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soulfulazrael · 2 months

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Why me not likey Stolitz and how I decide to write it

In light of recent news that the Full Moon episode will come in this lifetime and will be most definitely HEAVILY Stolitz centric I decided to make a post about what I do not like about this ship (I know, revolutionary) and how I prefer to write it and how I would prefer for it to be written in the show itself... Okay. I am not 100% honest here. Part of the reason why decided to write cringey post about a ship in a disappointing cartoon is this:

THE REASON KIDS ARE TOLD TO NOT TO TALK TO STRANGERS IS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU! (Yes, Filthy Frank reference. I am not in fact saying they are some predator, I just think they are cringey enough to warrant a reference to good old days when you pointed and laughed at this shit. Do not harass them. Fuck you if you do.).

Okay. Let's get to the ship. Careful... This is going to be long. Filled with annoyance and frustartion boiling over due to collective brain damage I get whenever I see Stolitz shippers talk like teenagers in heat. Enjoy this cancer.

Stolitz has LOTS of issues. Mainly, the writing. Which is atrocious on it. And the worst part about the writing? It didn't have to be this way. Because to me all of the issues with it are amplified by how much of a missed opportunity it is. But let's not lose track. Basically the writing on it is pretty much a standard Disney fare of first sight love which already puts us in a very VERY bad position. This Ars Goetia, one of the most powerful immortal demons is all over this one Imp because they saw them once as a child as they tried to make balloon animals and saw them smile on a line. Riveting. The whole childhood thing already kills A LOT of my interest here. It's so transparent what they are doing that this is just embarrassing. It's manipulative as all Hell (yes, yes, I said Hell, get it out of your system) and adds fuck all to this relationship besides the amount of cheese to make everyone in the world lactose intolerant. And you use this kind of plot for an ARS GOETIA from HELL. WHY!? Why do this? I know it is subversive, but it is so goddamn stupid.

And the stupidest part about it is what this garbage takes away. Because, due to this DAMN ship Ars Goetia are not different in ANY way to normal Hellborn. At all. They just have magic and look like furry avian Habsburgs. All of them are almost indistinguishable from normal Hellborn aside from us being told they are royalty and them having magic. They age the same way as Imps, Hounds and Humans do and if you want to give the "HELL YEARS" excuse, let me remind it would mean in a year time in this show we would have to go to sci-fi and there would be constant wall of bodies falling from the sky every day.

Basically this robs Ars Goetia of being truly unique. They have no unique culture, they have barely any different personalities, they are just bird people. And it's a shame because woes of immortality could be explored here in VERY interesting ways and much of that could have been applied to Stolas as well which I will delve into later. All you need to know for now is that this already puts a SOLID hit to worldbuilding of this setting and makes all the more boring.

Which is what this relationship is at this point. BORING. It's boring now because now it is very clear what direction it will all go in as both Blitzo and Stolas are just pushed as this perfect for each other pair where most amount of conflict is simply "Will they? Or Wont they?" Oh Gee! I wonder what the answer is about this relationship with a character you admitted to change because you found the pairing cute. Golly Gee. I am so anxious to find out. It is simply a waste. There is NO meaningful conflict left here besides them just finding out they are perfect for one another and then beating all those meanies that are in their way and the most meaningful conflict will probably be about forcing Octavia to see how GOOD Blitzo is and how it is okay for Stolas to do what he does... I may or may not have some prior knowledges btw, but I wont say anything. All you need to know is that I want to die.

Which brings us to the most insulting in my opinion issue with both Stolas and Blitzo (O is not silent you gremlin). NOTHING is allowed to be their fault. NOTHING. Every time something seems like they fucked up is immediately forgiven, revealed to NOT be their fault or is swept conveniently under the rug under the guise of "it's just a comic relief bit" or "it's just filler". I genuinely hate that. Both Stolas and Blitzo are awful and flawed people and it would be NICE if this show LEANED INTO THAT. Because that is interesting, but instead this show wants you to root for them by making you forget they are flawed, awful people. Where everyone against them is the evil one or a friend that needs to forgive them and see how hurt THEY are. That is infuriating because it makes both of them a goddamn chore to watch as they are facing no consequences or accountability for any action they did. There is no nuance there. They are just nice people who at most have issues with communication and like to swear, have sex and cry (which doesn't make them deep). I must say Blitzo has SOME interesting conflict to him, but it's beaten down by how much this show tries to make him into some ultra cool badass who is never really in the wrong despite him acting like a complete twat. Which makes me feel like the writing team genuinely thinks like Daffy here at the end:

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And I know this is set in Hell, but it means Jack when you try to make people believe your "asshole" characters are not them. You do not embrace it. You just try to have a cake and eat it too and Viv, you need to go on a diet with how much it happens in both of your shows.

In this topic I think user named crooked-wasteland made a better case than I ever could about the way this show tries to absolve Blitzo at least. Linke here: https://www.tumblr.com/crooked-wasteland/735943916971524096/the-anti-bojack-anti-intellectualism-and-the?source=share

It's a good read that delves nicely into why Blitzo's conflicts end up being so shallow. Also adding to that post. Think about it. Barbie is made up to be the child killer, drug dealer and someone who *gasp* doesn't forgive little pure Blitzy who just wants to reconcile. It's clear who's side this show wants you to be on. Again. NO nuance. Just telling you what to think.

