Me crying to the new Percy Jackson trailer once more, this show is actually going to kill me

5, 9, 17?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

hmmmmm do i have any writing superstitions

i mean i don't think it is like bad luck to write out of chronological order but i do think like... fat chance you'll be writing the same exact story you anticipated by the time you get to the part you were writing in advance. i talked about that a lil here too

maybe that is not true for others though like maybe if you have a really clear idea of what you want to happen you can do that but for me it is just a recipe for having to kill your darlings probably

that said again i do like to jot down notes for what i'm working towards so that i can do a lot of plotting/potential problem solving/sketching out chapter lengths (specific to i carry it in mine really bc of the perspective swap) at once and the way i write my notes is p entertaining to me

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

i answered that one before too!! here it is

????¿¿¿¿ i don’t know tbh!!!! i believe some things are def unexplainable and i don’t like to think that when you die you are just dead. personally, i have never had any kind of ghost encounter that wasn’t probably just some like sleep paralysis nightmare. i have friends who have their OWN ghost encounters and not just in a one-off kind of way, but then you also read all those things that are like “old haunted houses actually plagued by carbon monoxide leaks probably” and it’s like well that makes a lot of sense lmao.

reading an article about the original/real conjuring house with the perrons was v fascinating though, i’ll say that. not that they couldn’t have all collaborated on that together but i am certainly of the mind that we do not know all there is to know or all there ever will be to know about the world around us!! we’re still learning! regardless though i love a ghost story or piece of ghost media.

to add: i did also recently meet a 10 year old who told me in the middle of a VERY serious conversation that she can talk to ghosts and later in a serious follow up conversation she told me that her mom can too and whatever my take on the supernatural may be, i definitely believe that she believes it

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

hmmmm ok i have a couple things in the pipeline right now 

i haaaaave 

1) ideas brewing for howl 3. as far as i’ve gotten, can’t decide if i want to tell any of it from jon’s perspective. that feels very breaking dawn in the twilight saga to me lmao but also sidney is not in so much of scream 3 that it feels like it might be a good narrative adaptation??? but haven’t committed to anything yet. i have an idea of the basics of who is ghostface/why but haven’t figure out yet a) how to make it not super obvious (tricky for howl 2 and i managed by mostly keeping things off page which worked imo only because it was a faithful adaptation if you only stick closely to sansa/sidney’s perspective) b) the actual details of like..... how it would work in practice 

2) i carry it in mine. i’ve started writing the next chapter!!!! which is a jon chapter. and which maybe had like one particularly worthwhile moment in it but i decided to split a sansa chapter into two chapters which meant i needed a jon chapter to go in between. and he’s got thoughts brewing!! but i didn’t necessarily have a lot of action steps for him. and he just had a mainly thoughts chapter. so for a long time i was like.... idk what to write here i’ll come back to it later. and now i have revisited it more and i’m like.... wait what about THIS. something that felt obvious but i hadn’t considered it before. and now i’m like???? does that change the potential narrative??? do i want to update what happens next to accommodate that potential change? is there a way to have that update while also neutering it so it doesn’t have a larger impact??? the next jon chapter is also potentially more thinky and reacty. idk i want to give them equal weight and not do jon a disservice just bc i am a sansa gal at heart but also it just so happens that right now sansa is at a more action packed part of the story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh

3) i have some finished au graphics that don’t have blurbs written for them yet for various reasons one i haven’t figured out the like surrounding cast of characters necessarily for the “ft. a as x, b as y, c as z” part at the bottom of them. i also haven’t gotten around to writing the blurb at all but i don’t think that’ll be the tricky part. 

i am always like hesitant to say what they are in advance bc i am a lil gremlin hoarding ideas lmfao look at me being so cautious literally why and for what 

anyway i also have another that was fully done but i had two final versions i couldn’t pick between and @loulanorth very sweetly let me bounce some ideas around and i think after much Contemplation™️ i finally decided which one is THE final one but now i have to write the blurb

i have another one where honestly the finished version of the graphic has been in my drafts for fully seven months. it’s one where i think i really want to actually write something for it, and i started the other day. but then i was like “idk if this is how arya would actually respond” and it threw me for a loop. idk i find myself like... i was telling @chdarling yesterday that i think when writing my obstacle is not with getting the words on paper so much as it is with knowing what the characters would do. i want to find the objectively correct answer but also sometimes there isn’t a single objectively correct answer. but what if there is!!! i want to find it!!!!!! and then sometimes it’s just like. ok sigh. maybe you can wait until it comes to you. wait out the contemplation percolation stage. but then other times.... does it really matter???? what if you just picked one that suited the story you are trying to tell and then fleshed out why they feel that way. doesn’t that work??? idk. letting it percolate a lil longer just to see

and then then i have another finished graphic but again some of the background casting/mechanics haven’t been fleshed out yet so i can’t write the blurb until i figure out all the moving parts

ALSO not jonsa or sansa related at all, i also have a marauders era mediator au that i started back in like 2015 that i started rewriting in maybe like 2020 that i don’t want to publish any of until i am at least caught up to where i was but also have no incentive to work on really because nobody is waiting for it so lmao. but that one is fun and i like to think about it when i’m feeling marauders vibes. but in adapting the mediator series framework i just have ideas for a larger overarching character arc/romance and it would take SO LONG TO WRITE!!!! that it’s almost like. anyway!!!!! maybe it’s just fun to have ideas!!!! lmfao 

My Anime 9/10′s

With probably no spoilers cuz I don’t wanna talk too long about them zzz.

1. Fullmetal Alchemist

YALL ALREADY KNOW THIS A 9/10. The only real reason this show is not a 10/10 is because it’s just a story that I’d never rewatch. There’s like 70 episodes, which is way too long for my short attention span, especially since I’ve seen it already. But yeah, by all accounts, this story is a masterpiece and is one of the only “shounen” anime’s that I genuinely enjoyed. No random sexualization. No dumb filler. All the characters have an actual purpose and role in the plot and everyone has their own morals and ideals that interact to make the story interesting. I couldn’t bring myself to really hate anyone, even the villains, because everyone was pretty well written. Also super satisfying ending that ties up everything properly without leaving me confused or upset. If you only watch a few anime in your life, Fullmetal Alchemist is pretty much a MUST WATCH to see a beautiful example of a modern classic anime as an artform. Also I should say that I really don’t like Hunter x Hunter (AN EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL OPINION BTW) but I love Fullmetal Alchemist so take from that what you will.

2. Parasyte: The Maxim

Same kinda shit where you already know this a 9/10 for me. It’s just a very satisfying anime that doesn’t have random sexualization or random filler or anything like that. Ending is also very good and ties up the story in a way that doesn’t leave more questions but also allows the characters to have a “life” outside of the scope of the story. I think Parasyte, because of its more horror and psychological-esque vibes, counts as a seinen and not a shounen, so for more mature audiences. I also really liked how the story was successfully adapted to modern times since the manga is from the 80′s. I have actually rewatched this anime, but what stops me from giving it a 10/10 is a few things that I found kinda “stereotypical” that I don’t wanna discuss further too much cuz it’s spoilers. I still obviously really like this anime and highly recommend it.

3. Zankyou no Terror

TBH, this anime is pretty hard for me to properly describe in a lot of words as to why I like it. The art was really pretty as well as the music, which was just straight up amazing. The cinematography of this anime is excellent as well, and a lot of scenes have that sense of being acted out by real people, as opposed to feeling completely drawn/animated. I was a teenager when this anime came out and I think a lot of the themes presented in the show really related to me. The show does kinda have some leftover questions when it ends that prevents me from rating it a 10/10, but I have such a soft spot for this anime. It’s from the same creator as Samurai Champloo and Cowboy Bebop, and although those two animes are also very good, they did not impact me as much as this anime did. Recommended for people looking for idk something that gives off Inception vibes?? In the sense that it’s much more about its themes and its message more so than the believability of the events that occur.

4. Magic Kaito 1412

THIS IS JUST A PERSONAL PREFERENCE BTW LOLOL I DON’T KNOW ANYBODY WHO’D PUT THIS AS A 9/10 ANIME. I JUST REALLY LIKED IT OKAY. It’s made by the same person who does Detective Conan but I like this a lot more because it’s a much shorter series and slightly more mature (more for teens than just straight up kids). I really liked the main guy, I think he’s funny and charismatic. He’s a pervert at times but Imma forgive that cuz of the 90′s. Idk it’s just a really fun anime that I don’t have to take seriously and can just watch and enjoy.

5. Mob Psycho 100 (season 1 AND 2)

Imma put season two as slightly better than season one. So season one would be like a 9 and season two is like a 9.25 for me. Super super funny anime and I like it SO much more than One Punch Man. I liked that there was a good balance of serious moments, but you can definitely still count this anime as a comedy. I’m typically not the type to watch “comedy” but this anime genuinely had me laughing out loud, while also crying and freaking out right alongside the main character. The main guy is super great because he’s just this shy and sweet middle schooler, and it’s really interesting watching him balance trynna have a normal life while also using his powers for good and such. Apparently the anime was decently faithful to the manga and there’s apparently enough material for a third season so I’d be pretty stoked for a season 3, but season 2 ended on a pretty good spot and was satisfying. TBH, if I had the time, I’d probably rewatch both seasons and bump it up to a 10/10.

6. Vinland Saga

This anime is just the first season of what I hopes to be a whole series that will be stay beautifully and faithfully adapted from the manga. As someone who read very far into the manga (but quit like years ago simply because I hate slow updates lol), I actually didn’t enjoy watching the anime at first. I was impatient and kept waiting for when like the “major” events would happen. So I watched like three episodes and quit. But when I had some free time, I decided to get stuck in and commit to watching the whole series and I was so pleasantly surprised with just how good it was. I was impatient but I needed to realize that there is no “filler” or like “wasted time” in the entire anime. I hadn’t read the manga in years, so so many things were only vaguely familiar but I think this helped me stay surprised and excited throughout the anime. I’m looking forward to the rest of the manga being adapted because it’s just a good Viking saga lolol. Major themes of stuff like growing up, violence vs. peace, what it means to be a good person, etc. Lots of blood and LOTS of violence like a LOT they are VIKINGS CMON but tbh not really any gore which I liked cuz gore makes me ughhhh. A very good watch and only a taste of an excellent story.

7. Demon Slayer

It’s just Demon Slayer duhhh. Of course this a 9/10 for me. I don’t wanna write much just cuz the show is so popular. Just read a REAL review of this anime somewhere else lmaoooo. Also yes I did watch the movie in theaters and yes I liked it a lot as well mmkay. I’m mad hype for season two. My S/O doesn’t like Demon Slayer as much as me, but also has Hunter x Hunter as their all time favorite anime. Do with that information what you will lolol.

8. Attack on Titan Season 3 Part 2

Same shit as Demon Slayer. Just go read someone else’s review about why it’s so good lol. Also, unlike Mob Psycho 100, I can’t include all of the seasons in this, because I have very various opinions about how good/bad the other seasons were. But this season 3 part 2, was just plain and simply amazing. While I might not like each season equally, as a whole Attack on Titan is also a modern masterpiece of storytelling. Read the manga if you can.

9. Great Pretender

I love this anime so much. Such a good and fun wild ride. The whole show is ridiculous but in a fun way. I’m a HUGE fan of heist films, so of course I absolutely enjoyed a heist anime. I’ve watched this show in sub AND dub, due to the fact that everyone is “technically” speaking English the entire time. If you’re a purist, just watch in sub OR dub cuz I did get confused here and there, especially when I would go back to compare language discrepancies.  Because basically I did this super high maintenance thing where I switched back to Japanese whenever the main character had flashbacks, since he’s ya know, Japanese. The dub also has this confusing thing where the first five minutes or so are still in Japanese, but switches to English when a little cue card on the screen goes “For the Viewers sake, everything from now on will be translated to Japanese.” It’s cuz in the sub, the inverse obviously happens where the characters are initially speaking broken English to each other, but for convenience sake, everything from that point on will be in Japanese. It’s confusing at first but I liked it cuz it just proved the whole international vibe of the show. It’s funny either sub or dub when they joke about how bad the main guy speaks English, cuz in the dub he’s speaking perfect English, while the sub has him not speaking English at all. But anyway, great anime that WOULD have gotten a 10/10 if not for the last episode. Like without spoiling ... WTF WAS THAT LMAOOOO. The anime as a whole is super wacky and zany but at least I could try to think it’s real life, but that last episode was just so unbelievable and bizarre and pulled my suspension of disbelief into the STRATOSPHERE that I just had to convince myself that this show takes place in some improbable alternate reality where something like what happened in the last episode is at least 5 percent possible CUZ HOW DID ANY OF THAT WORK LMAOOO??? Once again, great show, one of my absolute favorites, BUT THAT ENDING THOUGH WTF.

