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vaguely-concerned · 3 years

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X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol)

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol)

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you?

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???)

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic

- ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!!

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha)

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

- remy rogue

🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence

baby u r my

ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it)

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents)

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do

birds of a feather motherfucker

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet)

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha)

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go”

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most.

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage)

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s p r e t t y solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D:

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!!

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all)

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol)

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

#x men evolution #x men #gambit #rogue x gambit #aaah this is like therapy for me... just dumping all my emotions into a tumblr post and then let them go into the ether #I am now wondering if I'm desperate enough to go all the way back to the x-men animated series (which I've never seen before!)#like am I willing to go there for more Contente. time will tell I suppose #happy tag #...this is very long #MAN why can't I channel this dumbass energy into fiction writing I'd get so much DONE

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the-fiction-witch · 3 years

Text

Don’t You Blame Me For This

REAL LIFE COUPLE TBS X READER RATING ADORABLE

I sat at the table in the kitchen looking out the window to the garden the few fallen blossoms from the trees around, a few birds at the bird feeders hung up around the garden. I returned my focus to the table getting the bottle of milk giving it a sniff, still good pouring it into my bowel then taking my cereal having a look at the back of the box "free book. When you send in voucher's. Hu. I miss when cereal had toys" I sighed doing myself a bowl full of the supposed space ship shapes giving it a stir with my spoon returning my focus to the garden as I ate

"Thomas, we need to talk" y/n said as she leaned on the kitchen doorframe already dressed for the day

"Ooh no, bad we need to talk or..."

"Medium"

"Okay, may I eat my cereal while we talk"

"Yes" she sighed coming and sitting across from me "I want the toy"

"There isn't a toy, only a free book"

"Give me the book then"

"Not in the box you have to send away for it"

"Awww"

"I know I too was disappointed, so what's up?"

"Ellie"

"Yes?"

"We need to talk about her"

"Why?" I asked "has she been writing on the walls again?"

"No"

".... Has she found mummy and daddies secret draw again?"

"No,"

"Has she murdered anyone? Or anything?"

"Well... Kinda"

"What's kinda?"

"She's executing her teddy bears again"

"Oh. I really think that's something we should be concerned about"

"Apparently it's perfectly normal"

"I think that school shrink is a dick"

"It's your fault"

"How is it my fault?"

"Come in" she says so I sighed and followed her upstairs to Ellie's room she stood passing down a line of her teddy bears and dolls, a toy light saber in her hand, the impieral march playing on her little music player

"you betray my craft secrets to the rebels you will pay Mr fluffy!" She giggled trying to force choke him and poking the bears chest till it fell over "let that be a lesson to anyone else thinking of crossing me"

"See, your fault" y/n says

"Okay.... I'll allow I, may have had some infulence. But, it's kinda adorable" I laughed

"Please stop making our children nerds"

"To be fair. There our children... There kinds genetically preset to be nerds"

"Speak for your damn self, Mr let's hand my lightsaber above our bed"

"You let me put it there, Mrs hanging my replica anduril above our bed crossing over with my lightsaber"

"Stop nerding up our children" she says walking off

"Petty officer!" Ellie yelled as she noticed me so I smiled and moved to be kneeled in line with her bears

"Yes my sith princess" I nodded

"How goes the front?"

"Not well my princess, the rebel forces have destroyed the last of the waffles and even under torcher there commander will not give up the location of the fruit winders"

"Very well. Continue working on the case"

"I shall." I nodded

"And can I tie fighter ride?" She giggled

"Of course you can my sith princess" I smiled picking her up and letting her play sat on my hip as I carried her around the house

"Hu! An rebel commander attack!" She giggled as we found y/n in the kitchen making breakfast

"Pew. pew.pew.pew." I laughed pretending to shoot at her "hi honey"

"Come on ellie, you and daddy can play tie fighter after breakfast" she said taking her from me and sitting her up the table so I went back to my cereal and did ellie some too

"Ahh! The sith lady herself!" A little voice laughed

"Rebel leader" ellie said jumping from her chair running to the door where her brother like stood with his own toy lightsaber "we meet again"

"We seem to be meeting... Daily, to where have you hidden my fudges!"

"You will know when you return my pony!"

"Never!" He yelled the two starting a small and yet rather epic lightsaber battle in the door way I watched continuing with my cereal and y/n came sitting beside me with her toast glaring at me

"What! They have a whole plot, with us, side characters and an whole evil backstory, it's more interesting then the news"I told her

"My brother... Why did you forsake me!" She complained as he poked he'd so she fell like he'd been shot

"I didn't want this to happen my sister. But you choose the dark side." He told her

"I still blame you" y/n sighed

"Don't you blame me for this you let them watch it"

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wei-gege-oldaccount · 4 years

Note

lwj and wwx only have 2 settings when looking at each other, they are either stupidly in love or stupidly horny. have you seen this post? kenny2234*tumblr*com/post/629515661032521728

Hi Anon!

Firstly, yes I have seen your post, and secondly you never asked for this and I am sorry for that.

I could write about their eye contact alone until the end of time, or at least until I succumb to the laws of entropy. I could just idly agree with you, yes, aha it’s love or lust and move on. But. I can’t. I can’t. I mean, this is a story where so much is told by the things that are not said. And there is a lot that can’t be said, either because it’s a character trait or because of censorship issues. I will try and keep this concise, and to do that I’m just focusing on mutual eye contact, and from LWJ’s perspective. Thinking to the BTS where Wang Yibo talks about how LWJ mostly only expresses himself through the eyes.

TL;DR: I disagree, there’s really more to it than that.

LWJ actively avoids eye contact with WWX until around episodes 6-7. He’s a Lan. He can NOT condone or make friends with this unruly, loud, arrogant, charismatic, irritatingly beautiful man. He has bad ideas about the uses of resentful energy. No matter how intelligent, observant and artistic he is. No matter now much of a prodigy and a skilled fighter he is. No matter how hot he is. No matter what his brother says.

He likes him but he doesn’t like that he likes him.

So LWJ actively avoids direct eye contact with WWX unless it’s a glare filled with the fire of a thousand suns. You know, as a warning.

This is until episode 6/7. By this point, they have fought water ghouls at Biling Lake. Drunkenly shared personal mom info. Used the Lan forehead ribbon inappropriately in the Cold Pond Cave, and had Physical Contact when escaping. WWX has called LWJ his Zhiji already. It’s only when WWX keeps his promise not to talk about the Yin Iron and scares NHS away when he tries to extract gossip that LWJ decides to reappraise him. Only then do we get some eye contact which isn’t laced with contempt or uneasiness (which of course JC is there to witness).

They go off and do the lantern ceremony. LWJ does a smile at WWX’s bunny art. That devastating look he gives WWX as he makes his vow. You can almost lipread LWJ’s brain thinking “marry me now”. LXC was right about him. Despite this, he tries to deal with the yin iron by himself because WWX is The Agent of Chaos after all. But, WWX is not going to let him bear this responsibility alone, because of course he wouldn’t.

Enter Battle Couple WangXian. They fight the fairy statue, multiple puppets, and the dire owl. Xue Yang happens. They meet famous duo SL & XXC and LWJ & JC totally fanboy over them, and it’s only then, some real Zhiji vibes hit LWJ, albeit with a bit of a sombre mood after WWX’s chat with XXC. My next fave moment of eye contact, I can literally feel LWJ’s stomach butterflies here after they watch SL and XXC leave together:

Whoa, is that us now? I mean, do I dare to even hope that that’s us?

LWJ decides to leave WWX in Qinghe under cover of darkness and asap. He has to get the yin iron back to Cloud Recesses with a low profile. So we don’t see them together again until the Wen Indoctrination Camp. They do a bunch of worrying and looking out for each other, and then we get the cave scene which has been giffed 4 million times already by others who have done a better job, but I haven’t so I slowed it right the fuck down. Forgive the bad colouring I’m trying not to take too much time over this. You’re right about this one anon.

Then lots of bad. I skipped these gifs because picture limit. In summary, LWJ is hurt and angry, lots of angy stares and sword pointing. How could WWX hurt himself by using these methods?! But then WWX promises he will never use demonic cultivation, and agrees to receiving help. LWJ can chill a bit. Night Hunt on Phoenix Mountain. I left this one out as it’s pretty self explanatory. “I used to think of you as my Zhiji”. “I still am”. Ugh but WWX knows he can’t unless he fully informs LWJ of his situation. It’s bittersweet. THE RAIN SCENE. This is not heart eyes or horniness anon it is pure PAIN.

Let’s skip to some good stuff. Yiling dinner date! LWJ can handle strict Lan sect punishments, hoards of puppets and fierce corpses but this situation? Not so much. He is so confused by this strange clingy child and the rabbling crowd and here comes his reason for being here in the first place knight in shining amour! (Ur right here anon, pure heart eyes).

Do I put a Nightless City gif here? Do I put the cliff scene here? It’s the most LWJ’s facial muscles move in the entire show and yet I can’t bring myself to gif it. It’s pure agony. Definitely not any longing romantic looks or horniness here.

So moving swiftly on, jumping to ep 2 for the epically long eye contact moment aka when WangXian are reunited. LWJ. does. not. take. his. eyes. off. WWX. until. he. hears. Zidian. crackle. OMG.

Anyway, after the Yin City arc and watching SL walking away with what remains of XXC’s spiritual cognition, LWJ is not holding back now. The amount of eye f***ing after this moment is frankly obscene. I’ll just leave some gifs of that.

I kind of ran out of steam but you get my point. I guess you can boil the other moments down to the fact they love each other? But I don’t know why anyone would want to simplify things like that. I know I’ve missed a bunch of stuff but this is long enough as it is! My opinion about this will probably change too as I’m still fairly new to the fandom. You just accidentally unlocked an Easter Egg with your comment, as it’s what I’m currently nerding out over haha. I’ll shut up now.

#忘羡 #魏无羡 #蓝忘机 #the untamed #chen qing ling #omg i lost this post in my 2500+ drafts when i saved it #i thought it had been lost in the tumblr abyss #as soon as i hit post i know i'll immediately change my mind about something #so sorry anon #*throws self in bin*#anon #ask #o #陈情令

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teacupfulofstarshine · 4 years

Text

when you look at me with those eyes (i’m speechless)

summary: virgil finally manages to ask out the pretty enby in his class, just in time for his father's epic gala event. sadly, neither of them would know fashion if it bit them in the ass. luckily, they both have friends to help them out.

(OR: almost 3k words of analogical being useless fluffy gays)

wordcount: 2934

ships: romantic analogical, background romantic roceit, background queerplatonic intruality, background romantic remile

cw: cursing

read it on ao3!!

“So, uh, wh - what do you say?”

Logan looks up from their desk, homework long forgotten. Their left hand is stretched out to cover the little doodle they’d been doing of the back of Virgil’s head, and now Virgil himself is standing in front of them, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly and looking anywhere except at Logan. He’s still wearing that patchwork purple plaid hoodie, and for some reason the only thing Logan can think of is that it’s definitely a violation of their school uniform.

Virgil’s eyes skitter back to their face, skipping from their shoulder to their chest to their neck to their cheek. Their eyes meet for a moment, Virgil’s illuminated by the afternoon sunshine pouring in, and Logan forgets how to breathe. Virgil’s pink face gets even pinker, and his eyes settle on a point fixed above Logan’s shoulder.

“Are you just gonna stare at me?” he snaps. “If you’re gonna reject me, just -”

“No!” Logan blurts. Virgil’s shoulders jump up to his ears, and Logan stands so fast their chair falls over behind them. “I - I mean - I’m not rejecting you, I - um - yes! Yes, I - I’d love to! That is to say - I - uh -”

Virgil laughs a little, reaching out and tucking a stray curl of Logan’s hair behind their ear. They hadn’t even noticed that wisps had started escaping their high ponytail, but Virgil just smiles at them. “Cool,” he says.

“Yes,” Logan breathes. “It - it is, objectively, quite ‘cool’.”

“The event’s on Saturday night.” Virgil’s fingers tuck their hair behind their ear, gently tracing down the curve of their neck and sliding up to touch their jaw. “Pick you up around six PM or so?”

Logan swallows, and they’re sure Virgil can hear it but he gives no indication if he did. “That - that sounds optimal.” They cringe inwardly - optimal? What the hell? - but Virgil just laughs and slides his hand up to cup their cheek.

“You keep busting out all those smart-person words and I’m gonna have to kiss you before I buy you dinner, and that’s not very nice of me.” His hand drops from Logan’s face, and it takes all their willpower not to scream for him to put it back. He gently picks up their hand, lifting it to his bitten-raw lips and gently pressing a kiss to the back. “That’ll have to hold you over until then.”

He turns and saunters away, and Logan grips the edge of their desk. They almost sit down on the chair they’d knocked over, catching themselves at the last second. Looking around the empty classroom, they catch sight of themselves reflected in the windows. They’d opted for a mixture of the uniforms today, wearing the boys’ shirt, vest, and tie over the girls’ skirt, knee-high stockings, and shoes. Their hair is tightly tied back with a plain hair tie, no ribbon, only one curl out of place where Virgil had tucked it behind their ear.

They don’t typically dress themselves for much other than school (uniform), work (uniform), or home (casual clothing). They have no idea what they should wear for a date. Their phone buzzes on the desk, and they snatch it up quickly, flipping it open to see a message from Virgil.

(They’d forgotten he had their number, from that project they did together last month.)

You have: One! New message!

FROM: Virgil

hey, forgot to tell u - this gala is like, a bfd for my dads’ company, so dress up! like its prom or smthn, or a wedding

Logan exhales, gathering up their school things and shoving them into their bag with an uncharacteristic haphazardness. This is going to require . . . outside intervention.

(Meanwhile, a few doors down, Virgil slams the door to his own classroom, shoves his face into his hands, and lets out the quietest feral screech he can manage. Derek, seated on the teacher’s desk with Roman pulled up between his legs, raises a single eyebrow.

“Is that a screech of success or a screech of failure, Virgil?”)

*~*~*~*~*

“What does one wear on a ‘fancy date’? I have never been to a wedding or a prom, let alone a gala! I do not own anything fancy!” Logan paces around their bedroom, hair hanging loose around their shoulders. Patton is on his back, hanging upside-down off of their bed and flipping through some sort of guitar catalog. Remus is curled up in Logan’s desk chair with some sort of slime in his hand. “Remus, if you get slime on my belongings I will end you.”

Remus grins, looking deranged, and Logan resists the childish urge to throw something at him.

“Don’t sweat it, Lo-Lo!” Patton says. “I’ve got a ton of pretty clothes in my room, you can borrow something from me! We’re still the same size, right?”

“I assume so,” Logan says, “but what if I do not look right in your clothing? Our styles are vastly different, I would not wish to present a false impression of myself to him, I -”

“You worry too much!” Remus says. “Virge asked you out even though you’re a workaholic disaster who wouldn’t know the meaning of ‘relax’ if it bit him in the -”

“Remus!” Patton scolds, throwing one of Logan’s decorative constellation pillows at him. Remus bats it away with his foot.

“Please do not throw things around,” Logan says tiredly. “Particularly my things.”

“Sorry, Lo!” Remus does not apologize, but he does put the slime he’s been playing with back into its little plastic container.

“Well, actually,” Patton says, flipping over onto his tummy, “it just so happens that I’ve been waiting for exactly this moment.” Logan looks at their twin in confusion. “I knew that eventually, there was gonna come a day where you would look at somebody and want to go on a date with them, whether it be a simple movie or a fancy date like this one, and you were gonna call me in here - didn’t know Remus would be here too, but he’s not unwelcome -”

“Thank you?”

“- and you’d pace around and panic and go, ‘Patton! I don’t have anything optimal for this date, and our personal styles are so vastly different! What ever is there to be done?’” Patton flings one hand dramatically across his forehead like a Victorian woman fainting onto a couch. Logan raises one eyebrow.

“So! I came up with the perfect solution! I’ve been secretly acquiring outfits for you! Stuff that you could wear for a variety of situations that you wouldn’t ever think of! We can mix and match to find something you like! Oh, and I also have a ton of unopened hypoallergenic makeup in a box in my closet!”

Logan stares at him, blinking and trying to process everything Patton’s just told them. “You . .. you really did all that, for . . . for me?”

“Yeah, of course I did! You’re my twin, Lo. I love you.” Patton smiles, bright and open and honest, and Logan blinks again, and suddenly their cheeks are wet.

“Are you fucking crying because Patton is a considerate brother?!” Remus cackles. Logan whirls around, hiding their face and wiping at it frantically. “Oh my god, you are, I fucking called it, Roman owes me twenty bucks!”

“You bet on this?” Patton asks, disapproving. Logan laughs a little, turning around to hug their twin. They can’t quite bring themselves to care about Remus’s gambling right now.

*~*~*~*~*

“Why are you bitching?” Roman asks, pulling Derek’s hand up to his face. He’d forgotten his saline solution at his own house, so he’s wearing his old red glasses, bangs pulled up in a shitty unicorn-horn ponytail as he squints at Derek’s nails. Derek holds a book up with his free hand. “You managed to get them to go out with you, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but I was awkward as fuck about it, Roman!” Virgil complains. He considers throwing something at Roman, or shoving a pillow over his face and screaming (again), but the deep indigo-purple polish on their fingernails is still drying. “I touched their hair, they probably think I’m a fucking creep!”

“As someone with that exact reputation,” Derek says, “I highly doubt they would have agreed to accompany you on a date if they shared your sentiments about yourself.”

“Yeah, but -”

“Lighten up a little, man,” Roman says, carefully stroking the yellow brush over Derek’s index nail. “You’re totally fucking with the vibe of the chill session.”

“What do you want me to do?! I told them to dress fancy cause we’re going somewhere nice, like I have any idea how to dress other than ‘crawled out of a dumpster and sewed together some punk band’s leftovers’!”

“Why did you think you invited me?” Roman says haughtily. He’s imitating some YouTube video they’d watched earlier. “I’m the king of style!”

“You’re the king of something,” Virgil mutters.

“No, seriously, I’m gonna help you!” Roman says. “I’m sure you have something that looks half-decent buried in your closet, and I am nothing if not an expert in bringing things out of the closet.” Derek’s cheeks blush faintly pink, but he doesn’t say anything. “And Der here is amazing with makeup -”

“I wouldn’t say experience with stage makeup and covering my port wine stain makes me amazing or anything,” Derek begins.

“Well I would, so shut the fuck up,” Roman says smoothly. Derek rolls his eyes and huffs fondly. “Seriously, Vee, did you really think we were gonna egg you on to ask the pretty nerd out for this long and then leave you high and dry when the time came to deliver the goods?”

Virgil exhales, bringing his hands up to his face to examine his nails. “I think they’re dry . . .”

“Nice! Get over here, once I’m done with Derek’s base color I’m putting sparkles on you.”

“What? Why?”

“Because it’s my house and I get to choose the bonding activity, god damn it.”

*~*~*~*~*

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Logan says, pulling their hair up into their traditional high ponytail. “What else am I supposed to do with it? I hate leaving it down, it feels bad on my neck -”

“I know,” Patton says, “but you can’t just put it in the same old ponytail you always do! This is a fancy gala event, you have to be fancy! ”

“What else am I supposed to do with my hair?”

“You will not do anything. I will do your hair,” Patton says firmly. “And by I, I mean Remus, because I’m not good at hair.”

“Remus is not putting his hands, which have been god only knows where, in my clean hair.”

“Rude!” Remus says. “I washed them three times today! You can inspect them if you want, I promise they’re clean!” Logan squints at his hands critically before sighing and settling into the chair in front of Patton’s vanity.

“Very well.”

