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elvisabutler · 10 months

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primal

fandom: elvis 2022 | elvis presley rating: m pairing: elvis presley ( big daddy flavor ) x female reader word count: 2650 warnings: p in v sex ( unprotected ). very brief implied breastfeeding kink. breeding kink. pregnancy kink. housewife kink-ish. masturbation ( male ). masturbating while someone is asleep while next to them. mention of ovulation? i am unsure if i have much more to warn for. author’s note: welcome to day 9 of ally’s wet hot smut summer, breeding kink with big daddy elvis presley x reader. this also has like a smattering of housewife kink but it's kind of blink and you miss it. but i had fun writing this and honestly it flowed out of me but we all know that's what happens with breeding kink fics. consider the timeframe like 76/77? and apologies that i'm behind on this smut summer. this summer's just been a hot mess.

It started out innocent enough, with you playing with one of the boy's kids. Elvis can't remember whose if he's being honest with himself but it was his first glimpse as you as a mother beyond the times had been with Lisa. There was something different about this time, maybe it's how young the yittle baby was or maybe it's how you cuddled them close or how when you gave them back to their mama that your hand grazed your stomach in the most subtle of ways. The two of you had offhandedly talked about having children but never anything concrete beyond whispers of how he wanted to give Lisa a sibling and how you wanted a baby to call your own.

That night as you lay sleeping next to him, worn out from the day he can't help the way his mind wanders and thinks about the possibility of you pregnant with his child. Your hips were just the right size to hold a baby even as they'd expand outward just that little bit. His vision has you swollen with twins, he thinks, your belly swollen under a dress that stretches against your skin. There'd be no doubt who you belonged to and who put those big strong children inside of you. He can feel his cock starting to rise to the occasion, feel his foreskin retracting just that little bit as his cock swells. You'd be a good mother, taking care of the yittle ones and traveling with him with them. Your breasts would fill with milk he could suckle from before they were born and even after when they'd have their fill. He can't help the way his mind wanders and paints that picture of you pregnant that has his cock pressing against the underside of his stomach. His precum's already leaking damn near like a faucet and he needs relief in the form of his hand at the very least. With a hiss he pulls back his foreskin and takes himself in hand. The vision his mind gives him is one he thinks he might want to make a reality. You deserve to be a mother, deserve to be the mother of his little ones.

It doesn't take him long, stroking his cock and playing with the tip of it for him to start breathing heavy. He knows he needs to be quiet, knows you're a lighter sleeper than he ever has been but he can't help it. He can't help how much this is effecting him. This sort of desire has never been inside him, he's never craved having someone pregnant with his child and yet here he was with his cock in hand at the mere idea of you swollen with them. You're already a good enough housewife— not that he ever forced you to do it— but if you were pregnant you'd be the quintessential barefoot and pregnant wife. You'd be at home here in Graceland, belly rounded out helping Mary cook dinner. Or maybe you'd be at the International or on tour with him, craving him as much as he'd crave you like this, bouncing on his cock as best you could. A groan leaves his mouth unbidden and he moves the hand not on his cock to his mouth to stifle the noises he can't hold back and allows his mind to go through the possibilities. If he looks at your stomach right now hard enough he swears he can see the swell and without even trying to stop himself the hand that he had been biting down on goes to your stomach and rubs against it, picturing a time next year where his child would kick at his hand and you'd glare at him for waking them up only to tell him to rub your aching feet.

You shift in your sleep and Elvis takes his hand away like he's been burned even as he feels his orgasm hit him not unlike a freight train, forcing him to bite his lip as his release covers his hand and his legs. His post orgasm exhaustion starts to pull him into the warm embrace of sleep but he fights it just long enough to heave himself out of bed and to clean himself up. He wasted the come tonight but perhaps tomorrow night he can tell you what he wants. Yeah, he'll tell you what he wants then.

Life is busy when you're Elvis Presley though and he has to push the idea of telling you back another week before he even gets a spare moment with you awake with him to be able to even touch you. He's not much for planning, but he thought bringing this up to you would go better if he did plan for it. If he took you out to dinner and wined and dined you like you weren't together already then telling you how he wanted to stuff that yittle cunt of yours so full of his cum that there was no way you wouldn't be pregnant would bring you as much pleasure as it does him. That was the plan- that dinner and a night to remember was the plan but that plan was squashed by the Colonel and some last minute meeting that had you waiting for Elvis for hours until he finally came upstairs long after your dress and heels were abandoned for your far more comfortable robe.

If you're being honest, you're pouting a bit with your face in a book with the lamp on your nightstand on. Elvis takes one look at you and knows very well he's cocked this all up. Had every intention of making you happy with him and making you see the vision he had for making you a mama and now he's wondering if he's even gonna get to touch you tonight. Any other night and he might poke the bear, might needle you just a little to get you to eventually smile but not tonight, not with how angry you look with your straight shoulders and pursed lips. Tonight calls for him being quiet and biting his tongue as he strips himself down to nothing except his own robe and climbs into bed next to you. It's almost without thinking that you hand him a pair of reading glasses, assuming that with the presence of the robe and the lack of talking that he's going to just sit next to you and read passages from whichever text he's decided to be engrossed in for the past two days. He takes them from you but doesn't bother to pick up his book. Instead he places the glasses on his own nightstand and moves to stroke your arm, his calloused fingers brushing practically feather light against your arm. A shiver passes through your body and you can almost feel him smirking.

"What are you doing?" You ask with a heavy sigh as you turn to look at him, your frustration lessening the more he touches your arm, the heat of him passing through the fabric easily setting your body ablaze.

"Touchin' my wife," Elvis answers as his hand moves off your arm and to your chest, taking special care to enjoy the soft skin your breasts before cupping them. A gasp leaves your lips. "Tender?"

His mind flashes to a vision of your breasts larger in his hand and tender for another reason even as you answer. "You know they're tender around this time."

This time of the month, not your period, no, he'd remember that, you never wear this robe during that time. No, this time of the month is when you're ovulating, when you can get pregnant the easiest. The time of the month where he could breed you and it could actually take. His breaths quicken and deepen all at once as he accidentally squeezes your breast earning a hiss from you.

"Sorry darlin'. Bit— forgot it was that time. Didn't realize it was. Felt like it snuck up on us, didn't it?"

You narrow your eyes for a moment in confusion before you shrug, licking your lips. "It did. Kind of like that meeting did, hm?"

Elvis rubs at his mouth, squeezing his double chin just a hair before he nods. "Trust me, didn't want that meetin' any more than you did. Had plans for us tonight. Nice dinner, nicer dessert, maybe a perfect midnight snack."

The only answer you manage is a hum before you frown. "Well, we didn't get any of that, did we?"

Elvis's hands move to make it so you turn fully to him as he shifts in the bed to fully turn to you. "Aw hell, don't be like that. I'm sorry. I mean it. I wanted to take my wife out to dinner, tell her how good of a wife she is to me. How she keeps this house and any house we're at in order and how I couldn't ask for a better housewife." He pauses and watches as you look like you're tearing up before cupping your cheek. "And I wanted to ask if ya— if ya thought 'bout havin' a baby."

His cock and his leg twitches at the idea as he says it and he knows from how your gaze moves downward that you've noticed at least the leg twitch. Your gaze slowly moves back up to his face, taking in the rise and fall of his hairy chest, the rise and fall of his stomach and you swallow. "Right now?"

Because asking if he's asking if you're willing to get pregnant right now feels as if you might be overstepping. You can't help the way the idea has you clenching your thighs and has your arousal slowly starting to work its way through you.

A pleased sort of growl rumbles through Elvis's chest as he takes in your clenched thighs. "Right now. Or nine months from now. Been thinkin' 'bout how pretty you'd look pregnant. Wanna see how—"

"You already tell me I'm pretty every day. You already think about how pretty I am." You murmur a little shakily as Elvis starts to move closer to you, his hand moving down your torso to between your legs.

"I do. But you're gonna look even better all swollen wit' our baby inside of ya," he whispers, his fingers slipping in between your folds and groaning as he feels how wet you are. "Ya like that? Like thinkin' 'bout how full you'd be? How your breasts would get heavy wit' milk for our yittle one? Or yittle ones? How everyone'd see what I did to ya? How I love ya 'nough to give ya my baby?"

The noise that leaves you isn't necessarily one you're proud of nor is the way your hands move to cling to his upper arms. You feel his thumb press against your clit and you keen. You've never thought about this in depth but the image he's painting has you practically panting. Your hands scramble to pull him closer and to lift up his stomach just a little bit to reveal his cock already standing at full attention. His precum makes it easier to pull back his foreskin without causing him pain and yet he can't help the way he hisses at the feel of your hand against his cock. He lets himself be guided to where he's on top of you, his full weight pressed up against you as he slides his cock between your folds.

It's hard to say which one of you groans louder at the feeling of his cock inside you but you both don't move for a moment, even as he feels himself twitching inside of you, almost as if his cock is begging him to move. This was it, this was when he was going to make his dream a reality, he could feel it. Everything about tonight might have gone wrong but this wouldn't. You wouldn't leave this bed without his baby growing inside of you. You wouldn't leave this bed without his cum taking root inside you and swelling out your midsection. You wouldn't leave this bed without a baby in you that would cause your body to grow and change and would leave both of you insatiable for each other.

"Move, Elvis. Please," you start to beg before your nails dig into his back and your legs try and wrap around his hips. "Give me what you want to give me."

Make me a mama.

The words stir something inside of him that makes him feel a decade and a head injury younger. You want him to give you a baby, you want him to breed you. He pulls you in for a kiss, rough and almost violent as if he wants to devour you for asking for it. Your tongue meets his in a fight for some control even as he moves to suck on it, only letting go when he pulls away to kiss and nip at your neck, marking it in the only way he can until you've got proof of who you belong to growing inside of you.

His words are slurred when he growls them out, punctuating most of them with a thrust. "Gonna make you a mama. Gonna give you a baby. Gonna watch your tits swell up with milk for our baby. Gonna— goddammit, quit clenchin' baby, gonna have me burstin' 'fore I make ya happy."

What he doesn’t know, or what’s lost in the obscene haze, is that the desperate clenching of your cunt is because you want him to. You want to feel his release inside you before you topple over the precipice of your orgasm. "No. Wanna— Need to feel it first. Give me our baby."

You've never been one to be very demanding or too dominant in the bedroom and Elvis has never responded to it from you but tonight it does something to him. His balls tighten and his arms pull you closer as he feels himself cumming inside of you, his cum filling you to try and do what you commanded of him. A shake runs through him when you kiss him, harsh at first but settling into something softer as he tries to steady himself on top of you. You're so engrossed in watchin him that you end up missing how one of his hands move down to your swollen clit until you feel the brush of his fingers rubbing against it. It's then that your own release hits you in soft waves that he coaxes you through, shushing you quietly as you start to whimper.

"That's it, darlin'. I gotcha." He coos in your ear even as his hand starts to pull away. He doesn't move beyond that, instead choosing to look at you underneath him, chest heaving as you catch your own breath. His hand wanders around your body, watching the goosebumps form on your skin. "Think ya got 'nother round in ya?"

If he's asking himself that more than you, he doesn't let on and you don't bother to point it out. Instead you push against his chest and nod. "I do, but I think I want to be on top of you. Let you play with my boobs. Feel how they are in your hands before you make them swell up."

Elvis doesn't need to be told twice and lays down before pulling you to be on top of him, hissing as you sink onto his cock. "Gonna watch 'em bounce first." His eyes dart to between your legs where he sees a bit of cum leaking out. "After this ya gonna lay back down. Can't be wastin' my cum, darlin'. Not if ya want our baby."

A smirk crosses your lips as you lean to whisper in his ear. "Elvis, daddy, I'm going to be leaking it when we're done."

taglist: @ab4eva , @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @missmaywemeetagain, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7 @chasingwildflowers, @notstefaniepresley, @wanderingelvis, @kxnnxy, @powerofelvis, @stylespresleyhearted, @be-my-ally, @mooodyblue, @pixiedustcosmos, @jessicarcates, @amydarcimarie, @flwrs4aust @myradiaz, @adaydreamaway08, @elirobin, @goldieharry. @arabellalightning505 guarantee i'm missing someone. i tried the end.

#elvis presley #elvis presley x reader #big daddy elvis #big daddy elvis fanfiction #elvis presley smut #elvis presley x y/n #elvis presley x you #ally's wet hot smut summer #elvis presley fanfic #elvis presely smut #elvis presley fanfiction #ally writes

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raewritesfiction · 2 years

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Personal Assistant [Alexander Skarsgård]

A/N: took me a while to get around to this ask but I got there eventually!

Plot: Reader is Alexander Skarsgård’s personal assistant. On a night out you let slip a comment which leads to some much wanted fun.

Pairing: Female!Reader X Alexander Skarsgård

Warnings: oral (female receiving), P in V, unprotected sex, general smut.

[[ Lemme know if you wanna be added or removed from tags; no questions asked ♥️ likes are amazing however I really appreciate Reblogs to help spread my writing further! Thank you 🌈😘]]

Tag List: @jaseminedenise @nikkitasevoli @iraniq @snewsome756 @vikki-rogue @amelia-in-w0nderland @pandaliciouz @crispyimagines17 @marie-is-blogging @bonniebird @nutinanutshell @louise-buchan @differentcatcat @ravenmoore14 @heywhatssgood @purplerain85 @askarslibrary

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The hotel bar where you were sitting, patiently waiting for your employer while he finished a phone interview, was quiet and relaxed. You were already on your third drink - all doubles - when he sauntered around the corner with his hands in his pants pockets. Alex was dressed in casual dress pants and a lightweight knitted sweater; it was effortless and yet he still looked like he could be on a catwalk in it.

“You okay?” His words break you out of thought and you realise you were staring.

“Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. I’m good. How was the interview…?” The next hour is spent drinking and talking about work; your large diary in front of you as you go through the next few days. While Alex nursed his one drink by the time your impromptu meeting was done you had sunk another three doubles. Deep down you were trying to work yourself up to telling him your feelings but no matter how you tried, the conversation never opened up in the right direction for you to be able to drop it in. Now you were just getting drunk.

Closing up the diary and sitting back in your chair you clock Alex watching you, just watching. There was a slight smirk on his face as he finished his single drink and sat back.

“You look very good this evening… I’m liking the dress on you.” He smiles and watches your hand play with the pen sitting on your diary.

Taking a breath you nod “I taste good too. And my dress would look better on your floor.” You look up and force yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes going wide as the reality of what you had said set in “I.. . Shouldn’t have said that! Oh god. I meant to say …”

“You meant to say exactly what you said.” Alex smirks again “and I’m glad you did.” He stands and offers you his hand. “Come with me.”

