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bronx-bomber87 · 4 months

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Merry Christmas Eve to all who celebrate it :) We’ve reached S5. Which is unreal. It shouldn’t be since I’ve been writing these for 7 plus months now and yet ha. I remember BUZZING for this ep. Then being in shock It actually happened. This entire season felt like a gift from the writers.

The long awaited reward for the slow burn. Although I enjoyed every moment of that slow burn. Was very happy to get to this place I will say. You thought Tim’s brain was broken last ep? It’s about to be obliterated haha Once again some long gifs I’ll make to get it all in. Might be the theme for this season LOL I fit everything in that I could this ep was wall to wall moments. Let’s get going.

5x01 Double Down

We start out on a glorious high. Lucy is dreaming about kissing Tim. Making out really. Not only that but she is grinning like crazy as she does. Sure she’s had dreams like this before about him. No doubt in my mind she’s had naughty dreams about this man. (and vice versa let’s be honest) But now she had something real to dream about. A tangible moment. Didn't take long for that to take root in her subconscious ha.

Also in this dream we get another lovely angle to that kiss. It's like we got two first kisses everyone. It's glorious. They sure started this season off with spoiling us right away. He looks like he’s about to eat her face in this dream version. This is why she’s smiling so much heh I love having both angles. Real and dream version.

I like how the dream version is little spicier. Like this is her dream version of that kiss. How he’s cupping her face in this one. She wanted him to devour her like that. She would’ve been happy to be his meal for the night. Also showing Lucy has it SOO bad for him. Forgetting she has a blah BF at the moment. Chris who? Unfortunately as it gets good a knock startles her awake.

It’s Tamara waking her up. Lucy is legit jarred from her dream. We watch her struggle to come back down to earth. Her messy hair and reaction are too funny. This one of my all time fav Tamara/Lucy moments. She has to give Lucy a hard time about the kiss. Wouldn’t be her if she didn’t. It’s too cute. Lucy goes into mom mode about school. Telling her about Rosalind’s trial shutting the city down. Her normal route will be closed.

Tamara mirroring her going into protective daughter mode. Asking her if she wants her to skip class? I love her always wanting to put Lucy first. She tells her no. She will be ok and no where near Rosalind anyways. She is bound to the station with Tim anyways. Waiting for their OP to jump off. Tamara asking if it’s for the UC thing from the other night? Lucy confirms this.

Tamara’s giving her crap about the kiss. Lucy being defensive saying didn’t mean anything. Oh yes nothing. You weren’t just dreaming about it or anything…Mmhm…Then she says her legendary line. ‘Make out. Stop crime. That totally tracks.' LOL I love her so much. Lucy tells her to go to school. Tamara replies in kind telling her to have fun at work. With her boss. Who she kissed…

We then switch to Tim talking to Angela about said kiss. Now let me say how giddy it makes me he came to Angela about it. Yes she’s his best friend but he didn’t used to be this open with her. She had to pull teeth in 2x11 even when he asked for her help. This is a far more open Tim Bradford than we’ve seen before. He starts this convo then goes into full denial. Babe, you started this and she has great Chenford radar. You weren’t going to fool her. Not in the slightest. I love how she doesn’t let up the entire convo. Smirking this entire time through out it as well.

Asking how much did they practice? LOL Tim telling her it was just a kiss. No big deal. Angela’s reply is epic. ‘Then why are we talking about it?’ Boom. Mic drop. She is iconic in this scene. Sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than anything else. Tim deflecting saying 'What if it wasn’t just a kiss for her?' Really asking 'Do you think she has feelings for me too?' Angela follows up asking if Lucy might have feelings for him? He looks so deflated when he says ‘No..’ Thinking no way Lucy could have feelings for him. Ugh break my heart Tim. When Angela gives me more logic it makes him said.

Telling him she probably saw the kiss as just as a weird work thing then. The defeated way he says ‘Right....’ Angela picks up on it immediately. Hence her next question to him. The way he says ‘No!' to her feelings question. He’s SO defensive. Not telling at all…Do you even believe yourself Timothy? His voice gets all high pitched. Just like Lucy does when she gets nervous about her feelings. He does his spiel about them both being in relationships. Being her boss. etc. Angela crushes it with some more solid logic. ‘All true. Not what I asked.’ God I love her. Also let’s note how deliciously tight Tim’s shirt is in this scene. Didn’t think I would let that slide by did you? Mmm.

We rejoin them in the interrogation room. Tim complaining how greasy his double is. How he hates it LOL Lucy comes in looking like a stunner. Notice Tim agreeing with Aaron’s assessment of how good she looks. She then mentions regretting the choice of thong idea LMAO I love her. Also you are going to be the death of him Lucy Chen haha What are you doing to this man? They received a call earlier and now waiting for a follow up to where to meet.

The phone goes off and Lucy gives the most ‘ in love’ look at him. She couldn’t adore that man standing in front of her more if she tried. Tim answers and Hajek tells them to meet his guys at an air strip. I love the silent communication between them. Always adore that about them. Lucy tries to get them more time saying they can’t just up and leave. How she looks requires lots of suitcases and precision.

Swing and miss sadly. Tells them to meet them there or end up in a coffin. Angela is scrambling because leaving the state is a whole other thing. Aaron saves them by letting them use his private jet for him and Angela to follow in. Lucy says they can follow the flight plan the pilot has to submit. Angela is relaxing a bit and decides to let them proceed. Aaron cracks me up asking about caviar selection such a goob. Says he'll just get an assortment. Ha I love him.

So begins them “pretending” to be a couple. When really it’s just them having no restrictions or boundaries on them. Getting to look, touch, flirt, and be free with one another. Under the guise of UC. It’s glorious really. I felt my brain stopped working multiple times in this episode the first time. Just like Tim. Lucy starts off STRONG explaining why they're late. Pulling Tim to her saying 'Their quickie wasn’t so quick.' Hot damn. (I can see this being a reason for them now a days too hehe)

They’re like magnets instantly drawn to each other. Gah I love it so much. I remember it being so hard to focus. Because they had their arms all wrapped around each other from the word go. The way they are all over each other in this hanger scene. It’s their normal banter but heightened. I’ll never be over her hand resting on his hip. His arms wrapped around her. The easy rhythm they quickly fall into. Almost like being a couple is the most natural thing in the world for them. I mean look at them. They are not struggling to sell this one bit.

The way they’re attached at the hip. Swaying together like they’re in their own world. Which what else is new with them? This is par for the course when they're together. They’re always in their own world when they banter. Only right now they’re allowed to touch and hold each other as much as they want to. And trust me they want to. It felt like I was dreaming as I watched this portion. Truly in a daze. I had to rewind and pay attention to the SL. More than once...

The smiles and the swaying gah they get me. They basically mirror the smiles and swaying from 5x12. Because they’re just as in love right now as they are 11 eps down the road. I love Lucy’s face when they get interrupted LOL It was the biggest scowl. Like excuse me you weren’t invited to this party.

I truly think they nailed this because it was their shot. They thought this was their only chance to be with each other without any restrictions. So they went for it as we can see. We all lapped it up like it was the last bit of water in the desert haha I’m giddy as he tells her to get on the damn plane. It's so cute. Lucy cannot keep her hands off him from the minute they start this. Tim is more than happy to oblige. Gah this is cloud 9 goodness.

The goodies continue on the plane as they head towards Vegas. I don’t know about you but first time I watched this portion I couldn’t focus. I was obsessed with her sitting on his lap basically. Leaning into him. Not only that but the start to Tim’s obsession we all love with her thighs. How he has his hand rests there naturally. Like his hand has found it's new home happily. Lastly their hands. I remember focusing so much on just their hands I missed dialogue. Had to rewind it to hear what was going on LOL

If you weren’t just as distracted by their hands and PDA you’re a lying liar who lies haha Or you don’t ship them. In that case why you reading this review right now? Ha I think they were both nervous about this being out of state. The hands weren’t necessary in the least. I think they were unconsciously grounding each other.

Finding comfort in each other’s touch. Also I think them being this way was incredibly natural for them. Just like everything else has been their entire relationship. Why the slow burn was so necessary. So when we got here it was basically a flawless crossover to this. Touching each other as much as possible and I love it.

Lucy cracks me up trying to get info on their job. Saying right now it's the world’s most boring bachelor party LOL Tim saying this is a job not a party. They finally tell them what their job is since they’re airborne. They ask them if they know who Roman Krupka is? They say nope. Apparently he imports Heroin to the Monarch cartel. Lucy mentions so the competition?

He continues on saying ‘Something like that.' That Roman is paranoid of computers. Doesn’t keep a written record anywhere. That the details of his operation exist in one place. One man called ‘The Brain .’ His name is Leonard Madris. Tim makes the comment isn’t is dangerous for one man to carry all that? They say yes and he’s usually kept under heavy guard. Never leaves the compound.

The reason they’re headed to Vegas is because of him. They’re received a solid tip he will be there this weekend. They find out their plan in this. They’re to take out the guards while he grabs Madris. Then they’re gonna torture the man for every detail. Then they’ll take over the business by doing so. Lucy is so cocky in her reply. I love it. Saying sounds like they should be getting paid more heh. Lyon tells them tough. So charming...

We rejoin them finding out Rosalind has escaped through Lyon. This is one of my fav moments of the episode. The way he immediately grabs her hand. Trying to ground her in this moment. Keeping her close to him so he can show her he’s there. Reassure her that she isn’t alone in hearing this. It’s just instinctual him doing this. Knowing this would be a massive trigger that would throw her off kilter. Trying to keep Lucy there with him. To stop her from losing focus and spiraling out.

Also the way Tim looks up at her. Checking in trying to get her to silently communicate with him. He needs to know she’s ok. Protective Tim is one of my favs. That immediate need to shield and protect her. Rosalind is a huge trauma trigger for her. He wants so badly to help her with this news. Look at how her hand is clutching his shoulder at first. He starts rubbing his thumb on her hand. Trying to get her to unclench. (Wasn't able to fit that one in but he does it.)

Tim being her calm in the raging storm she has going on right now. Her constant in this moment. Which is exactly what she needs. This man is so soft for her I’ll never be over it everyone. Tim isn’t able to get a read on her. She won’t look down at him. So he asks how long till they land? Lyon says 15 minutes. Tim tells them perfect. His cover being the mile high club. It’s his way of getting them a private moment. He needs to check in on her and he can’t do that with them around.

They head back and Lucy goes into full spiral mode. This is why he wanted to do this. She starts to be taken over by her fear and PTSD. Tim sees it taking over her. He tells her to stop in the softest way possible. Lucy takes a deep breath and little stomp but does. Telling her if she is not 100 percent in this it’s going to get her killed. Which ultimately will kill him in the process.

Lucy defends herself and says she’s got this. The news got to her at first but this is their one shot at Madris. That she is fine. I love him being protective and wanting to pull the plug just for her. The beautiful thing is he listens to her on this. Doesn’t bulldoze her and make a decision like he used to. He is trusting her in this moment. Letting her decide for herself ultimately. Which is such growth for him once again I can’t stand it.

He’s so ready to kill this OP if she’s not ok. I love that sfm. Letting her know that there is no shame if she does. He is there if she is ready to pull the ripcord. Tim is about to leave when she stops him. Tim looks so very confused once again. Lucy telling him it needs to look like they hooked up in here. Tim isn’t on the same page as her right now and it shows haha

Here comes that infamous airplane kiss. Has some similar aspects to their first kiss. Except way spicier this time around. Once again Lucy just pounces on Tim. He has to absorb the weight of her throwing her body at him. We watch him once again stumble into their kiss. Taken aback by her forcefulness. Her passion nearly knocking him off his feet. Tim isn't complaining once her lips collide with his though.

It doesn’t take long for him to adjust to it and go with this mini make out session of their's. He is adjusting much faster this time around. It’s all hands at first. His body absorbing the shock of her body slamming into his. Tim wrapping his arms around her anchoring her body to his. Lucy’s hands firmly planted on his face as she leads this kiss at first. Tim’s hands moving up her back fully enveloping her in his arms. Getting so very lost in her once again. Instantly melting into her.

I love how the kiss continues to get deeper. Sexier as well. Hot damn look at them above. Tim is the one chasing her lips as they continue this much spicier kiss. The way he’s leaning into her as they sway together. Two people in perfect tandem with each other. Not missing a beat. They were both so very thirsty in this moment. It’s all over this kiss. Tim running his hands up and down her back as he is savoring her. Lucy hands moving down his face not looking to part from him any time soon either. Tim isn't the only one getting easily lost in this.

Lucy’s hands sliding down his chest once again. This kiss getting deepened much faster this second time around. Their desire for one another is very evident. Tim can't keep his hands off her. Like I said for their kiss in 4x22. If they kept going his hands would end up on her face. He can’t keep them still and as she runs her hands down his chest. He pulls her closer to him not wanting to lose any contact with her. Eliminate any unnecessary space between them.

Her lips are quickly becoming a drug he is getting addicted to. He sure loves her upper lip. Captures it between his as he looks to further this impromptu kiss. *fans self* Look at him in that gif above. Wants her as close to him as possible. I just adore how softly he cups her face wanting to keep this kiss going. Totally forgetting about the mission and the men outside the door. All that matters right now is Lucy and her lips on his.

How Lucy has the self control to pull herself from him I don’t know. Gah it’s the grunt Tim does when she breaks off. *phew lord* That noise is doing things to me. Mmm. He was basically chasing her lips again when she broke off. Chasing that high of kissing her some more. He was very not ready for that to end. Also how glossy his lips look post kiss. She had her damn way with that man haha

He looks so dazed snd confused when she wipes his lips. Her hand shaking as she does this. I know we all joke about how “unnecessary” this kiss was. I think part of it was Lucy seeking comfort from Tim in this moment. The kiss quelling her Rosalind fueled anxiety. She needed to be connected with him for a moment before she could put it behind her or attempt to.

Tim was more than happy to oblige. Poor man has short circuited once again though. Eric once again the master of expressions comes through again. He doesn’t know how to restart. She’s like ok let’s do this and moves leaving Tim stand there in her wake. He is trying to figure out WTF just happened in the last 30 seconds.

We then get this pretty shot of them in the SUV. There is so much being said in the short time span of this shot too. We can see Lucy is still struggling with her PTSD. From the minute she heard the news Lucy has been scaling the walls emotionally. Almost like she’s back in that barrel. All her emotions threatening to drown her. Her lowering the window to get some air on her face. Cool her emotions down.

Looking at the bright lights trying to ground herself. To help her stay in character. Desperate not burn their UC covers. Tim looking over at her so much worry carried in eyes. She can feel his eyes on her and looks back at him. Their silent communication doing all the talking for them. She’s still in a panic but at least she has Tim with her. To keep her grounded and from spiraling out completely.

Tim giving the most space he’s given since this started. Not wanting to physically comfort her right now. Not because either of them want that space. It’s because he isn’t wanting to draw attention to her emotional distress. That would draw questions they can’t have right now. So they share a look and he doesn’t take his eyes off her. I love it so much.

Someone in the casino recognizes Jake. A girl. Which isn’t great. But does give us some protective Lucy which I always love. Finally getting to do that hair take down of her's. The one she threatened Stanton with back in 3x05. I love her taking charge of this moment. Getting this woman to back off. Don’t mess with Lucy Chen ya’ll lol They spot Angela and Aaron across the way after she lets this woman go. Figures this is the time to break off.

Lucy says she wants to gamble. See if they can get lucky three times in one day. Heh I love how he walks with her to them. Wish I could've fit the gif in. His hands on her shoulders from behind as they walk. Totally necessary to walk like this with her LOL I have a feeling this was possibly Eric being a goober steering her towards the table haha But either way I'm a happy girl with it. This was quite the married thing to do though regardless of why. I loved it. Also low key protecting her as they walk toward Angela and Aaron.

They update Angela on everything. Lucy’s first question is about Rosalind. Angela says she got a psycho lawyer to help break her out. We watch Lucy comprehend this. Saying 'Another Caleb....I knew it.' Then says Tamara needs protection. (No mention of Chris BTW) Her other fav human is with her. So no one else to protect from Rosalind. As they talk about this Lucy trying to keep her panic at bay but not doing the best job about it.

Angela picks up on it right away. Asking if Lucy is up for this? That she can pull out if she needs to. I adore Tim answering for her. Backing her and saying she’s solid. The look she gives Tim. My damn heart. He wasn’t gonna pull her till she told him to do so. Until then he supported and trusted her decision. The growth is astronomical in him. You see that written all over Lucy's face. It’s so damn good. You can tell she wanted to touch him as a thank you but stopped herself.

The minute they’re inside the room Lucy turns on the TV. Tim saves her from herself and turns it off. Saying they don’t know anything they don’t. Protective Tim is present through out this episode. Here for it. She is starting to spiral again and sits on the bed. She looks so tired and stressed out. Tim gives her a sweet compliment to cheer her up. He knows how down in the dumps she is about this. Wants to build her up in anyway he can. Saying how she's really good at UC. Just in awe of her once again.

The sweet smile he gives her when he says it too. Be more smitten Timothy I dare you. Lucy asks if he’s ok with her showering first? He says yeah. Then we see her break his brain once again. The door doesn’t close all the way and he gets a sneak peak of her naked back. He stumbles back to the bed trying not to look back at her. Replying 'Yeah... ok.. um fries.' LOL Lucy you have broken this man and I’m dying.

Eric once again crushes it with his facial expressions. Trying not to be turned on and needing a cold shower more than ever. What cracks me up is his sigh as he watches TV. Trying to drown out his dirty thoughts of her in the shower. She comes out saying the water pressure is epic. Wanting to steal the robes and asking if that's stealing? Tim says no it’ll just be charged to the room. She says ‘WE’ should take two then. There’s that married ‘We’ again.

You can tell Tim is antsy af to talk about their kisses. First off let me say how proud of I am of this man. This is the same man who couldn’t have a serious conversation with his current GF to save his life. He is the one to broach this topic with her. Once again making that first move. NEEDING to know if she’s feeling what he is very much feeling. Lucy is the one to bring this courage out in him. To want to talk about this.

He went far outside his comfort zone to get this convo started. Telling her it doesn’t feel like pretend to him. The look on his face as he says this. The hope in his eyes desperately trying to see if she is feeling their connection. Lucy panics and stutters in her reply. To me it’s not because she doesn’t feel the same. He has stunned her into silence. What she is worried about here is losing what they have.

