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the-fangirl-from-hell · 1 year

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The Real Reason Xavier Can’t Sleep

here is part 1

pairing: Xavier Thorpe x reader, really angsty Tyler Galpin x reader if you like that

summary: in which Xavier has visions about you and can’t get you out of his head, this sparks arguments with your boyfriend.

warning: Tyler and reader are in a toxic relationship, nsfw content, swearing- lots of it, insomnia

tags: more pining, all the tags from part 1, slight smut

word count: 4.5K

au where Rowan never died and is still with the Nightshades cause the character has potential and the writers wasted it

you can asks in the notes if you wanna be tagged in part 3, it’s coming soon

Xavier could feel (Y/N)’s hands running through his hair, scratching at his scalp as a cold shiver run through his body. He could feel her hot skin pressed flush against his.

As she was lying on her back in the bed, eyes half closed and arms crossed around her chest to hide it Xavier wanted to tell her how beautiful she was. How there was no reason to be embarrassed because he loved every part of her body. How much he wanted to worship every inch of her for the rest of the night. But he stayed silent. Like something heavy in his chest was preventing him from talking.

His hands instinctively found hers, gently pinning them against the bed sheets, exposing her chest to him. He wasn’t really in control of himself, feeling almost like a remote control puppet.

Xavier held his breath as he pushed himself inside of her, whimpering at the familiar sensation of her hot walls clenching around him. Like they’re done this a thousand times.

“Tyler, take it slow for me baby,” the girl winced.

Not again.

The clock read 01:30. Xavier woke up in his room, shirtless and covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

“Fucking hell,” he murmured under his breath, careful not to wake up his roommate.

Between the vision he had of a mysterious creature and this weird psychic link he had with Tyler Galpin of all people, he couldn’t remember the last full night of sleep he had in the past few months.

He knew they weren’t dreams. He was sure because of that one time he was out with his friends in the town, they were mostly window shopping then suddenly he was in the Weathervane, making out with (Y/N) at the back of the shop. Shaky hands grabbing at each other’s clothes, desperately trying to peel them off, needy mouths crashing against each other. Then the girl’s mouth started going lower and lower along his jaw to his neck. She gave him a gentle bite, probing him then she sunk her teeth in that one spot that made his knees weak. He started grinding against her desperate for some form of release, mind foggy with lust. Then he was back on the street with his friends surrounding him and looking extremely worried.

Xavier has had visions like this one in the past usually at night, waking him up from his slumber. He tried to write them off as some sort of weird wet dream of this girl he had a crush on.

But this time it was different. He was awake, it was the middle of the day. And as they were walking through the center of the town, he saw the girl who has been plaguing his mind leaving the café looking disheveled and flushed. And then he saw her boyfriend lean in to give her a kiss goodbye, the hickey she just left on him still visible. Xavier ran a hand over the base of his neck where he could still feel the ghost of her teeth like it happened to him. But it was Tyler. He was Tyler for a few moments; he saw the world through his eyes.

There was no going back to sleep no matter how hard Xavier tried tossing and turning. The bed was too hard, the sheets were too scratchy, and the cover was too warm.

He sneaked outside through a window and went to the shed he’s been working on restoring. Weems said if he did a good job she’d let him use it as an art studio. Since he’s having trouble sleeping he’s been going there more and more often. He even got a small mattress in the corner, covered in a sage green sheet. He liked that color a lot.

Xavier’s biggest problem was that his connection to Tyler seemed to activate whenever he was having strong emotions like when he was having sex with his girlfriend in the middle of the night. But not only that. He also saw them going on dates and having late-night chats about their lives and dreams. Xavier hated himself but he ended up falling in love with this woman he barely knew.

Without really having a plan in mind he grabbed a clean canvas and started painting her. The curvature of her neck, the valley of her breasts, the plumpness of her lips.

“I’m just doing this to get it out of my system,” he excused himself to no one in particular.

He felt dirty drawing the naked figure of someone who never undressed in front of him, who never gave him permission to, who probably barely remembers him.

Ever since that day when she drove him back to school and he snapped at her, they haven’t spoken much. They acknowledge each other on the street when they pass by one another, they exchange polite smiles and waves from a distance, sometimes a courteous ‘hi’ and ‘how are you’ followed by ‘nothing much, you?’ and a shrug. The conversations never last as much as Xavier wishes they did. He even tried apologizing for the way he acted the last time they talked but she just brushed it off as if it was nothing.

