#whats that fucking sturgill simpson song
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"why dont you do art anymore? why dont you post your writing more often? why don't you talk about ocs anymore?"
bc honestly people do not care aside from a passing glance.
#murder they wrote#whats that fucking sturgill simpson song#'they all say they'll be there but in the end y'all know they won't'#and yes i know there's compounding factors as to why certain people don't share my work#but god#god damn i wish someone would protect ME for once
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would love your country music recs!! been trying to get into the genre but haven’t really listened to a whole bunch and would love some suggestions <33
YAY thnk u for reaching out. um most of these artists i havent trawled their entire discog but each has some things i really really love. many of them explore serious topics such as addiction, discrimination (racism, homophobia, sexism, classism, etc), and more (like a lot of less commercialized and more traditional country music does).
its important to note that there is a lot of crossover in country, soul, blues, americana, and folk, so some artists might be more leaning to one of the other genres but their relation to the country style compels me to include them.
i will also say that afaik these are mostly modern artists because nothing makes me fucking angrier than people saying that new country music isnt good. please pull yourself out of the country billboard top 100 for the love of god.
ok here it is:
> yola (one of my faves, lots of crossover with soul in her style)
> brandi carlile, maren morris, natalie hemby, and amanda shires are all good individually and are part of a collective called the highwomen (theyve collaborated with yola several times!)
> robert finley (i could cry with how much i love his work, sharecropper's son 2021 is just fucking. perfect)
> john fullbright
> rhiannon giddens
> gillian welch
> shakey graves
> charley crockett (his work all feels so fresh and unique to me, i never get sick of it)
> courtney marie andrews
> brown bird (one half of this duo has passed on so they havent made any new music since then, but i still suggest checking them out)
> mary gauthier (drag queens in limousines is a total classic)
> the war and treaty
> sturgill simpson
> allison russell
> paul cauthen (he's collabed with orville peck, who im sure a lot of people here know! if not i rec him too ofc)
> emily nenni
> john r miller
> lucette (shes had work produced by sturgill simpson iirc)
> the secret sisters (very dear to me)
> katie pruitt
> shovels & rope (<3)
> parker millsap
> margo price ( i love her i love her i love her i love her what can i say. thats how rumors get started 2020 changed my life)
> kaia kater
> robert ellis (less familiar w him but i like what ive heard)
> jaime wyatt
> arlo mckinley (another artist i havent checked out extensively but ive heard good songs from him and like his voice)
> the chicks (forever and ever <333333333)
> amythyst kiah
> mercy bell
> justin townes earle (who has unfortunately passed away in recent years, i think 2020)
> waylon payne
> the devil makes three
> evil
> jason isbell and the 400 unit
i also dont want you to think i dont want people to listen to classics, i do. i love classic country music — if you havent checked them out, id especially recommend john denver, charley pride, dolly parton, willie nelson, hank williams, johnny cash, the carter family, glen campbell, kitty wells, robert johnson (hes blues, but hes mississipean blues and has influenced country music through and through), patsy cline, judy collins, waylon jennings, and marty robbins.
this isnt comprehensive but its what comes to mind right now. i hope it was helpful!!! <3
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5:A song that needs to be played LOUD
7:A song to drive to
11:A song that you never get tired of
12:A song from your preteen years
13:One of your favorite 80’s songs
15:A song that is a cover by another artist
17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke
ty for the ask!!!
5:A song that needs to be played LOUD
there's so many good ones I could chose but one I will ALWAYS turn up is "Dragula" by Rob Zombie. One, it just makes me think of my favorite anime Hellsing Ultimate because of the abridged version; two, Rob Zombie fucks. spotify/ youtube (music video contains horror and flashing lights)
7:A song to drive to
It doesn't matter where my partner and I are going or what we doing, but if "Na Na Na" by My Chemical Romance comes on my spotify while were driving we immediately forget what we're talking about. spotify / youtube
11:A song that you never get tired of
for this I scrolled to the very bottom of my spotify likes sorted by date added. The second song from the bottom is "Car Radio" by Twenty One Pilots. Yeah this one really gets me in my emotions and is a completely timeless song to me. Its just a really good song IMO, and I still add it to new playlists. My music taste has changed and grown a lot but Car Radio remains one of my favorite songs of all time. spotify / youtube
12:A song from your preteen years
I associate middle school a lot with when I first started listening to alternative music, primarily grunge and emo and... whatever the fuck Nickelback is. Too be fair, I kinda grew up listening to Nickelback but I really enjoyed them in middle school lol. I could link any full album of Nickelback before Here and Now and that would be relevant, but I think I'll just leave my favorite song. "Savin' Me" from All the Right Reasons (which just happens to also be my favorite album, shut up I like Nickelback and I will kill anyone who tries to come on my hill). spotify / youtube
13:One of your favorite 80’s songs
I can only chose one? :( Okay. I've actually been really into Journey lately, so I gotta chose the best one: "Seperate Ways". (Not to say I've never listened to Journey, my dad is very big into 80s rock as most Gen X'ers are. lol) spotify / youtube
15:A song that is a cover by another artist
I'm a big Nirvana fan. I'm very picky on my Nirvana covers. That being said, I really love it when an artist twists a song into a new genre. "In Bloom" covered by Sturgill Simpson is my favorite cover of any song of all time. He made Nirvana into folk country. And its fucking good. The rest of his music aight. "Breaker's Roar" is another great song, don't really care for the rest of his discography. spotify / youtube
17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke
Please please please someone sing "Dawns" by Zach Bryan and Maggie Rogers with me. I can do either part. Its been my favorite song to sing for a while please. spotify / youtube
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Let's just save everyone some time and annoyance. Instead of posting my entire Spotify library one track a time, cluttering up your dash, here's my top 200 songs (minus the X-Files soundtrack...) so that those who care can look.
Top - Live
Carry on Phenomenon - Kishi Bashi
Gillian Anderson - DeRita Sisters
T.B.D. - Live
Philosophize In It! Chemicalize In It! - Kishi Bashi
The Sandman - PJ Harvey
All Over You - Live
Fall - Davido
Crystal Ship - The Doors
Everyday - Weyes Blood
Shit Towne - Live
Sylvia - The Antlers
Theme for Scanty and Knee Socks - TeddyLoid
Fighting With the Melody - Jimmy Urine
Prometeme - Monsiuer Perine
Doctor Blind - Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton
Selling the Drama - Live
Bad Girls - Donna Summer
Paralyzer - Finger Eleven
Get It Up - MSI
Stage - Live
Hollywood Baby - 100 Gecs
Fourth of July - Sufjan Stevens
Jesusland - Ben Folds
Broken - UNKLE
Like a G6 - Far East Movement
Sober - Fidlar
A&W - Lana Del Rey
Twilight Time - The Platters
Witch - the bird and the bee
The Perfect Drug - NIN
Mulder and Scully - Catatonia
Concerning the UFO sighting - Sufjan Stevens
Freezing - Mozella
Epilogue - The Antlers
I Alone - Live
Never Wanted to Dance - MSI
A Lot's Gonna Change - Weyes Blood
Iris - Live
Obstacle 1 - Interpol
Jinja - Olamide
The Heaviest Matter of the Universe - Gojira
The Less I Know the Better - Tame Impala
Waitress - Live
Starman - David Bowie
Death is a Girl - Mini Mansions
My Gun - Tove Lo
TAIL - SUNMI
Sheisty - Trinidad James
Come on Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runners
Close to You - Carpenters
Eventually - Tame Impala
Never Let Me Down Again - Depeche Mode
The Dam at Otter Creek - Live
Intro/Pathos, Pathos - Kishi Bashi
Mulder, It's Me - Roach Coach
Take What's Mine - Baumer
Patty Hearst - Jimmy Urine
Oblivion - Grimes
Wonderboy - Tenacious D
Andromeda - Weyes Blood
MY GOD! - Tessa Violet
Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode
Here Comes the Hotstepper - Ini Kamoze, Salaam Remi
Volverte a Ver - Monsieur Perine
Get Over It - OK Go
money machine - 100 Gecs
Knife Prty - Purity Ring
Loser - Beck
I-E-A-I-A-I-O - System of a Down
Gasolina - Daddy Yankee
Scroll Patrol - Rinse and Repeat
Sleep - Conjure One, Rhys Fulber
Every Third Thought - David Duchovny
Somebody's Watching Me - Rockwell
Attack - System of a Down
Seether - Veruca Salt
Fucking Boyfriend - the bird and the bee
Something Good Can Work - Two Door Cinema Club
Funkin' Around - Outkast
867-5309 - Tommy Tutone
Attitude - Buggin
Son of Sam - Elliot Smith
Goatmeal - LustSickPuppy
RIDE IT - LustSickPuppy
Space Oddity - David Bowie
All I Really Want - Alanis Morissette
She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby
The Government Knows - Knower
Don't Worry About the Government - Talking Heads
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
Crystal Ball - Keane
Life on Mars? - David Bowie
Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads
She's An Angel - They Might Be Giants
Sci-Fi Wasabi - Cibo Matto
Yours Truly, 2095 - ELO
How to Disappear Completely - Radiohead
In the Backseat - Arcade Fire
Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel
La Mer - NIN
Burn the Witch - Radiohead
Galaxies - Laura Veirs
Scientist - The Dandy Warhols
Stella was a diver and she was always down - Interpol
Hurt - NIN
Female of the Species - Space
Lithium - Nirvana
Black - Pearl Jam
Karma Police - Radiohead
Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran
Who Can it Be Now - Men At Work
Gila Monster - King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard
The Boy with the Thorn in His Side - The Smiths
Live Fast, Diarrhea - The Vandals
Screaming Infidelities - Dashboard Confessionals
OG! - JPEGMAFIA
MakeDamnSure - Taking Back Sunday
Freak Mode - Dorian Electra
Welcome to Earth (Pollywog) - Sturgill Simpson
Origin of Love - MIKA
The Curse of Curves - Cute is What We Aim For
love nwantiti - CKAY
Adore You - Miley Cyrus
On & On - Longpigs
Dumb - KOPPS
Anubis - Septicflesh
Girls on Film - Duran Duran
Friday I'm in Love - The Cure
Andrew in Drag - The Magnetic Fields
Water of the Gods - The Changes
La Gozadera - Gente De Zona
Violent Pornography - System of a Down
You Sexy Thing - Zella Day
Heart Burn - SUNMI
Party Time - The Northern Boys
Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Island in the Sun - Weezer
Babooshka - Kate Bush
Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers
What Kind of Name is Love – Big Kid
Hacker – Death Grips
Space Age Love Song – A Flock of Seagulls
The Way We Talk – The Maine
Walking on a Dream – Empire of the Sunday
Neighbour – Mother Mother
Slow Dancing – Aly & AJ
To the Hellfire – Lorna Shore
Los Ageless – St. Vincent
So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings – Caroline Polachek
Me and Bobby McGee – Janis Joplin
The Message – Grandmaster Flash
Maria – HWASA
Mothercreep – FKA Twigs
Locket – Crumb
When You Die – MGMT
I Want You – Mitski
Ghost Town – The Specials
joke! - SE SO NEON
You Oughta Know – Alanis Morissette
Propagation – Com Truise
No Rest for the Wicked – Lykke Li
Genghis Khan – Miike Snow
Kettering – The Antlers
Just Say Yes – Snow Patrol
Take a Walk – Passion Pit
Major Tim – Shiny Toy Guns
Neighborhood #2 (Laika) – Arcade Fire
Genius Next Door – Regina Spektor
More Than Words – Extreme
Creature Comfort – Arcade Fire
Dark Red – Steve Lacy
Let It Happen – Tame Impala
Crimewave – Crystal Castle
Church – Aly & AJ
Better Things – Passion Pit
Tulsa Jesus Freak – Lana Del Rey
cellophane – FKA Twings
Insane in the Brain – Cypress Hill
Me and My Husband – Mitski
Duality – Slipknot
Send Me an Angel – Infected Mushroom
Lady – Regina Spektor
Girl Loves Me – David Bowie
I’m Yer Dad – GRLwood
Hollywood Junkyard – The Bobby Lees
Disco Heaven – Lady Gaga
Helplessness Blues – Fleet Foxes
Such Great Heights – The Postal Service
In Cauda Venenum – The Dear Hunter
The Other Side – Pendulum
Bruma – MOL
Alrighty Aphrodite – Peach Put
Prince Johnny – St. Vincent
Shake It – Metro Station
You Are the Right One – Sports
Now We Can See – The Thermals
Body – Mother Mother
Kids – MGMT
I Will Possess Your Heart – Death Cab For Cutie
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@brendaonao3 tagged me to do this! Love you, old friend.
