The "why are people criticizing romance tarot readers, I don't want to do shadow work readings" shit I saw on here a few months ago did a lot to my psyche, mostly make me realize I should not be consuming that content as much as I have been over the past few years.

I also learned that anyone who has a problem with doing shadow work or self reflection readings but obsesses over romance are probably suffering with limerence like me and that snapped me tf awake

Edit: also what the FUCK do you mean "if this pile just sounds like it's describing yourself, that just means your person is mirroring you!!" NO???? THAT MEANS YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON YOURSELF BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE WHY ARE WE SAYING THIS TO IMPRESSIONABLE PEOPLE

Rip Off the Tag, Get Him Mad

Summary: Konig’s magnetic walk and mysterious mask make him a new darling in the fashion industry, and you manage to score an exclusive interview with him. You might not know what he looks like — but you sure do know what he tastes like.

Pairing: Konig x Reader

Warnings: afab!reader, dub con, dom!Konig, p-in-v, fellatio, mating press, dirty talk, brat taming, breeding kink, cum eating, creampie, badly translated German, reader goes by she/her pronouns, probably not very accurate in terms of both journalism and fashion but who cares I’m only here for sexy times.

Word count: 3,696 words

NSFW. MDNI!

a/n: Got inspired while listening to New Bottega by Azealia Banks and all I could picture in my head was supermodel!Konig for no reason lmao. As always, suggestion and feedback are always welcome along with reblogs and likes. Thank you for reading! ❤️

I put the boy in Galliano, now he’s a fuckin’ model

It was four in the morning and you had just landed in Vienna, your third destination for this week alone. Paris and Milan had taken their toll on your body, leaving you feeling so exhausted and jetlagged that you wondered if they had already become your permanent companions forever. Tired and bleary-eyed, you are ready for a break, but duty called.

You’re one of the most seasoned and notorious fashion journalists, never holding back on saying what everyone’s thinking, even if it means models walking out or crying during your interviews. It’s not personal though; you’re just doing your job, and damn, you’re good at it. Your knack for keeping it real and staying objective makes you stand out in the game.

You managed to sneak in a few hours of sleep before getting ready for Vienna Fashion Week. That afternoon, you rocked a cool vibe with an oversized black blazer that had this rad belt and chain combo going on. The vibe continued with a flowy, see-through black maxi skirt — the kind that made people do a double take. Toss in a mini bag swinging casually by your side, and you are ready to own the fashion week. Of course, the look wouldn't be complete without knee-high black boots, giving off major laid-back but put-together vibes. You kept your makeup minimal because you wanted your outfit to be the focal point of the entire look.

As you arrived at the event, fashion photographers and paparazzi started flocking to you, asking what you’re wearing and what you’re most excited to see during this fashion week. You posed for some photos and answered some questions. After navigating the sea of photographers, you made your way inside, where the atmosphere buzzed with the energy of influential figures in the fashion world, celebrities, and social media influencers. Greetings and compliments flowed as you mingled with the diverse crowd, exchanging smiles and posing for candid snapshots with some of the industry’s most notable figures.

You found yourself in the company of those who shaped the fashion landscape. The anticipation for the runway shows heightened as you took your seat in front row, surrounded by the pulsating energy of the fashion elite. The runway was set to unfold, promising a spectacle that would undoubtedly leave an incredible mark on this fashion week.

It was a runway showcasing the Fall/Winter ready-to-wear collection for men from one of the most prestigious high-fashion brands in the world. Anticipating a display of dark and muted tones, you were aware that the brand had embraced a theme this year focusing on leather. Getting a peek at this theme had you all hyped up, ready to see the slick and stylish gear they’re about to drop.

It doesn’t take long before the lights dim, signaling the start of the show. The sharp contrast between the dim lighting and focused spotlights heightens the dramatic atmosphere as models strut down the runway, showcasing the leather-themed collection. Stud appliques, dark makeup, and industrial styling add an edgy flair as they graze the runway. You’re making mental notes for your upcoming review, absolutely impressed with what you're witnessing. The collection has been really magnificent, surpassing your usual expectations.

The entire show lasted around fifteen minutes before the final model made his entrance. The man that has been the talk of the fashion industry for the last eight months. He strutted in wearing an absolutely grandiose leather coat, wearing a Swarovski-studded mask that covered his entire face. The confidence in his walk conveyed a commanding presence, making it seem as if the entire audience was under his control.

Konig, a native Austrian with real name, age and hair color unknown, stands six foot ten, weighing two hundred and seventy pounds and has piercing blue eyes. The man has been nothing but an enigma, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. Opening and closing runaways for prestigious high-end brands — a position that takes years for other models to secure. And what’s even wilder? He pulled it off within his first two months in the industry.

His social media has tens of millions of followers and zero following. The entire page is a curated showcase of his portfolios and videos of his runway walks, nothing more. It doesn’t seem like he’s the one handling his account either. Everything is perfectly set up, adding this extra layer of mystery to him.

You can’t help but wonder: Who is this man? Who’s behind his sudden meteoric rise? Is he a nepo baby? Is he some kind of industry insider pulling strings to get all these bookings without even having a single portfolio before? Could he be a pro basketball player doing a side gig in modeling? Or what if he’s an alien in human disguise? So many questions, but not a single answer. You’ve asked so many people in the industry about him, but it seems like nobody has a clue either.

You’ve seen his casting polaroids and test shoot photos, and even in those, he’s wearing a mask, revealing only his eyes. It really makes you wonder, because that’s the complete opposite of the purpose of taking those photos. They’re meant to showcase your bare face, not cover it up. Yet, somehow, he’s scoring bookings when practically no one has seen his face. How does he even manage to do that?

There are rumors circulating that just a very few high-profile figures in the industry actually know what he looks like, and they can be counted with one hand. Some claim he’s hiding an unflattering appearance under that mask, that’s why he insists on covering his face despite of his exceptional walk and stage presence. Others insist he looks like he’s actually sculpted by a Greek God himself, but he prefers recognition for his walk rather than his looks.

He’s also notorious for rejecting interviews and walking out on them. Even when he agrees to an interview, it's usually short and filled with vague answers. But one day, you send a proposal for an exclusive interview to his management and discover that he’s accepted your request, but he insists it should happen at his own home in Vienna. His request seems a bit unprofessional to you, but it’s your only chance to uncover who this man really is. So, you agreed on his term.

And fortunately for you, that lucky day is today.

After attending a handful more runway shows for the day, you’ve wrapped up your work and are heading back to your hotel. Now, you’re diving into drafting the upcoming articles slated for this fashion week, as you prepare to interview Konig, the man and the myth himself tonight.

Your heart is pounding with a mix of anticipation and nervousness, and you have no idea why. It’s been a long time since you’ve felt anything like this. You’ve interviewed dozens of models in your life, so what’s the difference between them and him? Usually, it’s them who are scared of you, not the other way around.

Brushing aside that feeling, you started preparing for the interview this evening. After a refreshing shower, you got dressed and did your makeup. Wearing a silk white long-sleeve shirt paired with a black pencil midi skirt and black stilettos, you finished the look with a bold choice — ruby red lipstick. For some reason, you’re feeling especially bold for tonight’s interview.

He lives not far from your hotel as you reached your destination in less than fifteen minutes. Following the address provided by his management, you entered the building and found his apartment. Without hesitation, you rang on the doorbell.

He opened the door in no time. It caught you off guard as it was the first time you’ve seen him up close. Describing him as tall seems like a massive understatement; his presence is downright colossal as he stands right in front of you. Dressed in a balaclava, a snug black t-shirt accentuating his sculpted body, and green army-colored cargo pants. This is the first time you’ve had a close look at his eyes, and they are breathtaking — a gorgeous shade of steely blue.

“I’ve been expecting you. Please, come in.” Konig said as he gestured for you to come inside.

As you entered his home, you could see that this man has an exquisite taste in decor. His loft has high ceilings and large windows, making the space feel open and airy. The brick walls and exposed piping create a natural, industrial feel, while the rich, warm tones of red and orange add a cozy touch to the space. The walls are adorned with numerous photographs of his work as a model.

He gestured for you to take a seat on the couch and asked what you’d like to drink. You told him water’s fine, so he disappeared into the kitchen for a bit. When he came back, he placed a glass of water on the coffee table in front of you. He sits on the couch across from you afterward.

“Konig, thank you very much for agreeing to meet with me for this interview. Our magazine really appreciates your time and willingness to share your story with us.” You told him as you took your phone out of your bag, opening the recording app on it.

He leaned back on the couch, crossing his arms. “Anything I could do to help, miss.” he said. You could hear his deep voice with a thick German accent as this is first time you heard him speak.

“By accepting this interview, you consent to being recorded during our conversation today, alright?” you said to him as you pushed the ‘record’ button on your phone. He only nodded in approval.

You began your interview by asking him cookie-cutter questions, such as what inspired him to pursue modeling as a career, how he handles the challenges of balancing work and personal life, who his fashion icons are and how they influenced his personal style, how he stays fit and healthy while maintaining a demanding modeling schedule, and how he handles criticism and negative feedback from the fashion industry and the public. And of course, he answered them all with cookie-cutter answers too.

You could hear the cockiness and smugness in his tone, and you could feel that it annoys you a little bit. Despite being a relative rookie in the scene, his ego seems to radiate through his presence. However, that’s precisely the reason you’re here for this interview — to unmask who this man actually is.

You’re now ready to ask him a tougher question, intending to push his buttons slowly but sure. You’ve convinced yourself that it’s going to happen today. It has to, because this is your only chance.

“Can you explain your reasoning behind the mask? Usually models rely on their facial features as a part of their appeal, so covering it seems counterintuitive.”

Konig seems a bit caught off guard by your question. He stays quiet for a moment, clearly thinking how to respond. You can see that the question has ticked him off a little bit.

“Is that your attempt at a compliment? I’m flattered. I can do whatever I want with my appearance.” Konig answered sarcastically, but the annoyance in his tone was crystal clear. “Besides, I don’t think it’s interrupting my work. I showcase the clothes on the runway, demonstrating what they need to sell. At the end of the day, that's what matters as a model, isn’t it?” he continues.

You can’t argue with him because, well, he’s right. He did his job exactly the way they wanted, and he’s damn good at it. So, all you can do is nod at his answer.

You kept your composure as you continue with your interview, “It’s been suggested that your parents are highly influential figures in the fashion industry and that their connections may have contributed to your quick rise to fame. How would you respond to those allegations?”

Konig let out a scoff, his tone dripping with mockery in response to your next question. “I get it, there are some rumors going around that my parents are some moguls in the fashion industry and they have connections that helped me get where I am today, but let me set this straight: my parents have never worked in the fashion industry and all the success I’ve achieved is because of my own hard work and determination. Just because my career has taken off doesn’t mean it isn’t legit.”

Konig is clearly annoyed at this point, but he still manages to answer your question. You’re surprised he hasn't kicked you out of his home yet. But when you’re about to ask your last question but he suddenly cuts you off,

“You’re really nosy, aren’t you?”

“What can I say, it comes with the job requirement.”

You finally manage to talk back to him because his attitude is clearly getting under your skin, just like your questions seem to annoy him. While he might believe he can act however he pleases, he’s unaware that you’re a journalist. If it weren’t for your commitment to integrity and professionalism, you could easily run your thoughts about his attitude at this point.

“Look, one last question and I’ll be out of your hair,” you told him, you can see his patience is clearly running low at this point. However, what he didn’t know is that you’re about to drop a bomb on him.

“Did you earn your success through talent or hard work or did you have to do… other thing to get where you are today?”

His eyes narrowed into a fierce glare while he stares at you, he clearly doesn’t like the question at all. You could practically feel the tension in the air as he clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth underneath that mask as a silent display of anger.

“I don’t like what you’re implying.”

“And my question still stands.”

He leans forward on the couch, anger flashing vividly in his eyes and now you can almost feel the heat of his irritation as he growls in frustration.

“You can cut through the formal bullshit and just say what you want to say.”

You take your phone from the coffee table and press the ‘stop’ button, finally responding to him in a calm manner.

“Did you fuck your way up to the top, Konig?”

And that was his breaking point. He suddenly stands up from his couch as he walks toward you, anger intensifying in his eyes. He grabs your chin forcefully, making you meet his gaze.

“Not only nosy, but you also have a filthy little mouth, aren’t ya, maus?” you could feel his strong hand squeezing your face so hard that it feels like he’s trying to break your jaw. It was so painful that you couldn’t answer to him at all.

“But don’t worry, I’m gonna do something about it, so you won’t run your filthy mouth anymore, especially at me.” he growls at you while his other hand is unbuckling his belt and unzipped his pants, revealing this thick, enormous cock, already dripping with precum. He grabbed it and then started smearing the precum on your face, slapping his cock a few times on your cheeks.

“You need some serious disciplining, maus. Didn’t they teach you at school that it’s not nice to curse at other people, hm?” Konig started to tease the tip of his cock of your lips, smearing your lips with his precum.

“You’re lucky that I’m here, maybe I can teach you a thing or two about how to behave towards other people. Now open that filthy fucking mouth.” his other hand squeezed your mouth open and he thrusted his cock inside your mouth, forcing you to engulf his entire length in one go, making you violently gag as you could feel his tip touched the back of your throat. And now, he moved his hand from your face to your hair, grabbing a handful of it as he rapidly fucking your mouth.

Tears began streaming down your cheeks, mascara and lipstick began to smear across your face. It’s getting hard for you to breathe because he shoved his cock so deep and slamming it on the back of your throat, pounding over and over again mercilessly. His grip is so strong; it feels like he’s going to rip your entire scalp off.

“Fuuuuck, this mouth of yours is so fucking tight and warm. You should consider leaving your current job and become my personal fuck toy, maus. I would love to use this filthy mouth however and whenever I want, it seems like it’s the only good use for it.” he snickers with a devilish gleam in his eyes while he keeps fucking your mouth relentlessly. You started choking on his length, but he didn’t seem to care, in fact, it made him slam his cock even faster.

It feels like this has been going on forever, and you’re afraid you might get lockjaw anytime soon. But you could feel he’s so close to orgasm as his cock starts twitching in your mouth.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum. I hope you’re ready, schatz, because I’m gonna fill that filthy mouth real good,” he grunts as his thrust becoming more and more erratic. It only takes a couple more thrusts before he came, coating you’re the walls of mouth with his thick seeds.

Konig finally pulled his cock out from your mouth. His cum tastes so bitter, but when you’re about to spit it out, he forcefully grabbed your face again, now facing his face directly.

“You’re not allowed to spit it out. I want you to swallow it but only when I said so. Now be a good girl and keep it in your mouth, but if you didn’t, I can promise that you won’t like the punishment at all. Understood?” he snarls at you but your mouth is so full of his cum you so can only nod at his words.

“Good, because I’m not done with you,” Konig suddenly pushed you back down to the couch as he pulls your legs up forcefully, ripping the side of your tight skirt and yanked your panties, also ripping it in the process. He puts your legs around his waist as he put his cock on top your stomach, seeing how deep it’s gonna go inside of you.

“Hmmm, I don’t think the entire thing is gonna fit. But don’t worry, schatz, I’ll make it fit. I know you can do it, you’re a big girl after all.” Konig lightly taps your cheek, he’s trying to sound sweet but you hear the venom in his tone. You know at that moment he’s definitely going to destroy you.

“Are you on the pill?” he asked again. You can only shake your head, hoping that he’ll go easy on you. “Heh, good.” he suddenly pulled your legs up over his shoulder and titled towards you, he then whispers in a husky tone,

“Weil ich dich so hart ficken werde, bis du mich zum Papa machst.”

His cock suddenly dipping into you, makes you nearly chocked on his cum. You can feel the tip of his cock stretched your cervix thin, slamming the same spot repeatedly as he folds your body like an origami. You feel like you’re going to sprain your neck if you stay in this position for a long time, but of course he didn’t care. He keeps using your body like you’re his personal cum dumpster.

You’re trying to protest but you can’t open your mouth, otherwise you’re gonna spill out his cum and you definitely don’t want that. Only a stifled whimper escapes your lips. He chuckled in response to your failed attempt at protest.

“Not”—thrust—“so”—thrust—“nosy”—thrust—“any”—thrust— “more”—thrust—“aren’t”—thrust—“you”

He’s pounding you hard and fast with each syllable of his words. Your eyes rolled back to the back of your head. Your mind went numb at the intense pleasure.

“Your pussy is so fucking tight, and it’s all mine to use.” he growls at you as he keeps fucking you mercilessly. You’re not on the pill and he’s not using a condom, so there’s a chance he’s going to get you pregnant after this, but they way he’s fucking you so hard and so good makes you not want him to stop until both of you are satisfied.

You can feel he’s close to orgasm again and so are you. Just a couple more thrusts, he finally came inside of you as both of you reached your climax at the same time. Filling you with his thick, milky white cum. Your cheek throbs with pain, your mind feels foggy, and your vision blurs into static.

Konig finally put down your legs, as he seeing his thick cum oozing from your now sore, puffy cunt. He gazes at it, amusement and desire dripping from his eyes. “Now swallow my cum, maus. Stick your tongue out when you’re done, I wanna see you swallow it all.”

You obey him as you swallowed all his cum and sticks out your tongue as a prove. “What an obedient girl.” he said, you can see him smiling through his mask.

He pulls up his pants and plop down next to you on the couch, while you’re still catching your breath and trying to gain your composure.

“I’ll be in New York in two days, and I assume this interview isn’t over. I will tell my manager to send you the hotel address where I’m staying and the room number. I’m expecting to see you there.” he said softly as he caresses your hair gently.

You replied, “I will come, but with one condition: I want to see your face. Otherwise, it's not going to happen.”

He chuckled at your request, “If you play your cards right, that request is not off the table,” he said as he keeps caressing your hair, “But only if you’re a good girl, okay, beautiful?”

He scooches over towards you, leaning as he whispers in your ear,

“Otherwise, I’ll use you just like I use the rest of them.”

𝐒𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐓

╚»★«╝ 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐞𝐧: 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 x 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐫!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ╚»★«╝

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: fluff

‌🇷‌🇦‌🇹‌🇮‌🇳‌🇬‌: non-explicit

🇵‌🇴‌🇻‌: 2nd person; You/Your

🇩‌🇪‌🇸‌🇨‌🇷‌🇮‌🇵‌🇹‌🇮‌🇴‌🇳‌: in which, you and gojo make a truce.