Xavier lost count of the hours he spent perfecting the painting he made, but it was light outside by the time Bianca opened the door and let herself in.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Are we still going to the Fair?”

“Morning, sleeping beauty!” Bianca cheered sarcastically. “You’ve been drooling on my shoulder.”

Xavier assessed the situation. He was in the car with the Nightshades. Rowan was driving. Bianca was right next to him in the backseat, mushed between him and Ajax.

“Sorry, I haven’t been sleeping well recently,” he excused himself and then lowered his voice so that only Bianca could hear it. “You know, you could help me with that.”

“For the last fucking time, Xavier, I’m not using my siren song on you. Ask again and I’ll never speak to you.”

“Please, I’m going insane, you have to help me!”

“You guys don’t have to whisper,” Rowan chimed from behind the wheel. “We know about Xavier’s obsession with the normie girl.”

“Not as obsessed as you are with Wednesday!”

The car shook violently as Rowan parked it with a little too much force next to the forest that lead to Nevermore. A howl was heard in the distance as the group walked out of the car still arguing. They had to speak louder to cover the music and everyone else at the Fair talking.

“My mom had a vision about her, you know that. I have to figure out what it meant.”

“Well, I have visions, too. And I need them to stop.”

He even told his therapist about this girl (sparing her some of the raunchier details) and started taking medication that’s supposed to suppress his visions. They haven’t been very effective. At this point he was so desperate he was willing to ask his dad for help.

“Was it her you were painting the other morning?” Bianca asked after the rest of the group was far enough for them not to hear.

Xavier was really hoping Bianca didn’t see his drawing when she came by his shed. It was too embarrassing to explain himself and anything he’d say tasted like a lie on his lips.

It’s just a painting, it doesn’t mean anything.

I draw naked people all the time.

I just wanted to get it out of my system.

Bullshit.

“You really need to talk this out with her. Maybe she knows something about why you’re having these visions.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin-“

“You’ll think of something.”

Bianca gave a wide smile and a dramatic wave to someone to their right and Xavier turned in that direction. (Y/N) was leaning on her arm next to an archery booth looking around as if she was waiting for someone. When her eyes landed on the two of them she gave them a salute.

“It’s not polite to let her wait for you. You’ve got this.”

Bianca gave her friend a little shove in the right direction and he stumbled. The girl of his dreams (visions?) wasn’t far away and he was headed right in her direction whether he wanted to or not. Xavier tried to fight the stupid smile that was spreading across his face as he was approaching her. He lost.

“Haven’t seen you in a long time,” the girl observed.

“Yeah, I haven’t gone out in the town lately.”

The girl furrowed her brows with concern as she leaned in, giving Xavier a closer inspection. It made him inhale a sharp breath. She smelled like cotton candy and the earth after it rained. He closed his eyes for just a second, enjoying her smell and her presence. When he opened them again, the girl was still studying him so carefully, the same way you may study a puzzle you're trying to solve.

“Did you sleep well last night?”

Did she know? Could she tell that she was the reason he hasn’t slept a wink last night? Or barely at all for the past month? Could she read his mind?

He was becoming paranoid.

“I look that bad, huh?”

A shy smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Not at all. Just tired. I could make you a tea for insomnia, it does wonders.”

There she goes again. No one in Xavier’s life treats him like this. Like he deserves to be fawned over, protected, taken care of. He was always the strong one in his family, the emotional pillar for his parents, the one his mom would go to for advice or when she needed a shoulder to cry on. All of his girlfriends and even his friends say he’s a good listener, that it’s easy to open up to him but very rarely do they ask about his feelings. And no one tries to make it better the way (Y/N) does.

It’s like she’s the only one who sees how broken he is and knows how to fix him.

“I’ve been taking some meds, they haven’t kicked in yet. But thanks anyway, it’s nice that you offered.”

“It can’t hurt to try. Come by the Weathervane on Monday? I work there now. I’ll make you a tea free of charge,” she points her last words on his shoulder.

Xavier grabs at his shoulder and makes a grimace as if it hurt, but really it didn’t. He just likes the way the girl looks at him when she worries about him.

“Wouldn’t that get you in trouble?”

“I like trouble,” she winks. “Usually my dashing smile and smooth talking get me out of pretty much anything. I got the boss wrapped around my finger.”

He could see that. She was hard to stay mad at. Hard to say no to. If there was someone who could get away with murder simply by being charming it would be her.

“I didn’t mean with your boss.”

