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#we need to get the fuck out of here like yesterday
tiredfox64 · 9 hours
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Hide and peek part 2? Pretty please?? 🥺 (btw I really love your writing style it's so unique)
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Tag, You’re Mine
Prior notes: Sorry for not posting yesterday. I died because of the heat, got to talk with the Lord finally, and then he sent me back down because it wasn’t my time yet.
Pairing: Bi-Han x Afab reader
Warnings ‼️: Some days I am forced to eat food with no seasoning. That’s not a warning it’s just sad.
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Oh what’s wrong? Nothing to look at today? Not at all? Is it because Bi-Han caught you? I see. Well, my dear, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You are one of many who would do whatever to get a peek at that gorgeous, icey man. Don’t give up on the game now. He’s willing to play.
You were embarrassed that you were caught sneaking peeks at Bi-Han before. Things would have been fine if he hadn’t found you and forced you to speak. You were content with keeping your fantasies about him in your head and not make them a reality. It would have been easier than going up to him and talking. He didn’t seem like a man who did much talking.
Just because you were caught didn’t mean you would stay away from the Fire Temple forever. You still wanted to see Liu Kang. But instead of hiding and seeking, you were running away from the one you used to seek. See you pulled a sneaky on him.
Now it was Bi-Han who was looking for you. At first he thought you would still be looking at him from a distance. He would look around, acting like he doesn’t care and pretending he isn’t looking for you, only to see that you were nowhere in sight. Not a strand of your hair or the rustling of leaves to indicate you were anywhere near. That was disappointing to him. His not so secret admirer was not admiring him.
“Looking for your admirer, brother?” Kuai Liang teased his older brother. When else would he get a chance like this.
Bi-Han groaned before at his brother’s teasing, “I am not. What is taking Liu Kang so long? How long are we expected to linger?”
He tried changing the topic away from the fact that he was looking for you. He paced around while occasionally looking in the direction of your usual hiding spots. Still nothing. He was getting impatient with you. This is unlike you. He wants his shy girl back!
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You were still around. You were just doing other things. Like right now you were organizing books inside the temple. You actually found some that you would like to read some day. But first to organize them.
Put some in that corner. Maybe some on the lower shelf. Oh this one is supposed to go on the top shelf. Just reach up and—OH MY FUCKING GOSH HE’S BACK!
Yes, when you looked up to try to put the last book on the top shelf you realized Bi-Han snuck up behind you again. He was looking down at you with that usual grumpy expression he had. And just like the last time he snuck up behind you, you let out a yelp which alerted everyone that once again he found you.
“Stop yelling!” He growled as his hands covered his ears.
“I’m sorry…” You whispered as you started to covered your face with the book.
Yup, that’s you all right. Shy as can be, unable to face Bi-Han still. Your cheeks were burning as you were unsure of what to do now. You tried to shuffle your way out but he caged you in. Your back was pressed up against the bookcase. His arms were at your side. You really have no escape unless you wanna try smacking him. I wouldn’t recommend it.
“Put that book down and look at me.” He commanded.
You slid the book down a little to show your eyes. No, no, he wants to see your whole face.
Bi-Han yanked the book out of your hands and placed it on the top shelf. There, now he can see you. He watched as your eyes shifted around. You wanted to look some place else but Bi-Han would always be at the corner of your eye. And looking forward won’t help either. Staring at people’s chests is rude.
“So…you need anything?” You asked because you legit didn’t know why he was here or what he wanted.
“Where have you been? You are clearly still around yet you purposely try to avoid me.”
He always sounds upset but this time he seemed really upset. He didn’t hate that you had a crush on him. It was cute and the shyness was a somewhat bonus. It’s not a bonus when he has a hard time trying to make you talk.
“You wanted me to come looking for you? That’s strange.” Clearly you were confused.
“Ironic that those words are coming from the woman who was constantly looking at me from a distance.” Oh he called you out.
