occur to you that you are going to be a father? - she sighed - what week is it? Or more simply. How long has Marg been pregnant?
- Hmm... it will soon be a month.
- A month? Wow. Okay... when did you find out?
- About two weeks ago.
- And you cheated on her with Roby when she wasn't in town... congratulations.
- How do you know? - he whispered.
- I know everything. Now I also know that Marg is pregnant.
- I beg... Mare... don't tell anyone. It's a fresh case, I don't want it to....
- Relax, I won't tell anyone. But the chief has already asked about Marg.
- Fuck... - he covered his face with his hands again.
- Okay, drink your coffee. In 30 minutes we leave. We need to talk to the owner of this factory again. Something seems to me that he transported the equipment somewhere himself to get the insurance money. It was definitely not a theft - Mare got up from the table - I'll see you in 30 minutes at the entrance - she left the kitchen.
Colin grabbed his coffee mug and quickly drank its entire contents. He shook his head to clear his mind and got up from the table. He put the mug in the dishwasher. He opened the kitchen door and looked out into the hallway. He looked around to see if anyone was around and left, quickly heading for his office. He didn't feel like talking to anyone anymore today.
——-
Colin returned home later than planned. It's always like this with Mare. She says they will finish at, let’s say, 6 p.m., but nevertheless they finish at 8 p.m. Then the report still has to be written. And so Colin enters the house at 9 p.m. Exhausted and dreaming of showering and sleeping.
He took off his coat and sat down on a chair by the door to take off his shoes. He was so tired that he didn't even have the strength to bend down. He straightened up and sighed loudly. He looked around the living room. Marg was not there. He began to listen. He heard the sound of water. She was taking a shower.
He got up with a groan and went to the kitchen to pour himself some water. He looked in the refrigerator and pulled out a slice of ham and a few pieces of cucumber. While eating it, he walked over to the calendar hanging on the wall. Marg scheduled pregnancy-related medical appointments. He liked the idea. He didn't have a head for dates, he always had to have everything written out in several places, otherwise he wouldn't be able to remember it.
He heard Marg leave the bathroom and go to the bedroom. He went upstairs and leaned against the doorframe. He watched Marg put on her pajamas. She sits down on the bed and starts brushing her hair. She was humming some kind of tune. She didn't realize Colin was watching her.
He walked over to her and sat down on the bed. She looked at him surprised.
- When did you come back? - she asked, putting the hairbrush down on the bed.
- About 20 minutes ago - he stood up and started taking off his clothes - I'm going to take a shower. Don't fall asleep without me.
He left the bedroom and went to the bathroom. Marg shrugged her shoulders at his behavior and went to bed.
Colin returned after 30 minutes and lay down next to Marg, but his back was turned to her. He was convinced she was asleep.
- How was your day? - she hugged his back and kissed him gently on the neck.
Colin was surprised by her sudden kiss, he was convinced she was already asleep.
- My day was... fine, nothing special - he sighed.
- Are you still mad at me? - she sighed too.
- No…
He didn't even hesitate to answer. It was obvious that he was not angry with her and had no reason to be.
- So one day I will be able to make a show for you again, and you will watch in awe? - she kissed his neck again.
He felt a bit surprised by her sudden mention, but he wasn't going to complain about it. It made him feel a little excited, but he decided to just keep his mouth shut and not say anything until she was done talking.
- Don't you want such a show again? - she sighed loudly and turned her back to him.
- What? No… I didn't say that…
He was confused as to why her behavior had suddenly changed so much. He wasn't sure why that was, or why she thought he didn't want that, when he absolutely did.
She turned to him again.
- So tell me, did you like what you saw? Me on the couch, touching myself, you in the chair across from me and watching?
- Y…yes… I…I enjoyed it... very much...
- If so, tell me more about it - she began to stare at him.
- Well… ummm…
He didn't expect her to ask him directly just like that. It made him feel a little uncomfortable. He didn't want to say anything stupid, so he pondered his answer for a few seconds before speaking up.
- I… I… just liked the way... you made...you made yourself happy... and... and that made me want to join you so badly....
- So why didn't you join me? I asked for it so badly - she raised an eyebrow.
- I just ... I didn't know if you were serious!
He tried to defend himself, but he really regretted it. Now he really regretted not joining in. "Fuck" he said to himself in his mind.
- I invited you several times, and you sat like you were glued to the chair - she rolled her eyes.
- I knew that, but I thought you were joking! Why would you want me to join you when you wanted to do it with yourself. It was supposed to be a show! - he found it increasingly difficult to remain calm - Why are we arguing about such silly things?!
This was already too much for her. She slapped him in the face. She was furious.
- I asked you several times to help me, but you just sat there and drooled at the sight of me! Why are you playing dumb now?! And you think all this was stupid for me?! Stupid?!
Colin was frozen. He was really shocked by the sudden slap in the face and didn't know what to say. He must have really screwed up. He deserved it.
He just realized that she was completely serious at that moment. He looked at her and saw the rage in her eyes. He felt ashamed that he had messed things up like that.
- I was so fucking serious! And you fucked up, Colin!
- I know… I understand that now…
He was angry with himself, not only for being such an idiot, but also for missing such an opportunity. He dreamed of it, but screwed up, as usual.
- I really don't understand it - she said in a calm voice. She looked like she was about to cry - I hate being pregnant - she whispered as if only to herself.
- I was scared, okay... that I would do something wrong - he said in a sad voice - I thought... I thought... that... I wouldn't be too gentle....
- I just wanted to end it with you, that's all.
- Sorry, when I'm tired I don't quite get everything…
- I was so fucking serious and desperate! - she slapped him again - you really deserved that slapped!
He closed his eyes and was silent for a moment.
- Okay, I get it… - he finally replied - I screwed up, I really get it...
She stroked his sore cheek.
- You'll be fine. I just didn't know what punishment I should have come up with for you.
- P…punishment? - he asked about it, although he definitely knew what she meant, he wanted to hear her say it clearly.
- Yes punishment, you disobeyed me when I needed you so much, you just screwed up.
- But what kind of punishment?
He still pretended not to understand what she wanted to say. Even though he was fully aware of what she was most likely planning to do.
- Fine, I have an idea for punishment. From today, no sex for two weeks. I will give myself pleasure when the urge strikes me. Without your participation, of course. I won't even inform you that I did it - she covers herself tightly with the quilt.
He felt a little uneasy about the idea. He wasn't sure if he would be able to survive two weeks like this. His head was full of thoughts, but he kept them to himself. He didn't want to act like he was begging her to change her mind.
- Well… fine… let it be…
- Just “fine”? Really? - she looked at him with suspicious eyes.
- What else should I say? I said “fine”, which means I accept your punishment.
- So the conclusion is that you don't care about sex with me at all?
- That's not what I said... - he said quickly, not wanting to start another argument with her - I only said that I accept your punishment, I didn't say that I don't care about sex with you, Marg....
- Explain, because I don't understand you. Be more specific, Colin… - she rolled her eyes.
- I just mean that… that I will survive these two weeks without sex. I just wanted to say that your punishment will not be.... will not be so bad for me.
- Won't it be that bad?!
He quickly realized that he had said something pretty dumb.
- I just meant that... I... I think I can manage without sex for two weeks... - he moved away from Marg fearing another slap.
- So what do you do when the urge for sex strikes you? - she asked curiously.