🇼‌🇴‌🇷‌🇩‌ 🇨‌🇴‌🇺‌🇳‌🇹‌: 3.2k

🇦‌/🇳‌‌: Ah, this was cute for me to make 🥹 read 𝐎𝐇, 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐑𝐘𝐈𝐍'? to understand this.

★·.·´🇯‌🇺‌🇯‌🇺‌🇹‌🇸‌🇺‌ 🇰‌🇦‌🇮‌🇸‌🇪‌🇳‌ 🇲‌🇦‌🇸‌🇹‌🇪‌🇷‌🇱‌🇮‌🇸‌🇹‌`·.·★

You pushed through the throng of party-goers, a lingering feeling of bitterness coating your mood. The scent of a myriad of perfumes mingled with the more robust aroma of alcohol, forming a heady concoction that filled the air. Colored lights danced on the walls, giving the entire space a dream-like quality. But it felt like the kind of dream that you’d want to wake up from—claustrophobic and too far removed from comfort. All around you, bodies swayed to the rhythm of some pop song, the bass thumping like an anxious heartbeat.

A flare of bitterness darkened your mood, cutting through the sensory overload like a bolt of lightning. It was as if your mind wanted to remind you why you were here in the first place. And just like that, you were propelled back into the memory that started it all.

🇫‌🇱‌🇦‌🇸‌🇭‌🇧‌🇦‌🇨‌🇰‌:

You sat across from Shoko Leiri in the coffee shop, your cup of black coffee long forgotten as she leaned earnestly over the table. Her eyes had a desperate sheen to them. "You know I don't have anyone else to go with," she pouted.

Skeptical, you cocked an eyebrow. "You're friends with Gojo, aren't you?" Your voice was sharp, a keen-edged blade of disdain. In your mind’s eye, the infamous GoShoGeta trio materialized—Gojo, Geto, and Shoko, thick as thieves in any snapshot of the past.

She laughed, but there was a nervous energy to it. "Come on, Gojo won't be there," she reassured you, her eyes searching yours for acquiescence. "And Geto's probably holed up somewhere with his books, as usual."

Her words had sounded genuine enough then, making the reality of the situation even more biting.

That assurance seemed hollow now as you reached the kitchen. Your heels clicked on the tiled floor, each step a punctuation mark in your mental soliloquy of regret. The room was less congested, a quiet sanctuary in comparison to the madness outside. There were a few stragglers leaning against countertops, engaged in hushed conversations or swiping through their phones. You eyed the array of drink options, eventually settling on something simple—vodka mixed with a splash of lemonade.

You grasped the cup, the plastic cool against your skin, and took a sip. The liquid was both sweet and biting, an appropriate metaphor for the evening so far. For a moment, just a brief one, you found solace in the quiet. Your shoulders eased, your grip on the cup lessened—until his voice snuck up on you, shattering the sanctuary you had momentarily built for yourself.

"Well, well, well, didn't expect to see you here," Gojo drawled. His voice was honey-smooth but carried a sarcastic undertone that you knew all too well.

Your scowl deepened, each muscle in your face pulling downwards as if guided by an invisible force. "The feeling's mutual," you retorted, eyes narrowed.

"Nice outfit," Gojo commented slyly, his eyes taking a brief tour of what you were wearing. You could feel his dark gaze moving up and down, making you all too aware of the shortness of your skirt. You tugged at the hem, mentally cursing Shoko for talking you into wearing it.

"Thanks. It's called 'dressing up,' you should try it sometime," you shot back, side-eyeing his casual attire, which seemed permanently locked between 'college dropout' and 'I woke up like this.'

Gojo chuckled, a sound that did strange things to your heart rate. "Why, so I can be as uncomfortable as you seem to be right now?"

Ignoring the jab, you refocused on your drink. But before you could take another sip, Gojo closed the gap between you, reaching over to toy with the end of one of your knotless braids. His touch sent a flurry of mixed signals through your nervous system—both unwelcome yet intriguing.

"Hands off," you snapped, swatting his hand away. "Don't touch what you can't afford."

He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Can't afford? You're underestimating me."

As he said this, he slouched down a bit, lowering his sunglasses just enough to lock eyes with you. The world seemed to pause, and for a moment, it was just the two of you in a universe of unspoken tension.

"I never underestimate. I just know your limits," you replied, holding his gaze. "Clearly, you don't know mine."

He grinned, clearly pleased by the sparring. "Well, isn't this party just full of surprises?"

With a roll of your eyes, you took that as your cue to leave. Ignoring the magnetic pull of Gojo’s gaze, you navigated through the sea of faces and found an isolated couch. It sat away from the pulsing music and swaying bodies, a lone island in this chaotic ocean.

Throwing yourself onto the cushion, you reached for your phone, swiping through an endless feed of photos and updates as if each flick could distance you from the present moment. Your thumb paused on a particularly engaging article, the black letters against the white background creating a comfortable zone of disengagement.

But then, just as you’d almost forgotten where you were, Shoko's voice sliced through your bubble of isolation. "Come on, we're playing a game upstairs."

Her words dangled in the air like a challenge, a beckoning finger towards another layer of this maddening night. Could you really say no?

As soon as you reached the upstairs room, Shoko abandoned you to mix and mingle with the other attendees, most of whom you didn't particularly care to know. You were left standing by the door, feeling as out of place as a cat at a dog show. For a split second, you considered making a hasty exit—your mind screamed, 'Abort mission, abort!'

While you were internally debating your next move, your eyes accidentally met Gojo's. He was manspreading in a plush chair, exuding an air of nonchalant confidence. When he realized you were looking his way, he tilted his head and gave you a devilish smirk. Then, without breaking eye contact, he decided to speak across the room, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"You planning on joining us, or are you just here for the decor?" he called out, making it painfully obvious that the only seat left was right beside him. The room seemed to quiet down just a notch, awaiting your response.

Noticing you still hesitating by the door, Gojo gestured towards his lap with a grin that was far too pleased with itself. "You can sit here if you want," he added, his tone leaving you unsure if he was joking or serious. It was his way of daring you, challenging you to break the stand-off.

Your face felt as if it were on fire, but you refused to let him get the best of you. Gathering your composure, you crossed the room and lowered yourself into the seat next to him, ignoring the clear invitation to his lap, all while maintaining a scowl. "I'm here because I was invited. That's how parties work, you know."

His laughter was soft, as if he was enjoying a private joke. "Ah, the complexities of social interaction. How ever do you keep up?"

You had to bite your tongue to keep from lashing out; as you settled in, something caught your attention—a subtle difference in the air, a missing layer of tension. His limitless Cursed Technique, something he almost always had active, was conspicuously absent. Your senses, no longer numb to his annoyingly powerful aura, prickled at the realization. Why would he let his guard down, even for a moment?

Just as you started to puzzle over this new revelation, a bubbly voice piped up. "Alright, everyone ready to play Spin the Bottle?" announced a student you vaguely recognized from one of your classes.

Your eyes widened just a fraction and your posture automatically straightened into a rigid line. Spin the Bottle? Seriously?

Your eyes darted around the room, as if searching for an escape route, before finally locking onto Shoko across the space. Her eyes widened too, clearly sharing in your disbelief. This was a real-life, are-you-kidding-me moment.

In the world of cliché teen movies you'd both binged on, it was always Truth or Dare, not Spin the Bottle. Truth or Dare was manageable, a game you could strategize around. But this? This was uncharted territory, an abyss of uncertainty that made your stomach churn. Your eyes communicated every word you didn't say, shouting across the room, 'Spin the Bottle? Really, Shoko?'

Shoko shrugged, her lips curling into a half-grin, half-apologetic smile. You could almost hear her whispering a mental, 'Sorry, girl, not my doing', but her eyes held a glint of mischievous delight.

A wave of internal panic washed over you. Spin the Bottle? You'd never even had a boyfriend, and now you were expected to kiss someone in this room of all places? The notion seemed both laughable and horrifying. As your mind raced, you stole a glance at Gojo. He looked utterly unbothered—his posture was relaxed, his eyes hidden behind his shades, but you could tell he was already miles away in his thoughts.

A few rounds passed, and with each spin of the bottle, your anxiety level ratcheted up another notch. You weren't the only one preoccupied with the spinning vessel. Hushed conversations bubbled around you—people not-so-secretly hoping the bottle would land on Gojo. You couldn't blame them; he had this casual kind of hotness, an effortless allure that made him attractive even when he was being insufferably arrogant. Your gaze kept shifting to Gojo, whose eyes you could feel on you every so often.

Just as your mind began to wander, imagining what kind of uproar there would be if the bottle landed on him, a pat on your shoulder snapped you back to reality. Your face flushed, your eyes darting around to find everyone's attention on you.

"Y-yes?" you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper.

"It's your turn," someone said, pulling you from your mini life crisis. Your heart sank; there was no escape.

No big deal, it'll land on a girl and it'll be over quickly, you thought, attempting to muster up some courage.

Just as you reached forward to give the bottle a spin, you felt it—the shift in the room, the spike in attention, a palpable current of anticipation. And there, from the corner of your eye, you saw Gojo sit up a little straighter, his gaze now clearly fixed on you.

The room held its breath as you flicked the bottle into a spin, all eyes following its dizzying twirl, including yours and Gojo's. For a moment, the world stood still. Your eyes were fixed on the bottle, its neck accusingly pointing at Gojo as if it had been in on the universe's little joke. A collective gasp enveloped the room, followed by a few snickers and excited murmurs. Your heart felt like it was trying to escape your chest, each beat a rapid thud against your ribcage.

Slowly, your eyes lifted from the bottle to Gojo. He'd already pushed his sunglasses up onto the top of his snowy white hair, revealing eyes that were half-lidded yet intensely focused—on you. "Looks like fate has plans for us," he murmured, his tone teasing yet somehow serious, making you wonder what lay behind those words.

Gojo's gaze felt like it was piercing through you, laying your soul bare. A wave of vulnerability washed over you; it was as if he could see your every thought, your every uncertainty. And damn it all, why did he have to look so good doing it? He was the epitome of relaxed elegance, from the tousled waves of his white hair to the cool confidence that radiated off him. Even in a room filled with people, he was like a singular flame, undeniably drawing everyone's eyes to him, including yours.

Your eyes flicked back to Shoko for a moment, searching for some sort of lifeboat in this sea of awkwardness. She was biting her lip, visibly torn between horror and delight, yet she offered you a thumbs-up for encouragement.

Turning back to Gojo, you knew you had to respond. A simple nod, a sarcastic comment, anything—but your words were stuck, lodged somewhere between your racing heart and your speechless mouth.

Finally, you managed to find your voice. "Well," you said, trying to keep it light but feeling the weight of everyone's attention on you, "it wouldn't be a party without a little drama, right?"

In that split second of silence that followed, Gojo's hands moved almost of their own accord, gently cupping the sides of your face. His touch was light but grounding, pulling your attention away from the crowd and back to the present—back to him. As he leaned in closer, his eyes searched yours for any sign of hesitance. The room around you seemed to fade away, all chatter and laughter melding into an indistinct buzz. It was just you and Gojo in that moment, eyes locked and a hair's breadth away from a kiss.

He must have noticed the anxiety in your eyes, the slight quiver of your lips, because he stopped. His face was mere centimeters from your own, close enough to feel the warmth radiating off him. "Just look at me," he whispered, his voice a low caress that threaded through the tension within you. His thumb gently brushed against the apple of your cheek, a comforting touch that pulled a sigh from your lips.

The kiss started off soft, a simple melding of lips, but then his mouth opened slightly and your heart pounded even harder in your chest. It was like a silent invitation, a threshold to cross into a new unknown. Taking a shaky breath, you accepted the invitation, your lips parting as well.

For a fraction of a second, you felt his hands tremble against your face, as if even Gojo Satoru, the man seemingly unfazed by the world, had his moments of vulnerability. Then, almost as quickly, his hands steadied, fingers gripping your face a little tighter, pulling you closer to him as if trying to merge your very beings.

His tongue met yours, a gentle exploration that sent electric tingles down your spine, spreading warmth through your body. It was intoxicating, the way he moved—confident but not overbearing, as if each swipe and caress were a question, a test to learn more about you. And as you responded in kind, you realized you were doing the same—learning the textures and contours of his mouth, discovering a new side of him that no one else had seen.

Your head spun, not from disorientation but from an overwhelming rush of sensations—his taste, his scent, the sound of his soft exhale against your lips. You could feel the room around you, hear the cheers and whispers of those watching, but in that instant, they were nothing but background noise, faded and distant.

And then, just as gradually as he had deepened the kiss, Gojo began to pull away. His grip loosened, but his hands didn't leave your face; instead, his thumbs lightly brushed your cheeks as if committing the moment to memory.

The room came back into focus, the cheers and applause snapping you back to reality. But even as you both pulled away, his eyes locked onto yours, holding a spark; you shyly looked away, feeling your cheeks heat up.

The game continued, the bottle spinning and stopping on various people, sealing more fates for the night. The tension in the room gradually eased, the atmosphere returning to its typical party vibe. Eventually, the crowd dispersed, trickling downstairs to rejoin the larger festivities.

Hours later, exhausted but strangely elated, you found yourself slipping through the sliding doors to the back porch, eager for a quiet moment alone. With a drink in hand, you sank into one of the cushy patio chairs and took a deep breath, the crisp night air a welcome contrast to the stuffy atmosphere inside.

You'd almost forgotten how to feel alone until you heard the door slide open once more, a familiar presence stepping out into the night. Without a word, Gojo moved to sit beside you. He was so close that you could feel the heat emanating from him, a palpable energy that seemed to seep into your bones.

"Nice night," he started, his voice low, as if not to break the spell of the quiet evening.

"Yeah, it is," you responded softly, your gaze lingering on the horizon, where the dark sky met the treeline.

"Did you have fun?" Gojo asked, a lilt in his voice that you couldn't quite place.

You turned to look at him, meeting his eyes—those damn sunglasses were finally off—and nodded. "I did. Surprisingly."

He chuckled. "Well, surprises make life interesting, don't they?"

"You could say that," you replied, smirking. "Though some surprises are better than others."

"Oh? Do tell."

"Well, spinning the bottle landing on you? That's like Russian roulette, but with kisses."

At that, he scratched the back of his neck, a flush coloring his cheeks that you found both surprising and endearing. "Well, about that bottle landing on me... I may or may not have had a little something to do with that."

Your eyebrows shot up, curiosity piqued. "Oh really? Do tell."

In response, he extended his pointer finger, and a small wisp of cursed energy materialized above it, forming a delicate, glowing ball. You watched, amazed and slightly incredulous. "You cheated at Spin the Bottle with cursed energy? Really?"

He grinned, the wisp dissipating into thin air. "Let's just say, I find ways to make my own luck."

You laughed, shaking your head. "You're unbelievable."

"And yet," he said, nudging you lightly with his elbow, "you wouldn't have it any other way."

You considered this for a moment, then sighed. "You're probably right."

At that, Gojo seemed to freeze, his eyes widening in genuine surprise. His face flushed a brilliant red that you hadn't thought possible for him, and his eyes dipped down for a moment. But just as quickly as the vulnerable look appeared, he cleared his throat and put on his signature smirk.

"Wow, did I finally manage to catch you off guard?"

His eyes narrowed playfully, the twinkle in them far from dimmed. "Caught off guard? Me? Never," he said, trying to regain his composure.

You grinned, taking in the rare sight. "Oh, don't even try. I saw that. Gojo Satoru, flustered."

His eyes met yours, still twinkling despite his blush. "Well, you do have a knack for making things interesting, don't you?"

You chuckled, shrugging your shoulders. "Well, glad to know I can add that to my list of talents."

"And what a growing list it is," he mused, taking a step back but still locking eyes with you.

He stood up, stretching his arms before extending one toward you. "Shall we head back? People might start rumors if we're out here much longer."

With a teasing smile, you took his offered hand. "Oh, let them talk. But fine, let's head back."

With a final lingering glance at the peaceful night sky, you took his hand, and together, you went back inside, wondering what other surprises life—and Gojo Satoru—had in store for you.

ignore my shameless self-insert depicting my delusions of this happening to me 💀💀

Symptoms of POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome)

Hypoxia (dizzy within 10 minutes of standing up, may experience vision "grey outs" or black outs)

Standing too long may result in trembling (like what happens when your muscles are tired after a workout), cold sweat, feeling like you're about to vomit

Some people may faint

Arms above your head tires you quickly

You feel better if you squat down

You start sitting or laying down with your legs lifted (so they're higher than your heart) when you never did that before

Dry skin (if you had dry skin to start with now it's even dryer)

Intolerance to heat. Need to sit in the shower because standing is even harder than outside the shower

Slower healing

You get heartburn/acid reflux more often

Your feet/hands get cold even when it's warm out (secondary Raynauds)

Exhaustion/lack of energy. You're just tired all the time.

"Out of shape" you can't walk as far/do as much as you used to be able to

Frequent urination

Feeling worse after eating carbs (particularly refined carbs)

Exercise intolerance

Not an exhaustive list

If you read this list and found yourself relating to enough of those points to make you concerned, when was the last viral or bacterial illness you experienced? A lot of people who got covid will have developed POTS as a result. POTS can also be triggered by physical trauma, and AFAB folks are far more likely to develop it than AMAB folks.

If you have ADHD or are hypermobile you are more likely to develop POTS.

If you have hEDS you are more likely to develop it.

the majority of the symptoms we're aware of is a result of our blood vessels not properly constricting, which causes blood to pool in our lower extremities rather than return to our heart for redistribution. This causes the heart to pump harder in an attempt to get the blood returned.

My case is one of the more severe ones and my symptoms are constant rather than coming in flares, but to serve as an example just a 20 minute shopping trip to Walmart had my heartrate up to 200bpm. Luckily fainting is not one of the symptoms I experience.

This is also a disorder than can get more severe over time, so it's possible many people have had it since childhood but the symptoms were mild enough to not be noticeable.

POTS, despite having so many cardiac symptoms, is not actually a cardiac disorder, it's a neurological one that impairs the autonomic nervous system and is one of the listed conditions under rhe Disautonomia umbrella (welcome to the zebra club!).

It is not considered a lethal disorder, despite how frightening it can be to have your heartrate so high. The largest factor to worry about is if fainting is a symptom you experience, but other than the dangers associated with that POTS sufferers have a normal life expectancy. It's disabling for many people and inconvenient for those that aren't disables by it, but it's not damaging your heart.

