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#what a dilf you know

jabberwick · 16 days

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Human Bill Cipher

(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)

And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.

#And also: i know #i know the mayor of halloween town. I know guys.#twink death dilf birth #bill cipher #gravity falls #boy oh boy im anxious about posting this here please be nice to me #“the design deoesnt fit the voice” ?? idk man like. what if it did though.#you can draw him! i dont mind #no need to ask (:

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visceravalentines · 1 year

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What did you do for Easter, Meg? Oh you know, colored eggs and wrote sacrilegious porn, hbu? Couldn't stop thinking about the comments on this post so surprise whores here you go

Worship

Dilf!Bo Sinclair x AFAB!Reader

Bo has a few sins to confess and in the process he commits a whole bunch of new ones.

2.5k words. Smut. Super blasphemy, like so bad, and lots of religious ideas and phrasing. Oral (fem!receiving) and PnV sex in a semi-public extremely inappropriate place w/ creampie at the end bc that's what we deserve. Soft Bo, almost sub Bo if you squint. Reader wears a dress & heels and uses she/her pronouns. Extensive liberties taken with confessional booth architecture and suit pants physics.

A note: this can be read as a non-chronological part of my ongoing dilf Bo series or as a standalone.

You haven't been in this church since you were a teenager. Your eyes wander up and over the stained glass, the soaring rafters. It's a beautiful building, stately, tranquil.

"Got somethin' I need to confess," Bo whispers with his lips against your ear. Goosebumps roll down your skin.

You shoot a sidelong glance down the pew at your parents, less than two feet away. They're holiday Catholics and the sermon has them rapt, like tourists watching a wild animal from the safety of their vehicle.

You incline your head subtly in Bo's direction and hold your breath so you don't miss his next words.

"I can't get you outta my head."

You exhale slowly and shift on the bench, careful not to set the ancient wood creaking. When you sneak a look at him, he's the picture of innocence, taking in the gospel like a man who doesn't need it. You clasp your hands on your lap.

Casually, like he's commenting on the father's delivery, Bo leans in again and murmurs, "Bet you'd let me touch you here, huh? Get my hands under that little skirt...."

You shiver and shift. The bench tattles on you and your mother sends a reprimand your way with her eyes. You tug the hem of your skirt towards your knees and try to channel a modicum of the faux virtue sitting to your left.

He quiets down and behaves himself for just long enough that the flame flickering in your center dies down to an almost-appropriate level, but the heat of his leg against your bare thigh keeps you from turning all your thoughts to God. The weight of his hand on the small of your back as he guides you out of the pew for Communion is a stitch past purity. The look he manages to slip you as the father places the wafer in his open mouth makes you feel like you need to get back in line for a second pass at contrition, and maybe this time you'll mean it.

His hand brushes across your ass as you scoot back into the pew and you think about obedience, how you hate to be told what to do but you'd drop to your knees for him right now, right here, if he'd promise to quell the simmer he's started between your legs.

The father is thanking those who helped prepare the picnic on the lawn outside and Bo props his arm on the back of the bench, leans close and lets his lips graze your skin, and whispers, "Meet me up there once everybody's outside." He gestures with a nod.

You look at him with wide eyes. "The confessional?" you hiss.

He winks at you.

You follow your parents out onto the green, but Bo doesn't follow you. In fact you lose him immediately in the crowd, can't help but search for him among the abundance of pastel dresses and khaki suits. You agree vapidly with everything your mother says about the mass, nod politely at all your dad's closest acquaintances.

You excuse yourself at the second or third possible opportunity, afraid of running into the father if you sneak back too soon. Your footsteps are deafening in the now silent sanctuary, your eager uncertainty echoing back at you like an accusation.

Bo is nowhere to be seen, but neither is the clergy, so you step lightly across the stone floor and approach the confessional booth. The penitent's bench is hardly private, hung with a red curtain that only conceals from the waist up. You duck instead into the priest's chamber and inch the door closed behind you, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding once you're safely out of sight.

The small space is dimly lit by a single bulb recessed in the ceiling and the fractured light coming in through the screen on the one side. There's a bench built into the back wall and furnished with a velvet cushion. You sit, adjusting your skirt, and think about guilt.

Abruptly the door flies open and Bo slips inside, closing it all the way behind him. He's appropriately debonair in a blue suit, white shirt, no tie. For a moment, he looks a touch harried, glancing over his shoulder to be sure the door is closed. But then he looks down at you, meets your gaze, and flashes you a grin.