Remus brushes through their hair and then combs it, carefully working through the knots while doing his best to preserve their natural curl. He separates two small wings and pins them out of the way before pulling the rest of Logan’s long curls into a mid-height ponytail and braiding it with surprisingly delicate fingers. He carefully twists the long braid up into a bun at the nape of Logan’s neck and pins it there with a gleaming silver hairpin tipped with a shining eight-point star with a dark blue jewel set in its center.

Carefully, Remus unpins the locks of hair he’d set aside and braids them as well, weaving them into a crown of braids on Logan’s head and cleverly hiding the ends by pinning them into the braided bun. Finally, he pins back a few stray wispy curls with silver bobby pins that have star-shaped cubic zirconium on the ends. “Take a look!”

Logan has had their eyes closed the entire time, quietly stimming with their hands. They open them slowly, looking in the mirror and tilting their head back and forth to see all of the work Remus has done. “Oh,” they say softly. “I love it, Remus. I look beautiful.”

“You always look beautiful,” Remus says. “I’d ruffle your hair if I hadn’t spent so much time making it look decent.” Logan leans back, gently pressing their cheek against his shoulder. Remus huffs and mutters something about “gross affectionate shit,” but he still lets them do it.

Patton breaks out the makeup after that, spinning the stool around so that Logan can’t see their own face in the mirror. “Alright, Lo! Time to accentuate your pretty face!”

“That was a surprisingly accurate use of the word accentuate.”

Patton just shrugs and grins at them. “I know big words!”

*~*~*~*~*

“You look fine,” Roman says, pulling a strip of fabric around Virgil’s throat and beginning to knot it into a bowtie. Virgil can’t stop himself from looking over himself in the mirror one more time - dark black dress pants, a silver dress shirt, a deep purple vest that matches the polish on his nails, black and purple eyeshadow accompanied by dark red lipstick and sharp cheekbone contour courtesy of Derek. Roman pulls the purple-and-silver striped fabric of his bowtie into the final bow, and he smiles.

“Don’t worry, Virge. I know you’re worried, but you look fine.”

“You don’t look like a vampire at all,” Derek adds. Virgil hisses at him. “That is certainly going to help that image.”

“Seriously,” Roman says, “don’t worry about my stupid boyfriend. Logan agreed to go out with you, and I’m sure they’re going to find you absolutely stunning.”

Virgil rubs the back of his neck, blushing, because he knows that if he touches the hair Derek and Roman had combed and gelled and styled and wrestled with for the past thirty minutes they will collectively murder him without a second thought. Derek smiles, reaching over to pat his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Vee. Seriously. I know I mock you a lot, but you really do look good. It’s gonna be okay.”

Virgil still feels nervous when he steps out of his car in front of the address Logan had given him. The lights are bright and cheerful, and when he knocks on the front door with his free hand, the door swings open eagerly. “Hello!” the man says cheerily. He’s wearing a pink tie and a brown cardigan, and he looks like Virgil expects Patton to in a few decades. “You must be Virgil!”

“Uh, um, y-yes sir!” Virgil yelps.

“Oh, you look precious! Remy, dearest, Logan’s date is here!”

“Cool, babes,” a voice floats in from the kitchen. “I’ll take over the soup.”

“Come on in! You can call me Emile, Lo is upstairs with Patton and Remus getting ready! Just wait here in the foyer, I’ll go up there and get them!” Emile hurries off up the stairs, and Virgil fidgets nervously with the flowers in his hand.

Patton all but slides down the bannister, grinning. “Are those for Lo?”

“Y - yeah?”

“I’ll go get a vase out of the kitchen so they can put them in water before you two go!” Virgil pulls a single star-shaped lily bloom from the bouquet and spins it between his thumb and middle fingers. Emile comes hurrying down the stairs with a camera, sets himself up at the foot of the stairs, and shouts for Remus.

“Finally,” Logan huffs, and then a door creaks open and shuffled footsteps approach the top of the stairs and then Virgil promptly forgets how to breathe.

They look gorgeous.

They have a crown of braids leading to a braided bun, studded with jewels that gleam like stars and a larger star pinning the bun back. They’re wearing the most beautiful dress Virgil has ever seen; the top is black, high-necked, and form-fitting, with short sleeves that are see-through ruffles of black gauzy material. The sleeves and the bodice are covered in sparkling silver rhinestones that look like stars in the night sky. There’s a silver band wrapped around their waist, and the skirt is made of layers of loose folds of fabric. The front comes down to their knees and the back comes down to their mid-calves, and the pattern is a soft blue-pink-purple galaxy color scheme. They have simple dark blue ballet flats on their feet, and as they get closer, what little breath Virgil had in his lungs is gone.

Someone with experience has clearly done Logan’s makeup. Their eyes are coated in shimmery dark-blue-and-silver eyeshadow, eyes lined with soft smudged pencil and popping out of their face, freckles somehow still visible under the makeup. Their lips are glossy and pink and look so deliciously kissable that Virgil can barely restrain himself.

“You look wonderful,” the vision in front of him says.

“You - I - um - good!” Virgil stammers. Logan blushes, and Virgil thrusts the bouquet at them. “These - for you!”

“Oh!” Logan takes the bouquet and smiles, and Virgil nearly passes out. “They’re beautiful! I -”

“I have a vase for you!” Patton chirps, hurrying in to take the bouquet and plop it into a vase. “I’ll leave it in your room!” Logan smiles, and Virgil reaches up to carefully tuck the lily behind their ear, into the carefully woven braids.

“You look beautiful,” he says honestly. “You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life.” Logan flushes, smiling.

“It makes sense that you would think that, since you cannot see yourself.”

(Years later, at their wedding, Patton will tearfully and proudly recall how Logan and Virgil had been fifteen minutes late to the gala because Logan’s compliment had caused Virgil to faint from sheer gay joy.)

#starshinewrites #romantic analogical #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #background romantic roceit #background romantic remile #background queerplatonic intruality #ts logan #ts virgil #ts remus #ts deceit #ts patton #ts roman

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hecallsmehischild · 3 years

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Recent Media Consumed

Books

War Nerd by Gary Brecher. I have a lot of conflicting feelings about this book. First off, I had to try three times to read it, because the first two times I read it, I was in an emotionally unstable period, and this is NOT a book to read in emotionally unstable periods. On the third try, I blew right through it. Second thing is about the way it’s written. On the one hand, I wish all history texts were written with HALF the color and vigor and humor of this writer, because I would have retained way more information. On the other hand, it was incredibly difficult for me to come to terms with this style of angry, bitter humor combined with a worldview I can’t really understand. Which, I suppose, leads into some of my major take-aways from this book: human nature is not basically good (I already believed that, but this is a pretty good secular argument for it), human nature seems to crave war and peace is the exception, and there literally are people in the world who I will never understand no matter how hard I try because they want things that are antithetical to absolutely everything I deem important. I don’t mean minor things or even the things we all know come into conflict, like religion. I’m talking about things like peace. If you look at what peoples’ actions tell you over their words, it seems like some people (individuals AND nation groups) genuinely thrive on death and war, and that that was in fact the state of things for far longer than attempts at peace. It’s a difficult book on all fronts (except readability, it’s quite readable and certainly more enjoyable than most history texts as I’ve said), but it makes you think. I also can’t speak for how accurate this book is, but it is written by someone who clearly has a hyperfixation, so...

Inside The Robe by Katherine Mader. Judge Mader, a criminal court judge in LA County, kept a court diary throughout 2016. This book is the result of that diary, and is her attempt at giving an “insider’s view” on being a criminal court judge. She is a colorful writer with very clear descriptions and a distinctive voice. This book was a pleasure to read and gave me a better understanding of the incentives and constraints on judges through her daily vignettes.

Economic Facts and Fallacies by Thomas Sowell. I read this in the wake of my second reading of Basic Economics and thought this would be a good follow-up read. There’s a lot of overlap here, but this book delves more in-depth into some concepts that Sowell had to give less attention to in Basic Economics for the sake of providing a broader overview. As usual, there are some concepts that get a little too abstract for me to hang onto very well, but the majority of his work is very understandable and makes sense to me. I am grateful for the clarity with which he writes.

A Man of Letters by Thomas Sowell. This is actually a good accompaniment to his memoir, A Personal Odyssey. He collects several letters he wrote (and a few select ones addressed to him) to sketch his reactions to various events in his life. He has quite the dry wit. It was a treat to get a further glimpse into his life.

Books I had to drop and why

Battles of the Bible by Chaim Herzog and Mordechai Gichon. Sometimes I have to admit I made a mistake and not keep trying to force myself to spend time on a book I’m not enjoying. I thought perhaps this book would help me understand some context of the Biblical stories more, but really what this is is comprehensive step-by-step war strategy (complete with diagrams and TERRAIN MAPS) of each battle in the Old Testament. And… that’s not what I’m looking for.

The Road to Serfdom by Friedrich Hayek. I’m kind of sad about this one. Thomas Sowell has referenced Hayek reverently and I was told The Road to Serfdom would be a good read for me. Unfortunately what I’m coming to understand is that it’s very difficult for me to grasp ideas when talked about ONLY in the abstract. This is why Sowell is usually a much better read for me, because he tends toward giving concrete examples, so after about 3 chapters of barely getting what Hayek wanted to convey, I switched over to…

Marxism by Thomas Sowell. And I was also crestfallen here. From the fragments I gather, Marx (who Sowell studied extensively and followed wholeheartedly in his college days) broke things down almost exclusively to their most abstract concepts before building back toward concrete ideas and tended to look down on any economist who only examined things as they appeared. Prior to this I had some vague notion that maybe I could eventually read Marx and understand the root texts of socialism/communism, but according to Sowell, there’s a lot of pre-requisite reading involved in really understanding what Marx & Engels were talking about. He also criticized most interpreters of not bothering to do their homework on surrounding texts and that many have mangled some of Marx’s points. I was not able to make it past chapter two of this book because I was floundering pretty hard. It’s a little discouraging to feel the limits of my comprehension so sharply. I’m going to take a break with some fiction.

Video Games

Bendy and the Ink Machine. Want to talk about being late to the bandwagon? I mean, I got on the bandwagon when everyone was talking about it, but then I got through chapter 3 and there was a graphics reboot, so I started playing from the top and then kind of… dropped off? Never got past chapter 3. Finally, I felt like I was in a good place and could take the jump scares, so I blasted through the first three chapters in about a night. Then for the next couple days I played through the last two chapters. I have to say, chapter 4 is my favorite and has probably the most disturbing image that, while disturbing, was epic and fantastic in its own creepy way (merry-go-round-and-round, anybody?). I didn’t really understand the ending, but there were some interesting theories to be found on Youtube about what it all means. This was an enjoyable game for someone like me who can’t really handle high level horror and isn’t too adept with controls because it had simple controls and the horror was… toned down, I’d say. I played through Soma and I tried (and absolutely ditched) Amnesia, and Bendy is at about the level of horror I can deal with. Good game.

Confess My Love. Started and ditched it. I was very, very annoyed at the girl by five rejections. In the end, I rejected HER by uninstalling the game.

Movies

Wolfwalkers. *inarticulate noises* f-f-found family…. nnngh…. *gentle sobbing*

#recent media consumed #n00b gamer child #child loves books

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springfieldblues · 4 years

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my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

#if you read all of this bless you #the imageless gdocs version of this is 8 pages long #hope you...enjoy?!?! these art history fun facts?!?!#dont let me do something like this again but also let me know if i should do something like this again #i was really only motivated to do this because im already passionate about the subject so idk if i could do it otherwise #anyway. this took me all day yesterday because the power kept going out #but im finally done #bye

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makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 275: YAAAAY but Also AHHHHH

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all “I’M FIGHTING TOMURA AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” and set everything on fire. Unlike SOME people, however, it turns out fire is NOT Tomura’s weakness, so he basically just shrugged it off. But before things could progress any further, AFO was all “psst, go get One for All” and Tomura was all “? One for All?” and Endeavor was all “?? One for All?” and Deku and Kacchan, who were listening in on their earpieces, were all “!!!” Having thus realized that Tomura was targeting him, Deku sped off to lead him somewhere away from the civilians... accompanied by his good friend Bakugou “274 chapters of character development have all been leading up to this” Katsuki. Because like hell are you going to have an EPIC BATTLE with the FINAL VILLAIN without him, you damn nerd. Who’s he going to heroically sacrifice himself for if you’re not there?? Hahh!?

Today on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan fly off to battle Tomura after confusing Endeavor into giving them his location (which wasn’t very hard lmao). En route, Deku finally thinks to ask Kacchan why he’s tagging along, and Kacchan is all “DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S JUST BECAUSE I WANT REVENGE ON TOMURA, AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL, HOW DARE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT”, which is super convincing and didn’t make me roll my eyes at all. Anyways so then Tomura shows up and is all “EYO TIME TO KILL YOU NOW” and Deku and Kacchan are all “OH SFFKDFK”, but fortunately Gran shows up to save them in the nick of time, because BnHA is literally the only shounen manga in which grown-ups will see kids trying to lead a battle and be like “lol wtf” and actually try to stop that shit instead of being all “what are your orders, children.” The chapter then ends with the heroes doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING??Namely, having the guy who can TURN OFF QUIRKS battle the guy with the ultimate death quirk! I’m so proud. But also I swear to god, if Tomura so much as breathes suspiciously in his direction...!! What the fuck. HORIKOSHI.

y’all what in the fresh hell is this bs

not yet there isn’t son but if you keep trolling like this I can give your nervous system something to actually be nervous about

anyway. this was his comment from last week’s issue of Jump, and I have absolutely no idea what it’s referring to, is the fun part! did he cry because of something he was working on in a chapter that’s coming up? or is he just tired from a combination of stressful mangaka schedule + 2020 in general?? or hell, for all I know he just recently watched Titanic or some shit

(ETA: KILLING AIZAWA SHOUTA WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE CRY OUT OF JOY, THOUGH. RIGHT?!)

anyways I guess it’s time to read and see if I feel like sadly happily crying for two hours afterward

-- oh shit I just realized there are two scanlations out for this?? one from readjump.com, and one from readheroacademia.com. lol now what. uhhh

lulzes. I guess I’ll go with RHA for now and keep checking back to RJ after each page and I’ll go with whichever translation I liked better

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MILLENNIAL VILLAIN

or would he actually be gen z. he was already in his twenties when this manga started like six years ago, so I’m going with millennial. but on the cusp though I guess. anyway, he plays video games though is the point

and I see he’s already decided to contradict me and my inane speculations not two panels in! I GUESS I AM JUST A FOOL. that’s really interesting though. I wonder if it’s just Monoma’s quirk that doesn’t take the accumulated “save data” from the people he copies from, then? guh. how many of my AFO/OFA theory notes do I have to scrap now

and there’s a little quirk blurb about Search, which is fairly useless given that we already know how it works (actually in even greater detail than shown here), but at least it comes with a cute little picture of Ragdoll in her hero costume, to make us all sad and stuff

so anyways Tomura who are you looking at?? this was a topic of some contention last week! also why were you only seeing nine people then. Ragdoll had seen everyone in 1-A along with Aizawa and her fellow Pussycats at a minimum, so is this confirmation that Tora and Mandalay and Pixie-Bob are all really dead then, because I CAN AND WILL HUNT DOWN A MAN AND MAKE HIM CRY FOR A GOOD DEAL LONGER THAN TWO HOURS IF THAT’S REALLY THE CASE. was Kouta not traumatized enough already?? LET’S JUST ORPHAN HIM AGAIN WHY NOT THAT’S A GOOD PLAN

(ETA: I really hate that we are still up in the air regarding this? and I mean, sure, why not, we only had like a dozen lady heroes to begin with, so why not just kill off two more of them, offscreen, in one fell swoop??)

WHAT IS A SHAME. TOMURA. DAMN IT

(ETA: ??)

-- well hello there

OR MAYBE I WAS NOT A FOOL AT ALL?? lol guys. please do not tell me my hobo husband is flying his vengeful ass over to where Tomura all heedless of the danger because I really do not need that just yet. CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS PLEASE FUCKING TAKE TURNS BEING IN TERRIBLE DANGER INSTEAD OF ALL AT ONCE

sob we’re cutting back to Endeavor and Deku and Kacchan. ACTUALLY THAT’S GOOD THOUGH why am I complaining. I’m just gonna have to get used to the fact that no one is going to truly be safe for the next god knows however many chapters, and make my peace with that. hahaha. yeah right

lmao Deku. “HEY WHAT’S UP, ME AND MY FELLOW CHILD HERE ARE GONNA LURE SHIGARAKI TOWARDS US, BUT WE’LL EXPLAIN OUR REASONS FOR THAT LATER. IF YOU SEE HIM MAKING ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS PLEASE INFORM US SO AS TO AID US IN THIS PLAN.” Endeavor if you just go along with this I will lose so much respect for you lmao

lol he is trying to argue a bit but then he’s suddenly cutting off. so in hindsight I don’t know why I said “lol”, really. I’M JUST NERVOUS OKAY

btw in the other translation Deku straight up asks if Endeavor can redirect Tomura towards them. “sure no problem bucko, let me just tell the walking apocalypse exactly where he can find you, my two sixteen-year-old interns whose safety I am responsible for. I was just thinking to myself that I hadn’t had my fill of crazy ill-thought-out plans with a high risk of death today”

holy --

okay I have not the SLIGHTEST clue what’s going on here, even after analyzing both scans, except that someone, probably Tomura, either just went CRONCH or just GOT cronched just now lmao. let us read on to find out who was cronched and who did the cronching

the rest of this page is not really much more helpful

but I am becoming increasingly suspicious that those were in fact Tomura’s new, improved and ridiculously thicc legs doing the cronching as he did a Marvel Superhero Landing from the most RIDICULOUS ANGLE POSSIBLE

LMAO NOW WHAT

so he just cronched onto the ground and fooshed Endeavor and then went flying off again huh

LMAO AT EVERYTHINNNNNG

THANK YOU ENJI. HE’LL LURE HIM AWAY. lols WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL THEM WHICH WAY HE WAS HEADED YOU BOOB

he really just fucking hung up on him afterwards too. just, “got it thanks amigo just leave everything to me, [CLICK]”

OH MY GOD

BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE CONVENIENTLY INTERFERING WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR LITTLE THROWDOWN OF DESTINY HUH. THAT WOULD JUST BE TERRIBLE

-- oh shit

that’s just. a SLIGHT change in meaning, there. silly me. thinking “get rid of them” meant “get rid of their communications as opposed to FUCKING KILLING THE ONE YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY AFTER. hmm. well that’s not good

(ETA: never have I been so happy that a translation was wrong lmao.)

so now Endeavor’s shouting at everyone else that Tomura is heading southwest and that he has “SUPER REGENARTION” (sic) and is no longer THE SAME THUG HE WAS BEFORE and yeah RHA you have officially won me over, flaws and all. listen up boyos. this ain’t your granddaddy’s Shigaraki Tomura. this one regenars

also “that damn kid...” like why the hell did my son have to go and befriend two protagonists. why is this my life now

AHAHAHAHA

“MIDORIYA IS IN DANGER...!!” STORY OF THIS MANGA. AHAHA. KACCHAN HE’S COMING. HE’S COMING, KACCHAN. for you two. someone please help me I am both terrified and thrilled beyond all recognition and my body doesn’t know how to handle the conflicting emotions. honestly crying for two hours is starting to sound more and more appealing

oh my god I forgot they didn’t know, though

fff. Kacchan especially didn’t know, because unlike Deku he doesn’t have random bits of other people’s souls going “heyyyyyyy... transcendent being at 12 o’clock.” what has this kid so bravely and stupidly gone and gotten himself into

look at them go

damn Deku can you really not float yet?? that’s going to be really inconvenient if that’s the case

(ETA: my boy really would have just straight up died. he would have died so hard.)