So what now? He found you. How will this play out? Well, you really didn’t think this far ahead. I’m not even sure Bi-Han did either. You were too embarrassed to ever encounter him again. Knowing he knew you were looking at him the whole time makes you smack your forehead constantly. It was so humiliating! But you did like that you got to see his features up close. Those cheek bones oooo.
Hey! Hey! Focus on the game plan!
“Why do you even want me to come looking for you?”
You stumped him with that question. He didn’t think you would be brave enough to do that. He had no answer ready because he doesn’t know the answer to that.
The truth is he did find you and your actions to be cute. Might also be the fact that he doesn’t come across many ladies in his life nor will he give them the time of day. So in a strange way you are a little brave for pursuing him in your own way.
“I don’t need to explain myself to you. Just come with me.”
Bi-Han grabbed your wrist and started dragging you with him. Your mind goes blank as you’re unsure of what he wants you to do. He takes you into the other part of the temple where his brothers and Liu Kang are. They were waiting for him to come around so they could discuss the next mission. Liu Kang looked with great curiosity at the actions that were taking place. Bi-Han left you at the doorway and walked over to his brothers. He stared at you, waiting for you to do what you do best. Hide.
Due to habits and your nervousness you started hiding yourself near the doorway, peeking your head in so you could keep looking at Bi-Han. It was like rolling a blunt you never forget how to do it.
Now he was satisfied. He started looking at Liu Kang now, waiting impatiently for the god to talk. The god was too stunned to speak. A few blinks and now he started briefing them on the mission. Tomas leaned over to Kuai Liang to whisper something.
“That poor girl, Bi-Han won’t ever let her go now.”
“Pay attention!” Bi-Han yelled before punching Tomas at the back of the head.
You’re reminded of why you hid from him in the first place. It was his temper and cold demeanor that scared you off but not enough to be at a distance. Yet as you watched him punch his adopted brother you still can’t help but be drawn to that sexy man.
That’s exactly what he wants. He wants your admiration while also having the chance to get close to you. He likes having you as his admirer. He’ll keep you around for a while. Maybe even bring you back to the Lin Kuei Temple so you can do the same over there while he trains his clan. That will surely get you excited.
Do you think you can handle the cold?
After notes: Wish me luck since I have my asl final tonight. And if somehow y’all hated this don’t curse me tonight 。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。. Also how come i didn’t know there was a Goth/Rave color palette that is perfect for me. Alright I must mentally prepare myself. Adiós!
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honeygrahambitch · 10 hours
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One for sorrow, two for joy
Plot: Will and Hannibal are having a difficult but very needed conversation the day before the birth of their surrogate child.
"Hello." Will said as he sat next to Hannibal on the porch of their house. The sun was casting its final rays before completely hiding before the mountains. "Just so you know, we are not the worst parents on earth because we don't have a name for our kid. I've read many stories where parents just knew exactly when they saw their baby for the first time. And that will be our case as well."
Hannibal had been out there sitting on his own for most of the day, which was exactly why Will had decided to join him with two glasses of white wine. Hannibal accepted his in silence. He didn't say anything to Will's encouraging words.
Will looked properly at his face only when he heard a sniff followed by a deep sigh, filled with sorrow.
He freaked out for a split second, seeing the tears run down his cheeks, knowing it was a rare sight.
"Do you know when we will be the worst parents?" Will asked, guiding Hannibal's head to rest on his shoulder. "When we won't like her first boyfriend. Or her second. Or third. Fuck it, none of them will be good enough. Or when we will say "no" when she will want to go to a promiscuous party. But I promise that when we meet her tomorrow, we will just know exactly what to call her."
Hannibal let out another sniff and Will could actually feel his tears on his shirt. "I thought I knew what name would be perfect for her." He said eventually.
"And I told you I'm down with calling her Mischa if that's what you feel." He replied softly as he let his own head rest on Hannibal's.
"After doing some self-reflection, I realized I don't want that for her. She shouldn't carry my regrets." He said, his gaze following a magpie trying to build a nest in the pine tree which was shading their house. "Every time I would look at her, I would think of my sister." Hannibal said as he let out a soft sob. "I want her to be her own person, not to grow up in the shade of someone else who already carries so much weight."