"Well what do we have here?"

You move to stand and he shakes his head, fighting to shrug off his suit coat in the confined space. "Don't get up, darlin', you're perfect right there. Betcha this is the first time anyone with tits has sat in that seat."

You giggle, a touch nervous. He reaches his hand out for yours and brings your knuckles to his lips. His mustache prickles your skin.

"You enjoy the mass?"

You're not sure if he's serious. "...parts of it, yeah."

He smiles. "Which parts?"

You open your mouth for a sharp reply but your gaze is hung up on his lips and when he shifts his weight you become unbearably aware of how close his bulge is to your face.

Bo laughs low and squeezes your hand. "I myself had a hard time focusin' on the good word. Had my mind on...other things." He eyes you with something like mischief. "I was hopin' maybe you could help me...unburden myself."

The smell of him is slowly permeating the tiny space, overwriting the stuffy scent of incense and oiled wood with tobacco and aftershave. He barely fits, too tall, shoulders too broad. He could swallow you whole and you wish he would.

"Anything you want," you say softly.

Bracing himself against the walls, he sinks to his knees in front of you. The pattern of the screen is emblazoned on his face in light. The wood pops and creaks. You remember to breathe.

"I'm a sinner, darlin'." He gazes up at you through those lashes, smiling sheepishly, big hands curving around your calves. "Done too much wrong to confess. Can't even remember it all."

You touch his cheek, brush your thumb over the crow's feet at the corner of his eye. "Start small."

His hands slide down to your ankles and he works at the strap of your heels with ungainly fingers. "I been tellin' lies, baby." He slips off one shoe and starts on the other. "Your mama asked me if I've been seein' anyone and I said no." His thumb runs along the arch of your foot. "Your daddy asked me if I knew where you was the other night and I told him I didn't have a clue."

He wraps his fingers around your ankles and squeezes gently, and then pulls your legs open. You stifle a gasp, try to press your thighs together to maintain a smidgen of modesty.

Bo kisses your knees. His hands creep up the outside of your legs. "Been gamblin'. Riskin' my reputation, my livelihood."

"Why would you do that?" you whisper.

He grins against your skin. His fingers are sneaking beneath your skirt. "Well y'see, there's this girl...."

You bite your lip as he curls one finger around the waistband of your panties on either side and tugs them down your thighs.

"She ain't for me...but she's all I want. And that's another thing." He tucks your panties in his pocket and you pretend you don't notice. "I been plagued by lustful thoughts. Day and night I'm thinkin' about this girl, thinkin' about the sounds she makes...picturin' her underneath me...." He guides your knees apart, drags his mouth over your skin, lighting you up from the outside in. His shoulders are solid under your hands, a foundation to cling to.

"See, I know it's wrong, but whenever she's around me I just...forget myself. Start wonderin' what she's got on under her clothes, what I gotta do to get 'em off of her...." He nips at your flesh, one, two, three up your thigh, and you gasp each time. "Keeps me up at night wishin' she was in my bed." He pauses, looks at you with cocked eyebrows. "I think about her damn near every time I defile myself, which is...often."

You exhale slowly, release the death grip you have on his shirt and run your fingers through his hair. "Sounds like you've got a lot of penance to do."

Bo lets out a helpless chuckle. "I know it, baby. I'm desperate." He blinks up at you, looking earnest. "I'm hopin' you got some salvation to offer me."

"I might." You tug your skirt up, baring yourself to him, and he groans, fingers digging into your flesh. "But you've got to earn it."

He inches forward and pins your legs open on either side of his shoulders. "Never been much of a god-fearin' man," he says, "but I know how to worship." He bows his head and you close your eyes when you feel his breath on your skin. "What d'you know about devotion, angel?"

"Nothing," you say, breathless. "Teach me."

The first pass of his tongue is feather-light and devastating and you sigh as that flickering flame roils brightly back to life. He teases the edge of your entrance, warming you up with the heat of his attention. You make a small sound and he responds with a slow, insistent lick up the length of your slit that makes you whine and clutch at his hair.

He cradles your clit in the cup of his lips and venerates you with his tongue in lazy spirals, up and over, and your blood throbs in the same rhythm. He sucks gently, and then harder, and you moan in the bliss of transubstantiation as his mouth makes the mundane into the divine.

With a growl in the back of his throat he hoists your legs onto his shoulders and penetrates you with his tongue, lapping at your pussy in search of absolution. Your eyes bounce around the blank ceiling of the booth as your hips buck mindlessly against his chin. His mustache tickles your lips, beard coarse against your inner thighs.

