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read-and-write- · 3 months

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Get to know me, double edition

Two tag games running around at the same time so I'm copying some people and doing both at the same time, and for the people who tagged me in one, this is your tag for the other.

Thanks to @myheartalivewrites @happiness-of-the-pursuit @littlemisskittentoes @heybuddy-drabbles @suseagull04 @14carrotghoul for tagging me in this! I finally did it!

There's two versions of this so this is a double tag game, reduce, reuse, recycle and all that, answers under the cut

First Set

Last song: María La Curandera - Natalia Lafourcade

Last film: I can't remember which basically tells you everything you need to know about how many movies I actually watch

Currently reading: Gideon the Ninth bt Tamsyn Muir, and I'm rereading Loveless by Alice Oseman because I want to anotate the physical book that i got half a year ago

Currently watching: Interview with the Vampire, I'm in episode 6 and seriously considering just putting all my tbr aside to read the novel

Currently consuming: Chocolate Ice Cream and a cheese sandwich (✨girl dinner✨)

Currently craving: This specific fries with pulled pork and cream cheese and BBQ sauce from this specific place that are bomb every single time.

Next Set

1. Were you named after anyone?

My great-grandfather, Manuel

2. When was the last time you cried?

On friday my cat needed to get surgery done, needless to say I cried more than once during that day.

3. Do you have kids?

i am just a baby (no)

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I did Artistic Roller Skating for a long time, branched out to Figure Skating for like two months but tropical country couldn't keep up and went back to my roots until around two years ago when I started having Adult Schedules for Work. I have also done Gymnastics.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes, and also suffer the "everything I say sounds serious" sindrome

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Hair generally, if we are speaking in Spanish, accent.

7. What’s your eye color?

Brown that leans to black.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, I am a coward and proud.

9. Any talents?

I am very good at knowing things, I am a fun fact girlie, if you have a random question ask me because 8 times out of 10 I have the answer, if I don't just give me 2 minutes and I'll have it.

And I also sing.

10. Where were you born?

Medellín ✨en la playa con la oriental✨ if this means something to you seamos amiguitos

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, singing, spending my money in silly little gadgets, walking around a mall just looking (o lolear, my mom would call it)

12. Do you have any pets?

My soulmate, best friend and child, a cat named Iglesia.

13. How tall are you?

1,56m or for my american friends 5'1

14. Favorite subject in school?

English, Spanish, Art and Philosohpy, long ago the four nations lived together in harmony-

I was indeed a humanities nerd.

15. Dream job?

Right now? mantenida, now if I had to chose and ignore if it's possible or not I'd love to work in the production crew of Doctor Who or any other big fiction TV Show, turning your hyperfixations into profit and all that.

OKAY now tagging some people, no pressure y'all, if you have already done it I apologize @raysletters @ssmtskw @rmd-writes @gayrootvegetable @gay-flyboys @firenati0n @anincompletelist

#tag game #guess how long this has been sitting on my drafts #too long

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irkimatsu · 7 days

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I don't know if this question has already been asked so I apologize in advance for the inconvenience! how did you find out about Hazbin hotel? and what charmed you about husky ? :3

Nope, hasn't been asked before! There's actually a long process on this one! Story time!

First time I heard about Hazbin Hotel was when the pilot came out; Twitter was buzzing about it, and that already might have drawn me in, because "dark musical comedy with fantasy elements and themes of forgiveness and redemption" is already right up my alley and I could feel the Jhonen Vasquez inspiration radiating off the character designs. But what really tipped me off was a friend of mine, Lauri; she was particularly excited about it, and I trust her taste, so I jumped in. (Helps that her favorite is Alastor, who reminds me a lot of another character we bonded over back in the day. Seems we have a "she likes a sadistic bastard and I like the guy held emotionally captive by him" thing going on.) And I loved it! Wasn't super invested just yet, but I did really hope it'd be a full series someday. Don't think I really noticed Husk at this point. I was still deep in Osomatsu-san brainrot, so if anything I probably just went "haha cranky cat, it's like Ichimatsu" and then moved on from him. Favorite at this point was actually Charlie, and she's still a close second. Loved and wanted more of Charlie from day one. She has such magical girl vibes, I love her

Helluva Boss pilot dropped, what, a month later? Watched that because I liked Hazbin and holy shit is that Richard Horvitz. Richard Horvitz said fuck. Okay clearly I need to keep up with this one. And so I did! Avoided its presence on the Internet like the plague, though, because it's a fucking dumpster fire in there and I didn't feel like writing multiple well-sourced essays defending myself for liking a web cartoon that says fuck and makes jokes about murder. Watched it in secret, basically, aside from the occasional fanart reblog. It wasn't a hyperfixation yet, just a fun thing to watch every time a new episode dropped. Catchy music, Moxxie and Blitzo are my boys, it's a fun little side hobby, hey what if the Matsuno brothers started an assassination business in hell-

(Somewhere in here I watched "The Good Place" from start to finish, which isn't super relevant, just that the reason I started watching it was because I thought, hey, isn't that show about redeeming sinners? That's what Hazbin's about! I think I really like that concept, so I'll check it out! Two very different shows, but they're both dear to me because god I need forgiveness narratives, especially in today's social hellscape.)

2024, and I find out that the Hazbin series is finally out because Twitter won't shut the fuck up about how "Poison" is homophobic and victim-blaming or whatever. My main thought is, of course, "oh shit, that's finally out! time to watch it!", not believing any of the criticisms because I already decided years ago that the Internet is fucking stupid about this franchise. First four episodes were up at this point. Watched it fully expecting to enjoy it, but not really expecting to get too invested, still assuming I'll never talk about it online because I just do not need to deal with that shit. Still love Charlie, and the rest of the cast charms me quickly - especially Husk, because in the main series he quickly proves to have more to him here than the pilot let on. Hazbin really said, here, have a scrungy old cat with emotional trauma. I gobbled that shit up immediately.

And then " Loser, Baby" happened. Husk's dancing. Husk's singing voice. Husk's attitude of "yep, shit sucks, we screwed up, there's no use denying it or downplaying it but we're not getting anywhere if we wallow alone in our own misery", that theme of redemption and hope I wanted from this show from the start, here he was exemplifying it. I watched that scene on YouTube constantly, fully expecting to fall in love with Huskerdust. I did, for about five minutes.

And then I realized, fuck, I'm not actually in love with this ship, I'm in love with Husk. So much so that despite my misgivings, I couldn't just keep my mouth shut about how much I love this show, especially how much I love Husk. But no way in hell am I saying that on Twitter, people suck over there, and besides, the character limit isn't enough for all the rambling I wanted to do. So I dusted off my Tumblr blog and quickly became unhinged.

And now I'm here!

#irk blubbers about nothing #irk got asked a thing #irk talks to strangers #irk huskposts

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overlyimmersed · 7 months

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So, about my AU... Lets do this a little differently this time...

So, in light of having to rewrite my entire AU almost from scratch, I've decided I'll post parts of the timeline in chunks by season of the show as I get them rewritten. Maybe that'll make it a little more digestible over all, though it'll still be compiled on timeline page, of course.

So I guess I should probably talk a little bit about this AU, actually. I haven't really said much. That's kinda just how things have always been before. I just kind of toss the information into the void and hope someone finds it. But this fandom, this community, it's different. There's a lot more...talking, then other fandoms I've been in. So lets talk.

I suppose we'll start with the name? Some of you may have seen me use it a few times. Years ago I got into the habit of using alphanumeric designations for my AUs, mainly as shorthand to help me keep track of the media the au is from, how it's altered from canon and what year I started it in, to help me keep track of time. Though this AU lacks the dating component...which was not a great idea on my part... that's a flaw that came about form my previous hyperfixation. I created too many AUs for that one, which I usually don't, so I started using a symbol system as a subcategory and it fricked the whole system...

ANYWAY

This AU is designated "SDS-RBF-215*" SDS = Seven Deadly Sins, RBF = Reborn Fairy, and 215 is my numeric signature. The asterisk is from the symbol system mentioned above. Which is technically necessary, as I do have off-shoot AUs from this primary one. But those are private cuz they're dumb...

So I suppose if this AU were going to have a title rather than a designation it would be "Reborn Fairy".

It's called that because the POV character, a self-insert OC, is reincarnated from another universe.

And on that note I'd like the record to show that I made this choice before I knew about Elizabeth. Reincarnation is one of my most used tropes. I'd also like to mention that I didn't know the word "isekai" until very recently...

So besides this new MC, what exactly is different between this AU and canon?

Well, not including the story consequences of the MC's existence, I did add some lore and stuff. Primarily the concept of "The Bard to the Fairy King"

Each Fairy King has had a bard alongside him to serve as a history keeper, moral guide, and any other role the Fairy King requires. These bards are always born in the Fairy King's Forest, rather than in the Fairy Realm proper like other fairies. The primary mission of The Bard to The Fairy King- or Fairy King’s Bard, sometimes shortened to just Fairy Bard- is to keep the history of the Fairy Race. They write books, tell stories, sing songs and create works of art keeping track of history as it passes. Like how each Fairy King has the magical ability “Disaster”, Fairy Bards always have “Starlight” giving them a flawless memory and the ability to generate and manipulate silvery light. It's primarily used to project records of memories, though it can be used offensively if needed. They also share a single special technique that’s passed from one to the next, a song called “Song of the Fairy King” which will increase the Fairy King’s power in an act of desperation. It can also be used to save the Fairy King’s life if need be. The use of this spell expends the Bard’s life force, and thus can only be used once. So the Bard must act wisely. As time went on and more unfortunate events tarnished Fairy history, the Bards became more and more high strung and anxious, plagued by their perfect recall of tragic and violent events. Fairy Bards Morvydd - The Bard to Fairy King Gloxinia. Primarily a poet. She, and her twin brother Owain, were killed in the raid on Stigma headquarters during the first Holy War. Camellia - The Bard to Fairy King Dahlia. Primarily a dancer. When Dahlia disappeared, Camellia went with him, at some point she used “Song of the Fairy King” to save Dahlia’s life. Maranwe - The Bard to Fairy King Harlequin. Primarily a harpist. A very unusual fairy with a complicated history. She left with a group of other fairies to meet with humans and was thought dead for 700 years before she, along with her missing Fairy King, returned just before the second Holy War.

I've also applied my various headcanons, of course. Which can be read here. I'm not going to list them on this post cuz I don't want to have keep more than one post updated everytime I add a headcanon. The one linked will always be kept up-to-date.

