#what if me sacrificing all the fun things I could experience just me wasting my time and it all won't even be worth it all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

irlkdj · 11 months

Text

Doksoo Analysis: Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint [SPOILERS]

I’d like to talk about the relationship between Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung and how I perceive it. At its core, I think their story portrays that when we really love someone—truly and fully—we are willing to give up our own happiness to ensure theirs. This is something we see from both Sooyoung and Dokja. Han Sooyoung may seem selfish at times, especially at the beginning of the novel, but that’s because we did not yet know at the time that she gave up each of her nights and slept away her days to save Kim Dokja. We see Kim Dokja constantly throwing his life away because he loves his companions—something he is often berated for. So yes, the two of them are the same in this aspect: I love you, and I will destroy anything that gets in the way of your path to happiness. I will uproot the world and empty oceans; I will shoot down the sun and grab the moon to give to you, so long as you are safe and happy. Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung are not perfect people. And I think they see the faults in one another, and love even those pieces of themselves that the other hates. Han Sooyoung who hated Kim Dokja so much for sacrificing himself over and over again—and yet she ended up doing the same thing for him. Her memories, her time, her youth. She spent all that time ensuring the happiness of a little boy who thought he couldn’t be happy. We see in the epilogue that Han Sooyoung truly loves every part of Kim Dokja as she races after him in that train station. She reflects on his negative and positive traits positively:

“That was the exact same face of Kim Dokja she remembered.

The man who came to her 1863rd regression turn. The man who she wanted to see again. The detestable man with his own brand of ass-kissing. The man who lied really easily. The man who she enjoyed being around, since they could lie about something together and snicker among themselves.

‘----‘

The man, who didn't remember her.”

When Han Sooyoung even considers the possibility that Kim Dokja could really, truly be gone, she thought: “That was the sound of someone only living in their past finally letting go of that very past. Right at that moment, Han Sooyoung was overcome by the bizarre guilt of corruption, of betrayal.” Her regret of not being able to save him properly. All of her efforts wasted. But they weren’t wasted, not to Kim Dokja, who got to experience love, joy, friendship, and family because of Han Sooyoung. She created a world in which he could be happy. She crafted a universe where Kim Dokja could be loved just by being.. Kim Dokja. So they’re really in this constant loop. Han Sooyoung sacrifices herself to save Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja sacrifices himself to save the world she created. And then she tries everything in her power to get him back. And Kim Dokja continues to love that story she created for him:

“Not being able to comment did bum me out. I wanted to let Han Sooyoung know of my emotions one more time. To tell her that I could only come this far because of the story you gave me, that I loved your story more than anyone in this world.”

Kim Dokja loved her story. But people are stories too. Friends, families, lovers, strangers. We’re all stories in the end. Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja. She wrote the story. He read it. They created a world together. And in the end, they tore it all down to ensure the happiness of those they loved. Because what is the point of such a world if Han Sooyoung cannot turn to her left and tease Kim Dokja. What is the point of such a world if Kim Dokja cannot take another joyride with Han Sooyoung, and get made fun of for screaming “I am the protagonist!”

I’ll leave with this. The last thing Han Sooyoung wished to do before her memories faded was to see Kim Dokja. Just to /see/ him. Can you grasp the weight of this action?

“Kim Dokja felt that sensation of touch on his shoulder and looked behind him.

However, the incoming waves of commuters heading to work swept him up, and he got pushed into the subway, instead.”

Just one last touch. One last glance. One last time—can I please see him again? Can I please see the man that I am about to ruin the world for? Can I please see that he is whole? That he is real? That he isn’t words behind a screen? I think this moment really displays just how much Han Sooyoung really.. loved Kim Dokja. Wholeheartedly and unapologetically. Just seeing him one more time before disaster struck, and knowing all that was about to ensue: that was her moment. The moment that made it all worth it. This man. This pathetic man. I will destroy the world for you. And I will not apologize for it. So don’t you ever apologize for existing, and don’t you ever forget how loved you are.

#orv #orv novel #orv omniscient reader's view point #kim dokja #omniscient reader's viewpoint #han sooyoung #irlkdj #orv analysis #doksoo

220 notes · View notes

martianbugsbunny · 2 years

Text

OUAT Thoughts Pt.21--Episodes 22-1

I have watched through S3E1; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—Let’s have a round of applause for the writers. The last episode of season 2 was exceptionally well done. There was absolutely no wasted time or unneeded drama.

—For example, Belle and Mr. Gold. She got her memories back and nobody had to go through the angst of her being mad at herself or at Mr. Gold. She’s just there for him right from the second she’s herself again. Also, that was beautiful for their sake, because they’re finally becoming the people together that they should be.

—Which of course means they have to split up. But I choose to believe that they’re going to be reunited, because I trust Belle to be persistent.

—He kept the cup even though it was broken!

—I doubt Rumplestiltskin would bring his dagger with him to Neverland, particularly if he fears Peter Pan this much, which leads me to conclude that he’s having Belle watch it for him.

—Grumpy is a lovely guy. Asking the Blue Fairy to make that extra dose of memory potion for Belle was very nice of him. I doubt anyone else would’ve even thought of it.

—I respect that Hook’s reason for turning against Tamara and Owen is “I don’t want to die”. Everybody and their grandmother has a noble, self-sacrificing reason to fight for something. It’s nice to acknowledge that some people’s motivation is self-preservation.

—That red vest Hook wore during Bae’s backstory was gorgeous. Actually, his clothes as a whole aren’t entirely atrocious.

—With other types of story being used in OUAT (such as Dr. Frankenstein) there should be a least one ballet story. Technically, Sleeping Beauty has been a ballet, but that doesn’t really count. Giselle, maybe?

—*sigh* now I’m never going to see more of Red or Dr. Hopper!

—At least the portal in the middle of the ocean looked cool. Which it did, by the way. Water tunnels are iconic.

—The Shadows in Neverland are very Kingdom Hearts. (Which, by the way, is a masterpiece of storytelling in itself. 10/10.)

—I disagree with Hook. Rumplestiltskin having a wardrobe change *is* a good use of our time. Getting to see him without his Dark One makeup, but wearing the Dark One clothes, is quite the experience.

—Regina’s blue jacket really stands out against the oceanscape. I mean, I like most of her fairytale clothes better than her “real” world clothes, but her jackets are nice.

—Yes! Tamara and Owen really just got bumped off right from the start. Outstanding.

—So they’re really sticking with the whole malevolent Peter Pan thing. Brilliant. It’s about time somebody figured out what a creepy bastard he can be.

—On the other hand, how am I supposed to take this kid seriously? He’s been set up well, with everybody talking about how terrifying he is, but now I need some action to back that all up.

—Vengeful granddad is a good look for Rump.

—I hope Bae keeps that stick to fight with. Also, he should get some fairytale clothes.

—Darn, Prince Philip is back. Well, at least we might get to explore how that happened eventually. It’ll be a fun adventure if nothing else.

—That storm was epic. Way to reinforce how scary Neverland is.

—It would be cool if Ariel was one of these mermaids. Not that I actually think she will be, because she’s one of the Princesses, but it would still be awesome. It would be so much more interesting if she loved a human when she’s supposed to kill them, than what OG!Ariel’s story is. (That girl is just so whiny. I mean, I could write essays about Ariel, both her good parts and her bad parts, but I think she comes out as a general dislike for me.)

—Okay, Robin, come on. If you move into a guy’s house because he’s been cursed out of the world, why would you trash it? Does he like living in filth? Couldn’t he be bothered to dust once in a while…like, once a year even?

—I’m glad they’ve finally acknowledged how weird it is for Emma’s parents to be her age. But I do feel sorry for them, they’re trying their best.

—My feelings about Hook have gone from “he’s so stupid” *annoyed* to “he’s so stupid” *fond*. I don’t even know what happened.

—Maybe it’s his soft spot for Bae. I mean, I still don’t buy that he loved Mila as much as he claims/believes he did, but the fact that he seems willing to care for a person outside of romance is important to me.

—Hook and Rump killing their feud for the sake of this quest is also important to me. Both of them have been rather uncompromising in the past, particularly when it comes to holding grudges, but now they’ve dropped it all because this is more important.

—I love seeing Charming with a sword again. I much prefer that to his guns.

—Emma doing pull-ups in the Jolly Roger (what a fun name!) reminded me of something I really like about her. Unlike Elsa, Anna, Rapunzel, etc., it’s plausible that Emma can pull off the physical feats that she does. She trains. Her background is a job that required her to be athletic and capable. It makes sense that she can do all the jumping and the running and the dragon-slaying (even though I disapprove of any and all dragon-oriented violence). Emma is a much more realistic person than many Disney ladies are.

—This stuff with Henry intrigues me. He’s the culmination of both the brightest and the darkest bloodlines in the fairytale world. If he develops magical abilities, that could be an interesting plot point.

—Although, having two very angry moms with magical powers makes him one of the scariest people in OUAT canon, so…anything else might just make him OP.

—I hope they go back to Storybrooke eventually, because I’ve become rather fond of it. And of the other characters who show up there.

—I love watching the actors’ names roll by at the beginning of each episode. I specifically look for Ginnifer Goodwin and Robert Carlyle—Ginnifer because I love her as Judy Hopps, and Robert because I love him as Rumplestiltskin. Seeing their names just makes me happy.

#once upon a time #ouat #belle #mr. gold #rumbelle #rumplestiltskin #neverland #grumpy #Captain Hook #baelfire #regina mills #Peter Pan #Henry #the charmings #prince Philip charming #bye Storybrooke #you will be missed #martianbugsbunny reviews

5 notes · View notes

eri-blogs-life · 1 year

Text

Continuing my FE:Engage one-random-character-gets-sacrificed-at-the-start-of-each-chapter run.

Chapter 4: Get Celine (mage), Chloe (pegasus rider), and Louis (knight), on top of our existing army of Alfred (cavalier), Etie (archer), and Boucheron (axe fighter). Random sacrifice is gonna be... Louis. RIP defensive knight-man, your sacrifice to RNGesus shall grant us blessings through the rest of the campaign.

No regular losses during the battle, and we ended up with everyone at levels 5-6

Chapter 5: No new recruits at the start of this chapter, so of the 5 remaining members our sacrifice this time is... Boucheron. Not a huge loss from a tactical standpoint. He hit hard last chapter, but axe fighters just don’t hold up too well with their low to-hit

Chapter went well, everyone’s at levels 7-8 now. Also, we picked up a Seraph robe in that chapter... I think the easy out would be just using stat up items on Alear since Alear can never be sacrificed, but... think for the sake of the challenge run we have to exclusively use them on other characters. Chloe could use some extra HP, probs. We’ll give it to her.

Paralogue 1: So, in terms of Paralogues, I think I’m only going to do the two that get you extra recruits, so that’s Paralogue 1 and 2. We’re going into Paralogue 1 with Alfred, Celine, Etie, and Chloe, and random number generator says the one dying here is... Chloe.

...

RIGHT after I gave her the Seraph Robe. Oof.

But we now have Jean! Jean’s a cool unit, hopefully he does well by us. Nice to have a stave-user again. He’s level 2 now, everyone else is level 8-9

Chapter 6: Start the chapter gaining best girl Yunaka! Now to roll for who we sacrifice...

... fuck. It’s Yunaka. Well, goodbye wife from another timeline, you will be missed.

Actually, just double checked it. The failure conditions for this fight are Alear OR Yunaka dying, so I’m gonna say I have to reroll. Out of the other four, the sacrifice is gonna be... Jean. Just went through the paralogue to get him and now he’s gone, oh well. I mean for what it’s worth, he is the lowest-leveled member of the team, so his sacrifice doesn’t mean a ton from a mechanical perspective.

Paralogue 2: We’re gonna get Anna this chapter! But not until the middle of the chapter, so let’s see who we sacrifice now... RIP Etie, you were serving as a pretty fucking efficient assassin-type character early on, your loss will be tragic.

Anna starts at a lower level than the rest of the party is, but we were able to get her up to 6, and everyone else is at 9-10 right now. AND we were able to pick up a Master Seal, so Alear is gonna get promoted into her Divine Dragon class since she just hit level 10. From this point out, the goal will be that any unit that hits level 10 in a base class should get a Master Seal ASAP, even if that means wasting money on buying seals for characters who might just get sacrificed in the next chapter.

So far the run’s going alright, no major hurdles. There were a few worrying situations where Anna almost died that last map, but mostly this has just been a game of playing with fewer characters on each map than normal. A big point I’ve been trying to do is just make sure I get all possible experience in each map and keep everyone close to the same level, cause you never know who might be sacrificed next.

Also, some maps have proven tricky in terms of timing - some maps in the game add things like thieves to far-away treasure chests that you really have to rush to stop. That’s not too big a problem in a regular playthrough with a full party, but with the fewer team members we have here, we’re definitely having a harder time pushing across a whole map to get to those thieves in time. Still did it in every chapter so far, but it’s just making me have to think a lot harder about optimizing my moves without putting anyone in too much danger.

It’s been reasonably fun as a challenge run so far, I’m into it.

#eri blogs games #fire emblem #fire emblem engage

0 notes

lovelycleon · 3 years

Text

So I decided to make an analysis about the last scene of Infinite Darkness

But before I start with the fun part, I just want to tell you that my history with “angst ships”

I had a bad experience with another ship, soul mates full of angst tropes and true love, beautiful... and a really bad ending because the showrunner fought with the actors (I wasted years watching and I regret it).