10. BNA

Good super underrated anime that I don’t hear people talk about at all. If Beastars is anime Zootopia, then BNA is Disney Beastars lmaooo does that make sense? It’s a lot more fun and zany than Beastars and I liked it way more. Made by the same people who made Kill la Kill. I really like that more classic, animated “cheap” art style that the anime has, and I also really liked the plot of the story. Not a 10/10 cuz the show does leave a few unanswered questions at the end of it, but this show was such a fun and interesting ride. When I finished the last episode, I was left with a big smile on my face because I just genuinely enjoyed this anime. Recommended if you wanna watch something a little unique and more on the silly and wack side. Talks about some serious stuff, but luckily the show never takes itself TOO seriously, and remains overall lighthearted for a fun action/sci-fi show.

you’ll float too | fred weasley

summary: another part of the phobia series. FRED LIVES AU! two years after the war, victoire weasley is turning 1 year old! hermione plans the party with muggle surprises including a clown -- something you’ve had a crippling fear of since you were a child. fred is a bit insecure.

pairing: Fem!Reader x Fred.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: None besides the fear of the clowns.

*

When the war was over, and all the rubble was gone, everyone in the Wizarding World did their best to return to any sense of normality they could. For Hermione and Ron that meant finally exploring a relationship together. For Fred and George, it meant opening up the shop again. Bill and Fleur however had arguably the most exciting change of all.

A year after so many lives were lost, little Victoire Weasley was brought into the world. Molly and Arthur made it their goal to spoil the first Weasley grandchild like no other and all of the siblings were enamoured by the tiny angel. Her hair was a gorgeous blonde that matched her mother’s, but her eyes held the Weasley mischief inherited from her father.

Charlie made it a point to move closer after the war and being away for so long and Percy made sure to stop by every Sunday after he made amends (Molly welcomed her boy back with open arms). Fred was one of the only constants in your life over the years so when he asked for you to move into the flat above the shop with him and George, it was a no brainer. Family time was at an all-time high for the Weasleys so with Victoire's first birthday approaching it was going to be a monumental celebration.

Hermione suggested she plan the party so Bill and Fleur could finally have some much-needed rest (for once). As expected, she was an excellent party planner. Everything was mapped out but the most exciting part for her was her plan to incorporate some muggle traditions into the party. With the Weasleys having never experienced muggle treats like blowing out candles, pinãtas, or (your least favourite) clowns. You were over the moon to be part of this special day, however, when she mentioned bringing a clown you knew you couldn't go. Without thinking, you made up a quick apology as to why you couldn't attend –  something about needing to work, covering a shift for someone on short notice.

Being muggle-born meant you were exposed to clowns at a fairly young age through carnivals, parades and parties. You were never overly fond of them, always finding them quite strange but when a friend of yours suggested you read Stephen Kings It, you despised them. They scared you in a way you could barely put into words. From their laughs to their makeup and wigs, it made your skin crawl. As much as you hated them, however, you knew how excited everyone else was to have this muggle experience: Fred and George specifically.

Once Hermione had explained to them that the whole purpose was to tell jokes and make people laugh, the twins were hooked. Much to your dismay, this meant they didn't stop talking about it around the flat and both had quite the pouts when you said you couldn't go (they were almost convincing enough to make you change your mind).

"You've never worked a Saturday until now," Fred said as he crossed his arms. "Can't someone else cover? Why does it have to be you?"

You sighed from your spot in the bath. You'd set up a lovely spa evening for yourself as Fred was supposed to be working late like he did every Friday. However, 10 minutes into your bubble bath and champagne time, he was home and questioning you. You two had been dating for 2 years and friends for even longer so it wasn't hard for him to tell you were hiding something.

"It's a scheduling mistake I made." You shrugged. "It's too late to get someone to cover."

His only reply was a not so intimidating scowl. Which made you sigh and sit up from the tub a bit more (the bubbles hiding all the important stuff). "Everyone else will be there Freddie, it'll be okay." Fred sat on the closed toilet seat and undid his tie from around his neck. He was tired from a busy work week and didn't feel like arguing with you but he wanted answers.

"Georgie and I are closing the shop for it.... 'Mione is getting time off from the Ministry too. Even Harry ended an Auror mission early!" You rubbed your temples and sighed: if there was one thing about Fred Weasley, it was that he was stubborn as hell. What you didn't expect however, was what he said next.

"Listen, George thinks it's something else but you're hiding something and avoiding me and-" He sighed looking away from you as his shoulders sagged. "Are you cheating on me?"

You stared at him with your mouth agape. Did he have so little faith in you?  You needed to make sure he knew the truth ASAP – you never meant your white lie to lead to this. "I never meant to-" You began.

"Who is it?" He asked, jaw clenching.

"Fred-" You said getting up and wrapping yourself in a towel. "I would-" He tried to cut you off again but you'd had enough of him pointing fingers. "I'm scared of clowns!" You all but shouted at him.

He was confused, to say the least.

"What?"

"I'm scared of clowns." You repeated more firmly as you walked closer to him. He was still quite speechless, to be honest, he'd prepared himself for the worst after all. Fred, despite many thinking he was incredibly carefree, overthought absolutely everything. George tried to be a voice of reason and calm him down but once the idea of you hiding something from him entered his mind –  it spiralled.

"Freddie, I would never ever cheat on you. You're the only one I'll ever want." You reassured as you stroked his shoulders. He sat up straight and looked up at you from where you stood between his legs. "I knew you and Georgie were excited about the clown coming so I didn't want to ruin the mood and mention that they scared me." You said softly.

His hands found their way to your hips and he ducked his head in embarrassment. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to assume the worst but you know how I can be sometimes." He chuckled sheepishly. "You wouldn't have ruined the fun love, I'm sure if we mention it to Hermione she can cancel the clown."

"No!" You interjected. "Victoire will probably love it and I don't plan on ruining even more peoples fun..."

"Victoire also loves you," Fred reassured and squeezed your hips gently. "And she may not remember her first birthday but I'm sure she'd rather see you in the photos than a grown man dressed up in a silly costume."

You leaned down and kissed his softly feeling relieved for the first time in a while – he always had a way with words. "Why don't we change into some PJs then talk about why you're scared of them?"

Fred, having so many siblings, was extremely good when it came to being open and communicating one's fears and dreams. The pair of you got into comfier clothes (you donned in one of his old quidditch sweaters for an extra sense of comfort when discussing such a daunting subject). Once you two were settled on the double bed you shared, you reached under and pulled out a worn down box. Inside you found a few knickknacks that never found a place when you moved in with Fred and a tattered copy of It. Despite being the bane of your existence it looked well-loved from being lent out to friends, cried on and thrown around over the years.

"This is It." You said laying the book in your lap. Fred quirked his eyebrow in confusion and took the book as you explained more. "When I was younger, my friend suggested I read this. It's about an evil killer clown named Pennywise."

Fred nodded along and read the description on the back of the book. His brows furrowed in concentration as he looked through the worn-out pages.

"This does seem rather frightening." He said after you looked at him expectantly. "Especially if you read this as a kid!" You nodded and felt relief wash over you when he didn't laugh or make fun. You'd always thought it was a stupid fear to have – something that was meant to bring joy to people ended up terrifying you.

"What really got me was the film." You began. "There's a muggle adaptation and seeing the clown made it so much more real." You shivered as you explained.

"I reckon I could take him." He said puffing his chest out proudly. It wasn't what you expected him to say but when has Fred Weasley ever been one that someone can easily read? Your hand came up to your mouth and you stifled a giggle.

"In what way?" You teased.

"Well, in terms of comedy I've got him beat hands down! Eating kids isn't funny so I reckon he's a terrible clown." He replied not quite understanding that you were egging him on. He was more focused on proving his superiority over Pennywise. "And phyically! I'm 6'4" and even though I don't play Quidditch as regularly anymore I don't doubt I'm still more fit than some old cannibal git."

You couldn't hold back your booming chuckles anymore and leaned back in bed laughing as he stood up. "I'll give him the one-two Weasley special!" He continued as he adjusted his PJs more comfortably. The contagious smile on your face was enough to tell him that his plan was working.

"He'd try to-" He took a bite of the air as if Pennywise was biting at him. "And I'd-" He followed up with a swing of his arm and a kick of his leg.

"My hero..." You said climbing off the bed and hugging him around his middle. He gave you a dimply smile and pressed his lips to yours quickly. "'M the only clown allowed in your life. I promise to fight off all the others."

"You have got the red hair and pale skin after all." You chuckled poking him in the side.

"Don't act like you wouldn't let me bite you." He replied cheekily.

By the time the next day came you felt much more at ease with Fred knowing how you felt. The icing on the cake was that the clown wasn't funny at all. Fred and George stepped in to do their own show after the comedy flop and the finale was Fred challenging the other clown to a brawl before sending a wink your way. Victoire had the time of her life and unanimously everyone agreed that the twins were a much more fitting form of entertainment.

Maybe clowns aren’t so bad after all.

I’m sorry but...

Fruits Basket (2019) anime is now it’s own thing.  If it’s to the point where the manga readers are saying ‘read the manga after the anime’ then it is no longer a ‘faithful’ adaptation in my opinion.  

I’m not saying the anime is bad.  I am grateful to have this anime.  I am grateful that we’re feeling these feelings again and we’re getting a ‘more’ faithful anime than the first one but this last season...

It’s good and it gets a lot of what the manga portrayed across but it’s definitely different enough that 5/10 years from now it would be 100% plausible that they could create an anime faithful to the last third of the manga (kind of like FMA: Brotherhood just did the last part of the manga).  I’m not saying they ever will; I’m saying that it’s different enough for it to be wanted by many fans.

This is why, yes, it is kind of disappointing.  Being negative about something you love feels terrible BUT at the same time the manga readers were expecting a faithful manga to anime adaptation.  And yes a faithful anime adaptation IS possible.  Please don’t say it’s not possible.  It really is possible.  I’ve seen it done.  A lot. 

The issue is probably with the anime studio and time constraints.  Which I understand they have to deal with.  That doesn’t mean it ‘can’t’ follow the manga timeline though, it just means the studio couldn’t spend the time and money to follow the manga.  Which, yes, is disappointing.

I’m grateful for the anime writers working hard on the anime but at the same time I can’t be completely positive about it because in reality the end product is not the best product that we could have had due to whatever reasons (probably money/time constraints) BUT it’s better than nothing and it’s the best anime that could be given per the constraints of the last season so I do applaud their work, it’s just that it REALLY could have been more.  And we’re allowed to be upset by that as well.

I have very mixed emotions.  I think it’s okay though.  It’s okay to be disappointed but grateful at the same time.

IT'S BEEN 84 YEARS. LET'S TALK ABOUT NETFLIX'S SHADOW AND BONE.

8.7/10 ⭐️

spoilers for everythingggg under the cut! i'll be discussing its merits as an adaptation vs as a show, characters and plots, and the overall aesthetic and magic/world.

SHOW VS ADAPTATION:

i say this as someone who knows all the books very well and has been in the fandom for nearly a decade, so i'm biased. but. s&b functions better as an adaptation than as a standalone show. alina's plot moves so well, and satisfyingly renders so many iconic scenes and sites from s&b. the worldbuilding is also pretty easy to fall into, with a forgivable amount of voiceover/infodump. and, hurting budget aside, i mostly liked this visual interpretation of the gv.

(sidebar: the in-universe racism... doesn't work. i tried to view it in good faith but imo it was very heavy-handed. if it was framed like, "wow it's a SHU WOMAN saving the world!!!" it might've been better, but it's just racism without recompense. and it's a terrible look to make other characters of color racist. i just. why?)

as for the crows, however... i'm just not sure how strong they'll be for new viewers? i totally understand why they were included, and i really like certain connections the show made between the two series. it was a great decision to introduce the druskelle in the first Cut scene, and showing nina as a ravkan spy.

the new crows stuff felt in character, but i think the show is at its height when it sticks to the books. the first couple episodes switching between tgt and proto-soc gave me whiplash, but luckily it got more organic as it progressed. if i didn't know and love all the crows before going in, i wouldn't be that invested in them based on season 1. aside from a couple fantastic scenes, it really felt like the writers were trying to make fetch happen for like 4 episodes before they figured out what to do with everyone. plus, ravka is such a different vibe from ketterdam--tonally, sartorially, technologically, etc they didn't totally feel like the same world. it was pretty jarring. although i prefer the duo to the trio, s&b is alina's story and she is That Bitch who walked so the crows could fly. so i didn't hate their inclusion but the shoehorned content did at times disservice both plots, imo.

CHARACTERS:

way too many, which is yet another consequence of smushing everyone into one season.

MAL/ALINA/DARKLING: first and foremost, and i PROMISE i'm not saying this just to be a hater, but there needed to be less malina. i'll be the first to say that show!mal really has what book!mal wants. the new pre-fold scenes were so good. li and renaux have amazing chemistry, and their laughter over stolen grapes was a highlight. his stag plot was also good. THAT SAID, there were way too many keramzin flashbacks and malina parallels like.. 🤢🤢why do they want us to love mal so much. for what. they only needed the teacup scene but they clearly thought they were doing something with micro-aggressions and that meadow shot they showed like 6 times. knowing mal's original character, and how they scrubbed his show counterpart almost to the point of flawlessness, he's just never going to be my fave even though i do respect what they did with him. also, why were there like 5 fake deaths for this dude? boring.

the darkling was great. ben barnes knows what the fuck he's about, and he funneled manipulation and charisma into every scene. as for the backstory: at first i really wasn't feeling it, but i eventually did warm up to it and i'm so glad they showed it because oh god the cut and the creation of the fold were SO FUCKING ICONIC. also, love love love the baghra development. WE LOVE TO SEE OLD WOMEN/MOMS WHO AREN'T "EVIL"/"CORRUPTED" BY THEIR MAGICAL POWERS!!!!!!! BITCH! it didn't have to be 12 minutes long though.

i honestly don't have much to say on alina. jml was excellent in her role and very true to the book. without her book narration she feels much more consistently written.