"What else is on your mind?" Will asked empathetically after a few seconds.
"During the last years I knew that if we had a daughter I would definitely name her Mischa. I figured I would do that only to give myself the delusion of having her next to me again." Hannibal said. "Or maybe I need some sort of closure that I won't get. Truth is, I need to let her go. It's been too long."
"You know, you don't have to let her go. She is not here but she is still your sister. And she will always be. You don't need a physical reminder to get your closure. And we will make sure our daughter knows about her."
Hannibal let out another sob as he buried his face in Will's shoulder.
"There are days when I feel haunted by my own regrets." Hannibal whispered. Will knew. He had learnt to read his every expression and gesture in time.
"I also feel haunted oftentimes. But then you say something stupid like "Will, have you missplaced the corkskrew again?" And all my ghosts are gone."
Hannibal laughed bitterly for the first time that evening.
"I'm sorry, your own nerves must be wrecked as well because of tomorrow." Hannibal said as he lifted his head off Will's shoulder and wiped his tears.
"Pretty wrecked. But seeing my husband weeping tears on the porch is a rare sight. Poetic in fact."
"I'm envious of you." Hannibal said, finally taking a sip from his glass. "You're managing your emotions better than I do."
"Am I? I woke up at 5 and took apart the washing machine piece by piece because yesterday it made a subtle but weird sound. By noon it was in one piece again. Then I reorganized my lures. Then I reorganized all your spices."
"Pardon?" Hannibal asked as he suddenly turned his head towards Will.
"I was surprised you haven't noticed me spending an unusual amount of time in the kitchen, sitting on the counter and labeling spices. Some of them I had no idea what they were so I drew a question mark instead."
"I..." Hannibal started but didn't know what to say, amused by Will's coping methods. "You didn't touch my suits, did you?"
"No, I am not a psychopath. I did want to organize your ties based on warm and color tones. But I decided I wanted to be alive by tomorrow."
Will clinked his glass against Hannibal's and this time, he was the one to rest his head on his shoulder.
"And we are supposed to raise a child." Hannibal said as a conclusion. "Sorry I avoided you the whole day. I was completely unaware you took the whole house apart. You must have had a lot on your mind."
"It's not like you were doing better. But this" Will said gesturing to where they were sitting"-is a lot better than labeling your spices."
"I agree."
The sun was completely gone, a purple shade coloring the horizon. The lonely magpie was soon joined by a second one, who was carrying some straws as well, probably helping with the nest.
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sunwarmed-ash · 1 day
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Heyoooo Happy Monday!
Did yall read last nights Sinful Sunday update? its here if you didn't get a chance yet!
I also got tagged by @lizzy0305 for WIP Wednesday Monday!
