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creekfiend · 1 year

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Re: my tags on the plurality post I just reblogged. I realize this may not be well known information so. Here is the You're Wrong About ep about "multiple personality disorder"

There is a very good transcript available on that page if you are not able to listen to the podcast.

The tl;dr is that the entire phenomenon of "MPD" as we conceptualize it popularly is extraordinarily closely linked to both the phenomena of "repressed childhood abuse memories" and, necessarily, the satanic panic. There is this idea of like, certain types of abuse which somehow cause the "self" to "shatter" in some objective way that can itself be used as concrete evidence OF that abuse... and that's pretty much from 1 book in the 70s that became a huge cultural phenomenon. There's a citation in the podcast transcript here for a book which picks that apart called Sybil Exposed by Debbie Nathan where you can learn more about that specific case. It's also worth mentioning that the "MPD as a result of childhood abuse/repressed memories of childhood abuse" thing actually became a significant issue in legal matters where psychologists were coercing people into inventing repressed abuse memories in order to provide "evidence" to incarcerate people. It was a whole thing.

Here is an excerpt from the transcript that I like:

Sarah: Yeah. And immediately, it becomes just a cultural phenomenon. The author gets bushels of letters, almost all of them from American women and girls. And a lot of them write about feeling like they don't have multiple personality disorder, but they feel like they have all these different selves and different people they are at different times. And it's like, yeah, because being a woman in 1973 means that you in a very obvious way, sociologically are being torn between all of these positions in society. It's like, you want to be a good daughter, but you want to have sex and you want to maybe have a job or stay home and iron a little, I don't know. Mike: And probably a lot of unaddressed traumas too. I mean, probably a lot of the people had seen terrible things and we're still dealing with the trauma of it. And this gave them somewhat of a voice to their trauma or a lens through which to view their trauma that, you know, something happened to you that day and I'm still dealing with it because it's not like in 1973, society was great at being like, let's listen to people who say that they have trauma.

So like, none of this is to say that DID "isn't real" or that any way of framing having a lot of conflicting parts of oneself or different internal selves or whatever is bad or not useful. It is self evidently very useful for many people.

However. Our cultural understanding of what it means to have "other personalities" specifically AS A RESULT OF TRAUMA, as like, this objective THING that takes place inside your brain when something is DONE to you... is like a VERY culturally specific concept.

And obviously DID/plural/system stuff is often quite distinct from "MPD" style framing of multiple selves. Specifically the psychologist obsession with MPD often revolves around the "solving" or integration of selves, whereas plural/system people I know tend to decry that. Theres many other differences also. HOWEVER I think that learning about the history of how this has been framed and who invented a lot of the commonly accepted "facts" about it is like... really important. In terms of being able to control your own experience of conceptualizing your internal state. Regardless of what framing and models you find to be useful or true. Like... as people whose brains are constantly being pathologized and moralized we should ABSOLUTELY know about & be concerned about patterns of psychological abuse which may play into concepts we have of how our brains work. You know?

And because people are not good at taking posts like this in good faith: I know that people describing having multiple selves has been a thing in many places over many time periods, I think the experience of having more than one 'self' is real (I mean what is a self anyway, per my last reblog, right) and I have friends who are plural/systems/etc. I myself absolutely feel that I have many facets to my "self" which I do often find it helpful to conceptualize as discrete entities when I'm working through stuff. I don't personally find the framing of plurality or systemhood useful *for my self* but you know if you read this blog that means nothing in terms of whether I think it's useful or real for other people.

I just.

As a psych abuse survivor I really want us to be intentional and precise about these things and make sure we have all the information we need to make sure we aren't reinforcing some really narsty shit that's been used to hurt a lot of people.

And also to be like, whose word am I taking for this? What rules do I think this phenomenon follows and why do I think that has to be true? Like it is one thing to put words to an experience or a framework, right, and it is another to go "well the system blog I read says that one self has to be fronting at a given time so now I have to figure out which of my selves is doing that" or whatever like... with ALL frameworks for internal experiences ("diagnoses" lol) I think it's important to be like, am I taxonomizing this by describing how it is for me, or am I trying to sort my experiences into these boxes as described by someone else? And like, the latter is not good for people in general I don't think. And of course in any group or community you will get people who are prescriptive about who belongs in what categories and how your experience has to look in order to belong there or use whatever terminology. And that's not true. You can use whatever frameworks you want and if they don't fit later you can modify or discard them!

Wow I hope this is coherent. Anyway going to go ahead and make this puppy unrebloggable because lmao but I am happy to talk about it with people so please feel free to leave replies or asks as long as no one is yelling at me and accusing me of like, denying experiences. Because I am extremely not doing that. Ty

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tinylilemrys · 11 months

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Lonely In London

Relationship:

Trent Crimm/Ted Lasso

Additional Tags:

Angst and Romance | Romcommunism | Friends to Lovers | Romantic Comedy | Alternate Universe – Canon Divergence

Rating:

Teen And Up Audiences

Summary:

Henry, worried about how lonely his dad seems to be in London, writes into an advice podcast for some help. A podcast run by an ex-colleague of Trent's – one that he listens to religiously. If Trent falls a little for 'Lonely In London' because he reminds him of Ted, well that's just coincidence. An homage to romcommunism, largely based on 'Sleepless In Seattle' with a few others thrown in for good measure.

Next Chapter

A/N: I'm posting at least the first two chapters on Tumblr, because I have no idea when AO3 is going to be back on its feet and I know I'm looking for fanfic on here too. 💛

CHAPTER 1

It starts one relatively normal weekday in June. Henry is in the living room, with his iPad and new Richmond-branded headphones, a welcome-back-to-England gift from Jamie. Ted is a few feet away at the kitchen table, putting together his plan for the upcoming season.

He's not supposed to be working. Not yet. He's been ordered by Rebecca to take the month to focus on rest and spending as much time with Henry as possible. It's his reward for an incredibly hard-fought season.

Unfortunately Ted's never been one to take much of a break. Not when there was so much still to do.

If he's being honest, a lot of it has to do with Nate's betrayal. It stung then and it stings now and the only way Ted can think of dealing with it is by being better than they were last season. He wishes Nate all the best on his new adventure with West Ham, he really does, but it would be great to succeed in the face of Nate's spiteful turn.

He can't stop thinking about how it had cost Trent his job, and that, more than anything, makes Ted furious. The club would recover, but he could never go back to being Trent Crimm, The Independent.

His train of thought is interrupted by an excited shriek from Henry, who up until that point, Ted assumed was playing games on his iPad.

"Dad! Dad! Guess what? They used my question!" he yells, bounding up to his dad and handing him an earbud. Ted laughs, partly in confusion, partly because Henry is so earnestly excited.

"Whoa, hold on now, Bud. I'm gonna need you to take several steps back in this conversation so I have context." He pops the earbud in. "Who are you sending questions to?"

"It's this podcast called 'Help, I'm So Sad'," Henry explains. "They take questions from people who are sad and give them advice."

Ted's stomach plummets. Both he and Michelle knew it was a risk, having Henry come to London for the whole summer. The idea was to give Michelle a break to spend some time with Doc-- with her new boyfriend, while giving Ted some quality time with his son. Throw in the promise of one-on-one training with Henry's hero, Jamie Tartt, and it seemed like a solid plan, albeit one with the potential to go terribly wrong. Henry has never been away from home as long as that, and now, barely a month into his time here, it seems like Henry is so sad he had to write into a podcast about it.

"Oh, Henry," Ted manages to choke out when his breath returns to his lungs a bit. "I love that you're admitting you need help. That's a very important step that not even a lot of grownups get to. I just wish that you knew you could talk to me about these things too. What's got you so sad? Do you want to talk about it or do you just need a hug right now?"

"No, Dad, it's not for me." Henry giggles as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, and Ted feels some of the sensation come back to his hands. Maybe he's not a complete failure as a father after all. In fact, he's so relieved that his son isn't sad to the point of getting write-in advice about it, that the next sentence completely blindsides him. "I wrote to get advice for you."

Oh. Well. Shit.

"Now that was mighty thoughtful of you, Bud," he says, measuring his voice, trying not to panic. The earnest smile on his son's face tells him that all of this was done with the absolute best of intentions. He'll have to course correct on where the healthy boundaries are when it comes to personal struggles, but he can't rightly be mad at his son for something that was done out of kindness. "What did you write to them?"

"Listen," says Henry, scrubbing back a bit in the episode. Ted obeys, heart hammering against his ribcage, the foreboding bubbling up inside him, turning his stomach.

"Smidge," says a woman with a clipped English accent.

"Bits." says a voice in response.

"Lauren says we're going to love this next letter."

"Ooh, I'm listening," Her accent sounds Scottish. At least Ted won't struggle to tell their voices apart.

"It's from 'My Dad's Sad'… aged nine and a half."

Smidge gives a small squeak.

"Oh, we're not going to survive this, are we?" she says.

"Probably not," laughs Bits. "Okay here it goes. Dear HISS. My friend told me about this show. Her mom listens to it a lot, even though we're in America and you're in England. My dad is also in England, so I was hoping you would be able to give him some advice since you're right there.

"He's been very sad ever since him and my mom got divorced. My mom has a new boyfriend and they seem to be happy, but my dad is still sad. He says that he's happy with work and even though he has a really cool job that he's very good at, I can see that he isn't happy. He pretends to be and I think most of his friends at work think he is, but I know he isn't. Even though we still play catch and Minecraft and build LEGO like we used to, I can tell the whole time he's not enjoying it like he did before. He doesn't ever go out on dates or even talk to anyone except his work friends. I don't get to see him a lot, since I don't normally live in London with him, so I don't know how to help. How can I make my dad be happy again like he used to always be? Love, My Dad Is Sad, nine and a half."

"Oh bless him," says Smidge. "Well, My Dad Is Sad, I think in this case the only advice we can really give you is to talk to your dad about it. He probably doesn't know that seeing him unhappy is upsetting you as much as it is."

"Yeah, I agree," says Bits. "And maybe he hasn't given himself the permission to let the old times go yet. I know when my parents got divorced, my mum struggled a long time with letting go of what we used to be. She didn't date for ages afterwards because she said she didn't want to introduce too much change into my life, but it was really her excuse for not wanting to move on herself. And you know what, My Dad Is Sad? He sounds like a really good father even though you don't get to see him a whole lot. Sounds to me like if you talked to him about this, he would be willing to listen."

"Of course I would," says Ted, who has tears streaming down his face despite his best efforts to keep it together. He removes the earbud and pulls Henry into a tight hug. "Oh man, I didn't realise you were so worried about me, Champ."

"I try not to be," says Henry, and Ted can hear by the wobble in his voice that he's also crying. "I just wish things could be like they used to be."

"I know, I know. I do too," says Ted, rubbing Henry's back soothingly before pulling away to look him in the eyes. "But, hey, look, I need you to know that I am getting help, alright?. I have a great therapist who's helping me work through a whole bunch of things I've never ever thought to work through. Things I'll be able to explain to you properly when you're a bit older. So even though I might be sad now, and even though it might not ever go away completely, I want you to know I'm working on getting better, okay?"

"Okay," nods Henry. He wipes his arm across his eyes. "Sorry for crying so much."

"Hey now, ain't nothing wrong with a good cry," says Ted. "And in any case, I started it. So you don't get to be sorry about it even if you wanted to be."

"That's not how it works, Dad." Henry smiles a little and it's better than the sun peaking between the clouds on a rainy London day.

"Oh, shoot, you're so right." He slaps his forehead for comedic effect, this time even drawing a little giggle from his son.

I really do owe you so much, Kiddo, he thinks to himself.

"Look, would it count as a start if I wrote into these kind ladies to say thank you for the advice?" Henry nods enthusiastically and Ted laughs. "Well, that's settled then."

He saves and closes the report he was working on and opens his email.

"Dear Smidge and Bits," he says out loud as he types. "And Lauren too I guess…"

He begins typing up the email, Henry leaning against his shoulder until he gets bored and goes off to play on his iPad some more. Once he's sure that Henry's engrossed in his task again, Ted decides to give his letter a bit more context, so that they understand he's not a completely lost cause.