TRILOGY CHARACTERS: i really felt the lack of genya and zoya. genya's character and actress are perfectly layered and effective, even though their roles are relatively minor. i'm so looking forward to her razrushost moment, but i wish they'd laid more groundwork for it. (and i hope throw out the wig and just dye her hair next season.) also like. WHY KEEP THE IRRELEVANT MEAN GIRL/DARKLING THIRST PLOT FOR ZOYA??? AFTER ALL THE EFFORT THEY PUT INTO IMPROVING MAL? they sacrificed so much for malina at the expense of other characters. finally, it was interesting how they decided to kill marie. i love the tailor magic flex. but also they clearly just did that to emotionally manipulate us and connect the crows so. hm.

CROWS: speaking of! the crows storyline felt a little like filler. honestly i wish they waited to roll crows into later seasons. i'd prefer little foreshadowings about them, a la the druskelle cameo or the references to nina and matthias. introducing the crows so soon makes the ice court heist feel less special. the recruitment was super tight and pragmatic, so this felt a little fluffy/fanservicey. kaz also comes off as sooooo old again. especially without the vulnerability of his book counterpart, he just seems like a 40-year-old in a 20something body.

i was pleasantly surprised to find jesper my favorite crow. like wow.... second amendment rights for jesper fahey only!! i like all the crows but book!kanej are my faves by a long shot. they felt a bit stiff tbh, like the actors were a little uncomfy with each other and/or their exposition-heavy lines. however, the one scene that felt EXTREMELY kanej to me was when they killed that dude in the church holy fuck oh my god. WE STAN AN ANGSTY BATTLE COUPLE WHO ARE BOTH DEAD INSIDE. highlight for sure.

and i actually kinda loved helnik? i know helnik is controversial for very valid reasons, but i thoughy their dynamic was fantastic and they were among the strongest performers. it was much less overwhelming than the constantly interweaving kaz/inej/jesper imo. they need to fire their location scout though. those green screen mountains and beaches were um. interesting.

aesthetic and magic:

i really hope they get a bigger budget for costumes, cgi, and sets next season! the keftas are serviceable, but they look a little cheap at times. i will also never forgive ANY of the crows' hats. it's mostly just a personal aesthetic thing but god i fucking hate them. the darkling was best dressed, but in general i liked the ravkan look more than the kerch. why were the crows always in the most elaborate getups? why couldn't they just chill in their waistcoats??? they never seemed relaxed in the way alina and co did; the clothes never felt worn or broken in.

favorite sets: the darkling's room, the crow club, all the grisha tents, the matthias/nina ship, the church where inej killed the squaller, outdoor fountain where they told the story of the black heretic. the lighting was almost always right for each scene, and there was so much detail in every one of them.

THE MAGIC WAS SO COOL! my greatest beef is alina's light--it often looked so fake, and it washed out jml. oftentimes it was fluorescent or blue, and it was used as a forcefield or orb. it's supposed to be sunlight bro. what is so hard about that? the darkling's magic looked good, other than the fold. i've always imagined the fold more like a huge black fog rather than a literal wall. so that was a bit game of thronesy, but not terrible.

and can we talk about the amplifiers? amplifiers are my personal favorite gv lore but season 1 barely gets into them. they never mention the bear zoya slew, nor do they establish the unique strength of the stag, sea dragon, and firebird. BUT THE ANTLER COLLAR FUSED INTO ALINA'S SKIN WAS SUPER DARK AND MACABRE AND I KINDA LIKED IT? ALTHOUGH I HAVE TO WONDER HOW TF IS SHE GONNA SLEEP???

if you made it this far, thanks so much! that's all i have for today.

OH, TAYLOR! Taylor Swift On Side-Stepping Into Acting, Owning What You Make & Loving The “Weirdness” Of Cats

On a grey London afternoon in late September, Taylor Swift slips quietly through the doors of a north London recording studio. It is an auspicious moment: the queen of confessional pop has come to meet Andrew Lloyd Webber, the king of musical theatre. Together, Swift, who turns 30 this month, and Lloyd Webber, 71, have written “Beautiful Ghosts”, a new song for the soon-to-be-released film adaptation of Cats – Webber’s 1981 extravaganza, which ran in the West End and on Broadway for a combined total of almost 40 years. In it, Swift plays Bombalurina, and like her co-stars – Idris Elba, Judi Dench, Francesca Hayward, Ian McKellen, Jennifer Hudson, Rebel Wilson – appears in full, furry CGI glory. Track finished, these two titans of the music industry sit down to talk… 

Andrew Lloyd Webber: Well, the first thing we have to clear up is that we both love cats. Taylor Swift: [Laughs] We do! One of the first things you said to me when we met was that you’re president of the Turkish Van Cat Club.  ALW: Professionally, there is nowhere I can go to top this, as you can completely understand. TS: I have three cats. How many do you have now?  ALW: I have three, too – they are all Turkish Vans. And you’ve got a Scottish Fold I believe. TS: I have two Scottish Folds, we think the third is a Ragdoll mix. ALW: You’re probably never going to talk to me again, but you know I’ve got a puppy? He’s called Mojito.  TS: I heard about this! How does he get along in the hierarchy?  ALW: Well, he believes he’s a little bear actually. He’s a Havanese dog, which I got because Glenn Close has one. TS: I’ve met that dog, he’s really good. ALW: You come from Pennsylvania. TS: I do. People seem to think I was raised in the south, but I’m from the north – grew up on a Christmas tree farm, then moved to Nashville when I was 14. ALW: And you wanted to move to Nashville for the songwriting or the singing? Or both? TS: Both – I was just obsessed with Shania Twain, Faith Hill, Dixie Chicks, and the thing they had in common was that they had gotten discovered in Nashville. So I had it in my head that this is a magical place where discoveries are made and people are able to do music as a living. ALW: Was it the storytelling side of country songs that you liked? Absolutely. It reminded me of the ’90s, when you had these amazing female singer-songwriters like Alanis Morissette and Sarah McLachlan; incredible female writers like Melissa Etheridge, Shawn Colvin; and these types of Lilith Fair women. Then you started to hit the 2000s and the only place I could find real confessional storytelling was country music. ALW: Did you know anybody when you got to Nashville? TS: No, we didn’t really. I’d been going there on vacation with my family, and my mom, my little brother and I would stay in a hotel and try to meet people. Eventually, after several trips, I got a development deal – it’s a non-committal record deal, like, “We’ll watch you develop for a year and then we’ll decide if we sign you.” That was grounds enough to move the family. ALW: Presumably you were in school in Nashville as well? TS: Yes, I was going to high school during the day and doing my songwriting sessions at night. It was a double life. I’d be writing notes in class, and my teachers never knew if they were notes for my class or if I’d gotten an idea for a song. ALW: How many songs would you write in a day? TS: Usually, never more than one. I had these sessions every day, and if I didn’t come in with a good idea, I’d get stared at. You’re not inspired every day, as you know, but you have to show up and treat it like a job. That’s where I learned the craft of songwriting. ALW: I’ve never worked like that, because I’m so story driven. What interests me, though, is how Nashville works. How did you get your foot on the performing ladder? TS: It was really writing first. At the same time, I was singing the national anthem every time I could – at festivals and fairs and bars, anywhere I could get up on stage. I was trying to hone both sides of what I was doing, but I’m very well aware that I would not have a career if I hadn’t been a writer. I wouldn’t have just been a singer, it wouldn’t have worked. ALW: I guess that, today, very few people have a major career unless they write. TS: Yeah, I agree. I think it’s really important – also from the side of ownership over what you do and make. Even if you aren’t a natural writer, you should try to involve yourself in the messages you’re sending. ALW: How does a young country artist get their first break? TS: I worked as hard as I could, reached out to as many people as I could to make sure I got meetings with publishing companies and labels. They didn’t come about very easily, but once I got in the room I’d just get out my guitar and play for them. ALW: Do you have to sing in a certain club to get to the next stage? TS: Everyone does it a different way, but the Bluebird Cafe is a place where everyone was discovered – from Garth Brooks to Faith Hill to, arguably, me. I remember being at your house after we’d written a song, and you telling me you’d bought it when you were 24 or something, that’s when I realised just how young you were when you had a vision to be doing this at such a high level. ALW: I was writing for the theatre when I was eight-years-old. I had a little toy theatre and did dreadful musicals on terrible subjects. Then, when I was about 13, I met a boy who wanted to write lyrics, and we did a couple of musicals at school. TS: So from the beginning you would pair up with a lyricist? ALW: One of the things I worked out very early was Lloyd Webber and lyrics are not a good idea. TS: Wow. It is a good alliteration, though. ALW: You were 19, weren’t you, when you had your first big hit? TS: I was about 18 when “Love Story”, a song I’d written alone, was a worldwide hit. I was lucky enough to work my way up in country music, for new artists nowadays, it feels like the trajectory of their career is like being shot out of a canon into a stratosphere they could in no way be prepared for. I got to sort of acclimate to every step of the path I was on, and by the time I had a massive hit I’d been working since I was 14. Moving from country music to pop was a crazy adjustment for me. ALW: And now we’ve written “Beautiful Ghosts” together for Cats. TS: I remember the moment. I went over to your apartment to rehearse “Macavity” and you sat down at the piano and started to play this haunting, beautiful melody, and I think I just started singing to it right away. ALW: You wrote the lyrics more or less then and there – it was fantastic. TS: It’s a different perspective on the song “Memory”, too, and the character of Grizabella [played by Jennifer Hudson], who used to have majestic, glamorous times and doesn’t anymore. On the other side of it, you have this little white cat [Victoria, played by Francesca Hayward] who’s been abandoned – she’s afraid she’ll never have a chance to have beautiful memories. So that’s where she’s singing “Beautiful Ghosts” from, to counter Grizabella’s idea of tragedy. ALW: I’d like to come back to something I thought when I heard your album, Lover – which is really absolutely brilliant. Am I right in thinking you approached its recording just as though you were giving live performances? TS: I did. I was really singing a lot at that point – I’d just come from a stadium tour, and then did Cats, which was all based on live performances – so a lot of that album is nearly whole takes. When you perform live, you’re narrating and you’re getting into the story and you’re making faces that are ugly and you’re putting a different meaning on a song every time you perform it. ALW: That’s the point isn’t it. TS: Yeah. ALW: Does that ever make you feel you want to be an actress? TS: I have no idea. When I was younger, I used to get questions like, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” I’d try to answer. As I get older, I’m learning that wisdom is learning how dumb you are compared to how much you are going to know. I really had an amazing time with Cats. I think I loved the weirdness of it. I loved how I felt I’d never get another opportunity to be like this in my life. ALW: It’s weird, what I’ve seen of the movie. TS: It’s decidedly weird [they laugh]. ALW: I think Tom [Hooper, the film’s director] has really tried to make something original. And I agree, I think as you get older you do become less sure of yourself and start to question what you can do. Would you consider doing a musical? TS: A musical? Absolutely, absolutely. ALW: Or writing your own? TS: That is way up there on my list of dreams. ALW: You should. TS: Was it really wonderful for you when you got the news that Judi Dench had accepted the role of Old Deuteronomy? ALW: Judi was in the original version in 1981 but she snapped her Achilles tendon and had to withdraw. Then I had this idea, which I ran past Tom, that we could make Old Deuteronomy a woman. Seeing her perform this time was quite an emotional thing for me, because it was a very, very sad day when she had to leave the original show. TS: She’s lovely. I remember being on set, and there is one scene that Idris [Elba, who plays Macavity] and I do with Judi, and someone walked up to me with this kind of gummy candy and I was like, “Oh, I’ve never had this before, this must be British candy, this is amazing.” I was raving about this candy so much, and Judi must have overheard me, because the next day I got to my dressing room and there was a signed photo from Judi and, like, six bags of it [they laugh]. Andrew, we both started young. What do we have in common from our experiences? What do you think was hard about it? And what was great? ALW: I suppose what was hard for me was that I was a fish out of the mainstream water. In the 1960s, to love musicals was as uncool as you could possibly be, and kids in my class at school would laugh at me. TS: I was the same. I loved country music and, where I was in school, the kids were just completely perplexed by that. It’s gotten more mainstream, but when I was a 13-year-old in Pennsylvania, I got similar reactions. Do you feel like you’re glad you were really young when you started? ALW: Yeah, are you? TS: I’m really glad, even though there are challenges to it – like you’re not allowed to make the same mistakes as everyone else because your mistakes are a commodity. ALW: And your mistakes are made in public. But we share something in common, in which we are extremely lucky. We both knew at an early age what we wanted to do, and most people in life don’t have a clue. TS: That’s very true. I think, also, a lot of the time when people see a career that they want it can be results-based. Rather than wanting to write musicals, they want to be a person who has written musicals. But when I see you work, I see you consistently creating and being curious about the next idea. You relish in the process even more than the rewards, which is the advice I would give anyone who wanted to do anything remotely close to this job. It cannot be about the results. ALW: It’s the process isn’t it? TS: It has to be. It’s supposed to be fun!