You’re on autopilot as you stand and take Alex’s offered hand, picking up your small pile of folders, notebook and diary as you do so and following him to the elevator. You were in rooms on separate floors so you were a little surprised when Alex tapped his room card and pressed the button for his floor.

The elevator seems to be painfully slow but it passes horribly quick as Alex pulls you against his side and wraps his arm around your waist; his large hand splaying to encompass almost your entire ribs.

Quietly, Alex leads you to his room and offers you inside as he hangs a do not disturb sign on the outside of the door and locks it once shut. You place your small work pile on the table in the room and look around at the spacious room with a large en suite; the open door shows a shower big enough for two.

Alex steps over towards you, his hands once more in his pockets and pulling his dress pants tight across his crotch. You fail at keeping your eyes on his and lick your lips as he walks towards you. “So that dress... wanna find out if it does look better on my floor..? Or are you just gonna wonder what my dick looks like?”

You gasp and somewhat resemble a goldfish as you try to figure out what to say to his words. Instead of letting you suffer Alex leans down and kisses you, his hands moving to your hips and gripping you against him as his fingers pull up your dress to your waist. “Lift your arms…” You do as you’re told and Alex lifts off your dress before dropping it to the floor. His eyes immediately look back to you and take in your matching lace underwear and fishnet stockings with knee high socks. He’d always loved your alternative style choices and found it refreshing you didn’t like ‘professional’ styles of clothing.

Alex traces two fingers down your bra straps over small flowers with beads at their centres, following the curve of your breasts and along the wires until they meet in the middle where the clasp sits to undo the thin material. You lick your lips and watch his face, swallowing thickly when his fingers twist the clip and free you from its confines.

“So you do have piercings… when I saw you in your bikini I was trying to work it out.”

You let out a shaky chuckle and nod “they’re not my only hidden piercings.”

“Well I’ll get to see those soon enough.” He smiles and pushes the bra down your arms which you let fall to the desk behind you.

“Oh will you?” You smile and playfully bite your lip when his eyes are back on your face.

He plants his hands either side of you on the desk and runs his nose up your neck and around your jaw then back down the other side. You let out a small whimper when his lips make contact with your neck and then follow the same path as before.

Alex pulls your panties down your legs slowly and then lifts you onto the desk “lean back…” whispering quietly but firmly in your ear. You close your eyes and lean back against the wall, shivering as your hot skin is instantly cooled. Alex lowers down to his knees and finishes removing your panties, his hands spreading your legs so he could reach where he wanted.

“Very nice.. do they change how anything feels?” Alex leans in and kisses over you softly making you whimper.

“S-sometimes…” you admit and run a hand down to thread into his hair.

Humming against you Alex takes the ring in his teeth and tugs lightly to see what would happen, when he sees you break out in goosebumps he chuckles and buries his face against you; licking and sucking over every fold and making sure nothing got missed, when you were panting heavily and tugging his hair Alex pushes two fingers into you and curls them against the squishy area on your front wall making your hips jump “good girl…”

You rock your hips to his moving fingers and pant his name, one of his hands travelling up your torso to your boobs and massaging over you; drawing out your pleasure until your breathing hitches and slowly withdraws his touch from you and stands leaving you whining on the desk. “Noo… no no! That’s unfair!”

Alex smirks and strips off his knitted sweater to reveal no T-shirt underneath and watches you intently as he undoes his pants to let them fall to the floor.

Your eyes widen at the sight of the man before you and you lick your lips, watching his semi-hard cock. “You gonna come join me…?” Alex raises an eyebrow and steps towards you “or do you need carrying?” Closing the gap between you and wrapping his arms around your waist to lift you from the desk. You wrap your legs around his hips, feeling his cock against you while he carries you to the bed, his lips pressing light kisses to your skin which turn into nips and bites; his teeth grazing across you with enough force to leave marks by the time he lowers you down on the bed.

“You gonna finish what you started?” Finding confidence from the alcohol still running through your blood.

“Oh yes…” he nods and crawls up between your legs, hands gliding over your fishnets.

“Want my heels off?” You look down at your feet.

“Never..!” He leans down and bites over your ribs, soothing the marks with open kisses while his hands move to your tits; fingers playing with your nipples and the jewellery that adorned them, humming as they hardened under his touch.

You arch to his fingers and mouth “Alex…please.” Your voice is barely above a whisper as you all but beg him. “I really need you inside me..”

“Oh you need me? And how long have you been needing me inside you?”

“So fucking long…” you rub your face.

“Use your words and that Dutch courage to tell me baby girl. How long?”

“M-months!” You stutter and bite your lip “since we got really drunk and you fell asleep on me in nothing but a towel I knew I needed to feel you against me and in me.”

Alex grins “there’s a very good girl.” He kisses and nips his way between your tits and scrapes his teeth across your collarbone, his hand reaching down to tease your pussy with the head of his cock.

“Alex, please don’t tease me.” You thread your fingers into his hair.

He chuckles and pushes his length into you slowly, barely filling you before pulling out again with a moan “oh fuck baby…”

“Alex.. Alexander..” you tug his hair and rock your hips “please!” You resorted to begging, the feel of his cock inside you for those moments was bliss and you wanted more.

The tall Swede growls low against your neck at the sound of his full name, a guttural and animalistic noise from deep in his chest emanating against your skin. He seemingly thinks over his actions and decides on pushing into you slowly until he bottoms out with the head of his cock resting against your cervix.

You both moan aloud into the dark room and Alex shifts his arms to sit under your shoulders, holding you to him as he begins to move inside you. Alex rolls his hips and moves his legs to widen yours further, wanting to be deep on every thrust of his hips. He groans against your lips and presses light kisses to you.

“You do taste good baby… so fucking good.. your pussy takes me so well..” he pants and moves a hand to grip your thigh as he speeds up his rhythm, rocking his hips on each thrust to get every part of you.

“You’re… so big!” You drop your head back and groan louder, feeling the head of his cock hitting against your cervix in painful pleasure, the rough nest of hair which sat above catching your clit on every movement.

“You like feeling stretched out?” His body leans over yours as he moves.

“Fuck yes!” You call out and lift your hips to his movements “oh fuck I’m close!” You wrap your arms around Alex’s shoulders and kiss him passionately.

Alex groans into your mouth and grips your ass, pulling you onto his thrusts and guiding you with his faster movements “you gonna cum for me?”

You nod and hum against his lips “yes…god yes. Like that!”

He keeps the deep pace with fast rhythm, moaning roughly against you “that’s it, cum for me..” his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your ass while Alex pounds into you hard and fast.

You gasp and throw your head back with your eyes screwed shut tightly “ffffuck!!” Calling out loudly as you tighten around his cock. Alex grips you close to him and grinds his hips deep into you, dropping his head down to yours as he empties his seed into you with a loud groan. He stills his hips and settles inside you as you both relax and come down from your climax then rolls you both to your sides.

You lean your head against Alex’s chest and kiss over the skin you could reach from your position “holy hell…”

He smiles and holds you close, your leg over his hip “want some help removing the shoes?” Kissing your forehead.

“Yes please..” you smile a little and look up from his chest.

Alex reaches down and easily undoes your shoes and drops them to the floor, rubbing your ankles before removing your socks and stockings for further comfort. “You’re fucking amazing.” He kisses you softly and strokes your hair back. “Your makeup held up well.. I’m impressed.”

You blush and smile “the price I pay for it, it had better.. and you’re amazing too.” Stroking your hand over his upper arm “tell me this isn’t a one night thing?”

“Hell no… got lots of fun positions to try. And how much more of a personal assistant can you be?”

—fin—

#alexander skarsgard #Alexander skarsgård #reader x Alexander Skarsgard #imagine #Alexander skarsgard imagine

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amplifyme · 9 months

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@randomfoggytiger

Let's dive into The Rest Is Silence.

Vincent losing command over himself and running his body to the limit and sweating and tearing himself apart trying to contain the Other was fantastic to watch.

I know I keep repeating myself, but Perlman was so good in these eps and the ones that follow. He really hit his stride. And not just him, the whole cast nailed it in S3.

Waking in the park, getting around Mary (who cannot read subtext for the life of her) to get to Father and his comfort and guidance, and pouring at his desperation and fear was an excellent way to start.

In defense of Mary, she assumed she was talking to the Vincent she'd always known. I think the assumption most of those Below had was that the danger Paracelsus posed was gone and now things would go back to normal. Vincent would go back to being the Vincent they knew. I think Father was the only one with a clue that all was not well. Especially when V told him he'd woken up in the park and had no idea how he'd gotten there. The symptoms V was experiencing echoed those of the illness he'd suffered before.

As an aside, the expression on V's face when F asserts that there's nothing terrible in him kills me! That's a "WTF are you taking about??" face. It was a rather odd thing for F to say, though I chalk it up to more of avoiding the uncomfortable realities, as was the norm for them.

Seeing the world through Vincent's eyes as he worsens was also fantastic;

And just the way he looked! He was barely holding himself together. When he goes to join C for the concert he's visibly disheveled, which is so not normal for him. And that howl that escapes him and how freaked out he is that C saw him that way and was frightened.

I love how he progressively loses himself more and more as the ep goes on. His appearance changes, his speech patterns change - he struggles to speak at all - he has this constant crazed/dazed look in his eyes. He's trying so hard to be what C and his family have come to expect from him and he just can't do it anymore. I've always found it interesting that after he's found the book with the lines he was looking for, he immediately heads for C's, not having a clue that she's still Below and in F's study. Which is something he should know, what with the bond. He always knows exactly where she is. Not anymore.

Cathy did excellently herself this episode, asking him what she can do rather than pressing for impossible details, demanding more thorough answers from Father the right way, and keeping by Vincent's side when he broke into her apartment

She really stepped up this time and I love her for it. ❤️

but it kept getting better and better during his fever and "hallucinations" and the Other's hovering (now I know visually what Nan meant when she captured Buster's hovering and insistence) and Cathy's help and his progression to the bed and his waking better to watch the sun go down.

Just small things, but the way his upper lip curls into a snarl when he spots Buster; the way he struggles to stay conscious just long enough to say to C "You knew those lines."; the way the final scene in her apartment was lit and how small and beaten down he appears staring out at the sunset; his heartbreaking "I'm sorry."

Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye. 🥹

I almost didn't notice how important Vincent's "love" was until BWBS (so thank you, Nan, for bringing that more thoroughly to my attention); but I did notice how he didn't directly agree to Cathy's request.

Yeah, that's the first time he tells her he loves her, even though she's said it to him many times. He's convinced he's going to lose this battle and wants her to know with certainty that he does love her. And, yes, he expertly sidesteps directly agreeing with Cathy's ask.

Samantha and her book

Again with the tears. Vincent loves all the children so much.

collapsing into Father's arms and sending him off, saying goodbye to everyone and leaving before he and Cathy return (what a moving scene-- they all love him in their own ways), and fleeing below the catacombs to potentially die in the attempt to master or free himself (a literal descent into darkness) was the cherry on top. Mouse following Vincent anyway made me want to cheer; and Pascal keeping up with him on the pipes made me want to cheer even more.

Yes to all of this!

Father staying back while Cathy insists on descending, too, sets up that puzzling little dichotomy: I believe Father loves Vincent more "completely" as he acknowledges all aspects of his son; but I believe Cathy loves Vincent more deeply?

Hmm, I've never thought of it that way. I'll have to chew on this for awhile. I think you might be onto something.

Beauty's love killing and then rescuing the Beast make a full circle here

Exactly!

On a separate note: I'm not in the habit of making everything about The X-Files, but I can see why a fan fresh off BATB would be drawn to this other show. Mulder and Scully had that near-instant connection between them that transcended words, social norms and expectations, and both of their fixed perspectives or parameters.

Oh, I don't think you're wrong. That's one of the reasons I loved TXF and M & S right off the bat. It did a really nice job of filling some of the void from the loss of BATB. At least it did for me.

But I think Mulder and Scully succeeded where Vincent and Cathy failed because they disproved, together, Father's assessment which Peter quoted to Cathy: "Maybe Jacob was right: when you go beyond definitions, scientific knowledge can only break down." The breakdown, or the hitch, was in the lack of complete acceptance.

Nicely put!

Next up: Beyond Words, Beyond Silence and a few random thoughts.

#beauty and the beast 1987 #season 2 #the rest is silence #the trilogy #discussion

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cloudy-rainn · 2 years

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heya! I'm mari hope I could request a matchup for Tokyo Revengers!

my personality is pretty much a mess. I am usually a ambivert and v socially awkward. around the homies or family I am very Talkative,loud,extra, you know just extroverted in general,around new people or randoms I am shy- or just act antisocial. I'd say I can be pretty lazy and get cranky when asked to do something but I'll pull through and do it anyway. I love seeing others smile and when it comes to people's emotions I try to consider how they feel when it comes to comfort. I'm also a pushover,I have such a weakness for when people cry,I go all soft,even if they did me wrong,then I can't help but feel guilty and try to fix it. I sometimes have a negative mind set/thoughts and other times positive,depends,I'm also not too vocal on my feelings and angry at random times (pent up anger from bullying.) Which results in me punching a wall,posting up with the pillow or just giving an attitude. my mbti is esfp and my zodiac is aquarius. I would save my love language is quality time,,just being with the person is enough.

my appearance I have jet black hair (it is dyed lol) that reaches slightly past my shoulders and is very curly but poofy when dry so I usually keep it in a high bun or straighten it. I have dark brown eyes and longish lashes. I Have chubby cheeks nnn and Everytime I eat my folks say I look like a chipmunk- I stuff my mouth. I'm about 5'2-5'3 and my body is curvyish but I'm a little insecure about my chubby stomach :/. I usually wear like hoodies n sweats or skinny jeans , baggy jeans , or sweats. And Shorts around the house since I feel more comfortable doing that and a oversized shirt.

I enjoy learning to play the piano (I can only play like 2 songs.),, Watching anime, documentaries about murders or serial killers, reality tv , killing eve n maybe some cartoonies when I feel like it (I straight up watched author till 4am in the morning.), YouTube etc. I also like to read manga and chill w/ the friends.

btw some of my favorite places are hot topic, McDonald's, chipotle, forever 21 and ofc the love of my life,my room.

I look for someone who is chill and can match my vibe. They trust me and I trust them,type thing. I don't really want someone who is overly clingy, I'd be fine with it,but after a while I'll get sort of annoyed. Also someone who is humorus and can take a joke! Like I could pull a prank or tell them a joke and they wouldn't turn it into something serious. Someone who can appreciate and not be judgmental and someone who can talk to me. Mainly we get along.

hope all this is good!!

ahh thank you, hope you like it <3

i match you with MITSUYA TAKASHI!