- Well, I just... I don't know... - he had to think for a moment before answering - I'll just masturbate and that's it - he shrugged his shoulders.
- Just masturbate… okay… - she nodded.
- What else should I do? I know you'd probably prefer it if I asked you to join me, but I don't know if I'm ready for that...
He felt really bad about it all. He didn't want a repeat of the "show”. He felt like he was always letting her down, like he wasn't proving himself as her fiancé. Maybe he shouldn't have asked her to marry him so soon...
- Okay, you are right. I didn't expect anything else. Sorry - she hugged his arm - you were thinking. What's the matter?
He didn't like to talk about his feelings and thoughts. Although, maybe this was a good opportunity for him to be completely honest about how he felt. Besides, he was stewing so much inside, and he was beginning to feel that he probably shouldn't keep so many thoughts to himself anymore. Maybe that's why he was always so stressed, he just kept too many thoughts locked up inside, and that wasn't good for him.
- Won't you be angry if I tell you?
- Go on, no worries.
- Well... it's just... I feel that... that, I'm not ready for this whole relationship... something is missing... and I feel that I made a mistake by proposing to you so soon... - at this moment, he preferred to stare at the ceiling rather than at her.
- Excuse me?! - she opened her mouth in surprise.
- I’m sorry, Marg! It's not that… that… I don't love you, I really love you... but I feel like...
He tried to say something sensible, but honestly had no idea why he felt that way. It was just something he felt deep inside. He couldn't explain it. He wasn't ready for such a serious step in his life. All these things made him feel confused and he started thinking about his previous relationship. About the failure and the breaking of the engagement.
- You don't want to be with me?! I don’t understand! - she was so furious that she was close to slapping him again.
- I just...
He was so worried now, he knew it would only get worse. He mentally prepared himself for another corporal punishment, if he failed to calm her down.
- Marg! I love you, I swear!
- You idiot! Did you forget, that I am pregnant?! You assured me that you would never leave me! Did you forget what you said?! Oh my god! - she started crying and screaming.
- Yes! I know… but…
He knew he was already making the situation worse, but he just couldn't back down now.
- I will still be there for the baby... just... just not as your fiancé, or husband... I'm not fucking ready!
- So as who! - she cried loudly, no longer knowing what to do. She felt like running away, now.
That's exactly right. He really meant it. He knew she wouldn't like it at all. He knew it wouldn't be easy. He couldn't stifle it in himself any longer. He really felt bad. So he just had to accept the consequences of his words.
- I’m sorry, Marg…
- What the fuck! Colin! I trusted you! I was so stupid!
- Just hear me out!
- Oh, what’s wrong with you?!
- You just have to understand me! It's not what it seems! I am not leaving you for another woman or anything like that! I just feel that I am not ready for such a commitment! Maybe it has to do with my previous relationship or childhood! I don't know!
- You are already an adult! Don't go back to your childhood! Grow up finally! In eight months you'll be a father, damn it! Zabel! - she shouted at him - If you're going to act like this all the time, I'd really rather become a single mother!
Her words hurt him, even though she was probably right. He shouldn't have behaved that way toward his pregnant fiancée. He had to accept responsibility and grow up, but he couldn't shake the feeling that everything was happening too fast. It was as if he had just been thrown into the highest level of adulthood without having experienced it before. And now he had to deal with it all. But she was right, it wasn't his ex's fault or his childhood. It was his fault. He longed to change, but didn't know how.
- Are you going to stare at me now and not say anything? Believe me, you are making your situation worse.
- No, you are right... I make myself look like a pathetic person.... I feel sorry for myself... I’m sorry, okay? I'm sorry...
His voice was breaking a little. He couldn't believe he had gotten himself into this situation, but now he was in too deep to back out.
- I really don't know what to think about all this. You really disappointed me, Colin - she said in a sad voice.
- I understand, I really understand...
He felt all the consequences of his honesty. He did not like such situations. He didn't like feeling this way. It was bad with him mentally and physically. He tried to say something.
- But please, you have to understand... I really care about both of you, I just....
He didn't know how to finish this sentence. He just didn't want her to be angry with him. But he knew it was too late for that.
- Just what?
- Please, you must try to understand my point of view... It's as if I skipped a whole phase of my life and now I have to deal with its consequences... and I'm not even sure I want to do that…
- So what do you want?
- I don't know... I care about you.... I just... I'm not sure I feel ready for this whole marriage thing. I know I'm not a child anymore, but looking at my life, I feel I still haven't grown up. But I still want to be around you. I want to help you raise our child.
- In that case, do you want to break up with me? - she felt anger sweep over her again.
- Yes…
He finally said the word he had been afraid to say for so long. It had happened, and it was too late to take it back.
- Fuck you, Colin! - she got out of bed, picked up some clothes and left the bedroom. She went downstairs.
He heard her start to get dressed and look for her car keys. She cursed him loudly.
- Wait! Marg! - he yelled after her when he heard her trying to open the door and leave.
He ran down the stairs, stumbling.
He couldn't believe he had fucked up everything like that. He now had terrible remorse. It was almost midnight. What an idiot he was! He hoped there was still a chance to fix it, but he knew that was highly unlikely.
- What?! Let me go! You've messed everything up enough!
- Don't leave yet, we still need to talk...
- About what?! You said you, were breaking up with me! - she tried again to open the door.
- Yes, but let me explain it a little more...
- Very funny! What do you want to explain? You have said enough!
- Well... as I said, I will be there for you and the baby, but as a friend, not as your husband...
- I don’t need a fucking friend! I need a boyfriend and then a husband!
- I'm sorry... but I don't want to be your husband... at least not yet...
- I'm leaving, really, enough… - she grabbed the handle and opened the door.
- Wait! Please! Please don't get in the car and drive away! Don't leave me! - he felt desperate, he didn't want her to leave him like this.
- I really don't have anything more to say…
- Are you going to just leave me like that?
He felt hurt that she decided to leave him so suddenly. He felt he was about to cry. It didn't occur to him what had just happened. He didn't want to believe that the conversation would end like this. He tried to grab the door handle and stop her from leaving.
- What do you want from me! I'm really tired, you know? Your behavior, Colin... I just can't take it anymore! I've been patient... but now... I'm leaving...
- Please! Please… just don’t go! I don’t want to lose you! Marg!
His fingers kept touching the door handle, trying not to let her just walk away. He didn't want to give up just yet.
- But you did…
- Yes, but... but I would still like to stay in your life! I screwed up! I know, I made a mistake! I don't know what got into me! I’m fucked up!
- I’m really confused, Colin. I need to think about it... but not here - she sighed - I don't want to be here anymore.
- Wait! Where are you going to sleep?
- My home.
- Are you staying there until you make a decision?
- I don’t know, I really don’t know.
- Well... I hope you won't stay like this for too long... I will miss you...
- I don't know if I will miss you. You disappoint me, Colin. It really hurts. I don't want to stress anymore. I'm pregnant, I can't stress.
- But… I… just…
He felt desperate again, and the thought of her being alone in her house, without him, made him feel even worse. He felt tears coming to his eyes.
- You just fucked up, Colin - she whispered and started crying.
- Fuck! Hey! Hey… don’t cry… please! - he was crying too.
- How? How do you want me to don’t cry? It’s impossible!
