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empoleon · 1 year

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are you always so restless (yes you are, is that hard?)

rated t, one shot, 4233 words

also available to read here

Wolfwood purposefully ignores the tickle in the back of his throat. It’s nothing, but on the off chance that it is something, it’s likely caused by the ever present sand dunes that are really starting to make his eyes hurt.

But again, it’s nothing. He squints for a moment as he glances up at the sky, almost stopping to wonder if this is some sort of cruel joke—there is absolutely no way the sun was this hot a few hours ago.

‘The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.’ He recalls a specific passage and almost trips over a large rock, struggling to regain his footing.

What a load of shit, Wolfwood grunts.

It’s nothing.

Meryl is talking about something with Roberto—reports, news articles, perhaps including that they need to charge the Jeep again soon—Wolfwood mostly tunes it out.

He catches her glance at him a few times, something akin to worry knitting her brows, but it’s gone within minutes.

They’re all waiting for Vash to come back with their canteens, having elected him to be the one to fill them this time.

It’s been almost half an hour though, and Wolfwood isn’t sure how much longer he’ll be able to stand without—

A sneeze rips through him once, then twice, and he has to steady himself by grabbing the Punisher.

A deafening silence follows.

“Not a single word—” Wolfwood starts to threaten, but he’s cut off by the one voice he doesn’t want to hear.

“I’m back!”

Vash is trotting towards them—a feat in its own right, with how uneven the sand below their feet can be—arms filled with their supplies and none the wiser to anything that happened moments before his arrival.

Or so Wolfwood thinks.

“You know,” Roberto starts, “it’s probably those Worms you keep eating, Undertaker.”

The ride in the Jeep had been peaceful until that exact moment.

Wolfwood grunts and crosses his arms. “Haven’t you heard of allergies? I’m fine, old man.”

Meryl is staring straight ahead as she drives, but her eyes flicker back at him from the rear view mirror. “He may have a point, you know.”

She drives over a particularly rough patch of sand, sending the Jeep into a steady shake. It makes Wolfwood’s slowly persistent headache feel even worse than he thought was possible.

“Not you too, shorty,” he grumbles, reaching to steady himself by grabbing his seat. This is really starting to grate on his nerves. “I keep tellin’ ya, I’m fine—”

Meryl steps on the breaks right as a giant sandworm launches out of the sand a mere few feet away from the vehicle. The action causes Wolfwood to lurch forward, hands weakly stopping his face from ramming into the headrest of the car seat in front of him.

Vash, sitting across from him, doesn’t even have a chance to react—he does faceplant into the uncomfortable leather of the car seat and whines, rubbing at his eyes.

“Meryl, I can drive for a while, if you want—”

“No,” is heard from both Roberto and Meryl at once. Vash frowns.

“Well, maybe we should stop for the evening? If the Worms are becoming active—”

“The next town isn’t that far off,” Wolfwood finally speaks once he’s certain that things aren’t moving in his vision. He can’t remember the last time he ever felt so dizzy. “I’d rather sleep in a bed.”

Vash glances between him and Meryl. Wolfwood’s tone really didn’t leave much room for any arguments.

“Okay, I’ll try to drive… better,” she starts the Jeep again and grips the steering wheel. “We should be there by nightfall.

Roberto huffs a laugh. “Better buckle up.”

Meryl starts in on that, arguing with him while they continue to travel. Vash remains oddly silent, casting a few curious glances at Wolfwood.

“Nick?”

His voice is quiet, almost a whisper amongst the chatter within the vehicle. He turns to look at Vash, brows furrowing as he mouths ‘what?’

And then Vash, the absolute bastard that he is, gives him a grin that physically hurts Wolfwood to look at and pats his lap, as if he’s volunteering a secret service that only he can provide.

Technically, he is, but Wolfwood is not about to try and unpack those thoughts. His head hurts enough as is.

He settles for what he hopes is a very scathing look, because seriously, there is no way he’s about to rest his head on Vash’s lap.

Meryl swerves the Jeep to the left, presumably avoiding another sandworm, muttering a faint apology that does nothing to help Wolfwood’s throbbing head.

A warm hand carefully touches his shoulder, and suddenly all he can see and feel is Vash.

“Just for a little while,” is all he says while gently tugging on Wolfwood’s arm. “You know I don’t bite,” he adds after a moment, light and teasing.

He wants to say something witty in return, but merely hums a tired reply instead—just this once.

Maybe awkwardly laying down would help. Vash’s lap is simply an added perk.

When Wolfwood comes to, he immediately notices three things:

The first being that they’re still in the Jeep and it’s definitely gotten darker out. That nearby town must’ve been further off than he thought.

The second is something that he is actively trying to fight—there is an overabundance of saliva in his mouth. That never ends well, in his experience.

And the third—Vash’s hand is in his hair, carefully playing with a few strands of it.

He wants to say something, because this is oddly intimate, considering everything, and there is a lot to consider whenever it comes to Vash.

The jeep makes a slow turn and Wolfwood can feel his stomach rolling with the movement. Shit. He swallows and settles on grimacing for now.

“How is he?”

Meryl’s voice is filled with concern, and if Wolfwood knew he wouldn’t be sick, he’d speak up and mock the reporter for being such a softie. Vash must be rubbing off on her.

Vash’s fingers untangle from Wolfwood’s hair and move to his forehead, resting there for a moment.

“He definitely has a fever,” Vash murmurs. He traces along Wolfwood’s brow line. “I wish he had said something sooner.”

“That’s rich coming from you, kid,” Roberto comments. He earns a glare from Meryl and he shrugs.

It is, Wolfwood thinks. He feels Vash move his hand back to his hair, choosing to not say anything else to Roberto’s comment.

Wolfwood tries to focus on Vash’s hand, willfully ignoring the growing unease he feels deep in his stomach.

A comfortable—or rather, a tolerable silence falls upon the Jeep, save for the radio in the background. The voice he hears singing sounds familiar.

Except it’s not quite singing—humming?

Vash is definitely humming. It’s sort of like a soft rumble, one that Wolfwood can feel, but not quite feel, hear and not hear—it doesn’t make much sense. Even with his eyes closed, it’s as though there’s a soft glow accompanying the noise.

It’s extremely pleasant, along with Vash’s fingers in his hair and he prays it can last a little while longer.

Truly, God must have it out for him, because the next thing he remembers is bolting upright and gasping for air as he starts to dry heave.

The motel bedroom has seen better days, probably. Having one grown man practically falling apart in the bed and the other teetering around nervously surely isn’t anything new.

Wolfwood could do without Vash’s nervous energy, though.

“Blondie,” he struggles to speak and it comes out strained. “Stop. Moving.”

Vash freezes by the side of the bed. “Wolfwood?”

“Going to burn a hole in the carpet,” he mumbles, and that finally gets Vash to smile, even if it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“How are you feeling?”

Like shit. “’M fine,” he says instead, because it’s easier.

Vash kneels beside the bed and rests his head on his prosthetic. “You sound awful.”

“Thanks,” Wolfwood says, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “Where—”

“Down the hall,” Vash answers him before he can finish asking. “Roberto paid for the rooms, he said something about you owing him cigarettes, though.”

Wolfwood snorts, but it turns into a wet cough. “He owes me—”

Vash ignores the comment. “I chose to stay with you since I can’t catch… whatever it is you have.”

There is an unspoken acknowledgment there in the way Vash words it—he knows what caused it, but won’t say as much.

“It’s just a bug,” Wolfwood argues, because again, that’s easier. “I doubt I’m contagious, hell, this is nothing—”

“You threw up blood,” Vash tells him, a deep frown forming on his face. “It certainly isn’t nothing.”

Well, shit. “Spikey—”

“Don’t, Nick,” Vash’s voice is entirely too soft now. “Just—don’t, okay?”

Wolfwood sighs and closes his eyes. “Okay,” he gives a small nod of his head and winces, regretting the movement.

“You should rest,” Vash says after a moment. He still doesn’t move from where he’s sitting on the floor.

It’s annoying when Vash gets like this, even more so when Wolfwood can’t do much to fix things.

So he does what his fever-ridden brain thinks is right and stretches out an arm to pat the empty space on the bed next to him.

It’s a start.

“Did I throw up on you?” Wolfwood asks after they have lied together in a shared silence for roughly a half hour. It feels out of place to speak almost, like he should have simply let the quiet air continue to fill the room.

But unfortunately, Wolfwood has to know. He isn’t going to sleep until then.

Vash pulls a face, and even in the dark of the room Wolfwood can tell he’s wincing. “Yeah, but it’s okay, I caught most of it.”

“What?” Wolfwood sounds horrified. “Like, with your hands?”

“Kind of? I mean most of it landed on my lap, so,” Vash shrugs a shoulder. “Meryl was worried about the Jeep getting dirty—”

Wolfwood slaps a hand to his forehead and groans. “That’s disgusting, she can fucking pay for a cleaning if the damn thing needs it.”

“Hmm, you know,” Vash sounds a bit too thoughtful when he speaks, “we’d probably save a few double dollars if we cleaned it ourselves…”

“You’d make a sick priest work?” Wolfwood feigns shock, moving to press his wrist over his eyes. “That’s just cruel, needle-noggin.”

“And here I thought you lived for charitable acts,” Vash slowly starts to sit up, but he’s stopped by a warm hand encircling his wrist. “What?”

Wolfwood, seemingly about to speak, instead starts to cough again.

Vash waits, because he has the patience of a saint—a real one, at that, Wolfwood decides, not some shitty uncanonized one—simply sitting next to him. He moves his wrist out of Wolfwood’s grasp and decides to hold his hand.

When Wolfwood catches his breath, he clears his throat to try again.

“Don’t… go,” he says—he asks, but it’s a very weak attempt.

“To the other bed, you mean?” Vash quirks an eyebrow.

Apparently Wolfwood didn’t catch the fact that the room did have two beds.

He tries to ease his hand out of Vash’s grasp and fails, miserably, all the while Vash, still being the absolute bastard that he truly is, laughs.