If you think you might have POTS it can be helpful to have some data to bring with you when you talk to your doctor for the first time. A "poor man's tilt table test" is a great diagnostic tool that anyone can do with access to a heartrate monitor. If you already have a fitbit that can monitor your heartrate that will work just fine. It's not the most accurate but it will give a good enough general snapshot and should hopefully convince your doctor to take the next steps.

If you don't have a heartrate monitor yet one of the most accurate heartrate monitors available to the general public is the Polar H10 chest strap monitor (in fact the guy that did my official testing said it was the best one to get). It was about $100 CAD, so definitely not cheap, but it can be used with some VR games that track your heartrate if that's something you're into lol.

A blood pressure monitor is also something that can help eith diagnostics but they're unfortunately not the most useful as they weren't designed to be used when standing (which is when the blood pressure drops), and, well, I even managed to error out the hospital's blood pressure monitor because my BP dropped too low, so I wouldn't worry too much about getting one unless you want to have one hanging around a anyway. If you do decide to get one, Omron is an excellent brand and recommended by the guy who did my testing (there was one other one he recommended above that but I've forgotten the name of it).

If your adhd meds have stopped working as well as they used to

And you've experienced any of these symptoms I highly recommend you look into getting tested for POTS. I have a strong suspicion that the recent concerns about adulterated adhd medications is not actually a problem with the medication, but a result of POTS. One of the biggest reasons for a false negative on amphetamine drug tests is dilute urine, so with POTS causing frequent urination it's entirely possible to get a false negative even with a therapeutic dose of amphetamines in your system.

If you do take amphetamines your doctor may suggest your symptoms are caused by them, so if you do approach your doctor with data from a heartrate monitor I recommend taking a medication holiday first. A full detox is approximately 3 days, but even skipping a day will make a noticeable difference in the data.

If you think you may have POTS there are some things you can do right now to improve your quality of life.

Get more electrolytes. Gatorade, pickles, SALT

Compression stockings. The best ones are that go all the way up to your midsection—pantyhose style. Thigh high is pretty good too. Even just the sock style can help though so get what you're able to access. There are three main pressure levels, the second level will generally be what most people need, but if your symptoms are more severe you may need the highest level. Keep in mind these will be much harder to put on. Get yourself some of those gardening gloves with the rubber coating, they help a lot.

Pop a squat. This will immediately drop your heartrate back to resting rate and it will stay there as long as you're in this position (it doesn't work like this for normies lol)

Get yourself a shower chair and take cooler showers

If washing yourself is a major chore don't be afraid to use an electronic scrubber! I've heard there are some specifically for exfoliating but honestly I've just been using one meant for scrubbing my shower and put a soft pad on it. Works like gangbusters!

I'm running late so I'll leave it here, but my asks are always open if anyone has questions!

Take care of yourselves.

Physics Friday #18: Sounds of the CMB - Baryon Acoustic Oscillations

Introduction: What Are BAOs?

It's time for colours!

Let's break down the term Baryon Acoustic Oscillations (BAOs) ...

A Hadron is a particle made of several quarks, a Baryon is a Hadron that contains an odd number of quarks.

Baryonic matter makes up a majority of the stable, visible matter in the universe. Both protons and neutrons are types of Baryons, so most Baryonic matter is, shockingly, atoms.

Acoustic generally has two definitions, one musicological and one scientific. Scientifically, any 'acoustic' thing involves sound. Specifically here, we're using it to discuss the production and propagation of sound.

Oscillations is a term very related to sound, if you read my posts on the mechanics of sound, oscillations, waves, periodic motion, are all the same phenomena.

Here, an acoustic oscillation is just a looping/repeated physical motion in a medium, like plasma.

Thus, putting everything together, a BAO is the physical motion in a plasma of hydrogen/helium, caused by the propagation of sound waves.

How do they form?

After the era of nucleosynthesis, but before the era of recombination, the universe was full of an opaque plasma of hydrogen/helium.

Sound waves require something that can create both a compression and expansion of this plasma, causing a pressure wave. A force that can pull things together and push things apart.

Thankfully, gravity is a great mechanism to pull things together. All that is required is a few thousand years, and some already pre-existing variations in density to get going.

So this plasma, in more dense regions, begin to pull more matter into those regions, creating a self-reinforcing cycle.

But how do we create the effect of expansion?

This plasma, is, well, hot. Very hot. And because it's everywhere, there's a lot of radiation being constantly emitted and re-absorbed.

When you begin to concentrate a lot of plasma into one location (thanks to gravity), you also concentrate the release of radiation.

Moreover, the speed the plasma accrues when it starts falling into the dense regions will also give it more energy, causing even more radiation to be released.

The effect is that in these denser clouds of gas, more radiation is produced. This produces a radiation pressure, which attempts to force atoms out of the dense regions.

Because of the every-where-ness of this plasma, the radiation pressure is strong enough to completely counteract gravity in some cases.

This generates sound waves, created by the constant tug-of-war between radiation pressure and gravity. These sound waves propagate throughout the early universe.

In Comes Dark Matter

Dark matter is predicted to represent a majority of the matter in our universe, because it is dark, it does not experience radiation pressure.

But because it still has mass, it does experience gravity. This means that the dark matter will stay within the denser regions without rebounding at all.

The dark matter within these regions are what allow regular matter to constantly fall in and out. Without it, the radiation pressure would blow apart the region and it'd become devoid of matter.

Freezing Things in Place

Suddenly, the universe cools to a point where, near simultaneously, matter cools to the point that it can exist as a gas rather than plasma.

Unlike plasma, gas does not absorb all forms of electromagnetic radiation. This is because electrons are now bound to their respective atoms.

This means that radiation pressure no longer comes into effect, and any radiation emitted at the moment of this cooling is free to travel across the universe.

The newly freed radiation is what we see in the CMB - but there's something important about it. It records a single snapshot of the current state of the sound waves propagating in the universe.

Imagine you have a high-speed camera and take a photo of a guitar string being plucked. At that very instant you can see the wave frozen in place, and can use that to determine it's properties.

Image Credit: Reddit

The remaining oscillations in the matter freeze too, allowing for the formation of our modern galaxy clusters, galaxies, and even stars.

How we Look at the Sound

Using the image of the CMB, we can measure the ripples of the sound waves using a Fourier analysis of the temperature gradients.

The temperature is used because it correlates to regions of high or low density, of course, the hotter a location is in space, the more matter managed to get in there, thus releasing more stuff.

A Fourier analysis is a very common technique in sound measurements. It takes any arbitrary mathematical function, and converts it into a frequency spectrum.

A Fourier analysis. On the top, the original signal, on the bottom, the signal's frequency spectrum Image Credit: The Mathematics of Waves and Materials Blog

We can conduct a Fourier analysis in two dimensions as well, we just perform two applications of the Fourier transform, but in two directions.

A 2D Fourier analysis. On the left, the original image, on the right, the image's 2D frequency spectrum Image Credit: Python Coding Block

We can then take this 2D image and plot it on a graph of the distance from the centre.

Applying the analysis and the plotting function to an image of the CMB we get this graph here:

Note that 'Multipole moment' is, for the sake of simplicity, a frequency spectrum Image Credit: Report of the Dark Energy Task Force, 2006

The above image is referred to as the power spectrum of the BAOs.

Adding constraints to Dark Matter/Energy

Dark Matter and Matter Density

The BAOs at the moment of them freezing become an incredibly useful measurement for the propagation of Dark Matter and Dark Energy.

Of course, dark matter is built into the equation, as they form a necessary component of the gravity force pulling things in. We can use the relative strength and period of the oscillations to estimate the amount of dark matter and it's ratio to Baryonic Matter.

Curvature

We can also use our graph for a second purpose: measuring the curvature of our universe.

You see, given the fact that our galaxies and galaxy clusters eventually end up forming from those regions of dense gas, and given that we know how 'far away' the CMB is (thanks to redshift).

We should know the approximate size of these dense gas regions in the CMB, given a certain curvature.

This will appear on our power spectrum as the shift in our graph, the location of our peaks along the x-axis.

In a universe that is hyperbolic, we should expect the density blobs to be small, and in a spherical universe, blobs that are larger. What we end up seeing is approximately a flat curvature.

Dark Energy

Now, thirdly, we can estimate the density of dark energy in our universe.

We can get this easily by measuring both matter density and curvature, as the two are related to the dark matter density.

But, we can also estimate it directly from analysing the power spectrum directly.

Dark energy affects the expansion of spacetime via the Friedmann equation, controlling for matter density, we can use the equation to quantify the Hubble parameter.

The size of the Hubble parameter, relative to our current Hubble constant, can be measured from the fact that the BAOs provide a standard measure of distance.

By analysing the power spectrum, we can effectively work backwards to derive a measurement for the Hubble parameter, and thus the presence of dark energy in the early universe.

Conclusion

Surprisingly a shorter-ish post this time, good on me.

Anyways I'll probably take a break for next week, as it's Christmas. Outside of that, I don't really know what else to say.

Follow if you want more, gib feedback on my post, and comment/repost your thoughts!

See ya later!

Oh, I'm A Mess... (Affinity Series)

Alpha!Bucky x Sweet Little Omega!POC!Reader

Alpha!Bucky x Sweet Little Omega!POC!Reader x Alpha!Steve

Wordcount: 7243

Summary:

You and Bucky have officially bonded! So why does Steve still smell so damn good to you? After getting injured on a mission, Bucky connects the dots and is able to shed some light on the situation. What could this possibly mean for the three of you?

Warnings:

Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Shameless Smut, Gratuitous Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Domestic Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha Steve Rogers, Shower Sex, Naked Cuddling, Breeding, Protective Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Feels

Notes:

Hello, Hello, Hell-O, Once again I started out writing with one plan in mind and well my characters just said "NOPE. This is where we're going. Don't fight it." And thus this, a bit plot heavy, fic was born. Have no fear though, there still we be snapshots of just Bucky and his Omega, as well as some with just her and Steve. What can I say, the characters have officially taken over and I'm just here to transcribe it all to you. Happy reading! This snapshot was heavily inspired by GUESS IM IN LOVE by Clinton Kane. Give it a listen to set the mood if you'd like. Also the lyrics used are from Tears Dry On Their Own by Amy Whinehouse. I do not own any rights to this song and you should give it listen!

Bannner by @cafekitsune Divider by @firefly-graphics

The hearth is filled with a crackling fire, it’s soft amber glow filling the space with warmth as you lounge in your favorite pj's, wrapped up in a blanket cocoon. A pint of Ben & Jerry's in your lap and Supernatural playing on the flat-screen. Dean Winchester is truly the best distraction. Currently you're all alone in the house as The Avengers have been called away on a quick mission.

Having recently made your bond official, you decided to stay at Bucky and Steve’s for a while, so you can remain close to your mate. You had some paid time off you needed to use or lose at work anyway and this seemed the most appropriate way to utilize it. 

Your phone goes off, alerting you of an incoming text.

My Alpha 🐺: Hello my sweet little Omega. The mission’s over but it’s gonna be a bit before I get home. I have to go to the infirmary when we land. I got injured protecting a group of children. Just got struck with a stray bullet or two and a cut to the forehead. Nothing too serious that my Super Soldier serum can’t heal quick enough, but it’s protocol to get checked out after any injury in the field. See you soon babygirl. I love you 😘 Me: 😲 Oh my goodness Bucky! You better be okay! Get here as soon as you can so I can see for myself that you are still in one piece! I love you too ❤

This news turns your calm energy to one of anxiety. You begin to seek out items to make yourself a nest. A place you can find comfort and safety as you nervously wait for your Alpha to return home.

With your mating bond being still a little new, he can feel just how out of sorts you are and although he’s trying to send calming vibes down the bond you're still out of sorts. It’s increasing his need to protect you and is starting to put him on edge. He knows he can't get to you until he’s cleared by the doctor. 

Steve hasn’t left his side since they boarded the Quinjet. He didn’t sustain any injuries himself and is perfectly fine to leave. He’s only still here because he wants to make sure his best friend is alright. 

He turns to Steve sitting in the seat next to the exam table he is laying on. “Hey, would you mind heading home ahead of me and making sure my Omega isn't scared and alone while she’s stressed out over me. I can’t stand knowing she’s in that house by herself right now. I'm afraid my instincts will take over and I’ll bite someone's head off the longer I sit here feeling her anxiety through the bond and I can't get to her.”

The blonde agrees of course, wanting to make sure you're okay himself. “Yeah, no problem Buck. I’ll make sure to try and keep her calm as much as I can. You just get checked out and hurry home as soon as you're able to. I’ve got her til then, pal.”

“Thanks Stevie. Now go take care of my girl.”

Upon entering the house, Steve finds you sorting through the blankets in the living room. “Hey there, Doll. Buck sent me to check in on you. Said he could feel your anxiety through the bond. He’ll be here soon. He’s just waiting for the all clear from the Doc once she’s done with anyone with major injuries first.” 

You drop the blanket in your hand and rush to him, wrapping him up in a giant hug, happy to no longer be left alone with your treacherous thoughts. You just need to be held for a moment and he smells like Bucky since somehow his blood is on his undershirt. Seems he had taken off the top half of his uniform at some point. 

The urge to take his blood stained shirt is increasing the longer he holds you. You must have it for your nest. Taking a step back, you thrust your hands underneath the fabric, running them along his abs and up his chest until you can pull it off him. 

Steve stands there motionless, in shock from the unprompted groping you just gave him. He watches as you inhale a big whiff of their mixed scents through your nose, as you clutch the shirt to your chest and face. 

It starts to actually calm you. Which is interesting since you're newly mated and Steve is not your bonded Alpha. Maybe it's because Bucky’s always with Steve and they’ve known each other so long. Maybe it’s because you know what his dick tastes like on your tongue. Or it can be a whole other thing entirely. You’ll have to figure that out another time though, because right now all you care about is trying to stay calm until you lay eyes on your Alpha again.

Yes, Bucky reassured you it’s just surface wounds that’ll easily heal within the day but until you can visually check that he’s okay you're going to continue to feel unsettled. 

A now shirtless Steve, shakes himself out of his stupor and begins to try and relax, releasing calming pheromones into the air. You just want to go back to your nest and continue to perfect it until Bucky is back. So that’s just what you do. “Thanks for coming home to check on me Stevie. It means a lot. Really. I’m gonna head back into the room now though. Holler if you need me for anything.” 

From time to time, Steve ducks his head into the bedroom to check on you. He watches as you fidget with your nest, trying to get it just right. Seeing you like this is doing something to him he can't quite understand. It’s making him feel all warm and content, but also a bit melancholy. 

He’s really struck out in the love department throughout his life. No one seems to just fit for him. He’s very happy that his best friend has found his Omega though. You two really are perfect for each other. Even now, mated to Buck, your scent is still mouthwatering to him. Just your mere presence can soothe his overactive brain. He’s drawn to you like a moth to a flame and even though he’s not quite sure why that is, he truly enjoys the feeling. But that’s a secret he’ll have to keep to himself.

You lose yourself in constructing your nest until you hear voices filter in through the hall, right as Bucky’s thick scent hits you. “Where’s your shirt pal?”

You run out of the room, pausing once you reach the end of the hall and spot Bucky. Taking a visual account that he’s all in one piece. Other than a cut that is already healing on his forehead, he looks disheveled, but perfectly fine. 

“You're okay.” You whisper and run into his arms. Soaking the bond in relief and love. Burying your face in his neck, saturating yourself in his sandalwood and whiskey scent. You pull back to gaze into those soulful baby blues.

“Hi, babygirl.” He kisses your nose.

“Hi, Sarg.” You kiss the cut on his head. “I’m so glad you're back. But you look a complete mess.” He chuckles at you and squeezes your ass that’s cradled in his hands. “That so Omega?” 

You bite your lip and nod your head. “Mmhmm. Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

“As you wish, sweet girl. Night Stevie. Thanks again for checking in on her” You wave goodnight as your Alpha carries you off into the hall.

Steve watches your retreating forms with longing in his eyes and an ache in his chest until you're out of his sight. 

Someday I’ll have that. 

Bucky carries you through his room to the en suite, noticing the nest you made on his bed along the way and smiling to himself.

He places you on the counter as he reaches in and starts to warm up the shower.

You take your time undressing him and kissing every bump, bruise and healing laceration. “Keep that up Omega and we won't even make it into the shower. Now lift your arms up so I can help you out of these clothes.” 

You raise your arms and he steals a kiss after he removes your shirt. Tracing his fingers down your torso til he reaches your hips and taps them to let you know to lift them so he can remove your bottoms. He leaves a trail of kisses up your calves and thighs as he makes his way back up. With one more tortuous kiss he lifts you up and carries you into the large walk in shower, now filled with steam and sets you down underneath the waterfall spray.

You reach over and grab the shampoo off the built-in shelf on the wall. “You’re too tall for me to reach you all the way up there so I’m gonna need you to either bend down or kneel so I can get my hands on that scalp of yours.” 

He kneels before you.

With your breasts level with his face, he can't help but sneak a little kiss to your sternum as he wraps his arms around your hips. As you begin to massage and lather up his scalp, you feel the tension leave his body. The content purrs emanating from his chest send vibrations through your lower abdomen. You continue on this way for a few more minutes until it’s time for him to rinse. “Up and at em Alpha. Time to get all these suds out so I can clean the rest of you.”

With a dazed and tranquil look in his eyes, he pulls himself back up. Keeping eye contact with you until he tilts his head back and let’s the water wash away the white lather. As he’s rinsing his hair, you prep the loofah with his favorite soap. Once his head has returned to the upright position you begin to cleanse your Alpha.

You run the loofah along his strong torso and shoulders. Down his large biceps and forearms. Over his thick thighs and defined legs. Purposely ignoring the hardening length rising from his patch of curls. 

Kneeling before him you look up into the handsome face of your Alpha. “Turn around for me please, so I can continue on.” He gives you a little mischievous smirk and takes his time turning towards the wall, giving you his back side. 

You start at the bottom and make your way to the top. Soaping up his calves and the back of his thighs. Skimming over his taut buttocks. Taking your time to worship his strong back and lay kisses across his shoulder blades and scars before you lather them up. You slide the loofah down his arms, pulling yourself closer until your chest rests against his back.

You bring the suds to the rigid thickness standing proud between his legs. Taking your time to cover every inch and making sure you don't miss a single spot. 

You drop the loofah, to aide him in rinsing off his body. Your tiny hands wander over every dip and valley of skin you can reach until you wrap them around his girth and begin to stroke his length. He can't help but moan out at the feeling of you taking such good care of him.