After reading and rereading the message again, he sends it off, taking a deep breath as it moves from his outbox to his sent folder. The afternoon sun is striping across the living room floor and Ted realises they've been too cooped up all day. It's time to head down to the Green for a kickaround.

"Hey, Bud, boot up. We're heading out."

***

It doesn't matter how many times Trent leaves Anabelle, it never gets any easier. She looks so genuinely distraught that he feels physically ill looking at her. She loves Shaun, Trent knows she does, but she's still so little, and he knows she doesn't understand what's happening to her. When Trent deposits her into her other father's arms and turns to leave, and she screams like she's being subjected to the deepest betrayal, Trent feels his heart break that little bit more.

After one last glance back at the house, where Shaun has finally managed to wrestle the door closed behind him and the screaming four-year-old, Trent sighs, sets his satnav from "Shaun's Place" to "Home" so he doesn't get lost, and reluctantly pauses the complete Bluey soundtrack. He's about to get going when he remembers that he's promised to text Ted that he's safely in Aberdeen.

He doesn't usually text Ted his whereabouts. It was all down to a chance encounter a few days ago out on the Richmond Green. He'd bumped into Ted and Henry kicking a football back and forth and when he explained that he was taking Anabelle to get her favourite ice-cream, Ted asked if he and Henry could tag along.

Trent wasn't about to find a reason to say no even if there was one.

Despite the growing pit of dread in his stomach at having to leave his daughter, he'd had a surprisingly good afternoon. While Henry and Anabelle had giggled together about whatever kids find funny at that age, Ted and Trent had talked about everything and nothing. About Trent's firing and Richmond's chances in the upcoming season. About Henry staying for the summer and about how it was Anabelle's other father's turn to take her. Trent could have spent all day there, but a huge chocolate-stained yawn from his daughter had told him it was time to say his farewells.

"Hey, I know we're not on best bud terms yet," Ted had said and Trent had smiled at the word 'yet'. Like it was an inevitability that they would be one day. "It's just I know it's a long drive to Aberdeen and it would set my mind at ease to know that you made it there safe."

"I'll text you when I get there," Trent had replied, trying to ignore the way his stomach flipped at the idea that Ted was that concerned about his safety.

"I'd appreciate it, Mr Independent." Ted had offered the most devastating wink then, and Trent knew there was no way he wasn't going to do as promised.

It's nice to have a somewhat positive excuse to text him for a change. The past few texts back have all been Trent delivering bad news, including the latest one informing Ted that he'd accidentally locked his keys in his car. Okay, maybe that had been worse for him.

Hi, Ted – in Aberdeen safely. I'm just stopping at a service station to get a coffee and a bite to eat and then should be on my way back to London. Thanks again for your concern. Hope you're having a lovely Saturday with Henry.

By the time he gets to the nearest service station, there's a voice note waiting from Ted.

"Hey TC! Thanks for the message! Glad to hear you made it to Scotland safe. Hope you're holding up okay? I know it doesn't get any easier to let go of your kiddo, no matter how many times you do the handover. Holler if you want to talk about it. Or even if you want someone to take your mind off it. I have it on good authority that my ability to talk for hours about absolutely nothing is practically a superpower."

Trent gives a little huff of laughter at the direct quote from one of his Ted Lasso articles.

"At the very least, please let me know when you're back in London again, no matter what time of the night it is. Drive safe and I'll see you around."

He probably won't – not with Trent no longer covering AFC Richmond – but it's a lovely thought all the same. As is the idea that he has an offer to call Ted for the sake of just talking to him for a bit of company. He can't imagine working up the nerve to actually take him up on it, but it's fun to imagine.

He reacts to the message with a heart emoji, and then, panicking how that might come across, changes it to a sunflower instead. Friendly. Happy. Safe.

He really is such an idiot when it comes to Ted.

Fuelled up on coffee, an overpriced BLT, and, well, actual fuel, Trent loads up the latest episode of his friend's podcast and begins the long journey back to London.

He refers to Help, I'm So Sad as his friend's podcast, but he's not sure he could actually classify Lauren as a friend. Certainly, they were colleagues for many years and she was one of the people he hated the least. She worked in a different department, covering high society. Until one day as legend had it (Trent had been covering a match that day) she'd declared loudly to everyone in the cafeteria that she couldn't take it anymore, strode out of the building, and never came back.

Though he was convinced at the time that it was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard someone do to their career, he couldn't help but admire the nerve it must have taken. Now, with the hindsight of his own firing, it seems even cooler. He wishes he could have left The Independent with his head held high, instead of with his eyes on the carpet, trying to balance the embarrassment of his dismissal with the lack of regret he felt at treating Ted like a decent human being..

In any case, Trent finds her podcast quite entertaining and listens to it as often as he can. What better remedy for his own foul mood could there be than listening to other people's problems for an hour?

At first, it's not particularly effective. The voices seem to blend into the sound of rain beating against his windshield as Trent wonders if Anabelle has stopped crying by now. If Shaun's remembered to take out her favourite bath time toys. If he still remembers all the words to her special lullaby.

It's only the phrase 'My Dad Is Sad' that draws him out of his lull.

"…then we have an exciting follow up for you," says Bits. "My Dad Is Sad's sad dad reached out to the show after hearing his son's lovely little letter."

"Ohhhh my god," says Smidge. "I'm going to be a wreck."

So am I, thinks Trent. He'd cried at the kid's letter last episode.

"Well buckle up then," says Bits. "Sorry, listeners. This one's a little on the long side, but if you're anything like us, you won't care all that much. Here we go."

Bits starts reading the letter, and Trent, indeed, doesn't care that it's longer than normal because it's perfect.

Dear Smidge and Bits (and Lauren too, I guess)

He can't help but smile at Lauren being included.

I can't say I know much about your show, other than that my sweet boy decided you were the right people to talk to about my overwhelming sadness for the past few years. I have a smart kid, and I trust his judgement, so as such, I have to thank you for the kind advice you gave him.

I want it to be known that I am in therapy and I'm working on getting myself back up on my feet. There's a lot I've been struggling with that I didn't know I was struggling with, even beyond the divorce, and as I'm working through it, I'm starting to slowly return to myself. That's not to say I have it all figured out. More than anything I'm still trying to figure out how to be a good full-time dad when I only get a fraction of the time I want with my kid.

Trent's stomach does a little somersault. As silly and parasocial as he knows it is to feel things for a person who for all intents and purposes isn't real, he can't help but be taken by this man and the way he talks about getting better for his son's sake. It's why he'd insisted on couples therapy when he was still married. It's why he immediately found a therapist for both Anabelle and him after the split. After the disaster of Shaun, there's nothing Trent finds sexier than a man who's serious about his mental health.

And that's not even touching on my love life, the lack of which seems to be causing my kid a deal of concern. It's not for lack of trying. My job makes dating a little more complicated than it is for most folks and I realise that after 20 years of being in the same relationship, I don't have the game I once thought I did. I've been in a bit of a situationship with a lovely lady on and off for the past couple years and when I tried to shift it over into the relationship zone, I was soundly and correctly shut down.

"Sounds like a mistake to me, Ma'am," mutters Trent, chastising himself even as he does. He's being ridiculous. The man could be a serial killer for all he knows. She might have actually made an incredibly intelligent decision. He doesn't know and he shouldn't care.

Now, I have a crush on a guy that it would be way too complicated to date.

Bisexuality? Now that is a plot twist. And it's not doing anything to stop the surge of affection he feels for this random anonymous person.

Not between the two of us, mind. I think we'd get along like a house on fire. We do get on like a house on fire. But it would be a bit of a PR nightmare and I don't want to put our burgeoning friendship in the line of fire like that. For that reason, I've decided tamping down my romantical feelings so I can just focus on being his friend. I think it's something we both need.

That's pobably for the best, honestly. Trent has been witness to and involved in his own fair share of PR disasters throughout his career. It rarely ends well.

All that to say, as much as I'm working on getting better, I'm honestly still pretty lonely. It's not helped by being a fish out of water in a country that only just now seems to be warming to me. I guess if I could ask any advice from my own perspective, it would be: how do you start again and put yourself out there after 20 years of being so firmly off the market, you tried to believe the market didn't exist?

Sincerely,

Lonely in London.

Smidge and Bits immediately set about providing all the advice they can, but Trent isn't really paying attention anymore.

He feels for this man. He knows what it's like to be so lonely it aches. Even in his marriage, things had been so fraught that most nights he lay next to Shaun feeling like a shell. There was always something inside him reaching out for something life sustaining that he was fundamentally lacking – like lungs trapped underwater gasping for air.

And he knows firsthand how London exacerbates that feeling. People who'd sooner spit in your face than ask you how you're doing. Cold modern buildings that make you feel insignificant in comparison. Grimy old structures that remind you the city's history spans millennia and your story is barely a blip on the radar. The contrast of windows glowing gold at night against the icy blue of the streets, reminding you that there are people that don't feel the same crushing isolation.

And, sure, Anabelle is a lifeline against the crushing loneliness, but what is he supposed to do when she's an eight hour drive away? He can't even imagine being on a different continent to his child altogether.

This is how Lonely In London consumes his thoughts for hours. Trent finds himself scrubbing back in the episode to listen to the letter again, until he practically has it committed to memory, each time feeling a deeper connection to this complete stranger.

If this man is Lonely In London, he's Isolated in Islington, and he's never related to anyone more.

If you were being honest, a nasty voice says in his head at about the four hour mark, you would admit that the reason you feel like you fancy this guy is because he reminds you of Ted.

With that final unhelpful thought, Trent knows it's time to change the subject. He finds one of his old faithful football podcasts and decides he won't spend another second more thinking about Lonely In London or Ted Lasso, even when he's brought up in discussions about Richmond's chances this season.

It's almost two in the morning when he finally gets back to his flat. He's too tired to even change out of his clothes, instead collapsing face-first onto his bed and toeing off his shoes over the side. He's about to let himself slip off to sleep when he remembers he promised Ted he'd text him when he got home. Groggily, he picks up his phone and types a quick message.

Home safe. Smooth drive home. Thanks again for the concern. Sleep well.

It's barely a minute later when his phone buzzes. Did Ted wait up for him?

Glad to hear you're home in one piece. Sleep tight, Trent Crimm. 🌻

It's only the next morning that he fully notices the sunflower and decides that with Ted Lasso around, perhaps London is a little less lonely than it used to be.

Next Chapter

#tedependent #tedtrent #ted x trent #trent x ted #ted lasso #trent crimm #ted lasso fanfic

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crescentcampbell · 29 days

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Wouldn't You Like to Know, Ch. 9

Nine

Penelope enjoyed her little, quiet life. She had wanted to be a writer for as long as she could remember, but she didn’t want all of the attention that came with it. It had been different ten, maybe even twenty years ago. Most of the time writers put out their books, maybe did some interviews, and the world left them alone. But with the internet, it was hard to maintain any sense of a quiet life no matter what your job. A person could post a video of you that they took anywhere, and you could go viral. In both good and bad ways.

Her book series, The Gossip, was so popular that most of her marketing was done by fans. Girls posted fanart of the series, edits, and costume inspiration because the book took place at a private school. There were all kinds of podcasts going over every detail and every pop culture reference that Penelope included.

Her own, personal Instagram hadn’t seen any action except for the message that she’d gotten from Colin the other day. But a few days after the press release for Wallflowers had gone out, her phone suddenly wouldn’t stop vibrating from all of the notifications that she was getting. Enough so that it woke her up from the deep sleep she had been while using her arm as a pillow at her desk.

Penelope jolted awake and found herself staring at her phone. “What the hell?” she whispered, shocked. “What the hell?”

She looked at the notifications and found that she was tagged at least a million times in pictures of her kicking Colin Bridgerton out of her apartment. “Shit!” The article read: Mystery Woman for Colin Bridgerton?

Colin Bridgerton, who was previously linked to actress Marina Thompson, has been seen coming out of a mystery apartment. Sources say the redhead in question is Penelope Featherington, a family friend of the Bridgerton’s that Colin knew from high school. Penelope and Colin both attended the same school, Whistledown Academy.

Penelope took a deep breath. “Oh, my god. Oh my god.”

She grabbed the paperwork that she had gotten from Colin the other day and used the phone number that he had left to call him. She waited a few rings and then Colin’s voice was on the phone. “Penelope, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? You bring chaos into my life and have the audacity to ask what’s wrong?”