Vash helps him to the bathroom twice when he starts to feel nauseous again. Nothing happens at first—once he does throw up Vash is quick to kneel beside him, but hesitates to reach out.

Wolfwood spits into the toilet and lets his head rest on the cool porcelain. It’s soothing.

The hand that eventually starts to rub his back is an added bonus, also cool to the touch, and it makes Wolfwood shiver.

“Sorry,” Vash murmurs, prosthetic hand faltering to settle near Wolfwood’s shoulder. “You okay?”

The feeling is so featherlight and Wolfwood partially wonders if Vash can feel the heat emanating off of his bare skin.

“Yeah,” he replies after a moment, “’M good.”

He can hear Vash sigh and the hand on his shoulder is gone.

“Think you can stand?”

Of course, he wants to say, it’s not like I’m—

“Nick?”

Oh. That tone of voice made sense to him now. He should have realized sooner. Irritation made sense, but this? This is—

Vash is scared for him.

Wolfwood pulls his face away from the ceramic bowl. “Help me up, blondie.”

“You know, if you wanted a hug you simply could have asked me,” Vash’s face is pressed near Wolfwood’s shoulder, more so on the pillow than anything, unable to pull back as he’s being held there by the other man.

He easily carried Wolfwood out of the bathroom and back to the bed in the motel room, but once he stopped near the side of the mattress to help him lie back down, Wolfwood didn’t release his hold around Vash’s shoulders.

Which now led to Vash standing—or rather, half bent over—awkwardly embracing Wolfwood.

It’s not as though he doesn’t want to, but this position is starting to make his lower back twinge with pain.

“Nick, come on,” Vash tries to pull away, “at least let me get comfortable.”

“This is comfortable,” Wolfwood says into the fabric of Vash’s shirt, to which he hears a quiet groan.

“You are such a pain in the ass, you know that?” There is no bite in Vash’s words, but he says it so suddenly and so seriously that it causes Wolfwood to laugh and ease up his grip.

“Hey, it takes one to know one,” he quips.

Vash ultimately decides that he’s right and goes limp, letting his full weight rest on top of Wolfwood, who immediately protests.

“Okay, okay! Get off me already, you idiot,” he pushes Vash to the side of the bed with a huff.

“Now will you rest?” Vash asks again.

He probably should, but the thought of having to lay there in silence with his own thoughts is starting to make him feel nauseous again.

“Talk to me,” Wolfwood turns to his side and is met with Vash giving him a questioning look, eyes softly illuminated in the dark. “I’ll fall asleep faster if you speak.”

“Rude,” he mutters, “is my voice that boring to you?”

“Oh, absolutely, spikey,” Wolfwood exhales through his nose slowly. It helps, a little. “You could tell me a story.”

Vash shifts on the bed slightly. “A story?”

“Used to do it back at the orphanage,” is all Wolfwood says at first, and he knows Vash is waiting for him to continue. “When the kids were sick. It was comforting.”

He doesn’t open up about it much—distant memories still too fresh and constantly present in his mind.

“I’m not sure if I can provide that kind of comfort,” Vash sounds uncertain, and it hurts, because that is simply not true—not true at all.

“Well, you won’t know unless you try, yeah?”

“When I was… huh, I’m actually not sure how old I was,” Vash pauses to consider it. “Definitely half a century ago, I think. Maybe a bit more—”

“I’m gonna start callin’ you grandpa,” Wolfwood decides. “Grandpa Stampede—”

Vash reaches over and pulls his cheek, earning an annoyed swat at his hand. “Shush, let grandpa finish his story, all right? Now where was I…”

The story is a strange one. Vash describes visiting half-empty towns in his youth, stopping to help when help is needed. A true hero’s tale, if Wolfwood ever heard one.

It doesn’t have a happy ending.

“There was this family,” Vash is staring at the ceiling, the too-bright cerulean glow of his eyes faint. “They let us stay for a few days during a bad sandstorm. It was a little cramped, but Brad and I didn’t mind. We were—we were grateful, really.

“Not many families would do that for someone they… didn’t know,” Vash chooses his words carefully, “despite us having helped out the Plant that was ill.”

Not many families would do that for someone like Vash. For someone like him.

“They had a little boy, I’m not sure how old he was, but he couldn’t have been more than five years old.

“He was sick. Some illness that Brad had to explain to me. I asked him if—if it was similar to how my sisters…”

Wolfwood swallows. “Blondie, you don’t have to—”

“I was so naive. I really thought—”

“Vash,” Wolfwood is slowly moving to sit up this time, “stop.”

“I couldn’t help him,” Vash doesn’t bother to look at Wolfwood, knowing full well he can see the tears trailing down his cheeks. “I couldn’t help—humans. And I wanted to so badly. I haven’t tried to do that ever since—”

“Today in the jeep,” Wolfwood is leaning over him now, both arms caging his head on the pillow while he peers down at his face. Vash blinks up at him, frozen.

“In the jeep,” he repeats himself, “I heard you singing earlier.”

Vash lets out a breath he had been holding. “I’m sorry.”

Wolfwood can’t help his sigh of annoyance. “I’m not mad, needle-noggin, but why did you… why?”

Why me?

“I don’t know,” and Vash is being honest, for once, about it. “I wasn’t really thinking too hard about it.”

“Obviously,” he drawls, and Vash snorts wetly. “That’s not—not what I meant, though. Why after all this time?”

Why try again?

Vash closes his eyes. “Because I love you.”

He hesitantly peeks one eye open, possibly expecting the worst after such an admission. Wolfwood is a lot closer now, a mere few inches away from his face.

“We should do it properly, then,” he insists, resting his forehead carefully against Vash’s own.

“Nick…”

Vash brings his hands up to cup his face, flesh and metal thumbs stroking along Wolfwood’s jawline.

He wants to cry. He is crying—he never did stop, and Wolfwood simply remains there through it all, basking in the ethereal glow that Vash’s body emits.

“’M not going anywhere, spikey, you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Vash’s laugh is warbled. “I hear you.”

“You’re still burning up,” Vash presses his lips to Wolfwood’s forehead.

“Can’t help that,” Wolfwood mutters, eyes closed, “you’re the one who’s a furnace.”

Vash hums in agreement. “I did offer to sleep in the other bed.”

Wolfwood doesn’t argue with that, but he does reach under the covers to grab hold of Vash’s arm.

“I’m not, don’t worry,” Vash teases. He feels the hand on his arm loosen, ever so slightly, but never completely lets go.

“Sleep, Nick,” he loses track of how many times he’s asked the man beside him to rest. The night isn’t going to last forever and they’ll have to leave tomorrow morning.

Again, silence. It stretches on for some time and Vash waits.

Then, “Spikey? Could you… one more time?”

“Could I do what?” He hears a huff of annoyance and smiles.

“Pain in the ass,” he echoes the insult from earlier. “You just want to hear me say it.”

“It’s nice when we’re honest with each other, right?”

Vash moves under the covers, one arm holding it up as an invitation.

Honesty. Definitely not one of Wolfwood’s stronger attributes, but for Vash he can try.

He scoots closer, opting to curl one arm around Vash’s waist, face pressing into his neck.

“One more time. Please,” he whispers against the thrum of Vash’s pulse. This is about as honest as he can get, given the current circumstances.

Vash pulls the blanket up to his shoulder, careful and precise. He angles his head in a way to place a kiss to the crown of Wolfwood’s hair, replying with a soft ‘okay,’ and then he starts to sing.

“Should we wake them?” Meryl’s voice is quiet when she speaks. “They both look… peaceful, surprisingly.”

Roberto leans against the doorframe. “Probably the only peace we’ll be getting today—you heard the innkeeper this morning.”

Bounty hunters were already on the move again, hot on their trail. Nothing new.

“He deserves it,” and whether Meryl is referring to Vash or Wolfwood, no one can be certain.

“Fine,” Roberto steps out the door and into the hallway. “Come on then, newbie, let’s leave them to it.”

The floor creaks and the door is closed softly with an audible click.

“I know you’re awake, needle-noggin,” Wolfwood’s voice is muffled by equal parts blanket and Vash’s shirt.

Sunlight is shining into the inn room now and onto the bed. It feels good, better—definitely not as torturous as it was the other day.

“What gave me away?” Vash asks, disbelieving. His face is still partially buried in dark strands of hair. “I was perfectly still!”

“Well, the squeeze to my ass, for starters,” Wolfwood points out. “You can stop now, by the way.”

Vash does nothing to remove his hand from the area. In fact, he keeps it there for good measure.

“When the door opened it startled me—”

“Right, and you’re still recovering from that?”

“You know me so well, Nick,” Vash croons.

Wolfwood doesn’t dignify that with a response, choosing to slowly untangle himself from Vash’s wandering hands and steadily sit upright. The blanket pools near his waist, and only then does he realize how damp it feels.

“Shit, guess I sweated out the worst of it,” he says. “Sorry if any of that got on ya—”

Vash sits up so unnaturally fast, moving to place a hand on Wolfwood’s chest. His skin is warm, but not too warm, and his heart is steadily beating underneath his fingertips.

He feels so relieved until he sees Wolfwood’s shit-eating grin.

“Couldn’t resist feelin’ me up after all, could you?” He laughs as Vash feels himself start to boil, deftly retracting his hand with an eye roll.

“I’m not—”

“While I’m flattered you like my tits,” Wolfwood catches his hand with ease and brings it up to his lips, “I really should be thanking you for putting up with my sorry ass last night, so,” he presses a kiss to Vash’s knuckles.

Vash’s mouth twitches humorously. “Surely that’s not all?”

Wolfwood releases his hand and leans closer, a mere hair’s breadth away from Vash’s face.

“Definitely not all,” he murmurs, placing a kiss to the corner of Vash’s mouth and nothing more, waiting for permission.

His stubble tickles and it makes laughter bubble up in Vash’s throat. When he tilts his head back Wolfwood aims for his throat, peppering even more kisses across his skin.

He works back up towards Vash’s jaw, lingering there, and Vash finally meets him halfway while cupping his face to bring their lips together.