Xavier regretted his words almost instantly. The change on the girl's face was almost imperceptible. He might have missed it if he wasn’t paying close attention to her. The amused spark in her eyes, the one he was so enamored with, died. It made him shiver.

He shouldn't have brought it up.

“Tyler doesn’t have to know. Plus, he has nothing to hold against you. He’s the one in the wrong. By the way, I’m still sorry for what happened that day. I can’t help but feel guilty, like if I hadn’t talked to you none of it would’ve happened.”

Xavier couldn’t imagine a world where he didn’t know (Y/N). He didn’t even want to think of a different universe where he was so engrossed in his work he didn’t notice the girl with stars in her eyes preparing her concert, didn’t hear her playing. A world where they both pass right by each other like ships in the night, neither ever truly seeing the other. What a nightmare.

Sure, slowly falling in love with her through another man’s eyes hurt. But never knowing her would be worse.

But he couldn’t say that, could he?

“You couldn’t have known. And if anything, I should be apologizing, I came to you first... to move the piano.”

And he’d do it again, a thousand times.

“Right,” the girl smiled wistfully as if reliving a happy memory. “Thanks again for that.”

“By the way, are you still playing on this year’s Outreach day?”

She shook her head in disappointment.

“No, this Nevermore girl– Wednesday, she’s playing a cello solo this year. She’s new and struggling to fit in, at least it’s what the mayor told me.”

“It’s a shame. I was looking forward to listening to you again. You really have a gift.”

The girl looked down bashfully and Xavier felt a rush of pride. It was usually her who made him blush. He almost wanted to gently grab her chin and make her look up at him. He’s gotten even taller than he was when they met. He wondered if she noticed that.

He leaned back into the archery booth that was behind him, trying to look casual. He realized he’s been beating around the bush and completely forgot why he was there talking to her in the first place. How was he going to break this to her lightly?

“You know how I said I was a seer, right?”

The girl nodded diligently.

“Yes, like your father.”

Xavier tried not to make a face at the mention of his father. They weren’t exactly on the best of terms. He gulped, doing his best to pick the next words that came out of his mouth.

“Tyler,” the girl chimed suddenly.

Xavier’s blood ran cold at the sight of Tyler coming towards them holding a water bottle that he handed to his girlfriend. He then gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Do you mind?” he asked Xavier tauntingly. “We’re on a date.” He then turned around to his girlfriend. “Do you want me to win something for you babe?”

Xavier crossed his arms trying to look unbothered although the sight in front of him hurt more than a hundred needles poking his heart at once. It was different seeing them together like this than when he had the visions. In those Tyler wasn’t really visible, since he was seeing everything through his eyes. In those visions, he could pretend he was the one (Y/N) was kissing.

Tyler went to pay the guy behind the counter at the archery booth some money and the guy handed him a plastic bow and arrow and explained to him how to win. Xavier couldn’t help but snicker watching Tyler fail miserably at the game. There was something vindictive about the sight.

“Shut up! What are you doing here anyway?” he asked annoyed. “Don’t you have some kinda restraining order against me?”

He shot his target and missed again. His hands were gripping the object so tightly his knuckles turned white.

I could easily win a toy for her, Xavier thought.

Actually, he just might.

“As long as you can be civil for one night, I’m not gonna go to the police.”

Xavier tried to remain calm and composed in order to not betray how much his heart was beating in his chest. He wasn’t even sure if the cause was the beautiful girl standing close to him or the stress of facing his attacker for the first time in almost a year. He wasn’t afraid of Tyler, per se, but he made him uneasy. Like the feeling you get when you watch a horror movie and foreboding music starts playing.

Without breaking eye contact with Tyler Xavier threw some money on the counter and reached his hand out towards him waiting to be handed the bow. Tyler pushed it in his hands a little more forceful than needed.

“I’m not gonna hide from you forever, dude. Until I finish school, we have to share this town. Get used to it.”

Xavier moved his attention to the target and shot his first arrow. He needed to hit the bull three times to get the big frog plushy the girl seemed to be eyeing that night. He could do it.

“It’s not the town I have a problem sharing,” Tyler muttered.

Xavier told himself to relax before releasing the arrow and hitting his target perfectly. Bull’s eye. Two more.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You just love playing stupid, huh Thorpe? I’m not blind, I know what you’re after,” he leaned towards Xavier so close he could see his freckles. “At least you healed surprisingly well, I was sure my shoe was gonna leave a scar on your forehead. I was going to make you the next Harry Potter.”