“What are you talking about?” Colin asked.

“I’m talking about TMZ plastering my face online and now thinking that we’re sleeping together! You’ve got to delete it, please. If my mother thinks that I’m sleeping with you, there will be invitations sent out for nonexistent June wedding.”

Colin paused. “Are you really that disinterested in me? What happened to the Penelope that used to blush every time that I said hi to her in the halls? I’m feeling hurt.”

“You are ridiculous!” Penelope said. “You’ve met my mother. If you think that she won’t start booking reception halls, you don’t know Portia Featherington.”

Colin muttered something under her breath and Penelope couldn’t make out what it was but knowing Colin, it was probably something inappropriate. “You really want me to call and tell them what? That we’re not dating? Teen Penelope would be so disappointed and----”

“Fuck.”

Penelope furrowed her brows together. “Colin? Is everything okay?”

“Marinas engaged.”

Penelope coughed. “Oh----I’m sorry.”

“Pen, I can’t do a press tour for this movie getting asked questions about Marina all of the damn time.”

“The movie’s going to take a year to write and film anyway. What’s the big deal? By that time, she’ll probably be married and popping out babies.”

“Come on,” said Penelope, “what’s the big deal? You come from one of the richest families in the world, your mother has been called America’s mother, and you were one of People’s Sexiest Men alive on your eighteenth birthday and four years running after that. You’re fine.”

“Come on, Pen. Do me a favor. We can pretend to be dating. Anyway, I need someone to do research for the role.”

Penelope made face. “It’s a teen drama and you are basically going to be Nate Archibald. There’s no research to be done.”

“Really? You don’t think that the people who have waited forever to see Lulu Rochester’s debut, best-selling novel adapted deserve the best, most accurate portrayal of all of the steamy scenes that everyone loves so much?”

Penelope paused. “Are you asking me to be your intimacy coordinator?”

Colin chuckled. “No, there’s a whole lot of work that actually goes into being an intimacy coordinator. I’m asking for you to help with research purposes, you know.”

“Research purposes?” Penelope said.

Colin paused. “Yes, research purposes. This is the first time I’m going to be the leading man. I want to make sure that I do it right. I know it’s a book for teens, but it’s important to me. This could be a great launching pad.”

“And in order for it to be a great launching pad, that means that the two of us need to practice the sex scenes?”

“I do want it to be Oscar worthy, y’know?”

Penelope snorted. “The only films that win Oscars are depressing films about married, white people going through divorce or World War Two dramas. Maybe a World War One movie depending on who’s naked in it. This is a teen drama movie for Netflix.”

“Yeah, but it’s basically Cruel Intentions, only the main character is a plus size lead. No one is going to take this movie seriously if you don’t.”

Penelope scratched her head. “I’m not the author. It’s not my job to take it seriously.”

“I mean, if you could give me Lulu’s number, I could easily hook up with her instead.”

“No!” Penelope blurted. “No. It’s fine. I mean, I’m her assistant. It’s my job to help her get the very best of everything. I’ll…. I’ll help you with whatever you need.”

“Good,” said Colin, “then, we won’t worry about the TMZ pictures?”

Penelope sighed. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Always get your way.”

“I’m that good.”

“You’re annoying is what you are.”

“Bye, Pen.”

“Bye, Colin.”

The call ended and Penelope had never felt more exasperated in her life. Her heart was racing and she forgot that this was what being around the Bridgerton’s felt like. There was always something dramatic going on. That was why it was so intoxicating to be around them. She only hoped this wasn’t going to end up like the last time.

#bridgerton #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton fanfiction #polin #polin fanfic #polin fanfiction

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uses-for-fics · 2 months

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Do I make you randy?

Anders Holmvik x reader

A/n: guys it's my first time writing smut. Please go easy on me 😭 also this part of the podcast? No way did he mean it as a joke!!!

Word count: 1076

“Anders hurry up!!!” you yelled from the living room. You had finally gotten Ander's laptop connected to his living room TV. It had only taken 20 minutes but hey, were you excited for today’s movie night. It was your turn to pick the film so you decided to rewatch your favorite film of all time, ‘Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery’. You didn’t know what you liked most about the film. Austin’s goofiness, the costumes, or his overly horrible British accent that just made your stomach flip.

Your thoughts of the goofy spy got interrupted by your boyfriend walking into the living room. “You ready?” He set down the snacks he brought, onto the coffee table. “I’ve been waiting on you, ya goof.” You smiled and picked a spot on the couch. He playfully rolled his eyes and pressed play on his laptop. He took the spot next to you and covered yourselves with his blanket. “So, what film did you pick?”

Just as you were going to answer, the film's colorful title sequence started and you couldn’t help but smile sheepishly at Anders. He sighed. “No way.” You giggled. “What?”

“Babe! You choose this film every time! What’s so special about it?” Anders whined. You just smiled and patted his arm, curling into his side. “Oh come on, you know it’s just a silly goofy film I like.” Anders huffed. “Fine fine, only cause you like it, plus Mike Myers is pretty funny, but I get to choose the next two films.” You just shook your head and snuggled him tighter.

You guys got comfortable and snacked as the film played on. You couldn’t resist throwing your leg over anders leg in a way to get comfortable. Your leg twitching everytime Austin said ‘baby.’ You seriously couldn’t understand what it was about the ridiculous fictional Brit but oh did your stomach feel like it was turning into knots. You could only hope Anders didn’t notice, preferring not to look over at him when you’d twitch.

What you didn’t expect was Anders to playfully mimic Austin Powers' outlandish British accent. With a twinkle in his eye, he adopted the exaggerated tone, much to your amusement. “Do I make you Randy, baby~~?” Your face flushed. “What?” You giggled.

He continued. “Do I make you horny?” He repeated with that godawful accent. You twitched again. Anders placed his hand on your thigh that was over his leg. “What’s wrong, is my voice too distracting?” He smiled. Your face was turning redder by the second. His hand kept moving higher. “Anders.” You whispered. “It’s Anders powers to you.” He winked after using that ridiculous accent again. He got a grip on your waistband and fiddled with it. “Did you think I didn’t notice every time you’d hump my leg when he’d make a sultry comment?” Anders whispered next to your ear, dropping the accent. You sucked in your breath. He smirked and began to kiss your neck, nibbling and sucking on spots he knew you liked. You let out a soft sigh, letting his arm finally slip into your shorts. His hand slowly moves closer to your core. “Oh my.” You breathed out quietly. He massaged your clit for a bit until he stopped abruptly. You turned to look at him.

“Is everything ok?” Your eyes looked over his face and he just stared at you. Eyes scanning you. Finally, he just smiled and leaned til he was close to kissing you. “Can I taste you?” He used the stupid accent again. You couldn’t help but just shake your head a little too quickly. Anders wasted no time on laying you on your back. “Ack! Anders!” He climbed over you and started kissing your chest down to your belly. He gripped onto your shorts, slipping them off quickly with your underwear, tossing them god know where into the living room. That would be a problem for future you to deal with right now you just wanted this man to go crazy.

Anders sighed. He kissed your inner thighs. “This might be the most shaggadelic thing I’ve ever seen.” You couldn’t help but burst into laughter from the accent. “No way you just called my vagina, ‘shaggadelic’?” He blushed. “You’re laughing now but just you wait.” Anders got off the couch and onto his knees. He did work on his shirt and pulled your legs over his shoulders. He started with a slow stripe up. You let out a low moan, not expecting it to be so effective. Anders smiled at that. He did it again. You moved your hands down to his hair. He continued to just lap at your clit, putting one finger first. You gripped onto his hair. He started moving his finger in and out, going a bit faster on his tongue work. You tugged on his hair every time you felt a twitch. Anders took this as a sign to insert another digit. This time he started going faster and faster only getting encouragement every time he felt you twitch. You had started moaning loudly, not caring if Adam or Blake walked in or heard any of your lewd sounds. “Anders!” You panted. “I-I—don’t know—how much longer I can hold on.” You huffed in between words. Your legs have started to twitch. Anders placed his hand on your lower belly, this made you feel a whole new kind of pressure, pushing you over the edge. Your moans sounded almost pornographic as you came undone. Your hands let go of Ander's hair. He tried lapping up most of your juice, coming up to look at your panting figure after he felt everything come out. He smiled at you half lid, his mouth and chin covered in slick. “You feeling shaggadelic now?”

You huffed, still trying to regain your breathe. “I can’t with you sometimes.” Anders climbed onto the couch with you. “We have to definitely watch this movie more often.” You threw your head back and closed you eyes. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it.” You giggled. Anders just sighed and laid his head on your heaving chest.

Now, whenever Ders slips into that ridiculous accent, it serves as a potent aphrodisiac, instantly sparking desire in you. What started as a lighthearted joke during a movie night has evolved into a tantalizing game of seduction, adding a playful twist to your guy's intimate moments and keeping the flames of passion burning bright.

#my fic #anders holm #anders holmvik #anders holmvik fic #anders holmvik x reader #workaholics #workaholics fic #my fanfiction #fanfics #x reader

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chillinfilipino · 1 month

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I've been keeping my distance from people lately, probably because I'm always cautious about protecting my energy. Let me explain... I used to be outgoing, but dealing with past trauma that resurfaced in 2020 has made it tough for me to let new people in. Honestly, I was furious, filled with so much anger, and hate that I didn't even know was in me.

I've been thinking a lot about whether I regretted being so involved in the movement. I wanted to stand up for what's right. And it's been kind of confusing, especially because it took a toll on my mental health during all that intense protesting. I knew why I was out there, fighting against injustice and racism. Being a POC, I've faced my share of racism since I was a kid. Being in physical fights to defend yourself all the time can be draining. Dealing with verbal abuse can caused anxiety. I never really shared my experiences because it's not easy... People don't always get what we go through unless we talk about it. Maybe that's why I'm sharing this. I think it's important for people to express their feelings because It's therapeutic and if you don't have anyone to talk to, writing it down in a journal can really help. Therapy could be helpful too. Michelle was really on my case about it, and It actually made a difference. So, I stuck with it for about a year, feeling like I was in a good place. But then, life got busy with a new job and the business, and the free therapy ride was over. I figured I could handle things on my own. Turns out, that wasn't the best call. After a couple months without therapy, I realized I wasn't as strong as I thought. And then, someone close to me started saying the wrong things to me about my clothing brand business, using the wrong choice of words. I felt betrayed, and it messed with my head, bringing all that anger back to the surface. When I wasn't mentally there, I ended up getting into a big argument at work, standing up for someone who was treated unfairly. I lost my job over it because I threw something at their face. Was it right to stick up for someone? Absolutely. But getting physical wasn't the answer, especially when I wasn't in the right headspace.

So, how do I move forward from here? Do I point fingers at the people who got under my skin? Nah, that won't solve anything. I know I could've handled it differently. Instead of letting my past dictate my reactions, I could've talked it out with the person who said something about my brand and i could've ignored the issue that happened at work and let the HR handle it. But Michelle, the voice of reason, called me out on my behavior. She's the one who keeps it real with me, even when it's tough to hear. And let's be real, it's not fair for her to deal with my past struggles. Nobody should have to deal with someone who's not actively trying to work through their issues. If you're in the same boat as me, just know there are people out there rooting for you, genuinely wanting to see you grow. Don't take advantage of that support. Keep striving to be the best version of yourself. I'm lucky to have my girlfriend by my side, supporting me through it all. But it's a two way street. I've got to be there for her just as much.

Right now, my clothing brand is my main outlet for expressing myself. Every day, I work on staying mentally strong. I don't want to pass down this pattern of anger to my future. And I definitely don't want people to be scared of me when I'm not feeling myself. It's important for me to keep applying what I learned in therapy. I know what helps me when I'm feeling down. Listening to lofi music while I'm designing, creating content, watching documentaries of entrepreneurs, listening to podcast interviews, and watching anime and pro wrestling etc.. Also I know it's better to have days with my girlfriend and balancing my life. Being an entrepreneur can feel pretty lonely sometimes, especially because I chose this path for myself. When I'm out there grinding for my business, I'm really betting on myself. Wherever this journey leads me, I've got to give myself credit and appreciate the small wins the people who support me. Also have to appreciate the losses and failures. Without that, how would I grow? I'm not asking for the world, but I truly value it. Meeting kind people at conventions is a reminder to enjoy life and that good people still exist out there. All I know is I've got to keep pushing to chase what I love and not let anything set me back. Every day might be unfinished, but I'm determined to make the most of it. And if you're feeling a bit lost, I hope my journey can inspire you to find your own path.