It’s chaste and it has Wolfwood feeling light, airy, much like the sudden, soft-white downy feathers that curl outward from Vash’s temples.

Huh. That’s new.

Wolfwood should probably comment on that, but Vash is tentatively licking at his bottom lip, and really, all it takes is that one movement for him to open his mouth further and let Vash have him.

But there’s a hand tapping on his shoulder entirely too soon, causing him to pause and take a breath.

Vash is giving him a well-practiced apologetic look. “You taste like vomit.”

Wolfwood doesn’t miss a beat. “You have feathers growing out of your head.”

That gets a rile out of Vash, immediately reaching for his hair with an indignant squawk. Wolfwood’s cackle is downright wicked, but a welcomed sound.

Now all Wolfwood needs are three things:

His shirt, a smoke, and some food. Preferably in that order, but he can make do with what he gets.

The shirt, his beloved white, button down—Vash had used it to clean up the Jeep.

“You’re kidding me, right?” he stares at the blonde when he steps out of the bathroom, the taste of vomit now a thing of the past.

“Ah, no, sorry Nick,” Vash grins sheepishly. “I had to use something!”

“You—damn it, needle-noggin,” he stalks over to the bed where Vash is still lounging. “All right, fork it over.”

He holds out his hand in front of Vash and waits.

Vash’s gaze flickers between his hand and face before shrugging and clasping Wolfwood’s hand into his own, giving it a firm shake.

He even has the audacity to smile at him.

Wolfwood squeezes Vash’s hand hard—prosthetic be damned—as his mouth sets into a scowl. “Your wallet,” he clarifies.

“Oh! Sure,” Vash lets go of his hand and reaches for his jacket, fumbling around inside the pockets. “Why do you…?”

“You’re paying for a new shirt,” Wolfwood informs him. “Nicest one I can find—most expensive I can find.”

It doesn’t faze Vash in the slightest.

“Think you can bring me back a box of donuts too, while you’re at it?”

(Meryl sneezes later that evening when they stop at a local diner before heading off.

Roberto is quick to leave the table, muttering something about how he’s ‘too old to be dealing with this shit.’

Wolfwood follows in suit, pausing only to blow Vash a two-finger kiss and an offhanded remark of ‘good luck!’

Somehow, Vash becomes the designated caretaker anytime one of them falls ill now—he doesn’t mind.

Meryl, however, has a long list of complaints that fall on deaf ears—she is stuck with Vash until further notice.)

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #vashwood #fanfic #fic #texte #my writing #well. i did it again and remarkably fast (sort of) (ok not really i had been slowly working on this one for like a few weeks GJDFHGS #when i say these 2 make my brain feel funny #anyway ww is sick in this fic because there is a lack of sick ww fics #why aren't u guys making him suffer from the silliest ailments!!!! give him the sniffles i do not give a fuck about his fancy vials #also there is an abnormal amount of dialogue in this fic i am so sorry but i gave these motherfuckers diarrhea of the mouth #it always happens i can't help it i just love dialogue #ok so next fic: small specific wv orphanage au snippet + their gaggle of children (I Am Working On It)#guess what it features? another scene involving a bed!#if i write something and i don't include a scene that involves cuddling/sleeping/whatever in a bed am i even writing........#who knows man. ok i'm done speaking like a fool goodbye peace & love 2 u all <3

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bluedalahorse · 1 year

Text

Does anyone else ever post their unfinished fic excerpts?

I was talking to @frogprincesnowglobe about unfinished fics from like, Fall/Winter 2021 last night, and then I showed her a little bit, and then she peer pressured me to post an excerpt. And I was feeling brave. SO I AM GONNA POST IT.

Some notes as to how this all came to be:

In summer/fall 2021 I’d just seen YR and it took over my brain. Because I’d been exposed to a lot of verse novels at grad school, I decided to write a fanfic in verse where Sara dates August with the purpose of going “undercover” and getting revenge on him. But these are teenagers so also some ~complicated feelings~ happen along the way. But also, there is a kind of revenge. I do love a good revenge narrative.

The fic I mentioned above Sara’s POV (and I did finish it and post it) but then I decided to do like a B side fic from August’s POV? That’s what this excerpt comes from. It’s in prose, because I also have been known to write prose.

Even right after season 1 finished, I was fairly certain that Sara and August were going to have some sort of romantic relationship in season 2 and he was going to fall in love with her and be absolutely swooning all over her in an unexpected way, so I kept trying to write that out to see exactly how it would play out. In the scene I’m posting below, she has just dumped him, and it’s totally upended his emotional world and he is very sad.

Eventually this fic was supposed to culminate in August turning himself in, though it wasn’t being dumped by Sara that was going to cause him to do that, at least not on its own. There were going to be Many Factors involved.

August griping about his stepdad is never not amusing to me.

Another plot point in this fic is that once upon a time, August’s mom and the queen had a secret sapphic relationship when they were teen girls at Hillerska. And now that’s all coming to the surface as the family tries to contain the scandal of the video and everything.

Anyway, I find this snippet of fic to be a SUPER interesting relic of like, my interpretation of August as a character right after I saw the show, possibly before season 2 was even announced. No, I don’t know why he’s the easiest character for me to write. He always has been, though.

Anyway. There’s not enough of the fic to make it an AO3 one shot and some of the canon is now contradicted anyway. I’m going to put the snippet behind a cut, because it’s long and because I know not everyone’s personal choice is to read August POV. That’s valid! But it’s here if you’re interested in reading more/seeing a glimpse of how I wrote before I de-lurked in the fandom.

After Sara leaves, August is a silent, seismic column of anger. First, he texts her. His messages plead, then compliment, then insult. No response arrives. For hours August paces through the hallways of the house, drawing power through its aging frame, until he’s hot like an overcharged battery. He dreams up every kind of revenge he can imagine: rumors he could spread about secrets Sara never told him, crude nicknames based on things they never did together, photos of her he could leak online that he never took. Except, none of it is based on the truth. Not like the actual truth of what he did to her brother. Anything he does, anything he says, she can throw that back at him by telling everyone about the video and turn him in. She probably will, soon. Or she’ll try.

And then August will have to tell everyone about Simon selling the drugs.

And then Sara will hate him even more.

The energy builds and builds inside of him, sparking like Tesla coils, but it has nowhere to go. All his answers to questions from Mamma and Rickard are one, two, three terse words. More like growls. He rips up old math tests as he clears out his school bag, and doesn’t care, smashes glass bottles as he takes out the recycling, and doesn’t care. He runs and runs and runs until he’s sure he’s done something to his knee but he keeps running anyway. Then on the final day of the long weekend he’s packing to go back to school, cleaning his toiletries out of the bathroom. It’s there that he finds a cluster of Sara’s hair elastics tied together with a ribbon in Hillerska red, and starts to cry.

He hasn’t cried for over a year. The crying is sudden and violent and convulsive, battering his entire body, forcing him to double over, to brace his hand against the wall for support. There are no single, silent, stoic teardrops. August can’t stand upright anymore, and he can’t touch enough of his face that he stops it from happening, so he sinks to the bathroom floor and lets it happen to him. On the other side of the wall he probably sounds just like his Pappa used to.

The real truth, one of a series of truths: he doesn’t want to hurt Sara. He’s thought of a thousand ways he could, but he won’t, because he loves how insistent she is that animals are better than people, loves how fussy she gets over table settings. He loves the few times they’ve shown one another childhood memories, like rough unfinished rocks, and the way they found beauty in the roughness without trying to polish everything over into meaningless crystal platitudes. He even loves Sara’s nobility—a new kind—nobility that has nothing to do with her birth, that instead erupted in the fierce defense of her brother and friends that ended things between them.

So August cries about Sara, because he already misses her, and underneath that he misses Pappa and Erik too, so he cries for them the way he hasn’t, yet. He cries for his mother, for all the pain she carries and hides every day. August cries for Wilhelm, because he understands now what it’s like to have a person you didn’t expect to feel so much for. He and Wille could have been friends, helped each other through this, joked about both falling hard and fast for Hillerska’s working class misfit siblings and how did they manage to coordinate that? Except that the timeline doesn’t work out, and Wille and Simon can’t be together because of what August himself did, and it can’t work because of what August believes to be true about the order of the world. At one point, August tries to tell himself that it’s Simon and Felice’s fault that everything is his fault, that it’s their fault that he leaked the video and spent last term being a dick, except, that isn’t true either. So he cries for himself, and what he’s let himself become.

He’s still crying when his mother finds him and sits down at his side. He’s too big for her to rock but she rocks him anyway, calls him mitt barn in a way he can’t remember her doing before. But she must have done it once, because something about it feels familiar. Mamma takes the hair ties out of August’s hand, gently. She looks at them with understanding before pressing them back into his palm.

“You really love her, don’t you?” Mamma says.

August nods against his mother’s shoulder, surprised and grateful that she knows to use the present tense. He thinks he’ll just leave it at that, and not say anything more, until his thoughts escape him just like the tears did.

“I don’t know why I feel something so grown up,” he says, “But now I’m acting like a bratty little kid about it. This crying is stupid. It all hurts and it’s so stupid.”

“You’re not even twenty yet.” Mamma lifts his chin and looks him in the eye. “That’s what it’s like at your age.” As he looks away, she adds, “That’s what it was like for me, too.”

“Does it stop?” August asks.

“Not really.” Mamma squeezes around his shoulders. “You’ll learn to push it down so it doesn’t bother you. And you’ll meet other people after high school, I promise.”

She looks up at the door, where Rickard is standing with a glass of water. How long has he been standing there, August wonders? Ordinarily August would glare or yell, but the inside of his mouth and his throat feel like cracked dry earth, so he takes the glass when his stepfather offers it to him.

Everything is surreal and quiet for a moment as August drinks. When the glass is empty, Mamma asks if he’s finished packing for Hillerska, and reminds him that he’ll need to go to bed early so they can be on the road before there’s too much traffic.

“Don’t make me go back to school,” he says. “Please. Not tomorrow, anyway.”