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU WANT TO ASK HIM LMAOOOO. well it’s because of all the character development!! if you must know

THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER BLASTY MCANGERTY

you’re not as smooth as you think you are, you know. we all know why you actually followed him. but fine, be that way

okay so now he’s giving a real-er answer though

“understand the situation”, the situation being that your best friend and his secret-trump-card-in-the-battle-against-evil quirk were being targeted by the guy who just obliterated this entire city. got it. you put it quite succinctly

and Deku is all

and Kacchan is all

love how he throws that protagonist crack in there too. because we all know that Deku absolutely is the protagonist lol, and so if that part’s obviously not true, we can make some inferences about the rest of what he’s saying too now can’t we

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap

YOU SURE DO!! and he does with you too!! :) it’s gonna be one big happy reunion! :) :) :) oh gosh golly

OH NO KATSUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what are you doing to me, I should clarify. please be considerate of my feelings. you can’t just DUMP sudden Kacchan Kamino Angst on me without any warning, you have to let me know in advance so that I can buy some thank you cards

THERE’S MOREEEEE???

YOU REMEMBER TOO, DON’T YOU DEKU. HE WAS ALL CRYING AND STUFF. IT WAS A LOT. IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE NEVER PERSONALLY GOTTEN OVER IT

AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE NEVER QUITE GOT OVER IT EITHER

:’)

by the way in the other translation he says “I’ll make up for what I did that day.” so yeah. BOOM. right to the heart. shot of me collapsing to the ground in slow motion

but it’s interesting though that he still can’t admit to having selfless motives yet! even after everything he’s been through and all his character growth! he’s still all GET RID OF THE REFERENCES TO ME CARING ABOUT YOU, WE CAN’T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE HAVE FEELINGS

but even his Kamino feels are notably first and foremost about him feeling responsible for failing All Might. so yeah, buddy. where does that leave you? even your feeble excuses are still rooted in selflessness, JUST GIVE IN AND ADMIT YOU’VE BEEN SECRETLY GIVING A SHIT BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK. and honestly he might be better off at this point if he didn’t! BUT HE DOES. and that’s that

anyways Deku I sure hope you and your big hero brain can see right through this nonsense

god. you’re both in so much danger though, do you even have any idea?! of course you fucking don’t. god

HELLO BAKUGOU NARRATION!?!

well that’s one hell of a rare sight!! all fresh and chock full of shrewd observations about his best rival’s current skillset. ah what a time we’re living in

ooooh

gonna hold off commentary until I read the next part of this lol

OOOOOH

goddamn. Horikoshi really went off this week. just a whole chapter’s worth of Stuff Makeste Really Likes, goddamn is it my birthday or what

so do you guys think he’ll be able to keep pace all the way up to 100%? I can see this part being interpreted in two totally different ways if I’m being honest. on the one hand we have the more pessimistic (some would say realistic) view that Bakugou is desperately trying to convince himself that he’s still on the same level as the rival he so desperately wants to surpass, but with the sinking feeling that he’s actually not going to be able to keep up for much longer. and then on the other side of the coin we have the more glass-half-full perspective that he actually is capable of keeping up with him right to the bitter end. that even as Deku grows stronger, he’ll continue to push himself and use that as motivation to keep getting stronger too. that Deku isn’t out of reach; that his goal isn’t out of reach

and I’m not completely sure which way this is leaning myself! I personally would like to lean more towards the second interpretation, because y’all know I love me some rivals. and also because imo one of the most commendable things about Bakugou’s development has been how he hasn’t once been envious of Deku’s strength or of his position as All Might’s chosen heir since he learned about OFA. he hasn’t once shown any kind of resentment towards him for it, or doubted whether or not he deserves it. and as minor a detail as that may seem to some people, I cherish it. and I don’t want that to change! but I guess we shall see

so now we’re getting the clearest shot we’ve had yet of the new AFO holes in Tomura’s palms as he gets ready to combine some more quirks. also! more information about the quirks he has and is using! fucking thank you, where was this last week

so “radio waves” is clearly going to be used here to disrupt the heroes’ communication, which is a shame for them, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved given the alternative! the RJ translation is clearly just a hot mess lol. but I still adore that one “I’ll make up for what I did” line though

WOW

THE DISRESPECT. LOL DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HIS ASS

(ETA: I just realized he’s nowhere to be found after this, though, so... did he?? or is he now lying somewhere now all wounded and waiting to be found by one, or, dare I say, two of his sons? ...)

LKDFJLSDKGHOSIDGHOISDflkwejfdfsdklggdflgnfdlgndakgalkgldfdfkwlfwiowelKLDSGKSL:DKGJL:DKFM?G?SGSDLKG?SDFSDF??LKJ@L!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

even if you ask him nicely??! somehow I just can’t help feeling that he probably shouldn’t oblige you, though!?!?!

anyways. THAT AIN’T SAFE. and what the hell is happening in that bottom left corner ahhhhhh

AHHHHHHH

GRAN DM ME YOUR ADDRESS I WANT TO SEND YOU SOME FLOWERS AND A BASKET OF FRUIT AND CRACKERS AND SOME LITTLE CHEESES AND SAUSAGES

jesus christ it completely slipped my mind that there was one other person currently in the vicinity who knows about OFA. my good sir, maybe you would like to introduce these two dunderfucks to the concept of a “plan.” and maybe you can also find the single shared braincell they apparently dropped and lost somewhere back there in all the city rubble

oh fuck me

(ETA: does Kacchan look so rattled here because he is being lectured, or because he just saw a vision of his own death and is now having it explained to him just how close he came to being decomposed. you decide! I’ll just sit here and bask in the angst.)

fuck. main character gods were really working overtime here. anyways so how are you all doing this fine Friday afternoon. me, I’m just sitting here wrangling with the knowledge that Tomura’s quirk is even deadlier than I realized, and that my two little boys came within inches of dying horrible deaths just now. but anyways it’s not as humid today as it was yesterday so that’s really nice

anyways so now Gran is continuing to lecture the mayor of Dumb Ideas Town here, along with his friend the deputy mayor who still thinks he outranks the actual mayor

SHH NOW AND LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDPA

-- ohhhh shit son are they mounting a counterattack?? don’t tell me!!

also is Gran seriously faster than Tomura. that makes no fucking sense, and yet these two are only alive now because of it so I’M SURE NOT GONNA QUESTION IT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AND IS AIZAWA ON HER BACK THOUGH???

AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

AH, BUT IT AIN’T GONNA WORK THOUGH, IS IT!!! AHAHAHA YESSSSSS

excellent question sir. the short answer is “they’re idiots”, and the long answer is just a longer version of “they’re idiots” but with some more complicated BakuDeku feels mixed in. I’ll tell you all about it if you just promise me that you’ll actually live through this, all right?

“is he after the two of them?” listen boy if you don’t finally put two and two together after this I’m gonna be fucking beside myself lol. (though honestly, Deku and Kacchan have been targeted by the League so many other times already that he might just simply accept “yeah they’re after them again” without any further explanation)

my dear gentlefolk would you fucking look at how the lord has blessed us on this day

Aizawa Fucking Shouta and the motherfucking dramatic intro to end all dramatic intros. finally this man gets his moment

someone please teach me how to cast a force field. teach me how to reach into the manga and slap this man and tell him to stop talking about how everyone’s noble sacrifices to protect him and his eraser quirk have led him to this day and to this one encounter. my guy. my fucking dude. THERE HAD BETTER BE SUBSEQUENT ENCOUNTERS AFTER THIS

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ISN’T HE THOUGH??? Tomura I love you sweetie but you better BACK THE FUCK. OFF

well FINE THEN! BE THAT WAY. it’s not like my life revolves around you and your stupid manga anyway!! it’s not like I’m obsessed with it or anything!! I have other hobbies!! well I actually do have other hobbies, so that doesn’t really work as sarcasm, so let’s see though. maybe something more like, “this isn’t by far my favorite out of all my hobbies!!” I don’t spend 80-90% of my free time on any given day either actively or passively daydreaming about this series and writing essays in my head and reading fanfic and scrolling through art on tumblr!! etc.!! whatever!! enjoy your break!! have fun living your life!!

please don’t kill Aizawa

#bnha 275 #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #shigaraki tomura #aizawa shouta #endeavor #gran torino #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #well then #now that I have 'fixed' this post and am playing by tumblr's rules #I wonder if it's too late to get it unhidden from the tag search :/

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bemey · 3 years

Text

[found this in my drafts] Skwisgaar, Toki, and Murderface in Tamriel

combining my hyperfixations let's gooooooooooooooooo

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

it's very obvious that as a Swede, his race in a fantasy universe would be that fantasy universe's version of our world's ye olde Scandinavians (aka, he'd be a Nord, duh) BUT i like to think if you gave him a pair of fake elf ears matching his skintone, he'd pass as just a really pale Altmer

he's beautiful, tall, slender, arrogant and talented, im sure he'd fit right in with either group, maybe even less so with Nords since Nord society values brute strength and high tolerance for alcohol, of which Skwisgaar has neither (I know he beat up that one guy with his guitar once BUT!!! he's absolutely the least violent fifth of Dethklok)

as a non-metal-musician in Tamriel im sure he'd have mastered a magic school instead of electric guitar, but i can't really figure out *which* school, *maybe* enchanting, *maybe* mysticism, but if i had to pick i'd settle on one of the schools governed by Willpower (alteration, destruction and restoration) because, let's be real, he's more dedicated (to his life passion) than he is intelligent >_>;;

the thing is, i'd make an argument that epic guitar solos heal people (not physically), so that'd be restoration, BUT if he was in a party of sorts I can't really imagine him as just a healer on the sidelines (that's Toki and Mface's thing hehehe), he needs something, hm...... Flashier. like fireball spells, but then again he's not really violent on the show and doesnt get into many fights (unlike SOMMMEEE people), so i'd say both Destruction and Restoration

BUT there's also Illusion magic, with which you seduce, make yourself shiny, paralyse, calm people etc and i cant think of a better analogy for guitar playing that stuns you and puts you into a trance because it's just so good

(also FYI nord males get a penalty in willpower and personality but i suppose he overcomes that, because i have trouble imagining him not heavily using skills governed by those stats)

and for the class- im forcing myself to pick from the set of 21 standard classes and looking at (this page) for reference because if i took custom classes into account it'd really complicate things-

an obvious answer'd be Bard, which makes sense because, you know, being popular and attractive, but in a gameplay sense it's more stealth and less magic (also if we picked bard just because he's a musician in the MTL universe, all other DK members would be bards too and that's pretty lame)

looking at the page i linked, the ''Healer'' class fits the bill, governing personality, willpower, destruction, restoration, speechcraft, and illusion. i wont lie, it doesnt sound the coolest (compare to a class desc like Nightblade, now that shit's awesome), but it makes the most sense to me

TL;DR nord by blood BUT looks and acts like a high elf, class: healer

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Toki Wartooth a nord as well but! i've met plenty of nord dudes in ES games who are really nice to me but kind of not too smart (think Thrud in Godsreach in Mornhould the city that came with Tribunal the DLC for TES3 Morrowind), and im not saying Toki isn't smart (he's educated enough, has geeky interests, knows a thing or two about model-plane building, i think he might be one of the smarter DK members actually) but a nearly-fatal flaw is his naivety which would unfortunately translate into a low intelligence or maybe personality stat in a TES game

when you have a low personality stat, NPCs dont like you as much, and (in Morrowind) whatever options you pick while Persuading an NPC are less effective, even taunt and intimidate)

but i wanna argue in the case of Toki in Tamriel, that low personality stat wouldn't come in the form of being an intimidating douchebag, because we all know Toki's really, really nice, and he has his moments of being a jerk on the show, but he's mostly kind and polite, especially to strangers, and *definitely* holds the title of ''Dethklok member most likely to agree to an autograph and selfie with a fan after a concert and then give them a friendly hug''

it's difficult for me to decide which attributes he'd govern, and a lowered luck isn't possible at character creation, but i'd lower it if possible

high strength, yes, i can imagine Toki with either a blunt or blade

high willpower, competent with restoration and destruction like Skwisgaar, but not as dedicated to the mastery, duh

high endurance- knowing the shit he's been through, might be pretty high

(''cheats death'' and ''unpredictable'' are both keywords i'd describe Toki by)

i have my eyes on either Crusader or Spellsword BUT I thought the class description for Scout fit Toki just perfect and I even made a little joke about it to my friend once

TL;DR nord spellsword or crusader, but i'd pick spellsword if i was forced to choose

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William Murderface

ive been so exicted to get to this one because, hear me out- khaijit pilgrim

Murderface's spirit animal is a dang tiger, man, and now it's true Murderface isn't very athletic or agile like a khaijit BUT listen, in Oblivion Khaijit get a daily power that let's them intimidate opponents because they're like, big cats, literally, like a tiger or lion and wouldn't you run if you saw one IRL? AND Murderface isnt very popular with fans, which I'd imagine would translate into low personality maybe, but Mface is dare i say pretty dang skilled at making people hate him or hate others or get into fights, aka using a high personality stat for bad (taunt/intimidate) not good (admire), which is why I instantly thought he'd be a Pilgrim (''They profit in life by bartering in the market, or by persuading the weak-minded.'')

look me in the eye and tell me lockpicking, sneaking and punching people arent things Murderface would love to do, also scamming merchants and stabbing people, and khaijit conveniently get a small bonus in Blade and you know who loves knives? M u r d e r f a c e

inappropiately urinating in places? cat. face like an inbred white tiger? cat. sneaky jerk? cat. also i just really want him to be a catboy, man

i did think of him as an Orc too because of the whole martial culture and being a race that was cursed with 'ugliness' (not always true, some orcs are pretty hot), *but* the martial culture orcs have isnt really the barfight kind nords or dunmer have, it's more organised and honourable is it not? they take fighting seriously

would you say Murderface'd rather practice like blunt weaponry all night and day, then go to war and die for his clan, *or* would he sneak in a tavern, steal shit, insult someone, then get into a bar fight? that's what i thought !!!!

fuckin obviously you cant appoint the latter to khaijit because that'd be racist and im not a huge fan of discrimination against beastfolk myself, an orc could be a thief too, but have a look at this:

(for orcs), and the minuses in intelligence is mostly what makes me think Murderface wouldnt be an orc because he's pretty smart

smart as in street-smart and smart with people, specifically at what makes people mad or do ugly things, and thats something I have to hand to Willy, he's cunning even if not always sucessful in that endeavor because of his bad luck and unattractiveness, but in terms of raw people-skills he's not so bad

and for his class- I know i said pilgrim earlier but i wanna consider some alternatives: rogue or thief

''a tongue as sharp as a blade'', and ''profits from the losses of others''? both Murderfacecore, but I might wanna stick with Pilgrim just because they're history nerds

TL;DR Khaijit pilgrim

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(this was an old wip i found in my drafts so i havent written Pickles's or Nathan's parts yet >_> sorry, i do have the ideas ready in my head though) (also feel free to share your opinions)

#adhd hyperfixation #ramble #tesblr #metalocalypse #the elder scrolls #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #william murderface #nonner made this #urine m

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popwasabi · 4 years

Text

Why I don’t give a fuck about canon

Recently, after randomly coming across some dope pictures of Transformer toys on Instagram that gave me a strong case of nostalgia, I was inspired to revisit an old childhood favorite in “Beast Wars.”

“Beast Wars,” in case you never watched or heard of it as a kid, is the continuation of the Transformer’s story set in the future as descendants of the Auotobots and Decepticons, the Maximals and Predacons, respectively, accidentally travel to prehistoric Earth to continue a centuries long battle between the two opposing factions.

There’s a lot of to digest there, so I’m not going to go into extreme detail over the plot, but the cast features colorful characters such as Optimus Primal, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot and Megatron to name a few. They all have interesting and distinct personalities and generally play well off each other. It was a big part of my childhood and I collected an ungodly amount of their toys back in the day.

(This was my first ever Beast Wars toy and I think it’s beautiful.)

My rewatch though was…a mixed bag to say the least. The graphics have not aged well. The adventure of the week setup of the plot was repetitive and lacked real character development at times. There were characters that were added in last minute to the show clearly to promote a new action figure over the story on numerous occasions. Though I found the humor to still be pretty good, the action was stale and just lacked high stakes most of the time, save for a few episodes.

I was not shocked it didn’t land terribly well on my rewatch but you know what did? “Beast Machines!”

“Beast Machines” was the follow-up to Beast Wars that had the Maximals fighting on Cybertron where Megatron has taken control of the whole planet using a virus that changes Transformers into mindless drones to do his bidding. The remaining Maximals manage to survive however after Optimus discovers The Oracle which reformats them into animal robot hybrids that are both mechanical and biological. This sets them on a quest to stop Megatron and bring biological and mechanical balance to Cybertron once and for all.

The series is much more narrative based than the previous as it follows a steady trajectory to its epic conclusion. The animation is much sharper, and the soundtrack is fun as hell to listen to still. The pacing is much faster as the stakes couldn’t be higher for the Maximals and all the old characters from the previous grow in interesting ways and develop into more organic people (literally in some ways). Optimus is a more hardcore and emotionally damaged leader and Megatron goes from being something of a punchline in the previous series to a far more menacing and calculating nemesis. The story touches on themes of balance, authoritarianism, PTSD, love and reunion to name a few and for a kids’ show it is, dare I say…more than meets the eye.

I absolutely loved it as a kid and I might actually love it even more as an adult, so it was shocking for me, to say the least, when I read further into the history of the show, that a lot of fans straight up rejected it back in the day.

Common complaints I came across were they didn’t like how characters, such as Ratrap especially, “changed.” They didn’t like the new bio/mechanical Maximals and couldn’t believe that Cybertron was once an organic world.

Their big reason (in just about every forum and video I saw about it)? It didn’t adhere to “canon.”

Now, I’ll start this by saying there is no objective way to critique or even not critique a story. People can like or hate something for a variety of reasons that don’t follow a strict logical pattern. Gods know I have a few questionable/divisive favorites in my catalogue that I have written about here that are based on abstract ideas and personal experiences.

(The Matrix Reloaded is still great btw)

But I will say, if you judge a mega franchise’s latest entry on how well it is supported by established canon it is, in my opinion, a flawed way to critique a work of fiction.

Canon, sometimes referred to as “lore” by fans, is most often applied and used to describe the long running back stories of franchises that stretch beyond just the main books, movies or series, or even the original narrative of the plot. Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, and to a certain extent Harry Potter, all fall into this camp of series with so many interconnected parts, with more than one main character featured in each, that fans follow along this canon like ancient monks studying scripture and history books.

And they can be just as fanatical and over zealous about it.

(I wish they were more fanatical about proper hygiene or at least deodorant...)

My problem with the ways fans often view canon is that their conceptions of what a new story should be is based entirely on the past rather than what is happening right now with the story and what themes the writer is trying express with it this time.

They base their impressions of the story on external continuity more than the internal continuity.

Yea, the changes in a series like “Beast Machines” are jarring to say the least. Cybertron was formally an organic world like Earth? Rattrap doesn’t have confidence in himself and actually at one point sells out his comrades? Transformers can be biological now? It’s a lot to take in but when watching the story play out it’s not like these elements aren’t explained through the text of the new story.

Cybertron lost balance between its robot inhabitants and its biological life forms and its why it’s out of balance now, and Megatron is the logical progression of that inbalance. Rattrap is struggling to understand his new form, half his friends on the Maximals have been turned into drones, and the remaining team out loud say they don’t have confidence in him. He has PTSD from both the events of this story and the Beast Wars and feels insecure because of how others view him and that’s perfectly logical to not just the story but also the canon. If a fan is willing to give a story a chance they will see that the canon hasn’t actually been destroyed in much of any way and the logical progression is actually there if they simply listen to what’s going on.