Anyway, after suffering that kind of pain, no other ships and angst scenes can hit me hard enough. I'm numb or just got used to it. You choose.

So maybe the scene of Leon and Claire's argument wasn't that impactful for me because of that. But for all the fans who felt hurt, I understand and it's okay to feel that way, because the scene was meant to hurt. The scene exists because of that. And your feelings are valid.

So let's get to the fun part.

spoiler alert, it's not that fun, it actually hurts 😅

The scene starts with Leon going to meet Claire at the gates of the White House.

I don't think anyone denies the fact that, whatever Leon is doing, he just wants to protect Claire. And he doesn't want her involved because of it.

But this dialogue makes this even more evident if we analyze how it begins.

Nothing in a show or movie is by accident. Everything is handpicked for one reason or another. The meaning is not always that deep, but there is still a meaning behind it all.

So when – of all the ways a conversation can be started – they decide to make Claire joke that she sneaked out of the hospital, Leon takes it seriously and she has to clarify that it's a joke, there's a reason:

Show that Leon is taking what happened to her too serious, and Claire not that much.

When Claire makes a comment about when he's going to stop treating her like a kid and he says probably never. There's a reason:

Show that Leon wants to protect her (or being overprotective) and Claire doesn't like it.

Of course, some might argue that this specific line is capcom trying to show that their feelings aren't romantic and sink the ship completely. And, ok, people are free to think that.

But if they really wanted to sink cleon forever, they shouldn't have done the scene of Leon saving Claire the way they did. They did it because they knew it would tease a certain part of the fans... They knew exactly what they were doing...

And there's simply no reason to tease a ship you want to sink.

So no, I don't think that's it...

For me the scene means the classic and simple: "stop being worried about me🙄" "noooo🗣️"

Another way to intensify Leon being overprotective is Claire's broken arm. A reminder that she was injured following his plan. Just as she was hurt the last time they saw each other in Harvardville.

And yes, I know Degeneration made Claire hurt to take her out of the action. It is undeniable. But somehow I don't think the same situation and reason applies to Infinite darkness.

Because Claire was already out of combat, following Leon's plan and showing no intention of doing anything different. It's not like she's going to attack the monster that is several platforms higher than where she is. She couldn't fly around and there were no guns where she was anyway.

So why hurt her to get her out of combat if the story itself has already done that?

Again, you are free to think differently. Capcom made Claire dirty, she was underestimated and they wasted her potential. I won't argue with that, I'm also on the team Claire deserves better.

I just don't think it fits this specific situation.

The injured arm is there and a awkward conversation about Leon being overprotective starts because of it. I think it makes sense.

So moving on.

Claire mentions the chip and Leon looks disappointed for a moment and says he thought they were going to dinner.

This is to indicate that he didn't come to see her with the intention of breaking their friendship. Leon just wanted to spend a good time with her and nothing more. Some place a little more normal, maybe?👀

But Claire wants the chip and tells Leon her plan. The same plan that Shen May was killed trying to convince her partner to follow. Is there a parallel here?

The only difference is that Jason broke her neck while Leon decided to break Claire's heart.

Okay now I could show more parallels between them, but I won't because this is already too long and I know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Resident Evil isn't that deep most of the time 😂

Anyway, Claire asked for the chip and Leon said no.

And that's the point, right.

The climax of the conversation and the turning point in their relationship.

Note that Leon took a few seconds to say he couldn't. That was the moment when he made his decision...

He went to meet her for dinner, remember? He didn't expect to have this conversation or make a decision like that. But he had to.

Now, I'm not from the US and I don't trust politicians in general, fiction or not. But I admit this sounds realistic.

Just imagine if the president makes a speech about peace and prosperity and whatever and the next day the media reveals that members of the government are involved in BOW and planning an attack on another country.

At the very least, it won't look good.

In the worst case, it will be a catastrophe 😂

So... I don't agree with Leon, but I understand why he chose this.

It's an important decision, however. And how long it takes him to say something and how he's quiet after saying it shows he knows what's on the line. Not just the security of the country and “peace”, but also his relationship with Claire.

And despite everything... He didn't lie to her.

It would be much easier for Leon to simply say "the chip was destroyed in the fight" when she asked. Claire would never know about it and probably never doubt him. And they would still be fine with each other and having dinner.

But he didn't lie. Why?

Because their relationship is not based on lies. And it's not based on betrayals.

And while it may be hard to believe right now and it hurts to think about it, this relationship is still based on truth and trust in each other. And now their relationship is being tested.

It's easy to trust someone you're on good terms. How hard it must be to trust someone who has let you down.

There is a lot of room for development here.

Obviously Claire felt hurt in this moment. Maybe even betrayed. Heartbroken. I think we all feel that same way.

But Leon played fair there. He said he had the chip, showed it to her, and then said he wouldn't give it to her.

He was honest with her. And this act also shows respect.

They are two people with different points of view and that truth hurts.

There is silence as they look at each other. She never asked his reasons and he obviously never told them. The exchange of glances is enough for them to understand what was happening.

When Claire says “you do things your way and I do mine” it's almost like “do you know what that means? ”

Then Leon nods and another moment of silence. The time they need to accept that the relationship is broken.

Now that's angst

Interesting choice of camera angle. Showing her broken arm as a visual reminder of why he was pushing her away like that.

Claire leaves, but looks back and says again that his outfit doesn't suit him.

What's interesting here is that the director has done a few interviews over the past few weeks and he always said that the suit is a representation of Leon's position in government.

Claire commenting that it doesn't suit him is basically the writers/producers/directors admitting that this position doesn't look good.

And while all the characters praising Leon for his success, Claire is the one who sees this reality and who he truly is out of the suit (position)

And that's good angst.

Claire walks away and Leon with a sad look watching her leave and he has to say to himself "I will stop this".

Could it be just one of his one-lines? Yes.

Could it be a way for him to remind himself why he's doing this, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with Claire?

It's already done, now he has to make it worth it.

Whatever happens after that is a mystery.

I don't think Claire believes that Leon is going to cover up the government's involvement in things (their discussion would be much more intense if that were the case), she probably thinks he's going to resolve it internally without taking anything public, which is precisely what she wants to do.

I also don't think Leon believes Claire is going to give up on the investigation, he probably thinks it's going to take some time to her to get real evidence and he has time to carry out his plans.

But this is capcom... They are masters of forgetting plot points. So who knows.

Angst is only good if it has a good closure. I hope they keep that in mind.

In any other tv show that used this kind of angst trope and drama I would be completely fine...

I would expect a sequel to this plot. The characters find each other unexpectedly, having to work together and acting awkwardly because they don't know how to stick around each other after the argument. Then the story would develop and they would gradually mend their relationship.

That's the trope.

So that's all I can hope for.

#cleon #this just got too long and l didn't write half of my thought 😅#I only watch the show once but I've seen this scene a thousand times #I'll probably have more to say after rewatching everything again #leon kennedy #claire redfield #resident evil infinite darkness #leon x claire #claire x leon

379 notes · View notes

myrfing · 2 years

Text

Venat (coalescing)

ON THE SUBJECT OF HER POWER BEING STASIS it’s also cool to me how they executed the concept of “it’s not which you wield, but how you use it”. Her power represents stagnancy and constancy and death and yet she used it to sunder the world into the constantly changing form it would take, binding the aether in order to grant its peoples a connection to dynamis, the most chaotic form of energy in the universe. All while herself becoming something close to the force of nature called stasis in which the stars could anchor themselves upon, enabling its continued existence as a world that constantly fights against it like a ship in a tide. While Zodiark represents chaos and change and life, and the ancients wanted to apply that to the unchanging thing they knew best: controllable, predictable aether, to keep it growing in its greatest capacity, in order to attempt to keep the world as was, unchanging forever (ALSO THESE THEMES/SYMBOLS ARE REFLECTED IN THE FIGHT MECHANICS I hope someone more eloquent than me talks about this because I found that a very cool touch). It’s also cool how this is why both hydaelyn and zodiark create the rules that granted the star protection from meteion’s influence; we know that hydaelyn was summoned with much less sacrificed than zodiark, and her victory over him despite that is because she was also created to exist alongside him while he was always created with the impossible as his ultimate goal.

ANOTHER THING think Venat changes a lot when she herself meets you and experiences the final days. because after meeting you she was not alone in the eons she would spend as hydaelyn. as she says when you meet her, she has no clue why she would make a contingency plan to have the people of the star run for it instead of fighting. But after experiencing all of that, it’s like…the entire moon arc…IT’S LIKE the scene where Feo Ul says to you hey how about you just run. I’ll give you the power to just stop fighting and run from everything if you’d like. Like oh it’s wicked but…the entirety of the moonship is about that sentiment. From one hero to another like “I’ve already sundered the world and tried my best and you have already lived all these lives and tried yours if you want to just run after all this then, okay.” You’d be giving up the shards, you’d be destroying countless ways of life and leaving behind so many things that make the world worth loving to live in la la land with the bunnies in a surreal approximation of everything you cherished, drifting in the cosmos for god knows where, but in the end, after meeting you, she just wants you to live. even if just for a little longer.

And while the pacing of that arc is a little odd it’s also funny how that may have been the point. Like it means something that most people went there and were like DUDE THE WORLD IS ENDING WE HAVE TO DO STUFF WE’RE WASTING TIME & the loporrits are just like no wait wtf just run away. the offer was not only made but nearly shoved on you and…just like how it wasn’t even a question before, it was never really an option now. I think that’s why for me personally I can never pretend to want to drag my feet or that my wol suffers unduly and sacrifices too much for their duty because like. literally what else would we do. this is just as natural as living. everyone else goes through it too, and it’s because the wol has so much and has experienced so much joy that it is not a question. I had so much fun playing this game, I like the world so much. did something else ever come to mind in any serious capacity. graha voice why not you.

& I remember that post where it went like “heroes will always put their duty above you and thats why villains are more intimate etc” but in the case of xiv, it’s always the heroes who offer each other a way out without judgement while the villains carried on their “involate duty” to the end without regard for how it might hurt them and the people they care about. the fellow “heroes” are the ones that always understand what you carry and understand that the biggest reason all of us do anything “heroic” is because of “I care about and love this person, these people”. it’s so gentle and schweet and human

#ffxiv #6.0 spoilers

42 notes · View notes

haik-choo · 4 years

Text

karasuno first years out late w/ their s/o

request: Could you write how 1st years (yachi too pls🥺) going out with their s/o late at night ?

a/n: this is such a cute little concept i --

[KARASUNO FIRST YEARS OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH THEIR S/O]

-tsukishima, kageyama, yamaguchi, hinata, yachi

tsukishima kei.

not gonna lie, he’s often awake late at night. he’s a night owl and doesn’t mind sacrificing his sleep to watch some youtube videos

occasionally, he even goes out late at night, slipping past his parents and brother’s room and softly closing the front door with his headphones covering his ears and his hands stuffed in his pockets

so when you text him at 3am and ask if he can go out with you to the convenience store, he agrees in seconds to meet you at the halfway point between your houses

wastes no time in putting on his sneakers and a hoodie; he wants to get there quickly so that you aren’t left out by yourself

tsukishima knows there’s creeps out there, which is exactly why he jogs to the halfway point and is relieved when he’s the first one there

as soon as he sees you in the distance he fast walks to catch up to you, and slips his hand into yours

he totally brings bluetooth earbuds so that you two can listen to the same music instead of his wired headphones <3 uwu

is always on the lookout for any weirdos, and if he spots someone eyeing you up he shoots them the nastiest glare

eventually wraps his arms around your shoulder while your hand is sitll in his and its that cute little thing where your arms is across your chest holding his hand </3

pays for whatever you get at the store, ignores your complaints and tells you to shut up when you continue to insist on paying

“im trying to be a good boyfriend for once, for the love of god PLEASE shut up”

secretly takes a candid photo of you at some point in the night and sets it as his home screen -- NOT his lock screen, and when you see it he outright denies having taken it

tsukishima: you told me to take a picture of you

you: stop lying i know you’re a closet hopeless romantic

convinces you to stop at the park and eat the snacks you both got there, music still humming in your ears as the moonlight washes you both in cool tones

tsukishima when he’s alone with you is so soft -- he literally kisses your hand and temple and mutters very softly “love you”

all in all, tsukishima kei is the perfect night-owl boyfriend to go on snack-runs with

kageyama tobio.

"why would i go out right now. do you know what time it is. i have practice in the morning”

kags really out here kinda hurtin’ your feelin’s ngl boy doesn’t understand the vibes LOL

honestly you probably woke him up, he’s asleep at like ten every night (even tho he still has homework to do he just flat-out ignores it LOL)

only agrees to go out walking with you because you said he could bring his volleyball and you’d toss a few for him....and also because he’s a little worried because it’s so dark out

doesn’t walk with you to the park but meets you there LOL

he deadass has his wholeass duffel bad with the ball, two waterbottles, two towelettes, volleyball sneakers and everything

“you know,,,,we’re not playing a game, right, tobio?”