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booksbydlwhite · 3 months

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Bookcast Episode 76: Updates + How I Write Pt 3: Just When You Thought Quicksand Would Not Be a Concern

On Episode 76, we discuss reading a bit, I give an update on writing THE PEARL at Black Diamond, share what's happening with Spotify/Findaway as I try to have control over my books on their platform to teach AI, and continue my HOW I WRITE series on dealing with a slow, unexciting middle to create an interesting ending, build up to an exciting climax, and end on a satisfying note.

A quick heads up that I'm not an expert, just sharing my own process. But if you're looking for expert advice, check out Tasha L. Harrison's new podcast "Making Words" from the WordMakers writing group. It's all about authors and the writing process, hosted by Tasha L. Harrison - fiction author, developmental editor, and creator of The Wordmakers Writing Community. Give it a listen if you're a writer – it's fantastic!

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE HERE (Grab a Transcript here)

I talked about the following books on today’s episode:

Been in Love With You (The Love of Elias Book 1) by Tina Martin

When Hearts Cry (The Love of Elias Book 2) by Tina Martin

Neighbors and Other Stories by Diane Oliver

One Summer of Love by Reese Ryan

Candidly Yours by Reese Ryan

Love and Hot Chicken by Mary Liza Hartong pubs 2/20

The American Daughters by Maurice Carlos Ruffin pubs 2/27

The Rumor Game by Thomas Mullen pubs 2/27

Notes on the Spotify/Findaway TOS edit issue

(these are my notes and therefore likely incomplete. Use these as a starting point to educate yourself on the topic and make the best decision for your author business):

Background from Courtney Milan, author and attorney:

PSA: If you are using Findaway Voices to distribute your audiobooks, you should know that their new terms of service have significant problems. The new TOS contains this section: Source: 4b here: https://my.findawayvoices.com/terms-of-use 1/6

I got this from the Marketing audiobooks wide group:

Spotify Terms Update: Next Steps:

1. Communication from Spotify regarding the new terms. As everyone has most likely seen, Spotify sent out an email last night stating that they got the language in the new terms wrong and are going to fix and address it.

2. Alternatives to Spotify Heather G Harris Author was kind enough to compile a list of Findaway alternatives in the other Spotify post that I'll list here. Thanks, Heather! It is up to you to do your own research on these. Every author has different needs for their business.

https://www.dreamscapepublishing.com

https://audiobooksunleashed.com

https://storyfair.net/

https://lanternaudio.com/independent-publishing-services/

https://www.authorsrepublic.com/

https://publishdrive.com/ 3. We always have the option to sell direct and if you want to learn more, there will be a zoom session forthcoming. There are also multiple groups on selling audio wide. I also have experience if anyone has general questions. I distribute direct via payhip and Bookfunnel.

Last night Spotify sent out a message that was basically, our bad, just kidding, we aren’t going to assume rights to your books, we won’t reproduce them without permission and we won’t train AI with them.

We should not have to threaten suit to get people to act ethically and it does not at all miss me that this is the stuff they pull on indie authors. I know a few authors who plan to move anyway. I had a feeling when Spotify bought them that things were going to go downhill. I make money on wide audio but only if I discount books. IF I make money on audio it’s via Chirp or libraries so until I find another avenue to reach them, I am holding but I am watching.

I referenced the following resources in today’s episode.

Writing Mastery

Janice Hardy’s Fiction University

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irresistiibles · 1 year

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@mvsicinthedvrk submitted: this is about to be a long message but you know what? you are used to that from me in at least one thread of ours, so it is what it is!!!

thank you for your nice, too-nice words about my adminning. i wrote maig a whole essay about getting hired alksdj;lasdjf and i wont retype it for you, but i’m really happy to hear from your message that i set your mind at ease in terms of inviting someone new on the team. i set out really wanting to help do a good job, and i think it sounds like there are no outright performance complaints on your part re: my work here lmao, so i’m glad. your videos were LIFESAVERS, and i watched them so many times that for a while i heard your voice in my head anytime i did anything on the main. you seemed really comfortingly organized in terms of teaching me everything i needed to know. it was a lot, definitely, but i appreciated it. please know that i will literally never yell at anyone to get on the main, i physically do not have it in me to be able to do that, but if asks start piling up in the inbox you can all simply assume i am leaving it as a gift for someone else :’) lmfaoooooooo. but i do know that my work cleaning the inbox out regularly does NOT go un-appreciated, so thank you for making me feel like i am a useful member of the team.

and to compliment YOU, you’re always so good at dealing with ooc issues (which i really had no idea happened until i joined the team lmao) but you are so good at working things through and having a plan, and you’re so inventive in terms of events, like i cannot WAIT for the upcoming event that is based on your entirely unhinged doc. who could even come up with all of that other than you?? i’m really obsessed with everything you come up with.

and then in other admin group nonsense, too, you’re SO funny. every time i get to play jackbox with you all i have such a blast, and you specifically always have the best commentary. i really do think you need to start a podcast or something because the world should be forced to witness and appreciate your wit and humor. also related to jackpost i love how hard you are to beat at murder trivia, lmao. you have also made me see so many terrifying and/or cursed posts and links in the discord, many of which i will unfortunately never be able to cleanse from my memory, but i have such a good time in the chats in general regardless of that. really truly, thank you for letting me join you all, i really look forward to every week knowing that i’m going to have a good time talking to you and that i’ll get to help contribute a small part of helping make this rp run, because hidden really is such a special place. i know i’ve only been here for three years of the insane hidden five, but at the same time, i’m like-- wow, i’ve been here over half the time now, and i really can’t imagine my daily life without being part of this in some way. i wish you (and us???) success for the upcoming years!!

if you thought i was done writing this message, you would be wrong. now moving into WRITING positivity-- there’s so much i could say to you about getting to write with you, but our beefleaf threads. your shi qingxuan. they are my everything. i cannot think of a rush of endorphins and anxiety stronger than when i get a beefleaf reply from you: endorphins because i am so hype to read the next installment of their story and anxiety because i KNOW its going to hit me right in the gut, lmfao. and writing for those threads have challenged me in such interesting ways because of the many layers of complexity and having to figure out how to express what i want to say in a way that makes sense for he xuan; i’m so grateful to you that the beefleaf threads have helped let me explore that emotional depth in the narration. (if someone told me i’d be happy to sit working on one reply for four hours and get no other replies done that day idk if i’d believe them, but that’s what beefleaf makes me do sometimes) and seeing the end result is so so satisfying once i push through the distress, haha. so thank you for that, and i’m forever hoping that one day they will resolve the conflict (for their sakes, and ours!! rip). and then obviously i appreciate our other threads as well-- gu zi is such a delight. i’m obsessed with your fixation on qinghua; reading his replies are the pinnacle of entertainment for me to read, especially your threads with kasey between qinghua and qingqiu, please, they take me out. victor and yuri are such a reliably fun set of characters to throw together. and i still LOVE your nie huaisang headcanons! i think i owe you an unaware starter for him and wei wuxian, so that’ll happen at some point this week if i can get my shit together.

anyway i AM going to force myself to shut up now before this starts getting ridiculous if it’s not already. thank you for everything this year, and i’m really pleased that i can solidly look forward to another of the same laughter and emotional distress and chaos and compassion. i’m deeply lucky that i can call you my friend. much love, sincerely, ollie.

the fact you sent me so much i’m going to have to long post tw this ollie!! should be a crime!! when i can afford lawyers you will be hearing from them for emotional damages!! also would not reccomend calling me funny it is the type of compliment i will hold onto forever ahhhhhhhh but truly you are incredible. i am so so glad we’ve been able to meet and be friends going to sky beam all my love to you

#mvsicinthedvrk #long post tw #hwyear5

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journalarchive · 2 years

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11. 7.30.22

Its been four days since I caught up. I think i avoid journaling on purpose sometimes. Just not to have think about things. It brings awareness. This whole writing thing. Also reflecting on what I've listened to and what im letting influence me doubly does that. Then I think once I start I will have so much to say that I won't have time for it.

So I don't start at all.

Brene Brown's "Daring Greatly" has been such an incredible book to come across. She is a vulnerability and shame researcher. These are topics that no one really talks openly about, so to have a book about them, written in such a relatable way, is not only validating but also freeing.

Riffe re-aired an interview she did about podcasting and how beneficial it is for your business. It absolutely made me want to start a podcast. She has a gift for storytelling. ALSO, so came out and said she has a Master's Degree - in social media marketing and storytelling. So, thank you Chelsea for making it sound so easy but it also looks like you have a ton of education behind you on this one.

Mariah and I talked about starting a podcast together. Since i don't know what'd I'd talk about, why not? I'd love to see that pan out. The other day I thought about a pod that's like Something Was Wrong but focused on male voices. Men who have been in abusive relationships getting to tell their stories. It sort of came to me because Something Was Wrong is my favorite podcast and Brene Brown has a whole section in her book dedicated to how hard vulnerability is specifically for men. Not to take anything away from women out there- but when I think about the last time I got to hear a guy talk about how he was in and got out of an abusive relationship.... It's just not really out there. Men are seen as the abusers...

Even if statistics says most of the time they are, not ALL of them are.

So how are the ones who have been hurt dealing with it?

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wizkiddx · 4 years

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join my taglist 🤍

master list

TOM

~ just for the record - tom gets caught preparing for a very big moment

~ slow burn - early morning workouts are your way of befriending your costar, even if it’s more like torture

~ you're still creepy bro - Tom turns into the readers knight in shining armour when they get ill during promo

~ 3 hearts broken [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] - an argument between you and tom, except it takes him hurting someone else for you to loose it

~ ‘it’ couple - fluffy blurb- Tom’s not-so-subtle physical affection doesnt go unnoticed by the media

~ hanging high - fluff, actress!reader and tom hungover and on a flight, that's abt it

~ just letting you know - Tom’s terrified to ask your dad a very particular question question

~ reasons why I hate the spiderboy - the father of the brides wedding speech

~ work with me - when tom doesn’t take advice and ends up very ill, very far from home, there’s one person whose stuck dealing with it

~ your voice - tom says something so stupid and has to deal with the consquences

~ supercluster - its toms birthday but he has a few things to get off his chest and into the night sky, y/n joins in with a bit of a revelation too

~ stay stay stay - sometimes tom can be the one in need too

~ sleepy sunsets - picking up tom from the airport blurb

~ living and reviving - when toms caught out all hope looks lost

~ baby bump chats - the story of your pregnancy through toms eyes

~ brotherly advice - tom wants to ask harry if he’s taking things to quick with y/n , which harry takes pure glee in

~ pretty boy face - what starts off as tom taking you under his wing and some sunrise workouts together might just develop into something more

~ zooming - online uni is hard when your boyfriend is intent in being a little shit

~ neutralise the escapee. - little bit of fluff while in quarantine cos you know ... the worlds gone mad

~ honeymoon morning. the morning after the night before, full of fluff and surprise and Tom being a lil jealous of Haz

~nothing’s changed at all - 2 years later and Paddy being a bit of a matchmaker

~ admit you miss me - FaceTime, pining and a pandemic- but still cute and lovey

~ moving on - change is scary and it makes you question the realistic future you and tom have

~ a father and daughter - me trying to write dad!tom and resulting in this

~ stop caring - angst reader has a panic attack and the only person to help isssss

~ a job offer - kinda a part two to stop caring, trying to patch up your relationship a small step at a time

~ or him - soon to be dad!tom predicts your babies gender

~ ...surprise part 1 part 2 part 3 this is angsty too, Tom comes home to found out you’ve been through hell and back while he was away, and he didn’t even know

~ a friendly face - bit if angst but mainly just fluff, read pays Tom a surprise visit when she finds out he’s struggling with the emotional stress cherry brings, while the Russo’ make Tom think long and hard... not just about stage direction

~ ruining the plan isn’t always so bad. Fluff!! completely based off the podcast Dom did after him and Sam surprised Tom filming years ago, but with the added component of y/n

~ two beautiful girls - just tom coming home to you and his 18 month daughter and to cuteness that would ensue

~ unusable faces - famous!reader and tom are worked to complete exhaustion so they sneak off together to find some rest bite

~ in your own way - people are just talented at different things and sometime y/n has to remind Tom that

~ the worst case scenario [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] - very very angsty , bcos childbirth isn’t always perfect in the slightest COMPLETED

~ birth photographer 2 - harry gets terrified by toms request about the birth of his child, but the reader smoothes it over

~ too early - fluffy blurb!!!! based off Tom’s early morning insta stories that had me melting ahah

~ wasn't expecting that - you run into possibly the most infuriating family members the one time u and ur boy are showing PDA

~ you cant hide - fluff, reader tries to hide being ill from Tom and it doesnt work

~ homework hell - tom struggles to help his daughter with maths homework and chaos descends

~ anti valentine - its hard for Tom to be romantic, when your the most cynical person going

~ don't make it weird - life is sometimes not good, but your fave boy makes it just a little easier to deal with (with some original help from his brother too)

~ how he loves - the little things he does in boring day to day life

~ perfect no matter what - tom helps you to see your worth

~ bad advice - fluffy blurb, tom seeking Harry's advice on his relationship

HARRY

~ what do I do - first time the reader falls asleep on harry and he’s all scared and nervous and tom is like ugh

~ your song - harry never sings in front of you, until you need it

~ need your person part 1. part 2 - this is very angsty! but Harry really gets the wrong end of the stick of a situation and blows up much to the detriment of the person he loves

~ this bloody door - bad days and bad doors , but something does make it better

~ in the middle - oops only one bed left i wonder if the mutual pining gets outed?