He was beginning to feel even more distraught, not only at the thought of losing her forever, but also at the sight of her upset in such a state, he was a terrible person for exposing her to all this.
He pulled her close and hugged her tightly.
- I know... I'm sorry really...
- I'm tired of all this...
He held her in a hug, not letting her go yet.
- I know... but please stay. I can't just let you go...
- You don't want me, I get it. You don't have to repeat or explain it to me.
- No, no… no I'm the one who messed up here... it's me, it's my fault... but we can fix it. I beg you to stay - he tried to fix it, he couldn't just end it.
- I want to go to sleep, I’m tired. But I don’t want to sleep with you. You’re sleeping on the couch - she released herself from his grasp.
- Please don't make me sleep on the couch...
- You did it to yourself, it wasn't me.
- I know, but... can't we spend one more night together? - he looked at her with pleading eyes.
- No.
- Please…
- I said no!
- So please, just one last hug!
- Don’t be ridiculous! You’re pathetic! - she moved upstairs to his bedroom - don't you dare come to me at night. You sleep on the couch, remember!
- I know…
He felt absolutely terrible about the idea of sleeping on the couch, it was as if she had completely pushed him away. He felt like he no longer had her trust, if not her love at the moment.
- Good night, Colin - she locked the bedroom door behind her.
- Good night, Marg… - he said with a slight defeat in his voice, watching Marg close the door. He then walked over to the couch to lie down on it, alone, feeling like the worst person ever - I love you, Marg - he whispered and closed his eyes.
———
Marg woke up at 5 a.m., sighed and got out of bed. She did not feel nauseous today. She felt pretty good, but she didn't get enough sleep. She went quietly to the bathroom. She saw that Colin was still sleeping downstairs. Being in the bathroom she cried, she couldn't stop it. She went back to his bedroom and started packing her things. She didn't want to leave anything behind. She quietly went downstairs and looked towards the couch where Colin was sleeping. He was breathing quietly. She was sorry that it didn't work out for them after all. She hoped they would get along somehow. Colin was apparently not ready for such a big step in his life.
She walked to the door and began to put on her shoes and coat. She heard Colin move.
He was still trying to fall asleep when he heard her moving. He opened his eyes and saw her getting dressed to go out.
- Are you going somewhere? - he asked, his voice sounding a bit tired. He was still half asleep, but he was beginning to feel that something was happening.
She did not answer right away. She merely looked at him with sad eyes.
- I'm going back to my house. I won't bother you with my person.
- But... - he got up quickly from the couch and walked over to her. He wanted to stop her - wait, we're not done talking...
- I don't want to talk to you right now. I want to be alone now, in my house. Please let me go.
- Can't you at least listen to me?
If only she had listened to him, they probably could have fixed it. That scenario in his mind couldn't look that bad, could it? He didn't want to accept that everything was over between them, at least not yet.
- Colin, please… - she felt she was about to cry again.
- Marg, please…
- I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to cry anymore - she began to cry while covering her face with her hands.
- Marg, oh no, please don't cry…
He felt terrible that he had put her in such a state. If only he had been more careful and not said such things, it probably could have been fixed. But no, he just had to screw it all up! He was willing to do anything to make her stop crying like that, she couldn't suffer because of him.
- I can't figure it out, I just can’t… I don’t understand you anymore!
A few tears also flowed into his eyes as he saw her break down. He really regretted not keeping his mouth shut. And the worst part was that he took the subject of their breakup as a priority, thinking only of himself. He just wanted to prepare her for the idea, not immediately pursue it. But, of course, it was clear that this did not go his way at all…
- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.... - he said, desperately trying to comfort her.
- Please, let me go - she walked to the door.
- Marg, please don't go... - he begged. He walked to the door to block it from her and not let her leave.
- Please… - she was still crying, but forced herself to look at him.
He tried to hug her. He really hoped she would let him. There was nothing left for him to do but try to comfort her with his arms. He knew that this always worked on her. But he didn't know if it would be effective this time, too.
Marg stepped back, seeing Colin's intentions. She shook her head negatively.
- Please, don't touch me - she whispered.
Colin noticed what she was doing as she tried to push him away. She didn't even want him to comfort her... He really messed it up...
This sight was breaking his heart. Her tears and her closed off attitude... she was done with him... He felt his heart shatter into pieces. He felt weak, tottering on his feet. He was speechless.
- I have to go. I want to be alone in my house. I want to think it all over. I want to rest.
- Marg… please… I…
- No, Colin. Please understand. I want to be alone now - she pressed the handle and opened the door - I'm not leaving forever. As I said, I have to think it all over - she stepped outside. She looked at him with weepy and sad eyes - goodbye, Colin…
She left, closing the door in front of him.
He stared blankly at the door. He stood there, not believing what had just happened. Marg was gone, she had really left him. She pushed him away.
He started breathing deeply, not really able to catch air. It was as if he started to panic. He needed to calm down. He went to the window, tilted the curtain slightly and watched Marg put her things in the car.
It still didn't occur to him what had just happened. He found himself in the worst possible scenario.
She got into the car and started it. He watched as she slowly backed out of the driveway. He felt like running after her, but his legs were heavy. His body refused to obey him. He sat resignedly on the floor and covered his face with his hands. He cried, unable to stop it. His world had collapsed. It was happening to him again. He tried to tell himself that it wasn't really happening. This was some kind of nightmare. She had really left him and was about to start living her own life without him. He knew that he had absolutely no one to blame for his failure and stupidity except himself.
He got up from the floor and walked quickly to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and took out a beer from it. He opened it and drank the entire contents of the bottle. He moved the bottle away from his mouth and looked at it. He shouted and threw it with all his strength on the floor. Glass splashed all over the kitchen and cabinets.
- Fuck! Fuck!
————-
@robnovetre
Part one
Part two
Part three
#evan peters#evan is my crush#love evan peters#yyyyyy_okay#american horror story#quicksilver#xmen#kai anderson#mr march funfic#colin zabel fanfic#colin zabel smut#colin zabel#mare of easttown#james march smut#james patrick march#fanfic
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in a vehicle / confessing feelings
for @amberlouigi who wanted this prompt for colin & isaac, i hope i did it justice!
Isaac has been sitting on this revelation for a while now. Getting used to it, learning how to live with this feeling in his chest so huge it threatens to swallow him whole. And now he’s going to say it, declare it, claim it. It’s fucking terrifying.
He’s not sure when it started. He was in too deep before he knew anything was happening. The timeline is all screwed up.
There were the before times, years and years full of friendship. Then there was that time between finding out Colin was gay and going to his house to apologise. The time they don’t speak about, when Isaac’s head was too full of noise and fear to make much sense of anything.
That was the night it smacked him in the face.
Sitting next to Colin on the couch asking him question after question until he was answering one of his own with too much confidence to be entirely theoretical. He didn’t know he was in it til it was too late, didn’t know it was something he could be in until he pulled Bumbercatch’s name out and then suddenly it was all he could think about.
He knew guys were, like, objectively fit. But he’d never really considered where he was in relation to that, or where he’d like to be. Turns out he’d like to be in the thick of it, right up close and personal.