•ngl, lowkey jealous of you rn, he’s the epitome of perfect boyfriend.

•definitely childhood friends to lovers.

•because of taking care of his two sisters, he is definitely able to cook up a pretty delicious meal, and he always lets you taste first for approval.

•he can't help but smile when he sees you stuffing your cheeks with food.

•your personal therapist, he is immediately able to tell when you're feeling upset. he will do everything in his power to make you happy.

•expect a lot of homemade gifts, it is his way of showing you love.

•he will protect you at all costs!

•he makes you clothes!! and don’t worry about him judging your body, he loves you from your head to your toes <3

•will stay up late watching reality tv with you. he finds it interesting lmao.

•you’re his princess, which is why he loves kissing the back of your hand, and occasionally your forehead.

•hakkai is lowkey jealous but he supports you two nonetheless.

•in conclusion, you are one very lucky person and you are dearly loved.

#tokyo revengers #anime matchups #tokyo revengers matchup #mitsuya headcanons #mitsuya tr

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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v e l o c i t y - chapter viii

The one where John’s your true mate, but he doesn’t want you to be his.

In a universe where fate grants you a new mate whenever you lose yours, John has lived quite comfortably for many years with the knowledge that he was alone after Mary. That all comes crumbling down the second that he meets you. How could the universe choose someone so young to be his omega?

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

A/N: I think there’ll be just one more chapter to this story, but I don’t know if it’s coming next week!

John’s P.O.V.

“Omega.” The sound of her title made her stop in her tracks, but she still didn’t turn around to face me. It’d been like this for the last month or so. A game of hide and seek I had never agreed to play.

Although I was pretty sure if I asked her about it, she’d say I was the one who made up the rules in the first place.

“What do you want, John?” Hearing her address me directly after so many days of tense silence was inebriating, but her tone wasn’t what I wanted. I knew I deserved it though, and that is why I was subjecting myself to this.

“I want to talk.”

“That’s precious coming from you. Take such pride in being the silent, angry type. Or should I say the asshole type?” I scoffed, even though I deserved that. I deserved it all, I knew it.

But what I’d come to realize in these last few weeks that I had to endure practically without her was that I was nothing but a selfish bastard when it came to the woman before me.

“Would you just hear me out?” I asked, pulling the basket of dirty laundry she was holding and letting it fall on the floor before forcing her to turn around and look me in the eyes. She immediately crossed her arms in front of her, showing in every way she could that she was not in the mood to have any sort of conversation with me.

“Why should I? We’re not friends, you’re not my mate, as you’ve made abundantly clear by the way you’ve been treating me ever since we met. I don’t owe you anything, John Winchester. Much less time or even more of my energy.” Her words were like a slap to my face, and in my surprise, I let her pick up the basket and continue her walk towards the laundry room once more.

But not before I heard her last words. “Believe me, if I had anywhere else to go, I would have left a long time ago,” she mumbled almost to herself. “You must think I have no self-esteem whatsoever.”

That one hurt. It hurt because it was clear by the pain in her own voice that it was the truth. She would have left the bunker, she would have left this life behind without ever looking back because of the way I’d been treating her.

I couldn’t deal with that. So instead of accepting that reality, irritation coursed through my veins at the thought of her ever leaving.

“What about James?” I inquired, following her down the hall and finding her loading her clothes in the machine. She only turned around to face me after she was done with the task, crossing her arms once more as she leaned against the metal.

“What about James?” Y/N questioned, raising an eyebrow at me. “You’re not seriously suggesting you’d like me to join a gang, are you?” I didn’t have anything to say. I didn’t. I didn’t want her going anywhere, much less with him.

Suddenly, I was all too tired. I think it was visible because I deflated. My shoulders slumped, I looked down at my own feet as I rested my hands on my hips. “No, I’m not.” A short silence followed, and when I looked up at her again, it was to find her mouth-slacked, staring back at me.

“What?” At my question, she immediately shut her mouth before reopening again and then frowning. It was like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to say something or not. Finally - unfortunately - the latter option seemed to be the one she chose.

“Nevermind.” She turned around to fiddle with the buttons of the machine, like it wasn’t already on, and I knew what this was. This was a way out, an invitation for me to leave and let this conversation die like it had never even existed in the first place.

But I was tired.

“It’s hard to relax around you.” That was how my admission started, and even though it wasn’t planned, I didn’t hate it. I didn’t immediately feel like retreating, retracing all of my steps until suddenly I was out of the room and away from my own feelings.

No, I couldn’t run from them anymore. Not if I had any chance of making her want to stay.

“Why?” The question wasn’t unexpected, but it still made me sigh. I really hated making myself vulnerable, and any instance of sharing my thoughts and feelings felt like it for me.

“Well, first because every single part of my being is asking me to bend you over whatever’s nearest and just take you.” Our eyes met for the first time since I started really talking, and the meeting of our gazes was heavy, but not unwelcome. I’d take any sort of connection with her, any show of her willingness to forgive me. “Shit, you just have no idea how attractive you are.”

The corner of her lips turned up at my words, betraying just how much she liked to know about her effect on me, and I couldn’t help but mirror it as I kept going.

“And it’s not just because you’re my mate either,” I confessed, watching the surprise shine through her features. “It really is… you. And it’s so hard to control my reactions to you. I always get carried away, because I crave… I crave to be with you on a cellular level.”

I took a deep breath before finishing what I needed to say, the hardest of my admissions. “You’re the only one I want now, I know that. But I can’t accept that yet.”

“Why?” So maybe I was wrong. This was the hardest thing to confess, the hardest truth I’d have to face. This is what I’d been trying to run from, ever since that morning when she told me off.

Because I couldn’t forgive myself for it. And I feared the moment that she knew, she’d hate me forever. But it was time to say it.

“Because I know you, Y/N. I met you when you were still a kid, I played with you, I put you on my lap and made you giggle. You used to play with my beard and tell me I looked like a werewolf. I can’t just let that go.”

I braced myself for her reaction, anticipating the very worst. But she only looked at me with an amused smile, her arms crossed in front of her and her head tilted. “You feel bad about wanting me because you knew me as a kid.” Well.. yes. Was she really expecting a confirmation?

The chuckle she let out from under her breath warned me that she didn’t. Still, I couldn’t help but tightly hold onto my fears as I watched her slowly approach me, arms falling to the sides until she was within reach of mine.

“I think it’s clear I’m not a little girl anymore, John.” Well, she wasn’t wrong, and the effect she elicited on me just by holding our hands together showed just as much. “And the man I met, the man that held me on his lap when I was a kid, is not the same that’s staring at me right now. You are my mate. The same can’t be said for the man from back then.”

My entire body buzzed with electricity from the connection of our hands, and the realization that she didn’t hate me. Through her eyes, I could see there was a way for us to get through this, a way for me to somehow move past my own past.

I noticed the familiar twinkle of mischief in her eyes before she even opened her mouth to break the moment. “I think you should just admit that you want to kiss me.”

Chuckling, my hands instinctively let go of hers to find a hold on her waist, pulling her closer to me. “What good will that bring me?” But the little rascal just shrugged.

“I dunno. I might do it.” No other words were necessary. My body acted of its own accord, and I cradled her face with my palms before bending down to meet her lips, chuckling to myself once we parted and I realized she had to stand on her tip-toes to reach me.

“Well, that was a sweet first kiss,” I commented, rubbing my nose on hers and appreciating her little giggle. “The kind of sweet I’d hoped the first time I got to touch you would be. But you just wouldn’t let me have that, now would you?”

Silence took over my teasing, and I watched as she took a deep breath before saying what was on her mind. “You know… I wouldn’t mind being your secret if that’s the only way I could have you.”

I knew it wasn’t her intention, but it felt like a punch to my stomach. Had I really been this mean? That she’d think my worst problem with our situation was that I didn’t want to be associated with her?

“I don’t want to keep you a secret,” I made sure she knew. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” Our lives were entwined now, I knew that. I needed her here. And I’d do whatever I needed to make her stay.

“Guess I’ll just have to keep teasing you until you break, huh?” I chuckled, squeezing her hips a bit before finally letting her go. It was relieving to see that she understood I needed time.

My chest filled with hope as I watched her leave the room, but not before throwing me a wink over her shoulder. God, she was making me soft. It wouldn’t take much for her to get me to break.

#my series #john winchester reader #john winchester x reader #john winchester reader insert #john winchester reader inserts #john winchester fanfiction #john winchester fanfic #john winchester fan fic #john winchester imagine

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amethystpath-writes · 3 years

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Hellooooo!!

Favorite TV shows? Movies? Books?

I need more content lol

Oh honey. You've just doomed yourself and everyone who follows me. Anything in colour is the main focus. I put descriptions with everything in white :)

Television shows (honestly don't watch very many but here we go)-

Vampire Diaries (I started watching as a joke but it's actually very good.)

V-Wars [Netflix]

The 100 (I personally wasn't very into this show but my ex best friend loooved it.

Um, I haven't watched any other shows to be honest.

Great British Baking Show?

Movies (get ready for an onslaught)-

Hellboy II (don't bother watching the first one) [paranormal creatures, very cool]

Underworld franchise (for mature audiences because there are some unnecessary scenes. also very gorey) [vampires and lycans/werewolves]

Queen of the Damned (this one might be R rated, too, but I'm not sure) [vampires]

Narnia [based off a book series by an idol. fantasy creatures- centaurs, minotaurs, witches, talking lions, talking beavers, yada yada yada.]

Pirates of the Caribbean [pirates, ye know? Also skeletons and fish people]

Harry Potter [witches/wizards, merpeople, good v evil, cool stuff, fantastic beasts 😉]

I probably don't need to tell you what half of these are, but just in case, I do :)

Alita the Battle Angel (or something similar) [robot lady with big eyes. Kicks butt.]

Ready Player One [based off a book. Most of these probably are tbh. Futuristic. Virtual reality- go- real reality I believe. Produced/directed by Steven Spielburg so you know it's good.]

Transformers franchise [epic vehicular alien robots that kick butt as well. Highly recommend these. Please watch. Also Spielburg or however you spell his name.]

Spiderwick [based off a Holly Black children series I read when I was a little tot. Awesome movie, I loved it and still do. Many fantasy creatures- griffin, goblins, trolls, a little house elf thing, hobgoblins because those are a thing (voiced by Seth Rogen btw) Also the twins are one actor and it's the guy that plays as The Good Doctor on a television series.]

Hobbit and LOTR [based off the books my absolute idol wrote years and years before I was even born. Hobbits- aka mini humans- dwarves, wizards, elves, orcs, goblins, a shapeshifter, a dragon. Also a little demon looking thing that's obsessed with this supposedly special ring- played by Andy Serkis. Lots of kinship and teamwork. Character development, woot woot!]

The Greatest Showman [best musical movie ever. Even if you hate musicals, you'd love this movie. I say that as someone who dislikes musicals. Hugh Jackman, Zac Effron, Zendaya, Rebecca Ferguson, alllll of the actors- even the extras- GLORIOUS.]

Okay, I'll stop.

Books (I've been working on this ask for like 20 minutes.)

The Remnant Chronicles (Mary E. Pearson) [Medievalish setting but it actually takes place in the future as she has said when asked! Amaaaazing villain in the second and third book. The Komizar is just- holy crap. He's haunted me since I read the trilogy. Kaden (an assassin) is a babe and I love him- he's better than Rafe (a prince), don't fight me. Lia (a princess) is a strong female lead who is extremely determined and strong.]

Pretty much anything by Sarah J. Maas (A Court of Thorns and Roses) (Throne of Glass- have only read the first book and started the second but I love it. Assassins, princes, evil kings, competitions, magic, political affairs. Amazing.)

White Crow (can't remember the author- maybe Mark something idkkk- but it's a single novel worth reading once. Very mysterious. Modern day and diary entries from another character alive in the...probably 1800s.)

The Devouring (also forget the author. Single novel. Kind of a thriller/horror.)

The Unfortunate Son (forget the author omg. Novel. Worth a read once. Pirates. White fisherboy sold into slavery in some distant land- interesting interactions between character and master- pretty sure there's a bird involved, too.)

The Witcher Series (by a name I can't even begin to spell or pronounce. If you look it up, you'll know it right away. One of the books is called Blood of Elves (this is the first book of the series), The Last Witcher- I believe. I played the third videogame of it and decided to start reading it- love it.)

The Devil in the White City (by Erik Larson. Actually a nonfiction story about an architect and a serial killer in Chicago, Illinois, 1890's told in a fictional way. Very neat way to tell a real story. Highly recommend.)

@silverwhisperer1 <- I have only gotten to beta read one of her books, but I love her writing style. The book I read was about pirates and I ADORED it. She has a pirate story already published called Hailie Storm, I believe. On Amazon, go check it out!!

We were Liars (forget the author, of course. Modern story. Veryyy confusing at first because of there being a large family. Don't worry, there's a family tree, and as you read you'll get the hang of it. No worries at all. MASSIVE PLOT TWIST THAT MADE ME BAWL MY EYES OUT IN CLASS. read it. Please. Even if it doesn't sound interesting, just pick it up. Literally one of the best books ever.)

Okay, I'm here if you need/want more :)))

#book recs #movie recs #tv show recs #I literally spent an hour on this

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possiblyimbiassed · 3 years

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John’s wedding is a crime scene - Part V

I’ve already talked a lot about what ‘crimes’ might have been committed in Sherlock’s ‘reality’ around John’s wedding in TSoT, so now I think it would be interesting to analyse some events that might have lead up to these ‘crimes’, and also how Sherlock might interpret them in his Mind Palace.

This idea occurred to me after a new discussion surged regarding Part IV of this meta series - a discussion which you can find here (X). (To anyone who prefers to start from the beginning of the series, here are the previous parts: Part I, Part II, Part III). In one of the additions, @lukessense was talking about TLD and asked the following questions:

Sherlock gets beaten by John, because he blames him for killing Mary and asks him if this is a game to him (Sherlock thinks he ‘killed’ Mary because he…flirted with John? Or what is the game here? The game of not confessing? The game of unanswered questions about their feelings?).

These things have been puzzling me too, and I’m not sure about the answers in any sense. The following is just my very subjective opinion, and there could certainly exist a lot of alternate explanations. But I’ll try to lay out my view of it all here - in an emotional context - and see how S4, in particular TLD, can relate to John’s wedding and to other events before it.

The Macho Game

Continued under the cut

First of all: what is ‘The Game’ we see played out in the show actually about? I think The Game is basically between Sherlock and John and it’s about not admitting to (romantic) emotions; it’s a sort of ‘macho’ game where the first one to show the ‘weakness’ of being in love with the other one loses. They can dance around each other for ages, but none of them will lower their guard first and risking the harsh destiny of unrequited love and abandonment and consequently be seriously hurt (’killed’) - risking to have their heart burned.