He places his hands against the wall to maintain his balance as he gives in to the pleasure you're giving him.

You deepen the pressure but keep up the languid speed as you feel your Alpha’s breath begin to quicken, groaning out. “Fuck baby that feels so good.”

“Good. You deserve it Alpha. You’re a good man who does amazing things and will put his life on the line for others. Making you feel good is the least I can do.” You lay a kiss between his shoulder blades and increase your speed. 

His breath hitches in his throat and he lets out a deep growl, shaking your chest with its powerful tremor. Before you can even comprehend what is happening your back hits the shower wall and in one solid thrust, Bucky is deep inside you. 

You scream out from the stretch and utter uncontrolled ferality your Alpha just showed. 

“You wanna make me feel good Omega?” 

“Always.”

“Well nothing feels better than your tight little cunt wrapped around my cock as it takes a pounding.” 

Your eyes roll into the back of your head at his dirty words and deep strokes. 

“You have no idea how desperately I want to bury my knot in you right now, Omega." He skims his lips across the sensitive flesh of your exposed throat. "Unfortunately the shower is not the greatest place to be stuck together. What I can and will do though, is fuck you so deep and hard you cant help but turn into an incoherent mess.” 

All you can do is whimper, wrap your arms around his chest and hold on to his shoulders. 

You Alpha is nothing if not a man of his word. He starts fucking you so deep your seeing stars. Pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you, over and over again. You’ve lost track of how many times you’ve fallen over the edge. You have no idea how he’s lasted so long. Damn super serum.  

He couldn't be happier with himself, seeing that cock drunk look in your hooded eyes.

“Look at you, Omega. All pliant and fuzzy headed. Hind-brain taking over. Too bad were not in your nest, otherwise I would for sure be stuffing you full of my knot and fucking a baby into you.” His hips begin to speed up. “Fuck just thinking about you all round with my child growing inside you is making me wanna pop my knot right now and get a head start on our family. Would you like that, my sweet little Omega? Want your Alpha to breed you and keep you full until there’s no way you aren't pregnant with my child.” 

“F-f-fuck please Alpha. Please. Fill me up.” You mumble and slur out as your walls begin to clamp down on him as you reach the precipice of another climax.

“Fuck. You really do want that don't ya, Omega? Your little pussy is squeezing me so tight. Trying to milk me for everything I got.” His rhythm starts to falter. “That’s it baby. Fuck . Need you to come for me one more time and I'll fill you up. You can do it. Come on pretty girl. Come for me Omega. Come. Now.” 

That command was all it took for you to shatter and explode in tidal wave of pleasure. Taking Bucky along the ride with you. If it weren’t for your Alpha pinning your thighs to the wall and your arms wrapped around his shoulders, you surely would have collapsed to the floor. All you can do is cry out as he pulls back at the very last second and pops his knot against the outside of your entrance.

Your greedy pussy milks what length remains inside you for every last drop. Draining him dry as he bites down on your neck, reclaiming his mark into your supple flesh. Chest heaving up and down from the sure willpower it is taking him to not bury his knot deep inside you and making sure not a drop of his seed is wasted.

You take a moment to collect yourselves as the warm water continues to cascade down your skin. You’re placed back on your feet with a gentle kiss and satisfied purr. “Looks like we're both dirty again. You wash my back and I’ll wash yours. Deal?”

You lightly nod your head and laugh at your Alpha’s antics. “Deal. But no funny business. It’s been a long day and I just want to get clean, crawl into my nest and fall asleep wrapped up in your arms.”

“That I can do Omega.” He begins to clean you up as you do the same for him. Trading sweet kisses along the way. Once you’re both fresh and clean, you turn off the shower, dry off quickly and head off to bed.

It’s time for some skin to skin snuggles, just how you like them. No blanket could ever be as warm as your Alpha’s chest.

You’re starting to drift off when you feel Bucky move his arm as if he’s grabbing something. "Omega. What's Stevie’s shirt doing in here?"

You freeze for a moment before burying your head in his chest and rambling. “It smells like you even though it's mixed with his scent because your blood is on it and I don’t know why but I just had to have it in here. It just felt right, okay.”

He runs his flesh hand lightly up and down your back feeling you begin to slightly panic. “Omega, it's okay. I do have a question for you though.”

You swallow. “Yes, Alpha.”

He kisses the top of your head, sending reassurance through the bond. “Please answer me honestly if you can. I'm truly just curious. I know we're mated now, but has Steve’s scent changed for you since I placed my mark on this pretty little neck?”

You shift nervously. “Umm. No it hasn't. Every other Alpha’s has, but not his.”

He continues to rub your back. “Do you like the way he smells?”

You take a deep breath and answer honestly. No sense in lying to your Alpha. “Yes. I do. Even more so when it's mixed with yours. I can't explain why either. I'm so sorry Bucky. How can I be bonded to you and his scent still smells so good to me. I’m the worst Omega.” You can feel a panic attack coming on. 

He pulls you in closer to his chest, lifts your chin with his metal finger and makes you look him in the eye. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, babygirl. You are not the worst Omega. And quite frankly, I’m not even upset. Rather intrigued, actually. If you're up for it, I wanna test something out.”

You shakily nod your head. “O-okay. What do you have in mind?”

“I’m going to ask Steve to come in here. I’d like to have him join us in the nest, if you're okay with that of course, and see if he’ll sleep here tonight. I know he’s a bit shaken by today’s events too. Is that ok with you Omega?”

Your brows begin to furrow as you think of him sleeping all alone after such an exhausting and your sure, emotional day. “Oh poor Stevie. I don't want him to sleep alone. Of course he can come in here. Technically his scent is already in the nest. Do I need to get fully dressed though? Our skin to skin contact is kind of important to me right now.”

He can’t help but smile at how adorable you are. “That’s all up to you babygirl. I mean the man’s dick has been in your mouth and he’s watched me fuck you more than once. I’m not going through the effort of getting dressed for the little jerk. If he’s uncomfortable he can figure it out.”

You shake your head and laugh at his antics. “You really can be an asshole sometimes. I’ll keep being naked then and just stay under the blanket cuddled up against you for now.” You kiss his chest. “You can go ahead and call him in.”

Bucky calls out and Steve peeks his head through the door. He's a bit taken aback by the feeling of happiness, lust and underlying longing he has as he gazes upon you two cuddled up in your nest. 

“You rang?” He hits you with that mischievous little smile of his.

“I found where your shirt went punk. It’s right under her pillow. Apparently our scents combined does something to her. Go figure. Anyway, I know you’re probably feeling out of sorts after today's mission and we don't feel like you should be sleeping alone. Wanna hop on in the nest and help me keep this little one warm and cozy?”

His eyes widened and his brows scrunch up. “What!? You just recently mated and you want me in your nest? Shouldn't my scent bother you now?”

You start to fidget in Bucky’s arms and look at the blonde. “I can't explain it but it's never changed for me when it comes to you. And he wasn't lying. Your scents mixed together makes me feel calm and safe. I’d really like it if you slept here tonight Stevie. No pressure though if it’s too weird for you.”

He scoffs. “Weird for me. My dick has been lodged in your throat. This is pretty tame.” 

“See told ya” Bucky laughs out as you smack him along his ribs. 

Shaking his head at his best friend he responds to you. “I’m more than happy to join you. There’s only one problem. I sleep in the nude and I’m sure you won't appreciate that.”

A coy little smile lights up your face. “I prefer skin to skin. Your level of comfort is up to you.”

He turns to your mate. “You sure about this Buck?”

Rolling his eyes at his best friend he replies. “Stop being a scaredy cat and just get in already Stevie. You can be awkward about it in the morning, alright pal.”

Not wanting to risk Bucky's temper, he undresses and climbs in behind you as you curl up tighter against your Alpha's chest. He keeps his distance though, laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

Bucky can feel your distress thinking you’ve freaked Steve out. “You got something against cuddling up against my girl with me?”

“Huh?”

“You got in the nest, but are way the fuck over there. I’m not gonna bite your hand off.”

“Buck...”

“Fuck this.” He leans over you, grabs Steve’s hand and places it on your bare hip. 

You stiffen at the touch, until Steve scoots closer, his chest flush against your back, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“There. All better now. Get some sleep babygirl.” Bucky lets out a low purr along with Steve that begins to lull you right to sleep.

The next morning…

Bucky rouses first, as the sunlight reaches his eyes and sneaks out of bed to start some coffee. When he returns to the nest he finds you cuddled up against Steve with your head on his chest, a serene look across your face. He watches as Steve cracks his eyes open and just stares in awe at the sight of you curled up against him.

“You could wake up to that view more often ya know?”

Surprised by his words, Steve looks at his best friend. “What on earth are you talking about Buck? She’s yours. It’s your bite mark on her neck, not mine. This is the only time I’ll ever have this view. I’m just trying to savor it and imprint it in my brain, so I can revisit it when I’m all alone again.”

He softly strokes your cheek and hair.

Bucky can’t stand this pity party any longer. “You’re an idiot ya know that? She clearly has two mating glands and apparently two True Mates. How else would her scent not have changed for you when we mated like it did all the other Alpha’s on the team. And your scent hasn't changed for her either. She told us that just last night.”

Steve can feel himself starting to get agitated. “That’s ridiculous Buck. An omega with two Alpha’s is extremely rare. Don’t patronize me thinking I have a chance here. She’s yours, okay. I get that.”

“And I’m telling you that she might be yours too. What’s so wrong with that?” He inquires. 

“Yes please do tell me what is wrong with that, if that's the case?” You speak up.

Neither of them had noticed that you had awoken.

Steve looks down at you lying on his chest. “There’s nothing wrong with that IF that's the case. I just don't believe it is. I think my best friend and his omega are just feeling guilty that I’m all alone and keep catching them in the various stages of love. It’s ok guys. Really.”

You abruptly sit up.

“You think I pity you? That I'm just humoring you by letting you get close to me when I'm feeling vulnerable. That your scent doesn't provide me a sense of calm and safety just as much as my Alpha’s does. That I haven't been confused and trying to figure out why the fuck you still smell so damn good when I’m now mated to Bucky.” 

Your eyes begin to water. “You think I chose to have somehow fallen for my Alpha’s best friend too.” You slap your hands to your mouth with your outburst and turn to Bucky. 

“I’m sorry. This is just all too much. Excuse me.” You scramble out of the twisted bed sheets, running straight into the bathroom and locking the door, uncaring of your current state of nudity. 

Steve stares after you, mouth agape, as he processes your confession. Bucky just pinches the bridge of his nose. “Way to go, Stevie.”

The taunt shakes him out of his stupor. “How are you so calm right now? Your Omega just basically said she’s also in love with your Alpha best friend.”

Bucky just looks at him with a deadpan expression. “Keyword there pal…ALSO. She isn't any less mine or in love with me because her biology gifted her with two mates instead of one. We’re not typical Alpha’s, so it’s not that much of a stretch to think we wouldn't attract a typical Omega. Unless you're telling me you aren't drawn to her and want to be with her just as badly as I do.” He glares at him. ���Now that would most certainly raise my temper.”

Steve lets out a huff. “So you’re telling me, that if I admit to you that I’m drawn to her. That her scent literally calls to me. That I’ve replayed that night we all hooked up together over and over and wish I had gotten a chance to at least have kissed her. That I live for the moments when it’s just the three of us here in the house, locked in our own little bubble, and I hate that I have to go to bed alone while she’s wrapped up in your arms. You're telling me, that saying all of that, doesn't make you want to punch me in the face?”

Steel Gray eyes meet the Cerulean ones of his best friend. Making sure that he focuses on what he is about to say. 

“If I hadn't seen first hand how she reacts to you and cares for you, yeah, you admitting all that shit would make me crazy. But I know my Omega. I see the sadness in her eyes that she tries to hide from me when you go off to bed alone when she’s here. Or the pure joy in them when you compliment her cooking after we’ve shared a meal. Hell she takes care of you as much as she does me. I’ve never seen her do that with Sam. Not that the asshole deserves it any way. He openly flirts with her just to piss me off.”

He stops himself before he gets too far off track. “I’m not going to tell you what to do here Stevie. Especially not with her most likely crying in the bathroom right now. What I will tell you though, is that I’m not willing to let her go even if she does have two True Mates and the other happens to be my best friend. I love her. She’s worth it.”

You’ve heard their entire exchange so far through the door you're resting against. Your tears have dried up and breath returning to normal. A warmth has spread through your chest at Bucky’s declaration. Even though you want to stay in here and protect yourself from further rejection you need to let your Alpha know how much you love and appreciate him. 

You stand up and grab one of his shirts from the hamper and throw it on. You’re feeling exposed enough and need a barrier to further protect yourself. You open the door and catch his gaze as he turns to you. Without sparing a glance to Steve you walk up to him and wrap your arms around his neck.

“God, I love you.” You pull his mouth to yours and lay a soul-deep kiss on him. Resting your forehead against his as you pull apart. “You’re worth it too, ya know. And I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me Alpha. Whether or not that includes some excess baggage. I’ll have to get back to you on that front though.” You place a soft kiss to his chin and turn around in his arms, you need his strength at your back for the next part. 

You take a deep calming breath and stare into the ocean eyes of the golden Adonis sitting on the bed before you. “I’m sorry for my emotional outburst, Steven. It wasn't fair of me to do that. Your feelings and desires are your own and I respect them. No matter how much those words stung I shouldn’t have reacted that way. Again, I’m sorry.” You turn back around and look up at Bucky. “Smells like the coffee’s ready. I’m gonna go get a cup and start breakfast. Eggs and bacon okay or do you boys need something more after the day you had yesterday.”

He knows what you’re doing. Trying to take care of him and take your mind off of the rejection you feel without distressing either of them about it. Damn sweet little omega. Even when she’s clearly hurting inside because of him she’s still taking care of both of us.

“Eggs and bacon sounds great babygirl. Anything else you feel inclined to make is a bonus.” He kisses your forehead and you shuffle out of the room. Leaving the awkward situation before Steve can even really respond to your apology.

“She could barely look at me other than when she said she was sorry. Which was unnecessary to begin with.” Steve barely manages to get the words past his lips. 

“Yeah, well. She’s trying to protect herself from feeling rejected further. I can bet she doesn't want you to feel obligated to try and make this work because she was upset. She would never want that.” Bucky clarifies.

This shocks him. “What? Rejected? I didn't reject her. I would never reject her.”

As coff escapes the brunettes lips. “Stevie. You told us that you think we're just feeling guilty and sorry for you instead of the possibility that she has two mates. Sounds like a rejection to me, pal.”

“No, no, no. That’s not…I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that I wasn't lucky enough to have something like that be true. Of course I want her as mine. I’d be a fool not to.” He can feel himself start to panic. 

“Well you're a fool who put his foot in his mouth and made her upset. Figure out what it is you want before digging your hole deeper. I’m going to ask you point blank and I want an honest answer. Do you want to be with her?”

Without hesitation he responds. “Yes.”

“Do you think she could be your true mate?”

“Yes”

“Does the thought of her being mine first bother you?”

“Surprisingly, no. You deserve someone like her Buck. She really is perfect for you. I would never want to mess that up. That’s the main reason why I hid my feelings.”

“Okay. Would you want to make us a bonded pack instead of just a bonded pair?”

“Yes. I would. I’d feel honored to be in a pack with you. It feels right.”

“Alright. Then you need to tell her that. I’m not the one who needs reassurance. Make it right with her and we’ll go from there.” He turns and heads out of the room. 

Steve quickly grabs his boxers from the floor, slips them on and follows Bucky out to the kitchen where they find you cooking, hips swaying as you sing along to Amy Whinehouse playing from the Bluetooth speaker on the island. Cant beat cooking and good music to brighten your mood up.

“Even if I stopped wanting you A perspective pushes through I'll be some next man's other woman soon I cannot play myself again I should just be my own best friend Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men He walks away The sun goes down He takes the day, but I'm grown And in your way In this blue shade My tears dry on their own”

You can feel their eyes on you as you finish cutting up the fruit and placing it in a bowl. You spin around to check on the bacon cooking on the stove. “You gonna stand there all morning gawking at me or are ya gonna help out?” 

They scramble to get into the kitchen. Steve beating Bucky just barely. “What can we do?”

You’re still having a hard time looking at him right now but you can get through this. “Um. Why don’t you grab me the eggs from the fridge Steven so we can get them cooked up and Sarg you can set the table while I finish up the bacon. Good?”

Bucky saddles up behind you, wrapping his thick arms around your waist and pulling you close. He runs his nose up your neck and whispers in your ear. “I know you're feeling some type of way right now babygirl, but please just try and let him remove his head from his ass. He’s just scared. I have a feeling you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you hear him out. Plus I’ll be right over there if you need me.” He kisses your temple and heads off to set the table, swatting your ass on the way for good measure. Cheeky Alpha.

As you're flipping the strips in the skillet, Steve hesitantly moves up next to you, an egg carton clutched to his bare chest. “Need a hand with cooking the eggs so you can focus on the bacon?” he tentatively asks. 

You turn to look at America’s Golden Boy and find an awkward and somehow withdrawn man standing next to you. Is this my doing? He looks so sad. Oh Stevie.

You give him a small smile. “Sure. I’d love the help. Hey Sarg, how do you want your eggs?”

“Are we having toast?” He queries.

“Only if you're making it.” You quip back.

“Then I’ll take ‘em sunny side up, extra runny please. Steve can manage not to screw that up.”

“Ha ha. Very funny Buck. What about you, Doll? Any particular way you’d like yours cooked?” He’s got all of his focus on you as he patiently waits for your answer.

“Scrambled will be just fine for me, Steve. Thank you.” You can feel that warmth starting to spread through your chest again the longer he stands beside you, bathing you in his citrus and cedar scent. 

“You got it, Doll.” He gives you that devastating smile of his and you can feel the threads hanging on to your bruised ego starting to fray. Stupid handsome Alpha messing with my hormones.

You continue to cook in silence. The only sound coming from the speaker on the island. You exchange small subtle touches as you pass over one another for this or that as you finish making breakfast and place it on the table. The tension has slowly built and you have no idea when or if it will break. 

Bucky sits at the head of the table with you to his right.

Surprisingly, Steve chooses to take the seat next to you instead of across the table. After a couple of awkward silent bites Bucky pipes up. “This is perfect, Omega. You're always taking such good care of us.” 