They finished out the game but Isaac doesn’t remember who won. All he remembers are the different scenarios he had playing out in his head. Did he want to kiss Bumbercatch? A little, but mostly in the same way he wanted to kiss anyone hot. Just to try it, just because he could, but not in an earth shattering kind of way. So he probably wasn’t into Bumbercatch. Did that mean he wasn’t gay? Or that other one, the one like his baby sister. Bisexual. Huh. Okay. That word was only a little less scary.
But surely he’d have known. So if he wasn’t into Bumbercatch, was there someone else, someone more his type. He thought about all the girls he’d kissed, shagged, fallen in love with. Women who were fit and silly and liked a laugh, who went pint for pint with him and joined him on the dancefloor.
“‘Nother round, boyo?” Colin had asked, tapping Isaac’s empty beer bottle with his own.
Which had of course led Isaac to looking. Wondering. Thinking. Imagining. What would it feel like to kiss Colin? What would it feel like to go out clubbing and dance with him, instead of just near him? He thought about pulling Colin close, holding him tight, moving together, hands on his hips, thumbs in the waistband of his jeans.
Colin was standing in front of him, still waiting for an answer, and Isaac had to stop thinking about it.
Isaac couldn’t stop thinking about it, because Colin was standing right in front of him, his shirt riding up and Isaac could see his tummy, the trail of hair leading down to his …
“Nah, I gotta go,” Isaac said, jumping up and winding up almost chest to chest with Colin. “Another time though, yeah?”
That was nearly a year ago now.
He’s been sitting on it for A While.
But Isaac had to make sure. He had to double check his answers, be careful. He had to know he wasn’t going to say something he didn’t mean. He couldn’t lie about something like this. Not to Colin.
He couldn’t say he liked men, maybe liked his best friend more than he was supposed to, because what if he was wrong?
So Isaac made sure.
And by the time he was sure, Colin and Michael were on the rocks and he had to be the supportive best friend. He sat through conversations about their relationship, gave genuinely good advice that was totally unbiased, and then when they finally broke up, he, Bumbercatch and Jamie took Colin out to get wasted and dance it off.
Then he had to wait to make sure he wasn’t going to be Colin’s rebound guy. At which point, Roy pulled him aside and told him to pull his finger out, which was super embarrassing and he never wants to think about that particular boot room conversation ever again.
Roy in a healthy committed relationship is the worst kind of Roy to get advice from. He gets all sincere. And smiley. It’s honestly a little creepy.
But now they were here. Him and Colin in a car together for the three hours it was going to take to drive to Cardiff for Colin’s aunty’s birthday. Alone. Just like Isaac planned.
And now he thinks he might be bottling it.
Colin – in the passenger seat, because like hell was Isaac letting him drive all that way, he’d prefer it if Colin never drove again actually – is singing along to whatever Jamie T song is playing, totally oblivious to Isaac’s crisis.
Just because Isaac is very good at not talking about his feelings doesn’t mean he doesn’t want people to notice when he’s shitting bricks beside th–
“You okay in there, Isaac?” Colin asks, cutting in over Isaac’s spiralling.
“Huh?”
He reaches across and rubs his thumb up and down between Isaac’s eyebrows. “You’ve got your emotionally constipated brow furrow going on. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah bruv. ‘Course it is.”
He glances over, catches the almost reassured look on Colin’s face. He can practically hear Roy’s voice in his head: are you really going to let an opener like that go?
Fuck it.
“Um actually. There’s some stuff I’ve been wanting to tell you.” It really is so much easier like this, eyes on the road, hands on the wheel. He can say it to the road in front of them, just like he’s been practising in the mirror. “Nothing bad, I promise, yeah? I just need you to listen.”
“I can do that,” Colin says. And it’s Colin. It’s fucking Colin. He’s Isaac’s best friend. He’s been building it up in his head for so long, he kind of forgot that Colin is the easiest person in the world to talk to.
“So uh. You know how you’re gay?”
Colin splutters, trying to keep his laughter in and failing.
“Yeah, Isaac. I know how I’m gay.”
“Right. Well. Me too. Sort of. Half. I’m bisexual, or whatever.” He knew he should have rehearsed this bit longer. I’m bisexual, or whatever, real smooth. Wanker.
Colin doesn’t laugh though. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything at all, which would freak Isaac out if he wasn’t used to the way Colin goes blank when he processes new information. It’s like he’s uploading software and needs to restart. It’s cute. Fuck, he’s so cute.
“Thanks for telling me. It’s not an easy thing to say,” Colin says. He puts his hand over Isaac’s on the gearshift and squeezes.
“There’s more. Um. Yeah, I’m just going to… I’m kind of in love with you?”
Colin doesn’t go blank this time. Isaac watches out of the corner of his eye as Colin’s mouth drops open.
“Can you pull over?” he asks, and that is not exactly what Isaac wanted to hear, but he does it anyway. If Colin doesn’t want to be in the car with him anymore, Isaac sure as hell isn’t going to keep him here.
They haven’t even made it to the motorway yet, which turns out to be a blessing. Isaac pulls in behind a big white van. He reads all the information on the back of it while he waits for Colin to leave or say something, and considers calling the number and getting his mum’s conservatory renovated for her.
When Colin finally finds his words, they’re not the ones Isaac was expecting.
“Can you say that again?”
Isaac turns to look at him. He doesn’t look upset. He doesn’t look confused or freaked out or angry or any of the things that Isaac was dreading. He looks shocked. But beneath the shock there’s something a little like hope.
Isaac latches onto the hope, ties it to his own to make it double.
“I’m in love with you.”
Colin breathes in. Breathes out. “Not kind of?”
“What?”
“Before, you said ‘kind of’. You’re not kind of in love with me?” Colin asks, and he’s smiling now.
“Nah. That was a lie. I’m definitely in love with you.” It keeps getting easier every time he says it.
Colin laughs. “Cool.”
Isaac opens his mouth to say Cool back, because he’s starting to understand the need to reboot with new information, but he doesn’t get anything out before Colin launches himself across the centre console.
Kissing Colin is nothing like kissing any of the guys in packed clubs. It’s soft and sweet, the two of them smiling too much to kiss properly. Isaac’s seatbelt is cutting into the side of his neck, and Colin is talking into the kiss, but it’s still making Isaac smile dopily.
“I’m definitely in love with you too,” Colin says, words pressed into Isaac’s lips. “Like, have been for a while. Probably will be for a really long time. Hope that’s okay.”
Isaac doesn’t answer. Colin’s always been better with words anyway. He just keeps kissing him until he shuts up, and then he kisses him more.
They’re an hour late to Aunty Megan’s birthday. But they walk in holding hands and Isaac knows some things are worth the wait.