To admit what’s going on between them means she now has something to risk. Something to lose if she does. Her person. The most important person in her life. Tim is far too important to her lose over them trying and possible failing. She is very aware it doesn’t feel like pretend. But isn’t willing to risk that. Ironically in a city like Vegas where one takes such risks. So she crushes Tim with her reply. Saying it’s an intimate act. It’s basic biology. You know a BS answer.

She is deflecting so she doesn’t have to risk losing him. Or confront this at all really. What she doesn’t know is the damage she just inflicted. Tim was already panicky from his convo with Angela about her not having feelings. He suddenly feels very alone in his desire for more. For feeling something. She’s basically rejected him in this moment. He is so sad with her reply.

He gives her one last chance with his ‘So you're saying it’s not a big deal? Doesn’t mean anything?’ She stumbles some more saying ‘Right?’ Wanting him to answer this question for her. She can’t possibly accept he wants her too. So she deflects once again. Tim put himself out there and she shut him down. Their convo is interrupted his cell phone. The looks she shoots his way break my heart. Knowing she’s hurt his feelings. When really she broke his heart a little.

It’s Angela with an update. He tells her he’s alone in the hotel with Lucy. Her ‘Uh oh’ always cracks me up. I love their friendship so very much. Her teasing is primo this season and it makes my heart happy. She is so shipping them and just wants her bestie to be happy. I love it. Telling him not to do anything she wouldn’t. He slams the phone shut and tosses it on bed. LOL

Lucy goes to dry her hair and there is a knock at the door. It’s the girl from earlier saying she knows he’s in there. Tim opens the door and gets hit in the face. They know he’s not Jake. Saying she told them he had a gut last time she saw him. That it was only 3 weeks ago. I mean that sucks for Sava. Means Jake was cheating on her long before 5x18.

He sends Wisco after Lucy and says he says not to kill her yet. Lucy is a BAMF and takes out most of the crew. This part is hilarious about her robe. I’m dying. 'Showed him the whole world just now.' Oh Lucy never change. Tim shakes his head so much I’m cackling. This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Timothy. So exasperated with he right now. I love how she stares down at him lovingly. But you know it’s just basic biology right Lucy?

I love love love him walking her up. That’s last bit of protectiveness being displayed. He doesn't want her to be alone. Tim saying he can’t wait to get out of these clothes. Lucy making a joke she isn’t going to miss that hairstyle. Then Tim is so cute and flirty says he kinda likes hers though. OMG he’s so damn cute. He is such a goner for her oh my word. Lucy’s smile not believing what she’s hearing. Gah this end portion was the death of me. Tim says I guess this is it as they approach her door. Saying they go back to being them tomorrow.

He almost seems sad about that fact. Lucy turning to him and sharing 'Right..everything that happened undercover they’ll leave behind'. No you won’t lol Then Tim does his dorky UC line and regrets it instantly. Scolds himself for that line. Basically saying why are you like this? LOL Cracks me up the way he shakes his head. Like why can't you be more smooth? Oh that's right because you're stupid in love with her and a nervous wreck about it. Funny pre-cursor to his 'Naked time.' line heh.

It’s then Lucy deciding to make a move here. All this talk about going back to being them stoking something inside her. Saying in a sense they’re still UC since they haven’t been debriefed. Tim not catching what she’s throwing down. Just replies 'I guess you’re right.' Lucy is eyeing him like she is ready to have him right then and there. Her ‘Mmhm.’. Trying to give him a hint as she flicks her eyes to the door. It’s then Tim starts to catch her drift. The look on his face when it hits him. Like he can't believe she feels the same way he does.

That there is something there. There is a whole lot of want and excitement in that man's eyes. Lucy has created a loophole of sorts. One where they’re still Jake and Sava. And what do Jake and Sava like to do? Have sex. Lots of hot sex. The amount of bedroom eyes Lucy is throwing at him is insane. The sultry inviting way she says ‘Do you want to come in?’ Tim falling back on his professional boundaries like he has for years. Tells her he shouldn’t…Not that he doesn’t want to. He SHOULDN’T. The song in this scene is solid too BTW. Whoever picks music for this show needs a raise.

Lucy nods and goes to open her front door. Tim looks longingly at her as she does. Lucy gives it one last go. Cranking it up on those sultry bedroom eyes of hers. Basically inviting Tim in to have his way with her. Gah Melissa killing it with the inviting stare. We watch Tim struggle outside her doorway. He has been fighting this instinct for YEARS. I’m sure whenever he had an impure thought he pushed it down. Shoved away any attraction to her. Pushed her away as well. Maintained the professional boundaries he set up years ago. (For the most part.)

Thing is he’s been slow receding those boundaries for years as well. Especially last season when that last bit of his wall collapsed. Slowly letting her into every aspect of his life. To the point that we are now here. Where Lucy is blatantly inviting him in for something very unprofessional. We see Tim have an internal battle with himself. Then basically says ‘F*ck it and comes in. His attraction and his draw to her winning out. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want this. Or hadn’t wanted it in the past before either.

Lucy asks him if he wants a drink? Can she make him one? Tim declining not wanting to waste any time in this precious loophole of theirs. Also didn’t need alcohol to have the courage to do this. He already pushed past that to even enter this apt. Not wanting to dull any senses or touch with alcohol. Wanting to be fully present with her. Lucy looks like was ready to jump his bones right then and there. The sexual tension is palpable. Their UST is off the charts with this entire scene but reaches critical levels once they’re inside.

Lucy understanding why he didn’t want that drink. Love her sweet but nervous smile as she goes to put her stuff down. It's then we see Chris there which ends up ruining everything LOL Just bleeding out on her couch. I love how Tim throws his head back when she see’s Chris is there. I’ll never forget that amount of hilarious memes Eric posted. People putting the funniest shit about him being there. I wish I could find them. They were SO funny. I’ll be honest as frustrated as I was in the moment I was glad they didn’t hook up. The UST was fantastic. Don’t get me wrong good god.

But it’s much better they got together the way they do this season. Way less mess and not worth the angst it would’ve caused for them to cheat on their SO’s. It’s the fact that they almost did that was so damn telling IMO. Phew well hot damn this was a beast to write. But I loved it. This premiere is fantastic from beginning to end. The amount of moments are unreal. Hell of a way to start out a season of non stop gifts. I haven’t watched S5 the number of times I’ve watched 1-4 so this will be fun. Excited to finish out this rewatch with you all as we count down to the S6 premiere. It’s 58 days btw...

~~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

This isn’t something I enjoyed so much as it rubbed me the wrong way. Nolan getting a Golden Ticket. Lucy has accomplished more, done successful UC ops before and after she graduated FTO and is currently going on another UC but sure Nolan who was disgraced and held back gets one. Sure sure…it does for being Juarez in who I love so there is positives.

Tim telling Nolan he needs backup career when picking his assignment. LMFAO I LOVE THIS MAN.

Thank you thank you to this incredible fandom that has embraced these reviews. You all are amazing and I love every single like, comment and reblog I get. ❤️ shall see you all in 5x02 :)

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thegeminisage · 3 months

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it's time for!!! a ds9 update <3 wow <333 last night we watched "past prologue" and "a man alone."

past prologue:

FIRST OF ALL, THAT LITTLE GAY DOCTOR

idk what i expected but the scene i've seen gifs of was the VERY FIRST ONE right out of the gate. i was so thrilled. for some reason garak is WAY different than i expected. like, he's just as gay, of COURSE, but for some reason i expected him to be like...meaner. and instead he's sooooo friendly and he's also a fucking tailor. julian bashir needs a new fucking suit.

that said, bashir is so slow on the uptake literally all of the time. the suit thing and something in the other episode that i forgot. king how can you be a doctor when you are so stupid...not that i'm complaining. i wouldn't change it for anything. he's so funny.

HILARIOUS that immediately after he has any clandestine conversations w garak he has to IMMEDIATELY run to the "bridge" and tell everybody about it. he gets so excited. he really is hilarious i don't think he's done a single thing so far that wasn't funny. the fact that he was late to this little party also sir get it together

i think this ep had excellent character stuff for kira, who we've only known 5 minutes. it sets up her history and her current position so well, and her conflict of interests is such a real and tangible thing that i felt awful for her. like you knew from the beginning that guy was gonna betray her but OUCH. ending the ep on her getting called a traitor was Such a choice.

i also loved her little scene with odo..."i don't do pretense" alright autism king. and yet he talked her through it and then sort of took the decision out of her hands at the end (which was a very compassionate thing to do) when it became clear what most of her wanted to do...he's like. a really good person actually 🥺

HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO A RAT.......i love getting shocked when random objects turn out to be odo. i love playing this game. also, there was totally a leaky pipe in that scene too. ds9 feels so fucking lived in...you'd never have those on tng.

i also think sisko did a good job threading the needle here, even if kira had to go over his head to get him to see reason. you gotta do what you gotta do but he was mostly compassionate to kira's dilemma and even let her take point when she requested it...AND THEN LOL smiled while threatening her if she ever went over his head again. WHICH IS WHAT KIRA DOES. SMILES WHEN ANGRY. it was really good. i like him so much

it was such a nice touch to add o'brien telling him not to hand that guy over to the cardassians. the implication being that he was in the room when picard was transported back to the enterprise post-torture which like of COURSE he was. i don't think him outlining in detail picard's torture by those guys would have swayed sisko's opinion much because it's picard so it was also smart that he didn't go into particulars. but it does hammer home that what the cardassians do to people is real to the bajorans and to o'brien in a way that it is not (yet?) real to sisko.

KLINGON SISTERS. when they first appeared i was like "holy shit those boob windows" even though i didn't recognize their faces at all. i recognized only the boob windows. then when they said their names i was like I KNEW IT. what a funny little throwback

side bar i also love that they call the station itself ds9. they don't say deep space nine they say ds9 just like we do

a man alone:

holy racially motivated hate crimes, batman

wait sorry actually let me start at the beginning. the first scene with julian getting shot down 1000 times by jadzia (or are we supposed to call her dax...) was really funny. i'm trying to figure out in my mind palace if he's a bi king or a gay-but-closeted king.

also, so much happened in this episode. there was an a plot a b plot AND a c plot but instead of feeling rushed it just felt comfortably chaotic. i was never waiting for one plot to be over so we could get to the one that really mattered, you know? i liked everything that was going on except for the lack of garak i want him to be in every episode so bad

i like everything jadzia had going on this ep...like, people react to her different as a super hot lady than they did as an old man. sisko's talk about fucking the twins was especially hilarious. dude you can still fuck twins with her if you wanted. but the way that like 3 different people had romantic tension with her and she's just out here to do her job AND ALSO is like "i try to rise above all that" so true aroace queen. although i do actually know she has a romantic plotline with worf (who should be fucking riker and deanna) and also that *** ****, which sucks a lot.

i liked keiko getting an actual plotline in this episode. like this place didn't even have a bed for jake when sisko got here, of course she doesn't wanna raise her daughter there, and of course she's bummed out that her field of expertise is fucking useless there, although i agree w her husband that somebody needs to plant some fucking trees. i do disagree with her that it's less safe than the enterprise, though...that ship almost blows up every fucking week. anyway the fact that sisko was ready to give her whatever she needed was very nice. please treat her really niceys. side bar her baby is AODRABLE that child wanted her hands on that little bell soooo bad

speaking of jake!! it was nice to see him again. i like that when he gets in trouble his dad is obviously pissed without it being like a Problem. like he's pissed and jake is in trouble and sisko is gonna lay down the law but it's not a relationship-threatening issue. it was harmless teenage fun.

unfortunately sisko did kinda carry the idiot ball for the rest of this ep...i feel like there were so many choices he could have made to maybe NOT put a giant target on odo's back and it also took him a lot longer than i would have liked to step in once the mob started going, but he did step in, so that's what matters.

i loved odo in this episode!! he's just as angry as kira is in his own way, and his relationship with both her and quark (WOWWW more on that in a sec) feel so lived in, you can feel the years between them...it's also just now apparent to me that he's actually really protective, which, aw. i love also the lore that every 18 hours he has to just exist as goop in a pail. so true king me too

odo also aroace king he simply chooses not to couple. so true. that said whatever he and quark had going on was FUNNN i love a little sexual tension in my star trek. is he aroace or is he gay for that little ferengi. only time will tell.

on a more serious note odo's quarters getting hate crimed really drives home how set apart he is from others...and the mob section was GENUINELY scary. and he's so protective it was a little sad that kira was the only one really standing up for him :(

I NEARLY FORGOT TO ADD: julian bashir straight up growing a guy in a bubbly goopy little vat just to catch a killer? insane. thats a whole ass person who is about to be part of society who exists "just because." imagine the existential issues lmao

TONIGHT: "babel" and "captive pursuit." technically after babel we're supposed to watch "ship in a bottle" from tng, but i've been informed it's a barclay episode which means i will be watching it myself later tonight on 2x speed. it's not the first time we've fucked with the order a little bit lol (i was famously late finishing tas) so i still count it as mostly watching in release order

#personal #star trek blogging #ds9 lb #MY DS9 POSTS ARE LONGER THAN MY TNG ONES LOL. wow #it's still too early to tell but contenders for my favorites are kira odo bashir and sisko. and garak. so like half the fucking cast

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book-place · 2 years

Text

How to Get Fired

Warnings: allusions to violence, Spanish comes from google translate, chronic back pain, let me know if I messed up :)

Pairings: Marc Spector x reader platonic, Steven Grant x reader platonic

Requests: Platonic moon knight?? The exact thing I need after ep 6 T-T I have this idea.. You're free to change anything you like. All 3 personalities x museum worker reader. Generally the reader just has to deal with the rapidly changing personalities in the middle of the day and prevent marc.. Or steven... Or jake from getting fired again.

Hi! Can I make a platonic moon knight request? It would be headcanons or an imagine for Marc/Steven with a best friend who deals with daily chronic pain? Just something really sweet and wholesome and purely platonic! I deal with that and I'd love to see your take on that! Thank you! And if you don't want to do it, that's also fine! Have a wonderful day!

(Sorry these both took soooo long; if they aren’t what you wanted then just lmk and I’ll try to fix it!)

(Also, again I’ve never experienced chronic pain so I’m so sorry if I messed this up!!)

Requests by: @tokiloki @luminouslywriting

*not my gif*

Summary: Being friends with Jake Lockley, Steven Grant, and Marc Spector was honestly a full time job

A/N: This is definitely not what I had in mind when I first got the idea to combine these two, I thought that one of the requests would make for some humor! :( Sorry; translations to Spanish are bolded; also, I’ve never written Jake Lockley before so this was kind of hard for me to do

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

Letting out a tired groan, you lifted your head from the counter to come face to face with Steven Grant smiling down at you symthimaticly.

“Morning, love.” His British accent rang out from above you.

You hummed in return, moving your head back and letting your eyes flutter shut once again.

“Hey, none of that.” A now American accent came from the same place that Steven had just been standing, and you felt a hand lightly slap you upside the head, causing your eyes to fly open.

Snapping your head up, you glared at Marc Spector who smirked down at you slightly, a smallest bit of amusement dancing in his eyes.

“We’ve got work to do, Enamorado.” The accent once again switched, this time to a Spanish one, and Jake Lockley stood with his arms crossed. Then he paused, eyes flitting upwards towards the ceiling slightly, like they always did when he was listening to one of his alters, “Besides, Steven says it’s bad for your back.”

(Sweetheart)

You winched slightly when you realized the man was right, just feeling the regular stabbing pain in your upper back.

After meeting Steven when you had been hired as another gift shop worker at the museum, you both quickly became good friends.

It didn’t take long for you to meet his other personalities, and though they were all very different people, you got on with them well, accepting them all for who they were.

He hummed when he realized that what he said was right, and turned to go to his spot at the counter, his relaxed and cocky stance immediately forming into a slightly hunched over and timid one that you knew to be Stevens.

“Not enough sleep last night?” He asked gently, beginning to reorder some little nick nacks in front of his register.

You shook your head with a sigh, “My back was killing me.” You replied simply, not wanting to go into why it was hurting in the first place, watching as Steven quickly glanced at the closest reflective surface- something he did while talking to his alters.

“Marc’s guessing it’s because you forgot to take your medication again.” He proved your thought when he spoke up.

You winced slightly, this time not from the pain, “Well it’s not like I meant to.” You could practically see Marc roll his eyes at your statement even though he wasn’t fronting.

Before Steven could open his mouth to rebuttal, a voice cut through the almost-silence of the Tuesday morning in the museum, “Stevie! N/n!” Donnas ever so annoying voice practically shrieked as she came into view, carrying a box of new pyramid paper weighs, “What are ya doin’ mopein’ ‘round for?” She looked between the two of you suspiciously, as if one of you were planning on jumping out and turning into a clown at any second.

“Nothing, Donna.” You mumbled, using every last bit of strength you had to not snap at the woman due to your bad mood.

“Ay!” She was the one who snapped, dropping the box on the counter in front of you, “No need to get all snippy with me!” She huffed when you didn’t answer, “Jus’ for that, you can bring these down to the basement.”

With that, she turned on her heels and stalked off in another direction, no doubt going to bother some other poor worker.

“Oh, why that little-“

You looked over with wide eyes as Jake let out a string of words, and even though you didn’t speak Spanish, you had a pretty good idea that none of the words being let out were PG.

Just before he was about to stalk off after the woman, you quickly caught the back of his collar, yanking him back from jumping over the counter.

“Stop it, Jake.” You hissed, “Its fine, I’m just gonna bring this downstairs.”

He turned to look at you, slightly glaring, but you knew it wasn’t directed towards you, “But your back is hurting, let me just do it-“

You cut him off and stood up straighter, “It’s fine, Jake. Besides, someone has to be up here if there’s any customers. And Donna would blow a gasket if she sees that you went instead of me.”

He gave you a bored look and pointedly looked at the entirely empty museum, before looking back at you and rolling his eyes, “Whatever.” He said, then began mumbling things under his breath that you couldn’t quite understand.

With an eyeroll of your own, you leaned forward to pick up the box, wincing ever so slightly as you did so as another pain shot up your back. But if Jake noticed he didn’t show any sign of it.

You brought the box downstairs, with much pain on your part, dumped it on a random table, and made your way back up to your friends.