“You’ll be fine.” Something about his request is upsetting his mother. “You need school. You’ve never missed a day in your life.”

“Why not let him, if it’s just this once?” says Rickard, as if he belonged in this conversation at all.

“There’s a practical concern,” says Mamma. “I won’t be able to drive him back after tomorrow. My schedule’s tied up until—but maybe if I move things around I could—”

“I can take him.” Rickard nods toward August. “If that’s alright with you?”

“That’s fine,” August says.

Mamma looks back and forth between the two of them, bewildered. August thinks it shouldn’t be that hard for her to understand: if he’s going to be a miserable mess anyway, he may as well be stuck in a car with boring Rickard for a few hours.

Two days later, that’s exactly where they are. Rickard keeps his eyes on the road while August stares out the window, not even bothering to focus on the landscape. The trees and fields are so monotonous it’s easy to slip out of the world entirely, to let one’s mind go blank and detach from one’s body. Every time August notices it happening, he wonders if that’s what happened to Erik: no thoughts, only metal and fuel and velocity and oblivion.

“I promise I’m not trying to replace your father,” Rickard says, interrupting August’s imagination. “But if you need to talk to anyone about what happened with Sara—”

“No.”

“I thought so. In that case, I promise not to put on a breakup playlist. Though I did search for you. They had some inspired options on Spotify.”

“No.” A fucking breakup playlist, what the fuck. “You’re so annoying.”

“At least I’m consistent.”

August hates how in a way, the consistency helps.

The atmosphere in the car changes as they hit familiar stretches of evergreen forest and turns in the road that August recognizes. Soon the austere stones of Hillerska are visible between tree branches and, in spite of everything, August feels a surge of—not power, but possibility and control, at least. It’s like Mamma says: you need school. Even if he has to see Sara there. If August sticks to a schedule, attends all his classes, stays on top of his prefect duties, keeps playing the model student that the crown wants him to be, well. If he does all that and makes it through graduation, maybe he’ll finally be able to put everything behind him.

At school, August can put his armor back on.

He just can’t pretend that the armor is his skin anymore.

#young royals #august young royals #sara young royals #sargust #i mean i guess it’s sargust they are broken up here #my fic snippets #a fandom time capsule of sorts #this isn’t meant for ao3 but it may as well live here!

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aliendater-moved · 1 year

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yes yes burn the boyfriend

#i can't post this fic because Well it is saxual but ill post snippets. i guess. whatever #this is their flirting #(obligatory this is a villain fo and si yes is a self insert but altered significantly to fit the story #& doesnt necessarily reflect my views at all times)#at any time tbh djekthrkerorjrke

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imwritesometimes · 2 years

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bringing my laptop and notebook to bed every night like I'm gonna actually write 👍😌✍️

doing absolutely no writing, unable to focus on anything for any real amount of time, watching mindless tv for hours 🥴😔😑

#personal #literally this is making me insane like #I haven't been able to actually like... string together a coherent paragraph in almost 3 months now #and so more and more I'm like lol ok well guess that last fic really was the LAST one I feel no point #got nothin left. nothing worth anyone's time. I give up. quit. whatever. what the fuck was I ever even doing #gonna spend my weekend high watching the sad wet jədi meow meow and put my laptop in the back of my closet fuck it #this shit just makes so frustrated beyond belief it's like HOW did this same stupid brain ever write any goddamn thing #she can't write a snippet rn to save her life she's fuckin incompetent WHO IS SHE I HATE HER FUCKIN GOD #erin explains it all

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jessicas-pi · 11 months

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Behold, another fic snippet!! (It's a sequel to this one.)

———

Sabine stumbles as she rematerializes in a burst of light—it gets easier every time she does it, but she’s still terribly out of practice—slamming one hand against the wall to catch herself.

She looks around. She’d been aiming for somewhere inside the Ghost, anywhere inside the Ghost, anywhere that wasn’t right there.

She’s landed in Ezra’s room.

Of course she has.

Ezra.

Ezra, Ezra, Ezra.

That’s all anything is these days.

The one trying to get her out of her room and into daylight. The one looking worried whenever she’s spent longer than usual conferring with the holocron. The one telling her not to listen to the voices in her head. The one going out of his way to make sure she eats at least one meal a day.

The one, when it came down to it, keeping her from self-destructing.

“Did I hurt you?” his voice echoes, and she feels his phantom fingers trace over her cheek. She can feel the sticky blood from the little cut, now that she thinks about it.

He cared.

He cared if he hurt her, even if the whole point of their fight had been for them to beat each other up until she’d burned off her steam.

And Sabine?

Sabine wants to be cared about.

It’s weakness, she knows it’s weakness, but she is so—so—tired. She is tired of being strong. She is tired of digging deeper and deeper into the Darkness and she is tired of falling back into her old arts.

Did I hurt you, he had asked, sounding truly afraid that he had.

And she’d grabbed him by the arm, and impulsively brushed her lips against his wrist.

You’re dangerous, Ezra.

Sabine sighs and runs her fingers along one of her paintings on the wall as the decrepit crones haunting her speak up again, clamoring over the block she’s tried to put on them.

You’re attracted to him, aren’t you?!

You’ve never even seen his face!

He’s so young. So immature.

His idea of dealing with trauma is a fistfight!

Come home to us, sweet one, and we’ll give you a prettier boy.

One who cares enough to show you his face, hm?

Sabine blocks them out as best as she could.

It doesn’t matter if she sees his face or not. Blind people fall in love without ever seeing the other person’s face, right?

And she isn’t even in love.

She just… thinks he looked… good. In that one particular moment. That’s all.

Except that isn’t all, because it’s also the way he laughs sometimes, not a smug chuckle or a wry snort but a soft laugh that was gentle and good. It’s the way he goes out after her when her Force-hazes get the better of her and she wanders off into the Atollon desert to commune with the murder spiders, and she would come back to herself and find him guiding her by the hand or sometimes even carrying her back to their base.

It’s the way he’s gentle with her—and the way he’s downright murderous with anyone who threatens her.

I can take care of myself, she had told him once.

Not if I take care of you first, he’d said, and it sounded like a joke, but he had meant it.

Everything feels so big. It’s too much, and if she doesn’t get it out of her, she knows she will just make things worse.

Sabine needs to vent.

She needs a friend.

But other than Ezra, she has none, and she can’t tell this to any of the rest of the crew. It would mean telling—or at least hinting at—just how far she’s been dipping into the darkness.

So what can she do?

Maybe I have no friends to talk to, she realizes, inhaling quickly, but I don’t need a friend, do I? Just someone who will listen.

She casts out with her presence and finds no one in the hall, so she slips across into her new room. Ever since Malachor, she’s stopped sharing a room with Hera, and instead moved her things into Ahsoka’s room.

The holocron is right where she left it, and she sends it spinning open with a flick of her hand and a twist of Darkness.

Hello, child.

“How do I find someone?”

To the point, as always.

She ignores the commentary. “I need to track down a specific person. I don’t know where they are, but they’re a powerful Force-user who is strong with the Dark side. Can you help me find them?”

And who is this Dark acolyte? A friend?

“An acquaintance. An… enemy, but… not an enemy. I have to talk to them.”

Who is it, Sabine?

Sabine takes a breath.

She sighs.

“I need to find the Emperor’s Hand.”

#some hints at Sabine's backstory here!!#ngl her slow backstory revelation is one of the things I'm most excited for in this AU!!#well. that and the Living Waters scene. i'm also jazzed about that one. but you don't know about it yet :)#oh yeah and the part of the au where i accidentally stole the plot of anastasia! that too #and the Helmetless Scene obviously #okay okay so i guess there's several things i'm excited about lol #the scene after this one is like total crack because it's sabine pouring out her Issues while she sits in a bar and eats space m&ms #and the sith acolyte she's rambling to is just like '...that's rough buddy.'#fic snippet #fic sneak peek #twin blades and beskar au #sabezra

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leatherbookmark · 5 months

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it's half past 8am 20 to 9am and i'm feeling kinda. hmm. not exactly sleepy but i've been awake forrrrr 12 hours. どうすればいいか

#guess i could grab a coffee or something and go for a walk... i feel okay enough for that. and i could make it a short walk #so as not to die. hm #shrimp thoughts #get some oxygen for the general shrimp health. hmmm #yknow i've been staring at this fic for an hour&so and it still has 1.6k words. troubling.#i did notice though that when i decide to post a fic excerpt -- as in already putting it in some kinda text field -- i always end up editin #the fuck out of it. so maybe the key to Writing Well is pretending that i'm going to Share A Snippet #edit: ah no. i didn't notice but it must have rained at some point because the streets are Wet and the lawns are Soggy #which means no walk. and i can already feel the Tired in my brain #so i'll take a nap instead. v predictable turn of events

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msgexymunson · 2 months

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The Ink Shop

Description: Desperate for a job, you answer an advertisement not knowing it's a tattoo shop. It's not particularly difficult work, except for one thing: having to deal with Eddie Munson.

Warnings: NSFW, minors DNI or I'll tell your parents, fem reader, thick sexual tension, angst and smut. Fingering.

A/N: I finally wrote it! The teach me fic I've been day dreaming about forever. This will be part one of three, and honestly this is one of the hottest things I've written. If you enjoy it, please comment and reblog, it means the world to me.

8k words

Masterlist Part 2

Screwing your nose up in confusion, you look at the meticulously cut snippet of newspaper neatly attached to your resume with a paperclip. Sure enough, receptionist and administrator wanted for a place called ‘The Ink Shop’.

The outside of the building looks a little bleak, all decked out in black with frosted windows, but the fading lettering above does indeed spell out ‘The Ink Shop’.

Weird. This does not look like a printers.

You smooth down a minor wrinkle in your white shirt and open the door with unsure hands, the bell above ringing out loudly.

Oh.

This is not a printers. This is a tattoo shop.