#i really wanted to post it tonight so i hope it doesn't feel too rushed!!#colin hughes#isaac mcadoo#colin x isaac#ted lasso#madeleine writes#amberlouigi
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i don't want to be mean or anything but like. the cr/t/cal r/le girlies in the dimension 20 tag are just sending me like, i just Knew these people be just all over this season and diving in and dissecting every little detail and speculating for the larger picture (of six episodes) (plus a season that's already been out for a year) as though people like. haven't been having to Sit with the Very, Very unfinished/untold part of the world of this campaign setting for Years already? (the Widely Established Fanlore of it all XD) although that's also been also been folding in the face of. all the colin posts (like Specifically colin too past even colin+raphaniel or colin+deli). like they fell for the cr bait so hard- group of fans starved for mlm content based on their typical cr diet, see a guy (Just Some Guy) looking the way he was, see his mysterious past and divorce and arc and glowup and post-divorce talks and. yknow. whaddya gonna do. that's all they're gonna talk about when the EXPLICITLY mlm radish priest who's been grooming that VERY SAME cheese guy for five years is right there.
anyways i'm going to write all that off anon and pretend i'm not deathly scared of invoking the wrath of cr fans after that thing on twitter
IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY FUNNY YEAH. gonna address the colin part first then talk about my problems with the season under a spoiler. listen I think deli & colin are very real in that deli wants him SO bad but it's crazy that people are dancing around colin's whole thing with raphaniel. like what do you guys think was going on there 😭 'he's his babysitter' SAY IT OUT LOUD! he was fucking that radish
now for my thoughts about the plot and pacing of ravening war
I do not like that this season (that was supposed to be about a war covering 7+ years of intense political conflict and full-scale warfare involving every country in the continent) got boiled down to 2 massive timeskips & 3 battle episodes of five guys fucking around in a cave because the entire war was actually started by a secret cult. there were no battles involving the actual war + 1 skill check for entire 5 years at a time + almost nothing politics wise + they missed the ENTIRE climatic final push for the end of the war because they were underground. it's so poorly paced, I really don't know what to say. am I the crazy one here for wanting a season about the ravening war to be about the war? it just doesn't feel like the characters had any impact on the plot past episode 3 and they ONLY because they kill the queen of candia because a cult told them to. because we get alliances forged and broken and conflicts ended and rulers crowned within the span of a single sentence from the DM before we chug back off to the mycelium hivemind main plot. hot take but every season does not in fact need a plot twist big bad to fight
all of the characters in the season are genuinely the most interesting characters I've seen in YEARS. it's a goddamn shame we didn't get to spend more time with them. it sucks that each of them brought so much intrigue and backstory to the war, but every single one of them ended up contributing not much at all to the scale of the campaign because, again, the final boss turned out to be a cult within the top secret cult of mushrooms that was ALREADY a secret but there is also ANOTHER, more powerful deity to fight in the very last episode. we needed more episodes, or less time spent on battles. we needed to not bring on a DM known for having all the time in the world to wrap up years-long campaigns in 5 hour chunks at a time, for a 6 ep miniseason. we did not need two more powerscaled deities for no reason to a war that should have been about the people and not... random alien eldritch forces. we needed closure on amangeaux's child, we needed to know WHY raphaniel was poisoning the king and starting a war in the first place. aabria wrote a whole essay about karna's backstory that I would've loved to see in the show itself, but... we didn't get to see it! there were almost no politics. we did get 4 separate secret underground mushroom fights though. in a campaign about a war.
"real life is messy! not everything gets wrapped up neatly! it reflects real wars!" this is a dnd show sir and when you spend 20 minutes out of 12 hours of content actually talking politics and the rest of the time fucking around with mushrooms in a cave, it starts to look less like a deliberate artistic choice and more like poorly paced plot threads that didn't get a chance to finish.
#and do not get me started on how dirty the rocks sisters were done.#asks#i-can-do-tricks#ravening war
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Hey Kat! @mybrainismelted
Here is Drabble challenge 34 , as asked.
“ You work for me. you are my slave “
Please note, GILF ( Ginger I’d Like to F@*k )
Ian was finally home after ten years in the military, two Purple Hearts, and a Medal of Honor. Gnarly chest scars and nightmares about the brothers he could not save. He was not ready to go into EMT work yet but needed routine.
Mandy Milkovich. Bestie and Beard since freshman year. Flew out to Walter Reed and held his hand, making sure he wanted to still live. Now a regular at his and Carl's apartment. Her brothers owned Kings of the Southside Ink and her brother Mickey, the star tattooist, temperamental shit and hot beyond the dirty, angry older brother who would flop on the couch and give him and Mandy crap.
He was also in need of an assistant and receptionist, and somehow Mandy talked Ian into the job. After two weeks, he understood why the position was open. The appointment book was a mess, their insta needed an upgrade, and the complimentary beverage and snack service reminded Ian of the psych hospital.
And then there was his direct boss, Mickey. Surly and sexy, the man had no filter and no boundaries. Hard working for a man you either wanted to strangle or suck off. It was also harder as his phone blew up each day with the requests, demands, and ramblings of the raven-haired thug.
He had just come back from his run when the phone vibrated.
Pocket Jefe: Hey, is the place you get coffee the place with the coffee I like?☹️
GILF: You drink it black; literally, anywhere I go has the coffee you like.
Pocket Jefe: That’s what I pay you for; how the fuck would I know which shop? I never go to any.
GILF: That’s because your ass was banned from like 9 by the shop because of your donut tantrums.
Pocket Jefe: What, you don’t care about donuts?”
GILF : Well, I am always a fan of a glazed hole.😜
Pocket Jefe:🖕🏻
Back at the shop, Mickey was beet red, grabbed his coffee, and fled to his station.
——————————
Ian was enjoying the quiet of Staples, which he knew would not last. His phone lit up with photo of a sleeve of gears and lilies, Mickey.
Pocket Jefe:🎤 Whips and chains excite me.
GILF: Are you asking or telling me?
Pocket Jefe: Keep up the Gallagher. Song. What’s the name of the song with those lyrics?
GILF : Ok, again, I cannot read your mind; I need a little more than your professing love of BDSM for me. Which FYI , I am a fan. You a power bottom by chance? Also, it’s Rhiana, S&M.
Pocket Jefe: Jeez, this assistant of mine makes my dick twitch.
Pocket Jefe: Shit, did I send you a text by accident? FYI, not about you.
GLIF: What text, Mick?
Pocket Jefe: Don’t worry, your pretty head, sweetheart, just get back here, oh, and bring me a big ass snickers. 🍫
Ian smiled and filed the information he had just given away for a later date.
————————————
Ian had just settled after a long day of explaining to Iggy that if he did not write down appointments, Ian could not add them. He had ice cream, jacked off to a certain pair of blue eyes, and was about to watch Drag Race. He had just settled in when his phone almost vibrated off the coffee table.
Pocket Jefe: WTF, Gallagher! You asked Colin about ink?
Pocket Jefe: What you don’t trust me, that stings, man. ☹️
Pocket Jefe: I do much better scar coverage.
Pocket Jefe: not being nosy, but saw those when you changed into a skin-tight tee. This is a semi-professional atmosphere Army, not a rub-in tug.
GILF: I never asked you cause last time I mentioned your work, you were your usually grumpy prick self and threatened to stab me with your Taco Bell spork. You were watching me change; I used to charge guys to see that. So you think of yourself as my pimp?
Pocket Jefe: Fuck you, is what I think. Enough of this touchy-feely bullshit. Enough chitchat; my appointment is running late. Can you go feed Carl Barks and Noodles for me? Oh, and get me some Pringles, a BBQ, and a pack of smokes. You know the code to my loft.👍
GILF: You know I am off, right?”
Pockey Jefe: You get off when I tell you to get off. You work for me. You are my slave. "C'mon, please.“
GILF: Fucking fine, you need me to peel you a grape too? 🤬
Pocket Jefe: I mean, I wouldn’t say no. Seriously, when you get there, just text me and let me know everything is fine. If you want to stay, we can maybe talk about a coverup piece or something.
GILF: Ohhhh, can we have pizza and a sleepover too?