When you arrived, you immediately noted the stance different from the other two, this one slightly tense as if always ready for a fight to break out. With one foot slightly before the other in a subconsciously guarded stance.

He was munching on some food, which you were one hundred percent sure was from the candies in your gift shop.

“What are you doing, Marc?” You looked at the man suspiciously as you got closer.

He immediately whipped around with wide eyes and a slightly guilty expression, “Nothing.” He denied, his full mouth giving him away.

You let out a sigh, running your hand down your face, “I don’t suppose you paid for that?”

He coughed awkwardly, shuffling his feet as he looked anywhere but you.

“Marc!” You dragged out his name as you groaned, “How many times have we talked about this? You can’t just take food from the shop whenever you want!”

“Well it’s not like anyone else wants them!” He defended, “They taste like shit!”

You stomped over and snatched the bag out of his hands, tossing it into a nearby bin, “You can get Steven fired for that!”

“Speaking of,” He ignored you, already back to messing with some of the Knick nacks around the counter, “Why should Steven get all the credit here? Jake and I have been talking and we both agree that we do more around here then Steven does!”

“Oh my god.”

You loved Marc, you really did. He was one of your best friends. But god he could be annoying.

“You know, I agree with this statement.” Jake then said, choosing to front as he leaned against the counter.

“What are you two lollygagging for?” Donna yet again cut in before you could say anything else.

Jake turned to look at her, unamused.

“Why’re you lookin’ at me like that for?” She demanded, eyes narrowing, clearly not liking the way her employee was looking at her.

He answered before you could step in and tell him it was a bad idea, “You just made Y/n carry a heavy box downstairs even though you know about her chronic back pains.”

Donna appeared to be too focused on the fact that he had talked back to her, to even notice that the man had a completely different accent then normal.

“You’ve got no right talking to me like that, Stevie.” Her eyes were narrowed, and you could practically feel the dangerous shift in Jake's mood.

“What did you just say?” He asked angrily, and you didn’t even need to hear Steven and Marc to know that one of them was trying to calm the man down while the other just sat back and watched with a laugh.

“Listen, Donna, maybe we should just-“ You tried, only for her to turn her glare to you.

“Oi! I wasn’t speaking to you!”

That seemed to set the men over the edge, “Oh that’s it.” It was Marc’s American accent now.

Just as he was about to lunge over the desk, you quickly caught the back of his collar and yanked him back, ignoring his efforts to fight free from your grip.

“Okay, you two need to go take- like- a chill pill.” Donna said in disgust, “Go take a twenty minute break and come back to me when you’re done.”

You didn’t need to be told twice, not letting go of Marc’s collar just in case as you dragged him along until you were both out the museum doors.

As soon as you let go of him, Steven stood in his place, seeming to shrink under your gaze, “What were they thinking?” You hissed at him, “They could’ve gotten you fired! All day you’ve been doing things that could!”

Steven shrugged, fidgeting with his hands, and you signed, running a hand down your face, even though you knew for the most part it wasn’t him.

Suddenly, pain exploded in your upper back and you let out a little grunt, hand flying up to the area and Stevens expression morphed into one of horror and worries.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong? What can I do to help?” His words came out rushed, and even though you appreciated how much he cared, you waved him off.

“I’m fine, Steven.”

He looked at you suspiciously before being the one to sigh, “Come on, Marc suggested that we go get you your medicine.”

Wincing slightly, you nodded your head, “Yeah, that might be a good idea.” You agreed.

As the four of you walked away, you couldn’t help the feeling of relief that washed over you. You had three of the best friends in the world that you could have. People you knew would watch after you and take care of you for as long as they could.

And even though they were a lot to handle sometimes, you loved them.

MCU Taglist: @lovanitu @jvdethirlwall @ineedmorefanfics2 @sambucky8 @spidyyparker @irethepotato @femalemarvelself

#platonic #platonic imagine #x reader #marc spector x reader #mcu #marvel #mcu x reader #moon knight x reader #marc and steven #steven with a v #steven grant x reader #steven grant #Steven Grant x reader platonic #jake lockley x reader platonic #Marc Spector x reader platonic #mk imagine #mk #mk x reader

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tiffanylamps · 2 years

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I am wondering how did JW get through the first couple days or weeks after DS’s and HGH’s arrest? We watched the drama for 16 episode then many developed the serious brainrot. What does it feel like for JW who has spent the last several months in the case, developed the deep relationship with DS and Manjang people, twisted and turned and endless late nights…then all of a sudden everything came to an end at that night…. Cannot imagine the hollowness he must have felt. How did he get through with just himself ? I bet Hyuk must be there for him but must still be very very hard. I am wondering how YJG and SHK feel after this project. Have they experienced similar withdrawal like us? #mental-dump #just-want-to-chat-with-someone #it-is-good-to-see-jw-smile-after-a-year-but-he-must-have-gone-through-a-lot-of-xxx

Firstly, thank you for your message. I appreciate that you took time out of your day to contact me <3

So... Heartbreak interlude/Post-Canon Han Joo Won? The man of my (albeit minor) worries and concerns? The small baby cherub himself that... gosh, simply put, he needs therapy.

Let's get into it. I'm going to overshare my headcanons and hopefully give satisfactory answers to your questions along the way...

[grab all of the snacks and stay hydrated. I go on about it for about a decade because I don't know how to stfu. As always, excuse my dyslexia pls]

[EDIT 12/07/22: I added some more thoughts because i cannot be stopped... someone stop me pls]

Okay, firstly, look at that gif, look at the Joo Won we are being presented in the ending scenes and tell me he's okay. He looks so worn out, emotionally suffocated; as if he has put all of his emotions into a glass jar and has been huffing on it just to get a hit. Joo Won is vein and yet, he hasn't had a haircut, he's wearing the same clothes, he has bags under his eyes, he walks with a shyness that isn't like him, etc, etc.

Han Joo Won is a confident (not to be confused with his arrogance) man. We do not see that confidence at the end of ep. 16. I read his body language as someone who has been strung up to dry, through his own doing. He has spent an (almost) year emotionally self-flagellating because of what he did. Joo Won is semi-responsible/directly involved in three people's murders. The guilt must be weighing a tonne on him. That, including his overwhelming feelings of guilt/complicated feelings toward Dong Sik... well, I don't think he would be dealing with it in a healthy way.

Joo Won doesn't scream like he's a "i go to therapy and take my meds and openly talk about my trauma in a healthy constructive way, whilst learning to slowly forgive myself" kind of guy. Quite the opposite.

(yes, hit your chest with a loaded gun whilst you have an anxiety attack... people, his finger is on the trigger!!! what are we going to do with his man?)

How did JW get through the first couple days or weeks after DS’s and HGH’s arrest? (my thoughts only, based on my wild imagination and lack of knowledge) Joo Won was one of the lead investigators in the national /international scandal of the decade: the murder and cover-up case of Lee Yu Yeon, involving the lead suspect, General Commissioner of South Korea's police force, Han Ki Hwan. He was not the arresting officer but he was a leading detective of that case, working undercover/behind everyone's backs with his colleague from the Inspection Inquiry department at headquarters (from my understanding, it's basically Internal Affairs), who also happens to be the deceased twin brother. [He's also the arresting officer for Lee Chang Jin, Park Jung Je, Jo Gil Goo, and Do Hae Won. that's a lot of paperwork and a lot of court hearings.] Yeeeah..... that's a sticky situation. I fully believe that the South Korean version of the CPS (crown prosecution service) would have wanted Joo Won off that case as quickly as they could because his involvement will make it very messy in court. [Personally, I think HKH would have a solid appeal and I think it might even go through because of Joo Won and Dong Sik's handling of the case. A half-decent lawyer could make a meal out of the relationships/dynamics at play here.] He is also the arresting officer of his partner/ his father's arresting officer... Which is just... yeeeeeeeah. a. lot. So, he'll be doing a lot of paperwork, following procedures, answering SO many questions and I think, just going through the motions, completely and utterly numb to it all. Emotionally, he would have checked out in order to assure he brings justice to the victims and their families.

But that emotional numbness won't last for long...

I fully believe he would become a media sensation but not because he wants to be. I think the press would follow him around and dig every ounce of his life as they can, so they can sell more papers/get more clicks regarding HKH's case. (they follow him to and from work, sit outside his flat, find all of his favourite spots, contact everyone and anyone who could have dirt on him... basically, make his life a living hell). Also, the fact that Joo Won is handsome and annoying is a factor. He was also correct about the Manyang serial killer, investigated his own father and arrested his partner- gosh, well, there's a lot to be said about him.

(come on, the insta pages created in his honour would be bountiful. he has nice clothes, great hair, that face, a nice arse that doesn't quit, and a funny personality... He's the young "star" of a modern Shakespearean scandal. it's bound to happen.)

So, I think he would be harassed by the media/public throughout the duration of his father's trial. He'll be ostracized by MANY people within the police force because he's uncovered the extent of the institutional corruption. He'll be a very busy boy, who is on the edge of falling apart 24/7 because life is a lie/gone to shit.

How did he get through with just himself? I bet Hyuk must be there for him but must still be very very hard.

Okay, so let's get to my headcanons and talk about my juicy (unhealthy) theories of what Joo Won's (almost) year away could have looked like.

It's either he:

He works very hard and keeps his head down. He's quiet and tries his best. He applies himself to prove that he's not his father's son. Perhaps, over time, he reconnects with his mother's side of the family and that helps him develop an identity outside of his father's shadow. Or.... my preferred theory... (it's dramatic, just HJW)

Joo Won is a fucking mess. He is someone who cares more than the average person, he holds himself to a very high standard and is his own worst enemy. He is suffocating with guilt, it drenches him to the point he is soaking; heavy and unable to move. His day-to-day life is a slug that he endures because it is the right thing to do. But at night, or when he's alone, he's a trainwreck. I believe Joo Won has substance abuse issues (as hinted with his drinking in the show) and I think that would get much worse post canon/the interlude. Joo Won drinks to punish/numb himself, he drinks alone and during the day. We never see him drunk but that could be because he's very good at controlling that side of himself... Well, as someone who has control issues like him (wanting to be in control but also, has a very bad temper/easily loses control with the right pressure/if Dong Sik pushes his buttons), what if something so traumatic happened to him that it forces his self-control out the window? What then?

(this boy loves to punish himself. He's a masochist, I tell ya. Maybe he'll get into BDSM, who knows? it might be cathartic for him; losing control in a controlled setting)

I think he would allow the sides of himself that he's been repressing his entire life to come exploding out. It's messy, ugly, and painful but germination isn't a pretty process. It's a cold undertaking that happens alone, in the dark corners of one's mind, and doesn't always succeed first-try. But like many seedlings, Joo Won can survive in the dark and has an abundance of perseverance. He just needs to spread his roots and keep reaching toward the sun; with patience, he will eventually see the sky.

But he can't do it alone.

There are three important men in Joo Won's life:

His father: Han Ki Hwan

His partner: Lee Dong Sik

His other: Kwon Hyuk

He sent one to prison (who gave him massive daddy issues, let's be honest), he arrested the second (who he had a complicated/queer-coded relationship with) and that just leaves one behind. One left out of three... and you know what? I think in pure Han Joo Won style, he would have become desperate, compulsive and obsessive over Hyuk.

(there aren't enough gifs of Hyuk. It's a crime. I love him so very much.)

They are the remaining sons of a dying dynasty*; a defamed house that is burning down to the ground, ignited by the molotov cocktail that Joo Won threw himself.... lit with the aid of his partner. HE WOULD BECOME SO RELIANT ON HYUK, I can't even begin to explain it.

*someone play Dynasty - Rina Sawayama

Hyuk would become his everything. He would do anything; he would self-sabotage to hell and back if it meant he got to keep the only person left to him. (his last remaining family member) Hyuk is his friend, his forced rival, his pseudo brother, his sore spot, his sweet spot, and someone (depending on your interpretation of the text) he may felt some non-platonic feelings for, at some point in time (i.e, adolescent crush/sexuality awakening/first love kind of situation.... they gave each other funny looks, okay? don't blame me, the Han family is weird!) Joo Won means a lot to Hyuk. He would LOVE Joo Won relying on him, so he would really step up. [[ I think that in the future, this would cause tension between Hyuk and Dong Sik (kind of like: I picked up the pieces you left, bitch. ) ]]

Anyway, anyway, anyway, in summation: I think Joo Won will have a horrible time of it. He would be so focused on keeping himself accountable that he'll end up punishing himself through self-destructive means. He would reach a point where Hyuk is like "enough is enough" and drags Joo Won's self-pitying arse home and sets him straight (lol). Joo Won would try to reconnect with his Lee family (his mother's family) either physically, or privately/mentally, so he can try to find his true identity (outside of his Han heritage/father). I think they'll be a lot of self-discovery, punishment, and an explosive release of 28 years worth of tension. He'll make many mistakes and it'll be a very sad and lonely process. But through Hyuk's guidance and his own need to carry on, he'll learn to grow and uphold his promise: to never treat anyone the way he treated Dong Sik (never hurt ds again). (ep. 12, 34-ish minutes in) I fully expect him to gradually (over many years) finally accept to go to therapy but I think it would take a very troubling (police) case to get him there. I also believe that it would take years for him and Dong Sik to get to a point where they could even consider exploring what the hell they had going on. They need a lot of time to heal and grow; to accept and forgive each other, and themselves.

I LOVE the idea of them being messy idiots for years. Who continuously make mistakes and drive the other insane. But they both stubbornly stay by each other's side like glue because they're cut from the same cloth. (Come on, let's be real, has Joo Won been ever been this comfortable with anyone else? So open and real, so himself in every way; even the ugly and immature parts. Dong Sik has seen every side of him and still accepts him. beautiful. and Joo Won wants to be in Dong Sik's life so desperately, he wants to be good for him and bring him happiness- he wants to make his life easier. according to the script, Dong Sik sees Joo Won as his saviour...... that's heavy. what a beautiful bond) No one understands them the way they understand one another. No one will accept them the way they accept each other. No one else will have the shared trauma and therefore, the patience they need to be with one another. I love the idea of them developing a deep friendship. I read their dynamic as romantic, so I would suspect that at some point along the way, they would explore that side of it. Whether they could make it work or not... I don't know (I hope so)

I am wondering how YJG and SHK feel after this project. Have they experienced similar withdrawal like us?

I'm not too sure. But considering Shin Ha Kyun received an award for his wonderful performance and made a rare appearance on social media to celebrate the 1-year anniversary of Beyond Evil, says that he hasn't forgotten about it. Yeo Jin Goo, on the other hand, can't escape it. He's currently starring in Link: Eat, Love, Kill which is basically a (headache of a show that has massive problems with its tone but is still very charming) het romantic comedy version of Beyond Evil, including basically the same storyline, just told from a different perspective, even including a few of the same actors. So... I don't think he's going to be forgetting any time soon. [We need a season 2, mainly so we get more of these wonderful characters and 10/10 cast/crew. but also because we didn't get an editorial fashion shoot with these two (SHK & YJG) and that is a crime. I said it, someone needs to do time. Joking aside, I don't think they ever will (make a season 2) because if they were to follow jwds's story, they would have to explain some stuff... the actors could see, the audience can see, and the creative team leaned in towards it... so, do they have the bravery to make the show queer? like 100% canon no-second guessing queer. I don't think so.]

So.... yeah. Before I write a 20-million-words about Han Joo Won (which would make me more pathetic than him lol), I'm going to leave this here. Joo Won is a delicious character with so much depth that he can be interpreted in many different ways. I think that's just wonderful.

Just because I see him as a little weirdo who uses kinky sex, drugs and alcohol to punish/explore himself, whilst pretending everything is fine on the outside, and still somehow making it to work (just) on time, *inhale* doesn't mean you or anyone else has to see him that way. He's fab, this show is fab, and you are fab.

Thank you for your message. I hope this answers your questions. I also love talking about this show, so thanks for choosing me to be the person you chat with.

[EDIT: I should include that I think the majority of Joo Won's grieving and destructive behaviour will happen during the almost year-long interlude. I do believe that once he knows that Dong Sik doesn't blame him and actually still feels affection for him, the weight will be lifted and he go down the path of self-forgiveness. He'll mess up and be silly along the way but I fully can see him one day living a relatively normal life, living with someone (preferably a certain someone) who understands and supports him. His future is FULL of love and discovery.]

As always, if anyone wants to add to the conversation, please feel free to do so. I'm sure many will disagree with me and that's okay, this is just my opinion of one of my favourite fictional weirdos.

May he grow and learn to love himself (he deserves so much love, bless him).

Bye for now!

#beyond evil #jtbc beyond evil #han juwon #han joo won #beyond evil analysis #beyond evil replies #beyond evil meta commentary #jwds #lee dongsik

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gillianthecat · 1 year

Text

Eek. It's already Friday again. Let me finally finish writing about ep 12 so I can watch 13.

I loved episode 12 of My Only 12% so much. I actually watched it twice the same night, and it was even better the second time.

That opening scene. So intense, so emotional. Their desperation to be understood by each other. All of See-eiw's feelings (bottled up for years) pouring out. The way Cake hugged him, like he wanted to pull him into his own body, like he wanted to anchor him to the world. And their conversation felt so real, so them.

It could have felt abrupt - they're suddenly dating! but it didn't. It made sense that Cake would instantly transform into super-boyfriend as soon as he knew it was an option. I'm still not clear on exactly when Cake realized that he wanted See-eiw and loved him romantically - the show is still mostly from See-eiw's point of view - but I also don't feel like it matters that I know. From the moment Cake stepped off the bus I believed that he was at the very least on his way to falling. And even if he only realized that dating was an option, that that's what all his jealousy had meant, when See-eiw had said he was gay, I'd fully believe that Cake would then instantly decide that the solution was to become boyfriends. (And I agree with this post about why it didn't feel like gay-for-you.) He's that sort of impulsive. Either he's known for a while that he wants to be Eiw's boyfriend, or he recognizes it as what he wants as soon as he sees it as an option.

And then they were so cute as boyfriends. Cake just could not stop touching him. I was honestly surprised by how different and yet somehow how exactly the same boyfriend Cake was to friend Cake. He was already very physical with See-iew, and yet somehow he found a whole new level of constant touch. And I thought he already looked at Eiw with love in his eyes, but no, there's more of that to be found too.