"Bo," you gasp as he sucks hard at your clit, "oh, god."

"I'm a bad person, baby," he mumbles. "Promise."

"No." You try and fail to stifle a cry, back arching, toes curled. "You're so good...you're so good."

Between your gasps you hear the sound of footsteps on the stone. Your steady-building climax skids to a halt and you stare wide-eyed at the confessional door.

Bo doesn't stop. In fact, he redoubles his efforts.

You clamp your hand over your mouth, trying desperately to keep still even as your body flexes and writhes against your will. You can hear two voices--you recognize one as the father but the other could be anybody, some stranger, some sinner seeking Easter confession.

Bo seals his mouth over your cunt and grinds his tongue against your clit again and again, gripping your ass, holding you to him as you squirm and seek purchase on the featureless walls.

The voices are getting closer and against all odds, so is your release. You're past the point of redemption, couldn't stave it off if you wanted to.

"Bo," you squeak under your breath, clawing at the back of his neck, grasping the edge of the seat, "please--"

He grunts softly. He's devouring you, hellbent on a miracle, bound and determined to introduce you to God. And seconds later, when your cup runneth over and your spine arches against the velvet and you have to sink your teeth into the meat of your palm to keep from howling his name, you see starbursts of pastel pink and sky blue behind your eyes and figure this is probably the closest you'll get to the pearly gates.

Your breath is hitching in your chest and you feel him slip out of your hands and you whimper, floating back into your body, unsteady as you try to sit up straight on the bench. The voices and footsteps are fading and you breathe a sigh of relief and release.

His hands are on your arms and he's coaxing you to your feet, supporting your weight on behalf of your shaking legs, turning you around in the tight space and murmuring in your ear.

"Need you, baby, right now, c'mere. Need to be inside you. Let me--"

He takes your place on the bench. He's undone his belt, freed his cock from his pants, and you clamber eagerly into his lap and let him guide you down onto him. Your head lolls back as he pushes into you, fills your empty space. The image of him looking desperately up at you is burned into the back of your eyelids.

"Angel," he breathes as he takes your face in his hands and brings your mouth to his. His kisses are hot with lust, with greed, with envy of everyone who's ever touched your lips before him. You can smell yourself in his beard, sweet and heady like original sin.

You move, rocking back and forth on his cock, and he moves you, hands on your hips, your skirt in disarray, his shirt falling open as you wrestle with the buttons. He pulls you closer, pulls himself deeper, and you can feel his heart pounding when you brace yourself on his chest.

"Ain't gonna last long," he pants. "So fuckin' tight, baby, so perfect...."

"That's okay, that's okay," you say, stumbling over your words. The frame of the booth is groaning in legitimate complaint, the entire structure trembling slightly, and you're going to get caught, surely you are, and you'll be cast out together beyond the reach of forgiveness but that might be alright as long as you've got him with you.

You press yourself against him, as close as you can get and not close enough. He cums with his face buried in your chest and your name in his mouth like a prayer. The kick of his cock inside you grants you another little climax, a little death, little moans jarred from your lips with each waning thrust of his hips.

"Kiss me," you whisper, and he obeys, his eyes glazed, his gaze soft and adoring. His needy grip on your waist melts into caresses and you finger the buttons of his shirt like rosary beads. One is missing; you're both hopelessly disheveled, undeniably sin-touched. You push his hair off his forehead and back into place. "Did this help?"

He shakes his head and laughs quietly. "No."

"Made it worse."

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"'S okay." He kisses you again. "You're forgiven."

#i know i know i write so much of bo eating pussy but you know what? you know what?? you're welcome okay?? leave me alone #this was supposed to be like a blurb but i just don't know how to shut up about this old man #bo sinclair #bo sinclair fanfiction #dilf bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #slasher x reader #house of wax fanfiction #agaas #a gentleman and a scoundrel

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gloryride · 2 months

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Nomad Mechanics

Natale is an ex-soldier, war veteran, mostly mechanic for his clan, and works with his young son Enzo when he's there. Not the most expressive person, he loves teaching his son and is proud of him. Enzo knows this, and he adores his father!