3 ships
Hangman/Rooster my beloved!!!! I don’t know if TG:M was just at the right place at the right time or what, but I haven’t been this invested in a ship in AGES. Just. Enough canon to work with, enough blank space to play with, you could make me believe they get together just about any way and I’d buy it and thank you for it. (Plus the raw material GP and MT bring to the table doesn’t hurt. Hnngh.)
I tend to be pretty fandom-monogamous, but two other fave ships I’d revisited pre-TG:M:
Arthur/Eames (Inception). Coincidentally (?) LOTS of parallels to Hangman/Rooster. Two supporting characters in a team that has to work together to pull off a mission. Total opposites in many ways that you know would make them total complements if they could get over themselves. MAJOR bitter ex energy. This ship also has some of the most incredible fic I’ve read for any fandom, ever. The canon-compliant stuff is great, but the AUs! Dear god, the AUs. It is my very fervent wish that we start getting TG:M AUs like that. (Plus the raw material that TH and JGL bring to the table doesn’t hurt. JGL’s wardrobe alone.)
Kirk/McCoy (ST:AOS). Oh, man, I was super-obsessed with this one back in the day. Much like TG:M, I saw the first movie WAY too many times in the theater. In general, I’m not big on ships that start as best friends, for whatever reason, but I vibe with this one. Plus Star Trek is just a fun universe to play in (although, again, some of my fave fics for this ship are AUs too, god, there is one kids-to-adults one that focuses mostly on HS and I re-read it still, all the time). I’m sad about this ship, though, because most if not all of my engagement with it was on LJ, and I know that a lot of the fic hasn’t made it to AO3. (I love K/M in TOS too, fwiw. DeForest Kelley’s McCoy in Wrath of Khan after the Kobayashi Maru, draped across the floor, actually begging for a compliment from Kirk…SO fruity, god love him.)
First ship
JC/Joey (popslash). I still stand by it and will not take questions at this time.
Last movie
In truth, the OG Top Gun for the zillionth time, while I was multitasking doing laundry and a crossword puzzle. Before that, it was actually Whiplash for the first time, as I continue in my quest to watch Miles Teller’s back catalogue, and a rewatch of Tombstone for the first time in at least a decade, for Val Kilmer. Next up is a rewatch of Jerry Maguire, probably for the first time since it was in the theater? (I have a huge embarrassment squick, so I remember not loving it, but I’m also in a Tom Cruise phase, so needs must.)
Last song
Sturgill Simpson’s cover of “The Promise,” which I didn’t know existed, but now do thanks to a completely captivating Hangster WIP. Before that, some random new-ish country songs as I continue digging for songs that Jake thinks about playing for Bradley on acoustic guitar. Suggestions welcome.
Currently reading
I mean, the real answer is Hangster fic, but I also just started “Girlhood” by Melissa Febos and am getting ready to be furious about it.
Currently watching
Other than the movies mentioned above, I just finished rewatching Bridgerton s2, which I unironically love. Oh, and trolling YouTube for Miles Teller interviews. (Glen Powell is my guy, but sometimes I find him to be, like. Overly polished, and kinda performative, in interviews. Miles is a fucking loose cannon and I find him fascinating.)
Currently consuming
Diet Dr. Pepper. Should actually eat lunch at some point.
Currently craving
Trying to remember if I have stuff to make a Jungle Bird, but I think I’m out of Campari. Boo.
I literally don’t know how to tag people, I’m such a fossil, but this was fun! Am I doing this right? @greendaze, @daggerspared, @saint--claire ?
#sorry not sorry i treat my tumblr like lj#ramblings#someday I will shut up about TGM but today is not that day
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Hard one: Top 5 country songs? :)
I'm gonna have to split this
Top 5 Classic Songs — classic used just, so fucking loosely and i picked randomly but this feels true
"Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks
"Maybe It Was Memphis" by Pam Tillis
"Everywhere" by Tim McGraw
"Blame it on Your Heart" by Patty Loveless
"Two Doors Down" by Dolly Parton
Top 5 Modern Songs — not of all time, just what I've got on rotation right now
"Waxahachie" by Miranda Lambert
"Russell County Line" by 49 Winchester
"Me On You" by Muscadine Bloodline
"Born Tough" by Nikki Lane
"Life of Sin" by Sturgill Simpson
Maybe too folksy to include but:
"California Stars" by Billy Bragg and Wilco
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Spotify wrapped: your sevens! 7, 17, 27, etc.
hoo boy here we go!!
7. strange overtones - david byrne
favorite lyrics: strange overtones though theyre slightly out of fashion / ill harmonize / i see the music in your face / that your words cannot explain
17. sing along - sturgill simpson
favorite lyrics: well i know you know that youre killing me / but its worth it just to see you smile / tell em to carve my name in the bar stool baby / you know im gonna be here a while
27. the curse of the blackened eye - orville peck
favorite lyrics: its true / true it follows me around / nothing to lose / lost it all anyhow
37. call to arms - sturgill simpson
favorite lyrics: well they cut off your hair and put a badge on your arm / strip you of your identity / tell you to keep your mouth shut, boy, and get in the line / meet your maker overseas / wearing that kim jong-il hat, grandma’s selling pills / and meanwhile, im wearing my "cant pay my fucking bills" hat
47. slut pop - kim petras
yeah im gonna go ahead and say i dont listen to this for the lyrics
57. gold soundz - pavement
favorite lyrics: so drunk in the august sun / and youre the kind of girl i like
67. the skin of my yellow country teeth - clap your hands say yeah
favorite lyrics: explaining that the sky holds the wind, the sun rushes in / a child with a shotgun can shoot down honeybees that sting / oh, this boy could use a little sting
77. tuff ghost - the unicorns
favorite lyrics: i dont care about anyone else / im a strong dead man, looking out for himself / i think youre suffering, thats why youre so mean / youre already dead
87. a lung - the knife
favorite lyrics: you are a crusader / youre the darkest lady / i like the taste of your tongue / you were darth vader / i know what youre made of / and you were warmed by the sun
97. thirteen silver dollars - colter wall
favorite lyrics: well, i got my health, my john b. stetson / got a bottle full of babys blue bird wine / and i left my stash somewhere down in preston / along with 13 silver dollars and my mind
send me a number between 1 and 100 and i’ll tell you the corresponding song on my wrapped + my favorite lyric from that song :)
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You're pretty close with your interpretation of Secukupnya. Most interpretations of it is quite similar, describing a life of living paycheck to paycheck, empty and/or broken homes, and a generally dull existence. But it's fine to let go sometimes, be sad. Secukupnya itself means "just enough". Drink a bit, take a tissue paper to wipe away those tears. It'll pass through when you're able to move on and continue.
Also... Idk why but uhh.. are your links broken? Where you recommend half alive it sends me to a Tally Hall song (I love em) and Green Day sent me to a Nirvana song? Just wanna confirm if that's your intent hahah 😅
Also, have more songs:
One Big Beautiful Sound - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards
Peradaban - .Feast (This one has translated lyrics on Spotify!!)
Holland, 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel
The Wolf - SIAMES
One Big Beautiful Sound: holy fucking shit
holy. fucking. shit.
Peradaban: Yeah, uh, I'm not gonna use Spotify, and I'm not sorry. Anyway, this seems like it might be about Indonesian politics? I know nothing about Indonesia. I didn't have a world history class 'til high school and it was a shitty one that basically only covered western history, and even then it was only in reference to how it affected America, so like...yeah. I don't know if I should be alarmed by the nationalism or not, but given the fact that Indonesia is pretty close to Japan and China, and also two places the UK occupied, and also a place the USA occupied... I'm just going to assume that they're dealing with the effects and remnants of some kind of imperial occupation and that the nationalism is okay, in the same way that Irish Republicanism is based, despite them still being "republican".
Alright, you get the Sturgill Simpson, now.
Holland, 1945: Ah, white boy with guitar my fa-- oh. Ah, fuzz-rock, my favorite genre! Actually, when was this, late-'90s? That's pretty early for fuzz-rock, I thought that was a more recent development. Anyway, the instrumentation is my favorite part of this song. Lyrically, this song borders on that Joe Hawley-esque "I am saying vague, artsy words. They mean whatever you want." But I don't think that's what's happening. I'm sure there's a meaning to this that I'm just missing. I'm sure there's something anti-capitalist here. I can smell communism...but my brain refuses to connect the dots. I'll come back to it later.
You might like Pre-Either Light Vundabar (mainly the Gawk album).