“Maybe you’re not as strong as you think you are,” Xavier commented, his eyes still on the target.

“Cut it out, both of you!”

Xavier could hear the anger and fear in (Y/N)'s voice and he hated himself for being partially the cause of that. What made him feel even more guilty was how his body reacted to hearing her enraged and commanding voice. It reminded him of a dream - or a vision? he wasn't sure - he had not so long ago. In which she was yelling at him for something he'd done that upset her and somehow in the middle of the argument her hands took a hold of his hair and pulled his face close to hers. She started kissing him feverishly.

He visibly gulped as he tried to suppress the memory. He almost lost focus, but he still managed to hit the target. Not dead center, but close enough to still get the prize. One more.

It seemed Tyler noticed the effect his girlfriend had on the tall boy he hated so much. He tried to bite down a smirk.

“You’re right babe, I’m sorry,” he said turning towards his girlfriend, burying his head in the crook of her neck. “Did I tell you how sexy you look in that dress? Are you wearing it all for me?”

He didn’t need to say it as loud as he did, but Xavier knew it was intentional, to make him lose concentration. And it worked. For a fraction of a second, his eyes slid from his target to (Y/N) and the pretty black dress covering her body, then to Tyler’s hand gripping her hips so tight like he was afraid she was gonna fall. Or run away. Xavier took the last shot with shaky hands and failed.

“Too bad,” Tyler coed mockingly reaching out his hand. “You shot your shot and you missed. It’s mine now.”

Xavier had a feeling he wasn’t talking about the game.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. The two boys were staring at each other, neither wanting to back down. Xavier realized just how stupid he was for being there just to poke Tyler further. He didn’t know what he expected to happen. That the girl of his dreams was just going to fall in his arms, begging him to save her from evil Tyler? Yeah, sure.

Maybe he wanted revenge on Tyler for what he did to him. To show him up and humiliate him. Maybe he just wanted to spend a little more time with her. To see her up close a little more. Hear her voice a little more. Stare into her eyes. He didn’t realize how much he missed her presence till he got it back. That asshole was so lucky that he got to have her all to himself and he didn’t even appreciate it. He should be worshiping the ground she walks on. Like he would.

“Stop ogling her,” Tyler pushed him against the archery stand. “She wouldn’t fuck a freak like you.”

Xavier stood up straight, reminding Tyler that he was much taller than him. A scared look surfaced on his face for just a second before it was replaced with an angry scowl. It gave Xavier a rush of confidence.

“Careful now,” he egged him on. “You don’t have your buddies with you anymore to help.”

“That’s enough. I don’t want any of you hurt again."

(Y/N) put her hands on both of the guys’ chests and pushed them apart forcefully. The same warm almost electric feeling passed through Xavier’s body as it did every time she touched him.

“Don’t cream your pants, Thorpe. She barely grazed you.”

“What is your problem, teddy?” the girl questioned her boyfriend.

Xavier knew that nickname. Teddy. Teddy bear. It’s what she usually called him in the sweet moments when they got along. When they were cuddling on the couch, watching a movie, having morning coffee together. In his delusion, Xavier almost convinced himself that she was calling him that.

“No, don’t teddy bear me! He is the problem! Why do you insist on taking his side? Do you have a thing for outcasts all of a sudden? You think his dick glows in the dark or some shit?”

“You’re being paranoid, just because I don’t want you going to jail doesn’t mean I wanna fuck the guy!”

The guy. This girl was everything to Xavier and he was just some guy to her. Some guy ruining her relationship with her boyfriend of many years.

“I’m not going to jail. Ever since last year, you’ve been acting like I’m some kind of ticking bomb always on the verge of exploding. Even right now you look at me like I’m a monster. Hell, do you even love me anymore?”

Tyler started walking away from both of them. “I’m done. Your new boyfriend can drive you home tonight.”

With his hands in his pockets, Tyler marched toward his car while his girlfriend (ex?) watched him leave with tears in her eyes. She seemed frozen for a few moments but right before Xavier could tell her anything, or apologize, she took off into the forest without a single word.

Xavier looked for a second at his friends who were watching the whole thing unfold from a safe distance. He found Bianca’s eyes and she gave him a subtle nod.

He took off towards where the girl was headed. She couldn’t let her wander off into the forest alone. Especially not at night. There was a monster in those woods and if something were to happen to her Xavier would never forgive himself.

“(Y/N), wait,” he gasped for air. “You’re really fast.”