(Seriously, it’s not that deep.)

Fans need to stop confusing a character achieving a franchise long arc with being “suddenly different.” In this way, criticisms of canon in new entries in long running series reveal that fans really just lack imagination to connect the dots. It would be like complaining that Luke Skywalker can’t become paranoid and make a grave mistake in judgment because people never change, nevermind the character already has changed a lot from his origins in “A New Hope” to where he was in “Return of the Jedi.”

(Oh wait, people did do that…)

But that’s not to say you have to like the new direction either. You can understand these changes and still be like “well, it’s not for me. I don’t care for a PSTD angle or a new origin for Cybertron,” but that’s whole lot different than saying the new series “rapes your childhood” or “Bastardizes the canon.” All the old canon you hold nostalgia for still exists. My love for “Beast Machines” is not harmed by the existence of newer Transformers properties that don’t meet what I look for in the series.

Too often, fans take changes to established “lore” very personally because it doesn’t fit their expectations or have the same nostalgic feelings they had before. When new entries in mega franchises occur fans often try to judge it by how much it is like what they watched before, rather what makes it different and what it is saying now. Again, you don’t have to like new directions in tone or character but consistency to established work DOES NOT equal good storytelling.

I have not been immune to this myself in the past, of course. Back in the day I wrote a 2500-plus word diatribe on “The Amazing Spider-man 2” that mostly went after how it changed the character I grew up with in a bad way and butchered the established back story I knew him by.

You know what other story doesn’t follow canon very well though? “Spider-man: Homecoming.”

(Now, hear me out...)

Spider-man in the MCU is generally agreed upon to be a good thing by fans. Both movies were big hits both critically and financially and fans often go as far as to say Tom Holland is the “definitive” Peter Parker.

But Holland’s Spider-man differs quite a bit from the comic-book webslinger. This Spider-man does not have a spidey sense. His best friend is not Harry Osbourne but in fact a retcon of a Mile Morales character. His father figure is Tony Stark, something that never happened in the comics, instead of Uncle Ben, which no matter what way you spin it is arguably his most important relationship in the series.

His character is a reverse of traditional Peter Parker too. Where comics Peter is a reluctant hero, who if anything hates being Spider-man and the burden of his responsibility, “Homecoming” Spider-man actively seeks out responsibility and in many ways enjoys his role as the famous webslinger. In fact, his whole arc is about him earning a spot as an Avenger. He wants to be THE hero and be worthy of it. It’s completely different from what we know of Spider-man.

(He just wants Tony sempai to notice him uWu)

Now I know some fans actually do complain about this Spidey from a “canon” standpoint, but most don’t. So why did this Spider-man get a pass for many but not “The Amazing” one? Quite simply it’s because stories, as cheesy as it sounds, are about feelings and stories like “Homecoming” tell a good story that effectively make those feelings connect with the audience.

We root for this Peter Parker and his journey to becoming an Avenger and successor to Iron Man because the story is told well, the emotions feel earned, and frankly both films are fun and enjoyable.

It’s easy to complain about canon for many nerds because it’s something tangible that they can point to and make a big stink about when they don’t understand why a movie isn’t reaching them. I don’t doubt that many neckbeards genuinely hate a film like “The Last Jedi” (Hell, I’m not a big fan myself) but when those same nerds enjoy something like “The Mandalorian,” a series that has its own loose relationship with canon and establishing new rules in the series, it tells me it’s not about the “lore” to them.

(Easy, fanboys...)

I have come to understand, in my growth as a nerd, that my problems with a lot of movies and TV shows in my favorite series rarely, if ever, have anything to do with the story not meeting some arbitrary guidelines regarding canon. It has more to with the story simply not connecting with me emotionally. The story isn’t drawing me in and keeping me on its narrative path. I’m not feeling the same magic that someone else might feel enjoying it because either a) it doesn’t feel earned to me or b) it just stylistically isn’t for me.

To paraphrase a line from another mega franchise, also owned by Disney, the canon is more like guidelines than actual rules.

(Didn’t expect to see ol’ Barbosa in this write up, did ye?)

It can show you where a story comes from but it isn’t law that you strictly adhere to it. Of course, when writing a new work in a popular series you should consider what came before it but I would like writer’s the freedom to try something new and most importantly fans to be open to it. You don’t have to like it but the idea that new entries in a story MUST remain strict to the canon is bull shit. Not even the original Star Wars trilogy adhered to its own canon perfectly, as clearly the writers were in fact making it up to a certain extent as they were going along.

(hmmmm...)

And that’s ok, because some of those changes were great! Made the story better and made the conclusion stronger.

Again, you don’t have to like every new entry that tries something bold or confrontational in your favorite franchise but if writers strictly followed canon to the T we wouldn’t have things like “Homecoming,” we wouldn’t have “The Mandalorian,” and we certainly wouldn’t have my favorite Transformers series “Beast Machines.”

Canon shouldn’t be a trap for writers and it shouldn’t be a litmus test for fans digesting it. There are so many better ways to judge a story than whether or not it fits neatly into established lore. A good story is a good story, regardless of whether or not it’s supported by something as static as canon.

“Beast Machines” has its flaws here and there, but canon isn’t one of them, at least not for me. Again, if you feel that the lore is important, that’s fine, you don’t have to ignore it but I would ask you to look beyond what came before when critiquing a new story.

Otherwise, you might miss something special that comes next…

Now then...

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the-cookie-of-doom · 3 years

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Good morning! Whats your favorite show/movie? Who are your favorite characters? Why do you like them so much? Also!! Did you have a good sleep?

Okay so I was a film major for a while, and I have opinions.

Penny Dreadful

I love this show. Like, so much. I adore it. I can not get enough of that show. Just all of the imagery, and the fantastic writing and acting. The episode intro alone is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Eva Green is a goddess and I love everything she’s been in. The take on classic horror stories is So Good, and it actually became the inspiration for my Gay Frankenstein story! (Started as a stitch AU, and then went completely OC after I had Ideas) but the show itself is so intimate? I think it’s largely that the period they’re in, everything was so repressed and restricted. So when the characters break out of those moments, it’s more meaningful. And the love-hate relationship between Ms. Ives and Malcolm in season one? Exquisite. I could literally write essay’s about this show, but I’ll restrain myself and just say: it’s the best ensemble show I’ve ever seen. The characters come together, but they also each have their own distinct lives that sometimes intersect, but in s2 especially, are quite separate. They are constant with one another like ensemble shows usually portray. Also gothic horror and romance? My absolute favorite.

Anything by Guillermo del Toro

This man Owns My Entire Soul. I’m not even joking, everything he writes and directs is perfection. Crimson Peak is probably my favorite (I have a stitch AU for this too ;) ) because again, Gothic horror and romance. I’m a slut for that shit. Also Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain? Delightful casting. I think it’s obvious by now that I love tragic relationships, so their dynamic is *chef’s kiss* amazing. they’re so damaged. And this quote right here is one of the BEST things I’ve ever read:

“But the horror... The horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.”

Engrave that on my headstone, please?? I’ve got a sort-of Dorian Gray AU (it’s delightful) that’s basically built on this entire premise. Mitch makes the mistake of falling in love with Stiles, and does many terrible things because of it. Mostly to himself, at least.

I think my love of Crimson Peak is very closely tied with The Shape of Water. another beautiful movie, I could wax poetic about this forever. it was beautifully written, and such an artistic movie. I love the way it was filmed, and the set design, and all of the subtle imagery. Such as Elisa’s apartment being cast in cooler tones, it always felt very damp and had evidence of water damage, compared to Giles’, a mirror image of her own, in more warm tones. This is another one I could (and have) write essays about. There is so much packed into this movie, from the themes on toxic masculinity and entitlement, to the conversation on queerness and race and disability, and how all the various relationships are portrayed. Like. there is so much to pick apart in this movie.

Aside from that, ofc Hell Boy deserves an honorable mention because i grew up on those movies. I’m pretty sure the Golden Army especially is responsible for who I am today, given all the lore on the fae in that universe. Wow, that explains so much about me... Also one of my first WoW characters was an elf named Nuala xD I still have her, too, and it’s been like 12 years lol

Near-Future Sci-Fi

Sci-fi is one of my favorite genres, I am a huge nerd for theoretical and astrophysics. But my favorite kind of sci-fi is the stuff that still takes place on Earth, rather than epic battles in space. Ex Machina and Annihilation are at the top of that list. Alex Garland is another writer/director that I love. He has the same kind of approach as del Toro, where he puts a lot of fine details into his work. And I love that it’s very cerebral; there are so many layers to Ex Machina. My English 101 prof actually refused to analyze it in class when I suggested it to him, because he didn’t think my class could. Basically handle? Dissecting that movie? Because a lot of it comes across as very surface level, but in some cases when you look deeper, it’s actually suggesting the opposite of what you might think at first glance. (And he was right, my fellow students were awful. I miss that class though, it was one of my favorites T_T Mr. Ryder was an awesome dude and super chill.)

Morgan is another good example. As you can see, I fucking love androids lol. Which brings me to another of my all time favorite movies: Cloud Atlas. I could literally watch this movie endlessly, I love it so much. The acting, the writing, the filming, all of it is top notch. And one thing they did in the movie that didn’t come across in the book, was reusing the same actors through the different eras in the book. That was just so neat, because it really encapsulates how connected these souls are, as we follow the threads of their story throughout time. If you haven’t seen the movie, I can’t recommend it enough.

Another one I always think of alongside Cloud Atlas, even though they aren’t related at all, is Predestination. It’s a great movie that explores the idea of fate and free will in a really clever way, utilizes time travel in a very organized way that I think was neat (think Umbrella Academy. They even use briefcases! As you can see, I love sci-fi bureaucracy, it’s fun. In fact The Bureau is another movie I enjoyed) and the main character is actually, explicitly trans, which was cool. You basically get to see the entire story of their life, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s just. So good. Mindfuckery galore.

Shoot, and I almost forgot! Arrival! That is one of the best movies, and another one I could watch nonstop. It focuses on mathematics and linguistics and I swear to god, I almost altered my entire college course because of this movie. Amy Addams is brilliant, Jeremy Renner is so soft and nerdy, and again, it has an amazing take on time travel. I am very particular about how time is handled in Sci-fi, and this portrayal was one of my favorite. (Most of my physics studies have been dedicated to the theory of time, so like. Strong Opinions.)

Fantasy

Stardust! It wasn’t until Good Omens can out that I realized Neil Gaiman is responsible for most of the stories I loved as a kid lol, and I had no idea he wrote stardust! But that is such a beautiful movie (I have a Stardust AU lol) and it’s definitely one of my comfort movies. Captain Shakespeare is one of the best characters ever, bless Robert de Niro. I would die for him. Fun fact, i had no idea Ipswitch was a real place until like. 2019. I 100% thought it was made up for the movie 😂

Alongside Stardust, I’ve always loved The Golden Compass. It’s fantasy, but also with that old-timey steampunk science feel, which is so fun and surprisingly difficult to find!

Mortal Engines also has the same kind of feel, and it was such an epic movie in every sense of the word. I’m a little sad that after all the work that went into it, it didn’t get a dedicated following or fan base, because I feel there’s so much potential in it. But at the same time, fandom tends to gather around media that has plenty of flaws for us to repair with gold, and there wasn’t much room for that in Mortal Engines.

I’m going to put Jupiter Ascending here even though it technically fits with the sci-fi, because that section is long as fuck and also this movie has such a fantastic feel. Mila Kunis? beautiful. The CGI? beautiful. Eddy Redmayne? One of the best villain portrayals i’ve ever seen. The whole oedipal vibe he had was immaculate, as was their portrayal of reincarnation, and just. The world building. GOD. I get so weak for through world building. Also the fkn intergalactic bureaucracy when they’re basically at the space DMV? One of my all time favorite scenes in movie history.

Horror

I have very little room in my life for horror. As I said, I have strong movie opinions, especially when it comes to horror movies. I don’t like how most of them rely on cheap jump scares and overused gore and gratuitous rape scenes, instead of, y'know, actual good writing.

Which is EXACTLY why I adore It: Chapter 1 & 2. It has none of those things, but still manages to be so terrifying. They are my favorite horror movies, and I’m saying this as someone who has genuine childhood trauma bc of the novel. Like. I couldn’t shower/take baths alone until I was almost 10 T_T When I was 6-7 and saw kids play by storm drains, I would run over screaming about how Pennywise was going to get them. Like, I had issues man. I was terrified to see the first one, and wouldn’t go until I could go with my best friend after she had already seen it, so she could warn me when something scary was about to happen 😂

And, one of my favorite aspects of the movie, and the thing that gave me Mad Respect for Any Muschietti? The way he filmed Bev and her father. They have a character who is literally being molested, but they never once have to show it. And yet their interactions are still so viscerally upsetting to watch. Sexploitation puts me off of most horror, and the fact that Muschietti doesn’t use it here, even when it would be actually somewhat justified? *chef’s kiss*. I love him.

I love horror as a concept, I’m just really picky about it because I expect the writing to be good. I don’t like short cuts. But in a lot of cases, even if I don’t enjoy the movie itself, I love to watch analysis videos on youtube! I love to see the philosophy and symbolism in different horror movies, even if i don’t like to watch the movies themselves. It’s a fun hobby.

Misc.

Then in general, some other stuff I love in no particular order:

The Internship (Bless Dylan, Stuart is such a bitch and I love him)

American Assassin (ofc. The writing itself is eh, but Mitch is my man)

Dylan’s episode of Weird City. (I actually have a lot of feelings about this one. Jordan Peele is another amazing writer/director, I really need to catch up on his works.)

Dorian Gray (*chef’s kiss*)

Rogue One (Makes me cry every time)

WARCRAFT (Obviously this is a fav. It made me so happy, words cannot express.)

Coraline and most other stop motion animation. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for that.

Literally anything associated with Tim Burton. Fun fact, when I was 12 and in middle school, I planned to decorate my future house inspired by tim burton. Like, i had Plans.

Most adaptations of Alice in Wonderland!

So! this got long as fuck! But you said you like that kind of thing lol 😂 I had kinda Eh sleep since I was up so late lmao, and I kept waking up (as usual, rip). And I’m so mad I go up for nothing! The dude I was supposed to show my listing to never showed, and is refusing to answer my calls >_> It’s been 2 hours now, and I still haven’t heard from him. But whatever, I already have a full price cash offer on the house so who cares. And that means I can play WoW all day, now!

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austennerdita2533 · 3 years

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Hey! Hope all is well!! First of all, thank you for all the links to save money on books. I checked them out and plan to use some with buying books!! And don’t worry I have other self-restraint issues-mine come more from the fact that I get bored easily so I have about 4-5 books going at the same time. That way I can switch up genres when I need it (for instance I always have a fantasy, a romance, and a dark romance all available to me at the same time because those are my favorites) but sometimes more than one of the genres too. I also am terrible at following a tbr for instance I have been wanting to read Ugly Love for months now but then as I get closer to finishing a book a different book grabs my attention and must be read asap. But to prevent money spending I just browse through kindle and download a free sample of books I want to try instead of buying them right away. Plus I have a rule with myself that I have to read the first 10% of the book that the free sample gives me before I buy anything because at that point I can tell if I like the writing style, the potential story, etc. Just because I don’t want to buy a book and not finish it so I don’t want to waste my money and time. It has worked well so far! I mean there really has only been one book (well series) that I did not buy because I could not even get through a chapter (unfortunately that was the from blood and ash series which I know is a big hit but personally the writing style just was not for me)but it still saved me money!!

I heard about the Book of Night by Holly Black I am really looking forward to it!! I have other friends who adore Jurdan so we are all pumped to see her take on an adult romance and the summary sounded really cool!!

I will have to check out Anxious People for sure!!

But anyway I finally finished The Atlas Six!! Honestly I would have finished it sooner but I got into a romance mood so I went and read both Birthday Girl, Punk 57, and Credence by Penelope Douglas. Definitely recommend Birthday Girl if you like age gap relationships-it is a big one though so if those are not for you I do not recommend it. Punk 57 was okay, I was expecting a little more out of it than I got and I only read it since they were pen pals and I love letter writing but there was not a whole lot of that. And Credence well Credence is what it is LOL it is SUPER taboo and not for everyone and I feel slightly ashamed to say I enjoyed it, but I do not know you well enough on a personal basis to say read it or not read it because well it is wild and it is really a book that I think you love or you epically hate and think people are insane for liking. So look up at your own risk.

But did you end up finishing atlas six?? I do not want to talk about it unless you finished it!! What were your thoughts on the characters/plot/ships?? I am super excited about the future of it!! Olivie confirmed it will be a trilogy recently. I think the next book comes out next year. I also want to start some of her other books like Alone With You in the Ether. I just really enjoyed her writing style and the way she develops characters.

Can’t wait to talk about it with you once you get through it!!

-ACOTAR anon

Hello, hello! I'm embarrassed it's taken me so long to get back to you, I apologize! I haven't had access to WiFi the last week and a half so I haven't been on here much. I went away with two of my closest girlfriends and we were busy laughing, chatting, and goofing the time away--pretty standard with us, tbh. We're a bunch of Chatty Kathy's whenever we're around each other. 😄

But yayyy! I'm so happy you might be able to use some of those money saving book sites. They've been a godsend for me, truly. I mean, I still spend double what I ought on books but at least I can rationalize it because I know I'm saving some money lol. That's smart of you to have established that rule where you read 10% of the sample first before you buy the book. I might have to try that. I hate when I buy a book only to find myself disappointed because I don't enjoy the writing style or the story. I do usually read excerpts, but they're not always long enough for me to tell if I might like something or not.

I'm sorry you didn't care for the From Blood and Ash series. That seems to be hit or miss for a lot people. I believe I have the first two books on my Kindle (which I scored cheaply from Kindle Daily Deals lol) so I will get into it at some point. I'm curious which way I will land.

I don't know how people only read one book at a time. (No hate, just amazed lol.) Like you, I usually have at least 2, sometimes 3 or 4, books in rotation because I want to slip into different genres depending on my mood. And also depending on the time of day. Sometimes I prefer to read fantasies or thrillers during the day because they're exciting. I don't want to stop reading. Now, romances and non-fiction I will read at night, before bed. They're good genres to lull me to sleep with their facts and/or fluffiness.

I'm gonna have to check out Penelope Douglas. I'm not that familiar with her writing, but I'm always looking for new romance authors. You seemed so shy/embarrassed about liking Credence that I HAD to go and look up the summary lolol. You can't say "taboo" and then have me not investigate. My interest is piqued! The polyamory angle sounds fun. I've only read it in fic for the most part so this one's going on the tbr. As is Birthday Girl with the age gap. They both sound deliciously promising!

Something to know about me when it comes to books, to reading: I'm a daredevil. There's literally nothing I won't try at least once. There are times I balk AT MYSELF for the things I pick up knowingly, willingly, but I never regret it. Not even when I read something disturbing enough to give me nightmares. Which has definitely happened. 😂

And yes, I have finished The Atlas Six. I tore through that book so fast! I kept sneaking reading it when I was supposed to be doing other things. I loved that it was a character-driven fantasy because those are my favorite. And the magical system is so cool! It's such a creative blend of science and magic--like, the way she embedded particle physics and the multiverse into everything set my nerd flag flying like you wouldn't believe haha. The characters all have that morally gray Six of Crows vibe to them, too. They're enigmatic. Hard to pin down. They're all thrown together out of necessity not because they like each other, and it was fun to see how attachments did or did not form. I liked Callum the least. However, he's also one of the characters who intrigues me the most because I have no idea wtf he wants. There's no way to parse what his endgame is right now besides self-preservation. Nico is a conceited wise ass, so naturally I love him. Parisa and Reina both terrify me for different reasons. Parisa screams I AM A SIREN so I don't want to tread too close to her. Reina, I think, is going to just, like, detonate the whole planet at some point. She has so much untapped power. Tristan grew on me the most. I didn't care for him much in the beginning because he was an asshole, but then little by little, his layers start to peel back and you see how much he cares. How much he feels. Libby I related to a lot because I've spent most of my life feeling like an outcast like her. And the fact that she's constantly battling inadequacy--oof! That hit me.