“yeah???? and??? what’s your point”

acts nonchalant but is totally having fun and is lowkey glad you asked him to go out so late because it’s cool out, there’s no one to bother him, and you just look...really good under the stars

he’s not a cheesy person but...god you just take his breath away sometimes. not that he’ll ever say that though

you ask to take a break like thirty minutes in because you are LITERALLY dying meanwhile he hasn’t even broken a sweat (”you’re already tired? maybe you should workout more” “shut UP kageyama”)

you both sit on the bench, and you’re lowkey waiting for him to reach for your hand but they’re just folded in his lap as he stares out in the nothingness of night

kageyama can’t take a hint. we know this. he’s incapable of knowing what you want unless you flat out tell him; so you have to be a very honest person

he doesn’t even really initiate skinship, not because he doesn’t want to, but just because it never really crosses his mind

plus he doesn’t feel the need to constantly show affection because he thinks it’s obvious that he likes you

despite this, he is good at spotting weird people, and he’s pretty protective of you, so you’re completely safe with him. trust him, he’ll keep you safe

all in all, have patience and stamina because kags will play volleyball with you until you pass out. also, he loves you

yamaguchi tadashi.

is in bed by 11pm but doesn’t actually go to sleep until two am because he’s scrolling through tiktok on his phone

sees your text about wanting to go out for a late night walk and maybe go through the little forest near your house and automatically sends a text that says “ill meet you at your window! can you pack some snacks? :)”

he walks all the way to your house, even if it’s more convenient to meet halfway because he wants to protect you! he’s not the strongest nor is he the most intimidating, so all he really has to offer is his presence

despite not being strong nor scary, yams literally has eagle eye. you can’t tell me that he can’t read people in a heartbeat -- he’s extremely perceptive

also texts you to not bring a jacket because he’s bringing on of his own for you !!! so sweet what the hell

he waits at your front door and when you step out he automatically pushes his volleyball jacket into your hands and he takes the bag of snacks from you and sticks out one of his hands UGH such a gentleman

lets you ramble about anything and stares at your side profile as he listens

joins in with a few quips here and there but ultimately is pretty quite and lets you speak or lets the silence cozy into the conversation

sees that there’s a guy sitting on a bench up the road and he switches places with you so that you’re further away from the stranger

also wraps a protective hand around your waist until you both are past the random dude but yams will glance behind yall every once in a while

when you two reach the mini forest he ends up taking the lead claiming that he knows a good spot

and damn, he’s right

it’s a little clearing that is illuminated solely by the moonlight and he sets the bag of snacks down beside him before sitting down himself, apologizing for not bringing a blanket that you two could sit on

pats the spot next to him so that you sit right beside him and he leans back with his hand on yours ONGMIRG

is the super cheesy type and tells you that you look really pretty and that,,,he kind of wants to kiss you

you: *experiencing heart palpitations* and you did this for what.

yamaguchi: ...because i love you?

you: *K.O*

all in all, yamaguchi is the boyfriend that completely indulges your late-night escapades <3

hinata shoyo.

is either completely fast asleep and doesn’t see your text or was awake and not planning to sleep for the next five hours, no in-between

but if he’s awake and sees your text, he agrees right away and asks where you want to meet up and what time because homeboy probably has to bike to get there AgAGAGAGA

literally doesn’t even show up in sneakers. he’s wearing sandals and shorts with a short sleeve top

“i came in my pjs”

“i see that.”

asks if you two can bike around instead because he doesn’t want to have to wheel his bike around for like an hour

he tells you to hold on tight because the bike was built for one person, and when you press against his back his warmth is literally so,,,comforting

has no sense of awareness and will scream going down a hill in the middle of a neighborhood, no fucks given

so, no, he doesn’t notice any weriod people even if there are some around

you always end up running into some weird people and you get new interesting stories every other day because let’s be honest hinata is a magnet for crazy shit and crazy people (usually crackheads)

you both just ride around as he talks about his day, usually his sister always comes up in the conversation( “she asked me to marry you the other day” “doirhgAEROIHFGRE SHOYO WHAT” “what? i told her i would. i keep my promises!”)

after like thirty minutes he begs for a break and you stop at a little 24/7 ice cream store that is run by the sweetest elderly couple

you share a sundae because you don’t want to eat too much this late at night

he plops on the bench right outside the store with his bike leaning against the metal handles, and h snuggles up to you and watches you scroll on your phone

he talks a little here and there, but for the most part, he goes quiet, and it’s during this time where you’re unaware of his gaze that he just takes his time drinking in your features in the yellow light of the lamppost

he can’t read the mood most times, but this time he does, and he stays quiet, and he thinks to himself

that he really will marry you one day

all in all, hinata gives you the impulsive young teenage experience of late night bike rides while eating his fair share of ice cream

yachi hitoka.

another either or, except this time she’s either fast asleep or stressing over homework and the nine tests she has the next day

when you ask if she can go on a walk with you she’s hesitant because she doesn’t want to get in trouble with her mom and she’s a total goody goody and terrified of doing anything reckless; but then she remembers that her mom was on a business trip and so she, very cautiously, says yes

you: good. i’m outside your door btw

yachi: i never had a choice did i

you have to meet her at her house because she’s way too scared to walk by herself at night; she might even make you factime her as you commute because she’s worried for you

jumps at every little thing, even the crows cawing make her shit herself

instictively grabs onto your sleeve and nervously look around the entire time, to the point where she doesn’t hear what you say

so you offer to go to a little cafe that’s still open and right away she nods

she’s so adorable, she bows really deeply when you two walk into the store and apologizes for it being so late

and finally, because you two are safe, she’s calm and smiling as she sips at her strawberry smoothie

awkwardly and very shyly reaches out for your hand on the table and gently lays her palm on yours

canon: yachi totally has freckles and you can’t convince me otherwise

her face is red and her freckles are just on display you can’t help but coo at her and tuck some hair behind her ear because god could she get any cuter?

you two end up staying for like a hour and a half and very shyly she asks if you could walk her home

and this time on the walk she’s not overly cautious and seems to enjoy the nighttime breeze and your hand softly clasping hers

does that cute thing where she lays her head on your shoulder or arm while you both are walking and looks up at you through her eyelashes and asks if you could give her a kiss on the cheek </3

you: stop. please. im going to die.

when you’re at her door she literally just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before tilting her head upwards and pressing her lips to yours and then promptly running inside

video calls you three seconds afterwards to make sure you get home safely

all in all, you might need to be the impulsive one, but yachi enjoys spending late night time with you more than she admits. also please kiss her thanks

2K notes · View notes

magnetic-rose · 3 years

Text

Why Spones is a top-tier ship

AKA “the inherent homoeroticism of annoying the shit out of your co-worker.”

Spock and McCoy have a complicated relationship. A lot of their bickering and ideological differences lead fans to believe that they hate each other, but that’s an over-simplification of the truth. The reality is that Spock and McCoy are extremely close friends who care about each other deeply. Though sometimes their bickering turns serious during stressful situations, for the most time they seem to enjoy the banter. A common mischaracterization of their relationship seems to put McCoy as the bully and Spock as the victim. In truth, there are many times where Spock will say something specifically to get a rise out of McCoy. They fight. That’s how they show affection, not disdain. In fact, one could argue that some of their bantering have a flirtatious tone to it.

Kirk: Mister Spock, regaining eyesight would be an emotional experience for most. You, I assume, felt nothing.

Spock: On the contrary Captain. I had a very strong reaction. My first sight was the face of Doctor McCoy bending over me.

McCoy: ‘Tis a pity brief blindness didn’t increase your appreciation for beauty, Spock. (Operation -- Annihilate!)

Spock is a half-Vulcan, half-Human who has mostly chosen to follow his Vulcan heritage. As such, he is a being of almost pure logic. The truth about Vulcans are that they are secretly beings who feel things very deeply and intensely, and they feel the need to keep a tight lid on their emotions as to not succumb to them. McCoy, on the other hand, is a regular human. He’s a deeply emotional man who cares about others. One could argue that McCoy is almost too empathetic, as he lets his emotions rule him. Spock and McCoy are polar opposites; the brain and the heart, the logic and the emotion, the super-ego and the id.

Despite these differences, the two men are similar in a lot of ways. They’re both men of science, men of peace, and they both care very deeply for their Captain. They’re both self-sacrificing morons, to the chagrin of the other. Spock will prioritize McCoy’s life even when both of them know it’s not the logical choice to do so. Likewise, McCoy will take a hit for Spock even when they both know the Vulcan is stronger and better equipped to deal with pain than the doctor.

Spock: (In the middle of a blizzard) In this severe cold, we cannot survive much longer.

McCoy: Leave me here, Spock.

Spock: We go together or not at all.

McCoy: Don’t be a fool. My hands and face are frostbitten. I can’t feel my feet. Alone, you have a chance. Now do what I say. Go try to find Jim.

Spock: We go together! (All of Yesterdays)

In the episode, “The Empath,” Kirk, Spock and McCoy have to choose someone to be offered as sacrifice to be tortured by a group of aliens. Kirk obviously volunteers, but gets put to sleep by McCoy with a tranquilizer. Spock then states that he’ll offer himself up, as he has the higher chance of surviving the torture. McCoy then proceeds to sedate Spock as well, and sacrifices himself to be tortured by the aliens.

Spock: While the captain is asleep, I am in command. When the Vians return, I shall go with them.

McCoy: You mean, if I hadn't given him that shot

Spock: Precisely. The choice would have been the captain's. Now it is mine.

(McCoy turns away. Spock sits to carry on working. Gem puts her hand on Spock's shoulder, and smiles. McCoy comes up behind him and gives him an injection.)

Spock: Your action is highly unethical. My decision stands. (Spock falls asleep next to Kirk.)

McCoy: Not this time, Spock.

Underneath all the fighting and disagreements, there is a deep caring between Spock and McCoy that manifests itself into protectiveness towards each other. In “All of Yesterdays,” Spock is constantly showing concern for McCoy after he almost died of hypothermia. In aftermath of McCoy’s torture in “The Empath,” Spock is seen hovering over his body and caressing his face, worry written into his features. On the other hand, while McCoy constantly makes fun of Spock for his lack of emotions, he’s also highly aware of the Vulcan’s mental state and protective of it when others threaten to shatter his resilience.

McCoy: He's a Vulcan. You can't force emotion out of him.

Philana: You must be joking, Doctor.

McCoy: You'll destroy him.

Parmen: We can't let him die laughing, can we?

McCoy: (Watching as Spock starts to cry) I beg you! (Plato’s Stepchildren)

The episode “Amok Time” also demonstrates McCoy’s perceptiveness of Spock and Spock’s true feelings of friendship towards McCoy. McCoy is in fact the first person to notice that something is wrong with Spock:

McCoy: Oh, captain. Got a minute? It's Spock. Have you noticed anything strange about him?

Kirk: No, nothing in particular. Why ?

McCoy: Well, it's nothing I can pinpoint without an examination, but he's become increasingly restive. If he were not a Vulcan, I'd almost say nervous. And for another thing, he's avoiding food. I checked and he hasn't eaten at all in three days.

Kirk: That just sounds like Mister Spock in one of his contemplative phases.

Kirk doesn’t notice anything wrong with Spock, and initially dismisses McCoy’s concern, but McCoy immediately picked up on Spock’s mental turmoil. Despite his cantankerousness, McCoy not only cares about Spock but goes out of his way to look out for his mental state. Part of it might be because he’s his doctor, but how many doctors go so far as to monitor someone’s eating habits because they notice that person’s suddenly being fidgety? On Spock’s end, when it comes time for him to beam down to Vulcan to complete his marriage ceremony, he specifically asks for McCoy to be there:

Spock: By tradition, the male is accompanied by his closest friends.

Kirk: Thank you, Mister Spock.

Spock: I also request McCoy accompany me.

McCoy: I shall be honoured, sir.

One episode I find extremely fascinating in terms of McCoy/Spock moments is “Mirror, Mirror.” In this famous episode, half of the Enterprise crew get transported into an alternate universe dubbed The Mirror Verse, in which evil versions of the characters exist and terrorize space as a fearsome military force. McCoy is part of the team that gets transported in the Mirror Verse, while Spock stays in their regular universe. Mirror Spock immediately realizes that half of the crew, including Kirk and McCoy, are acting strangely. When he corners Kirk to question him, he does so by threatening McCoy: “I shall not waste time with you. You’re too inflexible, too disciplined, once you’ve made up your mind. But Doctor McCoy has a plenitude of human weaknesses, sentimental, soft. You may not tell me what I want to know, but he will.” This Spock seems to have a intimate knowledge of McCoy’s mind. When the party decides to attack Mirror Spock, he fights all of them except for Uhura and McCoy, who he simply pushes out of harm’s way.

When Mirror Spock gets hurt as the crew is trying to escape back to their own universe, McCoy is suddenly unable to leave his side. Kirk allows him to stay to nurse Spock back to health, and McCoy risks almost staying in the Mirror Verse forever for him. When Mirror Spock awakes, he backs McCoy into a wall and initiates a forced mind meld onto the doctor. The next scene has Mirror Spock holding a disoriented McCoy up and bringing him back to his crew; he now understands what is happening and he wants his regular crew back, and thus he allows Kirk and company to make the switch back to their own universe.

Other Star Trek properties have gone more in depth on how a forced mind meld can be extremely traumatizing on the person receiving it. Star Trek: Enterprise has an entire story arc dedicated to the Vulcan T’Pol trying to heal from a forced mind meld. Unfortunately, because the nature of TOS episodes were episodic, we never got the chance to explore the emotional fallout of McCoy’s forced mind meld and how that might have affected his relationship with Spock. The franchise also never went in depth on Mirror McCoy outside of what Mirror Spock speaks of him, since Mirror McCoy died of xenopolycythemia in 2269.