The girl didn’t really stop but slowed down the pace for him to catch up with her.

“Only when I’m sad,” she sobbed. “I like to walk in the woods to clear my head. I’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

“I’m sorry I’ve riled up your boyfriend. I should’ve known he’d react this way.”

“It’s not your fault, Xavier, he’s been like this for a while now. Getting angry, breaking up with me before inevitably coming back to beg for forgiveness promising he’ll never do it again. He tells me he can’t live without me only to repeat the cycle at the slightest inconvenience.”

A familiar feeling was forming in Xavier’s stomach. Helplessness. This is what he felt like every time he saw them fight through the psychic link, which was often. Tyler would get jealous over something and throw a fit. (Y/N) would bring up a complaint she had and all hell broke loose. Lately, they’ve been fighting a lot about the new girl at Nevermore, Wednesday. It seemed like Tyler was harboring a crush on her, but every time the girl brought it up Tyler would get angry and defensive.

There were so many times when Xavier wanted to crawl out of Tyler’s mind and comfort the girl in front of him. Now was his chance. This girl was crying in front of him and he wasn’t trapped behind Tyler’s eyes anymore.

His trembling hands found their way to the small of her back, arms wrapping around the girl’s shoulders protectively like he could shield her from her own feelings. Or the people who caused them. He wanted to tell her she was safe in his arms.

She responded to the hug by pulling him closer, flushed against her body, and letting out a sob. It seemed she was starving for comfort as if no one has given her that in a long time.

“You don’t deserve this,” the words left Xavier’s mouth on their own.

She was too kind to ever suffer like that for anyone. He remembered how she treated his wounds and made sure he got home safe without even knowing him. Someone like her deserved only happiness and love.

Tyler however, deserved to have his ass handed to him a couple times. Xavier would do it gladly but he wouldn’t be able to stand how (Y/N) would look at him after that.

“He made his choice,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re just trying to protect him but he won’t listen.”

He couldn’t remember a time when any of his girlfriends were that protective of him. One of them actually was encouraging him to get into fights. But she never took care of him afterward, especially not after he lost. The closest he ever came to someone like that was Bianca who clearly had a crush on him and was very watchful of him but he never felt the same way about her. She couldn’t hold a candle to the girl crying on Xavier’s shoulder right now.

“I know what you want to say. I should just end it cause this relationship is going nowhere but… It’s not that simple. I’ve known him all my life, I don’t even have an idea as to what a life without Tyler would look like. And I just can’t say no to him when he’s crying. You don’t know how heartbroken he looks when he comes back.”

She let out another heart-wrenching sob. Xavier’s arms instinctively tightened around her, as if they could forcefully glue back the pieces of her broken heart. If only he were strong enough to do that.

He felt the girl shivering in his arms. He let her go for a second to take off his jacket and place it across her shoulders. Her dress was pretty but it didn’t do much to keep her warm. And his uniform jacket looked good on her.

“Looks to me like he doesn’t have a problem making you cry. You deserve better.”

The boy’s thumb wiped away a tear from her cheek. Gingerly, as if he was afraid she’d dissipate like a mirage the second he would touch her. Because a girl like her couldn’t be real. And if she was he could never have her.

“Thank you,” her words came out merely a whisper.

Her gaze traveled north to meet his eyes and Xavier forgot how to breathe. He could feel his own pulse in his thumb which was still resting on the girl’s face. How did she manage to become more beautiful every time his eyes laid on her? He’s never wanted to kiss anyone more in his life. He knew it was wrong but doing the wrong thing has never felt so enticing.

He was holding on to his morals by a hair strand and he knew that if she made the first step; if she leaned in and closed her eyes he wouldn’t make the smallest effort to stop her. He wasn’t strong enough. If she wanted to kiss him he would let her. So they could be wrong together.

@helluvafire you said you wanted part two.

sorry it took so long for this to arrive. i’ve been writing on it for two weeks cause i didn’t like it, i had to rewrite a lot. then i realized it was closing in on 6k words and i still wasn’t done so i decided i’ll just chop this part in two. that’s why it ends kinda abruptly.

so i’m already 1.5k words into part 3. hopefully it’s not gonna take me another two weeks to finish.

also this whole thing was written exclusively between 12pm and 4 am. i can’t seem to be able to write at normal hours.

#wednesay #wednesday addams #wednesday fanfic #wednesday netflix #xavier thorpe #xavier thrope x reader #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe x y/n #tyler galpin x reader #xavier x reader #reader insert #x reader

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