#seven deadly sins #nanatsu no taizai #7ds #nnt #seven deadly sins AU #nanatsu no taizai AU #7ds au #nnt au #7ds fairy #nnt fairy #seven deadly sins OC #nanatsu no taizai OC #7ds oc #nnt oc #SDS-RBF-215*#Reborn Fairy AU

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wri0thesley · 3 years

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nat, are you alright? you’re always active. i worry about you sometimes.

i am regularly active! i don't sleep very much and i'm a full-time carer for my fiancee who has several health conditions that means she sleeps a lot, so i spend a lot of time on the pc in the same room as her in case she needs anything!

when i first started this blog i was online ALL OF THE TIME. i was agoraphobic and severely socially anxious; this blog was rlly the only place i had to interact with people! now i can even go outside on my own (to my singing lessons and stuff! i can go in shops alone! i picked up a prescription on my own just a few days ago!) and i live in my own house away from my parents and i take care of chores i NEVER thought i'd be able to do (i do the cooking! this time last year i was having occupational therapy bc my ocd meant i couldn't so much as turn on a kettle!). so i am alright! i am much more alright than i have been in the past, i just hyperfixate on things bc autism and my brain moves at a HUNDRED MILES A MINUTE so i make a lot of posts!

it's very sweet that you care about me though!!! i actually have been feeling like i'm not around much atm because i'm scatterbrained from looking after haz after her operation and i'm also spending a lot of time on a different blog for a different hyperfixation (and i'm doing a lot of stuff with original characters and trying to draw more!). but yes pls rest assured anon that i am very alright! <3

#nat.txt

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adhd-disaster-willie · 3 years

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March 16th

ok so maybe I hyperfixated on writing this and maybe it's 2:30 am but like, whatever.

summary: "Bobby used to like birthdays. But now birthdays taste less of spring and vanilla and more of salty tears and an aching emptiness in his chest"

word count: 1,388

warnings: allusions to death (take a wild guess as to whose)

---

Bobby was born on a March evening that was just too cold to be so close to spring. He was never too full of energy, preferred to curl up in the corner with a poetry book thicker than the fluffy vanilla cake his grandma would make for his birthday every year. He’d stand on his tip toes to see the top of the counter, sneaking bits of half mixed cake batter and listening intently as his grandma explained the baking process in words that were too big for him to comprehend. But the cake always tasted like spring evenings and lemon frosting and laughter as Luke tackled him to the ground in what he called the “birthday hug” that was probably closer to a wrestling match. The night always smelled of wrapping paper and Reggie’s weird lotion and the oatmeal raisin cookies Alex’s mother always insist he bring but nobody would eat. Birthday’s were good, Bobby liked birthdays.

“Robert, your friends are here!” His gran peeked into Bobby’s room with a crinkly smile and a flour-dusted apron; the faded yellow one she never seemed to take off.

Bobby didn’t even have time to shut his book before Luke came bounding into his room, shrieking something that sounded like “you’re a teenager, dude!” but could’ve been just about anything else, as it was said with his face buried in Bobby’s t-shirt. Alex came trailing in after him, scowling at the plate of cookies in his hands while Reggie bounced up beside him, hastily wrapped gift clutched to his chest.

“My mom put extra raisins in this year,” Alex grumbled apologetically.

Reggie peeked over his shoulder at the platter and wrinkled his nose. “Dude, I think she’s trying to poison us.”

“Wouldn’t put it past her,” Bobby quipped, shoving Luke off of him and hopping up. His gran swatted him over the head sternly but Alex only shrugged, pointedly not defending his mother. Mrs. Mercer was utterly terrifying for her stature, Alex got his height from his dad, but his mom was probably comparable to a bolt of lightning.

Like always, the boys were ushered out to the backyard with promises that cake would be ready by 5 and dinner by 6. Bobby got to eat dessert first on his birthday only, though he’d certainly tried changing that rule a number of times.

There was a slightly wobbly treehouse wedged in between the branches of the tree in Bobby’s backyard, it’d been built the previous summer, mostly by Alex and Reggie while he and Luke all but drowned each other in the above ground pool tucked into the corner of the yard. But he did make the door, so he thinks he deserves some credit

Reggie bounded up the swinging ladder, yelping when he almost lost his footing. He stuck his head out the window, pouting like a wounded puppy until the others came tumbling in after him in a tangle of limbs and shouts of “you did not win, you’re slower than Millie’s turtle” and “Did too! Right Lexi?” Alex informed them that his sister’s turtle was actually faster than the both of them and that he won, which couldn’t really be argued considering Alex had always been the fastest runner.

Bobby’s 13th birthday was dusted with the beginnings of spring and a certain feeling of home. Reggie gave him that one stuffed penguin he’d been eyeing for weeks, stumbling over his apologies of “sorry it’s so small, my parents forgot to take me shop-” Bobby had thrown an arm around his shoulder, ruffling his hair and telling him to shut up because the gift was perfect.

Alex handed him a neatly wrapped box complete with a bright red bow; a stack of books and the tattered t shirt Bobby kept stealing from him. Luke emptied his pockets to reveal about 50 different guitar picks and a leather-bound journal already full of movie ticket stubs and hurriedly written poems that Bobby would probably never be able to decipher.

Birthdays were good. Birthdays were sitting in the tree house past dark despite it being a school night. Birthdays were Reggie forcing him to wear a pointy party hat, and Luke smearing frosting across his face well aware it’d end in disaster, and Alex making up a horrendous rendition of the happy birthday song and proceeding to sing it like he’d just written a masterpiece akin to Bohemian Rhapsody. Bobby liked birthdays. For a while.

---

The treehouse wilted the summer before junior year, boards worn from years of harsh sunshine and thunderstorms. Bobby’s 17th birthday wasn’t… it wasn’t bad per se; but it’s bittersweet. It’s bittersweet in the way Luke scratches his neck apologetically and says that he couldn’t scrounge up enough money for a gift, like that’s what matters. It doesn’t. It’s bittersweet because Reggie, Luke, and Alex didn’t have to be driven to Bobby’s house. They woke up tangled together on the flimsy mattress in the loft and spent the morning practicing a bit too passionately with a few too many tears.

Bobby’s 17th birthday tasted of tight hugs and mint ice cream that dripped down his hands, held out to the sky because Luke kept threatening to lick them. It smelled of old pennies and the garbage cans Alex reluctantly used as drums as they played out on the pier in hopes to earn some petty cash.

“I bet we’ll be living in a mansion on your 18th birthday,” Reggie said, swinging his legs and splashing at the water. They were sitting on the edge of the pier, instruments off to the side and hands sticky with ice cream.

“If the Orpheum works out, we will,” Alex replied with a grin, bumping his shoulders with Bobby’s.

Bobby tilted his head in consideration. “Maybe we’ll get a giant house up in Malibu.”

“It’s not about the money,” Luke grumbled. Although considering the whole living in Bobby’s garage thing, Bobby thinks Luke should start thinking about the money.

“You’re absolutely right.” Alex sighed dramatically. “It’s about the music.” He clutched Luke’s shoulder and nodded sarcastically.

“The connections,” Bobby chimed in with a woeful nod. “The audience.”

Luke kicked his ankle and Bobby snickered. “No kicking the birthday boy,” he cried with mock offense.

“Kicking the birthday boy is like stealing candy from a baby,” Reggie said mournfully.

“That’s not how that… okay.” Alex exhaled in defeat, something Bobby calls his ‘Reggie sigh.’

They stayed out on the pier until the sun tucked itself behind the ocean and they tossed their instruments over their shoulders, walking back to the studio and singing happy birthday to the sparkling sky, steps bouncier than they had been in the morning. So, Bobby’s 17th birthday was bittersweet with the taste of music and hope and a desperate beginning.

---

Bobby spends his 18th birthday alone, staring down at the rug and hugging his own shoulders, desperately wishing he didn’t have to, because they were always so affectionate so he shouldn’t have to hold himself.

The studio is far too cold for and much too empty. A sharp breeze whistles through the crack in the door, brushing at the pages of Lukes still-open songwriting book. Bobby reaches to smooth them out, because maybe if he leaves everything how it’d been that night 7 months ago, he can pretend they’re just inside chattering over his gran’s spaghetti and debating lyrics. And he’ll go inside and join them and Luke will toss an arm over his shoulder and Alex will remind him to drink some water, he probably hasn’t today, and Reggie will tell him that “your grandma is so much cooler than you, Bobbers.”

But the lights are shut off and his dinner is cold and untouched and he can’t bring himself to even light the candle on the thick slice of cake on the table. Because he can close his eyes and wish with his entire soul but nothing will bring them back.

Bobby used to like birthdays. But now birthdays taste less of spring and vanilla and more of salty tears and an aching emptiness in his chest. He falls asleep on Luke’s couch, practically swimming in Alex’s blue sweatshirt, the shabby stuffed penguin clutched to his chest like a lifeline. He falls asleep to a quiet studio and birthday that feels like numbness and longing.

---

@sunset-bobby@azzieisthebestcat

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #bobby wilson #bobby jatp #trevor wilson #alex mercer #luke patterson #reggie peters #sunset curve #willow writes #jatp fic

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firefly464 · 3 years

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Searching

hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng i did it again guys please im just aoierfhdaij im hyperfixating please help me

yes i did continue the Your Name!AU because it makes me so so so happy and i just oawiehfdal god i love it so much

SPOILERS FOR YOUR NAME BELLOW

~~~

Niki ran a hand through her hair as she once more refreshed her google search. There had to be something, anything. Someone couldn't just disappear off the face of the earth.

It had been over a month since her and Wilbur had last swapped places, and she had started getting worried. She couldn’t help the fear that was starting to grow in the pit of her stomach. Fear that she was never going to see her second family ever again. That they were gone forever.

She had tried to contact him any way she could, but calls never went through, and her texts were always blocked. She had nothing to work off of. The only reference she had were several voice recordings that he had left on her phone.

Some of the recordings were nothing more than journal entries describing his day, something that they both had agreed on doing early on. Others were random stories about his brothers, or from when he was younger. There were even some that were nothing more than kind messages, telling her to have a good day, or wishing her luck on an upcoming test.

Her favorite recordings however, were the ones where he would play the guitar and sing. There was something comforting about hearing her own voice play back to her, filled with confidence and strength as he played her old guitar. Sometimes, if she was having trouble falling asleep, she would listen to them.

Now though, they were her only lead to finding Wilbur.

The sound of a text made her jump slightly, the sudden noise cutting through the vast silence. Glancing down at her phone, a bright grin spread across her face.

The text was from her best friend, Minx. It was short and simple, straight to the point. She had asked her best friend for help finding Wilbur nearly a week ago, but she hadn’t expected any results.

I think I found something.

Seriously?? What's the link?

I think I should show you this in person. I’m coming over.

She frowned slightly. What was so important that it required Minx to show her in person? Not that she really minded an excuse to see her best friend, but it was still confusing.