I thought the show handled Cake's desire, and the characters' sexuality very well. It just felt so very them. I loved that it was made clear that this want just Cake being possessive about keeping Eiw to himself, that he wanted Eiw sexually. (Not that I ever thought it was just possessiveness, but I still liked it.) I loved that Cake couldn't keep his hands off Eiw, but that it seemed like he was holding himself back until Eiw was ready. And the thing is, with characters that know each other this well, I trusted that Cake knows Eiw well enough to read him, to read what he's comfortable with, what he's ready for. So Cake kept it light and fun - tickle fights and cheek kisses - until Eiw was ready. But he also let Eiw know (you're driving me crazy. I want your whole body) that he did desire him, that he did want more. Which, although we didn't really get as much insight into Eiw's thoughts this week, must have been reassuring for him, that Cake really meant it, that he wasn't confusing boyfriends with best friends, that their relationship had changed.

And then the last scene. Whew. That was so incredibly sexy and romantic. A million gifs have already been made. But again, I loved how it both felt so them, and yet also completely new. Of course Cake wants to make sure Eiw knows how much he loves him. Of course he has all these words of love and desire that he's been holding back and finally allows them to pour out. And he think, though this could be me projecting, that this is part of Cake's campaign to make sure Eiw knows that Cake is taking the boyfriend's thing seriously, that his desire is real, that it's not just him being possessive in the ways that Eiw feared.

I don't know what was behind the decision to have Cake say all of that in English. And honestly it threw me a bit at first, I think because his voice sounds so different in English. And I'm not used to understanding what anyone is saying without the subtitles. But upon 2nd rewatch it really worked for me. (It helps of course that Cake's accent was believably that of someone who'd gone to high school in the US, not just an actor who'd had a couple sessions with a dialogue coach.)

Maybe it was to create the odd sort of intimacy and truthfulness that comes from saying something in a foreign language. Maybe it was because Cake had been thinking all of that in English, while he was in America, longing for a far away Eiw. Maybe he wanted to show off for his boyfriend. Whatever the reason it worked.

And I appreciate that they didn't leave Eiw as the typical blushing maiden uke, that they let him show just as much sexual desire as Cake. It made sense that he was pushing back earlier, that's always been their dynamic; Cake pushes, Eiw restrains. And I can see why he'd take time to adjust - this thing he's wanted for years, something he'd given up ever having, is finally his. I can see why he'd live in the old dynamic for a while. But this last seen shows that his interest in Cake is sexual, has probably been sexual for a while now.

And it fits that the night they finally have kiss and sex (the very next night after they get together? the timeline is unclear) is while Cake's friends are right outside in the living room. Cake's exactly the type of possessive to claim his man like that. And even his weirdness about the shorts didn't bother me in his new relationship fervor. If he doesn't calm down soon it will be a problem, but I'll give him a pass on jealousy and possessiveness for at least a week.

In fact my only mild criticism of the episode was the comedic sound effects during the scene with the friends. It's as if they decided know that were in a university setting we have to use typical university bl stylings. But it wasn't ergregious and I got over it. And I liked all the friends reactions – supportive and teasing. (Although I remain curious about the Fee/Kung relationship that was hinted at early on. Was that going anywhere? There's been no evidence of it since entering uni.)

The Facebook relationship status stuff: it didn't bother me as much as I thought? I think because it didn't seem to bother Eiw. Yes, Cake outed Eiw as queer without his permission, without talking about it. And Eiw, who had been living as gay in Thailand, has probably thought a lot more about the implications being publicly out than Cake, who spent high school in the U.S. and who may have only this week realized he's bi (or maybe he's known for years, again ambiguous). But I guess again I trust Cake to know Eiw well enough to know what he'd be comfortable with. Should they have talked it over? Yes of course. But Cake is impulsive and still young and it seems like it all fine, so I'm not mad at him.

Of course, it still could have consequences coming. There are still two episodes left. The episode 13 preview looked like the angst would be about Eiw's mom, but they could torture us on multiple fronts. I honestly have no idea what to expect - whether the drama will all be external and Cake and Eiw will weather it together, or if they still have growing pains coming. I kind of hope there are at least some growing pains, because no matter how good there are together there's got to be some adjustments to be made, and I want to see them figuring that out. But either way I'm just glad I get two more weeks of them in my screen.

(This is all assuming they get a happy ending. I don't really think it's going any other way, but I don't know what I'll do if it does. Scream and yell and break dishes, probably.)

#my only 12 percent ep 12 #my only 12 percent #my only 12%#gillianthecat reacts to bl

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kestrel-of-herran · 2 years

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what's your favorite 2521 episode and why? 🤍🤍

hii! thanks for the ask!!

i think my favourite episode is ep.9, because it has a very satisfying narrative arc in terms of heedo and yijin defining their relationship, and also probably because it was one of the happiest episodes to watch for me. i love how heedo and yijin communicate their feelings throughout, the build-up of tension for the interview plot, and the release of that tension when the damage done doesn't turn out to be as important as the relationship the characters are building together.

it lays such a strong foundation for their relationship that by the end of that episode, i was convinced that nothing could come between them, where before i had shipped them but kept in mind we might witness a deterioration of their romance, a love triangle, or any other kind of prolonged conflict that makes them an "almost" kind of romance.

but when i watched that ending scene, i wrote, "whatever happened to these people, they never hurt each other." and that remains true for me -- the person who hurt them is the writer.

up until the middle of the series, i was waiting to be convinced that they weren't meant to last, but instead all the evidence kept piling up in favour of their bond, until nothing could convince me to the contrary. i ask myself every day, why would you tell such a story? what good does it do? what does it achieve? and i have no answer, because for me, the story only makes sense if they're at the end of each other's misery. everything else falls flat and unconvincing.

i'm also partial to the ending plot of ep.6, where yijin picks up heedo from the train station and drives her to the match. i think the feeling of happiness is at the root of that, too -- i binged the first six episodes, and when i do that, i tend to unconsciously view whatever part of the show was released before i started watching as a complete mini-arc, as a world on its own. it's a completely arbitrary way to view story and has nothing to do with structure, just with circumstance. i started watching after seeing gifs of yijin giving heedo the 15th volume of full house, and i remember thinking, "ah, that's romance. he bought her the book she loves. that's peak romance." then i saw gifs of him holding hands with her on the pier in the snow, and the contrast of the cold night and the warmth of their hands and gazes practically held me at gunpoint. "you will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast", writes catherynne m. valente.

so when i got the end of episode six, i felt this sense of completion and triumph and elation. i had watched a meeting, a parting, and a reunion, and as the soundtrack played over the red car speeding through the empty street with just the two of them, i think what i felt most was confidence. i knew that they would lead me to a good place. and they did, but the story didn't.

#this turned out so personal rip #thank you for the ask!!!#lilly gets an ask #twenty five twenty one

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booasaur · 2 years

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How are you, Boo? Just want to check in on you.

And another anon:

I’m so sorry to hear you feel burnt out. I hope that’s just when it comes to gifing and watching the disappointing shows we’ve been getting (some were disappointing for their storylines others for their premature cancellation and others for their fanbases). I hope you are still finding joy in other things! Please know we don’t just love you for your gifs (as great as they are!). No spoilers but I have a lot of non-Ellen/Pam feelings about FAMK 3x10 I want to share with you, but I’ll save them for after I know you’ve had a chance to watch.

Hey! It’s super nice of you two to reach out.

Kinda feeling the same as I wrote last, not feeling up to watching much. I’m still on the fics and a few other things, though they seem like temporary replacements while I wait this out, I guess.

I wouldn’t even say any of the shows were disappointing, or not more so than usual, I think it’s just me. I went back to see the last time I watched three eps of a show in a row and it was when I was catching up on Made for Love more than a month ago.

I mentioned I’d see how I felt when ALOTO came out and for a bit I was really hyped! Thursday night, let’s watch, got half an ep in before I hopped over to the FAMK finale, and then I just couldn’t find it in myself to return to ALOTO. Even though the half I watched I really loved! It was delightful, funny, lots of women, seemed quite f/f-y, and most of all, the characters had personalities. And given what other people have been saying and the many, many blacklisted (for spoilers) posts I’m seeing go by, it does seem quite great! I just... not right now.

I remember when people used to say, oh, you know how you have to be in a certain mood to watch something, the stars have to align, and I would be like, not me, I’ll watch every new show the moment it’s out. Now I just find them intimidating. :x

Same with asks, I actually opened my inbox because I wanted to talk about the FAMK finale but I got three and was like, that’s enough of that. I saw the second ask above, and same, had so many feelings about the non-Ellen/Pam stuff but just...you know. Didn’t feel up to it.

But, I’m here now. I’m really unhappy again, lol, about the deaths! Especially in how random and pointless a way they were done. Also, did we ever see Karen talk to Kelly about the baby? If anything, they could have really played up her grandchild being born and her still dying but the focus was just on Jimmy?? If I have to continue putting up with these Stevens siblings in s4.... Lmao at Ed being like, you’re telling me you’re a massive, lying screw up with a death wish and think that’ll convince me to send my pregnant daughter with you? There isn’t a lot I loved about this season but Ed’s protective streak and more importantly, love for Kelly, were up there.

And MOLLY? I loved her being brought back but if they were gonna do it just for a very random fade to gray death, why do it at all?? “We gotta write these actresses off even though their characters will be in their 60s/70s and could easily have just retired, like how we kept Molly off screen for most of this season. Yes, the only answer is death.” I mean, I get that they wanted Molly to go out heroically, dying as she lived, but then at least write her a heroic scenario. Still, I was touched by the smoke closing over her, of course. I’m not above being emotionally manipulated!

The Margo thing, god. Y’all know how I’ve felt about this the whole time. I couldn’t have foreseen this, though, lol, but it’s definitely a hilarious way to bring about new dramatic tension for another season. But unless they bring Ellen and Pam back, I’m not sure I’ll even really be paying attention for s4.

#replies #sent on 20220807 #sent on 20220812 #Anonymous #5 #for all mankind #for all mankind spoilers #for all mankind 3x10 #personal #now I gotta finish last week's only murders and somehow read all of oleander in time to write a review tonight :x

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words-4u · 2 years

Text

little rockstar - d.r

➩ read part 2: here

pairing: daniel ricciardo x singer!reader

wc: 1.8k

warnings: none

a/n: THANK YOU TO WHOEVER REQUESTED THIS! I HAD SOOOO MUCH FUN WRITING!!!

formula 1 masterlist

[not my gif!!!]

the best part of being an artist is touring, hands down. there is something so euphoric about singing songs that you poured your heart and soul into to large crowds of people who then sing it back to you. the passion they have is incredible and you've never felt more loved than when you were on tour meeting all your fans. that is until daniel ricciardo entered your life.

daniel was unexpected in so many ways. you two met in a dingy bar in austin, texas where you were booked to play at a festival. that night was open mic night and your friends thought it would be hilarious to sign you up for it. when the mc called your name you made your way to the small stage. daniel was sitting in the front at a small table with his friends when you started to sing ‘what a time’ by julia micheals. at the time, your debut album had come out and was topping charts and gaining lots of attention due to your public breakup with a beloved actress whom most of your songs were about.

the second you got on stage, daniel's attention was on you and it never left. he was awe-struck. he was a regular here and he knew that open mic night was mostly for amateurs but no, the way you were singing he knew you were experienced. the second you were done, he broke out in huge applause that made you blush, earning whoops and laughter from your friends in the back.

later that night, he found you by the bar and introduced himself. you weren’t familiar with motorsports so f1 was lost on you, but the way he spoke about it and his passion for racing, you were intrigued. you told him all about your singing career even showing him your ep on spotify and sharing earbuds cause he wanted to listen to it. you two were so enamoured by each other, you hadn’t noticed your friends leave. it was the moment everything clicked for you. he made you smile and laugh the whole night. being in his company was like being bathed in sunlight and it still felt like that 8 months later.

today was your last day of tour and you were ending it in your favourite city, london. emotions were running high as it was the last night of the europe leg of the tour but also daniel was going to be in the crowd watching tonight. due to the hectic f1 season, he didn’t have time to go to any of your other shows but this date lined up perfectly on the tuesday after the silverstone grand prix.

you and daniel made a conscious effort to keep your relationship private just because it was easier not to have outside noise or other people's perceptions of who you should be with or vice versa. you weren’t necessarily hiding each other but you weren’t flaunting it either. your fans had an inkling you were seeing someone again because of the cryptic tweets and photos you’d take, they just didn’t know who. f1 fans, on the there hand, were quick to notice that you two were suddenly following each other on all your social platforms and were sometimes leaving inside jokes as comments under each other posts. you two were always goofing around with each other so they were many.

what most people don’t know about daniel is that he has a musical ear, he doesn’t take it seriously but he can write some pretty good stuff some of which actually ended up being used in your new ep giving him full writing credit.

there was one song that you kept off on your ep because you wanted to release it as a single and you were gonna play it for him and the london audience tonight.

daniel snuck into your green room beforehand to wish you luck. “last show of the tour, how are you feeling?” he came up behind you as you stood at the massive vanity. you let your head rest on his chest as you made eye contact in the mirror.

“it’s bittersweet... i mean you know i how much i love performing and getting to see my beautiful little fans has been a dream and i'm gonna miss them so so much but on the other hand i can’t wait to have time off to support you at grand prixs.”

daniel laid a soft kiss on your head. “i’m extremely proud of you, you know that right?” he mumbled into your hair.

chuckling, you responded, “i do and it means so much to me that you made it tonight.”

“i wouldn’t have missed it for the world. you’re my little rockstar.”

closing your eyes, you let yourself be showered in your boyfriend's love and admiration. how did you get so lucky?

after a few moments, you turned in his arms to stroke his bearded face. “i have a surprise for you.”

“enchanté,” he smirked pulling you closer which made you squeal and giggle.

“not like that… but i’m not saying anymore, you’ll just have to wait and see.”

his response was at the tip of his tongue but was cut off by rapid knocks on your door.

“y/n, it’s showtime.”

“got it! thank you!” you acknowledged. still holding hands you took a step back and asked, “okay how do I look?”

you wanted something cute yet comfortable so you decided on a monochromatic moment consisting of a white corset top and matching white faux leather pants.

he looked you up and down and couldn’t hold back his trademark smile. “like i wish you didn’t have to go on stage in 5 minutes so i could have my way with you.”

“ha! well dan, it’s my last night so we’ll have plenty of time for that.”

daniel kissed your temple and left the room to go find your friends and lando who he invited last minute. you took a couple moments to gather yourself before heading out.

the second you appeared on stage, screams erupted. you were instantly energized ready to give this show your absolute all and you did. there’s this bit you do at the end of your shows, where you head off stage and the fans yell “encore” over and over again until you come out again and perform one final song. today’s song was gonna be different.

“you want one more song?” you asked the crowd.

they all screamed “yes” so you delivered.

“okay, the last song of the night and of this tour is actually different than what i usually do because it’s an unreleased song…” you said as excited chatter arose from the crowd.

“yeah, i purposefully held back this song so it could be released as a single because it’s very dear to me and it deserves it's own moment, you know? so i wrote this about someone very special to me not even a month after meeting him but i recorded it recently so i could surprise you with it tonight. everyone, this is song is called ‘breathing’.”

as soon as the instrumentals begin and your fans cheered but as you sang it died down as no one knew the lyrics.

I don't really know about you, but something has started

'Cause deep inside don't feel good whenever we're parted

I don't ever wanna go backtrack, broken-hearted

daniel was in the vip balcony of the venue with lando and your friends. they were having the best time and lando was so excited to see you perform live for the first time. daniel was enjoying himself immensely and was in awe of how you sang. he leaned over and nudged your best friend, “this song is about me right?”

“no shit, sherlock.” she replied, already used to his dumb ass.

“‘kay, just checking,” his eyes never leaving you.

I feel like I hit my head 'cause now there are stars

More stars in my eyes than there is in the sky, babe

I'm sitting in the seat of your car

Your hand on my thigh, yes, I think I'm alright, babe

And now you're here, don't ever go far

you couldn’t help but look up into the balcony catching daniels eyes and singing the chorus directly to him.

I think I'm in love, I think I can feel it

Way back when I was young

I heard about love and never believed it

And then you changed my mind

In world record time

You said hello and I said: "Baby, don't tell me goodbye"

'Cause now I'm in love, can you believe it

That being in love is just as easy as breathing

in that moment, it was like only you two existed. everything and everyone faded away. fans were starting to notice your unwavering attention to a certain tall curly-headed guy up on the balcony that they started to take pics of y/n y/l/n’s new man.

daniel couldn’t stop smiling. he was finally watching you in your element and you were singing about how you’d never known love until him and that made his heart warm. he isn’t someone that opens up to others easily but you changed that. from your first interaction, he wanted you to know him and he wanted to know everything about you.

as the song ended, you were almost deafened at the sound of applause and cheers that erupted from your fans.

“thank you! thank you. so that was ‘breathing’ and like i said it’s coming out very soon so keep an eye out for that.” you spoke into the mic.

“is your special person here?!” yelled a young fan from the front row.

“is that obvious?” you chuckled as the crowd laughed along. “but to answer your question, yes he is and i’m beyond happy that he could come out to the last show of the tour.”

thanking your fans once more, you made your way off stage. daniel was the first to make his way to you wrapping you in a hug and lifting you off the ground. “you were incredible, absolutely incredible. and i loved your surprise very much,” he kissed you.

“can i say hi before you suck her face?” lando cheekily asked from behind him.

daniel let go so you could embrace his mclaren teammate. “i can’t believe this is the first time we’re meeting! daniel talks about you so much that i feel like i already know you.”

“i could say the same to you,” he patted you on the back before stepping back. “you were great! we had an amazing time.”

“aw, i’m really glad to hear it!’

“so... does that final song mean you two are going public?”

you looked back at daniel. “well, i tried to be subtle about him being in the crowd but failed miserably so i guess so.”

daniel took ahold of your hand. “thank god, i can finally tell the world that you’re mine. i’ve told a few of my mates back home and they actually don’t believe me.”

a mischievous grin grew on your face. “so let’s give them something to believe in then,” pulling out your phone you scrolled to the most recent picture in your camera roll. it was a picture your best friend took of you and daniel the night before where you were cozied up to him and he had an arm around you. throwing together a sweet little caption, you pressed ‘post’.