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk oc #nomad oc #oc : enzo sarto #natale sarto #sarto famiglia #cyberpunk photomode #cp2077 #cp2077edit #daily gaming #videogamemen #virtual photography #what a dilf #and earth tones to them is so good !#i already said i love families dynamics ?#now you know

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sassytail · 2 months

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i think he should do fat rips outta the tallman sized bong

#chilchuck #dunmeshi #im not maintagging this #i trust you to know what to do #my art #most divorced dilf in the dungeon

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theworsethingsgettheharderifight · 2 years

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Sonic says DILF RIGHTS!!

light AND dark mode for whatever your needs lol

#Sonic #don't ask why #you already know what it is #sonic the hedgehog #dilf magnet #theworsethingsgettheharderifight #mine #my edit

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thekingofspin · 4 months

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I have not stopped thinking about the comment on one of my posts that season 8 of dr who is just a whole season of the 12th doctor being pissy about twink death and that is way too funny to me

#but yk what comes after twink death? dilf birth.#and a dilf was indeed born #peter capaldi 😍😍#if you wrote that comment i would just like you to know this has consumed my every waking thought for 3 whole days #dr who #doctor who #12th doctor #peter capaldi #the doctor #clara oswald #whouffaldi #11th doctor #matt smith #twink death

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cybertron-smash-or-pass · 17 days

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No but David Kaye was literally perfect in TFA. He’s great for a younger take on Optimus, especially since he pulls off young serious stern hero whose willing to die to save others, whose also sassy

He's such a good sweet and genuine boy and I love him so much and I'm so happy for him every time he gets to cause problems on purpose for sentinel. TFA Optimus is only smug when its EARNED and the show does such a good job of making you root for him because everyone is SO mean to him and you're just waiting on the moment when he stops holding his tongue and really fucking lets em have it.

Literally just "aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?"

#not polls #animated optimus is genuinely my favorite version of the character bc he has so much personality #and that personality is so so wonderful and sweet #he just feels like A Guy you could Talk To and have a really fun conversation with #like im all for silly dilf in g1 or autism prime in tfp #but 20 something stepdad repair guy with the weight of two worlds on his shoulders AND baggage from his exes??#delicious.#literally cannot be beaten.#especially when played by david kaye who does a WONDERFUL job of portraying him #truly the 'i do not know what im doing at this job. i am so tired. but by god im gonna give it my all' voice of all time #maccadam

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zer0point5ive · 7 months

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something about lawrence thinking he’s a little past it, looking at adam and feeling a strange mix of envy and insecurity creep in alongside the fondness, wondering what adam sees in him and then .. well then there’s adam. love hearts in the air, cartoon eyes popping out, hammer on head looney tunes style, the whole deal just. absolutely head over heels over lawrence’s whole .. everything at all times, going cuckoo if lawrence’s shirt buttons strain slightly, grabbing a handful whenever lawrence bends over, burying his face in lawrence’s chest at random intervals because, hey, he never claimed to be gods strongest soldier and boy oh boy. man oh man, lawrence gordon md will do that to a guy. lawrence is just trying to get changed? well you better believe adam’s getting a front row seat to that show and. if lawrence happens to let it slip that he’s been feeling a little inadequate? yeah, adam is absolutely taking that as a challenge. good for them both

#sorry that sawmusical ass grab video came up again and i. well i am also not gods strongest soldier #then i thought about saw of course naturally. then lawrence nd his ways #dr lawrence md w the dadbod i need you in ways that the human mind cant even comprehend #call me adam faulkner stanheight the way i go awooga when the saw bathroom dilf does anything at all #sound of cartoon boing nd old timey horn resonates when he does Anything #realising i said strange mix just like. well you know. didnt even do that on purpose john kramer will do that to a guy i guess #any way when is it adam lawrence saw 2004s turn to get freaky nasty w it in front of a mirror is What im getting at here #chainshipping #📹

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lyramundana · 8 months

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DOLLHOUSE

The Kim family are seemingly perfect in the eyes of everyone who meets them. Rich, nice houses, gorgeous children and marriages built upon pure love and respect.

It started with Kim Felix and his wife, Jeonjin, a cheerful, if a bit excentric married couple. They had two healthy, handsome sons, Seungmin and Jisung. When they grew, Jisung met Hyuna at his workplace, where she worked as a model. He spend months pining from afar before he finally asked her out and, eventually, brought her home as his formal girlfriend, marrying her soon after. Then Seungmin met Lina some years later and, after weeks of mostly bickering and agressive flirting, he asked her out on a date. He brought her home to his parents as his the same way Jisung did, and ended up getting married too.