~~~

Ten minutes later, Niki threw open the front door to her latest foster home, practically dragging Minx inside. She didn’t even give her friend a chance to settle in or get herself situated before she turned, staring expectantly.

“Well? What did you find?” She demanded. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew she was being rude, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She wanted to see her family again, and the look in Minx’s face was only making her more anxious.

Taking a deep breath, Minx set her computer down on the desk. She began opening it, but stopped herself. She turned towards Niki. “Tell me again what this guys name is?”

“Wilbur Pandel, why?”

“Look…” She was clearly stalling. “I- I posted some of the videos you sent me online like you asked and… Someone recognized them.”

“Really?! That's great! What did they say?”

“They sent me the link to a news article.” Slowly, she opened the laptop. “Just a warning, it's not pretty.”

Niki grabbed the computer without hesitation, already reading the tab that Minx had open. The first thing that she noticed as she skimmed through the title was the name of the town. Her heart soared.

“That's it! That's the town! Oh my god that’s it, that’s where he’s from!” she had already put down Minx’s computer and pulled out her own, checking her bank account and clearing her schedule.

“Niki, Niki!” Minx called out. “Did you even fuckin read the rest of the title? That town is gone. It was destroyed years ago.”

#guys please #i love this movie #im actually hyperfixating please help me #but also im having so much fnu #so for context #wilbur was a decently well known musician in his area #and niki is a foster child #Nihachu #Wilbur Soot #minx #kimi no na wa #your name #your name au #my writing #NMTBV

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aeipathic · 3 years

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@asunas-embers says: 18, 24, 30!

meme || accepting

18. What’s the one thing you want to try the most on your blog?

i....have no idea dsfhgfds. i made this blog with two goals, which was 1) to get back to playing some of my old muses that i missed, and b) to try out the mdzs characters i’d been itching to play. the second was a resounding success, lol, and now most of what i post is c-drama related. the first kind of got eclipsed by the second, so i guess it’d be nice to have more engagement with some of my less-used fandoms? but tbh that’s entirely a me problem, lmao, for hyperfixating hard on c-dramas and having less muse for everyone else. but i’m slowly working on following more blogs from other fandoms! and that’s not even necessarily the thing i want the most from this blog, i just don’t have a better answer lol

(if i were smart i’d have two multimuse blogs, one for my c-drama babies and one for everyone else, but i know better than to think i could keep up with more than one, so y’all just have to deal with the mess that is this one.)

24. Where do you draw your inspiration from?

i mean tbh the best way to get me excited about writing and ready to write is just. talking to people about our plots and characters! my best ideas come from collaborating with friends and tossing thoughts back and forth, and it gets me motivated to write. but beyond that, reading or watching something that moves me emotionally is a great way to get me itching to write; i’ll sometimes pause in the middle of a movie or put down a book so that i can grab my laptop and start writing something when The Mood Hits

30. Other than roleplaying, what’s your favorite hobby?

dnd! which.....is. also roleplaying. actually. but shut up i’m saying it anyway because i don’t have any other hobbies fhdfggfs. i started playing about three years ago and have been in the same campaign for nearly that long (we’re close to endgame!), and like, i’ve written graduate-level papers about dnd, i wrote my goddamn thesis on tabletop rpgs, so you could say i’m a little bit into it

i could list singing here as well i guess? but i haven’t been involved in any musical groups for a few years now, so it’s become more of a casual hobby though i’d like to join a choir again now that restrictions are easing up

my partner also demands i say that my hobby is spending time with him and watching anime together, which is very true

#; answered.#; out.#asunas-embers

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og-danny-dorito · 4 years

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Bucky Barnes SFW Headcanons

a new hyperfixation to avoid my growing anxiety with my personal life? yall already know whats up, and i'm feeling angsty so brace yourself

PUBLISHED : 2 - 17 - 20

S F W :

- to start off of a positive and happy note (jk you already know thats not how it works) its very likely that upon first meeting, any touch directed towards him is met with an alarmed grunt and/or a slap of your hand away

- anything unsolicited makes him nervous and uncomfortable, so if you really do want to pat his shoulder or hug him or something like that you'd have to ask if it's okay first. now it's pretty easy to see the reasoning behind this but for those doubting it i will explain

- big man has been trained to kill in hand to hand combat and advanced weaponry and countless other things, meaning that he's pretty much wired by this point to have a gut reaction that automatically goes to the fight or flight instinct. it doesn't make logical sense that he wouldn't get uncomfortable and jumpy at loud noises and unsolicited touching since his ptsd has accumulated over the years to MAKE him react like that. he doesn't want to accidentally punch you in the teeth

- like yeah he's all tough and shit and could break the a dude’s neck if he really tried, but the issue is that once his walls are broken down he's sort of akin to that of a regulated killing machine having to redo its wiring to be “normal” again. the transition itself would be traumatic, but the process of initiating it would be even more difficult

- so that means that in the first few months of his recovery, he probably would do a lot of absent-minded staring and just long spells of silence where he just doesn't do anything. it's sort of like a reloading point for his brain, and he starts to pick up the habit of daydreaming a lot. sometimes you'll have to say his name a few times to snap him out of it, but when he does come to he looks a little embarrassed

- it's not that easy to elicit an emotional reaction out of him. you'd have to be fairly close with him to actually get most responses out of him that are more than a word long, and so thus starts my favorite trope; hard depressed kill man falls for person who just Keeps Trying

- it's not that easy to get under his skin, but meeting him somewhere normally and constantly talking to him will probably start to make him feel more encouraged to speak in the sense of making normal conversation

- he's a little awkward so in this case patience goes a long way (as does with pretty much everything with him). it gets to the point where after a month or so he may feel weird if he doesn't talk to you at that specific time of the day. if he's grown that fond of you he'll even go out of his way to ask a few people where you are

- part of him hates getting this attached for a number of reasons. there's that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that his environment is temporary and getting attached to the things and people there will hurt him more than he'd like. while he knows that it's not temporary, that he's not leaving anytime soon and probably won't for a while, it all goes back to the killing machine thing

- when he was under hydra’s control, the only thing that was certain was the base he resided in and it's hard to come out of a state of mind where the only thing you know to be continuous is your continued existence as a tool. the place itself brings back horrible memories, but you get what i mean

- so initially he may resist conversation for that very reason

- he tends to pick up on details more than anything, and most of your smaller traits tend to make him quickly used to you. like for instance, if you're prone to pursuing your lips and narrowing your eyes at something odd you've heard or seen, he might find it cute mentally and then immediately correct himself for it. if you tend to snort a little and roll your eyes when you laugh, he's going to notice that and MAYBE try to pay more attention when something funny is said to hear it again

- i would generally think that he doesn't really have much a type or preference at all. in fact, i'm pretty sure the only thing he seemed consciously aware of that he likes in a partner is ability to understand. cause if you can't forgive him for the things he's done and see why he does what he does now, he can't bring himself to feel like he needs to go through all of his self hatred and doubt more intensely than he already is

- he probably is asexual as well but that's sort of iffy considering he's canon been in sexual relationships so that's a maybe. but he's definitely demiromantic. it's not that easy for him to find people attractive anymore. when he starts to get to know you better he starts feeling some sort of way and picking up on MORE details that you may not even notice yourself

- bucky is also incredibly skilled at remembering things you might've said a month ago and completely forgot about. some find this off putting and that's understandable, but when it comes down to it, its a product of sorta okay memory

- “My cousin almost flipped his car over this week.”

- “Phillipe?”

- “Uh, yeah. How did you...?”

- “You mentioned him two weeks ago... when he almost fell of your roof the week before.”

- “I did?”

- remembers dates, names, eye colors, and a multitude of other things, so sometimes he'll just mention something important you may have forgotten and pretend like he definitely wasn't paying too much attention to you. it's surprising how good his memory is even though he can't remember any of his past. so this most likely means that he has issues with remembering events and how they happened, but not the details of them. like how you can remember your shirt color a few week s back but not what you did while wearing that shirt

- and on that note, he kinda shuts down if he gets a weird flashback in the middle of something. they're mostly triggered by smells and sounds, but sometimes if he sees something while he's walking down the street he'll just stop and stare at it. it's best just to stop and stare at it with him, or alternatively if you don't want stares, act like you're taking a picture. but don't talk to him while it's happening cause it'll interrupt the train of thought and derail him completely

- he tends to talk a lot about things if he's grown very invested in them (he's very good at keeping focus). if you're out walking together or just sitting down he might stare and absentmindedly reach out to touch you before stopping himself at the last minute. gently grabbing his hand and placing it wherever he wanted to touch makes him flustered every time. that and hes super soft but is afraid to be vulnerable around anyone

- just gently grabbing his hand makes him all mushy, and it’s more often than not that he finds himself weak when someone shows pretty much any form of affection or endearment towards him

- probably not into pda though, not that much. he will hold your hand if you want to, but don’t expect to like sit in his lap or like straight upstart kissing in public cause any attention in a public setting makes him nervous

- really likes a kind of homey s/o. someone who likes to cook or bake or whatever makes him feel a little bit like he doesn't have to worry about something for a while. like if he comes home and dinner is just waiting on the table for him or you’ve already drawn a bath for him and/or made the bed or whatever, he literally appreciates that above pretty much anything else

- love language is most likely acts of service. hes not very good with words unless he like thinks it out beforehand, but pretty much buys you gifts all the time because he likes seeing you light up when you see them. he does try to spend as much time as he can with you but either anxiety gets the best of him or hes literally too busy, and so it ends up being more distant with him coming over a few times during the week, even if you live together. and we already know the deal with physical touch so im not gonna restate my strong belief in “big man has trauma no touch big man unless A S K”

- but a lot of the things he does are situational. one day he may be very down to be super affectionate and the other he’ll be painfully distant, but the main issue with all of it is that hes very very bad at communication

- this poses an issue for a number of reasons, but his responses and reactions are more physical than anything. so for instance, if hes uncomfortable with something he’ll start to shift and stare and be very tense the whole time it’s occurring, or if he’s feeling a bit more sad or depressed he’ll isolate himself and consistently stand slouched or look as if he hasn't gotten enough sleep. it’s mostly body language, but after a while he’ll feel safe enough to tell you how he feels about certain things

- this takes a while to actually happen, but when it does he manages to just,,, say things that are on his mind. like you’ll be reading or scrolling through your phone or whatever and he’ll randomly be like “The table has a lot of scratches on it.” it’s just observations he has, but usually it translates to him wanting to change the stated fact. best thing to do is just to roll with it, since hes practically learning how to communicate again and he’s picking up on things socially

- now let's get to the “a little fluffy” and “kinda-already-known” shit, shall we?