MEET & GREET: Introducing the faces behind this month’s issue

When it came to interviewing Taylor Swift about her musical-movie debut in Cats, there was only one man for the job: Andrew Lloyd Webber, composer of the original West End and Broadway mega hit. The two colossi of songwriting had plenty to discuss at a recording studio in north London – art, ambition and authenticity, plus what we can expect from the soon-to-be-released film.

Vogue: What was it like to work with Taylor? Andrew Lloyd Webber: She’s supremely professional and very charming with it. In my view, she could go far. Vogue: What was your first impression of her? ALW: She’s a lot taller than me, and a lot more attractive. Vogue: What’s your favourite Swift hit? ALW: “Blank Space” from the album 1989. It’s a great pop song with great lyrics.

20 Most Anticipated of 2020 Part 2: 11-20

20 films directed by women that will debut in 2020. 

Part I HERE

On the Rocks dir. Sofia Coppola

Coppola has sort of fallen out of vogue recently and I’ll admit it’s been quite a while since I fully connected with one of her films. But she remains one of the most imitable and influential living directors. On the Rocks seems to play to what I believe are Coppola’s strengths. The film follows a new mother (played by Rashida Jones) reconnecting with her elderly playboy father (played by Coppola muse Bill Murray).  

Passing dir. Rebecca Hall

British actress Hall is getting behind the camera for the first time with Passing, an adaptation of a Nella Larsen novel about two African-American light skinned childhood friends who reconnect as adults when one is passing as white and the other has chosen to embrace life as a black woman. Hall herself has black American heritage (her maternal grandfather was an American black man who passed for white) so the material is personal for her. She’s also chosen two incredible actresses to play the friends: Tessa Thompson and Ruth Negga.

The Rhythm Section dir. Reed Morano

After the beautiful work Morano did with her low budget scifi film I Think We’re Alone Now I've been eagerly anticipating Morano’s next work. TRS was supposed to come out last year but was delayed after star Blake Lively severely injured her hand. I thought the movie might be cancelled for good but Morano and her team persevered. The movie, about a woman seeking revenge after her family is murdered is finally complete! Though it’s being dumped in early January I’m sure that Morano has delivered something that will be at the very least, a visual feast. 

The Story of My Wife dir. Ildikó Enyedi

I was so thoroughly in love with Enyedi’s last film On Body and Soul that I would have watched whatever she chose to do next. The Hungarian director has chosen to adapt a novel about a sea captain who makes a bet with his friend that he will marry the next woman to walk into a cafe and then spends the rest of his life jealously miserable and certain that his beautiful wife is cheating on him. French actress Léa Seydoux plays the wife!

The Souvenir Part II dir. Joanna Hogg

I always find myself reluctant to recommend Hogg films because they are the very definition of rich white people problems (you know, incredibly wealthy people repressing their issues with each other and looking distressed as they wander around beautiful landscapes and rooms filled with a sense of malaise)  yet I really adore her films. The Souvenir was a semi-autobiographical look at a wealthy young woman’s birth as an artist and how a toxic relationship with an older junkie warped her world (in a restrained way of course). The first part ended on a particularly devastating note and I imagine part II will pick up from there. I had a discussion with someone who called the first film navel gazing and while I can’t quite disagree I will easily sign up for two and a half more hours to gaze at that particular navel again.

The Titane dir. Julia Ducournau

I’m terrified of horror so I had to wince my way through Ducournau’s directorial debut, but she’s such a stunning director that I am very much looking forward to her next film. The Titane has Ducournau sticking to her horror roots with the story of a child who was kidnapped returning to his family as an adult and the slew of murders that accompany his mysterious reappearance. Sounds gruesome.

The Turning dir. Floria Sigismondi

A theme of 2020 seems to be long delayed projects and directors finally putting out more work. Sigismondi cut her teeth as a music video director, made the musical biopic The Runaways which was released in 2010 and then didn’t make another feature film until now. The Turning is a modern adaptation of Henry James’ horror novella The Turning of the Screw about a nanny assigned to care for two children under mysterious circumstances.  Mackenzie Davis will be playing the nanny in this version with Finn Wolfhard and Brooklynn Prince playing her creepy charges.

Violet dir. Justine Bateman

I’ve been tracking this ever since it was announced and was losing hope that it would ever be made. Should have kept the faith! Actress turned director Justine Bateman makes her feature film debut with the story of a successful film executive who learns that the voice in her head guiding her decisions has been lying to her- about everything.

Wonder Woman 1984 dir. Patty Jenkins

She’s back baby! I was so utterly charmed by the 2017 film adaptation of Wonder Woman and it’s exciting to see that in the ashes of the DC cinematic universe with its ever rotating cast of Jokers and Batmans, Wonder Woman has prevailed. Not only is Jenkins back as director, but lengthy negotiations resulted in her getting the biggest payday for a woman director in Hollywood (a rumoured $10 million!) and also coming onboard as a producer and writer meaning she’ll have even more power to fully execute her vision. Bring on the shoulder pads, the track suits, the colour! Bring on the anti-gun propaganda! Bring on the matriarchy!

Zola dir. Janicza Bravo

This was on my list of most anticipated films last year when I was optimistic it would get made right away. Well now it’s finally here. Bravo presents Zola, the film based on the viral tweets from a stripper about how she went to Florida with an acquaintance and got dragged into the world of sex work and violence. This has potential to be amazing and I’m rooting for Bravo and the cast which includes the underrated Taylour Paige as Zola and Riley Keough as her friend.  

Thoughts on the Alex Rider TV show...

Some background: I’ve been reading the books since Point Blanc came out, so we are going back a few years (actually quite a few more years than I care to credit). I thought the Stormbreaker movie was a pretty awful adaptation all round. Definitely lacked the grit of the book series. Imagine my fear of what they were going to do to Point Blanc, one of my favourite books of the series...

So, thoughts (in no particular order):

1. Otto Farrant is brilliantly cast. OK, one can nitpick. He’s been aged up, but I think that works - the TV series has tried to go grittier than the movie, and if we’re honest, a 14 year old being treated the way Alex is would just be extremely uncomfortable viewing. The books are written for children - they put up with a lot more than adults. And Farrant manages to strike an excellent balance between being old enough to make the whole thing believable, and young enough to provoke the right amount of outrage. His portrayal of Alex is really very good - the unwillingness to let something drop when he’s curious about it, the coldness, the desire to just be a schoolboy, the fundamental streak of doing what’s right. Sorry, Alex Pettyfer, but no matter how good looking you were, you weren’t Alex Rider for me. Otto Farrant has nailed it.

2. Alex generally. The writing is pretty faithful to his character. There are a few tweaks - he’s a bit more of a rebel than he is in the books. The foam party - one can see Alex doing that in the book because it’s part of the bad-boy act he’s supposed to be putting on, but I’m not sure that was the motivation for the foam party; I think he did it because it was fun and he’s someone who likes to rock the boat a bit. But I liked this Alex. It made his snarkiness and impulsiveness that much more believable. And, let’s be honest, what kid is taught to withstand interrogation techniques without becoming a bit of a loose cannon? One thing that was changed that I’m still not sure about was his determination to go back to Point Blanc. Book Alex didn’t want to go back; TV Alex says he’s going with or without MI6���s help because he’s got friends there. This was admirable, and I think probably the right move (I don’t think “leaving it to the professionals” would have come off well on screen when he’d made such good friends), but I did miss the scene from the book where Jones more or less manipulates him into going back in.

3. Jack. I love Jack as a character. It’s a bit more of recent phenomenon - I think since I became about the age that Jack is and suddenly woke up to what she must have felt - but the book Jack puts up with so much without complaint. The thing is, she’s a very tricky character to portray, because it’s a fine balance between making her powerless and useless. I think they did a good job here. They’ve changed things - Jack gets her degree at the start, and hints to Ian that it might be time for her to think about leaving. It’s not faithful to the book, but it’s a brilliant move, because as soon as Ian dies and she sticks around, you think - wow. She’s just given up her plans for this kid. She really cares. And that’s what the book series hints at throughout but has only addressed explicitly in recent books. I also like that they showed her having a bit more agency, which is realistic. I mean, she’s got a law degree. She’s not helpless. Ronkẹ Adékoluẹjo does a good job here. OK, she’s not the red haired Jack we know of the series. But so what? Representation matters (on a side point of which, good job in making Alex’s crush at school black too). And didn’t that thing about Immigration strike just a bit harder because Jack was black? Didn’t it make it that much more realistic and scary? This shit happens, people.

4.Ian. I didn’t have strong views about this. I’ve seen that others didn’t like how his death was changed. I’d argue they wanted to get away from what had already been done in the Stormbreaker movie, and, anyway, it set up the mystery of Scorpia’s involvement and the MI6 leak quite effectively. I don’t care about the speeding/seatbelt change. They probably did it because these days any decent car (like Ian’s was) screams at the driver if they’ve not got their seatbelt on.

5. K Unit generally. We didn’t get too much of Fox, Eagle and Snake, but we got a bit, and what I saw, I really liked. I liked that two of them were women (one of them an excellent sniper!). This show generally handles women much better than the book series - far more balance. I liked the introduction of K Unit - the whole interrogation scene was really well done, from K Unit following orders but being quite uncomfortable with the whole thing, to Alex’s reaction to it, to his escape. I think the lack of SAS training camp was again an attempt to shift away from the Stormbreaker movie and, although it has spawned a lot of fanfiction, it doesn’t actually serve any purpose that couldn’t be addressed elsewhere. For K Unit lovers, I think this move was a good thing. It is pretty difficult to justify K Unit’s attitude towards Alex at Brecon Beacons, and translating that situation to one of trust between Alex and Wolf would be very difficult. This approach worked because, although K Unit was introduced in circumstances where you think they’re acting badly (following orders to interrogate Alex), you’re immediately introduced to the idea they’re not comfortable about it - so they might be good guys after all.

6. Wolf. So this gave us ALL the feels (the apology, the blanket wrap at the end...), but I (possibly controversially) think they could have done more here. I would have liked to have seen a bit more of what we saw in the book - Wolf not liking Alex, and then them turning that around. Don’t get me wrong - obviously, the more Alex/Wolf trust, the better. But I thought they made Wolf into a bit more of a softie than they really needed to. They had 8 episodes - they had time to build more of a character arc for him. 

7. Jones. Mixed feelings. Vicky McClure is really good, and I think the way they’ve set it up, there’s room for a good character arc here; at the moment, the Department is portrayed as basically being under Alan Blunt’s rule, with others disagreeing with his approach but getting overruled. If they make it far enough, Mrs Jones is going to need to have adopted some of his ruthlessness by the time Blunt gets the sack at the end of Scorpia Rising. A bit like Wolf, I thought Mrs Jones could have been a bit more complex than she was. But I’m happy to wait and see what they do in (hopefully) future seasons.

8. Setting. Generally pretty well done. Thank GOD they were wearing proper school uniform (what were the directors of the Stormbreaker movie thinking...this is Britain, y’all). The Point Blanc academy was suitably creepy and isolated. My only criticism re setting was that the “Department” was in a basement. I can see why they did it (dark and mysterious setting, OK), but it didn’t strike me as a particularly realistic place to run a Government department from. Even MI6 has a decent building in Vauxhall.

9. Kyra. I didn’t want to like this deviation in principle - I was really suspicious they were just setting up a love interest (the same way as in the Stormbreaker movie, where they elevated Sabina’s character in a way that just wasn’t appropriate). But Kyra was a brilliant addition. Complex but good-hearted. And nothing cringey happened - even that nearly kiss before Alex leaves Point Blanc was actually pretty believable and went just far enough. Be interesting to see if she comes back - that hanging ending, man. Poor Kyra. On a side point, I think for the purposes of the TV series it was quite important to give Alex a good friend at the academy. Solitary spying works well on the page, but not so much on screen - viewers need dialogue. I thought the way they did it worked well.

10. Plot. Yes, there were tweaks. But I thought the way it was put together was well done. There was no dramatic baddie revealing all at the end. I liked the way it gradually unfolded, and that although MI6 had managed to piece some of it together, it was ultimately Alex who solved it through the spying he’d done. Interesting that they have decided to introduce Scorpia so early on, but it’s given us something to drive the series forward rather than it just being one mission after another, so probably a good move.

11. Tom. The relationship between Tom and Alex was well done (when Alex comes to Tom’s rescue at the end!). O’Connor is good (though, please, PLEASE can we ditch what my husband and I have dubbed the gnome hat?). I thought he got slightly too much air time at this stage, personally - and turning up at the Friends’ house was a bridge too far for me. But I can forgive this. I liked the way they targeted Tom because he and Alex are such best friends. This bromance was something missing from the series and it was a welcome introduction.