In Sherlock’s view, to fall in love is to lose all power and control over your own life - hence the constant death metaphor for it in his mind. To confess to feelings is to bare your throat to the attack of the ‘enemy’ - and the enemy is Love; in Sherlock’s eyes the culprit of much of the suffering in this world.

Why is this ‘game’ so important to maintain for Sherlock? Because emotions is such a scary, unreliable and stigmatising thing, especially between two men, and they have to be kept at bay. I think Sherlock is against them on the surface because they interfere with the logical reasoning in his work, but in reality he’s scared as h*ll of them because of his childhood (and maybe youth) traumas. I would guess something really bad happened to him, probably involving Victor Trevor and maybe also his parents.

Sherlock’s aim is to be on top of all that, to never feel doubt of his own capacity and to never give in to the dangerous dominance of emotions. His way of doing this has unfortunately been to repress all affectionate emotions which he sees as a threat. But this ’strategy of survival’ has also damaged him gravely. And inside himself, a part of him is still fighting against it.

My view of John is that he has probably been raised in a homophobic and even abusive ‘macho’ environment/family and been taught to look down on LGBTQ people, hence his gay sister’s problems with alcohol. He’s a very reserved guy who rarely talks about how he feels. He struggles with the duality of his sexual orientation and with fear of society’s condemnation of the gay side of it (”people will talk”). He may think he has a ’liberal’ view of these things (”...which is fine, by the way”), but John also believes he needs to live up to conventions and social expectations, at least on the surface, in spite of never actually having his heart in it.

John engages in this ’macho game’ with Sherlock because he’s also very confused about his own emotions. On one hand he’s both sexually attracted to and deeply in love with Sherlock, but on the other he’s afraid of what these feelings are doing to him. He thinks there’s ’something wrong’ with him for feeling this way about Sherlock. But he’s also an adrenaline junkie; he can’t resist danger. His worst nightmare is to openly confess his (romantic) love to Sherlock, only to then be abandoned by this ’un-feeling psychopath’ and left with the stigma of coming out, but with no-one to support him. I see it as unlikely that John will make the first move to break this ’dance’, unless he has reason to feel sure about Sherlock being there for him.

False conclusions

Now, even if S4 is all composed of Sherlock’s dreamed/imagined scenarios inside his Extended Mind Palace, I don’t think we can interpret everything we see in them as his ’gained wisdom’. In science, scenarios are never more accurate than the data you put into the model, or than the algorithm you use to run the scenario. And these being dream scenarios with no support in ’reality’ (in this case John’s blog) prevents us from using common logics to interpret them; the metaphors are mixed and many-layered. And all the events we see in S4 are fabrications, but maybe partly based on things that did happen before, which Sherlock’s brain now uses in ’new’ situations for the purpose of analysis. Also - and this is important - some of it may show us Sherlock’s mistaken conclusions - he might actually be wrong. :)

As for the hug scene in TLD, I think Sherlock still believes that John really wants to be the guy Mrs Het Norm Mary expected him to be, but he can’t and that’s why John starts crying at the end of the scene. When the truth is that John just can’t play this ridiculous game anymore; it has made him a liar and a cheater and it’s eating him up from the inside (and destroying his character on the meta level).

This has most probably to do with internalised homophobia, but I don’t think Sherlock has realised this just yet (because they both have it internalised). If Sherlock and John had sex on the stag night, then yes; maybe Sherlock (subconsciously) believes he thereby destroyed John’s protection from exposure. He ‘killed’ Mary, he ’broke the spell’ by making John cheat on her, and the result is a depressed John.

All of this is conclusions that Sherlock reaches first in TLD, after having run this whole scenario about John’s psychological motivations. (And I don’t think Sherlock is aware that his brain keeps running scenarios; he thinks everything in S4 actually happens). I have tried to describe my view of TLD in my meta series ‘What happened to Sherlock’ (X). All seems back to normal after the hug scene, but the problem is that TLD still ends with John being shot, so the problem has not been solved. Which propells Sherlock into his next mental scenario, TFP, where he finally has to confront his own emotions and traumas.

But I think the hug scene in TLD is false - at least partly - because it shows us a John whom it is very hard for Sherlock to comfort because of John’s self-loathing. I actually don’t believe the ‘real’ John would tell Sherlock that “it’s not okay” when Sherlock for once is there for him emotionally and actually offers him something as intimate as a hug. The ‘real’ John would take this opportunity without hesitation and hug him back. But Sherlock misinterprets his own data; he thinks this is all about John’s love for Mary, and his mourning after having lost her. While in ‘reality’ (where Mary may not even be dead) I think John is hoping for precisely this; he’s waiting for Sherlock to show his cards first. But this would mean that Sherlock first has to embrace Sentiment.

All in all I think Sherlock is a very empathetic person who cares deeply about people, especially those closest to him; he is by no means a ‘psychopath’. In fact he uses empathy as a method of crime solving; he puts himself in another persons’ shoes to see what he would do in that situation (and this comes directly from canon). This way he often manages to reason backwards to reconstruct what has happened. The problem with Sherlock’s analyses, though, is that he actively tries to avoid considering emotional aspects. His fear of certain emotions sometimes leads him in the wrong direction.

Why the beating?

So what about John’s beating of Sherlock in the morgue in TLD, where he blames Sherlock for killing Mary? This scene is outright horrible to watch and very difficult to understand. Disarming Sherlock and make him drop the scalpel is one thing, but how can Sherlock even dream that John would assault his best friend and kick the sh*t out of him while lying defenseless on the floor? For something that he didn’t even do? This is so absurd that I strongly suspect something else is going on. But here we must remember that this nightmarish scenario, as well as many others, might be based on things that have actually happened before; things that might have lead to the oddity of John’s wedding becoming a ‘crime scene’.

So let’s use Sherlock’s empathy methods on himself here, and try to analyse how Sherlock might have interpreted certain things that lead to the situation in TSoT. Because I think this is basically what Sherlock’s brain is trying to do in TLD, even if he still doesn’t actually ‘get it’. :P Which, by the way, is smoothly illustrated by this interchange between Mycroft (= Sherlock’s Brain) and Mrs Hudson (= Sherlock’s intuition? His heart?) in TLD:

Before beginning I want to point out that in my view most of the things we see happen in the show (especially after TSoT) represent Sherlock’s lively interpretation of what John has written on his blog. So in order to understand the beating in TLD, the first thing I would do is look for any kind of beating accounted for by John on his blog. And yes; there is of course this one in the blog post The Empty Hearse (X):

John actually admits publicly that he did beat up Sherlock in a restaurant, and then he goes on to wave the whole thing away without even a shred of remorse. Trying to look at this through Sherlock’s logical eyes (where emotions are repressed), I get the impression that John thinks this was a perfectly OK thing to do, after Sherlock’s little ‘joke’. It’s as if John were saying, in big macho style: “Don’t mess with Captain John Watson, Sherlock, because this is what happens, see? Sneaking up on me like that, you’ll get what you deserve.”

In fact, this whole blog post stands in stark contrast to what John had written about Sherlock when he thought he was dead. Instead of honouring Sherlock’s memory, now he talks about “Sherlock Bloody Holmes” and “I know he's a psychopath and I've accepted that, but...” And also that “he hadn't trusted us enough to tell us what was really going on. Not sure I'll ever truly forgive him for that”. And “he comes back into my life which means I find myself being attacked, kidnapped and stuck in a bonfire”. In this blog post, the only redeeming quality that Sherlock seems to have in John’s eyes, apart from his crime solving, is that he offers John a chance to help with it, which means danger for the adrenaline junkie. “He’s like a drug”. And John finishes with stating that Mary “is the best thing that's ever happened to me”, addressing it directly to Sherlock with a smiley. What is Sherlock supposed to make of all this?

I can understand that John is upset and appalled by Sherlock’s seemingly heartless nonchalance in just appearing before him like a ghost and behave like John’s years of grieving were all but a joke. But once he had assaulted the guy (thrice, if we are to believe the show’s version), why still this intense resentment? Why wasn’t it even enough to ‘vent’ by hitting the guy? Hadn’t he begged and hoped that Sherlock by some miracle would still be alive?

Apparently, now that Sherlock is back from the dead, all John’s emotional defenses immediately snap up again like a protective wall and the 'macho game’ is on once more. But unfortunately I don’t think Sherlock gets this, because it’s about Sentiment, and it has to do with him and John. Sherlock probably wouldn’t look at it that way.

But my point is, that this is what Sherlock’s subconscious is trying to tell him through the comatose scenarios in TLD: ‘Mary’ is dead because Sherlock has effectively destroyed John’s heteronormative façade.

And when did this happen? Well, it probably began when Sherlock suddenly returned from the dead; by that he managed to explode John’s carefully crafted little bubble of ordinary life. Or - more accurately - he blew up his little bubble of heteronormative life; he started to ‘kill Mary’. Hence John’s deep resentment; he was losing ‘the game’. But the biggest blow would have happened around John’s wedding, I think. Because if they actually did end up in bed after a wet Stag Night, this would have been the ultimate proof, wouldn’t it? The final evidence that Mary was not the best thing that could have happened to John, that this was just some BS that John was trying to hide behind.

John’s cover would have been blown, but he still proceeded to marry Mary Morstan as if nothing, making Sherlock feel like a trash can, only worthy of abuse. I even think there is some more evidence of this in John’s comment to his own last blog post about the Mayfly Man:

So John tries here to legitimise his own conduct, right? A married man who wanted some one-night stands. It might be significant that Sherlock doesn’t even comment on this blog post, but after the wedding he simply hacks the blog. No wonder that Sherlock’s scenarios in HLV, TAB and S4 would be dark and cynical then, is there? No wonder Sherlock calling himself “a sociopath who solves crimes as an alternative to getting high“. No wonder him calling it “surgery” when Mrs Het Norm ‘Mary’ skillfully cuts out his heart.

But the thing is, that John’s useless marriage could most probably have been avoided if Sherlock had been frank and honest to John about his feelings for him in the first place. And it’s still not too late; the ’crime’ can be reversed. I still have good hope that Sherlock will eventually reach that point in S5 by finally recognising the importance of emotions and take on the real criminal here: homophobia.

Tagging some people who might be interested:

@raggedyblue @lukessense @sarahthecoat @gosherlocked @ebaeschnbliah @sagestreet @tjlcisthenewsexy @loveismyrevolution

#TLD #John's Blog #John's wedding is a crime scene

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jageunyeoujari · 3 years

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‘idea’ & self-knowledge as love as freedom

w thanks to @radiatingdyke & henrik !!

so in a previous post, i talked abt spectacle & respect in criminal for context. now starting off w henrik’s thoughts re: plato:

"It’s honestly pretty ambiguous what Plato means by it- at least in the republic- The core theory is that ideal forms are a truer kind of reality than the shadows. The philosopher escapes a cave of shadows projected on the wall by a ruling class, the only “reality” they ever knew and were literally bound to. They crawl through a treacherous passage to find themselves face to face with the dazzling light of the sun which blinds them temporarily, and as their eyes adjust they find themselves in a forest and realize the shadow puppet of “tree” was not the real tree all along! For what the shadows are: Idk how developed popular media/conventional politics were at the time but we (America) based a lot of our shit on it so I think one strong possibility is we find ourselves in a modern allegory of the cave where the shadows dancing on the wall are the world as it’s told to us- through news education and policy and the “real” is personal experience and genuine community. Then shadows would then be actual reality as we know it, including the real trees and personal experience, a veil placed over us by metaphysical forces which can be lifted through Godwork to reveal the true nature of the inner workings of the universe. The last part of the allegory is that the philosopher returns to the cave to free the other prisoners and spread the light”

so while criminal is the revelation in the toxic cycle of the idol culture & mutual destruction & obsession are confused for love, idea is making the decision to learn what true love & connection is, leaving behind the suffocating expectations demanded by the industry, & in the process, become complete in his humanity.

so we first see taemin in jail, condemning himself for his role in the toxic parasocial relations of idol culture, and literally... calling himself out.... altho i would say that this:

in criminal is purgatory proper, the jail may be the end point of his journey there. he confesses his sins, his soul gets purified, & then next we see him in the bar which is confirmed to be heaven (which happens to look much like lee soo man's office) while the flashy models stare at taemin, the walking dead, the posh people in suits (likely executives) ignore him.

so here we have taemin trying to fit in seemlessly in this world of the elites who have the highest level of control in the idol industry. here, he is assured his status as the best & now guaranteed to be free of pain... but on their terms. there is shallow comfort but nothing else. the others content w playing games & eating delicacies, surrounded by alcohol, but are contained to sitting, indulging in frivolities, & passively looking on but no chance of connection. the bar is just another form of intoxication, but unlike criminal where there is at least an illusion of attaining love, heaven is merely stagnant. this idealized heaven of the elites cannot give true freedom as it is based on sterility & exclusivity, just another form of social control. "the dangerous dream that swallowed me is proven by you." staying here would be another form of self-betrayal & denial of the love he seeks so he rebels against heaven through his dancing, an affirmation of his life.

taemin then being shocked that all these shadow versions of himself are not the truth... silvery dissolving forms... his identity fragmenting............ but still taemin still can't break away from the illusion that the adoration & fame he receives as an idol could be actually hurting him.

as @radiatingdyke has talked about, BoA's 'killing me' line is reminiscent of korean shamans channeling gods. significant that it is BoA who he channels as they are both similar, debuting at a very young age & have been massive stars ever since then. "you are my messiah" BoA cuts him off, speaking the truth. this isn't who he rly is or what he actually wants. he must face himself & the truth or he will die.

the mirror steps are i think symbolic of plato's ladder of love. to my understanding, the ladder of love is basically about how the aim of life is the ascension of the soul to heaven. the gods can do this as a god's soul is in perfect balance w all the different aspects of itself which makes them necessarily wise & good. humans' souls are in disarray, however, & it is this conflict between all parts of the soul which makes it difficult for us to follow the gods to heaven. to do this, people have to understand the true Form of beauty, by climbing the ladder of love. the steps start from loving a body which one is attracted to due to physical beauty & by understanding the beauty of this body, one can then consider how the beauty of one body is found in all bodies. the progression goes on from loving more broadly until we come to the last step, love of knowledge & wisdom. now one is able to see the actual form of Beauty, bringing harmony to your soul. so in order to taemin to finally know peace within himself, he has to know how to love.