As far as ships go, sheesh, I gotta say I'm conflicted! I feel like there are so many different directions the author could go??? It's rare for me not to know where the romance is headed, even this early on in the series, but I really don't.

Parisa and Dalton seem to be the most obvious ship right now. Even so, there's something dark, something dangerous and unknown lurking there so I don't know if that'll work out. Nico and Libby have the enemies-to-lovers type banter and dynamic that I love to gobble up. They're a lot of fun. I enjoy their scenes a lot. It's interesting that they're bound/connected in their powers, too. I can't wait to learn more about that. I'd be totally fine if they went romantic...but then I'm also picking up a vibe between him and his roommate. So I don't know what to think? I could get behind Libby and Tristan as well. Their unresolved tension leaps - literally LEAPS - off the page and I like how their dynamic progressed from dislike (on his end) to respect to something more...well, undefinable as of yet. There's palpable sexual/emotional energy between them, though, for sure. Callum seems to genuinely care about Tristan but he's been so damn manipulative! He'd have to jump through some hoops for me to get on board.

As you can see I babble a LOT when I get excited haha.

Anyway, what about you? Do you have any favorite characters or ships so far? That twist at the end was pretty good, don't you think? It blew the whole story wide open. I'm so looking forward to the rest of the trilogy.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts! xx

#anonyous #darling acotar anon #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree talks books

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goldenpinof · 5 years

Text

so basically here’s a script of “Basically I’m gay” by Daniel Howell, if someone needs it

link to a google doc

Hello Internet.

«Sex! Secrecy! And a whole lot of internal screaming. Starring Daniel Howell. One of the greatest mysteries of our generation. What is Dan’s sexuality?»

Spoiler alert. I’m not straight. Sex, the foundation of life and the only thing we’re really supposed to do. Everyone’s obsessed with it. You bunch of degenerates. In the list of things that identify a person, one of the most important for other people to know is their sexuality. For, if sex is the primal force propelling all of these humans forward by their hips, they have to know. Are we gonna fuck? Or like could we? Or are you, ‘cause I’m just wondering. Now, we live in a heteronormative world, which is a long scary word that makes people feel attacked for some reason. Shh it’s okay.

What it means is people are presumed to be straight. If you’re not, then at some point, you have to “come out”, which is a whole thing. Or people might just try and guess based on something you do or the way you act, because yay stereotypes. So this is something you have to be clear on, because if you’re not, how are all these other people that aren’t you going to cope? But I’m pretty sure no one that knows me thinks I’m straight. So I don’t really need to come out as much as just clarify what the hell is going on. As here I am at age 27 and my sexual preference is seemingly still a vague, debatable, confusing, impenetrable mystery. But why? And what is it? Well, those are some big questions. Are you sure you wanna know my answers?

[YES]

Okay, well, if you say so 'cause this is a complicated and sensitive issue and when it comes to me, boy, there is a lot to unpack here and it is a total clusterfuck. So strap yourselves in and let me tell you a queer little story about a boy named Dan.

Chapter 1 – The Word

♪ When I was a young boy ♪

♪ My father ♪

Didn’t have much time for me because my conception was clearly an accident and he was a narcissistic proud man suddenly inconvenienced in the prime of his life and this emotional neglect gave me lasting problems.

Sorry that’s not all relevant right now.

I was an only child for seven years and with working parents. This meant I had to make my own fun so I was imaginative and loud which is something that my teachers used to say quite a lot followed by, “However.” Here I am age five. Look at me. Cute, poised, sassy, turning out this photo shoot like sorry, Grandma, I stunted on this set. Are you seeing this? In almost every way, I literally peaked age five. I loved being the center of attention. People said I had an infectious happiness, that my beaming smile brought them hope and joy. People that know me are laughing right now. But a boy, in the '90s being happy and generally polite acting? Sounds kinda GAY if you ask me. Literally, masculinity was so fragile, people were so proud and scared and society so aggressive that a boy smiling!?.. appearing to be empathetic or in any way emoting was seen as a threat. How dare they laugh and feel comfortable? They must be soft and weak and girly and GAY. So basically thanks, Grandma, for raising me to be a nice child, you dick. Just kidding. That’s a joke and I told you not to watch this video because it would be rude so if you send me a disappointed text telling me you’re offended, I don’t know what to tell you. Although, now I think about it, you did make me go to church for 10 years, which in hindsight probably also didn’t help ♪ Hallelujah ♪ the issue here so. But then it was time for little Dan to go to school and this is when it

♪ All went wrong ♪

'Cause it turns out most children, evil pieces of shit. Doesn’t matter if you try to raise a happy innocent child, throw that kid into school, aka, a literal Mad Max Battle Royale with the feral offspring of your local community. Yeah, that crap’ll be undone in about two weeks. I was six years old running around the playground pretending to be Sonic the Hedgehog or something when two brothers come up to me aged seven and eight with an unexplained aggressive look in their eye. And the younger one pushes me to the ground, kicks me in the stomach, and just says, “GAY.”

This was the first time I ever heard that word. Well, I don’t know what the heck gay means but apparently it means people kick you on the floor so that ain’t good. I didn’t know this child or give them any cause to have an opinion on me. And, actually, I never directly interacted with them again. What epic clustershit of failed parenting and general culture brought this tiny child to get angry and attack someone, then call them gay for looking like they were having fun outside. Are you okay, 1990s? And so my relationship with sexuality began.

I wasn’t looking to define myself as a child indiscriminately playing doctors and nurses with various friends until once somebody’s mum walked into a room to find three fully naked children sat on a bed sticking sellotape to each other’s butts. Yep, which I don’t recommend. Also, Jesus Christ, the poor woman that saw that. Then you get to the magic age around 10 or 11 where everybody suddenly wants to pretend they’re totally a “cool teenager” who’s doing all the drugs and the sex and the fights, totally. Boy, gay was a really popular word back then.

[[Boy] Uh, homework is gay. [Girl] Uh, my mum’s so gay. [Boy] Uh, you touched a girl, gay.]

This one little shit who I won’t name was one of the school bullies and he loved the word gay. He had it in for me and I have no idea why. You know me, Mr. Winnie the Pooh Meets Slender Man. Well, when I was 10 just Winnie the Pooh. I didn’t do nothin’ to no one ever and yet this guy used my pacifism as a punching bag where any group situation was an excuse to single me out call me gay for some reason and then make everyone else exclude me because they were scared of him. I had a girlfriend. We dated for six whole weeks. We kissed in a game of spin the bottle once by literally sucking on each other’s faces. Then she ended dumping me over speakerphone at a birthday party that everyone in my class but me was invited to but, hey. I don’t know what I was doing wrong, but at this age, I understood one thing. Being gay, whatever that meant, was clearly the worst thing you could be. On a Darwinian level, I was being told, okay bitch, “Survival Code”. Don’t be this apparently. Evolution. Plot twist, this bully I think he was a bit gay because once he asked me to have a sleepover at his house and I thought was me finally getting socially accepted only for him in the middle of the night to come up and ask me, “So who’s going to be the boy and the girl?” I was an innocent smol bean who didn’t really understand what he meant because, to be honest, I didn’t actually understand get how babies were made yet. But needless to say I think he was disappointed. Wow, closeted child turns into homophobic bully. Thanks again society. But this whole primary school journey was really just an amuse-bouche for the full six-course tasting menu of suffering that would be secondary school.

I went to an all-boys school. It was a literal hellscape. I thought it was hard making it through a school of 200 kids with two or three bullies. Try over a thousand where a clean 800 are fully psychopathic gorillas fueled by testosterone, Red Bull, and Eminem albums. Making sure that the word f- no longer means an innocent bundle of sticks or a cigarette anymore in the British lexicon. Nope, now it was a cool homophobic slur along with gay, gaylord, gayboy, puff, pufter, ponce, batty, batty boy, bum-boy, bender. Shit, this is so long. People have a lot of words for something they don’t wanna think about. Look at me in this stupid blazer. Oh, “you’ll grow into it at some point in the next four years”. Thanks, Mum. Day one, kid in form class, some stupid hedgehog-looking motherfucker side eyes me and says, “What you lookin at, puff?” First interaction at a new school. Great! My entire existence on a daily basis then becomes navigating this school like I’m in the bloody “Maze Runner” trying to avoid aggressive pricks with chode ties. And you know being verbally abused for being a nerd or a Greebo at least felt relevant to me at the time. Greebo, definitely one of my faves there and I’m sure that Korn and Slipknot would have been proud to have 12-year-old me as a fan. I kinda knew who I was in the hierarchy at that point. I was essentially a theater kid who spent all of his free time playing Runescape on the AOL browser on his mum’s PC instead of football. I accepted it. But at least I wasn’t actually this “gay thing” people kept throwing around because by now I understood a gay is a boy who fancies other boys. And to be honest I don’t really feel like I’ve ever fancied anyone before.

Then puberty happened.

Oh yeah, this is fun, tingly feelings, I smell bad. It was quite fun dribbling on this girl’s face playing Truth or Dare, maybe later we’ll go behind that bike sheds and, there I was sat in English class, my friend next to me. I watched as he delicately removes a pencil from its case. We briefly make eye contact as he flutters his long black eyelashes with a blink before staring forward. His eyes are so bright and beautiful yet they seem so sad and deep with emotion. I wish I could just understand. Oh fuck, I think I’m a bit gay. You’re telling me this whole time I actually have been the bad thing that people keep calling me? Shit!

Chapter 2 – Feelings

Oh do you hear it that faint hum, something coming from a deep, dark place too powerful to control? It’s the self-hatred. She is here and she’s only getting started. Short version, I fall hopelessly in love with a friend of mine who doesn’t feel the same way which crushes me into a million tiny pieces and years later actually it turns out he was gay the whole time. He just really specifically didn’t like me. [Double kill.] Here I am, 13, crying to evanescence alone in my bedroom feeling like there’s no point in really being alive as I’m clearly a faulty outcast person that has no place in the world. I stopped going to church with my grandma because I felt like I wasn’t really supposed to be there. Also, by this age, the whole Christianity thing didn’t really make much sense to me. And the adult services were dry AF compared to coloring in a picture of Jesus’s face at Sunday school. So other than the free tea and biscuits they gave away after the sermon, religion didn’t really have much to offer me. Damn, there was some good biscuits though. I miss that. But wait! All is not lost yet. Do you see that? A triumphant, rallying cry of guitars, stripey hoodies, and black hair dye. Emo had arrived! I swear to God, emo is one of the best things that happened to pop culture in the last 20 years. As well as inventing eyeliner and skinny jeans, a new word hit the theater, nerd, goth, band, kid corner that would change my world forever.

Bisexual. You can be normal and gay at the same time and some people think it’s cool? Well, slap a long fingerless glove on my arm and sign me up to Myspace 'cause Mum, I’m bi. It was a good term 'cause it was a catchall for anyone who felt sexually confused or curious that didn’t want to commit to something stronger which is very me. Big commitment issues. Thanks, fam. To be clear, regardless of whatever the 2006 teenagers thoughts and feelings were, being bi is valid and should not be excused away or erased by anyone. Thank you.

From this moment, I was a loud and proud raving bi to my close friends and the strangers on the internet who saw my clearly-labeled sexual preference on my Myspace page. And the emo friends I made at this time were awesome. We just used to hang and make out with each other and listen to music and drink bottles of Smirnoff Ice until we were sick on each other with no judgment. The judgment came several years later looking back at the photos that you can’t delete. So I didn’t need to tell my family or people at school anything. But the thing is with a Myspace page, anyone with an internet connection can read it. And so the rumors started spreading through my neighborhood that Dan Howell was in fact a bisexual. I had a friend in French class who one day, totally unprompted, just turned to me and said, “Hmm, yeah, I thought so. You give off a bi-vibe.” A bi-vi-, what the fuck is a bi-vibe? Great, yeah, nothing to make a 15-year-old feel self-conscious about his behavior like being told he emanates a bisexual aura. What am I supposed to do with that? Sorry that I give off mixed signals. I’m versatile. Turns out it was actually a social upgrade from being called gay all the time 'cause bisexual was a new word that only referred to sexuality so people actually had to decide how they felt about the fact I was attracted to boys. As opposed to gay which as we all understand is synonymous with bad and also implies a general threat, plague, curse/evil force that simply must be destroyed. People at school were actually almost nice to me with curiosity about it and a few of the boys that previously loved to just generically call me gay while throwing a compasses at me or something, now started to low-key flirt with me and some stuff happened. Go figure.

But then I entered the dark ages and no I’m not talking about my hair because I was never actually cool enough to commit to dying it black. As quickly as they arrived into my life, my emo friend group vanished into the night. Like the tip of an eyeliner pencil snapping or the HTML on your intricately-crafted MySpace page falling apart when the host websites of your embedded gifs die, so, too, did my social life. One had to suddenly focus on school, another moved town, two of them just fell out with each other and started hanging out with their old friends again. Well, we don’t all have back up friend groups, Lindsey! I went all in on the emos! You’re telling me I have to go back to sitting in my kitchen playing Runescape now! Thanks a lot. So for a year I literally had no friends. And this is when the bullying at school really stepped its pussy up. The things people used to say offhand to me in a corridor were now said loudly in classrooms where everybody would laugh. People used to sing songs about me being gay on the bus while my fellow nerds sat around me just stared awkwardly out of the window not wanting to get involved. People shouted things out during GCSE exams in front of the whole school and the low key pushing became punches. People used to wait for me after school just to throw things at me. Once a guy put his hand around my throat and pushed my head against a coat peg in the locker room while everyone was watching and just slapped me for five minutes. But I never reacted. I never cried or got angry or fought back 'cause then I’d be giving them what they wanted and I refused to play along. But this way of dealing with things definitely had an impact on my relationship with emotion going into life. I became a total outcast. No one wanted to come near me out of fear that they’d get targeted, too. So no one ever stood up for me. And, you know, I don’t blame them. I just resent them even to this day. No, I’m kidding, I don’t really. I do. No, I don’t. I, hmm. Teachers at the time obviously did nothing. In fact, one of them saw this happening to me and laughed 'cause you know, boys will be boys especially the gay ones that get killed by the other ones, am I right? Ah, classic lad banter. And home. See, keeping this on the topic of sexuality and not economic class, violence, addiction, and health issues, let’s just say some shit was goin’ down. I didn’t think I could ask my family for help or share my feelings about this, mainly due to my dad. Funny guy, kind of a woke hippie who did and said a lot of things I did respect but at the same time used to walk around the house saying how he hoped someone he had a problem with at work would *clears throat* “die of bum cancer.” Yep, so picked the one area to be a bigot that would further traumatize your child. Nice! This experience coming from a childhood hearing the word gay meaninglessly thrown around as an insult at home and school, in music, on TV, to then realizing I am actually kinda gay, to then very specifically being attacked for it was traumatic. The world was clearly telling me if I ever wanted to be accepted by anyone or, in my particular environment, survive, I couldn’t be gay. I was afraid of it, literally homophobic of myself. I am talking Pavlov, sunken place, North Korea-level mind alteration that made me terrified of and repulsed by this part of me. This is called internalized oppression. It’s a real thing and it’s some real shit.

Chapter 3 – Internalized Oppression

From this moment I was no longer advertising myself as bi. No, BRB deleting that Myspace real quick, xD lemme get on that Bebo. “My Chemical Romance”? No, I’m listen to what’s this, N-Dubz? Jesus Christ. I go away for the summer break and come back to school quiet and serious and fully straight. *coughs* I needed me some new friends that were a bit higher up the social ladder, you know what I’m sayin’ for security so I go ahead and join “The Inbetweeners”. Literally this group of friends, the exact middle ground between nerds and desperately wanting to be cool. And oh how desperate we were. The great thing about these friends was they knew loads of girls. So firstly, instant cool points. Secondly, if I date a girl *scoffs* super not gay. The problem with that was it’s not like everyone just forgot everything that’s been said about me and this group of friends, casually homophobic pretty much all the time and also they hung out in places near some even more aggressive and super homophobic peeps. Just full-time Runescape would have been a better in hindsight. I find myself going through the same shit at school but now voluntarily going through it at the weekends from the people that are supposed to be my friends thinking I’m doing the right thing whilst constantly telling myself I’m now totally heterosexual. So I did what many people choose to do at that point and I got a girlfriend. But this is pretty messed up because I really liked this girl. In fact, I loved her as a friend and I was genuinely attracted to her but I was so afraid of sexuality I didn’t even wanna do anything straight in case I had some weird gay panic that I was totally frigid and I led her on. And when she got pissed at me, understandably, for being a terrible boyfriend, I just felt even worse. This was someone who I liked that I was hurting and lying to but I couldn’t leave as then I’d have no armor. Beautiful irony here is having a girlfriend didn’t in any way stop the abuse 'cause remember, gay is a great all-purpose general insult. (Call someone gay today and we’ll throw in a free set of steak knives.) And when these neighborhood teens started heavy drinking and getting into drugs, things suddenly got quite scary as people joked about setting fire to a tent as I slept in it at Reading Festival. Or saying, “You know that notoriously unstable guy? Yeah, he said he’s gonna kill you next Saturday.” Awkward.

This was definitely the lowest point in my life. I just felt totally alone, confused and I deeply hated myself. I used to ask God, in case he was there, to please, just make me straight and everyone stop. But I saw no end, no escape, no way to change the world or who I was. So one evening I thought fuck it and I attempted suicide.

I say attempted, because just before it was too late I thought

“oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit what have i done what have i done fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck?”

“what will your grandma think don’t do this to her she tried her best and she loves you”

“your family aren’t total dicks and this will fuck them up can’t you just get over it surely”

“you’re gonna get to the last year of school and give up now really what was the point”

“I heard this is one of the most painful ways to die so not a great choice if I’m being blunt”

Felt kinda bad for a few days otherwise I pretended it never happened and I didn’t tell anyone, until now, literally. Hmm, I know pretty dark right, but hey spoiler things kinda worked out. I mean still gotta lot of issues but here I am. I’m so glad I failed for so many reasons, for the people in my life, for the future I would’ve wasted. The most important being that I thought I was trapped in a situation forever when in reality, the entire world I lived in and my life changed completely. I thought it was hopeless when in reality there was so much to hope for and that’s it. Time changes everything. With the lives that we have, we can try anything we’ve dreamed of. I want anyone that’s ever felt like this to realize you are never trapped. There is always hope. You just need to believe in yourself and get to the other side. So yeah school age 6 to 18, I’m gonna give that a bad Google review. The thing is I did stand out. I’ve always been a loudmouth, class clown, annoying shit. Since graduating, it turns out half the people I knew were fuckin’ gay. That group of friends I had, all lovely people now. Five of them were gay, five gays! That is statistically irregular. Oh but they flew under the radar. All I’m saying is I wish people just hated me for being annoying and immature. Leave the gays alone!

My light at the end of the tunnel was university. I was gonna get my A levels move to a new town and ghost these bitches. But I took a gap year first to earn some money which was very boring sitting at home and working at ASDA where I was not happy to help. My shift started at 5 a.m. on a Saturday. Signed up for a Twitter account to run my mouth off and then bam. “So my name is [Dan].” My YouTube story begins, a new chapter of my life to redefine. So you know what I do? Get a Formspring because nothing gives you that attention feeling like one of those anonymous question and answer websites that are inherently toxic and no one should use. And straight out of the bat bisexual Dan returns. 'Cause hey, just like Myspace, I’m only telling a few people on the internet right now. It’s not like one day I’m gonna get so many followers that random strangers and my family might see it. Wow, I had a lot fun with many different kinds of people in 2009. Let’s just say I got a lot out of my system. Got a couple of things in my system, too. Sorry.