Closing the list of evidence of Spock and McCoy’s affections towards each other are the Star Trek movies “The Wrath of Khan” and “The Search for Spock.” Towards the end of Wrath of Khan, Spock sacrifices himself to save The Enterprise in one of the franchises most heart-wrenching scenes. Moments before his sacrifice, he knocks McCoy unconscious, touches his face and whispers “remember.” What happened in this scene was that Spock, knowing he was about to die, transferred his Katra to McCoy. The katra being the Vulcan equivalent of a soul. This speaks to the amount of trust that Spock has in McCoy. For someone who keeps most of his emotions under a tight lid, it’s a huge gesture to entrust another with the essence of their entire being. The next movie, The Search for Spock, is a journey as the Enterprise crew fight to return to Vulcan so they can reunite Spock with his body. When they finally arrive, the Vulcans warn McCoy that the process is extremely dangerous and could even result in his death. McCoy calmly replies that he “chooses the danger.” He cannot fathom living his life without Spock.

McCoy: (Speaking to Spock) I'm going to tell you something that I... I never thought I'd hear myself say...But it seems I've missed you. I don't know if I could stand to lose you again.

So in conclusion, Spock and McCoy have a rich and complex relationship that is much more than simply just “they dislike each other because they bicker a lot.” Their bickering is more akin to that of an old married couple. There are plenty of examples not even included in this post of how deeply they care for each other. Despite their ideological differences, they balance each other out quite nicely. McCoy is finely attuned to Spock’s emotions, arguably better than anyone else on the ship. Spock in turn is protective and gentle with McCoy. Once you stop looking at their interactions solely on the surface level, you’ll be able to see the tenderness and years of love and friendship between them. This is why I think Spock/McCoy is one of the most underrated and misunderstood relationships of TOS. Don’t let the constant arguing fool you into believing these two dummies don’t adore each other.

Shout-out to Tempest for their extremely lengthy ship manifesto on Spones called “Spiced Peaches,” which goes even more in depth on why Spones is a great couple. Using their manifesto as a reference was key to remembering Spock/McCoy moments. Also shout-out to the site chakoteya for having full transcripts of TOS episodes, so I could easily find quotes for this. If you’ve come this far, thanks for reading!

#star trek #tos #leonard mccoy #spock #spones #this was... a lot

240 notes · View notes

lunawritingspaceoxoxxx · 3 years

Text

Unresponsive

Damiano David

“You know I’m never too busy for you, amore, just because I’m in the studio doesn’t mean I’m not missing you.”

“Jennie, I know...I know, it’s just that I thought that we were going to spend time together when I landed in Rome, just the two of us. Not bar hopping until 3 am and sleeping in until noon.” Sighing as you looked through your luggage. “You’re dating a rockstar, Y/N, what do you expect? Roses and midnight stroll, they’re going to continue to drink until the morning. That’s what I faced when I was still dating him, just be open with him, what’s the worst that could happen?” “Jennie, Damiano is different from your shitty ex. He’s like the sun, people gravitate towards him and they can’t get enough of him. Why can't I get just a slice of that?” Glancing towards a mirror, seeing your exhausted eyes looking back at you. “Y/N, if you’re insecure about this, why stay with him? It wasn’t like this before you came to Rome.” “Jennie, you can do me a big favor and shut the fuck up, we’ve been dating for almost two years now. It’s different when it’s a long distance relationship. This is my first relationship, I'm going to have my fears and concerns.” Y/N ended the call, tossing your phone to the side, flopping onto the bed.

“Amore, good morning for once.” Speaking of the devil, He strutted through your hotel room, tackling you onto the bed as he peppered kisses across your soft skin. Y/N’s giggles filled the room as your previous mood melted away. “So we did filming early today, so we could spend some time together tonight.” Damiano said, pushing a cup of coffee in your hands. You gingerly took a sip of the overly sweet caffeine as you raised your eyebrow at him. “Seriously? No bar hopping tonight?” Damiano shook his head as he stripped out of his shirt and shoes, fully getting comfortable. “Why did you ask that? Did you want to go bar hopping instead?” You shook your head, frowning slightly as you glanced at your suitcase. “I really didn’t bring going out to dinner clothes at all, mostly shorts and tank tops. I thought you were too busy to spare some time for us.” You laid on his chest, tracing small circles onto his abdomen, enjoying this small time together. “You know I’m never too busy for you, amore, just because I’m in the studio doesn’t mean I’m not missing you.” Y/N stayed silent, holding back your tongue; you didn’t want to cause problems on your month-long vacation. You just wanted to spend any time together without fighting about petty small issues. Damiano gave you a knowing look as he sat up, facing you. “Something’s bothering you, lay it on me, tell me everything that’s been bothering you,

“Damiano, when you invited me here, I thought we were going to spend time together and show me hidden parts of Rome, but now I spent almost two weeks getting drunk and sleeping in, I could’ve done that at home. I could’ve been working on my art right now, but I'm here drinking lukewarm coffee to nurse my hangover and your version of spending time together getting wasted in my hotel room, am I wrong?” You crossed your arms and Damiano rolled his eyes, sitting up. “You could’ve been grateful that I’m inviting you out and bringing you along with my friends. I had to beg them to allow me to invite you along because according to them, you’re just an annoying little American who’s spoiled and cries about what you didn’t get.” Your eyes widened, bottom lip trembling as you tried not to cry in front of him. “And you know what, leave then and I’ll go back home. I’ll send back all of your gifts and clothes, if that’s how you really feel about me then and I won’t bother you with my presence anymore.” You began tossing random articles of clothing into your suitcase, trying not to show any emotions. You wouldn’t give Damiano that satisfaction of your heart breaking into a million pieces right in front of his eyes. “Amore..Don’t be like that, you know that I didn’t mean it..c’mere…” You shrugged off his attempted hugs, while you walked around and gathered your belongings. Your biggest fears came true, that he didn’t love you the way you did and you were a placeholder, until he found something better than you. “No, I don’t, you’re so closed off from me that I’ve just come to terms with it. I’m going to go and take a walk, to get out of this...room and when I get back, you better be gone or I’ll call the authorities and it won’t be fun after that.” You threatened before you slammed the door. You rushed through the lobby, ignoring the stares, cursing as you looked back. “Damiano! Leave me alone! I want nothing to do with you!” He chased after you, ignoring the growing attention on you two. “Amore-” “I’m not your love anymore! I’m done with you, this trip only brought out the true nature of yourself, you don’t want to put any effort in a relationship and you let it become toxic, so you can thrive off of your partner’s misery.” You shouted, jabbing him the chest as you finally let go of the tears, openly sobbing in the lobby. You were hurting from putting effort into something so toxic for you, made you question yourself. “And I can't do this anymore, for the sake of myself.” Damiano tried reaching for you, but you moved from his grasp, hurt flashes across his eyes. “...I stayed in this relationship because I love you, I’m sorry for saying those cruel words. I didn’t mean those and I shouldn't have said anything like that, you’re the light of my life-” You rolled your eyes absolutely done with his sugar coated lies. “Damiano, you told me that six months ago, we argued about this before, I told you that we were done if you spoke out of line with me and look, it happened again.”

Damiano sighed as he knew you were right, you really never voiced your frustrations until you knew you were at breaking point. “I know I fucked up, but what can I do to make this better? I would do anything for you and you know this.” “I just want some time alone, to focus on myself and figure out what I want. I don’t think that I could deal with this on top of your daily nonsense.” Paparazzi stepped into the lobby, making you flinch as they took hundreds of pictures. “Let’s go back up to your room and we can discuss this, basta con le foto(stop with the photos).” He faced the paparazzi, cursing underneath his breath as he tried pulling you into the elevator, but you kept resisting until you slipped from his grasp and made your way onto the busy street. You knew you were being dramatic, but catering for someone and their needs was mentally draining especially if you’ve been sacrificing yours in the process. “Y/N! Wait!” You stopped, doing a full 360 as you came face to face with Vic. You kept pushing yourself as you duck between alleyways, cursing yourself in the process. You’re in a strange country, hundreds and thousands of miles away from home and you feel like you’ve broken up with your boyfriend and decided to make a fool of yourself. You wheezed as you looked around the plaza, before you just accepted your fate as you walked past the couples and children. You sighed as you flopped down onto the fountain's edge, rubbing your face. You sniffed as you broke down, sobbing as you finally just had enough of everything.

You knew what you getting into, but you thought that you could look past all of the bad because Damiano was so exciting and always gave you a rush of adrenaline as they did scandalous things, but you could tell that he had the experience that you didn't have and that worried you to the point where it affected your sleep. You decided to explore the city, not wanting to stay in one place. You always wanted to travel the world and focus on your art, you felt at peace when you were in your studio and that love slowly faded as your relationship with Damiano started to take a turn. He was the one who pushed you to pursue this outlandish dream of yours and that started to become a reality when commissions started coming in and those same commissions were able to pay for this trip. “Congratulations, Y/N, you’re going to go home early and cry into that Ben & Jerry’s that you left for yourself.” The sun slowly went down as time went on, you decided to walk back to your hotel as you booked yourself a ticket back home.

“Damiano, what happened today? Y/N is all-” He interrupted her with the wave of his hand, not wanting to get into everything.“It’s my fault, Vic, I knew I wasn’t treating her right and I brought her all the way here to get drunk and sleep in until noon. They knew that as well and called me out on it and now, they’re off somewhere.” Vic frowned at his current state, knowing the next couple of weeks are going to be rough. “Damiano, it’s okay, they’re probably going to come around sooner than later, they’ve dealt with you for this long. Why would they give up now?” Vic had a point, Y/N had dealt with his bullshit for so long and he thought that he was safe to do anything and everything, but this was before this trip, before they facetimed and wrote letters, everything was...different. Damiano didn’t have them closeby and ready to do anything with him, he went through the motions of his lifestyle and from the band’s perspective, Y/N seemed dramatic, but they’ve only seen the scandals of him getting into trouble. They’ve been there for his lows and highs, yet, he couldn’t say the same for them. “They are….they were so fed up and tired of my bullshit and they’re going home, I don’t know when though.” Vic narrowed her eyes, shaking her head as she couldn’t comprehend why he was here and not with them. “So you’re giving up then? You’ve worked through this before, why is it different than before? Do you not want to put any effort into the relationship?”

When Y/N wanted out, they would do anything to do so. They leaned against the wall of their boarding area as they tried staying up, being mentally drained can affect your entire body. They tapped away on their phone as they replied to messages and concerns, planning their next collection piece. To Y/N L/N…. Their eyes got wide as they read through the invitation multiple times, trying to make sure that this was legit. They didn’t care if this was a smaller, unknown art museum that wanted to showcase unseen artwork. They knew that it couldn’t be anything, it had to be personal and true to them. They pulled out a random napkin, doodling some ideas down as they waited. ‘Damiano would’ve been proud of me…’ They thought as they quickly stuffed the napkin in their pocket. Were they really going to do this? Running away after one bad fight, maybe he was right, that they were overdramatic and needy. They wiped their eyes before they mentally prepared themselves before gathering their things and got ready to depart. Maybe this will be good for us, time away and focusing on ourselves…

#damiano david x reader #maneskin x reader #maneskin

50 notes · View notes

kob131 · 3 years

Text

Morgan Le Fay (Alter Ego) My Room Lines

Morgause

“Master~ Can we stay here please? A moment’s rest may bring you far after all!”

“Ah, you really like to work don’t you? No no, I’m not accusing you of anything. I know your drive after all...”

“No matter what, it doesn’t seem I’ll get use to fighting. I wonder if either of those two would-ah. nevermind!”

Bond 1 “...Oh, sorry Master! I was spacing out there for a moment. I’m...not really use to being...heh, nevermind me!”

Bond 2 “Your magecraft seems a little shaky lately. Are you sure you’re feeling well? You eating well? Maybe a nice plate of meat and potatoes will make you feel better? ...Wh-what do you mean that’s too heavy?!”

Bond 3 “How strange. I’m still here. Usually I can’t remember where I’ve been or how I got where I am because...because...

...Well anyway, I can’t say it’s bad after all. I’d certainly be worried if one moment I was here with you and the next you left my sight. That-that can get rather scary...”

Bond 4 “... ... ... I can still feel them inside me, you know? ‘The Lady of The Lake’ and ‘The Fairy Witch’. My...other selves.

... Why? Why? WHY? Why do they have to exist? Why are they inside me? It’s not fair! I lost so much to them! So much of my life- Take, STOLEN from me by them! And even worst, they took my home away! I’m Morgause Pendragon, the daughter of Uther Pendragon! I am human! Not a fae! Not a witch! I. Am. HUMAN, ME!

So why can’t they just leave me alone?!”

Bond 5 “... I won’t be here for long. Even if this body were to see the end of your journey, I-I might not be the one in it. I was the first to fade away after all. It’s simply my fate...to be used and discarded by everything I love.

...Even so, I won’t run. As weak as I maybe in comparison to them...I won’t surrender a second of my time with you. With anyone. I’m here now. I am me.”

To Gawain “My son...my darling son. P-please don’t turn away! Please. I-I lost so much time with you. I can’t-I have to. Please, come embrace your mother. Before I’m gone.”

To Gareth “Gareth...my little pup. Look at you, you’ve grown up so much. I bet you had the lords at your beck and call. ... I wish I could have been there for you.”

To Agravain “Oh Agravain. It hurts to see you look at me so. And yet, it’s all my fault. If only I were stronger, if only I could overcome them. My little knight...I’m sorry.”