You feel heat rise to your cheeks at his praise. “I can’t take all the credit this morning. Steve helped out.” 

“Well it wouldn't have felt right if you did it all yourself. I’ll always help you out whenever I can, Doll.” He’s gazing at you with such an earnest look in his eyes. 

He reaches for your hand. “Doll, there’s something I need to say before I lose my nerve.”

He has all your attention now. “Go ahead. I’m listening.” You give his hand a little squeeze just as Bucky slides his hand onto your thigh and gives a squeeze as well. Just letting you know he’s right here with you if anything goes wrong. 

“I need you to know that I wasn’t rejecting you. I was feeling sorry for myself and on the defensive. I spoke out of fear and you got hurt because of it. It’s killing me inside that you could believe, even for a moment, that I wouldn't want you.” 

He intertwines his fingers with yours. 

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in an Omega and it just so happens that my best friend got to you first. I’ve been harboring feelings for you for a long time now and had just come to terms with the fact that I would most likely end up a lone Alpha forever when your scent didn't change after Buck claimed you. That night we all hooked up was the closest I thought I would ever get to having you. And I didn't even get to kiss you.” 

You cock your head to the side. “You wanted to kiss me that night?”

“Oh little omega, I always want to kiss you.” There’s that confidence you love so much rising back to the surface.

“I just wasn't allowed to. I knew my place and I would never do that to Buck. You're made for each other. So when he suggested that the one thing I crave for, could very much be a real possibility, I felt like a joke was being played on me. How could I be so lucky to not only have found a true mate but share her with my best friend. An omega with two mates was rare even in our day. I didn't want to get my hopes up for it to all come crashing down and I lose not only you but my best friend in the process.”

You push back a blonde lock that had fallen into his eyes back into place. “I get it. I do. That’s why I apologized for my outburst.”

He squeezes your hand in his and places the other against your cheek. “No, no, no. You didn't need to apologize. You had every right to feel that way. I’m just an idiot who was lost not only in his head but in the past as well. I might be this big strong Alpha now, but some of those old insecurities of the smaller me make an appearance from time to time. That was one of those times.”

He runs his thumb along the apple of your cheek. “What I’m trying to say, is that I’ve fallen for you too. It’s more than just being drawn to your scent. No matter how mouthwatering it is. You're sweet and caring. You never exclude me when you’re around and you treat me like a real person not some Superhero to be adored. You keep me grounded and I have never seen Bucky more like himself than when he started seeing you. If you're willing to try and Buck is truly okay with it, I would like to see where this goes. Ultimately I would like us to become a pack. I would want you to be mine as much as you are his. What do you say, Doll?”

You stare into those deep pools of cerulean, full of nothing but adoration and a hint of fear. Placing your hand against the nape of his neck, you pull him forward into a kiss. It starts off slow and sweet, quickly morphing into an inferno of need and passion. You pour everything into this kiss, uncaring that your Alpha is watching, until you pull apart, desperately in need of air. 

His eyes are lust blown and he’s sporting a dopey lovesick grin. “I take it, that’s a yes then.”

Bucky busts out laughing. He can’t help himself. “Oh, man. You really are still that skinny little awkward punk. All dopey eyed after one kiss from a Dame ya like.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Oh shove it, asshole. I remember you wandering around the house all love drunk when she kissed you the first time. You have no room to talk.” 

You turn to Buck with a slackened jaw. “You got all twitterpated after I finally let you kiss me goodnight? Awww, Alpha.”

Not embarrassed by it in the slightest he leans in towards you. “Damn right I did. That kiss was fucking magical. I’d never felt anything like it before.”

You place a sweet kiss on his lips and then turn to Steve and do the same. “I’m sure this back and forth ribbing between the two of you will never truly die down. So who’s up for movies and snuggles? I might even be willing to be talked into a little heavy petting.” 

You get up from the table, starting to clear the dishes, when Bucky stops you. “Omega let us do that. You are to relax the rest of the day.”

You place the plates back on the table. “Does that mean my movie marathon is a go?”

Steve wraps his arms around your hips and pulls you close, laying his head on your stomach as he gazes up at you. “Yes, little omega. We can have a lazy day full of movies, snuggles and most certainly some heavy petting. Buck and I just have to check in for a quick debrief with Tony, but we can do that over video in my office after we clean up breakfast. Why don't you go make the living room all cozy for the three of us and pick out the movies you want to watch and as soon as we’re done with business we’ll be all yours.”

You’re smiling from ear to ear, thankful this morning has turned around and excited to explore this new dynamic together. Who would have thought you’d have not one, but two True Mates. Best friends at that. You’re sure this ride is gonna be full of twists and turns but you can't wait to get started. 

“Just don’t keep me waiting too long.” You kiss his forehead as he releases you and then place one on Bucky’s cheek as he passes by, taking the dishes to the sink. 

You begin to walk into the living room, grabbing the hem of Bucky’s shirt you're still wearing. “Oh and boys. Clothing is optional.” 

You pull the shirt over your head and continue on your way, sauntering over to the couch, two sets of blue eyes locked on your bare bottom. You hear them both mutter simultaneously “Fuck” before a flurry of movement is heard. 

Knotheads.

( Hey everyone! Since Sons of Theseus is basically a fic, I wanted to make an author's notes sort of post explaining some of the things going on in it.

Directly under the cut will be a TL;DR so you can get up to speed with my muses' current main verses without reading SoT, though I'd appreciate if you did. Spoiler alert!

Anyway, let's get to it! )

Too Long; Didn't Read:

Bryan: After being trapped in a false reality for over a year, Fury had difficulty grasping if he was actually free of his perfect dream or still stuck. He found Dragunov during the eighth King of Iron Fist Tournament. Due to their shared history, Fury made him his basis of what was real or not. Sergei died during Azazel's rebirth, causing Bryan to rampage across continental Europe, Dragunov's corpse in tow, to the HQ of the Gold Raptors. He witnessed Sergei's resurrection and went with him to the Battle of Yakushima (after all, who was gonna stop him?). He panicked when he perceived Sergei on the brink of death again and intervened in Dragunov's fight with Victor. Sergei was only enacting a ruse, however, and attacked Bryan instead. Their tussle was interrupted by Devil Kazuya. When the dust settled, Bryan realized Dragunov is just as strong as he ever was, and thus knows now for certain that he is in the real world, and it is his for the taking.

Sergei: An attempt to give a graduation gift to his younger sister was hideously misinterpreted, causing him to lose his temper and have a painful coughing fit. He was dispatched to the King of Iron Fist Tournament to represent Russia and defeated Shaheen. Part of the Coliseum collapsed during Azazel's appearance. He was crushed under rubble and killed. At the instant of his death, the Gold Raptors captured a snapshot of his being down to the quantum level and reconstructed him, minus the cancer in his lungs and throat he did not know he had. The Major, leader of the Raptors, sent him to the Battle of Yakushima, where he fought with Victor. He feigned an injury to catch the Raven off-guard, but Bryan "rescued" him before he could follow through. Outraged at the lost opportunity, Dragunov attacked Bryan instead, stabbing him in the thigh. Devil Kazuya brought the entire battle to a fiery halt. Initially despairing over what he thought was a complete failure of his mission, Sergei realized that he had almost killed Fury without much effort. If he could do that fresh from the grave, then his future potential is limitless.

𓆚 | 𓅓

Stuff I Want to Mention:

The thread's title, Sons of Theseus, refers to the Ship of Theseus thought experiment: "is something still the same thing if it has all of its original parts replaced?" Both Bryan and Dragunov go through some hefty changes through the story. Fury gets his entire perception of reality rocked, deeply disturbing him for possibly the first time in his life. Sergei gets it worse -- he is literally rebuilt from the ground up.

There are two songs embedded in SoT: Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo, and Silent Running by Gorillaz. Both have lyrics relevant to the story.

Dead Man's Party:

I was hit by something last night in my sleep It's a dead man's party, who could ask for more? Everybody's comin', leave your body at the door Leave your body and soul at the door

Though I mostly used this song to go with the jovial atmosphere of Bryan's dream of Hollywood stardom, in his first post, he is hit by something in his sleep: Dragunov talking. The sheer shock of this is enough to snap him out of it!

Silent Running:

Stop, 'cause you're killing me You brought me back and made me feel free Rowdy waves and your energy You pulled me fragile from the wreckage Well, I got so lost here Machine assisted, I disappear To a dream, you don't wanna hear How I got caught up in nowhere again

This song was a HUGE inspiration for SoT as a whole. These lyrics practically happen. Why?

Because Sons of Theseus is fix-it fic. imo Bryan and Dragunov have a lot of potential. Yeah, I know, I get it, T8 isn't about them. But blizzardrush and unbrydledfury are! With any luck, I gave them a compelling narrative to go along with the canon story.

Speaking of which, the entire thing, like most of my fics, was the result of brainworms. I didn't get T8 right out of the gate, and though I tried to avoid spoilers, I heard that the losers of the KoIF tournament would be killed. Since Bryan and Dragunov are villains, I assumed they would likely be goners. How was I supposed to write them if they were canonically dead? This wasn't the case, of course, but I liked the idea of actually killing one of my muses. Sergei drew the short straw because I was having trouble deciding how his character was developing. Now he has a blank slate! What a lucky guy!

I didn't want his resurrection to be an ass-pull handwaved by oh the Foundation Raptors are ~*~spooOOooky~*~ military mad science, but then I remembered there is precedent for them doing shit like this :^)

Bryan being stuck in a lotus-eater machine was the result of much brainstorming about how to keep a nearly-invincible cyborg subdued for over a year. Turns out it's easy -- you just target the ego. Fun fact: the duration his black box reports was the length of time between that post and the last post I made on unbrydled :')

Finally, there's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it reference Bryan makes to a "thing in Vegas". He's talking about the three-way thread between him, Dragunov, and icecoldwilliams' Nina, in which they're chasing down a lost nuclear bomb before someone sets it off. I love continuity in my RP blogs; I feel like it gives them more weight.

So there you go! That wraps up SoT. Bryan and Dragunov are officially updated and back to regular programming.

Thank you for reading! <3 )

You know, I’ve been in this tumblr community for years, way before they banned everything in 2018, and i know your and your guy’s story (i’ve read your answered questions throughout your tenure at this platform) and i’m similar to him in a way that includes getting into this diaper stuff. What i wanted to tell you is that don’t get upset of frustrated with people around here, it does no good to your mental health. i’m just sharing what i learned by being in this kink and fetish industry for years. i really appreciate you considering to share your experience with diapers with your fans, and as a fan, i hope you will never get angry and waste energy because of these damaged and troubled people who know no boundaries. good luck to everything you set your mind to.

We appreciate the kind words of encouragement. To be honest, it's just a handful of creeps who send questions that are solely designed for us to craft responses so they can get their rocks off. There is *plenty* of material online for you to jerk off to. Flooding our inbox with endless ridiculous scenarios that would *never* happen in real life isn't just an annoyance, it's an insult to our intelligence.

We're two adults with vanilla lives outside this fetish. We don't live it 24/7. We've never claimed to. We show snapshots of us indulging our fetish when we get the chance to. There is a reason people who share their content eventually lose the will to do so and it's because of the entitled ones out there who think we're here to appease every fantasy they throw at us. Sorry I don't want to give you every detail of whether or not I made Daddy cum in his diaper or not. Sorry if I don't want to explain why I'm not into messing. Sorry I post more dry diaper pics than wet ones.

Once again, you don't have to follow us. Feel free to click the unfollow button if you're unsatisfied with the free content we provide you. I'm sure you can find it elsewhere.

Long story short...some people in this community need a serious reality check.

Hi there Runic!

I was wondering your opinion on using Scrivner to draft fics vs using Word? Like pros and cons? (Some of the articles online are so confusing! >//<‘)

Thanks so much for the ask, anon! And also thanks for your patience; I wanted to give this some thought, hence the wait.

I primarily use Scrivener and have been using it for a little over a decade. I also use Word during the final phase of edits. I'll list some of my favorite features of each one, followed by the cons.

Scrivener

Organizing a story in Scrivener is where it shines the most. For a longer story, you can break things down by chapter and easily move them around as needed. For me, I use a single file for all my fics and breakdown folders by fandom, then by ships. The use of status markers and labels and custom meta-data, while initially daunting, are also super great to flag what state your draft is in along with any other indicators you wish to use. For me, I like marking if fics are for an exchange or a gift for a friend. I've even customized the meta-data so I can plug in potential tags and ratings as I go!

Snapshots is a neat function that makes a copy of your current file. I use it with each new phase of editing, in case I need to refer to an older version. It's super easy to switch back and forth between snapshots, plus there's a preview to show what has been removed or added from the last version!

There are a ton of compiling options for when you wish to export your story as a Word doc or a PDF or even for epublishing. I don't use this too often, but I have lots of friends who do and it makes proper formatting really simple.

There is a focus mode that removes all the UI stuff and just shows you the words. If this didn't exist, I wouldn't be able to write anything lolsob.

You can set target goals for each document or even the entire file. And if you have multiple documents in a single folder with word count targets applied, Scrivener will add them all up and give you a total target estimate. Really handy for planning out how long your story will be!

THERE IS A DARK MODE THEME.

Word

The grammar/spelling checker is a lot more robust in comparison to Scrivener.

Sharing your Word document and sharing notes/comments with beta readers is a LOT easier in Word. It's similar to how Google Docs works with leaving comments, replying to each other, and marking them as resolved.

Copy-pasting from Word into AO3's rich text preserves the formatting, whereas I've had a lot of wonky issues going from Scrivener to AO3.

Text-to-speech, while kinda weird, is a godsend when I want to read out loud a fic before posting, but don't have the energy to do so.

If you have Word, you likely have a Microsoft subscription, which means you have access to OneDrive, which makes for VERY easy backups. Plus you can get Word on your phone and work off that and your computer seamlessly at no extra cost.

THERE IS ALSO A DARK MODE.

Hokay, now for cons.

Scrivener

Scrivener is not free. It is a one-time fee of $60~. That said, if you participate in NaNo and win, you can get a discount code (I believe it's 50% off?)

It was originally made for Macs, but then a Windows version was developed. The team behind Scrivener is very small and it took… forever to get the Windows version up to speed with the Mac version. There are still some differences between the two, but thankfully both versions are on the same page. Jumping off of this, there is an iOS version, but no Android version.

If you wish to back up your Scrivener stuff, you can only really do that via a Dropbox account. Also, I believe it's not possible to open the same file on different computer types. So if you have two computers (one Mac and one Windows) and want to open the same file on both, it's not really going to work. In my experience, I've also run into issues getting things to sync and open when using two Windows computers. So if you're planning to bounce around different computers/laptops/etc., definitely keep this in mind.

On top of that, for every device you want Scrivener on? You need to pay for that.

Scrivener has got one hell of a learning curve, too. I've been using it for so long and am STILL discovering new ways to use it. It can be intimidating, even after you go through all the tutorials.

Word

This also costs money, but sadly is not a one-time fee AND you need to invest in a bundle plan instead of just getting Word. Home subscriptions range from $70 to $100 a year, depending if you're getting it just for yourself or for your family/friends to use too. For me, I use it with my boyfriend and we use all the programs a bunch, so it works out well for us. This might work for you too if you're interested in having access to things like Excel and OneNote and cloud storage. But if you just want Word, that's not really feasible.

I haven't experienced this because I've stopped writing novel-length stories in Word, but I've heard from friends that the program slows down after 30k words or so, which is unfortunate and frustrating.

Furthermore, you can't really transition from file to file in Word as you can in Scrivener. You'd need to manage the folders on your computer outside of the program.

Word isn't really designed for book formatting. You CAN do it, but it takes some extra work on your end to format things accordingly, whereas Scrivener has a bunch of built-in features to help with that.

Microsoft is A LOT bigger than the Scrivener team, thus there are frequent updates. And because of that, you need to perform more updates to the program and might even need to reacquaint yourself with features and UI changes.

I hope this helps! Regardless of which program you wish to use, I hope it goes smoothly and you have a blast writing your stories on it!

Career & Money 🧾 For 2023 - Gemini

Overall energy: 6 Swords

Current Job: 6 Cups & The Emperor

Challenges: Ace of Wands

Potential: 7 Cups

Outcome: Knight of Wands

Advice: 9 Cups

Oracles:

79 - Success

Enjoying your life and the unfolding of your creative abilities as much as possible is real success.

9 - Curiosity

Be spontaneous, wonder, nice forward, look ahead, and stretch above your present circumstances.

Similarly to Libra, your reading has a warning attached to it. With Saturn being in Pisces for the next couple of years, illusory circumstances are part of the deal, and this square is definitely affecting you, out of all the readings I’ve done. Work ties in with love for you, and it only seems to be that way because of impulsive decision making, so that’s the warning. There is NOT a lot of major arcana energy here, showing there is wiggle room, and this reading is just a snapshot of the energy right now, if things do not change via your free will & decisions. If nothing changes, the outcome for the year is rushing into something, probably love, that costs you your job, or a lot of money you don’t have, and is a major Tower moment for you. Keep that in mind when some attractive person crosses your path…don’t just jump right into a volcano for them.

Where you are currently, is reminiscing. Either this is an old job, a family member, a former boss, an old lover, or this is you living “the good old days” where you maybe had more power, a better a job, better schedule or coworkers. Whatever this is for you. You don’t know if this is right for you anymore, those around you don’t seem to be on your page. You may have just grown out of this stage and are ready for new things. There is an energy here of you allowing your relationship to dictate your career choices, which is not good for you. The challenge is this PASSION you have, and a restlessness about you, it’s like you want to up and move to Mexico (assuming you don’t live there). Botswana. Alaska. New Zealand. Wherever. 222 is strong in your reading, 7 Cups is the potential, there are a lot of options and decisions to be made. You could be dating around or messaging several different people, and these relationships are determining if you uproot yourself & your entire life in order to have 10 Cups. You think.

The main energy for your year is moving away, 6 Swords. Away from drama, stress, difficult times, endings, 5 Swords and any outright conflicts that have been in your life. It’s possible it is literal, moving somewhere else entirely, or traveling. You have this passion inside of you that wants action NOW, you’re willing to give up everything and completely transform your life in order to do this. For a Queen of Cups possibly, or because you’re in love. BUT. There is more than just this person, several in fact. You may have a buffet of different lovers and options here for all I can see, and I’m getting that this action may not be the right one. Your potential is 7 Cups, Knight of Cups, and Wheel of Fortune. I don’t see any one particular person being pointed out like THIS ONE your soulmate, no. Karmics…maybe. Whatever you choose will definitely have some level of karmic repercussions, with Wheel of Fortune. That’s free will in general. Choices have consequences, good or bad. Something needs time, or maybe it’s if you give something time, some of these options will fall off on their own, making your path clearer.