I could go on, but I think this is long enough. If anyone has anything they’d like to chat about or to hear my opinion on, do PM me or comment on this post. Meanwhile, I’m off to rewatch the series.

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 6 of 26

Title: The Killing Moon (Dreamblood #1) (2012)

Author: N. K. Jemisin

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, First-Person, Third-Person, Female Protagonist, LGBT Protagonist, Asexual Protagonist.

Rating: 8/10

Date Began: 2/07/2021

Date Finished: 2/13/2021

Peace is sacred in the walled city-state of Gujaareh, and must be maintained at any cost. The Gatherers are a priesthood tasked with maintaining this goal. In the name of Hananja, Goddess of the moon, they walk the city at night and harvest Dreamblood-- the magic of dreams-- from Gujaareh's denizens. They bring the peace of death to those who need it... and to those judged criminal or corrupt.

But something else haunts Gujaareh's streets. A Reaper, a rogue Gatherer driven to endless madness and hunger from Dreamblood, is preying on the innocent, casting their souls into an eternal nightmare. Ehiru, one of the elder Gatherers, finds himself caught in the middle of a political conspiracy between his priesthood, the holy Prince, and the monstrous Reaper. An insidious corruption runs deeper than Ehiru knows-- and it may be too late to stop. 

The Gatherer’s eyes glittered in her memory, so dark, so cold--but compassionate, too. That had been the truly terrifying thing. A killer with no malice in his heart: it was unnatural. With nothing in his heart, really, except the absolute conviction that murder could be right and true and holy. 

Full review, major spoilers, and content warnings under the cut.

Content warnings for the book: Graphic depictions of violence, gore, death, warfare, and murder-- including death of children and mass murder. Discussions of p*dophilia/grooming (nothing graphic). Brief reference to r*pe. One character is a minor infatuated with a much older character-- not reciprocated. Rigid gender and social roles, including slavery. Magic-induced addiction and withdrawal. Loss of sanity/altered mental states/mind control/gaslighting.

Last year I read N. K. Jemisin's short story collection How Long 'Til Black Future Month?  One of my favorite stories was The Narcomancer, which explored a vibrant, ancient Egypt-inspired world with themes of faith, dreams, violence, and duty. I wanted to read more from the universe, and finally got to do so with The Killing Moon, the first book in the Dreamblood duology.

Jemisin's creativity in worldbuilding is, in my opinion, unmatched in the fantasy genre. I thought Gujaareh was super interesting and fleshed out. While the ancient Egypt inspiration is obvious, it's also clearly an original fantasy culture in its own right. Everything from religious practices to social castes to gender roles to the fucking architecture felt methodical and thought out. The base premise of assassin priests compassionately harvesting magic from people is a fascinating idea and totally gripping. The pacing is a little slow, but I didn't mind so much because learning about the world was so fun.

While there's a hefty amount of worldbuilding exposition in the story, Jemisin doles out information gradually. Bits and pieces of Gujaareen law, etc are introduced at the beginning of each chapter, and usually have a thematic connection to the events of the story. Information is sparing at times, meaning that one doesn't have a full picture of how everything ties together until pretty far into the story. Even something as crucial as the dream-based magic system isn't fully realized until near the end. I like the mystery of this approach, and I can appreciate how difficult it must be to keep the reader invested vs frustrating them with a lack of info. Jemisin consistently does a great job with this in everything I've read by her.

I did want a little bit more from the narcomancy aspect of the story, since dream worlds are such a huge part of Gujaareen religion and culture. In The Killing Moon we see just a few dreamscapes, and then only briefly. There's so much potential with narcomancy as a magic system, yet most of what we see is an outside, "real-world" perspective, which isn't terribly unique compared to other kinds of magic. Dreamblood being a narcotic (heh) with some Extra Fantasy Stuff is interesting, but I wanted more. Perhaps The Shadowed Sun expands on this. 

Characterization is the other Big Thing with this book, as it's very much a character-driven story. Overall I'm torn. There's some things I really liked, and others that felt underdeveloped. I'll go over my favorite things first.

Ehiru is probably the strongest of the main cast, and I really enjoyed his character arc. Here's a guy who is completely devoted to his faith, regardless of what others may think of it. Yet he's not a self-righteous dick. He sees Gathering as a loving and holy thing, so when he errs in the line of duty, it totally consumes him. And things just get worse and worse for him as the story progresses. Say what you will about the Gatherers and the belief system of Gujaareh; Ehiru comes off as intensely caring, devoted, and compassionate, and I genuinely felt bad for him throughout the novel. I'm not religious but these kinds of faith narratives are super interesting to me.

Looking at characterization as a whole, I appreciate The Killing Moon's gray morality. No one in the story is wholly good or evil. The Gatherers are an obvious example, considering they murder people in the dead of night in the name of their Goddess-- but do so to help those in need. Despite being a megalomaniacal mass-murderer, the Prince has believable reasons for his horrific actions, and they’re not wholly selfish. Even the Reaper is a clear victim of Dreamblood's addictive and mind-altering nature; it sometimes regresses into the person it used to be, which is sad and disturbing. There's a lot of moral complexity in the characters and the laws and belief systems they follow. This kind of nuanced writing is much more interesting to read than a black and white approach.

Beyond this, though, I struggled to connect with the other leads. Nijiri's utter devotion to Ehiru is basically his whole character, and while the tragedy of that is interesting for its own reasons, I kept wanting more from him. Sunandi is a good "outsider perspective" character but I had a hard time understanding her at times. For example, the two most important people in her life, Kinja and Lin, die in quick succession. Yet besides a brief outburst when Lin dies, this barely seems to affect her. I get people mourn in all kinds of ways but it seems odd. Her sexual tension with Ehiru is also weird and underdeveloped. Perhaps this is meant to be a callback to The Narcomancer, but it doesn't accomplish much in this narrative.

Another issue I had was emotional connection to minor-yet-important characters. Kinja dies offscreen before the story, yet is supposed to be a big part of Sunandi's past (and thus emotional arc). But he's never even in a flashback, so I never felt WHY he mattered to her. Una-une is the big one, though. It's pretty easy to figure out he's the Reaper by process of elimination, but he's barely in the story outside of a few early mentions. There's this part near the end that's clearly meant to be an emotional moment; Ehiru realizes his (apparently beloved) mentor Una-une is the horrific monster, and thus a foil to the situation between himself and Nijiri. But we never saw the relationship between Ehiru and Una-une, and nothing really established this prior... so there's no emotional payoff. It felt at times like this book was part of a much longer story that for whatever reason we never got to see. In some ways that can be useful to make the world and history seem vast, but here it made me feel emotionally distant from several characters. Perhaps flashbacks with these important characters would have helped bridge the gap. 

Credit where it's due, though; it's clear a lot of the dark, often brutal tone and stylistic flair in The Killing Moon was adapted into Jemisin's fantastic Broken Earth trilogy. Probably the most notable are the cryptic interlude chapters told from the perspective of a mysterious character whose identity is unknown until the end. We learn bits and pieces of the beliefs and lore of the world through excerpts of common laws and wisdom. I also liked the occasional stream-of-consciousness writing during tense or surreal moments. The Broken Earth is an improvement overall, but I can appreciate The Killing Moon for establishing some of these techniques early.

I enjoyed this book overall and am planning to read The Shadowed Sun. While I have some criticisms about The Killing Moon, I think it just suffers in comparison to other works I've read by Jemisin. It was still an entertaining and intense read, with a captivating and original world. It's not a story for the faint of heart, though, so please mind the content warnings.  

A dream come true! The Prince's Heart is getting a Voice Over

When we started The Prince's Heart, we never thought we'd find so many wonderful persons willing to collaborate on our project.  Here we are now, a month later, with an entire crew of professional and aspiring Voice Actors willing to help us realize our Visual Novel!

Special thanks to our amazing Casting Director, Jacob Wilson, who directed the whole Voice Over process.

Let's meet the entire cast (in order of appearance in the game)!

Nick Chang as Edward (Protagonist)

I was born in Manhattan, but raised in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania, where I currently reside. I also proudly identify as a 2nd generation Asian American (half Hong Kong via my mother, half Taiwanese via my father) and a member of the LGBTQIA+ community (gay and demisexual). Since childhood, I have had a distinct love of music and performance. Having played violin from 4th to 12th grade and sung for even longer, I used music as a primary means to express myself growing up. As I progressed from high school to college, I discovered online voice acting, but it was not until my time in graduate school that I formally decided to become an actor. My interest initially stemmed from a desire to help out in localization projects, but over the time I have spent voice acting, I have come to not only develop a great appreciation of the craft of acting, but also further deepen my love of music and rekindle my love of performance. With my singing experience as a basis to my unique perspectives, I hope to bring sensitivity, curiosity, and innovation to every project I work on!

Jacob Wilson as Adam

I’m a voice actor, Casting and voice director based in Dallas Texas. I’ve been working in this field for almost four years Now. It’s a journey that has taken me literally around the world and I’m so thankful for all I’m able to do and have accomplished. Being a part of amazing projects like this one are what fuel me to pursue my passions. I realized I was bisexual when I was 18. It’s a group in the LGBT+ community that continues to get flak from seemingly all over. But my faith in it and myself has always been unshaken. Outside of VO I am a drag artist in the making under the name “Twilight Stunning”, who I’m going to show more properly in the coming months! I’m so thankful I’m in the position I am, and I can’t wait to see what we have in store for y’all!

Bradley Gareth as Michael (Main Character)

Bradley was raised in Western Pennsylvania, learning piano from age 5 and taking up local community theater at age 10. He pursued the performing arts throughout high school, consistently participating in high school musicals and chorus festivals during his tenure there. At the end of high school, he also took multiple classes in musical composition and began doing online voiceover work.

During his time in college, Bradley participated in numerous professional and amateur voiceover productions both online and at the University of Pittsburgh's student radio station, WPTS Radio. While at WPTS, Bradley also began writing advertisements and online content for websites.

Now out of school, Bradley continues to lend his voice to multiple productions, dabble in musical composition, and provide content writing for WrightlySo.com.

Jared Prize as David (Main Character)

Singing provides me with some of the greatest joy in life. Outside of that, I love voice acting, hiking, and hanging with friends. My day job involves working with computers, so I like to find a bit of an escape into the creative-realm during my free time. My sexuality has always been a struggle, but I find comfort in not putting a label on it (at least for now). Mostly, I am very excited to be a part of an ambition team of lovely people. Working within a project like this brings excitement during the process, and even more-so while waiting for the final piece! I hope you enjoy what's to come xo

Marisa Duran as Lady Marie

Hey there, I’m Marisa Duran. I’m an actress working and living in Dallas, Texas.

I caught the "theatre bug" at a young age. My parents will tell you that it started when I was two years-old, dancing around to the Barney theme song. I agree wholeheartedly.

I grew up in a suburb on the east side of Dallas and was fortunate to have the opportunity to explore a city known for its rich culture and artistic influence. My passion for theatre was fueled by the many musicals that toured through town and I quickly decided that I wanted to spend the rest of my life as a professional actor.

In 2016 I graduated Magna Cum Laude from Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, Texas with my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Theatre, emphasis in Acting. Since then, I’ve had the privilege of working with multiple professional theatre companies in the DFW area. I’ve also expanded my career into the worlds of film and voiceover, landing roles in short films, webseries, and commercials, and lending my voice to over a dozen anime titles at FUNimation.

Art has the power to heal, to change, and to empower. As an artist, I believe that my purpose on this earth is to tell stories, and through these stories I hope to make a positive impact and leave people better than I found them. I consider it an honor to be able to use my talents in such a profound way.

Whenever I’m not rehearsing or recording, you can usually find me at my day-time marketing job, playing video-games, or drinking coffee at a local coffeeshop.

Kiba Walker as Zachariah

Born Arthur Lee Walker III in Tacoma, Washington, Kiba Walker is an American actor, musician, director, writer, and performer based out of Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas.

Kiba trained under the likes of various industry professionals such as Shane Sparks, Donyelle Jones, Tony Oliver, Betty "Waters" Kennedy, Chuck Huber, Sonny Strait, Chris Rager, Justine Reyes, Lorette Spicer, Bill Quinby, Angie Irons, Dan Lorge, Holly Clark Lorge, Spencer Christian, and many others. With 16 years of collective industry knowledge, Kiba has performed with the likes of Alice Underground, The Stereo Killers, Frankly Fictitious, CRVSH, Grant Davis, Ashley Ann Farley, Steve "Warky" Nunez, BASH!, Ryland Lynch, Ross Lynch, Will Jay, and more.

Voice over came to Kiba in his later years, around the age of 18, when he found his love doing an ask blog for Tumblr. From there, he took the craft seriously and networked profusely with various actors and companies in the voice over realm. His first roles were as Boku Temagawa in "Love Games" and Mike Connelly in "Zoolaplex".