#tom holland #Harry Holland #tom holland fluff #dad!tom #tom holland x reader #Harry Holland fluff #Harry holland x y/n #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x famous!reader #Tom Holland angst

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kimistorm · 3 years

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Did you just ask me out on live stream? [Yang Jeongin]

Fandom: Stray Kids

Pairing: [Jeongin x GN! Reader]

Warnings: none!

Requested by: @stupendousfriendcalzonehands Thanks for the request! Let me know what you think~

Prompts: "After how many ½ inches does it become a date?” “Did you say you knew how to do this?”

It started as a bet. You and Jeongin couldn’t keep up a weekly podcast for more than 2 months. The way Han phrased it, you could just do it on YouTube and in your dorms, but no, you were fueled by spite and somehow convinced your professor to allow you, Jeongin, and Hyunjin to live stream from the university’s audio studio.

Two months later and you had a small following, so you just continued. Much to Han’s shock.

“On to the final part of the show,” you spoke into your microphone as you scrolled through the outline, “answering your questions!” you let out a snort, “I don’t know why you guys keep asking us for advice. The other day Jeongin tried to joust Seungmin with an icicle.”

“And I won!” your partner declared gleefully with a wide grin.

“Mmm, debatable,” you teased, much to Jeongin’s chagrin, effectively wiping his face of the smile. “He only claims he won because Seungmin’s icicle broke first.”

“Yeah! That’s how it works!”

“But he hit you with it before you broke it!”

Jeongin threw his arms up in frustration, “this isn’t fencing!” From beyond the glass, you saw Hyunjin shaking his head in tired resignation as the two of you deviated from the script yet again and couldn’t help but giggle. “Deal with it Hyunjin,” Jeongin whispered into the mic when he saw what you were giggling at, causing your laughs to escalate. Hyunjin glared at the two of you and Jeongin put his hands up in surrender, “okay okay, actually onto the questions now. Which were chosen by our dear Hyunjin," he mocked with faux sincerity before an evil grin grew on his face, "so if this becomes boring blame him.”

Hyunjin looked like he was going to enter the recording booth and whack the two of you over the head with the rolled-up outline in his hand as his mouth was open in a muffled yell.

“Before Hyunjin takes us off the air, let’s answer some of your questions!” for the third time you tried to continue with what you were supposed to be doing. “This one’s from John. Hey (y/n) and Jeongin! There’s someone who I really like and I want to ask them out on a date. We’ve been getting dinner together, but I don’t think either of us really classify it as a date. It’s mostly been under the pretense of ‘I’m starving, you’re here, let’s go.’ How can I make that leap into asking them on a date versus a friendly get-together? Thanks for the help!” there was a pause of silence as the two of you tried to think of a response, “no offense John, but you’re asking the wrong people. I’ve never been on a date,” you side-eyed Hyunjin for him letting this question pass, “and Jeongin-”

“I’ve been in the same position.”

“What?” you shrieked and the three of you winced as you heard your loud voice through your headphones.

“Warning for headphone users.” Your dark-haired friend mumbled under his breath and took off his headphones to rub at his ear.

“Hold up, when was this?” you looked at Jeongin in bewilderment. The two of you were best friends, and this was a new development for you. You had never heard of Jeongin crushing after someone. Granted, you had only known each other for about 3 years, since the two of you started university, but with the number of late-night ramblings and how often the two of you are together, it could’ve come up.

Jeongin merely shrugged. “I totally understand you, John, it’s difficult, but here’s what I did.” You nodded your head to allow Jeongin to continue, seeing as you had no way to help. “It’s hard to tell from your letter, but how close are the two of you? I got closer and closer to the person who I liked. It developed from ‘hey you’re in the same class as me,’ to something more. It became late-night shenanigans, staying up late talking about anything and everything, watching movies, and of course, doing homework together. Though, to be real, we suck at doing homework when we’re together.” He added with a laugh.

There was a pleasant smile on his face as he reminisced this person, he looked genuinely at peace, and it surprised you. Whoever this person was, they made a big impact on Jeongin’s life. It was strange that you never heard of this person, besides, Jeongin seemed to have had some closure with this person. Did it end badly? Is that why you never knew of this enigma? But he looked so happy? It kind of hurt. This person was so pivotal in his life and yet he hid it all from you. Maybe you weren’t as close as you thought. “Half inch by half inch, we became closer.” There was a definitive look on his face as he gave a nod, seemingly happy with his answer.

You, on the other hand, were a little more unconvinced. That couldn’t be the end of the story. Maybe you were a little more miffed because this was news to you, or maybe the reporter in you was finally coming out and wanting to know the conclusion. Either way, there was a bit of an edge to your voice as you asked, “okay, so after how many ½ inches does it become a date?” you turned the conversation back to John’s question, “John seems to already be friends, he just wants to take this person on a date.”

Jeongin let out a scoff and rolled his eyes at you, “it’s not linear.”

There was a pause and when it seemed like Jeongin wasn’t going to speak up again, you continued your dubious proddings, “did you say you knew how to do this?” there was an offended shout from Jeongin and he kicked you from under the table to elicit a startled yelp from you.

“I hope none of our listeners are using headphones.” Jeongin shook his head in empathy, “because my ears burn.”

“You’re the one who kicked me!”

Jeongin childishly stuck his tongue out at you, “things will work out John. I’m sure the more you get to know them the more things will fall into place.” He reassured, though you weren’t feeling reassured, and you figured John probably wasn’t either.

“Did you ever ask your person out on a date?” you asked, still wanting to get closure for your story, seeing as Jeongin wasn’t keen on providing it.

His face reddened and you resisted the urge to crow teasingly at him, “not yet.” He mumbled into the mic, but it was loud enough for you to hear with your headphones.

You leaned back in your chair to get away from the mic and let out a screech, “you don’t know what you’re talking about either!”

“You were just going to write off John’s letter! I couldn’t let you do that.” He protested with his face still red and his gaze averted.

“Ask them out John!” you took matters into your hands seeing as Jeongin was clumsier with love than you were. Hyunjin sure picked the wrong question this time. “There’s no time like the present. Don’t twist one of your normal dinners into a date, specifically plan it. Ask them if they want to go on a date at some other time than what the two of you normally do. The worst that could happen is they say no.”

“That’s mortifying! I could never do that!” the aghast look on Jeongin’s face did little to make you feel guilty.

“That’s why you never asked out your person on a date.” The hurt look that fell on his face did though. “Oh no, I’m sorry.” The chaotic atmosphere that filled the recording booth stilled and you went over to hug your friend, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“No, you’re right.” He continued in a quiet voice, “I guess I got too scared to do anything, so I decided things were perfectly all right the way they were, even if I wish it was different.”

You smoothed his hair down absentmindedly from your awkward standing position and his sitting position, “relationships are scary. I think you, and John, are valid to be scared.”

“But you’re also right, there’s no time like the present.”

You let out a quiet laugh, “and in the end, neither of us was able to help John.”

“Maybe this will,” you pulled away from Jeongin in confusion so you could look at his face. There was a nervous look settled on his face and he refused to look anywhere close to you, “do you want to go on a date later?”

Your jaw probably dropped comically as you looked at him in bewilderment, “wait-are you-did you-?” did he ask what you think he did? Did he just ask you out? On-air? Was that buzzing in your ear from your headphones? Was this a setup from Hyunjin? Was Jeongin John? Somehow, even as your mind was racing a hundred miles a minute, the terrified look on Jeongin’s face was able to clear through the mess and register in your mind. You took a deep breath to stop your word vomit, “yeah.” You smiled, “let’s go on a date. Maybe a dinner date?”

The terrified look immediately washed away and was replaced with a relieved look, “that sounds great.”

Hyunjin’s yelling was so loud that the two of you could faintly hear him screaming, “finally!”

Masterlist

Context bonus: "After how many ½ inches does it become a date?” One of my female friends was trying to describe to one of my male friends dating, but none of us know how to date.

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falsegoodnight · 3 years

Text

these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, podfics, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with *.

*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 25th and any fics read after will be included in next month’s fic rec list because otherwise this is going to be obnoxiously long.

—

main list ~

✰ black cherries and chocolate by @harryanthus | NR | 666 (intense and jarring in the best way. this leaves you with that heart-racing feeling and panic crawling up your throat)

There is something or well, someone in the walls.

✰ keep secrets just to keep you by @hadestyles | T | 1k (loved this so much!! and need 1000000 more royalty abos from rori immediately)

“With the elements as my witness, I take you to be my husband. My heartbeat begins with you and ends with you, Louis Tomlinson.” Louis sinks to his knees as well, salty tears mixing with the pure rainwater. “And I take you as mine. My heart beats for you and with you.”

✰ bitter coffee and sweet love by @dontfuckwithmyotp | G | 1k (so cute and sweet!! proud of you ari for getting your first fic out and excited to see what you do next!)

“Hello! Welcome to The Busy Bean! Are you new?” Louis blinked in surprise at the voice and looked around to find the source. “Behind you,” The person tapped his shoulder once and he whirled around at the unexpected touch.

“Hey! Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to interrupt a person—” His rant stopped when he finally faced them. It was a guy—Harry Styles, according to his small black name tag. His eyes widened in embarrassment.

✰ turn your mic off, baby by @vogueharrystan | E | 2k (i love when lilli writes harry’s pov. this was so hot!)

Louis walks around the house naked all day and ignores Harry to play video games instead. Harry gets tired of it.

✰ This Could Be Love by mulletharry | G | 2k (such a cute and perfect little valentine’s day fic! put the biggest smile on my face <3)

Harry and Louis have been together for four months. They spend their first Valentine’s Day together.

✰ you appear as my soul by @hadestyles | T | 2k (so gorgeous and raw)

He aches — not as much as Louis, he could never imagine all that he bears quietly — and as cruel as it sounds, it keeps reminding him of how fragile they are.

✰ the energy from your body by sweetielouis | E | 3k (hilarious, hot, and cute!)

Harry and his friends have a popular podcast, for the Valentines Day special they get a bit drunk and talk a bit too comfortably about their friends arses.

It's a good thing Louis doesn't mind it all that much.

✰ look how i remember by @harryanthus | M | 4k (this left me speechless and aching)

He hates it, he wants to scream and tell Harry as much. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me as if we are in love. Kiss me like you will never do it again. Kiss me with so much hatred that it turns back to love.

✰ Things Unsaid by @londonfoginacup | G | 5k (so so cute and funny!!)

"That chunky oversized sweater is like a clown outfit made for winter."

It feels like time slows down.