To Arturia “Arthur-no, Arturia isn’t it? To think I felt so bitter about what our father wanted...when there was so much to lose to that envy. I...I shall take my leave.”

To Mordred “Master, that knight over there?? That...wouldn’t happen to be Sir Mordred correct? ... Yes I assumed so, given her glares at me. Le Fay’s child with my own brother...There’s nothing I can do to help her, is there?”

To Morgan (Lostbelt) “You there, the witch. You have quite the nerve to show your face here. You, who abandoned her humanity for the sake of a kingdom. Your kingdom was a shame and deserved it’s fate. Glare at me all you wish, without the three of us you would be nothing.”

Likes “What do I like? Well, I always liked cooking. It was always such a treat to see my children’s faces light up when I cooked with all my heart!”

Dislikes “...Lake fae and evil witches.”

Holy Grail “Even if it is a heresy, I would like to wish upon it. Then maybe, I can finally be free.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vivian

“Master, come. We have much to do still. ...I know you must be tired, I understand your weariness. But still, we must persist.”

“There’s no need to worry about me. An adventure like this-it is a simple matter. Compared to guiding those troublesome fae...”

“Quiet, quiet, quiet. ...Sorry Master, I was...having some difficulties with...the others. Le Fay especially...”

Bond 1 “So, you have stayed by my side? How strange, most humans simply leave the lakeside after so long.”

Bond 2 “Your heart is weary. There is no point in lying. I know that feeling well myself. Perhaps I have been pushing you too hard. Come, rest. All need reprieve after all.”

Bond 3 “It seems my time has not come yet. Good. I cannot-I will not fade like before. I refuse to let things end like before.”

Bond 4 “It is so tiring. To have their thoughts, their minds inside me. Always, always a reminder. That I am more than the fae ‘Vivian’. The human princess and the raging witch-

...No. No. NO! I am here now! I will be the one to fight! I will be the one to guard the Human Order! I will be the one protect the Age of Man that Father wished for! Not the human Morgause! Not the witch Le Fay!

I am Me, Vivian, The Lady of the Lake!”

Bond 5 “Even though I am the fae Vivian, an existence incompatible with mankind. It was always the humans I loved most of all. The fae, so fickle and cruel. I guided and guarded them out of duty alone.

Why you may ask? Because it was mankind that my father Uther loved. He protected them to his last breath. And so shall I. Even if I may never see the Age of Man, I will protect and guide it. Especially you, my Master. I shall ensure your safety to death and beyond.”

To Lancelot (Berserker) “Master! Th-that figure cloaked in black! I-it can’t be! My son! This is what became of you? ... Who did this?”

To Lancelot (Saber) “I knew it. Of course my son would be here. There was no chance he wouldn’t answer the call to protect mankind. He grew into a splendid knight after all.”

To Mash “This feeling... You there, young lady with the shield. Come forward, let me take a good look. ...It really is, isn’t it? Don’t be scared young lady. I shall never hurt you. Now, come with me. I have much to discuss with you.”

To Fae Servants “*Sigh* It seems there are some troublemakers in this place isn’t there? Worry not Master, I know how to keep them on a tight leash.”

To Morgan (Lostbelt) “Ruler of the fae, huh? How pathetic. To have resorted to such evil. I do not care what your excuses are. I lead and guarded the fae myself. I sacrificed my place in the world. I expect no less of you.”

To Arturia (Archer) “How cute, thinking that little spruit is alike to my magic. Here, let me show you what a true Excalibur Vivian can accomplish.”

Likes “Besides mankind? ...I do enjoy watching the forest creatures prance about. The little bugs especially.”

Dislike “Lazy princesses and malevolent witches. That is all I’ll say.”

Holy Grail “It is a false wish granting device isn’t it? Still, if supplied with enough mana, it might just be enough to grant my wish To gain my freedom.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morgan Le Fay

“Careful now, Master. One wrong step and things will certainly go wrong. I know how much fun it is to lose yourself in the throes of battle. Hehehe...But your goal must come first.”

“That fire...that determination. Very well, I’ll join you in the fray. After all, I haven’t nearly indulged enough myself.”

“Your magecraft is rather lackluster isn’t it? Hm, whatever you call your ‘talents’, that doesn’t matter. Practice, practice, practice. Experience breeds excellence. I didn’t match Merlin with pure talent after all.”

Bond 1 “I must say, staying this way at will without being subject to the fickle whims fate...it’s rather nice. Thanks Master.”

Bond 2 “Fate is cruel. I know your pain better than most. Forced into the impossible by the will of others. But don’t let your heart waver. Through will and guile, you will gain your freedom.”

Bond 3 “Don’t hesitate to give me tasks. I find myself with more time than i know what to do with. Preferably with you around...”

Bond 4 “I’m sure you’ve heard about this before but...My other selves are still here. Deep inside, I can still here them. Their woes, their uncertainty, their hatred. All mine...

...Bwahaha! What a joke! As if I would let them trend upon me. It was my loathing that struck fear into Camelot. It was my malice that twisted the Green Knight. It was my love for Britian that allowed me to stomach sharing a bed with that liar. I am no feeble princess or passive fae. I am me, Morgan, the witch that loved Britian!”

Bond 5 “So here we stand still. I’m sure you caught on but I hate the Age of Man. Tearing away all the work I put out, fading everything I’ve done into legend. Acting as though I was never here. For it’s sins, I will always spur it.

So why am I here? Because I would rather have an Age of Man with Britian than not. Be it the destruction of history or man, I will not stand for it. I will rage and hate and burn until all is done. So long as we stand on the same ground, I will be here. I can’t trust the other two to get the job done after all.”

To Mordred “Hm, that defect of a homonculus is here? Master, you are best off sending it away. It’s incapable of following orders or performing tasks sufficiently. I would love to fix it but that’s beyond my reach.”

To Arturia (Alter) “Tch, that liar dares to attach my name to something so weak. She preaches that the strong rule over the weak, shall I teach her who is truly strong then? Gwahaha!”

To Merlin “Ah, Teacher is here too. How unusual, that fickle asshole couldn’t be asked to cut a blade of grass, let alone save humanity. He’s not even really here is he?”

To Fairy Knight Tristan “Master, this annoying brat won’t leave me alone. Acting all familiar and friendly with me... Maybe I’ll teach her what it means to truly be sadistic. Perhaps by rending her limbs asunder...”

To Arturia “So the King of Liars has come as well. Maybe a trip into Hell will teach her the place where she belongs...but that will have to wait, won’t it? She still has her uses after all...”

To Oberon-Vortigern “That mana. Another embodiment of Britian is here?! It feels like that failure Vortigern...yet...it’s so different. I must dissect him, to know!”

To Morgan (Lostbelt) “Ah yes, that other me. Heh, what a fool she turned out to be, no? She rages against man, fae and knights, wasting all her efforts in the process. Focus, my dear. Focus is the key to victory. I did not waste my time with man or fae, I put my all into the slaying of Arturia. And which of us succeeded, hm?”

Likes “A rough night with a man below me, of course.”

Dislikes “My other selves. Unlike them, I will not hide the truth.”

Holy Grail “Hm, I have no need for such a thing. Unlike them, I will not cling to a false hope. It will be my hand that cuts them out like the parasites they are.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bond 10 CE: I Am...?

One minute *I’m* home with my children One minute ^I’m^ guarding those troublesome fae One minute -I’m- cackling as I tear into his flesh

The next I’m not.

It is my duty to *lead*/^guard^/-destroy- my kin No, That is *my*/^my^/-my- duty. No, it’s *mine*/^mine^/-mine-!

...Is it?

No, I am a *princess*/^guardian^/-witch-! That is not what *I*/^I^/-I- am! Stop it! This is who *I*/^I^/-I- am!

I am *me*/^me^/-me-! I am *Me*/^Me^/-Me-! I AM *ME*/^ME^/-ME-!

I am... I...am... I...

....Who am I?

#fate series #fate grand order

21 notes · View notes

corseque · 4 years

Note

Since you played those three’s routes, which one would you suggest if someone wanted the most the thematic ties, without romancing Solas? Blackwall’s feels the most obvious to me, but I’d love your thoughts. Also, how would you rank those romances personally?

BLACKWALL yeah BUT ALSO IRON BULL? And CULLEN too actually?

They’re all so related it’s wild. All 4 are monster husband romances.

Bear = Blackwall

Lion = Cullen

Dragon = Iron Bull

Wolf = Solas

In different ways, moral monsters with regrets who are trying to change their life, or are failing to do so. All of them are about the identity of the character, and who they want to be or decide to become. Names, and names changing. Titles and roles in society. Deception and shame.

Hissrad/Iron Bull, becoming tal-vashoth

Blackwall/Rainier, the concept of a “good man”

Cullen as a Templar or a free man

Solas (obvious)

Failure to live up to their promises or their responsibilities to their roles, and generally stories about weakness or faltering

Iron Bull and his responsibility to the Qun but also his men

Blackwall and his responsibility to his men

Cullen and his responsibility to the Inquisition

Solas and his responsibility to the people

About finding faith or strength or trust in those outside themselves

Iron Bull’s shift from the Qun to the Chargers

Blackwall’s shift to the Grey Wardens or the Inquisition

Cullen’s shift from the Templars to the Inquisition

solas’ failure to do this :’(

All of them are about these men trying to transform and heal after experiencing incredible trauma that just breaks you

Blackwall’s deep moral injury, having to live with yourself afterward

Solas’ indescribably deep moral injury that even Cole can barely catch the edges of, it’s so big and horrible

Iron Bull’s deep moral injury, when he lost himself fighting the Fog Warriors, and the tension dividing himself from his people

Cullen’s deep trauma after the Circle collapsed in DAO and Kirkwall collapsed in DA2, and the moral injury of how he contributed to what happened to the mages in Kirkwall, recognizing that and wanting to do better than Meredith

And actually, Bull, Blackwall and Solas in the game fully talk to each other and judge each other and relate and help each other process their traumas because they have such closely related experiences. It makes me so sad that Solas deeply projects onto the others negatively but at the same time is particularly good at helping and comforting the others over these moral injuries. I put their (spoiler) banter under a cut at the end, for reference to show they really do talk to each other about their traumas, and compare themselves to each other. I kind of wish Cullen could have had banters with them too.

As for ranking them, I think they’re all very good. Solasmance is bestmance lol

Blackwall: You haven't said much to me since... well, you know.

Solas: There is little to say. I assumed we were alike. We'd seen war, knew its terrible costs, but understood that it was necessary. But there was nothing necessary in what you did. You did not survive death and destruction. You sowed them. To feed your own desires.

Blackwall: I know that. I see it every time I look in a mirror. I try to make up for it.

Solas: By wearing another skin. You ran away rather than face what you had done. You wasted your time.

Solas: I wish to apologize for what I said to you, Blackwall.

Blackwall: You were right, though. I deserved it.

Solas: My people had a saying long ago - "The healer has the bloodiest hands." You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. You cannot heal pain by hiding it. You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better. You have taken the first step. That is the hardest part.

Solas: So, you and the Inquisitor are together.

Blackwall: Yes. Is that a problem?

Solas: Far from it. People should seize any chance for a moment's respite in times such as these. I am glad you've allowed yourself some happiness.

Blackwall: I expected you to think that I should keep punishing myself.

Solas: I would be concerned if you forgot your past, but that seems unlikely. Beyond that, guilt is a distraction. One we can ill afford.

Blackwall: What of you, then? Have you found someone to share a moment's respite?

Solas: I find my peace elsewhere.

Blackwall: You sacrificed your own men.

Iron Bull: I'm Qunari. We don't flinch from duty.

Blackwall: Your men trusted you. You betrayed that trust when you left them to die.

Iron Bull: No.

Blackwall: No?

Iron Bull: Two key differences between you and me, Rainier.

Iron Bull: First, I didn't kill a wagon full of kids.

Iron Bull: My men were holding a position to secure an objective. I mourn their loss and honor their sacrifice.

Iron Bull: And second, I'm proud of who I am. I hope that's not a problem for you.

Blackwall: Not unless you ask me to hold a hill, Qunari.

Blackwall: So, Bull, how does it feel to be Tal-Vashoth?

Iron Bull: Feels a bit like I've been living a lie, and now it's coming back to bite me in the ass. What's that like, Blackwall?

Blackwall: Calm down, I meant no offense.

Blackwall: As you say, I know something of being cut off from a past life, having to find a new way.

Iron Bull: Well, you could've just led with that.

Blackwall: In any event, you have the Chargers. You haven't lost everything.

Iron Bull: Yeah, I think I'm good.

Iron Bull: Now, isn't this better? Getting the burden of that lie off your chest?

Blackwall: And exchanging it for the burden of everyone hating me? Yes. So much better.

Iron Bull: Hey, I don’t hate you. You and me? We’re good.

Iron Bull: Now that you know who you are, you can stop doubting yourself and start hitting crap again.

Blackwall: Why don't we hit a few bottles first, huh?

Solas: You fought the Tal-Vashoth for a long time, Iron Bull, did you not?

Iron Bull: Every day.

Iron Bull: I'd kill some of them, they'd kill some of my guys, and then I'd kill them some more.

Solas: No man can kill so many people without breaking inside. To survive... those you fight must become monsters.

Iron Bull: The ones that kill innocent people, yeah. The rest... I don't know.

Solas: The mind does marvelous things to protect itself.

Iron Bull: Nice job in that last fight, Solas. You really kicked the crap outta that guy.

Solas: I suppose.