#f1 2022 #f1 one shot #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo x fem!reader #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo x reader #lando norris #daniel ricciardo fluff #f1 fanfic #singer!reader #famous!reader #lando norris x reader

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marvel-trash-bin · 3 years

Text

Taking Risks.

(Not my Gif.)

Summary: Zemo gives you what he thinks you deserve. *Some TFATWS Ep. 3 Spoilers.*

Pairing: Zemo x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Smut for days baby. Dirty Talking, Possession, marking, Soft!Dom Zemo. 18+ Only.

Word Count: 4.2K

Tags: @greeneyedblondie44

A/N: Look we all know we're walking dangerous territory, simping for a war criminal. But Sugar Daddy Zemo got me feeling some type of way and also, Daniel Brüle is hot asf. Also, I don't actually know german so pls if it's off just blame google translate, I just have an insatiable language kink and I needed the pet names more than air itself. I thought about making this a chaptered fic, but I barely had the time to write this, never mind chapters of it before he likely fucks over Sam and Bucky next episode. Anyways, enjoy!

Here’s the thing.

You knew he was dangerous. You knew his past, the EKO Scorpion kill squad and everything with the Avengers, manipulating them and breaking them up from the inside. He was smart, unpredictable. You knew there was a very real potential that you could be hurt - or worse - if you went down the road.

And maybe, in a past life that would’ve been enough to stop you. But you weren’t who you used to be. You liked playing with fire now, inviting danger and chaos rather than straying from it. You had lived in - hid in, was more accurate - Madripoor for a handful of years now. You laid low, kept yourself under the radar of the Power Broker and those who worked for him. This way, no one bothered you and you could live fragments of a normal life, Trading and bartering to make a living. But living this way, like forgotten trash on a sidewalk, got old.

Maybe that’s why when you caught his attention, you didn’t shy away from it.

It had happened so fast. You were dancing, just intoxicated enough that the rubbing of strangers' bodies against yours was not just welcomed, but encouraged. So encouraged that when a new body, tall and firm behind you, took the place of another, you didn’t hesitate to back up into the warmth. His hands gripped your hips tightly, not stopping or guiding you, just resting. Turning your head slightly to see what your new dance partner looked like, you startled a little seeing the Baron.

Helmut chuckled, a low sound you felt rather than heard, and ducked his head down to speak into your ear, “You know who I am.”

You let your body relax back into his, feeling reckless enough to bless the menacing man with your flirtations, your head falling back onto his, “I’ve heard a thing or two.”

“And yet you trust me to hold you like this,” his hands flex on your hips, just hard enough to show the strength they hold, “Like a lover.”

You grab one of his hands, leading it down to your upper thigh where your knife holster sits, never once letting his hand leave your body.

“If I didn’t want you touching me, you’d know it, Baron.”

The gust of breath you felt against the side of your neck and the large hand gripping your thigh had shivers rolling pleasantly down your spine.

“You are far too beautiful to reside in these undergrounds,” he spun you around in his grasp, allowing you to get a good look at his face, “A woman like yourself should be treated with the most expensive riches, the finest wines. She should drain a man of his earnings.”

You laughed, not expecting the words that came from his mouth nor how handsome he was, even this close, “Point me to the man who’s willing.”

He smirked at you, but there was a smugness to it. A glimmer in his eye that suggested he had the riches and the desire to give you anything you wanted. You felt like you were drowning in his gaze, lost as you were under the heat of it. He looked somewhere behind you, pulling his eyes from you to nod once at whatever, or whoever, had stolen his attention from you. When they returned to you, the heat and desire were replaced with determination.

“It is with great regret that I must leave you, for now,” He captured your hand, bringing it up to his lips, the softness of them brushing lightly against your knuckles, “I can get you out of Madripoor, give you a life you deserve. If you meet me tomorrow morning, the airstrip.”

The world felt like it froze around you. The rational part of your brain was screaming at you. You couldn’t trust him. You Shouldn’t trust him. But as you stared into his eyes you saw nothing but honesty.

“And if I don’t?” You ask, just to buy yourself some time.

His hand travels up your arm, taking your chin between his thumb and pointer finger securely, “I will not pressure you. I’d leave you be, but the ghost of you would haunt me, schatzi.”

And with that, he was gone. Leaving you with nothing more than your thoughts, mentally preparing how quickly you could pack your things and leaving Madripoor behind. After all, you’ve always loved taking risks.

The next few weeks were a blur. Zemo was laying low, but his form of laying low was still luxury to you. It was private jets and upscale accommodations, not to mention that he was a man of his word. He spoiled you. Within three days of being in his presence, you had acquired a whole new wardrobe. Your suitcases - also new - were filled to the brim with the fanciest and latest fashion. You had rare jewels on nearly every piece of jewelry you owned. Maybe spoiled was an understatement. You’ve only dreamed of owning riches like these.

He had picked something particular for you to wear tonight, both of you making an appearance at some sort of party with some higher-ups. It was all laid out on the king-sized bed, a little black dress of sorts. It was short and sheer in its long sleeves, the sparkles in the fabric ensured that you would shimmer under any lighting. With a simple clutch, matching jewelry and a cropped, white fur jacket to keep you warm until you got to your destination. You looked good. You felt good.

He looked just as good. Sporting an outfit similar to the one you had met him in, instead choosing a dark red turtleneck to create a stunning relation between both your outfits. Nothing had happened between the two of you yet. Aside from lingering glances and innocent touches, he had been a gentleman. The chemistry was there, for sure. You were able to joke and talk with the man, matching his wit and charm every step of the way. And he loved it.

“Best behaviour tonight, schatzi.” He had said, low in your ear as you walked towards the venue.

You had smiled back at him, the perfect picture of innocence, “Always, Baron.”

And at the time, you had fully meant it. But you found yourself craving him. He looked too good, it honestly wasn’t fair. The way that ridiculous fur jacket draped over his shoulders, fostering a powerful ambience. And you knew he was faring no better himself if by the way his eyes were glued to your curves was anything to go by.

So, you decided, maybe you shouldn’t be on your best behaviour tonight. It’s not like you were making a scene or anything that would call too much attention. You were simply letting the alcohol take over your body. Whether that meant a hand on his thigh as you listened to the conversations around you, your fingers playing with the short hairs at the back of his neck or dancing a little too scandalously when you knew he was watching. You felt confident. And when you felt confident, you felt dangerous.

By the end of the night, you were teasing yourself just as much as you were him. You were pushing your luck, hands trailing a little too close to the bulge in his slacks, enjoying the way his facial features changed briefly in shock before settling back into that infuriating unmovable stoic impression. The last straw was you bending in front of him, having ‘dropped’ something from your purse. You only had to bend so much before the dress, as short as it was, had ridden up just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your panties.

In an instant, he had you standing upright, thanking whoever he had been talking to for a wonderful night, tugging your dress back down to a respectable length and steering you towards the door by the back of your neck.

“That was not best behaviour,” he growled into your ear.

You giggled, despite the tight grip on your neck, “I was just having fun.”

He had done nothing but stare at you, eyes hard with a warning that had you rethinking your actions. You had forgotten, for a moment, that this man was not just someone to give you all the pretty trinkets you wore. He was a mastermind, a criminal mastermind at that. A man most deemed dangerous enough to be locked away.

“You have been bad tonight, kleine Schlampe.” He said once he had gotten you back to his car, away from the prying eyes and ears of the party guests, “You will spend the trip back thinking of ways to make it up to me.”

The words sent heat through your core, and you did exactly as he said.

By the time he had gotten you up to your accommodations, you had thought of thousands of different scenarios that could earn you forgiveness for your recklessness. You were uncertain if his words earlier had implied sexual favours, or if a simple, genuine apology was all he was looking for. However, once he had turned to you, the room door closing behind him and his eyebrows raised expectantly, you fell to your knees in front of him like it was second nature.

He chuckles darkly at you as he peels his gloves off, tossing them gently onto a side table nearby before letting one hand brush away the hair that had fallen in your face.

“Seems you are meine kleine schlampe indeed,” You had no idea what it meant, but fuck it sounded good coming from him. His eyes were hard and dark as he stared down at you, “If this is the path you’ve chosen to apologize, so be it. But not here, you are meine schlampe not a common whore. Get up. Go to the bedroom.”

You did as he said, quickly pulling yourself up to a standing position and walking to the designated room. The bed, so far, had only been used by you. He hadn’t wanted to push or pressure you into sharing a space with him. He understood that just because you decided to join him, didn’t mean you wanted to be with him. But tonight, you had decided, you wanted to give him your everything. You wanted to show him how grateful you were for all the gifts he’d given you so far. And if you couldn’t give him luxuries, you would give him your desire.

“So,” he began, nodding in approval at the way you resume your position on the floor in front of him, “Let’s begin with the basics.” As he talked, he rolled up his sleeves, doing so with precision, “Tell me, what exactly are you apologizing for?”

He commands every drop of your attention. There’s an aura to him that you had only previously caught a glimpse of. His eyes dark and locked onto yours, never once wavering. Waiting. Calculating.

“For teasing you.”

“And?”

You take a breath, shame flooding your core at the answer that sits on your tongue.

“For embarrassing you.”

There’s a pause. He cocks his head, gaze softening just a tad. He's quiet for several moments, analyzing your words. Your heart starts to beat a little faster at the extended silence, thinking you’ve done something wrong and you can’t keep up the eye contact. You duck your head, averting your gaze to his feet.

“Look at me, schatzi.” His voice is soft, but still with enough edge to make you listen.

Only once your eyes meet his again does he continue.

“That’s very sweet of you, to be concerned about my image. But make no mistake,” He steps closer to you, letting one hand cup your jaw, tilting it upwards. His thumb brushes against your bottom lip, “You could never embarrass me,”

You dip your head, nipping softly at his thumb. He smiles softly at you, something glimmering in his eye, “I simply just don’t like to share what’s mine.”

Your breath leaves your body at his words and suddenly the need for him to claim you had you nearly vibrating in your skin. You watch, every muscle in your body clenched tightly, as he walks slowly over to the armchair in the corner, never once taking his eyes off you. He sits, legs parted, one arm draped off the side, the other rested so he could prop his head up.

“Proceed.”

Instantly, you make your way over to him. Once in front of him, you stand up on your knees, placing your hands on his knees and slowly sliding them up his thighs. They continue its upward motion, skimming lighting over the hardness in his pants and reaching to start on his belt. You make quick work of his belt and buttons, eagerly working his pants and briefs down. He chuckles above you.

“Mein Schatz, so eager to apologize.” He purrs, almost mockingly, hand coming down to brush the fallen hair away from your face.

Once you had him free, you took a second to admire him. Your legs clenched at the size of him. Not terribly big, but big enough to anticipate the stretch, the fullness. Your eyes flicked back up, looking up at his through your lashes, leaning in but stopping just before you could actually get your mouth on him. The hand that was previously fixing your hair was now clenched in it, messing it up again and forcing your head back suddenly to look at him properly.

“It would not be wise to tease me more than you have,” he warned.

A smirk spread across your features and you quickly realized how much you liked him like this.

Powerful.

Strict.

However, you knew you were on thin ice already. With that in mind, as soon as his grip loosened you licked a wide stripe up his length, swirling your tongue around the tip before taking him fully into your mouth. The tension his body held melted the second your tongue touched him. His mouth dropping on a soft groan. His hand stroked your hair as you sucked, encouraging the bobs of your head, not forcing but guiding. You keep your eyes trained on his face, not wanting to miss a second of experiencing him like this.

He glows in the low lamplight of the room, the shadows playing across his features delicately. You like him like this too. Reduced to a heap of gasps and moans beneath the heat of your mouth. As you suck, your hands wander, up under the fabric of his shirt, nails dragging down his sides. He hisses at the pain, but doesn’t tell you to stop.

After a few minutes of your slow torture, he decides he’s had enough. His hand tightens in your hair, his movements becoming less gentle and more demanding.

“That’s a good girl, take it all for me.”

You do as he asks, taking a breath before taking him as deep as you can. He groans at the feeling, hips shifting a few times to test you before beginning to thrust in and out of your mouth. Your jaw aches, but his eyes are on you and his thumb is tracing your bottom lip that’s stretched wide around his cock and you think for a second that you could spend eternity like this.

It’s not much longer before he pulls you off his cock, hand wrapping around his base tightly, “Apologies, schatzi. I am out of practice, and I fear I'm not quite finished with you yet.”

You laugh softly, voice rough due to your previous activity, “That’s okay, I don’t mind.” You insist, more than happy to let him finish like this. Whatever he wants.

He stops you before you can dip down again, standing up and taking you with him. For the first time, his lips are on yours. He overwhelms all your senses. His breath loud in your ears, his hands on your waist, his scent. His tongue slides against yours as he walks you forward, shedding his lower clothing as he goes. He only parts to give you an order.

“Turn around.”

As you do, he finishes undressing and it kills you that can’t see him. Just as quickly as the thought crosses your mind, it’s gone as you feel his hands at the top of your dress. He slides the zipper down, letting the fabric fall off your shoulders. You take the liberty of helping the sleeves the rest of the way down, the fabric falling down around your heels once you’ve done so. He hums behind you.

“Such beauty,” he whispers against your shoulder. His hands begin to wander, around your waist, up underneath the fabric of your bra, down to your thighs and ass. He chuckles, dragging your panties down enough that they too fall, forgotten at your feet, “I can hardly stay mad at you, liebling.”

Your head falls back onto his shoulders as he works your bra off next. You shiver, feeling bare and exposed before him. You want him more than you can express and you let your whole body fall back into his embrace, whimpering at the feeling of him, hard against the swell of your ass.

“Helmut,” you moan, one of your hands finding purchase in his hair as the other rests on one of his forearms.

“Tell me you’re mine, Schatzi. And I’ll give you anything you want.”

“I’m yours,” you say without hesitation, breathless as his hand dips between your legs, finding your clit. He hums, pleased at the arousal he finds there, “I’m yours. Only yours.”

He growls pulling his hand away from, “Lay back on the bed. I’ll be right back.”

You do as he says, positioning yourself in the middle of the bed. While you wait, you let your mind wander, listening to his rummaging somewhere in another room while your mind runs through everything you want him to do to you. At some point, your eyes must close because when you feel the bed dip, they open to see him crawling between your legs.

He’s done messing around, wasting no time before his face is buried between your thighs, hands maneuvering your legs so that they’re thrown over his shoulders, your heels crossing sweetly behind his head, no doubt scratching at his shoulders. Your breath leaves your body at the feeling of his tongue, warm and wet and fan-fucking-tastic. He alternates between dipping it in and out of your heat and flicking it against your clit. Your hand finds his hair, gripping it between your fingers and guiding his movements ever so slightly. His eyes don’t leave yours, spare for the few times he closes them to moan against you.

One of his hands move, leaving its place at your hip to sink two fingers into you. Your head falls back on a moan, back arching up when he crooks his fingers and finds your g-spot.

“Fuck,” you gasp, one hand gripping the pillow behind your head as you feel your orgasm rush towards you, “Fuck- Wait, I-”

You can’t even feel embarrassed about how easily your body has reacted to him. Before you can warn him much more, you're falling over the edge. Your thighs tensing around his head, back arching in pleasure as you ride out your high. In this moment you belong completely to him, unable to think of anything else.

“So sweet for me, liebling.” He comments, hands rubbing up and down your calves as you come down, taking a moment to unfasten your heels, letting the shoes drop to the floor before leaning back in. His lips brush against your inner thigh.

Then a bite.

“Such pretty sounds you make for me.”

And then he’s sucking harshly at the skin there, watching the shudder that rips through your sensitive body at the sensation. He doesn’t pull away until the mark is dark and flush against your skin. He continues this on the other thigh, on your ribs, your breasts and finally your neck, marking you thoroughly.

“Mine.” He growls, hot against your ear, “Mein schatz, will you let me have you?” he asks, and it’s literally all you can think about so you don’t even bother hiding the truth, the confession tumbling from your lips breathlessly.

“I’d let you do anything to me.”

He groans, capturing your lips in a deep kiss as he does so. He pulls away to grab the condom that he had put next to him on the bed and leaning back on his haunches to roll it on. You’re so impatient, nails digging into his thighs and arms, whining as you watch his hands work.

“So needy,” He comments, swallowing your moan as he finally, finally, sinks into you.

The stretch as he enters you has your head rolling back on a moan, your legs wrapping around his waist the bring him the rest of the way in. He buries his head in the crook of your neck, growling against the skin there.

“Fuck,” he groans through gritted teeth, his resolve quickly slipping at the feeling of you around his cock. And to his credit, he really tries to wait, to be good. But not seconds later he’s adjusting his grip on your hips and he’s thrusting into you with a force that makes the whole bed shake.

It’s barely been 30 seconds, but the build-up that had occurred throughout the entirety of the night had you right back on the edge, your nails clawing at his shoulders, his back, his thighs. Any purchase you could get on him, you were begging for more. You’d take anything he gave you without so much as batting an eyelash. His grip on your hips is tight and bruising, but the pain twists into a delicious pleasure that only spurs you on.

You must be speaking, babbling something back to him about how good it feels, how much you love being fucked by him because he’s laughing through a moan against your neck. He pauses for just a second, straightening up and throwing one of your legs over his shoulder before continuing to fuck you.

“That’s it Kätzchen.” He purrs, eyes moving down your body to where he enters your body, “Taking my cock so well.”

You mewl at the praise, your body arching in response to his words. Your second orgasm takes you both by surprise, having hit you like a fucking freight train when he thrusts particularly deep, hitting one of your sweet spots. You scramble for purchase on him, mouth dropped open in a near-pornographic moan that you’ll surely be embarrassed about later. But for now, all you know is pleasure.

His hips falter, stuttering as your walls tighten around him. His head falls back on a low moan, fucking you hard and slow through your release.

“Such a sweet cunt,” he gasps, “Mein Gott..”

And then he’s tangling your hands together, holding it high above your head as he pushes your thighs back, flush against your chest. He’s the one babbling now, words from God only knows what language, whispered against your skin as he chases his own release. He gives one last hard thrust and he’s done, his teeth dragging against the skin on your shoulder, moaning against you as he rides out his orgasm.

As you both come down, you stroke the back of his neck, playing with the hairs there, trying to catch your breath. After a few moments, he pulls away just enough to kiss you. There’s a lingering heat and it’s a little messy due to your shared exhaustion but it’s good.