Pocket Jefe: Your pushing it, keep talking back, and your going from slave to sex slave.
Pocket Jefe: Umm, damn autocorrect, sax slave, not sex 🎷
GILF: Whoring me out to Kenny G? 🥹Bummer.
Pocket Jefe: 🖕🏻
Ian grinned. He was about to get either fired or fucked; he hoped for the latter.
————————
Mickey was just cleaning up his station, and his focus was not on his big fat tip from this work.
Ian Gallagher.
He secretly crushed on the gangly redhead when he would hang with Mandy. He knew about Ian’s history as a medic and the almost-life-ending injury that ended his career. But he saved five that day, who, by accounts, should not have survived the firefight. Deep scars were over that broad chest and hard abs. The story made those scars beautiful. He was always flustered around Gallagher, but he thought he hid it well.
His phone vibrated, he glanced, his mouth went dry, and the warm tingle went to his crotch. Gallagher sent a photo.
Tight Kings tee, a truly Godzilla-size cock trying to break out of blue boxer briefs. A motherfucking collar. And on a silver platter no less, a small whip, a chain, grapes, and a big ass tube of strawberry lube.
A text
GILF: Waiting for you to tell me when I can get off; may I peel you a grape in the meantime, sir? 🫦
Mickey grabbed his keys and jogged out to his car, eager to go blow Ian’s sax.
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PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 8 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU
summary: you finally tell Jamie.
word count: 450 words
warnings: language, mention of pregnancy loss
-
chapter 8: now I understand
You found yourselves at a park near home sipping on some hot tea, trying to keep the nerves at bay before you lifted a lid on what had been a real nightmare for you.
“It’s not you, Jamie,” you repeated yet again.
“You keep fucking saying that but it don’t mean fucking nothing. I saw you at Keeley’s party. Got me fucking heart racing and everything. That night was fucking good, that. We were so fucking good together and I thought seeing you again…” Jamie trailed off before clearing his throat and continuing, “then I saw your face and you weren’t happy to see me.”
“Jamie…” your heart broke hearing Jamie’s harsh internal monologue. You genuinely had liked him. You probably would still like him had it not all happened the way it did.
“Colin asked me to go on this stupid fucking date. Said his lad had someone perfect for me. I’d usually say no but seeing you, I don’t know. It did something to me head, thought maybe I should meet someone new and just fucking get over you. But, it was a fucking date with you and I just watched you spend two hours looking at me like I’m the fucking worst when I had thought maybe it was a fucking sign that it was you in that seat tonight. So, fucking tell me then, you said I fucking didn’t do nothing but you ghosted me and you look like a fucking ghost everytime I’m around.”
“I was pregnant.”
And in an instance, the air changed entirely. Shock and confusion settled over Jamie as he tried to grasp what you were saying.
“I found out when I got to Australia and it just… it wasn’t viable. I would’ve told you but…” you trailed off as Jamie sat in stunned silence.
“Four years ago? That one fucking time?”
“All it takes, apparently,” you quipped, laughing a little, “and so, it’s less about you and more about me, Jamie. I just… I got too attached too early and I can’t look at you without thinking about it. Would’ve been three this year. Imagine having a toddler.”
“Fuck,” Jamie sighed, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you went through that alone. That’s fucking shit. But, I’m here now. And you’re here. We-“
“There’s no “we”, Jamie,” you cut in a bit more harshly that you had intended. You closed your eyes, rubbing your temple with your fingers before looking back at Jamie.
“I like you, Jamie. Wouldn’t have fucked you if I didn’t,” you laughed sadly, “but I don’t think we can be together.”
Before Jamie had the chance to say anything else, you were standing and walking away after one last “Bye, Jamie”.
< chapter 7 | master list | chapter 9 >
#jamie tartt#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt x ofc#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt fic#jamie tartt imagine
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Hello! I loved your Colin x reader fic, can you do an 18+ x reader fic of Shrignold pls??
Thank you ^_^ , here’s 2 anon!
————
Dom Shrignold who tells you lies and pretends to care for his own selfishness. :( (except for the part where he says you’re his)
Human! Rough! Manipulative!Shrignold x sub reader // she/her pronouns
TW; NSFW, nothing like a good ol’ human sacrifice, manipulation, creampie.
‘Huff’ “Hah..ah…” “F-fuck..” ‘FWAP’
“Pretty girl all m-mine yeah?” Passionate thrusts against your trembling cunt followed by desperate cries and strained grunts. A burning sensation was slowly building up inside of you, getting ready to release all over his hard cock.
“Shit.. shit!” The squelching of your pussy was getting louder as his thrusts turn abusive on your cunt, rapidly trying to reach his peak. His fingers reach down between both of your molded sweaty bodies to rub at your clit, staring intensely at his red furious cock pounding at your aching pussy.
“M’gonna cum honey, fuck! Can I cum inside you baby?” ‘FWAP’ “F-fuck.. lemme cum inside you baby, wanna fill you with my cum.. make you mine forever.” ‘FWAP’ “Shit shit shit!” You let out a surprised shriek as you feel the hot liquid shoot inside of you, filling you to the brim immediately causing your own release to follow soon after. “Haa.. there y’go honey, you did so good fo’me..”
He huffs out inbetween breaths as he places kisses onto your skin, suckling softly and tenderly as if it would break you. “I love yeh, you did so good f’me, so proud of you. Now sleep baby, I’ll be here for you when you wake up..” Your eyes start to close as your mind begins to doze off, but before your brain could fully shut off you could’ve sworn you heard him say “Even if you don’t want me to be..” Though he would of course deny it when you asked him the next morning, but for now that didn’t matter. He was ecstatic, he couldn’t wait to tell the others.
#he might like lying 2 u a little too much#all 4 the cult#dhmis smut#dhmis x reader#dhmis#dhmis shrignold#shrignold the butterfly#dhmis shrignold x reader#x reader#smut#shrignold the butterfly x reader#poor girl
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Rarepair fave is def Merdred, those mfs had Vibes™ that were just.... Something else. Like, they needed to be locked in a room so they could either talk it out, fight it out, or fuck it out. Something. Anything. Because I really think if not for that goddamn prophecy, Merlin would like Mordred! A lot! Another sorcerer that's actually on his side, actively helping him! Tbh, I think he liked him in canon, even though he didn't want to, which just adds to the Angst of them.
Fave scenes of them are in "With All My Heart" when Mordred says he hopes he and Merlin can be friends and you can just see Merlin internally screaming at a volume to break glass, and in "The Drawing of the Dark" when Mordred asks why Merlin always thinks the worst of him, and again, you can see that moment of Merlin just being weighted by what he knows and being unable to say it.
And for a fic rec: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25627360 (it is smut, but there are also feels, and it's Mordred POV)
FINALLY! THANK YOU!
I really think if not for that goddamn prophecy, Merlin would like Mordred! A lot!
He did like him! He said it himself!
GAIUS: If Mordred wished Arthur ill, he has had ample opportunity to do so. He's a likeable boy, Merlin.
MERLIN: I know. I like him myself, but I can't ignore what I saw.
— From The Disir, Ep 5x05
That's what makes it tragic, they could get on, they could be friends, they actually have much in common — but Merlin can't afford to get close to Mordred because of what he knows/thinks Mordred's going to do.