& the progression of the ladder implies for me that by first learning to care for others but understanding who they are in their completeness & beauty, you eventually are able to learn to care for yourself & see the beauty in your own soul. & on the flip side, the better able you care for yourself, the more you are able to care for others. i'll discuss this more when i go into my thoughts on act 2 as a whole but basically, the rest of act 2 has a truly warm & loving atmosphere when taemin speaks to the other. in comparison, act 1 presents his experience of 'love' as enmeshment, painful, confusing, losing his self of sense to cater to the desires of the other. there are feelings of obligation to stay in this destructive relationship bc that’s his prescribed role & anyway, any attention is better than none at all.

ppl w a poor sense of self can readily suffer mistreatment for the sake of a semblance of connection, confusing obsession for love when what’s rly happening is actually cathexis, an investment of emotions. while care & affection can exist w cathexis, as does happen in fans’ relations w idols, this is not the same thing as love which liberates & cultivates growth in yourself & the other. fans’ obsession w idols quickly flipping to hate when idols stray from the designated persona of perfection is investment in that image but is not real love. in act 1, he does not understand the other clearly for what it is, destruction that must end, & the fact that he is suffering. without such awareness, he is incapable of truly giving & receiving love.

& while act 2 does have similar themes of taking on other's pain, it becomes a stark contrast to act 1 bc he does so from a place of utter assurance of his identity & true self-love, not from the fear of being left alone. he loves himself for who he is so he is able to love for ourselves purely as well.

& as @radiatingdyke has said (& in much more detail than i can) the ladder reflecting the sky can also be a reference to indigenous korean beliefs where the sky represents the entire universe. the creator god is Hanulnim, literally sky god.

also, even tho NGDA as a whole is replete w western imagery & references & v catholic, the overarching narrative of the 2 albums don't feel western to me in that there never is a fight between good & evil. a typical western narrative would be more like there would the defeat of like 'criminal' taemin by 'good' taemin or an obvious redemption arc. & to me, idea doesn't read so much as he confronts & then accepts both the good & the bad in him but that he leaves behind these limited concepts altogether & instead connects back to the true essence of the universe & becomes free to be utterly himself.

he’s struggled so much over the course of his career w figuring out how to reconcile the duality of himself, what it means to be authentic as an idol, wishing for his true self to be seen & appreciated. it’s always been looking outward for that validation but skirting away from revealing the whole truth of himself... & idea is the final answer to all that. no more denial, repression, burning away of the past, configuration to other ppl’s desires, no more use of mystery as a defense against the fear of being rejected if people see him for who he really is. he accepts himself for who he is & that’s all that matters.

in classic gaytholic taem fashion, he compares himself to jesus + mary + other divinity in NGDA imagery but ultimately, taemin is done w being both a god & the condemned. “i’ve finally opened my eyes.” he’s never been anything but a human being & he’s showing us all the beauty in that.

#taemin #never gonna dance again #kpop #finally done w this post...!! i accidentally deleted it like twice #[upside down emoji w tears]#anyway... idea is abt love NGDA is abt love as much as it abt taemin's personal transformation into a new self

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queenieschronicles · 4 years

Text

Vide Cor Meum VI

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary: What would a man do to protect his family, wealth, and business? Marry his daughter off to Birmingham’s most ambitious: Thomas Shelby.

Word Count: 1302

Warnings: N/A

A/N: Sorry about that! I had a busy weekend and then my Google doc got deleted, so I put off rewriting this.

Parts: i | ii | iii | iv | v

The following days felt more familiar to you. You and Elliot shared laughs over afternoon tea. You got to flaunt a couple new outfits you'd custom-ordered from a tailor in France. There was games of "Are you There, Moriarty?" and "Charades" in the parlor with Elliot and friends.

You hadn’t dreamt much of what your life would be like as a wife or lady of the house. As you looked at your friends laughing and drinking by the fireside, you knew this is what it ought to have been.

His cool gaze caught your eye from the mantle. That odd photograph of you and your husband was a cruel reminder of your reality. For as long as he was gone, you would hold on to this pretend life. You'd keep it safe, tucked away within a dollhouse and its fictious walls.

With your mind preoccupied, the night seemed to carry on without you. No one missed a beat. The laughter and splendor carried on, until you parted with your friends at the front door.

"Bye Mary! Goodbye, Sylvie! Rupert, get them home safe! Help poor Mary get William inside!" You waved.

You were always a little sad when they left. A warm hand squeezed your shoulder and you leaned back into his warmth. He was your reminder that you were never left alone.

There was a fine line that would were dancing with Elliot. There wasn't room in a marriage for more than two people. Flowers compete with weeds. There can be no harmony there. For as knowledgeable about gardening as you were, you'd forgotten that those flowers need tending and weeding to survive.

You stepped out from his embrace reluctantly. You cast a bashful look to the floor and then up where Mary's scrutinizing gaze was. There was no hiding this from Thomas, but you'd taken safety measures.

"To bed, then. Goodnight, Elli. Thank you for keeping me company and watching out for me while Thomas is gone." You had barely talked of Tommy since Elliot had been here. Around Mary though, you felt like it was necessary to clear the air.

You two walked up the stairs. Elliot was always one step behind making sure you never lost your footing. At the top, you turned to him and gave him a hug.

"Thank you. Really."

He smiled," Always, (Y/N/N). You have always been the one."

Your cheeks burned with anxiety and embarrassment. A part of you yearned to let old feelings come forward, but you knew that was not okay.

You smiled and nodded. You backed up toward your room down the hall. "Goodnight, Elliot," you called," I will see you in the morning."

You nearly turned and ran into your room. You groaned. These were the problems in your life. Had you been able to make all of the decisions, none of this would have ever happened. You could have avoided all of this all together.

You sat by your vanity for some time. You ran the brush through your hair over and over. It be came a source of calming. You went to bed that night with much still on your mind.

You leaned over and blew the candle out and nestled back into your pillows.

You counted sheep.

You made plans for tomorrow.

You thought happy thoughts.

You twiddled your thumbs.

Finally, something happened.

He hadn't knocked. You could sense he had been hesitant to answer. After all, he had inferred earlier that you were always supposed to be his.

He was agile in the night and you wondered how he could see with the majority of the moonlight blocked by your curtains.

"Elliot, I've been thinking about it too…" you sighed deeply. He would surely be gone tomorrow when you told him you couldn't betray your vows to Tommy.

He said nothing but continued moving. You paused," Elliot, you can't be here.. I know. I never wanted this to happen. I have been scared to be alone. You made me feel safe here…"

You vomited all of that out until silence seeped in between you. For once, it was uncomfortable.

" I'm sorry Elliot." Anxiety rose like hot bile in your throat. You understood that he was probably disappointed and jaded. "Elliot?" The figure was still.

Your breath hitched. The hairs on your neck pricked. Something wasn't right.

The figure lurched forward. Your bed creaked and groaned under its weight. You thrashed wildly. The sheets tangled around your ankles holding you hostage.

Meaty hands clutched your body tightly. You attempted to scream but it was strangled by a pillow and then two hands around your throat.

You bashed your hands against the stranger. If you were to die, it would not be without a fight.

Your lungs burned. You ached for air. His hands mashed up against your trachea. For a moment, you felt disconnected from your body. Almost painless. You felt the bruises. You felt the pressure. It was all just numb and fading. You squeezed your eyes shut willing a different picture. If this was your last image, you didn’t want it to be a grim shadow.

Weightless.

You opened your eyes as the crushing pressure released and the shadow was replaced by dim moonlight. You heard the crash of a body.

"Never fuck with a Shelby." His malice was charged.

You watch transfixed on the revolver in his hand. There was a click, silence, and then a shot rang out into the night. You were frozen there. You hadn't even felt his hands on you. Your body was shaking but you couldn't tell if it was him or your nerves.

Then his voice brought you back," (Y/N).. Hey, I need you to look at me. (Y/N/N), I've got you. I won't let anything happen to you." You were not used to such softness. It looked weird on him.

You blinked a couple times. Hot, fresh tears stained your face. Tommy pulled you into his arms. He held you close as you sobbed into his shoulder. You were finally safe enough to crumble.

You hadn't a clue about the time, but it felt like forever that he comforted you. You steadied yourself and sat back.

He kneeled at your legs and looked up at you. His eyes didn't miss a detail. You sniffled and brought a sleeve to your nose. There was no time for propriety right now.

"Y- You came back." You choked out. Your voice was hoarse and dry. You wondered if you'd always feel ghost hands wrapped around your throat.

Thomas reached up and brushed a tear from your cheek." You're my wife. I'd never leave you." He may have had many faults, but his loyalty wasn't one.

You tried to look over to the corpse, but Tommy made you look back at him. " I don't understand.. what did I do?" You began to sob softly into your hands.

Tommy took a seat beside you and pulled you into his embrace. He smoothed your hair over your shoulders and planted his lips on your head." I'm sorry,(Y/N/N), I should have listened to you. I'll never leave you alone like that again."

"He didn't come.." you whimpered.

"Come again, my sweetheart?" He stiffened.

"Elliot.. he was here. I thought it was him.. why didn't he come?" You cried numbly.

Despite a searing-hot anger that bubbled underneath the surface, Thomas listened to you babble on about how he was here. He should have heard. Something didn't sit well with Thomas.

As he held you, there was a lot about his trip and what your father had been scared of that were just now starting to make sense.

They had made a fatal error in their pursuit. They'd fucked with you. They had fucked with Mrs. Shelby.

#tommy shelby #Thomas shelby #Thomas x Reader #Tommy x reader #Thomas shelby x reader #Tommy shelby x reader #Thomas shelby imagine #Tommy shelby fic #Queeniewrites

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qwertyfingers · 3 years

Note

hi it's watch order anon again i sent the time travel ep ask before you answered the tng watch order one (after i saw your post about it taking a while) and i was actually thanking you for recommending spn eps to me (because i'm also the spn watch order anon) and talking about spn time travel episodes (which i am going to look up you don't have to rec any to me if you don't want to). thank you VERY much however for the tng time travel rec list i'm adding them to... the list

OH IM STUPIT KLSGJCHGFG

well, here we have: FITZ’S FUN-RANKED LIST OF SUPERNATURAL TIME TRAVEL EPS (TAKING A ROUNDABOUT DEFINITION OF TIME TRAVEL TO INCLUDE ALTERNATE UNIVERSES BECAUSE THEYRE FUN IN THE SAME WAY OKAY)

IMPORTNANT DISCLAIMER: S5E4 The End is theeeeee iconic Supernatural time travel/au ep but do NOT be led astray you HAVE to watch this one with context. do the full deancas lazarus rising to the end speedrun you will NOT regret it I PROMISE

S6E15 The French Mistake THEEEEEEEEE episode of all time amongst thee show of all time. they KILL eric kripke ONSCREEN

S3E11 Mystery Spot - LITERALLY a timeloop fanfic. EXTREMELY good. fave pre-Cas episode for me.

S5E8 Changing Channels - brings back mystery spots MOTW and makes him even more powerful. iconic behaviour, great episode.

S6E17 My Heart Will Go On is fun hijinks-y but admittedly has very little on-screen time travel. Balthazar is in it though and I like him

S6E18 Frontierland - Dean and Sam send themselves back in time AND it’s a cowboy episode. VERY star trek

S13E16 Scoobynatural - IT COUNTS I THINK. Semi-related, S8E8 Hunteri Heroici involves a guy who make cartoons come to life with his mind. It’s a very fun and very pretty episode and Cas and Dean r gay, well worth watching <3

S4E17 It’s A Terrible Life - Zachariah traps Sam and Dean in alternate reality where Dean is a (heavily implied out queer) businessman of some sort and wears fruity suits. Sam is there I guess. One of its finest Gay Homophobia episodes and genuinely very fun to watch.

S11E14 The Vessel - Dean wears a fruity little sailor outfit and Casifer (Lucifer who is possessing Castiel and the Winchesters don’t know yet - it’s a whole story arc) fists Sam’s soul just for funsies. The ONLY reason Casifer couldn’t get on that boat is because if Cas saw Dean’s fruity sailor outfit for more than a minute he would have lost his MIND and Lucifer woulda had to leave his vessel sharpish.

S8E11 LARP and the Real Girl - I think the title speaks for itself really, I think this counts! Charlie Bradbury (Felicia Day’s character) is in it and she’s cool and gay and Dean wears chainmail <3

S7E12 Time After Time I can’t remember that much about this ep but Dean does wear a very good 40s suit including a shoulder holster <3

I really want to tell you to watch the Belphegor episodes (S15E1-S15E3) but none of it would actually make sense I’m just obsessed with them bringing a messy gay bitch demon into Jack’s body literally top 10 Supernatural Gay Homophobia Moments in my onion.

S8E12 As Time Goes By - Sam and Dean’s grandfather jumps forward in time to find them, and introduces them to the history of the Men Of Letters, whose house they will steal in the next episode

S4E3 In The Beginning - This and the next episode are only ranked so low because I don’t care about Mary and John drama. HOWEVER. Zachariah sends Dean back in time to meet his mum before she married John and Zachariah very possibly fucked her. There are a LOT of memes about this now.

S5E13 The Song Remains The Same - Anna tries to stop Sam from being born. This entire concept is VERY funny to me. As is Sam and Dean showing up on the doorstep of their mum and dad, who do not have children yet, telling them their real names and saying ‘it’s a family name’ when John points out that Mary has relatives with the same name. Comedic genius I don’t care about the rest of the episode but from what I remember it’s pretty good.

S14E13 Lebanon - this episode is bad because it tries to redemption arc John BUT. it gave us [spoilers] 1) lesbian steve jobs ted talk sam 2) Dean trying to placate alt-Cas who never got to know him by doing the ‘Cas....’ and gentle touch thing and alt-Cas just going ham and obliterating his ass 3) Dean choosing to go back to their world (with Cas <3) over staying in this universe with his Dad because he’s not worth it <3

There are several flashback eps to Dean and Sam’s childhoods, but as you can imagine these are all pretty sad and not the kind of thing you wanna watch For Funsies. The wiki has a list of those here.

The longest alt-universe arc is the Apocalypse World - a world where the Angels and Demons successfully orchestrated their plan to cause the apocalypse and are steadily wiping out the last of the human population. This isn’t overall a “fun” arc, but is v interesting and pique your attention if you like time travel and AU content. The wiki lists all the episodes here.

#I LIKE THAT THIS IS MY JOB NOW #IM GENUINELY HAVING A REALLY GOOD TIME MAKING EPISODE REC LISTS IT MAKES MY BRAIN HAPPT #spn #watch lists

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go-scottishgal14 · 3 years

Text

FINALLY!!!!