Once you’ve both caught your breath, he removes himself from your body, taking the necessary time to deal with the condom. You watch him lazily, unable to do much other than that. You’re so tired. But there’s that ache between your legs that you love so much and you think briefly that you could go another round, if he wanted to.

He must see something in your eyes when he returns because he laughs softly, “I feel I may have my hands full with you, schatzi.” he says as he crawls back into the bed with you, covering the both of you with a blanket, the cold now biting at your skin. You know you have to get up soon enough to sort yourself out before bed, but for a moment you stay with him.

His fingers brush over your face softly, following the slope of your nose and the angle of your cheeks. There’s no real purpose to his movements, just... touching. As if convincing himself that you’re real.

“You are special, schatzi.” he says softly, “I don’t know what your plans are, but I can only hope that you choose to continue to bless me with your presence.”

This man is such an enigma to you. He carries such confidence in every aspect of his life and yet he still doubts your loyalties. There’s anxiety and pain hidden within him, you can see it in his eyes as he continues to look at you. You wonder, how much of his past weighs on his shoulders. How long before he deems himself worthy of your affection? You lean in to kiss him softly, your lips dragging slowly against him. When you pull away you keep him close, brushing your noses together.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

#helmut zemo #zemo #baron zemo #helmut zemo x reader #zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #sugar daddy zemo #tfatws #tfatws spoilers #marvel #mcu #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #smut

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absolutebl · 3 years

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This Week in BL

Aug 2021 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Love Area Ep 4-5 - (ep 4 fan subs here and ep 5 here) play within a play was fine, look on the bright side at least it wasn’t a music concert. But OMG Non & Toon taking over the noodle shop was the cutest thing ever. Valen is such a big sulky yearning baby. We got us a genuine love triangle going on, and everyone of them a tiny disaster. Partly because of that, this show feels a lot faster paced than most pulps. Meanwhile, I’m not sure what happened to get PeetKing back together but it looks like, with Ice in the mix, that King’s got himself a uke to look out for, form of... flexible archetype, love triangle part deux! How exciting. Two different love triangles (and two different kinds seme/uke\seme and seme/flex/uke) in one BL - from Thailand no less. Is this a blessing or a curse?

Check Out the series Ep 0 - this one isn’t supposed to come out until next year, 2022, but they dropped an ep 0 on us anyway with so many tropes I wonder what’s left for the rest of the series. YouTube is excited X a million for this one. The production values are good and the leads have killer bodies and great chemistry so yeah, what more do we want? Oh it starts with a one night stand, something new and different for BL and a personal favorite of mine. 2022 is too far away now.

Siew Sum Noi ep 3? - did’t show up in the grey.

The Yearbook Ep 7 - NOTHING is happening in this show. I mean I’m used to BLs without plot but this is ridiculous.

Don’t Say No Ep 4 - I got drunk and watched the world’s fanciest dumpster fire. What can I say? Or, to be fair, what didn’t I say? It’s not pretty, people. The sex scene isn’t pretty. The wardrobe ain’t pretty. I’m not pretty about either.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Friend or Lover Ep 5 - indie micro series from Taiwan that has been airing for a few months on YouTube. I’m enjoying it. It’s fluff with very little substance, but sweet and harmless. There is at least one more ep, but this kinda felt like the ending.

Given (Japan) Ep 6 fin - a surprisingly happy even sweet final episode. I was not expecting it from this show or Japan. My only issue is that this whole series was a “sing your feelings” chassis as that is one of my least favorite tropes. (It’s why I don’t like rockstar romances.) However, put that aside and this was a solid little live action yaoi from Japan that could have come out anytime in the last 15 years, but I’m gad we got it now. (full review here) 8/10 RECOMMENDED.

Gossip

Jang Eui Soo (Where Your Eyes Linger and Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding) starring in a new Korean BL My Sweet Dear. (Viki Original and it’s listed so you and save it to your watch list NOW! Read all about it here.) Not much is known about this drama yet. except he’s opposite Lee Chan Hyung who was one of the otherworld counterparts in The Uncanny Counter.

Secret Crush On You (formerly Stalker) up coming Thai BL produced (but not starring) Saint, has a GL side couple! We are all very excited by this.

Thai BL adaptation of KinnProsche seems to have been adopted by a new company under a new name. It’s like the shelter dog no one keeps for very long. Perth is out. No idea what’s going on. Frankly, don’t care. Wake me when it has an air date and is actually releasing.

More of our trusted BL grey suppliers on Daily Motion had their accounts taken down, not sure what’s going on or where to find stuff until the dust settles.

Lots of gifs dropped from the ep 0 of Thai BL Check Out the series, coming 2022. Not a much is known about this one except its a cohabitation hotel set piece. But it looks hot.

In Case You Missed It

Seven Project FINALLY got its official trailer from Studio Wabi Sabi. I might have watched it several times. It looks like we have 1 GL, 2 definite BLs, 1 possible BL (never count on BoomPeak kissing), and 3 het romances.

GL Samantha (Manaow in UWMA + lots of other rolls) & Pineare (Del in UWMA, Yuri in Love Sick)

BL Boun & Prem (WinTeam in UWMA)

BL Earth (In in UWMA) & Santa

BL? Boom & Peak (TeeFuse in MIR)

Perth (Ae LBC1&2)

Yacht (Pond in LBC1&2)

Plan (Can in LBC1&2)

Look, imma be honest with you, as cute as SantaEarth are, as fabulous as BounPrem’s chemistry is, as charmingly familiar as BoomPeak are on screen - I just REALLY WANT SOME GOOD THAI GL. I can’t wait for Sammy & Pinaere. I don’t really care about anything else, just give us THEM!

There’s a BTS from Light On Me that shows prep for the kissing scene (spoiler: there is no prep). I rarely suggest looking at BTS stuff but in this instance, you can see why Korean romances (in general) don’t handle kisses well. They spring it on the actors without workshopping first (as opposed to Taiwan - here’s SamYu's prep activities as a counter example). You know I’m always interested in how good kisses happen, I figured you might be as well.

A baby teaser for the second half of Love is Science was the most exciting thing to happen since the last ep of Light on Me. @heretherebedork and I have been waiting MONTHS for the return of our confident gay + disaster bi pairing and it looks like Taiwan is gonna serve them up on a sizzling hot platter. (Erm that metaphor got away from me, but watch the clip and you’ll get it.) This drama also features an older woman/younger man main romance, a lesbian side nibble, and a mature hets side plot. Both het romances are with beta males. Honestly, what would we do without Taiwan?

Next Week Looks Like This:

Thai BL Love Advisor (teaser) starts up Aug 28. You can watch this one on Vibie’s YouTube channel. The teaser’s subs aren’t inspiring much confidence, and it looks like a lockdown project, but they’re trying? And it’s something new.

Korean BL Peach of Time is supposed to start Aug 30 on WeTV (trailer). This is 10 episode crossover project between Korea & Thailand involving Mii2 AKA JimmyTommy of Why R U? and Choi Jae Hyun of Run On. Korean set and support cast means we can expect high production values, short episodes, and mostly Korean language. It’s about a Thai boy, Peach (Jimmy), who travels to stay with his online Korean friend, Yun Oh. Yun Oh has a strained relationship with his mother which Peach tries to mend. There is also a ghost element.

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International subs accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

This week’s best moments?

Non & Toon taking over the noodle shop in Love Area.

The shower scene in Check Out. Look it’s been a while since we saw this trope. I like it, okay?

The kiss in Given.

These two are back and back in uniform, making them officially the longest running BL couple (until Not Me comes out, of course). Either way they sure have been in high school a SUPER long time.

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amyscascadingtabs · 3 years

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this is sappy but whatever. i wrote most of this before the season started (which is why i come off as reasonable and somewhat mentally stable about all of this) but felt appropriate to post it now as a thank you. ❤️

i have vivid memories from the night b99 was cancelled. the news came late evening my time, and i had been editing fic and checked twitter and there it was. loud and clear. i don’t remember which site it was but the picture was jake and amy with their wedding cake and that made everything feel even worse.

i remember freaking out even though i had been prepared, because those last days before the news hit on tumblr were... panicked. but i still freaked out to the extent that i ran outside in my pajama pants and hoodie and blue plastic slippers and called my mom, and then i walked up and down the streets where i lived in the darkness and cried in frustration as she tried to talk me down. i remember there were random guys with motorcycles out? but i was too hysterical to care. i’m pretty sure i screamed something to my mom about ”HOW CAN BIG BANG THEORY GET A BILLION SEASONS BUT THIS SHOW GETS CANCELLED????”

i know everyone who was in the fandom at the time has their cancellation story. what played the biggest part in mine was the fact that i felt like i hadn’t had enough time. really, i had only just become active in the fandom, only just started interacting with people on here and writing my first few fics, but i was absolutely loving it. it was giving me happiness again after a long period of emptiness and depressive feelings. when it was cancelled, what made me feel the worst was the fact that i’d had so little time – to make friends, write fic and react to episodes together. i felt deeply jealous of everyone who’d gotten more.

thinking about it coming to an end now has made me remember that night and those feelings of jealousy. because i did get more time. i got three more years. that night, i remember asking for just one, for a half, for anything, and i got three years.

and these three years have been a whirlwind of emotions and feelings and episodes and debates and discussions and gifsets and fanfic and asks and having this as my safe space while pretty much everything changed around me in the outside world, and i just want you all to know that i have never taken a single day of them for granted. this show could have been taken from me before i’d ever gotten the chance to grow with it and alongside it, and instead it was part of my life for three whole years.

i have a really, really good memory (four time quiz champion anyone? just me?okay <3), and i remember so much of it in such detail, and it's so weird to think about how long it's been when it also feels like yesterday.

i remember my first comment on peraltiago parenting experience, my first episode-related fic, the insane high after the renewal, staying up all night to watch the wedding live. i remember writing fanfiction on the beach while on vacation in greece, on a plane to berlin, at home on my parents balcony late late at night. i remember the honeymoon episode title being released, s6 starting filming again, the excitement over every little piece of news and finding about the cast directing. i remember labor fic and christmas fics and when i scroll back to pictures of my paris trip in january 2019 it's interspersed with a billion pictures of andy at the golden globes. i remember lighting my fairy lights in my little basement room and watching season 6 in bed at 2.30 am if it was a big episode, and watching it in the morning before fridays in high school most days. i remember writing post-ep fics during classes and on my phone on subways and trains. i remember the s7 news, and the casecation nerves and debates, and fucking kissgate. being named "the class amy santiago" by my friends when we graduated and getting a little silver paper plate to show for it. i remember the first fic exchange and inventing julian and simon santiago and i remember meeting @johnny-and-dora and eating wagamamas in manchester and talking about how simon santiago was DEFINITELY on the stairs and buying a little fake plant that i named andy plantberg (he's still in a box somewhere). i remember writing fic during slow hours in the ice cream shop i worked at. moving and putting up my framed b99 poster in my own apartment (very much still up). finding out about trying and everyone going fucking crazy. infertility fic. melissa's pregnancy news. s7 promo and standing outside my job the very first day and texting siân "AMY HAS TO PEE!!!!!???" because that was in the promo and we knew there were pregnancy tests involved in the first episode. the crazy happiness of s7 finally premiering. everyone going crazy about jake and amy deciding to start trying and how i could quote the scene verbatim the next few days. the week leading up to trying, what turned out to be the last normal week before the pandemic. the fucking MESS i was after that. the following week and ding dong and crying with happiness. being dizzy with hyperfixation joy the following day and barely feeling aware of the covid pandemic for the first few days because i was just thinking about jake and amy having a baby. getting through the first few weeks mostly because of b99. admiral peralta and finding out we were having a BOY and not even being disappointed even though the headcanon had been the opposite for years because it was perfect. the iconic b99 quizzes. lights out and mac being born. somehow managing 475 days before season 8, coping together when we got the news about the final season, watching the cast do their final day of filming. the first stream being interrupted by a storm warning and cutting out several minutes because of course. getting to see parents peraltiago and MAC and the insane speed with which those few seconds were giffed. more b99 quizzes. the vow renewal. the finale.

i remember all of it and so much more and as much as my heart is breaking, i’m trying to remind myself that i could have gotten none of this.

brooklyn nine-nine has been such an important part of my life. and it always, always will be, forever. i could have lost it all that night, and instead i got three more years. if i'd known that when i was walking the streets outside my house in the darkness in complete panic, i would have cried with happiness.

so thank you. all of you. for everything. ❤️❤️❤️ for the friendships, the joy, the asks, the debates, the fic response, EVERYTHING. whether we've shared three years or one or less, just know that i'm so grateful.

have some random pictures i found and screenshots from my private instagram (which is inactive so don't bother) from when i started this hyperfixation. jesus lmao 😭😭😭😭 i am less insane now. no i'm not. but i express it less on instagram.

#my writing #b99 #b99 finale #goodbye b99 #tagging people felt wrong you're all part of this #that's my old computer my new one also has a few but it's less hysterical

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ohara-n-brown · 3 years

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Contractual Obligations - Yelena Belova x Fem!OC - Ch.2: Bargain

Summary: Carrying an artifact that can divide or unite nations, Yelena Belova is sent to Madripoor to extract one of Wakanda’s most wanted fugitives. Deserted in the City of Thieves, the two are united - and divided - by the realities of what they want to do and what they need to do to protect the things they love.

Chapter 2: Carrying an artifact with the weight of a nation in to one of the most dangerous countries in the world, Yelena and Devin find themselves face to face once more in Madripoor. -gif credits to @harleenz and @mel-is-so-awkward -

- This chapter has heavy spoilers for Falcon and the Winter Soldier ep.3 and onwards, taking place very shortly after Selby's death at the Brass Monkey. -

word.count: 3,888

♥️🕷Very proud of this one, let me know if you like 🕷♥️

Ao3 - Prologue - Chapter 1

_____________________________________________________

Bargain

America - 2023

"Wow," Valentina Allegra De Fontaine said, sitting back in her seat. "Wow. First strike on your record. How many years of 'widow'-ing and not one missed target? I mean, unless you count-"

"Fuck off." Yelena Belova said boredly. She looked around Val's lush, stuffy office, hidden somewhere in a building she probably only had guest clearance to.

"I'm just saying. A little motivation, if you will." Val chuckled, retrieving Devin James' file - this time, a little bit thicker. "A little punishment for all the paperwork. Anyway-" she sighed.

"Ever been to Madripoor?"

"You know I have." Yelena said. Once upon a time, once upon a mission, clouded by a haze in her memory. But Yelena didn't need mind control to know missions in Madripoor were often described as 'swift' and 'brief'. Lawlessness did that.

Madripoor was a playground for the rich and desperate alike.

"Good." Val said. "Devin James operates out of Madripoor as one of the Power Brokers 'big bads' on the streets. Defected there shortly after T'Chakka's death and well, the situation."

Yelena nodded. "Yes, yes, I know. The Civil War situation." she said. Natasha had explained it all to her, that night over drinks. Yelena had been tipsy the night they had decided to go after Dreykov, but it was one of her first crystal clear memories in years. Her and Nat.

Val snapped her fingers, sitting forward in her chair. "Yes." she said. "But not the Civil War you're thinking of."

Yelena frowned, head tilted in confusion. "What are you talking about-"

Val chuckled. "Come on, Do you really believe Wakandas is as peaceful as they make it out to be? Get real. Maybe you can ask her about it."

"No." Yelena firmly said. "Last time she almost caved my head in. She doesn't want to work for you. You can't force someone to work for you, Val."

For a second there was silence, and Val tilted her head at Yelena. "Oh?" Val asked, her eyes teasing in a way that skirted on the edge of malicious. For a moment, Yelena felt a fleeting feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. In the past it had been muffled, buried deep every other time she had felt it. And now, it was fresh, out in the open. Fear.

"Dreykov-" Val started.

"Fuck off." Yelena hissed again, looking anywhere but Val, in a futile attempt to stifle the feeling growing in her stomach. The thought alone made her want to vomit. Even the suggestion of it. Many people in the past had tried it. Hydra, Dreykov, there were probably even more. Soldiers and spies and warriors that had no control over what they were doing. And nights on her 42 acres, lying in bed, it had passed her mind: the fear that whatever operation Val was behind would tread there themselves.

For a moment, Val had won. The moment had passed so fast, but it left her feeling unsettled and gutted, even as Val chuckled. "That's not what we're doing though." Val assured her. "We're better than that."

"Are we?" Yelena scoffed, shaking her head. Val watched as the corners of Yelena's mouth tugged downward into a frown. "You tried to kidnap her-"

"We are." Val said confidently. "Plan A didn't go so well, maybe that's on me." she said, waving a gloved hand in the air. "Plan B. We Bargain." Val stood, rounding her desk, and Yelena turned to watch her.

"Bargain with what?"

"This," Val said, pulling a black secured case from a filing cabinet. The case could've been anything, about the size of a necklace case and twice the thickness, nondescript without so much as a S.W.O.R.D logo. Val sat back in her chair. She entered the four-digit code on the side before setting it on the desk between the two of them.

The front of the case opened on it's own, spilling purple light out with it. Yelena sat forward, peering inside.

"Wow." she said, unsure if she was supposed to be impressed with what she was looking at. "Why didn't we lead with this? Before she got the chance to bite me?"

"Because," Valentina chuckled, and she seemed so proud of herself. "Why would we give this up if we didn't have to?"

______________________________________________________

Madripoor - 2023

"So, How are you liking the place?"

Selby's hideout above the Brass Monkey Saloon was just a hair short of what Devin would classify as 'classy'. It was in the Madripoorian style, shrouded in darkness and indulgence. The couches were leather, the lights neon, and the stench of alcohol and nicotine. Devin twirled her stool at the empty bar, checking out the studio alone.

"Leave it to you to wait until someone dies for you to give me a promotion." Devin snickered, and she could hear the Power Broker sigh on the other side of the phone. "Funny how an Avenger shows up in Madripoor and suddenly you're calling me just a bit more."

"Humble yourself," Sharon warned. "It's simply a matter of vacuum. Selby made a very big mistake disclosing what she did to 'Falcon' and our Russian friend. She paid for that mistake. It just so happens you got to cash out too. Be grateful."

Word of the Winter Soldier had swept into Madripoor like a storm, a face somehow everyone knew but no one wanted to see in person. Devin herself had even gotten the bounty alert the moment Selby had been killed. A bounty of thousands of bitcoins a head.