Iron Bull: What, you don't think so? You ripped him a new one. It was great!

Solas: Unless the fight is personal, violence is a means to an end. It isn't appropriate to celebrate.

Iron Bull: I don't know. Gotta wonder about anyone who fights as much as we do and doesn't have some fun with it.

Solas: We have fought living men, with loves and families, and all that they might have been is gone.

Iron Bull: Yeah, but they were assholes!

Iron Bull: So, you going to let me have it, Solas? Or do I get to wait and wonder.

Solas: What do you mean?

Iron Bull: We've got the alliance with my people. Given how much you love the Qun, I figured...

Solas: I might scold you? Berate you for your decisions?

Iron Bull: Hey. The Chargers died as heroes for the good of the mission.

Solas: I never said otherwise.

Solas: The truth is, Iron Bull, you are Qunari. I cannot be disappointed in your decisions.

Solas: As a mindless, soulless drone, you could never make any.

Solas: You are not Tal-Vashoth, Iron Bull, not really.

Iron Bull: Well that's a fuckin' relief.

Solas: You are no beast, snapping under the stress of the Qun's harsh discipline.

Solas: You are a man who made a choice... possibly the first of your life.

Iron Bull: I've always liked fighting. What if I turn savage, like the other Tal-Vashoth?

Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor... and you have me.

Iron Bull: Thanks, Solas.

#Dragon Age #Inquisition spoilers #monster romance #SO MUCH MONSTER ROMANCE #Solas #Iron Bull #Cullen Rutherford #Blackwall #I love romance #these are so good #Anonymous

221 notes · View notes

akampana · 3 years

Note

Oh, oh, how about a Gil vampire lord and arty famous vampire hunter in a eternal rivalry for no.1, kinda Hellsing and dracula rivalry but with a twist

“I couldn’t live with myself, if I didn’t tell you.” Gilgamesh x Arturia Vampire x Hunter. Enjoy!

_______

Three bullets.

Two knives.

One vampire.

Arturia Pendragon clicked the cylinders back into place and brought her weapons up to her chin, the warmth of her breath misting the polished barrel. She was the only thing in this accursed mansion that had any sense of heat, as everything inside was either unlit, inanimate, or dead.

The small hunter cursed the winter. There wasn’t a poorer season for killing vampires than one that was as dark and cold as the night creatures’ hearts. However, she could wait no longer. For generations, her family had pursued the blood-sucking fiends, hoping to one day cease the plague that had haunted their lands. At last, it could come to an end. There would be no need for her little brother to learn to handle a gun as well.

All she had to do was put Gilgamesh to rest.

A sudden movement from the right had her fingers on the triggers, but it was an effort wasted. There was nothing but the creak of wood and a curtain dancing in the cold breeze. However, she was not too quick to drop her guard. The vampire she hunted tonight was older than time and just as wise. Tricks like this were not beyond him. It made his hunts more interesting, she bet.

"There you are, my love."

...

Too slow!

The Pendragon ducked to the floor just in time to hear his palm smash through the stone brick behind her. Aiming her revolvers, she sprang up like a gymnast, twisting midair to face the hellspawn.

Silver shot out of her gun, but she already knew it would miss. Vampires were quite the agile creatures, having shed their human limits in exchange for their souls. Even if Gilgamesh looked mortal like herself, the way he sidestepped fire at such a short distance clearly suggested otherwise.

The soles of her boots screeched against the floor as she secured her landing by chucking the revolver at her opponent. Empty guns were useless in fights that required all her attention, but thankfully, this one had extra utility against creatures of the night.

When a high pitched squeak more suited to a frightened pig passed her old rival's lips, she knew she'd made a successful play.

"A silver-barrelled gun? Ha! And here I believed you had exhausted all your options," the older one smirked, the skin of his hands hissing from the contact. "That must have cost your family the entire treasury, my dearest Arturia. Who did this once belong to, hm? Was it your father's? Grandfather's? Great-grandfather's?"

Arturia grimaced as she snatched one of her knives from her heel.

"Killing your kind brings quite the fortune,” she answered, as per their usual simultaneous verbal bouts. “I can buy a hundred more with the price on your head, Gilgamesh."

She spun the blade round her fingers to provoke him, stopping in a backhand grip.

"More of your distractions, girl?" he sneered, just a hint of irritation breaking through his haughty mask. "It will take more than parlor tricks to fell the likes of me!"

Arturia lunged like a fencer, weaving through his usual jabs till she nicked his skin, lamenting how terribly shallow the cut was. As her breaths began to labor, her eyes flickered to the hallway, debating whether or not she could make a break for it. There was no outmatching a vampire in a direct dance to death, but she’d already made that play. Gilgamesh was not going to let her go a second time-

A sharp hiss was the woman’s only warning before his hands seized her throat.

No!

Desperately, she fired the gun at his knee, but all it did was have him bruise her skull on the floor instead of the wall, flinging her around like she weighed nothing.

The woman kicked and thrashed, but for all her effort, all she managed was a slash to his face before he rid her of her knife. Black spots began to cloud her vision, but Arturia took aim even as her lungs began to burn.

She had one bullet. One final attempt to make sure no Pendragon would ever have to take up the craft again. She had to spare poor Arthur. Only six and already being taught how to wield a knife. Igraine was already planning to take him out to hunt foxes. Arthur loved foxes. God. She had to make this one shot. Just this last one. For his sake. Please.

It didn’t take Gilgamesh any effort to bat her gun away.

Arturia’s emerald eyes locked with those of her assailant’s. Her whole life, she’d trained for this day, only to still come up short. It didn’t matter, the thousands that had fallen to her technique. She was still no match for him, not even after all this time.

Her nails clawed into the skin of his knuckles as Gilgamesh dipped down toward her shoulder, no doubt preparing to sink his teeth into her jugular.

Was this how she was going to meet her end? So close to finally ridding the continent of every vampire there was? So close to liberating her brother, her entire clan, from cruel deaths at the hands of the immortals? Why, after all she’d sacrificed, after giving up her life to become a hunter, did she have to fail at her mission’s most crucial moment?

Tears fell from her eyes as she shut them tight, refusing her last glimpse of life to be the eerily perfect face of the undead.

His teeth scraped against her skin. A final torture before he drained the life out of her.

Arturia braced herself for the bite, her head screaming apologies to every person she was letting down. Igraine, her late father, her cousins, Arthur.

But it never came.

“You have done well, my queen,” whispered the old creature, his cold lips brushing against her neck. Arturia gasped for air, hacking and coughing beneath him, a million questions running through her mind. He quieted them all with his thumb on her bottom lip, freezing Arturia where she lay.

“I have endured several of your lifetimes. Each, more passionless than the last. I thought myself fortunate at first, able to experience every pleasure the world had to offer, but a thousand years can make even the sweetest fruit seem vile.”

A flicker of irritation crossed his sharp, eternal features, but it was quickly replaced by something Arturia had never seen before. The emotion swelled within his vibrant ruby irises, which glowed even through a night as dark as this one.

“Eventually, I saw this ‘gift’ for what it truly was: a curse, bestowed upon me by that loathsome snake an eternity ago,” he voiced cryptically, knowing this beautiful little girl would likely never grasp just how long he’d walked this earth.

The Pendragon stared up at him with those fiery irises he’d been fond of since the first time he beheld them.

It was exactly twenty years since the day she first came here. Fifteen years old, a mere child, yet one that possessed the gall to challenge him to a duel. He spared her that day, and she went on to challenge every single creature in the continent that had been turned, coming back every now and then for another shot at his head.

Arturia wasn’t anything like those that shared her last name. Her clan was stiff. Traditional. She took their knowledge, but did not stop there, taking various forms of study to hone her craft. She'd been to Ireland to study their methods. To France to understand alchemy. Three years ago, she nearly killed him with near-invisible wire she acquired from the east. Before that, it was a sword of fire. Today, apparently, she’d gotten dexterous enough dual wielding either guns or knives, when she hadn’t that skill prior.

Ever since they met, his days were full of excitement, anticipation for the day she’d return. Suddenly, he was always on his toes, rising at the first sign of night to prepare for her next arrival. His hunts were no longer mechanical, for he knew now that he and she were bound to cross paths. Where would she see him next? On a hike into the mountains? In summer, when the days were long? Maybe even at the local ball? There were so many possibilities!

About a decade into their arrangement, Gilgamesh realized he was feeling something he hadn’t felt in eons.

He felt alive.

But like most living things, he knew Arturia had a limit. And before she reached it, before his fun could be taken away once more, he knew he had to do this. What better time than now, when he had the opportunity to caress her cheek for the first time?

“However, despite how I’ve loathed my own longevity, I never want our duels to end,” he admitted, memorizing her face, counting her freckles, brushing his thumb against lips he didn’t dare kiss for fear of imparting his curse.

“You, wicked woman, have made this soulless being crave a soul, if only to meet you once more beyond the grave.”

Minutes passed in silence as Arturia registered his confession. The night did not conceal her expressions from him. Not the fear, the anger, the confusion. He witnessed the exact moment of her realization, felt her heartbeat quicken, saw the heat rise to her cheeks. At last, she understood why she lay under him and had not yet fallen victim to his fangs.

“Why are you telling me this?” she asked calmly, her voice strained, but clear. “Why now?”

“I have desired to do so for half a decade, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you...and I cannot die without you knowing that you are treasured beyond belief.”

Slowly, he reached for her ankle, where he knew she’d hidden her last knife. It burned his flesh as he grasped the hilt, rejecting the impurity of his being, but he persisted anyway, rejoicing in the sensation. This would be one of the final times he’d experience it.

“Wh...what are you doing?” she asked as he pulled her up to face him, placing the dagger in her grip and clasping his hands around hers. Even presented with the opportunity, it was no longer killing intent that resided within her eyes, only conflict.

“Without an end to one’s existence, love, the delights of what you call ‘life’ have no meaning,” he explained, moving her arms so that the blade’s tip rested just above his heart. “Therefore, Arturia Pendragon, I ask that your worthy hands grant me mine.”

He’d expected his death to be immediate, to happen as soon as he loosened his hold. Gilgamesh knew better than anybody what Arturia had at stake and who she was protecting. Hell, he was excited just contemplating what kind of life she’d lead, now that she’d been liberated of her family’s burden.

But now, when her goal was right in front of her, she hesitated.

For what seemed like a better eternity, Gilgamesh watched her stare into his exhausted red eyes, like she was engraving their intimidating splendor into her memory.

“Thank you.”

His death couldn’t have been sweeter.

#thank you for the ask #i hope you liked it!#gilart #gilturia #gilgamesh #archer #caster #arturia #arturia pendragon #artoria pendragon #artoria #saber #fate fanfiction

15 notes · View notes

zeppelin-and-unicorns · 3 years

Text

Fanfic recommendations part two: Stories that take place during season 8 (canon divergence)

This is a smaller category than the previous one, but I promise that those stories are amazing. I’ve read and reread every single one of them, and I love them all with all of my heart. I hope this post is useful to you. Lots of love ❤️

(And yes, they are in alphabetical order. I wish I’ve done that with the post season 8 post too, but it’s up for a while now and it would be just too much work to edit the whole thing)

All These Things That I’ve Done by c00kiefic

Story based on the sexual tension between Jackie and Hyde during season 8.

This story is complete.

26k words, 9 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Don’t Stand so Close to Me by c00kiefic

A story when Eric came back way earlier than he planned to because his friends were being dumbasses and needed some direction. Gotta love Eric Forman.

This story is complete and it’s a super fun read, 10/10.

95k words, 24 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, background Red/Kitty

Fear and Loathing in Wisconsin by elphabacan

What if Jackie had decided enough was enough after the slumberparty with Donna and Sam and recruited Brooke to go to Vegas? And what if turnabout is fairplay when they run afoul a charming lounge singer named Jude?

Lots and lots of love for this story. It’s amazing and it’s complete.

42k words, 15 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Brooke/Kelso

Get Away From The Edge by BlueZeppelin

Jackie has been down for a while and it leads her to the Water Tower, alone and depressed. She wants to jump but will Hyde let her?

This story is kind of sad, but it’s still good. I just wish it gave us more details. Don’t read it if you’re triggered by depressive thoughts. It’s complete.

5k words, 3 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I Think it’s a Real Waste by Jaded

In which Fez and Donna are decent friends to Jackie, and Hyde knows he fucked up. There’s a lot of J/H, but the story also focuses on all the gang. This is a really good story, please read this.

This story is complete.

120k words, 13 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Brooke/Kelso, Fez/OC

Into the Woods by c00kiefic

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess with long raven hair and enchanting eyes, whose only desire was to be loved by the handsome, yet distant prince…

I absolutely adore this story, I really, really do. It reminds me of fairytales and it makes me want to cry at the same time. Also, both Hyde and Donna get an not so pleasant “wake up call”, that they rightfully deserved btw.

This story is complete.

41k words, 10 chapters.

Rated T

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde mainly, some background Eric/Donna angst

Pain Without Love by YouLivexYouDie

This story made me cry so hard. It has a happy ending though, so it was worth it.

Jackie Burkhart is about to experience something life changing. She will never be the same afterwards, nor will the people who love her.

This story is complete.

12k words, 3 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Confession by heavinly-vixen

After the torture Hyde had been inflicting upon Jackie since the arrival of his 'wife', Jackie just needs to talk to someone who's on her side.

This story is complete and it has a sequel! It’s called Reconciliation and it’s also complete.

12k words, 9 chapters.