The advice is 9 Cups. Indulge yourself in options, don’t just tie yourself down to any one thing, romantically, and don’t jet set across the Sahara Desert for some spouse on the internet type of energy either. Something is unknown or unclear. You’re not confident enough in one decision to actually make it, in a sound state of mind vs an impulsive one, so just enjoy what’s available to you and make it clear to anyone involved. You’re not committing to the things. Let them fall off if they do. Release what’s not for you, and keep yourself & your stability the main priority in your mind, don’t be bamboozled. The High Priestess literally says use your intuition, meaning it’s trying to talk to you, you’re getting signs and messages, pay attention. Yours is the main reading I’m getting that this is not going to stay this way…once you get any sort of clarity, inspiration, sexy text message, whatever it is, you’re likely to shift everything in another direction. Stay stable where your work is concerned, everything else around you feels like dust in the wind, moving and shifting, but you don’t have to. Once you are SURE and things have been given TIME (for you to potentially change your mind, or them either/or), you’ve met this person and studied desert climates and got into at least 3 disagreements and you’re STILL sure, by all means. Move to the Sahara ☀️ You do have success, just be careful of Knight of Wands…he’s impulsive and wants it NOW, but he’ll also change his mind or burn out quickly, don’t do that. Or change your whole life for that, because that energy comes with major financial disasters/consequences. You’re being tested.

Please pick one or any of these to answer for the ask game!

✨ What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

💫 What is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

🎀 Give yourself a compliment about your own writing.

💞 What's the most important part of a story for you? The plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language.

✨ ooohh that’s a good one. I think I’d probably have to go with porcelain chips from the pottery shards verse.

I loved writing that one. I’ve been sort of addicted to non-linear narratives since I first read vonnegut, and porcelain chips really let me play with a non-linear telling of Peter’s backstory and I loved how it turned out, formatting wise.

I also just loved the energy it had, from the summary to the work itself. like, there were all these little snapshots of peters life jumbled up together, all out of order and some that just seemed out of place entirely? and once you took into consideration the summary, it became peter processing how he became spider-man just as much as it was the reader putting it together. i loved that one

So I just finished my fourth read-through of Lingua Franca (and FINALLY twigged onto the fact that I could search you up on tumblr, oops), and saw one of your recent posts tagging The Old Guard. I want to know more, as long as you have the time and motivation for it, of course! I'm so invested in that universe, and so far it's only one fic. Please, if you have any tibits to share, this reader is STARVING for more info on this AU? XD

Thank you so much with your patience in my replying to this ask, @atsuyuri-sama I have been thinking about this ask since you sent it and getting super hyped when i finally had a week where i had enough brain energy to give it the answer you deserve.

First off: !!!! FOUR read-throughs??!? It's mind boggling to think someone enjoyed Lingua Franca so much to reread it three times. You honor me.

On to the question: Since you mentioned really loving the AU and the fact that it's only one fic right now, I think it'd be fun to share what I'm envisioning for the entire series, structure wise.

Lingua Franca (the series) will have 4 parts, one of which is obviously Lingua Franca (the fic) The rest are as follows:

Prima Lingua - A prequel/companion story to Lingua Franca from the perspective of Nicolo. The second chapter of which will have one of my biggest writing experiments to date and I'm very very excited to see how it lands with people.

Nolexi - What happens after Lingua Franca? A very awkward dinner, first off. The title/theme of the work comes from Rudy Francisco's I'll Fly Away which. I highly recommend, especially to any poetry lovers out there OR people who love linguistics.

Code Switch - This is my anthology of pieces set into the Lingua Franca universe that don't fit in well with the main fics but I still feel are important supplementary snapshots into the characters and the events. Here are some of my favorite snapshots I'm going to be exploring:

Andrew is just shy of nine years the first time he accompanies his father on a sea voyage. As with most boys his age, he is brave and curious in equal measure, and can't help but flounce his father's strict orders to stay away from the strange metal box speaking in zeneize. Three decades later, Andrew is cornered in an alleyway on his walk home from the docks. These experiences are related.

Quynh has learned after several lifetimes that while she'll do it for her heart, Andromache has no love and no patience for the task of braiding hair. Luckily, Quynh has an alternative for when she wants to do something complicated with her hair. If it happens to interrupt his reading, that's his problem. (She knows Booker secretly loves helping her with her hair anyway.)

The first thing Copley does, once he's triple checked he's lost all traces of Merrick surveillance, is break into Booker's apartment.

I've got parts and pieces of all three of these fics written but I'm not sure when exactly I'll actually get them published or if I'll wait until i have them all completely written before posting but I hope whenever the time is right and I get the rest of the story shared with you all, it brings you the same satisfaction as Lingua Franca did :)

(Also I adore talking about this series so if you have any additional questions/thoughts and want to talk about the series, my DMs and ask box are always open)

Lucie Liu’s TaipeiLove*: Taiwan’s unique journey towards same-sex marriage and equality

New Post has been published on https://china-underground.com/2018/12/30/lucie-lius-taipeilove-taiwans-unique-journey-towards-same-sex-marriage-and-equality/

Lucie Liu’s TaipeiLove*: Taiwan’s unique journey towards same-sex marriage and equality

TAIPEILOVE* is a documentary from Berlin filmmaker Lucie Liu.

Taiwan is the first country in Asia that in May 2017 ruled that same-sex couples should have the right to marry, even if the proposal was defeated in a recent referendum.

Taiwan’s fight for marriage equality is the result of a long journey. TaipeiLove* is a documentary focus on Taipei’s perception of homosexuality in Taiwanese society.

The movie provides a deeper understanding of breaking down stereotypes and starts to think about what is love: a feeling that is inclusive and indiscriminate.

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Indiegogo

Interview by Dominique Musorrafiti

This is a selected interview from Planet China Vol. 05 issue

China-underground: Can you tell us something about you?

Lucie Liu: I’m Lucie and I am 25 years old. I studied political science but I was always very interested in theater.

I used to act in theater and I started writing my own pieces and move towards the direction, that’s basically me!

Then I decided to start this movie because this documentary is kind of perfect combination of visual art and political science and that’s what I always wanted to do.

Where did the idea for your documentary “Taipeilove*” come from?

I used to live in Taipei in 2016.

I was working at the Goethe Institute.

I went to the gay pride parade (it was really packed ) and I saw so many people.

I met two Korean guys and a Japanese guy and I spoke to them and they told me that the gay pride parade in Taiwan, they attend every year, is the only time in the year where they can be truly themselves.

I thought it was kinda odd but then I was digging a bit deeper and I started reading on it and I realized that Taiwan is really having a super important role in this by pushing same-sex marriage.

I started reading about it and I realize there’s almost no coverage and since I always wanted to do something, as I said, combines politics at the arts I wrote a script for a potential movie. It’s really funny because I never had any film experience.

I mean I did some short commission works but never anything like that big, I kind of ended up pursuing a German political foundation to give me funding and I ended up flying to Taipei in October last year.

How would you describe your documentary?

I would say that TaipeiLove* is basically a snapshot of society that is currently going through a lot of change.

How long did it take to make the whole project?

Basically I’m still currently editing. Well, the idea process and the research process, I think, three or four months but not that intense and then the whole filming process was eight months.

Right now the editing process has been going on. From when we started it’s been like maybe a month.

It will be finished in October or November. There is a trailer for our crowdfunding campaign.

When you started filming, did you plan ahead, or there were events that influenced the development of the documentary?

The first event that really changed something was when I went to Taiwan and my German cameraman was supposed to come to Taiwan.

But then, only a few days before, he was supposed to come, he told me that he doesn’t want to come because he was kinda scared of Asia. I was there all by myself and I have felt incredibly lost, but I think this started my thrive because I realized “I’m here now and I can, I did it or I don’t”.

So I put all my energy into doing it. Then I basically asked all my friends  “Please connect me with anyone who’s gay or lesbian” So I conducted around 40 interviews with friends of friends in the park in cafes.

They just told me what is happening in their lives and I kept asking them very similar questions and so I could point out the difficulties in being gay or lesbian in Taiwan. Then the filming process itself started.

I carefully selected three protagonists. The interviews I did with those 40 people they really helped me and put a finger on who’s really important in the scene. So I was able to find five experts and politicians give me an inside interview.

It’s really interesting because everybody was super open about it because I think there hasn’t been any coverage or a lot of coverage. So everybody was welcoming me with open arms.

That was probably like the highlight of everything. I just walked into the politician’s offices and they gave me an interview. I think in Germany that wouldn’t have. They really help me understand that this is a super important issue.

What were the biggest challenges of “TaipeiLove*”?

I think personally, for me as a person, it was kind of difficult because, in the beginning, I was kind of doubting, because I mean, it was my first movie, my first production and of course you have a lot of self-doubts and you kind of just want to be taken seriously. There’s still so much to learn, but I was really lucky.

I had a really great cameraman. A nice guy. He supported me so much. He knew I didn’t have experience.

He helped me so much and supported me a lot. I’m really grateful that I had him. He helped me like it was his personal challenge. I would say the bigger challenge, I think, it was really incredibly difficult and sad to see how people are struggling.

How difficult still is, despite that same-sex marriage will be legalized, how difficult it is to be gay or lesbian in public or especially in terms of being with your family or talking with your family about it.

One of the hardest challenges was to see how people are living in an open society but society is still too closed to accept. So that was very challenging to work that.

Can you share with us a story from the backstage of your documentary?

Well, I think there’s one I remember pretty closely. One of my protagonists is called Sarah and we became pretty close friends which were really nice.

When we had an interview day with her, I interviewed also her aunt. Her aunt was sending a picture of the interview situation to the group chain of the family.

Then Sarah’s mom calls and it was really moving, cuz her mom didn’t really want Sarah to give this interview or do have anything to do with the documentary.

We got the chance to listen to her mom telling Sarah all the reasons and everything that Sarah has always had trouble with. Her mom was on speaker so we could all hear it and it was really silent in the room all of a sudden.

Sarah’s mom just talked about “I wish you had a husband, I wish you had children. It makes me very sad that you chose that life. I just want you to be happy and I don’t want you to be lonely.”

This phone call kind of summarizing all the struggle and all the difficulties. So many people are going through and that was really moving and after this phone call, after she hung up it was just like everybody and the team was really tense and everything you could feel was the energy in the room.

It was there I think was like the golden moment of the documentary.

That was just super intense!

I think we hit a really good time, cuz the people of my team were just really cool people, genuinely nice and that really helped me.

I think it’s like this very tense moment on one hand, and under the other one, a very cool team then it works together.

Another story is that: I asked my team for motivation, like “What is the reason .. Why you’re doing this documentary with me?” My cameraman, who I’m really close to, told me he has a daughter. He told me when he was in high school he was a bully. He used to bully gay kids. I was really shocked.

He used to bully, but now he wants to help to do this movie because he realized he doesn’t want his daughter to grow up in a world that kind of makes it difficult for her if she would be a lesbian. He just wants to show his daughter that change is possible and it’s so interesting because he was the one who was putting so much trouble on gay kids in his high school and then he kind of changed his direction.

The realization of the revelation and that was also really interesting. He wants her to grow up in a world where she doesn’t have to worry about her sexuality.

Legalizing same-sex marriage is a historic moment for Taiwan. Do you think it reflects an important part of the society or LGBT community still faces problems with “coming out”, tradition, families, religion …?

I wish it would have a really big impact of course, but I honestly think for now that legalizing same-sex marriage will definitely lead to a change in society into a note.

You will just see a lot more weddings or it becomes more normal, to see that but I’m not really sure.

I really hope it would bring that change, but from what I’ve heard and what I’ve seen that families are still a huge obstacle.

I talk to so many people and they were in their 30s sometimes even in their 40s and their family still doesn’t know.

So I hope it would bring that change, but I think it takes a lot more time and a lot more education to actually have this change that everybody is hoping for.

I heard there was a protest from Catholics …

It’s so weird when you think about the new society because like the part that is actually religious, in terms of Christian religion it’s so small.

It’s four, around five percent of society and when you think about the part of society that is gay or lesbian is equal.

Five to ten percent. If you think about it’s like two equally big groups but the problem is that the religious groups are so vocal because they get so much money. They have so much funding from America, Australia.

A lot of priests from America and Australia are in Taiwan so this religion is so vocal. They have so much money into that.

They make advertising on TV, so it’s really difficult for the other group to kind of hold against.

They have this weird propaganda against LGBT education or gender education and they think that they tell people that their child will turn instantly gay.

These people are so odd, it’s so weird. They are really strong there and so they also fuel these anti-gay protests, so it’s a really big divide like a small part of society but that’s like a really strong divide.

How do you expect the audience reaction will be to your documentary? Do you think they will understand the historical important step in human rights for the LGBT community in Taipei?

I think as for now, I was always doing the documentary target audience, which is actually Europe and I hope any Western country.

I’m also hoping for America, but I think that a lot of people don’t know a lot about Taiwan. When I told people I was going there, a lot of people told me to have fun in Thailand. I think they will learn and they will see that this really small country that has this huge change going on, which is historic for Asia and I hope that they will understand and realize and give Taiwan more credit for it.

I know politically, it may have its chaos and nobody recognizes Taiwan and China have constantly claiming Taiwan, but I think in terms of human rights and soft power it’s incredibly important to actually give Taiwan credit for it.

It helped Taiwan go through that and be the role model it is supposed to be.

What I’m really hoping to do is that I will be able to go to different universities in Asia and just show the movie there. Because after all, I hope that next to the biggest Western audience.

I hope that if I go to university screenings, attend university screenings in Asia will also bring a slow impact there.

I really hope that. If people see what is possible in their own continent I hope in that change, maybe can a little bit change it up a little and changes in habits.

Do you think the example of Taiwan will help other Asian Countries to consider more freedoms and rights for the LGBT community?

I think if you have one positive example, others can follow.

I’m sure that it won’t be a change within the next five years. But I think within the next generation, my generation, when I’ll be a bit older or when I’ll have children, then it’s going to be definitely easier for them to be openly gay or lesbian in Asia.

That’s what I’m really sure of. Because if you have one positive example, I think others can actually follow. I know that it’s so difficult to generalize in Asia because there are Muslim parts and Buddhist parts.

But I spoke to activists in Taiwan and also I was in touch with activists all around Asia. They just have a problem.

Other countries want to legalize it as well but the politicians and the governments they really don’t want to do it.

Society is a lot more involved but after all, it’s the Government on the other side.

But I’ve always said if I’m in a lecture hall in some country: in South Korea, in Japan or anywhere and I only have the ability to speak to some students and those students will be touched by my movie that would be a huge success for me.

Photos courtesy of Lucie Liu

topics: Taiwan same-sex marriage

#Documentary, #Interview, #Lgbt, #Taiwan

The Weekly Energy Foresight Snapshot for July 10-16 2023

July 10-16, 2023 Six Of Pentacles This is a good week for giving and receiving, and for looking deeply at what this truly means to you. You are in a good position to give of yourself this week - both physically and energetically. Even if you feel tight monetarily when you allow yourself the gifting of even $.50 you will have that returned to you + more! When you give energetically this week you shouldn't feel burdened in any way - in fact, you may find that helping someone with their yard, watching your friends pups, or helping someone load their groceries may just make you feel even more energized! ... now for the receiving part. Are you truly open to bringing more good into your life? Do you feel worthy of the good coming to you? Do you have the space for receiving that good - physically and energetically? Open Wide & Allow Yourself To Receive! Mid-Week ~ 10-13 Peace End-Week ~ 13-16 Divine Order Observances: 10 -Orangemen's Day: CAN _____________ https://direct.me/versatileinspirations _____________ FREE Membership - Full Weekly Energy Reading + Includes One Individual Free Card Pull Per Week https://www.facebook.com/groups/lightworkersandearthangelsstudyhall $5 Paid Membership Subscribe/Cancel Anytime https://www.patreon.com/versatileinspirations https://www.subscribestar.com/versatile-inspirations (both are the same – different ways to pay at each) Includes One Personalized Card Reading Per Week + More! _____________ How We Can Work Together 👇 Readings, Reiki, and More https://www.versatileinspirations.com Udemy https://www.udemy.com/user/tracy118/ SkillShare https://www.skillshare.com/user/tuwagner/ The LightWorkers and Earth Angels Academy http://lightworkers-earth-angels-academy.thinkific.com/ _____________ Social Media Connections https://www.facebook.com/versatileinspirations Instagram @versatileinspirations Twitter: @TracyUnaWagner The LightWorkers and Earth Angels Study Hall https://www.facebook.com/groups/lightworkersandearthangelsstudyhall rumble https://rumble.com/user/VersatileInspirations _____________ 📨 [email protected] 💻 https://www.versatileinspirations.com 🏫 http://lightworkers-earth-angels-academy.thinkific.com 🏫 https://www.udemy.com/user/tracy118/ 🏫 https://skl.sh/2Ie87sm 💧https://mydoterra.com/tracyunawagner 🎬 https://filmora.wondershare.com 📷 https://www.pixabay.com 📷 https://www.depositphotos.com 🎨 https://www.canva.com 🎨 https://www.picmonkey.com 🎶 Envato https://audiojungle.net , Kevin MacLeod https://incompetech.com , iMovie Royalty Free Audio/Visuals, & Wondershare Filmora Royalty Free Audio/Visuals _____________ Tarot Cards: Gilded Tarot by: Ciro Marchetti & Barbara Moore Oracle Cards: Archangel Oracle by: Hay House

Weeks 19-21: Fortunately, I wasn't lying

How I reduced my costs 3x and increased my revenue 50%.  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Hey, it's been a while.

Welcome to Weeks 19-21 of my $20k to $500k in 1 Year Challenge. Past weeks can be read here.

Switching these updates from weekly to monthly was, without a doubt, the right decision.

By the end, I think you'll agree.

There's a growing opposition to the "build in public" movement... and I get it. You end up spending more time and energy on the public part than your actual business.

That said, I have a good balance now. And everyone benefits because it leads to higher quality updates and takeaways.

In Today's Email

January by the numbers.

How I reduced my cost per subscriber by 3x.

Facebook is so nice!

I got into a legit ad network.

Will my users... just pay me?