The Wolf: Ah, Siames. I should've known you'd come for me eventually (ive never heard a siames song in my life but youtube really wants me to) (i'm pronouncing it sigh'a-maze btw). This one's sort of dance-y. Like, the intersection between EDM and Rock. I actually really like this style but I can never find any song using it that speaks to me y'know? I was big on Portugal. The Man in middle school/freshman year because they do things kinda like this sometimes but I don't listen to PTM anymore because I realized that their songs only have substance if you're high or hyperfixated.
You might think this is kinda funny, but for some reason this reminded me of On Melancholy Hill.
#for the record#the links taking you to the wrong artist was a joke#i thought it was pretty funny#music share
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thanks @alienfuckeronmain for tagging me to share ten songs on my on repeat playlist
1. Remember to Breathe - Sturgill Simpson
I, like probably many people, did not know about Sturgill (which still sounds like a species of fish to me) here until that post about him getting high on edibles, writing an entire rock country techno funk album and hiring a famous animator to craft a whole short film for it. That album does indeed slap, however. And ya boi loves a good dubcon anthem.
2. Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard - Paul Simon
I have known this song my ENTIRE life. And it still grabs me by the spine and forces me to wiggle and shimmy and shake. It Bops. It Bounces. There’s a whistling section. I choose to believe its about getting high and giving head.
3. S [The Eyes of Insanity] - Ryo Takahashi
ANIME SOUNDTRACK TIME. Yes I’m still in my Sk8 era. I make memes for it every week. The S tracks are my favorite cause they go hard.
4. Dying Wish - Tasuku Hatanaka
apparently this is the opening credits song for Moriarty the Patriot which I have never seen??? Spotify just recommended it to me one day and I was driving so couldn’t scornfully silence it and return to my familiar playlists. Lucky me because it’s perfect.
5. Sing Along - Sturgill Simpson
Go white boy go!!
6. The Green Manalishi - Judas Priest
I still think fondly of that dead dove fic I’ve never written set to this THEE dubcon anthem. The titular manalishi is technically money, but fuck a metaphor when I can make that shit literal
7. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon
Look he doesn’t actually list 50 ways. But I forgive him for that.
8. Everybody Wants You - Billy Squier
I always imagined this song as being about a woman living life in the fast lane a la the girl Amy Winehouse sang about in Fuck Me Pumps, but I realized recently that there aren’t gendered pronouns in it and its a much more compelling reading to think of it as being about life as a rockstar beginning to wash up - i.e. Billy’s own fears for his future. Plus “you take your pension in loneliness and alcohol” is a raw ass line.
9. Tempo - Lizzo
My husband cant roll his Rs so this song is what I use to taunt him that I can. I also still want to try to make an AMV to this about Reki’s mom, who’s got it goin on.
10. Hey Na Na - Katie Herzig
I first heard this in a Starsky & Hutch fanvid, which is fantastic and a work of art. I have since emotionally bonded with it AND made my own AMV to it :3
I tag @gaylord-zuko and uuuuuuhhhhh others? if u want?
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list of things my brain is nawing on as we speak post wilburs recent lore stream (8/4/21)
c!wilbur begging fir forgiveness and along with that trust in him,,, he sounded like a little kid that had done something wrong and didnt fully understand that theyd actually messed up, just that they were in trouble and thought apologizing would fix things, that itd make things all better again,,,,, will no elaborate,,,
paradise by sturgill simpson in the framing of it being about lmanburg,,,,,will not elaborate
c!tubbo and c!tommy have more scars than we really think about,,,,,,,
my designs for all the various characters i like and how theyre somewhat fanon animal features come into play with canon deaths and canon respawns and lady death and hhhhhhhh
ranboo still hasnt done a lore stream for various reasons all of which i respect but its leaving me to fester in the fact that most likely c!ranboo isnt a fucking doormate and instead doing whats been inline with his character: being really on point about keeping tabs on wilbur. its real easy to know what someone who youre concerned about is doing when you keep right at their heels like an obediant dog
according to the geneva convention and the nuremberg trials, the excuse "i was just following orders" isnt a valid defense for having killed people, therefore technos "i was peer pressured" isnt a valid excuse. there was always a better option. i will not be discussing this further. also techno is a war criminal
all of the original citizens of lmanburg are scattered across the dsmp at this point. their community was destroyed beyond repair, both in the sense of lmanburg the place and lmanburg the people. those bonds will probably never be mended.
sacrifice by jeff williams and sung by casey lee williams is a fantastic song for when your protagonists and victims of violence from characters they trusted that have been juxtaposed into the antagonist roll at one point or another are having a raw heart to heart that leaves many fuvking sobbing :D
thats alli can thing about
many thoughts. head full
#dsmp#mcyt#dream smp#ranboo#tubbo#tommyinnit#wilbur#lmanburg#lmanberg#dsmp character nuetral#technoblade#technoblade semicritical#having come from being entrenched in political philosophy and then fully into fandom really is whip lash for mr
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also can i get some song recommendations for a playlist that fit the vibe of an immortal character that was once a normal person
Oh god I have no fucking clue how to do character playlists but good lord here are some reccomendations that sound adjacent to the divine in the way you'd like, + my reasoning
Godhunter by Aviators, (honestly just a great song for god-related chars)
Eating like Kings by Shawn James (bit down low and sour, if your god happens to be bitter)
Infinito Particular by Marisa Monte (very chill, portuguese lyrics tho so uh. whoops? they fit really well tho imo. probably the most mellow song of the list, also most generalist)
Remember to Breathe by Sturgill Simpson (feels very human but very powerful. Also, idk, funny to think of a god having to remind themselves to breathe to keep calm.)
Solar Waltz by Cosmo Shelldrake (oh to be a god worried about bees because of earthly pleasures)
Amnesia by Miracle of Sound (you've been through such pain... your little heart is growing stronger every day <3)
Saudade by Ana Frango Eletrico (also brazilian portuguese, but man... idk, sounds like someone realizing their godhood has been attained. maybe you do indeed no longer fear thunder.)
look I'm gonna be 100% none of these songs except Infinito Particular might fit your vibes, but hey, here's a peek into what I think might fit? :Y
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Today is the 1 year AO3 anniversary of Slow Show by @mia-ugly. I am beyond grateful that this experience (and it is an experience) has existed in my life for a year and felt it needed commemorating. 🎂
I’m not a creator but I made this playlist for me, so I could take the fic with me, have it with my eyes closed, while driving -- you get it. Today seems like an appropriate day to share it.
It’s a. It’s a lot. Excessive you might even say. Tumblr will only give you the first 100 songs in this, so, Spotify will fulfill you (or overwhelm you). If you hit my username on the playlist, there are separate playlists for each chapter.
This is also on Apple Music, if that’s your jam, just hit me up and I’ll send you the link.
🎉 Happy Slow Show Day!! 🎉
13 pages of track-lists and excerpts below the cut. Godspeed! 💙
Key:
Songs from Mia’s soundtrack
Songs from the Fic
.
--Title--
Slow Show – The National
_
--Prequel--
Loverman – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Devils – Say Hi
_
--Chapter 1--
Here I Go Again – Whitesnake
_
bad guy – Billie Eilish
-trash a set and shag your husband
_
Something About You (ODESZA Remix) – Hayden James
-what it would take for Avery Fell to let his guard down
_
A Little Wicked – Valerie Broussard
-The handkerchief in his hand is now stained purple
_
You Light Me Up In the Dark – The Hounds Below
-His hair catches the light like a halo, making him look more of an angel than ever.
_
Lazarus – David Bowie
-This could be a problem
_
--Chapter 2--
Unsteady – X Ambassadors
-much easier than talking about the way his heartbeat is still racing
_
Heart of a Dog – The Kills
-Call me darling again.
_
The Twilight Hour - Still Corners
-Looked across the set and thought, Ah fuck me. I’m in love with him.
_
God’s Mistake – Tears for Fears
-Avery: He’s closed his eyes again, mouth going flat and still.
_
Lounge Act – Nirvana
-Tell her all the terrible things I want to do to her husband
_
Transatlanticism – Death Cab for Cutie
-There’s a strange urgency tonight, though, and Crowley can guess why.
_
Do I Wanna Know? – Arctic Monkeys
-What could it hurt?
_
Clueless – The Marias
-“Better - yeah. ‘S late.”
_
Motel – Meg Myers
-The hotel room is another disaster
_
--Chapter 3--
Alone in a Room – Asking Alexandria
-“I’m having a moment here!”
_
Since You’ve Been Around – Rosie Thomas
-makes Crowley feel like he can breathe again
_
Home Again – The Disco Biscuits
-It’s starting to feel like home again
_
Every Other Freckle – alt-J
-Perfect. Ridiculous and impossible and perfect.
_
Something For the Longing – The Orchids
_
As Far As I Can See – Phantogram
-it’s been a really, really long time
_
Sinister Kid – The Black Keys
-“Mothering buggering shit-”
_
All These Things That I’ve Done – The Killers
-Crowley fists one of his hands against his forehead, shuts his eyes tightly.
_
--Chapter 4--
I Like Me Better – Lauv
-I liked the outline of your face under the stagelights
_
I Do This for You (ft. Marlene) – Giorgio Moroder
-“Let me see what I can do. About your precious Hamlet.”
_
The Longing – Imelda May
-Avery POV: “Look at him like - like - you can’t let him see the way you look at him.”
_
Just a Man – Los Lobos
-Avery POV: like he’s being led into battle and not onto a set to do the job he loves
_
World In My Eyes – Depeche Mode
-wants to make that bastard purr
_
Tired (ft. Gavin James) – Alan Walker
-Let me be a magpie for you
_
Blow My Mind – The Benjamin Gate
-Avery: “I know you now.”
_
Breathe You in My Dreams – Trixie Whitley
-Crowley’s seen that expression on Avery’s face in his dreams
_
Love Me Like That (ft. Carly Rae Jepsen) – The Knocks
-What have I done to - oh. Oh. Right.
_
Like Real People Do - Hozier
-“Sure, angel, what- whatever.”
_
Clearly – Grace VanderWaal
-Crowley waits for the rest of the night.
_
Gwendel – PeelsDeen
-Az sits in the back seat, away from Crowley. Alone.
_
Now I’m In It – HAIM
-Avery POV: It’s a look like an open grave, a look like desire tempered with grief…
_
Flesh for Fantasy – Billy Idol
-Crowley isn’t lonely for the rest of the night
_
--Chapter 5 (Avery POV)--
Smalltown Boy – Rosborough
-1978, Hartlepool
_
Bright Horses – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
-1986, Newcastle Upon Tyne
_
The Runner – Foals
-1991, Bristol
_
Shock To Your System – Tegan and Sara
-Tracy: “Why d’you let them?”
_
Cracking Codes – Andrew Bird
-“Forever, of course. I’ll never -”
_
Colour me In – Damien Rice
-Their fingers - just touch. Slightly.