Rated T. The sequel is rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Made Bare by MistyMountainHop

A heartbroken Hyde considers his relationship with Jackie kaput. Too bad Jackie sees it differently. She intends to get a proper resolution with him, but breaking through his hostility — and getting past his wife — may well prove impossible.

This story is complete.

50k words, 8 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Also available on AO3

Someone To Love by Bunny1

Hyde comes back from his 3 month bender to the unexpected.

This story is complete.

6k words, 7 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Birds and The Bees by c00kiefic

Jackie’s pregnant and the father of her child is married to someone else. Amazing story, what I love the most about it is Jackie and Donna’s friendship.

This story is basically complete, the only thing missing is the epilogue.

22k words, 6 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

The Right Road Lost by zpplnchick

After a car accident, Hyde wakes up to a twisted version of reality he comes to find is actual hell and with no memory of how he got there, a hell that Jackie's been living in for the past few months. Set during Season 8, shortly after "Sweet Lady".

This story is complete.

43k words, 20 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Road to Redemption by Hyde’s Bride

Jackie leaves the group because of Hyde and Donna's behavior. Eric comes back early to find how things have changed. When he forms a new bond with Jackie, will it force Hyde and Donna to fight for them? Or will they lose their loves forever?

This story is complete.

33k words, 12 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Jackie/Eric, Eric/Donna

When The Leeve Breaks by zeppelinandunicorns

What would've happened if Jackie and Donna left Point Place when Eric moved to Africa and Hyde married a stripper?

Donna and Jackie moved to Chicago once they realized that they've sacrificed themselves enough for the sake of their relationships with Eric and Hyde. Will it be too late to fix things once the boys realize what they're missing?

This story is a WIP.

So far, 125k words, 23 chapters. This story will be 54 chapters long so... yeah.

Trigger warning: Depression, past eating disorders, child abuse

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Zen Vision by Ultrawoman

A series of one-shots turning each and every episode of the horrendous Season 8 into a happy Jackie and Hyde love affair!

This story is complete.

37k words, 22 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

One-shots during season 8:

Being Here by UnfitWriter

Set in season 8, after Sam's departure. Jackie and Hyde can't stand each other, but when something horrible happens to Hyde, Jackie will try to console him in only way she knows how.

5k words.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Here Comes Goodbye by nannygirl

Sometimes you just have to say goodbye. Or not.

5k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Red/Kitty

Reconnecting by SerenitySparrow

During the party at WB's house in season 8. Jackie and Hyde hook up in a coat closet during the party.

3k words.

Rated M. Very M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Tipping Point by janus_74 (tanner)

How a different Perfect Man list could change the end of Season 8.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

So far, this is all.

I’ll repeat this at the end of every single post: speaking as someone who writes, it would be really cool if you guys decide to leave a review (or a comment, if the story is on AO3) in the stories you read, especially the unfinished ones. It really motivates the authors, and receiving a compliment is always a mood lifter. I’ve seen some authors updating stories after years because of nice reviews, so… yeah, this is just an idea.

If you think I left out a good story, feel free to reply to this post!

Next category: Season 7 fix-its.

#jackie x hyde #jackie and hyde #fanfic rec #zenmasters #that 70s show #that '70s show #fanfic recommendations

37 notes · View notes

saphira-approves · 4 years

Text

Don’t Compare My Boy To K*l* R*n: In This Essay I Will—

okAY I’m talking about it

So I can’t find the post right now, but a few days ago I saw a post on my dash comparing Murtagh of the Inheritance Cycle to Kylo Ren of Star Wars, citing parallels for their similarities.

Since we all know this blog is really just a poorly-disguised Murtagh stan blog, I decided I’d share my thoughts on this comparison. I’ll be discussing character backgrounds, character roles, character motives, and character actions.

Part One: Character Backgrounds

Murtagh and Kylo Ren are both descendants of the “previous generation.” Their mothers were both prominent rebels, their fathers were both considered handsome and rogueish, and both sets of parents eventually separated. But that’s about where the similarities end.

Kylo Ren’s—or rather, Ben Solo’s—parents loved each other and loved their son. They may have been flawed in the way they showed it, but then again, the only account we hear of Ben’s childhood (as I recall, anyway, and I’m not rewatching those movies just for a tumblr post) is Ben’s, after he’d been groomed and manipulated by Snoke for many, many years. Han Solo died believing he was helping his son; Leia Organa died saving her son; at the very least, they both loved him enough, even while he was serving the Dark Side, to give up their lives for him.

Murtagh’s parents, on the other hand, were a mess. From Murtagh’s account of their relationship, Morzan didn’t care much about Selena except for her usefulness as a weapon; he was happy to manipulate her and her emotions, but I highly doubt he actually loved her. He certainly didn’t give a damn about Murtagh, throwing a sword at his own three-year-old son. Selena, meanwhile, although she obviously loved Morzan at first, loved Murtagh even more, and clearly recognized that Morzan didn’t care for her the way she had once cared for him—when she recognized an opportunity to work against him, she took it.

Kylo Ren despised both of his parents, but that hatred seemed hollow, shallow—it had no real reason. They led busy lives, perhaps didn’t make enough time for him, but their actions revealed that they did, truly, love him despite his mistakes, and Kylo’s loathing reveals itself to truly be the manifestation of a spoiled child’s anger, magnified tenfold. Murtagh, conversely, had very good reasons for his complicated view of his parents: he loved his mother, but she was kept from him (and him from her), and she died—possibly in front of him, though he never says, and, unbeknownst to him until much later, having just hidden his brother in Carvahall. There was no love lost between him and Morzan, who was in the best case just an angry drunk, worst case—and more likely—an abusive father, and the only thing Murtagh ever expected to receive from him as inheritance was his sword (which is by itself another whole post in the making).

Part Two: Character Roles

Both Murtagh and Kylo Ren played the role of foil to the protagonists of their stories.

Murtagh and Eragon were very similar in many ways; I’ve mentioned before the many “subtle” hints Paolini gives to their true relationship (”a pair of matched blades” and “brothers in arms” come to mind off the top of my head). Their differences clearly highlight their different upbringings: Eragon thinks in the moment, with his heart and his compassion, while Murtagh thinks ahead, makes plans and contingencies—this difference is most clearly seen when Murtagh kills Torkenbrand and Eragon's strong moral code makes him protest, even though killing the slaver was, objectively, the best course of action they could take. Yet Murtagh is not only Eragon’s foil in action, but also his foil symbolically: they are both sons of Selena, which binds them, and yet the sons of opposing fathers, which others unwittingly use to pit them against each other (yes, this is also a whole other post in the making. like i said, poorly-disguised murtagh stan blog). Murtagh’s foilness to Eragon is deeply interwoven into their friendship and their parallels, showing up in many subtle and unsubtle moments throughout the series.

Kylo Ren’s foil status, on the other hand, is… complicated in a different way. For one thing, he’s not just a foil to Rey, he’s also a foil to Finn—in fact, I’d argue he’s more foil to Finn, and more just a complete opposite to Rey. He’s the experience to Rey’s raw talent, he shifts toward the Light while Rey shifts toward the Dark, but with Finn, their stories of pulling away from the Empire could have been fantastic foil stories. Wasted opportunity. And I’m so mad about it but this isn’t a star wars blog so—

Part Three: Character Motives

Of course, both Murtagh and Kylo Ren’s motives change over the course of their own stories, so we’ll be looking at what they are and how they change.

Kylo Ren starts his story in TFA as a ruthless, power-hungry fanboy who cherry-picked his history lessons and simply ignored the fact that his oh-so-esteemed Darth Grandvader was actually redeemed in the end because Luke refused to give up on whatever scrap of good was left in him and I hate hate hate hate hate Luke’s sequel characterization UGH and so Kylo is “emulating” a false image of what he thinks Vader was: the power, the presence, the mask and modulator aesthetic, the “I’m on the Dark Side because it’s fun, and I get to do whatever I want consequence-free.” Which… no! So, at first, what does Kylo want? Power! Sure, he’s serving Palpatine’s Smeagol puppet Snoke, but eventually he’s gonna be the most powerful person in the galaxy. …well, but then eventually starts getting a little boring, so in TLJ Kylo ups his timetable, tries to get Rey on his side after torturing her for information (OF HIS OWN VOLITION! BECAUSE HE’S A JERK! He did not CARE about even trying to convince her at first, he asked the few questions necessary to justify meeting her resistance with a Force mind-rape), and then when she doesn’t join him on the Dark Side he fights her, again and again and again until he nearly DIES, and then HIS MOTHER DIES TO SAVE HIS UNGRATEFUL ASS, so now Kylo’s priorities switch from “power” to… uh… what, again? Redemption? By… how? Sacrificing his life for Rey?

Oh, now he remembers how his Darth Grandvader history lesson ended.

he’s still a copycat though

Murtagh’s motives, conversely, actually make sense for his situation. When we meet him, he has in the last few months run away from Urû’baen and lost his mentor and father-figure. His two priorities: keep himself and his horse alive, and see what the deal is with the new Dragon Rider he’s heard so much about. He meets Eragon and Saphira by saving their lives from the Ra’zac, and he’s there when Brom dies, and Eragon loses his own mentor. Having just recently gone through that pain himself, Murtagh gets attached, and joins Eragon on his adventure/vengeance quest against the Ra’zac. Murtagh doesn’t reveal his parentage, but he and Eragon find that they have a lot of similarities and get very close, sparring and bantering and becoming “a set of matched blades” and “brothers-in-arms” and other such friendly roles that are not-so-subtle hints at their true relationship, and even when they fight—notably when Murtagh doesn’t want to go to the Varden, because they might kill him, which would be actively violating his first priority of staying alive—Murtagh still agrees to help Eragon because he’s a nice f*cking person okay. And then, through shenanigans, Murtagh ends up getting kidnapped, assumed dead by his few new friends, and then

TORTURED AND MIND-RAPED FOR AT LEAST THREE OR FOUR MONTHS.

And Murtagh’s will never broke! Not until Galbatorix gave him a dragon egg, and that dragon egg hatched into Thorn, and Thorn bonded with Murtagh, and Galbatorix threatened Thorn.

Murtagh fought Galbatorix until Thorn’s well-being was put into danger.

After that, Murtagh’s priorities are skewed; he’s forcibly sworn to Galbatorix’s will, which sucks, but he’s also given fantastic power, which is great; but he and Thorn still get tortured as punishment for messing up, which also sucks. And then Nasuada, someone Murtagh actually likes, is captured and brought to Urû’baen, and Murtagh tries to hide his face behind the silver mask when Galbatorix forces him to torture Nasuada (physically, because Galbatorix never forces Murtagh to attack Nasuada’s mind) because he doesn’t want to torture his friend. In fact, he does everything in his ability to help her. And in the end, he cares about her so much that he realizes hang on a minute, I would actually put SOMEONE ELSE’S health and well-being over my own, which means something in me has fundamentally changed, WHICH MEANS I CAN DEFY GALBATORIX, and so what does he do? He gets rid of Galbatorix’s wards and lets Eragon finish him off. He gives up the Eldunarí to Eragon and Saphira, which were a huge source of his power, because in the end, he’s not a power-hungry maniac, he’s a nice person that shitty things happened to.

(And if Murtagh is a nice person that shitty things happened to, then Kylo Ren is a shitty person that nice things happened to)

Part Four: Character Actions

If you don’t believe me, then perhaps we’ll let actions speak louder than words.

Kylo Ren: In his first appearance, he orders his troops to kill an entire settlement. From there, he tortures Poe for information, obsessively pursues the protagonists who have the key to Luke’s location, becomes obsessed with Rey, who seems Force-sensitive, attempts to torture Rey the same way he tortured Poe, kills his own father even as his father apologizes and tries to help him, chases Finn and Rey (again) into a snowstorm on a planet that’s imploding in on itself because of a lightsaber; and then he’s chasing the Resistance—including his own mother—across the galaxy, killing Snoke and calling himself Supreme Leader (yeah, totally something a secret good guy would do), cornering the Resistance on Crait with the threat of DEATH. STAR. TECH. (miniaturized, but like. what’s the miniature of a planet-killer???? half a planet killer??????), and then ALLYING HIMSELF with PALPATINE (the stupid crusty meatsack didn’t even have to groom this one, he got a new apprentice for FREE), while also PLANNING TO DOUBLECROSS… PALPATINE… and continuing to chase Rey across the galaxy, trying to get her to join the Dark Side, and he only stops when his mother gives up her life to save his.

His mother… who, just recently, he THREATENED WITH DEATH STAR TECH.

All this to say, his “redemption” arc is hollow and stupid. Dying while doing “good” is not redemption, it’s a cop-out. Vader was ruthless not because he took pleasure from killing, but because it was efficient; he was redeemed because he found out he had been lied to, manipulated, used, and abused. Kylo Ren was fully aware of his situation, an abuser himself who took pleasure in his power and in killing people; and he was not redeemed by a kumbayah force-life-transfer BS or for turning on Palpatine, WHICH HE WAS PLANNING TO DO ANYWAY.