Those words echo in his mind, familiar. Why are they familiar? The— the sweater he saw last week. The one with all the knit squares.

The train slows to a stop and Louis just— he doesn’t move. He feels frozen in place as people surge around him. Suddenly everyone is moving too fast and then just as suddenly the car is near empty, taking off again.

The man is gone.

His soulmate is gone.

✰ reckless serenade by @thepolourryexpress | E | 4k (adorable and funny and amazing!)

Harry's Google search history may or may not look like 'my girlfriend doesn't know we're dating.'

✰ dancing in the moonlight by @outropeace | E | 5k (need 100k more of this immediately, thanks. so wonderful)

Louis’ fuck buddy gets a date for Valentine’s day and he discovers that denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.

✰ The truth is, the stars are falling by larrysbeanies | E | 5k (hot!!! walking-in trope that i love so much)

Harry knows Louis is gay. Hell, he came out to Harry exactly two months ago (when the dreadful dry spell started) because it was becoming increasingly hard to hide the fact that his one night stands were men. And, you know, they’re best friends so there aren’t supposed to be secrets and all that.

Thing is, Louis told Harry he’s gay ergo, Harry is aware that Louis likes men. Why the fuck did he act so normal while fingering him three days ago, then? Is this something straight guys do to their gay best friends in Harry’s world?

Louis would really like to know.

✰ to be used and to be in love by @thelesserneptune | E | 5k (blessed that this is a series. really hot and cute!)

Louis doesn't know why his filthy best friend turned into a vanilla boyfriend and thinks of the perfect birthday present to solve that problem.

✰ on the borderline by @princelouisau | E | 8k (the way danielle writes... poetry. this broke me down and then stitched me back up <3)

Louis makes his choice.

✰ One Step Closer by agrinwithouthiscat | G | 12k (reading asexual hl fics is instant comfort and this was lovely)

The one fake relationship AU where they don't end up together.

✰ i glow pink in the night by @raspberryoatss | E | 12k (hybrid louis perfection, beautiful writing, characters, and story as always!)

Harry reads a lot of articles about hybrids and Louis is determined to prove them wrong.

✰ The Thinker of Tender Thoughts by @speakingwithink | G | 13k (asexual hl again! this one made me cry)

Louis sits on his hands to stop them from shaking as he adds, ‘and I’m ace.’ If only he had glitter, he thinks. Coming out deserves a bit of sparkle.

✰ Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice by @harriblou | M | 13k (enemies with benefits to lovers goodness! so hot and entertaining)

“You’re a fucking brat, you know that,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, bones already burning with the pure desire and hatred mixing in his body. It was an intoxicating rush of adrenaline and something else that probably came with fucking Louis Tomlinson. He squeezed his neck just a little tighter. “I can’t stand it.”

Their lips were brushing against each other, just moving with the ragged movements of their mouths and harsh breathing.

“You’re a lying piece of shit dickhead,” Louis muttered right back. That was all he did, challenge and nag. He loved to have the last word and Harry let him because he used all his energy to fuck him mindless.

✰ hold onto your stars by vashtaneradas | NR | 16k (this writer’s atmosphere/prose draws me in every time. such a lovely story)

Harry's in the army, Louis' back home, and ninety days is a lifetime.

✰ The Future is Now by @jacaranda-bloom | E | 16k (love fics in this five times format and this one was so unique and cool!! and the friends to lovers aspect = chef’s kiss)

Five times Louis follows the fortunes to seek out his true love, and the one time he realises that what he's been searching for might've been right in front of him the whole time.

✰ Visceral Heat & Carnal Highs by @theisolatedlily | E | 18k (the prose in this... gorgeous. so fucking good and addicting. delighted that there’s going to be a sequel and excited for whatever lily does next!)

Louis is a demon at a house party prowling for a meal, indulging in horrendous sins to satisfy his hunger. Harry is the talk of the night, beckoning all eyes on him and the reason why Louis’s plan goes awry.

✰ deFENCEless by @solvetheminourdreams | T | 27k (this was so cute and so funny and i had the biggest smile on my face the entire time. not surprised since stef always evokes that in me with her writing)

When Louis butts heads with his new neighbor who loves to garden a little too much, all he can do to protect his yard (and heart), is keep on building up his fence(s).

✰ darling, you give love a bad name by snowcaplou | M | 29k (been waiting for this one since summer and i wasn’t disappointed! so wonderful and real!)

Louis’ has been best friends with Gemma all his life in this stupid little town he’s grown to hate. What happens when, after one night together with his best friend’s brother, he falls pregnant? Surrounded by small minds and conservative cultures, Louis has to deal with parents that demand they do the “right” thing. Get married before anybody finds out.

✰ The Haunting of Louis Tomlinson* by @helloamhere | T | 31k (will never not be an all-time favorite. louis’ character is my absolute favorite - gothic heroine indeed - and harry is the best dramatic gay ghost ever <3)

Louis is a plucky Gothic Heroine, Harry is a Mournful Spirit, and Big Country Houses are full of mystery and suspense, as Big Country Houses ever are!

✰ begged and borrowed time by @bottomlwt | M | 40k (this concept was so unique and so cool!! loved the medieval setting and the time travel and how everything fit together in the end!!)

“It wasn’t until 1568 that it became time for Prince Harry to find a queen and prepare to rule. However, the day he was set to choose his bride-to-be, he mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again despite the multiple search parties that went on through the years. To this day, historians still do not know what happened with the infamous Prince Styles case..."

✰ Lidocaine and Palm Trees.* by @daddyharrie | E | 45k (definition of ris comfort read - on nth reread and still love it wholly. makes me miss la which is an astonishing feat in itself)

Heat, fake tans and lots of traffic.

Harry never expected to earn his living this way when he moved to LA.

Louis didn't think he could ever be the same after his divorce.

A lighthearted story about two guys trying to find themselves in the vibrant, sprawling city of Los Angeles, with a side of technical porn industry stuff.

✰ haunted by the ghost of you* by @missandrogyny | E | 49k (perhaps my favorite fic of all time? the humor, the characters, the angst?!?! all the britney spears!! and pink ouija boards and wikihow!!)

He’s tall—that’s the first thing that registers in Louis’ head when he spots him, standing with his hands behind his back. Tall, with curly hair, staring at them with the widest, greenest eyes Louis has ever seen. And wait, are those dimples? Louis didn’t know ghosts could have dimples.

Because he’s definitely a ghost, this boy. At first glance he looks normal, standing there pigeon-toed in a band shirt (The Ramones, Louis can’t help but note incredulously), dark jeans, and some boots, with rings on both hands, and tattoos littering his left arm—a sleeve made of anchors and names and roses and other completely unrelated things. But he’s also a little bit translucent; if Louis focuses, he can see the outline of the furniture, the design of the wallpaper through him.

“Hi,” the boy—the ghost—says to Louis. His face shifts; somehow his dimples dig deeper into his cheeks. His eyes flit from Louis, to Niall, to Liam, and finally to Zayn, and his face goes from shocked to elated. “I’m Harry.”

At in that exact moment, standing between three of his best friends and staring at a (quite handsome) ghost, Louis can only think one thing.

Nick Grimshaw was right.

✰ like real people do by @eeveelou | E | 64k (this was... so amazing. the characters were so wonderfully written and so was the journey of healing and growth that louis undertakes over the story :’) loved the contrast between l and h’s lives and how they fit into each other still so perfectly)

Jessica Jones AU in which the dead stay where they belong, featuring Zayn as the high-powered lawyer with a hopeless crush on his assistant Liam, Niall as the constantly stoned but strangely insightful neighbor, Harry as Manhattan’s media darling, and Louis as the never-was hero who’s just trying to pick up the pieces.

✰ Black With Autumn Rain by whimsicule | T | 93k (i actually can’t remember if i’ve read this before??? either way - it was wonderful! loved the setting and atmosphere and the supernatural elements! i was so intrigued from the first sentence onwards)

Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren’t exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

podfics ~

✰ tall stories on the page by @soldouthaz & read by @softlouislove | T (hannah’s voice is so lovely and perfect for reading aloud - and ofc the fic itself is amazing)

Harry's tired of being interviewed by people that only care about the same pointless gossip. Louis is a nice change of pace.

wips ~

✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved | E | 60k | 6/16 (just caught up fully today but i’m really enjoying everything! this is everything i’ve ever wanted in a fantasy fic)

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

✰ ‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies | E | 39k | 3/10 (having a blast reading this one!! i’ve never seen the bachelor in my life but in fic-format, it’s so fun!)

So maybe Louis’ in over his head.

He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.

✰ The Night Still Whispers Sins of Old by @toomanydreamers | E | 6k | 2/? (loving this so much, as expected. can’t wait to see how everything unfolds)

Two and a half years have passed since the fateful day when Louis and Harry were crowned Triwizard champions. Confronted with misunderstandings, wounded pride and heartache, Louis stumbled away from the possibility of a future relationship with Harry. Instead, he buried himself into relentless work as a junior Auror and refused to let himself be vulnerable with another person. Circumstances change that force Louis to confront his feelings - and Harry. Stolen glances, picnics at sunrise, thrilling adventures, original spellwork, midnight feasts, soft lips and cautious second chances culminate in an unforgettable mission - but will it be enough to mend their relationship?

non-1d ~

✰ like a bullet needs a gun by @millsxwriting | T | 21k | wilds au (despite me having no context, mills still got me to fall in love with toni and shelby. this was so cute and lovely!!)

Toni doesn’t expect to fall for anyone in her senior year. Least of all for Shelby Goodkind, the new girl that arrived in town just before the end of summer. In fact, Toni can’t even look at her for longer than two seconds, or listen to more than three sentences coming out of her mouth without wanting to accidentally push her off a cliff.

Cue a group project and endless bickering, and suddenly Toni finds herself with an unbearable crush.

If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

#fic recs #my fic recs #28th appreciation #february recs #2021 recs #february 2021 recs #scheduled

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cocosstories · 3 years

Text

Sebastian Stan One Shot

1. a one shot where you and Sebastian have a fight but you accidentally say something rude and he gets upset and you try to convince him?

2. a jealous Sebastian but it's all serious and stuff where he says that he feels that you are not completely giving yourself into the relationship and admit it because you're scared of getting hurt

i found a podcast interview where sebastian says he doesnt really believe in marriage. soooo it gave me an idea for a reader fic. can you write a seb x fem reader where she finds that interview (theyre dating) and is distant and upset because she does want marriage but then it ends in fluff

One shot of Sebastian stan where you guys have a big fight and it's the readers fault and basically lots of angst with fluff at the end ❤️

An angsty one shot with Sebastian stan! Something where you guys had a huge fight and he's upset

You and Sebastian have been dating for the past three years and recently you found yourself being a little distant when it came to him and your relationship.

For weeks, you had been hiding the fact that you had heard an old podcast that Sebastian had been a part of where he said he didn't believe in marriage.

His confession hit you like a freight train and every plan you had ever made about yours and Sebastian's future flew out the window.

"Baby, can we talk for a minute?"

Sebastian asks one night.

He had just gotten home from filming and instead of your normal greeting, you got up and went to the bedroom to finish your book.

"I'm really busy."

You reply, rather coldly, not even looking up at him.

"Alright, that's it. What the hell is going on? You have been distant and cold for weeks."

Sebastian says, startling you with the sudden change in his tone.

"Nothing. Why can't you ever just leave me the fuck alone! Jesus. You are so fucking needy!"

You get up and scream back at him, pushing him out of the room and slamming the door shut.

"Oh yeah, I'm so fucking needy just because I want to know what the fucking is going on in that crazy ass brain of yours?"

He yells through the door, the hurt of your actions think in his voice.

"Babe, come on. Talk to me. Are you over this? Over us? Do you not love me anymore?"

Tears fill your eyes as he speaks.

You were upset about what he had said, the thought of marriage just thrown away without even a proper discussion but you never meant for him to think that you wanted out of your relationship or that you didn't love him.

"Iubirea mea, please just come out and talk to me."

He begs until you finally open the door.

Sebastian has tears in his eyes as the two of you stare at eachother for a moment, neither knowing what to say.

"What's going on?"

He asks quietly.

"You don't believe in marriage."

You finally reply, the words coming out in an almost whisper.

Sebastian looks at you confused before realization sets in.

