There may be spoilers ...

(1)

Listened to Soul Music: Back to Black by Amy Winehouse. I wrote down what one of the interviewees said: "It reminds me of a girl I once was, and I was not always kind to that girl, and I didn't always protect her." Hard to think of a song that so openly reveals the human condition.

It chimes with where I am up to in A Return to Modesty, as well, where the author is having a good go at hook up culture. I am not agreeing with everything she says; I don't think there's anything intrinsically wrong with hook ups except the implication that they are expected. I think she has a point when she writes:

Anyway, I choose to finish my thoughts with Amy, who knocks Wendy Shalit into a cocked hat when it comes to encapsulating the problem.

He left no time to regret

Kept his dick wet

With his same old safe bet

Me and my head high

And my tears dry

Get on without my guy

(2)

Read some AO3.

Little Cornish one-shot ... sweet and satisfying as clotted cream. 💗

Hot and heavy in the library cupboard.

That's all!

“Modesty answers not the crude how of femininity, but the beautiful why.”

Wendy Shalit, A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue

Do you have any book recommendations for traditional femininity, homemaking etc..?

Yep! I haven't read all of these, but they've been recommended to me. Some are secular, some are religious:

Femininity: Finer Femininity A Sunshiny Disposition - Mrs. Leane G. VanderPutten Set-Apart Femininity - Leslie Ludy Let Me Be a Woman - Elisabeth Elliot Fascinating Womanhood - Helen Andelin Created to Be His Help Meet - Debi Pearl Beautiful Girlhood - Karen Andreola The Excellent Wife - Martha Peace His Chosen Bride - Jennifer J. Lamp A Return to Modesty - Wendy Shalit Dressing with Dignity - Colleen Hammond

Homemaking: The Nesting Place - Myquillyn Smith Large Family Logistics - Kim Brenneman The Christian Homemaker's Handbook - Pat Ennis The Hidden Art of Homemaking - Edith Schaeffer She Made Herself a Home - Rachel Van Kluyve Mrs. Dunwoody's Excellent Instructions for Homekeeping - Miriam Lukken How to Sew a Button - Erin Bried The Homemaker's Mentor Treasury of Homekeeping Skills - Martha Greene The Girl's Guide to Home Skills - Martha Greene Home Economics Household Skills - Amy Maryon Home-Ec 101 - Heather Solos The Woman's Book of Household Management - Florence Jack

Parenting: Positive Parenting - Rebecca Eanes The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting - Rebecca Eanes The Conscious Parent - Dr. Shefali Tsabary How Children Learn - John Holt How to Raise a Lady - Kay West How to Raise a Gentleman - Kay West A Kids' Guide to Manners - Katherine Flannery Mothers Manual - Francis Coomes

Natural Living: The Lost Book of Remedies - Claude Davis The Encyclopaedia Of Healing Foods - Dr. Michael Murray The School of Natural Healing - John R. Christopher Culpeper's Medicine - Graeme Tobyn

I'm sure I have more books somewhere, but I can't find them at the moment - I'll add later if I can find them! If anyone has any other recommendations, let me know! I love finding new books to read and study.

Tapped out of Nomadland 30 minutes in a couple months ago, now have to get through it for a course. I don't like what McDormand is doing here. She seems to be trying not to look like she's acting while making sure you don't forget that she's acting, resulting in so many "subtle" uses of her eyes and facial muscles to indicate that she's listening and reacting to everything everyone says that it's hammy. Underacting so clearly and visibly it becomes overacting. You never have to worry about whether you're feeling the right thing, just check Frances's face. And having McDormand tell her character's fake sad backstory to real people who share what we're encouraged to believe are their actual hardships (I haven't yet looked up what was and wasn't real, but the presentation conveys "authenticity") and then end up consoling Frances McDormand's fake character just hits me in an unpleasant way. It's all the more frustrating because Leave No Trace, a really great movie about, as the movies both put it, houselessness in America, written and directed by the very talented Debra Granik and making use of non-actors in a way where they're part of the story instead of just turning up to dump out their life story and a bit of exposition before disappearing as in Nomadland, came out two years ago and despite rapturous reviews left very little trace in the public consciousness (if you'll pardon a Gene Shalit-ism). Kelly Reichardt's Wendy and Lucy also tackled the subject with a similar approach and pulled it off much better than Nomadland (and had the misfortune/luck of actually being made in 2008 right at the dawn of the financial crisis, instead of being an awkward period-piece about 10 years ago like Nomadland). I still don't understand who the intended audience for Nomadland is outside of festival juries and Oscar voters.

Wendy Shalit

I have a newer addition of Return to Modesty that has an updated forwarded by a 30-something Shalit that makes the following caveats about her book:

She wrote it when she was 21. 

She still pretty much stands by it though obviously there are things she now feels differently about.

Kate Roiphe is an evil snake with an ice cold void where her heart should be and while people are free to disagree with Wendy Shalit’s opinions she will NOT take being compared to Kate fucking Roiphe lying down. 