WIP MONDAY
Detroit Become Human, Hurt/Comfort, Sad Gavin Reed, HankCon established, previous Hankvin, eventual Hankconvin
My love language is misery: (Ch 3 preview)
It's silent in the car since Connor and Hank left the station to go check on Gavin.  According to Detective Chen, the younger Detective had left work shortly after their ‘interaction’ outside the breakroom. Mentioning something about needing a change of clothes before walking out. Hank and Connor were quick to follow him out the doors and Connor’s earlier worry only compounded the longer they traveled.  “To answer your question from earlier, about me and Gavin having a relationship. sorta.”  “Sorta how?” Connor asks, needing to know everything to sort out a best course of action to help Gavin.  Hank exhales through his nose and keeps his eyes forward out the windshield.  “Before everything went to shit, and before me and Annie got together again. When we were both young and single, and fuckin’ everythin’ that moved… We hooked up, few times. But I thought- He never mentioned…” Hank huffs a little, struggling to find the right words, “I didn't think it was more than that… Always thought we were just playin’ but, what he said yesterday… haven't been able to get it out of my head since.” Connor analyzes Hank's increase in blood pressure and stress and places his hand on Hank’s knee in comfort.  “What did he say?”  Hank takes one hand off the steering wheel to squeeze it before returning his hand to its previous position on the wheel.  “That I only want him when I can’t have him. Specifically, when I’m already with someone else. I don't know, I guess, now that I look back and think about it, I can see why he said it. I’ve never been very good at maintaining personal ‘relationships.’” “I don't know, I'd say this relationship is going quite well,” Connor smiles. It eases enough of the tension hanging in the car and Hank chuckles.  “Yeah, I think that’s sorta the problem.” “He perceives me as a threat,” Connor interprets. “Big time.” “I see.” “We’ve always had a, complicated, relationship, Gav and I. But he's got some of his own additional demons on board. I think that might be what’s fucking him up now. Especially since uh, we aren't doing to much to hide our relationship at work.” “Yes, perhaps we have been playing a little ‘fast and loose’ with that line,” Connor agrees.  “Mmm,” Hank agrees. A few moments of silence pass in the car and then Connor has to ask,  “What happened to him?” Hank’s next exhale is obviously conflicted.  “Can’t tell ya that, I’m afraid. Sorry Con. It's his business, nothing personal. I just wouldn't feel right.” “I understand,” Connor says, because he does. No unintended subtext. PTSD is something Connor is intimately familiar with now, and he wants to come across as non threatening as possible tonight. “Are there any general things I should be aware of? I don't want to unintentionally set off an attack.”  “Just, follow my lead. And let him come to you. When he’s dissociating, he can’t always see what's going on in front of him.” More pieces slid into place for Connor with that confession.  “Like this morning, in the breakroom.” “Yeah, exactly.” It’s quiet another moment and then Connor says,  “He’s lucky to have someone like you Hank,” because he means it. Gavin doesn’t have a lot of friends at the DPD thanks to his almost 24/7 sour mood. And after today, he could probably use one.  Hank scoffs a little disbelievingly at Connor’s praise but meets him in the middle with,   “Yeah well, hopefully we can at least convince him to accept our help.”
@sweeteatercat @treeffles @disdaidal @tradedsymmetry @covenscribe @advictoriams @negative-citadel @writerwhowritesao3 and anyone else who wants to!! Have a great day everyone, I'm gonna try and get some sun today!
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raeathnos · 1 year
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#oh boy do I love walking in the door and getting yelled at 🙃#we need to get the fuck out of here like yesterday#guess I’m staying up in my room for the rest of the night#and then they wonder why I’m fucking depressed#this is all because I said I’d come to our relatives house for Easter dinner#but I told them I was just gonna come for like 2 hours#and apparently that’s rude and I need to stay longer?#I’m sorry I have work the next day and you guys don’t leave until like 9pm half the time#and they’re going over at 1pm#I thought two hours was a good compromise but apparently not 🙃#the thing that gets me is like instead of just telling me this#I got it screamed at me and told how incredibly rude I am#I didn’t realize stopping at a relative who wanted to see me and making a dish to bring us rude but okay#cool cool cool cool#anyways I’m like super upset because my mom and I have never gotten along and we’ve actually been doing good lately#which has been nice cause I haven’t been getting along with my dad the past few months#and like me and him have always gotten along so it’s kind of hard#he revealed he regretted having me too now and like#both parents have told me that now and it’s fucking hard especially given how I’ve been treated and continue to be treated#so like the fact that me and mom were getting along was… idk it was just#it was nice for once#so idk it makes this hurt a lot more#I’ve been made to feel like I’m a fucking burden my whole life#I was a good kid- I didn’t act out and I did what I was told and got straight As and wasn’t a picky eater#yeah I had a lot of health issues but that was out of my control#and they still treated me like I was such a burden#it’s hard it’s so fucking hard#I just want to feel loved and like I was wanted I don’t know what I ever did wrong#I’m just never going to be enough am I?#my whole life has felt like it’s been me trying to gain their approval and it just feels like they’re stringing me along most of the time
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beeduoo · 1 day
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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins
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Lowkey i ate with rhis actually no i didn't i ate wirh rhat ENDER EYE Why is it so rendered Hello
IGNORW RHEIR UGLY UGLY DESIGNS This was before they switched to their iconic Skins past e didn't know......