Jisung and Hyuna had two adorable sons, Changbin and Chan. Seungmin and Lina took their time, but when little Chan was five, Lina gave birth to a precious girl, Lixie. The ball of joy became made Seungmin's smile brighter than ever and brought a soft side of Lina that no one thought possible.

Don't let them see what goes down in the kitchen

This is the story everyone knows. It sounds like the dream family, right? They make such a pretty picture...as long as you don't look too close at it.

Don't let them see through the curtains

Because if you do, you'll see the cracks surrounding it. And you'll hear the dirty secrets the walls will whisper to you.

The wallpaper listens

She became Lixie's babysitter by a recommendation from her friend, Jeong, Lina's younger sister. Hearing the woman's complaints about not finding a proper caretaker for her babygirl and knowing Nessa could use some extra cash, Jeong decided to kill two birds with a single stone.

She's been in this practically since Lixie was a newborn, exactly three years and half. It was supposed to be a short-term job until Lina managed to find an alternative so she could stay more at home, but she grew to adore Lixie and got used to the routine of taking care of her, so she stayed. At least that's what she explains to whoever asks about the matter. she's trapped, can't bring herself to leave

As babysitter, her job is very simple. Feed the baby, change her diapers, shower her, play with her and make sure she's healthy and happy at all times. That's all she must do.

As a babysitter, her only focus should be Lixie. She's all she needs to care about. And if she happens to hear or see something she definitely shouldn't have like Seungmin's brother coming out of Lina's room or the breathless moans and dirty words when Seungmin isn't home, that's none of her business. Oh, what is it? Is Lixie hungry? Let's fix that now and forget everything else.

She's been the family's housemaid since Channie was still in the crib. The bills don't pay themselves and she was struggling when Jisung contacted her. He and his wife had demanding jobs and two kids, so they couldn't handle everything, he said. They needed someone to take care of the things they didn't have time for, and she needed quick money. It was an easy deal.

Officially, her duty consists on doing the house chores, like laundry and cleaning the rooms, but eventually she also began to look after the kids too. It was only natural, since they were the main sources of dirt she had to clean after, and in some way, they were house chores too. If Mr Jisung and Mrs Hyuna aren't around, she helps them with homework and entertains them, even thought it isn't part of her contract. There were talks about her quitting the job to move somewhere else, but it never happened. She clearly prefers to stay here, with this cozy job where she gets to spend time surrounded by luxuries she couldn't bare leaving them behind, not after everything

A housemaid's duty is simply keeping the house clean and comfortable for when her masters arrive. She does the laundry, cooks their meals, fixes their rooms and does as she's told until she returns home.

As a housemaid, she has mastered the art of being invisible. Her presence remains subtle unless she's needed. She's the ears and eyes of the house, nothing wents on there without her knowledge. Nothing. Mrs Lina's husband visiting them when Mr Han leaves the house. Hands and whispers wandering where they shouldn't. She's merely an spectator, unable to intervene. Look at that, the boys left their toys out again! She better put them back before the Masters arrive.

Taglist: @channieandhisgoonsquad @2chopsticks2eyes @moonlightndaydreams @linlinaert @queenmea604 @hanjisunglover @kpopsstuffs @noellllslut @bangtanmix73 @thightswideforhanin @boi-bi-ahaha @grayscorner @rosierosaaa @ren0325

Important: That's just how I envision the girls in my head, but you're free to self-insert yourselves. Imagine them however you prefer.

#this is just a preview #i have yet to decide what plot i want #i have scenarios and ideas but not developed #however i did not expect such support so here you go as a thank you #i only use ocs to write my stories so if you look for a y/n or x Reader type of thing this isn't your place #minsung x reader #hyunmin x reader #skz family au #fem! lee know #fem! hyunjin #dilf! han jisung #dilf! seungmin #milf! lee know #milf! hwang hyunjin #skz scenarios #skz imagine

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qpenpals · 8 months

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listen i had always thought that the feds were like never exposed to the outside world and that’s why fred talked like that now i see that maybe fred is just old L but also consider maybe he’s just bin freeezed in time or some shit i’m pretty sure fed employees like don’t age n shit but man holy shit i sound desperate

#listen my whole blog is literally about these two okay #leave me aloooooooooooooone #AND YOU KNOW WHAT #WHO CARES TUBBO ITS OKAY FOR YOU TO LIKE DILFS FUCK WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE #qsmp #qsmp fred #qsmp tubbo #fred qsmp #q!tubbo #tubbo #qsmpblr #tubbo qsmp #qsmp shipping #frubbo #i speak!

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