“Modesty answers not the crude how of femininity, but the beautiful why.” ― Wendy Shalit #portraitphotography #romantic #fashion #feminine #portrait #quietmoment #romance #feminineart #vintage #timeless #delicate #innocence #intimate #georgiaphotographer #fashionphotographer #atlantafashion #lookslikefilm #gold #silk #discoverportraits #painterly #visualsoflife #AGameofTones #artofvisuals #aov #of2humans #portraitpage

a return to modesty_ discovering – shalit, wendy This is an ebook, and you can download it after payment. If you have any quetions, pls email me: [email protected]

Full E-book A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue Complete

https://ift.tt/2Fx4757 Revised and updated, this fifteenth anniversary edition of A Return to Modesty reignites Wendy Shalit?s controversial claim that we have lost our respect for an essential virtue: modesty.When A Return to Modesty was first published in 1999, it began an important and much-needed national conversation. Wendy Shalit persuasively argued that modesty is not some hang-up we should set out to cure, but rather a wonderful instinct that, if rediscovered and given the right social support, has the power to transform society. Now, in this newly revised edition, Shalit backs up her claim with the latest trends and research to prove that the issue is just as pressing today as ever.Unfortunately, many problems Shalit originally explored, such as date rape, harassment, and most alarmingly, the sexualization of young girls, have only become more prevalant. Where once a young woman was ashamed of her sexual experience, today she is ashamed of her sexual inexperience. And as we continue to push the limits of what is accepted behavior, the pressure to overcome embarrassment and discard all sense of modesty is greater than ever.A Return to Modesty is a deeply personal account as well as a fascinating intellectual exploration into everything from seventeenth-century manners to the 1948 tune ?Baby, It?s Cold Outside.? Beholden neither to social conservatives nor to feminists, Shalit reminds us that modesty is not prudery, but a natural instinct?and one that may be able to save us from ourselves. via Dailymotion https://ift.tt/32xk4kR from Blogger https://ift.tt/3c0852v via IFTTT Full E-book A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue Complete

https://ift.tt/2Fx4757 Revised and updated, this fifteenth anniversary edition of A Return to Modesty reignites Wendy Shalit?s controversial claim that we have lost our respect for an essential virtue: modesty.When A Return to Modesty was first published in 1999, it began an important and much-needed national conversation. Wendy Shalit persuasively argued that modesty is not some hang-up we should set out to cure, but rather a wonderful instinct that, if rediscovered and given the right social support, has the power to transform society. Now, in this newly revised edition, Shalit backs up her claim with the latest trends and research to prove that the issue is just as pressing today as ever.Unfortunately, many problems Shalit originally explored, such as date rape, harassment, and most alarmingly, the sexualization of young girls, have only become more prevalant. Where once a young woman was ashamed of her sexual experience, today she is ashamed of her sexual inexperience. And as we continue to push the limits of what is accepted behavior, the pressure to overcome embarrassment and discard all sense of modesty is greater than ever.A Return to Modesty is a deeply personal account as well as a fascinating intellectual exploration into everything from seventeenth-century manners to the 1948 tune ?Baby, It?s Cold Outside.? Beholden neither to social conservatives nor to feminists, Shalit reminds us that modesty is not prudery, but a natural instinct?and one that may be able to save us from ourselves. via Dailymotion https://ift.tt/32xk4kR affair, crime, Full E-book A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue Complete, murder, rape, robbery, sex

No spoilers today ...

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I have de-picoulted my bookshelves and feel better for it. I picked up a couple of tomes by people I am used to consider deeply wrong-headed. Will read to see if they can convert me to the fourth wave/gender identity/silver ring thing.

Good pickings from a sleepy book-share box, I thought.

I am expecting to enjoy the Shalit a lot more than the Frances-White (but will see). The concept of modesty interests me, although I am not expecting to agree with everything the author says. (I was in two minds whether to take it but then I read this para which I found interesting, and made me want to read a bit more:

... although our ideology can expunge words from our vocabulary, the feelings remain and still cry out for someone to make sense of them ...)

(2)

Read a piece in the New York Times about loneliness and isolation, which is a big interest in my workplace as I work with older people who are thought to be disproportionately affected by both.

Can't link as it is behind a paywall, but this is from a description of a survey methodology and I thought it was a good list of questions:

They asked respondents how many people they had in their social circle whom they could depend on to care for them if they fell ill; to lend them money; to talk to them if they had a problem or felt depressed; or to help them find a job.

(Studies Show: We Need to Understand the Difference Between Isolation and Loneliness by Kim Tingley)

That's all ...

On Avoiding Fallen Trouble

On Avoiding Fallen Trouble http://wp.me/p2vXPg-17X by St. Ignatios (Brianchaninov) of Bryansk

In his book The Arena, St. Ignatios (Brianchaninov) writes to male monks regarding their contact with women. Women need to heed these warnings as well, since we live in a time (rather, returning to a more blatant time) when women chase women as well. (cf. Romans 1:26). In Wendy Shalit’s book A Return to Modesty, Shalit says, “there was a time when the world was more ‘civilized’, it was when women…

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If vulgarity is a game that begins by excluding women, but ultimately excludes men from themselves, modesty is the game both can play. It begins as a woman’s game – one, interestingly, where she appears to lose, to be ‘missing out’ – but really she invites a man to relate to her in a way that is both uniquely human and ultimately more erotic. So modesty maysuperficially seem just to be a woman’s game because it is one she must begin, but in playing it she invites men to relate to her in a different way, a way that ultimately means that the men win, too, because they are no longer cut off from adult masculinity.

Wendy Shalit

If we're expected only to think, and never actually to believe or be moved by anything, then perhaps our time would be better spent in a soup kitchen. I didn't major in philosophy to philosophize, but to find out how I should live.

A Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit

"The pressure on girls today to take sexy selfies comes out of a culture that routinely equates modesty with shame, instead of recognizing it for what it really is: an impulse that protects what is precious and intimate.” Wendy Shalit