- miscellaneous headcanons;

gets jealous pretty easily in the early stages of your relationship, but only ever indicates this by staring the person in question down and refusing to admit to it later

likes having his hair put up into cool hairstyles and likes colored rubber bands (or hair ties if youre not where i'm from). seriously, he may loose his shit if you just like put cool braids in his hair one day like hes a viking or whatever

kind of tone deaf but his singing is more of like this raspy and slightly more “Misty Mountains” vocals sounding

is touch sensitive, so even doing something as small as like rubbing your thumb on his arm makes his hair raise on end

doesn't like his metal arm at all and quite obviously wears long sleeves all the time to hide it, but occasionally wears short sleeves when he's feeling less insecure

oh, super insecure btw and THATS why he feels all mushy when someone is kind to him because he KNOWS he's a freak and that he's weird but you're not still being sweet??? too pure, must protect

gives great hugs since he practically smothers anyone he meets with them, but is also basically a walking heater

is terrified of the idea of taking care of children or just anything weaker than him, but is good with them since they always hang on his arms and hold his legs when he walks

super strong

likes sweets a whole lot, specifically fruity sweets like apple pie or peach cobbler. never bring those wallmart cakes or whatever near him cause it'll be gone in like an hour flat unless you tell him to leave you some

- in conclusion, he needs therapy and probably won't be very responsive when he's not sure what to do. it doesn't mean he loves you any less, but he may have a hard time communicating it to you. all he really needs is some patience and a bit of understanding, and he'll get better with the whole s/o thing soon enough. cause you mean the world to him, and he doesn't want anyone or anything to make you feel like less than that

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desdemonafictional · 3 years

Text

2020 Fanfic Year End Summary

Hey ho let’s go

Nev does these every year and I think they’re interesting, so for the first time I’m gonna give it a go too. I feel like this has been the longest fucking year--the Zine feels like it was two years ago and last January feels like it was ten years ago.

I’m gonna answer some questions and do a little reflection on the year

This year I technically finished Icarus with 2k words of a 36k story, and after that I went on to produce 197k words not even COUNTING the stuff from GPAU which I do not know how to divide up for 2020.

That’s 23 fics in one year, 8 of which were cowriting projects. This year has been, objectively, insane. By comparison, in 2019 I produced 17 fics and at the time I thought THAT was doing pretty impressive work. Now it’s not my best year by sheer number of titles--2018 was an oil boom while I was into JTHM and I actually put out 25 fics that year, some of which were short oneshots and some of which were two- or three-shots. But in terms of words? 2020 knocked them all out of the park. Which is absolutely something I owe to my amazing friends who let me ride around in their brains like the parasite I am.

In 2018 I started cowriting with Chokopopo, in 2019 I started cowriting with Neveralarch, and in 2020 I just did a fucking ton more of that with no looking back. It’s so incredibly motivating to have someone to show your progress to! And to have someone to hand the project over to when you’re stuck. If I hadn’t had Nev to bounce off of, most of this fic wouldn’t have been thought up at all, let alone finished. And don’t even get me started on GPAU! Choko and Zephyr and me have done such amazing things with “Welcome! Everything is fine”, and I can’t wait to be able to wrap that up and leave it for posterity.

I switched job positions around July of this year, and it’s changed the way I produce fic. Not sure if it’s good yet or not. I was never actually under a stay at home order this year because I work for a state agency, so to a degree I’ve missed out on the ways that quarantine affected other writers. I think I was fortunate?

Best Title

Ahhh this is tough, I put a lot of effort into my titles this year--I promised myself in 2019 I was going to stop using song lyrics for fic titles because they make songs loop in my brain and it’s self inflicted torment, which is a promise I... mostly kept. “Dress Your Idol in Gold and Ashes” is the one I put most effort into probably, because I kept toying around with it trying to find something that was evocative of the right pagan imagery, and also the idea that got me started on the fic was a passage in a text book about the daily dressing of an idol statue in ancient Egypt.

“Broke My Last Glass Jaw” gets special mention because I named it after an essay that I wrote in undergrad for my African American Lit course, in which I broke down themes of the spoiled american dream via the lens of 90′s rap.

Worst Title

“Take one for the Team” is definitely my laziest title. It’s just super self indulgent kink fic, no character arc or anything, so I couldn’t find a good image or phrase to bring in for the title. Also I remember I really wanted to post it quickly, since it was a response to some art I was looking at, and I wanted the artist to see. I’m sure I could have done better with the title.

I did end up titling “Fear and Delight” after a song but I forgive myself because I literally only wrote the fic because the song existed first.

Best Summary

Some of these summaries I wrote and a some I did not, but of the ones that I wrote I think.... “ I'm All Full Up on Yesterdays, Don't Sing Me No More Blues” is the best one. It launches you directly into the action, while preserving the surprise reveal at the end of chapter 1. I actually wrote chapter one with this summary in mind, so it was baked in there from the start.

Jazz turned in his seat, cube at his lips, just in time to spot the white pursuit vehicle steaming and panting in the doorway. “Jazz of Staniz,” the enforcer shouted, “surrender the matrix and come quietly!”

Jazz knocked back his drink. “Well!” he said to the open-mouthed bartender, “time to split!”

Worst Summary

I mean, summaries are hard for everyone, right? That’s the thing we all universally struggle with, I think? I usually end up liking mine, and this year I was less afraid to just let a section of the story speak for itself. Anyway the worst one is “ Broke My Last Glass Jaw” by virtue of the fact that I had to come back months later and add another line because I wasn’t satisfied with how it was reaching audiences.

After the war, Impactor is at loose ends.

(They were friends once, weren't they? After all this time, Impactor wonders if Megatron hasn't managed to forget.)

I really wanted that one line to say it all, but honestly it requires a lot of trust in me as the author and most of the people who pass by the fic in the archive aren’t gonna know me from adam. The second line clarifies what kind of story it’s going to be in terms of tone and theme.

Best First Line

I’m pretty ambivalent about most of my first lines. Since Nev already pointed out the first line in “ Apotheosis”, I have to admit, it is pretty good. It gets off to a real jaunty start.

“Excuse me,” Starscream said, striding down the steps of the senate chambers with his cape flaring out behind him, “get your cowcatcher out of his face, you tin-plated amateur despot, he’s with me.”

I also like the audacity of a run on sentence that is the opening to “ Desecrate You”

Ratchet clicks the video because it was auto-recommended, and because First Aid is always dropping hopeful hints that he wants her to watch his show when he’s supposed to be grading papers, and because something about the title (“This is Definitely a Hoax! None of this is Real! Short Cut Footage Episode”) makes her wonder why the hell someone who runs a Ghost Hunting youtube channel would bill their own hard work as a hoax right out of the bag.

Worst First Line

Definitely the least interesting is from “Tantric Sex, and Other Mysteries of the Divine”. I guess it’s another fic where I was really eager to get to the meat of the fic, and so I just went back after I was done with the fic and wrote a paragraph of bare bones setting context so we could move on already.

It’s game night at Swerve’s, and Nightbeat is out in the thick of the crew for once, getting the lay of the land.

I have the same problem in a few fics, which probably arises from the fact that when I read a fic, I often skim the first paragraph or so to see if I really want to commit to the read. So I sometimes write like I’m expecting the audience to do that too. I probably need to work on that. Man, I even did it in Sexy Staycation.

Best Last Line

I like endings! I usually have a good gut instinct for where stories should end, and how to pace that, and what image I want to close the fic on. Often times I’ll be writing a story and feeling really lukewarm about it, and then the ending will come to me, and I’ll feel totally won over by it. That happened with my Suicide Squad fic years ago. So this is for the most part me picking the best of the things I already like. “Broke My Last Glass Jaw” has a good pithy one; I like how it isolates this moment as a moment of choice, and how it’s also ambiguous whether he will change because of this or whether he’s doomed to go back to his predetermined pattern.

And despite the unguarded door and the empty inviting streets beyond, where no one wants or expects anything of him but his feterless bitter trog onward into the next waiting prison cell, Impactor lays down, and Impactor does.

Special mention goes to “ The Sky Dark in its Eclipse : Orange Light Remix”, because the ending section is one of the big changes I brought to the remix, and I’m really happy with how it alters the shape of the narrative and also how it changes the focus of Rung’s arc. Most of the actual words in this fic were written by Choko in 2018, so this is like a collab in slow motion--I changed loadstone moments mostly, some of the framing, all of the backstory, and updated the setting for Cybertron. But the ending is all me.

On the morning of Intro to Psych finals, while Hot Rod hums and taps and scrolls back and forth through his test on the front row of the testing hall, Rung will sit behind his desk and brush the dust from the rotors of his fateful archetype, and start the long process of putting the pieces together once and for all.

Worst Last Line

Again, I like my endings, so this is really the worst of the best. The original ending line I wrote for “ All Our Urgent Restless Sighing” was:

Deadlock’s finials twitched. “...I am a reasonable amount of interested,” he said, “in this topic.”

And in the beta process, Nev came back in and added the line about Ratchet and cuddling, which was a big hit with the readers it seems like. So clearly I benefitted from some help there haha!

Looking back, did you write more or less than you thought you would this year?

you know what, I definitely wrote more than I thought I would. I didn’t see “Don’t Sing Me No More Blues” coming at all, and that was once a month for most of the year. I was hoping that I would be able to write a few things outside of Transformers, because I always worry that my long spans of hyperfixation are driving away my longtime readers... and I did manage to get one hxh thing written that was good, and one hxh thing started that is mediocre so far. So I guess I’ll call that good enough.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, just your favorite.

hmm I’m really proud of the Pharma chapter me and Choko put together for GPAU--the body horror, the tragedy, the lotus eater machine plot. But even though that felt like a whole ass story of its own, I guess it’s only a chapter at the end of the day. So my favorite story would be “Apotheosis”. It’s just SO much, and we had SO many things we wanted to do, and somehow we managed to do them ALL. Corpses! Children! God! It’s got everything! The only thing it doesn’t have is the idea that literally started us plotting out the fic. And that was “ritual public sex with Starscream and Rung”. Oh well. Maybe someday. Probably not.

Okay, Now your most popular story

Ha! I tend to view the success of a fic more based on its bookmark ratio than its hit count, but by the numbers, unsurprisingly, “ Don't Sing Me No More Blues” is my most popular fic of the year at a whopping 3k hits and 113 bookmarks. Well, it is jazz/prowl which means it has a built in audience of considerable size, and it also updated seven times this year which increases its net range, so no surprise. But I think people also just really vibed with it--it’s very much a product of the times we are living in, and I don’t think it could have been written in any year except for 2020.

“Dress Your Idol” has 58 bookmarks, by the way. I’m extremely proud of that fic for having such a high bookmark to view ratio. I guess the people who did read it liked it a lot.

Story most underappreciated in its Time.