_
I’m Not in Love – 10cc
-Less to regret by not ever speaking of it.
_
--Chapter 6--
Electric Current – Lower Dens
-“I’ll let you know when you find it.”
_
Guess I Miss(ed) You – The Daylights
-Keep talking, keep him here a little while longer.
_
Reflecting Light – Sam Phillips
-“don’t meet his eyes like that, it looks like it’s a lead-in to a kiss”
_
King of Pain – The Police
-a good reminder of the kind of life he’s got to live
_
I Wanna Get Better – The Bleachers
-and Avery’s gaze is so gentle it hurts a bit
_
Feather – X Ambassadors
-Avery: “Someone has to”
_
Darker Side - Jonny Lang
-Avery: “Oh - good Lord.”
_
Firestone (Acoustic) – Conrad Sewell
-“Will you show me?”
_
Velvet Gloves and Spit - Timber Timbre
-“Anthony - ”
_
Wrong – Depeche Mode
-Avery: “I have to go.”
_
F**k it I love you – Lana Del Rey
-“Not your fault, angel”
_
--Chapter 7--
Somebody to Love – Queen
_
Heavenly – Cigarettes After Sex
-“I fucking still.”
_
Will Do - TV on the Radio
-“You too. I’ll see you there.”
_
Monster – Colours
-No wonder Avery ran off like a thief after a heist
_
Swallow My Pride – Ramones
-“I feel fucking ill about it.”
_
I Was Wrong - The Oh Hellos
-Avery: “I’m the one who has to apologize, not you.”
_
The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret – Queens of the Stone Age
-Avery: “Please don’t tell anyone”
_
Wait for Me – Kings of Leon
-Avery: “Right now, I’m just - a bit in pieces.”
_
Don’t Stay – X Ambassadors
-“You can - stay or leave or - whatever you like.”
_
The Moth - Aimee Mann
-Avery’s eyes meet his, and then it’s like a car accident
_
Red Door – Julien Baker
-“I can - I can wait longer.”
_
Can’t Pretend - Tom Odell
-“I wasn’t apologizing for that. This morning. I won’t.”
_
Come Down to Me – Saving Jane
-Avery: “You were wonderful”
_
Secret Smile – Semisonic
-And if sometimes he catches Az watching him between takes
_
I Want More - KALEO
-Az laces both of their hands together, stares at them.
_
I’m Gonna Do My Thing – Royal Deluxe
-“So don’t tell me what will hurt me. I know what hurts.”
_
--Chapter 8--
Perfect Day – Lou Reed
_
Remember to Breathe – Sturgil Simpson
-“You can’t sit in the car all night you absolute nightmare”
_
Wild Love (Acoustic) – James Bay
-The two of them stare at each other and then both look away awkwardly.
_
Seasons – Future Islands
-finally, fucking finally, he’s exactly where he wants to be
_
Closer – Tegan and Sara
-Avery: “if you like”
_
I Want All of You – The Verve Pipe
-“If you think I can survive this without looking at you -”
_
Use Me – Miguel
-whatever he sees in Crowley’s face makes him come to some sort of decision
_
So Much Love – Depeche Mode
-Love, he said love
_
Don’t Be Scared, I Love You – Bill Ryder-Jones
-I know you, Crowley wants to say, but doesn’t.
_
Become My Dream – Silya & The Sailors
-“Even if - anything, angel.”
_
I Belong In Your Arms – Chairlift
-For nearly two weeks it goes like this.
_
Faster - Matt Nathanson
-“You’re going to fucking kill me, angel -”
_
Come Together (feat. Sivu) – LAUREL
-In case you think they don’t wake up together
_
The High – Kelela
-Az has pulled a stool over to the edge of the tub
_
Just in Time – Valerie June
-Then Az’s hand is on his shoulder, turning him around.
_
I Can’t Take It – Tegan and Sara
-Avery: “Don’t rush, just - like this.”
_
Like This – Jake Scott
-Avery murmurs and it takes Crowley back to their first kiss
_
Terrible Love – The National
-Flinches away from him.
_
Help You Out - Emarosa
-And he nods.
_
--Chapter 9--
I Remember You – Ramones
-The first person Crowley loved was a liar.
_
Brighter Skies - Race Banyon
-As if they were cut with a jigsaw, as if they were meant to fit.
_
Not Tonight – Tegan and Sara
-When they reach the edge of the city, his hand slides out of Crowley’s.
_
As Sure as I Am – Crowded House
-So Crowley kisses him.
_
A Promise – Miriam Makeba
-And for awhile, he believed her.
_
Mistaken for Strangers – The National
-They’re only two small words, but they still make Crowley’s teeth ache.
_
Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye – Leonard Cohen
-“Good-“ Swallow, speak, leave.
_
The Fear – Pulp
-Crowley should have been smarter this time. He really should have been.
_
Take Me – Leela James
-“I’d like you to close your blinds.”
_
Whenever You Want It – Clare Maguire
-“What do we do now?”
_
At My Weakest – James Arthur
-“It will be.”
_
Komm zurück - Fotos
-For years and years and years, nothing did.
_
Come on Get Higher – Matt Nathanson
-their feet sliding in the tub
_
Lay Down – Sarah Proctor
-I want to wake up with you.
_
Sort Of - Ingrid Michaelson
-Why is my heart breaking?
_
Fairytale of New York – The Pogues
-Just pump that shit straight into his veins.
_
What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? – Ella Fitzgerald
-Avery: “What do you think?”
_
We’re Gonna Have A Real Good Time Together – The Velvet Underground
-“You want to grab dinner somewhere?”
_
Hiding – IAN SWEET
-Crowley stops walking. Looks at Az in the darkness.
_
Romance Dawn – Radkey
-A slice of light cuts through the darkness.
_
Crown of Love – Arcade Fire
-Crowley feels like the world has never been darker, and his heart will never stop beating
_
Devil’s Backbone – The Civil Wars
-He thought he was ready for this conversation, but at the sight of Az’s face, his throat has gotten too tight to speak.
_
Sinners – Lauren Aquilina
-“If this all goes down in flames, if it all falls apart - we can go off together.”
_
Please Forgive Me (Song of the Crow) – William Fitzsimmons
-Avery: “It’s over. I’m - I’m so sorry.”
_
Start a War – The National
-He twitches and trips and yet somehow manages to walk away without falling over.
_
Broken – Daley
-And this soft heartache was somehow the sharpest of them all.
_
--Chapter 10 (Avery POV)--
Daily Battles - Thom Yorke & Flea
-He tries to remember these things - but the background is still a chorus of beeping machines. There’s nowhere he can be but here.
_
Everybody Wants You - Red Hearse
-Go out and surround himself with people much more interesting and available than Avery. Better people, certainly.
_
A Thin Line – Blackchords
-But still - roads not taken, and other fun middle-aged spirals.
_
My Own Soul’s Warning - The Killers
-When was the last time someone asked Avery that? When was the last time he asked himself?
_
Who Am I - NEEDTOBREATHE
-I miss you. There. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would.
_
Wait for Me - Jack Curley
-What he wants to say is ‘don’t find someone else. Not yet. You and your black leather and your cut-glass profile: you’re gorgeous and God knows other people want you.’
_
Coming & Going – Amaal
-“Two ships passing in the night,” he says quietly. Then he takes a swallow of wine, lets it roll down his throat. “If you were here -”
_
Iron - Woodkid
-Crowley leaves him there, pressed against the wet brick wall. Crowley leaves him there. Crowley steps between Avery and a camera, and then leaves him.
_
The Greatest Bastard - Damien Rice
-He can’t be the person that kicks Crowley into the ashes again. He can’t hurt him like this, and Avery’s going to hurt him - he already has.
_
No Right to Love You – Rhys Lewis
-He deserves someone like - like Daniel. Deserves to be loved in the daylight.
_
If It’s Hurting You - Robbie Williams
-Time is a tricky business when you’re dying slowly; it skips like a flat stone on a quiet lake.
_
Happy For You – Gayle
-But surely - surely he’s allowed just this much. Just one message, just so Crowley knows that - that he’s happy for him. That Avery is so happy.
_
I See You (ICU) - Phoebe Bridgers
-When Avery sees Crowley on the red carpet, it feels like the sudden remembrance of a lovely dream.
_
Once In My Life - The Decemberists
-Crowley: “I know there’ve been some - hard times. That’s - that is what it is. But for me - it’s been a privilege. A dream. So.” He nods and nods and nods again. “Thank you.”
_
Coming Down - Dum Dum Girls
-Tracy: “But I wasn’t. I was hurting you. This whole time, Az.” She shakes her head, wiping frantically at tears that won’t stop falling. “He loves you.”
_
I Don’t Know Anything – Little Voice Cast
-He’s afraid of finding out that all this time - he was doing the wrong thing anyway. He’s afraid that Anthony Crowley will never talk to him again.
_
Sweet Sour - Band of Skulls
-"And you're fired"
_
Heart Attack - Devarrow
-The sun is still rising when Avery gets out of the car, closes the door behind him. Though some of the roads have changed, his feet still know the way down to the docks of his youth. He was never a sailor, but the shoreline is familiar as a childhood sweetheart, as a long lost love.
_
Landslide - Robyn Sherwell
-He’s alone, and he’s nearly fifty years old. He could get on a ship, he could throw himself into the sea. There’s no one holding him back anymore.
_
All I Can - Sharon van Etten
-And he knows. He knows.
_
--Chapter 11--
Salvation - The Strumbellas
- there’s a moment where he swears he sees a young idiot in black standing in the crowd. Red hair gelled up into spikes, black t-shirt full of holes and safety pins. A young man who has no idea how much he’s about to lose.
_
Soldier - Fleurie
-And he’s still fucking here.
_
Easier – Mansionair
-Then he gets the fuck above ground and he calls Beez (oh great, they’re his emotional-support-asshole now. That’s healthy).
_
Deep End – Holly Humberstone
-“I brought you cheese,” Beez says, and Crowley starts crying.
_
Falling Short – Lapsley
-For the next few days, he lets his stupid body do what it needs to do to keep himself upright.
_
Chariot (Stripped Version) - Gavin DeGraw
-Shit, this was a bad bad idea.
_
Quiet Light - The National
-There’s a text from Az later that night, and his name on Crowley’s phone makes him feel like jumping off a cliff.
_
All That We Had is Lost - Postiljonen
-He’s not allowed to be in love with that man anymore. Wasn’t ever, really.
_
Heal - Tom Odell
-It makes a rather hysterical laugh well out of his throat. Anthony fucking Crowley. You are still alive.