I wasn't lying about record days.

Marketing psychology is so easy...

...but Google isn't.

Facebook is trash!

Staying focused on what I'm really doing here.

The big questions to answer in February.

First, here's how January ended:

Traffic: 61,998 pageviews ​Revenue: $812 ​Email: 23,202 subscribers ​Facebook: 124,770 followers ​Published: 163 (total) articles

I'm pretty much equal parts pleased and disappointed with these numbers. If you take the whole "in 1 year" part of this challenge away, I'm almost entirely pleased.

Nonetheless, there have been two very significant wins, several frustrations, and lots of potential breakthroughs since my last update.

Let's start with the wins.

Cost per newsletter subscriber decreased by 3x.

My site's Ad RPM increased from $9.50 to over $14.

Before I tell you exactly what I did, I have to emphasize how important it's been to finally come up with an incredibly high converting Facebook ad.

Here's a snapshot of the old one versus the new one:

​

The last column says everything. Same number of leads for $900 less.

Like I said in my Tweet, I nearly accepted that there just wasn't anyway around paying 49 cents per email subscriber.

If you remember my math in Week 12, you know that 49 cents each completely ruins my projections and likelihood of completing the challenge.

But I had to remind myself that being scrappy and trying new things is literally how I've always found success in the past.

Continuous optimization is vital.

Okay, so what happened?

In Facebook Ad Manager where you create the ad for your Lead Generation campaign, you might have noticed this:

​

I've ignored it for months because I don't (or at least didn't) like incentive-based leads.

How many times have you agreed to give your email for 10% off of a product, then proceeded to ignore that company's emails forever? Or just unsubscribed.

Or perhaps you've followed and replied to a user on Twitter who promises to send you something that's almost always too good to be true? Then unfollowed once you confirmed it was garbage.

Incentives are tricky.

But with my back to the wall, I wanted to try it out.

Since I'm still keeping my real site under wraps, I'll use my ongoing example from past updates: a website for introverts.

First, I created a PDF called 60 Ways To Make Life Easier If You're An Introvert.

(Tip: I actually used ChatGPT to generate them.)

Then I created an ad to entice introverts to download this helpful resource in exchange for their email address.

In the Form creation process, under the "Message for leads" tab, you can change it from View website to View file:

​

Once you change it, you can upload your PDF. Then your form will include this:

​

This creates a sense of "I need to see what's behind the locked door." Humans are funny creatures like that.

So, think about what actually happened here psychologically.

The old way:

Please, trust me that my newsletter is good. I promise you'll like it. Do me this favor.

Okay, thanks. One more favor please - go check your email and confirm.

Thanks, now just wait til tomorrow or next week to finally receive it. I hope you remember me.

The new way:

Here's something you can look at literally right this very second that will improve your life.

Seriously, you will be reading it as soon as you hit submit.

But how did it turn out?

Leads became 3x less expensive.

And my open rate INCREASED.

It turns out that if you do this correctly, it's the perfect strategy.

Offer a free, helpful download in PDF form.

Start the PDF with a friendly thank you and for them to check their email after they're done reading (this is basically a mini Welcome email they receive immediately).

In the welcome email, thank them again for reading and tell them what they can expect every day.

But here's the most vitally important piece of the puzzle: the content of your PDF should be the perfect prequel to what you're sending in your ongoing emails.

If I get subscribers by giving introverts 60 tips to improve their lives, then my ongoing email better continue offering additional helpful articles and advice for introverts.

As long as it does, you've gained a quality subscriber for 1/3rd the cost.

The same person that would have cost 3-5x more simply because you gave them something instead of asked for something.

So, even though I'm technically behind on the numbers I projected, I was able to reduce my costs significantly and set the stage.

And then Good Guy Facebook threw me another bone.

With the weight of this weekly email off of my shoulders, I actually noticed something else in my Fb Ad Manager: the ability to switch my payment terms completely.

​

I don't know how much money you have to spend to get this option, but I am now only paying after $5,000 is spent - and on Net 30 terms, which means my first payment won't be til the end of March (for February expenses).

This helps tremendously with cash flow as it pertains to the challenge. I was set to run out of money by the end of February, but this gives me an extra month to collect and improve monetization.

And that is starting to happen.

There's a lot to say about monetizing.

First, I was able to get the site into AdThrive. Some might disagree but, generally, it's the best ad management solution for a small site like mine.

It takes a couple of weeks to ramp up, but I'm already seeing a 50% increase in revenue.

Combined with the email leads being drastically cheaper, this is a significant financial swing.

In a perfect world, my hungry audience would be married to the perfect sponsor. Then I'd just focus on delivering an amazing email every day that's monetized well.

But like I whined about in this Tweet, that service really just doesn't exist. There are some companies making progress, but, for my needs, it does not exist.

So I'm beginning to test out other sources of revenue:

An exclusive membership program for the most loyal supporters.

Actual books (much more on this in the future if I go this route).

High margin merchandise related to my niche.

Possibly affiliate programs.

The feedback from my subscribers has been ridiculously positive, and people can be very generous when you're giving them value.

Think about this email you're reading right now:

Would you pay me $10/month to have access to a private forum/Slack/channel where I provide exclusive insights, talk to you and others about your own projects, and generally keep all the best stuff there?

A lot of you certainly wouldn't - but a lot of you would because the value would be so far beyond $10/mo that it would be a no brainer.

That's what I'm going for on the challenge site: an exclusive paid membership for the super supporters who want even more.

If I provide an overwhelming, undeniable amount of value, it can work.

As someone who has mostly only monetized with display advertisements, I'm really excited to report back on how this works.

Hopefully it's a positive report like this one:

My record day became a normal day, as I hoped.

In my last email in mid January, I said:

Pageviews from the newsletter finally topped 1,000 in a single day on January 10th.

1,178 to be exact.

Mentally, this was actually very important because my frustration was growing.

Staying disciplined and trusting the process can be tough.

But then you see some sort of breakthrough. Then things (usually) go back down.

Then you see a new breakthrough that’s a little better than the last one. Then it goes back down.

And this keeps happening until suddenly your floor is equivalent to the first breakthrough.

I'm happy to report I'm not a liar.

From January 10th to January 23th, those 1,178 page views remained the record day.

Then for 4 straight days starting on the 24th, each day was higher than the record.

Here are my email pageviews by week in January:

A trend you like to see.

Theoretically, this should just continue to rise all year.

But it's not all rainbows and butterflies in Challengeville.

After the 4 record days mentioned above, I had a day that barely cracked 1,000 page views from email.

This is where patience really gets tested. It's amazing how the feeling of so many "wins" is instantly shattered by one "loss."

After feeling like I was failing, I went through several newsletters to see what worked and why it worked.

The content seemed on par.

The headlines were solid.

The images were about the same.

Were my subscribers wearing down? The open rate was rising, so it made no sense.

But I like to think about marketing like it's a chain.

If one link in the chain breaks, your chain - as a whole - is broken.

Link 1: my email enters your inbox. Did it land in the primary folder without a problem? Great.

Link 2: you need to be enticed to open it. Did the subject line interest you enough? Yes.

Link 3: I want you to click to my website and consume an article. Did you? No.

Why not? You're in the email and the first thing there is a link to my site! WHY AREN'T YOU CLICKING IT?

Because I started consistently breaking the chain at link 2.

Not because they didn't open it, but because my subject lines had become so focused on getting them to open the email that I left out ensuring link 2 (my subject line) was still connected to link 3 (the article I wanted them to consume).

When my subject line and opening paragraph naturally led the reader to click a link to the site, to nobody's surprise, more people clicked the link to the site.

Marketing is really just the art of figuring out how to psychologically lead someone to do exactly what you want them to do.

Too bad I can't do that with Google.

Total Google traffic in January: 145.

That's rough.

You know by now that I never write for Google nor do I do keyword research.

But 145? In a month?

I don't know if this is some sort of Google sandbox thing, a lack of quality backlinks, not enough search volume in my niche, content that doesn't fit, or some combination of all of that.

I'm starting to slowly go through some of the older pieces that I think have potential.

I like this strategy to use Google Search Console for direction.

The way I treat the daily newsletter is how I need to treat the content when it comes to Google. If I'm not providing an overwhelming amount of actual, real value, then I shouldn't expect it to rank.

Hoping by the time I send my next email, there's some improvement.

Oh, and Facebook reach is trash right now too.

I don't know if it's just my site or not, but Facebook reach on links has just been awful.

It tends to come and go... it just happens to be in the state of go(ing) right now.

But it's a great reminder: I'm building a business.

Writing content to rank for keywords on Google is a strategy.

Creating content that will go viral on Facebook is a strategy.

Sending a daily email to get clicks and paying members is a strategy.

Using PPC to get sales is a strategy.

None of these things are a business. Yet each of them individually are the entirety of so many businesses.

I need to build a brand. And that brand needs to utilize all of those strategies.

That's where my focus is now. Otherwise, I become frustrated when a particular strategy isn't working because it feels like the entire business is failing.

It's not true.

Continuing to build a multi-platform business that gives undeniable value every day can't fail.

If it does, then I didn't give enough undeniable value. The business didn't fail - I failed at business.

Wrapping up til next month...

Overall, I feel good despite the above challenges.

The two breakthroughs (cheaper subs, higher revenue) in January set the stage to go all in now.

Here are the big questions to answer this month:

How much can I spend, at scale, to acquire as many quality subscribers as possible?

Can I improve existing articles and actually gain traction in Google?

Will my users be open to paying me a monthly fee for additional content and special access?

What other breakthroughs are out there, just waiting to be uncovered?

Because there are plenty. I just have to keep finding them.

Unfortunately, it's not Leap Year, so there are only 28 days to find out.

See you on March 1st.

​

Sorry, new Dad here.

Thanks for reading,

Scott

​Unsubscribe | Update your profile | PO Box 1321, Topanga, CA 90290

----------------------- Hey, it's been a while. ----------------------- Welcome to Weeks 19-21 of my $20k to $500k in 1 Year Challenge. Past weeks can be read here ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/wnh2hghrdegd7os7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NvdHRkZWxvbmcuY29tL2NoYWxsZW5nZS8= ). Switching these updates from weekly to monthly was, without a doubt, the right decision. By the end, I think you'll agree. There's a growing opposition to the "build in public" movement... and I get it. You end up spending more time and energy on the public part than your actual business. That said, I have a good balance now. And everyone benefits because it leads to higher quality updates and takeaways. ---------------- In Today's Email ---------------- * January by the numbers. * How I reduced my cost per subscriber by 3x. * Facebook is so nice! * I got into a legit ad network. * Will my users... just pay me? * I wasn't lying about record days. * Marketing psychology is so easy... * ...but Google isn't. * Facebook is trash! * Staying focused on what I'm really doing here. * The big questions to answer in February. -------------------------------- First, here's how January ended: -------------------------------- Traffic: 61,998 pageviews ​Revenue: $812 ​Email: 23,202 subscribers ​Facebook: 124,770 followers ​Published: 163 (total) articles I'm pretty much equal parts pleased and disappointed with these numbers. If you take the whole "in 1 year" part of this challenge away, I'm almost entirely pleased. Nonetheless, there have been two very significant wins, several frustrations, and lots of potential breakthroughs since my last update. -------------------------- Let's start with the wins. -------------------------- * Cost per newsletter subscriber decreased by 3x. * My site's Ad RPM increased from $9.50 to over $14. Before I tell you exactly what I did, I have to emphasize how important it's been to finally come up with an incredibly high converting Facebook ad. Here's a snapshot of the old one versus the new one: ​ The last column says everything. Same number of leads for $900 less. Like I said in my Tweet ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/reh8hohqpgxpdqt2/aHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0dGVyLmNvbS9zY290dGludGhld29ybGQvc3RhdHVzLzE2MTcyODg2OTc5MzM4ODU0NDA_cz0yMCZ0PVFkalZtdWwzNFZMbWt4N3lZSHpoYUE= ), I nearly accepted that there just wasn't anyway around paying 49 cents per email subscriber. If you remember my math in Week 12 ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/08hwh9hm43z4edfl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NvdHRkZWxvbmcuY29tL2NoYWxsZW5nZS93ZWVrLTEyLw== ), you know that 49 cents each completely ruins my projections and likelihood of completing the challenge. But I had to remind myself that being scrappy and trying new things is literally how I've always found success in the past. Continuous optimization is vital. Okay, so what happened? In Facebook Ad Manager where you create the ad for your Lead Generation campaign, you might have noticed this: ​ I've ignored it for months because I don't (or at least didn't) like incentive-based leads. How many times have you agreed to give your email for 10% off of a product, then proceeded to ignore that company's emails forever? Or just unsubscribed. Or perhaps you've followed and replied to a user on Twitter who promises to send you something that's almost always too good to be true? Then unfollowed once you confirmed it was garbage. Incentives are tricky. But with my back to the wall, I wanted to try it out. Since I'm still keeping my real site under wraps, I'll use my ongoing example from past updates: a website for introverts. First, I created a PDF called 60 Ways To Make Life Easier If You're An Introvert. (Tip: I actually used ChatGPT to generate them.) Then I created an ad to entice introverts to download this helpful resource in exchange for their email address. In the Form creation process, under the "Message for leads" tab, you can change it from View website to View file: ​ Once you change it, you can upload your PDF. Then your form will include this: ​ This creates a sense of "I need to see what's behind the locked door." Humans are funny creatures like that. So, think about what actually happened here psychologically. The old way: Please, trust me that my newsletter is good. I promise you'll like it. Do me this favor. Okay, thanks. One more favor please - go check your email and confirm. Thanks, now just wait til tomorrow or next week to finally receive it. I hope you remember me. The new way: Here's something you can look at literally right this very second that will improve your life. Seriously, you will be reading it as soon as you hit submit. But how did it turn out? * Leads became 3x less expensive. * And my open rate INCREASED. It turns out that if you do this correctly, it's the perfect strategy. * Offer a free, helpful download in PDF form. * Start the PDF with a friendly thank you and for them to check their email after they're done reading (this is basically a mini Welcome email they receive immediately). * In the welcome email, thank them again for reading and tell them what they can expect every day. But here's the most vitally important piece of the puzzle: the content of your PDF should be the perfect prequel to what you're sending in your ongoing emails. If I get subscribers by giving introverts 60 tips to improve their lives, then my ongoing email better continue offering additional helpful articles and advice for introverts. As long as it does, you've gained a quality subscriber for 1/3rd the cost. The same person that would have cost 3-5x more simply because you gave them something instead of asked for something. So, even though I'm technically behind on the numbers I projected, I was able to reduce my costs significantly and set the stage. ------------------------------------------------- And then Good Guy Facebook threw me another bone. ------------------------------------------------- With the weight of this weekly email off of my shoulders, I actually noticed something else in my Fb Ad Manager: the ability to switch my payment terms completely. ​ I don't know how much money you have to spend to get this option, but I am now only paying after $5,000 is spent - and on Net 30 terms, which means my first payment won't be til the end of March (for February expenses). This helps tremendously with cash flow as it pertains to the challenge. I was set to run out of money by the end of February, but this gives me an extra month to collect and improve monetization. ------------------------------- And that is starting to happen. ------------------------------- There's a lot to say about monetizing. First, I was able to get the site into AdThrive ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/l2hehmhop8rp2rb6/aHR0cHM6Ly9hZHRocml2ZS5jb20v ). Some might disagree but, generally, it's the best ad management solution for a small site like mine. It takes a couple of weeks to ramp up, but I'm already seeing a 50% increase in revenue. Combined with the email leads being drastically cheaper, this is a significant financial swing. In a perfect world, my hungry audience would be married to the perfect sponsor. Then I'd just focus on delivering an amazing email every day that's monetized well. But like I whined about in this Tweet ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/e0hph7hkz84zv6t8/aHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0dGVyLmNvbS9zY290dGludGhld29ybGQvc3RhdHVzLzE2MTc2MzIxODg2MzU0MTg2MjY= ), that service really just doesn't exist. There are some companies making progress, but, for my needs, it does not exist. So I'm beginning to test out other sources of revenue: * An exclusive membership program for the most loyal supporters. * Actual books (much more on this in the future if I go this route). * High margin merchandise related to my niche. * Possibly affiliate programs. The feedback from my subscribers has been ridiculously positive, and people can be very generous when you're giving them value. Think about this email you're reading right now: Would you pay me $10/month to have access to a private forum/Slack/channel where I provide exclusive insights, talk to you and others about your own projects, and generally keep all the best stuff there? A lot of you certainly wouldn't - but a lot of you would because the value would be so far beyond $10/mo that it would be a no brainer. That's what I'm going for on the challenge site: an exclusive paid membership for the super supporters who want even more. If I provide an overwhelming, undeniable amount of value, it can work. As someone who has mostly only monetized with display advertisements, I'm really excited to report back on how this works. Hopefully it's a positive report like this one: ---------------------------------------------- My record day became a normal day, as I hoped. ---------------------------------------------- In my last email ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/7qh7h8h0erzellfz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NvdHRkZWxvbmcuY29tL2NoYWxsZW5nZS93ZWVrLTE4Lw== ) in mid January, I said: Pageviews from the newsletter finally topped 1,000 in a single day on January 10th. 1,178 to be exact. Mentally, this was actually very important because my frustration was growing. Staying disciplined and trusting the process can be tough. But then you see some sort of breakthrough. Then things (usually) go back down. Then you see a new breakthrough that’s a little better than the last one. Then it goes back down. And this keeps happening until suddenly your floor is equivalent to the first breakthrough. I'm happy to report I'm not a liar. From January 10th to January 23th, those 1,178 page views remained the record day. Then for 4 straight days starting on the 24th, each day was higher than the record. Here are my email pageviews by week in January: A trend you like to see. Theoretically, this should just continue to rise all year. ------------------------------------------------------------ But it's not all rainbows and butterflies in Challengeville. ------------------------------------------------------------ After the 4 record days mentioned above, I had a day that barely cracked 1,000 page views from email. This is where patience really gets tested. It's amazing how the feeling of so many "wins" is instantly shattered by one "loss." After feeling like I was failing, I went through several newsletters to see what worked and why it worked. * The content seemed on par. * The headlines were solid. * The images were about the same. Were my subscribers wearing down? The open rate was rising, so it made no sense. But I like to think about marketing like it's a chain. If one link in the chain breaks, your chain - as a whole - is broken. Link 1: my email enters your inbox. Did it land in the primary folder without a problem? Great. Link 2: you need to be enticed to open it. Did the subject line interest you enough? Yes. Link 3: I want you to click to my website and consume an article. Did you? No. Why not? You're in the email and the first thing there is a link to my site! WHY AREN'T YOU CLICKING IT? Because I started consistently breaking the chain at link 2. Not because they didn't open it, but because my subject lines had become so focused on getting them to open the email that I left out ensuring link 2 (my subject line) was still connected to link 3 (the article I wanted them to consume). When my subject line and opening paragraph naturally led the reader to click a link to the site, to nobody's surprise, more people clicked the link to the site. Marketing is really just the art of figuring out how to psychologically lead someone to do exactly what you want them to do. ------------------------------------ Too bad I can't do that with Google. ------------------------------------ Total Google traffic in January: 145. That's rough. You know by now that I never write for Google nor do I do keyword research. But 145? In a month? I don't know if this is some sort of Google sandbox thing, a lack of quality backlinks, not enough search volume in my niche, content that doesn't fit, or some combination of all of that. I'm starting to slowly go through some of the older pieces that I think have potential. I like this strategy ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/owhkhqh4e2oe9dsv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cub3V0ZXJib3hkZXNpZ24uY29tL3NlYXJjaC1tYXJrZXRpbmcvc2VvLXRpcHMvZ29vZ2xlLXNlYXJjaC1jb25zb2xlLWtleXdvcmQtcmVzZWFyY2gtb3B0aW1pemF0aW9u ) to use Google Search Console for direction. The way I treat the daily newsletter is how I need to treat the content when it comes to Google. If I'm not providing an overwhelming amount of actual, real value, then I shouldn't expect it to rank. Hoping by the time I send my next email, there's some improvement. ---------------------------------------------- Oh, and Facebook reach is trash right now too. ---------------------------------------------- I don't know if it's just my site or not, but Facebook reach on links has just been awful. It tends to come and go... it just happens to be in the state of go(ing) right now. --------------------------------------------------- But it's a great reminder: I'm building a business. --------------------------------------------------- Writing content to rank for keywords on Google is a strategy. Creating content that will go viral on Facebook is a strategy. Sending a daily email to get clicks and paying members is a strategy. Using PPC to get sales is a strategy. None of these things are a business. Yet each of them individually are the entirety of so many businesses. I need to build a brand. And that brand needs to utilize all of those strategies. That's where my focus is now. Otherwise, I become frustrated when a particular strategy isn't working because it feels like the entire business is failing. It's not true. Continuing to build a multi-platform business that gives undeniable value every day can't fail. If it does, then I didn't give enough undeniable value. The business didn't fail - I failed at business. ----------------------------- Wrapping up til next month... ----------------------------- Overall, I feel good despite the above challenges. The two breakthroughs (cheaper subs, higher revenue) in January set the stage to go all in now. Here are the big questions to answer this month: * How much can I spend, at scale, to acquire as many quality subscribers as possible? * Can I improve existing articles and actually gain traction in Google? * Will my users be open to paying me a monthly fee for additional content and special access? * What other breakthroughs are out there, just waiting to be uncovered? Because there are plenty. I just have to keep finding them. Unfortunately, it's not Leap Year, so there are only 28 days to find out. See you on March 1st. ​ Sorry, new Dad here. Thanks for reading, Scott ​Unsubscribe ( https://unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8 )