Okay nothing is as under-exposed as the stuff I produced in JTHM, so I’m definitely not complaining. It’s hard to think about leaving TF because TF is such an enthusiastic community. That said, “ Neggnog Cozy” did not get eyeballs. I’m not surprised, it’s short and it’s gen, and Thundercracker doesn’t have the built in audience of say Starscream. Still, I thought it was really funny and cute and I would have liked it if more people would have given it a chance.

Story that could have been better

Oh, “ Melusine Among the Tombs” for sure. I went into that with only the first chapter planned and immediately after realized that I had no idea where the fic was going and also I had lost my grip on canon characterization after a couple years going rusty in other fandoms. I plan to finish it eventually, but I need a better plan than “wing it???” first.

Sexiest Story

I wrote SO much weird kink this year. Like. Shout out to past me for writing some pretty spicy JTHM fic, but this year I really leaned into how weird you can plausibly get with an all robot all alien cast.

“ The Sensual Machine” is the most unabashedly horny because it was written specifically for a weird kink themed zine that I was an editor on. “Desecrate You” is also quite horny but I almost exclusively wrote the frame device for that, so I don’t get sexy credit lmao. “Fear and Delight” was a big hit with all the hxh readers and I think it has an element of sexiness more so than pure horniness--its has a kind of glamour and style to it.

Most fun story

“Starscream's Sexy Staycation” is by far the most unabashedly comic and sexy and silly and low stakes. It has one of my favorite kinks, a beautiful stupid moment of Ratchet suffering, and Rung calling safeword which is something new and fresh and I want a lot more of it in the world.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

“ Lacunae” was given to me as a yule gift prompt with the express intention of explaining who the fuck Carmilla’s mother was, and what the deal is with Carmilla as well. This would have forced me to reevaluate my understanding of the novel except for the TEENSY insignificant fact that I realized I had never finished reading Carmilla, somehow, and ended up reading it for the first time in December in preparation for yule. So uh. Hmm.

I think “ Don't Sing Me No More Blues” made me think about Prowl in a different way. I wasn’t really expecting him to be this hard-edged idealist when I started out on the fic. He was originally going to be much more like the autistic coded Prowl of “The Cop and the Cryptid,” one of my favorite fics ever. Also, I started writing the fic about a month before the riots and police protest kicked off in America this year, and it really caused me to zero in on how Prowl being part of a system like that affects his relationship to the world and other characters.

Hardest Story to Write

“ Elegy for Actaeon of the Hounds” took me a total of six months to write from start to finish. I don’t know why. Well, It’s partly because there are three involved sex scenes and sex scenes are actually very difficult and time consuming for me to write. It’s also partly because I kept wanting it to have a character arc, and I kept getting stumped on how to handle that. Beauty and the Beast plot lift? Have Rodimus be a rabbit? Eventually I settled on the version that kept the cast tightly cinched down around Megatron and Rung, and I’m happy with the result.

Easiest Story to Write

When we were writing “Apotheosis” it felt like we were on FIRE, we were so productive and we started three other projects between us while it was in motion. But “Take One For the Team” was absolutely the most fun to write, it basically wrote itself

Most Overdue Story

“Champagne in the Final Days of Rome” was based off a conversation I had with Nev pretty early on in our friendship--Discord says it was June 2019, so that’s uhhh ten months between discussion to actual writing? And it still didn’t turn out to be the fic we were originally outlining, haha.

Oh god you know what was really the most overdue? The last chapter of “Icarus; or, Look Who's Digging His Own Grave”. It was literally a year, January to January, between chapter 12 and 13. For a while I thought maybe I was just going to have to leave it there, without resolving the time loop problem at all.

Did you take writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Writing for the zine was a big risk. I remember Nev had to reassure me at least twice that what I was writing wasn’t too weird or off-topic or embarrassing to be part of the project. Now, of course, I’m very happy with it. But my god I was nervous to post something that was like.... straight up actually bimboification applied to one of the most popular toy characters of all time.

What I learned from this is that people love horny shit, are READY to take a chance on a weird fic when its in the right wrapping paper, and when in doubt you CAN sell people on a kink they’re not really into by making the kink actually a reflection of a character arc. Are you writing this down?

Do you have any goals for writing in the new year?

Finish GPAU!!!!!!

I’d like to FINALLY sit down and do some hard work on my original fiction. I’ve been kind of waiting for the tf hyperfixation to wane so I could move forward, and I think that process is in motion now. But who knows. If Rung shows up in the new comics I might get nerfed again.

Other than that I’d like to write at least one fanfic that isn’t TF, and I would like to get this really crunchy Rung/Pharma fic off the ground so I can make some people CRY

#2020 retrospective #fanfic

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mcrmadness · 3 years

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Song asks - 3, 6, 23, 25 :D

Thanks!!!

3.) Which music genre is your least favourite?

It’d have been easier to answer to what is my favourite as I dislike everything that I don’t like. Well duh... :DDD But I gotta answer rap here, and it’s not even a least favourite, I just simply dislike it. It’s something that I sometimes don’t even call as music. Vocals and singing style in music is really important to me and I just can’t stand hearing it when people basically talk instead of singing + I don’t usually like the music beat of rap either because it’s so repetitive and repetition really drives me crazy.

There’s probably only two bands that have done rapcore or something that does not annoy me and one of them is actually The Rasmus, their album Playboys has lots of rapcore kind of vocals but it actually fits the music so well? I actually never saw this as a teenager even when I already then hated rap, only just a couple of years ago I was listening to Playboys again and was like “wait a second this is like... rap-singing??? o.O And it’s... good??? O.O” And the other band is Bloodhound Gang, altho I skip like every second song and like the faster more punkrock songs a lot more and actually don’t listen to the first album at all because it had too much rap on it? But there’s a couple of songs that have rap vocals but I still like the songs. (Also Die Ärzte has a few songs where they have rap and those I listen to because they’re funny :D)

Fun fact: my dad also hates rap and once I was driving to another city with him and we were listening to Rammstein. I put the albums on in a chronological order and my dad likes Rammstein but has never time to listen to full albums from pretty much any band and he got so angry over Till’s vocals and he just announced: “What is this, this can’t be Rammstein, this is rap! But it’s the best rap I have ever heard! >:(” Like, that dedication, he was so angry because it was “rap” but even more angry because it still sounded good :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Talking of Rammstein, I didn’t like Ausländer at first because of how Till sings aka doesn’t sing, but I kept listening to it to make sure I form a proper opiniong and can understand what I really think of it and started really liking it because you can really save a song with good music and good singing voice even if it’d imitate singing that sounds more like speaking :p

Whoops, what a long answer :D

***

6.) What’s a song that makes you think of your favourite fictional character?

It’s gotta be one of the songs that are played in Deadpool and Deadpool 2 movies. There’s at least 3 of these songs that I don’t even know the name of but every time I hear them somewhere, my brain goes “DEADPOOL 8)” and I know one of these songs is that, I guess it’s already a meme song? The singer called Enya or something like that, I don’t know the song’s name or anything about her either but it plays at some point in the movie and I’ve seen it used in meme videos so many times. But my brain just yeets to Deadpool because I think that movie was the first time I recognized that this song might be a meme song.

I chose Deadpool because he was the first one to come to my mind when asked about songs and fictional characters, I don’t really have any number 1 favorite but Deadpool is one of them and I might have had a tiny (or not so tiny) obsessiong and hyperfixation every time the movies have come out.

***

23.) What’s one of your favourite song lyrics?

Someone tell me how it happened Why my head is so confused? Can it be my circuits finally blew a fuse? Can a human being really change into a humanoid? Or is my imagination paranoid All I need is peace and quiet; maybe just a little time Turn the channel, turn the channel—peace of mind Peace of mind Hard to keep Hard to find Look ahead Look behind Looking for Peace of mind Can't relax Can't unwind Deep inside Secret mind Oh, no! That’s an old rarity song from Oingo Boingo, called I’m Afraid, and honestly the whole song is one big mood! Also I really love this song musically, it’s so diverse and interesting!!!

***

25.) When do you listen to music most?

Only when I have something to do that will keep me busy for more than 5-10 minutes aka usually in the car, I love long rides because I know I have plenty of time to listen to music - only problem is that can I decide what I want to hear?

I also listen to music in the shower sometimes, I bought myself this bathroom bluetooth speaker in case it would make my motivation higher and executive dysfunction/procrastination smaller when I have to go to shower. Sometimes I also listen to cds the old school way, from the cd player I bought when I was 10. I have it in my kitchen because I don’t have any better way of bringing music to that room.

My favorite time is probably when I’m drawing or doing something else that is creative and takes lots of time, like writing, reading something from computer (like sims blogs). With some video games I’m also able to listen to music, e.g. when building houses in The Sims 3, driving trucks in Euro Truck Simulator 2 or desinging and renovating houses in House Flipper.

Rammstein’s newest actually will forever sound like House Flipper because the album was released one day after the first DLC of that video game and needless to say, I played that game and listened to that album on repeat simultaneously for probably the whole week or more. So now I will forever associate it with me cutting video game grass.

#kitthefox #ask games #music talk~

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spaceysp · 3 years

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Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,

How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,

Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,

Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,

Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,

Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?

ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY

im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk

one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy

1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!