_
Let Me Go - HAIM
-Crowley tries to ignore the soft, injured expression on the other man’s face as he turns away.
_
A Beginning Song - The Decemberists
-“What’s more frightening than having a choice?”
_
The Spark - William Prince
-And he likes to think he would have just burned the world to ashes with the power of his love, would have said fuck everyone, I choose you – but who knows.
_
Sharp Scratch - The Slow Show
-So stupid, I know, and I’m - sorry, I still love you and I’m tryin’ to stop and I will I just - needed to tell you that. I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Just miss you.
_
Beautiful & Brutal – Plested
-Crowley moves without thinking. Falls like a stagelight, glass everywhere. He walks forward and is kissing Az before the door has even been pulled shut.
_
Bad Chemistry - Fake Shark
-“I’ve been - thinking about this -” Az says between darts of his tongue against Crowley’s overheated skin.
_
All We Do – Oh Wonder
-“But I - I love you. And I can’t - hide. It hurts too much.”
_
Broken Strings - James Morrison (ft Nelly Furtado)
-“I wouldn’t survive it. That way it was. I wouldn’t.”
_
Stole the Show – Parson James
-But even on their distant shores, Crowley and Az don’t stop looking at each other. It feels like an ending. Maybe it is one. Not a happy ending, but not a bad one either.
_
Level Up - Vienna Teng
-excerpt from Anthony Crowley: Out of the shadows, under the spotlight
_
The Wire (Alternate Version) – Patrick Droney
-Avery: “I’m rather in - in love with you.”
_
Sweet Thing - Van Morrison
-“You can stay at my place. If you like.”
_
Falling in Love - Cigarettes After Sex
-“I love you. I’ve missed you, and I love you, and I want you -”
_
Stay - Cat Power
-He watches the slow flicker of awareness in Avery’s blue eyes. The curve of his mouth into a shade of smile that Crowley’s never seen before.
_
Freedom - George Michael
-“To the world.”
_
--Chapter 12--
Banks - NEEDTOBREATHE
-What he wasn’t used to was bringing someone else down with him, and jail would be a bloody blessing compared to seeing Az grey-faced and staring out windows, or that one time Crowley’s pretty sure the man was crying in the bathroom, trying to swallow down the sound so that Crowley didn’t notice (he clenches his hands into fists just thinking about it).
_
Black Mambo - Glass Animals
-“It’ll have to be.” Crowley drops to his knees. “There’s a lot of ground to cover.”
_
Florets - Grace VanderWaal
-Crowley can let his fingers curl against Az’s palm, can watch him open as a flame, not caring who notices.
_
Sight of the Sun - fun.
-That this longing won’t destroy him, and won’t destroy Az either. It’s not a shovel for burying Crowley alive - it’s a spade for planting things.
_
Pale Blue Eyes - The Velvet Underground
-Az drops his hand onto Crowley’s knee (“What is this song? I rather like it.”).
_
Only Everything (Acoustic) – Quinn Lewis
-“It’s nice to have someone make it for you, right? Sometimes,” Crowley says softly, too much love in his throat and in his hands. It’s hard to breathe around it, especially when Avery is looking at him.
_
The Book of Love - The Magnetic Fields
-“You bought a cottage for us.” Crowley is an animal being taught to speak through scraps of meat and electric shocks. “This cottage.”
_
Say You’ll Be Mine – Christopher Cross
-Avery: “But if you wanted -” Fuck, there are tears in Avery’s eyes. “If you want. I’d like to call you my husband. I’d like to say ‘let me ask my husband,’ or ‘I brought my husband with me’ or ‘my husband won a BAFTA’.”
_
Anthem - Leonard Cohen
-Their broken edges match. And somehow, the light still shines through.
_
Precious Love – James Morrison
-When the light catches them both, they shine. And so do you. So do we.
_
Good Man (acoustic) - Josh Ritter
_
_
If you made it this far...wow, hi hello. So, this is ours and my musical exposure is limited, if you’ve got a better song for an excerpt, feel free to shoot it over, more than happy for this to be a living changeable thing. 🤡
#slow show#slow show playlist#tumblr html code after read more is some bullshit#it's fic for your ears
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compromise is made out of peace but history's made out of violence
Fandom: Kamen Rider Amazons
Characters: Mizusawa Haruka, Izumi Nanaha, Takayama Jin / Chihiro, Nagase Hiroki / Mizusawa Mizuki, several orphanage children
Song: "Sing Along," Sturgill Simpson (playlist here)
Warnings: Well, this is Amazons fic, so if you've watched Amazons I'm sure you can guess, but--TW for references to cannibalism, although there is no actual violence. There is also, in the third part, a small amount of blood.
well i know you know that you’re killing me, but it’s worth it just to see you smile
.
The couch in Jin’s apartment is old and beat-up and not especiallycomfortable, but Nanaha’s draped one of her many shawls over it, and so it makes the entire room seem warm anyway. Haruka sits nearly at attention, nervous, hands half-folded on his knees, and says, again, “Thank you, Ms. Nanaha.”
She just flaps a hand at him from where she’s working in the kitchen. “It’s fine, I like to cook. And I figured having you over might keep Jin on his toes, he gets too full of himself.”
The entire apartment smells of food, rice in the cooker and vegetables and spices and sauces and chicken. Especially chicken. Haruka shuts his eyes and breathes the scent in, and it calms him so much that when he realizes how good he feels he’s shaken again. Did meat always smell so extraordinary? It was difficult to sit while she was cutting it up; he wanted to offer to help just so he could steal bites, eat it raw and feel the texture against his teeth…
He shakes himself, keeping his eyes shut, and Nanaha says, very calmly, “See, this is why I didn’t let you help. I can’t let Jin in the kitchen when I’m cooking at all.”
“I—” He flushes hot. “You can tell what I’m thinking about?”
“Not really, just an educated guess. Jin tilts his head the same way when he’s thinking about food.” Suppressed laughter audible in the back of her throat. “Among other things. Anyway, if you eat all the chicken raw then you won’t get to taste it when it’s cooked. You can help with dishes after, Jin’s terrible at that.”
He nods, eyes still shut against his own embarassment. “Yes, Ms. Nanaha.”
Another deep sniff, and it’s astonishing, how he can smell the meat in the pan, tracing the shifts in its flavor as it cooks and soaks in sauce. There’s another scent, too, underlying the cooking food, and he’s not sure what it is, but it’s intoxicating.
The floor creaks, the fridge door opening, and the strange scent moves too, and Haruka’s eyes snap open as he realizes that what he smells is Nanaha, and she smells like food.
He’s so hungry. And she’s right there. It would be so easy, she’s not even two meters away and just smelling her he can almost taste—
The apartment door opens, and a moment later Jin thumps down on the couch next to him and murmurs, cheerily, “Teeth off my girl.”
“I, I wasn’t, I don’t—”
“’course you do.” Jin slaps him on the back, almost friendly. “Who wouldn’t?”
“Don’t talk about eating me like I can’t hear you,” Nanaha says, not looking up from her cooking. “Dinner’s almost ready, anyway, you can control yourselves for two minutes.”
Haruka buries his face in his hands. “Does it ever stop, Jin? Are we always hungry?”
He can hear Jin grinning. “Always, always. It’s about self-control, Haruka. Secret is, when you get down to it, we’re all made out of meat. Me, her.” Hand on his shoulder, mouth next to his ear. “You. It’s all meat.”
Haruka shudders, and then shudders again as he realizes that he can still smell Nanaha, that she smells like she would be the best meal he’s ever had. And he can smell Jin too, different, gamey but good, and his mouth is watering.
The edge of a plate bumps his hand, and he looks up at Nanaha, who smiles down at him and says, “Here. Dinner. It’ll take the edge off.”
--
bitter air and the winds of spite
.
Chihiro has been sleeping on the floor of Hiroki’s bedroom for a week, ever since the day after he ran away from 4C, and he’s not sure he can stand it anymore.
It’s not the floor itself, the floor is fine. He’s got a few blankets. He’s got a pillow. The carpet is soft and not dirty, because as much as Hiroki tries to talk big and act rough he likes his things to be clean. The room is warm and full of life. But Hiroki is in bed, asleep, and the smell of him is overwhelming.
He tends to fall sleep on his stomach, vulnerable, the back of his neck exposed. One of his arms dangles over the edge of the bed, so close that Chihiro could reach out and grasp it. Breathing slow and even, pulse steady.
Chihiro drifts off with his mouth watering.
Later in the night he wakes, and the scent is still there, Hiroki in the bed so close by smelling like prey for the eating. Slow and sleepy, he sits up and says, “Hey, Hiroki?”
No answer but an unconscious sigh, and then Hiroki rolls over onto one side, facing the wall, his back entirely open. He’s slim, too, even in the dim light Chihiro can practically count his vertebrae, and in counting become lost in a dreamy imagining of what they might taste like when crushed between his teeth.
He's moving before he’s even really aware of it, like a sleepwalker, crawling the short distance from his nest of blankets to the edge of the bed. The closer he gets, the more the scent fills his nose until he’s certain he can taste it, the siren call of fresh meat making his mouth hang open. He leans forward and presses his face close to the back of Hiroki’s neck and breathes it in, drowsy and hungry, and oh, it would be so easy to taste, so easy to bite—
He’s scrambling backwards right as Hiroki wakes up with a startled snarl of, “What the fuck do you think you’re, Chihiro, what the fuck.”
Chihiro’s already hiding himself in his blankets again as he stammers out, “Sorry, I’m, I don’t, I mean, I think I was asleep, I think I was dreaming, I’m sorry.”
Hiroki stares at him for a long moment, looking affronted and alarmed, and then says, “Just stay off my bed and don’t be a fucking freak. Go back to sleep.”
Chihiro mumbles assent and pulls a blanket over his head. “I’m sorry,” he says again, even as he rolls the scent around his mouth, the memory of that pulse so close to his teeth, and tries to pretend that his stomach isn’t growling.
---
after the war of the words has ceased all that’s left is the deafening silence
.
The staff of the orphanage was always minimal, and with the death of the principal the others all fled, leaving Mizuki to handle everything. Her mother has somehow managed to transfer the orphanage accounts to her, so managing things isn’t especially difficult. They’re mostly self-sufficient, anyway; most of what the children eat, they grow themselves, and they’re all learning to cook together.
Tonight they’re making rice bowls. The rice is already cooking, of course. Two of the older girls are cutting up vegetables, a younger boy is mixing a sauce, and Mizuki is cutting tofu. The tofu is homemade too; she’s been consistently surprised and delighted by how good it is. She was mostly a vegetarian already before coming here, for reasons that she doesn’t ever plan on explaining to anyone here, but the food they make together has made it a pleasure.