And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends but it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe. And the relationship we formed at that point was something that I needed in my life. We are real best friends, companions through life, like actual soulmates, not that souls are a real thing that exist. It’s so lucky to just find someone you can be that compatible with and especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self-hatred that I have dealt with, one person accepting you can make all the difference. And I bet so many people wanna know so much more about that which, honestly, I take as a compliment. But here’s the thing. I’m somebody that wants to keep the details of my personal life private. So is Phil. I know lots of people these days, thanks to social media, want to share and monetize every aspect of their life and then as soon as something changes suddenly it’s this huge drama because everybody got invested in the story of your life like it’s a soap opera. I don’t want that. I wanna do certain things without an audience. I wanna be spontaneous. I don’t wanna feel afraid to take risks. I want to enjoy totally fucking something up and not have to post a statement about it. And if anyone thinks people really have to share these things about their life, you need to rethink your position. And look, I understand that sex is a fun and interesting thing to talk about. I get it. I am also a disgusting pervert. But the specific minutiae of who I be fuckin’, when, why, where, how long, how, uhh, I mean? Sexuality is a general fact that it can be very useful to know about a person for several reasons, but we can’t force people to disclose that either. We don’t know this person’s life story, what they’ve been through, if they haven’t told people, if they’ll lose their job, if they’re in danger. There are so many reasons someone might not be open about it. We can preach the message that being out is good, but aggressively speculating or trying to out someone is really bad. They might not be gay, in which case we’re just harassing someone and probably stereotyping. And if they are there’s gonna be a reason why they haven’t talked about it. So I don’t wanna see any responses to me finally talking about this like no one is surprised. “Dan we been knew.” Wow, you huge galaxy brain genius. What’s it like walking around with all those brain cells in there working overtime? What, you got like three in there? Don’t lose your balance, mastermind. I haven’t exactly been subtle have I? I’m an awkward, sexually ambiguous nerd. “What the fuck even is your sexuality?” That’s not the point. I’m already dead inside so it doesn’t matter here, but to me if someone’s reaction to a person coming out is just, “yeah, I knew”, they’re showing no empathy towards the issue or that person. They’re just making it about themselves like it was a fun piece of gossip they already knew. All we have to do is listen and be accepting.

So anyway back to the tale. Whilst things were looking up for Dan aged 18, things quickly got messy again. Wow, that beats the emo streak of temporary self-acceptance by like six months, nice. There was a point around 2011 where the relationship with my audience shifted from what felt like direct communication between me and individuals that just saw me as a comedy creator to communities of people that formed to talk about me when I wasn’t there. Which is fine, but for some people it was about getting generally invested in me and my real life which I thought was a bit strange 'cause inevitably like anyone who puts themself out there, some people started to really dig into my private life to find out information about me that I wasn’t ready to share. And this was around the same time that YouTubers finally started to get mainstream recognition in the British press. We had the BBC knocking at our door trying to offer Dan and Phil a radio show. From that, Dan and Phil became this entertainment duo that we could have a creative career with. And we love working together, so when all these opportunities came for Dan and Phil, we were really excited but I was also scared as people clearly knew I wasn’t straight and I hadn’t told my family that. None of my old friends knew about this, and what me and Phil had was ours and personal and yet some people were trying to get access to it for their own satisfaction. It was no longer a few people on the internet, no big deal. So I just shut down. It felt like I was back at school again, surrounded by threatening people trying to expose me for their entertainment. Most I’m sure just wanted what was best for me and I feel such genuine sadness and am sorry that I couldn’t be closer to and more truthful with the people in my life that were just trying to be nice but I wasn’t ready to deal with it at this time so I had to do something to contain it. I definitely sent some mixed messages. Some were just joking around, others were super defensive that in my panic came across like “I’m now telling everyone I’m totally straight” when all I really meant was “please fuck off and don’t invade my privacy, you creepy stalkers, thank you”. But this experience seriously triggered some PTSD in me and I was back in the dark place. I didn’t want to just disappear from the internet to escape it and throw away this creative hobby that actually started paying rent. Thanks. So I just decided to put anything to do with my sexuality in a box to come back to later as I was still processing my past and I wanted to understand my identity on my own terms and timeline and not just have it hijacked as fuel for people’s sexual fantasies or some headline in an article. And whilst we’re not exactly living in a utopia yet here on YouTube, the general internet culture only five or six years ago was a much less wholesome, progressive place as this little bubble is now. Sure, a lot of people probably would have been supportive, but there was just as much open bigotry and general toxicity 'cause people felt less accountable and it was okay to say certain things 'cause it’s just on the internet and I couldn’t handle that at the time. And, generally, I can handle a lot. I have big hands with a very wide reach for playing piano, you fucking.. get your mind out of the gutter. We can’t ask people to just put their lives on hold to address their sexuality first. If a kid dreams of being a footballer and age 18 gets signed to a club and all their dreams come true but they’re scared to come out because of the insane homophobia in that community, they shouldn’t turn it down. Yes, it’s so important to be truthful about who you are and open and proud in front of the world but it’s our society’s fault that these people are scared to say who they are. So let’s all focus on making it a welcoming place and people will come out when they are ready. So when was I ready? Well, it’s always been on my mind that I need to talk about this at some point. I couldn’t just keep going forward in my life ignoring it, not only just so I can be authentic, which is very important for general existing, but also just letting people know what kind of sexual attention I want from the world. All of it from everyone. God I’m so thirsty. And if anything motivated me, it’s the idea that I can help someone else 'cause that’s basically my whole career, isn’t it, admitting to shit that I’ve been through so you will feel better about yourselves. There we go, you’re welcome. I have a platform and a following of millions of people, many of whom I know have been through exactly what I have. And if I tell my story as painful and flip floppy and flawed as it is, I know it will mean something to someone as every time someone speaks openly about sexuality, it saves lives. I’d never met a single out gay person until I was 18. And if I had, or even just seen better representation in the media, I wouldn’t have felt so totally alone. I wouldn’t even be saying this to you now if it wasn’t for TV shows, musicians, and public figures in the last couple years reinforcing this to me. It doesn’t matter if I was living the life privately as there was still so much confusion about my feelings and fear. But things are better now, on the internet, on TV, in my real life. It’s not perfect but it feels safe enough in this space right now for me to feel confident. So thank you, sincerely, to all the brave people that came before me and to any of you that made this world seem welcoming for me. And instead of procrastinating from this by focusing on work, which was a way for me to insure my own independence and survival in case I was rejected, or just doing things for other people to take my mind off it instead of asserting my own needs, which my therapist keeps telling me is one of my biggest problems. Here I am with a fresh void of time in front of me to fuck up however I want. Now look, we all have different experiences in life. Some of us are lucky, some of us not. It just so happened that the first 18 years of my life were horrendously shit. It failed me. But we get dealt cards from the start, too. If you look at my life, I was born into this world as an able-bodied, white, cis-man in Britain which immediately gives me so much privilege in this current world and I am fully aware of how much harder making it to today could have been for me, which is why we all need to stand up for equality and social justice even if it doesn’t apply to us. No one stood up for me when it mattered the most and that almost cost me everything. So if you see a woman being harassed, a gay being threatened, someone muttering something racist, say something, do something because if you’re still or silent, the victim will just think that you are against them, too. We all have a responsibility.

This tale was just some of the stuff relating to sexuality. We all have a whole sob story if we wanna tell it but I just wanted to explain the journey of how I got to this point and overcame the obstacles that tried to block this path. And now I’ve arrived.

Chapter 4 – Labels

Okay cool story, bro, it’s answer time. What’s your answer. Whaddayalikedafuk? Here’s the thing, you want me to talk candidly about sexuality as if it’s something that I understand? I don’t know what it is, why it is. Turns out no one knows. I’ve been sitting here for years waiting for scientists to just work it out like bleep bloop. [Oh this is why and exactly how it’s different for people. There we go.] Thinking I shouldn’t run off my mouth on the internet in case my theories and opinions on varying gayness get debunked next week. Well, I waited long enough and it didn’t happen. Science, ya fucked up, you let me down. And I fully expect to have to delete this video in two weeks when you find out all the answers suddenly. Thanks a bunch. What makes someone gay or straight or all the things in between? What the ever loving fuck is gender about? This is a mess. Yet people want you to give them a word because that’s how humans communicate with words that have meanings. Which is why our disgusting species is impatient, stupid, and obsessed with labels. And this applies to everything, sexuality, gender, political identity, what obscure genre of synthwave you listen to. People just want a label that represents something they understand so they already know how to feel about you and don’t have to bother thinking. [Oh you’re a feminist well I don’t need to know anything more. Oh you’re a leftist. Oh you’re a K-pop fan but but but but.] If people just want to find a way to disagree with you or dislike you, they can refer to the label and turn off their brains. Hey, what does my label say? Huh. The issue is, especially when we start talking about the writhing mass of confusion and suffering that is sexual and gender identity, the limits of language and specific terminology become a big problem. What does being gay mean? You never thought about a boob once? What does being a man mean? You wanna be an emotionless rock rubbing raw steaks against your biceps? It’s not like humanity is all in agreement right now. I don’t like the stereotypes and drama that come with all this terminology so I’m just not gonna use it. Thing is gender identity isn’t my issue. I feel comfortable with the identity that I’ve had my whole life. Dan, a tol boy from England. But being a man means nothing to me. I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable wearing makeup or a sickening pair of heels, though I can’t even draw in a straight line so that would be a disaster. Also is anyone really comfortable wearing heels? Hmm. Icons of masculinity aren’t really a big part of my life. Might as well call me a fucking formless blob that sounds more relatable. Shout out to all my formless blobs out there, rise up. I don’t have to do anything or be anything and I personally wouldn’t feel offended if I wasn’t referred to as a he. Well, she’s feeling hungry today. Stop fucking judging me, Susan. I’m sad and I’m gonna eat this whole damn cake whether you like it or not. But anyone that has this don’t really care attitude about their gender identity is in a way privileged 'cause some people, especially trans, care a lot about their gender identity and using the correct pronouns which other people should respect. Likewise with sexuality, whilst to me the endlessly increasing list of tribes and flags being flown is a bit daunting and confusing and personally stresses me out 'cause I almost find it constrictive, some people like it. Because if you’re feelings are confusing and then you look at a word that represents something and go, “wow, that me”, it can help you realize you’re valid and find a community and that’s great. There is so much controversy around this issue and others but if we all just calm down, respect each other’s experiences and try to just be nice, reasonable people, which is a lot to ask, let’s be real, it’s quite simple. If you wanna use language to express your honest feelings and identity, that’s great and other people should respect what you say. Likewise, if you hate labels and you just wanna be a formless blob, that’s fine, too. No one should force you. The only thing that isn’t cool is telling other people what they should or should not identify as 'cause that ain’t your problem or your business, bye. This was one of the things that held me back from talking about this for years. Shit’s confusing, man. Let’s just go back to cellular reproduction by mitosis so I don’t really have to be specific. Two people that I really look up to and respect, Harry Styles and Janelle Monae, both famously say that they don’t feel the need to label it which, to be honest, is how I feel and is perfectly okay. But I get it, for me, you want a word. Oh, that’s hard, though. I’m an annoying guy. I feel uncertain specifying my sexuality in the same way I wouldn’t say I am an atheist. Who the fuck am I to say whether God does or doesn’t exist? I don’t know shit 'bout shit and neither does anyone else. I mean I think it’s unlikely in the same way I know I like DICK. But I’m not gonna pretend to have a definite answer here. Looking at my public statements is inconsistent and confusing. Looking at my personal track record through life is super confusing. And looking at the void inside my soul threatening to crush the entire universe with the force of its event horizon of misery and melodrama, well, fuck let’s close that shit up. One thing’s for sure whatever heterosexual is, I ain’t it. Really if you ask me, I don’t think anyone’s totally straight. I think there’s a lot of social and emotional issues getting in the way of yet to be understood feelings of attraction that can be very flexible. And trust me, I’ve known a lot of straight guys until a couple of drinks, some deep conversation, and lingering eye contact, and suddenly they just start leaning in. What does that make them? And am I totally gay? No. Am I slightly more gay or is it just easier for gays to hook up with each other because of societal norms. It’s not like the signs for male and female bathrooms are what I’m attracted to. I don’t care what flesh organ you have between your legs, what your hair’s like, if you’re covered in it or a fuckin’ beluga whale. I’m gonna be honest, I’m not picky. I’m easy. So am I bi or pan or poly? Well, now we’re just in a clusterfuck of defining language and I’m confused and sad and horny. This is why I personally love the word queer. I understand that some people don’t as it is a slur but as someone that’s been the target of it several times throughout my life I’m up for some reclamation. It’s like recycling. The definition makes sense because until society is equal with all sexual and gender identifies, it is literally strange from a conventional viewpoint plus it’s better than a super long acronym, it’s inclusive of everyone and therefore great for formless blobs. There we go, an identity I feel comfortable with. A highly-strung, depressed queer praying for a giant meteor to hurry up and finally eradicate humanity. LMAO, yeet!

But to come full circle, I know that even today, deep in my heart the word gay scares me because that’s how I’ve been conditioned my whole life. So, you know what? Fuck the literal definition and the scientific definition and what everyone thinks. I finally have to just confront and accept this.

I’m gay.

Oh look, didn’t spontaneously fucking combust. Well, there we go, that was a lot of stress about nothing, wasn’t it? Bloody hell. So yup, I’m here, I’m queer, and don’t worry I’m still filled with existential fear.

WE’RE HERE, WE’RE QUEER WE’RE FILLED WITH EXISTENTIAL FEAR.

Chapter 5 – Fear

Even though I’m at this current place, there is still so much I’m afraid of and this has taken months to make because of that. Telling my family was a big fear. I have problems connecting with them emotionally because reasons. So I only came out to them this month and if it didn’t go well, as I’m now the independent adult that I fought so hard to be, I was ready to cut them off like the bottom of a sweater turning into a seasonal crop. But I didn’t have to, love you. I didn’t think they’d reject me these days but coming out is still a surprise. It changes things. And I’m a pretty awkward person generally but the idea of just dropping this in conversation in front of them all terrified me. And I tried several times this year to do it but I just couldn’t. So you know how I finally came out to my family? E-mail. Yep, I literally just sent them an e-mail saying and I quote,

“Hello gang. I’ve been meaning to talk to you all for a while, something quite important that should be disclosed at some point. I thought I would around Christmas, then Mum’s birthday, then last Easter Sunday, etc., but every time I meant to, I either felt like I would ruin the mood of the day or I just felt awkward and didn’t want to. So I decided just to email you all instead which is really inappropriate and just weird but that somehow seems appropriate for me and at least I’ll just finally say it.

Basically I’m gay.”

Yup. It was just getting ridiculous so I thought screw it and hey, it worked. Turns out my remaining family, pretty chill bunch of people. Even my Christian grandma said this,

“We love you for being you. It must be a great relief to finally acknowledge who you are. Popsie and I just want you to be happy. People are born as they are and have no say in it. I hope that now you will feel free to live your life as you want with no pretense.”

Aw.

“Don’t forget the iPad.”

Yes, I said I’d give her my old iPad. She mainly cares about that I thing. Wasn’t so sure when I was 17 but it went well now and I know that makes me lucky but, hey, it shows that times change. As for the other people in my life, obviously all the friends I have now are cool. If anyone in my life I’ve ever known isn’t cool with it then I don’t care. And sure here online there might be a few incredibly lost bigots following me or just some classic trolls who I think should get fucked. No, like literally, I think you should try it. You’ll probably enjoy it and you might learn something about yourself. Inevitably some of you watching this might have a weird reaction if you just feel like it was a shock or you feel hurt that I kept it from you. But I feel like I explained myself reasonably here and going forward I can’t have any space for that, sorry. I’ve come to terms with who I am and now you have to, too, ha. Funnily enough straight up homophobia is probably the one thing I’m not that afraid of, because I just don’t agree so it doesn’t hold much emotional power over me but you bet I’m opening myself up to all new kinds of in real life and international discrimination now which is fun. But one of the other big fears holding me back was, honestly, that I wouldn’t be accepted by the community. I know that it’s a big pride flag covering a lot of ground and even the idea of it and certainly most of it is amazing. But there is a lot of drama within it right now especially on the internet. You’ve got Grindr gays arguing about how manly gays should be, bi’s getting ignored, trans people, especially of color, not being historically appreciated, acephobia, fucking SWERFs and TERFs. No thank you. So even though they are my people, I know some of them will have problems with something. And even then, just seeing such a loud and proud, strong and opinionated group of people celebrating something just intimidates a smol introvert such as myself. And in my mind if these people don’t accept me because I’m not being definitive enough or I took too long then I almost feel like I’ll be alone all over again, and this is a fear that a lot of people have honestly. But I’m a nice guy and I’m trying my best so you better be welcoming, you bunch of fuckin’ queers. And obviously with the topic of sexuality, it doesn’t matter where we are or how far you think we’ve come, by merely mentioning it, I will be opening up a primordial box of bullshit which will include every single stupid argument and question since the dawn of time. [It’s not natural.] There’s gay animals. [Adam and Steve.] That’s based on a story and the protagonist that arrives later probably doesn’t agree with you. [Why can’t we have straight pride?] I could spend 10 hours on all the classic crap and people would still be asking the same things. This being posted on the internet, my hopes are so incredibly low, lower than my self-esteem. Wow, that is unhealthy. I need to stop doing that. This video is about internalized oppression and the problems of language. I’m not here to pontificate on every topic tangentially related to the entire concept of gayness. *ASMR voice*: Pontificate on every topic tangentially related to the concept of gayness.

There’s other humans and all the time in the world left for that. The time in the world coincidentally being not much longer. Climate change LMAO. But I had to tell my story so people would understand me and these things. Why coming out is still a big deal because queer people are often invisible and suffering until they have to do it. Some people grow up in supportive environments and it’s a positive experience. But more likely, especially around the world outside of the big cities, it isn’t. This is not a fight that is anywhere near over. Even in Britain today people are debating whether children should be taught to be accepting of sexual and gender identity in school.

Queer people exist. Choosing not to accept them is not an option.

To anyone watching this that isn’t out, it’s okay. You’re okay. You were born this way, it’s right, and anyone that has a problem with it is wrong. Based on your circumstance, you might not feel ready to tell people yet or that it’s safe and that’s fine, too. Just know that living your truth, with pride, is the way to be happy. You are valid. It gets so much better. And the future is clear. It’s pretty queer.

So there we go. Now I can proceed authentically in my life with full disclosure. Cute mutuals know to slide into the DMs. And you can all fuck off and leave me alone.

Bye.

#basically i'm gay #daniel howell #danielhowell #dan and phil #amazingphil #phil lester #yes im tagging i dont care #if there's a flaw somewhere (like a missed part or sm) dm me so i could fix it #id go through it again anyway but just in case #oh and it's literally just dan's substitles so all credits to him or whoever did that #hmm i wonder if they hired someone. interesting #have fun #the script

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milkcartonbastard · 5 years

Text

Buttercups and Geraniums

Fandoms- My Babysitter's a Vampire (Benny x Reader)

Warnings- Violence. Language warning.