"Oh, I said that years ago! Before I met you. Baby, you have to understand, when my parents divorced, it was very hard on me and for a long time I didn't believe in marriage. But then you came into my life."

Your stomach drops as you realize that you had been wrong in your assumptions that Sebastian didn't want anymore from your relationship than what you already had.

"Sebastian, I am so sorry. I was horrible to you."

You say, crying and he wraps you in his arms.

"Its ok. I'm sorry that you thought for one second that I wouldn't want to spend my life with you."

He kisses your head as he fights back tears, both of you feeling remorse for all that had been said and done.

"Lets make a deal right now, from now on, no matter how hard it may be, we talk about what is bothering us. I don't ever want it to get like this again."

Sebastian says taking a step back to look at you, wiping away the tears streaming down your face with the back of his hand.

"Deal."

You say with a small smile, closing the distance between you to kiss him and make it official.

#Sebastian Stan One Shot #Sebastian Stan x reader #Sebastian Stan #Cocos stories

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cycwrites · 3 years

Text

WIP Things aka Unofficial Fic Tease

In order to remind myself that I’ve left all of you hanging for the rest of my trilogy rewrite, I thought I would post my unbeta’d, unedited, good with the bad chapter 1 for the second movie. I also have hope that it will make me feel guilty for taking so damn long and get back to it. Especially since I’ve basically closed myself off from writing (and the muses) and I’m trying to pry the doors back open because I really do miss sharing my stories with you guys.

I wrote this well over a year ago, along with a 2nd chapter that deals with the Dean’s office, and really just hope you like it.

--------

About Damn Time

Chapter One: So That Happened

Word Count: 2600 -------- ~B~

At the end of Beca’s junior year, two things of note happened.

First: Chloe, once again, made the decision to stay with Beca and the Bellas and failed Russian Lit for the third time. Beca had tried to talk her out of it, torn between wanting Chloe to move forward in her life beyond Barden and guilt that she was relieved they wouldn’t have to figure out how to work a long distance relationship. She wasn’t ready to try that and couldn’t imagine leading the group without her. But Chloe had insisted this was where she’d wanted to be and she didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything.

Second: The Bellas were asked to perform at President Obama’s 50th birthday celebration at the Kennedy Center on August 8th.

Beca had laughed when the call had come through the never used landline at the Bella house.

“Good afternoon, this is Mack Johnson and I’m calling on behalf of the White House…”

“Yeah right. Nice try, Jesse.” She hung up and pulled out her cell phone as she walked into the kitchen. Pausing by the counter she typed out a quick message to him.

Beca: I’ve gotta give you points for originality though. You almost sounded like an actual adult.

She poured herself a glass of lemonade before he answered.

Jesse: I’m going to take that as a compliment and ignore the wound to my manly pride, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Beca: Whatever you say, ‘Mack.’ If you’d said you were calling from anywhere but the White House I might’ve let you keep talking.

Instead of answering via text, Jesse called her.

“Are you day drinking, Mitchell?” Jesse clucked his tongue. “Without your lesbro? I’m hurt, Becaw.”

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Beca lifted her glass and took a sip. “What inspired your call today?”

“Uh, your cryptic and confusing texts to me, of course.” Jesse chuckled. “Want to clue me in?”

Beca sighed. “Man you’re committed to this.”

“To what?”

Beca set her glass on the counter. “Fine – you just called me and –” She jumped as the phone in the living room rang for only the second time in her years at Barden. “Pretended… to be… from the White House.”

“I thought you said you weren’t drinking?” Jesse laughed but it sounded distant as Beca watched Chloe answer the phone.

Her girlfriend’s blue eyes went wide and locked on Beca’s as she said, “I’m sorry, did you say you’re calling from the White House?”

“Jesse?” Beca said absently.

“Yes, Beca?” His voice took on an echo as all the blood drained from her face.

“I gotta go pass out now.” She swallowed dryly. “I’ll call you later.”

“Beca wa-”

Beca had remained frozen in the kitchen while Chloe became more and more animated, frantically scribbling down notes on the notepad sitting beside the phone, though her voice was carefully calm and collected. Then she’d run into the kitchen, screaming and jumping in excitement and talking faster than Beca’s shocked mind could process. Drawn by the commotion like a frat boy to a kegger, the rest of the girls soon joined the chaos while Beca still stood frozen by the counter as they swirled around her.

The school had allowed them to stay on campus through the summer so they could discuss songs and choreography. The time had been a whirlwind of security checks and practice and everything they planned needed to be vetted by the performance organizers. Of course, since they’d come to the Bellas after their third ICCA win in a row, there weren’t any real problems.

Until the night of the performance when one set of tangled silks and a desire for no panty lines wrecked everything.

No pun intended.

~B~ Sunday, August 24th, 2014

Beca lay on their bed and stared at the ceiling, listening to Chloe pace beside her.

“I’ve ruined everything.” Pace to the head of the bed. “Destroyed our reputation.” Pace back to the foot. “Made the Bellas a joke.”

Beca sighed and pushed herself up on her elbows. “Chloe. It’s a capella. It’s already a jo-” She stopped as Chloe spun to face her, outraged. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” Beca tried a smile. “I was just trying to lighten the mood.” She let it slip when Chloe just stared at her and Beca dropped back down to gaze at the ceiling. “Won’t make that mistake again.”

“I’m the one who gave Amy the green-light to do ‘Wrecking Ball.’” Chloe resumed pacing.

“Because, despite most of her claims, she actually had done some training on the silks before coming to the states.” Beca countered, as she had for the past three weeks. “She was good on them and never once in our rehearsals did she get tangled up.”

“But-”

“No.” Beca cut her off and sat up, pulling her legs up to sit cross legged and face her. “We all agreed to let her do it. It was a group vote.” She softened her voice and held out her hand. “This isn’t all on you, Chlo.”

With a sigh, Chloe took her hand and let herself be tugged onto the bed. Beca stretched back out and Chloe settled against her side. “It feels like it.”

“That’s because you’re the one who looks out for us.” Beca gently rubbed her back. “No one could’ve predicted this, love.”

“No…” Chloe said grudgingly. “But…”

Beca cut her off again. “There’s no buts.”

“Except Amy’s.” Chloe huffed, tension that had begun to fade making her stiffen up again in Beca’s arms. “All over the news.” She groaned. “Why didn’t I just use the cloth I was freaking holding to cover her up?”

“Same reason I didn’t,” Beca said reasonably, having heard a version of this several times before. “My mind went blank and I couldn’t move. I just… kept waiting to wake up.”

“Same.” Chloe pressed her nose to Beca’s shoulder. “I still am. This is such a nightmare.”

“She feels bad.” Beca offered. “It was her idea to do that press conference.” She winced as Chloe snorted.

“Yeah, where she then tried to show her ‘silk burn’ to the entire world.” Chloe sat up and pushed herself off the bed. “Again.” She resumed pacing and Beca’s mind hunted around for anything she could say to defuse things.

“At least we saved Aubrey’s college legacy from Pukegate?” Even as the words were out of her mouth Beca knew they were stupid and wrong.

“And ruined ours with Muffgate.” Chloe snarled.

“I wish I could find the asshole that came up with that. Bet it was those podcast people and of course everyone else jumped on it.” Beca made a face. “It was an accident and eventually there will be another crisis for them to focus on.” She slid over to the edge of the bed and swung her legs over. “It won’t be forever, Chlo.”

Pace, turn. “But tomorrow we go see the Dean.” Pace, turn. “With those podcast people who are apparently actually part of the Collegiate A Cappella Association.”

“They’re still weird and he’s an ass.” Beca stood up and stretched as she heard the door open at the bottom of the stairs. “Think you’ll be able to enjoy yourself at dinner tonight?”

Chloe stopped by the small table they inherited from Aubrey and took a deep breath. “Of course. It’s Amy’s birthday. I’m not going to ruin it for her.” She flashed Beca a small grin, the first in an hour. “Why do you think I’m up here instead of downstairs?”

“Speaking of,” a new voice said from the stairs. “There’s maybe… A situation.” Jessica smiled apologetically when they both looked at her as she reached the top.

Beca sighed. “Of course there is.”

“Do I even want to know?” Chloe pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Probably not, but Stacie sent me to get you.”

“Coward,” Beca muttered. “She knows I can’t hit you because you’re too nice.” She took a deep breath. “Okay, quick like ripping off a band-aid.”

“Amy’s sitting on the couch. With a towel on her lap.” Jessica hesitated.

“That’s… Why is that a big deal?” Chloe asked, confused.

“She’s… commando. Because of her silk burn.” The blonde’s shoulders bounced once but she didn’t say anything else.

“I swear to fucking god I’m going to glue underwear on her,” Chloe muttered under her breath.

Beca was struck by a horrible thought. “Is she sitting on another towel?”

“We were afraid she’d show us if we asked.” Jessica looked at Beca. “That’s when Stacie sent me to get you.”

“Why do I have to do it?” Beca knew she was whining but couldn’t help it.

“Because you’re the captain.” Jessica shrugged again. “You can threaten her with cardio if she tries to flash us again.”

“Yeah but Amy doesn’t always listen to me and I don’t want to have flashbacks.” Beca reluctantly headed for the stairs as Jessica started back down.

“Birthday or not…” Chloe muttered as she followed.

“I’m sure Lilly has a hot glue gun you can use,” Beca mused, not surprised to find Ashley hanging out in the hallway when they left the attic.

“Don’t tempt me.” Chloe didn’t say anything else the entire trip down the stairs.

Beca rounded the corner, passing Jessica and Ashley who had stopped in the entry and came to a halt herself, Chloe running into her back.

All she could see was the back of Amy’s head but she appeared to be looking straight at Lilly who sat cross-legged on the ottoman and staring back.

“Do I even want to know?” Beca turned her head toward Jessica but didn’t take her eyes off the scene.

“I didn’t ask that either,” came the whispered reply.

Beca took a bracing breath then walked into the living room. Despite the reassurance that the covering towel existed, Beca didn’t relax until she saw it for herself. It was nothing personal against Amy, but Beca just didn’t want to see any of the Bellas naked, Chloe being the obvious exception. You never knew when the visual would pop back in your head and Amy had already shown up enough in the past few weeks to last a lifetime.

“Amy.” Beca looked up at a sound from the kitchen and saw Stacie leaning in the doorway with Cynthia Rose and Flo sitting at the center island.

“Captain.” Amy didn’t turn her head or avert her gaze.

“Are you guys in a staring contest?” Beca frowned, looking between the two women. “And if so why?”

“I don’t know,” Amy lifted one shoulder. “All I know is she hasn’t blinked since she sat down and why take the risk of losing.”

Beca felt her eyes twitch at the thought. “Jesus, please cut it out before my eyes start watering.” She stepped between them and Amy closed her eyes in relief.

“Thanks, Shawshank. That was starting to burn.” She started to lift one corner of the towel to wipe her eyes and Beca threw out her hand.

“Nope. That stays there.” Chloe said it before Beca could.

“Please tell me you’re sitting on another towel.” Beca sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

“Of course I am!” Amy actually looked indignant. “I’m not a heathen, Beca.” She rolled her eyes. “The pants I want to wear to dinner are tight, so I’m giving my bits time to breathe first.”

“Now that’s in my head.” Cynthia Rose muttered from the kitchen.

“That’s in all our heads,” Ashley said from the doorway behind them.

“You could always wear that blue skirt,” Chloe offered diplomatically. “That way you’re not uncomfortable for your birthday dinner.”

“I do look hot in that.” Amy thought about it while the rest of them made sounds of agreement. “Alright, you’ve swayed me. And as it’s almost that time, guess I’ll go upstairs and change.” She started to stand as Beca moved back then paused. “If you’d all turn around and give me some privacy while I wrap?”

Beca rolled her eyes as she turned to face the front window that, thankfully, had the curtains drawn. “That’s what you get for being half naked in the public areas of the house.”

“I got bored in my room.” Beca heard Amy stand up and the rustle of fabric. “Alright, I’m decent.”

“Hey!”

Beca jumped at the unexpected shout and looked over her shoulder. Stacie had come out of the kitchen and was pointing at the couch.

“That’s my favorite towel!” Outage filled her face. “I was looking for that for over a week!”