#loosely based off of this old thing it's under the Cut#origins smp#beeduo#beeduo fanart#idk what other tags to put i cant put C because this isn't C this is O..... but like do people even check those tags idk#actually no im scared i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals i dont want to interfere with their character ecosystem i was#only there for the first one😅#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY#DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM#IR EAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE thats all i remmeber ANF ALSO RNE can i call you senpaaiiii bit thay shit h#ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its#been wayyyyyyy too long#BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise#bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop#yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really#wanted to share ok i love you bge#WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED#RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like#water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT#ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I#VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB#OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be#Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON#SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub#lic had to say.... ok Now bye
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disneydatass · 6 months
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They literally cut off the power so the world wouldn’t see the genocide they are about to commit…fully backed by the US government meanwhile said government also does nothing to the people who continue to get killed by the regular mass shootings
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zevrans · 6 months
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billygoat26 · 2 months
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Just waiting to see if my mom breaks another promise :D
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lovelaceisntdead · 6 months
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Oh. having a bad time.
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brookheimer · 1 year
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#again this is all my fault i had a week to do this i just can’t seem to do any work unless the deadline is within like . 24 hours#otherwise i can’t get myself to focus or care#thanks brain.#the film one will be easy though i can bullshit it bc my profs give out B+ as the highest grade apparently so i should stop writing A papers#for them and just get the same grade for less work . unfortunately i love writing papers (even though i hate it) and can never actually#like phone in a paper like even when i try to i end ip getting into it by the end#i’m so bad at just being like yeah let’s write a B paper. i canyyyyttttyt ! which is so annoying bc i’ll get a B in this class anyways bc#it’s 300 ppl and they don’t read the papers they just give everyone a B+ so WHY DO I BOTHER#praying that for the first time in my life i write a mid paper on purpose and it takes an hour or so#then i can focus the next 12 hours on the paper i both want and need to do well on#well maybe not NEED like i’d prob get an A in the class if i got a B+ or even a B maybe on the final#but it’s my last class ever (transferring😬) with my favorite professor in the world . i have never gotten below an A- from him on a paper#and that was only in my first class w him like i’ve gotten all As since so i NEEEEED to go out w a bang. seriously. i like him too much not#to!!! it’s also a topic i’m rly interested in except also i still don’t actually know my thesis. i just have 20 pages of brainstorming and#research. don’t know what i’m doing w it yet tho#agggggghh#so mad at myself — went to bed at 7 FUCKING PM by accident bc i hadn’t slept in 40 hours and forgot to set an alarm for like 6 to try and#make up for all the work i didn’t do yesterday so now here we r. aaaagggggggh#sorry for the personal vent in the tags but this is my blog i can vent if i want to (to the tune of that one song)#i’m actually insane why am i subjecting myself to this. and even worse why am i (ADHD#depression insane) transferring to one of the like 20 schools in america that’s more academically demanding than the one i’m at rn. why am#i making things worse for myself.#except blah blah blah not really i’m fine academically and honestly except for finals (which is always just a procrastination issue w me)#cld provably use smth a little more demanding at times like i need classes hard enough to actually convince my brain that i need to do yhe#readings lolll like i genuinely always Want to do them bc they’re things i am honestly super interested in i just a) am so bad at focusing#and b) am Disturbingly good at bullshitting like i typically am one of the most talkative ppl in classes despite doing 1/2 or less of the#readings.. and like not even to get a participation grade. just bc i can skim it and immediately have things to say ab it#that’s why i won a like national award in high school for a paper on a book i didn’t actually read😬 except i had WANTED! to read it!#that’s the issue like. if u know u can bullshit something how do u get ur adhd brain to get the message that u actually want to read it#raAaagh ok personal rambling over o know it’s prob annoying bc like i Do do well in school n i am grateful i just wish i was healthier ab it
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cuntwrap--supreme · 9 months
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Important life lesson I've learned recently: Never fall in love with an anarchist.