Request- "...could you write something for Benny Weir? Maybe something where they are rivals or something where both aren't really nice to each other and somehow get close and ends fluffy?" Why yes, I can. Thank you for requesting, I hope you enjoy!

~~~

You were epically pissed at Benny Weir. You had been for months, but it had come to a climax recently and you were honestly beginning to loathe him. First, he'd managed to give you a foxtail. You didn't even know he had magic until then, you had believed you were the only witch at school. It was surprising that Benny Weir of all people was since you didn't understand how he'd managed to keep it a secret for so long. Second, one of his spells- yeah, there was going to be a reoccurring theme here- had managed to cause all of your hair to fall out. You had no fucking clue what he was trying to do in the first place, but you were sure that hair removal wasn't it.

You'd been hit by a lot of bad spells over the years, most of them your own, but you'd never once accidentally performed divination. Benny had tried to tell you what he'd been trying to do, but whatever it was never stuck in your mind. Especially, since you had been turned into an actual fox. His grandmother had to reverse that spell. Needless to say, you and Evelyn had not been happy. You'd coughed up fur for a week after that...

So now you were sending passive-aggressive messages to him.

You'd shown up to school about fifteen minutes early. Everyone usually tumbled in at five minutes before the bell, which meant your quick spell wouldn't be seen by anyone. Benny's locker was neat, which was a huge contrast to his personality, and it reeked of cologne. He didn't even wear cologne. You knew that because he always smelled like magic.

Magic had a very distinctive odor, which was mostly like a dewy forest with freshly tilled dirt. You loved magic, the smell, the feeling, the preparation. You were particularly strong, but that wasn't uncommon in the community. You were happy to have your ability, thank you very much.

You mumbled some words, just in case anyone overheard. The four books in his locker shot against the top of the metal container. You tugged against them, but they were attached like they had been welded against the metal. You smiled a little, before placing the flowers and note in his locker. You flipped your middle finger up in the air, so whenever Ethan touched the objects and saw this moment, he'd receive your message for him, too.

You had tied up a small bouquet- buttercups and geraniums- for Benny and his grandma. The message of the flowers was for Benny, but the pretty colors and sprigs of sage were for his grandma. Buttercups meant the receiver was childish and immature. Geraniums meant the receiver was stupid and ignorant. Two flowers that represented Benny Weir very well. The note explained it well, so there wouldn't be any confusion on his side.

You knew he would understand it without the card, though. He was smart enough to decipher the message without your help. He'd always been clever. You shut the locker at the clenching of your stomach. You didn't hate Benny. You couldn't. He was too cute and brave for that.

You mentally gagged.

You had been fighting off your crush on him since seventh grade. Recently, it was getting easier. Especially when he was hitting you with rogue and malfunctioning spells. You groaned and rubbed your temples. You didn't need to worry about a boy, you needed to worry about the Calculus test you had to take in twenty minutes. You sighed and continued toward your class.

~~~

You were sat at your lunch table, nibbling on whatever the lunch ladies had plopped onto your tray. You were engrossed in this new book you had started. It had an odd combination of creatures in it. There were vampire-ish characters called Dark Hunters, demons, mermen, human voodoo dolls, witches, Seraphim, and even pirates. Even with the motley cast of characters, their dynamics were incredible and extremely vivid.

A quick burst of movement tore your attention away from your book. Nobody around you seemed to notice anything weird, so they all just continued with their conversations. Not even a slight difference in the room appeared to any of your classmates. It said a lot for their senses of danger.

Sitting on your lunch table, one you shared with a bunch of other kids who preferred to study and read over socialization, was a humongous, black, bird. It was a raven that towered above the people sitting with you. Its beak was sharp and a glistening black and its eyes were the color of nothing. You tried to contain your gasp when it cocked its head at you.

A deep, guttural, squawk poured from the bird's belly. Just as suddenly as it appeared, a burst of blue flame erupted and enveloped the midnight feathers and nothing eyes of the bird. As the last bit of feathers burned away- you felt your skin boil near your wrist. You jerked your hand away from the table, just in time to see black lettering appear across your wrist. The lettering was a dark, scarlet, red and was facing you. It was a Latin word- you knew that much. You were pretty sure it meant 'claimed', but you could have been wrong.

"Y/n, are you alright?" Malia Harrington, who had sat at the 'nerd' table with you since high-school started, looked up from her book. She was staring at you curiously. One of her hands was hidden beneath her book and she looked close to closing it. She looked concerned, but there was something strange flickering in her whiskey-colored eyes. It was almost like an emotion, but you couldn't tell what it was. You nodded your head and dropped your hand. You let the now tattooed part rest against your thigh, so Malia couldn't see the message.

"Yeah, I just- pinched myself on the table. Just wasn't paying much attention, I suppose!" You forced a shitty laugh out, just waiting for more questions to come towards you. Luckily enough, she seemed to buy it- or just didn't care enough- and went back to her book. You quietly excused yourself from the lunch table and discarded your tray.

You had gotten cursed. A big, fat, ugly, curse had been smacked against your left wrist. You weren't sure what kind of curse yet, but you would figure that out as soon as you got to your spellbook in your locker. You didn't know of anyone who would want to curse you or anyone stupid enough perform such a tedious ritual.

You were slowing down, the floor seeming to sway under your feet. Your skin was beginning to get hot again like you'd been baking in the sun. A fever. You cursed softly, having to steady yourself against a nearby locker. You weren't too far from the water fountain, so you stopped for a quick sip. It seemed to perk you up a little and you continued forward.

Your physical state was wavering, the curse was starting to make you sick. You scanned your brain- running thousands of scenarios through your mind. Most symptoms would explain the type of magic used in the curse- which would also explain the severity. Mirror magic wouldn't be so hard to counteract, candle magic would be a little bit more difficult, but not so bad. You were just pleading with whatever God or Fate-bearer out there that it wouldn't be a difficult curse to remove. The bird that had appeared had died in the spell, which wasn't too comforting. Was that what was going to happen to you?

~~~

Benny was standing at his locker when you managed to drag yourself further through the school. He was wearing a striped shirt that reminded you of a grunge Freddy Kruger. Benny also wore a pair of plain jeans and his stupid crossbody satchel. His head was ducked low and he was talking to Ethan beside his locker. Ethan looked around, like whatever they were talking about was serious. Ethan's eyes met yours and they widened.

Pieces clicked together.

'Who was stupid enough to perform such a tedious ritual?' you had asked. You only knew one idiot and he had a bad reputation of spells backfiring.

In a blink of an eye- you had Benny pinned to his locker and was glaring up at him. He yelped ungraciously and started trying to push you off him. You felt some unnamable emotion in your gut. Why would Benny curse you? Sure, you didn't think he liked you back, but you certainly didn't think he hated you enough to curse you.

"You cursed me?! When are you going to learn to stop fucking-" You cut yourself off. On his wrist, the same dark, crimson, writing was slapped across his pale skin like a label. It was in the same position as yours and you released your grip on him. He was frowning down at you and fixing his now-messy shirt.

"I didn't curse you! We thought you did this to us." You looked at his face, noticing red, blotchy spots on his cheeks and neck. His normally bright eyes were duller now. You felt your stomach curl up. He thought you had cursed them? Who was them?

Your gaze traveled to Ethan, noticing the blotchy patches on his face as well. From the heat rising in your cheeks and neck, you assumed you looked similar. Ethan held his left arm up, and sure enough, a replica of your marking was stamped upon his skin.

"You said curse? Benny was talking about that, too. How bad is it?" Ethan asked. Benny huffed, clearly upset that Ethan was asking you about magic-included situations. You felt a flush settle under your skin.

"Did you guys see the bird, too? Or did you see something else?" A quick description of the raven was given and the boys nodded their heads. They'd had the very same experience. "I'm not sure about the important information. I was on my way to my locker to get my spellbook, but I'm sluggish."

Benny opened his mouth to speak again when something going incredibly fast slammed into the lockers near the three of you. You jumped, trying to keep your scream behind your tongue. Sarah Fox bounced off the lockers and onto the cold floor. She groaned loudly, rolling onto her left side and nursing her right arm. Ethan and you moved to help her up. She wasn't exactly heavy, but her skin was so cold it almost burned. You jerked your hand away, but Ethan's hand had clenched down and he'd stiffened up.

Sarah's fangs lashed out at the empty air in front of her and she clapped her hand over her mouth. She looked worse than the three of you, by far. But it was mostly because of the blood vessels in her face. They were blue and black under her dark skin, creating a spider's web look in her cheeks. Her eyes were gold, unable to change back. She cursed softly but was cut off by another hiss. You grabbed the arm Ethan didn't have ahold of, showing Benny the same marking you all had. He cursed softly and the two of you turned your arms for her to see.

Ethan's white eyes returned to brown, but only for a second. You watched his eyes roll up into the back of his head. His knees buckled and Benny surged forward and grabbed him. Ethan didn't stand back up, but instead, he collapsed in Benny's arms. He was completely unconscious and Benny let him gently rest on the floor.

"What is going on?" Sarah stopped hissing, but she still looked the same. Some students started walking into the hall, so you pulled the hood of her jacket over her head. She tilted her face towards the ground and the other students didn't stop walking. "I saw this freaky bird on my chemistry table and it caught on fire. Then my arm started to burn."

"We've been cursed. We have no idea who or how they did it. We're on our way to Y/n's locker to get her spellbook." Benny kicked Ethan's side gently, but he didn't stir. His breathing didn't change but just stayed steady. Soon enough, two more people rounded the corner. One had a hood over his head and the other left her blonde hair dangling in front of her face. Erica and Rory.

"Guys, I think Rory and Erica got cursed, too. Look, they look like Sarah." You jerked your chin in their direction and they jogged over. Sarah must not have known what she looked like, because her hand shot up to her cheeks and she recoiled.

"What's wrong with Ethan?" Rory asked. His voice sounded stuffy, which meant his fangs were out, too. Something was affecting the vampire's appearance, but Sarah looked the worst of the three. Her inky veins were dark and prominent, the ones on Erica and Rory were faint.

Your gaze flickered back to Ethan. His nose was starting to bleed, but the blood was black instead of red. You gasped and crouched beside Ethan. You were hit with a wave of dizziness, but you shook it off. Nobody else was bleeding, except for Ethan. Why?

He'd used his ability- sure he didn't mean to- but he'd touched Sarah and got a vision from her. And Sarah looked worse than Rory and Erica because she's used her vampire speed to find them, instead of just walking. You swore again and wiped Ethan's black blood away with your sleeve. He gave a soft groan and tried to roll onto his side. Benny started trying to help him stand up, but Ethan wasn't exactly conscious yet.

"Don't use your abilities! No running, no strength, no mind-control, no visions!" Your eyes widened and you looked up to Benny. He looked vulnerable like he was thinking very hard and trying to come up with an idea. His forehead creased slightly when Ethan pushed his hand away from his nose. He started to sit up though, smacking his lips and licking them. He was thirsty and Benny got the message.

Benny held his hand up and was about to snap his fingers when you grabbed his hand. You ignored the warmth of his skin under your palm. "That means no magic. The curse's speed just increases and we get weaker. Don't use your magic, Benny."

Pieces clicked.

The color of the blood. The use of abilities increased damage and speed. Fatigue and fever.

"It's a Death Curse. Someone's used Blood Magic to curse us. They're trying to kill us and using our magic and abilities will speed it up." You stood back up and saw Benny going to grab Ethan again. "Don't touch him!"

Benny pulled his hands away, but he stayed crouched down. You grabbed his arm and hauled him up. He pushed your hand off of him. "We can't risk giving him another vision. We don't know if there's a certain number of times before it kills him."

Benny's eyes widened, his blotchy cheeks making him look younger than he was. He took a step away from his best friend. "You heard Y/n. Nobody touches Ethan!"

"How are we going to get him out of the hallway? The bell rings in eleven minutes. People can't see us like this, guys." Sarah bit back another hiss and started to shift her weight from foot to foot.

"He only has visions when he touches our skin, right? So what if we don't touch his skin?" Rory asked. Benny nodded and started looking around the hallway.

"Madison Fields is in the gardening club, right? Cause I have an idea." Benny walked across the hall to a random locker. He opened it- people without locks on their lockers are just too trusting- and started going through the contents. Soon enough, he pulled two sets of gloves out of a small bag at the bottom of the locker. He pulled a pair of gardening gloves on and hurried over to Ethan.

Benny put the second pair of gloves on his best friend and pulled his sleeves down and over the tips of his fingers. Finally, he tugged Ethan's hood over his head and pulled the strings of his hoodie together and tied them.

"What was the point of that?" Erica asked. She glanced up at the clock and back to the scene before her. You understood, so you hooked one Ethan's arms around your shoulders and helped Benny stand him up.

"We can't touch his skin now, so he can't get a vision. Let's go, I think Grandma can help us."

~~~

Benny's grandma took one look at the six of you and started chanting in Latin. It wasn't exactly a comforting thing to see an Earth Priestess doing as soon as she laid eyes upon you, but you were assuming it was necessary, given the fact black blood was drying on Ethan's upper lip and Sarah looked like a demon.

"Grandma, can you please help us?" The six of you had managed to shove yourself into Sarah's car and get to Benny's house before Ethan had gained much more consciousness. It must have been a Hell of a vision and taken a lot of energy from him for the curse to hit him that hard. Evelyn nodded her head, but she locked the screen door for good measure. Ethan whimpered softly, resting his hood-covered head on your shoulder. You jerked your shoulder and he repositioned his head to rest on Benny's shoulder.

"How long ago did this happen?" Evelyn asked.

"Thirty minutes ago. Sarah and Ethan need help, Grandma. Please?" Benny got a slight pitch to his voice, almost like he was scared she wouldn't help. She eyed him, almost like she was trying to see through him. The screen door opened and she held it open for the six of you to trudge through the door.

"Don't touch anything. I've got just the thing to help!" Evelyn shut and locked the door to her house again. She snapped her fingers and an ornate box with green writing appeared in her hands. She popped the lock on the box and pulled out two bars of soap.

"You're making us wash our hands?" Erica asked. Her fangs lashed out and she clapped her hand over her mouth. Evelyn shook her head before tossing a soap bar to Sarah and Rory. Sarah caught it, but it hit Rory in the face completely.

"Close. I'm making you wash your bodies. There are two showers. Split up into groups of two and make sure you wash your skin good. Pay close attention to behind the ears, the face, and above the heart. Those are the most affected places when it comes to curses. Go on!" Evelyn shooed you, Erica, and Sarah towards the downstairs bathroom and motioned for the three boys to head upstairs.

"Let Sarah go first. She needs it more." You said. Erica nodded and the two of you turned your backs while she got into the shower. The water started and the curtain was pulled shut. Erica sighed and sat on the floor, resting her head against the wall. You joined her on the floor and tried not to pass out. Your head was throbbing and the heat that seemed to raise the hair on the back of your neck seemed to become unbearable. All you needed was to start coughing and this would be the worst case of the flu you'd ever had.

"So how come you're cursed, too? You're not one of the frequents of this little nerd-pack." Erica asked. Her fangs were resting on her bottom lip and her eyes were still glowing. She hissed slightly and rolled her eyes. You could see Sarah's outline in the shower curtain; She was scrubbing her skin vigorously.

"I have no clue. At first, I thought Benny did this to me, but it turns out it's somebody else's fault." You scoffed. Erica looked amused, but she closed her eyes and continued to lean against the wall. "This happens a lot, then?"

Erica nodded drowsily. Steam was filling the bathroom slowly, so you clicked the overhead vent on. You rested against the wall for a while, with your eyes shut and the steady sound of running water lulling you to sleep. Erica hopped into the shower next, so you continued to sit where you were. Sarah's skin had returned to its normal coloring- no black veins or paled features. Her eyes were still a bright gold and her fangs were on display, but she looked healthier.

"Evelyn's magic-soap does the trick. I feel so much better, but I'm so hungry. But not for blood? It's like-" Sarah gripped the sink basin when her legs wobbled underneath her violently. You sat up, watching her regain her balance. "It's like my blood sugar is dropping almost. Like I need real food. Human food."

"You shouldn't ever crave that. Whenever you turn, human food has no taste after that. No appeal to vampires." You stood up and guided Sarah to sit on the lidded toilet. She patted your hand after she settled. "I think it's the curse."

"What the fuck?!" Erica cursed from inside of the shower, the water stopped abruptly and Erica's arm shot out from behind the curtain and she started smacking things off of the top of a shelf. Sarah quickly handed her the towel she was looking for. Erica jerked the curtain back after she secured the towel around herself.

"Erica... what's wrong?" Sarah asked. Erica was squinting hard and her eyes were their normal pale blue. She was gasping softly and holding her hands in front of her eyes.

"My vision- it's blurry. I think-" You watched tears well into her eyes. "I think I need my glasses again."

"You two are becoming human again. It's part of the curse- It's taking your powers!" Your eyes widened and you looked down at your hands. You closed your eyes and focused on the magic coursing through your veins. It was a constant feeling, that of a warm liquid trickling from your core outward. It was a comfort to you, something you always focused on when you were scared or overwhelmed- the strong and powerful feeling of magic inside of your veins.

It was so much weaker. You cursed loudly and started pulling your shirt over your head. Erica handed you the soap and got out of your way. You were undressed and under the spray of water in less than thirty seconds. You rolled the bar in between your hands, making the soap thicken and spill over your skin.

"If truly I am cursed today, let the water wash the hex away. If truly I am cursed today, let the water wash the hex away. IftrulyIamcursedtodayletwaterwashthehexaway. IftrulyIamcursedtodayletwaterwashthehexaway-" You continued to chant the words, each time with more meaning. It was very simple magic, water magic, so you were hoping you weren't increasing the curse's speed while doing it.

"What's going on? What are you doing?" Sarah asked from the other side of the curtain. You growled and continued scrubbing your skin red with the soap bar in your palm. Soap-suds were rising off of the shower floor and swirling around you. You watched your veins flash to black quickly and you stopped automatically. The suds didn't drop to the bottom of the shower again but slowly slid down your body. Your skin returned to normal and your dizziness went away.

"Nothing that worked. I just really hope Evelyn's soap works better than that chant did." You rinsed the soap off and stopped the water. You dried off and got dressed, the two girls turning their backs to give you privacy. You wondered why they stayed with you, but you saw Sarah's quivering legs and realized you needed to help her into the kitchen. You did and returned Evelyn's soap. She had you throw it in the bin, never once going to touch it.

The boys were sitting at the table waiting for the three of you. You helped Sarah sit down and she gave you a grateful smile. Ethan's hand extended across the table before he remembered he wasn't allowed to touch anyone, so he quickly gave her a thumbs up.

"What now?" Rory asked. Evelyn placed a sandwich in front of Sarah and watched as the teen vampire gobbled it down without much hesitation. Benny made a face.

"She's not even supposed to eat human food. What's going on?"

Grandma Weir grabbed something out of a drawer and hid it behind her back. "Hold out your hands. Palms up and in a straight line."

The six of you did what you were told. Pressing the sides of your hands together with your palms facing up. You were about to ask her what the point of this was when a knife slashed across your palms at lightning speed. You bit back a curse, trying to spare your swears from Evelyn's ears.

"Wha- Grandma!" Benny curled his hands to his chest and nursed them. Erica went to lick the blood off of your hands but stopped when she saw the dark grey color. You all shared the same color of blood. It wasn't as dark as Ethan or Sarah's had been earlier, but it wasn't healthy.

"Just like I thought. My magic soap helped some, but the curse is strong. It's draining your life forces. Which means your magic. And your souls..." Evelyn cast a sad look at the vampires. Your eyes snapped to meet hers.

"How do we fix it? Every spell has a reversal. Some curses are the same way." Your jaw clenched and you took a deep breath. You would be damned if you were going to cry. That wasn't going to get you anywhere. "Tell me this is one of them."

"It is, but it's not a pretty one." Evelyn walked to the head of the table while the six of you wrapped your hands in paper towels. She ruffled her grandson's damp hair and avoided eye-contact. Your stomach shriveled, but you kept your brave façade up.