The thought hadn't even crossed your mind. The noise is a cacophony of buzzing, rock music and loud conversation. Art hangs on every available wall, the wallpaper underneath a royal purple, faded over time. There's frames upon frames of predesigned pieces for people to choose from, and an enormous wooden counter, black and gouged with use, directly in front of the doors.

Taking a confidence boosting breath you march forward, pencil skirt stretching and heels clicking on the black and white linoleum, and stand by the counter. No one seems to have noticed your arrival, and a polite cough is not going to cut it.

“Hello?” Calling out to the shop, a devilishly handsome tattooed man in a ripped band shirt, black jeans and scuffed army boots turns his head. Loose dark curls escape a low bun and swivel with him, framing his animated face. He saunters over to the counter and towers over you, giving you an appraising look.

“You old enough to be in here sweetheart?” He asks, amused, as he points to the sign on the wall that states ‘Strictly Over 21s, no exceptions’.

“Yes?” You're trying to be confident but it comes out as a question, entirely taken aback by the strength of his stare.

“Oh, well then I'm Eddie,” he holds out a hand and you're forced to reach up to shake it, but to your surprise he doesn't let go. The skin is rougher than you thought it would be, and absolutely covered in small tattoos. “What is it today? Let me guess, cover up an ex boyfriend's name? I can help you forget all about him.”

The grin he shoots back is nothing short of predatory. All you can think of is that old childhood song, never smile at a crocodile…

“No, no, I'm here about the job?”

He looks genuinely surprised, taking in your outfit in another flagrant stare.

“Really? You?”

“Yes, me.” You respond, cheeks flushing in annoyance.

“Hey, Mac!” He calls over his shoulder and a big guy with a shaved head lowers his tattoo gun, glancing over at you both. “This girl's after a job?”

Mac stands up slowly and begins to walk over.

“You can let go now princess.”

Staring at Eddie dumbfoundedly, you realise his grip on your hand has softened completely. Whipping your hand away, you flash him a defiant eye. It's ineffective; he merely grins wider and winks at you, poking his tongue out playfully. You see a hint of silver, a tongue piercing.

“Hey there, I'm Mac, the owner.” another handshake, but gentler and brief. You introduce yourself and go to hand him your resume.

A phone rings on the counter and Mac shouts “no!” just as Eddie picks it up.

“Mac’s Roadkill Café, from your grill to ours.” Eddie delivers the line as smooth as silk, never taking his eyes off you. “Yeah, it's Eddie, of course. Oh, I'll tell him. Thanks.”

As Eddie turns to Mac he's given a small but effective slap to the back of the head by Mac.

“What did I tell you, stop answering like that!”

Eddie just grins wider and looks at you again, a fake pout on his full lips.

“You see that? Harassment in the workplace. Wanna kiss it better?”

Mac shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, then turns to face you again.

“Are you immediate start?”

“Er, yeah. I've got my resume, and references here-”

“Listen Miss, if you can read and write, answer a phone, and put up with that-” he says, gesturing a thumb at Eddie, “then you've got the job.”

Thank God, two of those references were your best friend with different names. Stunned, you just nod fast.

“Great. Tomorrow morning. We open at 10am.”

Saying goodbye, you turn to exit, and risk one final glance over your shoulder. Eddie's still at the counter. A disarming wink, and then the door shuts behind you.

********************

So, not exactly what you expected, but a job's a job. After getting a degree, you'd assumed doors would open, but a string of coffee houses later and here you are. You'll take it.

It's 9:30 am, and you stand outside, wondering whether or not to try the door. Keen, but not too keen. It's a line you're trying to toe without much experience, especially with an establishment like this.

A pretty woman with an undercut and a butterfly neck tattoo stirs you out of your calculations.

“Hey, I'm Chloe. You're the new girl, right? Eddie bet you'd be early.”

Blushing at the entirely accurate first impression, you try to stop your nose scrunching in distaste. As if reading your mind, Chloe chuckles.

“Ah, don't worry about him, he's an idiot. Come on, I'll show you the ropes.”

Chloe is the piercer that basically rents a place in the shop, where she's been for around three years, she explains. There's also Julio, who does more realistic tattoo work, and Miranda who works part time.

Chloe turns out to be warm and welcoming, showing you how they book clients in, how to take payments, and the phone note system. It's straightforward work, stuff you'll master in no time. In fact, you feel comfortable enough by 10 am to sit at the counter on your own.

Mac arrives on time, giving you a quick check in and taking down all your information on a yellow legal pad.

“Do you not have a computer in here?” you ask, genuinely puzzled.

“Oh no, not yet. I don't know how to work those things, Miss.” Mac chuckles, and gets to his station to prepare for his first client.

At 10:45 am Eddie walks through the door as if he owns the place.

Your eyes widen at his brazen lateness, but no one seems to bat an eyelid. It boils your blood; to be that disrespectful and clearly not care. How could someone act like that?

“Hey princess, didn't think you'd come back,” he smiles, reaching for your hand.

Oh I'm not falling for that again.

You pull your hand into your lap, expecting trickery from him. A smug grin smears across his face at the gesture, as if he knew you'd do that. It makes you even more annoyed.

“Eddie, the book says you start,” you say, flicking through the tome in front of you, “ah, at 10 am today.”

“It's walk-in Wednesday sweetheart. There's no one here.”

He's got a point. Chloe had explained the tattoo artists work a shift of Wednesdays, someone is always available for walk-ins for small and pre designed pieces. Today is Eddie's turn, and he's right, no one is here.

“Well, there could have been,” you snark back, folding your arms.

He crosses into the shop, pushing the little gate open and stands next to you, arms crossed. The height you had is now lost, forcing you to look up at him.

“As far as I know, you ain't the boss of me. I suggest taking the stick out of your ass before you come here.”

Mouth falling open in outrage, you move to reply but he's already turned away.

“Oh, and princess, there ain't a dress code.”

He's gone, disappearing upstairs. Blushing crimson, you cross your arms as if you can hide the conservative outfit you're wearing.

You're beginning to see why Mac asked if you could put up with Eddie.

********************

Halfway through the day, you realise just why Mac puts up with Eddie.

“Hey! Seeing if I can book with Eddie?”

“Any appointments with Eddie?”

“Just checking to see if Eddie had any cancellations?”

It seems most calls are about him. As you check his schedule, it's not only fully booked for the next 6 months, they've even started a waiting list at the back.

“Any walk-ins?”

The words next to your ear make you jump bodily, almost losing your place on your chair in alarm.

“You scared me! No, I would have said,” turning to him, you're sucked into those deep brown eyes once again. “Why do you do walk-in Wednesdays if you're so… so popular?”

Eddie flashes a smile at you, full of self importance. “I don't know sweetheart, Van Gogh wasn't made to doodle!” Shouting the last part at the back of Mac's head, he turns to you. “We just divided the shifts, so it was fair, that's all. Why, want a tattoo?”

You roll your eyes. “No, I was just wondering.”

“Do you have any, princess?”

“Not that it's any of your business, but no, I don't.”

The laugh that rips from Eddie's chest is hearty and full of amusement.

“You work in a tattoo shop and you don't have any? That's practically blasphemy!”

The little bell above the door rings, and a nervous guy looks around before walking in. Before you see what he wants, you shout to Eddie's retreating back.

“Van Gogh was only famous after he died, you know!”

It's a little later on in the day; you've done a stock take, ordered more ink, and neatened up the consent sheets three times. The phone hasn't rung in a while, and you're bored out of your mind.

Chloe walks over, coat in her hand.

“Hey, how you getting on?”

“I'm good, just bored.”

She laughs, “it's not always this quiet, mid week and all. Mac's done for the day, and I'm heading off. You gonna be OK?”

You glance over to Eddie, who to your surprise is tattooing his own fingers.

“What, with the untrained monkey? I'll live.”

She laughs harder at that, “he's not so bad, once you get to know him.” Lowering her voice, she whispers, “he's good at some things, you know.” The conspiratorial wink fills in what she isn't saying. Cheeks flushed, you gawp at Eddie and back at Chloe.

“Huh? W-what, are you like, an item?” You ask, entirely thrown.

“Oh no, he's not exactly boyfriend material. It was just one night, but bloody hell. Anyway, it's not like that anymore, we're just friends now. Maybe you two should just, you know.”

A blush floods your face, almost reaching the roots of your hair. “I don't- I don't, do that.”

“I'm just saying, it's an option. It'd stop the bickering at least. I can sense the tension from all the way over there.”

Without a further word, she leaves you sitting on your stool, trying to remember how to breathe.

Right, let's just play nice.

Walking over to his station, you try to glimpse what he's tattooing.

“I thought Van Gogh wasn't made to doodle” you quip, trying to keep it light.

“This is different” he responds, not looking up at you.

“You know, that's a waste of a needle.”

Eddie turns the machine off and rolls his eyes at you.

“Who made you Princess of the Needles, hmmm?”

“Mac did actually, when he asked me to check the stock,” you reply hotly, folding your arms. Stopping for a second, you take a breath. Play nice, you're supposed to be playing nice.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to-”

Eddie turns the machine back on and continues with his impromptu tattoo.

“Can't you just be… professional?” You ask over the buzzing.

“Can't you just relax for a second? No ones here. Fuck, you need to get laid.”

Mouth dropping open in shock, you grab your bag and stomp out of the store, anger fuelling every step.

********************

Right, be calm, put together. You've dealt with worse people.

It's true. At the coffee shop you had on edge caffeine addicts shout in your face almost on a daily basis, but none of them got under your skin like Eddie did. Then again, none of them had spat truths like venom in your face.

Breathe. Just breathe.

Taking the leap, you walk into the shop, coffees and a tray of donuts in hand; a small peace offering. To your surprise, he is already at his station, sorting through ink pots.

You make quick work of handing out coffee and donuts to everyone, until you reach his side. There's plastic wrap around one of his fingers, you assume from his little tattoo session yesterday. It only serves to remind you of how tetchy you were.

“Morning Eddie.”

“So you came back. Tough little princess ain't ya? Remove the stick from your ass yet?” The grin he flashes you is wide but there's a bite to his words.