The girls are singing a song together, cheerful and bright, and as Mizuki looks up to ask if they can teach her the words, her knife slips and opens a red gash along one finger. She yelps, dropping the knife and grabbing for a square of paper towel to keep from bleeding on the tofu.
The kitchen has gone still.
The girls are staring at the bloody knife, now on the floor next to Mizuki’s feet. The boy, Kuhi, is frozen with his whisk in the sauce, gaze fixed on her cut finger. Mizuki stares back at them, blood soaking into the paper towel, and for a moment.
For a moment.
She feels hunted.
And then the children all visibly shake themselves and she fights the feeling back and says, “Kuhi, could you go get the kitchen first aid kit, please? Natsu, please find me another knife, I’ll get this one into the sink but I don’t want to use it on the food anymore until it’s been thoroughly cleaned. Shina, I’d appreciate it if you’d check to make sure none of the tofu got blood on it, we should throw away any that’s gotten contaminated.”
They all nod, and Kuhi runs to the corner of the kitchen where the first aid kit is stored while Mizuki gets her knife into the sink and washes her hands. It’s not a bad cut when it’s cleaned, it was just the location making it look nasty.
Kuhi bumps her elbow with his head when he comes back, affectionately, and says, “Do you need me to help you bandage it?”
She nods. “That’d be very helpful, Kuhi, thank you.”
The tension doesn’t come back into the room, even when he’s wrapping gauze around her finger and taping it closed. Smiling, she reaches out and brushes hair from his face with her uninjured hand. “Thank you very much, Kuhi. I appreciate your help.”
He nods, smiling brightly at her. “Of course, Miss Mizuki.” The end of the tape goes neatly into place. “We love you.”
“I know.” She hugs him, watching Shina hesitate over the trash can before she throws away the few cubes of bloodied tofu. “I love you all too.”
#mizusawa haruka#izumi nanaha#takayama jin#chihiro amazons#nagase hiroki#mizusawa mizuki#fanfiction#30 day shuffle challenge
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Pre-relationship 2, 4, 6, love 2, 11, and general 4 for stoja and rosy and dorotea and Adam!
babe... ily
Stoja/Rosy
2.What was their first impression of each other?
Rosy was very impressed with Stoja and how she won the assignment! Stoja was like “hot man im going to ruin his life.” though he was an asshole and was gonna have fun messing with him!
4. Who felt romantic feelings first?
Stoja probably. Rosy is too busy going “no no no no” to realize while stoja is going “yes yes yes yes.”
6.If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?
oooh i dont think stoja would take it well. she would think it’s a joke bc the only reason she starts flirting with him is bc she thinks its funny to watch him squirm lol. and theres like 8 different reasons by rosy wouldn’t take it well lmao
2. What are their primary love languages?
rosy’s is quality time and stoja’s is physical touch
11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?
i feel like i have a better one somewhere but for now im gonna saw howl by florence and the machine
4.Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?
Stoja’s dated around but this is her first long term commitment. also the first man shes ever dated!
Dorotea/Adam
2.What was their first impression of each other?
not great tbh. Tea did not appreciate adam acting apathetic towards the town and acting like he knew best and adam didnt like that tea kept telling him to shut the fuck up
4. Who felt romantic feelings first?
adam!
6.If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?
again, i don’t think they would be super pleased at first but would take it much better than stoja or rosy! they would understand there’s some kernel of truth in there that they accept
2. What are their primary love languages?
adam’s is acts of service and tea’s is quality time!
11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?
the promise and i dont mind by sturgill simpson
4.Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?
they’re not like the first first anything i think but its definitely the first relationship either of them have had in a very long time
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My Top 88 Songs Of 2020
Previously: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011
Though we couldn’t get as trim as last year’s 75, still very happy to keep this under 100 for the second year in a row. This was a very difficult year in many ways, but music helped make it more bearable.
As always, criteria and info:
This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective
No artist is featured more than once
If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track
Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs
Usually a pump up video goes here, but 2020 had a different energy, so Michael, take us in.
88) Katy Perry - “Smile”
Even Katy Perry’s good songs are a swirling spiral of maxed out auto-tune. This one is just fine. It’s... fine.
87) All Time Low - “Trouble Is...”
Is All Time Low the Katy Perry of pop punk?
86) Tee Grizzley f/ Payroll Giovanni - “Payroll”
I have never heard of Payroll Giovanni, but I have two questions:
1) Is this his song, and he got Tee to jump on it?
2) Or, did Tee write a song called “Payroll” and think to himself “You know who would be great on this? Payroll Giovanni!”
Favorite stretch:
Listen, we is not the same, you say "door", I say "dough"
You say "floor", I say "flow", you say "for sure", I say "fa'sho"
85) Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande - “Rain On Me”
Coming out in 2020 probably hurt this song, because I have no, like, out of the house memories with it. You can only have so much fun with Big Singers Singing over a pulsing beat when it’s coming from the phone in your kitchen as you’re indifferently scrambling eggs.
84) Benjamin Gibbard - “Life In Quarantine”
Now this is a song you can do nothing to; almost feels like it’s reluctant to even exist. It got released in March of 2020, so the outro (“No one is going anywhere soon”) served as a too sad reminder/mantra for what the year was about to be. Second shout out to Gibbard for the many YouTube sets he put together during the early stages of the pandemic (when so many of his peers were trying to figure out the next move).
83) Cardi B f/ Megan Thee Stallion - “WAP”
This felt less like a song and more of a “whoa, did you see the music video?!” and/or a means to relitigate the eternal question “What is the sexual line in music?” And while it was fun to watch people freak the fuck out... the quality itself really needed to be better.
(Note: YouTube video is the edited chorus; explicit version here)
82) McKayla Maroney - “Wake Up Call”
Former Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney -- of medals and memes fame -- dips her toe into the music waters. It’s inside-the-box modern pop music. One thing that’s hard to escape: it doesn’t really sound like her.
81) Chelsea Cutler - “Sad Tonight”
He vocals really remind me of Alessia Cara.
80) blink-182 - “Quarantine”
Blink doing a Bad Religion impression. Docked a few points for the very weak chorus lyrics (“Quarantine, fuck this disease”). That said, as serious as the song comes off, there are some clever punchlines to be found.
79) Dave Hause & Brian Fallon - “Long Ride Home”
This is kind of a nothing song, but it’s easy listening. Also, if your guitar leads can’t clear the “Could Bobby have written or performed this?” bar, then said leads are probably pretty weak.
78) Travis Scott & Kid Cudi - “THE SCOTTS”
Two artists who pair so well together, it’s hard to tell who exudes more influence on the track (eh, that’s not true, it’s Travis Scott, but Kid Cudi is more of a roommate than guest). They want you to be high by the time the instrumental outro hits.
77) The Strokes - “Bad Decisions”
The beginning sound feels somewhat evolved, but by the time Julian Casablancas croons “Making bad decisions”, the song feels like it could be on their debut album “Is This It?”. And it goes in and out like that from there.
76) Thundercat - “Dragonball Durag”
Thundercat is one of those artists I wish I liked more, but when the occasional track does hit, it’s a momentary glimpse into what real fans seem to always see.
75) TI f/ Lil Baby - “Pardon”
Standard fare. Lil Baby’s cameo is very meh.
74) Porches - “Do U Wanna”
For a song that repeatedly asks “Do you want to dance?”, it sure makes you feel like you’re moving in slow motion.
73) NOFX - “Thatcher Fucked The Kids”
On the best-named album of the year (“West Coast vs. Wessex”), Frank Turner and NOFX cover each other’s material. To start us off, the legends take a song from 12 years ago about British politics from 40 years ago and, well, very easily apply it to right god damn now in America.
72) The Bombpops - “Dearly Departed”
Ahh, my year’s first cancelled concert. The listed names in V1 always make me want to skip this song -- but patience, grasshopper. Chorus is aight.
71) Ratboys - “Alien With A Sleep Mask On”
This band name will never match what the music sounds like.
70) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “She’s There”
The vocals in this song channel, like, four completely different singers for me, ranging from Bob Dylan to Cloud Nothings.
69) NOBRO - “Don’t Die”
An anthemic chorus meant to be belted in a room with sweaty strangers.
68) Oliver Tree f/ blink-182 - “Let Me Down”
The original solo version of this song is 1:52, and though the blink cameo pushes it over the dreaded two minute mark, it adds enough diversity to justify the choice (keep an eye out for the quick Green Day lyrical nod in the back half).
67) AJJ - “Normalization Blues”
This dropped in January, and if you thought the year was bad then. Punk News:
I'll admit I do want the album to age badly because I really don't want to have to listen to it years later and still say this is the world we're living in.
Said album being titled “Good Luck Everybody” is straight cryptic.
66) Selena Gomez - “Rare”
Very chill for big pop; triplet rhythm singing in the chorus gets me erry time.
65) Kid Cudi & Eminem - “The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady”
Cudi’s second split collab yields bigger results than his Travis Scott joint (admittedly with a worse beat here). It rarely ever hurts to let Eminem do the heavy lifting.
64) Alkaline Trio - “Smokestack”
A little cheerier than the average Alk3 song, but Dan Andriano seems like he’s been in a great place for a long time now; confident and in control. For me, the whole song builds up to the “You changed my life” chorus.
63) Frank Turner - “Scavenger Type”
Here, Frank takes on the acoustic closer to NOFX’s legendary 1994 album “Punk In Drublic”. Though the energy boost is most noticeable, my favorite part is how you can hear how much Turner loves this song as his melody bursts on the verses.
62) Mike Posner - “Alone In A Mansion”
Mike Posner, an artist I have a very soft spot for, released a storytelling concept album in 2020. From the intro track:
This album was written, recorded, and produced over a period of two weeks in Detroit, Michigan in my parents' basement.
It's meant to be listened to all the way through. At least on the first listen. And it's about 36 minutes long.
If you can't devote 36 minutes of undivided attention to this album, I again politely ask that you turn it off and return at a later time.
I love you and I thank you for taking the time to listen in the first place.
Also, it's important to note that the characters and the stories in this album are completely fictional. In addition, anyone struggling with a mental illness - depression, schizophrenia - should not listen to this album. Turn it off.
So those are the stakes. Pulling this song -- the record’s closer -- feels unfair void of context, but them’s the breaks.
61) Nada Surf - “Just Wait”
Heavy hitting chorus without having to be heavy; this could really work in a movie.
60) Matt Pond PA - “Wild Heart”
This having only 805 views on YouTube is criminal.