Since 2014, he's been cast in various other projects including MY HERO ACADEMIA, HORIMIYA, GENSHIN IMPACT, FRUITS BASKET, ONE PIECE, SAINT SEIYA (2019 Sentai Dub), BLACK CLOVER, BOFURI! I DON'T WANNA GET HURT SO I'LL MAX OUT MY DEFENSE, CAUTIOUS HERO: THE HERO IS OVERPOWERED BUT OVERLY CAUTIOUS, CASE FILE NO.221 KABUKICHO, CAMP BUDDY, FULL SERVICE, TO TRUST AN INCUBUS, TO LOVE RU, O MAIDENS IN YOUR SAVAGE SEASON, EARTHLOCK, POPUP DUNGEON, SOMETHING IN THE DARK, RADIANT, and many more!

He's also directed such titles as FULL SERVICE, IDUEL: BATTLE  FOR STARDOM, ISHIDA & ASAKURA, THE TITAN'S BRIDE, and CAMP BUDDY.

As a musician now, Kiba currently has one album out, titled "XO", that released in May 2016. He runs a music channel called "KibaKovers", adapting anime and video game openings into English for a broader audience, as well as regular Top 40 covers. He is also one of the champions of the hit Fort Worth Drag Competition, The 3, as Salem Moon!

Mike Young as Sir Tiphis

Hello, I’m Mike Young. A dynamic, versatile and different British VP voice actor with gravitas, who can turn on various shades of Bristol, and run the spectrum of silky smooth, to warm and friendly.

Under the brilliant tutelage of Tanya Rich, my road to a professional voice acting career begin in 2018, having produced a wide variety of stories and audiobooks.

I lend my talent to a range of different projects:

Hard sell and soft sell commercial and corporate scripts

IVR for telephone systems and mobile apps

Instructional e-learning courses

Promotional adverts and trailers

Public service announcements

Character narration for video games, film, audio dramas and books

…and more!

I love it all, I do it all! And if you like what you hear, contact me! I’ll be sure to make your project gurt lush.

2020 in books

2020 was a year of changed reading habits; people reading more than ever or not at all, some changing their tastes and others turning to old comforts. While there weren’t any huge overhauls on my end, more free time did mean a total of 32 in a wider range of genres. In the past couple of years I found a lot of the things I read to be kind of middling and ranked them accordingly, but this year had some strong contenders in the mix. With college officially behind me I love nonfiction again, and I really need to stop being drawn in by novels with long titles that ‘sound interesting.’ A piece of advice to my future self: they will only make you angry.

The Good

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky I loved the BBC radio play when I first listened to it back in 2017, but didn’t know if I could stomach the idea of actually reading the 700-page book, especially since I already knew the plot (spoiler alert: this had no effect and I gasped multiple times despite knowing what was going to happen; Fyodor’s just that good at atmosphere.) The story follows Prince Lev Myshkin, a goodhearted but troubled man entering 1860s Petersburg high society and meeting all of the wretched people therein as he navigates life, laughs, love, unanswerable questions of faith, and human suffering. I care about it in the same way I think other people care about reality TV shows and soap operas. I’m so personally invested in the drama and feel so many different emotions directed at these clowns that it’s like being a fan of Invitation to Love (with an ending equally upsetting to that of the show ITL is from, Twin Peaks.)

Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlanksy I adored this book. The first half reads a little like a Wikipedia article, and I was worried that it was leaning too clinical and would be disaffected with colonialism and indigenous peoples, but even that oversight is corrected for as the text goes on. It’s not going to be for everybody because it really is just the world’s longest encyclopedia entry on, well, salt, but it’s written with such excitement for the topic and is so well-researched and styled for commercial nonfiction that I think it deserves any and all praise it’s gotten. We have to talk about that time Cheshire was literally sinking into the ground, and companies who were over-pumping brine water to steal each other’s brine water said ‘no it’s okay it’s supposed to that’ so were legally dismissed as suspects.

Midnight Cowboy by James Leo Herlihy Cried. 10/10. The plot of Midnight Cowboy is very classic and actually has a lot in common with The Idiot, as 20-something Joe Buck moves from the American Southwest to NYC and meets myriad challenges as a sex worker. I’ve been obsessed with the movie for a few years now and the book made me appreciate it anew; I think it’s rare for an adaptation to take the risk of being so different from its source material while still capturing its spirit. The movie doesn’t include quieter moments like the full conversation with Towny or time spent in the X-flat, nor does it attempt to touch Joe’s internal monologue or his and Rico’s extensive backstories, but these things are essential to the book and are some of the best and most affecting writing I’ve ever read. Finally! The Great American Novel!

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones I would firmly like to say that this is probably the best horror novel ever written. The setup is very traditional in that it’s about a group of friends facing supernatural comeuppance for a past mistake, but delivery on that premise is anything but familiar. A story about personal and cultural trauma that raises questions about what we owe to each other and what it means to be Blackfeet, with a cast that’s unbelievably real and sympathetic even at their absolute worst. Creepypasta writers trying to cash in on the cultural mythos of lumped-together tribes wish they were capable of writing something a tenth as gruesome and good as this. It could very well be a movie the visuals and writing style were so arresting, and I can’t wait to read whatever Jones writes next.

Found Footage Horror Films: Fear and the Appearance of Reality by Alexandra Heller-Nicholas This is the least accessible title on the list since it’s a college textbook for people with background in film, but it was so nice to read a woman unpacking film theory with the expertise and confidence it deserves that I have to rank it among the best. I had an absolute blast reading it and am going to have to stop myself from bringing up the horror of 1960s safety films as a cocktail icebreaker.

Blood in the Water: The Attica Prison Uprising of 1971 and Its Legacy by Heather Ann Thompson

The year’s toughest read by far, but also its most rewarding. Thompson uses mountains of documents, government-buried intel, and personal interviews to explain what happened at Attica from beginning to end, and does a fantastic job of balancing hard facts and ‘unbiased journalism’ with much-needed emotion and critical analysis. It’s more important reading in the 2020s than any kind of ‘why/how to not be racist’ book club book is going to be, and the historical context it provides is as interesting as it is invaluable. The second half drags a bit in going through lengthy trial processes with some assumed baseline knowledge of legalese (which I did not have. All that criminal minds in 2015… meaningless), but aside from that editing and prose are some of the best I’ve seen in nonfiction. 

The Bad

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn A friend and I decided to read this together because I’m obsessed with how insane the author is and wanted to know if he can actually write.

He cannot.

The Beautiful Thing That Awaits Us All by Laird Barron Barron is an indie darling of the horror fiction scene, so I was excited to finally read one of his collections but can now attest that I hate him. If you’re going to do Lovecraft please deconstruct Lovecraft in an interesting way. I had actually written a lot about the issues I have with how he develops characters and plots, but one of the only shorthand notes I took was “he won’t stop saying ‘bole’ instead of tree trunk” and I feel like that’s the only review we need.

Bats of the Republic by Zach Dodson Look up a photo of this author because if I had bothered to glance at the jacket bio I honest-to-god wouldn’t have even tried reading this.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone I went in with high expectations since this is an epistolary novella I’d seen praised on tumblr and youtube but oh my god was there a reason I was seeing it praised on tumblr and youtube. This is bad Steven Universe fanfiction. Both authors included ‘listening to the Steven Universe soundtrack throughout’ in the acknowledgements, and to add insult to injury there’s a plug from my nemesis Madeline Miller.

The 7½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton The premise of this one plays with so many tropes I like that I should have been more suspicious. It’s a dinner party with stock characters one would expect of Clue, and rather than our protagonist being the detective he’s a man with amnesia stuck in a 24-hour time loop. Body-hopping between guests, he must gather evidence using the skillsets of each ‘host’ until he either solves Evelyn Hardcastle’s murder or the limit of eight hosts runs out. I read a lot of not-very-good books, and it’s so, so much worse when they have potential to be fun. This is how you lose the most points, and how I abandon decorum and end up writing a list of grievances: • Our protagonist can only inhabit male hosts, which I think is a stupid writing decision not because I’m ‘woke’ but because wouldn’t it make sense for him to also be working with the maids, cooks, and women close to the murder victim? • Complaining about the limitations of hosts makes some sense (e.g- there’s a section where he thinks that it’s hard to be an old man because it’s difficult to get to the places he needs to be quickly), but one of his hosts is a rapist and one of his hosts is fat. Guess which one gets complained about more. • One of the later hosts is just straight-up a cop with cop knowledge that singlehandedly solves the case. We spend some time being like ‘wow I couldn’t have done it without the info all eight hosts helped gather’ but it was 100% the detective and he solves the murder using information he got off-screen. • The mystery itself is actually well-paced and I didn’t have a lot of issues with it (e.g, there’s a twist that I guessed only shortly before the end), which makes it all the worse that the metanarrative of this book is INSANE. No spoilers but the reveal as to why our unnamed protagonist is even in this situation is stupid. I just know they’re going to make it into a movie and I’m preemptively going to aaaaaaaaa!!!

Trust Exercise by Susan Choi The fact that this was the worst book I read all year, worse even than the bad Steven Universe fanfiction, and it won multiple awards makes my blood boil. I could rant about it for hours but just know that it’s a former theater kid’s take on perception and memory, and deals with sexual abuse in a way that’s handled both very badly and with a level of fake deepness that’s laughable. Select fake-deep quotes I copied down because at one point I said ‘oh barf’ aloud: -I’m filled with melancholy that’s almost compassion. It’s sad the same way. -[On a friendship ending] We almost never know what we know until after we know it. -Because we’re none of us alone in this world. We injure each other.

There are also bad sex scenes that I can’t quite make fun of because I think (HOPE?) they’re supposed to be a melodramatic take on how teenagers view sex, but I very much wanted to die. Flowers were alluded to. Nipples were compared to diamonds.

Honorable/Dishonorable Mentions (categorized as the same thing because, well,)

The Life and Death of Sophie Stark by Anna North This book was frustrating because the first third of it is fantastic. It’s set up to be a takedown of the manic pixie dream girl trope, jumping from person to person discussing their relationship with the titular Sophie, and indirectly revealing that she was just some girl and not the difficult and mysterious genius they all believed her to be. Then in the third act, BAM! She was that difficult and mysterious genius and she’s now indirectly brought all the people from her past together. I wanted to scream the plot beefed it so bad, but the good news is I really liked this octopus description.

It was the size of a three-year-old child, and it seemed awful to me that something could be so far from human and obviously want something as badly as it wanted to get out of the tank.

Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women by Kate Moore Cool new nightmare speedrun strat is to hear a 2-second anecdote from a documentary that people used to get radium poisoning from painting watch faces, be curious enough that you buy a book to learn more, and be met with medical and legal horror beyond anything you could have imagined. This was almost one of my favorite books of the year! Almost.

Radium Girls is very lovingly crafted and incredibly well-researched; one of those things that’s hard to get through but that you want to read sections of again as soon as you’ve finished. The umbrage I take with it is that it’s very Catholic. The author and many of her subjects are Irish and their religion is important to them, but it casts a martyr-y narrative over the whole thing that I found uncomfortable. Seventeen-year-old girls taking a factory job they didn’t know was dangerous are framed as brave, working-class heroes, but there’s not a set moral lesson to be gained from this story. Sarah Maillefer didn’t make “a sacrifice” when she agreed to the first radium tests, she agreed because she was terrified. She didn’t think she was helping she was begging for help.

The Mushroom at the End of the World: On the Possibility of Life in Capitalist Ruins by Anna Tsing Tsing is an incredibly skilled researcher and ethnographer; there are so many good ideas in this book that I’d almost consider it essential leftist text… if I could stand the way it was structured. Tsing posits that because nature is built on precariousness she will build her book the same way, allowing it to grow like a mushroom, and thus chapters don’t progress linearly and are written more like freeform poetry than a series of academic arguments. Some people are really going to love that, but I’m me and a mushroom is a mushroom and a book is a book. I don’t think in the way Tsing does, and while I tried to keep an open mind it’s hard to play along when something is this academically dense and makes so many ambitious claims. As if to prove how different our structuring methods are, I’ve made my own thoughts into a pros and cons list

Things I liked: • ‘Contamination’ as something inherent to diversity • ‘Scalability’ as a flawed way of thinking (Tsing has written whole essays about this that I find very compelling, but a main example here is that China and the US have come down on Japanese matsutake research for being too ‘site specific’ and not yielding enough empirical data) • Discussing how Americans were so invested in self-regulating systems in the 1950s we thought they could be applied to literally everything, including ecosystems • “The survivors of war remind us of the bodies they climbed over- or shot- to get to us. We don’t know whether to love or hate the survivors. Simple moral judgements don’t come to hand.” • Any and all fieldwork Tsing shares is amazing; I especially liked reading about the culture of mushroom pickers living in the Cascades and their contained market system

Things I didn’t like: • Statements that sound deep but aren’t, e.g- “help is always in the service of another.” (Yep. That’s what that means. Unless an organism is doing something to help itself which then nullifies your whole opening argument.) • A very debatable definition of utilitarianism • “Capitalism vs pre-capitalism,” which seems like an insanely black-and-white stance for a book all about finding hidden middle ground • A chapter I found really interesting about how intertwined Japanese and American economies are, but it tries to cover the entire history of US-Japan relations. Seriously, starting with Governor Perry and continuing through present day, this could have been a whole different book and it’s a good example of what I mean when I say arguments feel too scattered (the conclusion it reaches is that in the 80s the yen was finally able to hold its own against the dollar. Just explain that part.) • A chapter arguing that ‘true biological mutualism’ is rarely a focus of STEM and is a new sociological development/way of thinking which is just… flat-out not true

For all the comparisons art gets to ‘being on a drug trip’ this anthropology textbook has come the closest for me. Moments of profound human wisdom, intercut with things I had trouble understanding because I wasn’t on the same wavelength, intercut with even more things that felt false or irrelevant. I can’t put it on the nice list but I am glad I read it.