Royal aides want Harry and Meghan to give up their titles: Insiders condemn prince's 'disgraceful' podcast attack on family that has left the palace feeling 'bewildered and betrayed'

Palace aides have called on Duke and Duchess of Sussex to give up their titles

Senior courtiers spoke of a growing sense of 'bewilderment and betrayal'

They are particularly incensed by Harry's criticism of Prince Charles's parenting

By CAROLINE GRAHAM FOR THE MAIL ON SUNDAY

PUBLISHED: 22:14, 15 May 2021 | UPDATED: 22:52, 15 May 2021

Palace aides have called on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to give up their titles following Prince Harry's latest 'disgraceful' assault on the Royal Family.

In a withering condemnation of the couple's continued attacks on the Royals, senior courtiers told The Mail on Sunday of a growing sense of 'bewilderment and betrayal'.

They are particularly incensed over Harry's 'shocking' criticism of Prince Charles's parenting skills and, by implication, those of the Queen and the late Prince Philip.

Dailymail.co.uk: News, Sport, Showbiz, Celebrities from Daily MailPauseNext video1:07 / 1:51SettingsFull-screenRead More

'People are appalled that he could do this to the Queen when the Duke of Edinburgh is barely in his grave,' said one aide. 'To drag his grandfather into this is so shocking and disrespectful.

The Duke of Sussex waves to the crowds as he appears on stage at the Global Citizen VAX LIVE concert this month

Meghan Markle spoke to viewers of the Vax Live concert during her first TV appearance since the Oprah Winfrey interview

'The Duke of Sussex has now spent a significant amount of time emphasising that he's no different to anyone else and attacking the institution which he says has caused him so much pain. There is a growing feeling that if you dislike the institution that much, you shouldn't have the titles.'

Laying bare the toxicity that now exists between the Sussexes and the wider Royal Family, another source said: 'They should put the titles into abeyance, so they still exist, but are not used, like they agreed to do with their HRHs.

'They should just become Harry and Meghan. And if they refuse to do that, they have to explain why not.'

While it is understood that no formal moves are planned to strip the couple of their titles, the pressure for them to be relinquished demonstrates how deep the sense of betrayal has become in the Palace.

His latest outburst means tensions are expected to be high when Harry returns to Britain for the unveiling of a new statue of his mother, Princess Diana, on July 1.

Harry has left senior Royals baffled by his 'woeful lack of compassion' in the expletive-filled 90-minute interview last week with actor and podcaster Dax Shepard.

In particular, there is fury that he spoke out just a month after his grandfather's funeral.

Palace aides have called on Duke and Duchess of Sussex to give up their titles

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex wave to the crowds after their wedding at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, Prince Harry, Prince Charles and Prince William attending a requiem mass for Hugh van Cutsem at Brentwood Cathedral in 2013

The 36-year-old says he and Meghan, who are expecting their second child, moved to the millionaires' enclave of Montecito in California to break the cycle of 'genetic pain'.

'He's treated me the way that he was treated,' he said of his father. 'There's a lot of genetic pain and suffering that gets passed on anyway. Isn't life about breaking the cycle? There's no blame.

'But certainly when it comes to parenting, if I have experienced some kind of pain or suffering because of the pain or suffering that, perhaps, my father or my parents had suffered, I'm going to make sure I break that cycle so I don't pass it on.'

Referring to his father's 'unhappy' time at Gordonstoun school in Scotland – which Charles described as 'Colditz in kilts' – Harry added: 'Suddenly I started to piece it all together and go, OK, so this is where he went to school.

'This is what happened. I know this bit about his life. I also know that's connected to his parents. So that means that he's treated me the way that he was treated, which means how can I change that for my own kids?'

He compared life in The Firm to 'a mixture between The Truman Show and being in a zoo' – a reference to the 1998 Jim Carrey film about a man who is oblivious to the fact that his entire life is a TV show.

'I've seen behind the curtain,' he added. 'I've seen the business model. I know how this operation runs… I don't want to be part of this.'

The Queen, Prince Philip and Prince Charles attending the wedding of Princess Eugenie at St. George's Chapel in Windsor in 2018

Prince Harry speaks at the Global Citizen: VAX Live concert on May 8, 2021

Prince Charles walks behind the Duke of Edinburgh's coffin during his funeral last month

The cherish titles given to Harry by the Queen on his wedding day

Harry may be under pressure to relinquish his dukedom – but there is no suggestion the Queen would strip him of it.

She conferred on him the titles of Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton and Baron Kilkeel on his wedding day in 2018.

Were he to give those up, he would revert to HRH Prince Henry of Wales and Meghan would become HRH Princess Henry of Wales. As sixth in line to the throne, the title of Prince is his birthright, although he could choose not to use it.

When the couple decided they would no longer represent the Queen in an official capacity, they were allowed to retain their Royal titles and HRH styles, although they agreed not to use the latter.

Harry’s late mother, Princess Diana, agreed to give up her HRH title when she and Prince Charles divorced, but when Harry and Meghan stepped back as working Royals, Palace officials reportedly felt the loss of HRH would appear too ‘punitive’.

Similar concerns led Palace sources to suggest that the Queen is unlikely to remove the dukedom, particularly as it was a wedding gift.

The last occasion when a senior member of the Royal Family had titles removed was after the abdication crisis of 1936 when Edward VIII was given the title of HRH the Duke of Windsor.

Rules around the HRH style were set in Letters Patent issued by George V in 1917.

In them, he stipulated that the son of the son of a Monarch is HRH and so, by convention, is his spouse. Monarchs are, however, free to change the rules.

The Queen issued fresh Letters Patent in 1996 to remove HRH from those who had acquired it on marrying into the family and who then got divorced, namely the Princess of Wales and the Duchess of York.

It was not done out of spite – Diana had already volunteered to lose her HRH style – but of the principle that Royal status acquired on marriage would disappear if that union was dissolved.

His comments have torpedoed hopes that his reunion with Charles and Prince William at the Duke of Edinburgh's funeral last month could bring a reconciliation after the Oprah Winfrey interview in which he and Meghan accused the Royal Family of institutional racism and refusing to help the Duchess when she was suicidal.

Harry also used the interview with the US chat show host in March to describe how he felt 'really let down' by his father who, he claimed, had refused to take his calls after Megxit.

But a close friend of Charles last night said: 'If you follow Harry's logic and treat the Royals just as ordinary people, then the Prince is a single parent who's been doing his best for years.

Can you imagine how it feels to have that effort judged so harshly, so publicly?

'Harry talks about compassion. But where is the compassion for his father? Where is your compassion for your own family who have just buried a much-loved member?

And where is your compassion for your grandmother who has just lost the man she's loved all her life?'

Harry and Meghan agreed not to use their HRH titles when they stepped back as working members of the Royal Family, but have used Duke and Duchess on the money-spinning projects they have launched since moving to the US, including multi-million-pound deals with Netflix and Spotify.

'Their titles are obviously their biggest selling point here,' said one Hollywood producer.

'Without them they are just A-list celebrities like George Clooney. Their attractiveness is based on the allure of those titles.'

Royal aides have expressed concern that the couple have lost touch with reality by continually focusing on themselves when millions of people have lost jobs and loved-ones during the pandemic.

During last week's Armchair Expert podcast, Harry said he did not view his comments as 'complaining' but instead sharing a vulnerability that would have a 'positive impact' on others struggling with mental illness.

But another Royal source said: 'When people have lost jobs and loved ones, it's really not the time to be preaching from your £11 million home about how the rest of us should live.'

Royal aides have previously spoken of a 'genuine desire' to build bridges with the Sussexes, but noted that 'it's impossible to rebuild something while someone keeps chopping it down'.

Harry had appeared on the podcast to promote The Me You Can't See, a mental health series he has produced with Ms Winfrey, and which launches on Apple TV+ on Friday.

During the interview, he said he felt a deeper connection 'to the emotionally free and systemic free people' he worked with in Africa and within the Commonwealth than those he met within the confines of the Palace.

Last night, a Royal aide said: 'If that is what he truly believes then why not give up the titles?'

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are facing a storm over a deal with US firm Procter & Gamble that sells 'racist' skin whitening cream

By Mark Hookham and Mary Ellen Synon for the Mail on Sunday

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex face questions over their partnership with an American cosmetics firm that makes tens of millions of pounds a year selling 'racist' skin-whitening creams.

Meghan and Harry last week announced their Archewell Foundation had signed a 'global partnership' with US multi-national Procter & Gamble (P&G) to 'build more compassionate communities'.

But the deal has thrown a spotlight on P&G's hugely controversial sale in Asia and Africa of skin-lightening creams, which reduce the concentration or production of melanin – the natural pigment that gives human skin its colour.

Campaigners have demanded that P&G and other major firms stop selling such creams.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex face questions over their partnership with an American cosmetics firm

They say the products fuel a 'toxic belief' that 'a person's worth is measured by the colour of their skin' and that light skin is better than dark.

An investigation by The Mail on Sunday has found that Olay – a major P&G skincare brand – sells White Radiance moisturiser in India, Malaysia and Singapore.

In India, the product is said to lighten skin tone and deliver 'radiant and brighter skin'.

In the Philippines, P&G sells Olay White Radiance Light Perfecting Essence, which 'inhibits melanin formation in the deepest layer of skin'. In Lagos, Nigeria, an MoS reporter last week bought Olay Natural White cream, which promises 'pinkish fairness'.

Alex Malouf, a former P&G executive, said Meghan and Harry will come under pressure to say whether they support the sale of such products.

'Meghan has talked a lot about the issue of race and racism, so this does stick out like a sore thumb,' Mr Malouf said.

It comes as:

Harry and Meghan faced calls to scrap their deal with P&G because one of its biggest suppliers of palm oil – FGV Holdings – has been accused of exploiting and abusing workers in Malaysia;

P&G was also lambasted for its role in the destruction of large swathes of virgin forest in Canada to make loo roll. It is claimed the company buys an estimated 490,000 tons of wood pulp a year from Canada's boreal forest;

A study by a major US environmental organisation found that suppliers of wood pulp from the forest were cutting down the habitat of the woodland caribou, an 'at-risk' species of reindeer.

Prince Harry has been outspoken on environmental and wildlife issues. Worth an estimated £6 billion a year, the skin-lightening industry is booming thanks to growing demand in Asia and Africa.

But cosmetic firms have faced mounting pressure amid the growth of the Black Lives Matter movement and claims that the use of such products is deeply rooted in colonial history.

Last year, following an investigation by the website Buzzfeed, Johnson & Johnson said it was dropping its Fine Fairness line, which was available in Asia and the Middle East.

The L'Oreal Group announced plans to remove 'white/whitening', 'fair/fairness' and 'light/lightening' from the names of its products, while Unilever announced plans to rename Fair & Lovely – a popular brand in India.

An investigation by The Mail on Sunday has found that Olay – a major P&G skincare brand – sells White Radiance moisturiser in India, Malaysia and Singapore. Pictured: Two of the whitening products sold by Procter and Gamble

But P&G has continued to sell the popular White Radiance and Natural White products via its Olay brand. Olay has defended such products by comparing them to tanners or make-up.

One woman who runs a beauty shop in Lagos, sold the reporter two jars of Olay Natural White on Friday afternoon. The packaging said the product had been made in Thailand and it promised 'an extraordinary pinkish fairness'.

'This cream protects you against the sun, lightens your skin,' she said. 'It will reduce spots and give you a lovely skin tone.' In India, P&G sells Olay Natural White 7 in one glowing fairness cream.

Olay's website says the cream brightens skin tone and contains niacinamide, a skin lightening compound.

Nina Davuluri, 32, the first Indian-American to win Miss America, said skin-whitening products sell a 'racist' ideology 'that you need white skin to be beautiful, you need white skin to be successful'.

She has been fighting so-called 'colourism' – discrimination based on skin colour – since she saw a headline in an Indian newspaper which asked, 'Is Miss America too dark to be Miss India' after she won the title in 2014.

Miss Davuluri last year launched an online petition urging P&G, Unilever, L'Oreal and Johnson & Johnson to stop selling whitening creams.

The petition states: 'They are sending the message that people are 'less than' because they are dark. That they are not enough because of the colour of their skin. That they are not seen, valued, or heard. This is racism.'

She said last night she was shocked that P&G had not done more to address the issue.

Campaigner Kavitha Emmanuel said she founded India's Dark Is Beautiful campaign in 2009 to 'address the toxic belief that a person's worth is measured by the colour of their skin'.

She added: 'That is the toxic belief that these brands, through their advertisements seem to be propagating.'

Joanne Rondilla, a professor at San Jose State University who has researched skin-lightening in the Philippines, said Harry and Meghan had a 'responsibility' to voice concerns about these products with P&G.

'Like everyone else around the world, I saw that interview with Oprah that Meghan did,' she added. 'It was important for her to bring up these issues of colourism. I don't think this partnership advances that conversation.'

Robin Averbeck, of the Rainforest Action Network, a US environment organisation, called on the Duke and Duchess to end their relationship with P&G because of the firm's links with FGV Holdings.

'The fact that P&G has continued to be complicit in human rights abuses, in environmental devastation, is reason enough why this partnership shouldn't be formed or shouldn't continue. It showed that full due diligence on the company was not done.'

The Archewell Foundation has said its partnership with P&G will focus on 'gender equality, more inclusive online spaces, and resilience and impact through sport'.

P&G did not respond to questions about its skin-whitening creams, the US ban on imports from FGV Holdings or its use of wood pulp from Canada.

But in a statement, it said: 'At P&G, we are committed to doing the right thing across all aspects of our business – without exception. Doing more and doing better is important for us all – for our company, in our communities and for our planet.

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

Text

v e l o c i t y - chapter ii

The one where John’s your true mate, but he doesn’t want you to be his.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist. It’s being constantly updated

John’s P.O.V.

God fucking damn it. Just what the hell was going on back in Bobby’s house and why the hell wasn’t he picking up the phone?

For the first time since I left her behind, I found myself considering I should have at least given my omega - no, not my omega, just Y/N - enough attention to ask her for her number. At least it would have been handy in a time like this one, where my heart was pumping loudly, shortening my breathing, and making it difficult for me to focus. I just wanted to know what was going on, but there was no way I could tap into an unfulfilled bond to see what had scared Y/N so badly.

A sharp pang in my stomach had me abruptly turning the impala around and returning to the direction we had left behind two weeks before, much to the boys’ surprise. I made sure to ignore their open mouths and raised eyebrows, but I should know better than to hope that they’d quietly accept this change of plans.

“Where are we going?” Dean asked, while Sam rubbed off the sleep from his face.

“Back to Bobby’s,” I barked, and I knew that my tone didn’t allow for any follow-up questions. Still, Dean couldn’t help himself. He had been (sometimes not so) subtly teasing me about the girl, making jokes about how I probably wouldn’t even be able to handle the needs of a young body, anything to get a reaction from me.