And then there is the side characters in this "conflict" where most characters are basically just props. Loona? Prop to make Blitzo look better. Octavia? Stolas needs some conflict, let's throw her dumb ass in (HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW STARS APPEAR AT NIGHT!? Your family's entire shtick is astrology!!). Stella? Oh she is just evil and stupid. Andrealphus? He is just evil, but actually smart! (actually no, he is also as dumb as a stump, but he speaks like he is not so I guess he is not supposed to be, but something did not pan out too well). Paimon. Boring shithead we saw a million times already and yet another shitty dad, because relationship issues and daddy issues are two things Viv apparently knows. A good video about it I have below:

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TL;DR this ship brings down SO MANY characters down the drain just to make these two look as good as possible. Where nothing is their fault and the most amount of conflict is them realizing how perfect they are for one another and convincing others of that fact I guess. And the worst part is that there has been hints of good writing for it in Season 1 at least in Ozzie's before this series decided to just quickly throw that into the garbage can.

Your best episode and you try to minimize impact it had as much as possible... I am so confused about this direction. Just... WHY!? Now for what I would prefer...

First what I think should have been done. I think this show should have leaned in more into Stolas being an Ars Goetia. An immortal, few hundred years old Ars Goetia. Because that already provides this story with a lot of possibly interesting conflict. Because this one fact would make Stolas all the more complicated as he would already be out of reach in terms of judging him by our own mortal standards. A creature that is few hundred years old that felt empty and bored over so much time of pure stagnancy that finds some semblance of joy and pleasure in the arms of an imp it would not even look at in any other way. A creature that because of it's immortality revels in such new experiences to feel a semblance of anything at all. Where it's purpose is lost to it and instead this demon takes joy in every bit of pleasurable experience that it can latch onto, but in doing so he hurts A LOT of people around him, like his own daughter and while he likes to say he cares for her he still inheritly still wants to feel alive as he is never allowed to.

That already gives Stolas on his own a lot of interesting conflict. He is still understandable in his pursuit of joy and happiness and excitement, but also showing the hedonism and pure selfishness in this pursuit. Where he throws all he has on the wind all for the sake of seeking something good for himself. Is it wrong? Is it correct? No idea. What do you think? That is the thing this series should do. ASK questions. Not answer them! Treat your audience like adults who can make up their own mind which is something this show simply doesn't do which infuriates me on a deep level.

And Blitzo. Lean in, into him being a greedy piece of garbage that gets his just comeuppance when he decides to latch himself onto this noble due to his own greed. Make it his faults that get him into this position and make him stay in it. And maybe if he does start to feel something for this demon as this other one may as well, maybe delve into WHY both of them are attracted to one another. As Blitzo could be attracted to power his position gives him and Stolas to the freedom he receives by being with Blitzo. Both of them loving more the ideas each one allows them to know instead of the people they really are and maybe have the conflict be about first them discovering those growing feelings, but then discovering what they are really pointed towards.

And there is no need to make Stella innocent either as she could be also another extreme adding to the misery, but not because of any inherited evil nature that wants her to hurt Stolas for LOLS, but instead is another victim of the immortality and status all Goetias have. Where it is almost impossible to not be on some level broken in mind.

And in this conflict it could be Octavia who is the anchor for both. A piece of normalcy as she did not live for so long and so is the most human piece in that place.

Some ideas here. And here is how I write it. Because me personally I choose to write it as Blitzo and Stolas both being attracted not to each other, but to what the other gives them. Stolas being forever frustrated about the position he never asked for giving him no freedom where he finds this one Imp that allows him to revel in his deepest and darkest desires and Blitzo being someone who deeply regrets his own decisions, but is too deep to pull out without losing all that he has gained and so pushes Stolas to be worse so he can keep profiting off of him.

Stella in this scenario is not a innocent soul either as in my version she is far more cold, distant and is obsessed with order and subjugation of others in order to elevate the status of her family which she actually cares about, but in a way that feels cruel and demanding. A contrast to Stolas who is a pure hedonist who while seeks joy and happiness where he doesn't have to be afraid is still a monster who's idea of happiness is indulging in most depraved acts without having to care for anyone.

And anchor there being Octavia who both of them care about, but is still hurt by both as both of them find it hard to look at the world in the way that is different from what they were taught and accepted through hundreds of years of their lives. Where many terrible events shaped their lives into those two extremes that have way of existing with one another without the risk of them both destroying one another as Stella wants Stolas gone for tarnishing their reputation and putting their family at risk while Stolas hates Stella for always pulling him with his leash he had to live with all his life. And Octavia through all of this has to find her own way to become someone better. Where she needs to find a path where she can possibly not lose either one and come out of this as someone better.

This is what I would prefer. A conflict where no side is really good, all of them are deeply flawed, complicated and very hard to pin as to which one is good or not. Where it is up to those in the audience as to what to think of this conflict. In another post here I made (like first one and this is second) I linked that fic so I will just say the name.

Song for the Quiet Bird. Stella/Moxxie ship fic. Yeah, I know. If you find it interesting check it out. And no. I do not say Stolitz should be written as I would want it to be. I just say this ship needs more nuance, more interesting characterization, more chemistry and interesting ideas. It needs to be less... cartoony than it is right now because so far it just feels like a dumb telenovela.

Okay... That was... a lot. I definitely did not cover everything I think of Stolitz. I have too much chaos in my head and I feel dizzy after typing all of this shait. Agree with me or not. It doesn't matter. If you read this that means you got very far into my incoherent rambling and I thank you for it no matter what you take from it.

I am just a human disaster with weird goddamn obsessions. Sorry for this being so chaotic. It's a reactionary piece of dumbassery from me. Maybe I will some day post something more coherent. If anyone cares. For now... Take care. Canon Stolitz is shit. At least for me. Disagree? Feel free to! Agreed? Sweet... Leave a comment if you have something to add to this... thing. I always enjoy that. If anyone gets this far.

#helluva boss #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #stolitz #stolitz critical #helluva boss rewrite #This is so long #What am I doing with my life?#God above help me #Grant me strength for I am losing it at Warp Speed #Waste of time #Youtube

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