Murtagh: Helps Eragon, helps Eragon even when he could get captured or tortured or killed, helps Eragon even though he’s surrounded by people who would suffer no regret over killing him, helps Eragon even though he will get tortured for it later, helps Nasuada because he doesn’t want to torture his friend (let me repeat, he DOESN’T. WANT. to TORTURE. his FRIEND. And he even ends up sneaking into her cell, AT RISK OF PUNISHMENT WHICH WOULD INVOLVE TORTURE, to talk to her and heal at least some of her wounds, and give her a way to tell reality from illusion when Galbatorix does try to force his way into her head), helps Eragon kill Galbatorix in the final battle, helps a little girl he’s only just met and gives her an enchanted fork, because why not, and only waits to rejoin Eragon and Saphira because he recognizes his own need to heal, to take time for himself and Thorn, and later, if FWW is anything to go by, probably to redeem himself by helping people, and fighting whatever threat he’s hearing rumors about in the north. Murtagh doesn’t take pleasure in hurting people, and he goes out of his way to do good things, even at risk to himself, as much as he’d hate to admit it.

Murtagh is hardly perfect; on the one hand, I fully agree with his decision to kill Torkenbrand because what else were you gonna do with him, Eragon, but on the other, yes, he’s flawed. Notably, there’s the moment of him killing Hrothgar, which I’ve discussed, his anger issues, his potential alcohol issues, and his general tendency to put himself first (which… yes, but also, he really doesn’t). Best thing about this, though, his his enormous potential for change, because we’ve already seen him change! And it saved the whole war! One tiny thing, one small moment of self reflection and realization—he changed himself, without any outside influence except for finding someone to care about.

TL;DR Don’t insult my boy Murtagh. Come back when Kylo Ren gets some actual character development.

#started this post #had to look something up in Eragon #got sidetracked #placed a hot topic order #came back #got so fucking tired #please just. just don't compare my son to kyle #i really really hate k*l* r*n #what a dipshit. what a wasted opportunity.#everything after force awakens was a waste of brilliant character development opportunity #murtagh tornacsson #murtagh (inheritance cycle)#inheritance cycle #star wars #cw kylo ren #saph rambles #saph scribbles

82 notes · View notes

poisonheadcrabsalesman · 3 years

Text

More therapy thoughts part 1/?

Behavior Theory Frameworks/Conditioning and What the fuck does Master Chief talk about in therapy?

Ramblings below - like a lot, like I spent too much time writing this and you should not read this

Behavioral Theory could work well as a framework with rehabilitating Spartan IIs if the case worker focused on Operant Conditioning Theory and Cognitive Social Learning Theory, which I talked about in this ask because I think I’m funny and this blog is an archive of me applying human behavior theories to video games.

Spartans have always been taught the mission comes first! Always! The 2s are indoctrinated from age 6-14 and then have that reinforced the rest of their lives. From the beginning they are taught to push themselves to the limits, earn their food by winning, form bonds with teammates but be ready to sacrifice them for the mission. The whole lives wasted vs spent conversation between John and Mendez after the augmentation surgery!

What the UNSC/ONI wants comes before their lives, the lives of other soldiers, civilians, AI etc. This constant conditioning of expectations and rewards has created the norms cemented in their minds. This becomes standard operating procedure.

Spartans are also an entirely separated social group, other people have made really great posts on how they are Othered and have their own way of communicating with body language. ODSTs hate Spartans, marines see them as cyborgs or saviors, and while they’re allies, Spartans are not seen or treated as human, by literally everyone. They are a means to an end, with the original goal being to maintain the UNSC’s position of power and crush the insurrectionists in the outer colonies, but uh oh Aliens!

Maybe the 2s aren’t as expendable as the 3s but the mindset and reinforcement of “mission first, people second” being repeated their entire lives is going to stick. So is the constant mistreatment and abuse from their fellow soldiers and handlers.

Addressing the cognitive distortions that come from their upbringing while also balancing the fact that Spartans are so fundamentally different from the way they developed to survive would be so much work, especially considering how much information on them is given to their therapist. The main distortion I would apply is minimization, making large problems small and not properly dealing with them, and specifically for John, personification, accepting blame for negative events without sufficient evidence.

Like these are grown ass super soldiers who can kill you in less than a second and calculate the amount of gravity in a room on the fly but then also can flounder when trying to comfort civilians or make small talk because their experiences and values are so alien to adults who had more developmentally “normal” lives.

Literally applying therapy to Spartans would be like, what was done to you was wrong, the ends do not justify the means, you were children and the adults in your life failed to protect you. You are a human person who is fallible and did the best you could with what you had. And the Spartan would say, “sounds fake but okay, can I pass my psych eval and go back to war now please?”

Jumping back to Behavior Theory

Different approaches to therapy under the Behavior Theory umbrella help modify negative behaviors with treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical behavior therapy that teach individuals adaptive coping like emotional regulation, distress tolerance, cognitive distortions, and interpersonal communication. And that’s just one framework under the umbrella of human behavior theories.

Social work therapy is different from psych as it approaches individuals with heavily researched, evidence-based theories and frameworks in a holistic viewing of person-in-environment, instead of a strong focus on internal psychology.

Social work looks at all the interacting systems, environment, history, and internal and external factors affecting an individual. One of the most useful frameworks is the Biopsychosocial-Spiritual Frameworks (BPSS) when helping a client. It helps with identifying all the intersecting factors, both risk and protective, that shapes a client’s lived experiences. The most important thing to remember is that the individual is an expert in their own life, they know their experiences best.

The hardest part is applying this to Spartans because they Are So Fucked, their lived experiences, their environments and systems and institutions interacting with them, and the amount of their personal information that is probably so classified.

BPSS is a tool to help social workers assess individuals and their situations by collecting info that is related to the presenting issues and current and past circumstances. Info like medical history, hospitalizations, substance abuse, mental illness, personal relationships, family history and background, culture and norms, education, legal history, spirituality and participation etc. is all under this framework.

For Spartan 2s most of this info is lost or classified and helping someone who has repressed every negative emotion they've had for the sake of the mission would be so much to unpack but that’s also why you’re reading the mad ramblings over an over caffeinated nerd on the internet.

Life Course Theory which looks at developmental milestones and the individual’s experiences versus the socially expected markers, how do you apply that to children who were taken and have lived such different lives?

While early adolescence is when “normal” development of thoughts of self and identity take place alongside the physical changes of puberty, Spartans were being turned into emotionless calculating weapons. Sorry John, no forming a sense of identity and peer bonds for you, go kill that Watts guy who betrayed us and joined the insurrectionists.

And now that I’ve gone this insane and opened 2 whole textbooks up, let’s get to Master Chief thoughts. If you’ve read this far thank you, I swear I’m normal, 2020 has just been a weird year.

Why the fuck did I think I could write a therapy fic on a guy with 20 minutes of actual dialogue across almost 2 decades of games?

I make fun of him and call him a himbo, but he’s smart, he knows he’s being used and there is resentment there that’s been building for years.

There’s also decades of trauma and combat experience, physical, and emotional abuse, the lack of a support network, lack of an identity, the biological factors and aftermath of the augmentations and injuries he’s received, a whole lot of grief and self-inflicted guilt.

The loss of a third of his peer group with the augmentation surgery, Sam’s death, the loss of Reach (the only place he’s considered home), Keyes, the Pillar of Autumn crew, Miranda Keyes, Johnson, Cortana. He cares about the marines who fight with him!!!

He just stands there and takes it and rarely snaps, and even then it’s just small cracks on the surface with fissures running deep. The few details I will pull from Halo 5 are Blue Team’s reactions to John pushing himself so hard from the beginning of the game, and the literal crack in his armor from the fight with Locke. Like dude.

John’s a leader and will get the mission done but he tugs on the leash. He’s earned enough of a reputation and uses it to get his way.

Halo 2’s “Permission to leave the station” with Mr. “I’m going to hand deliver a bomb to the fusion reactor of a covenant supercarrier and hope my friends catch me”.

Halo 4 is when we see him say no to a superior officer and then 5 is him going AWOL. Palmer literally points out that no one is going to stop him.

Halo 5 kills me for many reasons but John bringing up Halsey and what she did to him and also pointing out that he knows Halo 5 Cortana is trying to manipulate him with psychological tactics hurts.

He knows what’s been done to him!

I cannot remember which book it was but John isn’t used to working alone. He literally takes fire because he was expecting someone to have his back!

He’s lost without Cortana! She was in his brain! Y’all! I played Halo Combat Evolved on the original xbox when I was like 8 and I knew these two were meant to be together. From the moment they met they had great chemistry and relied on each other! Cortana literally goes after people who have it out for John! John wants her approval and shows off for her in one of the books.

I’ve already written too much here but like all of the games have John showing off for Cortana, making dry jokes, jumping out of things he shouldn’t.

The whole point of this rambling is to try and get my thoughts about how to approach John’s character under control.

And that’s the thing. He’s lost control. He’s lost people, he’s losing his position and being phased out as an aging spartan, a relic. John’s used to following orders and making some decisions on the battlefield but it was always short term.

He has no identity beyond being a weapon. Complete the mission, clear the LZ, get put in cryo. Rinse, repeat.

The timeline of the games are what I'm most familiar with but with the comics and books too it’s one long run from Halo 2 to Halo 4. Cairo station to the Dreadnought to the crash landing to Forward Unto Dawn to Requiem to “The Didact is Dead but not really but we’ll deal with him off-screen”.

I know Hood apparently gave John R&R orders before Halo 5 that he ignored and kept running himself into the ground. This is a man who has to keep moving and keep being useful.

I imagine him giving in and seeking help as a last resort to fix any problems he has with performing his duties rather than helping himself be healthier.

Any professional he sees is going to have to approach him like they’re approaching a self sacrificing feral cat, with lunch meat and quiet. This man needs to have his support network closer, set up long term goals, and do some serious, and most likely incredibly painful, self reflection on where he’s come from and where he wants to go. Get him out of that tin can and into therapy. I don’t have a nice neat ending because this was a ramble and also therapy is not neat and tidy. Thanks for reading my words about mr halo

#this is not coherent but it needs out of my brain #John - has different characterizations based on what media he's in #Me - my writing must be in character or I Will Die #also me - we don't talk about halo 5 but i will loot its corpse for bits of lore I like #im sorry for being like this #my writing #Therapy time #John 117 #this is not a halo blog #haha this was peer reviewed nonsense #thanks yall for enabling me #i have even more ideas for the infinity sitcom folder now

46 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1289

Have you and your current/last significant other discuss your sexual histories? Well no, because we were each other’s firsts.

Have your religious beliefs stayed the same since you were a child? No. I separated myself from the one I was raised in 13 years ago.

Are you named after someone? Part of the inspiration came from the Swedish singer, yes; but for the most part my name was purely my dad’s choice.

Who do you need to forgive? Nobody. I don’t go that route.

What is one thing you admire about each of your parents? My dad has sacrificed a lot - most especially time with us - precisely to give us what we need and want. My mom has never seen anything as a barrier and would go through anything to be able to do what she has to do.

Describe a time when you were touched by someone’s kindness or compassion. I was surrounded with so much kindness yesterday - Angela and Hans paid for lunch even though I tried handing over my money; Bea offered to treat me at the coffee shop we went to and made me pick whatever I wanted off the menu (I ultimately declined); and a warm stranger held open the elevator doors for me, made nice small talk during the ride and kindly said his goodbyes when we parted ways.

What do you consider a relationship dealbreaker? I honestly don’t know how to answer this because I tolerated so many red flags that would have been immediate dealbreakers for anyone else. I’m not really brave enough to leave relationships.

Who is someone who drains your energy? A particular client at work.

What are the top three goals you want to accomplish in the next 12 months? I want to go on a long roadtrip; I want to be even better at my job; I’d like to start doing more adult things, like apply for insurance.

Do you feel that your parents treated you and your siblings the same or was there favoritism? I think there were elements of favoritism for each of us - asking for things came easy to me because I had the best grades out of the three of us; my sister was and is super sensitive so they never scold her; and my brother, as the youngest, naturally gets away with low grades or misbehaving.

Is there anything you will never forgive your parents for? Yes, my mom going through my private journal. And all the painful words she said to me at a time when all I needed was stable family support.

When did you first realize you were attractive? I guess when I got into my first relationship.

What is the most petty reason you've ever ended a friendship or relationship? There was a post making fun of BTS on Facebook and I spotted a couple of friends under the Haha react, so I unfriended them. It’s exactly petty and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it more times if I see it happening again.

Have you ever had a significant other that you were not attracted to? No. I’m not sure I can do that; though I know it’s not everything, looks still kind of matter to me so I have to find them attractive to an extent.

What's the one thing you wish you could do for the first time again? Attend a concert.

What's the longest you've ever slept for? Oh not sure. Maybe 8, 9 hours? I’m not a heavy sleeper so the longest I’ve slept is just the standard for most people hahaha.

What are you currently saving up for to buy? OMG this cute reversible Pride bucket hat from adidas :/ I went to their newest store yesterday and I VERY NEARLY bought it - like I already snatched it from the shelves and everything - but I already bought yet another BTS album this week, bought tickets for their online concert on the 24th, and spent on unnecessary food delivery too...so discipline got the best of me in the end and I had to place it back. Which sucks BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A CUTE BUCKET HAT IamliterallycomingbackforitassoonasIgetmynextpay.

Is there anything an ex has "ruined" for you? Love, I guess. I have no desire to invest in relationships any time soon, seeing how my efforts with her went to waste in the worst way possible anyway.

What life lessons did you have to experience firsthand before you fully understood them? Financial problems. Nothing served as a slap in the face to me more than when my dad had to sell one of our cars last year.

What was the best small thing your parents did for you when you were a kid? Bringing us to this nearby water park every weekend, which felt like a grand vacation.

#survey #surveys #RIP my diane nguyen era

1 note · View note