“Forgot something there?” I knew what he was implying, and even though it couldn’t be further from the truth, I couldn’t find it in myself to explain just yet. Terror made my heartbeat clear and quick on my ears, and I hated it. It wasn’t a feeling that was familiar, but considering it truly belonged to someone else, it was just beyond irritating.

“Something like that.”

Stepping on the pedal as I was once again flooded with a panic that didn’t belong to me, I found myself praying I’d be able to make it there in time to stop whatever the hell was going on. To whom I was praying, I didn’t know, just as I couldn’t explain why the hell I cared.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I squeezed my knees tighter to my body, trying to make myself smaller while attempting to control my breathing at the same time. It wasn’t easy, especially since my heartbeat was all over the place.

At least the screaming has subdued. Although that did little to appease my concern, it did help in my task of hiding in this safe room inside the empty basement. Just before Bobby managed to shove me in here, the last thing he told me was to keep quiet and still until someone came to get me, but now that his voice had been gone for a while and he still hadn’t reappeared, I doubted anyone would come looking for me.

Still, I couldn’t find it in myself to uncurl my body from this somewhat calm-inducing position and actually step out of the room to go explore the house. Not when I could still remember so clearly what I found when my dad was murdered. And I couldn’t see the same done with Bobby. I just couldn’t. Not when that meant that I was completely alone, with no one to worry about me in this entire world.

Tears rose, prompting me to blink them away, scared that once I allowed myself to grieve, I wouldn’t be able to stop. This wasn’t the time or the place. My life could very well still be in danger. And I couldn’t let Bobby’s… disappearance be for nothing. No. He put himself at risk for me, I’d abide by his wishes.

First things first, I’d stay right here, not moving a muscle. If nothing came to find me, then I’d slowly make my way out of this hiding spot… once I deemed it was safe enough to do so.

But for now, there wasn’t much I could do, other than focus on my breathing and keep quiet. Real quiet. And watch time slowly go by. Praying that if something did come to find me, it would come in with a friendly face.

John’s P.O.V.

“Shit.” It was all I said as I barely managed to park the car right outside Bobby’s place before leaping out of it. It was pretty obvious something had happened over here, if not by the fact that the front door was slammed open, at least by the tracks of something that had been dragged over the front lawn, looking too much like a body not to make every single nerve end on my body stand to attention again.

At least I was feeling something again, and even if it was from my own system and not hers, I considered it a good sign. Halfway through the drive the panic that had been steadily building had completely disappeared, and I almost believed, if only for a second, something had happened to her - only to realize that if someone had killed my mate, I would have definitely known.

I still didn’t want to think about her as being my mate, but the existence of this connection between us was undeniable, especially as I bursted into the house, gun in my hand, to find blood fucking everywhere. The feelings of worry skyrocketed - I wanted to attribute them to her, but I knew they were mine. Just what the fuck had happened here and where the fuck was her?

I could hear the boys walking around the house behind me. I couldn’t give them any attention. My mind was occupied with her and only her, needing to know that she was safe, almost desperate to know where the heck she was.

Bobby was a smart man. If he had noticed even an inkling of something going South, he’d have found a way to protect her. I just had to figure out what it was. Gun still in hand, although it was pretty clear that whatever it was that had been here had left long ago, I encircled the sofa and started to make my way down to the basement, remembering a conversation I’d had with Bobby one of the many times I came to visit.

“There’s an old closet in the back of the room downstairs,” he’d said. “It’d make for a good panic room, if I ever ended up having something I needed to keep safe.” Despite never having seen it, it wasn’t too hard to find it once I managed to turn on the lights. It really was made to be imperceptible for someone who wasn’t looking for it, but since that wasn’t my case, the difference in the wood texture of the walls sorely jumped out to my eyes, and I reached out to curve the barely existent nail of my thumb on the indentation until I was able to pull it open.

And there she was.

She was asleep, head resting on her knees, tucked away into the corner of the closet-sized room. A sigh of relief fell out of my mouth before I could reel it in, my heart clenching at the adorable sight before I snapped myself out of it. Fuck, no. This wasn’t any sentimental mate shit. This was me, worried about another living human being - one that had been placed under my friend’s care after having lost her entire family. That was all there was to it.

Still, I was careful when I reached out to put a hand on top of her, hoping it would suffice to pull her from her slumber. What I wasn’t expecting, however, was for that fucking connection to call out at the feeling of her skin under my calloused fingers, her eyes snapping open in shock and her mouth opening in clear intent to scream her lungs out.

“Shhhh… It’s just me. Shut the fuck up,” I groaned, one hand clasped over her mouth as I pulled her up with me and drag us out of the panic room. From the corner of my eye, I could see the boys had caught on to what had happened, and were clearly relieved to see her safe, despite the lack of indication as to where Bobby could be.

After the initial shock, she finally stopped mumbling against my palm and took a deep breath, probably taking in the reality of the situation. It was just us. No immediate danger around.

I don’t think she even noticed when I slipped out from behind her, finally uncovering her mouth so I could try to understand what the hell had happened around here. The lack of contact between our skin, however, was sorely felt by my alpha genes, that begged me to look for her softness again, keep it close to me.

“Bobby?” Just that question made it clear we wouldn’t be getting much answers from her. Before I could say anything, Dean shook his head with an apologetic smile, and despite her falling down on a couch nearby, much to my surprise, she didn’t start crying or screaming again. If anything, she took the news (or lack of them) with quiet resignation, something that intrigued me to no end.

She’d lost everything, but instead of behaving like some poor little omega, she just accepted that this was her life now.

“Didn’t you hear anything?” I finally asked, and had to suppress a smug grin when her eyes immediately snapped up to meet mine, easily abandoning Dean’s gaze.

“Screams. But I couldn’t make out what was being said, it just seemed…” She hesitated then, like she needed to gather some strength to keep talking about it, but still, she pushed through. “It just seemed like they were torturing him, you know? It didn’t last long, but it was…”

She didn’t need to say it, it was easy to understand. Haunting. Devastating. I can’t imagine how it must have been like to be stuck in that spot, desperately wanting to help - because I knew it had been the case, I could feel it through our… bond, as nonexistent as it was - and being absolutely terrified about what could be waiting on the other side.

I had the overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around her, feel her body against mine again and comfort her mind with my presence. It was so strong, in fact, that I had to bury my fingernails in my palms in order to stop myself from doing that, but since the urge remained, I distracted my animalistic side with some practical tasks that needed to be dealt with.

“Okay, let’s get the hell out of here. Sam, did you pack her stuff?” Knowing my youngest had gone up to the second floor and was easily the most prepared out of all of us, it didn’t surprise me when he answered by simply holding up a duffel in his hands. “Alright, then let’s hit the road.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Taken by surprise and ripped from my admittedly dark thoughts, I whipped around to stare at the older man who looked like this was just another ordinary day, like he hadn’t just very clearly tried to alter the course of my existence. But instead of providing me with any sort of explanation, he just reached out for my arm and pulled me from the couch, dragging me all the way to the main floor of the house and out of it before I was able to speak again.

“Stop! Hold on!” I managed to release my wrist from his grip, but I don’t think he would have even realized I was speaking if it weren’t from the sudden lack of contact between our bodies.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” The omega in me wanted to recoil at the sight of her alpha looking at us with such anger, but he wasn’t our alpha. And he definitely had no right to come here and take control of my life like I had no say in the matter whatsoever.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I shot back, and his mouth hung open in surprise. It almost made me feel smug about myself, knowing I had the power to shock the great John Winchester, who thought he was too good to become someone’s mate, but I was too angry to even acknowledge that. “You can’t just come in here and take me away, that’s not how it works.”

“I’m trying to keep you safe.” From the little I knew of him, considering our limited encounters and the stories Bobby and other hunters had told me about, I knew he was a man of few words, but even my irate state of mind could identify the warning bells on the way he uttered that simple sentence, paired with the sight of the veins on his forearms as he clenched his hands into fists.

Still, I pressed on.

“Who gave you that responsibility? Bobby was my godfather, my father trusted him, I know next to nothing about you. In fact, I want to keep knowing next to nothing about you. Just the same as you want when it comes to me, I’m certain.”

Waves of anger radiated from him, and even Sam and Dean seemed tense from a distance, where they stood by the car, watching our altercation. Guess seeing their dad this furious wasn’t as usual as I figured it would be, considering the Alpha inside of him.

“Why is it so hard for you to just obey? Get inside the car. I’m not gonna ask you again.” Of course, he could have made me obey, if he wanted to. One order from their alpha and any omega would fall to their knees, the genetic pull too strong to ignore. But he didn’t use his alpha voice, he used his John voice, and if at first that surprised me, believing it to be from a place of respect, the realization that it was most likely because he didn’t want to recognize that our bond even existed only filled me with even more anger.

“I am not getting in that car with you.” I braced myself for what he could do, trying to harden my soul so it wouldn’t hurt to see him leave - that’s what I wanted, right? - while also preparing to fight if he finally relented and took advantage of his manipulation power, but there was just no way I could anticipate him shortening the distance between us and easily throwing me over his shoulder like I was nothing more than a sack of potatoes.

John’s P.O.V.

Fucking stupid ‘mega. Is she actively trying to get herself killed? Everyone around her has died in the last few months, what makes her think she can survive on her own? Why the fuck couldn’t she just be a good fucking girl and obey me? I hated that I had to resort to this, I hated having to touch her again, and especially have her over my shoulder, where I could feel the smell of her hair as it fighted against the wind and she tried to punch my back.

I grunted as I deposited her on the copilot seat, immediately locking the door so she wouldn’t be able to run away. The boys took their places in the backseat while I made my way to the driver’s seat, and although Dean didn’t look all that happy to be confined back there, it couldn’t come close to the burning expression with which she regarded me.

“Don’t you look at me like that,” I growled. “You’re coming and that’s final.”

“You don’t want me! Why are you taking me with you?” She was nearly yelling by then, arms waving around like a lunatic, and I had to to grind my teeth together so I wouldn’t reach out and…

I don’t know what I wanted to do, to be honest. I just knew that my head was pounding and I could still fill the weight of her body over my shoulder, like her skin had burned the fabric of my shirt and imprinted the shape of her body on my soul.

“You must be really fucking stupid if you think I’m gonna leave you out there, all alone.” That, thank the lord, was enough to shut her up, but I figured out pretty soon that she didn’t need to open her mouth to find new ways to annoy me.

“Driver picks the music,” I warned, lightly slapping her hand when she reached for the radio, but the infuriating little thing only slapped mine back and changed the station anyway.

“Maybe on a road trip. If you don’t want this to be recognized as a kidnapping, it’s the least you can do.” God, she was infuriating. I clenched my hands on the wheel, mulling the words I wanted to say over my head and I still wasn’t able to stop the threat from spilling.

“I swear to God, I’m not above pulling over and spanking you until you’re not able to walk for a whole week.” The second her eyes met mine, I knew trouble was coming my way, and still I was unprepared when the next words fell from her lips.

“And you think that’s punishment?” I couldn’t help it, the question provoked me into thoughts I definitely did not want to be having about her, my ears burning up as I realized that she could very easily read my reactions to figure out what was going on through my head - especially since my eyes automatically trailed over her body.

“You know what? I changed my mind. Take me wherever you’d like.” And with that, she threw one leg over the other, a dangerous smile taking over her face. “I think you and I are gonna have a lot of fun together, John Winchester.”

#my series #john winchester angst #john winchester #angst #john winchester x reader #john winchester reader #john winchester reader insert #john winchester reader inserts #john winchester fanfiction #john winchester fan fic

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slutabed · 3 years

Note

for the happy asks! 3, 6, 11, 14, 16, 28 (if you want!), 30 (i hope this will be about bruce springsteen but feel free to make it about anything else)

LOL thank you already for indulging in my current bruce fixation ily <3

3. Whats your favorite part of your body? Unfortunate under-eye wrinkles aside, I like my eyes!

6. What youtube video or vine always makes you laugh without fail? Link it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AYv6rV3NXE An oldie but a goodie <3

11. Everybody is good at something. What are you good at? I’m pretty good at writing, and also music! I taught myself guitar when I was 12 and piano this summer. I’m not GREAT at either but I’m pretty good :)

14. Name the first ten things that make you happy right now. Don’t even think too hard about it just write whatever comes to mind first. The beach, sunny weather, iced coffee, going for nature walks, music, Dirty Dancing, fuzzy socks, curling my hair, going to bed early, talking to my friends :)

16. What song always makes you happy no matter what? Come On Eileen!!

28. Post a selfie of yourself that you think is hot fire and needs to be appreciated (because you are so damn good looking) I might edit this and add a selfie but we’ll see lol.

30. What are you a fuckin nerd about that you could talk about for forever? Feel free to do a lil rant here about how much you love said thing and why it’s awesome. Oh MAN I really can’t think of anything I’m a nerd about right now that is not Bruce Springsteen but basically YEAH just. The fact that he was just this kid from a working class family in a pretty average town in New Jersey and somehow built himself into this mythology, this larger-than-life figure that not only represents working class Jersey but also sort of personifies the lore and culture of the Jersey Shore, the way he memorializes and mythologizes Jersey landmarks and highways in a way that makes you go “that’s not really how it is lol” but at the same time when you’re on any of those roads and a bruce song comes on you can get absolute chills, the way his music is so grounded in the culture and geography of New Jersey while still signifying the idea of escape, the way it feels to be driving on the parkway singing songs like Born to Run and Thunder Road screaming out lines like “It’s a town full of losers, I’m pulling out of here to win.” The fact that he wrote “The River” about his sister and her boyfriend, how she got pregnant at 17 and “The River” is an ode to her and that relationship and the fact that she is still married to that boyfriend to this day. The fact that he used to play guitar on the boardwalk at Asbury Park and a fortune teller named Madame Marie told him he was going to make it big, and he figured she said that to all the musical acts, but he still memorializes her in one of his songs. The stark contrast of the aesthetic he puts forward of leather jackets and muscle cars and drag racing in the streets (when he couldn’t even drive until his twenties) and the reality of the sensitivity of his lyrics, the absolute poetry in lines like “There’s ghosts in the eyes of all the boys you sent away / They haunt this dusty beach road in the skeleton frames of burned-out Chevrolets” and “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true / or is it something worse?” and “Well now everything dies, baby that’s a fact / but maybe everything that dies someday comes back.” The story of how he met Clarence Clemons sounding like absolute American folklore and his complete conviction that Clarence was truly his soul mate and the love he had for him reverberating through each performance every time they shared a stage (and nothing better than the Christmas song in which he yells to Clarence “You been good & practicing real hard so Santa’ll bring you a new saxophone?”) I could write about this for hours I’m sorry I already wrote so much but there’s something about Bruce Springsteen that makes him almost folklore despite being perhaps the realest figure of all the celebs to ever come out of NJ.