Devin sighed, staring at Selby's faded bloodstain on the floor. "Yeah, grateful." As if babysitting the Brass Monkey was such an honor. As if this was the kind of place she wanted to be running an operation from.

"Listen. You wanted a place for you and your Wakandan defectors, you have it. Don't say I never did anything for you. The security there is better than most, given the location. Just keep it clean this time, will ya?" Sharon told her.

"Hey." Devin warned.

"There should be a security panel and panic button under the bar right next to a semi-automatic. If there's a situation downstairs, the red light will blick, if it's a security breach, the blue light will. You'll know before it gets to you." Sharon said.

Devin scooted her chair back, leaning down to look up under the bar.

"Do you see it?"

Devin squinted. "Yeah," she groaned, eyeing the red and blue alarm lights and the panic button affixed next to the gun.

"I'd check the clip if I were you. Unsure if Selby pulled it or not. Other than that, you should be good to go." Sharon told her.

Devin stood, strolling around to survey the place for any damage. Aside from the fixed window where the sniper shot that had taken out Selby, it was at the very least passable.

"Thanks, Sharon. I mean it." Madripoor was the land of the lawless, the place of the most famous and the most forgotten people. But it was a home for the homeless and a nation for the nationless. Contrary to popular belief, Madripoor was home to a small network of Wakandan defectors. Most - not all - of them were of the Jabari tribe, fleeing through the mountain border into Nigeria shortly after the civil unrest following T'Chakka's death.

Her tribe. Her people.

It was no surprise that a place like Madripoor called to those who had once called Wakanda their home. Not everybody wanted to live under a king. No matter how great or how gratuitous.

At least now they had here. A gaudy shithole above the Brass Monkey Saloon. But it was better than nothing. It was better than monarchy.

"You'll make it up to me." Sharon assured her, and Devin didn't doubt it.

"Uh-huh," Devin told her. "Call you later."

Devin returned to the bar, knowing that the longer she stood around, the quicker she'd forget about checking the clip. She returned to the bar, squatted under the counter once more, going to slip the 9mm from its holster. Except this time, something caught her eye.

This time the security light was blinking blue.

Devin hesitated. For a second, she didn't believe it. There was a moment where she weighed the difference between an underreaction and an overreaction. To be better safe than sorry. She took the gun, checking the clip and flipping the safety off.

"It's always something, isn't it?" she mumbled to herself. The Power Broker could secure a whole island, but not find her someplace that couldn't be broken into.

Devin tucked herself behind the bar, holding her breath as she waited for the threat to present itself.

And unsurprisingly, She didn't have to wait long. Her warning was a gentle one, so much so she nearly missed it: the gentle tinkering of metal against metal, a door's lock being picked. Devin leveled her sights on the door.

"Think I'm still a good shot through a door?" She called, a warning of her own. She half expected an opportunistic burglar, intent on picking through Selby's leftovers - or worse - A jaded Flag Smasher looking to sniff a trail. Instead, she got sass.

"I don't know." Yelena said. "I know I damn sure am."

Of course it was the Russian, of course it was. Devin groaned, rubbing her face for a second, before she said, "I hope you hate your job. Open the door."

"Can you promise you won't shoot me?" Yelena asked.

"Yeah, if you don't give me a reason to."

Yelena weighed the odds of it, and after a moment, the lock clicked open. The blonde girl opened the door and slid into the room, hands raised and a smirk on her face. "Don't shoot the messenger." she said.

Devin didn't want to seem surprised. The agent looked different than she had in Amsterdam, out from under the cover of darkness in her shitty apartment and into the neon lights of Madripoor. Her blonde hair was tied up into ponytails, one over the other, and this time, she wasn't in a spy suit. In fact, she looked like any woman her age in Madripoor, dressed in a jacket and jeans, her ring-covered fingers gripping a black case.

Devin moved from behind the bar, gun still trained, and yet, the girl didn't seem to be very phased. "What's your name?" Devin asked her.

"Yelena."

"Well, Yelena. I'm starting to consider this stalking. I'm going to need you to give me one reason why I shouldn't shoot you right now."

Yelena snorted, raising an eyebrow at her. "Come on," she said. "Are you serious?" And yet, she can tell Devin was very, very serious. "Don't you want to hear what I have to say?"

"Last time, you tried to sedate me-" Devin argued.

"Yeah, and it didn't work." Yelena pointed out. "So what would be the point?"

Devin scanned her face. There was truth in there somewhere, she just couldn't find it. "So what's next? Asking didn't work, kidnapping didn't work. What's next? Mind control?" she scoffed.

Yelena sighed, and Devin watched as the corners of her lips tugged downwards into a dissatisfied frown. "No," Yelena said, trying to rub the stress from between her brows. "We don't do that."

"So what do you do?" Devin asked.

"Bargain." Yelena raised the small black case, waving it in Devin's direction. "I come bearing gifts."

Devin rolled her eyes, and when she chuckled, it was more out of offense than anything. She lowered the gun. "What makes you think you have anything that I want?" she asked, tilting her head. "Val has no idea why I do what I do. What makes you think you can bribe me?" That they had anything they could hold over her head?

Yelena tilted her head right back at her. "Maybe not, but Val knows why you did what you did." she said. "Why you came here." And this is where her and Devin diverged. Devin was a warrior, taught to fight and protect and nothing more. Spies, widows like Yelena fought in much more abstract fields much more often. They fought in lies and influences and secrets.

Val had given her strings to pull, and Yelena would pull and pull until Devin unraveled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Devin challenged, her brown eyes narrowing.

Yelena had a hunch, but it was one she knew to be solid, and if it was a shot in the dark, it was one she'd take. "The civil war in Wakanda." she said.

The change in Devin's face was visible. Her grip tightened on the gun. Yelena could see in Devin the feeling she herself had felt many times before, the feeling she had felt there back in Val's office. Fear. Dread. Unearthing something that had been buried with haste, something too painful to look at.

"You were in the royal guard, T'Chakka died, and things went south." Yelena said. "You're a refugee, aren't you?" And she didn't truly realize it until she had said the words out loud.

Devin was in disbelief. Her sights waivered, and she watched as Yelena grinned, almost sympathetically. "How the hell do you know about that?" she asked breathlessly, anxiety stirring in her stomach.

"Val told me. She told me to ask you about it. I wouldn't be here if I didn't think I could help you." Yelena said, and slowly, she sat down on Selby's tacky couch across from her.

Devin glared at her, seething, and Yelena held her hands up. "Hey," she said gently. "I don't have to be the bad guy here. You and your friends here, maybe we can work something out."

Devin scoffed, but nonetheless she sat across from Yelena, setting her gun on the table between them. Yelena did the same, setting the black case down on the tabletop.

Times like this weren't easy. Negotiating, weaseling, lying. It wasn't something Yelena particularly liked. At the worst of times, she longed for the days when she wasn't the one doing it. It was easier when the lies were pre-written in her head, when guilt and worry were stifled and muffled somewhere in the back of her mind.

Yelena didn't like controlling people.

She unlocked the case, but instead of opening it, she rotated it to face Devin. Devin's stomach sank. A part of her didn't want to open it. She didn't want Val to be right. She didn't want to give them the power or the satisfaction, but it wasn't like she had a choice.

She unlatched the top of the case and from there it opened on its own, the two doors sliding aside with ease. Purple light spilled from it, what Devin recognized as UV, and inside sat a glass slide containing a scientific sample. A sample of a leaf.

Devin covered her mouth to muffle a gasp. Her chest seized with sorrow, with a mix of panic and dread she didn't think she'd ever felt before. Yelena frowned, her brow furrowed in confliction as she watched Devin close her eyes and a tear roll down her cheek.

For a minute, Devin didn't say anything.

"Can I touch it?" she whispered. Yelena nodded. It occurred to her at that moment the weight she had, what exactly she was carrying on her shoulders.

Devin reached into the case, taking the glass slide of the leaf. She held it like it was sacred, holding it up to the light to see it's detail. But it was futile, a sick attempt to prove herself wrong. But she knew what it was. Every Wakandan did.

It was a picture plastered in every Wakandan textbook, on every official seal. It was what nations and monarchies were built on.

The leaf of the Heart-Shaped Herb.

When Devin spoke again her voice was small, weakened by the shock of it all. "Do you know what this is?" she asked, and when Yelena nodded, Devin shook her head. "No. Do you know what this means to me? What this leaf- what it means to my people? Why do you have it?" she asked, tears in her eyes. Devin set the slide back down, terrified her shaking hands would drop it or shatter it.

"Val knows exactly how much it means to you. She wouldn't have sent me if she didn't." Yelena said, and the sympathy in her green eyes made Devin's stomach turn.

"T-this shouldn't exist. If you are telling me this leaf comes from a living Heart-Shaped Herb that Val has...it shouldn't exist." Devin insisted. "Killmonger ended the lineage. It ends with T'Challa. No more herb, no more Black Panther, no more monarchy. That's why he did what he did. That's what KillMonger died for. You can't tell me that...that some bureaucratic colonizer has a plant that could liberate my people overnight." she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "That she's just keeping it in a lab somewhere when people are there suffering. Dying. Don't tell me that."

Yelena closed her eyes. More than anything, she wanted to apologize to her. She wanted to tell Devin she was sorry. It had been months, years, since Yelena had last felt like a pawn. Like a weapon. But she did now.

She thought she was better than that. She had gotten better than that. It had been years since she was that girl back in the alleyway in Morocco, neutralizing a non-threat that craved nothing more than freedom.

Yelena didn't have it in her to string Devin along. Something told her she didn't need that much convincing. "She says there's more. That something could be arranged. You don't have to wait in hiding. You can do something." Yelena said, sitting forward. She tried to meet Devin's eyes, even as the taller girl looked away, shaking her head.

"So that's what this is," Devin said. "You're not bargaining. You're blackmailing me is what you are."

"Listen, please." Yelena pleaded, and she took a shaky breath. Her thoughts jumbled over themselves, racing each other and filling up her head. Even after her few years of freedom, the feeling would still overwhelm her sometimes, robbing her of her words before she even thought them. Yelena didn't know why she was so desperate, why she wanted to help this girl. Maybe it was because she was the only one who could.

"I know what it's like to leave your home behind and not know when or if you're coming back. I know what it's like to leave, in the middle of the night and not know what's going to happen." Yelena said, the curve of her accent thickening as the emotion flooded her chest. "And I know what it's like to not be able to do anything about it." Yelena shrugged, and her gaze dropped to the floor.

It was not the fear, but the homesickness that united them. It was a freedom both of them would never know: returning home.

"The home I grew up in doesn't exist anymore. It's over. I can't change that." Yelena said. "Yours still exists." And if Yelena had been given the chance to go home, to go back to her house in Ohio, to her kindergarten teacher of a sister, she would have. She would do anything.

Devin looked up at her, and she wiped the tears from her own face.

Looking at Yelena, having heard what she had said, it scared Devin that the offer didn't sound insane. The offer, working for Val, it sounded like a sacrifice. Like a necessary evil. Like something bigger than the both of them could ever imagine. She hated herself for believing Yelena and for considering it. But she did.

And then the phone rang. Yelena froze. It disrupted the thickness in the air, and Devin hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath.

The screen on Devin's phone read 'PB.'. Sharon.

Devin looked up at Yelena, and when her eyes met hers she couldn't hold it for more than a moment. "My boss." She sniffled. It seemed as if just thinking about her summoned her presence. That's how things were in Madripoor.

Devin picked up the phone with shaking hands, accepting the call. "Hello?"

"We have infiltration. Sources have spotted Dora Milaje in Lowtown, Madripoor. I think they're making their way to you-" Sharon said, voice hurried and muffled by wind. She sounded as if she were on the move, panicked herself, but Devin could barely hear the words that came next.

"I don't know how long you have, Dev. But they're deep, I'd go ghost." In her ear, Sharon's voice was shallow and distant, and Devin mumbled a 'thanks' before ending the call promptly.

Slowly, she set the phone down on the table. Yelena looked at her.

"You know," Devin said slowly, a grin coming to her face. "I knew you were talented, but wow." she chuckled.

"What-" Yelena started, closing the case in front of them once more.

"Exactly how much of that just now was a lie?" Devin asked, narrowing her eyes at Yelena. "That's your play?"

Yelena sat back, blinking in surprise, and she held her hands up. "I-I don't know what you're talking about!" she insisted. Standing, Devin snatched the gun from the tabletop, and for a moment, Yelena expected the darker girl to go for the herb's sample. Yelena grabbed the case and she stood, but she didn't go for the gun in her holster. She was hoping she wouldn't need to. This didn't need to resort in death if it didn't need to.

"The Dora Milaje, you led them right to me, didn't you? So all of that 'home' speech, trying to hold me off, huh? Real good." Devin told her.

The color drained from Yelena's face. She squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her hands over her face. "Blyat'!" she cursed, in what Devin could only assume to be Russian. "No, this isn't what we wanted-"

"Give me the sample." Devin demanded, gun trained on Yelena. Because it was easier to do it on her own. A sample was enough. She could find a way to synthesize it here in Madripoor, to dilute the pool, and so that way, it would be truly free. For everyone. "Give me the sample because I really, really don't want to make you." And it was the truth. They both knew it was the truth.

Devin didn't even know if she could.

Her finger grazed the trigger, and everything in her told her to shoot. But it was instinct that took over when she saw what she had out of the corner of her eye. It was instinct that made her call Yelena's name.

"Yelena!" Devin shouted, and she dropped the gun, shoving Yelena back. The both of them fell back into the couches just as a spear, gold and Vibranium-silver, impaled itself into the wall between them, sharp and silent.

It was one Devin could recognize anywhere. One she had trained with and wielded herself.

The spear of a Dora Milaje.

Devin froze. Yelena saw it in the way she clammed up, unable to tear her eyes away from the weapon. She could see the dread in Devin's brown eyes.

"Did you think you could go so far that we could not find you?" Ayo asked, stepping into the room. "D'ewe."

__________________________________________________

A/N: *- D'ewe is Devin's Wakandan name

This chapter was a beast to write, but I'm so so happy with it (or happy to be done with it lol). I'm really excited to get into the Dora Milaje and Wakandan aspects of where I'm going with this. Sorry if this is really convoluted. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

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gem-rewatch · 3 years

Text

SU rewatch- S1E11- Arcade Mania

Hey, long time no see!

I’m desperately bored in solitary quarantine at university right now, and decided to try and pick this SU rewatch series up again for fun. It’s been a while since I’ve watched through the show in order. Plus, now that this show is completely finished, there’s plenty more connections to make. I can’t promise I’ll be consistent with this, but at the very least I can have fun trying to make a few more posts at my leisure.

Anyways. With that business out of the way. Let’s get right on to the show!

We begin with yet another mission Steven’s guardians have brought him along on! I believe this is the fifth mission we know of that he’s accompanied them on so far. (Lunar Sea Spire, Inverted Pyramid, the unknown mission he returns from in Tiger Millionaire, the desert, and now this one.) It’s really sweet seeing the Gems begin to trust him tagging along more often. There will come a day in the near future where missions become routine for Steven, but in these early episodes, you can really tell that each and every one is a brand new adventure.

In terms of plot, though, this episode is honestly Future Vision: The Prequel.

We learn a lot about Garnet’s abilities and her role in the team here, even if all of these details aren’t spelled out word-for-word quite yet. Hints towards her future vision we see this ep include:

Garnet moving ahead of the group to be in the perfect spot to catch Steven when he falls.

Her flawless moves while fighting and dodging the monsters.

Her becoming a master at the rhythm game later in the episode.

Like, damn. Look at this.

Look at her go.

My Q U E E N!

I had to gif all of this just because it’s such a beautiful and smooth sequence of animation.

If there’s one thing all of the Crystal Gems can 100% agree on, it’s that Garnet is friggin’ amazing.

Garnet: “Let them go. They’re just parasites. If they want to be a problem, they’ll have to answer to me.”

So, does this statement mean that- at this present moment- her extended stay at the arcade was entirely beyond her future vision? That the only futures she saw were ones where she was actually present to deal with containment of the Gem parasites? Given that later scenes insinuate she’d never been to the arcade before, and would have no “data” about its games to factor into her internal understanding of the world, this seems likely.

I adore the gradual palette change here, from shadow, to setting sun. It’s a nice detail that adds so much more life to what could otherwise be a rather mundane transition scene. It seems like unique palettes were more common in early SU- I wonder why Crewniverse stopped implementing these as often later on?

Pearl, entering the arcade: “Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.”

Thanks, Pearl. Love you too. <3

This sequence of Pearl failing at playing a car chase/road rage game hits so much different knowing what happens in Last One Out of Beach City. It’s genuinely radical how far she grows in confidence from this point, because here, she seems so shackled to rules and guidelines. Now that we know about her rebellious past, it might be tempting to write this characterization off as “early series weirdness,” but... I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.

Instead, I wonder if she’s working through grief-related regression.

Think about it... the pain of Rose’s passing is still so fresh for her. She was a rule breaking rebel once, yes, but she spent all of those days at Rose’s side. And I get the sense that she’s poured so much of herself into keeping Rose safe, into the rebellion against Homeworld, that without those, she’s caught in a vacuum. What IS her purpose now, when the very person she rebelled for is gone?

So she slips back into old pearl-like habits. Chronic rule following, and a fear of deviating from norms. How familiar. Thankfully, much of her arc throughout the show is her directly growing beyond these habits to live boldly as her own Gem.

The friggin video game when Garnet knocks its head off: “TELL MY WIFE I’M SORRYYY!!!”

Yo, what the fuck. This line is both hilarious and messed up, all at once. Please tell me the game isn’t sentient.

Aaaand here we finally introduce Garnet to the video game sensation that is Meat Beat Mania! This game is perfectly suited to her and her power of foresight because its patterns are algorithmic and not vulnerable to spontaneous deviations, and thus easy to predict, with enough input. She’s probably getting a quick rush of satisfaction with every correct move, and she barely has to exert any energy with her future vision to get that rush. After years and years of wading through endless possibility at every avenue, this video game’s patterns must be a rejuvenating breath of fresh air.

It’s addicting.

...Kinda makes me think of how I get sometimes when I play solitaire on my phone for an hour straight. After a while, I barely even think, I’m just shuffling through my deck and moving cards almost on automatic. I don’t have to use much energy to play, and it gives me animated fireworks every time I finish a match. It’s a win-win.