"The six of you will have to work together to find the spell-caster responsible. The curse can only be undone when they are dead. Only then." Evelyn's hand paused in Benny's hair and dropped to the table. She pulled a chair out and sat beside you all.

"That's not bad. We take out bad-guys, like, once a week." Erica scoffed and started to push back from the table. "I'll personally rip their throat out with my teeth- I can't see without my glasses again and I refuse to tell my mom I threw out my inhaler at the beginning of the year."

"It's not that simple. The spell-caster is stealing your life force and adding it to their own. They won't be at their strongest until after you all are dead, but they certainly won't be weak. They're already strong- if the intensity of this spell has anything to say about it." Evelyn pursed her lips before she continued. "I dare to say they'll be unstoppable if they claim your lives. Way beyond anything I can, nor anyone I know, can fix."

"So we have to stop them. It's us or nobody, huh?" The side of Benny's mouth quirked up. Hew had a determined expression on his face, one that you'd never seen his dorky face take on before. The gears behind his eyes were turning and, for once, he didn't look like a dumbass. You fought back the flush that washed over your body. Sarah looked over at you for a second but went back to her sandwich. You tried to play off the blush you knew covered your cheeks, so you directed your attention back to the matter at hand.

"How long do you think we have?"

"Hard to say, but finding and ending this tonight would be my best guess for your survival." Evelyn breathed out raggedly and you looked away. If you saw a single tear in her eyes, you were sure that you would become a sobbing mess.

"Thank you, Benny's Grandma." Rory smiled from the opposite of her and she rolled her eyes playfully. She stood up and left the room, but you could tell by the stoop of her shoulders she was holding in her emotions. Oh, this was that bad then, huh?

"There are tons of people in Whitechapel! How are we supposed to find the one responsible for this?!" Sarah pinched the bridge of her nose, trying not to scream out in frustration.

"Yeah, it's like a needle in a haystack, but we're all blind idiots allergic to hay." Ethan dropped his head against the table but quickly sat back up. "But I guess having a Seer for a friend is a blessing, huh?"

"No! You cannot have another vision! It's too dangerous, Ethan." Benny was shaking his head wildly, sending droplets of water onto the surface of the table. He looked a little bit like an overactive saint bernard puppy after a bath.

"It can't hurt me if I already had the vision! Remember? I had it at school, right before I collapsed!" Ethan scrambled out of his chair but had to steady himself before he could move any farther through the kitchen. He found a piece of paper and a pencil and shut his eyes tightly.

"Well, what did you see?" Rory rose from his seat to get a better look at the piece of paper Ethan was drawing on. Erica grabbed onto his shirt and yanked him back into his seat.

"He's trying to show us. Be patient." Rory lowered his head like a scolded child. The pencil was flying across the paper, without Ethan even looking at the paper. He was done in about a minute and opened his eyes to look at the paper. He nodded his head and smacked the paper down onto the kitchen table you were all sat around.

"This is what the ingredients that were used in the curse was kept in. A backpack, which means the person is a student and goes to our school." Ethan looked at the paper again, but this time his shoulders sagged. "Which means we have to kill one of our classmates."

"I hope it's Milo Miller. He gets on my nerves." Erica reclined in her chair and squinted at the paper. She was far-sighted, but you doubted that she could see the drawing.

It was of a backpack with those decorative pins from shows and movies on it. You saw a Daredevil and Doctor Who pin side by side. There were other pins there, but they were just meanless logos to you. Meanless, but extremely familiar.

"I know that bag! I see it just about every day. It is a dark green color, right?" You demanded. Ethan nodded his head, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"So you know who this person is? You know who cursed us?!" Sarah exclaimed. She went to grab Ethan's arm in excitement, but Benny grabbed her hand before she made contact with the Seer's skin. Ethan pulled his hoodie sleeves over his hand and his hood over his head. He took a step back from everyone as they crowded around you.

"Yeah! Her name's- her name is Malia Harington. She sits with me at lunch every day. She's been in school with us since the fifth grade." You looked down at your hands. Why had she cursed you? You'd never done anything to her. You hadn't interacted with her that much, now that you thought about it. "She was with me today when it happened. She asked me if I was alright after I jumped out of my seat."

"Malia? She's in my chemistry class! She asked to borrow a pencil from me today." Sarah was staring at the sketch of the backpack while she talked. The others looked around in bewilderment.

"She did the same thing to me! She even gave me my pencil back after class, the bitch!" Erica exclaimed. Her fangs snapped at the empty air and she growled in annoyance.

"Me, too!"

"And me!"

"So that's how she cursed us? She made contact with us when we were in class and what? She touched our skin and bam! we're doomed?" Ethan shook his head, lost deep in thought.

"No, she would have to put something on us. Something physical for us to have on our persons. Like a hex bag or-" Benny cut you off while you were gesturing around the room, hoping for another example to pop into your head.

"Like a small string inside of a mechanical pencil!" Benny exclaimed and rushed for his backpack by the entrance of the house. He came back with his lead pencil in hand. He pulled the eraser from the top and dumped the lead onto the table. Three small pieces of lead fell onto the table and one silver threading needle. A dot of red was solidified like wax at the end of the needle, almost like it was going to drop off the tip at any moment. It didn't.

"That sneaky witch."

"Good thing I know she has band practice after school. She's always the last one to leave, even after the teacher." Rory spoke up from the side of the table.

"Why do you know that?"

"Because Vampire Ninja knows all!" Rory waved his hand in front of his face, accidentally hitting himself in one eye. "I need my glasses. My depth perception is off..."

"Guess this means we need to go catch us a witch, huh?" Benny asked. The five of you nodded your heads in response. You worried your bottom lip but stood along with the rest of them.

~~~

You had been taking out bad guys- the weekly big bads as Erica put it- for a while. You usually did it solo and the problem was taken care of quickly. It was a lot easier that way. No one but you could get hurt, you only had to watch out for yourself. You were careful regardless.

Whitechapel High was deserted. The lights in all of the rooms were switched off and the doors were all locked from the outside. You cursed and raised your hand to open it with a little magical assistance when Sarah's hand pushed yours down.

"No magic. Remember?" Sarah tucked your hand into your hoodie pocket. You pulled it back out and crossed your arms.

"How are we supposed to get in then? I doubt anyone here knows how to pick a lock!"

"I can. Give me a minute." Ethan crouched down to the main door and pulled two pieces of metal out of his pocket.

"Where did you learn to pick a lock?" Erica watched in confusion as Ethan wiggled the pick in the lock while keeping the other steady. Benny stood proudly beside his best friend.

"Skyrim."

"There is no way you learned how to pick a lock from Skyrim."

When the statement left your mouth, an audible click resonated from the lock. Ethan pushed on the door and it swung open. Benny and Rory took turns high-fiving his gloved hands. You, Sarah, and Erica watched the three dorks off to the side.

"Let's hurry this up, I've got places to be." Erica sashayed into the school building. You saw her narrowly miss the doorframe and wondered if she was getting dizzy. Your head was starting to hurt again like you needed to eat, but you weren't hungry.

'Like my blood sugar is dropping.' Sarah had felt the same thing. So it was curse still working its dark magic. You nibbled on your bottom lip before following the other five into the school building.

The air inside of the school was cold and stale. The taste of dirt and dust settled on your tongue. It was almost suffocating. It was very dark magic and you clenched your hand around the aluminum baseball bat you had.

Since the six of you could no longer use your abilities, you'd had to turn to other means of defense. You and Ethan had baseball bats, Erica had a six-inch switchblade, Sarah had a crow-bar, Rory had a Batarang, and Benny had a nerf gun with pencils in the darts. You had no idea what the fuck you six were going to do.

It didn't take long to find Malia. She was in the middle of the gym- where the band practiced since Whitechapel didn't have a band room- with candles spread into the five points of a pentagram on the floor with one candle in the middle. Hair and string were tangled into piles and she was sitting with a sewing needle weaving from one hand the other. You knew the making of a voodoo doll when you saw one, and that was definitely it.

"What are we waiting for? Get her." Erica bared her human teeth at the outline if Malia. She surged forward with the switchblade glinting in the low-light of the gymnasium. Malia was humming something low, it was familiar, and continuing to sew the hair and string together.

Ethan and Rory started moving towards her too, but you grabbed their arms. You could feel something electric tangled with the dust and dirt in the air. She was working magic, but it had nothing to do with the doll.

"Erica, wait!" Benny called out. Erica stopped and threw an incredulous look over her shoulder. Malia never moved at the sound of Benny's voice. The song- spell- never stopped. Benny raised the nerf gun and shot Malia in the back. She didn't cry out, but only crumbled into a pile of black smoke. The lights coming from the windows blacked out and the flames on the candles burned brighter.

Malia's laughter began to ring throughout the empty space. You pulled the two boys behind you and started walking forward.

"You cursed us? Why?" You asked. The laughter stopped and a whooshing sound came from in front of you. The gym lights were turned back on and Malia was standing in front of you.

"I'm sick of the vampires in Whitechapel. I'm sick of the monsters coming here because the humans are Meals-On-Wheels for any hungry creature cruising through town." Malia spat the words at you. You took a step back when you saw her face. Her skin was pale and her eyes were bright red. She snarled at you, showing her rotting teeth and forked tongue.

"You're possessed." You whispered the words and she screamed in your face. She was possessed by her own Dark Magic. It was a common occurrence when witches went dark- some of them could handle it, but some of their souls just weren't made for it. Apparently, Malia's wasn't.

"I am empowered! I am free of the veil that hid my eyes." She turned her gaze towards Sarah. "Your kind is a plague to humanity. The curse that the gods put on you should have wiped you out- not make you immortal. I intend to fix that."

"In case you haven't noticed since you lost your veil-" Ethan waved his hands in front of his face, "But not all of us are vampires. Did you just pull names out of a pointy hat?"

"You six are meddling imbecile who make a habit of getting rid of people with plans. I decided to wipe you all out before you got the chance to interfere with me." She scoffed and fluttered the arm of the cloak she was wearing and disappeared. It was like a shitty magic trick with actual magic.

"Then you're too late. Cause we're here and we aren't leaving without a fight." Sarah raised her crow-bar and started forward. Malia cackled again and you were reminded of Jafar from Alladin.

"You and what army?" With that, your weapons were yanked from your hands and shot to the ceiling. They hit with a very heavy clang and stuck there. You rolled your eyes.

"That's my trick." You pouted and started to shuffle forward. In the blink of an eye- Malia was in front of Sarah and grabbing her throat. Sarah grabbed her hand and ripped it off her throat. Sarah kicked Malia in the middle of the chest and sent her soaring across the gym and against the wall on the other side.

"Sarah!" Ethan rushed forward and grabbed Sarah, who was folding like a lawn-chair and collapsing to the ground. The veins in her face that had disappeared came back and throbbed like a heartbeat. You watched Malia stand up from the opposite side of the gym. Her face had the same veins as Sarah. She began to walk forward and stumbled. Your brain tried to grasp for something to do, but whatever idea had come to you vanished.

Malia caught herself and the black of the veins absorbed and she stood up straight. She walked towards Sarah and when she got there, Sarah was kicked back into the wall with the same amount of force Malia had been sent flying with. Srah hit the wall and slid to the ground, groaning.

Erica cursed and grabbed the witch by her hair. She yanked her backward and sent her to the ground. Erica stood above her and flashed her fangs. When she went to tear Malia's throat out, a blast of magic sent her in the same direction as Sarah.

Malia stood and flashed her rotting teeth at Rory, who whimpered and surged forward. Rory threw a punch, but it didn't come close to landing and Malia caught his hand. She crunched the bones in his hand and he began to gasp for breath. Rory trying to get away, but she sent him to the ground. You saw movement out of the corner of your eye and Ethan was beside of her, bringing a book down against her head with surprising force.

Malia screamed out in shock and dropped Rory's hand. Off to the side, Sarah and Erica were getting to their feet. You looked around for something to grab, but the only thing there was the bleachers and you certainly weren't going to be able to pick those up.

"Ethan!"

You turned back to the scene unfolding before you, just in time to see Malia's marble colored hand clasp the side of Ethan's face. Your eyes widened and you surged forward, but Malia lifted her free hand and sent you and the others backward. Ethan gasped hollowly before his body went ramrod straight. His eyes fogged over and black blood began to ooze from his nose.

Benny screamed and tried to run forward, but was thrown against the wall once more. You watched the black blood vessels appear in their faces. Ethan was starting to slouch, but so was Malia. You saw Rory speed towards the two and tackle Malia to the floor. Benny went to grab Ethan, but you stopped him. The idea from earlier had resurfaced and you had a plan.

"I know how to stop her. She's sharing our energy for a second before she takes it. That's why she keeps stumbling before she gets stronger. I think she messed up the spell when she was performing it. She intertwined our life forces and hers too closely. She gets weak before she gets strong!" You exclaimed. Sarah was beside you now, Ethan's unconscious body hidden behind hers.

"Then what do we do?" Sarah asked. She tucked Ethan against the wall and crouch-walked closer.

"She's like Rogue from X-Men! Whatever we throw at her, she can throw back just as hard. So how about we give her something she can't use against us?" Benny motioned to you and him. Sarah furrowed her eyebrows at the lack of her in the plan. "When she gets extremely weak, her magic should fail for a second and the weapons should drop from the ceiling. That's when you need to kill her. She won't be able to defend herself."

You and Benny shot off of the floor and started toward the middle of the gym. You spread your fingers out with your palms toward the floor. You felt the Earth underneath the concrete and started pulling the roots of weeds and flowers to you.

Using your magic felt like you were being drained slowly. Like you were walking in the desert and the sun was slowly starting to fall, taking with it the heat and leaving you in the cold. You saw cracks begin to spiderweb across the shiny floor and greenery start to rise from the darkness. You smiled when you saw Malia try to walk toward you. She stumbled- hard- and almost didn't catch herself.

Benny's hands were palm-up and releasing butterflies into the air. Their iridescent wings fluttered in the rays of sun coming from the small windows at the tops of the gym walls. It looked like a colony of monarchs bobbing around the room. He was getting pale, just like you were.

"You fools! You're just hurting yourselves!" Malia screamed the words, but you could see the amount of effort it was for her to remain standing. After all, you were starting to feel it too. You watched the stems of flowers blossom into full and vibrant geraniums. You bit back a chuckle.

"Geraniums, really? And here, I thought we were friends." You could hear the teasing tone in Benny's voice, which was a strange contrast to the usual stupid one. You felt butterflies in your stomach- had you accidentally eaten one?- and you fought back another flush. You hated Benny. That was the only possible explanation for feeling that way from his words. You scowled in confusion.

"Even if we were, you're still an idiot." You stated. You balled your hands into fists and thought about making something else. You felt your stomach pulling like something had been hooked behind your bellybutton and was reeling you in. You closed your eyes and concentrated.

The wind started to whip around you, causing your hair to hit smack you in the face. You groaned, feeling your legs begin to wobble with the effort of keeping you standing. Your head was throbbing and you felt something trickling from your nose.

You felt your feet leave the ground and the air hold you gently, like a mother cradling her child. You were levitating, which was something you had been working on for a few days now. You felt yourself getting cold and your lungs start to clench up. You tried to focus on the magic flowing through your veins, but the feeling was starting to get so weak. You cracked your eyes open.

The first thing you noticed was the black veins traveling down your arms and into your hands. It looked like ink had replaced your blood. The blood running from your nose had landed on your t-shirt and you made a look of disgust. It looked like sludge.

"I don't- I don't think I've got much more in me!" Benny yelled over the sound of the wind. He was on one knee, his arms outstretched and white light emitting from the tips of his fingers. There was snow falling gently around him, coating the gym floor in a thin powder. You looked at the ceiling. The baseball bats, switchblade, Batarang, and crowbar were still secured to the top of the gym. You could see one of the baseball bats wiggling with the wind. She was giving out and you needed to end this now.

Malia was screaming. Her face was one, big, shitty, art project made by that quiet emo kid every school had. It was a mess of toxic blood, which looked like spiderwebs on her face, and marble pale skin. You felt a scream rising to your own lips, but it was because you felt like your arms were being ripped off. There was no way you were going to be able to keep this up. Another couple seconds and you thought you might die.

The gym lights shattered overhead, sending shards of glass raining down with Benny's snow. The windows to the outside were drenched in the darkness crawling from Malia's presence. She was powerful, but you and Benny were taking a toll on her through the connection of the curse. She screamed again.

"Y/n! Take my hand! Take my hand!" Benny sounded hoarse and weak, but his voice still managed to reach your ears. You watched him stand on his feet, a swaying mess, and he let his hand reach toward yours. You slipped your hand into his and felt his power. It was weak, but it was still there. You pushed your magic into his body and you could feel him doing the same with his. You were sharing the little energy you two had left.

"'Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that.'" Benny mumbled the words out and you felt the connection stir to life. Where had you heard that before? He was quoting something, you just couldn't think of what it was.

Sunlight blossomed between your clasped palms. You couldn't think of anything to conjure up, so you focused on the beam of light connecting you to Benny. It faltered for a second and grew brighter. The light expanded, pushing outward and enveloping the two of you. You could see his face now.

His veins weren't just carrying the black blood, he had it pooled in his cheeks, like sections of his face was rotting off. His cheeks were sunken in and his eyes had deep, dark, circles surrounding them. The pretty blue of his eyes was almost white now and they were bloodshot. Blood was dripping from his nose and ears. You knew you looked the same.

Martin Luther King Jr. That was his quote that Benny had referenced.

You watched as Benny's feet lifted off of the floor and he began to hover beside you. The light was pushing against the outer layer of Malia's darkness. You watched as the light stopped moving. It was like two magnets were pushing against one another. You watched as the loose baseball bat on the ceiling fell to the floor. The others were wiggling too now and you knew what you needed to do.

"'Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.'" You finished the quote and turned your face towards Benny's. He was very close to you already, almost relying on you to keep him steady while the two of you levitated three feet off of the ground.

You quickly pressed your lips against his. You felt his hand clutch down on yours and his mouth press back. The light between your hands became heat and you felt a surge of energy blast from your body. It knocked you and Benny out of the air and the weapons magically glued to the ceiling were sent crashing to the floor.

"Now!" Rory shouted to Sarah. You wondered when he had been informed about the plan, but your attention was stolen away when the switchblade was swiped off the ground and plunged into Malia's chest. You watched her form flicker before she exploded, sending black goo splattering on the walls and floor.

Everything was still for a second, but then your energy and powers came snapping back into you, like the end of a rubber band being released against a target. Your lungs gasped for a good intake of oxygen and a cloud of fatigue was seemingly lifted from your body.

You watched the correct coloring return to your skin. You wiped the gross goo off your upper lip. The others cheered loudly. You heard Sarah make a quirky catchphrase that summed up the battle, but you couldn't hear it too well. You were exhausted. Curse or not, that amount of magic was draining.

"So, uh, Y/n?" Benny spoke next to you. Your eyes snapped open- when had they closed- and you looked at him. A thin sheen of sweat was at the top of his brow, but his pupils were blown wide. The smell of magic- Benny's smell- was strong and you just wanted to melt into him. So much for getting rid of that crush, huh?

"Yeah?"

Benny ran a hand over the back of his neck while he avoided eye contact with you. You felt yourself shrinking slightly. He nibbled his bottom lip before he dropped his arm and gazed into your eyes. "There's this new movie out at the cinema and I was wondering if you would like to go with me? To watch it."

"Like a date?" Your mouth quirked up at the side. It was his turn to blush and he nodded. You smiled and he returned it.

"Exactly like that." You felt a burst of warmth in your palm and realized you had never let go of his hand. You weren't planning on it now.

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