WOW that got too long lol thank you for giving me the chance to do this <3

#asks #anonymous #bruce springsteen #I'm thinking particularly about the line 'sprung from cages on highway 9' as if you could race down route 9 #as if you're not getting stopped at red lights constantly esp in his area of the highwaylol

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nightashes · 5 years

Text

We’re Monsters. Isn’t It Fun? - Chapter 1

Masterlist - Next

A/N: This is for @stop-it-anxiety ‘s Fall Fic Contest. Prompt used was “Monster”. Figured October 1st would be the perfect time to post this!

Warnings: Spooky dark stuff in like an Addam’s Family the movies type way.

Summary: The dark sides love the scary things in life. They thrill in scaring each other. Deceit raised his kid sides, Remus and Virgil, to be proud of this. And then they met the light sides...

***

His prey in sight, he crept along. Crouched close to the ground. His lips pulled back in a snarl as he prepared to pounce. Launching onto the sitting figure, he roared loudly, “Be afraid! Be very Afraid!”

“Oh no! You got me!” Deceit dramatically bemoaned as he fell backwards onto the couch. Virgil landed softly on his chest, doing his best scary face as he hissed at his victim. Dee chuckled, smirking up at his son with fondness in his eyes. “Truly a terrifying monster.”

Virgil smiled triumphantly, “I scared you, Dad!”

A sound of rushing footsteps is heard as another figure sped wildly into the room. “Monster! Where’s a monster?” Remus shouted excitedly. He ran around the living room, looking for the fearsome beast.

Virgil stood up on top of Dee, causing the parental side to groan in pain. “I’m the monster! I’m the scariest thing in the mind palace!” He threw his hands into the air, causing lightning to flash behind him. “Hahahaha.” He attempted to top it off with his best impersonation of an evil laugh, which in reality was just a slightly deeper version of his normal laugh.

Dee scooped his son up, standing with a yell. “I’ve caught you!”

Remus ran to grab onto Dee’s legs, “I’m a monster too! Let my brother go, you hideous knight! Together we’ll roast you up and eat your entrails!” Remus attempted to gnaw on Deceit’s legs.

“Augh!” Deceit feigned pain. “You’ve killed me.” He collapsed to the ground still holding Virgil close to his chest. “What am I to do against two vicious beasts such as yourselves.”

“We won!” Remus shrieked happily. Virgil was clinging to Dee’s caplet after falling to the ground with him.

Remus grabbed onto Virgil’s arm. “Come on, V! Let’s go into the imagination and kill some knights!”

“I just want to scare them.” He mumbled as he crawled off of Deceit, following Remus out of the living room.

“Remus. Virgil. I know you two aren’t planning to go into the imagination without your weapons. Are you?”

“I got ‘em, Dad.” Remus whined. “It’s no fun without them.”

“We’ll be safe, Dad!” Virgil grinned happily.

Deceit eyed them skeptically. “I totally trust you brats. And I know that you guys are going to stay in the Dark Forest. Because if you don’t the light sides will find you, and make you take a bath.” He pointed at Remus, who shuddered at the thought. “And sing cherry songs.” He sneered at Virgil’s horror stricken face.

“Noooo!!” Remus cried loudly and ran off to his room.

Virgil jumped and scrambled after him. “Wait for me!”

Deceit laughed maniacally as he watched his kids scramble off towards the imagination.

***

“Mary, Mary, Quite contrary.

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells, and cockle shells,

And pretty maids all in a row.”

Remus swung his morning star in wide overarching circles singing loudly about bloody mary as Virgil crouched above him, watching from his perch in a tree. His grin was creeping ever wider as he eyed his brother, readying a leap of attack when…

“Are you sure about this, Roman?”

His ears perked up at the strange voice. “Remus, quiet!” He hissed out.

Remus cut off his singing, cocking an eyebrow up at his brother. “What’s up?”

“There’s people. They’re in our forest!” Virgil held tightly onto the tree as he leaned towards the direction of sound. His sharp hearing picked up another voice.

“It’s fine, Patt. I got a sword. Anything comes close and wham, bam!”

“Let’s kill ‘em.” Remus happily bounced below him.

Virgil nodded in thought. “We gotta scare ‘em off before Dad finds out.”

Virgil swung down from the tree landing softly beside his brother. And together the two dark sides ran through the forest, Virgil leading the way as they headed towards the sound of the intruders. Bounding past the shadowy inhabitants of the woods. Running past trees covered in cobwebs, caves with echoes that sounded eerily like wailing, and a stream that ran bright red.

The brothers slowed down as the strangers’ voices became clearer. They crouched down side by side, hidden behind bushes watching their prey enter their field of vision.

“They look like us.” Virgil whispered into Remus’ ear.

‘Light sides.’ Remus mouthed back. His eyes blown wide.

Virgil narrowed his eyes at the trespassers. How dare the light sides come into their domain. Nobody was going to make him sing happy songs. Although, perhaps Remus could use a bath.

Virgil gestured to Remus to go around. The foul side nodded knowingly and slunk away, keeping low to the ground. Virgil eyed the apparent light sides as he waited for Remus to get into position. There were two of them and they seemed to be the same age as Remus and Virgil. One dressed like a prince, how nice, was haphazardly brandishing a katana. The other must have been terrified already. He was jumping at every noise, wringing his hands and biting his lip as he spoke to his companion.

“Dad says we shouldn’t be here, Roman. Can’t we please go back. I’m scared,” He was visibly shaking.

“That’s silly! I am here so you have nothing to fear! We’re gonna defeat the evil of this forest and return as heroes!” This Roman stood proudly, his sword thrust high into the air. Virgil was confused. Heroes were the ones the monsters defeated. Why did he want to be a hero? It was much more fun to be a monster.

The leaves rustled in front of the pair. “Careful, Patton, it might be a scary monster.”

The signal. Remus was in position. Virgil launched himself into the open, he tackled the scared one, growling down at his face. “ScArY LiKe tHiS!” Virgil shouted. His voice doubling deeper and darker than it had ever gone before. Remus in the same instance came launching into view, swinging his morningstar straight at Roman’s face. The light side managed to duck away. Remus used his own demonic voice to screech at the top of his lungs. His eyes glowing red and the light bending around him.

“LeAvE nOw oR DIE. yOu’Re iN ThE pReSeNcE oF tHe DEMENTED.” Remus shrieked as he swung his morning star. Roman attempted to block it with his sword, but the morning star merely knocked it out of his hands.

Virgil was giddy. Remus had fantastic control over his voice and now Virgil was gaining his own. He smiled down at his prey, ready to boast of his achievement. But Patton was crying. Tears were streaming down his face as he looked at Virgil in utter terror. And suddenly, being scary seemed wrong. Bile rose in his throat. What had he done? He had made the light side cry? Being scary was fun but... this wasn’t fun. This was terrible. Scrambling off of Patton, and putting distance between them. He sat there on the ground, his mouth agape in silent apologies. Remus paused his rampage to watch in confusion.

“Virgil?” Remus spoke softly. His voice having returned to normal.

“I scared him.”

“Yeah. That’s what we do. Scaring is fun.”

“FUN!” Roman interrupted. Panting from his attempts to dodge Remus’ attacks. “You think this is fun? You guys are mean!” Roman’s previous bravito abandoned. His hands trembled, his body curled in on himself. “You guys are monsters!”

Patton sat up and Roman ran to hug him close. Patton said nothing. But his eyes remained locked on Virgil. And then the dam broke and he cried out. “Daddy!!” Roman buried his face into Patton’s shoulder and they hugged each other close. Remus came over to stand beside Virgil.

“I don’t get it. What did we do wrong?” He asked him. Virgil said nothing. Only silently stood beside his brother. Remus wrapped his arm around him. Trying his best to comfort his brother, despite not knowing the cause of his distress.

“Patton! Roman!” A voice shouted through the woods. Running footsteps thudded against the forest floor as a sprinting figure rushed towards the shaken group.

“Daddy!” Patton cried again. Roman looked hopeful as he watched the man come into view.

Remus grimaced. “Another intruder.”

The figure, another side, hesitated for only a second before crouching down by the crying light sides and wrapping them in his arms. “Shhh.. It’s okay. I’m here.”

Virgil shifted on his feet self-consciously. An adult light side. They were in real trouble now.

The man looked over at the two hesitant brothers. His gaze was like ice. “What happened here?”

“They scared us.” Patton cries.

“That monster tried to kill me, Dad!” Roman bellowed pointing at Remus.

“I’ll handle it.” The man spoke with care. Standing, he loomed over the child dark sides. His eyes locked onto Remus.

“Your weapon, now.” The man held out his hand.

“NO! Dad says we can’t be in the dark forest without ‘em.” Remus defended, gripping tight onto his beloved morning star.

“And where is Deceit? I would like to talk with him about your behavior today.” His voice rang with authority.

“We didn’t do anything! They’re just being babies.” Remus complained.

The man was not impressed. He peered down at them through his black spectacles. “You terrified them. You made Roman think you were going to kill him. I know you dark sides have a warped sense of fun, but when you torment my children that is crossing a line. A line you do not come back from. If you ever bother my children again… You will have to answer to me.”

“Dark sides?” Roman whispered, pulling back in shock.

“This is unfair! You are the ones that came into our forest!” Remus was growing increasingly agitated. He must really hate this new side. Virgil wasn’t particularly fond of him either. He was making him feel wrong. Was it bad to be a dark side?

“That is not a valid excuse for terror-”

“Daddy! I want to go home!” Patton broke through the shouting.

The light side straightened his shoulders. “I will be escorting my charges back now. I expect you two to return to your own commons. And I will be calling Deceit about your behavior here today.”

Virgil and Remus watched the light sides leave their forest. Remus shouting at their retreating backs to “Stay out of our forest!”

Virgil only turned away. Trudging back through the Dark Forest and towards Remus’s door.

Arriving home, Remus ran to the commons, excited to tell Dee all about their adventures. Virgil followed slowly behind only to stop short upon seeing Dee yelling into the phone. “Well. the brats shouldn’t have been in dark side territory… No! If they don’t want to be scared than they shouldn’t have been idiotic enough to go monster hunting in the Dark Forest!”

Monster hunting? Virgil thought. These light sides really thought that way about monsters.

“Oh please! You know we can’t get hurt. Let alone die!... It’s not my fault Roman doesn’t know that!” Dee was continuing. Remus shuffled up to his dad. Staring up at the man with a grin, bouncing on his toes as he waited for Deceit to be done.

Virgil didn’t want to wait. He just wanted to be alone. He sunk down to his room and landed softly onto his bed. Virgil grabbed his blanket and rolled across his mattress, enveloping his small form in a blanket burrito. Ending face down, he sighed into his pillow. What happened back there?

Deceit had always taught them to be proud of being a dark side. He read them spooky stories and was delighted when they played monster. It was always so much fun being a monster. But now, Virgil just felt sad. He didn’t know if he wanted to be a dark side anymore. He didn’t want to be bad. And the light sides were terrified of him. Did that make him bad?

He shifted to his side and curled his legs up to his chest. He closed his eyes to the world. Virgil had always been scary but he didn’t want to be bad. Was scary bad?

***

A soft knock awoke Virgil. He blinked tiredly, glancing around his room. When had he fallen asleep?

“Virgil.” Deceit’s voice called through the door.

“Dad?”

Deceit slipped into the room. Spying Virgil curled up on his bed, the fatherly side made his way over to sit beside him. Settling in place, Deceit sighed as he looked down at the young anxious side. He reached over and gently brushed Virgil’s hair back from his forehead. “How you doing, Spider?”

Virgil tucked his chin down, looking away from Deceit in answer.

“I’m sorry they yelled at you, bud.”

Virgil studied the stitch in his blanket.

“Remus told me your voice warped. That’s truly horrid news.” Deceit’s smile was evident in his words. But it only made Virgil angry.

“Horrid is bad, Dad! And not fun bad. It’s bad bad.” He huffed.

His father’s eyebrows knit together. “Did the light sides say that? Did they say you were bad?”

“They said we were mean. They said we were scary and Patton cried. We’re monsters. Monsters a- are ba-ad.” Virgil whispered into the dark of his room. His words choking at the end. He bit his lips and willed the tears not to come. He didn’t want to cry.

“Now that’s a blatant lie and I should know. There are plenty of good monsters. I know you know this. Just look at the Yeti. And what about Arabella?” Deceit spoke, pointing to Virgil’s pet spider nestled happily in her terrarium.

“What about her?”

“Well, spiders scare a lot of people because they look different. But that doesn’t make them bad does it?”

“No… Arabella is a good spider.”

“And you are a good side. If you ever doubt that I want you to think about Arabella and then I want you to come find me. I’ll always be there for you, my spider.”

#janus sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #sanders sides #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #sympathetic dark sides #mama bear logan #mama bear deceit #dad!logan #dad!deceit #ts fanfic #fanfic #my writing #sanders sides fic

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ofmerrit · 3 years

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* ◜ kristine froseth , cis woman & she/her ◞ * according to school records , that’s merrit antonietta unn hornsby walking on campus grounds with their usual iced-americano from the ancient grounds cafe . they’re known for their long , dark blonde locks outshining their surprisingly tall figure and are often spotted at the versailles garden reading wild geese by mary oliver . almost everyone knows their family is worth like 1.2 billion dollars , so we suspect they’re a member of olympus , you know , the one for old money . do you know where they were the night that the scholarship student died ? they claim they were touring around the campus for inspiration , must be an architecture major thing , right . and hey , don’t you agree that the sophomore reminds you of muffled screams into silk pillows , the bellyache you get after doing something wrong & vacant smiles ? you better watch out h e s t i a before something dangerous happens to you and life ends at twenty-two . * ◜ barb , twenty-two , gmt +3 & she / her ◞ *

alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.

starting w the boring statistics : full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc. code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity. star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising. sexuality: bisexual. favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver , an anthology . “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”

merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more.

the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.

life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.

doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao

she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps. kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf

personality stuff !!!

uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me

can’t say no <3 if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .

the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip

LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth .

an overachiever . doesn’t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??

loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .

extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3

likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.

i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk

has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip

!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it

safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ???

UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !

connection ideas !!!

childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk

penpals - seriously ??? i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.

a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.

betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )

exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .

bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk

saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step

a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .

a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know.

ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward

these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that

something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.

give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl

#hqcruel.intro #oke im bit late .. or early idk asdhfkls #no proof reading <3 if u spot stuff .#baby im nt even here . im a hallucination #sdghjfk .. so bad . le shité . i did this . for what ??#tw kidnapping #tw death #intro.

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