He's trying to rile you up, but you ignore it, thrusting a coffee at him.

“I'll be nice if you will.”

Tension laces the air as he stares at your outstretched hand, but he takes the coffee.

“I'm sorry Eddie.”

Opening the box of donuts, you gesture for him to take one. He does, stuffing half of it into his mouth.

“What about you?” you ask.

“Huh?” He mumbles through a mouthful of crumbs.

“Are you sorry…?”

“What for?”

Setting your jaw, your hand is about two seconds from slapping the shit out of him, but you need the money. So, you huff and walk away.

“What did I do?” He huffs, shouting it to the shop.

“You should just say sorry, you've clearly upset her.” Chloe calls over to him, a slight smile on her face.

“Yeah, how do you know?”

“You upset everyone Eddie.” She laughs, and stands to greet her first client.

It's a tense kind of day, with neither you nor Eddie backing down, only speaking to each other if absolutely necessary. By the time everyone's left it's just you and him again.

He's finishing up with a client, telling them about aftercare as they gush about their new ink. It's difficult to deny, the guy is talented. This phoenix tattoo looks like it's popping right off of the skin, the flames so bright and detailed you could swear you saw them move.

Once they've left, there's an awkward pause. Eddie breaks the silence first.

“Listen, I'm sorry sweetheart. I shouldn't have been rude to you. So I'll make you a deal. I'll give you a tattoo, for free, and we ask each other questions, get to know each other. What do you say?”

Smiling in spite of yourself, you turn to face him. “And why would I want a tattoo?”

He visibly relaxes at your grin, and flashes one of his own. “Come on, I'm the best. I promise I'll be gentle.”

“We close at six, so it'll have to wait.”

Eddie looks at the clock, and bobs his head with each tick. Twenty seconds later he turns to you, eyebrows raised.

“Fine, I suppose it is a bit silly to work in a tattoo shop with no ink.”

He punches the air with glee, forcing you to smile despite your better judgement.

“Well then, what are you thinking, got any ideas in mind?”

“I want a heart on my hip” he groans, putting his face in his hands, “hang on, before you judge, I want one like this.”

Pulling a book from your bag, you turn to the page neatly bookmarked. It's an anatomical heart from a textbook you own, a line and dot drawing.

“Oh.” Eddie's eyes light up, “that's pretty metal, actually. So, you just happen to have this on you?”

“No, I've been thinking about it for a while. It's… not what people would expect. And when I got the job here, I was working up the courage to get it. Carrying around the book was a promise to myself, I think.”

He busies himself with getting a stencil ready, the drawing supplied speeding up the process.

“Right, climb on up princess, show me where you want it.”

Blushing, you unzip your skirt at the back and roll it down slightly, shifting your blouse up high. The smile Eddie gives you is salacious, but he doesn't say a word.

“Right here?” Softly his fingertips graze you, making you jump. That simple act crackles over your skin in an electricity unknown to you.

“Y-yes,” you practically whisper it, face crimson.

“So, questions. Can I go first?”

“Sure” you nod, feeling vulnerable flashing this much skin.

“OK,” he starts, pressing the stencil down, “I'll start with an easy one. How old are you?”

“23.”

He nods, prepping the needle, “your turn princess.”

“How old are you?”

“Ah, copycat,” he grins, testing the gun, the sudden noise making you jump, “I'm 30 sweetheart. I know, I look younger.”

Act younger is more like it.

“I'm gonna start, you still alright?”

“Uh huh.”

“Atta girl. It'll feel like a scratch.”

He leans forward as his words burn your insides. Atta girl? Part of you wanted to tell him you're not a fucking horse, but another, deeper, part keens at the praise, kicking it's feet and twirling its hair like some dizzy schoolgirl.

The needle touches and you jump, but it's fine. It's easy. If anything, it's rather nice? You gasp at the feeling, your feet wiggling.

“Right, next question. Why here, why this job?”

The gun is moving across your skin, consuming all rational thought. You could lie, but a part of you feels like he'd know somehow.

“I thought it was a printers shop, or a copy place.”

He laughs briefly, but continues to focus on your new ink.

“I knew it. Pretty, innocent thing like you, wandering into this den of depravity? Too good to be true.”

Glazing over his comment, you think of a question to ask.

“How did you start working here?”

Eddie scoffs and turns off his machine for a moment, “you need to get creative, stop using my questions.”

“I really want to know!” You say, meeting his derisory look.

“Fine, quid pro quo and all that shit. Been here seven years. I begged. I begged Mac for an apprenticeship everyday for a week. He gave in, and here I am. Ask something else, that was boring.”

You wrack your brains, trying to think of something original, far too aware of the steadying hand that he's pushing onto your abdomen.

“What band is that?”

It's the only thing that pops into your mind. He follows your eye line to his t-shirt.

“Oh this? This is my band, Corroded Coffin. You should come see us sometime.”

“Oh, what do you play?”

His face lights up, “I sing, and play guitar. That's why my fingers are so rough-” he holds one up, covered in black latex, “-oh yeah, gloves.”

After you both share a chuckle, there's a breath of quiet between you, except for the sound of the tattoo gun.

“My turn,” he says, smiling at your hip, “I gotta know, are you a virgin?”

It's a miracle that he's as responsive as he is, since the question knocks you sideways. You sit up in shock, but he's already moved the needle off and away.

“You can't just ask that, it's… it's rude!” you splutter, face glowing red.

There's no trace of apology on his face. In fact, his grin only widens with your reply.

“I thought so. Don't worry, I'm not gonna tease you about it.”

Laying back down, you try to think of something to say, but it just doesn't arrive. He can read you like an open book and it's deeply unsettling, not to mention embarrassing.

“Your turn princess.”

“I don't want to play anymore.”

“Oh come on, I'm being nice! Ask me something.”

“Fine. What was your last wet dream about?”

To your dismay, he smiles yet again.

“You, sweetheart.”

Huffing, you cross your arms in annoyance. “Fine, don't answer.”

He's focusing on your tattoo, tongue poking out in concentration, “I'm nearly done, then you can go back to hating me.”

“I don't hate you. I've never hated anyone,” you respond in truth. Eddie's eyebrows raise, but he remains focused.

“Really? You must have had a much better childhood than mine.”

It's quiet for a bit. You're not sure how to respond to that, feeling the cloud of his memory hanging thickly in the air between you.

“All done.”

“Huh?”

He chuckles and points at your new ink, “take a look.”

It's beautiful. All line and dot work, like it was pulled from the book itself and glued to your hip.

“It's amazing Eddie. Thank you.”

The grin he shoots you is warm as he wraps your new ink and then removes his gloves. “No problem. I'll lock up, the sheets on aftercare are right there. But you knew that.”

Smiling affectionately, you take one and stand up, hovering for a second.

“Eddie what do I owe-”

“-not a damn thing. See you in the morning, princess.”

********************

The next few days were much more pleasant. Eddie was flirty, yes, but he seemed to understand when to stop. You had been nicer to him, biting back on the comments when you could. There was a rhythm to it, a constant dance of him flustering you and you annoying him.

Things really felt like they were falling into place. Until Eddie decided to cross the line.

Walk in Wednesday again, and the shop was dead. Julio was on shift, sitting in the back having a nap.

“Hey Mac, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it Miss?”

“Well, how do people know about our Wednesdays?”

“Mostly word of mouth. We handed out flyers before, but it didn't really pick up. Honestly, I'm thinking of scrapping it.” He shrugs, taking a sip of coffee.

“Before you do, I have an idea. I can design some flyers, get them out to the coffee shop I used to work at. It's by campus, I'm sure a few students would jump at the chance. You could offer a student discount, get them in the door?” You stare at him wide eyed, hoping he likes the idea. The little speech was one you'd practised about fourteen times before actually saying it to him.

He stares at you for a moment, then smiles. “You know, that's a good idea. I like it. Tell you what, you make it a success and I'll give you a raise.”

“Oh, thank you! I'll get on it.” You beam, and start planning the flyer.

Ten minutes later you have your head down, your attention entirely on the paper in front of you. The noisy shop was purely a background soundtrack, including the approaching footsteps. Then, there's a whisper, directly in your ear.

“What you up to, princess?”

“Fuck!”

You scream it out and jump so high you fall off your stool. Eddie's in bits, laughing so hard he's clutching his stomach.

“I'm sorry I didn't mean to,” he says, looking the least sorry you've ever seen a person look.

Clambering off the floor to berate him, your mouth flops open when you hear a rip. As you desperately turn your head to look down, you see where your pencil skirt has torn right next to the seam nearly up to your ass.

“Fuck's sake Eddie! What the hell am I gonna do!”

Hands shaking, you clench your jaw in panic, trying to frantically come up with a way to rectify it. Eddie holds his hands up to you as if he were approaching a wild animal.

“Just calm down princess, it's only a skirt.”

Pouting, you hit him on the arm.

“It's not just a skirt! I can't work like this, how can I go home and change, I won't be able to fix it and-”

Eddie smiles and holds one of your hands.

“It's gonna be OK, we can sort something out. You seriously need to chill, have a big O or something.” He chuckles, clearly meaning for it to be a joke, but it's hitting too close to home.

It's never happened for you. You've kissed guys, sure, but whenever they reach into your pants, it's either uncomfortable or downright painful. Even your own desperate fumblings haven't got you there. Most of the time you just feel stupid and awkward trying to touch yourself. So, you'd given up, thinking you're broken. That it'll never happen for you.

Tears well immediately in your eyes. He knows he fucked up, it's written all over his face. As he opens his mouth to speak you rip your hand from his grasp and run to the restroom sobbing.

It's stupid, it's so stupid. You know that, but the tears won't stop falling, face hot and scrunched as you sit on the closed toilet seat with your head in your hands. Your breath is heavy, gulping and wet; you dimly wonder if you can just stay here until the shop closes.

There's a gentle knock on the door.

“Sweetheart, can I come in?” It's Eddie, voice softer than you've ever heard it.

“Go away” you manage. It's shaky and pathetic sounding, but it's out there.