Here's my thoughts about this ship:
Arguments in favour:
• ENEMIES TO LOVERS
• the delicate balance of power: Alex and Colin go on quite a bit about Mordred and Merlin's relationship in the commentary to ep 5x02. Mordred technically outranks Merlin, given he's a knight and Merlin is just a servant, but also Merlin is Emrys and, as a Druid, Mordred is aware (and likely in awe) of his role and power. And they are both the unwilling keeper of the other's secret, as they both have to hide their magic in Camelot. It makes for an interesting dynamic.
• Like I said, it's tragic that Merlin had to keep Mordred at arm's length (emotionally) because they had some common ground: they both loved Arthur — I mean they both cared about him, and they both had faith in him. Mordred believed that Arthur would bring about a golden age just as much as Merlin did! They both yearned for peace, and they both had to stain their hands with blood to survive. They both had to go through so much trauma.
KARA: You're a knight.
MORDRED: That doesn't matter.
KARA: Of Camelot. Why, Mordred?
MORDRED: Arthur is a good man.
KARA: I can't believe you'd say that.
MORDRED: You don't know him.
— From The Drawing of the Dark, Ep 5x11
• As with Sefa, I think Merlin could benefit from having a Druid partner.
• Merlin glaring at Mordred is pretty hot. He also gets slammed into a wall by him which, again. Pretty hot.
• They could literally mind-fuck each oth— [gunshot sound]
Fave scenes of them are in "With All My Heart" when Mordred says he hopes he and Merlin can be friends and you can just see Merlin internally screaming at a volume to break glass, and in "The Drawing of the Dark" when Mordred asks why Merlin always thinks the worst of him, and again, you can see that moment of Merlin just being weighted by what he knows and being unable to say it.
Both great scenes! I love all the scenes they have together, I think. The way Mordred always looks and sounds vaguely menacing without doing or saying anything outright evil. They way he is desperate for Merlin's approval :(
My favourite Merlin & Mordred scene has to be the one from episode 5x05 (The Disir).
MERLIN: It won't always be like this. One day we will live in freedom again.
MORDRED: You really believe that?
MERLIN: I do.
Beat. They both look down at the grave.
MORDRED: Until then, we go unmarked in death as in life.
— From The Disir, Ep 5x05
It's a rare moment of bonding between them. Mordred appeals to their shared nature ("he was one of us") and, for once, Merlin puts down his defences. He offers Mordred a few words of comfort ("It won't always be like this"). And then Mordred hits him with that fucking PROFOUND line and Merlin doesn't know what to do with it.
This is not the horrible future-murderer he's made Mordred up to be in his head. This is a boy with hope in his eyes and kindness in his heart (still). It speaks so much of what they could have been if destiny hadn't got in the way. (I've also gone on about Merlin's complicated relationship with other magic folks in another post. Yes, I have many feelings about it).
I love that scene from ep 5x11, too, ("Everything I do, you think the worst") — probably my second favourite scene with these two.
It starts out with Merlin being so confrontational and aggressive, but it ends with Merlin deciding to trust Mordred, for once. Perhaps reluctantly, but he does.
It's tragic that he seems to open up to Mordred when it's too late. I've touched on before on why I think it is that it happens at this moment. Merlin has literally been in Mordred's position. In fact, some of the dialogue in this scene echoes Merlin and Gaius's confrontation in ep 2x09, when Merlin was ready to run away with Freya.
If that wasn't clear enough, we also have Mordred asking Merlin directly:
Tell me you wouldn't do the same for the woman you love.
But of course Merlin would. He has. Well, he's tried to.
But again, because of what he knows about Mordred, Merlin can't let Mordred escape, even though he gets what he's trying to do, and doesn't blame him for trying.
I also like when Mordred angrily confronts Merlin later in the same episode. His outburst shows how he is well aware of how unfairly Merlin has been treating him, and although he's been remarkably chill about it up until now, it doesn't mean he's not angry and resentful about it. He may not show his emotions much, but he's not unfeeling.
"You did it because you hate me", he says, and "This time you've gone too far!"
THIS IS A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH. It's also a reminder of how much Mordred has been putting up with — for all he knows, Merlin hates him for no good reason. I think it says something about Mordred's nature that he only truly snaps when Merlin's meddling threatens the person he loves. MY STABBY CHILD IS FULL OF LOVE OKAY
I just think they have such an interesting dynamic!
I can see why they wouldn't be a super popular pairing, given Merlin's attitude to Mordred in the show and what Mordred ends up doing. And also the age gap, I guess (I personally don't find it too weird because the actors are so clearly close in age that it can be easily brushed off, but I can see why other people might find it off-putting).
Fanfics
THANK YOU for the fic rec anon, I've skim-read it and it looks very much up my alley ♡
I actually haven't gone looking for many Merlin/Mordred fics. I've a read a few ages ago, most of them just short ficlets, but I only have one bookmarked. It's the fic that put Merlin/Mordred on my radar:
Set in Stone by EachPeachPearPlum (on AO3).
It's a relatively long fic (almost 50k words), so there is space to explore Merlin and Mordred's relationship.
I actually read it before watching the show properly (I basically watched a bunch on scenes from the show and dipped my toes in fanfiction before deciding to watch all of the series).
I haven't re-read it since, and I don't even remember how it ultimately deals with the whole prophecy thing, if it even gets to that point (I think the author meant for this to be part of a series but they didn't continue, although this story is complete). But the prophecy was addressed, with what I thought was an interesting twist.
(I won't say anything too spoiler-y in case anyone wants to check it out, but Mordred is actually aware of the prophecy and he even knows an extra bit about Merlin which Merlin himself doesn't know about. It's revealed pretty early in the story, so it's not really a spoiler).
It touches on some aspects of Merlin and Mordred's relationship that I find fascinating, so I think it's worth a read if you're interested in this pair.
Random lil' excerpt:
"I am not a child, Emrys," Mordred hisses, leaning in close; Merlin suspects he's going for menacing, but all it really comes off as is petulant, which sort of proves his point. "I was the last time you tried to kill me, but not now."
And then there are words in Merlin's head, words he is powerless to stop, filled with a rage that is everything and nothing all at once. Keep your reasons to yourself, Emrys, but do not try to placate me with what we both know are lies.
Mordred stands then, the expression on his face one of youthful rage, burning bright and burning quickly, and Merlin wishes he was right. If Mordred wasn't so young, Merlin could kill him without hesitation, could dream about him without hating himself (or without hating himself quite so much, since the fact that Mordred is destined to destroy everything Merlin is destined to protect is at least as much of a concern as Mordred's age). This could all be over and done with, one way or another.
"Get out of here, Mordred," Merlin snarls. "You live because I let you, and you live for as long as I let you. Do not tempt me."
I JUST THINK IT'S HOT WHEN HE THREATENS TO MURDER PEOPLE OKAY
I'm just going to bring this post back to your attention. There are dozens of us! (people who find mean Merlin sexy). DOZENS
As a final note — my Italian brain refuses to call this ship Merdred. There's got to be a better name for it 😭
#mermor? that sounds kind of cute. is it anything.#mordlin? so it can't be confused with mergana#anyway. the tragedy THE ANGST of falling in love with the person you're trying to bring yourself to hate#you're all sleeping on this ship#(i will ignore any mean ask about this pair btw just fyi)#i also don't think merlin entirely realised how fucking hostile towards mordred he was coming across??#like i think in his mind he thought he was being subtle which i find fucking hilarious#asks#rarepair propaganda#merlin and mordred#mordred is a loving pacifist (he has killed people)#creepy knights' rights#ps. to all the people saying mordred is just autistic: I see you and I love you
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Unsolicited 2
Warnings: bad self-thought/talk, bullying, insults, low self-esteem, money problems, more dark elements to come.