2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely)

bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder

3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date

leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else

4. health issues

bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you

5. bads nervous

this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)

i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now

OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO

this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date

NUMbeR tHree *airhorns*

they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal)

n u m b e r f o u r

where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him

NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them

What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options

1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy

2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy

3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other)

i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF)

i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))

ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon

#tw caps

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paceypeternathanslawyer · 4 years

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Top 10 Favorite TV Shows (In A Row):

The Dick Van Dyke Show (The Dick Van Dyke Show has earned the number 1 spot in my heart through years of love and loyalty. Growing up you learn about shows through your family, it’s only natural. Especially with me because we didn’t have cable much of the time. So the only way I could really learn about TV shows was through them. TDVDS was the first show that I considered to be “my show,” it was sorta my identity for a lot of years. Yes, I learned about it through my family, but the first time I remember watching it was on my own. My sister Ingrid had it on VHS tape, and I just remember rummaging through her VHS’ and deciding to watch it one day. One thing’s for sure…. my love for that show outpaced everyone in my family. It was also one of the first shows that I came to consider myself an expert on. It’s a show that is everything to me, and if you get me started I could talk about it for about 24 hours straight. If you want a big list of why TDVDS is such an iconic show. I have a whole post about that)

Get Smart (Another show that has earned it’s spot and that will never change despite whatever hyperfixation I have at any given time. Don’t even talk to me about the 2008 movie adaptation of Get Smart. It’s not even worthy to lick the TV shows boots!!!! Get Smart is a show that I have memories of since I was like 8 years old. It’s such a happy show for me, though I would say that about all of my top 10 favorite shows. This show had such a genius concept. It came at a time when spy shows and movies were all the rage. It took that genre and just flipped it on it’s head. It was kinda like a parody of James Bond and stuff like that. Get Smart has shaped popular culture so much…. and so much more than people realize. So many popular words or terms that are in out lingo and dictionaries were created in Get Smart)

I Love Lucy (I Love Lucy is a show that has been a part of my life…. forever. I literally don’t think there was a time when I Love Lucy wasn’t in my life. It was probably playing in the hospital room while I was being birthed. My dad was obsessed with this show. He was so obsessed that when he was in California with my mom, on vacation. They went to Beverly Hills and my dad wanted to knock on Lucille Ball’s door and say “hi” (this was in the 80s), but my mom was too mortified at the thought. So he snuck into her backyard and took a picture of her garbage can. Yep… that’s my dad for you. I think that picture is still in a picture book of his!! He was a huge collector, he collected a shit ton of stuff before giving most of it away in the early 2000s, cause our family was moving to a much smaller house. One of my first memories of any show or movie was I Love Lucy. It was in 2003, when I was 6 nearly 7. We had recently moved to a condo, and the house was still in disarray and we as a family sat on the floor watching I Love Lucy. I remember the episode…. it was called “First Stop” and it was about the Ricardo’s and the Mertz’s trip to California and they stop at a shady diner off of a highway. The diner owner tricks them into staying in a cabin that he rents out (long story, you’ll have to watch the ep to see how that happens :) ) Either way, they are in this cabin that is feet away from a train track and every time a train goes past, Ricky and Lucy’s bed moves all the way to the other side of the room. It was so funny and I peed my pants… no joke…. i’m embarrased to admit it but it’s true. But hey I was 6 years old, I give myself a pass for that ;) )

I Dream Of Jeannie (I Dream Of Jeannie is a show that I learned about relatively late in life. I was 12 when my sisters and myself watched the first episode. It really became a show that was mine and my sister Ingrid’s show. We used to watch every episode together from start to finish and we were both huge fans of Tony and Jeannie’s relationship. Tony and Jeannie were one of my first ships)

Stranger Things (STRANGER THINGS!!!!! This show took me completely by surprise and it has now earned the 5th spot, that will never change! I have never been hyperfixated on a show for this long. It has been my hyperfixation for over 3 years now. Before I started watching Stranger Things, I thought I knew all I needed to know about it. I knew it was a sci-fi/horror show that revolved around kids. I had heard the cultural noise surrounding it and I respected that, but as someone who doesn’t consider herself a “nerd”, I had no real interest in it. It was one of those shows that I acceded I would eventually watch, maybe in 20 years, but it was so low on my priority list. In fact, my opinion of sci-fi or quote un quote nerd shows/movies really hasn’t changed despite my love of ST. I still have no interest in Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, Lord Of The Rings, Harry Potter, or any other show like that. I have no interest in action for action’s sake. I can’t watch a light saber dual and get excited about that. In order to care about an action scene I need to first care about the characters. It wasn’t until Jan 2017, that I decided to give in and watch and i’ve never looked back. It’s one of the best decision i’ve ever made. I’m telling you, if there is anyone out there who hasn’t watched ST yet and doesn’t think they would like the show. Please give it a try…. I thought the same thing as you before I watched it. It’s so much more than just sci fi and horror. It’s also a drama with big comedic elements, it’s a relationship show. It’s horror but it’s not overly scary (and this is coming from a scaredy cat), it’s sci fi but it doesn’t lean on that too much, it’s not overly gloomy and the cinematography is so beautiful, it’s fun and exciting, it’s got a really interesting conspiracy storyline running through it. Believe me, it’s worth a try!!)

Gilmore Girls (Gilmore Girls is a show that became mine and my sister Greta’s show. She’s on Tumblr (though not as active) so if you see this Greta… thankyou for my undying love with this show :) It’s all your fault ;). GG came at a time in my life where I was really kind of averse to watching any new shows. I had my favorite shows and that was fine with me. But Greta wanted to watch this show with me, and we hadn’t really bonded too much because I was in school and she was working and there was an 8 year age difference between us. So I really credit GG with bringing us closer. We really bonded with our love of this show. Though I think she only watched it with me cause she thought that Jared Padalecki being in it would help me get into Supernatural…. i’m onto you Greta, i’m onto your tricks ;) The year was 2011, the month was October and I was 15 years old (the same age as Rory when the show started) and my life has never been the same (I think i’m being overly dramatic at this point) :)

New Girl (New Girl is a show that my sister Millie got me into in 2016. She just kept showing me clips of it until I gave in and watched it. For anyone looking for a quality comedy to watch, ya’ll should watch this. It’s damn hilarious!!!)

Community (I watched Community for the first time around 2012. I watched episodes here or there when my siblings would have it on. But I didn’t start watching it from beginning to end until about 2015. I regret not watching it all sooner because Community is a genius show, and is grossly underrated. I think it’s the first show that had a big grass roots fan base that saved it from being cancelled year after year. It seemed like every year Community was in danger of being cancelled by NBC, but the fans would go ballistic and kick up a storm during every hiatus. It was really one of the first, if not the first time that fans would picket and riot online and their attempts to bring the show back did not go unnoticed by NBC. The show would go on to have 5 seasons on NBC, and then it had a 6th season on Yahoo. Now every time a show is cancelled people kick up a storm online and make their attempts go viral, but Community was really the first of that. Community fans are freakin tenacious)

Psych (There are 7 people in my family including my parents and everyone of us is fans of Psych. Psych came out in 2006 and was on until 2014. It’s a show that a family where the oldest was born in 1953 and the youngest was born in 1996, can all agree and love the show. My brother Johnny was the first, I remember he used to walk around and sing the theme song thus annoying me constantly. Then my brother made my sister Greta a fan, and then my sister Ingrid became a fan, around that time my sister Millie became a fan. Next Greta watched Psych with my mom and my mom became obsessed to the point where it’s one of her favorite shows ever and Shawn and Gus are two of her favorite TV characters ever. She has watched it all the way through about 7 times. Then my mom and myself watched it together from start to finish, and I became a huge fan. I can safely say that is the only time my mom has ever gotten me into a show. I love her so much, but she is not a big TV viewer, she’s more into books and such. Which makes her love for Psych even more unique and surprising. Then Greta and my mom watched it together again about 2 years ago and my dad joined in and found himself becoming a fan of it. That’s also not including my 2 brother in laws and my sister in law who are all huge fans of it. And my sister in law initially hated it…. until she found herself becoming a huge fan as well. This all speaks to Psych’s amazing power. It’s so funny and an all around amazingly done show.)

Remington Steele (Remington Steele is a show that my mom and dad watched together with a group of friends when it was first airing in the 80s, so I learned about it through them. It’s such a fun show!!!!!!! It has a really fun concept as well. If there is any Psych fans who are reading this post, you should all watch this show. A writer of Remington Steele was also a writer on Psych and RS is referenced on Psych multiple times. Totally worth everyone’s time, it’s my favorite 80s show)

#favorite tv shows #the dick van dyke show #tdvds #get smart #I dream of jeannie #i love lucy #stranger things #gilmore girls #new girl #community #psych #remington steele #the golden age of hollywood #the golden age of tv #classic tv shows #modern tv shows

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startofamoment · 5 years

Text

that’s rough, buddy

Jake’s always had a complicated relationship with fire.

(A character study of sorts on firebender!Jake.)

Hi everyone! Welcome to this incredibly self-indulgent thing, in which I mash together my primary obsession of years past with my current reason for living. (Nevermind that they don’t intuitively mesh well. We’re just going to say that Brooklyn is kind of like Korra-era’s Republic City and call it good.)

An anon had asked me ages ago whether I had any headcanons on what type of bender each person in the squad would be. I hadn’t felt inspired to write an actual fic for this AU until the super talented @microfroggo took on my silly pitch to draw our boi Jake as a firebender a couple months ago. Because tumblr is tumblr, I’ll include the relevant links in a separate reblog down below – def check out Mikko’s work if you’re at all interested in getting something done!

PS: I should probably mention that I don’t do very much to explain the Avatar-related side of this AU. If you’re unfamiliar with the animated series, I’d recommend at least skimming through the wiki page so you get a basic understanding on the different forms of bending. (And honestly, if you have time, GO BINGE-WATCH A:TLA! I promise, you won’t regret it.)

PPS: FMA:B fans out there will note that I’ve included a little nod to everyone’s favorite Flame Alchemist… Because, yes, this is definitely just a gratuitous homage to all my hyperfixations. I’m sorry. (Not sorry.)

“That’s it. Use your breath, son.”

Jake inhales deeply then exhales, focusing intently on the small flame between his hands. He’s supposed to be making sure that it doesn’t blaze wildly or just die in the wind.

He’s done this particular exercise a bajillion times now. (Or maybe less – Mrs. Stratton did mention that he needed to work on his math.) Still, his dad says it’s very important to practice his control. Jake supposes that’s fair, given that it’s only been a few months since he nearly singed Nana’s eyebrows off while blowing out the candles on his blue birthday cake.

What he really wants to do is skip forward to launching fire missiles with his fists or propelling himself through the sky on flaming jets, exactly like he’s seen it done in the movies. But his dad says he’s got a long way to go before he can attempt anything more than a basic fire stream, so Jake just nods and does what he’s told. He’ll become a firebending master eventually.

Truthfully, though, Jake thinks that maybe if his dad weren’t working or golfing so much, maybe they’d get to train more often, and maybe he’d be able to progress to something other than breathing.

The funny thing is: when his dad officially walks out of his life, despite all of their training, Jake’s not sure he even still knows how to breathe.

---

His mom’s an airbender, and Nana’s an airbender, and Gina and her mom are airbenders. So Jake wants to be an airbender. (If only it worked that way.)

He’s unfortunately stuck as a firebender, with no one to teach him how to actually firebend, so he has to resort to copying the Ninja Lion-Turtles on TV. Raphael’s naturally his favorite, although he can’t make heads or tails of how to replicate his fire daggers.

He almost never experiments with bending at home, of course. He’s not the brightest, but he at least knows how dangerous it would be for one of his attempts to go wrong without anyone around to help extinguish the fire. On the rare instance that his mom isn’t at her multiple jobs, she lets him practice while she paints ceramics or cooks. She’s only had to run in with a bucket of water once, but, well– once is enough.

And yes, he could technically be enrolled in lessons… but that would cost money, and Jake would really rather have a full belly than a proper fighting stance. His mom is overworked and overwhelmed as it is; he couldn’t possibly ask her to look into registration fees at the local dojo.