“I'm not going anywhere. Talk to me, you'll feel better, I promise.”

He tries the door, turning the handle before you get a chance to lock it. Jumping upright, you go to push him away but he grabs your wrist and pulls you into him. His embrace takes away that edge and pretty soon you're just sobbing into his chest.

As he strokes the back of your head, he makes shushing noises, his other arm wrapped tight around your shoulders. You're not sure how long you stay like that, in the warmth of his hold, his body pressed against yours. The tenderness calms you down until your tears stop, but he doesn't pull away.

After a while, he whispers, “feel a little better?”

“Y-yeah,” you say, voice returning to itself.

Only then does he release you, rubbing a thumb under your eye to wipe moisture away.

“I didn't mean to hurt you. You wanna go somewhere and talk about it?”

“I- I've never- I don't talk about- I-” you shake your head as if to clear it. A part of you wants to hit him, to shout at him, but his gaze is so concerned that you agree. Your shoulders slump, losing a bit of tension. “OK.”

Smiling at you, he whips his flannel shirt off, leaving him in a white vest, and ties it around your waist.

“For your modesty. Come with me.”

Puzzled, you follow him out of the bathroom and back into the shop where Mac is sitting looking worried.

“What's going-”

Eddie interrupts, “emergency late lunch needed, alright? Can you cancel my 3 o clock?”

Mac seems confused, but looks at Eddie's earnest face, and your emotional one, and nods.

“Not a problem.”

“Thanks, man.”

Before you can ask where you're going, he pulls you from the shop by the arm and across the street into a dimly lit bar, depositing you in the nearest booth.

“I'll be right back.”

If he's uncomfortable by his appearance, he doesn't show it. The way he strides up to the bar, it's as if he owns the place. It's remarkable, the sheer confidence he embodies like a second skin.

“Hey, John!” He hollers, knuckles knocking on the wood of the bar.

John appears, a gruff, stocky guy with a buzz cut and a sour face.

“What the fuck are you doing here.”

“Oh come on, you know you missed me.”

John's face screws into something akin to a smile. “What do you want, you little shit.”

“I love it when you talk dirty,” Eddie grins and winks, “two beers please.”

A grunt and a nod, and John puts the beers down on the bar. As Eddie reaches for his wallet John waves a hand in dismissal.

“Put that away boy, your money ain't good here. Besides, your lady friend looks like she needs it.”

You flush and tear your eyes away, embarrassed. Eddie walks back over and puts a beer in front of you.

“Eddie, we're still working I-”

“It's one beer. It's alright.”

You shrug and take a sip, nodding at the bartender, “he knows I'm upset, do I look a mess?”

Shaking his head so hard it releases some of his wayward waves from their confines, he tips his beer at you, before he takes a long chug.

“No,” he says enthusiastically, “you look just as pretty as you always do.”

Scoffing, you turn your eyes downward. Eddie ignores your response, instead pressing on what happened earlier.

“Sorry again,” he says, sounding genuinely distressed, "I don't want to see anyone hurt from something I said, least of all you.”

Meeting his gaze, you smile incredulously. “Oh? And why me?”

“Come on, don't make me say it.”

Staring at him, you fold your arms in an act of defiance. He rolls his eyes and looks at you.

“I like you. You're uptight, and mean to me, and a little conceited, but I like you. I don't want you to hurt. Can we just be friends? I'm a pretty good listener, you know? I can help.”

Heat floods your insides. Eyes scanning him for any sign of a joke, you come up empty.

‘I'm not conceited,” you counter weakly, clinging on to the familiar push and pull.

“And I'm the Easter bunny.”

Giggling, you take another sip of beer.

“Come on, friends? Talk to me.”

Sighing deeply, you fix your gaze at the table, forefinger tracing patterns in the condensation from your drink. “Promise not to laugh?”

“I promise.”

You can't tell how genuine he's being, as you don't dare look at his face, nerves controlling your every limb. His voice seems honest enough.

“I- I have a problem, something I can't physically do. You reminded me of it. It's not your fault.” Shrugging in an attempt to make this look less serious than it is for you, you take a pull out of your beer bottle once more.

“Wait, are you saying…” he chuckles a little in disbelief, “have you never… had an orgasm before?”

“Eddie, be quiet!” You urgently whisper, looking around the bar.

“No one's listening sweetheart, no spies in here,” he says in a low tone, hand reaching out to grasp yours. Your first instinct is to shake his hand away but he holds firm, rough fingertips rubbing against your knuckles.

“Eddie, I'm broken,” you whimper, voice breaking, “I can't do it.”

“Oh sweetheart,” he responds, chock full of emotion, “you're not broken. You are perfect.”

Pulling your hand away, you keep your eyes away from his, unwilling to meet that burning gaze of his. Unwilling to lose yourself in those sultry dark eyes.

“I can't do it. Anytime some guy tries, it hurts. I've given up to be honest. I just wasn't made for it.”

He laughs again, dragging his hand over his face.

“Fuck, sweetheart, the problem ain't you. Have you- have you tried, fixing it, on your own?” The last part is a whisper, you assume to protect your feelings.

“Yeah, but I just feel stupid and awkward. I don't know.”

There's a little silence between you as you both dwell in the suffocating fog of your confession, neither of you willing to clear it.

“Listen, this may be way out of your comfort zone, but I'm saying it anyway. If you don't like it, we'll forget it, and I won't mention it again.”

Finally looking at him, at the vulnerability on his face, you nod, not trusting your voice.

“I can… maybe I can help you. Show you you're not broken? As a favour between friends.”

You laugh mirthlessly and finish your beer. “That's a little more than a favour, Eddie.”

“We can keep it professional.”

You stare at him wide eyed. His messy hair and dark glittering eyes. At the way he slumps in his seat like a king or a delinquent, you can't decide which. At his taunt frame, the tattoos spackling every available inch of his skin. Your eyebrows raise of their own accord.

“Professional? You?”

“Yeah, me! I can do it, you know. I could make you come.”

A shiver forces its merry way down your spine at his words.

“You're really confident.”

“You haven't seen what I can do.”

Blushing hard, you attempt to control yourself. “Look, if we're going to do this, I need you to promise some things.”

“Ah, of course, you would have rules,” he grins, as he leans back and spreads in his seat, “continue.”

Searching your mind for a moment, you try to glean what you need.

“First of all, we need to be discreet, and professional at all times, clear?”

“As crystal,” he grins wolfishly, “anything else?”

“Yeah- I think,” you wrack your brains, trying to come up with something that would make this less intimate. Anything. But the roguish nature of his presence makes it hard to even think of a thing. Finally, your eyes widen at the idea that suddenly crosses your mind.

“Final rule. No kissing.”

He pouts, looking at your chest and back up, “no kissing anywhere?”

“N-no, no kissing on the mouth.”

Grin returning, he winks at you, a gesture that flips your stomach inside out.

“Kinky. Alright, deal,” he leans forward to give his hand to yours. A hand covered in ink and calluses. Roughness and tenderness.

You shake it.

********************

For the next couple of days, your little arrangement isn't brought up. A wild thought hammers itself into your mind; either he wasn't serious, or you imagined it.

Those theories are put to bed on day three.

After you let Mac know about the flyers and the bonus poster you designed, you sit back and enjoy the praise given to you. It's funny, the feeling of being told a job has been well done makes you happier than you care to admit.

Eddie turns up at the counter, whistling through his teeth. “Sweet looking flyers, how'd you swing those?”

“I designed them. I've got a degree in design and marketing, if you didn't know,” you sniff, rearranging the stationary on the counter to avoid his eyes.

“Maybe you could help me design some for my band. These look pretty metal.” He says, picking one up and looking at it closely.

“Maybe.”

Eddie leans in close, so close you feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek.

“If you're still up for our arrangement, I'm free tonight.”

Heat immediately flushes your face. Ignoring him entirely, you write your address and a time on a notepad, and thrust the paper into his hands.

“Covert, I like it. See you then princess.”

By the time 9pm rolls around you're a jittery mass of nerves, having changed clothes no less than four times, tidied your apartment, changed the bedsheets and paced so much you're surprised there's not a groove in the floorboards.

In the end you'd decided on a baggy band t-shirt and your sleep shorts. It was a rational calculation to make Eddie think you're just wearing what you usually would at home and therefore show you're not nervous. I mean, you are wearing what you'd usually wear at home. He didn't need to know about how long it took you to reach that decision.

The sound of the intercom buzzing sends your pulse into overdrive. Pressing the button, you let out a strangled “Hello?”

“Hey princess.”

“Come on up.”

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…

A soft knock at the door and you count to five, trying to remember how to breathe. When you open the door, you're stunned. He's leaning on the doorframe in a fucking button up shirt. It's black, and clings to him deliciously. His hair looks a little damp, loose around his shoulders, and his aftershave is making you feel dizzy.

“Oh, you didn't need- I mean-” you point at his shirt, and he looks down and chuckles.

“Just came from band practice. Took a shower, and this was clean,” he shrugs and shoulders into your apartment. “Nice place. Where's all your stuff?”

You look around at your sparse apartment. Everything in order, down to the fresh flowers on your tiny dining table.

“This is all my stuff,” you say, confused, “I don't like clutter.”

He chuckles, walking over to you. “No wonder I annoy you. I am clutter.”

He's close now, close enough so that you have to look up to see his face. His rough fingers ghost your arm, sending a wave of goosebumps over your skin.

“Nice seeing you in something casual. L7, right?” He asks, pointing at the t-shirt.

“Yeah, you know who they are?”

“I'm surprised you do. Thought you'd be a Mariah Carey kinda girl.”

You scrunch your face in distaste. “No, not at all. You don't know everything about me.”

He leans in, warm breath a whisper in your ear. “I know some things about you.”

Squirming hotly, you lead him to your room before you lose your nerve.

“So, the princess's bedchamber. It's nice,” he remarks, flopping down on the bed as if it were his own.

“Take your boots off,” you snip, folding your arms.