(Long post incoming. You have been warned)

Reasons Niki is Excited for the Diamond/Pearl Remakes:

Diamond was Baby Niki’s first Pokémon game and I don’t think I could even begin to express the impact that game had on me. My gaming life was practically dominated by Pokémon from age 10 to 18, and it all began in the Sinnoh region. So yes, Nostalgia is a big factor in this.

I have wanted a 3D Sinnoh remake ever since I played Pokémon X for the first time. Being able to see the Pokémon actually move and emote brought so much immersion to the Pokémon experience for me, and pairing that with the deep, expansive lore that the Sinnoh games offered is the perfect union of my two favorite elements from the series. 

Like a lot of people, I was initially put off by the oddly-proportioned chibi overworld sprites, but it is already beginning to grow on me. I think the idea was to capture the look and feel of the original DS games as much as possible, and to that effect, I think this art style does really well. Everything else about the game looks very crisp and nice to me. The environments are lovely, the backgrounds are interesting, and most importantly, the Pokémon are heckin’ cute. 

I didn’t have access to the wireless functions in the original game as a kid. I didn’t get to experience connecting with others online until X and Y. And with the confirmation that the Underground will be returning in the remakes, I am so excited to finally be able to have the full D/P experience that I missed as a kid.

I’ve been really disenchanted with the mainline Pokémon games for the past few years. I think Sun/Moon is where I began to feel disconnected from the series, like it wasn’t bringing me the sense of childlike wonder and excitement that it used to. I initially chalked this up to my simply becoming an adult, but then I played Pokemon Let’s Go Eevee, and found myself sucked into that little game almost as much as the games of my childhood. Looking back on it now, I think maybe it was an issue of immersion for me. With the demands of both fans and whoever is forcing Game Freak to produce a new main series title every flipping year, a lot of immersion had to be sacrificed for the sake of getting the game out on time. Because Pokémon Let’s Go was a comparatively smaller game that only featured 152 Pokémon, the developers were able to spend more time making the environments and the Pokémon feel more alive. We got Pokémon following you, Shinies appearing in the overworld, Pokémon you could ride, dynamic backgrounds for battles, clean lines and lag-free rendering...none of which were carried over into Sword/Shield, because that game was simply way too big for the amount of time they gave themselves to make it. For me, if you simply cannot give yourself the amount of time needed to make a massive game feel polished and immersive, you should stick to creating a smaller game with less content, and more polish. I’ve always been a Quality over Quantity person, I guess, and Pokémon main series games were not delivering on that front for me anymore. 

BUT with the D/P remakes, I am already beginning to see that a great deal of the Quality I want is going to be delivered; Pleasant scenery with clean lines and nice colors (instead of the strangely blurry mess that was Sword/Shield’s environments), a significantly high chance that there will be far fewer lag/rendering issues, and a faithful adaptation of one of the few Pokémon main series games with a story and world that I can legitimately lose myself in. (Oh I dearly hope they’ve kept the Legendaries as terrifying as they were in the originals...). 

I guess for me, I do not need a Pokémon game to blow me away with something new. Simply having them improve on what has already worked in the past is enough of a reason for me to come back and buy the newer titles. I wouldn’t mind having the series go in a completely new direction, create something that we’ve never seen before, give us the ultimate Pokémon experience with insanely good graphics and mind-blowing story--but given how much they struggled with Sword/Shield, I’m beginning to think that that is just too much to ask for when Game Freak absolutely refuses to let a year pass without cranking out a new title (this is why I’m still a little skeptical about Pokémon Legends: Arceus, and am withholding any excitement over that one until we have more information). Big games take time to be made well, and since Game Freak has made it clear they do not want to give themselves that time, I’m more interested in seeing them use what time they do give themselves in the most efficient and beneficial way possible. 

In keeping with the above point, the trailer explicitly said that the only Pokémon available in the D/P remakes will be the ones that were present in the original games. Again, I think this is a smart move on their part, because it means they can devote more time to making the Pokémon they do have feel more alive and full of personality, rather than having to pour all their time into programming in the literal 1,000+ Pokémon there are now. I know this kind of thing will upset a lot of people, but again, I’m more about the Quality over the Quantity.  But we'll see if Game Freak was able to deliver on that front like I’m hoping.

THE MUSIC. ‘Nuff said. 

While the trailer made it clear that they are trying to stick as close to the original games as possible, I am holding on to the hope that they will have made the necessary quality of life changes: the return of the optional Exp Share that lets all the Pokémon in your party gain xp from a battle, the elimination of HM moves that take up a battle slot, and an easier way to customize Pokémon EVs, such as candies or the Super Training feature from Gen VI (seriously why did they take that out in Gen VII???). Game Freak has slowly been inching forward with the series these last few years, introducing small changes that greatly improve the gameplay as a whole, and I think there’s good enough reason to hope that they will be smart enough to incorporate those changes into D/P remakes. 

I’m a little mystified that the general response to the remake announcements is already so overwhelmingly apathetic and even negative. I can understand not liking the art style, but for me, art direction is only one small component to a game, and even if it isn’t done perfectly, it can still be made up for in other areas. The fandom has been pestering for Sinnoh remakes for years, and now that Game Freak is trying to give us what we want, I would have thought more of us would be making a more positive fuss about it. Then again, the original game is 15 years old now. Most of us who played it have probably already moved on from the franchise as a whole. But for me, I know I’m going to buy this remake and enjoy it, even if it has imperfections. Because really, that’s all I want from a Pokémon game--to feel like a kid again and have a good time. Maybe it’s simplistic and naïve, but that’s just Niki in a nutshell for you. ✨

Magia Record: Reflecting on the Anime and the Game’s Story Ending

With Magia Record's story now complete in-game and with the anime "finished" (only the first season, but it took until literally this past weekend for the production team at Shaft to acknowledge that the second season is coming/inevitable), I have like… a ton of thoughts about where the game and the anime landed.

This will probably mostly be gripes, but overall, I'm still pretty happy with both. I've invested my past year into Magia Record during a lot of my free time, and hey – no regrets here. That game was absolutely worth the experience. The anime? Jury's still out somewhat, but it looks good so far.

This is definitely a normal thing to find surrounding a radio tower.

Anime Adaptation Thoughts:

The original Madoka Magica anime made the world feel slightly off-kilter by employing locations that were just a little off the rails from reality. The producers noted Madoka's bathroom as an important example; it's simply too large and has too much wasted space. It's maybe the biggest room in their house for no discernible reason, and that's by design, because it feels wrong. Another one was the music store we see in the first episode, where the technology is noticeably on a level that you just can't find in any real shop. On the flip side, the Magia Record anime creates a world that is deeply bizarre in many ways – much moreso than the original anime or the Magia Record game world. This is probably because the creator of the witch designs in the original was given far more creative control over the series as a whole this time around, and the result was BUGNUTS. Take note of the massive stack of discarded school desks that is arranged in a dangerous, precarious pile atop the school building (helpfully labeled as a waste pile, despite the fact that… well, who is picking up these garbage desks from the goddamn roof?). That's some imagery straight out of a witch's labyrinth, but it is ostensibly "reality." I think that's where Magia Record's anime really goes bugnuts, sometimes to powerful effect in that it makes things feel more unsettling… and sometimes to ridiculous effect. I mean, the field surrounding the radio tower now being replaced with a yard of jagged, cockeyed, towering gravestones and cross-like woodwork dangling with ropes and tridents? That's a LOT. That's… that's too much.

Look, if you were a die-hard fan of Kaede in the game, I am deeply sorry, because your girl got done DIRTY by the anime. Anyone who played the game who then sees where she winds up at the end of episode 12 is likely on a train straight to Double-You Tee Eff Station. I can't deny that it makes sense for the limited story she's given to develop across, but it was still disappointing to see. I suppose we don't really have the time to develop up all of the other characters from the game, so somebody had to sub in for this role… but oof.

Sana's backstory with her family is not nearly explained or explored enough in the show. I honestly think it comes off as confusingly unclear why they treated her like this or why they didn't notice her vanish at all. The game justifies this devastatingly well, but it feels like it's not clear at all here.

I think they could've had Kyubey run around Kamihama for part of the first season before he got ousted/blocked, and I think it would've been beneficial to do so. Now, that's not just because I love his character and find him fascinating, although that's definitely true, but it's also because there's so much exposition that I wish he could deliver to the characters about what's happened before we got here. Like, the tragic truth about Felicia's backstory is wonderfully awful, and I wish there was some way to deliver that into the anime, but I don't think it's possible without a ton of flashbacks. (And to be fair, players of the game may never know it without playing her particular Magical Girl Story.)

The change to not having Mami attack Yachiyo when they first meet was something I felt was a positive move. I loved that Mami got to have a moment she never had in the game during the Radio Tower arc, too. In generally, I enjoyed the slower, more piecemeal involvement of the original Holy Quintet, which has served as nice slow tease compared to having them be more upfront in the game. I did kind of miss the Madoka/Homura involvement in the radio tower case, but I ultimately came away feeling like it was better to save those two for later in the story because they're probably the best-known characters from the original series.

The combat soundtrack is exquisite - maybe better than ever before, honestly. The Magia Record anime has the best fight music in the series outside of, say, Rebellion.

Game's Ending Thoughts: (Spoilers Within)

The anime cutscenes in the final chapter are delightful.

Puella Magi has never shied away from having its characters die in the original anime or in the many manga stories. I'd argue that those deaths are at least part of what makes it such a successful subversion of the Magical Girl formula; the threat of death (often via witchiness) establishes the idea of there being permanent consequences that simple hope and faith and love can't overcome in spite of what those other anime may have told you. On the other hand, Magia Record turns out to have very close to zero consequences. Aside from established deaths from flashbacks that have occurred before the game even begins, by the end of the game, literally no one dies. Not even the most blatantly psychotic character is allowed to shuffle off her mortal coil; she just "disappears" and escapes. I particularly like (please note the sarcasm) how three different characters do some kind of "super-move" during the final two chapters that is said to most likely kill them, and yet they all survive them! At least ONE character winds up with some paralysis, but jeez, the others walk away completely unscathed. I can only hope the anime doesn't go quite so weak in the knees about any of the characters suffering actual consequences from the potentially-world-ending-level battles that occur.

I previously griped that I actually expected the psychos responsible for the entire storyline to get off scot-free, and although they don't get off 100% free and clear by the time the credits role, they come extremely close to doing so. However, I was really happy with the "Cherry Blossom Dreams" epilogue event, because there is dialogue in there that has the Magius admit that whatever guilt they have now, they are still capable of being complete sociopaths who want to dominate the Earth. That one person's presence (Ui) shouldn't be (and isn't) enough to keep them from being incredibly dangerous. Ultimately, the solution/punishment they receive is probably the best one available in light of their overall survival. Well done.

Speaking of the Magius, I mean… is it really possible that so many feathers never questioned that they were following a couple of 11/12-year-olds and one blatantly obvious psychotic? I guess having face time with the Magius was pretty rare, but there was still enough that some of the feathers declared their allegiance was primarily to those three above all else. And most magical girls range closer to 16 than to 11, I mean, y'know? Which is practically an eternity in terms of maturity. So I guess MIfuyu did a lot of heavy lifting on NOT making them seem like absolutely the worst possible choices for leadership, huh? (And for that reason: Mifuyu got off fucking LIGHT.)

Aaaand speaking of "one obvious psychotic," I find it funny how almost nobody knows Alina outside of her Magius role except for Karin. Because, just… it's so perfect. Karin (who is not a "Karen") happens to be the most insanely tolerant person when it comes to Alina. She seems to shrug off Alina's entire everything as amusing, forgivable quirks. Perhaps because so many people believe Karin's own obsession with Halloween is a weirdly morbid quirk, Karin doesn't even question Alina's obsession with making art about death using actual human remains. Which is… funny? No, seriously. I think it's legitimately comedic in a good way. But it should probably be much more alarming to me that she doesn't care. I'd like to think that Karen feels it's just delightfully Halloween-y for Alina to paint her canvas with legit blood, and I do believe Karin isn't really the kind of person who would ask where the blood came from because whatever, it's probably fine, better get back to planning my pageant or something. She probably even thinks Alina's skulls are plastic Halloween decorations. :P

We need to talk about Mami: Mami in "Another Story Chapter 9" felt so off and out-of-character compared to how she was written in things like Rebellion or A Different Story or Wraith Arc, and furthermore, despite that chapter being entirely about Mami wanting to just be a simple peer with no superiority over the rest of the Holy Quintet, Another Story Chapter 10 has her immediately revert back to being the smart senpai character, further cementing how weirdly "off" Chapter 9 felt. I realize they had something difficult to write, here, though. It's painful how Sayaka has to run middlewoman between Kyoko and Mami in Chapter 10 of AS. I feel like I could write a whole screed about Kyoko's behavior across the franchise and how difficult a character she is for me to like even though I "get it" and don't think she's necessarily a bad person; she's just living on the edge of being almost a total hypocrite basically ALL THE TIME. The conclusion where Kyoko acknowledges that she's going to continue to work with Mami and the others semi-regularly in spite of everything is really the best closure you can hope for with her. She's too antagonistic to give us much else, and she prefers it that way. It would take years to see her mellow.