---

Occasionally, when he’s alone in the park with Gina, he’ll run through the few basic exercises he remembers then attempt some fire-jabs and kicks. He’s not supposed to, but he’s fairly certain that nothing will catch on fire in an open field and that, on the off chance that anything does, a patrol officer will handle it. Gina doesn’t mind at all and usually just uses the time to meditate.

It’s on one particular trip to the park that it happens. He’s not even sure how he does it, just knows that he goes from buzzing from the inside out to shooting electricity from his fingertips. He lifts his hand up in wonder, trying to get a closer glimpse at the little iridescent bolts. He’s so enraptured that he doesn’t realize where his other hand is pointing. He doesn’t see the string of lightning hurtling straight toward his best friend.

Everything turns out fine in the end. The blast wasn’t strong enough – he isn’t strong enough – to fatally wound her, but Gina still gets brought straight to the hospital.

“I’m okay, Jake,” she insists with a huff, waving off his umpteenth apology. “Besides, I swear I met Raava in the two seconds your lightning hit me. Did you know she’d be ethnically ambiguous? The scrolls have not done her justice at all.”

Jake chuckles, accepting the jello cup she offers him.

For the most part, he’s glad that she’s fine and that she apparently met the Avatar Spirit and that she still likes him enough to give him her dessert.

Deep down, he feels terrible. He’s never going to lightningbend again.

---

Jake had assumed that he’d find his path in college and know what to do by the end of it. Instead, he’s a new graduate back in his childhood bedroom, freeloading off of his mom for as long as she’ll let him. He’s really just coasting through life and going through the motions, aimless.

Eventually, his clarity comes – not in a spark, but in a short-circuit fire erupting just a few houses away.

He’s woken up by loud sirens blaring and screams echoing in the night. He acts on instinct, running out before remembering to put shoes on and running into the blaze without a second thought. The ground should be blistering hot beneath his feet, but he doesn’t notice at all. He keeps going until he’s parting walls of flames, ushering the family of nonbenders to safety.

In the thick smoke rising from the still-burning house, he sees destruction. In his hands, for the first time in a long time, he sees something good.

He thinks that maybe he should join the local fire department, that he should use his bending to help control and extinguish rogue flames. He thinks about it, and then thinks about it some more, and then figures that he probably wouldn’t enjoy the constant reminder of how devastating fire can be.

Months after mulling over it, he finally comes to a decision: “Mom? I think I’m going to sign up for the police academy.”

“That sounds like a great idea, honey,” she replies, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I’m so proud of you.”

---

It’s rough because all the other trainees have been honing their bending for years, whereas he’d been spending most of his life trying to restrain the inferno inside him.

Most of them laugh; one of them actually slams him against the lockers and calls him a “sorry excuse for a firebender.”

“Don’t mind him,” a voice says. “He wouldn’t know a good bender if the Avatar kicked him straight into the Spirit World.”

Jake looks up from where he’s slumped on the ground and recognizes her as the fierce metalbender no one’s been able to talk to all week. There’s a distinctive scar through her right eyebrow, and he wonders whether it came from a freak accident. (He also wonders how she got into the men’s locker room, or how she knew he needed somebody, anybody.)

“I’m Rosa,” she says, reaching out a hand to help him up. “Wanna spar?”

---

He gets better.

He trains with any firebender that’ll take him on, watches instructional videos, goes on Yahoo! Answers… Soon enough, he’s wielding whirling discs and shooting comets of fire like the best of them.

The only thing he doesn’t even consider attempting is lightningbending. At least not until he’s in his thirties, watching wide-eyed as his new captain generates a cracking stream of electricity out of nothing. It’s just strong enough to stun the escaped convict they’ve been tailing, no real damage done.

“You want me to teach you how to lightningbend,” Holt says without preamble the next day.

Jake opens and closes his mouth dumbly, feeling thoroughly seen and not quite knowing how to respond.

“Before anything, Peralta, I should let you know that not everyone is able to manipulate lightning. It takes a different level of power and a certain kind of–”

“I can do it,” he interrupts quickly. “I’ve done it before, sir, when I was a kid. I just don’t know how to control it.”

Holt regards him for a long moment before nodding. “We start at seven tomorrow.”

---

Jake’s always thought that fire meant power and aggression and pursuit. Instead, it’s weakness when he’s face to face with particularly-skilled waterbenders – those who can render him useless, temporarily buried within thick sheets of ice; or who send downpours of unrelenting, freezing rain over his head.

(He thinks, as Amy smirks and bends a rapid torrent of water toward his sternum, flinging him halfway across the training room, that he’s weak for her in a different way.)

---

It had never occurred to him to measure the intensity of his flame. He’s always figured that the fire he produced was hot enough – hot enough to take down perps, hot enough to never turn the heat on in his apartment, hot enough to discreetly keep Amy’s coffee warm throughout the morning. (If she’s noticed him repeatedly finding excuses to pick up her mug, she hasn’t said anything about it.)

Charles, of all people, makes him check. “Hey Jake, do you know if you can keep a flame constant at say 350 to 425 degrees Fahrenheit?”

Jake turns away from his computer screen to look at him, his brow scrunched together in confusion. “Why?”

“I was thinking of doing an open-fire roast for the precinct’s Turkey Day dinner this year.”

“Boyle, you want me to firebend our main course?”

“It would make me so happy.”

Noting zero sarcasm in his response, Jake shrugs then swivels his chair back to his desk. “Okay, yeah– But ask Gina if we can book the training room for this. I’m not firebending a turkey in my apartment.”

---

It turns out that being a walking furnace really does have its perks. Or at least that’s what Jake realizes as Amy burrows into his side, pressing her nose into the crook of his neck.

“You’re warm,” she mumbles sleepily, exhausted from the day’s departmentally-mandated sparring practice and the just-as-steamy bedroom activities that followed.

(It had to have been well over their thousandth time facing off in the precinct gym, both of them familiar enough with each other that they could anticipate nearly all of their attacks… Except he really could never have foreseen Amy’s final move: completely disarming him, not with a tidal wave but with a kiss.)

“Warm?” he scoffs teasingly. “I think you mean hot.”

She groans loudly but cuddles closer to him still, her smile burning against his bare skin.

---

He gets thrown for a loop when their major serial murder case boils down to a ring of firebenders, all stuck in their old way of thinking.

“You’re not them,” Amy reminds him, running a gentle but steady hand down his back.

I could be, he thinks. Because even now – especially now – in the calm silence of the evidence lockup, he can feel the sheer power thrumming beneath his skin. All it would take is for him to get too angry or too drunk or too anything, and the worst could happen.

“You’re a good person, Jake,” she says, her tone more firm than before. “You always have been.”

He swallows thickly and nods, letting her pull him into a long embrace.

---

If there’s one thing he’s wished he could do with his firebending, it’s healing. He’s watched Amy do it countless of times, stepping up as the precinct’s unofficial healer whenever necessary. He’s felt the soothing power of it himself – cool water coaxing at his skin, repairing everything from a black eye to a bloody nose to a stiff back.

Right now, watching the love of his life start to bleed out before his eyes… He’s never felt more helpless.

“Damn it!” Jake yells, pushing his jacket into her side, willing the bleeding to stop. With the shooter knocked out and cuffed in the corner, he’s finally free to assess the damage. “When is the ambulance going to get there? You need a healer, now! ”

“J-Jake,” she chokes out, bringing a shaky hand to his clenched fist. “F-f-fire c-can cauter-r-rize.”

He lets out a sharp gasp, his eyes wide with shock. “You want me to burn you?!” He shakes his head vehemently. “No, Amy, no. It’s too dangerous. I could kill you–”

“Y-you won’t,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. The open trust in her eyes makes him want to sob. “Jake.”

“Okay,” he says, wiping hot tears with the back of his hand. “Okay.”

---

“Can you do the twinkling lights again, Uncle Jake? Pleeaaase?”

It’s bedtime at the Jeffords household, and two little girls are decidedly not asleep.

“Please, Uncle Jake? Aunt Amy? One last story and the twinkling lights?”

He meets Amy’s gaze and raises an eyebrow. She shrugs, her lips curling into a smile. “I suppose just one short book wouldn’t hurt. Right, Jake?”

He hums, feigning thought while glancing at the clock. “We might have just enough time before your daddy and mommy get back.”

Cagney and Lacey cheer as he switches off their bedside lamp, and then watch with glee as he fills their room with dozens of tiny, carefully-placed flames. He makes them flicker with a precise movement of his hands, makes them float like fireflies in the night sky.

The twins fall asleep soon enough, lulled by the soft tone of Amy’s voice and the amber glow of the lights.

Sometimes Jake forgets how enchanting fire can be.

---

Yet again, he’s at the mercy of a waterbender.

This time, it’s his daughter, only two-weeks-old and somehow already able to cause ripples and waves as she moves a tiny hand through the warm water in her tub. She lacks any real control, which is perhaps the biggest problem.

“Amy!” he calls out, equal parts awed and panicked. There’s nothing much he can do right now, apart from maybe distracting the baby with a dancing flame. (Not that he’d allow her anywhere near fire, at least not yet.)

---

“I’m going to be a waterbender like Mommy,” his son declares one day, with all the confidence of a child that’s crossed the jungle gym for the first time. He’s a little older than most kids are when they start bending, but it’s too early to be concerned about it; he could just be a late bloomer. (Granted, it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t start bending at all. They’d love him just the same if he were a nonbender.)

“How about firebending?” Jake jests lightly, feeling a bit wounded but also kind of relieved.

“Hmm, maybe,” Max shrugs, before running off again to play.

Of course, of course, when the boy eventually does start bending, it’s a scorching stream of fire that bursts from his small outstretched fist. He’d been mimicking the probenders they’d seen on TV the day before, copying their fighting stances down to a tee.

Jake meets his eyes and sees the same mixture of fear and amazement he’s come to know so well. He quickly takes control of the wild flame, tamping it down to a low ember before gently passing it back to his son.

Max nurses the glowing warmth between his two palms, staring at it in fierce concentration. It flares too-strong for a moment, then recedes but doesn’t fizzle out.

Jake nods at him and smiles, pride blossoming in his chest.

“That’s it. Use your breath, son.”

#b99 #b99 au #atla au #b99 fic #peraltiago #jake peralta #amy santiago #firebender!jake #waterbender!amy #my stuff #i took a break from the soulmate au redux and remembered i was 90% done with this au so!!!#i know this is kind of niche and totally self-indulgent #i had a lot of fun writing it and hope that someone out there enjoys reading it!

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walkingshcdow-a · 5 years

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Anastas/ia Review 3/6/18 - Tour

Under a readmore because I’m highly opinionated.