#leon bitches#I'm dying#yesterday i slept for three hours before the horror of what's happening kicked in and insomnia kept me from sleep#fucking went and ran like four miles just to drive the thoughts of him out of my brain#didn't work#but before that i had a complete mental breakdown like i haven't in so so long#like. unable to get off the floor. unable to stop hysterical crying. unable to stop shaking.#it was pretty bad#and it's no wonder i didn't sleep. how could i when the only thing I've hoped for for years - my only goal - is distancing himself from me?#and i know I'm making generalizations but anarchists all have shit going on in their heads dude#like. my take on anarchy (as an anarchist) is that everyone should be kind even when we don't beed to be#and we need to do shit to save the planet even if it's kinda extreme#radical kindness kinda route. but without some government entity forcing it. it's just how we should be.#but his type is very overthrow the government kill the politicians force the world to get better#and i agree with bits of that. mostly because it would be faster than waiting for people to wake up and choose kindness.#but he is legitimately about doing shit that can accelerate that change#one of the earliest conversations i had with him he was saying he voted for trump in the hopes he'd collapse the country#that way we can bring on the Mad Max Times which he said are step one for rebuilding a better world#and i think that might be when i fell in love with him#because here's this self-stated conservative hillbilly yet he's as much of a punk as i am#because - as much as i want change to happen without too much death - I've always said the mad max times will have to happen#and he used the exact term I've always used: Mad Max Times#and then we stood around and talked about the best ways to kill politicians and change the world#and he laughed at me for thinking humanity isn't too far gone to be nice#said even in the Star Trek universe there had to be violence before utopia#but i said expecting people to have any shred of decency left is the only way i can cope with the world#and he said that's kinda punk of me. and i maybe got kinda lightheaded thinking how perfect he was.#but he's also literally insane. incredibly unhinged man.#purposefully puts himself into conflict with others in the hopes of getting to kick the shit out of some arrogant dickhead#and i think that's just how anarchic people are. we're all a little fucked in the head. no shade.
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dreamertrilogys · 1 year
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i’m so fucking tired (physically but also emotionally/mentally) like i don’t even feel like a person rn
#i still have to finish my diary entry for yesterday + i have to do one for today bc once again my life has been insane and like. AUGH#i don’t have the energy to do that right now tho so tmrw night it is i suppose. anyway ummm. i still genuinely truly deeply have no idea#what the fuck i’m supposed to do about the dani (possibly my girlfriend???) situation like i cannot deal with this#like if she just wanted to casual date or whatever i might be fine with it but no she like ACTUALLY likes me and it’s fucking terrifying#and like. oh my god. ok so there’s this new app or whatever idk i hate it but point is you get lame ass questions like who’s the hottest#person or whatever and you have to pick out of the 4 randomized ppl from ur school it gives you#<- like when you download it you pick ur school and then it suggests you people only from ur school yknow. anyway she showed me some of the#ones ppl picked her for (it doesn’t tell you who picked you for what it just says their grade and gender) and anyway what i’m trying to get#at here is that in english class (while we were sitting super close together thighs touching and all) she showed me and one of the ones#someone picked her for was most likely to marry their high school sweetheart and she kinda looked at me and was like hopefully!#and uhhhh. obviously nobody’s talking about fucking MARRIAGE rn and she’s dated plenty of people in high school but STILL#and like. as i’ve said before i genuinely can’t see myself with her in the future and going into a relationship knowing it’ll end just feel#so fucking mean and like a waste of everyone’s time. except i don’t even know if i feel that way anymore or i’m just telling myself that bc#i’m scared of commitment or whatever#fuck!!!!#and of course there’s still my friend (diff person not dani) who i’m genuinely in love with like it’s actually so fucking bad#like i need to **** *** ** ******* *** *** *** **** *****#.txt#fake ex gf#crushposting#this is just a word for word repeat of my last 3 posts on this topic but anyway. the thing is if you asked me to choose between them (crush#and girl who likes me who i also kind of like) i’d pick my friend/crush like it wouldn’t even be that hard of a choice. but there is no#friend vs dani there’s only dani asking me out and like. ughhhhh#i can’t deal with this!!!!!!!!!!#gf