At this point, it seems safe to assume that there isn't going to be any "season 2" of the game like what happened with Fate/Grand Order after its finale. The main narrative is well and truly done, and it's just going to be various events from here on out. Is that enough to keep me around? Um. I don't know. Probably not? Hard to say. I don't really know what other mobile game to throw my heart into. I've considered Attack on Titan Tactics, but like… Attack on Titan hasn't been kind to me lately so uhhhhh.

survey by skiesofsunshine

What would you honestly do if you had a million dollars? I’d have to pay off my debt of course. I’d also pay off my parents’ and brother’s debts. Then I’d buy us a house and furnish it and whatnot. I’d love to be able to travel and stuff, but that would obviously have to wait. There’s also some other personal stuff I’d want to take care of.

Do you pretend to be something you're not to make friends? I mean, I might try to seem like I’m not a complete mess at first but it’ll come out sooner or later (sooner). I’m also not as good at hiding it anymore.

When was the last time someone disappointed you? I’m a constant disappointment to myself.

Are you still in school? No, I graduated university back in 2015.

Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? I gotta take it day by day, man. It terrifies me to think what things might be like in 10 years and I don’t wanna think about it.

Are you more of a shy or outgoing person? I’m a very shy person.

How many hours of sleep per night do you usually get? Maybe like 4-5. 

Would you rather listen to new music or the classics? There’s no reason for me to have a preference as I enjoy a good selection from both. <<< Yeah, my Spotify has a lot of both.

Can you do a cartwheel? Nope.

What does friendship mean to you in your life? Well, currently I don’t have any friends.

What is the closest yellow thing next to you? There’s yellow bulbs on the multicolor string of lights I have strung around my dresser. 

Do you currently feel any sadness? Yes. I’m a sad, sensitive, sleepy gal. That’s who I am.

Are you more of an athlete or artist? I am most definitely neither one. I do like to color, though, so can that put me on the artist side? ha.

Is it hard for you to break the ice with new people? Yes.

What do you think was the stupidest movie ever created? Oh boy. That’s hard to choose.

Who is your hero and why? My mom.

If you could be someone else for a week, who would it be? Perhaps a functioning and responsible adult who’s doing a job they love, they’re happy, in a healthy, loving relationship, and have a social life just to see what it feels like.

What do you want people to remember you for when you die? I don’t want to think about that.

Do you always respond to chain letters? I never responded to chain letters. 

Would you rather text someone or call them? If I need to contact someone I would rather text them, most definitely.

What are you afraid of most? Losing my loved ones, death, getting worse/never getting better, never doing anything with my life...

Do you spend too much time online? What’s too much? I don’t feel like I spend as much time as I used to.

Are you the type to procrastinate? I’m a PROcrastinator. 

What is your biggest annoyance? Where to begin....

Do you use any drugs? I take prescription medication, but that’s it.

Do you believe that you'll always be a kid at heart? Yeah.

Are you currently in a relationship? No.

What do you like to do for fun? I wouldn’t say it’s fun, per se, but my days consist of checking my social medias, watching TikToks and YouTube videos, reading, watching TV, doing surveys, and playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I like doing those things; they give me something to do and can serve as a distraction. 

Do you have a job? No.

Can you type without looking at the keyboard? Yeah. I’ve been able to do that for a very long time now. I’ve been using the computer since I was a kid and I’m 31 now, sooo.

What is something you want to improve on this year? Not sure what I could really do with the little time left. Another wasted year for me. I can’t even blame COVID because the past few years have come and gone and I don’t do anything.

Do you have any pets? I have a doggo. She’s a 3 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia. 

What is your dream car? I don’t have one.

How many times a day do you get angry? I don’t get angry easily, but I do get moody, irritable, and frustrated all the time. :/

If you could, would you want to stay young forever? If I could just stay this age even that would be fine.

Are the books better or worse than the movies? The books are always better, c’mon. But the movie adaptions aren’t always bad. I’ve enjoyed several, even when certain changes are made (depending on what they are of course). Sometimes it really adds to it and it’s cool. It’s fun seeing the characters and story come alive on screen. Of course, there are many that just really miss the mark and are a complete mess as well. 

Are you afraid of the dark? I loved that show as a kid, ha. Anyway, I mean... I sleep with the TV on for sound AND light cause I don’t like it completely quiet or dark. I could sit in my room with the lights off and be fine, but it’d be weird and I’d want to do something haha so I wouldn’t do it for long, but not because I’d be scared. I wouldn’t want to be home alone and have a power outage, though. I most certainly wouldn’t walk around anywhere alone at night. I wouldn’t want to even with someone. Sooo, to answer the question...kind of? *shrug*

If you could eat any food you want right now, what would it be? I kinda want ramen, but I don’t think I’ll make it tonight. Shocking, I know.

Are you a racist person? No.

Do you ever feel like people use you? I’m not of any use to anyone right now, but I’ve felt that way in the past.

Do you keep in contact with your friends during the summer? I don’t have any friends.

What is your favorite month of the year? October and December.

Does bad grammar get on your nerves? Depends.

If you were going to die right now, what would your last words be? Uhh, I have no idea?

Does Jeopardy make you feel dumb? Ha, yeah. But when I answer correctly you bet your ass I own the hell out of it hahah.

What is/was your worst subject in school? Math. 

Are you a sarcastic person? I have my sarcastic moments.

What role does religion play in your life? I am a Christian and have been reading and studying the Bible regularly and joining Bible study groups online and really building my faith and relationship with God for the past few years.

Can you sleep with your eyes open? No. I’ve seen someone do that and it’s quite creepy.

1/6/2021 DAB Chronological Transcription

Job 10 - 13

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I am Jill. And it is really, really awesome to be here with you reading the Bible. It's the sixth day of January, I have almost made it a week. You've almost made it a week. Well done. Well done on day six, you know what, we're not going to wait for a week to celebrate, let's celebrate day 6. You're doing it. You know, it's one of those things. Maybe this is one of those things. You're like, I'm going to read the Bible in a year, the beginning of the year. Brand new goal, brand new resolutions. You know, people still make those. There's nothing wrong with those. I just find they don't last. I like goals, dreams, attainable, achievable things you can check off. They all have their place, right. No matter your story, no matter if you're brand new, starting off, if you are as faithful as old faithful, this is a part of your daily rhythm. And you've been here from nearly the beginning or a solid year, solid five years. We're celebrating on day six because I feel like we don't celebrate enough. Right. We're through day six. Congratulations. Well, we're starting days. You know what? Let's read the Bible. We're reading today. We're still in Job. We're listening to Job dialogue back and forth with his friends. We're identifying the things that have come out of our own mouth that we have said to people with good intentions, even even good meaning, Jesus loving people, we can say all of the wrong things. And I think if we pay really close attention, I think we're going to hear our own voice continue on in this story today. Job chapters 10 - Chapter 13 today. And we're reading in the Christian standard Bible.

Commentary

We're getting a really up close look at a very intimate conversation between Job and his friends. His friends that are ultimately trying to do the right thing by comfort him, console him. They're trying to snap his reasoning back into alignment. I mean, is that not what tragedy will do? It will just take you right off of any sense of equilibrium. And so I just wonder, where do you find yourself in this conversation? Because if I'm being honest, I have needed consolation when I've been silent and I have needed silence when I have been consoled. I have heard the voice of the Holy Spirit say, quiet, you don't say a word, and still said it. And later wished I hadn't inserted the shoe into my mouth to chew on. And I could even tell you that in recent years I have learned the power of silence. I have learned the power of saying nothing. And the thing about the power of nothing is it requires discipline. And we're not very disciplined people. We like to fill in the space with noise. And so if people's expectation is for an opinion because they want to have their opinion validated. They will misinterpret the power of silence, silence often is translated into weakness, or that you have nothing to say. When in truth, I mean there's a song written about it, the greatest way to say something is to say nothing at all. And I think we all have been on both ends of this, where we're speaking from our grief, we're spoking, speaking from our fatigue, our confusion, our frustration. I mean, if I'm just being honest 2020, I heard more people say they were absolutely fatigued, exhausted, exhausted from hearing opinions. And the thing about opinions is if we don't have one, we'll pick up somebody else's. And even in the context of Christian culture, we have we have sayings that we adapt and we are good, meaning people that love Jesus with all of our hearts and we can say all of the wrong things. We can get it so wrong. I've gotten it really wrong. I have learned the second you go overboard and you can't take it back and you're like reaching over the edge and you already let it go, it is on its way down. I think within the context of Christian culture, we say things. We've heard them. We like how they sound, we like how the person looked saying it, so we adapt a phrase or we adapt a saying to be culturally relevant. The thing I've learned about cultural relevance is sometimes it is not Kingdom relevant. It's good for this world. It's good for this social media. It's good for this sound bite in this clip, in this meme. But it's not truth, in the realm of kingdom relevancy. So this conversation is going to continue and you're going to still be able to identify yourself in both sides. But the thing about sides is somebody has to be right and somebody has to be wrong. Right. But we're going to have to see how this continues and how this plays out.

Prayer

So, Jesus, we are coming face to face with our words, with difficult conversations, with good intentions and bad bad phrases. We're coming to terms with the fact that we create noise in the uncomfortability of silence. And we're coming face to face with the adaptation of cliches that we've heard that we like. That might not necessarily be your truth. And sometimes we just have to sit in the discomfort before there can be resolve, and it's really uncomfortable. So come and sit with us. In the discomfort of our own humanity, of our own good intentions and our honest attempts at being seen and being heard and being right. We're listening, father, and we are paying close attention oh, how we love you, oh, how we want to do better, help us even now by teaching us and guiding us. And I ask this in the name of the father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Announcements

Dailyaudiobible.Com, it's the website. Hey, if you guys have got the app, you can just maneuver all over the place on that thing. If you'd like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, we so appreciate your partnership. You can give on the app and the right hand corner at the give button. You've got a prayer request or an encouragement for somebody else that has already called in with prayer requests. You can do that in the app. Just hit the little red button next to the give button up at the top. You can check out our social media channels, as always, we're there Daily Audio Bible, DAB friends, Daily Audio Bible Women, shout out to all my ladies there. I love them so very much. Love interacting with you all. I wish we could do it face to face. But for now, the Lord allows Facebook. That's it for me today. I'm Jill. I love you. I'll be here with you tomorrow and until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line

Hi, this is Rose calling from Illinois, and I just want to welcome Jill to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological. I haven't called in a long, long time, but I've been listening since, I think 2007. And Jill, I just want you to know we are so grateful to have you here. Yes, we will miss China, but we are so grateful that the DABC is continuing and you are doing it. So we will have all the grace that you need. And we just want to thank you for reading it for us. We'd rather have you reading it than it not being read at all. And I just hope this comes across in the right way. We will miss China, but we so appreciate you coming coming aboard. And I just want to thank you and welcome you and bless you. And I know that you will be awesome because I've heard you step in for Brian. And I know if God had you to do this, we will also learn things from you, just like we learned from China. And I just want to say thank you for continuing to read for us.

Hi there. This is Anchored In His Peace. I just completed one year of listening to Brian and I am going to try being a Double DABber. And Jill, I can't compare you to China. And so this is brand new and fresh to me. And I'm so glad that you've taken up and the need and stepped in the gap and are taking this on. And I just welcome you and I thank you for this ministry. And I just wish you peace in the new year as you take on this commitment. And so many thank you's in advance for all the days to come with you in this role. Blessings.

Hi, this is Melody from Canada. I want to say thank you Jill, so much for holding China's place in line and sharing your heart. I just listened to January 1st, and almost brought tears to me, because my daughter is two years old and I was just thinking about the legacy and the relationship that you all have with each other. And that's definitely hope I have for her. And yeah, I'm really hoping to connect on this journey with you all. I say that every year, and I always I never quite make it to every day, but it is a blessing. And yeah. Looking forward

Hi this is to China. China, I got a little behind at the end of the year again, so I jumped into the new year. But I'm, I'm going back to finish and I got to the last day. I'm I'm having a hard time not crying. I want to thank you for listening to God and for going in this direction. This has been a tremendous blessing in my life. The majority of my life, actually, almost every single year, my life has been very, very dark. China, I've been with you about two years off and on, but this year I became a Double DABber. I don't remember June or July. And I could not be more blessed by listening to God's word every day and the commentary from you and your dad and becoming a part of this beautiful fellowship of believers, you will never leave us. We will think of you as we listen to your mom reading the Bible chronologically and I pray major blessings over you, Ben, and your little precious baby girl. Bye bye.