So, those of you who follow my blog know that I saw “An/astasia” back in February while visiting my parents. Those who follow my blog will also know that the tour production rocked my world when I saw it. I’d come to the show, sight unseen, with no knowledge of the new plot and songs. I was blown away. I cried three times. Two of those times were inspired by the actor playing Gleb. However, tonight, the show’s magic dimmed and it shocked me just how much minor changes to a production can alter the audience’s perception.

I’ll start with My Guy, Gleb Vaganov.

The actor playing Gleb made such smart choices last month that I took the character on as a muse. Tonight, he was clearly off his game. He dropped several lines - including the one where he recognizes Anya by her eyes. Because he dropped lines, his character arc felt disjointed and forced.He also dropped a couple of Gleb’s jokes and the character came off as very static and inhuman. I think he knew that he’d messed up because to compensate, he started over enunciating and getting angry in his blocking where, previously, he had not been. When he did The Arm Grab on Anya, I think he may have actually hurt the actress. I was sitting in the orchestra, so I could see their facial expressions. It was... bad. The overacting did not just extend to his singing. He changed blocking - and I don’t know if this was his choice or the director’s - but he had Anya on the ground - not on the throne - during the confrontation scene. He hurled himself to the ground and sobbed when he couldn’t kill her. It was overkill and it made me sad because I’ve seen him do much better than he did tonight. Another thing I noticed from the orchestra is that his uniform is ill-fitting. All the other Glebs I’ve seen look very sharp in their uniform. From the mezzanine in February, this Gleb did too. But from the orchestra? He looked like the uniform was a few sizes to big. I wish I could say it was a costuming statement.

Anya

My opinion on this Anya is unchanged. She’s not bad, but she doesn’t act like a 27 year old. It’s like her Anya is stuck at 17, which is an interesting character choice, but not my favorite. Still enjoyable, still immensely talented. I see a lot of criticism about the musical getting rid of Anya’s fiery temper. Clearly, these people have not seen the tour. This Anya was fiery

Dimitri

BEST DMITIRI. He was so soft and wonderful, I really feel like he was the show’s saving grace. As such, it made his arc - which is not as dramatic as Anya’s or Gleb’s - feel more authentic and meaningful. He also had a killer voice. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how good he was the first time I saw the show, but grateful I got to see it a second time to enjoy his talent.

Vlad

I’ve shared my opinions about this Vlad privately. He’s not as warm as John Bolton, but he does a bang up job - especially at showcasing the conman part of Vlad’s character. His dancing wows me. He dropped a few lines, though. It didn’t mess up the continuity as Gleb’s mistakes did, but there were a few beats I sorely missed.

Lily

Wonderful woman, but I swear she’s much younger than Lily is meant to be. It was distracting at first, but god this woman’s comedic timing is spot on. And you can tell she knows it and is eating it all up. Beautiful performance.

Dowager Empress

Solid performance. Harsher and more bitter than the OBC, which I loved? I didn’t love it the first time I saw the show, but I’ve grown to prefer her take to the OBC.

Now that I’m thinking about it, a lot of lines were dropped tonight, even by minor characters in the cast, which left the show feeling like it came from an unrealized world. Which is such a shame because literally a month ago, this same cast and crew wowed me. I think it might be because they’re touring, it was their second night in the new venue, etc. It still made me feel.. thankful I didn’t bring my mother. I felt like it was the kind of production that makes my hyperfixation seem... dumb or irrational. It was a lukewarm show, but it was still a worthwhile experience.

#;;told by an idiot | {out of character}#;;signifying nothing | {personal}#tw: negativity #((It's just a review of the show I saw))#((but I don't want anyone thinking I'm attacking their babies))

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angeltriestoblog · 5 years

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On-brand stories from my childhood

I remember this tweet going around a few months ago, soliciting people’s most on-brand stories from their childhood, things they’ve done or words they’ve said as a kid that sum up who they are at present. I wanted to participate so bad when I first saw it on my timeline, but I knew that being the eccentric, one-of-a-kind kid I was, it would take me a long period of reminiscing (and more tweets in a thread than anyone would bother to read) to put down everything worth noting. So, here it is: 10 of the weirdest, Most Angel experiences from my youth, for the lack of a way to put it, accompanied by photos of baby me because let’s face it, they make everything better.

ONE: When I was about four, my parents took me to a building very near our house to have my IQ checked. They had an inkling that I was a gifted child, and wanted to confirm it with a professional. So, I was escorted into an office, and subjected to interrogation to assess my competence in several areas of giftedness - much to my dismay, since all I wanted was to get that interview over and done with so I could read books in the library next door. There was this one part where the person in charge of me was trying to test my kinesthetic abilities by getting me to follow this aerobics routine that she was making me do. “Step step one, step step two,” she was saying while stomping to the right and stomping right back in place. I told her I didn’t want to do it, because I didn’t want to look like a fool.

TWO: I had this knack for correcting teachers. As a kid, I was hyperfixated on learning all the countries in the world and their respective capitals, with the help of this flash cards set that I got from Toy Kingdom. So when there was this time that my Filipino teacher had said that there were only two countries in the world with names that started with the letter Q, five year old Angel was very quick to correct her. “Miss Melissa, there’s only one country that starts with the letter Q! It’s Qatar!” I told her. She replied, “No! Quebec is a country, too!” This argument persisted for a bit until she made us do a seatwork, which gave her the opportunity to leave us to go to the computer room for a bit (since cellphones weren’t given Internet capability back in 2006). She returned and told me, “Angel, tama ka nga. Di pala bansa yung Quebec, hehe.”

THREE: It’s become common knowledge to everyone in my life that I wrote books growing up, but my body of work extended way beyond my very inventive fiction (alternatively called, me putting my own twist on the fairytales I read growing up) and creative non-fiction (me telling everyone how my day, half true-to-life, accurate detail and half-imagination). I remember going through the family laptop one day, and coming across the corporate profile of my uncle’s company, where my dad was working at the time as the technical assistant to the president. Being the child I was who wanted to emulate everything her father was doing, I wanted to make a copy of my own too but I was unfortunately unemployed. Thankfully, I took matters into my own hands and made up a company of my own, which I aptly named Pamper and Pretty. Excuse the fatal grammar error, but I was six and was yet to be familiarized with what parallelism in writing actually was. I drafted a whole corporate profile, complete with the list of my employees along with their corresponding duties and responsibilities, as well as a list of all our products and services.

And of course, how could I forget my professional resume?

FOUR: I even looked far into the future and prepared a spiel for when we’d be looking for new employees, as well as a list of rules and regulations to follow if ever anyone would pass our grueling hiring process. My favorite is rule #26, which goes “Drug pushers are not allowed in the store.”

FIVE: While we’re on the topic of business, I guess it’s worth boasting that I was able to sit in a meeting my mom had back in the day with the rest of the members of the Systems and Methods division, and I was asked to take the minutes for a change. I’m aware I’m making absolutely no sense, but after much inferring, I guess it revolves mainly around IT, monitoring procedures and AARs.

SIX: I was a proponent for self-help at a very young age too, creating a list of five rules to live by, which I referred to as my “straight line project”. For which reason, I have absolutely no clue. One part reads: “Always watch out for a kid bullying some one so you can save the person being fought, then do the same thing that the bully kid did to your friend like for example when they are fighting in a swimming pool that the bully is trying to push your friend, you should save your friend and push the bully kid to the pool.” I advised. Turns out I had an attitude and a knack for retributive justice from the very start.

SEVEN: I also found a couple of letters I addressed to Santa as the Christmas season approached, where I requested everything from “world peace” to the entire Diary of A Wimpy Kid series. Talk about being a versatile queen! My favorite of the bunch was the last one I made, where I included directions and a sketch to get to our new house, because we had moved residences earlier that year. I just didn’t want Santa to get lost, and sneak in my old house only to find out that I was no longer there.

(Fortunately, my mom was able to print out all those files I had saved to the family computer before I promptly infected it with a virus that wiped out its entire memory. The lengths seven year old Angel would go just to download Young Guns by Wham! from Limewire.)

EIGHT: I was elected as class president multiple times in grade school, which you would think would mold me into becoming an active student leader. But, my term was constantly shrouded in controversy. I was always tasked to write down the list of noisy students on the blackboard, I’m not exactly sure if this qualifies as public humiliation but I wasn’t concerned with that at the time and did everything I could to fulfill my duty. A classmate of mine was singing a High School Musical song at the top of her lungs, and I asked her to stop. Usually, that does the trick and sends the noisemaker back to their seat but she ran out of the room and brought her mom upstairs because she got upset.

NINE: I also rode on a classmate’s bag, which resulted in her mom going upstairs (I have no idea why their moms spent the entire day in the waiting room on the first floor too, man) and scolding me, saying that her daughter’s bag is not a pony. I was also accused of calling my classmate stupid because she was only Top 7 out of all the students in class, while I was Top 1, which was false by the way since “stupid” was considered a curse word in our household until I was 10. Perhaps the best scuffle I got myself into was because I had checked my classmate’s homework with red crayon and put several drawings of hearts and stars, as well as reassuring comments along the lines of “Great job!” and “Congratulations!” around his perfect score. His father literally had me sent to the principal’s office. Parents then had way too much time on their hands, I swear to God.

TEN: If we don’t take into consideration the whole fiasco that involved my Teletubbies stuffed toy*, my first brush with “love” happened when I was in kindergarten. I had a crush on one of my classmates named Kevin, who is the scrawny little boy that you see beside me in the pictures below. I don’t remember anything else about him, not even his surname, and I haven’t heard of nor seen him since our pre-school graduation ceremony. All I have to remember him by are these photos, and a video that my mom took of both of us where he was seen flapping his arms around and making weird facial expressions, while I would squirm out of kilig in response. Weird. The worst part of it all? I didn’t even like him because he was cute or funny or nice to me: it’s just because he was named after my favorite Backstreet Boy.

(*In case anyone's curious, up until I was about three years old, my parents and I lived in Malabon with my maternal grandmother, who was tasked with taking care of me while my mom and dad were both at work. She was fond of watching Filipino teleseryes while taking care of me: they often had their fair share of kissing scenes, but I was practically a baby at the time who wasn’t capable of processing or remembering the things she was seeing on TV. Or so they thought. My mom said she had walked on two year old me making out with my cousin’s Teletubbies stuffed toy one time. She then promptly asked my lola if they could keep me as far away from the television as possible once Pangako Sa’Yo came on. Can’t blame her for that, honestly.)

That’s all I can think of right now, but I know there’s plenty more where that came from. Hope everyone is having a fruitful Holy Week celebration. Wishing you nothing but love and light, always always always.

Angel

#personal #on brand stories from my childhood #i'm baby #i was so cute as a kid omg what happened #look at all that POTENTIAL #angeltriestoblog #angeltriestoshowhowcuteofakidshewas #angelsucceeded

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