Wouldn't mind some feedback! Lloyd was driving me nuts so I had to do it. Thank you in advance 💜
On your way out, you stop and grab a few groceries to justify your trip to the mall. You still have a lot to do when you get home and your mind’s already three steps ahead; tidy up, put everything away, wrap the gift, and the most tedious task of getting yourself done up. The reservation you made a week ago fills you with dread.
You pop the trunk and drop in the bags, tucking the watch safely between them. As you close the trunk, a hand slaps down on the metal, startling you. It’s him, that man.
“Excuse me,” he steps closer and you back away, “try not to dirty my car.”
You frown as he gets nearer and side steps you. You look around at the Lexus parked just behind your beat up Neesan. Fuck, really?
You huff and shake your head as you skirt around to the driver’s side, “you take that watch back for grocery money or–” You ignore him as you unlock the car door, “I got some spare change in my glove compartment if you really need the gas money.”
“Shut the fuck up,” you snap as you swing your door open.
“I might even take my wallet out if you take the coat off. Heave up the tits and–”
You growl and drop into the seat. Before you can slam the door, it’s caught and you look up at the man as his hand holds it back. Panic thumps in your chest and you pull on the handle frantically.
“What the fuck– get–” You hit the horn with your other hand, “help–”
“Oh, shut up,” he snarls and lets the door go. It snaps closed and you jolt in the seat.
He bends down and taps on the window with his knuckles. You ignore him as you hit the lock switch and fumble with your keys. Why won’t he leave you alone? You twist the ignition and the engine chuffs to life.
He steps in front of your car as he reaches under his jacket. He slips out his leather wallet and plucks out a bill. He waves it in the air.
“How about a backseat handie, babe?” You hit your horn again and he winces, covering his ears, “fuck! It’s the best offer you’ll get.”
You hit the gas, lurching forward so he staggers away. He drops the bill and stomps his foot as he stops.
“Woah, woah, baby, I’m tryna apologise here.”
“Get the fuck out of my way,” you holler through the windshield, “now!”
You let off the break again and he stumbles out of your path. You roll on and he kicks the side of your car. You squeeze the wheel as your adrenaline pumps through your veins. As you steer between the rows of vehicles, your tears spill out at last.
You idle at the end of the column and take out your phone. You check your rearview. There’s no one behind you. Still, it’s good to be prepared. Just in case.
You breathe out and leave your phone unlocked in the passenger’s seat. You put your hands back on the wheel and continue through the lot, finding the nearest exit as you keep checking your side and rear mirrors.
As you turn onto the street, you see a flash of dark blue, the same shade as the Lexus. You putter at the red light and look over your shoulder then check your mirror again. It’s not there. You’re paranoid.
You wipe your face and sniff up your fear. You just want to get home and get everything sorted out. It was just one very strange, upsetting encounter. You aren’t going to let it ruin Colin’s surprise.
💎
"Babe, did I tell you how hot you look?" Colin purrs as he pulls out your chair.
You blush, touching your warm cheeks as you sit. You thank him as he sits across from you, the hostess handing out menus and reciting the specials. She leaves you to peruse as you hold your purse anxiously in your lap.
"Getting ready to go so soon?" Colin kids as he watches you wring the strap.
"N-no, no," you say, still uneasy.
You just want to give him his gift. It's what today's all been about yet that shadow follows you, the man from the jewelry shop calling out your extra rolls like you don't already know. At least your husband's kind enough to act like they don't exist.
"This place is nice," he says, "new job hasn't started yet."
"I know, it's my treat," you teeter on the edge of your seat "I've been saving and I just want you to know that I love you."
"Of course I know that–"
"No, no, I wanna show you and I wanna be better. I'm gonna be more active and keep up with things better," you chew your lip and unzip your purse, the fabric chafing your hips as you're reminded of the too small dress pinching your skin, "and I picked up some extra shifts."
You dig your hand in your bag and take out the wrapped box. The shiny green paper catching the chandelier above your table. You put it in front of him and sit back.
"I'm proud of you. Your new job, how you take care of me…"
"What…"
"Just open it," you insist, "please."
He chuckles and looks around, "I hope you didn't spend too much. It's been tight."
"It's not from our account, I've been saving, just don't worry about that."
"Alright, alright," he traces along a fold and jams his thumb underneath. He tears through and your anticipation has you vibrating.
As he pulls away the paper he turns the box over. He sees the jeweler's logo and gives pause, sending a look in your direction. His cheek twitches and he pops open the lid on its hinges.
"Gotta be spiffy for the new job," you say, "do you like it?"
He stares and for a moment, you're scared.
"I love it, but it must've been so expensive."
"No, no, I got a good deal and even added on the insurance so you can get it cleaned–"
"You need a new car and you're buying me a watch," he sighs.
"Colin, I–"
"I know, I know, it's amazing, babe, you're amazing but…" he looks up and his throat bobs, "what did I do to deserve you?"
"Me? What about you? You're–"
Your name interrupts your sentence. You freeze, the timbre throwing you off. You furrow your brow as Colin gives an equally confused look. You slowly look over as a man steps up beside you. It's that man. How does he know who you are?
"Hi, can I help you?" Colin interjects.
"Can I help you, bozo?" The stranger replies, "who the fuck are you?"
"I– I'm her husband, who the fuck are you?" Colin shifts in his seat.
"Husband? Baby, you didn't mention a husband. Oh, look at that, you put your ring back on," the man continues.
"What? No, huh?" You sputter, "would you just go–"
"Babe, who is this?" Colin asks.
"I don't know, he–"
"Don't worry about paying me back, baby, the old man looks like he needs something snappy," he winks at Colin, "jeez, wish you'd said something, I'd have been more subtle–"
"You fucking this dude?" Colin exclaims as he stands, "is that where you got the money?" He throws the watch down and injects himself between the table and the stranger, "you're fucking my goddamn wife?"
"Someone's gotta," the man taunts.
"No, no– I don't know him. He--" you grab Colin's arm and he rips away from you, "please, listen to me, he's just some jerk from the store–"
"And how does he know your name?"
"I don't know. I don't even know who he is, please. I–"
"She calls me daddy," the guy snickers and Colin turns to shove him, nearly sending him into the next table. Half the restaurant stares in your direction.
"Give him the fucking watch!" Colin growls at you, "fucking slut."
He grabs his jacket and storms out. You blink dumbly and turn to snatch your purse. The man moves into your path before you can follow your husband.
"Who are you? Why are you doing this?" You rasp.
"Like I said, you can call me daddy," he flicks your chin, "Lloyd works too."
You sneer and elbow past him, flinching as his hand bounces off your ass. You don't look back as you hurry away, desperate to catch up to Colin before he's gone. You don't understand what just happened.
#lloyd hansen x reader#lloyd hansen#dark lloyd hansen#dark!lloyd hansen#drabble#dark drabble#dark!drabble#drabble series#au#the grey man#the gray man
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