59) Liquid Death - “Unnecessary And Unimpressive”
Liquid Death -- in this iteration -- is a punk rock supergroup with members of Rise Against, Anti-Flag, The Lawrence Arms, and The Bombpops. If that didn’t interest you enough, all lyrics in the project (which, I believe, is for charity) come from hateful comments or negative reviews. Of the four artists involved, this sounds most like a Bombpops song, with Jen on lead vocals as others chime in.
58) PUP - “Rot”
Off my silver medalist for album name of the year (“This Place Sucks Ass”), PUP doesn’t do anything new here, but it was relieving to see them still going in 2020 when so many others got roadblocked, both physically and creatively.
57) Paul Harrold and the Nuclear Bandits - “Massanutten”
This reminds me of local Chicago artist Al Scorch. So much earnestness in the vocals, but a little more prairie for Harrold compared to speakeasy for Scorch. This would be a good road trip song. And I’m not talking about singalong... more for the stretch where you want to sit in silence and look out at the sun-kissed land blazing by. The song’s greatest victory is getting me to like something that cracks 6:00.
Note to future me: Massanutten is in Virginia (saved you a Google).
56) Kesha f/ Sturgill Simpson, Brian Wilson & Wrabel - “Resentment”
Kesha has been vulnerable in the past but never this stripped down sonically; the chorus would feel right at home on a country radio station. Love a good bridge, too.
55) Megan Thee Stallion f/ Beyoncé - “Savage (Remix)”
An up-and-comer pairing with a legend rarely lets down when both sides are this locked in. Bey wins. Fav line: “If you don't jump to put jeans on, baby, you don't feel my pain”.
She matches flows with Megan but also brings melody. Her blessing takes this song from pretty damn good to undeniably great.
That beat, too.
54) Red City Radio - “Baby Of The Year”
If all you want to do right now is grab a drink in a bar, here is a video built to troll.
(Also: a Liquid Death cameo?!)
53) Nathaniel Rateliff - “And It’s Still Alright”
The last time Mr. Rateliff had our attention, he just wanted a drink. That hit had a chorus with the very-sad-when-removed-from-the-song “If I can't get clean, I'm gonna drink my life away” lyric. Well, our man got sober since. And when the party is over, the introspection comes.
52) Direct Hit! - “HAVE YOU SEEN IT?”
Listening to slowed down Direct Hit! is like watching Usain Bolt lightly jog. It kinda makes sense because the core action is there, but it also feels sort of incorrect.
51) Hayley Williams - “Dead Horse”
Solo Hayley songs have this feel like they could do anything at any time... but then don’t. This one does the same until a very fun chorus breaks it up.
50) Kid Cudi f/ Phoebe Bridgers - “Lovin’ Me”
Probably the most improbable collab on this list (if 2020 hadn’t repeatedly taught us to not be surprised by anything).
49) The Homeless Gospel Choir - “Don’t Compare”
Listening to The Homeless Gospel Choir is kind of like getting a dedicated pep talk from a good friend... while fire rains down from the sky.
48) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Let’s Sort The Whole Thing Out”
Queen vocals with one prince of a tempo; this chorus is Sour Patch Kids riding Twix logs down a soda pop waterfall -- and it’s a b-side.
47) Green Day - “Meet Me On The Roof”
I like this song because it reminds me of summer and because it doesn’t really sound like Green Day (but still totally does).
46) Broadway Calls - “Meet Me On The Moon”
Promise -- swear -- I was gonna compare this Broadway Calls song to Green Day before realizing they both had titles about meeting in an escalated location. That said, I did put them next together on purpose to more coherently make this point.
45) David Rokos - “Building Bridges”
My buddy Dave wrote this song, and I think I’ve asked him three times what “burning sugar” meant (he says it’s a reference to absinthe). This song will make you want to travel to enjoy not only the places but the people around you.
44) Charli XCX - “claws”
Charli XCX keeps it futuristic in a video that could be described as sexy, cheesy, goofy, and playful-yet-serious.
43) Brian Fallon - “Lonely For You Only”
This is too easy and should not work (and maybe doesn’t). But that chorus... that circular phrasing... it still takes me all the way out. But I’m the same cat who proposed while a Gaslight Anthem cover was playing.
42) Waxahatchee - “Fire”
This song could be in a different language and hit just as hard.
41) Harry Styles - “Adore You”
Purifying pop.
40) Local H - “Hold That Thought”
Hardest rock song thus far. Local H was one of the first artists to play “live” once the lockdown hit (on a simultaneous YouTube/Facebook stream), and watching them attack music in their Chicago practice bunker felt a little bit like taking in the end of the world. New songs, old songs, covers -- it didn’t matter; their cool, unmatched apathy fits a pandemic or peacetime.
Ironically, was able to see them live in 2020, as they played a socially distanced, outdoor drive up concert in a minor league baseball parking lot. It wasn’t the same, but it was still something.
39) Crazy & The Brains - “I Don’t Deliver Pizza Anymore”
This song is just cool*. The verses feel tense and crucial, it starts to unspool in the pre-chorus, and the chorus itself feels like a light comedown more than anything else.
(* - though the lyric video is docked some points for spelling y’all as “ya’ll”)
38) Drake f/ Fivio Foreign & Sosa Geek - “Demons”
Menacing Drizzy can be very fun from time to time. Also more than happy to keep “Toosie Slide” very far away from this list.
37) Hey Dad!!! - “Life’s Alright”
Small band, big song; though summer feels light-years away.
36) insignificant other - “i’m so glad i feel this way about you”
This song lands a big haymaker in the first few seconds, so it was probably a good call to pull back some for the chorus and, eventually, outro.
35) BTS - “Dynamite”
Heard they made the lyrics bad on purpose for their English hit, which makes sense, because they’re bad. That said, if you listen knowing they’re supposed to be bad, it kinda makes them... good? Listen, 771 million views would have me singing nursery rhymes in Pig Latin.
34) DaBaby f/ RODDY RICCH - “ROCKSTAR”
Someone said this could be the song of the summer, but, because there wasn’t really a summer, I feel like I only heard it once all year. Also, are we really pretending Post Malone* didn’t just do a “like a rockstar” song three years ago?
(* - and N.E.R.D. before that and Cypress Hill before that... though N.E.R.D. only waiting a year after Cypress, so maybe DaBaby actually was patient)
33) The Front Bottoms - “the hard way”
Don’t take it easy on the animal / I am the animal
Not quite sure what this line means, but I fixate on the phrasing every single time. This song sounds resigned in a very self-aware way.
32) The 1975 - “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)”
For a band called The 1975, they sure sound like they’re on their ‘80s shit here. Also, a real thing that happened:
Me: Is he coercing her to get naked?! I thought this band was woke.
/scans lyrics
/notices “She said” before the “Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes” line
Me: Ahh.
Sax solo, take us out.
31) Charly Bliss & PUP - “It’s Christmas And I Fucking Miss You”
A song that is already a forever staple on all my future Xmas playlists.
30) 2 Chainz f/ Ty Dolla $ign & Lil Duval - “Can’t Go For That”
Shorty said she love me / I said “I love me back”
This is a real genre blur; rap at its core, but also soulful, funky, and very danceable. Damn creative.
29) Billie Eilish - “Therefore I Am”
Billie's 2020 gave a few singles -- but no new album -- and a body shaming scandal where the backlash to the backlash probably caused more headlines than the tweet that started it all. Still, she stays on cruise control above the clouds; can all eyes be on you if they can’t even make you out?
Video for this is fun, too. Not sure if her running amok in an empty mall is more of a COVID necessity or commentary on the dying retail industry. As always with her, fill in your own blanks for now.
28) Future f/ Drake - “Life Is Good”
This was my most listened to rap song in the first half of the year, and bumping again now, almost forgot how good it is. Drake just chasing one-liner Instagram captions in the first half:
- “Haven’t done my taxes, I’m too turnt up”
- “N****s caught me slipping once, OK, so what?”
- “B****, this is fame not clout, I don’t even know what that’s about”
And, of course, “Workin’ on the weekend like usual”. The man could make anything glamorous. Let’s hit that H&R Block, bro!
Future’s back half is a totally different song and feels mostly like noise, but the vibe is cool, so I don’t even totally mean that in a bad way. You can even make out a “Got Promethazine in my blood and Percocet” lyric to mark your Future bingo card and immediately move on.
27) I’m Glad It’s You - “The Silver Cord”
This song feels like cold air blowing on the back of your neck.
(Sidebar: thought this band was called The Silver Cord until literally right now)
26) The Spill Canvas - “Mercy”
A dreamy, distorted, at-home version of whatever you remember The Spill Canvas sounding like. This song is confessional and at peace, with the Grade A self-loathing we’ve come to love from this band.
25) 100 gecs f/ Charli XCX, Rico Nasty & Kero Kero Bonito - “ringtone (remix)”
100 gecs first hit my radar with the explosively obnoxious “money machine”, but that’s a 2019er, so this remix to “ringtone” will have to do. It’s catchy like a younger sibling persistently singing a song you’re sick of hearing*.
(* - /only child trying to work in sibling analogies)
24) iann dior f/ Machine Gun Kelly & Travis Barker - “Sick And Tired”
Iann Dior -- ...yeah -- channels Juice WRLD on the hook, and MGK/Travis Barker buoy a track that, honestly, doesn’t really even need the help.
23) Nick Lutsko - “Unleash Your Spirit”
Lutsko hit my radar on Twitter with some legendary political anthems (word to the RNC and Dan Bongino + his Dashboard Trump parody). “Unleash Your Spirit” is the song I most fear hearing (or even thinking of) within a few minutes of going to bed. Not because it’s Halloween theme is scary -- because it’s that god damn catchy. It permeates your brain. True story: a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with “Bobbing for apples with the boys” so ingrained in my head, it felt like someone was standing there yelling it through a megaphone.
22) Dogleg - “Kawasaki Backflip”
Bad 2020 robbed many concerts from us, and not getting to see this band live might take the cake. I end the year liking them but could have been *all in* with the right performance and the right venue. Also, Song Title of the Year until further notice.
21) Eminem f/ Juice WRLD - “Godzilla”
Eminem has all of the words and all of the lyrical dexterity, but sometimes it feels like there isn’t anything to ground him. Enter: one of the best beats he’s ever spit on and a Juice WRLD hook to give it pop angle. But let’s not put Slim in the corner -- when he starts accelerating at the end, it’s is a true “holy fuck” moment. It sounds faster than if you actually fast forwarded.
The video ends with a touching audio message from Juice WRLD.
20) Soccer Mommy - “circle the drain”
This song is so gloriously ‘90s; it leans in and does not care.
19) Sam Russo - “Always Lost”
The first time I met you, we were on the last bus
You passed me a bottle, and I knew you were one of us
Took 25 words to hook me; I was txting friends before the first chorus even hit.