“It’s also the softest towel in the house.” Amy said as she picked it up, tucking the other firmly around her waist. “It’s the only thing that doesn’t hurt when I’m sitting.”

A choked sound from behind her brought Beca’s eyes back around to Chloe, who was biting the inside of her cheek and trying not to giggle. “I’m sure she’ll wash it before she gives it back.”

Beca tried to choke back her laugh and ended up sounding like a pug with a cold as she snickered into her hand.

“I think…” Stacie sighed. “Happy Birthday, Amy. It’s all yours.”

“You sure, Stretch?” Amy threw the towel in question over her shoulder. “I don’t think I’ll need it for much longer.”

“Yup.” Stacie nodded emphatically. “I’ll go get another one this weekend.”

“Thanks, Stacie.” Amy smiled at her before her lips twisted slightly. “Sorry I didn’t ask first.”

“’S okay.” Stacie shrugged. “Now go get changed so we can celebrate your day.”

“Are you allowed to give me orders on my birthday?” Amy mused as she headed for the stairs.

“Probably not,” Beca said. “But I’ll probably do it anyway.”

“Bossy.” Chloe whispered behind her and Beca flashed her a grin.

“Alright.” Beca clapped her hands once. “Show’s over, let’s go get our party outfits on and get some grub. We’ve got a Bella to celebrate.”

Stacie walked past her, shaking her head. “Bossy.”

Beca let her head fall back as she stared at the ceiling. “I can’t with you two.”

“What?” Stacie paused in the door to the entry. “Did we do the thing again?”

“Yup.” Chloe pushed Beca toward the stairs. “I called her that thirty seconds ago.” She high fived Stacie over Beca’s shoulder when the tall woman grinned and held out her hand.

“Score one for us.” Stacie laughed and started up the stairs.

“I hate you guys.” Beca said weakly as she followed.

“Liar,” Chloe laughed and ran her hand down Beca’s back.

“Maybe.” Beca let Chloe go before her.

“Definitely.”

“Yeah yeah,” Beca waved her up the stairs, unable to help admiring the way Chloe’s muscles flexed as she moved. “But seriously, my stomach just woke up and if I don’t feed it soon it’s going to take over the world.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” Stacie saluted as she stepped into her room.

“Smartass,” Beca threw back.

“And you love it.” Stacie closed the door with a laugh.

“Stop flirting with Stacie and let’s go change before you get hangry.” Chloe took her hand and tugged on it.

“She wishes,” Beca muttered but followed Chloe up to their room, ignoring the ‘Often’ that came from Stacie’s room behind them.

‘She’s got bat hearing, I swear.’ Beca thought to herself as she went to the closet to get her outfit for the night.

Tomorrow was still looming over them, but Beca pushed it all away, determined to think about Amy and the Bellas for the rest of the night.

It was one mistake and they’d just won three years in a row. Surely they weren’t in that much trouble.

Right?

#bechloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #all the other bellas #rise 1 #cyc fic tease #cyc motivational seeker

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welcometotheballpit · 3 years

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Are you still dreaming?

Yes... And as I dream, I dream what I always do.

I dream that I am her...

She is human, with long strawberry blonde hair and eyes that are green or brown, but flash a brilliant orange when faced to the sun, shading her face with a small hand as she blinks up at it.

She has the kind of face that one would see on a tin of cocoa, smiling a dimpled smile. Her nail polish is chipped. She is happy.

She has a job she doesn't hate that has benefits that are alright. She has friends and family that loves her, and an old cat that she dotes on. She's doing well for her age, they all tell her. She writes in her spare time, and has gotten good enough where some pay her to do so.

She's doing well, they all say, and it is true. While it cannot be said that misfortune has not ever visited her, she seems to live in a sunbeam. It was the hope of her mother to live in this way, and her name reflects it.

It means something... Something good... but she can't seem to remember it at the moment. It's a wish, her mother's first gift to her.

One day as she leaves for work, pulling her hair from her face as she exits the air-conditioned office and into the garden curated in front of the parking lot, there is a crane standing in the small artificial pond.

The beast cocks it's pale slender neck, a streak of red across its eyes as it opens a delicate mouth, "I'm so sorry," It tells her in a deep voice, "But you're going to die tonight."

Her brows furrow.

She gets in her car and begins to drive. The commute isn't bad considering what others have to go through. She turns on a podcast and the same low voice returns, "I'm so sorry... but you're going to die tonight..."

She turns it off.

There is a fire raging by the roadside, sending tendrils of orange and purple over the pavement, but for some reason she doesn't feel afraid. She watches it as she drives by, sending shocks of purple and orange light across her face reflecting in the rear-view mirror.

When she gets home she throws her purse to the side and sighs. She looks to her cat sitting on her bed, it's eyes wide and blue as he regards her in return.

"Georgie..." She asks, "Am I really going to die tonight?"

The cat stares at her for a moment and then- "Yes," He clarifies, "I'm afraid so."

She smiles sadly, blood pouring out from between her teeth. She falls then, feeling her insides rebelling against her.

"I'm so sorry," The elder clown sighs. He looks down at her from where he has been all along in the shadowed corner of the room. "My dear... you are going to die tonight."

She frowns, "But... why?" She shakes her head, "I... I was doing so well..."

The elder clown sighs at her, "Do you not remember? Your mother once told you that you had been a particularly difficult pregnancy. There were so many times where you were supposed to have died, but death stayed it's hand. Like a hunter who waits, watching the doe walk peacefully in the field for just a moment longer." He shakes his head, "But you have used all of your grace... It's congenital, you see. You were born broken, a fatal flaw in your very design. You were made to die... It's a miracle that you even made it this long... "

She frowned, noticing now through her pain the stilted way the creature walked, the way it's flesh seemed to drip like over-proofed bread dough, and ever empathic she felt sympathy even as she lay dying. "W-what's wrong with you?"

The elder clown sighed, "Like you, I am not long for this world. My kind are... unstable in this dimension. My molecular structure is degrading." He leans down, giving the bloodied human a look, "Which is why I have come to you."

She laughs, a small pitiful thing that pulls more blood from her throat, dribbling down her chin and staining her blouse, "I'm sorry, but I'm in no place to help anyone."

"Oh but you are..." The elder clown runs a hand through her blood-sticky hair. "Make a deal with me, and I can ensure that we both live... in a way..."

"What do you want?"

"Let me have your skin," It explains, "Your blood, your bone structure, the blueprints of your body that allow you to exist here. It will stabilize me."

She frowns, "I...What do I get in return? How can I live if you take that?"

"Because my dear, when I dream, you will be alive again... You'll live and walk and breathe, though it will be in a world that isn't quite your own."

There are tears running down her face now, diluting the blood, "Can I... have some time to think about it?"

The clown shakes his head, "For you my dear... there is none left. Besides... you've already accepted a very long time ago...."

"Ah," She smiles sadly, her teeth stained with blood, "I did, didn't I."

And with that I awake, eyes opening to my domain. It always takes me a moment to readjust, to feel like myself again in the skin that I've borrowed.

Because when I dream, it's always of her.

#ominous #horror #elder clown #the elder clown #clowns #clowncore #clownblr

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jeremymurray · 3 years

Text

This is a shipping fanfic of two OCs from my dnd group. I wrote this as a joke but came to love it and it brings me endless joy. In Canon, these two characters are not on good terms, Geth thinks Vardis is a fool and has nothing but disdain for him and Vardis is truely indifferent of Geth, however this is a crackship. Where we're going, Canon doesn't matter!

Geth Brightwinds, my character, an elven contract assassin in love with his work. A particularly callous individual with a love of whips and knives.

Vardis Septimus Elthorian the 3, a human Warlock following the whims of a sleeping eldritch terror. He does not sleep, rambles endlessly and has a genuine joy for life.

A Troubled Love

LordShadowlovexx

It was a cold bitter night as Geth returned to his home in Sunport. With his latest contract fulfilled, he was looking forward to a quiet night alone in his home with a bottle of wine he'd picked up back in Iscaria.

He thought about those days, the many battles fought and won. The many people he met along the way. He sighed heavily at the thought of his lost allies.

"If only he were still here. I've missed his touch." Geth wishfully thought about his adrift lover Vardis. A small smile crept onto his face as he remembered the passion filled nights they shared in Pala and on the road to Southold.

"No!" Geth shook his head, forcing the thoughts from his mind, and the smile from his face.

"Vardis abandoned us! He left us at the most important time!" Geth thought, with all his anger burning inside. "He betrayed us and the contract we had! The only suitable punishment for betrayal, is death, there are no exceptions!" Geth's face wore an expression of sadness and anger at this thought.

"What if there was a workaround?" The thought echoed through his mind, like a shot ringing out.

Geth was so distracted by this line of thought, he nearly walked past his own front door. Stashing these thoughts away, he quickly produced his keys and reached for the door. As soon as he touched the door, it slowly creaked open. "Someone is inside." Geth thought as he quietly opened the door and snuck in. He drew his knife and whip and prepared himself for a fight.

He entered his house and immediately smelt something sweet. It was a strong flowery smell, reminiscent of the scented candles a kind neighbor gave him as a house warming gift. Geth followed his nose, searching for any signs of an ambush. It didn't take long to find the source of the smell.

Geth opened the door to his bedroom where the sweet smell was coming from. He took one look at the room and saw that the room was untouched, except for a small scented candle that shone brightly in the darkness. Geth sheathed his weapons, walked over to the candle and put it out.

Suddenly, Geth heard a familiar voice completing an incantation. "It can't be!" Geth thought as he turned towards the voice, drawing his weapons. It was too late. Geth's muscles locked into place and fear swelled in his heart. "No, I can't let it end like this!" Geth watched in anger and fear as Vardis walked into his view.

"Listen, I know you're mad I left you and you think I betrayed you, but you've got it wrong. I had to leave because Giziar put a bomb in me and he would've killed me if I left. I never wanted to leave you and I've thought about you everyday since I left. Well, almost everyday, some days I was too busy running or dealing with business or, you know how it is. Anyways, I've missed your touch and those lustful nights we spent together." With that, Vardis kissed Geth's lips.

"This can't be happening," Geth thought as Vardis kissed him ardently. "This is everything I want, but it can't be so. I *must* kill him," thought Geth sorrowfully. "There is no loophole. There is no other way. Vardis must die. When I can move again, the deed shall be done. He is grasping me close, his heart, neck and throat are exposed and ready for the knife." A moment passed and suddenly Geth could move again.

With one quick movement this could've been over. A flick of the wrist, a thrust of the arm and Vardis would be dead, but that movement never came. The moment Geth regained control, he dropped the dagger and kissed Vardis back. "Why did I do that? Why didn't I kill him? I know the rules, there is no other option," Geth ruminated while sexily removing Vardis' clothes, "Perhaps the kill can wait? I've waited this long, I can wait one night longer." Geth pushed Vardis onto the bed and made sweet love all night long.

The next morning, Geth awoke to something odd. He couldn't see and his hands and legs were tied. Geth felt around with the little movement his restraints allowed and with great difficulty, removed the blindfold. He looked about the room and saw no trace of Vardis.

"Vardis, you bastard!" Geth thought. "Leaving me tied up like this is a dirty trick!"

"Yes, but you were going to kill me, I heard everything you thought and there was no other course to take."

"Next I see you-"

"Yes, yes. I know, you're going to kill me. Listen, for what it's worth, this was fun. I'll miss you."

"Vardis! Don't you leave me like this! Vardis? Vardis!!!" Geth yelled in his mind, hoping for one last response, but it didn't come.

"Well, I'm going to be stuck here for a while. The maid doesn't come until Wednesday and it's Tuesday, so at least I have that going for me."

Author's note:

This project came from a short conversation we had back in November, when we briefly discussed podcasting our sessions. I joked about receiving a fanfic shipping Vardis and Geth and then spent 3 months working on this on and off. I mostly wrote it in between busy moments at work and I had an absolute blast writing this. I hope you enjoyed it.

P.S.

The name at the top, "LordShadowlovexx," was a joke I started this with. I intended to write this with the perspective of a 14 year-old fan and I chose a name that would be cool to 14 year-old me.

#fanfic #fantasy #mlm post #i dont know how tags work #long reads #shipping trash #crackship #oc #dnd #GETDIS4LYF

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