“Ah, there she is.” He smiles, but does as instructed. Once more he's laying back into your scattered pillows looking perfectly at ease. You, on the other hand, stand there, spine a vertical rod as you stare back at him.

“Come on then, sit down.”

Nervously you sit at the foot of the bed with your legs crossed.

“Now princess, what do you do when you touch yourself?”

Blushing furiously, you stammer out, “what, do you expect me to like, show you?”

He chuckles, diffusing some of the tension. “As much as I'd like that, I don't think you're ready for that kinda shit. Just tell me, what's your thought process?”

Staring at him for a little too long, you open your mouth and close it again. He rolls his eyes.

“Look, if you want me to help I'll help, but you gotta give me something here.” He looks as if he's about to get up and leave; your arm shoots out on its own accord, grabbing his leg to stop him.

“Sorry, sorry. I just, I've never spoken about this kinda stuff. I don't know about any process, I just… reach down and fiddle around?” You blush even more.

“So you don't like, watch anything? Or read anything?” He looks a little amused.

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“Porn, sweetheart.”

It's so blunt that you jump a little. “Oh no, I've never, oh no no.”

“Christ,” he whispers, “right, you can like, set the mood. Look at something to turn you on? It'd probably help you feel less awkward.”

“Oh. Right.”

“And do you ever just like, slouch? I feel like I'm back at school looking at ya.”

“Huh?”

“Just, come here.” He pats the little space between his spread legs and you hesitate for a second before you crawl over to him.

“How do you want me to sit, like cross legged or-”

He grabs your hips and spins you, forcing your back into his crotch.

“Stop trying to control every little thing,” he says in a hard tone, one you're too embarrassed to admit makes your insides tingle. Softer, he continues. “Look, if you're ever gonna get there you need to relax, stop trying to control it, and stop overthinking.”

“Great, all of the things I'm shit at.”

His laugh is loud, it vibrates into your spine. “I'll help you, OK? You trust me?”

“In a very limited sense of the word, yeah.”

“Lemme rephrase. You still OK to do this?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Just relax.”

You're not sure what you are expecting, but it certainly isn't his hands winding into your hair, fingertips rubbing softly at your scalp. It shoots tingles down your spine, your entire head feeling fuzzy and warm.

You stifle a whimper, biting your lip. His fingers stop.

“If you want to make noises, you can. Tells me I'm doing a good job. That goes for everything else too, alright?”

“Alright.” You whisper.

“You comfortable?”

“Yeah it's just- well-”

“Tell me.”

“I think it's your shirt buttons, they're digging into my back a bit,” you admit, feeling the sharp points down your spine.

“Easily fixed.” He taps your arm and you lean forward. Some rustling, and he throws his shirt to the foot of your bed.

“Now just chill sweetheart.”

His fingers begin rubbing at you again, thumbs sinking low to pop at the bubbles in your neck.

“Fuck, that's really nice.”

He hums appreciatively, working his hands lower and dropping them to your shoulders. The massaging continues, and you feel yourself melting, your body moulding into his. Your legs, once ramrod straight, have bent a little and parted of their own accord, the muscles loosening. Even your breathing has slowed.

“That's better, atta girl,” he says and you whine at the words, a little pathetic mewling sound that tumbles past your lips.

“Oh, you like that, don't you?” The smile is evident in his voice, a smug tone smeared liberally across each word.

“You, you're so-” you begin, but his hand drags across the front of your shirt, just over the tops of your breasts.

“I'm so what?” He whispers in your ear.

“So, so arrogant,” you huff. He laughs, a husky chuckle, and dances the tips of his fingers over your clothed nipple. Gasping, you grasp at his thighs either side of you.

“Yeah? What else am I?” He says, nibbling at your earlobe.

“You- you're cocky, and- and self assured- Oh God!”

Rudely interrupted by him tweaking your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, you swear, back arching off of him for a moment.

“You know,” he says in a gravelly tone directly in your ear, “those are pretty much the same thing.”

“You drive me crazy,” you huff, squirming a little against him as his hands explore your chest over your shirt.

“Good crazy or bad crazy?” He smiles, then bites softly at your neck.

“I- I haven't decided yet.”

“Good. I can say the same about you,” he admits, his hands trailing lower, pulling your shirt up so he can stroke at your bare sides. The touch of fingertips on your skin sends a river of sensations through you that run deep into your core.

“Are you going to- what are you doing, exactly?” You breathe, starting to move against him.

“I'm warming you up sweetheart. Why, don't you like it?”

Genuinely curious, you try to ask what you want to know without using the words.

“N- no, I do. Do you have to, erm, get warmed up? When you, you know.”

He lets out a little huff of a laugh. “Guys are a little less… complicated, than girls. For the most part.”

“Oh. OK, so you can just. I mean, you just, get excited?” Your breathing becomes more ragged when the tip of his thumb grazes the underside of your breast.

“Sweetheart, I got hard seeing you in these little shorts.” Running a finger down your stomach, he lightly pings the elastic of your sleep shorts as if to accentuate his point.

“Really?”

There's no denying it when he moves his hips up and you feel his solid bulge press into the small of your back.

“Really. Can I take this off?” He asks, twisting the hem of your shirt in one hand.

“Yeah.” It's a whisper. You're a little scared of being bare chested, but not having to see his face helps. Plus, he's wound you up so much you're on the verge of begging for his touches, pleading for more.

He guides your top up, up, up, revealing you slowly. Coaxing it over your head, you move your arms up so he can remove it. It ends up in a heap on top of his shirt. One tattooed arm wraps around your waist, pulling you toward him more, his hardness pushing against your ass.

His breathing is unsteady as he grinds his hips, pushing onto you further. Gasping, your fingers are vices, firmly attached to his thighs in a vain attempt to anchor you.

Suddenly his hand is winding into your hair, tugging your head aside so he can run a fat tongue across your neck. You shudder at the sensation, feeling the hard ball of his tongue piercing against your throat When he takes his pillowy lips and sucks at the spot between your neck and shoulder a moan slips out. Grunting in approval, his hands are on your bare tits, fingers pinching at your hardened nipples.

“Holy hell!”

He laughs, running rough fingers down your body, circling your new ink, then dipping down past your waistband. Those tattooed fingers barely brush your pubic hair, teasing you, then glide back up to your stomach.

“Eddie, please.”

Your voice is small, not your own. Eddie groans low in your ear, rubbing his length into the fat of your ass.

“Fuck, princess, I like you saying my name like that. You want me to touch you right here?” he says, pressing down hard over your clothed clit.

The sheer relief of having his touch where you need it gets you close to tears; a gulping shudder of a sob rips from deep in your chest.

“See, you're not broken, sweetheart. Can I take these off?”

Shaking, you hook your fingers into your sleep shorts and pull them down your legs, air hitting your most intimate area. Eddie huffs in your ear, his inked hands rubbing up the insides of your thighs.

“You're so fuckin’ sexy.”

Before you can retort, his fingers dip down to your entrance, gathering your slick. You can hear how wet you are, but it's not in you to think about it. You can't think, only feel.

When his fingers run up and start rubbing circles into your clit, your response is visceral. Bucking up, you chase the feeling, searching for even more.

“I'm gonna slip a finger in, alright princess?”

You nod, waiting for the pain, wincing before it even starts.

“It's OK, you're fine, you gotta relax baby.” He strokes your stomach with his free hand, pressing kisses to your temple.

The tip of his finger breaches you, and the pain doesn't come. Your soaking wet cunt invites him in, warm and pulsing with arousal. He slips it into the hilt, his palm pressing into your clit, and your moan is long and loud. It's never felt like this. Never has it stoked a fire in your gut, bubbled your insides like pop rocks and Coke, turned you into a writhing mess.

He fucks his finger into you, slipping a second in to join the first, and you move your hips, chasing the building tightness in your belly. Each thrust of his hand has you bucking, and in turn rubbing against his member trapped within its denim prison.

“That's it, good fuckin’ girl.” His voice is strained, as if he's trying hard not to lose control.

“Eddie, oh fuck, f-feels so- good, yes, please, please-”

You're not sure what you're begging for, and Eddie doesn't seem to be in any state to ask, but it doesn't matter. His fingers fuck into you in earnest, stroking hard against some spot inside that has you babbling and quivering around him.

“God, you're so tight, this little cunts gonna drive me crazy. So wet and perfect, Jesus Christ.”

The feeling seems too much and not enough, and it grows higher and higher, flooding your body with a pleasure so intense you're sure you black out. The only thing you're aware of is your voice screaming out his name as your body thrusts wildly into his grip. Finally, it dissipates, your body melting against his form, sweating and spent.

You take a breath, and another, trying to gather your wits enough to speak. Eddie speaks first.

“So sweetheart, everything you dreamed it would be?” He asks as he strokes your hair.

“Better. Fuck, Eddie. Thank you.”

“Anytime. Seriously. Any. Time. Day, night, weekends, holidays-”

You giggle, slapping his thigh, and sit up, grabbing your discarded shirt to cover up.

“Sorry, that was probably a little er, frustrating for you.” You say as you glance at his bare torso, drinking in the sight with your eyes for the first time. He's lean, but ripped, a faint sheen of sweating making his tattoos glisten in the low light.

“What do you mean sweetheart?”

“Well, doing that, not getting anything in return...”

He chuckles lightly, “Oh I wouldn't say that,” he glances down, gesturing to his jeans, “full disclosure, I came in my pants.”

“Really?” your eyes widen, staring at him with disbelief.

“I ain't lying. Wanna check?” He waggles his eyebrows at you, making you laugh again.

“You seem better already. Right, I better go.”

Shoulders deflating, you pout, “I suppose you better.”

“Hey don't look at me like that. I hoped that helped. Sleep tight, drink some water. I'll see you tomorrow princess.”

And just like that, he leaves. Of course he leaves, it was just a deal you struck, nothing more. A favour. you wipe stray tears from your eyes and try not to focus on the sound of the front door shutting.

As you collapse on the bed, exhausted, you think about his hands, his words. There's something screaming inside, telling you you're playing with fire, but as you drift off you can't find it in you to mind.

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