18) Sincere Engineer - “Trust Me”
Deanna Belos pushes her vocals in this one. I asked about the performance, and she said it was one of the first ones they recorded in the studio, but when they were done and listening back to everything, she re-did this track because her throat was much more used to what the song required.
“That’s why it sounds like I’m on roids lol,” she added.
17) Jay Electronica f/ JAY-Z - “Flux Capacitor”
Jay Electronica signed to Roc Nation in November of 2010. At of the start of 2020, he had still -- STILL HOW FUCKING STILL -- not released a debut album. When he announced it was finally dropping in February, it was met with skeptic eyes. He’d “announced” before. Shit, he’d even posted track lists of albums that never saw the light of day. He was a tease’s tease. It ended up getting a release date of March 12. As the pandemic got really bad in the March 11 zone, he finally had an actual reason to delay the proceedings (the plan: a studio live stream listening party*).
But no -- this is Jay Electronica. Why wouldn’t he drop as the world was ending? The same reason why his costar wouldn’t not have a watch like a Saudi prince. It had to end for it to happen. I wish I saved the memes, because they were fantastic. All I have is my own Twitter memory to prove it happened:
I love this song entirely: the “get the gat” hook (soooo New Orleans), Hov calling out the NFL/acquaintances clout chasing his potential death/rapping forever bars, Jay Elect’s ham-fisted and awkward ass Farrakhan line. Everything is exactly where it should be.
Final verdict on the full album: I don’t know, a B or B+? It had a lot more Jay-Z than expected (wooo), but -- and I rarely say this -- it could have actually been longer.
16) New Found Glory - “Greatest Of All Time”
NFG with a song referencing the Jordan-Rodman-Pippen Bulls only a few months before “The Last Dance” aired. Dare we call it marketing genius? The punk beat does not care; the punk beat is too busy taking souls.
15) Dave Hause f/ Amythyst Kiah & Kam Franklin - “Your Ghost”
“I can’t breathe”
On the heels of the George Floyd/BLM protests came Dave Hause’s somber attempt to capture the moment, desperation, and hurt. On a podcast, he said he was aware he might not ever lead the movement but still wanted to contribute something in an effort to use his platform as a white artist to change someone, anyone’s mind going forward.
14) Taylor Swift - “this me trying”
The chorus makes me feel like the crowd is parting like the Red Sea on a high school -- shit, no, middle school -- dance floor; smoke machine and all. Your crush is waiting for you on the other side. What are you going to say?
13) Phoebe Bridgers - “Kyoto”
Phoebe is one of the best lyricists out because of her specificity, but even though this song is about her dad, you can really fit it to your own narrative.
12) The Lawrence Arms - “Last, Last Words”
The Lawrence Arms wrote their new record (which singer Chris McCaughan described as “this end of the world outpost”) prior to the pandemic, but once you start to process album themes -- and research its namesake -- you do wonder. All of this, combined with some “Catcher In The Rye” references, and we’ve got ourselves a winning formula.
Dressed to kill for oblivion
11) New Lenox - “Fairytale Of Gary, Indiana”
Your boy plays drums and is on the cover art for this one. Dave Rokos wrote the tune, which references The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York”. Good news: no slurs in the Gary version. We’ll have you in and out in 90 seconds. Also: say hello to the recording debut of Alisa Caruso (some backup vox at the end).
10) Beach Slang - “Tommy In The 80s”
My most played song of 2020, but it really was more of a byproduct of how early in the year the album dropped. I’m still such a sucker for it, though. Other than forced nostalgia, not totally sure what the track is about. Did learn Beach Slang recruited former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson to play on their LP, which was named -- /deepest of breaths -- “The Deadbeat Bang of Heartbreak City” (so maybe it has something to do with that).
9) Juice WRLD f/ Mashmello - “Come & Go”
The :55 mark. Wait until the :55 mark. When the guitar kicks in and tempo doubles, we have a real “oh, shit!” moment. I knew who Juice was when he passed but only “Liquid Dreams”. His 2020 album (“Legends Never Die”) showed us of what could have been; 55 minutes, loaded with cameos and creativity and experimentation. This song had me in its gravitational pull immediately. By the end of the year, they were using it on sports broadcasts, and it felt like a ubiquitous part of the culture.
One of my favorite days of 2020 was visiting the Juice mural in Chicago with my wife. We went impulsively during the day after someone posted a picture on Twitter.
I snapped one of my own and posted to IG with the Signals Midwest lyric “There is such quiet grace in private moments in public spaces”. The band responded with “RIP JUICE”; the perfect online exchange.
Shortly after, I was out with a different group of friends, and we went back at night. This time, it was protected by a fence you had to squeeze past. When we got through, there were kids in there smoking, taking pictures, just hanging out; empty liquor bottles lined the bottom of the mural. Even though it didn’t take all that long to make it there, it still felt like a journey and total ‘movie moment in real life’; a complete rarity in a year like 2020.
8) Mac Miller - “Good News”
Maybe I’ll lay down for a little...
Sadly continuing the theme of artists gone too soon, we have this reflective Mac Miller single, which feels more like self-eulogy than traditional rap. You feel it the entire time. The song crests with “There’s a whole lot more for me waitin’ on the other side”, and it conveys a readiness for whatever happens next.
7) The Dirty Nil - “Done With Drugs”
I don’t pray to Jesus or even own a suit
We lost the creators of our last two songs to substances, and, if we are to take this song at face value, The Dirty Nil don’t want to go down the same path. Drying out never sounded so cool and defiant... until the IKEA suggestion.
6) The Weeknd - “Blinding Lights”
Uptempo Abel is undefeated. My favorite pop song of 2020 has you feeling like you’re speeding through the empty streets of nighttime Las Vegas in a stolen car; indifferent to your environment, only tuned in to your personal desire.
And, on the lamer side of the spectrum, it spawned a catchy TikTok dance.
5) Spanish Love Songs - “Self-Destruction (As A Sensible Career Choice)”
It won’t be this bleak forever... yeah, right.
SLS has always been over-the-top with their lyrics spotlighting the hopelessness of the human condition -- so it was the *perfect* combo to being locked inside with nothing looking to forward to. Bonus: fun cake video.
Though the song’s core is uncut despair, a random moment I remember from 2020 was my wife telling me “I can hear you smiling as you’re singing” from another room as I belted the despondent chorus.
4) Worst Party Ever - “False Teeth”
This song sounds like The Front Bottoms; insecure yet so full.
3) Run The Jewels - “the ground below”
There were a lot of songs *about* 2020, but I’m not sure any artist soundtracked what being alive now is like more than RTJ. My favorite rap song and rap record of 2020.
Fav Killer Mike line: “Not a holy man, but I'm moral in my perversiveness / So I support the sex workers unionizing their services”
Fav El-P line: “I'll slap a dying child he don't pronounce my name correct”
2) The Menzingers - “America Pt. 2″
The Menzingers unexpectedly released an acoustic, re-done version of 2019′s “America (You’re Freaking Me Out)” single. It dropped on my birthday -- June 5th, 2020 -- as the rage in this country boiled over and protesters took to the streets. Though some of the lyrics remained the same, the new ones were changed with true purpose:
Well George Floyd was murdered by a cop
The whole world saw the video and watched
Now justice is long overdue
Grab your pitchforks, we’re heading to Pennsylvania Avenue
I had nothing left when the first pre-chorus hit: “I hope the Devil and Donald and Mitch McConnell rot in hell for all tomorrows”. Tattoo this on my fucking soul.
All funds from the song were donated to Community Bail Funds (via Act Blue) & Campaign Zero. I purchased the track before hearing a note.
1) Machine Gun Kelly - “My Bloody Valentine”
Going into the year, I couldn’t tell you the difference between Machine Gun Kelly and Mac Miller -- now they’re both fixtures in this Top 10. All I really knew about MGK involved tattoos and a rap battle lost to Eminem (not that anyone ever beats Eminem).
In 2020, he took a punk/emo turn, with the services of GOAT drummer Travis Barker and new squeeze Megan Fox at his side. This song’s lyrics could potentially be cheesy but aren’t -- they all land. From the simulation going bad to not wanting “fake love” to all the damn second guessing and the earnestness that just won’t let you off the mat.
Every piece to the puzzle adds something: the messy hair, the Ken doll build, the forced iconic pink guitar that now feels actually iconic. It was almost like no one had any fun this year so he could have all of it on our behalf. There’s a half second shot of him sticking his tongue our during the pre-chorus, a joy 99.99% of us never got to feel.
The album itself was just as fantastic*; a 2000′s pop punk throwback with a Halsey duet, horrible skits (hi, Pete Davidson FaceTime), OpIvy lyrical nod (complete with a royalty check), a warp speed punk track that doesn’t even crack the minute mark, your token 6/8 ballad, acoustic closer (about his daughter), and some experimentation that leaves the new genre but still stays nearby; shades of Lil Peep, if he had Blink-182 as his backing band. Speaking of, please do not miss Travis’ fill at the 2:30 mark.
(* - named “Tickets To My Downfall”... woof)
MGK could get cancelled tomorrow, but we’ll always have this year in a bottle. The acoustic version of the song (sung in a lower resister), the 10 minute making of video (that I watched, uh, twice)... shit, he even turned it into a medley at the start of 2021.
It might be cliche to say “stay winning”, but when someone stacks this many W’s with no end in sight, what the fuck else do you call it? Real love.
* * *
Thank you so much for reading. Here is the Spotify playlist (includes 87 of the 88 songs).
#machine gun kelly#bts#selena gomez#hayley williams#the menzingers#rtj#run the jewels#the weeknd#the dirty nil#mac miller#mgk#juice wrld#phoebe bridgers#2020#music#lists#taylor swift#sincere engineer#jay-z#sam russo#jay electronica#100 gecs#charli xcx#blink-182#pup#travis barker#megan fox#billie eilish#soccer mommy#drake
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oooh 3, 5, 10?? 💗
3. remember to breathe - sturgill simpson
favorite lyrics: so peel it off, pull em down / let me see it, turn around / just lay back and let it happen / and remember to breathe (sturgill simpson top 10 horny momence)
5. ronin - sturgill simpson
this song is pretty much instrumental but it fucks hard. also in case u were wondering the top section of my top songs is fairly dominated by a specific sturgill simpson album that i like to listen to while i walk my dog thats why theres so much of him. i was in the top 0.5% of sturgill simpson listeners lmaoo
10. hounds of love - kate bush (finally smth not sturgill for you)
favorite lyrics: the hounds of love are hunting / ive always been a coward / and i dont know whats good for me
send me a number between 1 and 100 and i’ll tell you the corresponding song on my wrapped + my favorite lyric from that song :)
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