Amethyst: “I’MMA WIN AN AIRPLANE!”

I don’t know what it is about the way Michaela Dietz says the world “airplane,” but this makes me laugh every time. Does... does she think she can win a genuine airplane here because she saw Onion win a tiny motorbike from the ticket booth?? Amethyst, oh my god. XD

She’s got the spirit, this wild child.

So, moving on- we meet up with our crew later the next morning, Garnet nowhere to be seen. There’s an interesting exchange I’d like to highlight real quick-

Pearl: “If we’re supposed to fight a giant foot, Garnet would let us know.” Amethyst: “Yeah, Garnet’s the boss!” Pearl: “Well, we’re all a team. Garnet just has heightened perception that guides us towards our mission objectives.”

Considering the specific phrasing Pearl uses here- “heightened perception” instead of “future vision-” did Garnet outright tell the two of them to not explain her powers, just like she told them not to mention she’s a fusion? Because I’m pretty sure no one ever uses the phrase “heightened perception” again in reference to her powers.

Given the fact that Garnet chose to keep the knowledge of Ruby and Sapphire under the table until she felt Steven could understand her better, my guess is that this is a similar scenario.

Ahah, I genuinely can’t tell if this is Steven being gullible, or just impulsively playing along with Amethyst’s antics. Still- gross, kid. Don’t wipe your wet cereal face on your shirt! Ew! :O

When he goes outside and starts to use a kiddy metal detector to scan for quarters... so THAT’S where he finds his arcade money! Because I can’t imagine Greg is financially able to give him that much to spend on non-essentials at this point in the show.

Okay, so... I just want to bring light to the fact that Garnet has literally been in this arcade ALL NIGHT LONG.

It was evening when she first arrived here- the sun was visibly setting in the background, and when Steven, Amethyst, and Pearl left, the sky was dark. But now it’s morning. Steven was just seen eating breakfast. And Garnet is STILL HERE.

Does this mean Mr. Smiley locked her IN? I have so many questions... Did he try to get her to leave, only to be intimidated by her complete lack of response? I would kill to know more about this interaction. Poor Mr. Smiley. That man deals with so much bullshit in this town, huh?

Geebus, is Garnet a solid wall. Previous episodes have shown Steven forcibly shoving whole tons of food, and swinging a mini-freezer over his head, and yet he can’t get her to budge even an inch.

I absolutely adore how he climbs up her frame like a koala, though, ahah. Cute.

Meat Beat Mania announcer: “That’s rare!!” Steven: “Oh my gosh...!”

I take these two lines as evidence that this is the first time Steven’s ever seen Garnet’s eyes. Specifically, the fact that there’s three of them. Which, makes sense- since Garnet is still really reserved emotionally at this point, and is only begins to get in the habit of taking her visor off to show Steven her full face later on in the show.

This expression deeply hurts me.

Steven’s so distraught here- because the others are in danger, the town is in danger, and he doesn’t have his trusty, dependable guardian who catches him when he falls and beats up scary monsters for him. Without her, the whole team is vulnerable and blind.

He feels alone. He feels... powerless.

And so he responds to that confusing, powerless feeling by trying to compensate with his own power. When all other routes he can think of fail, he smashes the video game console.

It... uh, it works... but once again, Steven entirely fails to consider the consequences, huh? He experienced a little bit of character growth in this regard in the episode Serious Steven, but even past that it’ll remain an recurring issue for him. Hell, his impulsiveness is a general character flaw even stretching into SUF.

In summary, though:

Poor Mr. Smiley. He works so hard, and doesn’t deserve this BS. ;-;

#su #su meta #steven universe #arcade mania #garnet #amethyst #pearl #mr. smiley #jen rewatches su

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xofemeraldstars · 2 years

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can i ask how many hours/days it took you to make the cas beeday gifset? i am in AWE. like. the literal sweat you must have shed over making that. or how did you get it to under 10 mb???? you are a GENIUS and we are so incredibly lucky to have your insane talent in this fandom!!!!!

hiiIIi!! 💫 thank youuu 🥺💕

WELL i just looked when i created the folder and notes file and i began planning (aka math on how to combine the 139 eps we got cas adsafdeaf which took me... probs more than an hour to make it work with the layouts lol) on march 6th!!

first gif of the set was done march 8th but since i started earlier i was more relaxed about it (rather than a week before like for the dean in every ep gifset aka 325 gifs sdsfherfsd where i felt like i was losing my mind a couple of times...)

i wanted to finish the last one last night but i was getting tired, it was late and i felt like i was not seeing clearly anymore oof time per gif i think more thank 2 hours?? with frame gathering and all + distractions cause i watch stuff when i gif lol

under read more some gif-ing talk lol

SO looking at the dates i almost made one every day - had to go in and tweak the overall coloring for the 9th gif, it was too green so that's why there are two:

after i was done planning i made multiple layout files so i could easily load one up based on my notes:

^ in each case the number is the total number of scenes in the set, so p10 means a total of 10 gifs which is the layout of the 10th gif:

as for the size!! i knew what coloring i wanted (a cooler one with a focus on blues) so i made a base coloring with 2 options for yellow/neutral scenes and blue scenes (there weren't a lot of these) and then i tweaked the color balance and exposure, in like 90% of cases that was enough (there were some very stubborn eps in there tho lol) ah look i one selective color layer lol seems like it was to add a bit more warmth from what i can see

i just took random frames from the first batch and worked to do the base coloring on those:

> yellow base:

> blue base:

then after i adjusted all the coloring for each cas square 😊 i added a hue/saturation layer to remove colors i don't want (in this case green and partially magenta) to help with the size + so it doesn't take up from the max 265 colors allowed in gifs ✌😔 and depending on the eps (mostly later seasons) i reduced the saturation for red to -10 and maybe a overall de-saturation of -10 and then i also usually add a vibrance layer and increase the vibrancy to around 30-50

AND WELL this is was my gifing process here!! damn i do hope this made sense... ??? lol

#kya answers #angelfishofthelord #i guess i can tag this in case i wanna find it again:#gif making

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mb-blue-roses · 3 years

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I've only just finished the Rolling on the River Job last night, but I felt like making a Harry Wilson post. Because even though I'm only three episodes in, I have Thoughts about this man.

Despite being confused by the things that make the Leverage team... well, the Leverage team, he gets into it pretty damn fast.

And this one of the things I love about him. Even by ep. 3, he's so clearly excited to start doing the con.

When Sophie says "Let's go steal a riverboat casino", Harry does this little drumming thing on the bar (I think that's what it is?) in front of him and I love it. (If anyone has a gif/video of that clip plz send it I'd love u)

I have more thoughts that I'll probably add in a reblog once I get a chance to watch more of the series-

Edit: found a gif of the thing I was saying

#leverage redemption #harry wilson #harry wilson leverage #i just think he's neat #he also low-key has bi energy #(is that just me? i feel like it's not just me)#but yeh i love him #expect more when i watch the rest #Arty_Girl's_Talks

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viperbarnes · 3 years

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Hey, idk if your requests are open, but if they are, can I request one with Bucky Barnes? Something where the reader maybe had encountered the winter soldier in the past (but is now maybe working with Sam and has some unspoken feelings with Bucky) and in the scene in ep 3 where Zemo tells Bucky to fight at the bar it ends up bringing her some bad memories of the winter soldier? Later Bucky can tell she's not okay and is acting skittish around him, and when she finally tells him about it he feels extremely guilty but she comforts him? I just love angst with a happy ending :3

I don’t really take requests, but this little idea was kinda inspiring so here ya go boo!

Gif belongs to @unearthlydust

Warnings for violence, blood, and being sick

You know he’s changed.

You know that he’s no longer the man he was when you first encountered him, you know the man he is now, a strange mix of conflicting outspokenness and quiet guilt. You know how he takes his coffee, and that even though he doesn’t necessarily feel the cold, he doesn’t like it all the same.

You know that he sleeps on the floor in his living room despite having a perfectly good bed, that from the moment he’d stepped foot into his apartment he’d had the best mode of escape clocked. You know that he has a secret soft spot for terrible action films, and gets misty-eyed at adverts with dogs in them.

You know all of this, and maybe that’s why it’s so terrifying.

Baron Helmut Zemo rubbed you all kinds of wrong ways, and you hadn’t even been present when he’d shown his face last. There was just something about him that made your skin crawl, but it wasn’t as if you could pull either one of your new partners aside and tell them that.

They already knew, already felt it too.

The feeling gets worse when he voices his plan, giving you all your roles to play, but again, it wasn’t as if you could pipe up and tell him to screw off. You all wanted to, but for now, you needed him and his stupid plan.

It’s how you wind up in too high heels and a little black dress that splits unnecessarily far up your thigh, how Sam ends up in a delightfully adventurous suit, and how Bucky is landed with pretending to still be a brainwashed assassin.

You can’t stop the scowl from taking up residence on your features as you move through the streets of Madripoor, glad that nobody really seems to pay attention to you, not when the Winter Soldier was around.

Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t take long for everything to turn to shit, and you nearly hiss at the way Zemo commands Bucky to fight. For his part, Bucky seems completely unperturbed, but perhaps that was part of disturbed you so much.

He’s beautiful, it’s undeniable, even when he fights, it’s magnetic. There was nothing graceful about it by any means, he’s brutal and abrupt, near-mechanical in how he moves. You can’t seem to tear your eyes away, and suddenly, you’re no longer in Madripoor, no longer in your stupid little dress and heels.

You push the man you’re protecting into the back of the car with a mighty shove. The wheels might’ve blown, but it was still another obstacle between him and the attacker.

Smoke blows across the road ahead of you, the flipped car that had previously been part of your convoy crackling with flames from the IED. You’d half expected a group of insurgents, but you’re greeted with just one man, striding confidently through the smoke and right towards you.

He was tall, broad, and covered head to toe in black, only his eyes and hair visible. Sunlight glints off the metallic of his sleeve, but when you take a closer look, you realise it’s not a sleeve at all.

Mouth dry and heart racing, you palm your weapon and fire twice. The man lifts the metal limb and blocks like it’s nothing. He’s nearing now, and for the first time in your career, you feel anxiety overcome you.

He doesn’t even try to attack you until you throw the first punch. He ducks it easily, blocks the follow up blow by batting your wrist to the side. His eyes set on you then, blank and oddly calm, and blue as the sky above.

He pulls back his own fist, and somehow you manage to dodge, jumping back and raising your gun again. No way he’d fair this close. But you’re wrong. You get three shots off before he’s in your face again, hand grabbing the barrel of your gun and yanking it from your grasp. You hear the clatter of it when it hits the ground, but don’t have the chance to formulate your next move.

Your throat is grabbed hard, and you’re forcibly shoved back until you hit the wrecked car. You grasp in vein at the man’s hand as it tightens, and with your back now against something, manage to put all your years of training to use.

You get your foot up between you, planting it harshly in his center mass and kicking with all your might. It seems to take him off guard, because he stumbles back, releasing your throat. You take the moment to turn around, hands banging on the car window.

“Go! Run! I’ll distract him!” You scream at your ward, and watch as the man scrambles from the car, out the opposite door.

You’re about to turn around when the back of your neck is grabbed and thrust forward, connecting with the car window so hard it cracks. You gasp, calling out in pain as blood immediately begins dripping down your face. He pulls you back to do it again, but you drop, becoming dead weight and managing to slip under his legs and out of his hold.

Still, you’re dazed, and blood seeps into your vision making your disorientation even worse. You stumble, knees meeting the ground for a moment as you grab at your forehead and clench your eyes closed to try and clear your head.

The deafening sound of three quick gunshots opens a pit in your stomach, and you just know, without even seeing, that you’d failed.

You get your eyes open by the time the assassin is stalking back towards you, gun holstered now. He closes his fist around your throat again and lifts you clean off the ground, his other pulled back and raised to hit you. You fumble, finding your mark and pulling the gun from his hip, pressing it to his abdomen and firing. Again, he reels back, dropping you and keeling over.

You don’t even attempt to finish him off properly, your fight or flight activated. He was downed anyways, and there was no way he’d give chase with a wound to the center mass like that.

But you’re wrong. You make it barely to the end of the block before something embeds itself between your shoulder blades, the pain so sharp and sudden it makes you fall. Before you know it, a weight is pressing down hard against your shoulder, a boot, and the knife is ripped from your body mercilessly.

You cry out in pain, life flashing before your eyes when a fist harshly grips you by the hair and pulls back your head. You feel the blade, still slick with your own blood, press against your throat.

Sudden yelling makes the assassin freeze, and with your head still raised, you can see the approach of several heavily armoured men in black. The one who shouts is speaking Russian, but your brain was too frazzled to translate properly.

The knife is removed from your throat, and your head released. The weight on your body leaves and you’re left gasping on the asphalt. Spots dance in your vision, but before you pass out, you lift your head just enough to see the assassin join the other men, before they disappear into a dark vehicle.

The place between your shoulder blades aches with memory, and you can think of nothing else for the rest of the night.

Even when you’re taken to see Shelby, even when the fighting starts and you’re forced to run, even when Sharon saves your asses and lets you crash at her place.

You change into the first thing Sharon suggests for you, not even caring. You felt numb, and cold and sick. You position yourself on the couch with the view of all the room’s doors and windows and sit quietly as the others talk. It isn’t until Bucky comes out of nowhere and sits himself next to you that you finally make any noise.

Unfortunately, that noise is a frightened gasp.

Everyone stops to look at you, Sam’s features folded into concern, while Zemo just seemed mildly amused. Bucky looked nearly as surprised as you, his eyes turned up at you. That’s when you realise you’ve shot up, gun in your hands and aimed directly at him.

That same sickness becomes overwhelming then, and the weapon falls from your hands to the carpet with a thud.

“I-- I didn’t--” You swallow thickly, eyes never leaving the man in front of you.

“--I’m sorry…” You manage to blurt out but quickly fly from the room, desperately seeking a sink, or a bathroom of some sort.

You reach a toilet just in time, emptying the contents of your stomach inside. You wheeze and choke as the sick burns your throat and you struggle to breathe, your eyes stinging as you hack and heave.

Hands gently pull at your hair, gathering it out of your face and holding it back, a warmth dropping beside you in the tiny space. You half expect to find Sam or Sharon, but you’re not unsurprised to find Bucky crouched down, his features a mix of sympathy and concern.

“Breathe through your nose.” He instructs, free hand moving to rub over your back soothingly, unintentionally brushing over your long-healed stab wound.

“I’m sorry…” You rasp when it seems you’re finished.

“You alright?” Is all he asks, hand moving to steady your shoulder when you move back from the toilet. Your miserable nod allows him to stand, and he closes the lid and flushes, before staring down at you and offering you his hand.

You don’t hesitate before taking it. You know Bucky. You know he’s changed.

He hovers over you as you step into the bathroom, seeking mouthwash that you use three times before you feel actually refreshed, and splash some water on your hot and splotchy face.

“You alright?” He asks again, looking at you in the mirror.

“I…” You trail off, clearing your throat.

“I forgot how good you are with your fists.” You tell him, attempting a smile, but it just comes out pained.

Bucky frowns at first, blinking in confusion until his eyes flash with recognition and he sucks back a breath.

“I-- I can go. Or you can. You don’t have to--”

“-- No, Bucky, I’m not quitting this.” You say firmly, turning to face him properly. He seems to be pressing himself against the wall, attempting to make himself look small and unthreatening, which was hard to do when he was a six foot four super soldier built like a tank.

“It wasn’t real.” He says quietly, avoiding your eyes, and you smile tightly.

“I know. But you’re a good actor.”

His eyes flicker up to yours, pained, and you cough.

“Buck, it’s… it’s not your fault.” You tell him, but his chin only drops further.

“I nearly killed you.” He hisses, more anger in his voice than you’re expecting.

“But you didn’t. And my freak out was just--” You cut yourself off, humming.

“My freak out was because I haven’t seen you fight since then, but I’m not scared of you James.” You step forward then, close enough to draw his eye.

“You pulled a gun on me.” He says, the hints of a joke playing in his words.

“I’ve pulled guns on lots of people, doesn’t make me scared of them.” he lets you move closer still, and hesitantly you reach out, laying a hand on his arm.

“I don’t like to see you like that, Buck… it’s awful.” You admit, glad when his posture seems to relax some.

“It’s not you.” You go on, trying not to give too much away, but you’re sure you’re already seen through.

“If I can help it, it won’t happen again.” He tells you, and you finally lift your gaze to make eye contact.

Something sparks between you, something that had been subtle and unspoken up until now. Something that had been there, lurking under the surface ever since he’d shown up on your doorstep several months back, just to let you know he was in the city and going to therapy. It was there when you’d tentatively begun hanging out, neither of you really having anybody else, but not being too bothered by that either.

It’s something big and intimidating that draws you closer together, hearts beating quick and shallow under your skin. Bucky’s eyes flicker to your lips, and suddenly everything seems real.

“Hey, everything alright?” Sam appears in the open doorway, and you jump away from each other. The other man’s eyes travel between the two of you suspiciously, and you scramble to get a handle on the situation.

“Just had a bad shot at the bar.” You tell him, glancing sideways at Bucky who avoids all eye contact.

“... Right…” Sam draws out the word.

“Well, Sharon’s party is getting started, so…”

“Right! Yeah! I’ll… I’ll go… to that… the party. Now.” You stutter and stumble over words, quickly pushing past him and leaving the room.

Sam stays in the doorway, watching you leave, before his gaze swivels back to Bucky.

“Called it.” He says smugly, and Bucky’s eyes snap to him.

“What?”

“I called that you two had a thing.” He teases. Bucky glares and crosses his arms.

“We don’t have a thing. There is no thing.” He insists, but Sam only hums, shrugging.

“That’s why I walked in on the two of you about to eat each other’s faces off.”

Bucky scrunches up his nose.

“That’s… gross.” He tells the other man, who ignores him.

“You got time for that later. I’m sure Zemo’s plane has a stall big enough for two. For now, we gotta go.”

Bucky can only grumble in annoyance as he follows Sam from the bathroom, mentally preparing himself for the onslaught of commentary he was set to receive from now on.

Still, as he watches you slip on those sleek black heels, he thinks there’s probably worse things to put up with.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes/you #bucky barnes/reader #tfatws spoilers #Anonymous

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