----------------------- Hey, it's been a while. ----------------------- Welcome to Weeks 19-21 of my $20k to $500k in 1 Year Challenge. Past weeks can be read here ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/wnh2hghrdegd7os7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NvdHRkZWxvbmcuY29tL2NoYWxsZW5nZS8= ). Switching these updates from weekly to monthly was, without a doubt, the right decision. By the end, I think you'll agree. There's a growing opposition to the "build in public" movement... and I get it. You end up spending more time and energy on the public part than your actual business. That said, I have a good balance now. And everyone benefits because it leads to higher quality updates and takeaways. ---------------- In Today's Email ---------------- * January by the numbers. * How I reduced my cost per subscriber by 3x. * Facebook is so nice! * I got into a legit ad network. * Will my users... just pay me? * I wasn't lying about record days. * Marketing psychology is so easy... * ...but Google isn't. * Facebook is trash! * Staying focused on what I'm really doing here. * The big questions to answer in February. -------------------------------- First, here's how January ended: -------------------------------- Traffic: 61,998 pageviews ​Revenue: $812 ​Email: 23,202 subscribers ​Facebook: 124,770 followers ​Published: 163 (total) articles I'm pretty much equal parts pleased and disappointed with these numbers. If you take the whole "in 1 year" part of this challenge away, I'm almost entirely pleased. Nonetheless, there have been two very significant wins, several frustrations, and lots of potential breakthroughs since my last update. -------------------------- Let's start with the wins. -------------------------- * Cost per newsletter subscriber decreased by 3x. * My site's Ad RPM increased from $9.50 to over $14. Before I tell you exactly what I did, I have to emphasize how important it's been to finally come up with an incredibly high converting Facebook ad. Here's a snapshot of the old one versus the new one: ​ The last column says everything. Same number of leads for $900 less. Like I said in my Tweet ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/reh8hohqpgxpdqt2/aHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0dGVyLmNvbS9zY290dGludGhld29ybGQvc3RhdHVzLzE2MTcyODg2OTc5MzM4ODU0NDA_cz0yMCZ0PVFkalZtdWwzNFZMbWt4N3lZSHpoYUE= ), I nearly accepted that there just wasn't anyway around paying 49 cents per email subscriber. If you remember my math in Week 12 ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/08hwh9hm43z4edfl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NvdHRkZWxvbmcuY29tL2NoYWxsZW5nZS93ZWVrLTEyLw== ), you know that 49 cents each completely ruins my projections and likelihood of completing the challenge. But I had to remind myself that being scrappy and trying new things is literally how I've always found success in the past. Continuous optimization is vital. Okay, so what happened? In Facebook Ad Manager where you create the ad for your Lead Generation campaign, you might have noticed this: ​ I've ignored it for months because I don't (or at least didn't) like incentive-based leads. How many times have you agreed to give your email for 10% off of a product, then proceeded to ignore that company's emails forever? Or just unsubscribed. Or perhaps you've followed and replied to a user on Twitter who promises to send you something that's almost always too good to be true? Then unfollowed once you confirmed it was garbage. Incentives are tricky. But with my back to the wall, I wanted to try it out. Since I'm still keeping my real site under wraps, I'll use my ongoing example from past updates: a website for introverts. First, I created a PDF called 60 Ways To Make Life Easier If You're An Introvert. (Tip: I actually used ChatGPT to generate them.) Then I created an ad to entice introverts to download this helpful resource in exchange for their email address. In the Form creation process, under the "Message for leads" tab, you can change it from View website to View file: ​ Once you change it, you can upload your PDF. Then your form will include this: ​ This creates a sense of "I need to see what's behind the locked door." Humans are funny creatures like that. So, think about what actually happened here psychologically. The old way: Please, trust me that my newsletter is good. I promise you'll like it. Do me this favor. Okay, thanks. One more favor please - go check your email and confirm. Thanks, now just wait til tomorrow or next week to finally receive it. I hope you remember me. The new way: Here's something you can look at literally right this very second that will improve your life. Seriously, you will be reading it as soon as you hit submit. But how did it turn out? * Leads became 3x less expensive. * And my open rate INCREASED. It turns out that if you do this correctly, it's the perfect strategy. * Offer a free, helpful download in PDF form. * Start the PDF with a friendly thank you and for them to check their email after they're done reading (this is basically a mini Welcome email they receive immediately). * In the welcome email, thank them again for reading and tell them what they can expect every day. But here's the most vitally important piece of the puzzle: the content of your PDF should be the perfect prequel to what you're sending in your ongoing emails. If I get subscribers by giving introverts 60 tips to improve their lives, then my ongoing email better continue offering additional helpful articles and advice for introverts. As long as it does, you've gained a quality subscriber for 1/3rd the cost. The same person that would have cost 3-5x more simply because you gave them something instead of asked for something. So, even though I'm technically behind on the numbers I projected, I was able to reduce my costs significantly and set the stage. ------------------------------------------------- And then Good Guy Facebook threw me another bone. ------------------------------------------------- With the weight of this weekly email off of my shoulders, I actually noticed something else in my Fb Ad Manager: the ability to switch my payment terms completely. ​ I don't know how much money you have to spend to get this option, but I am now only paying after $5,000 is spent - and on Net 30 terms, which means my first payment won't be til the end of March (for February expenses). This helps tremendously with cash flow as it pertains to the challenge. I was set to run out of money by the end of February, but this gives me an extra month to collect and improve monetization. ------------------------------- And that is starting to happen. ------------------------------- There's a lot to say about monetizing. First, I was able to get the site into AdThrive ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/l2hehmhop8rp2rb6/aHR0cHM6Ly9hZHRocml2ZS5jb20v ). Some might disagree but, generally, it's the best ad management solution for a small site like mine. It takes a couple of weeks to ramp up, but I'm already seeing a 50% increase in revenue. Combined with the email leads being drastically cheaper, this is a significant financial swing. In a perfect world, my hungry audience would be married to the perfect sponsor. Then I'd just focus on delivering an amazing email every day that's monetized well. But like I whined about in this Tweet ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/e0hph7hkz84zv6t8/aHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0dGVyLmNvbS9zY290dGludGhld29ybGQvc3RhdHVzLzE2MTc2MzIxODg2MzU0MTg2MjY= ), that service really just doesn't exist. There are some companies making progress, but, for my needs, it does not exist. So I'm beginning to test out other sources of revenue: * An exclusive membership program for the most loyal supporters. * Actual books (much more on this in the future if I go this route). * High margin merchandise related to my niche. * Possibly affiliate programs. The feedback from my subscribers has been ridiculously positive, and people can be very generous when you're giving them value. Think about this email you're reading right now: Would you pay me $10/month to have access to a private forum/Slack/channel where I provide exclusive insights, talk to you and others about your own projects, and generally keep all the best stuff there? A lot of you certainly wouldn't - but a lot of you would because the value would be so far beyond $10/mo that it would be a no brainer. That's what I'm going for on the challenge site: an exclusive paid membership for the super supporters who want even more. If I provide an overwhelming, undeniable amount of value, it can work. As someone who has mostly only monetized with display advertisements, I'm really excited to report back on how this works. Hopefully it's a positive report like this one: ---------------------------------------------- My record day became a normal day, as I hoped. ---------------------------------------------- In my last email ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/7qh7h8h0erzellfz/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuc2NvdHRkZWxvbmcuY29tL2NoYWxsZW5nZS93ZWVrLTE4Lw== ) in mid January, I said: Pageviews from the newsletter finally topped 1,000 in a single day on January 10th. 1,178 to be exact. Mentally, this was actually very important because my frustration was growing. Staying disciplined and trusting the process can be tough. But then you see some sort of breakthrough. Then things (usually) go back down. Then you see a new breakthrough that’s a little better than the last one. Then it goes back down. And this keeps happening until suddenly your floor is equivalent to the first breakthrough. I'm happy to report I'm not a liar. From January 10th to January 23th, those 1,178 page views remained the record day. Then for 4 straight days starting on the 24th, each day was higher than the record. Here are my email pageviews by week in January: A trend you like to see. Theoretically, this should just continue to rise all year. ------------------------------------------------------------ But it's not all rainbows and butterflies in Challengeville. ------------------------------------------------------------ After the 4 record days mentioned above, I had a day that barely cracked 1,000 page views from email. This is where patience really gets tested. It's amazing how the feeling of so many "wins" is instantly shattered by one "loss." After feeling like I was failing, I went through several newsletters to see what worked and why it worked. * The content seemed on par. * The headlines were solid. * The images were about the same. Were my subscribers wearing down? The open rate was rising, so it made no sense. But I like to think about marketing like it's a chain. If one link in the chain breaks, your chain - as a whole - is broken. Link 1: my email enters your inbox. Did it land in the primary folder without a problem? Great. Link 2: you need to be enticed to open it. Did the subject line interest you enough? Yes. Link 3: I want you to click to my website and consume an article. Did you? No. Why not? You're in the email and the first thing there is a link to my site! WHY AREN'T YOU CLICKING IT? Because I started consistently breaking the chain at link 2. Not because they didn't open it, but because my subject lines had become so focused on getting them to open the email that I left out ensuring link 2 (my subject line) was still connected to link 3 (the article I wanted them to consume). When my subject line and opening paragraph naturally led the reader to click a link to the site, to nobody's surprise, more people clicked the link to the site. Marketing is really just the art of figuring out how to psychologically lead someone to do exactly what you want them to do. ------------------------------------ Too bad I can't do that with Google. ------------------------------------ Total Google traffic in January: 145. That's rough. You know by now that I never write for Google nor do I do keyword research. But 145? In a month? I don't know if this is some sort of Google sandbox thing, a lack of quality backlinks, not enough search volume in my niche, content that doesn't fit, or some combination of all of that. I'm starting to slowly go through some of the older pieces that I think have potential. I like this strategy ( https://click.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8/owhkhqh4e2oe9dsv/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cub3V0ZXJib3hkZXNpZ24uY29tL3NlYXJjaC1tYXJrZXRpbmcvc2VvLXRpcHMvZ29vZ2xlLXNlYXJjaC1jb25zb2xlLWtleXdvcmQtcmVzZWFyY2gtb3B0aW1pemF0aW9u ) to use Google Search Console for direction. The way I treat the daily newsletter is how I need to treat the content when it comes to Google. If I'm not providing an overwhelming amount of actual, real value, then I shouldn't expect it to rank. Hoping by the time I send my next email, there's some improvement. ---------------------------------------------- Oh, and Facebook reach is trash right now too. ---------------------------------------------- I don't know if it's just my site or not, but Facebook reach on links has just been awful. It tends to come and go... it just happens to be in the state of go(ing) right now. --------------------------------------------------- But it's a great reminder: I'm building a business. --------------------------------------------------- Writing content to rank for keywords on Google is a strategy. Creating content that will go viral on Facebook is a strategy. Sending a daily email to get clicks and paying members is a strategy. Using PPC to get sales is a strategy. None of these things are a business. Yet each of them individually are the entirety of so many businesses. I need to build a brand. And that brand needs to utilize all of those strategies. That's where my focus is now. Otherwise, I become frustrated when a particular strategy isn't working because it feels like the entire business is failing. It's not true. Continuing to build a multi-platform business that gives undeniable value every day can't fail. If it does, then I didn't give enough undeniable value. The business didn't fail - I failed at business. ----------------------------- Wrapping up til next month... ----------------------------- Overall, I feel good despite the above challenges. The two breakthroughs (cheaper subs, higher revenue) in January set the stage to go all in now. Here are the big questions to answer this month: * How much can I spend, at scale, to acquire as many quality subscribers as possible? * Can I improve existing articles and actually gain traction in Google? * Will my users be open to paying me a monthly fee for additional content and special access? * What other breakthroughs are out there, just waiting to be uncovered? Because there are plenty. I just have to keep finding them. Unfortunately, it's not Leap Year, so there are only 28 days to find out. See you on March 1st. ​ Sorry, new Dad here. Thanks for reading, Scott ​Unsubscribe ( https://unsubscribe.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8 ) | Update your profile ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail2.com/e5umx75go7s7hpnp78la8 ) | PO Box 1321, Topanga, CA 90290

I Repr. Inalienable Rights I do I move I breathe I represent inalienable rights. But I am stuck at a border, we humans not created equal now are we Now I just want education, I’m female living in Middle East Regard me as child 6th year since born and I gunned down a teacher Next a Politician made into greater by voters, I fooled, left covid, assaulted Capital Death I’m Nature here, humans non-combating warming’s failing to kick; now I’m slipping, tornadic throwing’s, out of power cyclone of water u prayed last year through drought, blizzards compiling compelling metal a nue sound for a world landscapes, everything of meaning requires insurance..............did u purchase!? Abortion rights lost Free lunches holding on We will give until 18 What’s your choice? I’m still a (child somethang teen adult only after 18 for so many years to come Science granted after puberty in phys Ed in biology, a fleshy someone in human captivity capacity of emotions psycho abbreviations & drugs prescribed as child by doctor allowed by parent adult & im here as adult now, right! Drugged since I don’t know after my birth but the chemicals have gained control of my Me myself and i I have rights! Sorry no abortion here now There are means however look into past histories I’m sure you can find something online, my h20 is killing me News all around non corners of globe That infrastructure was laid deep before your time, how really is your mind? Call that service for pipes Get ‘em graffiti out (art so much problems) straight lines easy to follow, dig Earth lightly don’t puncture the pipe, remove land for exposed pipe, run down grab supplies for a leak, cut both ends of pipe throw in that coupler to stop that leak, now look at your drinking into body cut out of Pipe, you drink from that your taxes have been paying for. Vacations needed before all lower people I gave up my 2022 vacation days from managerial peer pressure just lost days Keeping fucks entertained My inalienable right Write Post Feelings Sleep if alive Repeat Not in the streets just yet but only who all around universally will know, choice chose or choose in a lifeline providing to humans without a voice of own I have a few bags of things? Do I have any Rights On a doorstep! Waiting on a doorstep It’s cold I don’t hear you, disrupting my dinner! Ignoring Rights! Topple that Statue of Liberty Down! Her words are meaningless in 2023 so far, ball and chain that material object having no meaning in the now Lady Liberty is an Alien Lady Liberty is an Alien Crush, demolish the Idols American Idols Looked at from other Planets Alienable ally able’s Foreign dirt on my door step, help it’s lining up needing a home No ET here Born human Non aborted Education job home family Not enough swallowing apparently by newbie parents, but those folks are keeping kids feed for a future In America No Praise or rewards for the journeys Since like beginning of 1900’s like movie Mi Famalia , denied by Amazon, Vudu, anywhere MoviesAnywhere just listened for first twenty half hour, long travelings Sit here wait like an American Pet Irritating my rights As I see my focused here in my vision correct eyes, thc connecting my sanity, you’re welcome, nicotine (kids should not be reading Tumblr) alchohol, porn for drainage non build up in pipes, thinking creativity some snapshots of mine in written photographic forms so others know me as some kind in delight or discourse it’s a LIFE (*) bro sis cuz aunt unc mom and dad to those parents before A glass is raised on your behalf’s Good or bad A human in a line of those wanting to change things For a better not some marriage supposed to get through the hurts A betterment in this life of * Living Infinitely Forever Energy