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rosesradio · 1 year
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day 2 of what i call the redneck convention aka a family function
#it just so happens there's two events that call for a cookout--we never hang out two days in a row--usually i get a break of a few months--#so idk if i can handle it#not to mention my sister has work & my fave cousin brings her bf all the time & is busy talking with him#so it's just gonna be me & all these other family members i don't like ://#& okay let me say a thing#yesterday i was having a conversation with my sister--clearly a private conversation#& my weird aunt just literally barged in between us like 'what what are you guys up to huh what what'#& i just like nervously laughed & was like 'yeah we're just talking'#& then she just starts standing right next to me--like glued at the hip and literally says 'what if i just wanna stand right here--#next to you and just follow you around?'#& i just kinda nervously laughed & tried to shuffle away but she literally started following me around like that#& i know it's ridiculous but i could feel my fight or flight kick in because she was in my personal space & not listening to me#but all i did was kinda laugh again & say 'no thanks i gotta go wash my hands so i can eat--the food's almost ready'#& i had to say that like twice & then she actually got pissed & huffed before storming off#& then later in front of everyone she told my mom something like 'you need to correct your daughter's behavior she's very rude'#as if my mom could do anything#(like don't get me wrong my mom could say 'behave a certain way or we'll kick you out because you're an adult' but she's not gonna do that)#& my mom & dad were both just like '???' when i explained it because i didn't do anything rude--#like genuinely how The Fuck am i supposed to respond with some aunt getting into my space & refusing to leave even when i'm uncomfortable#my parents told me not to worry about it because she's just weird all the time (which i know) but because she's got nothing else going on--#in her life she'll probably still try to make drama out of that little interaction today#idk i might just gaslight her by pretending i don't remember what happened. gatekeep girlboss etc#& don't get me wrong i have complete sympathy for people who aren't good with social cues--i'm one of the most awkward people at these--#functions. but personal space is where i draw the line because you can't just get into someone's space & insist on being there even when--#they're clearly uncomfortable#sigh anyways these tags are so long. wish me luck ://#rose.txt
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frogcoded · 2 years
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Why are men like this
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fellwhite · 2 years
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It's happening
Im self sabotaging again, as I've done all my life
This is a vent, you have been warned
#all happiness i had from the date has completely died out#I don't know what happened nor what to feel#up to yesterday she was messaging me for simple things with a couple pet names and just being lovely#yet today when we finally see each other again? colder than the fucking stone she's never been this cruel before#im totally willing to be with her in the good and the bad...but it's hard to do when anything you do gets completely rejected or ignored#i knew that this was a possibility of course but with how perfect everything was i don't understand i truly don't#im confused and on the verge of crying but I've been holding it back the whole day...the better the thing the worse the consecuence i guess#thank fucking god im no longer suicidal (i mean depression is always there but i can fight it now) because this would've surely left a scar#I just don't understand anything... why is this even happening where did i go wrong and how can i even fix it#thing is: although I'll definitely end up blaming myself i do know it's also something on her end#atleast in these moments of sanity i don't feel that guilty yet but I'll be dying in these following times#...guess this does confirm that it's not a simple crush but actual love right? because I've never felt this hurt before#like i don't give up and I don't plan to because with her i have experienced some of the happiest moments of my entire life#i know it's worth it... but i don't know how much more i can keep taking before crumbling apart#ah. this is why refused to let myself fall for someone again until a long time but that attempt was poorly executed#again though. what I've lived with her will stay on my mind and... if it comes to the worst I'll atleast treasure the memories i could keep#anyways ill end this here. i needed some venting because everything is aching right now but this does help even if just a little#vent
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inkskinned · 4 months
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
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